This was it.
This was what she had spent countless of hours on, this was what reunited her with her first love, this was the stage she would potentially ruin her quiet career, the stage which she would hopefully enjoy with her friends.
This was really it.
”So... good luck guys.” Dahyun breathed out, the curtains hiding the impending spotlight that would shine through them, with the audience’s eyes staring back at them unemotionally. Jeongyeon really wasn’t ready, she really wasn’t prepared, but at least she had her friends right? This was all just for fun right?
There were a thousand thoughts running through her mind, a flash here and there of memories, some parts of her body filling with astonishment that she was finally doing this, other parts freezing her in her spot, still ice running though them with her mind formulating the worst possible outcomes.
She felt like vomiting and flying. Two completely different feelings yes, but valid nonetheless. By this part, her head was just blabbering nonsense, fighting on what emotion to feel in a situation like this. She felt conflicted. She was conflicted. But it was okay, it was okay because her friends were with her right?
”Don’t worry guys. We can do this. Yeah?”
Chaeyoung stuck her hand out, looking at both of her friends expectantly. Dahyun nodded sharply, swiftly placing her white small hands on top of her friends.
They both looked at her, smiling.
Jeongyeon realized that she wasn’t the only one having second thoughts on this, she wasn’t the only one who feared going on stage, singing infront of their school, potentially embarrassing themselves so badly they need to change schools. Her fears weren’t alone, she wasn’t alone. She realized when she looked into her friend’s eyes, she saw a reflection of herself and her feelings. But they had so much hope buried within their eyes, shining blindingly even without the spotlight glaring against their skin.
Maybe she should worry less about what others think, and just play with her friends happily.
She smiled back at them, gripping both of their hands and nodding furiously, giving her mind no time to fight back.
”Let’s do this.”
It felt surreal, being up there and singing to people that you don’t know, people who all perceive the lyrics of the song different, people who have their own curious lives staring back at you with unamused faces. When the curtains flew open, was that a sign of her changing or a sign that she should run away from the stage while she still had the seconds to?
She didn’t know, and it didn’t matter.
She forced herself to think of nothing, her mind blank, and she looked up. She looked up to the soft chatters—to the eyes staring back at her, to a few smiles and mostly to impatient faces. Across the second row, she saw Sana. The person who she, painstakingly, still had a crush on even though the rejection was so clear. The beats of her heart increased, her breathing heavier, the announcer’s nasally voice barely registering through her trembling state, all just from a look.
”And now for the new girlband, Thrice!”
But it was okay. It was fine. Even though it felt as if ice was peircing through her skin from all sides, she was still fine. Maybe a little distraught, maybe a little anxious, maybe even on the verge of running off stage but she was fine. She would go through this like she promised her friends, even if it meant changing schools because she’s completely embarrassed herself.
The newly furnished speakers crackled softley to the entering chords Chaeyoung played and they sang.
They sang and closed their eyes, singing as if they were in an empty room with only their voices to fill the void. Jeongyeon opened her eyes and looked to the side of her periphals to see Dahyun harmonizing with Chaeyoung’s light voice; her hands skating across the surface of the keys, pressing gently on each of them as if it were some sort of sacred hand sport. How three simple instruments could sound so tender and heavenly without the needs of drums was beyond Jeongyeon, but if just their three voices were enough too keep the whole audience fixated on them—with not even a sneeze or cough being released —then she could take a guess why.
Jeongyeon didn’t feel the need to close her eyes anymore, she didn’t feel afraid. It seemed almost serene watching her friends sing so gracefully accompanied by her lower voice; Chaeyoung moving subtlety to the beat, the guitar held loosely against her fingertips while Dahyun let her voice soar through the speakers with her hands gliding across the dusty keys of the piano. And how could she forget herself, the way her own hands moved in their own accord without the need of concentration, the way the nails dragged lazily across the metals strings to create a slightly buzzing sound after each note, it felt right. This felt right. With the rush of happiness and calmness she was feeling right now, this was completely right.
Until she saw one lonesome figure walk outside in a rush.
Jeongyeon registered the last few notes playing, the piano fading in with the guitar, both of them slowly reducing in volume for the last words.
”Wait for me to come home.”
And then an applause.
— — —
“Y’know sometimes Sana, I wonder why I’m even friends with you.”
