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Barnes Is Mine!

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Peter always had questions for Avengers. Peter always had doubts. But to air the questions, he needed to pick a good time for them.

If he asked when everyone else was asleep, he would get smothered by pillows, legs and in a worst case scenario, a hammer lodge deep inside his skull. If he asked during mission, he would have tanks and buildings flying towards him. If he asked during training, he would end up wrapped by his own web. If tried asking during movie night, the caramelized popcorn, the soda—all those sugars always made him forgot what he wanted to ask in the first place.  

In the end, after few pulls, pushes and tugs, the teen finally decided that the most appropriate moment to ask a question was during breakfast, over pancakes, waffles and bacons, while everyone else were mostly seated. No chairs would be flying across—because everyone was using it— the room and he would still get fed.

"So, Your Majesty..?" Peter drawled through a mouthful of waffle.

It wasn’t a usual scene to see T'Challa having breakfast with the Avengers in the kitchen, much less with her sister, Shuri, all the way from Wakanda. He'd be damned if he failed to pin the man with one or two question that has been tickling the back of his ear for months.

T'Challa looked up from his mug and smiled gently at the teen. After knowing how close his age with Shuri, the man couldn’t stop the fondness from blanketing the young superhero. "Hmm? What is it, Mr. Parker?"

"So you like like Sergeant Barnes, huh?"

Without warning, T'Challa sprayed his coffee across the counter. Some caught on Shuri's hair.

Wide eyes, the princess let out a shriek of disgust. "Brother! Was that necessary?!" She shrieked again and huffed as she snatched the tissue from Natasha's awaiting hand.

Clearing his throat, the king of Wakanda wiped his mouth with a napkin casually, albeit the panic raising from the lowest part of his belly. "I'm sure I have no idea what you're referring to."

By now, everyone was watching the interaction in between Peter and T'Challa. By now, Bucky was hunching down at the far end of the kitchen counter as he tried to make himself invisible. Had he sat next to Steve, he could have hid his head inside his best friend's shirt.

Similar to a confused child, Peter stopped chewing and cocked his head to the side. "But at the airport in Germany, you said it yourself." To T'Challa's horror, the teen stood up and tried to mimic the king's stance, accent and voice. "Barnes is mine!"

In front of T'Challa, Shuri lost it, toppled over her own chair and cackled until she almost fainted. "Dear, Bast! He sounds just like you!"

Two seats away, Vision snorted his coffee through his nostril.

"Eww, Viz!" Wanda watched in horror at Vision's unholy state. "That's gross!"

Lips pursed together, T'Challa put his mug down with a muffled clack and looked up, eyes pinned on the excited teen. When their eyes clashed midway—light brown met eerie black— , Peter flinched like he was stabbed by a hot poker.

Then and there, T'Challa looked like a homicidal villain who had ninety-nine percent of his humanity tossed into another dimension and less like a king of Wakanda. And when the corner of his lips quirked up by two millimetres, Peter made a noise that was similar to a startled cow.

"I suggest you to run now, Spider-Man. Because ready or not, here we come."


So far, Earth's security has been breached by Gods, aliens from another dimension, aliens from another galaxy and a talking tree. So to see Peter Parker running like a madman inside the building, chased by an enhanced individual, King of Wakanda and a hundred years old super soldier, both of them hot on their heels—or paws in T'Challa's case—had left Nick Fury unimpressed the moment he entered the building. The former Shield director didn’t even bat an eye when the inside of the building has been re-decorated by what he could tell as, Spider-Man's web.

"Eeeeekk! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Peter was all screaming as he jumped and made a leap to the left when T'Challa made an attempt to tackle the teen. "Why are you both chasing me?! Mr. Stark, help!"

Nick had watched the footage inside the tunnel in Bucharest where Black Panther was chasing the Winter Soldier on foot. The scene before him at the moment was more or less similar, but ten times more dramatic. No longer had the gun and knife strapped to Bucky, but it was enough to scare the bejesus out of the fifteen years old for Peter to run like that.

Hands clasped behind his back, the teen ran passed the former director before he made a grab for the handrail as leverage and made a leap easily down towards the first floor. With his enhance physiology—strength, speed, agility, etc—, Peter could have easily shake anyone off his tail. But then again, Bucky and T'Challa were above normality, thousand miles away even. They were evenly matched. Worse, they were not a happy camper.

"OH God, please, stop chasing me! You guys are scaring me!" Peter managed to shout in between huff of breaths.

"We will stop chasing you if you stop running, Mr. Parker." T'Challa jumped in front of the teen, but Peter's Godspeed reflex quickly maneuvered his body to the side before the teen shot his web to the ceiling only to carry his body up by another two floors.

