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In A Sky Full of Stars (I Only See You)

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***

 

 

 

 

Yoongi is a ghost- a spirit, a lost soul, whatever- he sure as hell isn't alive and solid. If the fact that he could phase through solid objects didn’t give it away, it was the lack of heartbeat Yoongi seemed to feel through himself. It was also just the general feeling of coldness that confirmed Yoongi’s hypothesis.

 

He wasn’t quite sure how he had died. It seemed odd that he retained a lot of information about who he was and how the world worked, but he couldn’t remember the most crucial part of his life besides his birth- his death.

 

He actually doesn’t mind it that much. He knew that when he was alive, he didn’t like socializing all too much, and it seemed to have transferred into the afterlife, or whatever his state of being was.

 

He would spend his time fucking around with people. At first, when someone would move in, it would be little things. He would place items in spots that they wouldn’t belong. Then he would switch out items, like milk and cream, watching as his clueless victims got thoroughly confused.

 

Yoongi’s favorite thing to do, though, were things that were so obviously not supposed to happen, like make baby powder blow out of a hairdryer or make the water in faucets red with dye.

 

It was fun to see the looks of confused horror cross people’s faces as they processed what happened. At first, without fail, they would call to their roommate, cursing at them with a vocabulary so colorful it shocked even Yoongi. There would then be the argument that would always follow because obviously, the poor, unsuspecting roommate didn’t do such an evil deed.

 

It may have been a little cruel, but Yoongi was dead and alone so he was trying to have some fun.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Yoongi is drifting around an empty dorm, idly thinking about what tricks he could pull today. He could replace someone’s toothpaste with hot sauce, or turn on the fire alarm or-

 

The sound of hinges creaking brings Yoongi’s attention to the door and he sees a man- boy- walk in with his arms carrying a box and a bag slung over his shoulder. He is shuffling around, trying to get the key out of the door without dropping anything. It ultimately fails as the boy trips over his own feet and drops the box in his arms. He lets out a small yelp and flails his arms, catching himself from falling against the door. The boy lets out a small huff and pouts his lips in a way that Yoongi can only describe as adorable.

 

Yoongi chuckles at the whole scene but immediately stops when the boy’s head whips to Yoongi’s direction, his eyes wide with surprise.

 

“Oh- I’m sorry I must-” The boy stutters, flustered. “I didn’t realize you were in here- they must have given me the wrong key…”

 

Now it's Yoongi’s turn to be shocked. He turns his head to make sure that there was no one else in the dorm- there isn’t. So who is this boy talking to?

 

“I’ll just go down and- talking to them…” The boy mumbles as he turns.

 

“Wait!” Yoongi shouts as he moves forward slightly and- holy shit- the boy stops in his tracks and turns around.

 

“Yes?” The boy asks meekly.

 

“You- y-you can see me?” Yoongi asks. His hands are shaking and he has no doubt that if he still had a heartbeat, it would be going absolutely crazy right now.

 

“What are you talking about?” The boy asks with an exasperated tone. “Of course I can se-”

 

The boy stops mid-sentence as his eyes scan Yoongi, disbelief crosses his features.

 

“Holy shit!” The boy almost yells as his eyes widen. “You’re transparent!”

 

“You can see me?” Yoongi asks again, his voice shaking slightly because no one has ever seen him before. He’s a ghost!

 

“You’re transparent!?” The boy asks again and Yoongi supposes that that is a valid point- but not more valid than the fact that the boy can see Yoongi.

 

They stand there for a moment, both of them with their jaws dropped and just staring at the other in complete shock.

 

“Are…” The boy begins, his eyes still large and looking Yoongi up and down. “Are you a hologram?”

 

“Uh.. no...” Yoongi says lamely because what the fuck else was he supposed to say? The boy stares at him for a long time before his eyes widen even more and he lets out a small gasp.

 

“Are you a ghost?!” The boy’s voice is laced with disbelief.

 

“Uh… yeah…” Yoongi replies just as lamely as before, still really unsure of what to say.

 

“Cool… cool...” The boy says but the wary expression he has on his face tells Yoongi that it is definitely not “cool”.

 

“I’ll… I’ll just go and let you… unpack…” Yoongi says slowly, gliding slightly towards the door that the boy is standing in.

 

“Oh… okay alright… cool...” The boy nods vigorously and stands back to let Yoongi through the doorway which has Yoongi snorting because he’s a ghost and he doesn’t need someone to move out of the way for him to go through a door. He can go through the fucking walls but Yoongi supposes he should try to not traumatize the boy any more than he already has.

 

“Okay… uhh… I guess I’ll see you around…” Yoongi shrugs awkwardly and offers the boy a small wave when he is in the hallway.

 

“Yeah… cool...,” The boy breathes. “See you around…”

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Yoongi feels almost giddy as he glides down the hallway to the room he was in yesterday; the room of the boy who could see him.

 

Yoongi thinks its a dream, it has to be. No one has ever seen Yoongi before so it has to be a dream…

 

But Yoongi doesn’t dream. Yoongi doesn’t sleep so how could he be dreaming?

 

Yoongi stops when he’s in front of the room and reads the number. Room 138. He stands in front of the door for an uncomfortable amount of time, anxiety eating him up. What if it was a dream that he had conjured up because he was feeling lonely-

 

The door opens up with such violent force Yoongi doesn’t even have time to react before the boy from yesterday is standing in front of him and rushing towards him. Yoongi instinctively puts his hands up to stop the boy before he even remembers that Yoongi is transparent and not solid.

 

Turns out he doesn’t need to put his hands up because the boy stops right in front of him with force.

 

“Oh, shit sor-” The boy’s eyes widen and recognition crosses his features. “Oh… hey… it's you…”

 

Yoongi puts his hands down and smiles awkwardly, waving in an equally awkward manner.

 

“Hey… yeah… it’s me…”

 

“Huh…” The boy huffs. “I guess I’m not going insane… Thank God.”

 

“Wha-” Yoongi blanches at the boy’s words and raises an eyebrow. “You thought I wasn’t real?”

 

“Well, yeah,” The boy says with an incredulous tone. “I mean, you’re a ghost, of course, I would think I was dreaming… or I could still be crazy…”

 

“Hey, kid, for your information, I’m real,” Yoongi gasps.

 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what a hallucination would say, though.” The boy says seriously although the small smirk on his face betrays his tone. Silence falls over them for a brief moment until it is interrupted by a soft ‘meow’. The boy practically jumps three feet in the air and rushes out of the doorway, taking care to avoid Yoongi even though Yoongi isn’t solid and the boy could just pass through the ghost.

 

“Fuck- shit…” The boy hisses as he ducks behind Yoongi, again, regardless of the fact that Yoongi was a ghost.

 

“You alright kid?” Yoongi asks with a raised eyebrow, smirking slightly at the sight of the boy behind him.

 

“Uhh yeah, it’s just…” There’s another ‘meow’ and the boy curses again. “It’s just that there’s a cat in my room and I’m- like- really fucking allergic to cats so I’m kinda… kinda in a pickle.”

 

Yoongi laughs at the boy’s choice of words but stops when he sees the boys serious expression. Something about the hopelessness in the boy’s expression makes Yoongi feel a sense of protectiveness over the boy.

 

“Okay, give me one sec…” Yoongi sighs and drifts into the room, taking note of the numerous boxes inhabiting the floor. Yoongi glides through the small dorm until he goes into the room in the back, the bedroom. The window on the back wall is open and under it is a cat. Small and grey with a couple black stripes. It sits pensively on its legs as its tail flicks back and forth.

 

“Alrighty…” Yoongi approaches the cat and immediately, the fur along the feline’s back stands up. The cat hisses and stands up on its legs. Yoongi gets closer and the cat gets more distressed and tense. Eventually, Yoongi is about ten feet from the cat when it jumps up on the window sill and bolts out of sight. Yoongi sticks his head out of the window to look for the cat but sees nothing so he pulls his head back into the room and walks back to the door, still in the dorm.

 

“Alright kid… cats gone…”

 

“Oh thank fuck…” The boy sighs as his shoulders relax. The boy walks into his room but stops and turns around to face Yoongi, who had made his way through the doorway and back into the hallway. “Umm… do… do you want to come in?”

 

“I’m already in your dorm, though,” Yoongi teases.

 

The boy glares at him and it’s kind of adorable.

 

“Well I was just trying to be polite-” The boy whines. “Inviting you in, my hallucination who just saved… my life…”

 

“Ha... uh okay.” Yoongi chuckles but feels a little awkward as he drifts to the door and gently nudges it closed. The boy’s eyes widen at that and Yoongi can see the gears in his mind trying to work out what he just saw. “Uh… I can interact with inanimate objects…”

 

The boy nods his head before his face lights up.

 

“Oh, that’s great. You can help me look for something!” The boy turns around and instantly starts to dig in a box close to him (the fuck? Who just asks a ghost to help them find something?). “Can you help me find the vacuum?”

 

“You have a vacuum in one of these boxes?” Is the first question Yoongi asks. “Why a vacuum?”

 

“It’s handheld-”

 

“All vacuums are handheld,” Yoongi interrupts the boy and chuckles at the scowl the boy throws him, clearly not amused by Yoongi’s statement.

 

“Fuck you. It's a small vacuum. I need it to vacuum up the cat hair or else I’ll die .” The boy sighs exasperatedly and Yoongi chuckles again, amused by the small huff the boy lets out as he closes the box he was searching through. Yoongi decides to have some mercy and moves to a nearby box, opening up the lid and digging through the contents of the box.

 

They are silent as they search and it takes about an hour for the boy to find the vacuum. It is indeed very small.

 

“Here it is,” He cheers holding up the vacuum.

 

“Ah fucking finally,” Yoongi huffs as he sits down with a grunt.

 

“What’s up with you?” The boy asks with a raised eyebrow. “You act like you have just run a marathon.”

 

“I’ll have you know it actually takes energy to interact with all this shit,” Yoongi grumbles.

 

“Wait…” The boy’s eyes widen comically large. “Really, so like- you have to concentrate to touch stuff?”

 

Yoongi nods.

 

“So… if you just didn’t concentrate… you would- like- fall through the floor?”

