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in the cold light, i live to love and adore you

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"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I’m awake, you know?"

- Ernest Hemingway

 

 

The team gets called to a rural Alaskan island when seven people have been murdered in three days. The killer is working his way through the small community, mutilating his victims beyond recognition. With the residents as scared to evacuate as they are to stay the local sheriff called them in at the end of his rope.

They take the jet to Alaska, a small plane out of a neighboring island, followed by a ferry ride to get to the island. Its main trade is fishing and has a fluctuating population, which the team finds out at the end of the first day when they get to their hotel.

“Oh no.”

Spencer lifts his head from where he has slumped in one of the hotel’s waiting chairs and sees Emily approaching the group. She’s got a grimace on her face.

“Aw hell,” JJ sighs, already reading the situation.

“It's their busiest season,” Emily sighs, “So I’m afraid we’re gonna have to double up.”

Spencer sighs, already kissing a proper night’s sleep away.

He just hopes he doesn’t have to share with Matt. He’s heard him snore enough on the jet, thank you.

“Oh joy,” Garcia yawns, tired from struggling with the sheriff’s prehistoric tech all day.

“I’ll bunk with ya, sleepy girl,” Tara teases, standing up to pick up her and Garcia’s bags.

“Yay, sleepover,” Garcia says weakly, but with a smile.

“Dave you and Simmons get the room with two beds,” Emily says as she hands out the keys, “No arguments. Simmons, you still have stitches from that bullet graze in Austen and Dave … well…”

“I’m prehistoric,” Rossi says with jovial sarcasm, “So I get top billing.”

Simmons chuckles.

“I snore.”

“Even better,” Rossi says as he takes the key from Emily, “After ‘Nam I can’t sleep in a silent room.”

JJ stands up next to Emily, taking a key from her hand before moving away from the group to make a phone call.

“Looks like we drew the short straw.”

Spencer looks up to see Luke standing in front of him, a hesitant smile on his face and key dangling from his hand. For a moment he looks exactly like he’s just walked out of one of Spencers dreams. His smile, his tight shirt, the suggestion that they are about to sleep together-

Spencer wipes a hand down his face.

“As usual.”

Emily chuckles at them.

“We’ll meet down here in the morning before heading out to the sheriff’s station,” she says as she walks away towards the elevator, smacking Luke lightly on the chest as she passes, “Don’t stay up all night braiding Reid’s hair.”

“Dang,” Luke says jokingly, “Are we still allowed to swap ghost stories?”

“Thin ice, Alvez! Thin ice.”

Spencer laughs weakly before a yawn takes control. Luke takes his bag from him before he can protest.

“Come on,” he says, shouldering all their bags, “We’d better get going. Tomorrows going to be a long day.”

“Tomorrow is going to be hell.”

Luke hums in agreement and waits for Spencer to get to his feet before heading towards the elevator.

Their room is on the fourth floor, which is the top floor of this tiny hotel. They step out of the elevator and Spencer lists against the wall, the promise of a bed close by already enough for his body to start shutting down.

“Did you know a study conducted in 2015 showed that 18% of the people surveyed claim they have been in the presence of or seen a ghost?”

“Huh,” Luke says as he hooks a hand up under Spencer's arm and guides him down the hall to their room, “I would have thought it would be higher.”

“Really? Why?”

Luke shrugs.

“I guess the majority of my family believe in them,” he says casually, “My Abuela says she saw her sister one night when she was struggling through being pregnant with my Aunty. My Dad says he saw a spirit when he was deployed, and his unit was lost in enemy terrain that led them to clean water. My sister swears her kitchen is haunted.”

“Her kitchen?”

“Yeah, but the ghost is a nice guy. Her kids talk to him like he’s an imaginary friend or something.”

Spencer smiles at the image of a group of tiny children chatting with a ghost while they eat their Froot Loops.

“Have you ever seen one?”

Luke takes a moment to answer.

“Maybe.”

Spencer swallows, seeing through his fatigue that he has miss stepped.

“You don’t have to tell me.”

“Nah, its- I don’t want to think about that kind of thing before bed, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Spencer flounders as Luke turns away to open the door, “I used to go ghost hunting!”

“What?” Luke laughs, pausing in opening the door to look at Spencer. His goofy grin makes Spencer's heart stutter.

“Y-yeah! When I was in college, me and Stephen-”

“Stephen?”

“Stephen Gideon- yep, that Gideon’s son- and a couple of our friends would go on ghost walks and take pictures on disposable cameras to try and catch a ghost.”

“Did you ever get one?”

“No,” Spencer feels a small smile spread across his face, “It was fun to try though.”

Luke smiles back and finally gets the door unlocked and open.

They walk into the room, flick on the lights, and immediately freeze.

“There’s only one bed,” Spencer says, more in shock than anything else because he is confident that Luke can see that there is only one bed in this tiny hotel room.

It’s a king, and it looks comical in the room, too large compared to the tiny bedside table and the cramped en-suite beside it. There is barely any room around it, one side pressing close to the en-suite wall while the other strays dangerously close to the window.

Spencer glares at the pink floral duvet cover and wonders if he has been wrong and there really is some kind of malevolent being out there that hates him. Specifically.

Luke drops the bags down and turns to him, determined look on his face.

“I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“What? No!”

