Work Header

Contradiction (Villain Deku)

Chapter Text

Bakugou Katsuki was an enigma.

A paradox, a contradiction.

I never understood him even when I tried to.

Kacchan was confident and brave when we were growing up and I looked up to him. I wanted to be like him. His smile to me was like the sun, so bright and amazing and like a moth I would follow that fire, tagging along behind his back.




Those were my happiest moments and my worst memories.

Because Kacchan turned dark and cruel when we turned four.


"Izuku can be read as Deku. It means useless. Like you!"


His pure smiles and laughs turned to cruel smirks and only mouthed horrendous words to me. His hands that brought me warmth before now gave me painburns and...undeniable hate.


" Just   leave   me   alone useless   Dekuuu !"


("............, wha........? ..............'Deku'? ...........hurt.............again?!")


" Deku you   useless   bastard You   think   you   can   bump   shoulders   with   me ?!"


("............give up! Even...........All Might.........believe..........!")


" Maybe you'll get your quirk in your next life. Why   don't   you   take  a  swan   dive   off   the   roof  a  building ?"


("........hurt....... shitty........promise.......")


Our pinky promises together were now forgotten and I'm the only one holding up my finger like a goddamn fool.


(".........give up........! You..........!)


"You're just a small pebble in my way!"


Yet he was blinding. He was amazing, so much more than All Might. He was so much closer to me than to anyone else. I was waiting, waiting, waiting. For him to come back to me. My four year old self would still reach out his hands to him, trying to help him if he would just accept my hand...accept me.


"You think I need your help?! You think I would need help from a useless quirkless shit like you?!!"


("Why are you such an idiot?!!! Why.........important.........?!! Why...............cry........?!!! WHY.......HELP............?!")


As a moth to that flame, even when I always tried to help him, even when I worry for him, even when I only said my truest feelings...he burned me. Even now when I left his side and from that light that showered him with glory, he was still burning me.


(".............JUMP! PLEASE................... JUMP! I...I---!!!)


fell from that light...


(" ................. ! ...................... !!!!!)


" Die , Deku ."


left the side of the heroes.







White streams of light spills from a windowpane above, brightening the dingy small room and reflects the forest green bushy hair of a young boy sleeping soundly as he snores. He unknowingly does not stir up even as the door of his room creaks open.

A young man walks into, his feet pads over the wooden floor at each step. Red eyes above heavily wrinkled bags darted to the sleeping boy with a menacing glare. His face was undescribably dry, skin peeling off from his cheeks to his neck. He scratches the side of his neck with his right hand, pinky out. Scratching and scratching furiously until his neck was red, bare and bleeding. He reaches out his other hand, long fingers stretched almost touching the sleeping boy's face and he smiles grinning wide as if waiting for something to happen.

Each finger touches slowly...

One finger on the green haired boy's temple.

Another to his forehead.

Another over his closed eyes.

Another over his cheek


Nails dig deep.

"OOOOOOOOOOWWWW!!!!!!" Midoriya Izuku screams and shuffles around his bed, scrambling away from the culprit who woke him up in pain. "That hurts, Tomura-saaaan!!!"

The young man, Shigaraki Tomura, gave a sly smile before he jumps to the bed and stretched his back before he slumps to it. "You are late for the meeting, you brat..." He mumbles as he took Izuku's blanket from and covered himself, wrapping his long body like a cocoon and sighs comfortably.

"Hey! Hey! Tomura-san! You can't sleep as well! You're leading the meeting!!" Izuku tries to pull his blanket away. "You're the leader of the League, right?"

Shigaraki growls under his breath, yet Izuku noticed his mischievous tone. "This will be your fault...since someone was late I had to get you...I had to walk from the bar to your room...and I was playing games last night and.....Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz..."

"Waaaaah!" Izuku whines as he tugs the blanket in vain from Shigaraki. "I'll do anything so wake up, please!" But the moment those words slipped from his mouth, he already regrets it.

Shigaraki shuffles out from the blanket and Izuku wants to cry when he sees that triumphant smile. "...Anything?"

God, he's so sly.

"Yes..." Izuku can't take back his words now. It's Shigaraki, it's Tenko.

Red eyes lights up excitedly like a kid buying a new video game and Izuku feels his heart jump and his own cheeks flushing. "Say something that you love about me and give me a kiss everytime."

He's  soooo  sly.

Izuku loves him. He truly loves him. Somewhere in his mind he felt these strong feelings even from when he was young. Izuku feels that he longed for Tenko for so long and so much and it confused him because he only met him when he was in middle school.

Izuku smiles as he took Shigaraki's right hand, "I love this hand...that gives me the warmest touch..." Izuku kisses each finger with a quick peck and grins. "Yet destroys our enemies with a single touch.."

Shigaraki chuckles and swipes his hand away. "Damn right."

Then Izuku grabbed Shigaraki's chin and pulled him towards him. "I love this filthy mouth..." He pushed his lips towards it, moaning when a dominating tongue explores him but he pushed Shigaraki away  before they would do anything that it'll make them truly late. "...that licked and tasted every filthy thing of mine and liked it."

Shigaraki licks a corner of lips playfully.

Izuku pulled Shigaraki's cheeks to him, studying those eyes. "I love these red eyes so determined to see through your dreams even when I'm sure I'm not part of it."

Shigaraki's eyes widened but didn't say anything else that made Izuku only smile sadly. Shigaraki has plans for everyone, for this fucked up society and Izuku can only accept that he's not Shigaraki's priority. It's okay. It's okay. It's oka--

Long fingers grabbed Izuku's cheeks forcibly that he almost loses his balance and fell off the bed.


The young boy can't help but shudder. Shigaraki's voice was low and commanding and...angry. "Tenko...?"

Red glaring eyes darted towards Izuku's green ones and he's afraid of passing out right there and then.

"Who said you're not part of it?" Shigaraki simply said.

Izuku's eyes widened. "Eh?"

Shigaraki squeezes Izuku's cheeks even more. "I said, who told you you're not part of my fucking plans?"

Izuku tries to loosen up Shigaraki's grip. "I did! I thought..." Izuku starts to have tears in his eyes. "Since I'm just a phony villain, since I'm just this lonely brat you found almost dead on the street, since I'm just a quirkless nobody like everyone told m---!"

Izuku didn't finish his words when Shigaraki lunges on top of him and started to take of his shirt. "Tomu---Tenko! What are you doing?!" Izuku only watched when Shigaraki tears his shirt in two. "Tenko!"

"THIS!" Shigaraki, sitting on top of Izuku's waist, his inner thighs holding Izuku down on the bed. His right hand and pinky out, binding Izuku's left hand to the bed and his other hand pulling Izuku's right hand towards him, letting Izuku show it's...scars. "I'll never forgive those people who let this happen!!! Those heroes that did nothing! Those heroes that praised this!!! I WILL DESTROY THIS SOCIETY PRAISING ALL MIGHT AS IF THERE WAS NO SINGLE PERSON HE COULDN'T SAVE!! "

Izuku's eyes trembles whenever he sees his scars. He was bullied, beaten, made fun of by his fellow classmates, his neighbors, his best friend, Kacchan. His teachers turned a blind eye, their parents praising their own children in having a dangerous quirk. Repeated burns and broken bones that lead him to an almost disabiling limb. Everyone one had a quirk, everyone praised heroes. Izuku did too. Soon he was left only with disappointment, sadness and pain.


