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What Happens When Jessie Posts A Status On Facebook

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Jessie Pride writes as her status: “Spending the Christmas holidays with my favorite soldier, Buzz Lightyear and planning on enjoying it,” complete with a link to Buzz Lightyear’s profile. And this is what starts a huge barrel of insanity on the twenty-six year old redhead’s Facebook Wall.

Within ten minutes, Belle Normandy, Flynn Rider, Gaston Rodez, Jasmine Agrabah, Kiara Tanganyika, Mulan Fa, Nani Pelekai, Rapunzel Corona, Shang Li, Snow White Bonn, Tiana Orleans, and of course, Buzz Lightyear had all liked her status. Though others would like the status in the coming hours.

Rapunzel had been the first to comment, “I bet you’re happy about that, Jessie.” And she included a smiley face.

Gaston had been the second to comment by saying, “I bet you’ll be riding his disco stick, Cowgirl.”

Rapunzel, among others, including Kuzco Peru, Le Fou Bourges, and Barbie Roberts had liked Gaston’s comment.

Snow White had commented, ignoring Gaston’s comment by saying, “Buzz is such a prince to you, Jessie!”

Buzz liked her comment.

Tiana had replied to Gaston saying, “Mmm, Gaston, so true. Take some time to rest, girl, though!”

Belle replied to Gaston saying, “Why are you listening to Lady GaGa music, Gaston? Heh.”

“But, Belle! It worked so well!” Rapunzel exclaimed.

Jasmine had commented, “What plans do you have with Buzz, Jessie?”

Rapunzel replied, “Didn’t you read? Gaston thinks they’re going to have sex!” Gaston liked this comment, as did Tiana and Flynn.

“Is everyone going to be guessing what Buzz and Jessie do in their bedroom?” Flynn asked.

“Sure, why not?” Gaston replied.

“Lots of hickeys! It’s why she wears turtlenecks!” Jasmine wrote. Gaston, Tiana, Flynn, Clopin Trouillefou, and for some reason, Aurora ‘Briar Rose’ Goldberg all liked this comment.

“Buzz is a biter, you think?” Rapunzel replied.

“Probably to mark her as his,” Belle replied.

“As if we did not know this already,” Jasmine replied. “They belong together. Everyone knows that.”

“I figured it out at a party a couple of years at how they practically dry-humped each other in front of us. And he looked at me like I was some kind of creep,” Gaston replied.

“You are some kind of creep, Gaston,” Belle replied. Barbie, Tiana, Flynn, Rapunzel, and even Jessie (who had not been participating in the insane conversation) had liked the comment. Rapunzel had replied to the comment with a “Haha!”

“Plus, you touched Jessie’s butt and she did not like that,” Barbie pointed out.

“He broke my nose!” Gaston exclaimed.

“I repeat: you are a creep, Gaston!” Belle replied. Tons of likes from their friends, especially the women.

“I always figured that they (Buzz and Jessie) were like lions when they mate, like 40 times a day,” Kiara said.

“If you don’t want to leave your bedroom, Linguini and I can make you food,” Colette Tatou had replied.

“Girl, I told you, take some time to rest!” Tiana exclaimed.

“Eating popcorn as I read all this,” Clopin replied. “Amusant!”

“Can you guys stop?” Buzz asked.

“Why?” Rapunzel and Gaston both asked.

“I don’t feel comfortable with you guys trying to figure out what I and Jessie do in the privacy of our bedroom,” Buzz said.

“At least they aren’t barging into our bedroom, Buzz,” Jessie wrote.

“Don’t give them ideas, Jess,” Buzz replied.

“For the record, Jasmine, I like turtlenecks,” Jessie replied.

“Oh, and our plans include dinner, gift exchange, and spending time together,” Jessie added.

“Translation: Sex,” Kiara replied. At least six of their friends liked this comment.

“Hey, that’s a great way to spend Christmas!” Mulan exclaimed.

“Just stop,” Buzz wrote.

“Just let it go, you,” Esmeralda Lille replied. “You guys are a gorgeous couple. Of course they want to think about you guys having sex. They’ll get bored eventually.”

“Who? Jessie of Buzz? I hope so. Hey, girl, if you tire of looking at the same face, I’m available,” Gaston said.

“Idiot,” Belle replied to him.

“Dumbass,” Briar Rose wrote.

“I’m not going to take you to the hospital if Buzz punches you in the face,” Le Fou wrote.

“Rodez, do yourself a favor and get the fuck out of the country now,” Shang wrote.

“It was a joke!” Gaston wrote in all caps.

Buzz wrote, “I hope so. For your sake.”

“I just checked. He’s actually rubbing his knuckles,” Jessie wrote.

“And, Esmeralda, thanks for the compliment. We are damn sexy,” Jessie added. Buzz liked this comment.

“I’m sorry, please don’t break any of my bones,” Gaston wrote.

“I forgive you. For this instance,” Jessie replied.

“Gaston, apology accepted. Keep yourself away from Jessie,” Buzz wrote.

“No face punching? Too bad!” Clopin wrote. “Have a great holiday, you two!”