“Reid,” Luke drops their bags and turns to Reid, “I know you don’t like touching people, I know you have a thing about germs-”

“-and I know that tomorrow we are going to be tracking down a serial murderer, and you are statistically more likely to be part of the physical takedown of said killer than I am!” Spencer explains, exhaustion making him short-tempered, “It would be both rude and illogical for you to sleep on the floor!”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Luke protests, sighing like Spencer is being difficult.

“Believe it or not I have shared beds with people before,” Spencer picks up his bag and begins to pull what he needs for bed out, “And I know you. You’re not gross.”

Luke smiles, and it looks like he fights it first.

“Garcia would argue differently.”

Spencer rolls his eyes.

“You sure I won’t upset you?” Luke asks one final time.

“I’m sure,” Spencer sighs, but sends Luke a good-natured smile, “You know I had to share a bed with Hotch once, right?”

Luke winces.

“Oh god.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean I can’t even imagine.”

“Don’t even try.”

“…You may have just guaranteed I’ll have nightmares.”

Spencer laughs.

“Neither of us will be having nightmares if we stand here talking all night.”

They fall into the rhythm of getting ready for bed. Spencer changes and brushes his teeth first and then starts turning down the bed while Luke has the bathroom. He untucks the sheet and re-tucks it so it’s less constricting and rearranges the pillows, so they aren’t sitting up close to the headboard. Then he secures his weapon and places his shoes under the bedside table, making sure they are perfectly aligned with the edge of the table.

Okay. Maybe he is a little nervous.

He wasn’t lying to Luke when he said he’s shared beds with people before. It wasn’t uncommon for the team to have to share sleeping quarters in smaller towns, or when rooms were scarce for other reasons. He’s had to share with Hotch and Rossi, Morgan more often than not, and even once with Emily.

But it has been some time since he’s shared a bed with someone that he is attracted to.

Because he is- he is attracted to Luke.

A blush spreads across his cheeks.  God, he can’t even think it without getting embarrassed.

Because it is embarrassing. Going wobbly over a teammate, like he’s a first-year probie agent. Like he hasn’t been hunting monsters for over a decade.

When he met Luke he registered that he was handsome. He has a wonderful smile, and his hair is always so perfect, and his arms … well, they certainly don’t hurt.

And then he got to know Luke. Got to know the good man behind the gorgeous smile. That he’s smart and kind, and soft and goofy and so so so wonderful in general.

Reid is sitting on the bed blushing when Luke comes out of the bathroom. He’s wearing a grey Henley, black pajama pants and a pair of orange fuzzy socks. Reid hopes he hasn’t purposefully worn more clothes than he usually would just to unnecessarily accommodate him.

Reid also can’t help but notice how warm and soft he looks. He is suddenly struck by the fantasy of Luke flopping down on the bed next to him, goofy smile on his face and laugh in his voice as he teases Reid about his dinosaur patterned pyjamas, only for Spencer to shut him up when he crawls into Luke’s lap and starts peeling back all those delicious layers to run his hands over the warm brown skin underneath and down into his-

“Left side?” Luke asks.

“Y-yeah,” Spencer stutters, pulling the duvet up over him and stretching out his legs just so he doesn’t burst into flames, “I thought you would want to be closest to the door.”

“Profiling me?”

“Just a little. Did I overstep?”

“No, it’s alright,” Luke secures his weapon and places his shoes under the table next to Reid’s, not aligning them with the edge of the table, “And it’s not like you’re wrong either. Being closest to the window won’t freak you out?”

“I’ll probably have a dream about rolling out it, but I’ll be fine.”

Luke chuckles and then pulls back the duvet and lays down.

Spencer's hand hovers over the light switch. It's shaking just slightly.

“All set?” he asks after clearing his throat a couple of times.

“Yep.”

Spencer flicks off the lights and suddenly everything feels so much closer. He lays down in bed and pulls the covers up, and feels they are already warming thanks to his and Luke’s body heat. He lays his head down on the pillow and it feels like Luke’s gentle breathing is all around him.

“Goodnight, Spencer.”

He has to wet his lips a few times before he can speak.

“Goodnight … Luke.”

He thinks if he were not so exhausted he would have laid there for a while as his mind ticked through his every anxious thought about how this all could go wrong. As it is it only takes a few moments before he falls asleep.

 

He wakes several hours later to the sound of his alarm going off, and the pleasing sensation of something firm and warm under his cheek.

“No,” a pleasantly deep and gravelly voice says, the sensation rumbling up under his face, “Urgh.”

“Hmmm?” Spencer hums, his eyes still firmly closed.

A hand runs down his back and comes to rest on the skin exposed between his pajama pants and where his shirt has ridden up. A callous catches against his skin and Spencer shivers, letting out a quiet moan.

Which is when he remembers last night.

Which is when he remembers who it is in bed next to him.

His eyes fly open and he looks up to see Luke fighting against sleep, eyes still closed as consciousness chases him.

Spencer extracts himself and Luke wakes up completely when his arm falls from spencers back down into the mattress. He looks around blurrily until his eyes land on Spencer and his bright red cheeks, and he springs off the bed.

“Sorry I-!”

“No! No, it’s-!”

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Luke it’s okay, I-”

There is a sudden pounding on the door and it makes them both jump.

“Hurry up, you two!” Tara calls through the door, “Ten-minute warning!”

Spencer and Luke look at each other, both of them unable to form a proper sentence before they both suddenly snap into work mode and begin getting ready.

The brush their teeth, get dressed and retrieve their weapons before grabbing their bags and leaving the room, all without saying a word to each other.