"Izuku can be read as Deku. It means useless. Like you!"

"Just leave me alone, useless  Dekuuu !"

"Deku, you useless bastard! You think you can bump shoulders with me?!"

"Maybe you'll get your quirk in your next life. Why don't you take a swan dive off the roof a building?"

"You're just a small pebble in my way!"

"You think I need your help?! You think I would need help from a useless quirkless shit like you?!!"

"Die, Deku."


He remembers Kacchan was his friend. A friend he admired, a friend who he wanted to help, a friend who he wanted to be equal with. A friend who hurt him, who was part of these scars. Burns and pain and his heartbreak. He was the one who told me him he should kill himself. And he believed him. Kacchan, why were you so cruel? All Might, why didn't you believe me? World, why must they decide that we are evil and they are just? Yet when Izuku was on his deathbed, on a filthy street with blood all over him, Shigaraki Tomura was the one saved him. A villain.

"Tenko...thank you..." Izuku smiles.

Shigaraki huffs and threw Izuku's rag clothes behind him and..."Since that fucking thing is done." and proceeded to lick Izuku's bare chest.

"Gaaaah!" Izuku with his cheeks red, instinctively slaps Shigaraki's face. Yet again, regrets it almost immediately.

Shigaraki growls and there is no playful tone! I repeat there is no playful tone! "How dare you!!" He lunges both his hands, all fingers spread towards Izuku's face. Izuku stops them before it touches him, gripping Shigaraki's wrist in place.

"You promised you'll go the meeting when I said the things that I love about you!!!" Izuku explains.

" "Warm yet dangerous hands", "filthy mouth" and my "determined red eyes" was the best thing you could come up with?!!!!"

"I told you the truth! You're my type! And I love you so can you go to the meeting now?" Izuku had to do his special move, "puppy eyes with a finger fiddling Tenko's nipple" move.

And it fucking worked.

"Fine!" Shigaraki stands up. "I'm going, go in whenever you feel like it. That annoying bitch kept yapping about you."

"Toga-chan? I'll come to the meeting, I promise." Izuku waves goodbye.

Shigaraki pauses then turns around to leave but not without a kiss. Tongue rages around Izuku's mouth, he felt hands squeezing his ass and he can't help moaning. Izuku knees buckles and Shigaraki pushes him to the bed like a ragdoll. He licks his lips.

"Or don't come to the meeting, I'll come back here and give you a good time that you won't have the energy to think about stupid things."

Izuku covers his face, embarrassed. "Just go, you idiot!"

Shigaraki only laughs as he walks out the door and bangs it close, leaving Izuku like a mess without his shirt on.

He's soooo sly.

Izuku moves to look up his bedroom ceiling, thinking about what Shigaraki had said. He looks at his right scarred arms, frowning. Why do people have to be so cruel? Why was this society so unfair? Why did Kacchan hurt-?




Ow. Izuku touches the side of his temple. Whenever he thinks about the past, about his bullying, about his scars, about Kacchan....he gets this blinding headache. It's been getting worse now.

Izuku massages the side of his head, shutting his eyes to concentrate on managing this migraine for thousand times this week.

What is with this headache?

Izuku doesn't want to go the meeting anymore. He just wants to sleep. Wait for Tenko to come back, he'll know a thing or two to stop this.

Izuku sighs and lets himself relax as he closes his heavy eyes yet again.



Chapter Text



Huh? Who are you?

Izuku felt someone shaking him. He feels warm hands shaking him awake. But he can't open his eyes anymore. He feels like he's drowning in a bottomless pit but he knew he was drowning in his own blood.




Why are you crying?

Izuku feels the wet tears on his cheeks. Warm. He wants to see the person wailing beside him but he can't open his eyes. He can't move. He just feels the numbing pain all over his body and the uncomfortable cold in his bones.


"NOOO!! Open your eyes, please!!!"


Izuku wants to cry  as like  this person who desperately wants Izuku to wake up.

No one ever cried like this for him before. This is different from his mother's tears.



"Don't you fucking close your eyes! Don't forget me!!!"


What are you talking about? Why are you crying? This isn't like you...


"Useless shit like you are deadweight and better off dead."




Izuku feels this moment slipping away, that person's tears and cries slipping away from his reach, that name...what that name meant is turning dark and heavy in his mind as if something was preventing him from remembering.


"Izuku! Come on! Hahahaha!"


Izuku suddenly sees young boy reaching out his hand towards him. Kacchan. Ah. Four year old Kacchan. This is the time they were playing in the forest, trying to go to the their hiding spot. Izuku sees him smile, cheeks tinted pink and his red eyes sparkling. Oh. This is a memory. A memory when Bakugou Katsuki still hasn't discovered his quirk. A precious yet haunting memory.

Then as Izuku reaches for that hand even knowing in the future it'll give him pain, he was pulled into an embrace, around Katsuki's arms.

Izuku realized that the young Kacchan had already turned into a man, wearing what appears to be a UA uniform, smiling at him.


He doesn't remember this. Are these real?


("Let's see how the great All Might would look like when he sees his own successor turn into a villain~!")




("Sensei...I want him.")




("What do you plan to do with the boy, Tomura?")




("I want to break him! I want to dirty him to the point he can't go back to his precious All Might!! I can have anything I want, right?")




("I'll give him as a gift, then. Make him yours.")




("Thank you, Sensei.")




("But don't break him too much. There is no use in having an empty doll in our League.")





Izuku wakes up panting, his hands clutching his blanket tight, his bedsheets wet around him.. He looks around. Its dark. He looks up to see the only source of light in his room, the windowpane above, still dark. So he's been sleeping all day and its nighttime. But he feels unusually tired. Its been like this for a week. Is he sick?

Wait...was he crying? What was he..What was he dreaming about again?

He can't remember. Its all slipping away in between his fingers. He only remembers crying and screaming and...what else?

Izuku sighs as he sits up and throws his wet and sticky sheets in a pile at the corner of his room. He walks towards his bathroom, feet slowly plodding against the cemented floor as he tries to recognize the route from the dimmed room.

As he reached the side of the bathroom door, he finds and switches the light on.

Izuku winces and slowly opens his eyes to adjust to the bright white light of his bathroom...only to see a smack of red on his right cheek.

"Eh? Is this blood?" Izuku put two fingers on it to investigate. It felt dry and flaky. Dried blood? He then noticed his fingernails dirty of the color of iron.


He inspects the rest of his body, combing his hair for any injuries, checking his arms and legs for any wounds. Nothing.

Izuku thinks and immediately walks out of his bathroom, rushing to the pile of sheets he discarded, grabbed it and went straight back.

Red. Iron. Blood stains on his own sheets as well. What the hell?

Izuku pauses. What did he do before going to bed? Did he go somewhere? Did he have a mission with Toga-chan?





GAH. He can't remember. His headache is back again. Pounding and pounding, the pain spreading from the back of his head to the back of his eyes.





