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Three's a crowd

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“Kurt, stop!” Diane giggled as he danced his lips down her throat, his hips grinding into hers as his hand snuck under her silk top to cup her breast. She groaned, throwing her head back into the cushions of the couch as his skilful digits teased her. “I’m trying to watch the movie!” she groaned, her fingers threading through his hair as she used it to pull his mouth from her neck. “Later,” she promised eyeing him seriously.

Kurt raised his eyebrows; swiping his thumb across an erect nipple and making her bite her bottom lip.

"Ahhh," she whimpered, her hips bucking up into his.

“You sure you want me to stop?” he asked with a smug grin, dipping his lips down to capture hers in a slow, seductive kiss. Diane moaned into his mouth, her tongue twirling with his as she momentarily lost herself to the sensation.

“Stop,” she groaned pulling away, her eyes shut tightly as she held him away from her. “I really want to watch!” she whined, blinking her eyes open meaningfully. Kurt frowned sadly, sticking out his bottom lip in a childish pout and Diane couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her lips, this man.

Kurt’s hand continued to expertly massage her breast, his thumb pricking across her nipple repeatedly and purposefully. Diane whimpered, turning her head to look longingly at the television screen. Kurt’s lips dipped back to her throat, his moustache tickling her skin as he pressed playful kisses there.

“It’s almost finished,” she tried, shying away from his touch and stifling another giggle. Kurt dropped his head exaggeratedly into the space above her shoulder, huffing out a large breath of air.

Diane’s attention drifted back to the movie, her smile growing as the characters on screen confessed their love.

“You don’t even have to move,” Kurt offered lifting his head above hers; catching her blue eyes. Diane’s eyebrow rose incredulously, a smirk tugging on her lips. “You keep watching and I’ll be quick.”

Diane threw her head back in a loud laugh, her eyes twinkling as she met his amused smirk. Before she could reply, Kurt struck again; his dexterous fingers beneath her pyjama top tweaked a nipple, his lips pressing soft kisses to her exposed torso.

“Stop,” she giggled playfully, as she squirmed beneath him.

“Wiggling like that isn’t helping your case,” he murmured against her soft skin, thrusting his hips into hers so Diane could feel the beginnings of his arousal.

“Kurt!” she gasped, the smile on her face and her chuckling only spurring him on. “You’re insatiable!”

Kurt lifted his head at that, grinning down at her.

“Only for you baby,” he joked in a smooth tone, his eyebrows bouncing suggestively. Diane cackled at that, biting her bottom lip as she tilted her head backwards in amusement.

She was just about to call him out for the use of such a blatant line, when her doorbell chimed. Diane frowned and Kurt pulled up, lifting his body higher off hers as the pair’s eyes darted to the front door.

“Expecting someone?” he asked still glancing over his shoulder at the entrance to her house.

“It’s almost midnight," Diane replied; answering his question as the bell rang again. Her hands found their way to his chest, trying to get him to sit up.

“Just leave it,” Kurt whined, looking down at her with a childish pout. Diane shook her head giggling again, pushing him off her and swinging her legs over the couch. Grabbing the remote she hit pause, casting a pointed smirk over her shoulder and catching Kurt rolling his eyes.

With a laugh she stood and walked to the door, opening the latch and unlocking it. A large grin was still in place on her lips as she tried not to giggle at Kurt’s grumpy antics. Pulling back the heavy oak, the smile fell from her lips; her eyes widening.

“Will!” she gasped, tugging at her silk robe and trying to fasten it together to hide her skimpy pyjamas. Will smiled sheepishly, looking her dead in the eye in a clear attempt to avoid seeing her state of undress.

“Hi,” he offered with a casual shrug, as if it was commonplace for him to show up on her doorstep in the middle of the night. Diane’s hands pulled at the silky nightgown tightly, mortifyingly aware of it’s length and her exposed legs.

“What are you doing here?” she asked in surprise, her eyes dipping to the gym bag in his hand.