 

They catch the killer-

“Henry Timmins, thirty-six-year-old white male with a history of drug abuse. It started as a coping mechanism to deal with his abusive home life as a minor and spiraled into a lifelong dependency. He has never held a steady job or had any kind of long-term relationship or had a permanent place of residence. It seems everyone he ever came across for the first twenty-five years of his life hurt him.”

“Until he figured out he could be the one who hurts, not the one getting hurt.”

“Yeah. He has a long record full of assaults and bar fights and all kinds of violence. He was questioned in relation to a missing persons case ten years ago, but nothing ever came of it. His life just seems to have been drinking and fighting until six years ago.”

“What happened six years ago?”

“His only living relative died,” Garcia makes a wounded b=noise and turns her laptop around so everyone can see the photo of a smiling blond woman on her screen, “Milly Timmins. She was murdered by her husband because she had filed for divorce.”

“Bastard.”

“Were they close.”

“Milly said on a police report that she never knew her brother as a violent person. He used to protect her from their parents, and it seems that whenever she needed his help he was there to help her. He was a different person around her.”

“He was able to hide his true nature because he loved her.”

“Maybe he projected his rage of her leaving him by dying onto these people.”

“Or maybe her death was the last thing he needed to embrace his true nature. Why hold back when the only person worth pretending for is dead?”

-unfortunately, they find him on a property near the seaside that not only has his latest victim hung up draining of blood, but also at least twelve graves.

“We won’t be leaving any time soon,” Emily assured the sheriff as Timmins is escorted to processing, “We can help you with the interrogation and what to do next to prepare for the trial, as well as the continued support at the crime scene-”

“W-with all due respect Agent Prentiss,” Sheriff Scott says, her face pale and her eyes swimming with unshed tears, “I’d like it if you and your team took the lead on … all this. If me or my men go in that room with that thing I don’t think anyone will be coming out without doing something regrettable.”

Emily nods sagely.

“We understand. Please know that you can change your mind on that decision at any time and that me and my team will do everything we can to support you and stay out of the way of other investigations.”

Sheriff Scott smiles.

“Thank you. I’ll go let the boys know.”

The sheriff leaves and Prentiss turns to the team, her face determined.

“Timmins has already proven he wants to talk,” she says, referencing the way he rambled as he was arrested, “So we are going to need everything we can get our hands on to weed out the truth from the lies in what he is telling us. Rossi, I want you and JJ on the interrogation.”

“Play on his issues with his father-” Rossi says.

“-and his love for his blond-haired sister,” JJ finishes nodding at him, “We’ll start as soon as he’s gone through processing.”

“Good. Tara, I want you sitting on the other side of the glass with Garcia. I want you to catch every lie you can from him and start compiling a folder of evidence. Remember we still need the identities of the victims we found on the farm.”

“Yep yep yep,” Garcia sings with a yawn, “On it boss laddie.”

“Simmons is catching a boat to the mainland,” Prentiss explains to Luke and Reid, “We have a Detective over there claiming that Timmins may be responsible for a string of missing persons cases and some violent murders in his county four years ago. He’s going to call in a few hours as to whether he thinks it’s credible or not. Meanwhile, I’m heading to the hospital to see how Marleen is doing”

“What do you want us to do?”

“We can’t process the scene any further until more personnel become available in the morning- a rockslide on the other side of the island is keeping a lot of people. So, while that’s being held down, I need you two to go through the notebooks we found at the scene.”

The books they found in the metal lock box in the room where their only surviving victim- Marleen- was strung up to be drained of all her blood. Reid had got a quick look at them as they were bagged up and processed. They didn’t look like easy reads.

“We’ll get on it,” Luke confirms, “Text us when you know how Marleen is doing?”

“Absolutely.”

She nods to them and then spins to stride out of the station, phone already raised to her ear as she no doubt prepares to explain their extended stay to the director.

Spencer sighs and turns to Luke.

“Ready?”

Luke sighs.

“As I’ll ever be.”

They settle in the small conference room the deputies have provided them. The divide up the notebooks, set up a laptop and a legal pad to take notes, and start sifting through the darkness that was Henry Timmins mind.

It's dark. And horrible. Among some of the worst things, Spencer has ever read to seen in his life and has sifted through hundreds of notebooks like these in his career.

He has drawn diagrams of his horrible deeds, of the deeds he wanted to commit, egotistical paragraphs about his deluded worldview which Spencer thinks were written whilst he was drunk, and darker more self-hating paragraphs which seemed to be the norm for Timmins.

He was a man torn apart at an early age. He writes about the abuse he suffered at all stages in his life, about sadness and loneliness which he both hates and thinks he deserves because of his violent thoughts, and later about his new idea on his life’s purpose after the death of his sister; that he was created a violent man for a reason, that if he was not meant to be this way something would have killed him by now, some divine intervention would have struck him down. Reid sees that for what it really is, his minds attempt to justify his horrible choices.

Because ultimately Henry Timmins was a man in control of himself. He may have never stood a chance at being normal, but he had the choice.

“He knows the difference between good and bad, right and wrong,” Luke says a few hours later, his voice croaky from being silent so long, “He’s not mental incapable, he knew what he was doing.”

“I agree,” Spencer sighs, rubbing his eyes as he finishes the second last of his notebooks, “He was writing things down in the early notebooks to try and get them out of his head. You can actually see him become more comfortable with his violent thoughts over time throughout the books. Writing them down became a way for him to divert blame from his actions.”

“Like writing them down took them out of his head and out of his responsibility.”

