Actions

Work Header

so many complex (but i'm lookin' for love)

Chapter Text

JEON has created a new group.

JEON: GUY.SYYS I JUST FUKIN ME T MY SOULMAYE WHAT THW FJCK

JINgle bells: ??????????

JINgle bells: wym???????

JEON: GUYYSSDSSCSAKBDKAFKBAKKSKJD.,!!!,,,,1!!!!!!1

kim chi: WHO????/

DANCEmonster: oh god here we go again

hoeseok: this happens at least twice a week :/

JEON: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I MET T HE LOVE OG MY LIFW

DANCEmonster: jesus christ

JEON: AND I FUCKIGN

JINgle bells: can he even be coherent

JEON: PUNCEDH HIM IN THE FACE

kim chi: what

hoeseok: u did what now

JEON: GUSYW IM FKING CRHYING

JINgle bells: whats wrong with u

JEON: IDK I WAS WALKING AND HE SCARED ME AND I JUST. PUNCHED???? WITHOUT LOOKINH???? AND HE HAS THE CUTEST EYES AND I FUCKWD UP

kim chi: are u dumb

kim chi: oh my god

JINgle bells: was he cute tho

hoeseok: probably not after jungkook smashed his face in ://

JEON: HJSKLFDL HYUNG UR SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER

DANCEmonster: look

DANCEmonster: on the bright side u havent seen his face before so chances are u wont see him again

JEON: how is that the bright side

JEON: hes the LOVE OF MY LIFE

JEON: i NEED to see his face again

kim chi: do u even know his name

hoeseok: knowing jungkook he probably punched him and then ran away

hoeseok: like a coward

JEON: ok listen

hoeseok: wait do u at least know how he looks like

DANCEmonster: yeah maybe jin hyung knows him

JINgle bells: why wld i lol

DANCEmonster: cus u know the whole school dumbass

JINgle bells: gasp

JINgle bells: the disrespekt

kim chi: ok pls calm down

JINgle bells: namjoon-yah

hoeseok: oh no

JEON: oh no

JINgle bells: we’re fucking done

hoeseok: CALLED IT

DANCEmonster: WAIT BABE NO

JEON: what kdrama is this

kim chi: i alr have the popcorn

JINgle bells has left the group.

kim chi: o_O

hoeseok: dude

hoeseok: u done fucked up bro

JEON: hyung wtf

DANCEmonster: wait WHAT DO I DO

hoeseok: go grovel at his feet idk

DANCEmonster has left the group.

kim chi: well

hoeseok: what an emotional rollercoaster

JEON: all i wanted to do was to talk about the love of my life

JEON: this is why i cant have nice things

Chapter Text

jiminie: jeon jungkook why is it that i’m just hearing about ur crush

JEON: fuck

JEON: listen

JEON: i was panicking when i created that group chat

jiminie: SO U NEGLECTED TO ADD UR BESTEST BRO FOR LIFE INTO SAID GROUP CHAT

JEON: IM SORRY

JEON: U’LL HEAR IT FROM TAE ANYWAY

jiminie: that’s not the point

jiminie: you’re no longer my BBFL

jiminie: jin hyung will be my best man at my wedding

JEON: wtf tae will never let u do this to me

jiminie: WHAT TAE DOESN’T KNOW WON’T HURT HIM

jiminie: look

JEON: what

jiminie: if you don't make it up to me, i'll expose ur dumb tragic busan past

JEON: jimin hyung

JEON: my fav hyung

JEON: my sweet pudding

JEON: my gentle, precious honeycake baby

JEON: my bestest bro for life

jiminie: im listening

JEON: i'll treat u to that bbq place u like ;)

jiminie: ;)

jiminie: you're forgiven ;)

Chapter Text

DANCEmonster has created a new group.

DANCEmonster: jungkook

DANCEmonster: u said ur crush was Korean?? rlly pale?

JINgle bells: small-ish hooded eyes?

JINgle bells: kinda short???

JEON: what

JINgle bells: i think i found him lol

tae-lor swift: wait a min i thought joon hyung and jin hyung broke up

DANCEmonster: silly child, jin loves me too much to break up with me

JINgle bells: idk a namjoon :///

DANCEmonster: JIN IS2G

JEON: WAIT

tae-lor swift: what a savage

JEON: wdym u found him

JEON: ???????

JINgle bells: like i found his identity???

hoeseok: how even

DANCEmonster: jin hyung knows everyone lol

JEON: spill

JEON: who isit?????????

hoeseok: wouldnt u like to know :”)

JEON: stfu did i ask u

hoeseok: RUDE

JEON: stfu did i ask u hobi hyung

hoeseok: thats better

jiminie: jin hyung !!!! spill the tea

JINgle bells: ok so

tae-lor swift: SO

JINgle bells: i was asking round for anyone that matched that description jungkook gave us

DANCEmonster: which was rlly fucking vague btw ://

JINgle bells: shut up im tryng to talk

tae-lor swift: #rekt

JINgle bells: and like Jackson told me that wendy told him that kihyun knows a guy from his accel music class that fits the description

JEON: so???????

JEON: who is it ????????

JINgle bells: hes in the same year as me

jiminie: HIS NAME JIN HYUNG

DANCEmonster: jin likes to be dramatic let him live

JEON: WHO IS HE

hoeseok: wait a min

JINgle bells: min yoongi; 22; from daegu, south korea; majors in music prod; minors in photography

JEON: MIN YOONGI

hoeseok: i know him lol

jiminie: what

JEON: JNAKSDNLCNASDNVBALW HIS NAME IS SO CUTE KBJAQOGAV

DANCEmonster: what

tae-lor swift: what

hoeseok: ya hes in my accel music class too

JEON: JDNALEQJBPPAK;JXNAMVMZVNAKVNDLVKLNV

JINgle bells: why didn’t u say something wtf

JINgle bells: do u know how long i spent trying to track him down when U KNEW HIM ALL ALONG

DANCEmonster: jin hyung don’t pretend like u didn’t enjoy it

JINgle bells: STFU DO U WANT ME TO BREAK UP WITH U AGAIN

hoeseok: jungkook didnt give me the description

hoeseok: how am i supposed to know

jiminie: wait this is unexpected

JEON: HES FROM DAEGU THATS SO CLOSE TO BUSAN

JEON: WERE MEANT TO BE NSBDLJBASKJKJCN

DANCEmonster: jungkook busan is at least 88 km away from daegu lol

tae-lor swift: interesting

tae-lor swift: so hoseok hyung do u have his number or

hoeseok: yeah i do

hoeseok has added minsuga into the group.

minsuga: whats this

JEON: HOBI HYUNG WTF

JEON has left the group.

tae-lor swift: damnit jungkook

minsuga: who tf r u guys

hoeseok: yoongi hyung these r my friends

hoeseok: the one who just left is jungkook

minsuga: ok

minsuga: the rest?????

DANCEmonster: im namjoon

JINgle bells: shut up

jiminie: we’re irrelevant

tae-lor swift: yeah u just gotta know who jungkook is

minsuga: ??????? ok??

hoeseok has added JEON into the group.

JEON: JSBJKCSCLVBAB WHY DID U ADD ME BACK

minsuga: ur jungkook??