“Looking for a place to crash actually,” he said with a grimace. Diane cocked her head to the side, leaning on the door and making sure he couldn’t see in fully. “There was a fire in my apartment block,” he began and Diane’s eyes widened.

“Oh my God!” she gasped, stepping forward in alarm, wrapping him into a hug. “Are you okay?” she questioned as she pulled back, her hands still resting on his shoulders; smoothing over his shirt in an attempt to assure herself he wasn’t hurt.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. It was on the second floor – nowhere near me, but the fire department evacuated the building for the night, just to be safe.” He explained, his heart warming at the concern on her face.

“Oh my, that’s awful!”

“Yeah, I was gonna try for a hotel, but it’s late and you know how I hate them, so I thought I’d see if I could stay in your guest room for the night?” he asked with a sheepish smile, his green eyes hopeful as they met her blue.

“Oh,” Diane gasped, clearly taken aback. With a quick glance to Kurt over her shoulder, she weighed her options. Will watched her reaction, his brow furrowing as he took her uncertainty as a no.

“If it’s too much of an inconvenience…” he began, turning his body to leave and indicating with his hand that he could go elsewhere. Diane let out a soft sigh, shaking her head with a kind smile.

“No, no of course you can stay,” she replied, her heart thundering against her chest as she accepted what was about to happen. “Come in,” she said with more confidence than she felt.

Will grinned widely, stepping into her home and dropping his bag to the floor as he shrugged off his coat.

“Thank you, you’re a lifesave-“ his sentence was cut off as he glanced at her couch, his long coat hanging half off one arm as he stared. “Oh,” he exclaimed, unable to hide his surprise.

Diane shuffled awkwardly on her bare feet, glancing between the two men.

“Will,” she began with a nervous edge to her voice. “You know Kurt,” she offered and the men greeted each other with varying gruff hellos.

Will spun to face her again.

“I didn’t realise you had... company,” he said in a hushed tone, his surprise still etched onto his features. “I should go-“

“Nonsense!” Diane cut him off, pulling on his coat to remove it properly. “There’s plenty of room.” Will glanced warily between the others, unsure of his welcome. Diane hung his coat on the rack, before awkwardly coming to stand beside Will again.

She could feel her face flushing. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on. Kurt in his grey sweatpants and white shirt, her barely-there pyjamas, the wine glasses, the romantic lighting. Will obviously knew what had been happening before his interruption, but it didn’t make it any less awkward.

“Let me show you to your room,” she offered if only to break the deafening silence that had fallen among them.

“Thanks,” Will replied, picking up his bag and nodding to Kurt. “Goodnight,”

“Goodnight,” Kurt replied shortly, still standing in his spot by the couch.

“Could you lock up?” Diane asked softly as she walked by him, her meaning clear, they were retreating to her room to hide. Kurt smirked beneath his moustache, his amusement, although hidden to Will, very apparent to her. Her eyes widened pointedly as she passed him and led Will down the corridor. Casting a glance over her shoulder, she watched as Kurt chuckled to himself, flicking off the TV and gathering their empty glasses. She scoffed internally, knowing Kurt was thrilled they wouldn’t be finishing the film.

“Here you go,” she smiled as she opened the door to her guest room, showing Will in. “Towels are in the top drawer and you know where the bathroom is.” Will threw his gym bag onto the bed, turning to her. His hazel eyes met her blue and she could tell he was barely able to keep from interrogating her.

“I can really find a hotel,” he repeated, but both knew his offer was more for show than anything else. Diane rolled her eyes, stepping into the room and closing the door slightly.

“Spit it out, Will. Before it gags you.” she said seriously, folding her arms across her chest pointedly as she awaited the mocking. Will chuckled lowly, shaking his head as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“You and McVeigh, huh?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and Diane let out a scoff of a laugh; rolling her eyes, as if that awkward exchange in her living room wasn’t confirmation enough.

“Yeah,” she said with an amused grin. “Me and McVeigh.”