“Yeah, he-” his sentence is broken up by a yawn, “Excuse me, I’m sorry.”

“No problem,” Luke sighs and rubs his neck, “I’m getting pretty tired here too.”

“What time is it?”

“6 o’clock.”

Spencer frowns. He can’t remember when they came in here.

“At night?”

“In the morning.”

Spencer grimaces.

“Well I’ve almost finished,” he sighs, “If you give me your last notebook I can read it faster.”

Luke smirks and raises his eyebrows. Spencer realizes how that sounds and sputters.

“I mean that I can finish the books in the time it would take you to go get coffee … and donuts?”

Luke’s smirk grows into a soft grin.

“You always have the best ideas, Doc,” he gets up, pops something in his back that makes Spencer wince, and claps him on the shoulder as he leaves, “Extra sugar?”

“Yes. Please.”

After he is gone Spencer's hand comes up to his shoulder. Luke so rarely touches him. Although this morning they had been pressed along each other-

A blush spreads across his face and he drops his hand before anyone has the chance to see him acting like a teenager.

He gets back to the books. By the time he has finished, his legal pad is full to the margins.

He starts putting the books back into their proper evidence containers and is just boxing them back up when Luke returns.

“Emily texted Marleen is conscious and she’s going to make it so that’s good- woah!”

Spencer rushes forward, snatches the coffee out of Luke’s hand and starts chugging it down before he can finish speaking.

He groans as the warmth spreads through him and he swears he can feel the caffeine taking effect.

“Thank you,” he sighs as he finishes the cup, “I really needed that.”

Luke chuckles and hands him a second cup. Spencer takes it and sips it more politely than the last.

“Emily also said,” Luke continues, amusement obvious in his voice, “That as soon as we are done here we can go back to the hotel and get some sleep. She’s already sent Tara and Garcia back, Rossi and JJ will be going back as well as soon as they finish debriefing the deputies that have just come on shift.”

“Oh. Is she sure she doesn’t want me overseeing the identification of the bodies at the excavation?”

“Her words were; ‘you boys are dead on your feet and I don’t want you falling asleep behind the wheel driving out there.’”

“…That’s fair.”

“So, um,” Luke shifts on his feet and avoids Spencer's eyes, “I can drive us back, um … When you’re ready.”

He is nervous, Spencer suddenly realizes. And embarrassed.

He remembers how they woke up this morning and blushes.

“I’m sorry about climbing all over you in my sleep,” he admits suddenly, “I invaded your personal space and I’m really sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Luke looks surprised.

“I’m- you didn’t make me uncomfortable! Honestly, I haven’t been able to share a bed with anyone without waking them up with my nightmares in years, but I slept through the night with you. I just thought- I was touching you a lot-”

Spencers blush gets so much worse all of a sudden.

“-and I know you’re not a tactile guy and I just assumed … didn’t I make you uncomfortable?”

“Honestly? No. I actually … I usually get really cold when I’m asleep and having you there- you run like a furnace, man.”

Luke laughs, short and surprised.

“Okay, so we’ve both been walking on eggshells around each other all day because we thought we had crossed a line that we actually hadn’t.”

“Well, we probably crossed a professional line but we’re friends too, right?”

“Right.”

“So, I think we’re good.”

Spencer smiles at him and nods.

 

They get back to the hotel just as the sun is really beginning to show. The small town looks beautiful bathed in the oranges and pinks of the warm sunrise, and for a moment Reid makes himself forget that there was ever a monster stalking these streets.

When they get up to their room they move on autopilot, securing their weapons away and changing for bed. Reid draws the curtains shut while Luke turns down the bed. They lay down next to each other, letting out simultaneous sighs of relief when they sink into the mattress.

“How long do we have?” Luke sighs as he closes his eyes and settles his head in his pillow.

“Five hours,” Spencer replies, trying to get similarly comfortable.

“God willing. Night, Spencer.”

“Mid-morning, Luke.”

Luke laughs and closes his eyes.

Spencer does the same and waits. And waits.

He scrunches up his eyes against the minimal streams of light coming in through the gaps in the curtain.  He shifts, trying to move as little as possible so as not to disturb Luke. But the light won’t leave him be. He lets out a frustrated sigh.

“Spencer?” Luke whispers.

“Hmmm?”

Spencer opens his eyes and turns to look at Luke. For a moment he looks hesitant. Then he shifts the covers and opens his arms, the message clear.

A blush spreads across his face instantly.

The horrible part of his brain chimes in for a moment and says; ‘it’s a trick, he knows about your stupid crush he’s mocking you.’

But then logic speaks up over that.

‘He is your friend and he knows about your insomnia. He just wants to help you sleep and it worked last night. It’s okay.’

Smiling weakly in thanks Spencer slides across the bed and lays his head against Luke’s shoulder, pressing close to his side. Luke arm comes down around him, encompassing him in his warmth. Spencer closes his eyes and sighs in relief. This is much better.

Without another word or look at each other they drift off to sleep.

Spencer doesn’t dream and he’s thankful for it.

 

The noise of a little kid running up the hall and knocking on every door wakes Spencer up with a start. His internal clock tells him its been about four hours since they went to sleep.

Then he makes up further and realizes what position he is in.

Sometime in their sleep, he and Luke must have shifted. Spencer has been turned around and is now laying on his side facing towards the window. Luke is pressed up behind him, his arms wrapped around Spencer's middle, keeping him so close there is no room between them.

He shifts slightly, trying to get his stiff legs to wake up and-

Oh.