Sana scoffs disbelievingly.
”And these are one of those moments.”
The blonde huffs, her cheeks expanding rapidly, her face flushed with frustration. She sat upright and rolled to the side swiftly while nearly falling straight to her butt. She clutched the rails of the chair tightly after that and looked straight at the younger with slit-like eyes.“Well what do you suggest I do then, smarty pants?”
The other girl laughed sarcastically. “I don’t know, talk to that old friend that you have a clear big CRUSH on instead of avoiding her like the idiot you are? Like you walked out her her damn performance halfway because of some dumb reason I’ll never understand. Like who the hell does that? Were you out of your mind?”
“No, No don’t say a word. Bask in your shame of the truth because your thick skull can’t get it through.”
“Chou Tzuyu wait—”
“I swear everytime you talk a child fails their test because your existance can just kill brain cells.”
“Tzuyu can you just—”
“Is Jeongyeon blind to your dumbness because I can literally smell it. It’s that bad.”
“CHOU TZUYU LISTEN TO ME!” Sana snaps, losing all her patience.
The room falls still, one girl’s face filled with frustration while the other was scared with a twinge of annoyance. Tzuyu uttered a soft fine and rolled her eyes, plopping down onto the bed and patting the space beside her so Sana could sit beside her and start talking.
”I’m just scared okay? You think that being like... this is even acceptable in our time?”
Tzuyu falls silent, a bit taken aback that Sana thinks that people still feel this way. Added to the fact Jeongyeon was the one who blatantly confessed that she liked girls and that she, specifically, liked Sana. “Who said that you needed to tell anyone? Jeongyeon is the one who likes you, and you can keep this a secret.”
”But what if people find out? My parents, our friends, what would they all think?” Sana’s friend tried to prod that none of them would find out, but the truth was Sana would manage to reveal it somehow. It’s just in her nature. “You know I can’t keep secrets, for goodness sakes even you found out about Jeongyeon!”
Tzuyu is really trying to help but with Sana being so pessimistic and worrisome, she can’t find a way to make this situation lighter, so she switches it.
”Let’s just forget about this for a second. Can I ask you something instead?”
“Who is Jeongyeon to you? Like... why does she even mean so much? I mean— for you to abandon your long standing crush on Yoongi for her, she must mean something.” Tzuyu reasons, looking expectantly towards the girl.
Sana chewed on her bottom lip softly, thinking of how to break it to Tzuyu that she never really did have a proper crush on Yoongi. She just wanted to fit in and what better excuse is there really than to pretend to have a crush on one of the most famous boys in school. Maybe she shouldn’t reveal it at all. Maybe she should just keep quiet about it.
She looked back at the nostalgic times she had as a kid with Jeongyeon, the excitement that would fill her being when she saw her other half. The way her heart would warm at the sudden sight of brown hair and matching glistening eyes, twinkling with fun and mischief under the radiating heat of the sun. She told Tzuyu of the times in winter where she would throw snow at the latter’s face to start a playful fight, or the times when they ran to played hide and seek, Sana weeping when she couldn’t find Jeongyeon after a few minutes or so. She told how she could never forget—as much as she wanted to—that one time they both played and bullies had attacked them; nearly landing a punch on Sana’s face but Jeong had stood infront and took it for her, keeping her promise of always protect the younger. She could never forget the fact that she had fell in love with Jeongyeon, yet the other forgot about her completely. What a cruel joke the universe had to play on her when she was young.
Even to this day, she still doesn’t remember Sana.
“Ugh I’m such a crybaby over nothing.”
Sana sniffles slightly, causing Tzuyu’s heart to break more on the inside, but she kept her stance and put a comforting hand upon the older’s shoulders.
“Hey Sana, it’s okay. I’m sure you’ll be able to tell her once you’re both together, but why don’t we first tell our friends that you like her?”
Sana paused, lifting her eyes from their steady gaze towards the floor. ”You... you really think they’d accept me?”
“Of course they’d accept, if I did, why wouldn’t they?” Tzuyu smiled widely, even though her heart was slowly being torn apart.
Tzuyu knew Sana liked Jeongyeon from the beginning, Tzuyu knew Sana would never like her but it still hurt. As if knowing it just caused a few cracks across the shell of her heart—the hope of the other girl even slightly returning her feelings stronger— but hearing it officially was the thing that ripped it into shreds, only to be painfully stitched back again within time.