“Our ballistics expert,”

“I’m aware of his job title, Will.” she replied blandly, preparing for the next teasing remark. She’d known Will for years and could almost predict his next words.

“He’s a right-wing, gun-slinging republican,” he responded pushing her.

“Yes, and he screws like one too,” she fired back hotly, her sarcasm pointed and her eyes viciously dark. Will bit back a smirk at her snarky reply, knowing from her tone alone she wasn’t going to take his mocking sitting down. Mulling over his next words carefully, he decided not to tease her any further, after all he wouldn’t put it passed her to kick him out for making fun of her boyfriend.

“How long?”

“A couple months,” she responded and Will’s eyes widened at that, making Diane smirk. He wasn’t the only one who had a love life.

“I’m happy for you,” he smiled after a long beat of silence and Diane’s eyes thinned.

“Really?” she asked incredulously.

“Yeah really!” Will replied with a chuckle. Diane laughed along with him, the tension falling from her body in a puff of air. Both partners clearly seeing the humour in their current situation.

“Okay then, thank you,” she replied genuinely, meeting his eyes earnestly. She knew Kurt wasn’t Will’s favourite topic – it had been months since the Bianca Price trial, but she knew he still held a grudge for that and so it was a great feat he’d handled this all so well, teasing aside. “I’ll see you in the morning.” she finally said after a another awkward silence and Will nodded in agreement.

“Goodnight, Diane.”

“’Night, Will.”

Stepping into the hallway, Diane closed his door with a click. With a quick glance back in the direction of the lounge she noted all the lights were out and moved to the room opposite Will’s. Pushing through the door she found Kurt lying on her bed, his back propped up on the headboard as he flipped through one of her novels.

“Will all tucked in?” he mocked with a grin, tossing the book onto the side table. Diane shot him a dark look, a smirk sliding into place on her lips as she let the door shut, resting her back against it and taking him in greedily.

“Yes,” she sassed back. “Just gave him his goodnight kiss.”

Kurt chuckled lowly at her comeback, watching her intently as she untied her gown and slid the silky material off to uncover equally silky shorts and spaghetti shirt set. His eyes immediately darkened as she strolled through the room, flicking out lights as she went, until, finally, only their bedside lamps coloured the room.

Folding back the covers she smiled at Kurt, climbing onto the bed and scooting closer to him.

“Is it time for my goodnight kiss?” he flirted lowly, his dark gaze locked on her mouth. Diane licked her lips before leaning over and kissing him soundly; her hand curving around his cheek. Her tongue slid against his, tangling and twisting as their embrace deepened. Diane moaned as Kurt rolled them over, his body coming to rest atop hers as they continued to kiss.

Pulling back breathlessly, Kurt looked down at Diane.

“You better not have kissed Will goodnight like that,” he said meaningfully and Diane smiled; biting into her bottom lip.

“No,” she whispered, staring up at him dreamily. Kurt grinned back, dipping his head to kiss her again, his hands sliding down the sides of her body, cupping her breasts. Diane groaned as he pulled away from her mouth, moving to place slow, wet kisses down her throat. His teeth scraped her flushed skin as his hands tugged on the flimsy material of her shirt; inching it up.

“No,” Diane gasped, her hands coming up to his chest and pushing him away. Kurt pulled back with a confused look, his hands frozen on the skin of her abdomen. “What are you doing?” she asked and Kurt let out a chuckle, sliding his hand further up and cupping a breast with a dashing smirk.

“What do you think?” he questioned lowly, raising his eyebrows suggestively. Diane laughed shaking her head as her hand curled around his, pulling it out from under her shirt. Shifting so she was sitting, she met Kurt’s frown.

“We’re not screwing with my partner across the hall!” she said seriously, her incredulity splashed across her features.

“Why not?” Kurt replied with a confused look on his face.

“Because!” she hissed back, shuffling away from him. “He could hear!”