His blush comes back stronger than ever.

Luke appears to be more awake than previously indicated.

Spencer wonders, slightly panicked, how he can slither out of Luke’s grip and escape to the bathroom before Luke can wake up and get embarrassed or see how Spencer is reacting himself.

He feels both excited and ashamed. Excited because of his feelings for Luke, and ashamed because Luke isn’t in control of his body. This reaction is not for Spencer, it’s a natural reaction and even if his mind romanticizes it that doesn’t make it so.

 As much as he has dreamed of waking up beside Luke- between his bouts of denial about his feelings- and of rolling over to enjoy waking him up with soft kisses and slow touches, Luke was always a consenting participant in those things.

Before Spencer can come up with a solution though, the little kid comes running back down the hallway, and this time the knock is loud enough to wake Luke up.

Acting quickly Spencer closes his eyes and mimics sleep just as Luke jumps away with a surprised snort. There is a beat and then Luke quickly withdraws his arms and all but jumps out of bed. Spencer doesn’t react.

“Crap,” he hears Luke swear in a whisper.

Then there is a moment of silence followed by the sound of the en-suite door closing and the shower starting up.

Spencer sighs and rolls onto his back. He runs a hand through his hair and wills himself to calm down.

The light from the gap in the curtain cuts across his face and he suddenly gets the feeling it's going to be a long day.

 

They get ready and head out without exchanging any significant conversation. Luke seems bashful and Reid wants to give him the impression that he has no idea why he would be, so they spend most of breakfast and the car ride in silence.

Then they split up. Luke drops Spencer out at the excavation site and heads back into town where he will meet up with Simmons and start taking statements from people who have missing loved ones and friends. They’ll need all the help they can get to identify the remains they found, but Spencer can’t help but feel grateful he’s not there with Luke. He doesn’t know if he would be able to handle looking at those grieving people with the lingering thought that their loved ones might not even be among those found on the farm. What would be worse, the grief or the not knowing?

Spencer shakes off the thought, slips on his gloves and starts taking the measurements of the first set of remains that have been set out for him.

His mindsets into work mode and he lets his emotions slip away. Everything becomes about taking down information, about the science of skeletal identification. He takes his time with the remains, writing down all the information he can before sending it off to Garcia for her to match against the missing person files and whatever information they have managed to get from Timmins.

He goes over five remains without taking a break and he knows that because of light and weather issues he and the others will only have a few more hours to work before they are forced to head in for the day.

He is leaning over one of the last bodies, his sixth whilst the county pathologist across from him is on his fourth when his laptop pings.

“How does the puzzle work go, boy wonder?”

“The bodies were placed in single graves so identification of individual skeletal remains has been rather easy, as compared to those were previously encountered in mass graves.”

“…Yeah okay. Anyway thanks to your information we think we’ve identified three of the poor souls already.”

“That was fast,” Reid frowns.

“Well we’ll have to wait for DNA and all that jazz, but these victims were all part of the small communities of black, Latina and indigenous peoples so they stood out from the Caucasian remains.”

The complete randomness of Timmins killings really is strange. Spencer wonders if through further analysis if they will find out a linking factor between them all.

“Want their info?”

“Sure,” he sighs continuing to not down the information of the skeleton he is currently leaning over.

“Okay, so we have; Janelle Martins, 35, she was an African American woman who was born and raised on this island. Never married no kids.”

“From the grave closes to the water,” Reid muses, “One of his earliest victims.”

“Hmm, I’ll let Tara know that titbit. Next, we have … Nannette Jacobs, 24, of indigenous descent. She had just moved back after graduating from college in California. She had a boyfriend who filed a missing persons report two years ago when she disappeared, he has since married but he still lives here and still has a reward out for any information about her disappearance, the poor boy.”

“He wrote about a ‘Nanny’ in one of his journals, he may have had a personal connection to her.”

“I’ll check. And last, we have …. Luke Rojas-”

Spencer feels himself go cold.

“-28, of Cuban decent we moved here with his wife who grew up here. Disappeared four years ago during a bachelor party in town, his wife thought he must have fallen into the ocean when he was drunk, and she didn’t pursue any kind of extensive investigation. Two months later she remarried, and I don’t wanna sound judgy or anything but yeesh lady that looks bad.”

Luke.

His name was Luke.

He feels like his heart is going to shatter in his chest.

Before he can stop it, shake himself out of his irrational thoughts, Spencer can see it clear as day. He can see Luke, his Luke, drinking and having fun at a bar in town, face flushed pleasantly with drink and from laughter. He can see Timmins watching him before moving through the crowd and charming him, luring him away from his friends and outside with some kind of promise, of company of a cigarette and then they are alone in the dark with only the moon and Timmins draws his knife and Luke barely has time for his eyes to widen before-

“Reid? Reid did our connection drop? I can’t hear you, are you alright?”

Spencer snaps out of it, stepping back from the examination table as he clears his throat. Across the way, the county pathologist raises an eyebrow at him but goes back to work without saying anything.

“No, no- I can hear you, Garcia, just got- just got distracted for a moment.”

“…Okay. Well, I'll pass on the information you gave me to Emily and Tara. Boss lady says you can head back for some sleep when you get the chance.”

“I don’t need to we haven’t been here that long.”

“Reid, you’ve been out there for ten hours.”

“…Oh.”

Reid looks up at the dark sky and the floodlights struggling through the wisps of the fog that is rolling in.

“Okay,” he sighs, “I’ll head in after we get everything packed away and hunkered down.”