JEON: wtf

minsuga: im yoongi

JEON: JDKBQ;LWFQJKBLWE;KACSLDBL

minsuga: whats wrong w him lol

JINgle bells: hes glitching

JEON: HIS CHATNAME IS SUGAJD BQOFBOWBVOEBJWOJ

hoeseok: is2g jungkook

jiminie: grow a pair dude

JEON: STFU UR NOT SINGLE

JEON: U CANT RELATE

minsuga: ive never been so confused

DANCEmonster: yoongi-ssi, jungkook here is having an emotional crisis and hobi has nominated u as the lucky one to deal with his shit

tae-lor swift: jungkookie can u stop yelling im getting a headache

jiminie: taetae :(

minsuga: ???? why me??

JEON: YOONGI-SSI IM SO SORRY

JEON: IT’S A TERRIBLE MISUNDERTSANDNIG

hoeseok: damnit jungkook just admit u want his ass and go

JINgle bells: OMFG

DANCEmonster: OMFG

JEON: JBAJSDVBSDBLABVLSDLB

JEON has left the group.

minsuga: wow

minsuga: im leaving

minsuga has left the group.

jiminie: so

JINgle bells: great plan, hobi

tae-lor swift: i disappear for 2 seconds and we’ve lost 2 comrades

hoeseok: ok i admit this wasn’t well thought out

jiminie: what now

DANCEmonster: hobi this is why no one lets u plan anything

hoeseok: stfu peasant

Chapter Text

hoeseok has added JEON into the group.

hoeseok: ok plan 2

JEON: is the love of my life still in this group

jimjams: no

JEON: thank jesu s

hoeseok: jungkook u need to get a grip

JINgle bells: turn on ur manly charms

taetams: woo the shit out of min yoongi

JEON: jdbcjsbjjbvj i caNT

DANCEmonster: it’s not that hard

hoeseok: look,,,,,,,,,

JEON: he probably hates me :(

JINgle bells: i wouldn’t blame him

JINgle bells: i would pissed too if someone punched me in the face :///

DANCEmonster: wtf jin hyung

taetams: kookie dont listen to seokjin hyung

JEON: what do i doooooooo

JEON: help

jimjams: i think firstly u need to apologize for punching him

JEON: ok apologize

JEON: got it

hoeseok: yoongi hyung is a really chill guy usually so

hoeseok: i dont think it would be very hard to get his forgiveness

JINgle bells: it’s what comes after that’s hard

JINgle bells: if u know what i mean ;)

taetams: hIS D I C K

jimjams: TAE WTF

DANCEmonster: WTF I DIDN’T NEED TO SEE THAT

JEON: JNSKCNQNDNSVNWKDBVKWB

JINgle bells: its ok joonie u can see mine later

JINgle bells: ;)

JEON: I HA TE ALL OF YOY

jimjams: jin hyung get ur horny ass off the chat

JINgle bells: as if taehyung didnt contribute ???????

JINgle bells: why am i the only one being called out???????

hoeseok: can y’all chill

hoeseok: jeon this is ur second chance at redemption

hoeseok: im adding yoongi hyung back in here

taetams: WAIT

JEON: what

DANCEmonster: what

hoeseok: what

taetams: kookie u gotta lose that chatname

JEON: why ???

JEON: JEON is a cool chatname

taetams: yeah but its unfriendly

taetams: you want min yoongi to LIKE u

DANCEmonster: ok i agree w tae

taetams: :D

JEON: then what do i change it to?

JINgle bells: “dumbass” seems apt

JEON: nO

taetams: “kookie”

hoeseok: thats weird

jimjams: how abt “jungkookie”

JEON has changed his chat name to Jungkook.

DANCEmonster: i think just “jungkook” is fine lmao

hoeseok: ok im gna add yoongi hyung in

hoeseok: u ready?

Jungkook: #pray4mi

hoeseok has added minsuga into the group.

minsuga: so i’m back here

minsuga: may i kindly enquire as to why the fuck?

Jungkook: Min Yoongi-ssi, I am Jungkook. I would like to sincerely and formally apologize for last Saturday. It was never my intention to hurt you in anyway, and I will be fully responsible for my actions. I am willing to pay whatever medical bills that you may have acquired. I am sorry.

DANCEmonster: :0

jimjams: o_0

taetams: wow

hoeseok: thats. actually impressive

JINgle bells: who are you and what have you done to my jungkookie

minsuga: i assume that’s for punching me in the face?

minsuga: i’m fine

minsuga: not suing u or anything lol

Jungkook: oh thank god

Jungkook: does this mean im forgiven

minsuga: idk why dont u find out urself

minsuga: 3.30pm @campus starbucks

DANCEmonster: im sorr ywhat

taetams: JBNJSDBJBCWAJJB DID HE JUST

Jungkook: OMG

JINgle bells: i caN T BELIEVE

jimjams: ???????????

minsuga: so is that a yes?

Jungkook: FUCK YES

JINgle bells: HOLD ON A FUCKING SECOND

minsuga: what

hoeseok: did someone just ask jungkook out

taetams: i cant believe this

minsuga: whats wrong with that

minsuga: hes cute

Jungkook: SBJVWBDLJALBSDJKLBVKJAFLBEJK

DANCEmonster: WDYM “CUTE”

hoeseok: wtf how do u know how he looks like

minsuga: his profile photo in this chat, dumbass

hoeseok: oh

JINgle bells: hoseok u dumbass

Jungkook: @!@!ERTV@$£)URW)DSNFIQI£$HT(OVW

jimjams: damnit yoongi-ssi u just destroyed him

Jungkook: IM SO

minsuga: also can you stop calling me yoongi-ssi

minsuga: i think at this point we’re way past the formalities

minsuga: and introduce yourselves pls

jimjams: im jungkook’s bbfl

DANCEmonster: that’s jimin

JINgle bells: im seokjin

taetams: im GAY

hoeseok: we know that lmao

taetams: JSKBQWB I DIDNT TYPE THAT

taetams: fuck off park jimin

jimjams: ;)

JINgle bells: that’s taehyung

JINgle bells: jimin and him are gross-dating

DANCEmonster: jin hyung and i are cute-dating

JINgle bells: idk a namjoon :)

minsuga: jesus christ i regret this

hoeseok: too late hyung

hoeseok: once u jim-in, u never jim-out

jimjams: STFU DIDU RLLY JUST

Chapter Text

sockJIN: losers how did ur 3rd date go ;)

minsuga: it went fantastic thanks for asking

jeon cena: yoongi hyung and i are boyfriends now !!!

taetams: HOE

sockJIN: WHAT DID U JUST UFCKING SAY

jimjams: BITCH THATS FAST

hoeseok: i got u two together ur welcome

hoeseok: im best man at the wedding that’s final

jimjams: no ur fucking not

taetams: it took u like literally 3 days to start dating ????

jimjams: hey tae it only took u 2 years of pining before u asked me out !!!!!!!!