“Well you’ll just have to be quiet then…” Kurt trailed off sexily, moving toward her and looping a hand around her waist.

“Kurt, no!” she shrieked in a hushed laugh, trying to stop his advances, her hand placed firmly against his chest. His frown was deep as he cocked his head to the side, looking at her.

"Come on," he pleaded like a little boy denied dessert. "It's not like we haven't done it in your office while he was there!" he reminded, dipping his lips to press kisses to her shoulder, pulling at the delicate strap of her shirt with his teeth.

"Yes, behind my bathroom door and a reception area! It was different!" she replied, her head falling back against the headboard as she gulped; enjoying the sensations he was creating. It wasn't that she didn't want to, quite the opposite. Kurt had been away the last few days and although it was hardly a record for them, she still wanted him terribly.

Kurt’s mouth drifted up her throat, his teeth tugging on her earlobe and making her groan.

“Please stop,” she begged breathily, her head tilting toward his mouth. Kurt smirked, his hand falling to her stomach, lifting the hem of her shirt and splaying his fingers across her smooth skin.

Diane gasped biting her bottom lip and curling into his hand unintentually.

“No, no!” she moaned, pushing away from him and scooting more onto her side of the bed. Kurt groaned defeatedly. Rolling onto his back he stared up at the ceiling. Diane turned onto her side and smiled at him. Scooting closer, she snuggled up to him, resting her head on his shoulder and curling her leg between his.

Kurt remained stoic for a long moment, trying and failing not to curve into her embrace.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered placing a chaste kiss on his neck, her breath hot on his skin. With a sigh Kurt’s hand moved to curl around her waist, tugging her closer while the other reached for the bedside lamp plunging them both into darkness.

“You owe me,” he murmured gruffly, his lips falling to the crown of her head and placing a delicate kiss there. Diane giggled shifting to get comfortable.

“Is that all I am to you? Sex?” she joked lightly and Kurt laughed.

“Oh, didn’t I make that clear?” he teased running his hand up and down her silk covered back. “I’m using you for your body.” Diane giggled at that, placing a soft kiss to his jaw.

“Goodnight Cowboy,” she whispered, breathing in his scent as she snuggled deeper into him, her eyes already fighting to stay open.

“Goodnight Diane.”


Will woke with a groan, throwing his arm across his face to block out the sunlight streaming into the room. Flopping over onto his stomach he cursed Diane and her girly curtains, they were pretty sure, but it was clear that’s all they were.

With a defeated huff, he resigned himself to the fact that he’d have to get up; he wasn’t going to fall back to sleep now. Reaching over to the side table, he grabbed his phone.


Dear Lord. Yawning, he rubbed at his sleepy eyes, deciding to go grab a coffee and start his day. Stumbling out of the bed, he crossed the hall to the bathroom, using the facilities before heading in the direction of the kitchen.

Will padded through Diane’s home barefoot, thankful it was so early and that he wouldn’t have to face her and her new beau without the crutch of caffeine. Rounding the corner to her kitchen he suddenly came to an abrupt halt.

There on her kitchen island sat Diane, her legs wide as Kurt stood between them. His hands were on her hips and his lips trailed down her throat as she giggled, her eyes closed.

“Kurt,” she laughed her hands threaded through his hair and holding his mouth to her skin. “Stop it!” she chastised without conviction. “Will could come in at any minute!”

Will smirked to himself, entranced by the couple. God, they were like teenagers! He watched as Kurt’s hands wandered his partner’s body, touching her and slipping dangerously under her pyjama top. Diane whimpered.

“You promised me last night,”

"I know, but not now! Will could wake up at any moment." she groaned, clearly enjoying his attentions despite her words.

"I can be quick!" Kurt replied and Will bit his lip to keep from scoffing.

“No, you can’t!" she reprimanded as his lips trailed across her collarbone. Kurt chuckled against her skin, his teeth nipping at her playfully and making her moan. Diane tilted her head back, allowing Kurt better access to her throat as she continued. “You always say that and then I end up two hours late to a client lunch with a hickey I can’t hide!”