 

“No,” Yoongi shakes his head. “I just float around like this and phase through things so…”

 

“Wow…” The boy has a look of wonder and awe across his face, which quickly morphs into another confused expression. “Wait… so gravity doesn’t affect you but you can interact with object...? Are you actually made of matter- wait no… if you are made of matter then you wouldn’t phase through stuff… unless your atoms are so spread apart that you go through the object… but there are enough atoms that I can see you…”

 

The boy drifts off in a series of incoherent mumbles, a frown on his face that makes a small pout appear on his face.

 

“Look, kid,” Yoongi decides to interrupt the boy’s missing when Yoongi thinks the boy’s mind is going to explode. “I have no idea what the science behind me is but I just know I’m here so…”

 

Yoongi shrugs and the boy just looks at him. Yoongi could see his mind was still working but he guessed the boy understood that he wasn’t going to get any answers.

 

“Alright…” The boy says with a shrug and stands up. He walks over to the small kitchen area and digs around in a cupboard. He pulls out a box of face masks and takes one out, putting it on with a funny amount of determination. He then walks into the bedroom and Yoongi follows quietly.

 

He watches as the boy maneuvers around the room, vacuuming every surface. Yoongi chuckles as the boy practically scurries around the room with the vacuum held out in front of him like a weapon. The boy finishes after a short amount of time- because the room is really not that big. The two of them walk back into the main room and Yoongi watches as the boy disposes of the contents of the vacuum.

 

“Are you that allergic to cats?” Yoongi asks with a raised eyebrow.

 

“Yes, I am! Plus I’m a college student,” The boy sighs with an exasperated tone. “I can’t afford to go the hospital because I touch a stray piece of cat hair…”  

 

The boy goes back to messing with the vacuum (don’t ask Yoongi what the boy is doing. He has no idea.) and Yoongi looks at the boy for the first time since the other day. The boy is about the same height as Yoongi, maybe a little shorter. His hair is a bright, fire truck blonde and his skin fair. He is wearing a soft looking sweater that was a few inches too long at the sleeves and loose shorts that reveal his calves.

 

His eyes are warm and kind, and his lips full. His face is slim too, but there is some slight chubbiness lingering on the top of his cheeks but they actually make him look… cute.

 

The boy is actually kind of pretty...

 

Yoongi shakes his head and dismisses the thoughts in his head.

 

“I’m Jimin, by the way,” The boy says, walking away from the garbage and setting the vacuum on the counter in the kitchen.

 

“Uh… Yoongi,” Yoongi says lamely. His name felt foreign on his tongue for he has not said his name in at least a year.

 

“Cool, nice to meet you Yoongi,” The boy- Jimin- smiles and it's so wide it makes his eyes turn into little crescents. “So… you’re a ghost, huh?”

 

Jimin walks over to the couch and sits down, asking the question as if it's the most normal thing in the world.

 

“Yup,” Yoongi shrugs and walks over to the couch, standing awkwardly in front of it. Jimin’s eyebrows are furrowed again and he his staring at Yoongi, again, with a confused expression.

 

“Cool...,” Jimin whispers and his eyebrows furrow even more, making Yoongi chuckle, which eventually turns into a laugh.

 

“What’s so funny?” Jimin asks, confusion painted across his features.

 

“It's just… you look like you’re going to hurt yourself from thinking too much,” Yoongi chuckles, feeling an unfamiliar warmth seep through him. Gosh- when was the last time Yoongi actually laughed? “I’m not some freaky science experiment for you to experiment on.”  

 

“Oh,” Jimin’s eyes widen with worry and panic. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to… I was just- sorry.”

 

“Hey kid, don’t worry about it,” Yoongi shrugs. “What are you studying here?”

 

“Oh, I’m an astronomy major,” Jimin says quietly.

 

“Huh, so you’re finding out if aliens actually exist or not?” Yoongi asks with a smirk.

 

“Aliens totally exist but that’s not really what I do,” Jimin says. “I just do calculations a lot. Mainly just the distance and heat and size of stars.”

 

“Huh, that explains it,” Yoongi chuckles.

 

“What?” Jimin asks, his tone defensive.

 

“Oh, it's just you were rambling about how I was scientifically impossible so it makes sense you are smart.” Yoongi shrugs nonchalantly but pauses when he sees the blush spread across Jimin’s face.

 

“Oh sorry,” Jimin says shyly. “I do that sometimes I just get… excited…”

 

“Hey hey… don’t worry about it…” Yoongi replies with a shrug, suddenly feeling awkward. He hasn’t had a conversation in god knows how long, and it obviously showed. “Well… I’ll just let you… unpack and I guess I’ll… go, yeah…”

 

Yoongi turns around to head out the door but is stopped when he hears a small voice.

 

“Um…” Jimin stands awkwardly, fidgeting with the cuff of his sleeve. “Do you want to… um… I don’t know… do you want to stay and hang out?”

 

“What? So you can dissect me and study me?” Yoongi chuckles and he feels good when he sees the nervous expression on Jimin’s face turn into a grin.

 

“You idiot. I’m an astronomy major! I don’t know how to dissect things,” Jimin chuckles. “And you’re incorporeal! How the fuck am I supposed to dissect you?”

 

“I don’t know,” Yoongi shrugs and puts his hands up in a sort of mock-arrest. “But, yeah, I can stay… if you want.”

 

The cheeky grin on Jimin’s face falters for a moment as surprise crosses his features but then his lips form a smile so big it had Yoongi almost shocked.

 

“Okay, thanks,” Jimin replies sweetly and then he turns around and walks to a box, Yoongi following him. “Um… I’m just going to unpack and I guess… you can just hang out if you want…”

 

So, as Jimin unpacks, Yoongi watches him and sometimes helps him.

 

 

And they talk.

 

Their conversation is a bit stiff at first, falling into awkward silences in between, but they manage to eventually move past the stilted words.

 

Yoongi learns Jimin is from Busan and is just starting his freshman year at the University of Seoul. Yoongi learns that Jimin is technically supposed to be a Junior, but he took two years of classes at the community college in Busan, worked three jobs, and saved up enough money to pay for his studies at the university where he is getting his Ph.D. (the fuck? This kid is smart!).

 

Yoongi learns that Jimin actually really enjoys astronomy and learning about the insane size of the universe. Yoongi learns that Jimin used to dance and still does sometimes when he is free. Yoongi learns that Jimin has no sense of interior decoration and Yoongi has to help him with where to put things like the small table that obviously looks better in the middle of the kitchen rather than up against a wall.

 

Yoongi also learns that Jimin is kinda really fucking adorable. That when he talks he makes gestures a lot, that he likes to make sweater paws, that when he giggles he covers his mouth with the palm of his hand.

 

“Fuck… finally…” Jimin sighs and flops down on the couch that they had just finished putting together. Jimin sniffles and then sneezes, causing some of his hair to fall into his face. He brushes it off and murmurs something under his breath about “stupid fucking cats” and Yoongi drifts over to the couch, “sitting” down on it as well.

 

“For someone who looks like they’re twelve, you sure curse a lot,” Yoongi muses with a grin.

 

“Fuck off,” Jimin gasps, offended. “How can you say I look like I’m twelve?”

 

“You’re so short,” Yoongi scoffs.

 

“Hey, you’re no shorter than I am, what the fuck?” Jimin gasps again, just as offended.

 

“You don’t know that!” Yoongi scoffs again. “I don’t have feet so how are you supposed to know how tall I am?”

 

For emphasis, Yoongi extends his legs, passing through the couch, and shows Jimin his legs.  At his ankles, his body faded and where his feet should have been, was nothing. Jimin just looks at Yoongi’s not existent feet and pouts, obviously trying to come up with a comeback but failing.

 

“I have abs…” Jimin is still pouting as he huffs and crosses his arms, falling back against the couch again.

 

“Really,” Yoongi asked with a raised eyebrow. “Show me.”

 

“Yoongi!” Jimin gasps and brings a hand over his heart. “At least take me to dinner first.”

 

They both chuckle and Yoongi tries to remember the last time he had smiled and it had felt this warm.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Yoongi! Come here for a second!!” Yoongi hears Jimin call out.

 

It has only been a week since Yoongi and Jimin had met, but Yoongi was finding himself hanging around the redhead constantly. Yoongi wasn’t quite sure why Jimin was so relaxed around him, Yoongi was a fucking ghost for fuck's sake, but he wasn’t complaining.

 

Yoongi drifts in the direction of Jimin’s voice, passing through a wall. He sees Jimin in the small kitchen with a look of concentration on his face. Yoongi drifts closer but immediately stops when Jimin’s expression turns into one of defeat.

 

“Ah goddamnit!” Jimin exclaims and throws his hands up.

 

“What?” Yoongi asks, an eyebrow raised as he stares at Jimin with a dumbfounded expression.

 

“It’s just…” Jimin’s eye dart to the floor underneath Yoongi as if he was shy and then he looks back up at Yoongi. “I was running an experiment…”

 

“You were… what experiment…?” Yoongi cuts himself off when he follows Jimin’s gaze and he looks behind himself, a small chuckle escaping his lips as his eyes land on what Jimin was looking at. Behind him, about half a meter, was a small ring of white powder.

 

Salt.

 

Yoongi bursts into laughter- loud, genuine laughter. He laughs for so long his cheeks hurt from smiling too widely and his stomach hurts from clenching his abs for too long.

 

When Yoongi recovers, he looks up at Jimin and laughs again at the pout and violent blush on the redhead’s face.

 

“You’re a- you’re a fucking astronomy major- and you calculate… you do a bunch of calculations-” Yoongi breaths out between laughs. “And you thought- that- that would work?”

 

Jimin’s pout only gets bigger and he crosses his arms with a huff.

 

“You’re a ghost! You are technically scientifically impossible so I’m just trying stuff.” Jimin huffs and Yoongi raises an eyebrow. “I also saw them using salt in Supernatural so…”

 

Yoongi can only laugh again.

 

“You based your experiment on something you saw in a TV show?” Yoongi asks after he has recovered (which was a while). The small nod that Jimin does makes the smile return on Yoongi’s face and he sighs. “Park Jimin, you are something else…”

 

Yoongi realizes it a little later, but he has forgotten how long it has been since he had laughed like that.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Jimin’s classes start a week later and eventually, over the course of a month, the two of them fall into the rhythm of things and Jimin settles in. His textbooks start to cover the coffee table, most of them open wide, neon-colored sticky notes slowly covering them. Papers begin to appear between the pages of the books, scattered on top of them and a few remaining on the floor after they had fallen. Piles of pens and paper clips and random crap become stacked on the corners of the table.