godofdestruction: wow

minsuga: why didnt jimin just ask taehyung out himself

jeon cena: cus jimin is a coward

jimjams: that’s JIMIN HYUNG to you bitch

godofdestruction: jungkook i thought u changed ur chatname to appeal to yoongi hyung more

sockJIN: yeah why is it back to some dumb name

jeon cena: :( yoongi hyung thinks its funny

minsuga: i do

taetams: #WHIPPED

hoeseok: MOVE ASIDE NAMJIN U HAVE A COMPETITOR

sockJIN: fuck off me and joonie r the best couple

godofdestruction: just 30 seconds ago u broke up with me cuz i spilt the coffee on the table :/

sockJIN: yeah well it was a damn NICE TABLE

godofdestruction: we’re technically still not back together yet

hoeseok: one couple triumphs while the other couple dies

taetams: its what the bible says

taetams: “the lord giveth and the lord taketh away”

godofdestruction: wtf tae

sockJIN: that’s not in the bible dumbass

jimjams: did anyone foresee the day that jeon jungkook actually did something to please another man

jimjams: cuz i didn’t

jeon cena: bitch i am a strong independent young man who don’t need no man

godofdestruction: U CHANGED UR CHATNAME CUZ YOONGI HYUNG THINKS ITS FUNNY

jeon cena: sO??!??!

sockJIN: jungkook u literally had the same chatname for the past 2 years

sockJIN: until yoongi came along

godofdestruction: i think ur pretty damn whipped

hoeseok: they just got together let them live

taetams: even jiminie and i weren’t that disgusting

minsuga: im sorry? says the one with matching couple names?

jimjams: tae and i are CUTE

godofdestruction: i object

hoeseok: i object

sockJIN: i object

jeon cena: i object

jimjams: jsbjcbajbjdbfkjabkjbdskbj

taetams: fuck off we’re the cutest couple

hoeseok: i just realized

godofdestruction: what

taetams: ur indisputable stupidity???

hoeseok: am i the only single one in this gc

jeon cena: congratulations

hoeseok: stfu jeon jungkook i got u and yoongi hyung together i can easily break u apart again

minsuga: u can try

jeon cena: oMG

sockJIN: that’s so???? passive aggressively hot?????

sockJIN: namjoon why cant u be like this too

godofdestruction: suddenly i cannot read

jimjams: now we know what kinky shit jin hyung is into

taetams: OMG

jimjams: at this point i don’t even know if jin hyung and namjoon hyung are together anymore

jimjams: how does anyone even keep track of their relationship

hoeseok: its a task™

sockJIN: yknow what else is a task™

hoeseok: what

sockJIN: ur single ass getting in a relationship

hoeseok: STFU i swear to god i will fill ur sinuses with urine

taetams: kinky

sockJIN: what the hell is wrong with u

jimjams: nice one tae

sockJIN: i take that back, no wonder u 2 r dating

godofdestruction: has anyone noticed jungkook and yoongi are missing lmao

hoeseok: oh yeah whr r they lol

taetams: jungkook not responding to group chat notifications ???? it’s more likely than u think

godofdestruction: BEEP BEEP YOURE UNDER ARREST FOR USAGE OF BAD MEMES

taetams: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jimjams: we lost our brethren-in-arms

sockJIN: jungkook u will forever remain in our hearts as the most annoying piece of shit to ever grace this planet

sockJIN: yoongi idk u well but you’ll be missed too i guess

hoeseok: jin hyung

sockJIN: what

hoeseok: shut ur mouth

sockJIN: why is there no damn respect in this house

sockJIN: im older than all of u assholes

sockJIN: i raised all of u and kept u alive

sockJIN: this is how im repaid

sockJIN: ungrateful bitches

jimjams: calm?? down ??????

taetams: namjoon hyung can u come collect ur man

godofdestruction: ?? i have no man im single and ready to mingle

sockJIN: i see

sockJIN: namjoonah u can kiss my samgyeopsal goodbye

godofdestruction: IM SORRY HYUNG I LOVE U MY SWEET PEPPERMINT BOYFRIEND

hoeseok: i always wonder how jin hyung keeps his man

hoeseok: it’s through blackmail and deceit

jeon cena: sorry we’re back

sockJIN: were u with yoongi

jeon cena: yup

taetams: whats so important that u didn’t reply for a solid 5 mins

jeon cena: giving a good succ

minsuga: getting a good succ

jimjams: JDABKSBFLJBWELJBLSJBDLJFB

taetams: SJDQKFWNKRJLBEKPDKVLE

hoeseok: DID I FUCKING NEED TO KNOW THAT

jimjams: JUNGKOOK WTF YOU’RE LIKE 4

sockJIN: MIN YOONGI WHAT ARE U DOING TO MY BABY

jeon cena: im not ur baby wtf

sockJIN: I RAISED U ON MY BACK

sockJIN: UR BEING CORRUPTED BY THAT YOONGI BRAT

godofdestruction: jin hyung calm ur shit

sockJIN: WHAT DO U HAVE TO SAY FOR URSELF

minsuga: hes 19 not 4

taetams: i cant believe my bby jungkookie is growing up :”)

taetams: hes a real man now :””)

hoeseok: jin hyung don’t pretend u weren’t getting it on when u were 19 too :/

sockJIN: THAT’S DIFFERENT

minsuga: hows that different?? ??????

sockJIN: im attractive of course im getting action

sockJIN: i cant believe jungkook’s dumb baby face got him a boyfriend and then a dick too

jimjams: …………….. literally why

taetams: im leaving

godofdestruction: ur literally just jealous of jungkook

sockJIN: shut ur pie hole im not

hoeseok: for the last time goddamnit namjoon control ur man

jimjams: fr tho i cant believe jungkookie prioritised dicking over his cLOSEST FRIENDS

taetams: u’ve literally known yoongi for like 1.2 days ???

taetams: wheres ur sense of honour????

jimjams: bros before hoes

taetams: sisters before misters

taetams: fries before guys

jimjams: respect the brocode bro

jeon cena: once u sexiled me outside at -10 degrees weather for an entire half an hour

jimjams: .

jimjams: ok i admit i was wrong

jeon cena: bitch

godofdestruction: park jimin admitting hes wrong????? it’s more likely than you think

taetams: literally who was the hoe that told me not to use bad memes

hoeseok: is jin hyung ok

hoeseok: he just yelled and then disappeared

godofdestruction: he went to mourn the loss of jungkook’s purity

jeon cena: SDWJBKVBLBQABL LITERALLY WHY

jimjams: is yoongi hyung ok

jimjams: he hasn’t rly said anything

minsuga: unlike you, i actually have a life outside of this group chat

jeon cena: lol no yoongi hyung just types really slow

taetams: HAHAHAHAHH

jimjams: LMAO

minsuga: don’t expose me u brat

minsuga: all of u type too fast

godofdestruction: declining comprehension and reduced rate of reading is a sign of old age hyung

jimjams: jungkook i didnt know u were into older guys

hoeseok: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

jeon cena: JKSDBVBJDBKABDSA im leaving

minsuga: fuck all of u

Chapter Text

vanTAE: OMFG I JUST SAW THE CUTEST DOG

vanTAE: ASDFGHJKL

vanTAE: I TRIED TO SAY HI TO HIM AND HE PULLED ON HIS LEASH

jeon cena: OMG

vanTAE: IT WAS SO EXCITED TO SEE ME

hoeseok: omg

godofdestruction: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg

jeon cena: yoongi hyung can we pleasseee get a dog ◉‿◉

minsuga: ah im not sure kook-ah

jeon cena: plssssss

excusji me: watch yoongi hyung cave in

minsuga: kook ah how about we get one after we date for a while hmm?

