Chapter 1: Peter Parker Is a Cute Nerd (A Title By Wade Wilson)
THIS ISNT MCU SPIDEYPOOL DONT YELL AT ME THAT SHIT IS HELLA NASTY
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
This is such a bad idea. Why am I doing this?
Peter sighs and tells himself to shut up. They’d known each other for years now, there's no reason Peter shouldn't trust him. He webs the mugger’s hand to the wall before dialing the police with his throw away phone.
“Nice one, Spidey!” Wade cheers from his spot on the dumpster. Peter rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, I could’ve used some help there.” He says, turning around and walking out of the alley. He hears Wade’s feet hit the ground, so Peter assumes he’s following him.
“Nah, you had it!” Wade brushes him off.
Cmon, Parker, just do it.
Peter makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. Wade jogs up to walk next to him.
“What’s wrong, honey-buns?” He asks. Peter ignores the nickname, far too used to them at this point. Peter takes a deep breath.
“Follow me, I wanna show you something.” Peter says. Before Wade can even open his mouth, Peter continues. “Don’t even say it.” Wade holds up his hands in surrender, but Peter can tell he’s grinning under his mask. He points to a building next to them. “Meet me on the roof” He says before shooting a web and climbing up to the top of it.
Peter pulls his mask off before starting to pace. He runs a hand through his hair. The small part of his brain telling him that this was a bad idea was starting to take hold. Peter grit his teeth and threw the mask across the roof. There's no reason that Peter shouldn't be able to this. Okay, maybe there were a couple of reasons, but it’d probably be fine. Probably.
“I don't know why you had me climb a fucking building, but what did you what to-” Wade cuts himself off as he looks up at Peter. He doesn't say anything. Or move. He looks frozen. Peter smiles awkwardly before sticking his hand out to shake.
Before Peter can even blink, he has an armful of ex-mercenary. Peter hesitantly hugs him back.
“Peter” Wade says. “Peter” He repeats. “Peter, Peter, Peter, your name is Peter”
Peter chuckles. “Yep. Don't say it too often, it'll stop sounding like a word.”
Wade hugs him tighter.
“You know I've been waiting years for this moment, right?” He asks. Peter winces.
“Yeah, sorry. I'm more than a little paranoid.” Wade shakes his head against Peter’s shoulder.
“You're cute enough to make up for it.” Peter snorts.
“You looked at me for like, two seconds before wrapping yourself around me like your life depended on it.”
Wade releases him and Peter mourns the loss of warmth. What’s up with that? He brushes it off, putting it into the “Thoughts at 3am when you can't sleep” box.
“There, now I've seen you for four seconds, enough time to decide that you're cute as fuck. Kinda nerdy. I dig it.” Wade says before backing up. Peter blushes. That was one upside of his mask, Wade couldn't see it when he blushed at his ridiculous comments. “Aww, Petey’s embarrassed!” Wade coos.
“Fuck off.” Peter says, turning redder.
Wade laughs, and Peter thinks it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.
I deadass wrote this at like 12:30 so if it makes no sense that's why my dudes. I might do a sequel where Wade shows Peter his face??? Anyways they have my uwus,,,,I just found out the spiderman/deadpool comics are over a few days ago and it made me very sad. This is my therapy
Chapter 2: Wade Wilson Is A Cute Dork (A Title By Peter Parker)
Yall this is so fucking soft holy shit I didn't know I was capable of being this soft what-
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It’s been two months since Peter had told Wade his name. Wade really enjoys saying his name, as well as many nicknames related to it. Peter has had to chastise him on using his name in public quite a few times at this point.
Peter was also starting to come to terms with the fact that he liked Wade way more than he should.
Way, way more.
Too much, in fact.
Tony would kill him if he found out.
But he won’t, and neither will Wade, so it's all fine.
It’s really not, but Peter likes to tell himself that it is.
Peter sighs, munching on his taco sadly. He’s had a crush on Wade far longer than he’d like to admit, it had just taken him a while to realize it. He’d told MJ about it, but she had just laughed at him and said “Took you long enough!” She can be a real asshole when she wants to.
A ping from his phone startles him out of his thinking. It was from Wade.
Wade Wilson: Meet me at the rooftop.
You: which rooftop?
Wade Wilson: you know ;)
You: I don't
Wade Wilson: ugh. Way to ruin it. Aren't you supposed to be a genius?
You: who told you that?
