“Do you miss it?” Emily called into the next room from the kitchen where she was pouring them both a generous glass of wine.
She didn't need to specify what she meant by it, Alex knew exactly what she meant. London was the first place she'd gone after she'd turned in her official resignation to the Bureau and settled her divorce from James. She'd been on the plane across the Atlantic before she'd thought to question why that had been her first instinct. She still wasn't entirely sure... All she knew was that since that one night they'd spent together, Emily felt like a safe place to fall.
Emily settled next to Alex on the couch, folding one leg under her and passed her a wine glass, startling Alex and making her realize she still hadn't answered the question she'd been asked. The understanding smile Emily wore told Alex that she understood exactly what had been going on inside her head.
Alex took a long sip of wine to buy herself time to think about her answer. At length, she said, “I thought I would... It's what I spent years working towards after joining the Bureau, it's what I wanted more than anything after the Amerithrax debacle, it's what I spent years repairing my reputation for... But in the end, after everything, I don't know that I ever truly belonged there.” She glanced away, teeth grazing her bottom lip. She repeated her earlier sentiment, “You left a hole I don't know anyone can ever fill.”
Emily reached across to rest her hand on Alex's knee, feeling a pang of guilt, though she knew it wasn't something she could change. Alex looked up to meet Emily's tender gaze. She smiled softly, but said nothing, just shook her head sadly.
“Every ending is also a beginning,” Emily said quietly, understanding her silence exactly. “I'd like to believe that,” she added, shrugging in a way that belied the fact she wasn't sure if she did or not. But she hoped and she knew Alex did too.
“I'd like to believe that,” Alex repeated as if testing out the words, feeling out whether they rang true. Sensing Emily's eyes on her, she stared down into her glass, swirling around the red liquid as if it were mesmerizing her while she struggled to school her emotions, knowing Emily would read them all too easily. It was something they had in common...that all-consuming fear of giving away too much, of letting someone in too far.
“Maybe you could stick around here for awhile,” Emily suggested almost apropos of nothing, though Alex knew she was changing the subject on purpose to save her from having to be vulnerable. “You could teach at Oxford or I could find a spot for you on my team – I'm the boss, I can do what I want,” she half-joked, but her eyes were serious. She was fond of the other woman – she wouldn't have been unhappy to have her stick around a little longer.
“Maybe,” Alex echoed noncommittally, eyes unfocused as she stared off into space. She would have liked it, to stay here, to teach at one of the most respected universities in the world, to be with Emily...but there was something holding her back. She didn't know what it was, only that she felt it twisting uncomfortably somewhere in her chest.
Emily recognized the look in her eyes, the goodbye written there. It was a look she'd worn not that long ago herself when the possibility of setting down roots was dangled in front of her. She knew Alex needed to settle that empty ache inside herself and she needed to do it on her own, there was no stopping it once that feeling took hold. She said nothing because there was nothing to say that either woman didn't already know, even if they didn't fully understand it just yet. She tenderly traced her fingers along Alex's jawline, then pulled her in for a soft kiss.
Alex set down her wine glass with a shaky hand, so she could tangle her fingers in Emily's hair to keep her close. Emily's lips on hers felt safe in a way she hadn't felt in a long time. They felt like home in a way she needed to settle the lonely ache numbing her bones.
Emily gently pushed her to lay back, fingers softly ghosting along the soft skin of Alex's thighs, under her skirt. Alex shivered and she wasn't sure if it was because of the chill breeze floating in from the open fire escape or the path Emily's fingertips travelled, setting her skin ablaze.
She gasped sharply as Emily's deft fingers found what they sought, knuckles grazing her centre, stroking her through the fabric of her panties, easily reducing her to breathy little whimpers. She quickly soaked through her panties, seemingly unable to keep herself from falling apart under Emily's determined ministrations.