jeon cena: okay (๑✧◡✧๑)

hoeseok: #WHIPPED

vanTAE: #WHIPPED #CONFIRMED

excusji me: JAKDAFLJDBLFQBL JUNGKOOKIE PLS LET ME PET UR DOG EVERYDAY

godofdestruction: jin hyung can we please get a dog too

leJINdary: joon im allergic

minsuga: what kind of self-respecting individual is allergic to dogs

excusji me: damn that’s harsh

hoeseok: LMAO

leJINdary: bitch ass thot

minsuga: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jeon cena: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

leJINdary: ur dead if i ever get my hands on u

hoeseok: are we just gonna ignore the fact that jungkook and yoongi hyung just both used emoticons wtf

godofdestruction: jin hyung pls :(

godofdestruction: i’ll take it out for walks and clean its poop

leJINdary: well im still saying no

hoeseok: i guess we are

vanTAE: this is like watching a married couple fight

excusji me: now we know who wears the pants in this relationship

leJINdary: on a good day neither of us do ;)

jeon cena: DSJBAFJBKABLB STFU

excusji me: IM FUKING CHOKIN G

minsuga: i cant go one day without seeing some sort of innuendo here

godofdestruction: I HATE U

leJINdary: that’s not what you were yelling in bed last night

hoeseok: IM FUCKING DELETING MYSELF

minsuga: honestly what is wrong with seokjin hyung

leJINdary: ;)

vanTAE: so ,,,,, jungkookie hows ur day

jeon cena: it was great wbu

excusji me: im fantastic thank you for asking

leJINdary: are u guys literally ignoring me to mY FACE

hoeseok: i’m having a splendid evening everyone

godofdestruction: its three o clock in the afternoon dumbass

hoeseok: i’m.

leJINdary: i cant believe this attitude smh

jeon cena: if me and yoongi hyung are getting a dog i’m naming it Shooky

excusji me: shooky???? what an original name, guess what? im SHOOK

vanTAE: what an original pun guess what? im breaking up with u

excusji me: TAETAE NO

minsuga: why shooky lmao

jeon cena: because hyung’s soundcloud alias is SUga so SHOOky

vanTAE: omg

minsuga: ……no

minsuga: lets name it cooky instead, like kookie ur name

hoeseok: call the fucking cops there’s too much romance in here

hoeseok: my single ass is feeling lonely

godofdestruction: HOLD ON A FUCKING SECOND

godofdestruction: yoongi hyung YOU’RE SUGA ON SOUNDCLOUD????

excusji me: wahts going on

godofdestruction: WTF

minsuga: yeah lol so what

leJINdary: joon no

godofdestruction: I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUT MUSIC SINCE TWO YEARS AGO WTF

godofdestruction: I THOUGHT UR CHAT NAME WAS A COINCIDENCE

vanTAE: wait u guys know each other?

godofdestruction: LIKE MAYBE YOU WERE ALSO A FAN OF SUGA????

godofdestruction: BUT I NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO ASK YOU OMG

jeon cena: ohh that’s why “suga” sounded so familiar

jeon cena: namjoon hyung literally wont shut up about ur music

godofdestruction: im knj1994

minsuga: oh hey you used to comment on my stuff

minsuga: and why would literally anyone else have their chat name as “suga” without reason

godofdestruction: NACSDJNFKOQEJBCFKJBWK

leJINdary: this is the closest i’ve ever seen namjoon fangirl

hoeseok: lol i always wondered what kind of username is “minsuga”

excusji me: is it like “minsugar” but without the R lmao

jeon cena: THAT’S SO CUTE HYUNG

minsuga: no

vanTAE: then what

minsuga: i used to play basketball in highschool and i was shooting guard so i just combined the first two syllabuses in korean

vanTAE: lame

excusji me: i cant believe???? the min yoongi famous for being lazy????? playing basketball?????????

leJINdary: is the world??? ending??????//

hoeseok: what a??///? blahsphemy??

minsuga: learn how to fucking spell dumbass

hoeseok: that attitude is uncalled for

jeon cena: i thought we were talking about dogs lol how did we get here

godofdestruction: sorry lmao

excusji me: oh yeah we were deciding what to name pets

vanTAE: i just thought of the greatest idea omg

leJINdary: unbelievable you can think????

excusji me: it’s more likely than you think

godofdestruction: jskjsjkjkjkscjskjdksjksdjskd

minsuga: can everyone STOP SAYING THAT

vanTAE: lets all change our screen names to what we’ll name our pets!!!

jeon cena: ok

hoeseok has changed his chat name to MANG.

godofdestruction has changed his chat name to koya.

jeon cena has changed his chat name to Cooky.

vanTAE has changed his chat name to TATA.

minsuga has changed his chat name to Shooky.

leJINdary has changed his chat name to RJ.

excusji me has changed his chat name to chimmy.

koya: wow real creative jimin

chimmy: stfu at least my chat name isn’t some crack ass name like MANG

Shooky: yeah whats up with that

MANG: RUDE

RJ: what does mang even mean

MANG: i took it from the Korean word for “hope” :/

Cooky: ohhh like hui-mang

TATA: wtf jungkookie knows korean???

chimmy: :0 unbelievable

Cooky: wtf is that supposed to mean

Cooky: i’m korean????

chimmy: im just surprised ur pea sized brain has the mental capacity to remember the language lol

RJ: yeah exactly :/

Cooky: wtf jimin u literally moved here the same time i did?????

Cooky: and jin hyung u came here for a longer time than me so shouldn’t u have forgotten first ?????

RJ: nonsense i am as smart as i am good looking

koya: jin wtf is “rj”

RJ: idk it’s cool

MANG: probably stands for “Rude Jin” :/

TATA: true

RJ: listen here u absolute fuck

RJ: the R is for Alpaca in korean and J is for Jin

RJ: it’s a well thought out name u dickwad

Shooky: why are u getting an alpaca

Cooky: jin hyung im pretty sure that;s illegal in this country

koya: OH SO IM NOT ALLOWED TO GET A DOG BUT YOU CAN GET A FCKING. ALPACA

koya: i love equality !!1!11!1!!!!!1

TATA: jin hyung claim ur man

chimmy: can y’all settle ur terms and conditions elsewhere

koya: what terms?? i never agreed to any terms

RJ: stfu u agreed to those terms when u asked me out

Shooky: ANYWAYS tae why is yours tata

RJ: like tartar sauce HAHAHAHAHAH

koya: literally no one else thinks ur funny hyung

MANG: dude that was so bad

Cooky: jin hyung u cant say things like that and then wonder why we don’t acknowledge u lol

Shooky: i thought seokjin hyung couldn’t get any worse

chimmy: you thought wrong :(

RJ: stfu

TATA: tata is literally is taetae without the “e”s

TATA: it’s cute right

chimmy: cute like you bby!