 

Jimin has classes in the morning (physics and English, which Jimin hates both with a passion) and a class at night (astrological studies, which Jimin absolutely loves). So, they have the whole afternoon to relax together, exchanging stories.

 

Jimin tells Yoongi about his family in Busan; his one friend Jeongguk who once ate an entire whipped cream can in one sitting, or his dog who used to have a weird habit of putting all the pillows in the house in a pile.

 

Yoongi tells Jimin about the pranks he played on people; the one time he placed tennis balls in this one guy’s shoes every day, or the one-time Yoongi kept making this one girl’s alarm clock keep going off.

 

It becomes a habit, them relaying moments of their days to each other. Jimin would tell Yoongi everything he could recollect, from his lecture during his first class, to the cute cat he saw on his way to lunch, to the small bird he saved from said cat (which was apparently a lot less cute once Jimin got closer).

 

("Aren't you allergic to cats?

 

"I can still think one is cute!!")

 

It was awkward at first, the two of them testing the waters; both hesitant to share parts of their life (or afterlife) in fear of saying something awkward or too personal but eventually, they both opened up to each other and it was almost scary how quickly they fell into the habit so naturally and comfortably.

 

“Isn’t that a little cruel?” Jimin giggles and asks when Yoongi finishes telling Jimin about the one time Yoongi placed air horns around someone’s dorm, under the chair, behind the door, everywhere.

 

“Oh come on,” Yoongi sighs. “I’m dead and alone. At least let me have a little fun.”

 

At those words, Jimin’s expression falters. He looks at Yoongi with wide eyes and parted lips. A soft look of worry paints his features and Yoongi feels something inside of him twist.

 

“You… uh…” Jimin stutters and furrows his eyebrows, trying to formulate his words. “How is it? Being dead? Like… do you remember stuff from your life or do you just…?”

 

“I…” Yoongi tilts his head to the side, thinking. “I remember bits and pieces of my life… like stuff that I liked to do and stuff that I did… but I don’t really remember people. Like- I can remember a moment and I know there were other people there with me and I can see their body but I can just… I can never see their faces… it kinda just gets blurry- I don’t know…”

 

Formulating the words he had never said out loud before was tough and Yoongi is trying to explain to Jimin how Yoongi knew exactly who he was and what he did before he died, but sometimes, he feels like he doesn’t because he can’t remember the people who were in his life.

 

He doesn’t even remember his surname.

 

“Do you remember like… like stuff you used to do?” Jimin asks quietly.

 

“Yeah…” Yoongi cocks his head to the side as he thought. “I used to really like lamb skewers…”

 

Jimin smiles softly.

 

“I also used to play the piano…” Yoongi muses and he hears Jimin hum. Yoongi looks at the redhead, his eyes meeting the other’s. His full lips are slightly parted and his soft eyes are wide in awe.

 

“That’s… that’s cool…” Jimin says quietly, as if talking any louder would shatter something about this moment.

 

“I think I was pretty shit at it though…” Yoongi chuckles, breaking the suffocating tension that had appeared. Jimin looks at Yoongi with a shocked expression but slowly, a smile appears on his face.

 

“I doubt that,” Jimin says wistfully with a small laugh, the gentle sound making Yoongi’s nonexistent heart do a weird flop. “You look like you are really good...”

 

Yoongi has a comment- a retort- on the tip of his tongue but the small smile the redhead is giving him makes the words get caught in the back of his throat.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It has been a two since classes have started and Yoongi should have seen it coming- the inevitable event in which a college student comes home absolutely drunk out of their mind. It was really just a fact of life. Yoongi can vaguely recall many nights where he had stumbled to his dorm after a night of drinking with his friends.

 

Yoongi drifts down the hallway of the dorm but stops when he sees Jimin standing in front of his door, slouching slightly. Yoongi drifts closer getting more and more confused at the sight of the redhead who should have been at his night class. Yoongi scans Jimin and notices that the redhead is holding out his keys but is stopped as if he had been frozen while unlocking the door.

 

“Jimin?” Yoongi whispers gently. At the sound of Yoongi’s voice, Jimin whips his head around, giving Yoongi a good look at his face. Jimin looks at him with hazy eyes and his mouth is parted slightly as if he forgot his lips were a part of his body.

 

He is so obviously drunk.

 

“Huh…” Jimin slurs, his gaze still unfocused. “Hi, Yoongi.”

 

Then Jimin beams at Yoongi but Yoongi only frowns more at just how drunk Jimin was.

 

“Hi, Jimin,” Yoongi says wearily. “Are you okay?”

 

Jimin opens his mouth but then he seems to have another idea and he shuts his mouth with a snap. He turns back to his door and then he pouts, just staring at his door and murmuring under his breath.

 

“Jimin?” Yoongi asks again, taking note of the gentle pink that dusts Jimin’s cheeks and nose.

 

“I can’t get into my dorm…” Jimin’s pout gets more… pouty, and Yoongi stars at the redhead, then to the keys in his hand, and then back up to Jimin’s face, in disbelief.

 

“What do you mean you can’t get into your dorm?” Yoongi asks, a small grin appearing on his face as he realizes nothing is wrong with Jimin. He is just drunk out of his mind and id apparently having trouble with his perfectly functional keys.

 

“I don’t know I’m just…” Jimin’s sentence trails off and he pouts, kicking the door weakly with a small whine. “Can you help me, Yoongi?”

 

Yoongi thought about teasing Jimin more, or maybe even refuse him, but the pout on Jimin’s lips and his big eyes made Yoongi internally curse himself for being so easily swayed by the helplessness of Jimin’s situation.

 

“Okay, give me a sec,” Yoongi sighs and he drifts through the door. He quickly unlocks the door from the inside with a loud click and opens the door to reveal a confused looking Jimin.

 

Jimin stumbles into the dorm and Yoongi shuts the door behind him, following the redhead as he shuffles over to the couch and plops down on it with an exasperated sigh, his head falling back against the backrest. Yoongi drifts over to the couch and feels slightly guilty at how little he is able to do for the poor, drunk college student. Yoongi could try and get water for Jimin but Yoongi was confident that he would drop the glass on the way to the couch.

 

“Yoongi…” Jimin says after a while. “I have reached a conclusion. And that conclusion is that I’m very drunk…”

 

Yoongi can’t help the loud chuckle that escapes his lips at Jimin’s words. The redhead’s expression is serious and his eyebrows are furrowed. His voice is singsong and lilting with the telltale Busan satoori that he'd told Yoongi that he had tried so hard to get rid of over the past few years but still always popped back up again when he was drunk, when he was sleepy, or when he was distracted.

 

“That seems like a good conclusion Jimin,” Yoongi chuckles.

 

“Do you want to hear a joke?” Yoongi almost blanches at the sudden change of topic and the enthusiasm in Jimin’s voice but he decides to go along with the redhead’s antics.

 

Jimin is the weirdest drunk person Yoongi has ever seen (and Yoongi has seen a lot of drunk people), but also the funniest.

 

“Sure Jimin,” Yoongi chuckles. “Why not?”

 

Jimin furrows his eyebrows and he parts his lips as he stares at his legs before crossing his legs on the couch. He then turns to Yoongi and takes a deep breath in preparation.

 

“Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?”

 

“Because they would steal all the boos.”

 

Jimin looks at him for a full, long minute before he points a finger at him and his lips turn into a pout.

 

“You can't say the punchline! You have to ask “why are ghosts banned?” and then I say the punchline! You can't steal my moment of glory!”

 

Yoongi fights back the smile that is about to appear on his face.

 

“But I’m a ghost! Don’t you think it would make sense that I would answer that joke?” Yoongi chuckles but all Jimin does is glare at him. “Okay, I'm sorry, I'll let you have the glory. Tell me another joke.”

 

Jimin seems satisfied with this.

 

“What do you call a pile of cats?”

 

“I don't know, what do you call a pile of cats?” Yoongi has to fight back the smirk when he sees Jimin’s eyes glint as he licks his lips and leans in a little.

 

“A meowntain.”

 

There’s a moment of silence before Yoongi cracks up laughing under Jimin’s victorious smirk.

 

“That’s so fucking dumb, oh my god,” Yoongi laughs.

 

“I’m a comedic genius,” Jimin says triumphantly. “I should just drop out of college and become a comedian. Screw astronomy!!”

 

Then Yoongi is laughing so hard it is making his stomach hurt and he tries to remember how long it has been since he has laughed this hard.

 

 

The hours pass and Jimin is still wide awake, sitting on the couch and telling horrible jokes, showing him his weird hidden talents, and Yoongi is laughing.

 

The situation gets worse after Jimin imitates, quite perfectly, the sound of a dolphin and keeps doing that for almost five minutes, running around the living room.

 

 

(Jimin ends up stopping mid-run and looks at Yoongi with wide eyes before he makes a groaning sound.

 

“Oh fuck,” Yoongi whispers and glides over to Jimin despite the little help Yoongi could offer. Jimin turns pale and maybe even a little green and Yoongi is panicking. “Come on we have to get to the bathroom…”

 

They somehow get to the bathroom just in time for Jimin to throw himself on top of the toilet and throw up.

 

“Ahh I just want to die,” Jimin groans as he holds on to the toilet, dramatically sprawled out across the bathroom floor.

 

"You'll feel like shit on a stick and you'll be green around the edges for a couple of days but you'll survive," Yoongi says, floating awkwardly by Jimin.

 

"How do you know??" Jimin half groans half whines before he's dry heaving again.

 

"I remember how it feels to be drunk," Yoongi chuckles. "And besides, don't you have a test next week?”

 

Jimin groans again.)

 

After about three hours, which means that it is three in the morning, Jimin’s mood dampens. Yoongi isn’t quite sure what happened but one moment, Jimin was showing him how he could move his ears, and then he was quietly sitting on his bed.

 

Yoongi is awkwardly floating near him and he doesn’t know what to do. Jimin has always been happy and lively around Yoongi, never once low in energy (except for those late nights of studying but even then, Jimin’s mood is gentle and almost aloof).

 

“Jimin?” Yoongi asks slowly. “Are you alright?”

 

Jimin brings his head up and meets Yoongi’s eyes and Yoongi sucks in a breath when he sees the tears in the redhead’s eyes.

 

“Jimin…” Yoongi starts out but immediately stops when he sees the tears fall from Jimin’s eyes and a small whine escapes his lips.

 

It happens slowly, the way Jimin’s face crumbles. At first, his eyebrows furrow, then his lips part, and then he is crying with his head bowed and small broken sounds coming from him.