“Wait...” Alex interrupted as Emily hooked her fingers in the waistband of her panties, stopping her before she could remove them. “Can I...?” she asked shyly, cheeks flushing, hoping Emily understood what she wanted, unsure she could bring herself to actually say the words. How Emily was consistently able to have this effect on her, she'd never know...
Emily bit her lip to stop the soft laughter bubbling up, not wanting to embarrass the other woman, simply finding her timidness cute. “Have you ever actually...?” she started to ask, more curious than anything else.
She shook her head before Emily could say the words, nervousness quivering in the pit of her stomach. “I mean, I've sucked guys off before, but never a woman,” she explained, “But I'm a quick learner.”
Emily smirked. “I bet you are...” She pressed a kiss to Alex's quickly pinking cheeks. “I'll go easy on you,” she teased as she wriggled out of her jeans, revealing nothing underneath with a grin like she'd planned on seducing Alex. She had...but she tried not to act like she'd intended on it.
Alex sunk her teeth into her bottom lip, eyes ablaze with desire, breath catching in her throat. She dropped to her knees, pressed a kiss to Emily's inner thigh, then lost her nerve. Her eyes flicked up to Emily's, full of question. She hadn't been this nervous since she was eighteen and she'd lost her virginity to her first boyfriend; she supposed it was only natural, but she still felt a little ridiculous – she was a grown woman, afterall...
Emily trailed her fingers though Alex's hair tenderly, seeing right through her confident facade. “Alright, just start out slow – you don't have to dive right in, so to speak,” she murmured soothingly, ready to guide her through it the way she wished someone had eased her in her first time.
Alex trailed slow, almost hesitant, kisses along Emily's thighs, noting how much softer her skin was than she was used to after years with her husband. Emily let out a soft little sigh, eyes falling shut, an almost drunken smile crossing her lips. Emboldened, Alex experimentally nipped at her skin, producing a little yelp. She drew back, frightened, worried she'd hurt her.
“N-no,” Emily said on a shaky breath, “Don't stop.” The fingers of one hand dug into the cushion of the couch, the other still tangled in Alex's hair.
With a mischievous little smirk, Alex carefully filed away the information that Emily liked it a little rough. Somehow, she wasn't entirely surprised. She gave another little nip, teeth scraping along the flesh a little harder, now that she'd been encouraged.
“Okay, now, use your tongue: soft little licks,” Emily instructed, struggling to keep her mind on the task at hand as Alex's hot breath whispered across her flushed skin.
Alex flicked her tongue out over her lips, steeling herself, then let out a slow breath before pressing her tongue lightly to Emily's cunt, trailing it softly up the length of her slit.
“Yes,” Emily whispered breathily. “Just like that...”
Reassured, she continued to drag her tongue along Emily's folds, producing breathy little whimpers, pleased that she seemed to be thoroughly reducing the woman's seemingly steel facade of control to nothing.
Trembling slightly, Emily said, “Go for the clit now.” Her voice betrayed her by revealing just how desperate she was for Alex's touch.
Alex brushed her tongue over her clit with the barest of touches, teasing her.
The woman was indeed a quick learner, damn her. “M-more,” Emily nearly begged. “Harder!”
Obeying, she repeated the movement, lapping her tongue over the sensitive bundle of nerves so that Emily writhed above her, nails digging into the couch cushions as she fought the urge to buck her hips against Alex's mouth in spite of the urge to just release all control at the woman's deft touches.
Pleased by the little mewls she was getting, Alex scraped her teeth across her clit, wanting more than anything to make her come with a moan of her name.
Emily cried out sharply, hips jolting up in spite of her attempts at going easy on Alex. “Oh, God! Alex!”
The sound of her name falling from Emily's lips in ecstasy send heat coursing through her, straight to her own cunt. With one hand, she palmed her breast through the fabric of her dress, thumb brushing across her hardened nipple.
“Fuck me with your tongue,” Emily said on a gasp, too desperate to care any longer whether or not she was in control. Damn control to hell, so long as Alex didn't stop her ministrations and gave her release.
