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Tree Bros With Interesting Foes

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Evan was five when he discovered his ability. He had been sitting in his backyard reading against a tree. Evan didn’t have any friends, besides Jared, but he loved talking to plants and trees. Young Evan closed his book and looked at the big oak tree. It was his favorite tree ever.

Evan went to start climbing the tree but the second he touched the tree his fingers turned into a bark color. Evan pulled his hands away and they went back to normal. He touched the tree again and kept his hands in place. His arms started turning into the bark as well. Evan kept contact with the tree until his whole body had turned into the tree-like form. Evan focused and was able to hold the appearance after walking away from the tree. His clothes and shoes also looked like bark. Evan was ecstatic.

Evan felt his hair and giggled when he noted that his blonde hair had turned into golden leaves. Evan smiled and let his body change back to normal. The little boy looked to the tree in front of him and could sense the joy it had. The tree liked being healthy and in good hands. The next time Evan touched the tree he didn’t change. Evan could control his powers.

“You know what tree” Evan smiled. “I’m not gonna tell Mommy or Dad about this. They don’t need to know. It can be out secret."

-+-

Connor was also five when he got his powers. He had been playing with little Zoe in the living room. Zoe had fallen over and Connor had reached to grab her hand. The moment they made contact time stood still for Connor. He felt his vision feel blurry and he watched a scene play before his eyes. It was Zoe and Connor, playing at the park the week before. This was Zoe’s happiest memory.

Connor watched the memory fade and he felt time speed up to normal again. He pulled Zoe up and she looked at him funny.

“Your eyes were purple” Zoe giggled.

“No they weren’t” Connor protested. “My eyes are blue!"

“Except that brown spot in your one eye” Zoe recalled.

“Yeah, I know” Connor mumbled.

Zoe continued the game and she pretended to fall again. This time when Connor grabbed her hand he could sense her emotion. She was happy.

That night at dinner when Larry came home he was greeted by his happy children. They both sprung onto him and tackled him to the ground. Connor felt time slow down again and watched his father’s happiest memory play before his eyes.

It was when Connor was a baby. His father was throwing a ball and Connor would tumble after it. Connor would attempt to throw the ball back, but it didn’t get far. Connor still had chubby baby arms.

Connor smiled at his father and felt his emotion. It was a mix of stress and happiness. Connor and Zoe hopped off their father and went into the kitchen to pester Cynthia. Connor would have to think on his new powers a bit more.

-+-

The two boys had no clue that they were the only people in the world to have powers. They both would discover new traits that came with the abilities they possess. The powers that the two had would evolve when they grew older, and they would eventually have to work together on this new path.

For every thousand years, two mortals shall be gifted with an ability of abnormal power. Only those worthy can have the power of gods.

Chapter Text

Day one of senior year had not started great for Evan Hansen. He had woken up with ivy covering his legs. A sign of stress. Evan had managed to get the ivy off of him and into the compost bin before Heidi had noticed.

As Evan grew older his powers became more advanced. Now, when his emotions were strong, he grew plants out of his body. Ivy was a sign of stress, a flower crown was for happiness and contempt feelings, when Evan was angry he had roses sprout on his shoulders, the list went on. Evan could also now grow any plant he wished at any time out of his arms.

Along with his flower abilities, Evan could now also make his forearms turn into the tree state without touching a tree. Evan discovered that he could re-grow his hands if they broke in tree form in under 30 seconds. Don’t ask how he found out, he had been experimenting.

When Evan had arrived at school, in the first five minutes he had shoved into a locker. The strange thing was…when Evan was slammed into his locker by Connor Murphy, he swore that his eyes had turned deep purple for a fraction of a second. Evan shook it off as a trick of the light and went to class.

-+-

Connor had known that the day would be a bad one from the moment he got up. He got into trouble with Cynthia and Larry at breakfast and Zoe was being her usual bitchy self. Connor had enough of the life he had been living and decided that today would be the day. He would end it all.

Of course that meant that his plan had to change drastically. Connor saw a person’s happiest memory the first time he made physical contact with said person. When he slammed Evan Hansen into a locker that morning after Jared’s “school shooter chic” joke, Connor saw Evan’s happiest memory.

It was a young Evan, he had to be four or five at the time, and he was attempting to climb a tree. The moment the young boy made contact with the tree his hands changed into bark. Connor watched as Evan turned his whole body into a tree and laughed about it. Hansen had powers like he did.

Connor snapped back to reality and stormed off. It could have been a dream, he had seen some memories like that before, dreams that felt so real…but weren’t. Like Connor knowing what his own happiest memory was.

Connor had managed to learn how to sense a person’s emotions through physical contact, and change them lightly. He could make a sad person happy and vise versa. Unfortunately, Connor couldn’t do the same to himself. He couldn’t make himself happy, he could only change others. Connor didn’t like changing people’s emotions, mainly because his eyes changed color when he did it. His eyes turned purple when he saw someone’s happiest memory, and they turned orange when he changed a person’s emotion.

Connor decided to keep an eye on Hansen just to make sure that he had seen a dream, not reality. In the first three classes of the day, nothing seemed off. He was just socially awkward. In gym fourth period, that’s when Connor saw the truth.

Since it was the start of the year, they had a day to do whatever they wanted. Some kids were playing dodge ball in the wrestling room. Some were playing half court basketball and then you had Hansen.

Hansen was free shooting since it was all he could do besides walking with a broken arm. Connor was spiking a volleyball where he could keep an eye on Evan. At one point Evan threw the ball too lightly and it was short coming back to his arms. Connor watched as Hansen’s arms shot out a few inches longer. Correction, it was his wrists that stretched out a bit and turned brown. Safe to say Connor was nothing if not curious now.

At the end of class Connor decided to leave a note for Hansen. He found a piece of paper and a pen in his sweatshirt pocket and wrote a quick little note for Evan to find when he went to close his locker.

Hansen,

We need to talk about something. It’s important for you…I think at least. If you don’t show up behind the stands at the practice field by 3:30 I will leave. I hope you show.

Sincerely, Me

Connor left the locker room and made sure Hansen saw the note before walking out to the hall. When Evan emerged he looked shook. Connor felt slightly bad about it, but how else was he going to get his attention. Connor could change emotions, not minds.

Connor was anxious the rest of the day. He had no clue if Hansen would show. How did he even bring up the sheer subject of having powers? Good God, today would have been so much easier if he had just planned to off himself. Would he still do it? Someone else out there knew what it was like to have powers. Someone knew the struggle. Connor decided to hold it off until he knew for sure what Evan had it like.

-+-

Evan was scared shitless. He got a note asking him to come to where the stoners hung out at. Evan was too scared to say no. He kept wondering who had asked him to talk. No one was acting weird around him. During study hall Evan grabbed his laptop and started his letter for the day.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Turns out today is not going to be a good day, or a good year. You know why? Because some creeper asked you to go to a place that screams stranger danger at you but you plan on going anyway. You are a freak in this world, someone who’s different. If only you had climbed higher. Or maybe is you had jumped instead of letting go. Who cares, no one would really notice if I disappeared. No one would care that the guy who is obsessed with trees, for a reason mind you, was gone. But, at least today you are you. And isn’t that what really matters?

Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend,

Me!

Evan printed off the version of the letter before deleting it from his computer. No one needed to know about his real feelings except him. Evan closed his laptop and just sat for a moment, pondering his existence.

“Umm” someone called. “Are you alright?"

“W-What” Evan gasped, sitting up. “I-I’m fine."

Why was Connor Murphy looking at him? Hadn’t he done enough! Evan was confused.

“I wanted to apologize for shoving you earlier” Connor mumbled. “I get angry easily, and I thought you were laughing at Kleinman’s dumbass joke."

“Oh” Evan mumbled. “Sorry. I umm…Ijustamwonderingwhyyouareevenapologizing."

“I’m not even going to pretend that I understood that” Connor stated. “I uh…I noticed that no one signed your cast."

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I know."

“I’ll sign it” Connor offered.

“You don’t have to d-do that” Evan protested.

“Do you have a sharpie?"

Evan tossed the sharpie that his mother had left for him over to Connor and walked closer. Connor grabbed his arm and yanked it closer. Evan winced a bit but he didn’t make a sound. Connor wrote his name so large that it took up most of the cast itself. Connor capped the sharpie and handed it back to Evan.

“Thanks” Evan mumbled.

“Hey” Connor recalled, holding out the letter. “Is this yours? Dear Evan Hansen, that’s your name…so I’m assuming that this is yours."

“Oh, thanks” Evan smiled, grabbing the letter. “English assignment."

“Sure” Connor nodded. “Now we can both pretend to have friends."

Connor walked away and Evan hurried to pack up his things. Evan rushed to his locker once the bell rang and sat outside until the crowd died down. Evan saw Jared walking to his car when he spotted Evan.

“Hey Evan” Jared called. “You got a ride home?"

“I’m walking” Evan mumbled.

“Alright then” Jared nodded.

Once the parking lot had emptied Evan checked the time on his phone: 3:25. He had to leave now to catch the stranger. Evan started the walk to the practice field and tried to keep himself from chickening out.

-+-

Connor didn’t expect to have Hansen see him getting beat up when he arrived behind the stands, but it happened. Some jackasses from the football team went to cornering him and were trying to hold him still. Connor caught Evan’s eye as he turned the corner and Evan froze.

Thanks for the fucking help Hansen!

Surprisingly, a moment later, two of the three goons went flying back and hit their heads against the stands. Connor grabbed hold of the third asshat and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Sleep” Connor hissed.

To Connor’s surprise, the last guy actually passed out. Connor had never done that before, so it made him a bit proud. When Connor looked at the other two, they had ivy wrapped around their ankles.

How the fuck did that happen?

Connor looked back to Evan and he stepped closer. He seemed pretty spooked.

“What happened to those guys” Evan asked.

“Ya know what” Connor muttered. “I’ve got no fucking clue Hansen. Now, you’re probably wondering why I asked you here."

“That was you” Evan mumbled. “I really don’t know how else to say this, but I wasn’t laughing at Jared’s joke."

“Screw Kleinman” Connor spat. “Hansen, I know that you have powers."

“What” Evan choked.

“Whatever the hell you can do with your arms” Connor explained. “I saw it."

Evan seemed worried. Connor knew the feeling. Before Connor could even blink, Hansen jumped up and slid between the crack of the two rows of bleachers and started running. Connor jumped back at the swiftness of Hansen’s actions before scurrying after him.

“Evan, wait” Connor yelled.

Evan didn’t look back and ran to the top of the stands. Connor started after him when Hansen fucking jumped off the edge of the bleachers to the ground.

Jesus fuck, he probably broke his other arm!

Connor ran to the ledge and was surprised to see a green rope attached to the railing. Connor grabbed hold and slid to the ground. Evan was gone.

“Jesus fuck” Connor muttered. “Hansen! The reason I called you out is because I’m like you! I have gifts too!"

Connor heard a crash from behind him and saw Evan lying on his back. From the look of things, he fell.

“Are you like fucking Spider-Man or some shit” Connor laughed.

“What do you mean Connor” Evan asked. “You ‘have gifts too’. What d-does that mean?"

“I’ve got powers dumbass” Connor groaned. “Not the same powers, but powers."

“Am I supposed to believe you” Evan scoffed, standing up.

“Yes” Connor nodded. “From what I saw, you got your powers the same time I did. What was the date? It’s burned into my mind, I can’t forget it."

“July 7th” the two said at the same time.

“I can’t do this” Evan muttered. “Were you stalking me?"

“No” Connor snorted. “I’ve got powers”.

“That’s bull” Evan huffed.

“My eyes” Connor recalled. “I know you saw it, earlier when I shoved you, my eyes went purple for a second."

“I thought it was a trick of the light” Evan mumbled.

“Man I wish” Connor laughed. “Tell you what, come with me to my place and I’ll explain my powers on the way."

“What good would that do” Evan demanded.

“Hansen” Connor groaned. “Before I saw your powers, I planned on offing myself tonight. I’ve got the fucking pills in my pocket still. I put it on hold because of you. You basically saved me asshole."

Connor pulled out the pill bottle to show Evan. He seemed to finally realize that Connor wasn’t high as a kite, although it sounded great for this situation.

“Alright” Evan caved. “But if I sense anything that even seems like BS, I’m leaving after I hit you in the head with an apple so hard you forget my name."

“I could never forget your name Evan” Connor whispered, just to make sure Evan didn’t hear.

-+-

Evan was in shock. He was sitting at Connor freaking Murphy’s desk, listening to him explain his powers. He even proved it by making Evan feel pissed at him before changing him back with a poke to his arm. On the ride Evan listened to how Connor discovered his abilities and they didn’t stop.

“Do you believe me” Connor asked.

“You honestly could have done the poking thing and that would have worked” Evan confessed.

“Your turn” Connor laughed, a real laugh, not fake like before.

“I am a living tree” Evan stated. “If I touch a tree, I can turn into one. I grow plants out of my body, I could literally feed myself on a deserted island because all I have to do is grow an apple out of my hand. I can’t explain it any other way."

“Show me tree form Evan” Connor begged.

Connor opened his window and walked through to the roof of the garage. He hopped down from the back and Evan followed. He didn’t trust himself to jump so he hooked his right arm to the ledge and let his arm extend with him so he could scale to the ground. Connor seemed surprised by Evan’s understanding of his powers when his arm shrunk back down to normal size and faded back to its normal color.

“You can use that big maple tree in the corner” Connor pointed.

Evan nodded and walked over. He placed his hand onto the tree and felt his body shift. Over time Evan managed to learn how to change his appearance so he didn’t look like Evan Hansen made of bark. He based his look off of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy, but he couldn’t change the leaf hair part of himself. When Evan had fully changed he turned back to Connor.

“What the actual fuck” Connor laughed.

“I actually like being a tree” Evan mumbled, changing back.

“That was cool as fuck Hansen” Connor grinned. “All I can do is change people’s emotions, and now I can make people fall asleep."

“Guess we’re both freaks” Evan sighed.

“Can you actually grow apples out of your hand” Connor asked.

Evan smiled and held out his hand he had an apple blossom grow out and sped the cycle up and in a minute there was a bright red apple sitting in Evan’s hand. Connor grabbed hold of the apple and bit into it.

“Tastes normal” Connor stated. “You could do that with any fruit?"

“Yep” Evan answered, popping the p.

“Connor” a woman called. “Come inside and introduce me to your friend!"

“Shit” Connor muttered. “I thought she wouldn’t be home for a while. Come on Hansen, Cynthia will kill me if I don’t introduce you."

“Okay” Evan nodded.

-+-

Connor spent the remainder of the afternoon watching Cynthia interrogate Hansen. She was asking him every question she could think of, from his grades to his birthday, Cynthia wanted to know everything. Evan was clearly not okay with being questioned so much and Connor kept trying to get his new found “friend” away. Eventually Evan lied and said that his mom needed him home for dinner. Cynthia let him leave and Connor went into his room.

Although Connor would never admit it, he had the hugest crush on Evan. He had for years. Since sophomore year he had wanted to talk to Hansen, but he never got the courage. This made the two of them both having powers that much more exciting, they had common ground. Connor could have answered most of Cynthia’s questions for Evan, but that would have been creepy.

When Larry came home, cranky as ever, he started spouting off reasons that Connor was a failure and why he hated him. Connor lasted a total five minutes before storming off and locking himself in his room for the night. Screw Larry, he had someone else out there that had powers.

“Connor” Cynthia called. “Honey, come down for dinner."

“Fuck off Cynthia” Connor muttered.

Cynthia turned and closed the door behind her. Connor was left alone for the rest of the night. He eventually fell asleep around midnight and was thankful for the dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two

Evan woke up to the sound of an alarm. He sat up and noticed that his phone was ringing, not an alarm.

“Hello” Evan yawned, good god he sounded sick.

“Hansen” Connor hissed, why did he sound different? “Look at your hands."

Evan looked at his left hand and jumped back. The cast was gone. His nails were painted?

“What the hell happened” Evan asked.

“I think we switched bodies” Connor answered. “I don’t know how, but some woman who looks an awful lot like you woke me up today. Your phone unlocked with my finger print, and for some reason ivy is everywhere."

“Stress” Evan mumbled. “When I’m stressed ivy grows out of my legs. Can we talk about this at school?"

“Yeah” Connor answered. “Just…pretend to be me for now, I’ll pretend to be you. We can work it out."

“O-Okay” Evan nodded. “I’ll see you at school."

Evan hung up the phone and sat up. He had to hurry if he wanted to be able to walk to school on time. But Connor drove to school so he had plenty of time if he was Connor. Evan dug around in the dresser and finds a light grey t-shirt to wear and when he finds Connor’s pants drawer, it’s all skinny jeans. Evan chose a dark blue pair, grabbed a pair of boxers, and went into the jointed bathroom to shower.

Connor’s face felt filthy. He felt disgusting all around. Evan took a quick, but through shower. Once Evan was dressed he washed his-Connor’s-face. God this was weird. Evan found a hair brush in the medicine cabinet and he decide to brush Connor’s long hair. It really needed it.

Evan found Connor’s combat boots by the foot of the bed and he slipped them on. He still had tons of time to kill. Evan risked walking down to the kitchen to find breakfast. Cynthia seemed surprised to see Connor up and actually in the kitchen.

“Connor” Cynthia called. “Do you feel alright?"

“I’m just hungry” Evan mumbled.

“Well, I have some gluten free pancakes for you if you want” Cynthia offered.

“Sure” Evan nodded.

Cynthia fixed Evan a plate and set it in front of him. He ate quietly while Zoe watched him. Larry was nowhere to be found so he didn’t bring it up. He also didn’t bring up that the pancakes tasted like moist bread.

“Are you sure you’re okay” Cynthia asked. “You never eat breakfast."

Shit! Why doesn’t Connor eat breakfast? Don’t freak out Evan, you can’t risk this.

“I uh, usually grab it on the way to school” Evan lied. “Figured I could save some money today and eat at home."

“Is this even home anymore” Zoe asked. “Honestly, you’re never home! This is just where your bed is at! We don’t matter, you just need a roof over your head! You’re probably high right now as it is!"

“I’m not high” Evan stated.

“Zoe” Cynthia growled. “Your brother wanted to eat breakfast with you for once, accept it!"

“Fuck off” Zoe cried.

“Watch your language” Cynthia yelled after her.

“Oh, so Connor can swear like a sailor, but I can’t slip up once” Zoe screamed.

Zoe ran off, most likely to her room and Evan looked down. He didn’t feel hungry anymore. Evan figured that if he was going to be Connor, he could try to fix his families relationship, except Larry, he seemed like a dick.

“Hurry up Connor” Cynthia sighed. “I don’t want you late."

“Okay” Evan nodded. “Thanks Cynth-I mean Mom."

Evan bound up the stairs to brush his teeth. He grabbed Connor’s messenger bag and looked across the hall to Zoe’s room. Evan didn’t want Connor to lose his sister. He knocked on the door and waited.

“What do you want” Zoe growled.

“Do you want a ride to school” Evan asked.

“Seriously” Zoe scoffed. “You aren’t going to drive off a bridge just so you can kill me?"

“I may be a total dick sometimes but I do care about you Zoe” Evan huffed. “If you want a ride, be ready in five minutes."

Evan left it at that and walked back to Connor’s room. He had a text from Connor asking him to bring the brown notebook with that was on the nightstand.

Evan (Connor): Also, im walking to my place. i refuse to walk to school.

Connor (Evan): Don’t you think that it would be safer if I just drove your car and left it at that. I walk every day.

Evan: im not u Hansen. Be there in 5

Evan sighed and walked over to Connor’s closet. It was colder out today, he wanted a jacket. Inside near the back Evan found a decently new grey hoodie and threw it on. Evan walked down the stairs and waited by the door. He saw himself walking into the driveway and opened the door.

“Hansen” Connor nodded.

“Hey Connor” Evan mumbled. “What the heck are you wearing?"

“All of your fucking shirts are blue except one” Connor cried. “The other shirt is white! I am wearing black pants because I’m not Evan Hansen, I’m Connor Murphy, stuck inside your body!"

Evan reached out to calm Connor down, but the moment he touched his shoulder he felt time slow down. Evan watched as a scene from last year played before his eyes.

It was the end of the year prior, Evan was packing up his things in his locker when Connor came by. Evan dropped his book on the floor and Connor picked it up. He handed it to Evan, then he walked away smiling.

Time sped up again and Evan blinked, Connor still looked pissed, but he didn’t seem to have noticed the change. So that’s how his powers worked.

“Alright Connor” Zoe called. “Let’s see how this goes. Hey Evan, what are you doing here?"

“Why is Zoe out here” Connor asked.

“I offered to drive her to school” Evan shrugged.

“What the fuck” Connor whispered.

“Are we going” Zoe asked.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “Con-err…Evan, do you mind taking the back?"

“It’s my fucking car” Connor screamed.

“What” Zoe cried.

“Shit” Connor gasped.

“Really” Evan muttered. “Screw this, you can drive."

Evan tossed Connor the keys and got into the back of the car. Zoe looked pissed but she got in on the passenger side. Connor muttered something that Evan couldn’t catch and started the car up. They started in the direction of school.

“I’m getting high after this” Connor muttered.

“No you are not” Evan hissed. “Because Evan Hansen doesn’t do drugs."

“Can I ask what the fuck is going on” Zoe asked. “Why are you two acting so weird. Evan, this is Connor’s car, not your car."

“I’m not Evan” Connor growled.

“What do you mean” Zoe laughed.

“Connor” Evan whispered.

“What the fuck do you want Hansen” Connor cried.

“Pull the fuck over” Zoe demanded. “I want to know what the hell is going on!"

Connor pulled the car over at a park and got out. Evan and Zoe followed.

“Me and Connor switched bodies” Evan confessed.

“What” Zoe laughed.

“I’m Connor Murphy” Connor sighed. “That dude with my face is Evan Hansen. We don’t know what the fuck happened, but we’re stuck like this. I swear this feels like a prank."

“That’s because it is, Son of Murphy” a man chuckled.

“Who the hell are you” Connor questioned.

“I am Loki, son of Laufey” the man bowed.

“Like the Norse god of mischief” Zoe scoffed.

“Precisely” Loki smiled. “We Asgardian folk have a fun little game we play. Every thousand years, two mortals will be given a gift of abnormal power. Only those worthy can have the power of gods."

“So this whole thing has been a game” Connor laughed. “You thought you could ruin my life for fun?"

“At least I didn’t give you the ability to turn into a fish” Loki grinned. “You would have tried to kill yourself."

“Change us back” Evan whispered. “Please."

“As you wish, Evan” Loki nodded.

The strange man snapped his fingers and Evan felt himself go back into his body. He sighed in relief and Connor did the same.

“Why the fuck did you do that to us” Connor questioned.

“It is a way to let you mortals know that you are the only two with powers on your planet” Loki grinned. “I must be going now. Heimdall, portal!"

Loki vanished in a beam of light and Evan turned back to Zoe, she did not look okay.

“What. The. Fuck” Zoe whispered. “Connor must have drugged me."

“I’ll explain after school” Connor muttered. “Let’s just go to school for now, I need one hour without shit going to hell."

-+-

Connor woke up somewhere that was not his room. It was a nice looking room, pale blue walls, wood flooring, very clean. But when Connor opened his eyes to a woman with blonde hair shaking him softly, he flinched back.

“Hey Evan” the woman smiled. “How do you think today is going to go?"

“Weirdly” Connor answered.

“That’s better than bad” the woman noted. “I’ll have breakfast ready for you when you get downstairs. Don’t forget to write your letter, ‘Dear Evan Hansen, today’s gonna be a good day and here’s why’! Love you Evan!"

The woman walked out of the room and Connor sat up. Why did that woman call him Evan? Connor went to run a hand through his hair but he was shocked to find that his long hair was missing. Connor walked to a different door and opened it, a bathroom. Connor went over to the mirror and almost screamed. He was Evan Hansen.

Connor ran back to the bedroom and found Evan’s phone. It unlocked to his fingerprint and Connor called the contact with his name.

“Hello” his voice yawned.

“Hansen” Connor hissed. “Look at your hands."

“What the hell happened” Evan squeaked.

“I think we switched bodies” Connor sighed. “I don’t know how, but some woman who looks an awful lot like you woke me up today. Your phone unlocked with my fingerprint, and for some reason ivy is everywhere."

“Stress” Evan mumbled. “When I’m stressed ivy grows out of my legs. Can we talk about this at school?"

“Yeah” Connor groaned. “Just…pretend to be me for now, I’ll pretend to be you. We can work it out."

“O-Okay” Evan nodded. “I’ll see you at school."

Connor turned off Evan’s phone and went to get dressed. He felt very awkward, he was in the body of his crush. Connor started to wonder how Evan sized up but he shook that thought out of his mind.

Evan Hansen only owned one non-blue shirt. And it was white. Connor grabbed one of the darker blue shirts and found a pair of black kakis, yes apparently those are a thing. Connor got dressed quickly and ran down the stairs. Evan’s mom was nowhere to be seen so Connor was thankful for the time to himself. In the kitchen there was a plate with waffles and bacon on it.

“No shit” Connor grinned. “Finally, something not gluten free!"

Connor actually ate breakfast for once and was grateful for the normal taste. Once Connor ate he quickly texted Evan to grab his sketchbook and decided to walk to his home to go to school.