 

“Jimin- shit, Jimin,” Yoongi panics and he floats around Jimin trying to get a look at his face. “Jimin are you alright?”

 

“Oh god…” Jimin cries and he brings his hands up to his face to desperately wipe the tears falling down his cheeks. “Oh fuck- I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m-”

 

“Hey Jimin,” Yoongi says sternly and Jimin meets his gaze, hiccuping a little. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I’m sorry…” Jimin starts again but Yoongi immediately cuts him off.

 

“Jimin its okay just… just tell me what’s wrong…” Yoongi cringes at how desperate his voice sounds but he doesn’t care as Jimin continues to cry.

 

“I’m sorry Y-Yoongi it's just… it's just it's my- and I just felt… I don’t know- what’s wrong w-with me… I just miss my family and I don’t know why I’m so affected b-by it right now- I just…”

 

Yoongi sucks in a breath when he takes in Jimin’s words.

 

“Jimin,” Yoongi says slowly and Jimin looks back up to meet Yoongi’s eyes. “Jimin, you’re homesick and its… it's completely normal to miss your family so don’t apologize for that.”

 

Jimin sniffles but thankfully he doesn’t cry harder, instead, he cries a little softer. And for the first time in what felt like forever, Yoongi wishes he could touch someone. He wishes he could wrap his arms around Jimin and comfort him.

 

“Jimin, listen to me…” Yoongi whispers softly and Jimin looks up to meet the ghost’s eyes. “It’s okay… You’re going to be fine… and if you are sad some days that’s okay. I’ll be here if you need someone…”

 

Jimin is quiet for a moment, staring at Yoongi with a soft look of awe. His lost expression morphs into a small smile and Yoongi lets out a breath.

 

“Thank you Yoongi…” Jimin whispers softly, his voice rough and fragile.

 

Jimin slowly lays down in his bed, pulling the covers up over his small body. He hiccups a little but at least he has stopped crying. He lays his head down and continued to look at Yoongi, his wide eyes taking in the features of the ghost’s face.

 

Slowly, Jimin’s eyelids flutter closed and his breathing comes out in even puffs, and Yoongi is still watching him.

 

This is the first time Jimin’s ever been quiet around Yoongi, giving Yoongi a chance to simply look and appreciate the curve of his nose, the way his eyelashes fan out against his cheeks. Jimin really is handsome, Yoongi thinks.

 

Yoongi had thought Jimin was pretty the first time he had seen the redhead but his awareness of just how attractive Jimin is, is slowly increasing. The thing is, Yoongi has eyes. He knows what beautiful looks like, objectively speaking, and Jimin is, without a doubt, objectively beautiful. No one with a working vision can ever look at him and just wave his features off, because said features are probably the softest and most delicate Yoongi has ever seen on any living creature. However, despite the softness to his face, there’s obvious power in his body, a subtle kind of strength lying just beneath his gentle demeanor that he no doubt got from the years of dance training he had in the past.

 

Yeah, Jimin’s really pretty…

 

(Yoongi stays with Jimin for the whole night,  counting his breaths for hours. Jimin sleeps peacefully, only stirring once in a while, he'd let out small sounds at times but he sleeps.)

 

 

When Jimin wakes up, he is unbelievably hungover and absolutely mortified. He apologizes profusely to Yoongi and expresses his wishes to just “die in a hole right now”, and Yoongi just smiles at the whole display.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Spring morphs into summer slowly but surely and soon enough, the weather turns from pleasant sun to scorching, sticky heat. Luckily, Yoongi is a ghost and he can’t feel it.

 

“Its so fucking unfair that you’re a ghost,” Jimin laments one day as he lounges on the couch, stretched out in just basketball shorts and a tank top. He is on a week break after taking finals for the spring semester. Jimin had lamented to Yoongi that he’d studied for what felt like years, had exhausted his extensive collection of flashcards, stayed up all night clutching a variety of both ginseng- and caffeine-based energy drinks, spent hours and hours and days and days on the floor of the dorm just staring at his books, and he has no idea- no feeling- of how he did. (Yoongi is sure Jimin did great.)

 

“I don’t think that’s the right attitude to have about being dead,” Yoongi chuckles as he aimlessly hovers above the couch.

 

“I would much rather be dead than have to deal with this heat right now…” Jimin groans and drapes his arm over his face. “Fuck, it's just so hot! And what sucks is that the sun is up for fucking forever so out night classes are at ass o’clock at night…”

 

Yoongi chuckles at Jimin’s whining. Yoongi finds himself doing that a lot- laughing.

 

It's nice…

 

Jimin’s nice…

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“Yoongi?” Jimin whispers, his voice full of worry. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Yes, oh my god, quit worrying,” Yoongi sighs as he lifts up the plastic wrap and puts on end on one side of the doorframe.

 

“What if we get in trouble?” Jimin hisses.

 

“Well, considering I’m invisible and you are practically hidden behind that fucking plant I think we’ll be okay,” Yoongi chuckles and Jimin glares at him. “Come on, you’re on break! At least have some fun.”

 

Yoongi finishes putting the plastic wrap between the doorframe and he drifts over to Jimin, gently tossing the plastic wrap container next to the redhead’s feet.

 

“Okay, just wait,” Yoongi says excitedly. “I saw someone coming up the stairs like five minutes ago…”

 

“Yoongi I really don’t think we sh-”

 

“Shh shut up!!” Yoongi hisses at the sound of voices down the hall and Jimin snaps his jaw shut with a snap.

 

Sure enough, two guys walk up the stairs, deeply engrossed in conversation; they don’t even notice the plastic wrap between the doorframe, in line with their faces. One of them, the taller one with grey hair and long earrings, runs straight into the plastic wrap.

 

At first, the guy doesn’t seem to know what is going on, and he is still. Then his face morphs into a look of pure distress and he waves his arms around trying to peel off the sticky sheet.

 

It’s hilarious and both Jimin and Yoongi laugh. Of course, Jimin’s laugh catches the attention of the guy caught in the plastic wrap and he freezes, his eyes widening at the sight of Jimin hiding behind a plant.

 

“Park Jimin!” The boy says with a deep, foreboding voice.

 

“Oh shit, I know him,” Jimin hisses and soon he is bolting down the hallway. Yoongi is frozen for a second because of how fast Jimin is, just a dash of red, and then he too is flying (literally) down the hallway.

 

Jimin is laughing the whole way to his dorm room, loud and airy and so fucking happy.

 

Yoongi catches up to Jimin as the redhead closes the door of his dorm and Yoongi phases through the wood.

 

They both stand (or float) there for a moment, the two of them breathing heavily and looking at each other with wide eyes.

 

Then Yoongi is laughing. He is laughing so hard, his stomach hurts and his cheeks burn and his chest aches, and he is sure if he was alive there would be a drumming sound against his ribcage. He can’t help it. Jimin is laughing, too. And Yoongi is drifting aimlessly without control and Jimin is falling over on the couch and everything is lovely and Jimin is lovely.

 

And they continue to play pranks together, running around the dorm, and Jimin doesn’t seem to care that maybe he looks crazy as he laughs loud and carefree.

 

And it is lovely.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

“It’s fucking late Jimin?” Yoongi grumbles.  “Where are we going?”

 

“You’re a ghost who just fucks with people all day and you don’t sleep so you have no right to talk about how late it is,” Jimin huffs as he pulls his sweatshirt over his head and puts it on. Jimin had been odd all day and now he’s insisting that Yoongi goes out with him, at 11:18 at night.

 

“Okay okay…” Yoongi sighs and he brings his hands up in a mock arrest. Jimin seems satisfied with this and he watches as Jimin shuffles around the dorm, rifling through a cupboard and then a drawer and then somewhere in his room. He comes back into the main room with a large blanket and it is safe to say that Yoongi is thoroughly confused.

 

“Just tell me where we are going!” Yoongi grumbles and Jimin just chuckles.

 

“Don’t worry about it!” Jimin says as he waves his hand in dismissal.

 

Yoongi really didn’t have to worry about anything. Jimin dragged Yoongi out of the dorm and out of the building.

 

(“I’m a fucking ghost! I don’t have to go with you!”

 

“Well, I’m dragging you out.”

 

“I’m a ghost.”

 

“Yeah, but you’re still coming!”)

 

Yoongi follows behind Jimin as they make their way through the streets of Seoul. Jimin eventually stopped at a bus stop and they got on once the bus arrived.

 

Yoongi felt an odd sensation crawl up his spine as he rode the bus. He hadn’t been out of the dorms, seeing no need to, for at least a year and being around more people than he had probably ever been around makes anxiety crawl in his stomach- thankfully he is invisible and incorporeal.

 

Thankfully, the bus was practically empty so Jimin could lean over and talk to Yoongi. He still wouldn’t tell Yoongi where they were going but the way Jimin looked around excitedly and his eyes brighten tells Yoongi the redhead is excited- ecstatic.

 

Eventually, after an hour bus ride, Jimin gets up out of his seat and gets off the bus, Yoongi drifting behind him. They got off somewhere outside of the city, somewhere between Seoul and Namyangju.

 

It's impossibly dark and it takes Yoongi a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. When he is clearly able to see in front of him, Yoongi realizes that Jimin is no longer in front of him. Yoongi squints in front of him and soon he sees a small figure walking in the field by the bus stop.

 

“Hey, Jimin!” Yoongi yells as he drifts over to Jimin, who is practically skipping and doesn’t stop even though Yoongi calls for him.

 

“Hurry up Yoongi!” Yoongi hears Jimin yell behind him, his voice shrill and excited. “It’s almost time!”

 

Yoongi glides over faster until he eventually reaches Jimin, who had stopped moving and was now setting the blanket on the grass.

 

“It’s almost time for what ?” Yoongi asks for what feels like the one-millionth time.

 

“Just wait,” Jimin says excitedly as he sits down on the blanket like an excited kid. Jimin looks up at Yoongi with large eyes and pats the space next to him with a small smile on his lips. Yoongi groans when he realizes he’s not going to get any response from Jimin so he folds up his legs and hovers next to Jimin.

 

They sit in silence for a minute, a warm breeze blowing, announcing the coming of summer's hottest days, and Yoongi is going to ask what they were doing out in a field in the middle of nowhere at 12:30 but then Jimin gasps and he points up at the sky.