Izuku just threw the sheets back on the corner and washed his face and hands. If there are no injuries then he didnt do anything. Ask Shigaraki or Kurogiri-san about it...and a bottle of painkillers from the bar.

Izuku settles upstairs, one hand on the wooden railing, he walks up reaching the light outside of the basement. But pauses when he hears voices.

"He's getting headaches again...."

He hears Shigaraki's voice.

"Oooh! Then it's time for that again!~~"

Toga Himiko-chan. What are they talking about? Time for what?


"Stop it! Please, Deku-kun!"



Izuku knees buckle, almost losing his grip on the rail, from the sudden spike of pain on the back of his head. Everything turns fuzzy and Izuku tries to focus on the light of the bar in front of him. He hears the others continuing their conversation, unknowing to Izuku's pain.

"Shigaraki Tomura. You should cease this flimsy relationship you have with Midoriya Izuku."

Kurogiri-san? He doesn't like Izuku? But...he was always the one giving him advices on how to handle Shigaraki. He always gave him orange juices when everyone had alcohol. Izuku always felt comfortable with him. Why...?

"Don't wanna. It's fun to see those heroes' face when they see him everytime."

What are they....?


"Midoriya-kun...Fight this! You are not a villain! Remember us!"



Izuku screams, his ragged shouts echoes as he lost his grip and came tumbling down the stairs. Pain spreads around all over his body but nothing compared to the pounding in his head. He puts both hands over his head, writhing and shouting out the pain. He sees a figure at the top, hands both in his pockets.

"You fell?"

It's dark and swirling and Izuku wants to throw up. Izuku reaches out his hand.

"Ten...ko..." Izuku must be imagining things but he sees Shigaraki smiling as he slowly went down and picks Izuku up. Shigaraki carries Izuku back to his bed and covered him with the blood stained sheets.

"Dirty again..." Izuku hears Shigaraki say. "I'll get the things you'll need soon..." He sees Shigaraki leave, closing the door and turning Izuku's room dark.

Again? What does that---?


"Brother! What did you do to Midoriya?!!"



"GAAAAAH!" Izuku curls up on the bed, gasping for air, tears in the corners of his eyes when million of images, unfamiliar images, flashes in his mind. His head was pounding in white blinding pain and Izuku screams as he tries to scratch and pull his hair out to stop the pain.


Izuku sees an image of himself beside All Might, the enemy of the villains, the number one Hero, the one who'll die by Tenko's hands! Yet Izuku sees himself reaching out to the hero, thanking him, crying for him.


"You can be a hero."


What the hell is this?

Another memory flashes, Izuku wearing a UA uniform. Wearing his yellow backpack and going through Class 1A.

He doesn't understand. Izuku tried to kill himself in middle school. He became part of the League of Villain when he was 14!! He never took the UA exams but jumped from a roof like Katsuki says!!

Another image. Izuku saying hi to a girl with brown hair, her UA uniform turning into a body suit of black and pink. Uravity.


"Don't you think Deku sounds like 'I can do anything'?"




Another. Izuku smiling to a tall boy wearing glasses. Eating lunch with him. Saving him from the Hero Killer. Ingenium.



Izuku desperately shouting to a two hair colored boy. He looked calm, strong, with a quirk of fire and ice. Hero Shouto.


"Midoriya...Thank you..."




Then a hand suddenly grabs Izuku's.


("What if he remembers, Sensei? We couldn't change all his memories. He still remembered the brat.")


Big calloused hands. He knew it was dangerous, knew it will burn him. But this tightness on his chest wasn't fear. It was nothing like that. It was only...


Warm dangerous hands.


"What the fuck is the matter, Izuku?"


Filthy mouth.


"'s just..." Izuku looks up and sees...


Red determined eyes.


"Don't worry...I'm here, Izuku."


( "Bakugou Katsuki, huh? It seems we can't always erase precious memories." )


You are...


("But that's alright, Tomura. I already made a plan for that.")


You are---!

Izuku gasps as realized it now. He stops gripping his hair out of his roots, stops screaming in pain when he finally realized the truth. Tears neverending and his eyes wide when everything he knew of was a lie.

That name. These feelings. These longing. Those were his. Those were his true memories! I am not a villain! I'm All Might's successor!




"Izuku~! Come on! Hahaha!"


Kacchan. Katsuki. My best friend. These were my happiest moments and never my worst memories.


"Izuku can be read as Deku. It means useless. Like you!"

"Just leave me alone, useless  Dekuuu !"


No! Kacchan never hurt me! He never told me I was useless! These memories were wrong! I gave that name to myself when I realized I was quirkless!


"Izuku, what's wrong? Who called you 'Deku'? Did someone fu cking hurt you again?!"

" Deku you   useless   bastard You   think   you   can   bump   shoulders   with   me ?!"


Wrong! I was always by his side! Kacchan wanted me by his side! He told me to believe in myself even if others won't!


"Don't you dare give up! Even if that shitty All Might didn't believe in you, I fucking do,  Izu !"

" Maybe you'll get your quirk in your next life. Why   don't   you   take  a  swan   dive   off   the   roof  a  building ?"


He'll never tell me that! Ever! Kacchan is my friend! Kacchan is the only person there for me!


"Don't hurt yourself, shitty Izuku...promise me that."


He didn't forget our promise. I wasn't holding my finger like a fool!


"Don't give up, Izuku! You promised me! "

"You're just a small pebble in my way!"


He was the one waiting for me. He was the one trying to fulfill our promises!


"You think I need your help?! You think I would need help from a useless quirkless shit like you?!!"

"Why are you such an idiot?!!! Why do you always think your happiness is not as important as others?!! Why do you always fucking cry alone?!!! WHY WON'T YOU LET ME HELP YOU?!"


Kacchan wasn't burning me. I was burning myself. I wasn't myself then. Something was wrong...I tried to--




I tried to...


"NO! No! Noooo! IZUKUUU !!!!!"


...kill myself.

But I'm not dead! Kacchan and All Might must think I'm dead! The League of Villains did something to me. Tenko...No! Shigaraki Tomura erased my memories! I have to escape! I have to escape from this place! I have to go back! Go back to UA! To All Might! To Kaccha--!


Izuku shudders. He felt his hands and knees shaking, his heart pounding in his chest and sweat dripping from his forehead. He recognizes the voice behind him, behind the door, his only escape. A voice he was supposed to long to hear but now it only gave him the feelings of fear and dread...and disgust. It reminded Izuku on all the things he did with this man. Those kisses, those loving words, those passionate nights...


("Sensei...what will you do? What plan?")


Izuku slowly looks back and trying to smile and act it off. Don't let them realize you remember!


 ("A plan that'll make him yours forever.")



Chapter Text

"'Shigaraki-san'?" Shigaraki cocks his head to the side, his grin growing as he walks slowly towards Izuku and gently cupping the person's cheek. "Since when do you call me that?"

Izuku turns pale, almost biting his lower lip to stop himself from screaming when Shigaraki's hand went lower, sliding his fingers at Izuku's nape and from his collarbone.

"O-oh...I'm sorry, T-Tenko...I don't feel so well..." Izuku holds his breath when a finger crosses over one of his nipples. He grips his shorts at the side to stop himself from shaking too much. "My killing me..."