Wade Wilson: uhh now that I think about it im pretty sure it was yellow and he’s almost never right so nevermind. The rooftop where you showed me your face, Petey pie.
Wade Wilson: ;)
Peter realizes there’s no point in trying to get a straight answer out of Wade, so he puts his phone down and starts to suit up.
20 minutes later, Peter is retracing his steps from two months ago, trying to find the same rooftop. It was proving to be pretty difficult, since he hadn't really made a point to look at where they were at the time.
“Up here, Spidey!” Peter hears a voice call from above him. He looks up to see Wade’s figure leaning over the roof of a building. He can’t see much besides the outline of his body because of the dark, but Peter knows it’s him. He starts to climb up the wall and sees Wade retreat onto the roof. He gets all the way up and stands up before stopping, in shock of what is in front of him.
It's Wade, without his mask on.
Peter knew that Wade’s skin was scarred, that’s not what shocked him. It was the fact that Wade was very insecure about his scars, and that he was very selective about who he showed his skin to. Especially his face. Peter stares, which probably isn't the best reaction considering the circumstances.
“Please say something.” Wade says. Peter shakes himself out of his shock and approaches Wade, who lets him. Peter takes off his mask.
“You’re very handsome.” Peter says, and it’s the truth. While his scars definitely weren't attractive, per say, the rest of him was. He had a nice nose, amazing jaw, and...Peter’s eyes make contact with Wade’s, and Peter is left breathless by them. They’re beautiful.
“I'm...what?” Wade asks with a confused face. “We’re looking at the same person, right?” Peter nods.
“You are.” He says confidently. Wade shakes his head.
“You don't have to say that to make me feel better, baby boy.” Peter hits his arm lightly.
“I'm not!” Peter says. Wade makes a distracted face, and it takes him a moment to understand.
“What are they saying?” He asks gently.
“That you hate me, that I'm a worthless waste of space, you know, the usual.” Wade says, and Peter’s heart hurts at his casual tone.
“Can they hear me?”
“White and Yellow, you two can fuck off.” Peter starts lowly. “I do not hate Wade, and he is absolutely not a waste of space. He’s amazing, and I’ll tell him that however many times I need to to make you stop telling lies.” He says, making eye contact with Wade.
Wade’s breath hitches and he holds it for a moment before meeting Peter’s mouth with his.
Peter’s brain stops working and by the time it starts up again, the warmth is gone and Wade’s halfway across the roof.
“Sorry, sorry, I'm so sorry-yes I know I'm an idiot-I’m just gonna go now, can we pretend that never happened-”
Wade stops talking when Peter shoots a web, tugging Wade back in his direction. Wade stumbles towards him, almost falling. Peter walks up to him, grabbing his arms and pulling Wade’s mouth back onto his. Wade doesn't respond for a moment before pulling a 180, kissing him back enthusiastically. Peter makes a soft noise as Wade buries his gloved hands into his hair.
And then Wade pulls back. Peter whines, chasing his mouth, but Wade dodges.
“Okay, not that I'm not loving this,” Wade starts. ”Which I really am, trust me. But why exactly are you kissing me?”
Peter frowns. “Because I like you. Why else?”
Wade doesn't respond for a moment. “You...like me?” Peter nods, rolling his eyes.
“Yes, Wade. I like you.”
“Like...like like me?” Peter snorts.
“Yep, I like like you. Because we’re in second grade.”
“Am I dreaming?” Wade asks. Peter shakes his head. “Are you sure?” Peter nods. “Hm. You better kiss me just in case.”
Peter laughs. “That doesn't even make sense, Red.” Wade shrugs.
“Kiss me anyways?”
Peter nods and does exactly that.
Does anyone know where the baby boy nickname came from? I'm not gonna complain cause it's cute as shit but like,,where did it appear
Chapter 3: How To Not Get Mugged
“Hands in the air!”
Peter groans and turns around. Of course the one night that he decides to take a shortcut through an alleyway is the night the mugger was searching for a victim.
“Did you just make an annoyed sound?” The mugger questions. “At being mugged?”
The mugger is significantly taller than him, as well as much more muscled. He could easily overpower Peter, plus the gun. He has a red beanie with eye holes in it pulled over his face.
“Uh, yeah? Who wants to be mugged?” Peter questions, before cursing internally at himself. He really shouldn't mouth off at the guy pointing a gun at him.