 

“Look, Yoongi, look!!” Jimin says, his voice laced with excitement and awe. Yoongi looks up at the sky and he sucks in a breath.

 

Living (or spending his afterlife) in the city has prevented Yoongi from ever really seeing the stars. The street lights and the neon signs of Seoul blocked out any other light that tried to come into the city.

 

But here…

 

Here, miles from the city and the bright lights of Seoul, Yoongi could clearly see the canopy of luminous stars amongst the ocean of blackness. Some were dull, merely flickering into existence every now and then, but there was an amazing amount of shimmering stars to illuminate the dark, moonless night.

 

Then, something flashes across the sky in a bright brilliant instance before it's gone and Yoongi wonders if he is seeing things. However, next thing Yoongi knows, it happens again.

 

And again.

 

And again.

 

And again until the sky is being lit up by dazzling light and it almost looks like the stars are falling from the sky, but then Yoongi realizes that he is watching a meteor shower. Each streak is a dash of glitter on the velvet sky, ablaze and brilliant against the night sky.

 

The aroma of the tall grasses is an intoxicating perfume and the starry night above is a painting more sublime than any man could create.

 

Yoongi hears someone suck in a breath and it startles Yoongi for he forgot that he was with Jimin. Yoongi looks over at Jimin and it's like the breath is taken from his lungs, floating in the air like smoke. The stars’ brilliance is mirrored in Jimin’s dilated orbs as he looks up at the sky with awe.

 

Yoongi hates to be cliche, but it’s truly as if time just stops. Everything else just becomes background noise and it’s as if there’s a spotlight shining down on Jimin because all Yoongi can focus on is him.

 

 

On the bus ride home, when Yoongi looks at Jimin sleeping quietly and soundly despite the bumpy road they are on, Yoongi realizes he is in love with Jimin.

 

Yoongi realizes that he suddenly fell for Jimin, like all the shooting stars above.

 

It doesn’t actually surprise him because… Jimin is Jimin.

 

Jimin talks like he holds all the warmth of the world in his voice.

 

Jimin is naturally witty, always making jokes and teasing.

 

Jimin walks like his body is weightless, carried by the breeze of the wind.

 

Jimin is so unbelievably smart and so absolutely enamored with the universe.

 

Jimin smiles and his eyes disappear, pink colors his cheeks and Yoongi notices that one of his teeth is a little crooked.

 

Jimin bites his bottom lip when something is worrying him and he pulls his hair back from his forehead when he's nervous.

 

Jimin chuckles and giggles quietly but he laughs loud and unabashed like he wouldn't care if the whole world heard him.

 

Jimin pouts when he reads or when he's particularly focused on something.

 

Yoongi realizes he’s in love.

 

 

And it hurts.

 

It's painful because all Yoongi wants to do is hold Jimin’s hands and kiss his cheeks and feel his warmth.

 

But he can’t.

 

He can’t because he’s a fucking ghost that fell in love with a boy so full of life he practically radiates colors and shines brighter than any star in the sky.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Summer morphs into fall and Jimin’s hair and turns into a coppery blonde and Yoongi falls deeper in love.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

They are watching a movie that Yoongi really doesn’t like and Jimin is eating his noodles in the most obnoxious way possible but it's okay because its Jimin.

 

Somewhere along the line, Yoongi’s thoughts drift off and he really isn’t focussing on anything when Jimin suddenly jumps off the couch with an exaggerated gasp.

 

“The fuck…” Yoongi exclaims, surprised by Jimin’s sudden burst of energy.

 

“Oh my god!!!” Jimin sighs exasperatedly. Suddenly, he is rushing to the door and throwing his shoes on. “Come on Yoongi! Come one!”

 

Yoongi has given up on trying to keep up with Jimin most of the time. Jimin may be gentle and sweet and all those soft things but he is also extremely sporadic at times, sometimes getting struck with inspiration with a great idea. Although those great ideas include Naruto running down the hallways at three in the morning after one particularly long night of studying or eating the spiciest pepper he could get his hands on.

 

“Come on come one,” Jimin is ushering Yoongi out the door as best as he could with a transparent and incorporeal being.

 

“Where are we going, Jimin?” Yoongi asks as he chuckles at the look of absolute flabergasted-ness on Jimin’s face.

 

“I- oh my god…” Jimin whispers as he hurriedly makes his way down the hall and down the stairs with loud THUNKS.

 

“Jimin, where the fuck are we going?” Yoongi asks again with annoyance but he doesn’t really mean it.

 

“I just- oh my god I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this before…” Jimin whispers again in hushed awe as he walks faster and Yoongi just groans, realizing once again he shouldn’t question Jimin when he’s in a certain headspace.

 

They walk across campus and without the other students, the college isn’t the same. It is easy to forget the university’s size when its squares were filled with people but now that it is empty, Yoongi felt dwarfed by the tall buildings.

 

They eventually arrive at a tall, old-looking building that had big arched windows. Jimin walks up the stairs that lead up to the large arched doors and stops in front of them with a small (cute) pout on his lips.

 

“Can you open this?” Jimin asks with a serious tone and Yoongi blanches.

 

“Wha-? You want me to break in?” Yoongi asks with an incredulous tone.

 

“Uhh… well, when you put it like that…” A gentle pink colors Jimin’s cheeks and Yoongi can’t help the tightness in his chest that he feels at just how precious Jimin looks.

 

“Okay okay…” Yoongi sighs before reaching his arm through the door and unlocking the door with an obnoxiously loud click. When the large, wooden doors creak open, Jimin darts through them and beckons for Yoongi to follow him.

 

Yoongi follows Jimin and squints in the darkness of the building he steps into. It takes a little bit of time for Yoongi’s eyes to adjust to the little light in the building but he eventually does and he sees that this building is obviously old. Intricate patterns are carved into the wood support beams visible in the wall. Piles of old books and papers are piled in random places on the floors and tables and its kind of a mess.

 

Yoongi follows Jimin further into the building until they reach a door at the end of the long hallway they were walking through. Jimin stops in front of the door and Yoongi immediately gets the message and unlocks the door.

 

“I hope this isn’t going to become a habit,” Yoongi chuckles as he watches Jimin walk through the double doors. “I’m not going to help your criminal career…”

 

Yoongi’s voice trails off when he looks at the room the two of them walked into. It’s a large room- huge- probably bigger than Jimin’s dorm room and there are huge, arched windows that let in streaks of moonlight that illuminate the dust particles floating in the air.

 

Yoongi follows that streaks of moonlight and his breath catches in his throat when he sees the moonlight falling on a piano in the center of the room. The piano is old and weathered but it’s still a beautiful deep brown and appears to still be usable.

 

“Can you…” Yoongi turns around and sees Jimin standing a little bit behind him, looking shy and nervous. “Can you play for me…?”

 

Yoongi swears he can hear his heartbeat in the silence that falls over them.

 

“I told you I probably suck though…”

 

“Yeah but… I thought we could see if you were wrong…”

 

Something about the way Jimin says that- so quietly and softly- makes Yoongi turn back to the piano and drift closer to it.

 

Yoongi moves his hand over the piano and he swears that if he tries hard enough, he could feel the cool wood under his palm as he racks his brain for a good song to play. Abruptly, a melody comes to his mind, and he hovers in front of the keys.

 

He lowers his fingers on the black and white keys with uncertainty.

 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, concentrating on the piano in front of him.

 

He opens his eyes as he presses down on the first key, the unfamiliar bars wafting through the room at a sedate and calming pace. Playing the piano sweeps Yoongi into a trance. The sound is deep, dark, and it floods in with sadness that had the powerful waves of the deep chords strike something inside of him.

 

While Yoongi plays, he thinks about love. He thinks about how pure and wonderful love is, how it feels to be in love. He thinks about lazy afternoons lounging on the couch. He thinks about rushed mornings running around the dorm. He thinks about beautiful nights under the stars next to a beautiful boy, brighter and more beautiful than any star in the sky.

 

But Yoongi also thinks about round cheeks and small hands and plush lips and how Yoongi will never be able to hold them, to feel them against his own cheeks, hands... lips. While Yoongi plays, he realizes that Jimin is truly like a star. Beautiful and bright, but something Yoongi would never ever be able to touch.

 

When Yoongi finishes playing, he has to take a deep, shaky breath before he turns to look at Jimin. When he meets the younger’s gaze, Yoongi is taken aback by the emotions swimming in Jimin’s eyes. His lips are parted and his eyes are soft and he looks taken aback. They stare at each other for a moment before Jimin speaks, shattering the fragile silence around them.

 

“See, Yoongi,” Jimin says softly. “I told you, you don’t suck…”

 

The absolutely radiant smile that crosses Jimin’s face will forever render Yoongi a complete and utter mess as his stomach fills with thousands of butterflies. Jimin’s beautiful, contagious grin has Yoongi smiling widely as well, despite the horrible tightness in Yoongi’s chest. He misses the way Jimin’s breath catches in his throat and the way his smile drops slightly as he stares wide-eyed at Yoongi, his eyes wide and his lips parted in awe.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Something shifts after that night in the music room.

Yoongi notices that Jimin is looking at Yoongi a little differently. His gaze is a little softer- a little sadder- and Yoongi hates what it means.

 

Yoongi hates moments like this.

 

They are just watching reruns of an older drama, but Yoongi isn’t really paying attention. He never really liked this drama (the female lead was too dumb and cliche for Yoongi’s taste and she is falling for an absolute asshole).

 

Yoongi is watching Jimin.

 

Yoongi wants to look away, but just like last time and all the times before, it’s like his eyes are glued to Jimin. And, like many moments before, Jimin turns his head and catches his gaze. If it were a movie, Yoongi would be making his way over to Jimin right now and kissing him desperately. But this isn’t a movie, it’s real life, and Yoongi is a ghost so Yoongi settles for staring at Jimin. Jimin’s eyes were wider than usual and his lips were parted, a small blush coloring his cheeks. Yoongi feels his hand twitch, as if he was going to reach out and touch Jimin.

But he doesn’t.

 

Yoongi uses all of his strength to keep his hand right next to his body, but Jimin seems to catch the movement. His eyes dart down to Yoongi’s hand and then right back up to the ghost’s eyes and Yoongi sucks in a breath.

 

Jimin’s eyes are swimming with emotions- sadness, longing- so many raw and vulnerable emotions that have a tightness forming in Yoongi’s chest.