Shigaraki only smiles wider than before. "I'll give you something to help, then." He takes Izuku's right hand by the wrist, pinky out, and leads him out of the room.

Relax, Izuku! This is what Shigaraki usually do with each other. Relax! Relax!

Izuku walks past the bar, seeing no one. He was finally lead to another basement, a closed room at the very corner. It was dingy and dark, sounds of something dripping on a corner, he hopes its water , and Izuku tries to ignore the color of the walls. It spreads dark red, like splattered paint but its color was so similar to the blood on Izuku's cheek when he woke up. He doesn't like it here. It smells weird.





"Go in." Shigaraki said.

But Izuku doesn't want to. This place is scary.


" Gaaaaaaaaaah ! STOP! STOP!"



Izuku grips the side of his head when Shigaraki holds Izuku's nape and pushes him forward. Shigaraki opens the door and the weird smell intensifies. It smells like something was rotting and Izuku almost pukes when the stench becomes too much.

Don't go in there! Don't go in! Don't go in!

"I-I dont...w-want to, Tenko!" Izuku holds the edge of the doorway, pulling himself away from the room. His fingers bleeding when he pushes his nails to stop Shigaraki from pushing him inside.

Don't go in there! Don't go in there!


"STOP!  Midoriya...Stop..."



Shigaraki successfully shoves him inside and Izuku fell on his knees, feeling the wet sticky floor on his palms and knees. He closes the door and Izuku feels his heart racing during the few seconds of silence and darkness before Shigaraki turns on the lights.

Izuku screams.

The room were splattered not paint...but thick blood, all over the room. Chains decorated the small room, coated with rust and dark red blood. There was a metal table at the corner of the room, full of metal tools, torturing tools. Body parts scattered the floor, arms and legs, everywhere. Rotting and rotting, buzzing of flies echoes the quiet dark room. It looked like a massacre.

And in the middle of it...

A single person, chained up by their knees and arms attached to the floor. That person almost looked like part of the corpses scattered inside but when Izuku hears that person ragged breathing...that person's ash blond hair, stained with blood...and his glaring red eyes when he person looks up...

"Ka...cchan...?" Izuku whispers but slaps his hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming when he sees Katsuki's arms all in shocking positions. They were broken, bones popping out in inhumane places. Blood oozing out from his neck to his chest from slashes. He was tortured here. All this time, when Izuku was just sleeping in the same building... Kacchan was tortured...

He can't imagine enduring all this. Who did this to him? Who hurt him?

"Izuku..." Katsuki smiles, even when there's blood dripping from his forehead, Katsuki smiles when he sees Izuku standing before him. "I" He coughs, the sound almost turning Izuku pale. It was wet and gurgling, Katsuki can't breathe when he's almost drowning in his own blood.

Katsuki smile stops as he glares at the person behind Izuku.

"Nice reunion, huh?" Shigaraki puts an arm over Izuku's shoulder. Izuku pales, he bites his lower lip to make himself calm. "When's the last time you saw him, Izuku?"

Izuku sees a wicked look in Shigaraki's eyes. He's testing him. Testing if Izuku remembers. His heart pounds, he tries to control his breathing even when Shigaraki's touch lingers in Izuku's skin. Calm down! Calm down! Come on!

"Middle school..." Izuku looks Shigaraki dead in his eyes. " I jumped...on a roof when I couldn't take his bullying..." It took everything in him when Izuku gently holds Shigaraki's hand from his shoulder and kisses it. Let him think you're still his."Tenko...what is Kacchan doing here?"

Shigaraki frowns and swipes his hand back from Izuku. He simply snaps his fingers and a black mist portal opens up behind Katsuki. A noumu enters the room, immediately gripping Katsuki's hair up and makes the hero grit his teeth.

No! No! No!

"Stop!" Izuku shouts, almost running towards Katsuki but was pulled back when Shigaraki grabs Izuku's nape with a death grip, choking Izuku.

"Izuku!" Katsuki shouts. "Let him go, you bastard!"

"Stop?" Shigaraki smiles again, ignoring the blond hero and stares at Izuku's green eyes as he tightens his grip even more. "Why?"

"B-because...." Izuku shakes, his hands trying to loosen Shigaraki's grip on his throat. He's choking him! He doesn't know what to do. He can't think of a way to escape with Kacchan.

"IZUKU!" Katsuki struggles against his chains and the noumu's grip. "IZUKU!!!"

Struggling to breathe, the moment Izuku's vision darkened, the moment Izuku went limp under his hold.

Shigaraki lets go.

Izuku falls to the ground coughing, forcing himself to breathe again, rubbing his bruised neck. He looks up to Shigaraki and he sees those red eyes sad.

"I don't like it..." He simply said. "Those eyes crying...I don't like it...even if you remember..." Shigaraki looks over to Katsuki, eyes full of hate. "It must be because of this brat, huh?

Izuku freezes. "Stop, Shigaraki Tomura!" He grabs Shigaraki's ankle to stop him from going to Katsuki. If Izuku will let go...if Shigaraki touches Kacchan... he'll torture him again! "I'll do anything... anything, please...don't hurt him!!"

"Anything?" Shigaraki's eyes widened in excitement. Izuku only feels dread.

"Anything..." Izuku forced the words out. His eyes travels towards Katsuki. Still being held by the noumu's, his red eyes trembles. He tries to shake his head, telling Izuku to stop this.

It's too late. Anything so Shigaraki won't touch Kacchan. Because Kacchan is---

"Then let's play a game." Shigaraki holds Izuku's nape again, putting him place. "Noumu, let him go." The noumu follows the command, it lets go of Katsuki and Izuku sighs in relief.

Shigaraki pulls Izuku back, letting his chin rest on Izuku's shoulder. Izuku's lower lip shakes when he feels his breath over his ear. Katsuki growls at the scene. "A question game sounds good."

"" Izuku asks, his head still looking in front, looking at Katsuki, not daring to look back at Shigaraki.

"Answer all my questions correctly, you win! I won't hurt him!" Shigaraki smiles at Katsuki. "Answer wrong, we'll break the brat's fingers one by one."

Izuku tenses. No...not like this...

Katsuki screams. "Don't agree, Izuku!!" He grits his teeth. "Don't say yes! Don't answer anything!"

"Kacchan..." Izuku tears up. He sees Katsuki's injuries again. Blood dripping, bones broken...Izuku can't forgive himself doing nothing when Katsuki endured all this. We have to go back home. Izuku and Katsuki. Together.

Green eyes stare back to Shigaraki's. He grips his fists, swallows deep before saying, "Okay...I'll play."

Shigaraki grins. "Okay! Let's start with an easy one!"

Izuku gulps and only focuses on Katsuki's eyes for strength.

"How long have we kept you here?"

Izuku pauses. He doesn't know. Memories jumbles together, real and fake. Which one is it? When did he get kidnapped? When did they erase his memories?


"Stop it! Don't! Stay away!"



Izuku winces when a sharp pain shoots in the back of this head. He grips his hair behind. He still has these headaches. Which meant....he doesn't remember everything yet.

Katsuki struggles in his binds. Even if moving felt like fire in his skin, he tries to stop this. "IZUKU! STOP! DON'T THINK ABOUT IT! STOP REMEMBERING!!!"