-+-

Throughout the whole day Evan was on edge. Jared instantly went to bother him once he arrived, and kept giving him shit for getting a ride to school with Zoe and Connor Murphy. Evan ignored Jared and went to class. He didn’t need the attention.

“Hansen” Connor called, walking over. “I’m planning on trying to play what Zoe saw off as an illusion. Or a prank from us and that Loki asshat. If that doesn’t work, we try to convince Zoe that she was high, I don’t know how, but I’ll think of something."

“Why don’t we just tell her the truth” Evan sighed. “It could help grow your relationship. I offered to drive her to school to help. She looked pissed at you, but when I offered she softened up."

“I stopped caring years ago Hansen” Connor muttered. “If she knew about my ‘gifts’ she would give me up to some scientist assholes."

“Are you sure about that” Evan asked. “I don’t think Zoe would call you out like that."

“She’s Zoe” Connor muttered. “She would."

“Evan” Jared called. “Since when are you friends with Connor Murphy?"

“Since I didn’t treat him like an asshole” Connor snapped.

“Jesus” Jared muttered. “Evan, get your boyfriend on a leash."

“He’s not my boyfriend” Evan babbled. “We’re just friends. Maybe if you were nicer it would be easier for you to see that”."

“I am nice Evan” Jared laughed. “Tell you what, I’ll try to make amends with your friend here. We up for your place after school?"

“I g-guess” Evan sighed. “Connor?"

“We have to deal with Zoe, remember” Connor drawled.

“She can come too” Jared smiled. “I’ll invite her to come with, she doesn’t have jazz band today."

“Guess I’m going to Evan’s house” Connor sighed. “Fun."

“Yeah” Evan mumbled.

“I’ll grab snacks on the way” Connor offered. “What do you want?"

“Honestly” Jared grinned. “Anything that isn’t taffy or peanut butter."

“Alright” Connor nodded. “Hansen?"

“Gummy bears” Evan answered. “Why the sudden interest?"

Evan could have sworn that Connor had a faint blush, but that could have also been how warm it was in the school and the fact that he was wearing a hoodie.

“I do want to give this a try” Connor sighed. “If anything, for Zoe. I fucked things over with her, I’m not a total ass, just most of the time. I still remember that Zoe loves snickers so I’ll grab a few for her. Do you think Jared could give her a ride?"

“Yeah” Jared smiled. “I can do that."

The warning bell rang and the trio split off to head to class. Jared had a different homeroom than the powered pair so they walked without him.

“Alright class” The teacher called. “I have the seating chart on the board, you sit by who you sit by. I only move you if we have a problem."

“Hey” Connor chuckled. “We sit next to each other."

“Cool” Evan nodded.

The pair sat down at their places in the back and Evan pulled out his bag. Connor had thankfully remembered it during his trip in Evan’s body. Evan checked all of his homework and looked out the window. He was bored. Evan glanced around the room before sprouting tiny lilies on his finger tips. Evan had them wilt away into nothing before anyone noticed.

Connor had a pencil in his hand and was scribbling in his book that Evan had grabbed from the nightstand. He seemed really focused. Evan noted his bag sitting on the floor in between the two chairs and slipped his hand down before planting a navy blue rose inside the bag, no thorns. Fun fact, Evan could even grow fake flowers(They were alive, but don’t grow in the wild), he just had to think about it a bit more.

“What are you writing” Evan asked quietly.

“Drawing” Connor corrected. “I don’t know, just doodling. I kind of wanted to go into art school, but my parents won’t let me. They want me to go to ‘real college’ and get a ‘real job’ or some shit like that."

“Oh” Evan whispered. “I didn’t know that."

“We just met yesterday Hansen” Connor smirked, in a friendly way. “How would you have even known?"

The bell rang before Evan could answer. The two walked to their respective classes and Evan started to wonder why Connor just didn’t try harder to connect with his family, except Larry, he still seemed like a dick. Evan also hoped that Connor would take off his hoodie, he seemed to have pink cheeks a lot now.

Chapter Text

Connor felt happy. He was doing something Evan liked, so he hoped that would improve the boy’s opinion on him. Connor tried to keep his reaction neutral when Evan asked what Connor was doing in the sketchbook.

Drawing you, you dumb idiot! Get your head out of the fucking clouds Murphy, you aren’t good enough for Evan Hansen. He deserves a perfect girl who sees the good parts of him. Not a broken druggie who sees only good in him. You two are friends now, that’s what matters. How would you even bring up the fact of liking him. “Hey Evan, I love how you and I are the only two in the world with powers…now kiss me you idiot!" No, that wouldn’t work, that’s just fucking creepy. Evan deserves someone better than you. You can just be the supportive friend, that’s enough.

“Mr. Murphy” a teacher snapped, Connor didn’t give two flying fucks about her name. “Pay attention, it’s high time you listen in class!"

It was fourth period, right before lunch. Connor was tired of the class and it was only day two. They never learned anything as it was. He also hated the teacher.

“So sorry ma’am” Connor yawned. “But Mr. Murphy is the man who impregnated my mother. I think you’ve mistaken me for a douche who gives a fuck about life."

“I’ll tell you this one time Mr. Murphy” the teacher smiled. “You show respect to me, you get better grades. Sass off again, you’ll regret it."

“Why don’t we actually do something to help us learn then” Connor snapped. “I’ve been sitting here for four years! I haven’t learned anything of importance about our history except the population and the main cause of death for each decade. Teach us something that I might need. We get such low ACT scores because we aren’t taught shit! How about you teach us some WWII history, which is the name of this class, instead of spouting off the amount of people dying of starvation!"

“Who here agrees with Mr. Murphy” the teacher asked.

Every single person raised their hand. Connor smirked at the teacher as she flustered over the answer. Evan was sitting on the opposite side of the room from Connor but the taller boy could sense Evan’s awe. That made Connor smirk more, he impressed Evan. The teacher walked back over to her desk and pulled out her teacher’s copy of the text book.

“Open your books to page 30 please” the teacher whispered quietly. “Chapter one, the start of WWII."

-+-

Evan went to go hide in the library for lunch. He hated talking to people, and he didn’t even eat lunch. Evan had to work on his letter anyway. The boy sat down in the corner and pulled out his laptop. He thought for a moment before he started writing.

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today’s gonna be a good day and here’s why! Today, you got to see what it was like to have someone else’s “gifts”. That person was really special, they probably deserve a little better, but they’ve got it better than you.

Today you got to bond with Connor, he’s actually a great person. He is super kind, and although he has anger problems, he’s really helpful. He got the teacher in history to actually teach! Anyway, this is important to keep up. Someone has gifts like you, don’t let them go that easily.

Sincerely,

Your second best friend,

Me!

Evan printed out the letter and walked over to the printer. He grabbed the paper and placed it in his bag. Evan was glad that his letter was truthful for once.

“Hey Hansen” Connor called. “Is this where you hang out? I’ve found you here twice now tree boy."

“W-What” Evan mumbled. “I just like it here. Quiet, no groups to bother me. Why am I tree boy?"

“Because you like trees” Connor laughed. “And because you can turn into one, but that’s our secret."

“Right” Evan chuckled. “I don’t eat lunch as it is. It’s nice to sit for awhile. By the way, congrats on fighting with Ms. Fez today, it’s high time someone p-put her into gear."

“So that’s her name” Connor smiled. “I never would have guessed. Come out of this hiding hole for five minutes, Kleinman wants to talk to you."

“He can come here if he wants to talk to me” Evan protested.

“Please” Connor tried.

“Fine” Evan sighed.

“Great” Connor grinned. “Let’s go handsome."

“What?!"

“I said Hansen! Let’s go!"

The two walked out and Evan shook his head. He needed to get his hearing checked. Connor managed to get Evan to a table that alone seated Jared and the pair sat down. Jared looked up and cracked a grin.

“Zoe said she’d come over to our little get together” Jared smiled. “Evan, you excited to have your crush over?"

Connor turned to Evan with wide eyes. Connor didn’t know.

“I had a crush on Zoe in middle school Jared” Evan groaned, Connors face fell slightly. “And I mainly admired the fact that she was confident. Remember when I could barely get a sentence out without a stutter. I liked that Zoe was independent. Now, I’m fine. I don’t like her like that."

“Good” Connor muttered. “If you liked my sister I’d probably smack you across the face."

“Right” Jared laughed. “Anyway, I’ve got to go talk with my friend Michael. He said we could Skype at lunch, so I gotta go. See you later."

Jared walked away and Evan turned to Connor. He looked a little upset, and his face was still pink. He needed that hoodie off.

“Connor” Evan mumbled. “I think it’s too warm with that hoodie on. Your face is pink, you should take it off. I don’t need you dying of heat stroke."

Connor’s eyes widened and his face went a shade darker.

“There it is again” Evan muttered. “Take it off."

Connor nodded and pulled off the hoodie. He tied it around his waist and put his hands in his lap.

“I keep the jacket on for a reason Evan” Connor sighed. “Did you look at my arms when we switched bodies?"

“No” Evan mumbled. “I mainly focused on not making you look like me."

“I’ve gotten low before Hansen” Connor whispered. “Scars aren’t pretty."

Evan blinked for a moment before it sunk in. Connor…shit! He cut himself.

“Connor I had n-no idea that you felt that way” Evan rushed. “I-I I’m so sorry that I didn’t realize it. After yesterday with the p-pills I thought you were just trying to convince me I had no clue it was real I’msosorry!"

“Chill out dude” Connor chuckled. “I’m in a better place now."

“Okay” Evan sighed.

The bell rang to end lunch and Evan stood up. Connor grabbed his messenger bag and walked to class. Evan went to his locker before doing the same.

-+-

You called him handsome you asshole! You could have blown everything to hell! God, he deserves Zoe. This is just embarrassing for you Murphy. Fucking hell! Handsome? Seriously, why didn’t you just go and pull the gay card? Just go “Hey Hansen, I just wanted to tell you that I’m gay as fuck for you and I would love it if you would feel the same way!" Evan is probably isn’t gay as it is. Fuck!

Connor was driving to the 7/11 in town to grab snacks for the get together at Evan’s house. He kept arguing with himself over weather Evan noticed his slip up earlier. Evan even noticed Connor’s blushing, he thought he was hot, in the warm way at least, and wanted him to cool down. Damn, life was hard for a gay emo like Connor

When Connor pulled up to Evan’s house with tons of candy he knocked on the door and Jared answered. He was welcomed in and Jared left to go copy Evan’s notes. Connor walked to the living room and stood in the door. Evan and Zoe were discussing him.

“Connor thinks you’re awesome” Evan smiled.

“He thinks I’m awesome? My brother” Zoe choked out. “How?"

“Well” Evan drawled. “He said, there’s nothing like your smile. Sort of subtle and perfect and real. And he said, you never knew how wonderful that smile could make someone feel. Uh, he knows that when you get bored you scribble stars on the cuffs of your jeans. And he noticed that you still fill out the quizzes that they put in those teen magazines. But he kept it all inside his head. What he saw he left unsaid. And though he wanted to, he couldn’t talk to you. He couldn’t find the way, but would always say. If I could tell her, tell her everything I see. If I could tell her, how she’s everything to me. But we’re a million worlds apart, and I don’t even know how I’d start. If I could tell her."

“Did he say anything else” Zoe asked.

“About you…”

“No, no never mind, it’s not like I care” Zoe laughed.

“No! No, he uh, he just…said so many things, I’m just trying to remember the best ones."

“I can take it from here Hansen” Connor smiled. “I thought that you looked really pretty-or uh, it looked pretty cool when you put indigo streaks in your hair."

“You did” Zoe grinned.

“Yep” Connor nodded. “And I always wondered how you learned to dance like all the rest of the world isn’t there. But I kept it all inside my head. What I saw I left unsaid. If I could tell you, tell you everything I’ve seen. If I could tell you how you’re everything to me. But we’re a million worlds apart. And I don’t know how I would even start, if I could tell you… But what do you do when there’s this great divide?"

“You always seemed so far away” Zoe whispered.

“And what do you do when the distance is too wide?"

“It’s like I didn’t know anything” Zoe chuckled.

“And how do you learn to say I love you” Connor mumbled. “I love you! But we’re a million worlds apart…and I don’t even know where I’d start. If I could tell you."

“You mean it” Zoe smiled.

“Every word” Connor nodded. “I’ve got candy!"

Jared emerged from the kitchen and looked over to Connor. He tossed Jared two Milky Way bars and threw Zoe two Snickers bars. He plopped two bags of gummy bears in front of Evan and pulled out a bag of Starburst for himself.

“Thanks Connor” Evan beamed.

“No problem” Connor replied.

“Jared” Zoe called. “Could you leave the three of us to chat for a moment. It’ll be quick, I promise."

“Okay” Jared nodded.

The boy left the room and Zoe turned on the two friends.

“What the hell was that earlier” Zoe demanded.

“The whole body switch thing” Connor asked. “It was a prank. We got this special effects guy to help us, he’s really good. We wanted to prank you before we planned this get together."

“Okay” Zoe whispered. “You guys were really convincing, please don’t do it again. You made me think you had powers or something like that."

“What” Evan drawled. “Us? No way, it’s physically impossible."

“I know” Zoe chuckled. “I’m sorry."

“It’s okay” Connor sighed. “Kleinman, you can come in now!"

Jared walked back in and plopped down on an arm chair. The other three placed themselves around the room with Zoe taking the other chair and the two powered boys draped on either end of the couch. Evan pulled up Netflix and they started watching The Office from episode one.

-

Connor took Zoe home after watching three episodes and he walked into his room. He opened his messenger bag and pulled out his sketchbook. He felt something leafy in the bag and pulled out a navy blue rose. It was alive. Connor smiled knowing that Evan placed it in the bag. He probably made it super strong so it would live longer and survive the bag. Connor grabbed a cup he made in ceramics and filled it with water from the bathroom. He placed the rose inside and put it on his desk. It made the room look nicer, and made Connor fall for Evan even more.

-+-

Evan woke up the next morning later than normal. He almost had a panic attack but then remembered that it was Saturday. Evan didn’t feel all that great and decide that today would be a lazy day. He got dressed like normal but didn’t bother to go down to eat breakfast. He just lounged in his room and watched nature documentaries.

It was around ten o’clock when he got a text from Connor. Evan pondered ignoring it but he decided that it would be rude.

Connor: Hey Hansen, im gonna go over 2 yr house. That cool?

Evan: Go for it Connor. I don’t care, just walk in. I’m home alone and too lazy to get the door for you.

Connor: k, thanks man c u in 5!

Evan sighed and continued his movie. Why was he like this? Evan didn’t hear the door close when Connor arrived and he didn’t even realize that Connor was in his home until the taller boy took his laptop away from him.

“Connor” Evan groaned.

“What’s wrong” Connor asked. “When I pulled your hands off the computer I sensed that you feel sad."

“I just want to be left alone” Evan muttered.

“Evan” Connor sighed. “You are the most positive person I know. How do you even do it? I just want you to feel better."

“You wanna know my secret” Evan laughed. “I lie to myself Connor. Every morning when I get up, I tell myself that today’s gonna be a good day, but I’m lying!"

“Evan” Connor whispered.

“I mean honestly” Evan cracked. “Life sucks. I’m not sure why I’m here. I-I ruined my mother’s life, I must be some sort of fuck up because my own dad couldn’t stick around! My mom is never home! She doesn’t know the first thing about me!"

“Evan” Connor tried again.

“In all reality” Evan screamed, standing up. “If I just vanished into thin air who would notice? I should have climbed higher."

“What?"

“You ever wonder how I broke my arm?"

“You told me you fell out of a tree."

“I lied” Evan snapped. “I climbed that tree and let go. I thought I could end it all. I thought the pain would be gone. All I got was guilt and a broken arm. I couldn’t even kill myself properly! If I just disappeared no one would fucking care. I’m all alone here! I could kill myself right now, I’ve got the pills, why the fuck not. I would be saving my mom money and her life would be so much easier. I’m just a mistake who doesn’t deserve to be here!"

“Don’t you dare say that Evan” Connor sobbed, tears streaming down his face. “Don’t you fucking dare! You saved my life Evan! I would be dead now if it weren’t for you! I was going to kill myself two days ago but you stopped me! Don’t you dare say that no one cares!"

Connor stood up and faced Evan. Evan felt the blue tulips growing on his arms but he ignored it. He was crying too. He hated himself, why couldn’t he just die? Connor put a hand on Evan’s shoulder and wiped Evan’s tears away, his own face still dripping.

“Because even if all else fails” Connor cried. “I’ll still care Evan. You’re my best friend and I love you."

Before Evan could say anything Connor pressed his lips to Evan’s. Evan stiffened up and blinked. What was happening? Connor pulled away and ran his thumb along the shorter boy’s cheek before walking away, still crying.

“I’ll still love you Evan” Connor whispered, wiping at his own eyes. “I have for years."

Connor walked away and Evan sat down on his bed. He heard the door close this time. Evan waited until he heard Connor’s car drive away before bursting into tears again.

“I’m sorry” Evan mumbled through the tears. “I’m sorry Connor."

-+-

Connor had dried his face by the time he was home. He walked past Cynthia and went into his room. He flopped down on his bed and silently cried. He hated seeing Evan so sad. He wanted to kiss the smaller boy and make it better but he couldn’t.

“Connor” Zoe called. “What happened?"

“Fuck off” Connor moaned.

“No” Zoe stated. “We can’t do this to each other and try to repair our relationship. What happened?"

“I don’t want to talk about it” Connor shuddered.

“We can go into my room and watch Glee while we do each other’s hair and nails like we did when we were younger” Zoe offered.

“I’d like that” Connor smiled, peeling himself off his bed and throwing off his sweatshirt.

The pair walked across the hall to Zoe’s room. Zoe pulled up Glee on her laptop and started playing it while Connor grabbed her nail polish box. Zoe grabbed a hair brush and instructed her brother to sit in front of her. Connor sat on the floor while Zoe sat on the bed. Connor watched the show while Zoe ran the brush through his hair.

“What happened” Zoe repeated.

“Some depressing shit” Connor admitted.

“Like what” Zoe questioned.

“Evan dropped a huge ass bomb on me” Connor sighed.

“Meaning?"

“He broke his arm trying to kill himself” Connor whispered. “He went on about how sad he was and I couldn’t take it. Two days ago I pondered doing the same thing. I wanted to die, but Evan convinced me not to."

“We’re discussing this suicidal part in detail later” Zoe stated. “Why were you crying?"

“Because I’ve had the hugest crush on Evan since sophomore year” Connor muttered. “And seeing the guy who means that much to me that sad made me want to ball my eyes out."

“Oh” Zoe mumbled.

“I’m gay if you couldn’t tell.” Connor added. “Also, I’ve got powers that add to the sadness."

“What” Zoe exclaimed.

“In detail later” Connor said. “Basically, I can sense other’s emotions. I sensed how Evan felt and it broke me. I didn’t know how to make Evan feel better and he was saying how no one cared about him so I kissed him and left."

“Dramatic much” Zoe sighed, braiding Connor’s hair.

“I know” Connor muttered. “What do I do?"

“Give Evan time to have it sink in” Zoe suggested. “Does he know you have powers?"

“Yeah” Connor laughed. “He has powers too."

“What the fuck” Zoe squeaked. “Good god!"

“He has plant powers” Connor explained. “That’s all."

“Whatever” Zoe muttered, tying the end of the braid off. “Your turn asshole, tell me about these powers of yours."

-

Two hours later Zoe knew all there was about Connor and Evan’s powers and they both had amazing hair and nails. Cynthia had seen the pair after they walked down to grab lunch and smiled at her children bonding again. The two ate the vegan lasagna that Cynthia had made and decided to take over the living room and continue watching Glee. Cynthia decided to run to the store to give her kids space.

“Mr. Schuester” Zoe cried. “We only like you in season one because your wife is a bitch!"

“Agreed” Connor nodded.

The pair laughed as it started pouring rain outside and they grabbed blankets to curl up with. Connor had missed this. Zoe seemed to be enjoying the time they were spending together too. A knock at the door had Connor emerging from his blanket and opening the front door. Standing on the porch was a soaked Evan Hansen. Connor felt the smaller boy’s eyes widen as he took in Connors’s appearance.

Connor looked very casual with the fishtail braid, black jeggings, and grey t-shirt. Connor stood awkwardly before he realized that Evan was probably freezing and stepped aside so he could come in.

“Zoe” Connor yelled. “Grab a towel!"

“Alright” Zoe called.

The girl came running in with a towel a minute later and passed it off to Connor. She nodded to Evan before disappearing into the living room again. Connor handed the towel to Evan and their hands brushed when Evan grabbed it. He felt sorry and dazed. Once Evan wasn’t dripping Connor brought Evan into his room.

“Uh, here” Connor mumbled, handing Evan a dry set of clothes. “They might be a bit big, but they’ll do until I get your clothes dry."

“Right” Evan nodded. “Thanks."

The two stood in silence and no one went to move. Connor wanted to say something…or kiss Evan, either one would do.

“Bathroom is through the door right there” Connor said, pointing to the door.

“Okay” Evan nodded. “I’m sorry."

“Why?"

“Because I thought you didn’t care” Evan whispered. “I just…I wasn’t in a good mind set. I wouldn’t have listened to anyone, not just you. I’m sorry Connor."

“Don’t apologize” Connor demanded, closing his bedroom door.

“You said you love me” Evan blurted. “Why?"

“I do” Connor confirmed. “I do love you Evan."

“I didn’t know that I was bisexual” Evan admitted. “I never let myself admit it. I thought I was broken."

“Oh” Connor mumbled. “I can get that, but I’m gay…so there’s a slight difference."

“Fuck, I’m bad at this” Evan muttered. “I uh, I like what you did with your hair."

“Thanks” Connor smiled. “Zoe did it."

“Wow” Evan nodded.

Connor don’t know how it happened but one second he was standing awkwardly at his door and the next he and Evan were passionately making out in the center of his room. Connor was pretty sure that Evan made the first move. Connor didn’t care that he was getting wet from Evan’s soaking hair and clothes, he was kissing Evan. He ran a hand through the smaller boy’s hair and pulled him closer.

“I love you Evan” Connor breathed.

“I love you too” Evan gasped.

Connor’s heart soared and he kissed the boy again. Connor was happy, he had Evan. When the two broke apart Connor grinned at Evan. He had a flower crown on his head and his lips were red.

“Connor” Evan squeaked. “You have antennas!"

“What” Connor roared.

Connor ran into the bathroom, and sure enough, two antennas were sticking out of Connor’s head. At the end he had two glowing bulbs.

“How do I get rid of them” Connor whispered.

“Focus on it” Evan suggested, from the door. “That’s what I do with my tree form."

Connor focused on the antennas not being around and when he looked up again they were gone. Connor looked over to Evan and smiled. He looked adorable with the pink, blue, and purple flowers wove together with ivy on his head.

“Get changed before you get sick” Connor demanded, letting Evan into the bathroom.

As Connor walked out his arm brushed Evan’s arm and he felt his emotion again. He felt better. Connor closed the door and let a smile grow on his face.

“Hey Connor” Evan called. “Do you mind if I just shower?"

“Go for it Evan” Connor replied. “I’ll be downstairs with Zoe."

Connor walked back to the living room and Zoe perked up. She had paused the show and looked to him excitedly.

“Well” Zoe squeaked.

“He calmed down” Connor said slowly. “And he likes me back!"

“Hooray” Zoe cried. “Connor’s got a boyfriend!"

“I don’t know about that” Connor mumbled.

“Don’t deny it” Zoe laughed. “You wanted this."

“I did” Connor grinned. “I really did."

Connor flopped down on the couch and Zoe stepped back. Connor looked up with confusion as Zoe’s expression change to fear.

“You have antennas on your head and your eyes are as big as a cartoon characters” Zoe whispered.

“I swear, this has never happened before today” Connor muttered, changing back to normal. “I think my powers are just developing more."

“Oh boy” Zoe groaned, sitting back down. “Can’t wait to see how Evan reacts to this."

“Right” Connor mumbled. “He might not be happy with what I told you."

“He’ll forgive you” Zoe sighed.

The pair continued their show while Evan showered. He came down wearing Connor’s old clothes, that surprisingly fit him, and he waved to the siblings. He pointed to his wet clothes and looked around the room.

“Right” Connor jumped. “Follow me Evan."

The pair walked to the laundry room and Connor threw in Evan’s clothes. He started the dryer and looked to Evan, he didn’t look completely like himself without the classic khakis and blue shirt. Connor smiled at Evan as the smaller boy looked down, playing with the hem of his shirt.

“What’s wrong Evan” Connor asked.

“Nothing” Evan croaked. “I just…I’m not good at this. What now?"

“Whatever feels right” Connor answered. "One day at a time."

“Oh” Evan squeaked. “Okay."

“Evan?"

“Yeah?"

“Can I kiss you?"

Evan nodded repeatedly and Connor pulled the smaller boy in. Evan went to wrap his arms around Connor’s neck and Connor grinned into the kiss. The two broke apart and Connor smiled at Evan’s repeated flower crown reaction.

“I’m guessing the flower crown thing has to do with your emotions” Connor grinned.

“Happy and content feelings” Evan nodded. “Strong ones at that."

“Don’t wilt them away” Connor whispered. “They look nice."

Evan nodded and the pair left the room. They walked back to Zoe and she noted the flower crown.

“So Evan” Zoe drawled. “Plant powers?"