"No way!" The teen rounded the corner of the hallway and felt the hair at the back of his neck stood up at the feeling of Bucky closing in on him, albeit silently. Dear God, the guy really needed to wear a bell or something.  "I'll stop running if you stop chasing me!"

Nick only watched as they disappeared around the corner, leaving him with tons of spider web zigzagging throughout the area. He then walked towards Maria Hill at her workstation and approached her from behind. At any other time, it should have taken him less than a minute to reach to her table. But Peter's spider webs were everywhere, leaving the inside of the building similar to that one scene in Lord of The Ring.

The director was torn in between feeling amused or annoyed as he had to wade his way through the massive obstruction just to get to Maria. He might have ingested some but couldn’t care less. The worst thing that could happen was probably for him to spend half a day camping in the gents with mind altering diarrhea.

"Morning, boss." Without turning, Maria continued typing her report in her computer. Her hair, along with her torso, her computer—pretty much everything—was covered by the silk. But like Nick, she was left unfazed.

"Morning." Nick greeted back. "Have you seen Captain Rogers and Romanov? I have been trying to call but they are not picking up."

"Oh." She paused. "King T'Challa and Sergeant Barnes were chasing Peter Parker."

"Yes, I noticed that."

More tapping. "So he tried to shake the two super humans from his back."


"And he ended up webbing everyone else to the walls. I'm sure you can find Captain Rogers and Romanov somewhere in the kitchen or…" Maria mulled again, her mind working. "You can try looking for them inside the fridge."

On where he was standing, Nick made a quick scan of the place. "I see. That explains why it was so quite in here. And here I thought everyone was taking a day off." Only then, he noticed the rest of the staffs working in the Avengers were webbed against the walls, the ceilings, the stairs, some of them were even hanging upside down.

"How long does it take for this thing to dissolve again?"

"Two hours." Maria answered crisply. Now that Nick had a good look at her, she was probably left with no choice but to finish with here report as she herself, was stuck against her chair and table.

Nick nodded casually albeit the sudden cramping in his stomach. "Well, we'll just to postpone the meeting to tomorrow then."

"Not this afternoon, sir?" She tried to look back, but the web hold her head in place, but Nick sounded like he was in pain.

"No. I'm sure I'll still be camping inside the gents this afternoon."


Meanwhile, in the kitchen…

"Get your hand off my ass, Loki!" Clint hissed vehemently as tried to dislodge his body from the silk that was pressing him against the ceiling, again, only to fail, again.

Said man only closed his eyes and pursed his lips in irritation. "I can ensure you that my hand is not anywhere near you, Agent Barton! Your bottom is not that enticing no matter how much you convince yourself."

To say that he was sharing the same silk with Clint and strapped against the ceiling was hilarious was an understatement. It was a cosmic joke.

"How the hell did you get here anyway?!"

"To be honest, I have no idea." Loki sighed tiredly. "One moment I was stuffing the snake up into Thor's nose, the next moment I was here. What sort of sorcery is this?"

Clint gave a flat look. "It's called Spider Web."

"Sounds dull."

On one chair, tied together back to back with Shuri, Tony didn’t appeared the slightest disturbed with the ordeal he was in. Like being strapped by spider-web was his everyday norm. Then again, Peter was his protégé, so…

But he did sigh almost sadly.

"What is it, Mr. Stark?" Shuri craned her neck a bit only to see Tony staring at the mug of coffee in his hand with a sad and longing expression. Though right in front of, due to Peter's web, his, no, everyone's mobility has now rendered by ninety percent if blinking could be considered as movement at all.

"My coffee." Tony sighed again, hair disarrayed, unable to move his hand. "It's right in front of me, but…" More sighing ensued. "I guess this is how being cock-blocked feels like."

Not a moment later, Bucky stormed into the kitchen. Both panic and confusion reflected in his eyes.

"Bucky?!" Steve exclaimed despite the awkward angle his body was subjected in. Then again, Natasha had her left boot pressed against the left side of his face… "You alright? What's going on?"

"I, uh…" Short breaths leaving him, Bucky scanned the room with eyebrows scrunched together in concentration. "I've lost my arm. Have any of you seen my arm..?"

Shuri jerked on her chair and screamed, "You've lost it?! How could you lose it?! I'm sure I made that arm in a way it could not get knocked off easily while you run!"

Bucky visibly winced at Shuri's outburst and smiled sheepishly. "Not sure… I didn’t even realize I was chasing Parker with only one hand."

Silence. Okay. Awkward.

"Wait," Brows scrunched together, Clint called out. "I think I know where you hand is."

The super soldier perked up, eyes glimmering with hope. "Really?"



"I'm pretty sure your hand is the one that's grabbing my ass right now."

—The End—"