Stop remembering? Why Kacchan? No. I have to remember. So Kacchan won't get hurt again. Headaches started...a week ago. Yes. They started a week ago and it only intensified ever since.

Shigaraki still gripping Izuku's nape, licks Izuku behind his ear, turning the boy pale so he can taunt Katsuki. "You should shut your mouth before I bite his ear off."

Katsuki grits his teeth.

"So..." Shigaraki asks again. "Answer the question, Izuku."

"A week..." Sweat dripping from Izuku's forehead, he looks at Katsuki then to Shigaraki. "You kept me in the League for a week."

Shigaraki smile falters making Izuku's heart race in hope. He's not smiling, he got it correctly? Please! Please!




Izuku turns cold when he hears the scream suddenly echoing the blood-stained room. His heart stops when his his eyes return back to his friend. To Katsuki...with his right index finger broken, folded backwards, blood oozing from the open fracture on his knuckles.

No, he got it wrong. Izuku's tears fell. He got it wrong. He did this to Kacchan.

Shigaraki laughs, a sick laugh that makes Izuku's blood boil. "Izuku! That was such a good try!" Shigaraki forces kisses on Izuku's face, licking the tears off his cheeks and Izuku wanted to cry even more. "We didn't take you from the heroes. YOU came to us!! So try again, my little Izuku~"

Izuku's eye widens. That can't way. That isn't true! He would never go to the other side willingly. Green eyes to Katsuki, to confirm, if it's a lie because it had to be. He sees those red eyes tremble, tears on his cheeks. Katsuki mouths something, Stop this, don't remember.




Fight the pain! REMEMBER! REMEMBER!




Kacchan was screaming at someone that time. To Shigaraki? To All for One?


"Don't you fucking close your eyes! Don't forget me!"


Something happened to Izuku. Something that made Kacchan cry.




Izuku grits his teeth in anger, glaring at Shigaraki. "I didn't go to you. You already did something to me, I slowly lost my memories and I...I tried to kill myself...then I went to you, Shigaraki Tomura. That was...that was almost 6 months ago."

"CORRECT!" Shigaraki smiles, despite Izuku answering correctly.

Izuku threatened. "Please do not ask trick questions."

"It wasn't a trick question, Izuku. You still have your memories all jumbled up." Shigaraki ruffles Izuku's curls and Izuku slaps the hand away." Just helping you like an old wise mage from a video game. It's fun, right?"

No. It isn't.

"Another question." Izuku gulps. "What are your parents' names?" Izuku's heart pounds. Is this a trick question? No, don't over think it.

"Midoriya Inko and Midoriya Hizashi." Izuku holds his breath, closing his eyes so he won't get to see another broken finger on Katsuki.

He hears Shigaraki say.

"Correct! Simple question, right?" Izuku sighs in relief and checks up on Katsuki. He sees him friend again, shaking his head, tears in his eyes. From the pain? Or from what Izuku is trying to do?

Izuku doesn't understand. What does Katsuki mean when he said stop remembering? Didn't he tell me to remember him? I have to remember. Kacchan is my friend. We have to go back to All Might. My mom. Uraraka-san, Iida-kun, Todoroki-kun, everyone from 1-A!

Let this end.

Shigaraki continues. "Point to me, where is the hero Uravity?"


"BASTAAAARD!" Katsuki screams again, more louder, more angry than ever before. He fights his chains even when Izuku knew it must feel like hell. "STOP THIS OR I SWEAR I'LL KILL YOU IF I EVER GET OUT OF THESE CHAINS!!!"

"Kacchan?" Why is Kacchan angry? Why is Shigaraki asking about Uraraka-san? How the hell would Izuku know where she is? She isn't even here. Where is Uraraka-san? How can Izuku answer this question?

Izuku stares back at Katsuki, his red blood dripping from his chains, to his metal chair, to the ground. The red stained ground...blood everywhere...limbs everywhere. Izuku notices a hand at the corner, a woman's hand from her pink nails...from her fingertips.


"Deku-kun, please! Please! Stop this!



"GAH!" Izuku goes limp, his knees buckles and Shigaraki lets go of Izuku's throat. He falls to the ground, whimpering and screaming. Izuku's hands grip the side of his head, pulling his green curls down to its roots. Pounding and pounding, like his own head being crushed slowly.


"Please! Don't do this! Don't do th is!"



"Come on, Izuku." Shigaraki smiles, just looking at Izuku's writhing self at his feet. "You know where she is~ Didn't you see her last week?"

Images starts to flash inside Izuku's head. More memories resurfacing. Red. Red stained hands.



Izuku stares at his red stained hands while there was endless screams ringing in his ears. Screaming and screaming, yet Izuku feels nothing. No. He couldn't feel anything. He knew he was crying, as he feels tears in his cheeks pouring out. He stares back at the person in front of him. A girl strapped in a chair. A girl screaming his name.




"Izuku! Fuck, stop remembering!" Izuku hears Katsuki. "You don't need to remember!"


The girl's screams echoes again. Izuku stares back at his bloody hands again and now there was a knife. Sharp and clean compared to Izuku's hands. He sees his reflection, his green blank eyes p with overflowing tears. He was smiling. Smiling ear to ear when blood splatters onto his cheeks. When he uses the knife in one swift blow



Izuku vomits. He tries to cover his mouth but bile pours out of his mouth, mixing with the blood pooling on the floor.

Oh...oh my God...

He cries, backing away even more, crawling out, staying away from anything that reminded him of what happened here. He remembers now. Uraraka-san. He...he...

Izuku tortured her.

He covers his eyes, so he won't look at her hands. Her hands on the pile of limbs scattered in the room. Her chopped up hands he played with in front of her and then discarded. He...chopped her up while he smiled endlessly.

Izuku is trembling. Shaking on the ground, crying and screaming on what he had done. He...killed her. His friend. Uraraka. His friend. He tortured her while she screamed at him to stop.

"No..." Izuku mumbles, his hands still covering his eyes. " No no no no no..."

"Izuku..." Katsuki whispers, dropping this head. "You don't have to don't have to..."

Shigaraki walks up to Izuku and crouches down to him. He gently holds a finger on Izuku's chin, pointing it up and pushing away Izuku's hands that covers his tear-stricken face. "Izuku? Still wanna play?"

Izuku's eyes waters. "Shiga...raki...why?"

"You took her even against my orders." Shigaraki swipes the tears gently away. "You gave her as a gift to Toga."

Izuku shakes his head. "No...That wasn't me..."

"Izuku..." Shigaraki sadly smiles. "I never forced you to do anything..."

"I don't believe you!" Izuku continues to shake his head, not accepting anything. "You're lying!"

"I never told you to torture anybody...not the girl, not the hero Ingenium, nor Todoroki Shouto..."

"NO! NO! NO!" Izuku shuts his eyes. This isn't true! This isn't real!

Yet memories returned, stains of blood returns...



Iida Tenya... Iida-kun crawling away from Izuku, crawling towards the exit, dragging himself away leaving a trail of blood from his missing legs. Crawling and crawling away from the monster behind him. Izuku is holding a piece of Iida- kun's  leg, admiring the engines on his calves.