Small and limp arms fell around her figure, hugging her softly as what Tzuyu guessed to be a form gratitude. She felt the older shift, her scent fading away as she stood up and gave a soft kiss on the cheek as a goodbye, the door creaking to a close. Tzuyu’s gaze shifted to the crater that laid on the bed to show Sana was gone, like how her heart had made way for the older, only to be rejected and pieced back together slowly.
But Tzuyu knows it’s going to be okay, and one day she’ll move on, looking back at the foolish times where she fell in love with her best friend (even though she knew her heart was already taken). She patted the dust off her jeans and stood up, grabbing her dairy and plopping down onto the royal blue chair.
Anyways, she had better things to worry about, like her biology exam that’s written in clear red with several arrows pointing towards it, and the date of tomorrow written right beneath it on her dairy.
Her bio exam is tomorrow and she hasn’t even started revising.
Jeongyeon still couldn’t stop thinking about the way Sana just blatantly walked off stage as if it was nothing. As if it never cracked a piece of Jeongyeon when she saw her leave with that powerful walk, the same walk that would have people shoved against lockers for her.
“Y’know, I think you genuinely have a chance with her.”
Jeongyeon laughs, loud and hard, enough to leave her in a slight coughing fit. Her hand slammed down onto the table, looking directly into the accused eyes.
“You’re crazy Chaeng, she doesn’t even look at me. Plus, it’s been around a month or two and still nothing has happened. She’s up there, I’m down here, nothing’s ever gonna happen.” She continued to munch on her food, “it’s never going to happen, not in my wildest dreams.“ She isn’t surprised if Chaeng has been pondering the possibility of them both being together so she adds, “or yours.”
“Come on, be fair. She at least looks at you—glimpses even—but those still count. She at least realizes that you exist ever since you’ve confessed y’know. She doesn’t look at you the way she looks at others.”
Jeongyeon shakes her head.
“She probably looks at me with disgust, she probably hates me. We aren’t in a time very accepting of this Chaeyoung.”
Chaeyoung keeps fighting.
“Jeongie, if she really did hate you, she would’ve told the world by now of your secret. But she hasn’t, and clearly she doesn’t want to.” She shushes Jeongyeon once more, “seriously Jeongyeon, at least think about it logically. You’re one of the smartest people I know, come on.”
“And you’re on of the dumbest.”
“Hey I’m not that dumb! I get B’s and A’s!” Chaeyoung shouts slapping her friends arm painfully.
“Just wait and watch Jeongyeon. I’m gonna watch both of you get married.” Her eyes immediately widen, “Okay wait- maybe that was a bit too far...”
Jeongyeon keeps her head down, clenching her hands from underneath the table.
“Stop giving me hope Chaeyoung. It’s never going to happen. Not in our wildest dreams.”
“Well then Jeongyeon, watch you wildest dream come true.”
The older rolls her eyes, throwing her wrapper right into the bin while sliding down her chair until her back hit the cold metal of the seat. “You sound like one of those optimistic characters straight from a book.”
Chaeyoung looks at her, pondering if they could ever actually just be a part of a book, or a movie, or some strange simulation made by future humans. She knows it isn’t unheard of thinking this way, or whether anything is real, or if everything is just a dream, but it feels strange to think of it. How would anyone ever know if everything is just fake? If nothing’s real? And if nothing around us is real, then what is real?
Chaeyoung had said the word real so many times that it didn’t even sound right anymore.
”Chaeyoungie stop, we’re not part of a book or a simulation.” The said girl opened her mouth in retaliation, closing it after a few seconds realizing that it’d be pointless on fighting on whether reality is real or not. “It’s like... almost time for lunch to end, where the hell is Dahyun?”
Chaeyoung shrugged. “I don’t know either, she hadn’t told me of anything today. But I did tell her to try coming early since school is ending right after lunch.”
“Hm, that’s strange.” Jeongyeon removed her phone from her pocket, and flipped it open, pressing tiny buttons till she finally typed in her friend’s number. “I’m calling her, and I swear to god if she doesn’t reply...”
