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Never be the same

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When she first met Lauren, Camila was fifteen years old, and a clumsy jumpy mess. The older girl wished her good luck, but she was so nervous she didn’t reply nor remember that. The first memory of Lauren she has is the moment she heard her sing, auditioning in front of the judges in The X Factor, a cover of “If I ain’t got you” by Alicia Keys, and her voice was husky and deep. Wow she tough, the competition will be rough this year. Despite that, she felt the need to know the girl behind that powerful voice. The performance soon ended, and minutes later, she saw the girl getting off of backstage and she tough wow she’s beautiful too. She had the greenest eyes Camila had ever seen, long dark and messy hair. The girl and her family sit near her and start talking in Spanglish. She sees her mom chatting excitedly with who seems to be the girl’s mom. The girl approaches her, and opens her mouth, but Camila is quicker:
“I like your shirt, it’s pretty” she says. The girl smiles, her face covered in tears. “your eyes too” she adds.
“thank you, yours too” she girl responses. “Have you auditioned yet?”
Camila, who was calming down, distracted by the girl’s voice, gets nervous again. She moves her head for both sides, saying no.
“I’m Lauren Jauregui.” she says, pronouncing her last name in Spanish.
“I’m Camila Cabello. Karla, actually, but I go by Camila. Karla Camila.” Says the brunette girl, a little too fast.
They hear the adults’ voices quiet down, and notice Lauren’s family is waiting for her.
“I guess I have to go, but good luck.” Says the green-eyed girl, smiling. Then she stands up and walk with her family toward the exit. After a couple of steps, she goes back to Camila and puts a phone in her hand. “if you want, put your number in there, and we can talk. You seem interesting”. Camila is too shy to answer, afraid of the outgoing girl thinking she’s too awkward to be her friend, so she types her number and her name in the phone, and hands it back to Lauren. She can’t brush off the feeling that meeting Lauren somehow sets a before and an after in her life.


“I wish I knew how it feels to kiss somebody” whispers Camila to herself. She’s lying in her hotel bed, which she’s sharing with Lauren. Since they were put in a group together, they have grown really close, and she considers the green-eyed girl her best friend. Of course, she loves everyone of them, they’re like her sisters. Except from Lauren, who she admires in a different way. The older girl seems always a little too cool, too ethereal, too perfect for her. Like Camila wouldn’t deserve her in a million years, no matter what she’d do. But, amazingly, Lauren loved her the most too, she had told her. She would cuddle with her every night and share her bed with her. She would talk with her about everything and nothing at the same time. She always knew what to say to make her feel safe, and worthy. Camila didn’t know what she felt for Lauren, but a year after the sign of their contracts with Epic Records and Syco Music, she knew her feelings weren’t platonic.
“I though you didn’t worry about that anymore.” Camila heard. She turned and saw the older girl’s face close to hers, staring at her.
“Well I don’t worry about that all the time, but I still want to feel it. And I can’t stop thinking that even if I give my first kiss to a guy I like at the moment, if things don’t go well, I’ll regret it. I wish I could just give it to someone special, but not to a crush. I don’t know, forget it. I’m just being stupid. Nevermind, go back to sleep” Camila rambles. The girl next to her laugh a little.
“I get it, Camz. Calm down, you don’t need to get nervous with me, silly” she says.
“I would like it if it was with you” says Camila, quietly, not really wanting Lauren to hear her. The older girl breaths heavily, getting closer to the brunette.
“I could do that. Are you sure?” she asks. Camila nods, and closes her eyes. She feels Lauren’s breath in her lips, and a moment later, a soft pressure in her lips. The kiss doesn’t last for too long, but Camila feels like the luckiest girl in the world for it. Getting kissed by the older girl feels like an enormous privilege. Lauren’s face stays close to her, so close she can feel a smile forming on her lips.
“That was nice. Is this how is supposed to feel to be kissed?” the brunette girl asks. The older girl smile grows even more.
“I don’t know. I didn’t feel like this when I kissed other people in the past. This was new for me too.” She answers. Then, her lips touch Camila’s again, as one of her hands go to the girl’s neck and brings her closer. Her teeth brush against the younger’s lower lip, making her open her mouth and allow Lauren’s tongue inside.
For the second time in her life, she feels like a new Camila has borned. Somehow, Lauren’s kiss changed her forever.
The next few weeks everyone notes Camila is distracted. She keeps missing steps of the choreographies, she doesn’t get the girls jocks, except for Lauren’s. She doesn’t even get mad at Dinah for pranking her. And every night, when they all say goodbye and go to sleep, she seems excited. They don’t notice, though, the green-eyed girl sneaking into Camila’s bunk every night, or her swollen lips every morning. They didn’t notice the purple marks in her and Lauren’s necks, either.