"No! Iida-kun! Stop!" Izuku cries out.


"Brother, what did you do to Midoriya?!"

Todoroki Shouto... Todoroki-kun screaming under Izuku's hands as he slowly broke his bones one by one. 206 bones. 206 times. One by one by one by one. Izuku holding an anatomy book with one hand while breaking his friend's bones with the other. With his own hands, with a pair of pliers, with a sledgehammer, with his quirk... Izuku gives the hero to his brother, Dabi. As a gift for his revenge...He hears Todoroki's screams as he was burned alive, Izuku only smiling from the delightful music and the beautiful blue flames reflecting in his eyes.


"NOOOOOOOO!!!" Izuku's screams echoes the room, fighting the sound of laughter coming from Shigaraki.

"Izuku! You are the best villain we have!" Shigaraki pulls Izuku up by the arm, crushing him with a hug. "You are the best! MY best villain! You are wonderful!"

"I'm a hero. Hero. Hero. Like All Might. A hero. Hero Deku." Izuku stands lifeless in Shigaraki's arms, mumbling repeatedly. "I'm not a villain...I'm not..."

"But you are! You always choose us!"

Izuku tries to pull away but Shigaraki wouldn't let him.

"Everytime you couldn't take it anymore." Shigaraki pulls Izuku's cheeks to him, his red child-like eyes inches away from Izuku's. "You torture your fellow heroes, killing them, you eventually remember everything because of that stupid head of yours..."

Shigaraki shakes Izuku's head side to side mockingly. "You cry and cry and just as fast of the snap of my fingers, you forget! Always coming back to your room, all bloody and dirty and just wake up like an angel you think you are!


"You chose to forget and you chose to become a villain again and again and again!!"

No. No. No. NO NO NO!!

"You chose us! You chose ME! Just because you couldn't stand the fact of what you did!"

I didn't...This is a lie!

"You're dirty! Stained! A monster with blood on your hands!! You don't deserve to be a hero now, right?"

"SHUT UP!!!" Izuku screams at him, tears still in his eyes, the look of heartbreak reflects on Shigaraki's eyes.

"Hahaha! My dear Izuku, you're ruined." Shigaraki puts a finger over Izuku's eye. "You can never go back to that light! Your dear All Might!!!!"

Izuku's arms become limp, his head down, lifeless, as if he as given up. He feels the darkness consume. The red stains on his hands swallowing him up. Their screams echoing still in his ears.

"You're mine! You're mine! Mine! Mine! You can never--!!!!"

He...He can never...go back...never be..



"You can never be a hero again."

Chapter Text

"You can never be a hero again."


Izuku drops down to the ground as Shigaraki lets Izuku's cheeks go. He lets him fall to the guilt, the pain, the heartbreak even when Shigaraki knows this isn't the end of his suffering. There are still things he doesn't remember after all. He made sure that it will not go down to that. Since he detested on what will happen.

"It's okay, Izuku. It's fine..." Katsuki's voice soft , his eyes staring at the trembling green haired boy on the floor. "No matter what, I'm here. I'm gonna fucking save so please, don't---"

Izuku doesn't even lift his head from Katsuki's words. "Listen, damn it! You're a hero! Hero Deku!! You promised---! Listen, you idiot!!!"

Shigaraki clicks his tongue from the noise, raising his head from the stilled Izuku to the blond hero. Red eyes glares at Katsuki, trailing from the hero's fucking hands, to that fucking mouth, and that fucking red eyes on him.

He thinks Izuku can go back to being a hero? What a load of shit.

Izuku is his. HIS. Like always, Izuku will choose him again. He chose Shigaraki when he tortured his comrades. He choose him again. Even if Bakugou Katsuki is--- even so---!


"Let's continue the game." Shigaraki commands. With a flick of his finger, the noumu's who was waiting immediately grips Katsuki's hair.

Not even a response from his Izuku. He keeps looking down and down. Did he crack again? Did he forget once more? Did he choose Shigaraki once more and leave this brat to die? Finally?

"Izuku." Shigaraki calls, he frowns again seeing tears trickling on Izuku's cheeks. He hates that. Tears on his Izuku. If he'll cry, he'll cry looking at him. Green eyes on him while he's fucking the daylights out of him. Not because of this farce. "Izuku, let's continue the game or I'll break another finger on him." Shigaraki taunts, testing if Izuku still has the desire to save the brat.

Izuku slowly nod. Damn it. Bakugou Katsuki, you fucker.

"Where is the hero Uravity?" There was bite on Shigaraki's voice.

Izuku sluggishly points to a woman's hand at the corner. Good. Good. Good.

"Where is the Hero Ingenium?"

Izuku sobs again, his voice low. "I...I chopped up his legs and made him crawl until he bled to death."

Katsuki closes his eyes in frustration and Shigaraki giggles at the sight of him.

"Where is Todoroki Shouto?"

Izuku covers his face, shaking his head. "He's not here. I...I watched him turn to ashes when I gave him to Dabi." He hugs his knees, nails almost digging on his skin.

"Oh, Izuku~!" Shigaraki can't stop smiling at the scene and he whips his head up to see Katsuki's face. To see that he's won. To see that Izuku is his. Izuku can't become a hero again so he'll choose him. Choose Shigaraki. Right, Bakugou Katsuki?

But, Shigaraki Tomura sees that neverending hopeful red eyes.

"Izuku, it's alright. It's alright." Katsuki's voice echoes on the room. "You're still a hero! To me, you're still a hero, Izuku!"

The faithfulness in those annoying red eyes.

The forgiveness in it.

"I'll save you! You are a hero! Always will, you idiot! You're my--! You're my hero, remember?!!"

Pretty words inside a room of a massacre. What a load of horse shit.

"Ka...cchan..." Izuku slowly looks up. His green eyes that were full of tears, blank eyes that were supposed to be full of helplessness... suddenly lights up. Eyes now turning bright with hope and dependence. "I'm...I'm a...hero..." A smile slowly forming. "Katsuki's hero... I'm a hero."


Shigaraki bites his lower lip at the scene. He feels the urge to scratch his neck again, the urge to just kill Bakugou Katsuki immediately, the urge to show Izuku who truly owns his ass.

Not enough, huh?

Not enough!



Even when he didn't want to come to this...

So be it.

Let him remember everything then!


"Ah!" Izuku cries out when Shigaraki pulls his hair, dragging him forward to Katsuki. He kicks some arm or two that gets int he way and pushed the boy in front of Katsuki's legs. Izuku looks up, eyes trembling of guilt and sadness. Katsuki looks down, eyes still haven't given up.

"Who is this?" The question stuns Izuku for a moment. Green confused eyes follows Shigaraki as the villain circles around behind Katsuki, pushing the noumu aside. "Izuku, who is he?" Shigaraki asks again.

"Ka...cchan..." Izuku answers.




Blood splatters on Izuku's cheeks, when the noumu silently breaks another finger and Izuku hears only the most horrifying sound in his life.

"GAAAAAH!" Katsuki screams.

"Stop! Shigaraki, stop!" Izuku clings on Katsuki's legs, a will to protect. "Please, please, please! I answered your question!!"