“Connor” Evan cried.

Chapter Text

 Two hours later Evan had cleared everything up with Zoe, meaning he told her everything Connor left out. When Cynthia came home she seemed shocked to have a guest.

“Cynthia” Connor smiled. “You met Evan a few days ago. He just came over."

“It’s fine honey” Cynthia waved. “Evan, would you like to stay the night”?"

“I’ll have to ask my mom first, but I would love to” Evan nodded.

“Great” Cynthia smiled. “I’ll make pizza for dinner. It’s vegan."

Cynthia left the room to start cooking and the Murphy kids groaned. Evan decided to nod along with them, he had eaten Cynthia’s pancakes before.

Evan: Mom, do you mind if I stay at a friend’s house tonight?

Heidi: Of course honey! Have fun with Jared!

Evan: It’s actually my friend Connor.

Heidi: Oh, it’s still alright. I have class after my shift anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow! Write your letter! “Dear Evan Hansen, today’s gonna be a good day!"

Evan put his phone away and took in the scene. Connor and Zoe were complaining about Cynthia’s cooking, yes, but Evan liked how all three of them were wrapped in blankets. Connor kept a hand near Evan at all times and Evan took the taller boy’s hand in his own. Connor smiled and squeezed Evan’s hand. Zoe smiled at the pair before continuing on with the food rant.

“Also” Zoe muttered. “Connor, we should come out tonight to Mom and Larry."

“What do you mean” Connor asked.

“I’m bisexual” Zoe explained.

“What” Connor cried.

“Calm down” Evan hissed. “I think you should do it."

Connor went to protest but Evan’s phone started ringing. Evan rolled his eyes, Jared.

“Hello” Evan called.

“Hansen” Jared groaned. “Where are you? Your house is locked."

“I’m at the Murphy’s house” Evan answered.

“Dude” Jared cried. “Another hangout without me? I’m coming over."

“No you don’t have to do that” Evan squeaked.

Jared hung up the call and Evan put his phone down. He looked to the Murphy kids and sighed.

“Jared is coming here” Evan muttered.

“Fuck” Connor whispered.

“He’s not staying for dinner” Zoe announced.

“Who isn’t staying for dinner” Cynthia asked, walking back into the room.

“Jared Kleinman” Connor answered.

“He can if he wants” Cynthia protested. “Zoe, let’s make an event of it. Larry won’t be home tonight because of business, invite Alana over too, she can stay the night along with Evan."

“Okay” Zoe sighed. “Mom, I have something to tell you."

“What is it honey” Cynthia smiled.

“I’m bisexual” Zoe stated. “And I’ve been dating Alana for about a week."

“Honey” Cynthia smiled. “That’s great!"

The two embraced and Evan looked to Connor. He mouthed “not yet” and watched the two Murphy girls. Zoe went to invite Alana over and Cynthia went back to making dinner.

“So…that happened” Connor chuckled.

“It’s great that your mom accepts it” Evan smiled. “My mom…I don’t know how she would react, but my dad wouldn’t have been pleased."

“Maybe tonight” Connor mumbled. “After Kleinman leaves."

Evan nodded and had his flower crown wilt away. He didn’t want Jared to see it. Connor smiled at Evan and pulled him into a quick kiss before standing up.

“I’ve got a way to get me on your mom’s good side” Evan grinned.

“Let us see” Connor laughed.

Evan stood up and walked to the kitchen. Cynthia was putting the pizza in the oven and smiled to the boys. Evan put his hands behind his back and grew a bunch of lilacs with long stems.

“I actually have something to give you Mrs. Murphy” Evan smiled.

“Really” Cynthia gasped.

Evan held out the flowers and Cynthia beamed. She instantly ran to grab a vase and filled it with water. She took the lilacs and placed them in the vase before putting the flowers on the table.

“They look lovely Evan” Cynthia cooed. “Thank you dear. And please, call me Cynthia."

Someone knocked on the door and Connor went to answer. Jared came through the door and took off his jacket. Cynthia came into the room and Jared waved.

“Hi Mrs. Murphy” Jared called. “I just came by to see how Evan was holding up."

“I can handle myself fine” Evan drawled.

“It’s nice to meet you Jared” Cynthia smiled. “Please, call me Cynthia. Would you like to stay for dinner? Zoe is having a friend over as well, so you wouldn’t be intruding."

“If you don’t mind” Jared nodded.

Cynthia went back to the kitchen and the three boys walked into the living room. They started watching The Office again until Alana came by. The rain had let up by then and despite the dark clouds, everyone was happy.

“Kids” Cynthia called. “Dinner!"

The five walked into the kitchen and everyone grabbed a plate of pizza before sitting down. Cynthia sat at the head of the table, Jared was next to her, then Alana. At the other end of the table across from Cynthia was Zoe, then Connor, then Evan. The six dug into their food and it surprisingly tasted good.

“You sure this is vegan Mom” Connor asked.

“I decided to take a break from vegan for now” Cynthia laughed. “It’s just homemade."

The five kids nodded and continued eating. Connor put a hand on Evan’s thigh and Evan smiled. He could get used to this. Everyone was told how Alana and Zoe started dating and Jared shook his head.

“Next thing you know I’m going to be a fifth wheel” Jared chuckled. “Or maybe a seventh wheel, I don’t even know."

“You already are” Connor whispered so only Evan could hear.

“What was that” Jared asked.

“Nothing” Connor said.

“Come on Murphy” Jared poked. “What did you say?"

“Fine” Connor sighed. “I might as well get this off my chest."

“Are you okay honey” Cynthia questioned.

“I’m alright” Connor answered, standing up. “And Jared…I’M GAY AS FUCK FOR EVAN HANSEN!"

Evan buried his head in his hands as Jared’s jaw dropped. Cynthia looked over to her son and he nodded to her. Connor sat down as Evan sat up again.

“I’m glad you told me honey” Cynthia smiled.

“Are you okay Evan” Jared grinned.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I feel the same way…so…we’re good."

“Not only are my friends dating” Jared muttered. “They’re dating each other."

“You’ll learn to live with it” Alana joked.

The rest of dinner passed by much easier. Jared left after helping Cynthia clean up and waved to the other four teens as he drove away. Cynthia turned in early and the two couples split off. Evan and Connor started watching mindless Netflix together as the sun set behind the house.

-+-

Connor had been talking with Evan for hours as the night droned on. Evan was curled up next to Connor as he slowly dozed off.

“You tired” Connor asked.

“A bit” Evan mumbled.

“You can go to sleep Evan” Connor whispered.

“I’ll move to the floor” Evan yawned.

“No” Connor protested. “You’ll stay up here. I’ll be back in a bit."

Connor watched Evan crawl under the blankets before leaving the room. He pulled out the braid that Zoe had done earlier and walked into the kitchen. He went to walk to the fridge but Cynthia was up and waiting for him.

“You care about Evan a lot” Cynthia asked.

“Yeah” Connor nodded. “I do."

“I’m glad he makes you happy honey” Cynthia smiled.

“Thanks Mom” Connor sighed, pulling her into a hug.

Connor hadn’t touched his mother in years. He just stopped caring. Connor felt time slow down and watched the scene of Connor screaming about his love for Evan play before his eyes again and he squeezed his mother harder. She still cared about him.

“I’m sorry” Connor sobbed. “I’m sorry I left you out of my life. I’m sorry I screwed up. I’m sorry I yelled at you. Mom, I’m sorry for being broken."

“Honey” Cynthia gasped. “What do you mean broken?"

“I wanted to kill myself” Connor cried. “I wanted to die. Evan stopped me, he saved me. I would have thrown all of this away, I can’t believe I was that stupid. I’m sorry Mom."

“Honey” Cynthia whispered. “It’s okay, I’m right here. I’ll get you help, therapy. Whatever you need, Larry won’t take it away this time."

“But he will” Connor protested. “He’ll say it’s a waste of money and time. He’ll get rid of it before it works, like last time."

“I won’t let him” Cynthia stated. “You are going to get help, I won’t let him stop me. If push comes to shove, he’ll leave the picture."

“Mom” Connor gasped. “What?"

“I haven’t loved your father for years” Cynthia admitted. “He’s pulling us all down. I planned on getting divorce papers by the end of the month. The house is in my name and I’ve opened a separate account for us. You, me, and Zoe. I’ve got everything planned, Larry won’t pull us apart anymore. He’ll have his money, I’ll have mine. Everything will be okay."

“Oh my god” Connor chuckled. “You’re leaving him?"

“Soon honey” Cynthia nodded. “And I have a great job lined up that pays handsomely, so the only change would be the lack of Larry. You would get to see him whenever you want of course."

“Screw that” Connor grinned. “Mom, I have something else you should know. I’m not normal, I’m really different."

“You are going to finally tell me what has been going on with your eyes for years” Cynthia laughed.

“You noticed?"

“I’m your mother Connor” Cynthia sighed. “It’s my job."

Connor smiled at his mother and closed his eyes. He let the antennas come back and felt his eyes grow. Connor opened his eyes and sighed.

“Mom” Connor whispered. “I’ve had powers since I was five."

-

At two o’clock in the morning Connor finally came back to his room. Connor explained both him and Evan’s powers and Cynthia seemed to understand. If that was possible. Evan was out like a light on Connor’s bed. Connor took off his hoodie and jeans before climbing over Evan and getting under the covers on the other side of the bed. Evan rolled closer to Connor and he smiled.

Connor felt Evan wrap his arms around the taller boy’s torso and Conner pulled Evan closer. He pressed a kiss into Evan’s hair and closed his eyes. It was a good night.

“Love you Evan” Connor whispered.

“Love you too Con” Evan mumbled.

-

Connor woke up the next morning with Evan still out. Connor sat for a good five minutes, enjoying the closeness between the two before getting up. Connor felt tired. He quickly dressed in black jeans and a red t-shirt before grabbing a dark blue hoodie and opening his window. Connor started crawling out to the roof of the garage. The teen pulled out a joint and sat on the roof smoking.

“Connor” Evan called, poking his head out the window.

“Shit” Connor jumped. “Did I wake you up?"

“No” Evan smiled. “Can I join you?"

“Come on out Evangreen” Connor smiled.

Evan scurried out and sat next to Connor. He had dressed in his now dry clothes and he looked really happy. Evan leaned his head on Connor’s shoulder as the taller boy took a drag.

“Am I Evangreen now” Evan asked.

“Yep” Connor chuckled.

“Are you going to get high” Evan whispered.

“This is weak Evan” Connor explained. “It would take more than this to get me high. I’m just thinking."

“It smells gross."

“I know” Connor sighed.

“Are you going to get better about it” Evan mumbled. “I don’t like that you are smoking drugs. It fucks up your lungs."

“Did you just day ‘smoking drugs’? Oh my god Evan” Connor laughed. “You are too innocent for this world. But yeah, I’ll try to get better."

“Okay” Evan nodded.

Connor stomped out the joint and the pair crawled back through the window. Evan had made Connor’s bed and cleaned up the floor. The two walked downstairs and grabbed coffee from the pot before sitting down at the breakfast bar. Zoe came down a moment later and joined them.

“Where’s Alana” Connor asked.

“She had work today” Zoe sighed. “She left about half an hour ago."

“Morning kids” Cynthia called. “Who’s up for going out to eat?"

“Yes” the Murphy kids cried.

“If you don’t mind me joining” Evan mumbled.

“Of course not Evan” Cynthia grinned. “Five minutes then we leave!"

The three teens finished their coffee and piled into Cynthia’s car. Zoe called shotgun and the boys sat in the back. Cynthia started driving to a diner in town.

“Hey Evan” Connor smiled. “I told my mom about our ‘gifts’, she deserved to know."

“Your secret is safe with me Evan” Cynthia assured. “I won’t let anything happen."

“Oh” Evan gaped. “Thanks."

The group pulled up to a diner that Zoe suggested and the five walked in. Surprisingly, Alana worked at said diner.

“Hey Murphy family” Alana greeted. “Evan, I’ll get you guys seated."

Alana lead the group to a booth in the back and the four split into pairs. Evan and Connor on one end, Zoe and Cynthia on the other. Connor looked over to Evan as he searched the menu and smiled. He could get used to this.

Chapter Text

September went by quickly for Evan and soon it was Halloween. In the past month Cynthia and Larry Murphy were divorced, Larry moved into an apartment close to where he worked, Cynthia changed her last name back to Anderson and all was well for the Murphy/Anderson family.

Connor had dropped his smoking habits by a ton and only smoked when he was very stressed. Since he had told his mom about his powers he started leaving his antennas out unless a guest was over that wasn’t Evan. Connor managed to not make his eyes look creepy and doll like anymore. And, thankfully, he kept them normal for humanities sake.

Evan and Connor had decided not to hide their relationship at school and after a week they made it official that they were dating by sitting down with Heidi and having Evan come out to her as bisexual. It was a difficult thing for Evan to say, but he felt better once it was out in the open.

On the week of Halloween Zoe had demanded that they threw a Halloween party at the Murphy/Anderson household. Alana went to planning and Zoe invited the guests. It was going to be a small party, just the Furious Five (as Jared liked to call the group of friends) and Jared’s new friends Jeremy and Michael, along with Cynthia and Heidi.

“Hey Evangreen” Connor greeted on Halloween after  school. “Did you get the bio-chem. notes?"

“Yeah” Evan smiled, handing his boyfriend his notebook. “I’ll walk to your place for the party."

“Okay” Connor nodded. “Do you want a ride home?"

“I can walk today” Evan mumbled. “I’ll get to see you in a few hours anyway."

“GAY” Jared called, walking up to the pair. “Seriously, could you be any more gay?"

“Yes, yes I could” Connor smirked.

Connor proved himself by dipping Evan into a kiss. Evan felt his blush grow as he wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck for balance. Connor pulled Evan back up and smirked at Jared again.

“God, I can’t wait for boyf riends to get here” Jared muttered. “They don’t act all couple like around me."

“I can’t wait to meet them” Evan smiled.

The bell rang and Evan closed his locker. He walked with Connor until Connor got into his car. He waved to Evan as he drove off and Evan started the walk home. He was stopped half way by a car honking at him. He jumped as Heidi pulled over.

“Come on honey” Heidi called. “I just got off work, let’s get ready for the party!"

Evan grinned and hopped into his mom’s car. The two Hansen’s drove quickly and they pulled up to their home. Heidi went to go get ready and Evan walked into the backyard. He picked at his left arm, a bad habit of his now that his cast was off. With the help of some tree powers, Evan broke off his left arm once the cast was off and re-grew it so the skin color matched. Connor instantly asked him why he didn’t just re-grow his arm when it broke and Evan face palmed.

Evan walked over to the oak tree in the yard and lifted his hand to it. He turned into his tree form and kept  it as he walked away. Then Evan remembered that it would blow his cover and changed back to normal. Evan went into his room and found his Lorax costume that he had bought earlier in the week. The whole point was not for the others to find out but Evan liked his choice. He pulled on the orange shirt and pants before growing a huge yellow moss mustache. (Yes, Evan can do that, he’s tree boi) Evan checked himself over before coming back downstairs. Heidi was dressed in her scrubs and Evan sighed, his mom was not original AT ALL!

“Ready to go” Heidi asked.

“Yeah” Evan smiled.

The two got into Heidi’s car and started the drive to Connor’s. Evan and Heidi hadn’t spoken much since Evan came out, but they had more smiles.

“Can I tell you something” Heidi mumbled.

“What” Evan questioned.

“That day that you told me that you were dating Connor” Heidi laughed. “The moment I saw him I instantly thought of two situations. Situation one, this boy sold my son drugs. Situation two, my son is gay and this is his boyfriend."

“I told Connor not to wear the stoner hoodie” Evan muttered. “He looks scary in black."

“You know that I love Connor, right” Heidi asked. “I’ve never seen you this happy, and he clearly had it rough for a while. He’s welcome at our house any time, I don’t want you to lose him."

“Thanks Mom” Evan smiled.

The two pulled up to the Murphy/Anderson home and walked to the front door. Zoe almost instantly pulled the door open and dragged Evan inside. Heidi walked off to find Cynthia and let Evan go ahead.

“You have to see Connor’s costume” Zoe squeaked. “I picked it out for him, just so you know."

“Okay Zoe” Evan nodded. “I like your Bob Ross costume."

“Thanks” Zoe grinned. “Now go! He’s in the kitchen."

 Evan walked into the kitchen and stopped in the doorway. Connor was wearing a dress, his hair was in a loose bun, and he was turned from Evan, clearly snacking on something.

“Con” Evan called.

“Hey Evangreen” Connor chuckled. “Looks like I’m your girlfriend tonight."

“No” Evan mumbled. “You stay you, don’t pull that."

“Okay” Connor sighed, he even had eyeliner on.

Connor pulled Evan in for a kiss and Evan obliged happily. When Evan stepped back he smiled at Connor’s antennas. They had a soft white glow unless Connor was reading an emotion. At the moment, they were magenta, the color that Connor had for love.

“I never got around to asking earlier” Evan drawled, dragging Connor out of the kitchen and back to the party. “How was therapy yesterday."

“I’m getting better at talking to Dr. Sherman” Connor confessed. “It’s just hard to open up to anyone but you."

“I’m glad it’s getting better” Evan smiled.

A knock at the door had Connor running for the candy bowl but when the door opened three teenagers came walking in. Jared was leading the group with his Winter Solider costume. The two boys behind him had matching Player 1 and Player 2 shirts on.

“Evan, Connor” Jared called. “Please allow me to introduce my friends from California. Tall and skinny is Jeremy Heree. Shorter and thicker is Michael Mell."

“Nice to meet you” Evan greeted.

“You too” Jeremy grinned.

“Hey” Connor nodded.

“Hi” Michael said.

“I swear I’ve met you” Connor muttered.

“Business party last Christmas” Michael gasped. “We got stoned in my basement."

“There we go” Connor smiled.

“I thought that was our thing” Jeremy protested.

“We weren’t dating yet” Michael explained. “With you, it was just getting high. Now, Connor, the man can hold his weed."

“I’m actually getting a hell of a lot better” Connor mumbled. “Tree boy doesn’t like it."

“Smoking jacks up your lungs” Evan cried.

“Dude” Michael laughed. “You’ve gotta try these edibles, they get you high without the smoking part."

“Connor” Evan growled.

“One bite” Connor begged.

“A tiny one” Evan caved. “For learning purposes. I’ll leave if you get high."

Connor grinned as Michael handed him a cookie. True to his word, Connor only took one bite of the strange cookie before handing it back.

“It’s a lot colder here then back in California” Jeremy noted.

“Why are you here” Evan asked.

“I met Jared over the summer with Michael” Jeremy explained. “Since we both live near the border, I thought…hey, let’s go visit Jared on Halloween. Thus, I’m here."

“So…a hundered miles makes that big of  a difference in weather” Evan asked.

“You’d be surprised Evan” Jeremy chuckled. “I better go grab hold of Michael before he gets stoned."

Jeremy walked off to find his player two and Evan went back to Connor. He was sitting on the couch, watching old Halloween movies with Zoe and Alana. Heidi and Cynthia were talking in the corner while watching the kids.

“You gonna wilt that moss” Connor whispered.

Evan froze, he had forgotten about the moss. Evan wilted the moss and looked back to Connor. The taller boy chuckled and pulled Evan closer.

“Are you still doing drugs” Evan asked.

“I only smoke when I’m stressed Ev” Connor assured. “I’ve been practically clean for almost two months."

“Good” Evan smiled. “It’s better for your health."

“I know” Connor nodded.

“Can we go upstairs” Evan mumbled.

“Sure” Connor laughed. “Why?"

“I just want to try something” Evan grinned, trying to look not mischievous.

-+-

Connor took back everything he ever said about Evan Hansen. That boy was not an innocent little bean. Evan Hansen was a seducing little shit. He dragged Connor upstairs just to fuck with him. Literally! Connor doesn’t know how he ended up where he was, but it happened. At the current moment, he was fucking the fuck out of Evan. Sure, Connor was enjoying himself, but he thought Evan was completely innocent to anything about sex. A innocent boy with virgin eyes, hell to the fucking no!

“Connor” Evan gasped. “I’m close."

“Me too Ev” Connor mustered. “I’m never letting this go, you little shit."

Evan just made a happy noise and Connor went faster. Connor didn’t know what Evan did to him, but Connor wasn’t sure what to think at the moment. Evan released without warning and Connor knew that he was whipped.

“I love you” Connor whispered as he released.

“Love you too” Evan mumbled.

The two sat in silence for a minute before Connor pulled out and walked, more like stumbled, into the bathroom. He grabbed a rag and got it wet before coming back into his room to clean him and Evan up. Evan started to blush as Connor wiped the rag over him and Connor smirked at the smaller boy.

“You can’t be blushing when you seduced me to this situation Evan” Connor chuckled.

“Sorry” Evan sighed.

“No apologizing Ev” Connor warned. “When we first started dating you apologized when you would kiss me without warning, not cool."

“I didn’t know what I was doing” Evan explained. “I thought I was messing up."

“Nope” Connor smiled. “You’ve got me wrapped around your finger. I kissed you back every time, didn’t I?"

“Yeah” Evan nodded.

“How does it feel to be de-flowered” Connor asked.

“You think you took my virginity” Evan laughed. “Con, you don’t even know."

“What” Connor blanked. “Who the fuck did you sleep with."

“It’s kinda embarrassing” Evan mumbled. “But it was Alana."

“Alana’s lesbian” Connor stared. “Why would she sleep with you?"

“I don’t even know” Evan choked out. “It’s sad on my end though. After we finished…she instantly got dressed looked over to me and said: ‘Thank you Evan, this now proves my theory that I am lesbian, have a good day’. She left it at that. I turned Alana Beck lesbian, do you realize how embarrassing that is?"

“I’m so sorry Evangreen” Connor laughed. “But that is the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. I’m guessing you never mention it?"

“Nope” Evan nodded. “Now, let me get dressed, I feel exposed."

Connor chuckled again and left to wash out the rag. When Connor came back he pulled on his shirt and his boxers and climbed back into bed with Evan. He had already dressed and was practically asleep. He had folded up both boy’s clothes and Connor smiled at his boyfriend. Evan snuggled closer and Connor wrapped his arms around Evan.

“Love you Ev” Connor mumbled.

“Love you too Con” Evan yawned.

-+-

Evan felt someone shaking his shoulder and he rolled away from it. He felt his nose bump into Connor and Evan opened his eyes. It was too late (early?) for this.

“Evan” Heidi whispered.

Evan froze for a moment before turning back to face his mother. Evan had slept over at Connor’s a few times since they started dating, but Evan felt guilty to be seen in bed with Connor, not because it was Connor, because it’s his mom who saw him.

“Are we leaving” Evan yawned.

“No, no” Heidi mumbled. “I’m going home, I talked to Cynthia and she said that you could stay over tonight. Just, make sure you go to school tomorrow, I know you were up later because of the party, but I need you to keep going for good grades Ev. That means no skipping school."

“I’ll still go to school” Evan nodded. “I’ll see you soon Mom."

“Maybe tomorrow if I don’t have to cover for Jan” Heidi chuckled. “Love you honey."

“Love you too Mom” Evan sighed.

Heidi walked out of the room and shut the door. Evan turned back to Connor and snuggled back up to him. Connor would never admit it, but he loved cuddles. He was a huge softie under the “school shooter complex." Evan closed his eyes and fell back asleep.

-+-

Connor woke up to an annoying alarm. He didn’t have an actual alarm, he played AC/DC as his alarm. Connor opened his eyes to see Evan reaching for his phone. What was Evan still doing here? Once the horrid alarm was off Evan turned and jumped back at seeing Connor staring at him.

“Morning” Connor laughed.

“Hi” Evan whispered. “My mom said I could stay, so I’m here."

“Okay Ev” Connor mumbled. “Wanna stay home?"

“I promised my mom I would go to school” Evan sighed. “So let’s go."

Evan jumped out of bed and walked over to Connor’s closet. The two agreed to keep a spare set of Evan’s clothes at Connor’s house for situations like these. Evan changed in the bathroom and frowned when Connor still wasn’t standing.

“I’m staying” Connor protested.

Evan crossed his arms and gave Connor an if I’m going you’re going too look. Evan uncrossed his arms and pulled Connor out of bed. Connor just pulled his blankets down with him and rolled under the bed.

“Get me now fucker” Connor joked.

Connor heard Evan sigh and thought he walked away. Connor was about to count his win when Connor felt something wrap around his ankles and pull him out from under his bed. Connor was suddenly hanging in the air by Evan’s tree arms. Connor forgot that he could do that.

“School” Evan stated.

“What are you” Connor muttered, feeling the blood rush to his head. “My wife?"

“Most likely not” Evan sighed, lifting Connor’s face to meet his, Connor did not like being that high off the ground. “Since you’re gay, and I’m male. I’m most likely your boyfriend who gives a shit about you."

Evan ended his sentence sweetly and kissed Connor’s nose before dropping him on the bed and shrinking his arms back to normal. Evan started for the door and turned back to Connor.

“I expect you down for breakfast in five minutes” Evan stated. “Love you Con!"

Evan walked out the door and closed it behind him. Connor sat back and smiled to himself.

“Love you to Evangreen” Connor whispered.