 

And Yoongi is too busy looking into Jimin’s eyes that he doesn’t notice the way Jimin is clenching his own hands into fists so hard his nails draw blood from his palm.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

All good things come to an end, Yoongi supposes; or at least that’s what he’s been told.

 

Yoongi has always hated that phrase but Yoongi now sees the truth in it.

 

It might have been happening earlier but honestly, Yoongi isn’t very good at noticing things. He once spent a whole day completely unaware of a fake mustache Jimin was wearing.

 

So yeah, Yoongi isn’t very perceptive.

 

So maybe that is why he didn’t notice how little parts of him were becoming completely invisible, even to himself.

 

Yoongi didn’t know when it started but eventually, he looked down at his legs and realized that he couldn’t see either of his shins or knees.

 

It happens slowly and Yoongi is scared.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Routines are nice; Yoongi likes routines. That is why Yoongi always falls into routines so easily.

 

It was so easy to fall into routine with Jimin. It was so easy to spend time playing pranks on people. It was so easy to spend afternoons relaxing together talking about nothing and everything in between. It was so easy to get lost in the way Jimin would smile when he looked up at the night sky. It was so easy to get lost in the way Jimin talked with his hands. It was so easy to get lost in the way Jimin laughed and threw his head back.

 

It was so easy to get lost in Jimin.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

It is winter now. The fall heat has turned into chilly winds that are the precipice of a frigidly cold winter.

 

Jimin has a break for winter, which he desperately wanted to go back to Busan for, but unfortunately, his parents were away traveling. Yoongi thinks it was a little cruel, to be away vacationing during one of the only times during the year in which one could see their child, but who was Yoongi to say anything?

 

Jimin was sad about it, he really was, so Yoongi tried his best to comfort him by just being there. They play more pranks together, even though there is hardly anybody else in the dorms. They watch stupid dramas and animes. They tell jokes and tease each other.

 

They laugh.

 

And it works for a little while; Jimin seems to be getting happier, but a sadness still lingers under his gentle smile and soft eyes. There is still a tightness in his voice and tears in his eyes sometimes.

 

And now it's starting to feel weird; it's starting to feel painful.

 

Yoongi feels it in his chest, something that stings and twists, poking at every side, making it hard for him to breathe.

 

He so desperately wants to hold Jimin.

 

 

Jimin is lounging in his bed, idly scrolling on his phone while Yoongi drifts around the bedroom when, all of a sudden, a surprised gasp yanks him from his daze.

 

“It's snowing!” Jimin exclaims and he turns to Yoongi and for smiles a beautiful, dazzling smile. Yoongi turned to look out the window and sure enough, the sky was grey and delicate, white flakes fell down.

 

Jimin is out of the door before Yoongi can even blink.

 

He almost trips over himself in his haste to get out and into the snow. The parking lot in front of the dorm is a wide expanse of pure white, snowflakes continuing to fall down, catching on the thread of Jimin's scarf. He runs forward, as if he was a child a who’s seeing snow for the first time, and the midday sun catches on the snow the same way it catches on Jimin's face. On the planes of his cheekbones, the pout of his mouth, open and rounded in excitement.

 

Yoongi drifts idly and watches as the gentle flakes of snow fall through him until Yoongi sees something that sure as fuck isn’t a snowflake pass right through his chest.

 

It’s a snowball, and Jimin is snickering from his periphery. Yoongi chuckles as bends down and gathers the largest snowball he can make. He concentrates as he encases the snow tight between his transparent palms and squeezes, compressing the snow tight enough such that it’s one solid mass. He stalks toward Jimin and he hears a yelp before Jimin is running away to move behind a tree. But Yoongi is faster and the snowball hits Jimin right in the chest.

 

Jimin gasps, exaggeratedly, and then he’s laughing and Yoongi is laughing, too. At some point they’re next to each other again, just laughing next to each other in the snow.

 

And it's so good.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

All good things come to end.

 

And Yoongi hates how true that statement is.

 

Jimin is shuffling around the kitchen, muttering something about needing more milk and not having a single clean plate in the dorm.

 

Yoongi is, as he always does, is idly floating in the middle of the room when a plate falls from Jimin’s hand and lands on the floor, shattering against the hard surface.

 

“Shit Jimin,” Yoongi is immediately at attention and is drifting over to Jimin. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yoongi?” Yoongi stops, frozen, where he is at how tight Jimin’s voice is. Jimin’s eyes are wide with shock and confusion and sadness. Yoongi follows Jimin’s gaze until he is looking at himself except, only half of himself. Yoongi can’t actually see any of his body from his waist down. “Yoongi? Why can’t- why can’t I see you?”

 

“Jimin…” Yoongi says softly but he doesn’t really know what he is going to say. Nothing he could say would ever be able to make the heartbroken expression on Jimin’s face disappear.

 

“Why can’t I see half of you, Yoongi?” Jimin asks and his face screws up, voice panicky, his eyes brimming with tears.

 

“I don’t know I don’t know, Min…” Yoongi sighs, defeatedly. “I don’t know… I don’t know what’s happening to me…”

 

Yoongi’s voice trails off and he has to close his eyes before the way Jimin is looking at him destroys him completely.

 

And then he feels it. He could actually feel something, a slight tingling everywhere still visible. Yoongi sucks in a breath and looks down at his body, or what was left.

 

He is fading away, a lot faster than usual, the parts of his body that are still visible are swirling and then fading away, like smoke from a cigarette.

 

“No… Yoongi!! Why are you disappearing?” Jimin’s voice is panicked and his hands are shaking, still in the air as if he was still holding the plate. Yoongi meets Jimin’s gaze and Yoongi feels something inside of him almost break when he sees the tears in Jimin’s eyes.

 

“Min…” Yoongi says quietly and he drifts up so that his eyes are level with Jimin’s. “Min, why are you crying?”

 

“Because I d-don’t want you to go…” Jimin’s voice is so soft and delicate it takes the air right out of Yoongi’s lungs and he can feel time slow down as he looks at Jimin.

 

Then, Yoongi feels intense tingling and he can practically feel himself disappearing.

 

“No! Wait Yoongi, don’t go! Please stop! No, no, no,” The heart-wrenching sob practically rips at Yoongi as Jimin rambles hopelessly, tears running down his cheeks. “No, Yoongi you can’t- you can’t go- fuck- Yoongi, not now- we have to- there’s an eclipse this spring and we h-have to see it t-together… we have to- we have to…”

 

Jimin is sobbing and shaking and he looks so scared- Yoongi absolutely hates it. The ghost raises his right hand up but pauses with wide eyes when he sees that he could no longer see his right hand.

 

“Jimin, Min it’s alright…” Yoongi says quickly, sadly- defeated. Jimin looks up at Yoongi and for a moment, the tears stop falling, they are just staring at each other, completely lost in the other’s gaze. Then, Jimin’s face twists into one of pain and sadness and a sob rips through Jimin’s throat.

 

“Yoongi… I- I don't want you to leave.” Jimin says, so fast that the words almost don't make sense to Yoongi’s ears, “I want you to stay…

 

“I want to play more pranks with you and I w-want to share my day with you a-and I want to keep watching the stars with you a-and…” There's a sob that cracks Jimin’s voice. “I want you to play the piano for me and I want- shit, Yoongi, I just want you to stay! I want to do so much stuff with you and I just want to be with you because I'm so fucking in love you and this is so- so f-fucking shitty and unfair! I just want you to stay with me-”

 

Yoongi feels like time actually stops when he hears Jimin’s words, the words he had always wanted to hear and had always never wanted to hear simultaneously.

 

“Min… You…” Yoongi says softly, wincing at how tight his voice sounds. “You can’t think- why? You can’t keep thinking about me after I… after I go…”

 

“But I can’t- h-how could I…” Jimin snaps. Or whimpers. Something heartbreakingly in between. “I… god, you make me so happy and y-you were there for me when I was f-feeling alone and you just… f-fuck… how could I- h-how could I not keep thinking about you?”

 

Yoongi feels the tingling growing stronger and he knows he is probably just a head now but he raises what feels like his arm anyway. Surprisingly, he still has a hand so he drifts closer to Jimin and brings up his hand and stops just before he phases through Jimin’s cheek. Yoongi concentrates so hard, and he swears he could feel the warmth of Jimin’s skin beneath his palm, and Jimin sighs, a small sob breaking the breath.

 

“Jimin,” Yoongi says softly and Jimin cries just a little bit harder. Yoongi knows this is unfair, saying this, but he just needed to. He just-

 

“I love you.”

 

 

And then darkness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All there was was darkness.

 

Wherever Yoongi turns his head, wherever he searches, all he finds is black nothingness. Above and around him, there is nothing to see as far as his eyes reached.

 

Maybe his eyes are closed.

 

He couldn’t quite tell.

 

He wasn’t even sure he’d moved his head at all.

 

All there was was darkness.

 

But there was also this weirdly rhythmic beeping that was kind of annoying.

 

Yoongi tries to open his eyes and his eyelids are heavy, his vision blurring the instant he manages to lift them, blinded by sunlight. He blinks and it only becomes worse, his eyes stinging and begging to be closed again, but Yoongi refuses. Instead, he takes a deep breath and blinks again and again, squinting, until he can see the lines of the unfamiliar, grey, ceiling above him.

 

His mind is slow and groggy, as if he had slept for days without waking.

 

Then comes the ache.

 

There is a steady, painful throb in his chest and back, flaring up for every beat of his heart. It spreads down his torso and up the right side of his neck, where it settles as a dull hum in his skull. His throat aches when he swallows, the channel thick and dry all at once. He grimaces, only to immediately wince when his jaw ached in protest to the small use of his muscles, also becoming aware of the tube down his throat (not to mention the countless others attached to his arms).

 

The light is still bright but now it's becoming manageable.

 

Yoongi cautiously turns his head trying to make sense of where the fuck he was. It's really clean. It looks- and smells- like someone religiously washed the floors with bleach and the lights are still really bright.

 

And that fucking beeping won’t stop.

 

Yoongi turns his head the other way, cringing at the feeling of the tube down his throat shifting, and his eyes fall on a screen with a line that occasionally goes up with the beating of Yoongi’s heart…

 

Oh.

 

It’s a heart rate monitor.

 

Yoongi is in a hospital.

 

There is a heart rate monitor that is monitoring his heart rate.

 

Suddenly the heart rate monitor is beeping a little more frequently but Yoongi doesn’t know where he is and he can’t breathe and there’s a fucking tube down his throat. Yoongi is trying to move but the thin blankets feel like they’re too heavy for him to lift up and he doesn’t understand why he isn’t just phasing through the material.