Will frowned at that, recalling how a few weeks ago she’d blamed traffic for her late arrival to a lunch with Sweeney. Dear God, he didn’t want to know this!

“I believe you were the one that begged me to leave that hickey, and all the others,” Kurt growled lowly and Will grimaced, stumbling backward quickly. His face was scrunched up in disgust and his ears felt like they were on fire. He didn’t want to think about that. Kurt and Diane. He didn’t want to know his partner liked to be marked. He didn’t want to question her tardiness with the image of her screwing their ballistics’ expert.


Will moved swiftly back to his room, opening the door and slamming it loudly. He stood stationary for a few moments, listening to the shuffling and hushed whispers coming from the kitchen. Figuring he’d given them enough time, he slowly made his way back toward the kitchen.

Upon turning the corner, he smiled. Kurt was now on the opposite end of the room, rinsing his coffee mug in the sink while Diane fastened the sash on her dressing gown.

“Will!” she greeted brightly, her cheeks flushed in what Will was sure must have been panic.

“Morning,” Will replied kindly, nodding to Kurt as the man murmured a hello.

“How’d you sleep?” Diane asked trying to lean on the kitchen island casually.

“Good,” Will responded with a knowing smile that made his partner’s eyes thin. The pair stared at each other for a long moment; Will amused and Diane fearful. She knew that naughty smirk, something was up.

“I better go get ready,” Kurt interrupted their staring contest. He moved toward Diane, curling his hand around her waist as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “See you later.” he whispered and Diane smiled dreamily as he walked off, leaving the partners alone.

Diane’s eyes followed Kurt until he disappeared round the corner, only then snapping back to Will’s. Her partner bit back a cheeky grin, his eyes heavy with amusement.

“Don’t,” she warned pointing a finger at him dangerously, her eyes now thinned and her lovesick expression wiped blank.

“I didn’t say anything!” Will responded raising his hands in surrender but failing to conceal a knowing grin.

“You didn’t have to.” she fired back darkly, folding her arms across her chest. “Go on,” she prompted after a moment, her eyebrow raised pointedly.

“You love him,” he sing-songed like a school girl, his smile wide and teasing.

“I do not!” she spat back quickly, her mouth falling open in horror.

“Oh, you so do!” he chuckled at her indignation. “You’re in love with a republican! Your dad must be rolling in his grave!” he continued watching Diane blush more and more.

“Will!” she shrieked in a hushed tone, her eyes wide as she cast a look behind him to make sure Kurt hadn’t returned.

“Admit you love him.” Will prodded, his eyes evil.

“I will not!” she replied petulantly.



“Fine, then I guess I’ll be forced to tell him!” Will joked spinning on his heel and walking toward the hallway. Before he could get three steps, Diane’s hand had grabbed his wrist and pulled him to face her.

“Fine!” she huffed out angrily, looking down the hallway before continuing. “I love him, okay?” Will smiled widely at her admission, his green eyes no longer teasing as he met her blue.

“You should tell him.” he advised and Diane shook her head.

“Relationship advice from Mr. One Night Stand?” she laughed out lowly and Will shoved her shoulder.

“Hey! At least Mr. One Night Stand doesn’t rock up late to meetings!” he fired back sarcastically and Diane’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh no,” she moaned closing her eyes and bringing her fingers up to pinch the bridge of her nose as she realised he’d heard them.

“Oh yes, I’m afraid I have that information now and I intend to use it.” Diane groaned at his smug look, her shoulders slumping as she resigned herself to the fact that he had her.

“What do you want?” she asked defeatedly as she met her partner’s eyes.

“Let’s start with coffee,” Will bargained, with a dark smirk. “And we’ll take it from there.”

Diane rolled her eyes and stormed over to the coffee pot in a huff. This was going to be unbearable, she knew Will was gonna milk this until the cows came home, and yet, somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Not one second.