Dahyun was walking down the hallways from her last class which was geography. They convinced her to take the subject back in Year 9 even though she felt pretty mediocre about it, but now she never regrets taking such a subject. It was interesting, of course it was for her to enjoy it, but it was more the way the teacher taught that captured her within the subject. His voice was warm and always somehow excited at teaching students, his lessons always filled with wonder because he really does try to make every one of his lessons new and thoughtful, and just... a great to learn in general. Before she thought geography as one of those boring and lame subjects that only smart people would ever take, because that’s the way it was taught; with plain simplicity, with no wonder or complexity, it was just plain boring. Population, the structure of earth, how the weather travelled, understanding how the earth work, blah blah blah. When did understanding how the planet they lived in worked ever get so boring? (She realized, after changing schools, that it wasn’t ever the subject that was boring but the teacher who taught it).
Late to lunch, again. It was basically a routine by now, something expected of Dahyun to be, late to lunch especially if it was a Tuesday. Who could blame her? Right before that was geography, where she stays back and asks tons of questions—doesn’t even have to be related to geography—as long as it’s something that sparks interest within her and her teacher, it’s more than good enough to take a portion of their lunch off. And willingly to the shock of Jeong and Chae, who both know Dahyun as the food lover.
At least this time Dahyun isn’t as late as last time, she had once actually reached the cafeteria ten minutes before lunch ended (to no one’s surprise) and gulped down her food in one whole bite. All of those savory flavors her mom had so tirelessly made wasted, but who could she blame right? She just had to talk to her teacher about his thoughts on Germany winning World War II and what would happen to the rest of the world.
Around thirty minutes of lunch left, she read from her handwatch on her left wrist. She continued walking, taking a sharp turn past their classroom to where the homeroom of the year 11’s we’re located, until she heard strange shouts coming from one of the homerooms. Her mind started to formulate the different possibilities that would happen whether she would go and see what in god’s name was happening (because those were some loud and aggressive shouts and was that crying she heard in the background?) or if she should ignore it and erase it completely from her mind so the curiosity and guilt of not going doesn’t stab her in her sleep. She hears more distant cries, and sounds of something collapsing—strangely like a human body falling— and she completely brainwashes the idea of leaving and rushes across to the left side of the corridor, peeking through the small hole within the door. If anything, a small peek wouldn’t hurt right?
She countinued to peek, pressing her ear against the door occasionally to get a better hear of the conversation, only to completely remove her ear from the door because what she had just heard was outright awful. How is she even meant to help this poor girl on the floor, crying and sobbing helplessly when there were four others staring at her disapointedly and some of them shouting insults towards the girl. God, how is someone small and timid like Dahyun even supposed to save the girl from this situation if they’re both the same, if they’re both rejects from society just because of their sexuality. She’s got to do something, anything to save this girl but what—
And her ringtone goes off, fully on speaker to reveal Dahyun’s love for kpop.
Dahyun isn’t even surprised when she looks down to see Jeongyeon’s number flashing before her; fate always loves to play jokes on her, but maybe this time fate wanted to tell her something.
(Fate wanted to tell her something important, and that was to not be afraid and fight for her kind)
“Sana are you fucking kidding me? You’re one of those god forbid creatures... a gay?!”
Sana sobs harder into her palms, pressing her hand tighter against her mouth to stop her cries from falling. She tries to stop but she can’t. Her tears continue to fall as her throat tightens painfully, wrapping themselves around her words while her body fails to hold her up so she crashes onto the floor. She crashes with her knees bruised, her hands still clasped against her mouth, her body continuing to constrict herself as she curls into a ball trying to hide herself. But she can’t, not with Jihyo’s finger pointing towards her with absolute shame, not with her friends all staring at her as if she was some sort of freak, not with the person she even trusted the most, her beloved friend Mina, who hid against the shadows. And worst of all Momo, Momo her best friend who she spent her whole childhood with, looking away from her disgustingly as if she was just another disappointment.
“What’s so wrong with me? With this?” Sana sobbed harder her hands clutching the tiles, her tears raining down onto the floor. She wished that she was never like this and that Tzuyu had never given her the hope of confessing, because now all of her friends despise her for such a simple thing which is just liking girls. She felt her eyes scorch dry up as the remainder of her tears fell; her heart searing with heat and pain forcing her body to limp closer to the floor.