"That's not the answer I want." Shigaraki frowns. His fingers crawls over Katsuki's neck, middle finger up and Izuku even wished those hands are on him rather than on Katsuki. "WHAT'S HIS NAME?!"

Izuku shuts his eyes, hearing this own frantic heartbeat against his ears. Please let this end. Let this nightmare end!!!






Green eyes shock. The sound of breaking bone, the way Katsuki's legs twitched in pain on Izuku's arms, the wet warm blood dripping on Katsuki's fingers to Izuku's cheeks, the muffled scream from the hero.

"Why..." Izuku stares in disbelief, at Katsuki's teary eyes, his broken fingers, at Shigaraki's unmoving frown. "That's his asked me who he is and I answered!!!"

Shigaraki shakes his head. "That's not the answer I want." He says again. His hands linger again on Katsuki's throat.

"I don't know what you want, Shigaraki!!"




















"Gaaaaaaaaaaah!" Katsuki's tears and scream was too much for Izuku.

Stop! Please! What does Shigaraki want? What answer?! It's impossible for Kacchan to have a different name. What more can he do to me? I remember everything now, right?! I did all those things because of him! Because I---Because I killed people I care about! I hurt them, tortured them!!! Kacchan, can I still be a hero? Can I still be your hero? I don't know want you to cry because of me! I can't let them hurt everyone I lov--

Izuku freezes.

"I'll rephrase the question." Shigaraki cuts Izuku's thoughts. "Who is Bakugou Katsuki to you?"


Please no.

Izuku jaw drops when a ping of pain shooots through Izuku's head.


"Izuku." A smile. A wonderful smile.



Stop it! Stop it!


"Hey, nerd. Don't go...Let's just sleep here." Pink cheeks spreading ear to ear. Beautiful ruby eyes.  My---




"Give me your hand." Warm. Like the spreading heat of Izuku's cheeks .


Please! Please!

No more! I don't want to know anymore!

"You don't understand, Izuku." Shigaraki lets go of Katsuki's throat and slides towards his chest, trailing the blood. "I think you don't understand the question at all." Shigaraki nudges one of Katsuki's wound, making him wince. "Brat, help him out. I know you want it."

Though it took less than second for Katsuki to follow Shigaraki's wishes. Because he wished for this himself.

"Don't forget me." Katsuki cries. "Even....even though I hoped you didn't remember what you did. I still didn't want you to forget me."

Kacchan is...Kacchan is my...

Izuku pushes Katsuki away, crawling again away from him. Mouth still agape, fresh new tears flow. Red spread on Izuku's cheeks, eyes shining in shock and...

and happiness but----

Shigaraki eyes the pair, his lower lip bleeding from his frustrated bite, tightening once again his hold in Katsuki.

"Izuku..." Katsuki's voice vulnerable, as tears warning to flow. "Don't fucking think I'll let you go. Not this time. Not anytime. Because we made a promise, remember?"



"Hey, Izuku. Promise me that---"



"Promise me that we'll become partners, okay? Since we're gonna be damn heroes soon...and...since we' know..." Cheeks tinted pink.






Katsuki struggles in his binds. His voice getting louder and angrier when he sees Izuku shaking his head. "You promised, you idiot! You fucking promised me!"

THEN I---!!




His warm hand on my chest.

His red glowing eyes on mine.


His almost burning chest against my breathless one, our sweat mixing with every touch we made.

He's warm. So warm inside of me.

Every moment was bliss. Everytime you fill me inside was as intimate as what we wished we could be.

"Say my name... my name..."

The deep pressure building, almost breaking, almost out of the edge.

"Ka--" You kiss me.

"Ka...Ka..." I kiss back, my nails digging on your back.

"Ka-Ka-Ka...!" I couldn't hold it anymore.

I couldn't stop the voice that came.



...ATSUKI!!!" Izuku cries. "His name is Katsuki." He hugs his knees together as he screams the truth. To hide his tears, his eyes, his heartbreak, his longing. "My best friend. My everything. MY PARTNER! I LOVE HIM!"

Shigaraki almost wanting all fingers touching on Bakugou Katsuki's throat in the background, eyeing the two love birds now.

"Izuku." Katsuki smiles. Even in pain, he smiles at Izuku. Just like the day he met him as a a child, just like the day they became partners. The hope in his eyes. The happiness in Katsuki's face.

Only his face. Not Izuku's.
"And who did this?" Shigaraki's questions, a wicked smile in his face.

Katsuki smile drops. One tear fell on his face, mixing with the pool of blood on the floor. Roundface's blood...Engineboy's...Half and half's...

...and his own.

Izuku screams the moment the tear touched the ground.


Izuku holds a bloody cutter in one hand, the other...he dips his fingers on red blood pooling on Katsuki's chest.

"Red. Red eyes. Red cheeks. So warm. So warm. Kacchan is so warm. Your blood oozing out is so warm. Kacchan. Kacchan. I want Kacchan to bleed. Red is beautiful on you. Kacchan is so beautiful in red. One more, okay? One more cut, okay?"

" Izu ...ku..." Katsuki tries to calm his breath, fighting the pain. When he sees Izuku in front of him, he can't help but...

"Kacchan, you're so weird. Why are you smiling? Do you see something funny?" Katsuki shakes his head.

Izuku frowns. "You don't smile. I don't remember you smiling." Izuku shakes his head. "God, my head is killing me."

" Izu ..ku..remember us?"

"Remember what? How you told me to kill myself? How you burned me, this arm to the point I became a  villai ---" Izuku pauses. "Kacchan, you're such a weirdo. Why are you...crying?

"You're... crying, too.  Idi ..ot..." Katsuki can't help the tears that flow. Even if Izuku did this, even if he hurt other people...he cries when Izuku did the most hateful thing he ever did to him.

"Izuku. Don't forget me. Not again. Not this time. Not anytime." Katsuki confesses.

"I-I-I can never forget you!! Because you're the reason I'm here! Because you---Huh? I can't remember...why am I here, again?"

"Izuku, promise me...I'll never let you go! So please...don't you fucking forget me again! Don't go back to them!"

"Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"


"Shut up, Kacchan!"

"Izuku! Izuku! IZUKU, YOU'RE MY---!"


The cutter drops to the ground. Izuku's hands make way on Katsuki's. In just a split second, Katsuki couldn't even react when Izuku holds his right arm in a crushing hold.

"I LOV---!"



"Cruel... you're so cruel..." Izuku's eyes blank, staring at the ground, at Katsuki's broken arms, at his tears.

Shigaraki lets go of Katsuki, circling in front of him and leans on his broken right arm. A big grin on his face. "I think you know who really is cruel here, right?"

Izuku couldn't hold it in. The shock, the heartbreak, the guilt. He did this. Again! The person he loves so much, the person who believed in him...he....

"So answer the question, or I'll break something other than your boyfriend's finger."

Izuku cries once again, spilling the truth. "I did...I tortured him here...I broke his arms while l laughed. I stood there slowly making him bleed because I liked it. I hurt the man I love!"

"Love?" Shigaraki says mockingly. "Are you sure you really love him when you did that to him?"

Izuku trembles. He hurt him as well. Katsuki, I hurt you and I can't forgive myself for that.

