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bath house shenanigans

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bath house shenanigans.




Naruto grinned boyishly at the villagers that greeted him, firing back boisterous good mornings and hellos as he led a group of three lanky, awkwardly gangly teen boys to their destiny.




Said boys were looking around suspiciously, especially for the brown haired boy who seemed to be most on edge with fidgety hands and shifty eyes. He was knocked in the head by a deceptively dainty-looking white-haired boy. “Baka-anija, don't look so suspicious! You'll get us found out!” He hissed quietly.


Hashirama laughed sheepishly, forcing his tense shoulders to relax. Madara rolled his eyes at his nervousness, before settling themselves on the blonde Kage in front of them.


“Are we there yet, Hokage-sama?” The lone Uchiha asked, making bright blue eyes snap to him. He received a cheeky grin. “Not yet, Madara. Just a little further and-”


The tall man stopped in front of a familiar building, and the three preteens poked out from behind him to see the location of their supposed ‘destiny’.


The bath house?


Naruto cackled as three innocent, untainted eyes wandered curiously to him, a silent question in all of their young, virgin eyes.


“Today,” he boomed, as the three boys snapped to attention, “You all become men!”




Tobirama was blushing furiously at the thought of peeping on women. His mama raised him to be a gentleman, god damnit. This was Very Very Wrong on his morals. Why did they have to peep on women to become men? Couldn't they have some other sort of initiation into manhood?


“Hokage-sama,” he heard Hashirama call out, “Can Tobi and I not participate?” His voice was shaking with nerves. “Our mama would have our heads if she knew we were anything but gentlemanly to women.”


Naruto looked at him oddly. Weren't teenagers supposed to be hormonal? Who even heard of gentlemanly boys nowadays?


He shook his head in disbelief- these boys were something else.


“But this is the holy rite of passage for boys to truly become men!” Naruto declared passionately. “All men do it at least once some point in life. Myself, your clan leaders, previous Hokages, Jiraiya-sama… It is a path to greatness!”


The three boys sweat dropped unsurely. “Path to greatness, you say…” Madara said dryly.


The Hokage nodded solemnly. “You must do it, or you will be stuck as a boy your whole life.”


The members of the newly-minted Team 0 looked at each other before shrugging. “Okay then. But I will not stay for long!” Hashirama said, Tobirama nodding in agreement. Madara just wanted to get this over with.


Naruto grinned and pumped his fist. “Yosh! Let's go!”


The eldest male led them to a narrow hallway with two doors at the end. He ducked into the one on the right, as the three boys followed after him like ducklings.


They were met with steam and a light mist that surrounded the bath area they had entered, fragrant with the smell of natural minerals and womanly soap. Hashirama scuffed his foot nervously, hands behind his back as he stood protectively in front of Tobirama and Madara. Naruto was rubbing his hands in glee, quietly making his way towards the tall bamboo walls that hid away unsuspecting bathing women… Hashirama’s face reddened as guilt poked at his conscience.


‘I'm so sorry, ladies,’ he mentally apologised.


Naruto by then had knelt down and pressed his face into one of the holes, pervy smile taking over his face. He motioned for them to join him, and they reluctantly did, kneeling like obedient children.


“Okay, just pick one of the peepholes and you'll be able to see a whole new world~” the blond sang.


The three boys shrugged and picked random holes, spying into the women's bath with little interest. There was nothing truly captivating about it, actually, since the women were just sitting around and…


…is that Sakura-sensei?


Madara watched curiously as she came to the bath, blushing at the tiny towel she had wrapped around her figure. She was smiling at something her friend, Yamanaka Ino, had said, and they had both pulled their long hair into a bun, exposing pale necks and sharp collarbones.


Suddenly, as they stopped near the tub, they released their towels.


Madara suddenly felt very, very warm. He pulled away from the peeping hole as if burned, seeing Tobirama and Hashirama doing the same. His heart was drumming madly into his chest, and his cheeks were on fire.


The Senju brothers appeared to be in worse conditions, though. Naruto gave them proud smiles, about to congratulate them until…


Hashirama flared his chakra in embarrassment.


The bath house suddenly got very quiet, and Naruto became very, very still. His wide blue eyes spoke volumes.


‘Oh shit.’


A pale, familiar fist made a huge hole the bamboo walls, and Naruto and the boys took the opportunity to run for their lives.


“Na-ru-to!” They heard their sensei shriek in outrage. “How dare you corrupt my students!”


Naruto was covering his head as if preparing for a blow, apologies tumbling out of his mouth at a rapid rate. Sakura body flickered to them and landed an axe kick on the Hokage’s head, dressed in nothing but the flimsy towel from earlier. “SHANNARO!”


The three members of team 0 froze at her appearance, but flustered and terrified for their lives.


Sakura picked up the man she had pummeled into the ground -was that a crater? Dear god- by his collar and punched over the Hokage Monument. He flew into the forest behind him at a horrifying speed.


Madara, Tobirama and Hashirama were slowly backing away, trying to make an escape, but their sensei's livid eyes snapped to them like something out of a horror movie.


She cracked her fists.


“So, whose bright idea was it to do what your Naruto-sama did?”