Chapter Text

The day had gone badly for Evan. It was cold and rainy for starters. He had school, and despite it being the day before Thanksgiving break, Evan didn’t want to go. Heidi was working early, so Evan was alone that morning, again. Evan grabbed a blue hoodie that Connor had made him buy and threw it on over his sky blue polo shirt. Evan decided not to eat breakfast that morning, because the universe just wanted him to have a shitty day. After gathering his things for school Evan was about to text Jared to ask for a ride to school when he remembered that Jared had a dentist appointment that morning and couldn’t drive him. Evan decided to call Connor instead but no answer. So, Evan tried texting again.

Evan: Connor, can you drive me to school?

(Five minutes later)

Evan: Connor? You there?

(Another five minutes)

Evan: Con, I’m going to assume that you’re busy. Sorry for bothering you, I’ll walk to school. Love you <3

Evan zipped up his hoodie and stepped out into the rain. Evan managed to make it to school on time but it felt horrible. Jared ended up getting out of school for the rest of the day because he got his wisdom teeth out and the Murphy siblings were nowhere to be seen. Evan almost had a panic attack when he had to run the pacer test in gym, god he hated that class. And he was actually hungry for lunch because he didn’t eat breakfast, but lo and behold, Evan didn’t pack a lunch.

Evan started to feel like it was a sign when he got to study hall. He felt like the world wanted him to have a bad day. No one would answer his texts, not even Heidi, and Evan was about to crack. Evan plowed through his homework when he was pushed over the edge.

When Evan opened his locker after the last bell rang and loads of paper fell out. Evan picked them up and flipped through the stack. Each one was some mean message about Evan dating the school shooter. Evan was done. Evan managed to stay composed until he was a block away from home. A car splashed through a puddle and Evan got soaked. Evan scowled at the car as it kept driving and threw up the hood of his jacket.

Evan ran home and went to his room and wrote a letter, better to give context of his decision, right? Evan opened up the engraved box that held his anxiety meds and he ran into Heidi’s bathroom to steal one of her spare razors. Evan didn’t really feel anything. Evan stuffed the newly refilled bottle into his pocket and the razor into another. Evan stepped out of his house and started walking. Evan didn’t know how long he was walking, but he was cold to the bone and soaked by the time he arrived at the old orchard. Evan jumped the fence and went on walking.

Evan scouted around and found what had to be a 30 foot tall oak tree at the least. Evan started climbing until he couldn’t get any higher. He sat back on the branch and looked out over the scene. If he was going to die, he wanted a nice view one last time.

Evan pulled out the pill bottle and the razor. Take the pills then jump, or cut himself then jump? Slit his own throat? No, that was gruesome even for Evan. Evan put the razor back and almost dropped the pills when his phone started ringing. It was Connor.

“Hello” Evan answered, trying not to sound fearful.

“Hey Ev” Connor called. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer you, my phone was getting the screen fixed. Where are you?"

“In a tree” Evan stated coldly.

“Evan” Connor deadpanned. “Where are you."

“I’m in a tree” Evan whispered. “Connor, I’m sorry."

“Fucking hell” Connor muttered. “Evan, hang on. I need you to tell me where you are."

“An orchard outside of town” Evan mumbled.

“It’s 9:30 at night and you decided to go to an orchard” Connor groaned. “I’m coming Ev, don’t move from that branch."

“I’ll hang up now” Evan whispered.

“No” Connor cried out. “Keep talking to me Ev. Why are you in that tree?"

Evan could hear Connor trying to talk to someone quietly. He heard a car door slam and Evan could sense the worry in Connor’s voice, he should just jump already.

“Evan” Connor called. “I’ve got you on speaker phone. Zoe’s driving me, why are you in a tree?"

“Thought I could end it” Evan explained. “I climbed higher. I brought pills for if the fall didn’t work. The view is nice, despite the rain."

“Evan” Zoe interrupted. “Did you take the pills?"

“No” Evan answered. “Not yet."

“Evan” Connor whispered. “Why?"

Evan didn’t answer. He just mumbled something about not wanting to talk about it and sat in silence.

“Can we go any fucking faster” Connor snapped.

“I’m not getting a ticket right now and risking it taking longer” Zoe replied. “We’re a minute away."

Evan heard Zoe turn off the car through the phone. Why were they trying to help him? Zoe was clearly holding the phone as Connor climbed the fence. She tossed the phone over to Connor before following.

“Where’d you learn to jump a fence” Connor asked.

“Does it really matter” Zoe muttered. “I can’t see anything, it’s dark."

“I’ve got this” Connor stated.

Evan saw a faint white light from near the entrance of the orchard and had a feeling that it was Connor. He shouldn’t have wasted his time. Evan wasn’t worth it.

“Evan” Connor called. “I want you to grow an orange and drop it from the tree. I’ll see it on the ground and come get you."

“I can see the light” Evan mumbled. “Go north."

Evan watched the light come closer as he dropped an orange from his hand. The light was getting even closer as the orange hit the ground.

“I heard it” Zoe gasped.

Evan saw the light pick up speed as the siblings got to the tree. The light was at the base when  it faded a bit.

“Is it this big oak” Connor asked.

“Yeah” Evan sighed.

“I’m climbing up” Connor announced. “Zoe, keep taking to Evan."

Sure enough, the light started growing again, but it was moving up. Evan could hear the branches shaking as Connor got closer. Evan ignored Zoe as she tried to make conversation. Connor was on the branch below Evan when Evan hung up on her.

“Ev” Connor called, antennas glowing. “Are you okay?"

“You shouldn’t be here” Evan whispered. “You’ve got to get home. It’s cold and rainy as it is."

“It doesn’t matter if it’s raining” Connor stated. “You need to come down."

“I don’t want to” Evan cried. “I came up here for a reason!"

“You are so stubborn” Connor muttered.

Evan watched Connor climb up to Evan’s branch. Evan scooted over so Connor was next to the base of the tree. Connor grabbed Evan’s hand and his antennas turned deep blue, sadness.

“I’m sorry” Evan whispered.

Connor was going to reply but a cracking sound interrupted him. Evan felt the branch give away and the two both stared at each other. Evan quickly managed to get a vine around Connor’s ankle and the next branch as gravity took its hold on Evan. Connor only fell to the branch below as the vine caught him, and Evan crashed to the ground. He heard Zoe scream, then everything went black.

-+-

Connor rushed to untie his ankle and thanked his weirdly enhanced agility as he climbed down. Zoe was kneeling over Evan, he was lying on his back, eyes closed. Connor ran over and pushed Zoe aside. Connor placed his hand on Evan’s forehead and sighed when he could sense the emotion, pain.

“Wake up” Connor whispered, eyes flashing orange.

Evan’s eyes popped open and he groaned in pain. Connor held his hand as he tried to calm down.

“I think I broke my spine” Evan whispered. “I’m not kidding, it hurts."

“Zoe, grab the branch” Connor instructed.

Zoe drug the branch over and Connor placed Evan’s hand on it. Evan got the picture and changed into a tree. Connor watched as Evan went to repairing his back and changed back to normal.

“He can just fix himself” Zoe mumbled.

“Only as a tree” Evan moaned. “And it still hurts. Unless I break off my arm, that doesn’t hurt."

Connor picked Evan up off the ground and started carrying him back to the car. Zoe went over the fence first and started up the car. Evan grew out his arms and carried himself over. Evan went to start walking, but Connor scooped him up again and started walking. Connor sat Evan in the front seat and climbed into the back.

Zoe silently started the drive and kept to herself. Connor was mad, but not at Evan. Well…he was slightly mad at Evan. Connor just sighed and put his antennas away, it always felt weird when they went back inside his head.

“Where are we going” Zoe asked.

“Evan’s house” Connor answered, daring Evan to say anything different.

Zoe nodded and the silence continued. When she pulled up to Evan’s house Connor got out with Evan. Evan pushed Connor off and started walking inside. Zoe turned to him, she looked fearful.

“I’m staying the night” Connor sighed. “If Mom asks, tell her that Evan got hurt, if she asks anything else…make something up."

“Okay” Zoe mumbled. “Night."

“Night Zoe” Connor nodded.

Zoe drove away and Connor walked up to the door. He walked in and stopped dead when he saw Heidi standing in the doorway. Evan was frozen too.

“Evan” Heidi muttered. “It’s ten o’clock at night, where were you."

The scratches along Evan’s arms and face along with the muddy clothes didn’t help his case. Connor stood back a bit and watched.

“I was climbing a tree” Evan said. “I lost track of time, Connor drove me home."

“Ya know what Evan” Heidi scowled. “You were always horrible at lying, so I’ll ask again. Where. Were. You? Maybe Connor should tell me if you can’t?"

“Evan wanted to kill himself Ms. Hansen” Connor answered. “Me and Zoe managed to get him before it happened."

“What” Heidi cried. “Evan, why?"

“I don’t want to talk about it” Evan snapped, he never sounded angry. “I already tried once, it didn’t work."

Evan stormed to the kitchen and the two others followed. Connor reached out to comfort Evan but he flinched away.

“I even wrote a note” Evan whispered, pulling the note out of his pocket.

Connor also watched Evan pull out a bottle of pills and a razor, setting them down on the counter.

“Ev” Connor whispered.

“I never meant to make it such a mess” Evan read. “I never thought it would go this far. So I just stand here sorry, searching for something to say…something to say. Words fail, words fail. There’s nothing I can say."

“Evan” Connor gasped.

“I guess I thought I could be part of this” Evan continued, looking to Connor. “I’ve never had this kind of thing before. I never had that perfect guy who somehow could see the good part of me. I never had a dad who stuck it up…no corny jokes or baseball gloves. No mom who just was there, cause mom was all that she had to be!"

“Honey” Heidi sighed.

“That’s not a worthy explanation” Evan chuckled. “I know that there’s none. Nothing can make sense of all these things I’ve done. Words fail, words fail! There’s nothing can say, except sometimes you see everything you wanted. And sometimes, you see everything you wish you had and it’s right there, right there, right there in front of you. And you want to believe it’s true…so you make it true. And you think, that maybe…everybody wants it, and needs it. A little bit…too."

“Please” Connor begged. “Stop."

“This was just a sad invention” Evan sobbed. “It wasn’t real, I know…but we were happy. I guess I couldn’t let that go. I guess I couldn’t give that up. I guess I wanted to believe, cause if I just believe, then I don’t have to see what’s really there. No I’d rather pretend that I’m something better than these broken parts. Pretend I’m something other than this mess that I am. Cause then I don’t have to look at it, and no one gets to look at it. No, no one can really see!"

Connor watched as Evan picked a twig from his hair. He held the twig between his fingers and slowly started to change into a tree again.

“Cause I’ve learned to slam on the breaks” Evan continued, discarding the note. “Before I even turn the key. Before I make the mistake, before I lead with the worst of me. I never let them see the worst of me!"

Evan had fully changed into a tree and Heidi stepped back. She never did know about his powers.

“Cause what if everyone saw” Evan whispered, changing back. “What if everyone knew? Would they like what they saw? Or would they hate it too? Will I just keep on running away from what’s true? All I ever do is run. So how do I step in, step into the sun? Step into the sun."

“Evan” Heidi cried. “How did you-? How long-? What did you-? Evan?"

“I’ve had powers since I was five” Evan stated. “My weird obsession with trees came for a reason."

“And you don’t tell your own mother” Heidi laughed hysterically. “I can’t do this. I’m going to work!"

Heidi grabbed her bag and ran out the door. Connor heard her car start and sure enough, Heidi drove away. Connor turned back to Evan as he ran up the stairs. He closed his bedroom door and Connor heard the shower start in Evan’s bathroom. Connor grabbed an ice pack and placed it in Evan’s room before locking up the house. He turned off all the lights except the kitchen light, just in case Heidi came back. Connor sat down on the couch and waited.

In a few minutes the shower turned off and Connor could hear Evan climb into bed. Connor gave it five minutes before going up to see Evan. He was tossing and turning in bed, clearly having troubles sleeping. Connor placed a hand to Evan’s forehead and the shaking died down a bit.

“Sleep” Connor whispered.

Thus, Evan fell asleep. Connor took the liberty to clean up Evan’s house. He organized the bookshelf in Evan’s room before moving downstairs to clean the lower floor. Connor took time to look at the photos on the TV stand in the living room. The teen chuckled at pictures of Evan in a Wolverine costume. But Connor moved on to cleaning up the house before going back to Evan’s room and putting his meds back in the box. Connor sat down on the foot of Evan’s bed and watched him sleep.

-+-

Evan sat up and winced. His back still hurt, but the ice pack helped. Evan crawled out of bed and walked into the bathroom to pee. Evan recalled what had happened with Connor and Heidi, and Evan frowned. He ruined everything.

Evan washed his hands and walked back out and jumped back. Connor was sitting on his bed. Evan froze and stared at Connor.

“What are you doing here” Evan squeaked, feeling embarrassed with his tree patterned pajamas.

“You’re in no state to be alone and your mom left” Connor mumbled. “So…I’m here."

“You don’t need to be here” Evan protested. “I fucked everything up, you don’t need to stay."

“I’m here because I want to be” Connor stated.

“I’m sorry” Evan whispered.

“Why are you apologizing” Connor asked. “You didn’t do anything."

“I pulled you away from your family” Evan explained. “I made you go out in the rain. Iforcedyouintoarelationshipwithmeandthoughtyouwerehappy."

“I was happy” Connor snorted. “I still am. Evan, one bad day doesn’t mean that I’m breaking up with you. Jesus, yeah…I’m pissed with you. But not because you were going to jump out of a tree Evan. I’m pissed because you saved me instead of yourself. You could have not fallen, but you chose to save me instead."

“I can heal” Evan muttered. “You can’t. Besides, you don’t want to date me. I’m clearly a handful."

“Evan” Connor smiled. “I have two hands."

“Don’t try and make this cute!"

“Yeah, I’ll admit that you’re a suicidal idiot asshole” Connor noted. “But you’re my suicidal idiot asshole. And I’m not much better. I was gonna off myself on the first day of school after all."

“But you didn’t go somewhere and were two seconds away from it when you stopped” Evan muttered.

“And why is that Mr. Hansen” Connor smirked. “Is it perhaps because this amazingly adorable tree hugger in front of me has powers, like myself, and I wanted to finally have someone to connect with?"

“I’m still sorry” Evan whispered. “Even if you think I shouldn’t be."

“Alright Evangreen” Connor nodded. “You can keep thinking about that, but it’s three in the morning and I am going to head to bed."

Connor laid down and threw off his hoodie. Evan watched him crawl under Evan’s blankets and followed his lead, but kept a few inches away.

“Ev” Connor murmured. “Cuddle with me you asshole."

Evan snorted and scooted closer. Connor ended up pulling Evan into a hug and kissed his hair.

“Why would I let this all go” Evan whispered.

“Because you have the days where you think the world would be better without you and all common sense is thrown away” Connor answered. “Now go to sleep."

Evan closed his eyes and returned the weirdly comforting hug. The smaller teen buried his head in Connor’s chest and went to sleep.

Sorry, not sorry

Chapter Text

Connor woke before Evan did. He silently slipped out of bed and went down to Evan’s kitchen, the least he could do for his boyfriend is make breakfast. Connor started on making scrambled eggs when he felt someone wrap their arms around his torso.

“Morning” Evan’s voice called, muffled by Connor’s shirt.

“Hey Evan” Connor smiled. “How do you feel?"

“Better than yesterday” Evan replied.

“Good” Connor sighed. “Pack a bag Evan, after breakfast we’re going to my house."

“Why do I need a bag” Evan mumbled, clearly still sleepy.

“Because your mother up and left you alone during a mid life crisis” Connor explained. “You are staying with me until she gets her shit together and comes home."

“Mom is never home” Evan muttered.

“Exactly” Connor cried out. “Now mush! I don’t want to wait for you."

“Yes Mom” Evan groaned.

“I didn’t leave you during a mid life crisis” Connor snorted. “Also, I’ve got a dick, you know I do, and you’ve seen it. It’s been inside you Evan, I’m not your mother."

Evan chuckled as he walked up to his room. Connor finished cooking for the pair as Evan returned dressed and with a duffle bag. Evan sat down next to Connor and started eating.

“I didn’t eat anything yesterday” Evan muttered.

“I can tell” Connor laughed. “Don’t choke."

“I won’t” Evan smiled.

When the couple finished eating Connor washed dishes while Evan watered the house plants. Connor grabbed his hoodie from on top of Evan’s duffle bag and put it on. It was like armor at this point.

“Ready” Connor asked.

“Yep” Evan nodded, grabbing his bag. “Let’s go."

The pair stepped outside and Evan locked the front door. Connor started walking towards his home with Evan on his tail. Surprisingly, half way home Connor ran into Zoe.

“What’s going on” Zoe asked. “I was walking over to check on you."

“Evan’s staying with us for the time being” Connor announced. “I’ll explain it when I can talk to Mom too."

“How do you feel Evan” Zoe asked. “You look a lot better."

“I’m better” Evan agreed. “I’m sorry I scared you."

“Nothing bad happened” Zoe ushered. “Well…except you fell out of a tree, which sucks."

“Yeah” Evan chuckled. “I’ve got this huge bruise where my spine was broken. I’m still a bit sore."

“Just call when you feel like that, okay” Zoe commanded. “Connor and I had doctor appointments yesterday, but before that we dropped off his phone to get the screen fixed, and after the doctor appointments Connor had therapy and the therapist wanted to do group therapy. So we spent some time doing that, then we had to wait for Connor’s phone so we went out to eat and lost track of time. Then Connor got his phone back and we went home, only to leave again to save you."

“Sorry” Evan mumbled. “I tried calling, but Jared got his wisdom teeth removed, Connor didn’t have his phone, Mom was busy, and I don’t have yours or Alana’s number. Alana was on a field trip for AP English."

“I’ll get you our numbers” Zoe smiled.

Evan handed her his phone, which somehow didn’t break despite the fall, and she put in both numbers. Connor just watched the two of them talk. Evan was more comfortable around Zoe and Cynthia now, Connor couldn’t ask for anything else.

The trio walked up the steps of the Murphy/Anderson home and came inside. Cynthia smiled at seeing the three teens but then she noticed Evan’s bag and she got a confused look on her face.

“I’ll explain it to both of you in five” Connor mumbled. “C’mon Evan."

Evan smiled to Cynthia as he followed Connor up the stairs. Evan placed his bag under Connor’s bed and looked up to him.

“I love you Evan” Connor smiled, pulling the smaller boy into a kiss.

“I know you do” Evan squeaked. “And I love you too."

“Let’s get this shit show over with” Connor sighed. “Do you want to tell my mom?"

“Not really” Evan mumbled.

“Can I tell her what happened yesterday” Connor asked.

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “I’m okay with it, just try not to make me sound crazy."

“I’ll do my best” Connor chuckled. “No guarantee though."

“Idiot” Evan laughed, swatting at him playfully.

-+-

Evan was surprised by Cynthia’s reaction. The mother wrapped Evan in a hug the moment Connor finished talking. She went around to saying that Evan was welcome any time and that he could always come to her. Evan was grateful for her hospitality and agreed with her.

Evan still felt broken, but he agreed with Connor to talk to Dr. Sherman about it. The Murphy kids, along with Evan, spent the rest of the time until Evan’s therapy appointment watching Glee, because the siblings love the show.

“I better get walking” Evan mumbled, standing up.

“I’ll drive you” Connor interjected. “Come on Evan."

The pair stood up and walked to Connor’s car. Evan hopped in and Connor started driving. Evan smiled at Connor when the taller boy glanced over.

“Remember the day we switched bodies” Evan sighed.

“Yeah” Connor nodded.

“When you were angry with me about the switch I tried calming you down” Evan recalled.

“Sorry for snapping at you Ev” Connor mumbled.

“When I touched your shoulder I saw something” Evan smiled. “It was the last day of school last year. I dropped my book on the ground, you picked it up and handed it to me, then walked away."

“How depressing does my life have to be for my happiest memory to be me handing you a book” Connor joked.

“Are you sure it’s about happiness” Evan asked. “What if you see treasured memories, not happy memories?"

“I never thought about it like that” Connor chuckled. “That makes sense. My mom, when I told her about our powers. I saw another memory, it was of me yelling at Jared about how I love you. Could that possibly just be another memory that my mom loves?"

“I think it would be safe to assume” Evan nodded. “Cause I know that my happiest memory wasn’t the day I discovered my powers."

“What is it then” Connor questioned.

“I don’t know” Evan sighed. “That’s the fun part."

“You are so sappy” Connor cried. “You need to toughen up Evan."

“How am I not tough” Evan gasped. “I can turn into a tree for goodness sake."

“Stop saying ‘goodness sake’ for starters” Connor laughed. “Try wearing my hoodie, I think of it as armor."

The car pulled up to a stoplight and Connor handed Evan the hoodie. Evan put it on and looked over to Connor.

“Oh yes” Evan nodded. “I can feel the rebellion building up inside me. Soon I’ll start smoking drugs and go emo. I’ll start using my powers to hurt people and skip school. I’ll be the most badass tree on the planet."

“Oh hell no” Connor giggled. “Look out world. Evan Hansen is rearing up for some teenage rebellion."

“Fuck yeah” Evan grinned. “I’ll start fights at school and I’ll grow out my hair so I can be the new school shooter."

“Okay, that’s overboard Ev” Connor protested. “Permission revoked, give me the hoodie."

“No” Evan whined. “I like it."

“Give” Connor demanded. “Now Evangreen."

“But Connor” Evan whispered. “It smells like you."

“Ugg” Connor gagged. “Your innocence is getting to me. You can wear the hoodie for your appointment, but then I’m taking it back. I need that thing to survive."

“Great” Evan cheered as the pair pulled up to the clinic. “Love you Connor."

“Yeah, yeah” Connor yawned. “Love you too Evan. I’ll be back in an hour."

Evan hopped out and waved to Connor as he drove away. Evan was feeling better, and he knew that if he talked about how he was feeling to Dr. Sherman, everything could only get better.

Chapter Text

Heidi Hansen thought that she was a good mother. She dealt with her husband leaving her for a cocktail waitress, she raised her son on her own, and somehow managed a job and school at the same time.

Heidi thought she knew everything about Evan. So finding out her son was extremely depressed and had powers, she had the right to break down. Heidi couldn’t imagine that her son, her baby, would keep that from her.

Heidi didn’t come home until Thanksgiving night. She was working or in class for the past two days. Heidi had a bad habit of running away from her problems. Heidi hadn’t contacted Evan since leaving and assumed that if he wasn’t well that he would call her.

When Heidi walked in the door and flipped on the lights she assumed Evan was in bed. Heidi decided that she could talk to Evan about what happened now. She was calm now. Heidi walked to her son’s room and knocked on the door. No answer. Heidi opened up and gasped at the empty bed. Where did Evan go?

Heidi started to panic. Had she scared him off? What had she done? Heidi pulled out her phone and called Cynthia, maybe he was at Connor’s.

“Hello” Cynthia answered.

“Cynthia” Heidi called. “Evan’s gone. I can’t find him. Is he at your house?"

“Yes Heidi” Cynthia confirmed. “Evan has been at my house since yesterday morning. Connor said that he was in no place to be alone. Evan is completely fine, he and Connor are watching TV in the living room."

“Cynthia, you don’t understand” Heidi whispered. “I need him home. We need to talk."

“I know that Evan has powers Heidi” Cynthia smiled. “I’ve known for a while now."

“He told you and not his own mother” Heidi cried.

“Evan didn’t tell me, Connor did” Cynthia explained. “Connor has powers too."

“I’m a shitty mom” Heidi groaned. “I didn’t even know. I’m coming to get him."

“I don’t think you should do that” Cynthia protested. “He’s hurt. You left him alone when he was about to commit suicide. If Connor hadn’t called, Evan would be dead right now."

“What can I do” Heidi asked. “Everything I’ve ever done, I’ve done it for him."

“All moms try to give their kid the world” Cynthia responded. “Sometimes you give all you can and find that it’s not enough. You’ll feel like you let your kid down, you don’t know what else you can do."

“He’s my boy” Heidi sobbed. “My little guy, I want him to come home."

“I won’t stop you if you come” Cynthia stated. “But, I almost lost Connor once, I didn’t know how to get the anger out of his eye. I think Evan will come home when he is ready. I waited for Connor, I think you can wait for Evan. Try to come up with a good apology, I know that Evan’s been working on one lately. He’s such a good guest and a great kid. You’re lucky to have him."

“Is it a coincident that our sons are dating and they both have abnormal abilities” Heidi mumbled.

“Apparently it’s a Norse legend or something like that” Cynthia chuckled. “The boys and Zoe tried explaining it to me, something about a god or something like that. I don’t remember. I’m just taking it one day at a time. Honestly, it still surprises me when I walk into the kitchen and I’ve got Connor sitting at the table with his antennas showing."

“Those were real” Heidi gasped. “I thought they were part of his costume."

“He only shows them when guests aren’t around” Heidi laughed. “He says that it’s part of his way of coming back to his family. He stayed away from us for so long, always fighting, running out of the house. I think Evan’s been good for him, he’s much more social."

“I honestly haven’t seen much of Evan recently” Heidi sighed. “But, when he decides to come home, call me."

“I will” Cynthia nodded. “I’m glad that you’re going to give him time."

“It won’t be easy” Heidi noted. “By the way, we both know that they slept together, right?"

“Yeah” Cynthia smiled. “I’m not bringing it up to them, Connor’s 18 he can make his own choices."