TATA: aw

koya: aw

Shooky: stop them.

chimmy: mind ur own business twig ass bitch

Shooky: seokjin hyung now i understand ur pain

RJ: theres no damn respect in this house smh

Chapter Text

excuji me: OH YEAH GUESS WHAT today i found out that yoongi hyung is only one (1) cm taller than me

yoonkle: fucking fight me u plebeian toenail

jeon cena: don’t listen to him hyung

jeon cena: u r smol but u r perfect

vanTAE: ew gross

hoeseok: this is disgusting and i have seen enough

hoeseok has left the group.

leJINdary: a moment of silence for our fallen brethren

crabs!: truly a tragic moment

excuji me: he will be dearly missed

jeon cena: wtf add the fucking coward back

vanTAE has added hoeseok into the group.

jeon cena: how dare u leave in the midst of my declaration of love for my yoongi hyung

hoeseok: literally no one wants to listen to ur declarations of love for your yoongi hyung

yoonkle: bitch i do

leJINdary: why don’t u go and declare ur love for ur yoongi hyung elsewhere

vanTAE: u know theres this thing called “private messaging”

crabs!: i cant believe i have to witness this mushy bullshit with my own two eyes at 9am in the morning

yoonkle: i hate u guys with every inch of my being

excuji me: that’s not a lot of inches

yoonkle has left the group.

hoeseok: that’s it jims you’ve done it

crabs!: jimin wtf ur shorter than him?????

jeon cena: hyung says hes done with u guys and to never add him back ever again

leJINdary has added yoonkle into the group.

leJINdary: lmao overdramatic piece of shit

yoonkle: bitch what

hoeseok: jin hyung calling someone else dramatic???

vanTAE: the irony lmao

leJINdary: what was that?

leJINdary: did i, mayhaps, chance upon someone giving up their share for bulgogi night?

vanTAE: hey y’all do u know i love seokjin hyung hes the best hyung anyone could ever have and hes so pretty and has amazing personality !

hoeseok: i thought i was ur favourite hyung

vanTAE: no

crabs!: so hes got u guys on a tight leash too? amazing

leJINdary: aw my tae tae baby i love you too

excuji me: o_O

jeon cena: jin hyung is one (1) scary man

hoeseok: wait a minute dude

crabs!: what

hoeseok: why is yoongi hyung’s chat name “yoonkle”

vanTAE: YOONKLE

excuji me: YOONKLE

crabs!: YOONKLE

yoonkle: and why is that any of your business

jeon cena: i thought it was cute hehe

leJINdary: wow is my lil baby jungkookie melting yoongi’s big bad scary cold dead heart uwu

jeon cena: ur damn right i am

vanTAE: uwu

hoeseok: uwu

yoonkle: jin i will literally strangle you

leJINdary: can u even reach my neck :////

excuji me: ASDFGHJKLSLSNDS

crabs!: STOP PROVOKING HIM HOE JSJSKJDKSJKJC

yoonkle: you’ve sunk low enough for me to reach it bitch

leJINdary: the fucnking audacity of this midget

hoeseok: im suddenly afraid

vanTAE: same lmao

crabs!: both of u need to calm tf down

yoonkle: at least my relationship isn’t failing

excuji me: SKJDAKJFDSKDSFJL

crabs!: FUCK

hoeseok: yoongi hyung i got mad respect for u

hoeseok: but,,,,,, can u stop provoking jin hyung

yoonkle: don’t fucking tell me what to do

jeon cena: HYUNG STOP PROVOKING JIN HYUNG

vanTAE: listen to ur boyfriend dumbass

yoonkle: no

crabs!: OUR RELATIONSHIP ISNT FAILING BITCH

crabs!: HYUNG LOVES ME AND I LOVE HIM

leJINdary: im leaving before i get disrespected further

jeon cena: MY YOONGI HYUNGIE

jeon cena: BE THE BIGGER PERSON

yoonkle: im five feet tall and bitter

yoonkle: why don’t u ask kim seokjin to be the bigger person

yoonkle: since he claims to be so tall

excuji me: literally what have i just witnessed

crabs!: is he……………………………. whining…………………

leJINdary: petty bitch

hoeseok: hyungs,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

vanTAE: i can literally never take yoongi hyung seriously ever again

yoonkle: at least i don’t blackmail my dongsaengs into doing my chores for me

leJINdary: PETTY BITCH

leJINdary: I DO NOT

excuji me: can we just establish that ur both petty and end this argument

jeon cena: stfu ur the dumbass that started this whole argument by calling my yoongles short

vanTAE: im leaving i have a 3000 word essay due tmr and i have no time for this

hoeseok: im leaving i have a 3000 ft hamster that i need to feed and i have no time for this

crabs!: im leaving i have a 3000 kg goldfish that i need to walk and i have no time for this

yoonkle: dude

crabs!: what

leJINdary: namjoon-ah u couldve at least try to make it sound believable

crabs!: oh so hoseok can have a 3000 ft hamster but somehow my 3000 kg goldfish isn’t believable

leJINdary: no but

crabs!: oh wait but no there’s more!

crabs!: so u can have an alpaca as a pet but i cant have a 3000 kg goldfish to take out on occasional walks !!!!1!!!!1!!1

leJINdary: joon why are we back on this topic

vanTAE: welp its time to leave

vanTAE has left the group.

yoonkle has left the group.

hoeseok has left the group.

excuji me has left the group.

leJINdary: bye joon i love u see u later uwu

crabs!: bitch stop avoiding my questions

leJINdary has left the group.

jeon cena: i need new friends

crabs!: i need a new boyfriend

Chapter Text

juancook: guess what siri thought yoongi hyung’s name is

yoonkle: no

yoonkle: stop right there

imyourHOPE: spill it sis

juancook: minion gay

excuji me: MINION GAY

leJINdary: MINION GAY

yoonkle: jeon jungkook ur dead to me

vanTAE: JSKDJSJKSFJSJDNCKDS

juancook: nooo

crabs!: well at least it’s accurate

imyourHOPE: OMG

leJINdary: yoongi is literally a gay minion

yoonkle  has changed his chat name to minion gay.

excuji me: JSDKJSFJKFDKSHK

vanTAE: HOLD UP WHAS GOING ON

minion gay: jeon jungkook you brat i will literally disown you

minion gay: wait till i withhold lamb skewers from u for two weeks

crabs!: lmao no u wont

excuji me: watch yoongi hyung cave in when jungkookie does his bambi eyes

juancook: ·3·

minion gay: fuck u no i wont

imyourHOPE: ha who r u trying to convince

vanTAE: hyung just admit ur soft towards jungkook lmao

minion gay has changed his chat name to yoonkle.

crabs!: INTERESTING

leJINdary: INCH RESTING 

yoonkle: what the fuck is wrong with u

excuji me: so yoongi hyung cld have changed his chat name to literally anything

vanTAE: he could’ve changed it back to “minsuga”

imyourHOPE: BUT IT’S BACK TO yoonkle

leJINdary: WILLINGLY

crabs!: uwu

excuji me: uwu

yoonkle: wHAT DO U WANT FROM ME

yoonkle: FINE

yoonkle has changed his chat name to minsuga.

minsuga: wait till i whoop all y’all asses bitches

Chapter Text

juancook: lmao losers today i was walking with hyung and this grp of freshmen literally veered 20 feet away from us wtf

juancook: like???? i sound like im exaggerating but it’s actually the Truth™

CGV: u srs bro

minsuga: hes lying

juancook: IM NOT        

excuji me: lol rmb that time yoongi hyung scowled at a group of sophomores and one girl actually tripped