Until a hand caught her. And a voice snarl with disgust.
“Nothing is wrong with you Sana, they’re the ones who’re wrong.”
But that voice was strangely lighter than anyone’s she’d heard. It was not even close to Tzuyu’s, or even Jeongyeon’s, and it was strangely more smoother than both their voices. Sana’s lifted her eyes up and...
Nayeon snorted back, laughing at the way the stranger thought she was so powerful. ”What are you one of them too? A god’s mistake?” Her head snapped back to meet Sana’s fearful eyes. “Sana how the hell could you even turn out this way, huh?”
“What would people think when they find out about you, do you even know how badly your parents would react to this? They put you into such a nice school and you turn out like this?” Momo asks desperately pacing around the room.
“I cant believe you, all those times you spent with boys, what was it, all a lie?”
Jihyo growled under her breath. “I should’ve known, I should’ve known by the way you were looking so disgustingly at that blonde tomboy—“
Dahyun felt her head spin. With so many whispers, so many snarls, they were all looking at her disgustingly like this was all a mistake. She felt her eyes slightly water, her hands sweat as she gripped harder against the fabric of Sana’s uniform, hearing her cry harder against the whirlwind of terrozing comments and stares. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t fight against them. Not when she opened her mouth and her voice failed her, instead a soft whimper coming out. She failed Sana, she couldn’t protect her, she failed Sana. She couldn’t protect her own kind, she couldn’t protect herself—
And then a slap. All of their gazes snapped down towards the sound to see Jihyo against the floor staring shockingly up at Mina, hand against her cheek and tears falling down her face, leaving a trail of dismay from her crystal eyes. It happened so fast—in the flash of an eye—no one could even move from their places. They were all frozen waiting for the next move to be made, for someone to say something.
Then Mina clenched her jaw tighter, boring holes into Jihyo’s eyes with her stare and Dahyun knew what would come.
It was the same look Chaeyoung had given her father.
“You don’t get to say that about Sana, none of you do.” Mina breathes out heavily. “Just because she’s... gay, that doesn’t mean she’s any different than us. I mean look at us! Look at the state we’ve put her in, just look! She’s crying against the floor, her knees are fucking bruised, she can barely breathe and none of you even tried to help her. Who’s the monster now huh? Look at her, look at us! We’re the monsters, treating her like she’s nothing.” Mina’s jaw shook slightly, tears running down her face but she continued to keep her stance.
Everyone looked back at Sana with horror, their eyes bleeding shame and guilt when the snapped their heads away but still with a hint of pride clouding them, refusing to believe they were the sole cause of her pain.
”And you guys are calling her the god forbid creature, what kind of friends are you huh? What happened to supporting each other till the end? What happened to making sure we’d never hurt each other, all those promises, huh?!” Mina shouted agressively, her eyes pointing daggers against each one of her friends. No one could speak now, every single one of those comments and stares vanished as they all looked down at themselves, at the monsters they’ve become.
Dahyun could see the pride being stripped away slowly from their eyes as they took a peek towards the victim, Sana, who was still trembling with fear and her gaze fixated downwards to the dull brown of the classroom tiles.
Mina laughed. “Now you’ve realized, who’s the real monster. Sana, even if she was gay, was still the same as us this whole time right? She’s still as kind as ever, she’s still as strong as ever, and she’s just the same. Just because she’s lesbian, that doesn’t mean she’s any different. You guys are all actual monsters.” She snickers. “Even you Momo, I thought you’d at least not say anything, but looks like you’re just like the rest of the world. Homophobic.”
“Come on Sana, let’s get out of here.” Mina took both Sana and Dahyun’s hand, and left the classroom, leaving the rest of Sana’s friends behind.
— — —
They all sat in silence stunned by the way the quietest girl, Mina, had all left them speechless. With nothing to say because she was right. She was right about everything she said, about how they hurt Sana without even caring once about her, about how they were the real monsters. They let Sana cry on the floor with no one to protect her, and they didn’t even care once.