 

Yoongi hears voices somewhere in the distance and he tries to make a sound even though no one would hear him.

 

He opens his mouth more to make a noise but the tube shifts and he feels like he’s choking and the heart rate monitor is beeping really fast.

 

Suddenly, the doors open and Yoongi can’t really see who it is; everything is still a little blurry.

 

Just as suddenly as the doors opened, people flooded through the doors like a raging river of white cloth and noise.

 

“Oh my god-”

 

“Someone get the doctor-”

 

“Hey don’t move right now-”

 

“It's alright-”

 

“Where’s the doctor-”

 

There’s too much going on and the beeping keeps getting more frantic and he’s trying to move but he feels too heavy for his own body (body!?).

 

Then, Yoongi feels a cold hand on his arm and he freezes. He looks down at his left arm and sees a man, dressed in blue scrubs, holding his arm gently and Yoongi can see that he is administering something into a tube connected to his arm.

 

But he was touching Yoongi.

 

His large hand was on Yoongi’s wrist.

 

His large hand was on Yoongi’s wrist.

 

His large hand was on Yoongi’s wrist.

 

Yoongi felt panic and confusion grip him like a boa constrictor and the heart rate monitor kept beeping faster.

 

Then, as if a light switch was turned on, he was feeling less panicky.

 

Well, maybe he felt the same amount of panic but he was finding it harder and harder to keep his eyes open. He tried to keep them open, he tried to talk, he tried to move, but he felt the pull of sleep and his eyelids felt as if they were a ton.

 

And so Yoongi drifted back into blackness.

 

 

 

Waking up again was a lot more pleasant the second time than it was the first. For one thing, he was sitting up. Another thing, the large tube that was originally down his throat was replaced by a smaller one and now he has a tube running under his nose.

 

He could see clearly that he was, indeed, in a hospital room. He was wearing a hospital gown and he was sitting in the bed.

 

He was actually sitting.

 

Yoongi looked down at his arms and almost gasped at what he sees.

 

Yoongi knows he was normally a paler person, but his skin is pale, almost a pasty grey that did not look healthy. His arms are thinner than they should have been, gaunt and lean, the round bones of his wrist protruding against his skin. They are so thin that Yoongi was surprised that the myriad of needles and tubes coming from them could have actually been in his arms. The hospital gown he wears hangs loosely around his shoulders, hiding what was surely a thin, frail chest. He shifts his legs but they move sluggishly, as if even the thin blankets were too heavy for them to bear.

 

It was all so confusing.

 

Why wasn’t Yoongi phasing through everything?

 

Why was he opaque?

 

Why did it feel like he was alive?

 

“Hey, hey, don’t panic,” Yoongi slowly moves his head to the right and sees a small woman in a white coat- oh, its a lab coat like a doctor would wear- next to the bed he is in, looking at him with soft eyes. “It’s alright. I’m doctor Myeong Hyejin and you are in Seoul National University Bundang Hospital. You are safe.”

 

The woman goes silent but she continues to look at Yoongi with soft eyes as Yoongi takes in the information. A hospital? Why is this woman- Hyejin- talking to him? How is this woman talking to him?

 

Yoongi’s heart rate picks up and he is very close to thinking this is all some sort of weird dream- which is weird because, first of all, he doesn’t go to sleep- and any second he was going to wake up but then the door of the room practically bursts open and two men are running into Yoongi’s room.

 

The one in front is tall and has broad shoulders and he’s breathing heavily, as if had just run up twenty flights of stairs.

 

The other man behind him is just as tall and has an angular face and he seems to be just as exhausted.

 

And they look so familiar.

 

They walk over to the bed and Yoongi can see their faces; their large, expecting eyes, and then Yoongi remembers who they are.

 

They’re his friends; Kim Namjoon and Kim Seokjin.

 

The realization hits him so hard he almost chokes on a breath and he can hear the heart rate monitor beeping a little more quickly.

 

They look the same- Namjoon and Seokjin- but a little different from how Yoongi remembers them. Namjoon’s hair is black, as opposed to the grey Yoongi remembers him with and Seokjin’s hair is a lot longer than usual.

 

And they look tired.

 

He sees Namjoon’s dark circles and aged expression, and it is such a stark contrast to the beaming, life loving, knowledge-hungry friend he remembers.

 

“Yoongi…?” Seokjin asks slowly, as if he was afraid to even say anything. They are both standing next to him and Yoongi can see that they both look older, the lines of their faces a little harder and their bodies a little thinner.

 

Yoongi tries to say something but the words- the sounds- get caught in his throat.

 

“He won’t be able to talk for a while. His throat will be extremely dry and all of his muscles are extremely weak so please be careful,” Hyejin says with a wary tone as she looks between Yoongi and the two men standing next to the bed, who nod understandingly. “Two years takes a big toll on the body.”

 

Seokjin and Namjoon continue to nod but Yoongi feels like he was punched in the guy. 

 

Two years? What on earth is she talking about?

 

“Yoongi…?” Seokjin asks again, his voice just as wary as before. “Do you… do you remember us?”

 

Yoongi looks at his two friends and he’s pretty sure he remembers them. Kim Namjoon, the first friend he made in Seoul when they attended psychology class together during their freshman year of university and his boyfriend Kim Seokjin who would always take care of the two of them when they got too engrossed in their reports.

 

He nods because, yes, he remembers them.

 

Seokjin laughs a tearful laugh and then throws himself on top of Yoongi in a tight embrace. Pain explodes everywhere through Yoongi’s body but it doesn’t matter because he can feel Seokjin. He can feel the weight of Seokjin against him, he can feel the warmth of Seokjin’s skin.

 

He’s touching Seokjin.

 

He feels everything around him stutter to a stop.

 

He’s touching Seokjin.

 

He’s actually touching Seokjin.

 

His mind is working too fast that he doesn’t even realize that Seokjin has gotten up and it’s now Namjoon who is hugging him. Yoongi is only dragged from his thoughts when he feels- feels- something wet against his neck.

 

“I’m sorry- I-I’m so so s-sorry…” Namjoon is crying, sobbing almost, as he whispers apologies like a mantra. “I’m so fucking sorry…”

 

What? Why is Namjoon sorry? What happened?

 

Yoongi tries to talk but his throat feels like the fucking Sahara desert and it hurts to even breathe.

 

A small, pained sound escapes Yoongi’s lips and Namjoon shoots away from him.

 

“Oh fuck, sorry,” Namjoon says as he fiercely wipes his eyes with his sleeve; Seokjin tenderly rubbing his back. “Sorry, sorry…”

 

Yoongi tries to wave him off, tries to communicate somehow that he has no idea what happened but the moment he tries to lift his arm, he can’t. His arm feels like it is a ton of pure cement and impossible to move.

 

He tries again.

 

And again.

 

But his arm won’t fucking move.

 

He groans and its a weak, quiet groan, but Seokjin hears him.

 

“Yoongi…” Seokjin starts hesitantly- why was he so hesitant? “Yoongi, do you remember what happened on March 16, 2014?”

 

Yoongi thinks and maybe he remembers. He remembers that day was the day that he and Namjoon had finished the biggest fucking essay of their lives. They had gone out to celebrate, as one does. Seokjin was out of town so it was just Namjoon and Yoongi who went out to have drinks. And then…

 

Yoongi nods but then he shakes his head with a scowl because he can’t remember March 17, or March 18.

 

He can’t remember what happened after that.

 

“Yoongi, you-” Seokjin’s expression twists as he took a deep breath. “You and Namjoon were in a car crash…”

 

Yoongi’s eyes widen and his eyes dart to Namjoon, looking for a trace of an accident but all Yoongi sees is the way his best friend looks just a little bit older than what he remembers. Was the car crash not that bad?

 

“Oh, don’t worry about me,” Namjoon chuckles but his voice is tight. “The car didn’t hit the drivers side it… it hit the passenger’s side…”

 

Namjoon trails off and Yoongi is frustrated that they wouldn’t get to the fucking point that they so obviously have tucked away under the hesitant looks and soft tones.

 

“Mr. Kim here was fine, just a few minor injuries,” Yoongi jumps, forgetting almost completely about Hyejin until Yoongi hears her soft voice somewhere to his far right (he can’t turn his head far enough to see her). “But you, you were put into a persistent vegetative state and have been for almost two years.”

 

Shock is what Yoongi feels, but maybe shock isn’t a strong enough word to describe what he is feeling. Shock is not enough to describe how his brain doesn’t even seem to process the words for a solid minute. Shock is not enough to describe the ice cold feeling that fills his veins. Shock isn’t enough to describe the burning sensation in his chest.

 

Shock isn’t fucking enough to describe the feeling when he realizes that he’s alive.

 

Yoongi is alive.

 

He fucking alive. He can touch things and talk to people and he can touch things and he can-

 

He isn’t dead. He has a solid body, a heart; he can touch. He could touch-

 

Jimin.

 

Yoongi is alive and Jimin is out there, in his dorm room and-

 

“Your family had agreed that, after a year, we would take you off life support,” Hyejin continues. “But then about ten months ago your conditions improved, your brain activity started to pick up and your condition continued to get better so we didn’t do anything.”

 

Yoongi’s heart rate picks up and his breathing becomes a little more ragged. Its too much to take in- way too much.

 

“I’m sorry,” Hyejin’s voice is a little softer and less robotic. “It’s a lot to take in but you should know that your condition, considering you have just woken up from a 22-month coma, is pretty good. You will be extremely weak but once you are ready, we will have you start physical therapy and hopefully, you will be out of here in no time.”

 

Yoongi doubts it will be that easy, judging by the fact that he can barely lift his arms or turn his head, but he feels a twinge of hope at Hyejin’s words.  

 

“Your family is on their way and they should be here soon,” Seokjin adds on and suddenly Yoongi remembers- oh right- he has a family.

 

Yoongi can’t help the tear that falls down on his cheek because it is too much. He is alive and he can touch things and he has a family and friends that he remembers.

 

So what if he will be confined to a bed for weeks- maybe months? He can feel his heart beating in his chest and he is alive.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Turns out, he didn’t remember everything from his life but he eventually begins to remember snippets of information, most of them fleeting and without much context, and it was hard to try piece fragments of random images and voices in his head. Some days it was exhausting and Yoongi was furious with everything and everyone but as more people come to visit, the more he remembers.