“Agreed” Heidi stated. “I’m taking Evan out for is 18th. He deserves it."

“Okay” Cynthia nodded. “I’ll call you when he’s ready."

“Thanks Cynth” Heidi sighed. “Bye."

“Bye Heidi” Cynthia called.

Heidi hung up the phone and sighed. An apology? If anyone should apologize it’s Evan’s dad. The man just left the two alone. Maybe she should mention him? Ugg, what did she do?

Heidi decided to sleep on her problem, she hadn’t slept in over 24 hours as it was. God…she would give anything for Evan, she felt so small just sitting there.

+-+

Cynthia put her phone down and looked over at the boys. They were curled up together on the couch and it was quite adorable. Cynthia pulled out the leftovers from lunch to warm up for dinner when she heard a knock at the door. Cynthia went to answer and frowned at the guest. Larry.

“What do you want” Cynthia demanded.

“I want to see my kids” Larry answered.

“Sorry, they’re busy” Cynthia growled.

“Cynthia, just let me see them” Larry muttered.

“No” Cynthia stated. “You are the reason that I didn’t have my son for years. Everything is fine here, just leave."

“Cynthia” Larry sighed.

Cynthia saw Mr. Beck’s car pull up and Zoe hopped out. She went to spend the afternoon with Alana. Zoe walked up the steps and frowned at her father.

“Happy Thanksgiving Zoe” Larry greeted.

“Excuse me Larry” Zoe mumbled.

Zoe slipped past Larry and into the house. Cynthia turned to Larry and sighed. He wasn’t going to give up.

“You saw Zoe” Cynthia noted. “You can go now."

“I want to see Connor too” Larry protested. “Or is he out doing drugs?"

“Connor’s been clean since before you left” Cynthia hissed.

“Mom” Connor called. “What’s going on?"

“Larry came over to visit” Cynthia answered. “He was just leaving."

“Connor” Larry called. “Let me see you."

Cynthia watched Connor pull away from Evan and make his antennas disappear before walk over to the door. Larry frowned at his son, it made Cynthia want to punch him.

“So you say that he’s clean” Larry muttered. “Why hasn’t he cut his hair?"

“I like my hair like this” Connor protested. “Fuck you Larry."

“That’s not how you speak to your father” Larry snapped.

“You don’t have custody over me anymore asshole” Connor spat.

“Okay Connor” Cynthia whispered. “That’s enough."

“Let him finish” Zoe called. “We didn’t get to speak in court. Connor, let him have it."

“Larry” Connor grinned. “You sir, are an asshole father who didn’t care about his kids happiness, and only cared about having a perfect family image. You don’t deserve to speak to my mother because of how you treated her in the past. We are not going to have your presence here anymore Larry, if we want, Zoe and I will visit you. But we don’t want you here interrupting our evening. Please go. Before a lose my patience."

“You’re high” Larry scoffed. “Happy Thanksgiving Cynthia, Zoe, Connor."

Larry turned to leave and he tripped down the stairs. Cynthia turned to Connor who was staring at Evan. A vine was attached to his arm. Cynthia closed the door and smiled at Evan.

“Thank you dear” Cynthia smiled. “Who’s hungry?"

The three kids ran to the kitchen and Cynthia followed behind. Things were looking up for her. Cynthia had her son back, her kids were getting along, and Connor had a wonderful boyfriend that meant the world to him. Cynthia just had a feeling that things would be okay.

Chapter Text

It was Monday again. Connor flinched at Evan’s annoying alarm and sat up. Evan turned off the alarm and turned to Connor. Connor flopped down and covered his head, he didn’t want to go to school.

“Come on Connor” Evan called softly. “We’re going together."

Connor poked his head out from the blanket and gave Evan a look.

“Don’t make me pull you out of bed again” Evan warned.

“Fine” Connor groaned. “I’m up."

“Thank you Con” Evan beamed, pecking him on the cheek.

Connor walked over to his dresser and grabbed a random outfit before locking himself in the bathroom. When he emerged Evan had vanished downstairs. Connor walked over to his desk and looked at the rose that Evan had given him after they first met. It had been wilting after the months but today it was like new again. Connor smiled at the rose before going down to eat.

After getting a job, Cynthia gave up on all her vegan meals and was giving her kids normal meals. Both Murphy kids had secretly celebrated by running out to 7/11 in the middle of the night. Safe to say that Cynthia caught them the next morning with tons of candy wrappers everywhere in Zoe’s room.

“Mom had to go in early today” Zoe explained, when Connor couldn’t find the siblings mother.

“What are we eating” Connor asked.

“PANCAKES” Evan cried.

“Mom left pancakes” Zoe laughed.

“When we switched bodies I was too scared to say they tasted bad” Evan mumbled. “I’m glad she gave up the vegan thing."

“We all are” Connor added.

“I could live off of pancakes” Evan said, mouth full.

“Don’t choke” the siblings warned.

“I know” Evan chuckled.

“Are you going home today” Connor asked, noting Evan’s bag.

“I’ve been gone for a while” Evan sighed. “If nothing changes I’ll come back."

“Okay” Connor nodded.

The three teens conversed throughout breakfast and hurried around the house to get ready. Connor was first to get into his car and waited for the others.

“Get in losers” Connor yelled. “We’re going shopping!"

“We did that yesterday” Evan replied, hopping in.

“Drive” Zoe commanded.

The group drove to school and Evan had to remind Connor to put his antennas away. Once they were at school Zoe ran off to a jazz band meeting and the two powered teens walked to class. Of course Jared stopped them.

“Guys” Jared grinned. “Michael is gonna be here any minute."

“Why is he here” Connor asked.

“He has today off for some reason and said he’d come to visit” Jared explained. “You’ll know when he gets here, he’s got a thing for this."

Connor and Evan went to class to drop off their things before coming back to wait with Jared. Jared wasn’t wrong, Michael had a thing for entrances.

“MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCE” Michael screamed, walking in the door.

Jared ran over and greeted Michael. Connor walked over with Evan and smiled at Michael.

“Hey losers” Michael greeted. “Do I have to sign in? My parents already called."

“Over there” Connor pointed.

“Thanks Connor” Michael smiled.

“Do you have a slushy” Evan asked.

“I can’t go a day without one” Michael answered. “I’ll see you guys later."

Michael and Jared walked off and Connor put an arm around Evan’s shoulder. Evan smiled softly and leaned closer. The couple walked back to class and sat down as the bell rang.

-+-

Evan usually tried to stay out of trouble. Dating Connor Murphy made people whisper about him and made teachers question him. Yeah, Evan didn’t know what to do about them. Most people didn’t outright say anything to his face, but when Connor saw the pile of notes in Evan’s locker he threw a fit. Evan managed to calm him down before they split up for class.

Evan started to freak out when he was called to the theater. Why was he wanted? Did someone want to make a fool of him?

Calm down Hansen. Alana, Jared, and Connor were called down too, this is probably nothing.

Evan walked into the theater and saw around 20 other faces look at him. Connor waved him over and Evan walked to his group of friends.

“This is the worst” Jared muttered.

“What’s wrong” Evan asked.

“We are a special group of students that are being forced to audition for a class that will be starting next semester” Jared groaned. “My mom is the teacher. I didn’t know she got a job here until just now."

“That sucks man” Michael mumbled, he clearly wasn’t listening.

“You’re listening to Bob Marley again, aren’t you” Jared guessed.

“Oh, I’m listening to Marley and the groove is hella gnarly” Michael sang. “And I’m almost at the end of this song. Yeah that was the end, now tell me friends. How was class? Jared, you look like ass, what’s wrong?"

“Attention everyone” Mrs. Kleinman called. “I’m the new band and choir instructor here. My name is Mrs. Kleinman, my son Jared attends here. This group here is going to see how many of you can write original songs. I want you to split into groups of three, and meet with a jazz band student for instructions."

“Guess it’s you three” Michael laughed. “I’m gonna sit and watch, have fun!"

Zoe ran up to the three and pulled them aside.

“Okay, what you do is simple” Zoe grinned. “I show you a few songs that we’ve recorded as a band, you pick one that you like, and make your own lyrics for it. Okay?"

“I-I don’t want to go up there” Evan mumbled. “I’m picked on enough as it is."

“Connor and Jared will be with you” Zoe pushed. “You have to do it anyway. I think I have a good song for you three, just listen."

Zoe played a very upbeat song that Connor almost instantly started tap dancing to. Evan didn’t know he could do that. Jared was bopping along to the music too so Evan eventually joined in.

“You like it” Zoe asked.

“Yeah” Connor grinned.

“Oh yeah” Jared agreed.

“It’s amazing” Evan confirmed.

“That’s great” Zoe squealed. “Mrs. Kleinman, we’ve got a group ready!"

“We haven’t done anything yet” Connor hissed.

“The point is for it to be on the spot” Zoe laughed. “Just try to have fun with it. Dance around, and sing your hearts out."

“Okay” Mrs. Kleinman called. “Our first group is ready. We have Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen, and Jared up first."

The three were pushed onto the stage and handed microphones that were clipped onto each boy’s ear.

“Your prompt” Mrs. Kleinman added. “Is emails, friends, and humor."

That's very vague, what's she getting at?

“Starting music in five” Zoe yelled. “Four, three, two…”

The music started and Evan felt his heart speed up. Connor gave him an assuring look and he tried to calm down. Connor looked like he was going to start, so Evan let him take the lead.

-+-

Connor was about to die. He had to think of something in less than five seconds. Wait, Evan’s letters. How he always started them…

“Dear Evan Hansen, we’ve been way too out of touch” Connor sang. “Things have been crazy and it sucks that we don’t talk that much. But I should tell you that I think of you each night. I rub my nipples and start boning with delight."

“W-Why would you write that” Evan cried, turning to Jared.

“I’m just trying to tell the truth” Jared said, getting the message.

“This n-needs to be perfect” Evan stated. “These emails have to prove that we were actually friends. Just-I’ll do it”."

“I’ve gotta tell you life without ya has been hard” Connor belted out.

“Hard” Jared exclaimed.

“Has been bad."

Bad?"

“Has been rough!"

“Kinky!"

And I miss talking about life and, other stuff."

Very specific."

“Shut up” Evan snapped.

“I like my parents” Connor added.

“Who says that” Jared laughed.

“I love my parents but each day’s another fight. If I stop smoking drugs then everything might be alright."

Smoking drugs?"

“Just fix it” Evan snapped.

“If I stop smoking crack” Connor chuckled.

“Crack” Evan squeaked.

“If I stop smoking pot then everything might be alright. I’ll take your advice, I’ll try to be more ‘nice’. I’ll turn it around, wait and see! Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention! It’s easy to change if you give it your attention! All you’ve gotta do is just believe you can be who you want to be. Sincerely, me!"

“Are we done yet” Jared asked.

“Well” Evan mumbled. “I can’t just give them one email. I wanna show that I was, you know, a good friend."

“Oh my god” Jared groaned.

“Dear Connor Murphy, yes I also miss our talks” Evan sang. “Stop doing drugs, just try to take deep breaths and go on walks."

“No” Jared called.

“I’m sending pictures of the most amazing trees” Evan continued.

“NO!"

“You’ll be obsessed with all my forest expertise."

“Absolutely not!"

Dude I’m proud of you. Just keep pushing through. You’re turning around, I can see!"

“Just wait and see” Connor grinned.

“Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention” the pair sang. “It’s easy to change if you give it your attention! All you’ve gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be! Sincerely, me!"

“My sister’s hot” Connor winked.

“What the hell” Evan squeaked.

“My bad” Jared grinned.

“Dear Evan Hansen, thanks for every note you send” Connor smiled.

“Dear Connor Murphy, I’m just glad to be your friend” Evan laughed.

“Our friendship goes beyond” the two belted out. “Your average kind of bond."

“But not because we’re gay” Evan chuckled.

“Oh yes because we’re gay” Connor protested.

“We’re close, and in that way” the pair sang. “The only man that I don’t love, is my dad."

“Well anyway” Connor drone on.

“You’re getting better every day” Evan smiled.

“I’m getting better every day” Connor nodded, running over to Jared.

“You're."

“Getting."

“Better."

“Every day” the pair cried out.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey” Jared joined in. “Cause all that it takes is a little reinvention! It’s easy to change if you give it your attention! All you’ve gotta do is just believe you can be who you wanna be. Sincerely-”

“Miss you dearly” Evan and Connor whispered.

“Sincerely me” the trio sang.

“Sincerely me” Evan smiled.

“Sincerely me” the trio yelled out. “Sincerely me!"

The three teens looked out to the rest of the class and they broke out in grins. That was crazy. Evan looked about ready to pass out. The audience started clapping and the three bowed. Jared pulled the other two down and Zoe wrapped Connor in a hug.

“Holy shit that was incredible” Zoe squealed. “Like, that was…AMAZING!"

“Indeed” Mrs. Kleinman nodded. “You three are definitely joining the class next semester. But, Jared had no choice."

Evan sat down with Michael on one side of him and Connor on the other. Connor didn’t like that Evan looked so freaked out. Connor grabbed his hand and glared at anyone who stared.

“That was scary” Evan chuckled. “I never want to do that again."

“Just wait a few months Evan” Jared grinned. “We’ll be back."

Connor and the rest of the group watched the other groups go. No one had it as smoothly as Connor’s group did and he laughed when other groups messed up. Once the bell rang Connor walked to the library to Evan and the pair sat down while Evan wrote his letter.

-

Connor was walking to his locker at the end of the day when it started. Evan was minding his own business while grabbing his books he didn’t need, but the three assholes who were trying to beat up Connor on the first day of school started “whispering” shitty stuff about him. Connor could see Evan trying to ignore them and watched Evan close his locker when the first asshole grabbed Evan’s arm.

Oh hell no.

“So faggot” the idiot spat. “Going home to fuck Murphy?"

“P-Please let me go” Evan asked.

The second football player swung his fist at Evan but the smaller boy managed to duck. Evan pulled to get his arm loose but the asshole wouldn’t let go. The third asshole, Connor thought his name was Cooper, kicked Evan in the ribs and Evan went to his knees. Connor ran over and socked the first asshole in the face. The idiot let Evan go and kicked Connor in the leg while falling. The other two grabbed Connor and shoved him into the lockers. Fuck.

Connor watched Evan get up and jump onto Cooper’s back and jab his hand into the other boy’s arm. Something told Connor that Evan jabbed thorns into the asshole’s arm. Cooper swung Evan over his shoulder and slammed him into the ground. Finally someone threw a book at asshole number two, and he whipped around. Zoe was standing there with another book in her hand.

The first idiot, Kyle was his name, stood up and smacked the book out of Zoe’s hand. Connor took the opportunity to grab hold of the asshole that was holding him and make them pass out.

“Sleep” Connor whispered.

The guy fell down and all that was left was a sobbing Cooper, and Kyle. Evan was curled up in a ball on the ground and Kyle kicked him in the ribs again. Evan yelped and curled up even smaller. Connor punched the idiot again and he fell down.

“What is going on here” Mrs. Kleinman demanded.

“They attacked Evan” Zoe cried. “Connor was protecting him."

“Evan, honey, are you okay” Mrs. Kleinman asked.

Evan didn’t answer. Connor ignored the pain in his hand and went over to Evan. Connor saw the huge red spot on Evan’s shirt and swore.

“He’s bleeding” Connor muttered. “I’ll get him to the doctor, Mrs. Kleinman, can you take care of these idiots?"

“Yes I can Connor” Mrs. Kleinman answered. “Kyle was wearing steel toed boots, he might have broken something. Have Zoe drive you Connor, Your fingers look bad."

Connor tossed Zoe his keys and scooped up Evan. Evan whined in protest, but Connor just held him tight and walked to his car. Zoe started driving to the hospital while Connor tried to slow Evan’s bleeding.

“Do you want me to come in” Zoe asked when they arrived.

“No” Connor mumbled. “I’ll take care of him. Just tell Mom where I am, if she comes after that, then I’m fine with it."

Zoe nodded and Connor hopped out of the car, Evan still in his arms. Zoe drove away and Connor walked in the door. Connor spotted Heidi at the front desk and walked over to her.

“Ms. Hansen” Connor called.

Heidi looked up and dropped her pen. She ran over to Connor and looked at Evan.

“What happened” Heidi gasped.

“Some assholes were beating him up” Connor answered. “He fought back, I joined in, Zoe threw a book, lots happened. He’s bleeding."

“Heidi” another nurse called, rolling over a stretcher. “We can get Evan into room 31. Take him to Dr. Erin and let her look at him. I’ll take a look at your fingers young man."

Connor put Evan down on the stretcher and he was rolled away by Heidi. The other nurse brought Connor into a different room and checked out Connor’s hand. He fractured three fingers, but nothing was broken.

“You’re real sweet, getting hurt to help Evan” Nurse Abbey mumbled. “What’s your name honey?"

“Connor Murphy” Connor replied, wincing as Abbey cleaned his knuckles.

“Oh, you’re Evan’s boyfriend” Abbey nodded. “Heidi speaks the world of you both. I’ll be back in a minute with some gauze for your knuckles, and I’ll wrap your hand up."

Abbey left and Connor sat, bouncing his leg. He wanted to see Evan. Abbey returned and wrapped Connor’s hand before having him sign some papers for his insurance and he was set to leave.

“Do you know what way Evan’s room is” Connor asked.

“Down that hallway, last door on the left” Abbey answered. “Thank you for bringing him here honey. And, you might want to take off your hoodie."

 Connor looked down and frowned at his hoodie, it was bloody. Connor nodded and started down the hall. He heard running behind him and turned to see Cynthia and Zoe coming towards him.

“Connor” Cynthia called. “Are you okay?"

“Three fractured fingers” Connor answered, showing his hand. “I’m going to see Evan."

“We’ll all go” Cynthia added.

The family took off down to Evan’s room and knocked. Heidi opened the door and let them in. Zoe closed the door and Connor walked over to Evan.

“He passed out” Heidi mumbled. “He tore deep into his skin, it’ll get stitched up. And he has a broken rib, he’ll be okay after we wrap him up. He’ll be home from school for the rest of the week, and maybe he can come back on Monday."

Cynthia’s phone started buzzing and she pulled it out.

“Hello” Cynthia said. “Yes this is…What…That’s unfair…I understand that…Yes, thank you for calling."

“What happened” Zoe asked.

“Connor is suspended for three days because he was fighting” Cynthia sighed. “Zoe, you’re suspended for one day for throwing the book. But they said that Evan is okay and can come back to school tomorrow."

“He won’t be” Heidi and Connor stated.

Connor walked over to Evan and quickly felt his emotion. Lots of pain, sadness, pride, just mixed feelings all around. Connor had Evan calm down and could feel his eyes turn orange, even with them closed.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Erin” a young doctor greeted. “Heidi, take the night off, you need it. Other friends of Evan, I’m going to ask you to step out while we set Evan’s rib and do his stitches. He’ll leave after that."

“I’ll leave after Evan’s done” Heidi protested. “Thanks for coming Cynth."

“Evan’s bag is in my car” Connor recalled. “Zoe, can you grab it?"

Zoe nodded and ran off. Cynthia walked out the door and beckoned for Connor to follow her.

“Connor can stay Cynth” Heidi stated. “He brought Evan here, he can stay."

Cynthia nodded and closed the door. Connor sat on the opposite side of the doctor and took Evan’s hand. Connor didn’t watch the stitching, he couldn’t do that. When they set the bone Connor squeezed Evan’s hand as he squirmed. Connor watched Heidi give Evan a shot of sorts and gave her a confused look.

“It’s a muscle relaxer” Heidi explained. “He’s tense. He’s not drugged. It’s like liquid Ibuprofen in a way."

Connor nodded and watched Heidi let the others back in. Zoe had Evan’s bag in her hands. The doctor left the room while they waited for Evan to wake up.

“What are we going to do about the people who hurt Evan” Zoe asked.

“I’ll ask the school” Cynthia said. “It’s not fair if they aren’t punished. They threw the first punch."

“I saw Cooper bleeding” Zoe mumbled. “How did he hurt his arm?"

“Evan may have sharp nails” Cynthia shrugged.

“Evan’s too worried for that” Connor chuckled. “He’d bite them off before he’d hurt someone with them."

“Thorns” Evan whispered. “Ouch! What happened?"

“We fought some homophobic assholes” Connor grinned.

“Oh yeah” Evan smiled. “Why am I bloody?"

“Kyle kicked you with his steel toed cowboy boots” Zoe answered. “They had metal on the toe for design. I’m guessing that cut you."

“There’s a rip in my shirt” Evan noted. “I’ll agree to that."

“Ready to go home” Heidi questioned.

Evan glanced over to Heidi before looking down again. Evan nodded and Connor went to help him stand. Evan kept a hand near where his stitches were at all times and started walking out. Zoe handed Heidi Evan’s bag as Connor helped Evan into Heidi’s car.

“I got suspended” Connor mumbled. “But, it was worth it. I helped you fight some assholes."

“Yeah” Evan sighed. “Will you come over tomorrow?"

“Of course” Connor smiled. “I’ll bring gummy bears."

Evan perked up at that and Connor chuckled. Evan pulled Connor into a hug and Connor kept away from any injuries. When Connor pulled back Evan kissed his cheek before Connor got away.

“Love you” Evan whispered.

“Love you to Evangreen” Connor beamed.

Connor walked back over to his car as Heidi got into her own. Cynthia drove her kid’s home and Connor retold the whole story for Cynthia. Apparently the second asshole was named Taylor, at least according to Zoe.

Chapter Text

Evan was scared. Heidi made him sit on the couch and wait for her when they got home. What was going to happen? Heidi came back from the kitchen and handed Evan a mug full of ice cream.

“I’ve been writing my apology since I found out that you were gone” Heidi whispered. “You know me, I like rhyming, so I put it into rhyme. Okay?"

Evan nodded and started to eat his ice cream.

“It was a February day” Heidi read from her paper. “When your dad came by before going away. A U-Haul truck in the driveway. The day was suddenly real. I told you not to come outside, but you saw that truck and you smiled so wide. A real live truck in your driveway. We let you sit behind the wheel. Good bye, good bye. Now it’s just me and my little guy. And the house felt so big, and I felt so small. The house felt so big, and I felt so small."

Evan put his mug down and faced Heidi. She grabbed his hand before continuing.

“That night I tucked you into bed. I will never forget, how you sat up and said ‘Is there another truck coming to our driveway? A truck that will take mommy away’? And the house felt so big, and I felt so small. The house felt so big, and I…and I knew that there would be moments that I’d miss. And I knew there would be space that I couldn’t fill. And I knew that I’d come up short a million different ways! And I did…and I do…and I will. But like that February day, I will take your hand, squeeze it tightly and say ‘There’s not another truck in the driveway. Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here. Your mom isn’t going anywhere, your mom is staying right here no matter what. I’ll be here’. When it all feels so big, till it all feels so small. When it all feels so big, until it all feels so small…till it all feels so small."

Heidi put the paper down and squeezed Evan’s hand. She looked Evan in the eyes and he could see his mother’s tears.

“I’m so sorry Evan” Heidi whispered. “I’m sorry that I left you. I’m sorry that you felt that way. I’m sorry that you thought you couldn’t trust me. Evan, I’m sorry that you had to hide your really amazing gifts from me."

Evan smiled at Heidi and tried to ignore the tulips growing out of his arms. He was still mad, but Evan was a good liar. Evan grew a long stemmed bunch of lilacs and handed them to Heidi. She accepted the flowers and went to put them into a vase. Evan went back to his ice cream and watched Heidi join him.

“I can’t just forgive you like that” Evan whispered. “I almost died. You left. I didn’t know if you would vanish like Dad did or if you would turn me in for being different. I’m sorry, but I can’t forgive you yet."

“I know honey” Heidi smiled. “I know that. Can we work on it?"

“Slowly” Evan nodded. “I’ll be right back."

Evan walked to the back of the house and went over to the oak tree. Heidi had followed him and watched as Evan turned himself into a tree.

“Why are you doing that honey” Heidi asked.

“I can repair my rib” Evan responded. “I fixed my spine last Tuesday, I can fix this."

“Evan, don’t” Heidi warned. “Your bone will be stronger if it repairs on its own. I’m not expert on tree people, but that doesn’t seem right."

Evan nodded and changed back to normal. He walked back inside and went to his room. Evan changed his shirt and threw his other one into the trash, there was no repairing it. Evan decided to turn in for the night and went to sleep. Evan felt Heidi pull the blanket over his shoulders before she left.

One day at a time Hansen. One day at a time.

-+-

Connor arrived at Evan’s early in the morning. It was agreed that Alana would get Zoe, Connor, and Evan’s homework from teachers for them the first day. Zoe would cover the boys until Connor was back, then Connor would take care of Evan’s for the remainder of the time he was gone.

Connor knocked on the door and Heidi answered. She looked ready for work.

“He’s still sleeping” Heidi smiled. “Thanks for spending time with him Connor. I’ve gotta head to work. Make sure that Evan is careful of his stitches."

Connor couldn’t say a word before Heidi left the room. Connor felt his phone buzz and he checked it.

TheInsanelyCoolJK has made the group “Squad Fam”

TheInsanelyCoolJK: where r tree bros and jazz sister?

GayEmoMantis: suspended or bedridden.

YaLikeJazz: It sucks, but stuff happens.

IAmEvan: Why are you waking me at this ungodly hour?