“What kinds of friends are we?” Jihyo looks down onto her hands, the same ones that had pointed so accusingly towards Sana with no care whatsoever. “We made her cry, we broke our promise of always supporting each other and never hurting each other.” The hands that once pointed so shamingly towards Sana were now filled apologetic tears. “I’m so sorry Sana, I’m so sorry. I lost control and—”
Soft hands wrapped around Jihyo’s figure and pulled her close for a comforting hug. “We’re all sorry and we all lost ourselves Jihyo, not only you. We’re all at fault.” Nayeon placed her hands against Jihyo’s cheeks, rubbing off the tears while softly cooing into her ears to calm her down. “We lost our friend because of society’s expectation that being... being gay is wrong. But, Sana is really the purest and kindest person I know out there and if she is really gay then society is wrong about people, she isn’t the one wrong. I guess what Mina said really did put some sense into us.”
Nayeon breathed out and ran her fingers through the younger’s caramel hair. “I mean... I’m still not used to it either yet, believing that Sana is this way, but I guess we’ll have to get over it sooner or later right?” Jihyo sniffled as a reply and nodded her head against the older’s chest. She couldn’t help but smile softly at the smaller girl who was tucked inbetween her arms, her head resting snugly against the older’s chest as she quietly sobbed; it was a stark contrast because usually Nayeon would be the one crying against Jihyo’s shoulder, but it’s nice change once in a while. She wondered why society had frowned so deeply against gay people and she could kind of understand, it’s unnatural and rare and even a sin in some religions, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Maybe, once in a while, she should also question how society views things because Sana is so kind and sweet and for her to be equivalent to a monster is impossible, she guess she just needed Mina to dig that into her brain. Into all their brains actually.
Nayeon shifted her gaze towards Momo, seeing the Japanese’s head lowered as her arms covered her face. She walked closer towards the younger girl, making sure to make her presence clear in case she wanted to be alone. “Hey, Momoring, you alright? Don’t be so harsh on yourself bub, we all were at fau—”
Momo shakes her head lightly, looking up to the older’s comforting eyes with her own terrified ones. “You—you don’t understand Nayeon. Sana was my friend, my best friend in the whole world, and she and I had been together since childhood.” Momo saw Nayeon nod slowly. “And I just abandoned her... she had trusted me the most, and I just left her there. I didn’t even— I didn’t even feel anything! Seeing her cry there, I didn’t even care, I didn’t even thinking of helping! We had been best friends since childhood, and I was more than ready to break all ties with her right then and there!”
Momo clutched the sides of her head and pushed herself up to meet Nayeon’s height. “I was so concerned about what others would think of her, about what would her parents think, of what people would think of me if I was friends with her. I didn’t even think about her once, not even once Nayeon! Tell me Nayeon, what kind of friend am I? What kind of horrible person does this!” She falls to the floor holding Nayeon’s hands, the older staring back shocked, her left foot stepping backwards as her knees went weak because everything Momo was saying was right. Everything she was saying was true, Nayeon hadn’t cared once about how Sana felt either. She had only cared what others would think of herself. “Tell me what kind of friend am I?” What kinds of friends are we?
Momo sobs quietly. “I don’t deserve her.”
Nayeon stood there, looking down at her friend with nothing but shock and disappointment within her eyes because both Mina and Momo were right. She didn’t deserve Sana at all, none of them did, not if they only thought of themselves. With nothing to say, she pulled Momo’s body closer to hers and hugged her as tight as she could, muffling the japanese’s sobs with the fabric of the uniform. More tears soaked her shirt as she let the truth sink in a bit more, reality becoming a slight blur as her sight started to mix all the dull colors within the room.
They really were the worst friends in the world.
(And she had no idea how to fix it.)
— — —
Tzuyu sighs when she sees five miss calls from Mina, walking outside her room to call her friend. She sighs even harder when she sees three of her friends on the floor crying and sighs more when she realizes that she has absolutely no clue on how to deal with any of them.
“All you have to do is apologize, it’s as easy as that. And accept her for who she is.” The youngest says, gaining all of the three’s attention. “Though the accepting part may take a while, which is expected.”
— — —
Jeongyeon was looking downwards, her words failing her as she opened her mouth and closed it right after. The small keys wrapped around the pinky of her hand, feeling the way the sharp edges of the iron dug into her skin. Right beside her was Chaeyoung who looked slightly disappointed, her face cradled within one of her palms while the other rested flat against the table of the empty coffee shop.