His hands shake as he closes his laptop with a snap. He sucks in a shuddering breath as his heart beats rapidly in his chest.

Get it together, he mentally reprimands himself, it wasn’t Luke. Luke is fine.

But what if he’s not?

Spencer hasn’t seen Luke since this morning, he hasn’t spoken to him all day.

He swallows nervously as his mind again shows him that alley, the blood-stained ground, Luke struggling for breath against a knife at his throat just before it-

He has to leave.

Spencer helps pack up the sight with his hands still shaking and manages a somewhat wobbly smile to the deputy who offers him a ride to the hotel.

The drive back is a blur. Spencer can’t remember anything about the conversation they had, or any of the scenery they passed. All he can think about is the single lingering question that keeps bouncing around his grey matter;

What if?

The deputy drops him off at the hotel with a smile and a wave which Spencer returns on autopilot. He rides up to his room on complete autopilot, body continuing on while his mind continues to reel.

Reality doesn’t come back until he is walking through the door of his hotel room and he sees Luke-

His breathe rushes out of him and then he stops breathing altogether in rapid succession.

Because Luke is laying on the bed in his pajamas, adorable pink fuzzy socks on his feet, while he reads the book Spencer had finished on the plane ride over; First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A new story about anxiety.

There is a smidge of toothpaste at the corner of his mouth.

Spencer drops his bag to the floor with a thump.

He’s so beautiful. He’s been beautiful since day one. His handsome face, his strong arms, his hair and his adorable teeth. His teeth are adorable to Spencer. And everything else about him. The way he bonded with the team so fast, became loyal to them before they even let him know them properly. The way he jokes with Tara and Garcia, the voice he uses with scared kids, the way he’s so god damned empathetic all the time Spencer doesn’t know how it hasn’t burned him up yet. He’s perfect, a White Knight and a real person rolled into one just like Spencer used to dream about when he was young.

He’s in love.

He thinks he’s going to pass out.

Luke looks up front the book and smiles. He puts his bookmark in and rolls, so he is sitting on the corner of the bed, navy blue pajama pants twisting delectably around his thighs.

“Hey,” he says, voice rough with a hint of gravel, Spencer thinks because he’s been absorbed in the book for a while, “I was wondering when you would get in. I was gonna suggest we get some room service or something ‘cause I really don’t want to put on proper clothes-”

And Spencer can’t take it anymore.

He strides across the space between them and leans down to kiss Luke, cutting him off midsentence. His hands go to his hair, twining through the thick black stands, and his knees land either side of Luke’s hips. The kiss is desperate, sloppy and shaking with emotion.

Luke gasps against his mouth and Spencer pushes through the haze in his mind enough to start to pull away-

-only for Luke to bring a hand up to cup Spencer's head. He twines his fingers through Spencer's hair in return and gently angles his head, so they can deepen the kiss.

Spencer moans and drops down to sit properly in Luke’s lap. Their clothed cocks rub together and Spencer shivers from the feeling.

Luke’s free hand slips up his back, rucking up his vest and pulling his shirt out of his pants so he can get at the skin of Spencers back. His fingers run up Spencer's spine and and-

Spencer breaks the kiss, so he can push Luke back on the bed. Luke flops down, eyes glassy and face flushed, his hair fluffing up out of its slicked back state where Spencer has been running his hands through it. They haven’t been kissing for that long, but he already looks so flushed, so turned on. He looks so beautiful that Spencer can’t keep in a groan.

Luke’s hands settle on his hips, mouth dropping open when Spencer rolls them and presses their growing erections together tantalizingly.

“Fuck,” He moans, grip tightening, “I’m not- fuck- complaining, but where did this come from?”

“Come from?” Spencer asks.

He drops down and sucks the skin of Luke’s neck just under his jaw into his mouth. Luke bucks and keens under him, pressing them together more firmly.

“It's coming from you and your smile and your mile-wide protective streak, your laugh, your fucking arms-”

“My arms?” Luke chuckles.

“Yes,” Spencer sighs as raises his head, he retracts a hand from Luke’s hair to trail it down and squeeze his bicep, “Hmmm.”

Luke lets out a shaky breath and before Spencer can continue the slow torture of kissing and grinding, he is putting his amazing arms to use to flip them over.

Luke’s full weight presses him down into the mattress and Spencer shivers. God, he didn’t realize he missed this. The intimacy, the pleasant hum of growing arousal and want yes- but being pressed down, held down by someone. He hasn’t had that in a long time and never with someone so so … muscularly inclined.

He runs a hand up Luke’s back and feels all his muscles flex, and promptly forgets every word he has ever learned except-

Luke, fuck.”

Luke sets a steady rhythm of long, hard, rolls of his hips. One of his hands comes back to its hold in Spencer's hair and turns his head so Luke can kiss him, tongue skimming his mouth and making him shiver.

Its been so long. Been too long, and with the desperate air between them, Spencer knows he won’t last much longer. The hand he had on Luke’s back moves down, strokes over every clothed muscle and sinew, and slips into the waistband of his pants. His fingers slip around the waistband until his knuckles are brushing against the skin under Luke’s bellybutton.

He breaks his mouth away from the kiss with a gasp.

“Please,” he pants, looking up into Luke’s wide brown eyes, “Please I want to-”

“Yeah,” Luke whines, whole body shivering when Spencer dips his fingers further into his pants, “Please, I’ll- anything. Fuck.”

