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caught up in the trivial

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You should see Dad right now

Shouto looks at the text, turns back to his assignment, then back to his phone, and sure enough, his sister had actually typed those words out for his eyes to see.

No, he texts back.

His phone pings before he can set it down.

Don’t be dramatic
He’s so mad
Ranting about millennials and birds
You saw the JP Hero Billboard chart, right?

(Shouto honestly doesn’t think anyone with functioning eyes hadn’t seen it, especially anyone with aspirations to become a hero. All of class 1-A had watched it with the Pussycats earlier, and Midoriya had whipped out a notebook that Shouto had never seen before and started frantically taking notes. Shouto was interested enough, but he hadn’t been particularly interested in seeing Endeavor get exactly what he didn’t deserve, so it wasn’t until Hawks had started stirring up trouble that he’d really given the screen any serious attention.

He'd been all for watching Hawks verbally eviscerate Endeavor on stage, but then Endeavor had bounced back, fierce determination in his eyes and declared, “Just watch me,” and those few moments hadn't been worth it.

“So cool,” Kaminari had whispered and Shouto hates that a small part of him had agreed.)

His phone rings before he can reply.

“Hello?”

“Apparently, Hawks took Dad to lunch,” Fuyumi says instead of a proper hello.

Shouto raises an eyebrow and she laughs like she can see it through the phone.

“I know, who would do that?” Her voice drops a little, and Shouto sits straighter in his seat at her tone. “Did you hear they defeated a Nomu?”

He hadn’t, but he makes a mental note to ask Midoriya about it later.

“They work well together, clearly,” Fuyumi says, “but he keeps saying that ‘If he ever sees that brat again, it’ll be too soon.’” She’s back to playful, and her statement is pointed enough that he understands immediately.

“Well, if the public wants them to team up, it’s not like the Number One Hero can deny them,” Shouto pretends to muse as he opens a new tab on his computer.

In hindsight, maybe retweeting a blurry paparazzi photo of Endeavor and Hawks getting lunch together wasn’t his most subtle move.

It is, however, incredibly effective.

Midoriya isn’t the only hero super fan out there, so even though the news of the Nomu attack is kept under wraps so that there isn’t widespread panic, enough people hear the rumors that there’s a sudden tidal wave of support for a publicized Endeavor/Hawks team up.

His sister informs him gleefully on Endeavor’s increasing exasperation about the whole thing, skulking about the grounds more than usual and singeing the doorways.

It’d all been hilarious enough as it was, and then she had sent him a YouTube video compilation of everyone that had actually believed that his tweet was confirmation of an actual lunch date and it gets even better.

“I’m just excited to finally see some representation, you know?” a girl with three eyes says into the camera. “I mean, you never see any gay heroes, and one that is poly at that? What a time to be alive.”

“Endeavor is inspiring a whole new generation in a way I couldn’t,” a teary All-Might is saying (and Shouto thinks he might just be changing his face instead of his entire body, which he didn’t even know was possible, but lo and behold). “I have never been more proud of him.”

“I was kind of scared of Endeavor,” a little boy says, clutching the fabric of his mom’s skirt. “B-but Hawks is really nice! He always waves at me and lets me touch his feathers. So, um, so Endeavor can’t be that scary if Hawks likes him.”

“Hm?” Shouto’s own mother says, eyes focused outside the window in her hospital room. “Oh, yes, Hawks is a wonderful young man. I think he makes Enji better.”

“No comment,” Endeavor snaps.

“We just get along really well,” Hawks says, and his voice is casual, but his eyes are gleaming with amusement. “Sometimes it’s hard for heroes to put the job down, you know? He’s grumpy for sure—a little tense—but I’m pretty good at getting him to, ah, loosen up.”

It wasn't something that Shouto had expected when he’d tried to stir up some unwanted attention Endeavor’s way, but he looks at the three second clip of his father’s enraged face and congratulates himself on a job well done.

Then, the Photo comes out.

He doesn’t even feel dramatic thinking about it with a capital letter, because it’s all anyone can talk about for weeks and Shouto can appreciate the humor in it all, but he’s starting to think that people aren’t thinking it's funny at all.

“They’re soooo sweet together,” Mina gushes, crowding around Momo’s phone. “Look at his face!”

Shouto knows the face, because he’s seen the photo about five hundred times too many at this point. He doesn’t know what had led up to the moment of the photo; he can only assume it’d been some kind of fluke rescue where Hawks was knocked back by a villain right into Endeavor’s arms. Then—and here’s where Shouto has no explanation, because it lacks all common sense—Hawks had apparently wrapped his arms around Endeavor’s neck, situated himself comfortably in Endeavor’s arms, and leaned up to kiss his cheek. Endeavor's face had been slack with surprise, familiar and constant scowl nowhere to be seen, and Shouto realizes it's an expression that he’s never seen before.