CGV: OH YEAH I RMB THAT

eatJIN: wild

crabs!: oh yeah sometimes i forget that yoongi hyung is actuslly notorious on campus lol

minsuga: wtf no im not

imyourHOPE: it’s so weird when hes so SOFT when it comes to jungkookie

imyourHOPE: but then with everyone else hes like the embodiment of rage

minsuga: whom

CGV: apparently they tell ghost stories of yoongi hyung when u enter the music building

crabs!: this is true i vouch for it

juancook: u srs wtf pls inform

minsuga: whom’s’,,t’,,,,,,

excuji me: apparently when the music department gets new freshmen they tell them the seventh floor is haunted and u can see shadows moving against the windows at night

CGV: in reality it’s just yoongi hyung hogging the rooms till 3am cuz he has nowhere else to go

eatJIN: yoongs you’ve left a LEGACY

minsuga: whoms’t’ve’ed’’,,,,,,

juancook: i cant believe im dating such a MAN

imyourHOPE: APPARENTLY i heard that someone pissed off yoongi hyung during finals week 2 years ago and he deleted their entire coursework and almost got them expelled

crabs!: i heard once some girl spilt coffee on hyung and he snapped all the strings on her violin LOL

minsuga: i’ve… literally never done any of these

excuji me: apparently i heard that one time someone booked the recording studio during hyung’s self allocated slot and he got their names removed from the music programme’s priority list so they can never book rooms ever again

juancook: o-ok

minsuga: kook i swear i;ve never done any of these

CGV: i overheard this girl telling her friend that last year yoongi hyung missed school for a week and people said he went to juvie for stabbing someone but then got bailed out

minsuga: I WAS IN THE HOXPITAL

minsuga: TO REMOVE MY APPENDIX

eatJIN: I HEARD some dude once swore on his grandma’s life that yoongi hyung is secretly a underground rapper that also runs an illegal drug ring

CGV: lmao yoongi hyung an underground rapper??????

imyourHOPE: imagine yoongi hyung being all hardcore and shit

juancook: wait but hyung is literally the softest bean in the world

crabs!: are u fr

minsuga: these are all lies i swear on the life of my production equipment

CGV: are we talking abt the same yoongi hyung here

excuji me: hes only soft with jungkookie lmao

juancook: yoongi hyung’s not underground material lol

juancook: if anything hes like one of those idol groups that only does boy crush concepts

minsuga: ………no.

crabs!: this is a rlly weird mental image

imyourHOPE: erm.

CGV: lmao imagine an idol group with yoongi in it

imyourHOPE: u ever wonder what it would b like if we all went and debuted in one idol grp lol 

minsuga: no

eatJIN: thank god no

eatJIN: namjoon would probably try to name himself something dumb like “rap monster”

crabs!: HYUNG NO

juancook: RAP MONSTER

crabs!: STFU

excuji me: RAP MONSTER

crabs!: NO

CGV: if i had a rapper name it’ll be “cypher”

excuji me: my rapper name will be DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH

minsuga: i think i’ve just developed eye cancer

juancook: would u kindly tape ur thumbs together and never type that again thanks

excuji me has changed his chat name to DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH.

DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH: say that to my fucking face u dickless apple

eatJIN: call the fukin cops

imyourHOPE: dudes im gna change my chat name to my idol name

imyourHOPE has changed his chat name to J-Hope.

DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH: the rest of u cowards do it too

CGV: i cant believe this is actually happening ugh

eatJIN has changed his chat name to Worldwide Handsome.

CGV has changed his chat name to V.

minsuga has changed his chat name to Agust D.

juancook has changed his chat name to jungcock.

crabs! has changed his chat name to RM.

J-Hope: ………..is rm just short for rap monster

RM: fuck off no it isn’t

V: joon hyung is a lying liar who lies 

DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH: im sorry but wtf is jungkooks idol name

jungcock: bold of you to make judgments towards my idol name when urs is a fucking trainwreck

Agust D: kook-ah wtf is ur idol name

jungcock: it’s to appeal to my female fanbase

Worldwide Handsome: what female fanbase

Worldwide Handsome: they’d take one look at that gay face and immediately flock to me instead

RM: but ur gay too??

Worldwide Handsome: yes but have you seen this face

Worldwide Handsome: right?

Worldwide Handsome: guys

Worldwide Handsome: did u guys seriously just stop replying to me

Worldwide Handsome: ………….bitch

jungcock: anyway tae hyung i thought Cypher was ur idol name

V: no that’s my rapper name

V: theres a difference

DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH: sike u right let me change my chat name to my idol name

DOLLARCHAINSWAGGALICIOUS DAB-BITCH has changed his chat name to mochi.

Agust D: he went from 100 to 0 real quick

jungcock: why is jimin’s idol name “mochi”

mochi: why not :(

J-Hope: it’s a misconception

J-Hope: ur fans r gna think ur sweet and cute

mochi: and it’s the TRUTH

Agust D: lol who u lying to brat

V: stfu stop bullying my jiminie

jungcock: stfu stop being rude to my yoongi hyung 

V: stfu jungcock

jungcock: :(

RM: has anyone noticed both yoongi hyung and jungkook have some sort of dick reference in their idol names

Worldwide Handsome: the “D”

mochi: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

J-Hope: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Agust D: my idol name is just dt suga backwards u fucks

V: WTF DT FOR DICK TOWN

Worldwide Handsome: DICK TOWN SUGA JSKSJNSJKJKSJK

J-Hope: DICK TOWN SUGA IM HOLLERING

jungcock: i bUSTED MY LEFT LUNG JDBALKBVKF

Agust D: DAEGU TOWN U MOTHERFUCKERS IM FROM DAEGU

jungcock: right

V: right that’s absolutely what i was thinking

Worldwide Handsome: lmao a liar

Agust D: .

Agust D: i regret everything

jungcock: :(

Agust D: except u kook-ah

jungcock: :)

RM: im leaving the fucking chat

jungcock: excuse me just because u and jin hyung’s relationship is failing doesn’t mean u can be rude to us

mochi: did he just

Worldwide Handsome: did u just

V: oh no

J-Hope: oh no

Worldwide Handsome: JEON FUCKING JUNGKOOK DID I FUCKING RAISE YOU TO BE SUCH A RUDE FUCKNUT PIECE OF SHIT SMH I CANT BELIEVE THIS BULLSHIT FUCKERY HOW DARE YOU BE RUDE TO YOUR ELDERS?

jungcock: hyung

Worldwide Handsome: THAT’S IT IM SO FUKCIGN SICK AND TIRED OF BEING DISRESPECTED ISTG

RM: babe no

jungcock: hyung pls

Worldwide Handsome: ONE DAY I WILL PACK MY SHIT AND LEAVE ADN SEE HIW LOGN YO U SURVIVE WITHOUT ME BIGTCH

mochi: i think jin hyung’s lost it

Agust D: ……..is he ok

J-Hope: dw this happens at least twice a week

V: this seems more intense than the usual tho

mochi: jungkook u rlly did it

mochi: we’ve lost him but at what cost

jungcock: JIN HYUNG IM SORRY I WILL VACUUM UR FLOOR FOR 2 WEEKS STRAIGHT :(

Worldwide Handsome: ok deal!!!

Worldwide Handsome: whats up gays

Agust D: ?????????/ what

RM: guys*

J-Hope: its not like theres a difference lmao

mochi: HAHAHHSAHSAH

RM: lmao hoseok u right

J-Hope: thanks i get called that a lot

jungcock: what? right?