Spencer grins up at him, feeling somewhat triumphant for reducing him to sentence fragments. Then he slips his hand down into Luke’s pants, grin slipping when he feels he isn’t wearing any underwear, and he wraps his hand around Luke’s cock.

Luke groans like he has been gut-punched and Spencer makes a slight change to his plan. The frantic energy that propelled him across the room is still running through his veins making him more confident than he would be usually. And Luke looks so alive above him, panting and blushing and so god damned beautiful.

He gives Luke a good firm stroke and then retracts his hand, making him let out a disappointed groan. He pushes down the waistband of Luke’s pants until he can’t reach them anymore, and Luke kicks them off. He looks so good, his thighs just as tantalizing and muscular as Reid knew they would be. And his cock- well genitals don’t tend to be beautiful, but Reid is sure that Luke’s large full cock is the prettiest he’s ever seen. Which is probably a weird thing to think, but his blood isn’t exactly primarily in his brain right now.

“I haven’t done this in a while,” Spencer admits in a whisper between kisses against his throat, “I’m probably a bit rusty.”

Spencer places his hands on the backs of Luke’s thighs just under his ass and Luke moans.

“Trust me whatever you do will more than do it for me,” Luke slurs, kneeling up over Spencer to shrug his shirt off so he is deliciously naked, “I think just looking at you like this … God, Reid.”

Looking up at Luke he knows exactly what he means. A shiver runs through his body and his pants are suddenly so tight it's painful. So much perfect brown skin, stretching on for miles above him. He devours it with his eyes, his hands, and his mouth waters.

“Come on,” he says, pulling Luke forward by his thighs, “Come on, Luke.”

Luke’s eyes widen when he realizes what Spencer wants, and Spencer is in the privileged position of seeing his dick twitch. He swears something in Spanish but follows Reid’s guiding hands up his chest. Before he can reach his destination though he reaches down, and yanks Spencers tie off.

“How are you still wearing so much,” he whines, throwing the tie away in disdain, “when I’m not wearing a shred of clothing?”

“Well, that’s not true?”

Luke frowns down at him.

“Huh?”

Spencer nods down to where Luke’s feet at skimming his sides. Encased in fluffy pink socks.

Luke blushes. He’s sitting on Spencer's chest wearing next to nothing, everything he has on display, and this is what makes him blush?

Spencer really has to get his mouth on him. Now.

He hauls Luke up the last few inches and places a hand on his back so he leans down. This places his hands on the bed above Spencer's bed and his dick right above his mouth. One more guiding hand against Luke’s ass and then he is swallowing down his cock.

Its probably a bit of an adventurous position for a first time having sex with someone. But Spencer needs to feel Luke’s weight on top of him, pressing him down, keeping him from flying apart. He’s at Luke’s mercy, dependent on his self-control stopping him from just thrusting down into Spencer's mouth. But Luke is at his mercy too, he thinks to himself just before he squeezes the firm globes of Luke’s ass and twirls his tongue around his cock at the same time.

Fuck,” Luke breathes, “Oh god, Spencer.”

Luke seems to like it though.

Above him Luke’s hips are shaking from holding back as he sucks him deeper and sloppier, keeping up a slow sucking pace. He can feel his own body shaking as his arousal grows, he can feel spit dripping down his chin and his throat beginning to burn but he loves it. He’s missed this and Luke is so responsive, so beautiful, he could lay here and do this to him for months.

Luke’s body bows, and his front half drops down onto the bed. There is the sound of stretching fabric and Spencer thinks he is making fists in the bedspread.

“Hnng,” he moans, the sound muffled, “Ah querido, I’m not gonna- fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer!”

Spencer hums around Luke’s cock and Luke swears, his hips jolting forwards with the feeling, not enough to make him gag but enough to pleasantly burn. He squeezes Luke’s ass again to pull him down closer, feeling his body begin to tighten as his orgasm approaches. He slips his fingers down between his cheeks, pressing teasingly against his hole.

Luke reacts instantly. Me jolts and then is moving, drawing up and away from Spencer, pulling out of his mouth, and before he can protest or ask what he did wrong, Luke moans, Spencer watches his eyes roll back in his skull, and then Luke is coming all over Spencer's face.

“Fuck…” Luke breathes, body shaking as he hovers over Reid, “Oh holy fuck,”

“Yeah,” Spencer agrees, clearing his throat against the new croak in his voice, “I agree.”

Luke grins down at him. And then the lust born haze clears from his eyes and he looks embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he winces, climbing off Spencer to kneel on the bed beside him, hand hovering over the worst of the mess on his neck, “You kind of startled it out of me.”

Spencer grins up at him. He can almost physically feel his ego inflating.

Oh, well. Maybe that’s not his ego.

“Don’t feel bad, I liked it. I mean I was planning on swallowing but-”

Luke groans as he’s climbing over Spencer to go to the en-suite.

“I cannot get hard again that fast, Man.”

Spencer chuckles. He’s flattered to know he has an effect on Luke, glad to know they are on equal ground.

He sits up when Luke comes back with a damp face towel and begins whipping off his face and neck. A hand runs through his hair soothingly as he does and Spencer shivers when he accidentally tugs a little on the strands. He’s suddenly reminded of his painful aroused state.

Luke throws the towel back into the en-suite and then Spencer is being pulled to his feet. Luke doesn’t slow down, hands moving deftly over him to pull off his vest and unbutton his shirt, throwing them to the floor like they personally offended him.

“Take off your shoes,” he says as he’s unbuckling Spencers belt.

