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Suffocating

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Prompto had yet to sleep, and it was currently almost three in the morning. It was just one of those nights where he couldn’t get his brain to shut off.

He always felt more vulnerable in the night. Most people do. For a lot of people, it’s a time of self reflection, and it allows for bad memories and insecurities to surface. Usually, it was easier for Prompto to fall asleep at Noct’s place, but he was home. It helped if he could focus on the other boy’s steady breathing or think about the things they did together while he was over, so he wouldn’t have to let himself feel vulnerable. Let himself drown in negative thoughts and insecurities. But he couldn’t, so it wasn’t that easy tonight. He knows he shouldn’t have expected that, though. He’s felt shitty all week. School’s been stressing him out and he hasn’t felt like himself lately. He hasn’t felt like a human, really.

He goes through these weird periods of almost giving up, and letting himself drown in these negative thoughts. He doesn’t let himself do the things he otherwise likes to do, because he doesn’t think he deserves to do things he wants to do. He forgets to take care of himself, because he gets so stressed. He has weird eating patterns, and forgets to hydrate himself. He’s been having a more difficult time dealing with his issues with his appearance, leading to his constantly wearing baggy clothes and a decrease in him taking selfies, or really any pictures at all. And all of this makes him not want to talk to people. He gets it in his head that he’s so worthless that nobody would want to talk to him. I mean, really, who wants to be around someone that acts like a zombie?

He hasn’t really seen Noctis for the past week. His only real friend.

Why would the prince of Lucis want to be around someone like him? He’s really not that special. At least, he doesn’t think he is. He’s pretty sure Noctis would rather talk to anyone else. Does he just him around because he pities him?

Prompto rubs at his eyes. He’s still so restless, and he just feels overall terrible.

His heart rate starts to increase. He has the AC on, but he somehow still finds it difficult to breathe. He thinks about texting Noctis. Actually, he’s pretty sure Noct texted him earlier. He takes his phone off the nightstand and opens it to find more than a few messages from him. There’s some from earlier in the week, asking him where he is or if he’s busy. But, the more he scrolls down, the more concerned the texts sound. Then, he realizes he also missed three calls from him today.

Prompto knows he’s breathing, but each breath that he takes in doesn’t seem to help him. He feels like he’s suffocating. It causes a panic within him. His heart is beating so fast it almost hurts. I’m going to die , he thinks. He feels so distressed and panicked that tears fall down his face. He wants to call someone, but at the same time, he doesn’t want to bother anyone. Suddenly, he feels his phone rapidly vibrating in his hand.

Noct is calling him.

He answers it.

“N-Noct?”

“Prompto! Are you okay? You haven’t been answering my texts.”

“...No. Noct, I feel like I’m dying.”

“What’s wrong? I’m coming over.”

“Can’t breath and my heart, feels like it’s gonna explode.” He feels like it takes more energy and breath for him to speak than it should.

“It’s gonna be okay, Prom. You’re not gonna die.” Prom can hear him getting in his car. “Take deep breaths. Here, I’ll send you a gif to help you.”

Prompto puts Noct on speaker, so he can still hear him while he looks at his texts. His hands are shaking so much that he drops his phone on his bed a couple times accidently. A picture pulls up of a shape that expands for a certain amount of time and then contracts. He tries to regulate his breathing by breathing in while it expands and breathing out while it contracts. He finally feels like he’s actually taking in oxygen.

“It’s a good thing I happened to check the texts around the time you read them.”

“Yeah…sorry I like, disappeared.”

“It’s okay, but maybe just warn me next time? And tell me if you feel like you’re having an attack.”

An attack? Is that what this is?

“Y-yeah, okay.”

“I’m here.”

He abruptly ends the call on Prompto. He hears footsteps down stairs, and suddenly Noct is opening his bedroom door, still in his pajamas. He sits down next to him. “Are you okay, now?”

“Yeah.” He says, uncertain. A few tears fall down his face, again. He corrects himself, “Mostly.”

Noct reaches for Prom’s shoulder, but stops right before he makes contact.

“Can I touch you?”

“Um, yeah.”

Noct wraps his arms around his shoulders, hugging him close. Prom stiffens at first, but begins to relax against Noctis. He scoots closer to him, so it feels less awkward.

“I used to have panic attacks when I was younger. After my mom died.”

So that explains how he knew to send that gif , he thinks, he's experienced it firsthand

“How did they start?”

“I think it’d happen when I was reminded of her. I would start crying, and it would escalate into a panic attack, because I would remember what happened.”

Prompto has heard the story of how Noct’s mom died before. He remembers Noct telling him about being attacked by a demon, and seeing his mom lying on the ground in a pool of blood, looking lifeless. Noct was lucky to survive, and he had to use a wheelchair for a while after that. He’s not surprised that such a traumatic event would trigger that kind of a reaction.

“I’ve never had these before.”

“Maybe they’re from stress? Or have you been really anxious lately?”

He thinks about how he felt before it happened.

He shakes his head. “I feel like it was a mix of both.”

“Let me know if you continue to have them.”

Prom nods the best he can while lying his head against Noct’s shoulder.

“It’s after three. Do you wanna try sleeping?”

Now that he’s more relaxed, he realizes how much energy that attack took out of him. He’s having a hard time keeping his eyes open.

“Yeah.”

Noct moves them sideways, so they can lie down next to each other. Prom glances at the clock, and he looks at Noct.

“Why were you awake so late, anyway?”

“Couldn’t sleep.” He notices that Noct’s eyes are also half closed. “Too worried about you.”

Noct grabs the blanket and pulls it over Prompto’s body. Prom feels himself falling asleep, but Noct moving startles him. He puts his hand on Noct’s arm.

“Please don’t leave me.” He whispers.

“I won’t.”

Noct gets comfortable next to him, and wraps his arms around him. Prom moves the blanket, so he can cover Noct.

Before he falls asleep, he can feel Noct kiss his forehead.