With her other hand, Alex parted Emily's folds, dipping her tongue inside her.
Emily knotted her fingers in Alex's hair, trying not to tug too sharply, but it was requiring far more effort than she was capable of exerting at the moment and Alex wasn't exactly complaining.
As Emily pulled on her hair, forcing her deeper into her cunt, Alex noted with amusement that perhaps Emily wasn't the only one who liked it a little rough.
“You're getting wet, aren't you?” Emily asked with amusement, watching the other woman and the way Emily's pleasure seemed to turn her on even further. She wasn't about to admit it, but she was thrilled that the evening had taken this turn. Alex whimpered in reply, making Emily laugh breathlessly. “Eating pussy turns you on, doesn't it?” She nodded. “Fuck yourself,” she demanded.
Alex pressed two fingers inside herself with a low keening sound that travelled straight through Emily's cunt. Emily whimpered and moaned and cursed as Alex licked and sucked at her desperate pussy, thrusting her hips in time with the other woman's tongue. “Fuck, Alex! Fuck! Fuck!” she cried out, back arching stiffly as her climax wracked through her.
Alex's own climax followed shortly after. With sticky fingers, she flicked at Emily's over-sensitive clit as she came down from her high.
“If I didn't know better, I'd think there was no way you hadn't done that before...” Emily said huskily as she tugged Alex up to kiss her, face sticky with her juices, tasting herself on her tongue.
“I told you I'm a fast learner,” Alex replied with amusement, straddling Emily's lap. Emily laughed, voice still gravelly from her climax.
Emily could feel the other wetness against her thigh and made a pleased little noise low in her throat. She stroked her through her soaked panties, making her buck her hips. She flipped them over to so she was hovering over Alex.
She pushed Alex's dress up over her hips, leaning down between her legs to press a kiss to the lace. She nuzzled her nose against Alex's clit, inhaling deeply the scent of her arousal. She slowly dragged her panties off her, then used them to tie her hair back.
“Emily,” Alex groaned, the sight making her pussy clench. “Fuck me...”
Emily laughed. “Getting bolder... I like it.” She lightly raked her nails down her thighs.
She pressed kisses to the creases of her thighs, languishing them with her tongue until Alex was writhing and mewling, desperate for more.
Unable to stand it any longer, she cried out, “For fuck's sake, Emily! Just fuck me already!”
Pleased at having so thoroughly reduced the composed Alex Miller to a needy mess, Emily grinned to herself. She took her fingers into her mouth, slicking them up with saliva, then pulling them out with a wet pop.
Teasingly slowly, she inserted them inch by inch into her until she was practically begging for more. Once she was in to the hilt, she scissored her fingers, opening her up so she could press her tongue to her clit.
Laving at her clit, she brought her nearly to the edge before backing off, leaving her whimpering. Then, as her breathing started to return to normal, she started thrusting her fingers.
Alex arched her back, hips jolting against Emily's hand. “Emily, Em, Em!” she chanted. Then, on the brink of orgasm, Emily stilled her hand. Alex cried out in frustration.
Before she could protest, Emily renewed her efforts, with both her fingers and her tongue this time. Alex writhed and squirmed and once again, on the verge of climax, Emily stopped. Alex nearly sobbed. “Emily, please...”
“Let me come! Please, I need it, please!” she begged.
With one finger, Emily stroked the sweet spot inside her. She moaned softly, increasing in pitch as Emily worked her into a frenzy.
This time, Emily let her come, her cries echoing through the flat. She licked her lips, satisfied with herself, while Alex came down from her high.
Still panting, Alex brushed her hair away from her face. “I don't know about you, but I could use a shower...”
“Is that an invitation?” Emily asked with a flirtatious smile.
She laughed. “I'm not sure I've got the energy for another round, but if you can keep your hands to yourself, you're welcome to join me.”
“How can I be expected to keep my hands to myself when you're around?” she asked innocently, before pulling her in for a searing kiss.