“The laces-”

“Slip them off.”

Spencer shivers at the tone of command in Luke’s voice and steady’s himself on his shoulders while he slips them off.

Luke does some kind of slight of hand with his fingers because his pants unbutton and unzip the second his belt is undone, and he is stepping out of them when Luke’s hands slip down the back of his boxers and cup his ass.

Spencer gasps and curls closer to Luke, feeling like his skin is electrified.

Luke kneads his ass and kisses up his throat.

“That was some very elaborate sex for what I’m thinking wasn’t a planned seduction.”

Spencer shivers and moans as Luke moves to wedge his leg between his, his thigh pressing up against Spencer's hard cock.

“I-uh, I may have thought about us- about you, a lot.”

“Hmmm? What else did you think about?”

Spencer raises his head and looks Luke in the eye, biting his lip before he speaks. A thrill runs through him at the way Luke’s eyes trail the movement.

“Thought about fucking you,” he confesses and Luke moans, “Thought about you fucking me- especially in the SUV-”

“In the car?” Luke laughs, “You kinky bastard.”

Reid blushes.

“It’s a fantasy not- not something I would ever ever let you do.”

Luke’s grin turns cocky.

“You fantasize about me.”

Spencer rolls his eyes, ignoring how the force of Luke’s smile makes his cheeks heat.

“See,” Luke continues, still idly groping at his ass, “When I pictured us together-”

Spencer's breath catches in this throat.

“-I always imagined you showing up at my door, dripping wet from the rain and out of breath. You’d raced across town because you couldn’t help yourself anymore, couldn’t stop yourself from barging in a kissing me right then and there.”

He kisses Spencer, and it's soft and sweet.

“So, you can see that my fantasies have been satisfied.”

“I don’t believe that for a second.”

Luke chuckles.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m good. More than good after having your amazing mouth on me,” he kisses up Spencer's throat and bites softly at his jaw, “I wanna know what you want. What you need.”

He punctuates the last word with a particularly firm squeeze and it punches a moan out of Spencer. His body naturally follows the movement and he starts rolling his hips down onto Luke’s thigh and then back into his hands. His arms tighten around Luke’s neck as another helpless moan rips out of him. He feels overwhelmed and warm from Luke’s touch and he’s so close-

“I’ve also thought about on the jet.”

“The jet!” Spencer gasps against his throat, whole body starting to shiver.

“Hmmm,” Luke hums, tilting his head to whisper in Spencer's ear, “Just the two of us stretched out on the couch- or sneaking off into the bathroom while the rest of the team are asleep.”

It’s a completely unrealistic fantasy, Spencer would never ever let it happen but-

“Holy fuck,” he gasps, hips pressing down harder against Luke’s thigh.

“Think you could keep quiet enough?” Luke asks, voice teasing as his lips brush against his ear, “Think you could hold back all your noises-”

He squeezes Spencer's ass at the same time as he presses his thigh upwards and Spencer moans like he’s dying.

“-all your beautiful moans, to yourself, huh? Even as I sucked you off-”

“Oh god.”

“-even as I fucked you?”

Spencer shudders violently, only keeps from flying to pieces because of how closely he is pressed to Luke, and then his whole body is flooding with heat as his hips press down and he comes, hard.

Luke holds him through it, hands guiding his hips to keep rolling even after he’s gone limp against him, only stopping when Spencer whines from the over stimulation. Then he moves them back towards the bed and pushes Spencer down on to it softly. He peels his underwear down, takes a moment to stare down at him with a hungry look in his eyes, and then goes to grab a towel to clean him up with for the second time tonight.

When he’s finished he lays down next to Reid, completely unabashed in his nakedness, and curls an arm across his stomach. He’s so warm and soft, and his eyes so endlessly brown, Spencer is helpless against him. He shifts closer to Luke, pressing against him. Luke smiles at the gestures and Spencer hopes that he understands. That this wasn’t a one-time thing, that it’s not about sex, that Spencer feels so strongly for him he can hardly breathe from it but he’s too terrified to speak it aloud because every time he’s done that in the past has ended in tears.

Luke trails his nose up his neck and kisses his jaw and Spencer thinks he understands just fine.

“You know,” Luke says after a long while of just laying together, trailing touches across each other with no heat behind them, “I don’t think I’d heard you curse before tonight.”

A blush spreads across his cheeks.

“I, uh, I kind of forgot all other descriptive words when I saw you.”

Luke laughs and hauls himself up onto an elbow to smile down at him.

“You keep sayin’ all these cute things, Spencer Reid, and I might just have to keep you.”

Spencer smiles back.

“Okay.”

 

They trail down to dinner in the hotels dining room much later than they intended and find the rest of the team there. They tell them that the kitchen has stayed open later than usual as a thank you for catching Timmins, though they still aren’t allowed to order off menu.

“Did anyone manage to get a nap in?” Emily asks as they are being served their food.

“Urgh, no,” Garcia complains, rubbing at her neck with a grimace, “A couple on the floor above me was having really loud sex.”

The schematics of the hotel flash through Spencer's mind and he looks across at Luke with wide eyes. Luke looks back, obviously coming to the same conclusion from the horror dawning in his expression.

The team doesn’t seem to notice, too distracted by their meals.

All except Tara, who looks between the two of them knowingly, grins and raises her wine glass in a salute.

Nice, she mouths, and Spencer honestly feels like he is going to die of embarrassment.

Luke doesn’t look that much different, so at least he won’t be alone.

That’s a plus.