And maybe the amount of attention on the whole thing is Shouto’s fault really. Because he’d taken one look at the photo, felt even more annoyance at his father's existence than usual, and tweeted out: @endeavorofficial should we expect him at breakfast? regardless of the fact that he doesn’t live there anymore.

Not everyone had picked up on the crude connotations, but it had garnered the attention of celebrity media outlets and suddenly Shouto started seeing articles everywhere with titles of varying degrees of ridiculousness. His personal favorite had been Hot Romance or Bird Brained Stunt? and in a moment of what he's come to realize was pure insanity, he'd liked their e-version of it on Twitter.

Admittedly, he can only blame himself for how out of hand it gets.

People are suddenly messaging him on Twitter, asking him for pictures or details of them kissing, which he can’t do while living at the dorms and wouldn’t do anyway, (because gross that is his father) especially not when their requests get more and more bold.

He locks his account after he does an actual spit take all over Iida’s face at lunch once he clicks on the link of a message entitled, Is Endeavor a Bad Boy?, that had turned out to be sexually explicit fanart.

But it’s like suddenly he can’t escape it, and he’s overhearing a conversation between Jiro and Hagakure about it at lunch that goes something like:

“Unh, the size difference though. Thinking about it gets me so hot.”

“It’s alright,” Jiro says nonchalantly, but she’s blushing bright pink. “Hawks does fit into Endeavor’s arms really nicely though…”

“I bet he fits on his dick bet—”

Or:

Tetsutetsu and Kendo stop him in the hallway and they ask him to his face, “What does Endeavor wear to bed?”

“Um,” Shouto stammers.

“It’s for my fanfiction,” Tetsutetsu says, absolutely shameless, and Shouto wants to set himself on fire.

“And I’m coordinating a doujin with some other members of class 1-B,” Kendo adds. “I, ah,” she blushes and tucks a bit of hair behind her ear, “I want it to be factually accurate.”

Or (and this one is a betrayal, truly):

Midoriya shuffles close to him in the lounge area, clutching his notebook to his chest and says, "T-Todoroki-kun? Can you please tell me as much as you can about Hawks' powers? He'd stayed mostly out of the spotlight in the past and so I don't have many notes on him, but he's been teaming up with Endeavor so often that a better understanding of how he uses his quirk would really help my analysis-"

"Why're you asking me?" Shouto sighs.

Midoriya blinks at him. "He's going to be your stepdad someday, isn't he?" he asks, completely serious.

True regret, he thinks, can never be learned unless through experience.

He’s finally met rock bottom, Shouto realizes, as he stares down Endeavor’s glower in his office.

He feels like he hasn’t slept in days, always on edge for some kind of unsolicited image or overly ambitious fan. It’s not fair that Endeavor looks slightly less murderous than usual.

“How do I make it stop?”

It says volumes about the state of their lives right now that Endeavor doesn’t ask for clarification.

“You don’t,” Endeavor says. “We’re public figures, Shouto, attention doesn’t go away unless we do.” Endeavor sits back in his chair and crosses his arms. “Let this be a lesson for you, Shouto. Whatever you put out into the public is for them to decide what to do with. Expect it to happen to you and your associates once you become a pro-hero.”

Shouto thinks he can feel his soul try to leave his body.

Shouto wakes up to about three hundred notifications on his phone.

It’s early, he’s tired, and his phone won’t stop chirping at him, so when he opens it to see what has everyone in a fuss, he’s not quite aware that he’s opening a Twitter link until it’s already done.

He loathes Twitter.

It’s a selfie of Hawks, hair sleep-mussed, and sleepy-eyed, but dripping with so much smug contentment that Shouto can practically feel it through the phone. His eyeliner is smudged, and it’s unfair really, how good looking a person can be while also being an absolute mess. He’s naked, or at least partially, because his chest is bare and he’s flashing a peace sign at the camera and—here’s where Shouto’s brain really stutters to a stop—he’s reclined against the absolutely massive chest of someone whose face is out of frame, and only an idiot would miss the vibrant red shocks of the man’s chest hair against Hawks’ pale skin.

Shouto already wants to throw his phone as far from himself as possible, and maybe also see if Kirishima would hit him hard enough to give him a concussion so that he can forget that this cursed image even exists.

He reads the caption.

@todorokishouto see you at breakfast ;)