”I mean... it’s expected but still, it’s so disappointing that they’d react that way towards her.” The smallest spoke softly into the air finally breaking the silence. “I just hope that they realize their mistake at least.”
Dahyun scoffs. “You should’ve seen the way they completely abused Sana, it was horrible. Even I was shocked, I couldn’t even say anything. Thankfully Mina put some sense into them even if it meant slapping one of them to shut them up.” Dahyun’s phone vibrates violently (she finally decided to keep it on silent) and she leaves it there for a few seconds. “I’ll be impressed if they even manage to apologize with what they said.”
The drinks come their way and Jeongyeon thanks the only barista in the coffee shop, giving her a small smile as she places their order down and thanks them for being so loyal customers. It’s not like they’d choose any other shop to go to, this was good enough. The oldest grabbed the end of her glass, placing the straw between the crease of her lips and slowly sucking against the straw, savoring the melted chocolate that ran through her mouth and the soft Oreo bits that needed chewing on; loving the way when she chewed on the soft cookie, the vanilla would mix with the chocolate and extend its flavor, making it one of her favorites whenever she could waste time. She watched as her friends laughed, throwing two straws into their milkshakes and using all the air within their lungs to see who could finish it first, and laughed herself when Dahyun had finished around thirty seconds before Chaeyoung, the short haired girl staring longingly towards her lost ten dollars that the older happily flaunted. Another great memory that she’d cherish, definitely something worth taking a picture of, so she does.
“Jeongyeon you should probably confess, you know that right?”
And everytime something just has to ruin the moment.
“See Jeong?! Even Dahyun agrees with me.” Chaeyoung puts her hand up for a high five which Dahyun first looks confused to, but then immediately returns with enthusiasm, because who can reject a high five right?
Jeongyeon sighs and dropped her head into the darkness that her palms could provide against the illuminating white light above their seats. Why were her friends so adamant about her confessing to Sana? Yeah, okay, now that it’s confirmed that Sana does like girls back, that doesn’t mean she likes her
right. Jeongyeon stopped her mind from even getting her hopes up slightly. Sana didn’t like her, she didn’t, she couldn’t and she wouldn’t. Sana just fell for another girl, some other pretty and nice girl not one who had a messed up childhood and now only lives with a father. The time Sana left her in that music room by herself has damaged her self esteem more than enough and she doesn’t need another blow to start crying over it again.
”Jeongyeon why can’t you just accept the fact that, maybe, Sana returns your feelings? I know it’ll be your first time confessing but seriously if she rejects you it’s not like it’s the end of the world.”
She knows she’s overreacting but maybe it would just feel like the end of the world if Sana were to reject her. She means, if it felt like that once already, who says it wouldn’t twice?
Chaeyoung sighs. ”Come on Jeongyeon, at least get a grip and say something.”
Jeongyeon side-eyes her smaller companion. “You’re forgetting that not only did she leave me alone in the music room when I told her before that I liked her, but she walked out of our performance and she was the only one who did! If I got rejected once, what makes you think I won’t again?”
Chaeyoung groans and throws her head back. “Bro that was a whole two months ago, have you seen the way she stares at you like bro, bro,” the short haired girl extends the word, trying to get her point through the blonde, “she likes you. I can see it, Dahyun can see it, but you can’t see it because you’re afraid of getting rejected again. You are, aren’t ya?” Chaeyoung clicks her fingers (to Jeongyeon’s annoyance) when she sees the older’s face slightly guilty.
Dahyun really doesn’t want to reveal the truth, she really doesn’t, but it’s so hard to keep it hidden when she knows a relationship could be blooming right now and her friend could be happier.
So Dahyun speaks. “Look Jeongie, I may not know Sana or the relationship you have with her, but the way she described you to me was kind of heartbreaking. She really misses you Jeongyeon, and I don’t know what you did to capture her heart that way but you definitely did leave one hell of an impression on her. It’s okay if you don’t tell her your feelings—I mean really it must be hard if she rejected you once already, but at least, y’know, say hi.” She sees Jeongyeon looking down towards the comforting mahogany color of the table. “Even if she didn’t exactly leave such a good impression on you.”
She sees both of her friends looking at her expectantly and one of the faces more pleadingly, and she drops her forehead onto the countertop with a grunt. “I hate you both.” She mutters loosely.
“I’ll take that as a yes!”