 

A thin man with a heart-shaped smile comes to visit him one day and Yoongi remembers Jung Hoseok, the teaching major that was Yoongi’s roommate.

 

Yoongi remembers his family. His mother, father, and older brother come to visit one day and they all cry.

 

Yoongi also remembers the crash; it comes back in little tiny bits and pieces. Each piece burning with vivid colors. He remembers how happy they were. They didn’t have much to drink. Just enough to have a fun time- to get a light buzz. They were even under the legal limit.

 

They were euphoric as they drove back, fuelled by the adrenaline of life- laughing and smiling until their cheeks and stomachs hurt.

 

Then he remembers the distinctive squeal of tires skidding across the pavement, car horns honking and that crunch of metal followed by a sharp pain digging right into his ribs.

 

He learns that the accident destroyed Namjoon. Physically, Namjoon is fine- the small scar on his cheek is the only trace of the accident. But emotionally, that was a different story. Seokjin tells him one night- when Namjoon is asleep, resting his head on Seokjin’s lap, as the two men sit on the couch near Yoongi’s bed- that Namjoon was crippled by guilt. Yeah, the person who hit them ran a red light and they were at fault, but maybe if Namjoon didn’t have that one drink, his reaction time would have been better and maybe- just maybe- he could have gotten out of the way.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

Turns out, when Yoongi thought that being in a bed for weeks- or months- would be okay, he was lying.

 

His voice returns and he slowly learns how to stomach eating solid food. He does exercises every day to strengthen his muscles that he has lost.

 

After the second month of being bedridden is when Yoongi is allowed to walk- despite Hyejin’s protests. The tube that was down his throat is now gone and now he only has to wear a small tube under his nose to assist with his breathing (which is still a little bit of a struggle sometimes).

 

There is a quiver of his hands which yet to fade. By the time Hyejin suggested he should attempt to stand up, the quiver has moved from his hands to his whole arm. It frustrates him but Hyejin, once again, proceeds to tell him that he is just weak from the years of disuse. So, he settles for curling his fingers and forming a fist, which he presses against the edge of his bed as he struggles to rise, his legs numb in their weakness.

 

With Hyejin’s hands hovering over his arm, ready to hold him up should he fall, Yoongi stands after several minutes of trial and error. He walks to the nearest wall of the room and back, every step clumsy and uncoordinated. By the time he reaches the bed again, he is breathing hard from exertion, sweat trickling from his temple.

 

“Good good,” Hyejin mutters, more to herself than anyone else. “Good…”

 

Yoongi walks around the hospital every chance he gets, sometimes walking for so long that he almost passes out from the exertion.

 

“You’re not going to be getting out of this hospital anytime soon if you injure yourself from walking too much,” Seokjin tells him one day, clearly exasperated by Yoongi’s determination. But Seokjin doesn’t understand.

 

Jimin is out there and Yoongi is stuck in the hospital. Yoongi wants to- no- needs to see Jimin; to meet him, to hold him.

 

He needs to.

 

 

 

***

 

 

 

When Yoongi gets the ‘All Clear’ and he’s dismissed from the hospital three months after he had awakened, he is so ready. Yoongi is ready to go to the dorms of Jimin’s university and see him and Yoongi is ready to travel halfway across Seoul to find the boy, but his family has other plans.

 

Of course, they do.

 

Yoongi was dumb to believe that his family wouldn’t want him to go back to Daegu to visit his extended family. Yoongi was dumb to believe that he could have just waltzed over to the University of Seoul.

 

So, the day before Yoongi is off to Daegu- which is three months and five days since he woke up- Yoongi sneaks out of his house.

 

“I’m like some fucking teenager,” Yoongi mumbles as he climbs out of the window. The air outside is cold, and the apples of his cheeks feel bitten by the frigid air that whips at his face- some spring day today was turning out to be. His floppy, knit hat is doing its job keeping his ears warm, but the rest of his face is still abused by the cold.

 

Yoongi is walking briskly to the bus station, praying that there is a bus that just happens to go to the University of Seoul at the stop.

 

God must truly exist because there is a bus that just happens to go to the University of Seoul at the stop.

 

During the whole bus ride, Yoongi is impatiently bouncing his leg and fiddling with his fingers, nervous energy almost completely eating him up.

 

When Yoongi is walking down the hallway, he feels almost like he did the first day he met Jimin: giddy.

 

Yoongi stops when he’s in front of the room and reads the number.

 

Room 138.

 

It’s almost surreal that after three months apart, Jimin is within reach. It's just a few minutes before Yoongi can hold the boy in his arms.

 

Then, suddenly, the horrible feeling of dread fills his veins- thick and terrible. What if Yoongi had just dreamed all of it- all of Jimin? What if Yoongi had conjured it up and he really wasn’t a “ghost” for 22 months and he really was just in a coma, dreaming?

 

Yoongi breaths in a shuddering breath and raises his arm. He knocks on the door and the sound echoes through the empty hallway.

 

The door opens after what feels like forever and Yoongi swears his heart stops. Jimin is standing there, his hair messy and his face slightly puffy, no doubt from sleep, and he was so beautiful.

 

Jimin stares at Yoongi for a moment before realization crosses his features and his eyes widen, a small gasp leaving his lips. Those large, glimmering eyes that he missed terribly are almost out of their sockets, and his mouth is hung open. He is completely still as if the shock had stunned him into stone.

 

“Yoongi…?” Jimin whispers and his voice is strained, so full and raw with emotion it makes Yoongi suck in a breath.

 

“Yeah… it’s- it’s me…I’m not a ghost… surprise…” Yoongi smiles weakly, feeling relief flood through his system making his eyes flutter close as the feeling of the burning behind his eyes get stronger.

 

They stand in fragile silence and Yoongi starts to feel anxiety claw at him.

 

Yoongi only opens his eyes when he feels something touch his chest, right above his heart. Yoongi opens his eyes and sucks in a breath when he realizes that Jimin has stepped forward and placed a hand on Yoongi’s chest.

 

Jimin looks up and Yoongi feels his heart flutter at the look of relief on his face. Yoongi realizes Jimin has tears in his eyes, they both do.

 

Jimin steps closer again so that Yoongi could feel the heat radiating off the younger and the breaths escaping his lips. Jimin’s eyes meet Yoongi’s and there something so raw- so vulnerable- in his expression that makes Yoongi gulp.

 

“How…?” Jimin’s strained voice asks. “You…”

 

“I was in a car accident and I… I’ve been in a coma for almost two years… but I… I’m actually alive…”

 

Yoongi’s voice trails off when Jimin’s hands slowly move from Yoongi’s chest to trace up his arms up to his face, and Jimin cups Yoongi’s cheeks so gently it was as if he was afraid he would disappear. Jimin’s hands emit a warmth the had Yoongi part his lips with a sigh, and Jimin’s eyes follow the movement, darting down to Yoongi’s lips. Jimin’s eyes move back up to meet Yoongi eyes and his eyes are so wide and so full of hesitation it seemed to keep him paralyzed.

 

Yoongi sucks in a breath and does something he has always wanted to do.

 

When Yoongi leans in, he can feel the stuttered breath Jimin let out. Yoongi hesitates when their noses brush, overwhelmed by the thought that Jimin hasn’t pulled away, then he gently presses his lips to Jimin’s.

 

Yoongi doesn’t move his lips, just presses them firmly against Jimin’s before pulling back slightly, so that they were barely a centimeter apart, giving the boy the chance to pull away if he wanted to.

 

But he doesn’t.

 

After snapping out of his paralyzed state of shock, Jimin closes the distance and presses his lips against Yoongi’s, careful and patient. Yoongi presses into the kiss more firmly and moves his hands to take a hold of Jimin’s face. Jimin kisses him so incredibly gently, lips soft and sweet. They move unyielding against Yoongi’s, and his tongue is like silk as it shyly brushes against Yoongi’s bottom lip and he swears he hears fireworks, or maybe they just went off inside his body, sparks making their way up under his skin and to the tips of his fingers.

 

Yoongi loves the sensation of being kissed in such a sweet way, with gentle lips against his own and warm hands framing his face, while Jimin’s thumbs caress his cheekbones in repetitive circles, adoration lacing every movement.

 

Yoongi pulls away first and they’re both breathing heavily.

 

Jimin gingerly runs his thumbs under Yoongi’s eyes, wiping the tears that silently fell with such tenderness it has the tears falling harder from his eyes.

 

"Hey… I was right. I’m taller than you," Yoongi laughs but it comes out as more of a sob as he holds gingerly holds onto Jimin’s cheeks, so soft and warm against his hands.

 

“Shut up…” Jimin whispers fiercely, a tearful giggle escaping his lips, before pressing his lips against Yoongi’s again.

 

Yoongi has no idea how many kisses they share, only knowing it was more than just one.

 

They run their hands over each other's skin like they were each trying to memorize the slopes of each other's bodies. Jimin holds Yoongi like he is something precious, fragile and pure and breakable- holds him like he was made of glass and looked at him almost reverently.

 

When they break apart, Jimin takes advantage of the distance between their faces to nudge Yoongi’s cheek or jaw with the tip of his nose. It was a gesture so full of shy adoration it had Yoongi guiding Jimin’s face back up to kiss him again. When they break apart (but still wrapped in each other’s arms) for the final time, Jimin brushes Yoongi’s hair off of his forehead, staring into his eyes.

 

“What now?” Jimin breaths out, his tone uncertain and nervous.

 

“Well, I,” Yoongi says as he idly plays with Jimin’s hands. “My family wants to take me to Daegu for a little bit, to visit extended family and such…”

 

Yoongi watches as Jimin’s eyes fill with disappointment and sadness and he threads their fingers together, raising his head to look Jimin in the eyes.

 

“But I’ll come back, probably in April, to start college again,” Yoongi says with a stern tone and Jimin perks up at that, a small smile gracing his lips.

 

“Okay,” Jimin whispers, relief thick in his tone. “Okay…”

 

And Yoongi thinks, at the moment, embraced in Jimin’s arms, that they would be just that. Okay.

 

Yoongi doesn’t know what the next day has in store for them because nothing is set in stone. Yoongi had two years of his life ripped away from him so of course he knows how life is a series of unpredictability, and it’s a terrifying concept to know that one day all of it might go away. But for now, when he has Jimin in his arms and he can feel the warmth of his skin, he knows that they will be okay.

 

 

 

***