J-Hope: no, hoseok

Agust D: im sorry but did jin just turn a complete 180 degrees

jungcock: is2g he just wanted someone to vacuum the floor for him

V: don’t worry lmao whenever jin hyung wants something done he pulls this reverse psychology bullshit

Worldwide Handsome: i do not u jackass

mochi: basically the moral of the story is don’t get on jin hyung;s bad side

jungcock: hes the real demon lmao

Worldwide Handsome: bitch what did u just call me

jungcock: nothing hyung ◉‿◉

jungcock: ur the best hyung! sweet beautiful hyung!!!!!! :D

Worldwide Handsome: that’s what i thought bitch

Chapter Text

junglebook: UH

junglebook: IS ANYONE ALIVE

junglebook: GAYS

junglebook: PL S SAVE ME

minsuga: kook-ah?

RYANhoe: whats going on

imyourHOPE: ????

eatJIN: the last time he was this panicked was when he punched yoongi in the face

minsuga: wow really?

junglebook: I LEFT MY THESIS IN MY DORM ROOM

diminie: what thesis????

CGV: the graded one ???????

diminie: NO FUCKING WAY

diminie: u mean the one that u spent a good 2 months crying about

CGV: u mean the one that u spent a good 3 months staying in the labs past 9pm for

junglebook: YES

RYANhoe: and u left it in ur dorm room

junglebook: JSAKFDJLSHAL I KNOW IM AN IDIOT BUT

junglebook: IT’S DUE TODAY AT 12PM

junglebook: CAN ANYONE GET IT FOR ME

junglebook: I GET OUT OF LECTURE AT 9 BUT I HAVE ANOTHER CLASS TO GO FOR

junglebook: PLEASE IM DESPERATEHKJDSAJHLKGH

minsuga: kook-ah?

minsuga: i got it

minsuga: i’ll be outside ur hall at 9am

junglebook: hyung i will jump in front of a moving car for you

minsuga: dont even try

diminie: dude

diminie: you would jump in front of a moving car for fun

junglebook: bitch stop ruining the moment

eatJIN: wait wtf it’s 8.30am on a monday morning and yoongs is awake??????

imyourHOPE: unbelievable

minsuga: whats ur point

minsuga: all of u losers are awake too??

minsuga: why am i any different

diminie: are u rlly asking us that

CGV: hyung u literally would sleep for 48 hours if left unattended

minsuga: no i wouldn’t

imyourHOPE: that’s a lie

RYANhoe: one time u ignored all of us for a good 27 hours and we all thought u were dead

eatJIN: i was ready to host a funeral and everything

CGV: we had to find out from jungkookie that u were just hibernating

minsuga: ……………brats

junglebook: stfu the only reason why hyung sleeps so much is because hes always working hard

junglebook: he deserves all the rest he can get in the world

junglebook: stop insulting him and implying that hes lazy when in reality he works harder than all y’alls asses combined and is always sleep deprived from staying till 3am working his ass off everyday

RYANhoe: jesus christ

diminie: i’m–

CGV: wow i wasn’t rlly expecting that

imyourHOPE: we’re sorry it was meant to be a joke :(

eatJIN: yoongi-yah we know you work so much harder than all of us

diminie: yoongi hyung we all love and appreciate u :(

RYANhoe: hyung don’t take us seriously pls

eatJIN: yoongi??

imyourHOPE: yoongs wru

CGV: where he go

junglebook: FUCK SKDKSJDKSSJXKKDJDKSK

junglebook: HYUNG READ THE CHATS BUT NOW HES CRYING OUTSIDE MY LECTURE HALL

junglebook: my lecture ends in 2 mins and i cant go and comfort him!!!!

junglebook: what do i do wtf

junglebook: I CAN SEE HIM RUBBING HIS FACE FROM MY SEAT DO I RUN OUT OF LECTURE

CGV: he did what now

imyourHOPE: YOONGI HYUNG….. CRHYING?????????

eatJIN: HAS THE DAY FINALLY COME

diminie: is hyung finally showing hUMAN EMOTIONS

minsuga: stfu im not crying

junglebook: HYUNG DON’T WORRY MY LECTURE ENDS IN 45 SECONDS

diminie: wtf jungkook naruto-sprinted out the hall the second the bell rang

CGV: how do u know this lmao

diminie: someone live tweeted the entire thing

eatJIN: he just wants to get to his yoongi uwu :(

RYANhoe: hyung u never showed me this much affection in the entirety of our relationship combined

imyourHOPE: jin hyung what do u have to say for urself

eatJIN: im–

CGV: jimin ge t the popcorn

diminie: got it

eatJIN: namjoonie we’ve been together three years now

RYANhoe: yeah hyung

eatJIN: you know i don’t mean any of those things i say right

eatJIN: it’s just a joke that comes with the familiarity of being together for so long

eatJIN: i love you more everyday joonie

eatJIN: if you would rather i stop then i would in a heartbeat for you baby

RYANhoe: S-SHUT UP

RYANhoe: I CANT BELIEVE I LOVE U SO MUCH

RYANhoe: it’s okay bby i just get insecure sometimes yknow

eatJIN: <3

RYANhoe: <3

CGV: what THE FUCK

diminie: tae is crying in his popcorn

imyourHOPE: im crying so hard i cant see properly

imyourHOPE: also if u and tae start this mushy shit i will literally delete my existence

diminie: tae baby you know i love you right

CGV: omg my chimchim mochi my precious sugarplum my gentle soft bean and the light of my life

imyourHOPE  has left the group.

CGV: u think we went overboard

diminie: no shit sherlock what the fuck was “chimchim mochi my precious sugarplum my gentle soft bean and the light of my life”

Chapter Text

diminie: happy graduation day hyungs!!!!!!!! 

CGV: ur free!!!

wwhandsome: FUCKING FINALLY

wwhandsome: NO MORE 6 AM MORNINGS

wwhandsome: MY SKIN IS CLEARED

wwhandsome: MY CROPS ARE WATERED

RYANhoe: yoongi hyung what r ur thoughts 

minsuga: i have no thoughts

junglebook: hes sulking cus his dumbass went and decided to become a TA for digital mix

junglebook: which is an 8am class :-)))))

junglebook: every monday morning :-)))))))))))

jdOPE: for why

CGV: …………………..why

minsuga: i am filled with self-loathing

wwhandsome: i am filled with confidence™ and beauty™

diminie: u ever want to just,,,, bitch slap a certain individual

wwhandsome: stfu jimin ur just jealous

minsuga: i cant believe im doing this to myself why didn’t anyone STOP ME

minsuga: am i a masochist??

junglebook: to be fair, i did tell u not to do it

CGV: hyung,,

minsuga: dO I ENJOY MAKING MYSELF SUFFER

diminie: hyung,,,,,,,,

RYANhoe: is he ok

jdOPE: u sound stressed

minsuga: thanks it’s the stress

CGV: on the bright side u get to leech off the dorms for two more years

minsuga: ““““““““oN tHe BrIGhT sIdE””””””””

wwhandsome: what have u done

junglebook: he fucking terminated his dorm lease lol

diminie: he did the what now

minsuga: it’s true im an idiot

jdOPE: min yoongi admitting hes an idiot??????

wwhandsome: is the world ending

RYANhoe: i never thought i would live to see the day

CGV: yoongi hyung admitting his idiocy?