It was fall and they were finally in L.A. after finishing The Reflection Tour. They were starting the recording process of their second album, 7/27. They’ve decided to rent a house for the 5 of them instead of staying in a Hotel, but even then, they would share rooms. Dinah and Normani shared a room, and Ally had claimed the second room by herself, so Camila and Lauren shared the last room. It was Friday and the next day would be their free day. Dinah was in Santa Ana with her family, and the rest of them had decided to stay and go to bed early, after a stressful week.
Camila was already falling asleep, when she felt a soft shake. She opened her eyes and found a pair of green eyes looking directly at her. “hi” she said, groggily.
“hey Camz, get dress, we’re going out.”
She got out of bed, wearing her SpongeBob pajama, and got her long hair in a messy bun. “Do
I have to dress up?” she asked. Lauren softly laughed and nodded. Camila opened a drawer and got a couple of tights, a simple t-shirt and a hoodie. Finally, she put on a couple of converse. “Okay, I’m ready”.
Lauren nodded and then stuck her face out of the door to see if anyone was awake. She made a signal to Camila and then both of them sneaked out of the house and walked to the beach. Lauren had brought a couple of towels and a blanket, which they placed at the sand and sat on it.
“Do you think the girls will be mad when they found out we’re not there?” asked the younger.
“They won’t find out, and if they did they won’t be mad. Don’t worry” the green-eyes girl answered. They stayed there for a couple of minutes, not talking. “Can I kiss you?”
Instead of responding, the Cuban girl put her hands in Lauren’s neck and brought their lips together. The older girl responded placing her hands on her waist, bringing her closer. When they broke apart, Camila was on top of Lauren, and their breaths were erratic. They kissed again, and again, just as they’ve done almost every night for a couple of months. But this time, they didn’t go too far. The younger girl was nervous, so she distanced herself from the other girl a couple of inches and spoke.
“Lauren, what if someone find out?”
“No one will. Why are you so stressed? We snuck out, is not a big deal, Ally does all the time, and so does Normani. Dinah doesn’t, because she’s too nice, but anyway. Calm down, silly.” Lauren replied.
“Still, what if someone saw us? What if someone took pictures? Management will get so mad, we’ll get in so much trouble. The girls will be punished too, you know?” Camila has started rambling, just as she did whenever she panicked, or was too stressed, or anxious.
“Stop, Camz” Lauren stopped her. Camila shut up and looked at her. “They won’t find out, there’s no one here. Besides, what’s life without a little bit of risk? Stop playing it safe, I wanna see you lose control” She added.
Camila knew there were no guarantee that no one could saw them, but also, she wanted to prove Lauren that she was bold, and was willing to live in the edge. After a couple of years of knowing the girl by her side, she still would do anything for the girl’s approval. Maybe now more than before, since she knew she had fell in love with her and desperately wanted her feelings to be reciprocated. So, she kissed her, and then asked the older girl to take her home.
They take a cab, and get to their room trying to be quiet, but walking to fast to be completely silence. They enter their room, and Camila takes of her hoodie at the same time she kicks out her converse. Lauren kisses her vehemently, getting as close as she can with the tanned girl. Her hands wandering in her back, under the clothes, wanting to go further but not daring to cross a limit. Is Camila the one who does it first, raising Lauren’s top above her breast, trying to pull it off. Surprised, she lifts her arms, allowing her. Then, Camila’s hands wander, slowly, down the pale stomach to the high-waisted jeans, opening the button and pulling them down her legs. Finally, kissing Lauren’s neck, she pulls the girl’s body to lay on top of her in the bed.
Now, knowing the younger’s boundaries had just broke, Lauren kisses Camila’s neck, sucking until hearing a soft moan.
“Please, Lo.” She begged, knowing for the third time in her life, that after night, she’ll never be the same. Lauren will have changed her forever.