As if reading his thoughts, the guy gestures the gun towards him. “You do know I have a gun pointed at you, right?” He asks, and Peter can tell he’s raising his eyebrows. He shrugs.
“Most muggers aren't actually willing to shoot people. I’d bet that gun isn't even loaded.”
Peter screams as he is proven wrong. He whips around to look at where there was a bullet in the wall next to him. “You could’ve shot me!” He yells.
The man shakes his head, and Peter can tell he’s smirking. “Nah, you're too cute for that. Now, wallet please!” He demands, holding out the hand that didn't have a gun in it. Peter sighs and reaches in his pocket, panicking when he can't find his wallet.
“What’s wrong, pretty boy?” The man questions, and Peter searches the rest of his pockets.
“I can't find my wallet!” He complains. The man in front of him raises an eyebrow under his mask.
“Mhm, you're starting to get less amusing. I’ll remind you that I have a loaded gun in my hand, now hand over the wallet.” He says, his amused tone turning dangerous fast.
“I'm serious! Search me if you want, my wallets gone!”
The man approaches Peter, and he starts to back up before he remembers that he told the mugger he could search him. The man approaches him, looking as if he’s gonna pat him down before he slaps Peter’s ass. Peter makes a choked sound and pushes his hand away.
“Nah, I'm not gonna search you, baby boy. I believed you, just wanted to fuck with ya.” Peter sputters for a moment before the man continues talking. “Anyways!” He hides his gun in his jeans. “I'm Wade. But you can call me whatever you want, honey buns.”
Peter stares at the man for a moment.
“Peter.” He says before he can stop himself. He doesn't really know why he says it, but something tells him he won't regret it.
“Well, Pete, since you seem to be out of luck in the money department for now, wanna go get tacos? My treat.”
Peter opens his mouth then closes it a couple of.times.
“Weren’t you just robbing me a couple minutes ago? How do you have the money to take random broke college students out on dates?” He questions before cursing himself for his choice of words.
“Ooh, so this is a date?”
“Shut up and answer the question.” Peter mutters, but Wade hears him. He shrugs.
“Gonna be honest, Petey-Pie, I was just doing this for shits n giggles. Don't really need the money, wasn't even gonna take your wallet if I'm honest.”
Peter grapes at him.
“You pointed a gun at me for shits and giggles?” He asked incredulously. Wade nods. “Oh my god you're crazy.”
“Yeah! Wanna get Mexican food?”
Peter shouldn't say yes. He really, really shouldn't.
“Sure, why not?”
Chapter 4: Peter Needs To Fucking Take Care Of Himself
Peter: the criminals caught ME slipping. That’s ON ME
Peter figured it’d take a little longer. Well, he didn't really think it would, but a guy could hope, right? But after the fifth night in a row of coming in through the window at three AM, passing out, and waking up again three hour later to go to work, Peter guesses Wade has had enough. Which, honestly, fair.
Wade whines as Peter slips out of bed, reaching for him. Peter dodges Wade’s arm, turning to face the door, but Wade grabs him again and tugs him back into bed. Peter grunts as Wade wraps his arms around him in a tight hold.
“Go back to sleep, Petey” Wade mumbles, tucking his face into Peter’s neck.
“I have work, Wade” Peter replies softly. He doesn't have it in him to fight Wade much on this, he’s so tired. He really wants to go back to sleep.
“Fuck work” Peter laughs. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before starting to squirm out of Wade’s hold.
“I really need to go to work-” he’s cut off as Wade grabs him again, holding him tighter.
“What you need is sleep, baby boy. You’ve barely slept at all this week, and spiders need their rest.” Peter sighs, resting his head on his boyfriend’s chest.
“No buts. Except for yours. You need to stop going out on patrol so late, Peter. I can see you spreading yourself too thin.” Wade tangles his hand in Peter’s hair. Peter feels himself immediately relax in Wade’s arms. Fucking hell, Wade knows Peter loves it when he touches his hair.
“I have a responsibility.”
“Yeah, a responsibility to yourself. You’re no use to the city if you can’t even think because of how sleep deprived you are,” Wade says, and...Peter can’t argue with that. He has been getting slowly more sloppy since he moves his patrol time later. Peter groans. Why does Wade have to care so much?
“Jesus, fine, I’ll skip out on work and nap with you, are you happy?” He grumbles. He’s really not all that upset about it, and he’s sure Wade knows that too.
“We’ll talk about patrol later” Wade mutters, already falling asleep again. Lazy ass.
Peter loves him.