YaLikeJazz added AlanaBeckBeck to the group

AlanaBeckBeck: I have Connor, Zoe, and Evan’s homework. I’ll bring it over after school.

YaLikeJazz: Thanks!

GayEmoMantis: Thx

IAmEvan: Thank you Alana.

TheInsanelyCoolJK: G2G 2 class.

AlanaBeckBeck: Yeah, see you later!

IAmEvan: Bye!

YaLikeJazz: Later!

GayEmoMantis: Fuck off Kleinman.

Connor put down his phone and walked up to Evan’s room. He knocked before opening the door. Evan was sitting up in bed, playing with some vines that were attached to his fingers.

“What are you doing here” Evan asked.

“I said I’d come over” Connor answered. “I brought gummy bears."

“Thanks” Evan smiled. “I’ll get up."

Connor left Evan to get ready and decided to make breakfast. Then Connor couldn’t find anything besides toaster waffles and just threw some into the toaster and waited. When Evan emerged 20 minutes later with wet hair Connor handed him a waffle and went into the living room. Evan looked exhausted.

“My mom apologized to me” Evan mumbled. “It just made me feel worse. I lied to her for almost 13 years. She should hate me."

“My mom didn’t hate me and I expected the same thing of her” Connor noted. “I think moms are forgiving like that. It’s not fair that you had to hide. We didn’t choose to be different. Some demigod chose us, isn’t that crazy? But we dealt with it."

“I still feel bad” Evan sighed.

“How bad are we talking” Connor asked.

“Like I’m sick” Evan answered.

“You broke a rib Evan” Connor grinned. “You’re gonna feel like shit."

“Connor” Evan gasped. “Look out the window."

Connor turned, but couldn’t see what the fuss was about. Evan walked out the back door and Connor followed. It was snowing. The first snow of the season.

“It got cold fast” Connor shivered. “Let’s go inside. Evan, come on."

“I always sit outside for the first snow” Evan protested. “You go, I’ll be back inside in an hour."

“You are so annoying” Connor chuckled. “Fine, freeze your ass off. I won’t stop you."

Connor walked back inside and watched Evan through the window. The snow started to fall harder and soon (more like half an hour) the ground was covered in a layer of white. The grass still stuck through, but it was snowy none the less. Evan had been walking in a circle around the big oak tree in the backyard for the remainder of the time. He looked frozen.

“Evan, you’re gonna get sick” Connor called. “Inside, now."

“No” Evan cried.

“I’ve got hot chocolate and gummy worms” Connor added.

Evan caved and walked back inside. His hair was frozen since he had just showered and he didn’t stop shivering. Connor passed him the hot chocolate and a bag of gummy worms. Evan sat down in the living room and Connor joined him.

“The snow will be gone by tonight” Evan whispered. “If we’re lucky, the snow will stay by the end of the week."

“Evan Hansen, living tree, loves snow” Connor grinned.

“I mean, you do call me Evangreen” Evan shrugged. “I can survive in the winter."

“I just got sassed by the shyest boy in the world” Connor gasped. “What’s the world coming to?"

“Connor” Evan cried. “I’m a little shit under the polo shirts and khakis. You know this already."

“No doubt there” Connor sighed.

Connor rubbed his eyes and frowned. His eyes were itching a lot.

“You okay” Evan asked.

“I’ll be back in a second” Connor mumbled. “I’ve gotta grab something."

Connor dashed out to his car and opened the glove box. He pulled out the case before running back inside. Connor walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

“Are you smoking in my bathroom” Evan questioned.

“No” Connor answered, opening the case. “Just…don’t judge me, okay?"

“Okay” Evan called. “Come out."

Connor opened the door and waited for the laughs. They never came. Evan was just staring with a smile on his lips.

“You wear glasses” Evan nodded. “I didn’t know."

“I forgot to ask my mom to order contacts” Connor explained. “We get special one’s that have a blue color to them."

“Why” Evan wondered.

Connor walked back over to the sink and took out his left contact, it was his bad eye. Connor turned back to Evan and watched the realization sink in.

“Your eye is brown” Evan gasped. “I didn’t know that you had different color eyes."

“I was embarrassed by it” Connor mumbled. “It was just a spot, then the brown spread and it completely changed the color of my eye. My vision is jacked up because of it. My mom gets special contacts that have my prescription and have the color added to them. I don’t like having more reasons to be different."

“We’ve been dating for two months and I still don’t know everything about you” Evan chuckled. “Don’t hide who you are Connor, just be yourself. By the way, the glasses suit you."

Connor made a face as Evan walked away. Connor looked like a total nerd with glasses on. He had black, square frames that were lame to no end. But, if Evan liked them, Connor could deal with looking nerdy.

Connor walked back over to Evan and flopped down on the couch. Evan rested his head on Connor’s shoulder and grabbed his hand. Connor kissed Evan’s hair and turned on the TV. Evan logged into Netflix and they started watching The Office again.

Squad Fam

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Why is asshole Murphy’s name GayEmoMantis?

GayEmoMantis: im gay, emo, and Mantis from the superhero movies is my sprit animal.

AlanaBeckBeck: What about Evan’s name?

IAmEvan: I like trees. Groot is a tree, all he says is “I am Groot” so I took that phrase and put in my name.

GayEmoMantis: what about Alana?

AlanaBeckBeck: I thought it would be like how a bird goes “peck peck” on a tree. Sorry Evan, but I love birds.

YaLikeJazz: Do I need to explain myself?

GayEmoMantis: so…YA LIKE JAZZ!?

TheInsanelyCoolJK: What are you suspended losers doing?

YaLikeJazz: Reading.

GayEmoMantis: fucking Evan

IAmEvan: No he’s not. We’re watching The Office.

IAmEvan: Also, Connor wears glasses.

Connor slapped Evan’s shoulder playfully and Evan laughed. Connor looked back at his phone to see what Kleinman had to say.

TheInsanelyCoolJK: NERDZ!

AlanaBeckBeck has changed their name to ABCSkoolIsEasy

YaLikeJazz: Does no one remember him in kindergarten with his thicc frames?

GayEmoMantis: did u just use “thicc” 2 describe my old glasses??

YaLikeJazz: YASS QUEEN!

GayEmoMantis: u r so fucking gay

ABCSkoolIsEasy: Jared and I wear glasses, what’s the problem with them?

IAmEvan: Connor has heterochromia too!

TheInsanelyCoolJK: He has a STD? WTF?

IAmEvan: “Heterochromia, is when one iris is a different color than the other.” Thanks Google!

TheInsanelyCoolJK: What??? Connor Murphy? School shooter? Has different color eyes? WTF?

GayEmoMantis: my left eye is brown. Suck it Kleinman! Colored contacts are amazing!

TheInsanelyCoolJK: If I suck, you swallow!

YaLikeJazz: When we were little his eye only had a spot of brown, it just kept growing over time. By kindergarten Connor had horrible vision and our mom started him with contacts so he could have eyes that were the same color!

ABCSkoolIsEasy: How would you house Evan in Hogwarts?

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Hufflepuff

YaLikeJazz: Gryffindor

ABCSkoolIsEasy: Hufflepuff

GayEmoMantis: Slytherin. He’s a little shit!

IAmEvan: I really am.

ABCSkoolIsEasy:  Zoe?

GayEmoMantis: Ravenclaw

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Yeah, Ravenclaw

IAmEvan: Gryffindor

ABCSkoolIsEasy: I agree with Evan. How about Jared?

IAmEvan: Hufflepuff

GayEmoMantis: Hufflepuff

ABCSkoolIsEasy: Hufflepuff

YaLikeJazz: Hufflepuff

TheInsanelyCoolJK: WTF? Evan, you backstabbing asshole! Murphy! What about him?

YaLikeJazz: Gryffindor

ABCSkoolIsEasy: HufflePuff

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Slytherin

IAmEvan: Ravenclaw

GayEmoMantis: Zoe, no. Alana, maybe. Jared, fuck yeah. Evan, what the fuck dude?

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Hey Evan, my mom wants to know if you’re alright.

IAmEvan: Yeah, just a broken rib and some stitches. No big deal.

GayEmoMantis: later fuckers!

Connor pulled Evan’s phone away and set it on the coffee table with his own. Connor made Evan sit up and look at him.

“Some idiot broke your rib and you say it’s no big deal” Connor whispered. “What if they had killed you?"

“I don’t think-”

“You matter Evan” Connor stated. “I care about you, Zoe and Alana do too. What about your mom? Evan, don’t let those assholes win."

“I’m not down about it” Evan mumbled. “They won’t do it again, or else they’ll get expelled."

“Evan, you broke a fucking rib” Connor repeated. “The assholes that hurt you will face my wrath. I don’t want you thinking that it was okay."

“I don’t-”

“Promise me that you won’t let them win” Connor demanded.

“I promise” Evan nodded, burying his head into Connor’s chest. “I’m sorry."

“I wasn’t upset with you” Connor murmured. “Love you Evan."

“Love you too” Evan smiled.

Chapter Text

Evan was bored out of his mind. Connor was back at school, meaning no one could stay home with him and watch Disney movies all day with him. Heidi had promised to be home at a reasonable time, but Evan wasn’t holding her to it.

Evan decided to get out of the house. Evan grabbed his car keys and walked out the door, watching his broken rib. Yes Evan Hansen, shy boy award winner of the year, could drive. Evan was the proud owner of a grey Mazda 3 with one red door. He didn’t understand why people found this surprising.

Evan carefully pulled out of his driveway and started the drive to the orchard. He just wanted some fresh air. Once Evan arrived he walked the fence until he found a gate to get in safely. Evan walked around until he found the tree he had fell out of. Had that only been a week and a half ago? Wow.

Evan sat at the base of the tree and enjoyed the sunshine. It was going to snow a boatload over the weekend. Evan eventually dozed off while staring at the clouds.

Evan woke to his phone buzzing. It was the group chat.

Squad Fam

TheInsanelyCoolJK: Ev, How you doing?

GayEmoMantis: Bruh, he’s probly sleepin

YaLikeJazz: School is almost out. Why would he be asleep?

IAmEvan: I’m up now.

ABCSkoolIsEasy: Hello Evan, how are you feeling.

IAmEvan changed their name to Evan

Evan changed TheInsanelyCoolJK to Jared

Evan changed YaLikeJazz to Zoe

Evan changed ABCSkoolIsEasy to Alana

Evan changed GayEmoMantis to Connor

Evan: I’m kinda cold, but I’m fine.

Jared: Why are you cold?

Connor: babe I know u r a freeze baby, but u have blankets

Evan: I’m cold because I’m outside. I took a nap outside.

Zoe: Why???

Evan: I wanted to? I can? Does it really matter?

Alana: We are simply trying to keep you from missing more school.

Connor: Where r u?

Evan: The orchard. I drove myself.

Zoe: Are you okay?

Connor: Ev, please come back home.

Jared: Don’t freak out over him being around trees. He has a tree kink.

Connor: No, no he don’t. I would know. Ev, I’ll be there soon, I just have to get out of class.

Evan: I’m coming home right now. Don’t worry guys. 

Alana: Why should we worry?

Zoe: not my place to say babe. 

Evan: Last Tuesday I fell out of a tree. I was gonna jump, but Connor and Zoe came and convinced me not to, then the branch I was on snapped. Connor only fell a few branches but I fell to the ground.

Jared: Does that mean that the first time...you were gonna kill yourself.

Evan: I tried. It didn’t work. I’m better now, okay not “better” but I don’t feel suicidal now. My therapist changed my meds up and they’re working.

Alana: I’m glad you’re doing better.

Zoe: Where’s Con?

Connor: waiting for the bell 2 ring. I’m at my locker. I’ll meet you at your house Ev.

Evan: Bring Jared.

Zoe: Do I need to come?

Jared: He probably asked me to come so I can bring him gummy bears.

Connor: I’m offended that Evan has 2 bear dealers. Babe, the betrayal.

Evan: I want to explain some things more in depth with Jared. Connor already knows, but I’m only ready to share with Jared.

Alana: That is completely okay with me, I respect that depression and anxiety are difficult things to handle. I will always be there if you need to talk, any of you.

Zoe: What is said in Squad Fam stays in Squad Fam.

Jared changed the group name to Furious Five

Jared: I agree with Zoe. See ya soon Ev.

Evan: Later

Connor: c u soon

Zoe: bye!

Alana: Goodbye!

Evan had just made it back to his car when his phone rang. It was Connor. Evan answered as he stepped into the car.

”Hey” Evan smiled. “I told you I’m fine.”

”I know, I’m just worried because of how you were hurt and it just...ugh. You wanna tell Jared about our powers?”

”He deserves to know Connor” Evan mumbled. “I wouldn’t suggest it if it didn’t feel right.”

“Okay” Connor nodded. “I’m bringing gummy bears, Only I can bring you gummy bears.”

”No promises” Evan chuckled.

”Can we not tell him today” Connor mumbled. “I’d feel better if we did it on Monday. Please?”

”Of course” Evan nodded. “I’m gonna drive home now. Love you.”

”I love you too” Connor breathed.

Evan hung up the call and drove home. Once he was back in the safety of his home Evan felt better. Just a few more days. Then Jared would know.

When the two teens walked into the house with candy and worksheets Evan gladly took them and sat down with Connor, Jared perched on a chair.

“You guys are so gay” Jared snorted.

“Hell yeah” Connor smirked.

“So Evan” Jared sighed. “You’re suicidal. Why not tell anyone? Heidi, me, anyone would have listened.”

“At the time you made it clear that you didn’t want to involve me in your life” Evan sighed. “You wouldn’t even admit that we were friends.”

“Heidi knows now” Connor mumbled. “Last Tuesday was a very...emotional day for Evan. Lots happened.”

“Connor blames himself for the fight” Jared recalled.

“Con” Evan whined.

“Isn’t it” Connor groaned. “Maybe just a bit? Maybe not fully, but a bit?”

“They hurt me to get to you” Evan whispered. “They wanted you to hurt. It’s gonna be fine Connor.”

Connor just nodded in response. Evan frowned at his minimal response and motioned to Jared. The teen left to get a drink and Evan climbed into Connor’s lap. Evan squished Connor’s cheeks together and pressed a kiss to his nose.”

“I love you” Evan whispered.

“I wuv you two” Connor chuckled, his words slurred from his face being smushed.

Evan felt happy. Things were turning around, life was slowly getting back on track, and he was opening up to more people. Evan could tell that Connor would never forgive himself fully for what happened at school, but he hoped that it would at least get better.

Chapter Text

Connor was planning on sitting alone at lunch the next Monday. He wasn’t feeling too great and Evan had an appointment to check his rib and his stitches. Zoe had a lunch practice for jazz band, Alana was doing god knows what, and Jared didn’t get along with Connor when alone. It was getting better between them, but it wasn’t perfect.

Ev: Hey, my mom said I can come back to school for the afternoon. I know you’re at lunch, can you drive me?

Connor: Sure thing. I’ll be there in ten.

Ev: Thanks!

Connor: No problem babe.

Connor burst out of the school and into his car. He was at the hospital in record time. Did he maybe run a few red lights? Who knew? Connor walked in the doors and saw Evan sitting behind the desk with his mom. 

“Hey Heidi” Connor called. “I’m here to pick up the slacker?” 

“Thanks for coming to get him Connor” Heidi chuckled. “Have fun you two!” 

Evan walked around the desk and grabbed Connor’s hand. The two walked back to the car. Evan looked so happy that Connor couldn’t help but smile. 

“Did you eat lunch” Connor asked. 

“Grabbed a sandwich just before you showed up” Evan assured. “I love you. I feel like I don’t say it enough.” 

“I won’t stop you” Connor snorted, ignoring the heavy feeling in his chest. 

The two spent the rest of the ride in silence. Evan didn’t like the idea of talking in the car unless he was in a chatty mood as it was, something about distracted driving. When they did arrive Evan practically dragged Connor into the building.

Connor sat in the office as Evan signed himself in for the day. The principal gave Connor a glare but went back to his work. Evan nodded to Connor and they walked to his locker to talk for the rest of lunch.

•This is what happens while they talk•

Connor and Evan forced Jared to come with them after school. Today would be the day that they told him about their powers. Kleinman was pretty shocked at the offer to hang out with them, but he accepted after some persuasion. 

“Okay, have you ever noticed anything weird about me and Connor” Evan asked. 

“Your gay asses are weirdly close” Jared shrugged. “Evan is a master gardener?” 

“Shouldn’t we just show him” Connor groaned. “Honestly?” 

“You can show him” Evan offered. “You are a more visible showing. I’ll think of something.” 

“Quit talking in code” Jared cried. 

“Pipe it Jennifer” Connor snapped. 

“Hey” Evan frowned. “That’s just mean.” 

“Sorry” Connor mumbled. 

Connor decided to just sprout his antennas and Evan grew flowers out of his hands. Jared jumped back. 

“What the hell” Jared whispered. “What is this.” 

“Are we gonna be here awhile” Connor asked, putting his antennas back. 

“Fuck yeah you are” Jared roared. 

“Okay look” Evan sighed. “It started out with this prophecy...”

Chapter Text

Evan was sitting in the living room. Cynthia and Zoe had come over. Connor was out doing something but he was left a note for when he got back so he knew to come over.

Evan jumped when his phone rang. It was Connor. Evan answered with a smile. 

“Hello” Evan answered. 

“Uh, is this Evan” a woman’s voice asked. 

“Yes...can I talk to Connor” Evan frowned. “And who are you?”

“I’m Katie Jackson” the woman sighed. “I’m afraid Connor can’t speak right now.” 

-+-

Three Hours Earlier

Connor burst out of the school when the bell rang. Christmas break officially started. And safe to say...Connor didn’t care. Connor didn’t care about anything at that point. 

Connor’s depression had been kicking his ass. He didn’t dare say anything to Dr. Sherman or his mom, they would think he was just whining. Everyone would think that, he was a freak after all. Connor managed to hide it when he was directly talking with his family or friends, but he felt broken. More than usual. 

Connor ran to his car and drove off. He had to be quick. Connor pulled into his driveway and charged into his bathroom. He grabbed his newly refilled pills and the razor from the medicine cabinet and drove off again. He wanted to say goodbye. 

Larry hadn’t been seen by the Murphy siblings since Thanksgiving. Connor thought he could at least say goodbye to his father, then Larry wouldn’t think it was because Connor didn’t have a dad around. The thing is, Larry lived 45 minutes away. Connor knew the address of his apartment building, but he had never even drove by it. 

When Connor arrived he walked in the door and was met with a receptionist, she was dressed in almost all red, and she seemed disgusted at the sight of a lanky teenage boy. 

“I’m here to see Larry Murphy” Connor told the woman. 

“How do you know Mr. Murphy” the receptionist asked. 

“I’m his son” Connor explained. “If you could just tell him I’m here-” 

“Connor” Larry called. 

Connor whipped around, his hair flying in his face. Larry was walking towards the teen with a surprised look on his face. 

“Hi” Connor waved, brushing his hair out of his eyes. 

“It’s okay Heather” Larry shushed when the receptionist opened her mouth. “Come on Connor.” 

The two walked to the elevator and they rode up in silence. Larry lived in a major city, so his apartment was on the tenth floor. Larry welcomed Connor inside and watched his son take it in. Very simple, very Larry. In the corner was a tiny Christmas tree with two boxes under it. 

“How has school been” Larry questioned. 

“Pretty good” Connor answered. “I still haven’t missed a day. It’s not as bad as I thought.” 

“Do you know if Zoe will come by” Larry asked. “I have your Christmas presents and I want to make sure she gets it.” 

“I don't think so” Connor sighed. “This was kinda a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t tell anyone that I was coming.” 

“Can you give her the present” Larry smiled. “It would be better if I don’t show up at the house. Cynthia made it clear that I’m not welcome.” 

“I’m sorry for what I said on Thanksgiving” Connor mumbled. “I just...you called mom out, saying that she wasn’t a good mom and that I was still a huge stoned and...I couldn’t handle it. I’m sorry La-Dad.” 

“It’s okay Connor” Larry assured. “Can you open your present? I know it’s early, but I want to watch.” 

Connor nodded and Larry grabbed the boxes from under the tree. One was wrapped in red, the other in purple. Larry handed Connor the red box and set the purple one on the floor. Connor ripped open the box and grinned despite himself. 

Inside the box was an Iron Man hoodie. It sounded lame, sure. But Connor was a huge nerd. Under the hoodie was a horned helmet for a Loki costume. Something was scribbled on the side. 

“What the actual fuck” Connor whispered. “This was signed by Tom Hiddleston! Larry!” 

“One of my coworkers was meeting with his agent and he owed me a favor” Larry shrugged. “Zoe got a galaxy hoodie and something else I can’t tell you about.” 

“Can I tell you something” Connor blurted, he had to get all his confessions out now. 

“Of course” Larry nodded. 

“I’m gay” Connor stated. 

“Oh.” 

That’s all Larry had to say. Connor physically felt his last strand of hope break. 

“Well, I’m so glad we had this chance to catch up” Connor muttered, grabbing his things to leave. 

“Conor wait-” 

“This is why I don’t tell you shit Larry! You can’t just accept it. You have to be a dick and not accept it!” 

Connor stormed out of the apartment and out of the building. Connor was half way home when he finally calmed down. It was now or never. 

Connor stopped at home again. No one was home. Connor grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Cynthia had left a note for him. 

Connor, 

Zoe and I went to the Hansen’s for a few hours. You can come over if you want. love you!

Connor just put Zoe’s present under the tree and started walking. The pills in his pocket feeling heavier. Connor eventually ended up at a park in Evan’s neighborhood. It was quiet, not very busy with the cold weather. 

Connor downed the pills one at a time. One...two...five...thirteen...twenty seven...thirty. Connor didn’t feel anything. Connor took off his hoodie and grabbed the razor. He cut deep lines into his arms and put the knife down. Now all he had to do was wait. He just sat, and then everything went dark.

-+-

“Why can’t Connor talk” Evan demanded, getting the attention of Zoe. 

“He overdosed” Katie explained. “I’ve already called, and an ambulance is on the way.” 

“I’ll meet you there” Evan whispered, tossing his phone to Zoe. 

Evan burst out the door. He heard Heidi call after him but he blocked it out. It was his fault. He didn’t see it. He should have seen it. Evan didn’t stop running until he was inside the hospital where his mom worked. Abbey was at the desk. 

“Evan, honey, what’s wrong” Abbey asked. 

“Connor, overdose, I ran here” Evan sputtered out. 

“That was him” Abbey gasped. “Come sit with me sweetheart, we’ll both be here when he arrives.” 

Evan sat behind the desk with Abbey and bounced his knee. When Evan heard the commotion behind him he whipped around and saw a kid on a stretcher. Abbey nodded to him and he shot up, running over. Connor was unconscious and he was blue and...it was Evan’s fault. 

“Are you Evan” a woman asked. 

“Yeah” Evan nodded. 

“I’m Katie” she greeted. “I, uh, I have what he used. Maybe it can help?” 

“Can I see” Abbey questioned. 

Katie pulled an empty pill bottle out of her pocket. But inside it was something metal and it had red on it and...Evan didn’t see Connor’s arms. 

“Thank you” Abbey muttered, taking the bottle. 

Abbey walked away and Evan turned back to Katie. Katie had a familiar black hoodie in her arms. 

“It was on the ground next to him” Katie explained. “That’s where I found his phone. Did you want it?” 

Evan nodded and he was handed the sweatshirt. Katie pulled Connor’s phone out of her pocket and handed that to him too. 

“Evan” Zoe’s voice shouted. 

Zoe, Cynthia, and Heidi ran over. Heidi was dressed in her scrubs. Cynthia started talking with Katie and Evan handed her Connor’s phone. Zoe motioned him over to a chair and he plopped down next to her. 

“Okay” Zoe whispered. “We have to promise not to blame ourselves. Connor wouldn’t want that. He probably did his best to hide it from us, so it’s not our fault. Okay?” 

“Yeah” Evan nodded. “Okay.” 

The two teens sat for an hour. Watching their mothers run around or speak with other nurses. Heidi was the one to relieve them. 

“Evan” Heidi sighed. “I want you to take Zoe home. Connor should be okay. He had time and we were able to pump his stomach. He’s just sleeping right now. So unless his body has a reaction to something else and he didn’t lose too much blood he should be okay. I don’t want either of you to stay here right now, Cynthia is staying the night. Go home, try to rest.” 

Heidi handed Evan Cynthia’s car keys and embraced both children before running off again. Evan could feel the ivy coiling around his legs and the flowers on his shoulders. He didn’t like this at all. 

Evan walked Zoe out of the hospital and shook off the flowers. Zoe just kinda watched the petals fall from his shirt. 

“Emotions” Evan explained. 

“Oh, okay” Zoe mumbled. 

Evan forced the ivy on his legs to turn to dust as they finished the walk. Zoe got into the car and Evan started it up. Evan was a careful driver, so he was probably a little slow with getting back to the Murphy house, but it was better than crashing and making everything worse. 

Zoe welcomed Evan inside and they walked to the kitchen. They didn’t feel like eating. Zoe ran up to her room and Evan walked to Connor’s. He had spare clothes in his closet. Evan found his pajamas  and threw them on before walking back downstairs with blankets and a pillow. Zoe had the same idea. 

“You have his hoodie” Zoe noted. 

Evan glanced at his arms and the black fabric covering them. Evan just nodded and plopped down on the couch. 