I can't do this anymore...I can't be a--

"Don't listen to him! You didn't do this to me! You didn't hurt the others! Shigaraki made you like that! He's the one who took you away from us, away from me! He turned you against us! So it's not your fault!!"

Shigaraki leans on Katsuki's, his expression dark. "Who will you choose? Me or him?"

Katsuki growls at him. He knows what that meant. He knows what the bastard wants Izuku to answer. He's asking if he'll go to the side of the villain's or the hero's?

"I'm sorry..." Izuku whispers but Katsuki heard it loud and clear and made his heart drop. "I'm sorry..."

Katsuki couldn't sees his eyes, his green beautiful eyes that made his heart swoon. He can't see if he's lying to him right this moment. But he knew it was just like those eyes before. Blank. Eyes that have lost hope. Eyes the moment he wanted to forget everything else. He doesn't want to see that again!

Katsuki needs to say it. Now. Because he feels he can't reach Izuku anymore. "I LOVE YOUUUU! I...I love you so much. I won't let you go! No way, Izuku! I'll find a way to bring you back even if it'll kill me!!!"

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry..." Izuku stands up, slowly walking away from the open room, leaving him. Leaving Katsuki and Shigaraki alone.

Shigaraki waves goodbye, knowing that when Izuku leaves the room, he had decided the League. The villain.

He everything. He was supposed to be. We were supposed to be partners. But why are you leaving?!! IZUKU!

"Don't leave me! Don't go!" Katsuki's eyes water when he sees Izuku reach the doorway, one foot out.  He sees him look back, the tears in those sparkling green eyes. The sad smile on his face. His eyes just like the moment they decided to become each other's everything. But why is he leaving? Leaving him again? Crying and crying and leaves Katsuki in the dark everytime. "DON'T GO! DON'T DO THIS! PLEASE, CHOOSE---!!"

Izuku turns his back.


Izuku drops to the ground outside the doorway, unconscious.




          It felt like forever. The waiting, the praying, the hope. It felt like eons waiting for him to wake up, Katsuki doesn't care about anything else but Izuku waking up. Please please please...don't forget. Forget everyone. Forget him. He feels like this is the last chance he'll ever see his Izuku again. His Izuku. The one person he held on to for so long. Everyone had a moment to throw the towel, a moment when they think they couldn't get Izuku back. Roundface, EngineBoy, Half-and-half, the teachers, even Auntie Inko, even All Might....

But not him. Not Katsuki. If he gives up, if he let's Izuku go, who will Izuku have left? Who will be waiting for him when he gets back? Who else will believe in him?

So please. Just like how he endured these injuries in the hands of Izuku, just like how he endured the torture of his comrades... Katsuki cannot take another heartbreak when he sees Izuku's face. His face when he doesn't remember all of him. He looks at him but he looks right past him. Even as a hero who have fought so many villains, Katsuki who spilled blood and sweat and broken bones in his body, when those eyes look at him so unknowingly...

It shouldn't kill him but it does.

It does.

So Katsuki panics when Izuku suddenly moves, waking up. He feels Shigaraki's anticipation beside him, fidgeting. No. Don't expect anything, Shigaraki Tomura!!!! Because Izuku has to choose him. He has to! Izuku is a hero, his hero, his partner so he has to choose him--!


His heart stops and his stomach flips when hears that voice, full of innocence and kindness but he didn't call his name.

"Tenko? Why the heck am I sleeping in this dirty floor? Is this blood?"

A tear fell. And again. And again. Katsuki's vision starting to blur and his breath hiccups and he feels he couldn't breathe. Izuku chose to forget him.

"DAMN IIIIIIIT!" Katsuki wails, his broken crying voice stinging Shigaraki's ears and shocks Izuku. For the first time, Katsuki finally felt it. The excruciating pain of his broken arms and fingers, the cuts on his chest from the cutter, the chains digging on his skin. The pain he had to endure for him. For Izuku. But now, it's over... Izuku is...



Shigaraki laughs, a relieved one. To think Izuku chose him again. No more tests, no more kidnapping useless hero eggs for UA. Izuku is finally his. Finally his. He'll be by his side forever.


A seed of doubt blossoms and he knows how to prove if it's true.

Shigaraki leaves the crying Bakugou Katsuki's side and heads for Izuku. Izuku looks up to him with a smile. Pure, beautiful. Just like the times when he wakes up and sees Shigaraki's face for the first time.

"Tenko~? Pull me up~!" Izuku reaches up with two hands. Asking to help him up, asking for a hug. God, what a baby Izuku is. His Izuku is. But don't relax yet.

"Stay on the floor." Shigaraki says as he strips off his black long sleeves, showing his thin yet fit figure. "I'll fucking pound you to death for making me even doubt all of this."

Shigaraki sees Izuku bloom red on his cheeks. Is this even true? Did Izuku really choose him? Well, one way to found out. " Strip or I'll decay all of your clothes right now."

"Tenko?!!!" Izuku waves his hand around, embarrassed. "Kacchan is here!!! God, what did you even do to Kacchan while I was asleep?! Wait, why was I on the floor to begin with?! It's dirty!!!"

Katsuki heart sinks even more when he realized Izuku doesn't care about his well-being anymore. He really did it, forgotten him.

"Shigaraki Tomura..." Katsuki calls, his voice broken without any bite or anger or even anything anymore. He doesn't have the will to win anymore. "Stop it...just kill me...I don't have anything left anymore....just kill me!"

Izuku stares at him dumbfounded. His eyes watering. "Ka...cchan? Why?" Green eyes stares at Shigaraki's. "Tenko? Why is he saying this? You can't kill him."

"No." Shigaraki answers. To Katsuki or Izuku?

Shigaraki pulls Izuku up by the hand, forcing him to stand by his side. "Bakugou Katsuki, I'll let you live. Always remember what I'll do to Izuku every night from now on~"

"Tenko, shut up!" Izuku shouts at him, embarrassed.


"Bye bye!" With a snap, a black portal of mist opens up, swallowing Katsuki.

"Wait!" Izuku cuts. His hand pulling Shigaraki's to get his attention. "Let me say goodbye! I haven't seen Kacchan for years and he's already leaving!"

Shigaraki studies Izuku's face before he flicks his head as a yes. Izuku runs towards Katsuki, then.

Katsuki couldn't see Izuku's face clearly, the tears blurring his vision. He might thank those tears. He doesn't want to see those eyes that have forgotten him. He feels the darkness swallowing him up, he sees the patch of green running towards him and turns his vision a shade of green.

Izuku...Izuku...if it's in your hands, I'll gladly die...please...

Katsuki feels a touch on his cheeks. He hears a whisper on his ear before the darkness took him in and he falls to a patch of grass, the black mist sending him to an unknown place.

Katsuki lying on the grass, red blood from his broken arms and chest mixing with the green grass. No more tears were shed. Just his heart crumbling to dust. His throat clogs up and he couldn't scream right now. He couldn't curse, couldn't say anything else as response to the last words Izuku said to him.

The words he always wanted to hear. The words that meant he'll never be with him ever again.




"Please be a hero and live for me."

"I'll always remember you, my K a tsuki ."