CGV: it’s more likely than u think

RYANhoe has removed CGV from the group.

junglebook: JSKDJSKJKKSJJSDJDKJ

jdOPE: joonie really doing the lord’s work

diminie: add my fucking boyfriend back u limp noodleheads

RYANhoe: my work here is done

wwhandsome: ur doing amazing sweetie

diminie  has added CGV to the group.

minsuga: damn i cant even have 10 seconds of peace and quiet

CGV: top 10 anime betrayals

diminie: cant trust anyone in this house smh

CGV: jimin is the only one i trust the rest of y’all are all SNAKES

wwhandsome: hiss hiss motherfucker

CGV: oh look it’s jin hyung showing his true colours

junglebook: oh no

jdOPE: oh no

wwhandsome: did I have a brain error for a second or did I just hear him say

RYANhoe: jinnie it’s okay babe

minsuga: deep breaths

wwhandsome: how dARE

jdOPE: ok guys let’s just be calm for 10 seconds

junglebook: BEE CALM

diminie: BEE

RYANhoe: no.

minsuga: hOLD UP I SEE HIM TYPING

jdOPE: STOP RIGHT THERE

CGV: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway, because bees don't care what humans think is impossible

jdOPE has left the group.

CGV: Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Oan you believe this is happening? I can’t. I’ll pick you up.

RYANhoe  has left the group.

minsuga  has left the group .

CGV: Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I’m excited. Here’s the graduate. We’re very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B’s. Very proud.

wwhandsome has left the group.

junglebook: natural selection weeding out the weak :(

diminie: all that remains is the superior race :(

CGV: :(

Chapter Text

junglebook: SKSDJSDKJDSJSKSHDSK

junglebook: GUYS

junglebook: GUYS PLEATHE

junglebook: I NEED ASSITANC E ASA.P

hosuck: sigh

RYANhoe: what is it now

wwhandsome: the last time he was this excited in a gc was when he forgot his thesis

wwhandsome: and then the time before that was when he straight up decked yoongi in the face

junglebook: IM CRYINJHG ITS RLLY SERIOUS THIS TIME

gucciMIN: what happened :( kookie

hosuck: what happened

gucciTAE: DID SOEONE HURT MY KOOKIE

junglebook: YE SS HFDJGKYJFLDT

wwhandsome: spill

wwhandsome: who do i need to fight

RYANhoe: jin hyung will fuck him up

gucciMIN: WHO IS IT I WILL LITERALLY SPILL BLOOD

gucciTAE: hes speaking the truth i’ve never seen jimin so angry

junglebook: IDWLDVNLFBEGWT

junglebook: ITS HYUNGGG

hosuck: hyung???

RYANhoe: hold up wtf yoongi hyung????

wwhandsome: WHAT THDWFUCK

gucciTAE: why wld yoongi hyung hurt u?????????

gucciMIN: WHAT HAS THTAA FUCKER DONE

wwhandsome: MIN YTOOGNI I FUCKIGT TRUSTED YOU TO DATE MY BABY

yoonkle: what

gucciTAE: yoongi hyung fucking explain urself

RYANhoe: DID U BREAK KOOKIE’S HEART IS2G

hosuck: min yoongi i cant believe u have the audacity to break kookie’s heart and then show up and be like “what”

gucciMIN: MIN YOONGI DO U WANT TO DIE TODAY

junglebook: NO HE DIDN’T BREAK MY HEART WTF HYUNGS CAN U CALM UR SHIT

gucciMIN: oh

wwhandsome: oh

hosuck: oh

RYANhoe: wait then why are you crying

junglebook: HYUNG ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH HIM CUS MY DORM LEASE IS EXPIRING AND HE RENTED A NEW APARTMENT ANYWAY ACSDJKLBLBFLKSAV

junglebook: AND HE TOLD ME HE LOVES ME IMCRYIGN

gucciTAE: O-oh

gucciMIN: oh

hosuck: oh

wwhandsome: oh

yoonkle: that’s right bitches

RYANhoe: WTF THAT’S SO CUTE

wwhandsome: literally why does this warrant any tears u dumbfuck

junglebook: IM CRYING BECAUSE I LOVE HYUNG TOO I CANT BELIEVE IM SO LUCKY TO HAVE HYUNG IN MY LIFE

hosuck: mayhaps,,,, have you thought of telling him this yourself?

RYANhoe: instead of like, you know, spamming all of us in this group chat

junglebook: SHFWHQQFBJWVL JBWLRH

gucciMIN: fr tho OMG THAT’S SO CUTE

gucciTAE: @jim this cld be us but u playin

gucciMIN: what the hell u son of a bitch i literally just pounded ur gay ass 5 mins ago

junglebook: shut the fuck up in this household we only worship yoonkook

wwhandsome: that’s gay

junglebook: yes

hosuck: 

yoonkle: jin hyung you’re literally gay too wtf

gucciTAE: wbk

junglebook: omg WAIT

RYANhoe: what now

junglebook: I NEED ADVICE WHAT DO I DO NOW

yoonkle: kook-ah u realize im in this group too

gucciMIN: jungkook my bbfl

gucciMIN: my bestest bro for life

gucciMIN: my platonic soulmate and other half

gucciMIN: my bro through thick and thin

junglebook: yes bro

hosuck: anyone feeling like we’re intruding?

gucciTAE: stfu we’re about to watch the bro mating dance

gucciMIN: im about to offer some real solid advice bro

junglebook: go on bro

gucciMIN: u with me bro

junglebook: always with you bro

gucciMIN: u sure bro

junglebook: always sure bro

gucciMIN: ARE U FUCKING DUMB OR WHAT JUST SAY YES TO YOONGI HYUNG SMH

wwhandsome: what jimbo said

hosuck: what jimbro said but with less aggression

junglebook: o-oh

yoonkle: so? baby?

junglebook: omg YES HYUNG

yoonkle: that’s great kook

gucciTAE: did yoongi hyung just type “that’s great kook” with his whole chest as if he isn’t breaking down into tears rn

RYANhoe: HA i knew it

yoonkle: no im not

yoonkle: shut up

junglebook: hyung i love u (๑✧◡✧๑)

yoonkle: ah

wwhandsome: what the fuck jungkookie just confessed HIS LOVE FOR YOONGI

hosuck: and ALL HE HAD TO SAY IS “ah”

junglebook: hyuunnnnnggggggg :(

yoonkle: …….im not saying it here

junglebook: pls hyungie (๑✧◡✧๑) (๑✧◡✧๑) (๑✧◡✧๑)

yoonkle: sigh

yoonkle: i love you too, jeon jungkook

RYANhoe: pls leave ur making jin cry

wwhandsome: whats this fuzzinesss…… the sudden aCHE in my chest

hosuck: u had five cups of instant ramen yesterday

hosuck: it’s indigestion u dramatic asswipe

gucciTAE: @jim, again, this cld be us but u playin

gucciMIN: stfu bitch we literally live together and have gay sex everyday what more could u want

gucciMIN: AND WE HAVE MATCHING COUPLE CHAT NAMES

RYANhoe: im leaving

hosuck: literally stfu about the gay sex

gucciMIN: DO YOONGI HYUNG AND JUNGKOOKIE HAVE MATCHING CHAT NAMES

gucciMIN: no they don’t

gucciMIN: so whos the superior couple now

gucciMIN: is everyone fucking ignoring me