Evan quickly texted Jared about the situation and closed down his phone. Zoe turned on Queer Eye and they watched that until they passed out.

+

Evan woke to someone banging on the door. Evan cracked open his eyes and looked over to Zoe’s spot on the couch. She was already up and put her things away. Evan stood up from his makeshift bed on the floor and opened the front door. 

“Jared” Evan yawned. “Jeremy? Michael?” 

“Hey dude” Michael greeted. “We heard about what happened to Murphy, Jared was with us when you texted him. So we came here to see you.” 

“Thanks guys” Evan mumbled. “Zoe and I are just gonna go to the hospital and check up on him.” 

“Yeah, I’m driving you” Jared stated. “You look like shit and I’m not letting you drive.” 

Evan welcomed them inside and went to picking up his blankets. Evan trudged up the stairs and put everything back on Connor’s bed. Evan got dressed and walked back downstairs. Zoe was ready to go. 

“Alright losers” Jared muttered. “I can tell you both haven’t ate anything, so we’re stopping for coffee and muffins and you can’t stop me. And yes I’ll get your precious tea Evan.” 

Evan let Jeremy pull him out of the house. Zoe grabbed her keys and Jared sat her in the passenger seat. Evan now had Connor’s hoodie around his waist. Michael gave his shoulder a squeeze and they drove off. 

Jared and Jeremy went into the coffee shop to handle orders. Michael stayed in the car with Zoe and Evan to try and cheer them up. Evan cracked a weak smile, but nothing more. 

Everyone was handed their coffe, or tea in Evan’s case, and a chocolate muffin. Jared had also grabbed breakfast for Cynthia. Jared made sure that Evan started eating before driving off. 

Heidi was at the desk when they walked in. She directed them to Connor’s room and Cynthia was walking out when they arrived. Zoe handed her mom the extra muffin and coffe and she accepted it with a smile. 

“He isn’t up yet but he should be soon” Cynthia smiled. “Evan, you can go in first honey.” 

Evan smiled at Cynthia and walked into the room. Connor was on the bed, sleeping. His arms were wrapped up and he had an IV in his arm. Evan sat in the chair next to the bed and heald his hand. He just wanted to sit for a few minutes. 

Evan pressed a kiss to Connor’s hair and ran a hand through the dark locks. Evan spotted a vase and grew a bunch of flowers to put inside. Evan felt satisfied now. 

“Evan” Connor groaned, opening his eyes. 

“Hey” Evan whispered, grabbing his hand. “You’re okay, it’s okay. I’m right here.” 

“Why are you here” Connor frowned. “Why am I not dead?” 

“A woman found you and called an ambulance” Evan explained. “I’m here because I care. You shouldn’t have to question that Con.” 

“No” Connor muttered. “Go home. Evan, get out of here.” 

“What-” 

“Get out of here! I don’t want you here, get out! I don’t want to be around you, go away!” 

Evan backed into the door and stepped out of the room. Jeremy and Michael were waiting for him. Zoe was there too. 

“He’s up” Evan mumbled, holding back tears. “And he dumped me.” 

Evan walked away from the group and walked home. He didn’t care that it was snowing, it was his fault. It was his fault. He did this. He caused Connor to try and kill himself. God! He was an idiot! 

Once Evan was home he threw himself into his bed and let the tears fall. He couldn’t believe that this was happening.

Chapter Text

Connor was in rehab until the day after Christmas. It was the worst experience ever. He only got out as soon as he did because Heidi was his nurse. 

Heidi never mentioned the break up. Connor expected her to at least act coldly towards him. She just smiled when she checked up on him. He wondered if she even knew. 

When Connor returned home he didn’t have a bedroom door. It was just...gone. 

“You don’t have a door until I know you won’t hurt yourself” Cynthia explained, running a hand down his bandaged arm. “You are also grounded to the house for the rest of break. And once school starts you are to go directly to school and come right home. Understand?” 

“Yeah” Connor nodded. 

“I also went through your room” Cynthia sighed. “I know you’ve been clean from smoking, but I found what you had, and I threw it away.” 

“Alright” Connor mumbled. 

“You also can’t drive anymore” Cynthia added. 

“For how long” Connor groaned. 

“Until I say so” Cynthia answered. “I’m sorry baby, but I’m just trying to keep you safe.” 

Connor nodded and Cynthia left him alone. Connor’s new meds made him feel tired, but the doctor said it would go away with time. Connor decided to draw while he waited for Cynthia to shout that it was time for presents. 

Connor pulled out his almost full sketchbook and glanced at the cup on his desk. Among the pens, pencils, and paintbrushes was the rose Evan gave him. Bright and alive as ever. Connor picked it up to throw away, but he couldn’t. Connor just placed the flower back in the cup and grabbed a pencil. 

Connor ended up throwing his hair into a messy bun while he worked. Connor just let his mind wander as the pencil scratched against the paper. Ten minutes later Connor had a finished sketch...of Evan. 

Connor couldn’t get the boy out of his head. He tried, he honestly did. But the boy was constantly on his mind. Connor could have been smoother with the break up. He shouldn’t have just said it. Evan looked horrified when he left. Connor just...didn’t need to put Evan though that. Evan was already a mess on his own, if he had to worry about Connor it would have just made things worse. Connor was doing Evan a favor. 

“Con” Zoe called, knocking on the doorframe. “Hey dude. Present time.” 

Connor nodded and shut his sketchbook. Connor grabbed a maroon hoodie to throw on over his arms so no one had to see the bandages. Connor walked down the stairs and sat in his usual spot on the couch next to Zoe. Cynthia had already passed around the presents. 

Cynthia got a vase from Zoe and a painting from Connor. Connor was more of a make a present kind of guy. 

Zoe got her galaxy hoodie from Larry, along with a CD from one of her favorite bands that was signed. Cynthia got Zoe new curtains, deep purple, and Connor gave her a mug he made in art that had “I’m Bi” carved into it repeatedly. 

Connor got a new pair of boots from Zoe, he actually needed a new pair, and a thermos from Cynthia. Connor also got a set of charcoals from Evan along with a new sketchbook. Connor remembered Evan putting it there earlier in the month.

Along with that the kids got their usual stocking stuffers and that was it. The Murphy’s were never big on holidays. 

Connor embraced his mother and sister before running back up to his room. Connor put his gifts away and sat down on his bed. Connor didn’t even have his phone to mess around on. 

“Connor” Zoe hummed. 

“Yeah Zo” Connor sighed. 

“Why did you break up with Evan” Zoe asked. 

“Not now Zoe” Connor muttered, rolling to face the wall. 

“But it doesn’t make sense” Zoe protested. “You’ve never been happier. You, god you smiled. He made you happy. Do you know what Evan did?” 

“Making me feel guilty won’t help” Connor groaned. 

“The moment he found out that you...did what you did. He threw his phone at me and ran the whole way to the hospital. He sprinted. Now I don’t know if Evan has some supernatural ability to run fast, but he had to be worried if that happened. He stayed the night here with me. Connor, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, I’m trying to get you to change your mind. Cause if you don’t Evan won’t want you around him anymore.” 

“Zoe, I didn’t want to dump him” Connor cried. “After November...I’m just making things worse for him.” 

“You fuck nut” Zoe muttered, pulling out her phone. “Me and Jared have been talking. Evan won’t talk to anyone. He barely spoke to Heidi. Just see what’s going on.” 

Connor took the phone and read the messages that Zoe had pulled up. 

Jared: Zoe, has Connor talked to you?

Zoe: He isn’t home yet

Jared: Evan’s fucked up. Like...bad.

Zoe: What happened?

Jared: Well, first he was just the usual amount of sad for a break up. But now he won’t leave his room. He refused to talk to me when I came over. The only thing he said was “It’s my fault. I’m useless.”

Zoe: Jesus...I don’t know what to do. I’ll talk to Connor.

Jared: Okay, thanks. 

“Jesus” Connor whispered. “Why does he blame himself?” 

“Because the moment you woke up you told him that you didn’t want to see him” Zoe cried. 

“What do I do Zoe” Connor asked. “I’m under house arrest, and after that you know Evan will avoid me in the halls. Oh yeah, I forgot, Mom refuses to give me phone.” 

“She told me you’d get it back when school starts” Zoe sighed. “Just...make a gesture.” 

“I’ll need your help” Connor muttered.

-+-

Evan was fine. He wasn’t beating himself up. He wasn’t making stupid decisions. He was being his happy self. But he wasn’t. 

Evan was currently in a ball. Literally. He grew a ball of sticks and moss in his backyard. There was a hatch at the top for Evan to climb out and it was small enough that it stayed pretty warm inside.  Evan was sitting in the ball while watching the countdown to midnight. 

Heidi was working, go figure. But Evan brushed it off and kept trying to be positive. After...that...he had to be positive. Heidi said he could keep his ball until spring, so not all was lost. 

Evan heard the back door open and he clicked off his phone. Burglars? Jared? His mom? 

“I’ve heard of hiding in a ball but this is some next level shit Evan.” 

“Connor?” 

“It would be easier to talk to you if you weren’t hiding in a hamster ball” Connor chuckled. 

Evan opened the hatch at the top of his ball and climbed up from inside. It was freezing out. Connor was standing next to the ball. Connor helped Evan get down from the top and waited. 

“I thought you were under house arrest” Evan muttered. 

“I snuck out” Connor shrugged. 

“I could text Cynthia right now and you would be in more trouble” Evan muttered. 

“But you won’t” Connor sighed. “You’re too nice. Can we go inside? It’s freezing.”

Evan nodded and the pair walked back into the house. Evan sat on the counter and watched Connor grab a bag covered object. 

“You got me the charcoals” Connor mumbled. “I got you this.” 

Evan tore off the bag and let out a gasp. A little bonsai tree. And it looked healthy. Evan had always wanted one. 

“Merry Christmas” Connor tried. 

“I’m Jewish” Evan frowned.

“Hanukkah” Connor corrected. 

“That was last week” Evan sighed. 

“I’m trying here” Connor cried. 

“Thank you for the bonsai Connor” Evan whispered. “I’m glad you’re doing better.” 

“Yeah...well I’ve had tons of time to sit in my room and contemplate life” Connor muttered. “I don’t even have my phone.” 

“Oh” Evan nodded. “That’s good. I uh, having time to think is good. Not having your phone must suck. Sorry.” 

“Calm down Evan” Connor said. 

“Why are you here Connor” Evan questioned. 

“Okay” Connor mumbled. “When I woke up and saw you fussing over me. I felt bad. I felt like you were stuck in a relationship with a guy who couldn’t handle his own life, let alone help you with yours. And since what happened in November...I felt horrible. So I thought that just getting you out as soon as I could would be the best thing I’m the reason you got beat up and some dick broke your rib.” 

“That’s the most cliche thing I’ve ever heard” Evan stated. 

“I know” Connor sighed. “I’m a fuck nut as Zoe put it.” 

“What do you want” Evan asked. 

“I wanted to apologize for being a fuck nut” Connor replied. “And I wanted to ask if you would let me come back. Because I was a dick to you, so you don’t have to say yes. I just...had to ask.” 

“You say it like I could say no if I tried” Evan chuckled. 

Connor perked up and strided over to Evan. Evan felt Connor pick him up and close the distance between them while Evan wrapped his legs around Connor. Evan could tell that Connor was being hesitant about kissing him. Evan wrapped his arms around Connor’s neck and kissed him harder. 

“I missed you” Connor murmured. “Fuck I love you.” 

“Shut up and kiss me” Evan breathed. “You fuck nut.”

Connor pressed his lips against Evan’s again and Evan tugged gently on Connor’s hair. 

“Happy new year Ev” Connor whispered, glancing at the clock on the stove. 

“Happy new year Connor” Evan smiled. 

-+-

One thing Connor was a sucker for was cuddles. He wouldn’t admit it, but he would give anything to cuddle with Evan every night. That’s why Connor stayed the night at Evan’s and clung to him like he hung the stars in the sky. 

Connor heard the stairs squeak and he woke up. Not only did his meds make him tired, but when he did sleep, almost everything woke him up.

Heidi poked her head through Evan’s door and Connor pretended to be asleep. Heidi walked over and ran a hand through Evan’s hair. Heidi did the same to Connor and the teen couldn’t help but flinch. 

“Did I wake you up” Heidi gasped. 

“No” Connor yawned. “My meds make it hard to sleep, but I’m always tired.” 

“I’m glad you two made up” Heidi whispered, wrapping Connor in a hug. “Good night honey.” 

“Night Heidi” Connor smiled, laying back down. 

Evan rolled into Connor’s chest and wrapped his arms around the taller boy’s torso. Connor kissed his hair before closing his eyes and attempting to sleep again.

-

Connor woke up Evan nuzzling his neck. Connor opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around Evan’s waist. 

“Hi” Connor murmured. 

“Morning” Evan purred, kissing at Connor’s neck. 

“I love you” Connor whispered. 

“I love you too” Evan giggled. 

“We’re you drunk last night and I didn’t notice” Connor asked. “Are you drunk right now?”

“No” Evan assured. “I’m just happy to see you. I’m glad that we can talk and that we can cuddle.” 

“I can’t believe you sometimes” Connor chuckled, pulling Evan closer to him. 

“You love me” Evan grinned. 

“Yes, I do. Very much.” 

Connor sprouted his antennas for the first time since before his attempt. Evan grinned as the white bulbs shined. 

“We should get up” Connor sighed. “My mom probably knows I’m not home by now and is haveing a freak out.” 

“I didn’t even think of that” Evan gasped, throwing back the blanket covering them. “She’s gonna be so mad. What if she’s mad at me?” 

“She can’t be mad at you Ev” Connor whispered. “My mom adores you. She would adopt you if she could...and Heidi like...wasn’t...I’m gonna stop talking.” 

“Good choice” Evan nodded, pecking Connor’s cheek. 

The boys got up and walked around the room getting ready. Connor threw on his jeans and found the maroon hoodie he had made his new favorite. When Connor turned around Evan was searching for a shirt in his dresser. Connor noted a bruise on the shorter boy’s back, How had that gotten there? Evan pulled on a dark blue polo and grabbed a pair of khakis. Connor noted his black hoodie hung over the desk chair. 

“I didn’t mean to take it” Evan mumbled. “But I had it when we...fought. I just...forgot to give it back.” 

“It’s okay” Connor assured. “Just...hold onto it for me. I’ve got this red one. We’re good.” 

The boys walked down the stairs and Connor smiled when the familiar creak from the second to last stair went off. He had missed this. Connor stopped dead in the kitchen. His mom was sitting at the counter with Heidi. 

“Hey Mom” Connor called. “What are you doing here?” 

“Well, making sure that you get your meds obviously” Cynthia hummed, passing the pills over to Connor. 

“You’re not mad that I snuck out” Connor blanked. 

“Oh no, I’m pissed” Cynthia chuckled. “But, you have a little sister who said she helped you sneak out. And considering your reason for sneaking out, I won’t punish you. Evan, it’s good to see you.” 

“You too Cynthia” Evan grinned. 

Connor watched as the moms started talking about politics. Connor took his meds and pretended to listen. Connor stole a glance at Evan and noticed how the shorter boy was staring at his feet. Evan’s hands were clenched into fists and he was shaking. Connor reached out and watched a memory play across his vision.

 

Evan was talking with a man who had his nose. The man got angry for some reason, and yanked Evan behind a building. Evan was kicked to the ground as the man repeatedly stomped on Evan’s back. 

 

“Connor” Cynthia frowned. “Your eyes were purple. What’s wrong?” 

Connor pressed his hand to Evan’s back and the boy flinched. 

“Who was that guy” Connor demanded. 

“What are you talking about” Evan mumbled. 

“The guy who kicked you” Connor demanded. 

“What” Heidi jumped. 

“I don’t want to talk about it” Evan whispered. 

“Ev” Connor sighed. “Please.” 

“No” Evan frowned. “It’s my fault.”

“Evan” Heidi cooed. “Please.” 

“I said I don’t want to talk about it” Evan hissed. “It’s my fault. Now is not the time. Don’t worry about it.” 

Evan took off from the counter and went back to his room. Connor went after him and found his boyfriend curled up in a ball. Connor wrapped Evan in a hug in an attempt to calm him down. 

“Talk to me Evangreen” Connor begged. 

“My dad” Evan sobbed. “It was my dad.”

Chapter Text

Evan was a mess. Okay, he was always a mess, but this was different. Evan went into a panic attack just thinking about what had happened, and then he disassociated for four hours. Evan just laid on his bed and didn’t even know that four hours had passed. When he finally snapped out of it Evan checked his clock and stumbled down the stairs. 

“Evan” Heidi’s voice called. 

“Did I pass out or something” Evan mumbled. 

“Disassociation” Heidi explained. “It’s different for everyone.” 

“Evan” Connor’s voice cried, sliding into the room. 

Evan perked up at Connor’s voice. The taller teen crashed into Evan’s arms and spun him around. 

“You two are adorable” Heidi chuckled. 

“I’m sorry” Evan whispered. 

“It’s okay” Connor shushed. “Can we talk about what happened?” 

“Please baby” Heidi begged. 

Evan nodded slowly and let his boyfriend sit him down on the couch, Heidi on his other side. 

“He contacted me” Evan started. “Saying we should catch up. I agreed to meet him. While we were out eating lunch I told him I was bi and had a boyfriend. He dragged me to the back of the building and...yeah.” 

“Heidi” Connor sighed. “If I go to prison will you defend me?” 

“You...why?” 

“Imma go and kill that man” Connor announced. 

“No” Evan cried. “No killing!” 

“Can I at least put him in a coma” Connor whined. 

“No!” 

“I need some time to think of what to do” Heidi mumbled. “I’ll be back in a bit, I’m going on a walk.” 

Heidi embraced her son before pulling on a jacket and going out. Evan crawled into Connor’s arms and let the taller of the two hold him. 

“I love you” Evan whispered. 

“I love you too Evangreen” Connor murmured. “More than anything.” 

Evan quickly kissed Connor before snuggling into his chest. It would always feel like home.

“Heathers” Connor hummed, pulling up the movie. 

“Please” Evan nodded. “It’s been a long day.” 

Evan let the warmth of Connor and the familiar banter of the movie lull him to sleep. He would always be safe with Connor around. 

 -+-

Connor held Evan close as the shorter boy rested. He couldn’t imagine Larry being that awful towards him or Zoe. Connor enjoyed watching the movie, but wish Evan had been up since he usually would hum the musical songs the whole time. Heidi returned home about an hour after she left and walked over to the boys. 

“Thank you for watching him” Heidi whispered. “He doesn’t need to be alone right now.” 

“Of course Heidi” Connor smiled. “I kinda owe it to him after...what I did.” 

“Everyone has moments like that honey” Heidi shushed. “You don’t wanna drag people down, trust me, I’ve been there. At one point I considered giving Evan up for adoption, right before his father left. It was just getting so bad...I didn’t want to put him through it anymore.” 

Heidi placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder and he felt his eyes flash purple. 

 

It was Evan’s room, the boy himself had to be around six or seven. He was crying. Heidi ran from the side of the room and went to comfort her child. 

“What’s wrong honey” Heidi cooed. 

“Is there another truck coming to our driveway tomorrow” Evan sobbed. “A truck that will take mommy away?” 

Heidi grabbed Evan’s hand and squeezed it. She pulled Evan into a hug and rubbed his back. 

“There’s not going to ever be another truck in the driveway” Heidi whispered. “Mom isn’t going anywhere. Mom is staying right here. Your mom isn’t going anywhere, she’s gonna stay right here no matter what. I’ll always be here honey.” 

Heidi flipped on the night light in the corner where his desk was today, she walked back over to Evan and climbed into bed next to him. 

“I got you Ev” Heidi murmured. 

“Night mommy” Evan yawned, curling up close to his mother. 

“Night honey” Heidi smiled. 

 

“What did you see” Heidi groaned. 

“Probably the night Evan’s dad left” Connor sighed. “I’m sorry.” 

“You don’t really control it hon” Heidi chuckled. “It’s okay. I’ll make lunch.” 

Heidi left the room and Connor went back to petting Evan’s hair. The boy stirred and made a strange noise as he stretched. Evan opened his eyes and smiled at Connor. 

“Wasn’t even an hour Ev” Connor murmured. 

Evan nodded before putting his head down again. 

“You’re warm” Evan purred. 

“Okay” Connor laughed. “Someone’s cuddly.” 

Evan gave Connor a look before tightening his grip on him. 

“You bet your ass I am” Evan sighed, resting his head on Connor’s chest. 

Connor went back to running his hand through Evan’s soft hair and rubbing his back with the other hand. 

“Boys” Heidi called. “Lunch!” 

Evan whined in protest, but got up. Connor followed his boyfriend and made sure to tease him while they ate. Not in a sexual way! Jeez, some people need to get their brains out of the gutter. 

Heidi had made mac n cheese and hotdogs because she was too lazy to do anything else. Evan dropped his spoon on accident and shot a vine out of his hand to grab it. 

“Need me to feed you” Connor asked. 

“I’m seventeen” Evan protested. “I don’t need help.” 

 Connor proceeded to steal the spoon and shove a spoonful of mac n cheese to Evan’s lips. Evan reluctantly opened his mouth and let Connor feed him. Heidi burst out laughing from across the table, making Evan blush. 

“You two are so adorable” Heidi laughed. 

“I try” Connor chuckled. “Hey, Ev. C’mon, we love you.” 

“Love you guys too” Evan huffed, stealing his spoon back. 

Connor kept nudging Evan’s foot with his own while they ate. Evan nudged back a bit harder. Connor nudged again even harder. That’s when Evan kicked him. 

“Shit” Connor jumped, sliding out of his chair and onto the floor. 

“Are you okay” Evan laughed. 

“You kicked me asshole” Connor cried. 

“You started it.” 

“You kicked me!” 

“I can do worse” Evan warned, having a vine wrap around Connor’s wrist. 

Connor stared at the vine, then up to Evan again before going back to the vine. 

“Choose your next words wisely Murphy” Evan smirked. 

“You’re an asshole” Connor said. “But I love you.” 

Evan released the vine and went back to his food. Connor smiled at his boyfriend before following suit. Connor wrapped his leg around Evan’s and that seemed to make him happy. 

“Are you two going to the winter carnival dance” Heidi asked. 

“The what” Connor blanked. 

“Our school holds a dance after break” Evan explained. “I went freshman year and had a panic attack in the bathroom and had Jared calm me down.” 

“Well, I heard that you two were nominated for winter royalty” Heidi explained. “You should go.” 

“Who would nominate us” Connor snorted. “Everyone is scared of me, and people actually pick on Evan for doing otherwise.” 

“Must have been a good amount for you to be in the final six” Heidi shrugged. 

“Or me and Connor are the only proudly open gay couple in school” Evan pointed out. “There is others, but me and Connor are the ones who embrace it.” 

“Either way you should go” Heidi hummed. “According to your school website it’s next Friday.” 

“Mom, that’s just extra money that would be spent. I don’t need t-” 

“Evan” Heidi laughed. “How many times have you not ate when I gave you money?” 

Connor saw Evan’s face burn up and grabbed the other boy’s hand. 

“I’ve saved the money, cause I still expected you to use it” Heidi explained. “It should be enough to get you a suit if you go.” 

“Maybe Connor doesn’t want to go” Evan cried. 

“Evan, wanna go to winter carnival with me?” 

Evan rolled his eyes and nodded his head. 

“We can go shopping later this weekend” Connor offered. “I’m sure Lana and Zo are gonna go together, so why not just tag along?”

“Kay” Evan sighed, stabbing his hotdog. 

Connor turned Evan’s head to face him and smushed the boy’s cheeks together with one hand. 

“Repeat after me” Connor smiled. “I am a guppy.” 

“‘M a guppy” Evan slurred. 

“Guppy don’t smile.” 

“Guppy don’t smile.” 

“But I do.” 

But I do.” 

“See?” 

“See?” 

Connor gave a big grin and Evan attempted to copy, causing him to look ridiculous. Connor burst out laughing with Heidi and Evan swatted Connor with his arm. Connor pecked Evan’s cheek and smiled at how his face turned red. It was a good day. 

+

Connor couldn’t get that feeling out of his head. He wanted to hurt himself. He had no reason to be thinking like that, he just got out of the hospital and things were turning out okay. He didn’t need to feel that way. 

Connor had removed his bandages before going to Evan’s the night prior and hadn’t liked seeing the gashing scars. Evan either hadn’t seen or didn’t speak up. Connor couldn’t have been more thankful. 

Connor was sitting on his bathroom floor. It was late, he knew that. He shouldn’t want to hurt himself. But he did. Connor flipped the razor around in his hand and watched it. It would be so easy. He could end it. No one would expect another attempt this soon. Connor felt the tears running down his face and took in a deep breath. It was band new and super sharp, it would be so easy. 

“MOM” Connor screamed, throwing the razor out of his grasp. 

Connor curled up into a ball and gasped for air. He shouldn’t feel this way he didn’t need it! Connor felt the light flip on and Cynthia’s arms around him. 

“Honey” Cynthia cooed. “What happened.” 

“I wanted to hurt myself” Connor cried, clinging to Cynthia. 

“Did you?” 

Connor shook his head no and pointed to the corner where the razor had landed. Cynthia picked it up and threw it in the sink. 

“The meds aren’t working” Connor sobbed. “They only make me tired. It doesn’t help! I don’t deserve to feel like this, I just got out of the hospital!” 

“Connor” Cynthia snapped. “You are okay. You did so well. You got me up, you didn’t hurt yourself. You’re getting better Connor. It’s okay.” 

“Mom, what’s going on” Zoe squeaked. 

“Stay with Connor for a few minutes” Cynthia commanded. “We’re going to the doctor. I need to get dressed.” 

“Are you-” 

“Nothing happened” Cynthia assured. “Just stay with him for a few minutes. 

Zoe sat down next to Connor and hugged his arm. Connor heard her sniffling and it just made him feel worse. 

“I think the universe is on my side” Zoe hummed. “Heaven and earth have finally aligned. Days are good, and that’s the way it should be.” 

“You sprinkle stardust on my pillowcase” Connor sniffed, looking up. “It’s like a moon wing brushed across my face. Nights are good, and that’s the way it should be.” 

“Did you see that shooting star tonight” the two sang softly. “Were you dazzled by the same constilation? Did you and Jupiter conspire to get me? I think you and the moon and Neptune got it right, cause now I’m shining bright.” 

“So bright” Zoe harmonized. 

“Bright, so bright.” 

“And I get lost in your eyes.” 

“Tonight” the two finished. 

Connor gave Zoe’s hand a squeeze. 

“I’m sorry Zoe” Connor whispered. 

“It’ll be okay” Zoe said. “It has to.” 

Cynthia cape back into the room and Zoe was relieved or her duty. Connor pulled a hoodie on over his shirt and followed Cynthia to the car. His fingers still itched with the feeling. 

The doctors trip wasn’t as bad as expected. Connor explained what had happened and he was told to start going to therapy more and they switched his meds again. The new ones only side effect was a small chance of spacing out at random times. Connor took the pill on the way home and decided to sleep on the couch for the rest of the night. All the Murphy’s agreed not to bring it up again. 

-+-

Evan stepped out of the car with Zoe and Connor. They agreed to let Zoe drive until Connor could. Evan walked into the building and split up from Connor to grab his books. Of course he was greeted with Kyle and Cooper when he closed his locker. 

“I’m surprised he isn’t limping yet” Kyle tsked. “Maybe Murphy was nice and went easy for once.” 

“Why can’t you assholes leave me alone” Evan grumbled, trying to get past. 

“You don’t get to talk to us like that faggot” Kyle spat. 

“I love how you guys make fun of me for dating Connor” Evan laughed. “Cooper, weren’t you the one giving one of the wrestelers a blow job a few weeks ago?” 

Coopers eyes widened and Kyle turned on him. Evan walked away and let them sort out their issues. Zoe ran over and squeezed Evan’s arm. 

“That was amazing” Zoe cried. “Nice job Evan!” 

“I went out with Cooper for a week in middle school” Connor recalled. “I dumped him because he cheated on me with a cheerleader.” 

“That must have sucked” Evan hummed, grabbing Connor’s hand. 

“It worked out” Connor shrugged, kissing Evan’s forehead. 

“I’m really glad you two are together” Zoe smiled. “You both needed someone to understand.” 

“Where the hell is Jared” Connor asked. “Usually he’s calling us gay by now.” 

“Oh, his surgery is today” Evan explained. “He blew up my phone about it last night.” 

“Hope it goes well” Connor hummed. “Zoe?” 

The younger Murphy looked over and met Connor’s eye. Evan had noticed that something had been different between them today. 

“Thanks for last night” Connor smiled. 

“What happened” Evan demanded. 

“Nothing” Zoe assured. 

Evan wanted to pout, but he knew better than to mess with the Murphy siblings if they wanted to keep a secret. Evan walked to class with Connor and rested his head on his boyfriend’s shoulder. 

“I love you” Evan hummed, lacing their fingers together. 

“I love you too Evangreen” Connor murmured.

Chapter Text

Connor showed up at school late. He had a therapy appointment that morning. It was Friday, and the others planned on shopping for the school dance. Connor handed over his note to the office and slipped off to class. 

Connor took a worksheet from the pile in the back of the room and started working. He felt someone poke him and he glanced up. Oh, he forgot that Alana was his deskmate. 

“How was therapy?” Alana asked. 

“I don’t like talking about it with other people,” Connor mumbled. “Zoe took Evan to school?” 

“Yeah,” Alana nodded. “Oh, you don’t have to do the back side of the paper.” 

Connor took note and continued the front. Connor liked therapy, he got to talk about his issues and squish the red stress ball that they had set out for him, it was even shaped like an apple. Dr. Sherman was great. Sometimes Connor got to touchy subjects, but he was usually cool with his denial of talking about them. The most common question was why he was so isolated. Maybe because Connor could sense emotions and had antennas? I don’t know, what do you think Karen?

Connor finished his paper in time for the bell and rushed off to find Evan. He just really wanted a hug. Connor usually needed a hug from Evan and his mom after therapy. He already got one from his mom. Connor was so focused on getting to Evan’s locker that he barely noticed that the boy in question had appeared at his side. 

“Connie?”

Connor froze and turned to Evan. He hadn’t been called that since before their first date. “What?” 

“You said I could call you Connie if I lasted four months,” Evan shrugged. “It’s been four months. Today.” 

It was their anniversary too? Connor’s gift was at home! Ugh! He had spent ages on it. “Right, I’ve got your gift at home.” 

Evan blushed a bit at the mention of the gift, their gifts had been more of a sentimental thing. One month in Connor let Evan see his scars, two months they didn’t do anything, three Evan gave Connor a simple ring that Connor wore every day on his middle finger while Connor gave Evan a blowjob. Evan had asked for that mind you, with lots of stuttering and a bit of a panic. Now they were at four. Time was flying by too quickly. 

“Oh, thanks,” Evan blushed. “Uh...I have yours if you want it?” 

“Give it to me when we go shopping,” Connor offered. “I need my post therapy hug.” 

Evan lit up and squeezed Connor tight. Best feeling ever. Connor tilted Evan’s head up and kissed him quickly before having them step apart. Connor watched Evan grab his stuff for his next class and they walked together. “I love you, Evan.” 

“I love you too,” Evan grinned.

-

Connor hadn’t been allowed to see the suit Evan chose. So obviously in turn he didn’t let Evan see his. The girls were taking longer with their shopping than the two powered boys, so they went off to find food. 

“I can’t remember the last time we just went out,” Evan chuckled, wrapping his hand in Connor’s. 

“We aren’t very social people,” Connor nodded. “It’s usually just us hanging out at one of our houses.” 

“Yeah,” Evan sighed. “Why are you so great?” 

“I’m really not,” Connor snorted. “Just wanna get some fries?” 

“And ice cream,” Evan gasped. 

“Of course you dork,” Connor smiled, planting a kiss on Evan’s forehead. “I’ll order, you find a table. Kay?” 

“Okie,” Evan giggled, he turned and met eyes with someone, “Jared’s up and about finally, I’ll go sit with him. I didn’t think he’d be here...”

Connor watched Evan walk off and Connor ordered their food. He felt someone staring at him and Connor looked up. No fucking way. Connor averted his gaze and grabbed the food when it was ready. Connor found Evan talking with Jared and he plopped down next to his boyfriend. 

“Connor,” Jared greeted. 

“Kleinman,” Connor nodded. “Feeling better?”

 “It’s weird,” Jared chuckled. “I...it’s completely behind me now. I don’t have to worry about it ever again. I’m...really happy.” 

“You deserve it,” Connor assured, handing Evan the fries and his ice cream. 

Evan gasped, “I love you!” 

“Yeah, love you too Evan,” Connor grinned. 

“You two gonna have mind blowing sex for your anniversary?” Jared joked. 

Evan went red, “No! We’ve only done that once! Jared! That’s gross!” 

“Might I remind you that you’re the one-” Connor was cut off by Evan slapping a hand over his mouth. 

“Kinky,” Jared snorted. 

Evan put his hand down and looked at his fries like they were his enemy. 

“Hey, Connor,” a voice called. Connor looked up and could have slapped a bitch. Miguel. Connor watched the teen sit across from him, next to Jared. “Gonna introduce me to your friends? I didn’t realize you could have any.” 

“Hey, fuck off,” Jared frowned. 

“Jared, calm down,” Connor sighed. “Evan, Jared, this is Miguel. Miguel, my boyfriend Evan and his buddy Jared.” 

“Oh, so they get titles and I don’t?” 

“You don’t deserve a fucking title.” 

“After everything I did for you?” 

“I got expelled for you!” 

“And you didn’t accept my thanks.” 

Connor must have looked pissed, because he felt Evan’s hand wrap in his. 

“What title would you even get?” Jared asked. “Total dick?” 

“I was at least expecting Connor to clarify what I am to him,” Miguel sighed. “Good talk Murphy.” 

Miguel walked away and Connor let out a sigh. 

“Who was that?” Evan asked. 

“Ex,” Connor whispered. “It ended badly.” 

“He gets the total dick title,” Jared decided. “I’m gonna let you two have some couple time or whatever. Lush is calling my name.” 

“Don’t eat another bathbomb,” Evan groaned, watching Jared get up and leave. 

“Love the cronch!” Jared boomed, walking towards the store. 

“Did you, uh, want your gift?” Evan whispered, holding up his backpack. 

“Sure,” Connor grinned, pecking Evan’s cheek. 

Connor watched Evan fumble with the zipper on the bag before pulling out a book. He handed the book to Connor and put his bag back down next to Connor’s.

The front of the book had both his and Evan’s names wrote on it. Connor opened the book and smiled. A scrap book about them. There were pictures from the summer of both of them, before they were together. The next page was pictures of when they first became friends, talking at lunch, working on homework, a few with Jared or Zoe in the corner. The page after had one of them on the couch with Evan and his flower crown. The day of their first kiss. Apparently they had been well photographed. 

It went on, their first date, Evan’s cast coming off, the Halloween party, everything. There was one picture, clearly taken by Cynthia, where Evan was in his tree form and Connor had his kinda super creepy doll eyes. But otherwise a lot of pictures showed his antennas or Evan with some plant on him. The book was far from full, lots of space was still in it. But the last picture that Connor saw was of the rose. And it was perfect. 

“Ev...” Connor whispered. “It’s amazing.” 

“And I’m gonna keep filling it,” Evan added. “So you have to check on it every once and a while because it’ll get more pictures.” 

“God, I am so glad I pushed you,” Connor murmured. 

“I’m glad you apologized,” Evan giggled. 

“How’s it going?” Zoe’s voice hummed, sitting in place of Jared. “Evan? You gave him the book?” 

“Yeah,” Evan nodded. 

“I talked with the shop owner,” Alana said. “Our fittings should be done by Monday, so I’ll pick everyone’s things up and deliver them.” 

“Thanks Lani,” Zoe grinned. 

“It’s not your anniversary, go away,” Connor whined. 

Zoe rolled her eyes and pulled Alana away with her. Connor turned his attention back to Evan, who was dipping his fries into his ice cream before eating them. 

“Anything else you wanna do today?” Connor asked, kissing his cheek.

Evan shook his head and leaned against Connor. "Just wanna be with you. Only you."

 "Really? Jared did make a good point about the mind blowing sex thing, and I know Heidi has class tonight so..."

 "No," Evan scrunched up his nose. "I don't...you know I don't like doing that very much. Maybe once and a while, but not tonight."

 "I know," Connor assured. Connor's brain had a thought and he had to say it. "Have you ever thought that you might be asexual?"

 Evan blinked a bit. "I mean...I've thought about it once or twice. What made you think that?"

 Connor shrugged, "Just how you act. I mean, yeah, you've got your moments, but...I dunno."

 "Cause I don't like having sex a lot? I mean...it's okay. I guess maybe I could be? I don't think I've ever been attracted to you sexually, I love you, always, but...I dunno. I've been so sure that I was bi for so long I just...I don't know."

 "There is such thing as being biromantic," Connor offered. 

Connor sat and watched Evan ponder it over the remainder of his food. Connor saw a hint of brown at the end of Evan's fingers, so he knew he was thinking hard.

 "...It makes sense," Evan declared. "And asexuals can like sex, so yeah, I'm ace."

 "Lets go to Hot Topic and get you a flag, I was gonna get some new pins soon anyway," Connor pulled Evan towards the store and winked at his sister as she exited another store near by.

They didn't find any full sized flags but Evan got a patch and a button with the ace flag and Connor found a pin that said IDGAF and one that said 1-800-Go Away.

"A Slytherin shirt!" Evan gasped.

Evan grabbed the shirt and Connor grabbed a Ravenclaw shirt in his size. He grabbed one for Alana too, a Gryffindor shirt for Zoe, and a Hufflepuff shirt for Jared.

"I think we can say this was a successful shopping trip," Connor hummed, walking up to the counter.

"Yeah," Evan nodded.

-+-

Evan sat with Connor in his living room as they watched old Disney movies together. They had a bowl of candy between them, and a blanket draped over their shoulders.

"Hey guys," Heidi called, walking in the front door.

"Hey Heidi," Connor replied.

"Hi Mom!"

Heidi walked behind the couch and ruffled both boys hair before walking into the kitchen. "Connor, Cynthia said that she'll be here to pick you up around noon tomorrow, kay?"

"Okay, thanks Heidi," Connor nodded, placing the candy bowl on the coffee table and pulling Evan into his lap. Connor didn't want it any other way.

Chapter Text

Connor was anxious. He was very anxious. He had made a dumb decision and now he was worried.

"Connor, you look fine," Cynthia assured for the umpteenth time in the past five minutes. "Evan will be here soon, just relax."

"You're sure it looks okay?"

"Yes, now calm down," Cynthia finished the tie and nodded to him. "Maybe put the antennas away?"

Connor did as asked and glanced at his nails. It was taking everything not to pick at them. He was anxious. He didn't want to go the the winter formal, but he had to because he was nominated for royalty. UGH!

The doorbell rang and Connor watched his mother rush to the door. Heidi and Evan were on the other side. They walked in and Evan took one glance at Connor beofore rushing over.

"You cut your hair!" Evan cried, running his fingers through the now short locks of hair.

"I know!" Connor groaned. "I wasn't thinking!"

"It still looks good," Evan assured. Connor was given a peck on the cheek before he heard the doorbell again. Alana walked in and waved at the two boys.

"Hey Lana," Evan waved.

Zoe came down the stairs and crashed into Alana's arms. One of Alana's dads was talking with Heidi and Cynthia.

"Pictures!" Heidi announced.

The four kids arranged themselves in different directions and poses for the next fifteen minutes before Zoe demanded they get going. Alana took shotgun and the boys piled in the back. Once they arrived they were cornered by their new principal.

"Evan, Connor," she pulled them off to the side. "I am so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" Connor asked.

"It is not okay that they nominated Evan as queen," she explained. "I was going to speak with you two earlier, but I got caught up with the semester ending and finals next week."

"But I am a queen," Evan whispered into Connor's shoulder. It took a lot of effort to not laugh.

"Not to worry," the principal assured. "I have it figured out. I solved the issue. I will see you two in a few minutes."

She vanished as quick as she came. Connor shrugged and grabbed Evan's hand and they walked into the gym. Alana and Zoe were with a few of their friends, including Jared, but the two boys just chilled against the wall.

-+-

"Alright," the principal called into the microphone. "Will our three royalty nominee couples please come up here."

Evan looked up to Connor and they locked fingers before going up. Evan was expecting a tiara for whoever was crowned queen, but they were gender neutral. Was that the issue? He just stood a bit closer to Connor and looked down.

"This year, we are doing things a bit differently," the principal said. "Alana Beck, our student council president, will help we distribute the crowns. This year, we are doing first, second, and third place royalty.

Oh. That was smart. Evan just blocked everything out. He didn't listen as they announced third place. He heard clapping and saw the couple on his right with crowns on their heads. Oh god.

"Now, we move onto our first place royalty," the principal said. "Alana, you can do the honors."

Alana grabbed the envelope and plastered a smile. "Our first place royalty is..."

"GET ON WITH IT BABE!" Zoe was screaming up at Alana.

"Drum roll, please." Alana was smiling at Zoe.

The students started stomping their feet on the gym floor.

"Aw!" Alana smiled at the paper. "The first place royalty is Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy!"

Alana grabbed the crowns and placed them on the boys head. Evan grinned at Connor. Was this real?

 The other couple was crowned with them and the three groups walked down, Zoe crashing into them.

"I'm so proud of you," Zoe squealed.

"Thanks."

Oh no.

"Con?"

Connor let go of Evan's hand and walked away.

"I'll find him," Evan assured, following his boyfriend.

Connor ended up outside. Evan approached him slowly and grabbed his hand.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know..."

"What should we do?"

"Your birthday is Tuesday, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Can we go somewhere?"

Evan smiled, "Sure."

"No, I mean like, a trip. A big trip. Road trip. You and me."

"On my birthday?"

"Yes. We'll both be adults and then it'll be easier. I won't get in trouble for kidnapping you."

"Uh, sure," Evan smiled at Connor.

"I don't like school Evan."

"Yeah, it sucks."

"So...I should start packing?"

"Yes."

"Wanna go home?"

"Yeah. No, let's go to your house."

Evan stretched up and planted a kiss on Connor's cheek, "Okay. Let's go."

-+-

Cynthia wasn't very pleased with Connor's decision to have a trip in the middle of the school year.

"Mom, come on."

"Education is important!"

"Enroll me in online school!"

Cynthia met Connor's gaze, "Why do you want this so bad?"

"I need out, okay. I need a break."

Cynthia rubbed her temple, "Evan will be with?"

"Yes."

"You'll call?"

"Yes."

"Education?"

"If you sign me up."

"...Fine."

"Hey, I could have manipulated you into saying yes," Connor offered.

"Ugh, I honestly forget about that all the time," Cynthia sighed. "Call, okay?"

"Okay."

-+-

Evan was nervous. This was his last class. He had enough credits to graduate early, so he was taking it. Evan had officially finished high school, and now he was going on a road trip with his boyfriend.

"Dude," Jared muttered. "You're seriously leaving me?"

"Yes," Evan wrapped Jared in a hug. "We'll be back."

The bell rang and Evan grabbed his backpack. He just had to drop it off at home and then he and Connor could leave.

"Ready?"

Evan turned and smiled at Connor. "Yeah."

The two laced their fingers together and walked out of the building.

-

They hadn't been on the road for an hour when Zoe called. Evan answered the FaceTime call and tried to not look awkward.

"Where are you?" Zoe asked. Alana and Jared were in the camera frame with her.

"We're going to California," Connor called from his seat.

"We're gonna visit Jeremy and Michael to start the trip," Evan explained.

"Oh, no fair!" Jared cried. "Tell them I say hi."

"We will," Evan assured.

"I swear if you two run off and don't return I'll beat you," Zoe chided.

"Yeah, like they'd just up and elope," Jared snorted.

"Why not," Connor asked.

"Connor, that is a horrible idea," Alana said.

"They're totally gonna do it now," Zoe groaned.

"Yep, definitely," Evan laughed. "Bye!"

He hung up before they could say anything else.

"Are we planning on never coming back?" Connor asked.

"No," Evan assured. "But, I love you. So much. And..."

"Yes, I'll marry you Evan."

Evan felt the flower crown form on his head. "Thanks."

Connor let out his antennas. "Any time."

Chapter Text

Connor and Evan returned home around spring break that year before leaving again and never going back.

 

Connor felt Evan shift on top of him. He heard a knock at the door and he opened his eyes.

"Babe."

"Hmm?"

"Ev, they're here. Get up."

"No."

"Get off me then."

"...No."

Connor rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Evan's back, "Wake up," he whispered, sensing his eyes changing color.

Evan sat up, "I hate when you do that."

"They came early, we have to go."

"Alright, I'm moving."

Connor got up and changed quickly before running to the front door. He opened it and tried to seem like he was awake himself.

"Connor!"

The man was tackled by his sister and he grunted. "Hi."

"Wow, you haven't changed at all," Jared laughed, walking in.

Alana, Heidi, and Cynthia followed Jared inside. Zoe got off of Connor and he stood.

"Well, you'd be surprised," Connor laughed. "Hey Heidi."

"Hi Connor."

Connor wrapped his mother in a hug.

"Oh, honey I missed you," she whispered.

"Missed you too."

"Sorry I'm late," Evan called walking into the room. Connor was handed his meds and a cup of coffee.

"Oh damn, he has a beard," Jared whispered.

"Nice to see you too," Evan mumbled. "...Hi Mom."

Heidi crashed into Evan's arms, "Hey bud."

"So, how's the past six years been?" Zoe asked.

"Good," Connor grinned. "And you?"

"Good."

"Well, when you said you had a house I didn't realize that meant you had a nice house," Jared laughed. "What jobs did you land?"

"Well...I have a few titles," Connor laughed. He took off his jacket and heard the group, excluding Evan, gasp.

"Connor Murphy when did you get a tattoo?" Alana asked.

"Uh...Ev, help me out."

"About two years ago," Evan shrugged.

"About two years ago," Connor concluded, looking at his arm. He had gotten a sleeve, and he liked it.

"So, job?" Zoe perked up.

"Oh, right," Connor chuckled. "Well, I'm a librarian."

Jared snorted, "Really? Where?"

"A high school."

"He's also the guidance counselor," Evan added.

"I kinda have a way of understanding peoples emotions," Connor mumbled. "At least I finished college."

Evan elbowed him, "I'm going back in the fall!"

"I refuse to believe that you two are managing on a teachers pay," Heidi frowned.

"Well, Evan kinda has a business," Connor said.

"Really?" Cynthia grinned.

"Yeah," Evan smiled.

"Evan Hansen, you are not a business man," Jared laughed.

"Well, I kinda own the best flower shop in the city," Evan mumbled. "So you don't know anything."

"It's really popular," Connor added.

Heidi wrapped her son in another hug, "I'm proud of you honey," she whispered.

"Did you two get married or not?" Alana asked.

"Yeah, about five years ago," Connor laughed.

"It's not a big deal," Evan sighed.

Cynthia smiled at them, "Who changed their last name?"

Evan pointed to Connor.

"Okay, enough about us," Connor smiled. "What have you guys been up to."

"Work," Cynthia shrugged.

"School," Alana said.

"Work," Zoe offered.

"Same," Jared nodded.

"I started dating again," Heidi explained, "But work too."

"Who are you dating?" Evan asked.

"His name is Lance, he's around my age, and he's got a son who's Zoe's age named Jeremy."

"Wait," Jared gasped. "Oh my god! Lance is Jeremy Heere's dads name!"

"You know him?" Heidi chuckled.

"Yes!" Jared cried. "We've been friends for years!"

"Oh, well I wish I had known," Heidi squeezed Jared's hand.

"He's a good guy," Evan nodded.

"Well, anyone else got any news?" Connor asked, glancing around the room. "Because I know Evan has to check on the shop before noon."

"Ooh, I just started dating Cooper," Jared grinned.

"Didn't he beat Evan up in high school?" Zoe wondered aloud.

"Maybe," Jared squeaked. "But he's better now."

"He was cool when I dated him, for the most part," Connor shrugged.

Jared smiled, "It's not too serious yet. Don't worry."

"But seriously, I've gotta go," Evan babbled. "Kallie's opening today, she's the new girl."

"Let's all go," Cynthia offered. "We'll follow you."

Connor nodded and pulled on his shoes. Evan followed him out the door, and Connor saw the grass brighten up as Evan walked by, it was the little things that made him smile.

 Connor drove, since Evan still didn't enjoy traffic in the city. The shop wasn't huge, but Evan loved it, and Connor loved the atmosphere.

Connor saw his friends and family gasp when they walked in. It was full of flowers and other plants. Kallie, the new girl, was clearly relieved to see her bosses.

"Hi Mr. and Mr. Hansen!" Kallie called. "I've got orders listed, but couldn't find anything in storage. Pick up is tomorrow for a lot of them. And we've got to get three dozen of the blue roses for a wedding next week."

"Good work," Evan nodded, taking her list. "I'll see to the flowers. Just set up a pick up date for the roses."

Connor watched his husband vanish into the back room and he introduced his family to Kallie and the other girl on staff, Carly.

"Where did Evan go?" Jared asked.

"Back room," Connor explained. "We can go back."

The back room was like a maze. Flowers were everywhere, tables in one corner for the break room. Connor just accepted that his husband was horrible at organizing. At least when it came to flowers.

Evan himself was currently behind a group of ferns growing the flowers that they ran out of. Connor was just thankful that Alana knew what was so special about the two, so no one really questioned the stems growing out of Evans hands.

"Evan," Heidi laughed. "It's a mess in here honey."

"I know."

"Evan, you're 24 years old," Heidi sighed. "You should be able to handle some flowers."

"It's a fucking rain forest in here," Jared commented.

An orange was thrown at Jared's head. Evan didn't look up as he tossed the fruit at his friend.

"What about us," Zoe gasped.

Fruit sprouted from Evan's hand and Connor threw it at his sister.

"It this cannibalism?" Cynthia asked.

Zoe dropped her pear.

"Uh, no, this is magic," Evan decided.

Zoe picked the pear back up.

"Alright, everything should be good for the rest of the day," Evan smiled.

Connor brushed a petal from Evan's wrist before walking out of the room, his family in tow. They big Kallie and Carly farewell and went back home. Connor had missed his family, yes, but he was glad that his life was finally stable enough for him to handle them.

"Love you Evangreen," Connor whispered.

"Love you too Connie," Evan grinned, pecking his husbands cheek.