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Park County Universety AU

Chapter Text




The alert sound of a text message coming in disrupted the silence of the small apartment.



“Hey, guys me n' Buttercup are having a welcoming party at our place you wanna come?”



“Hey Stan, Kenny just sent me a text!” Kyle, the freckled redhead, shouted from inside the kitchen to his raven-haired boyfriend who was currently putting clothes away in their bedroom.



“What's it say?” Stan asked jumping over a few small boxes as he made his way into the kitchen.



“He wants to know if we want to come to the Welcoming Party he and Butters are throwing.” Kyle replied showing Stan the message. “What do you think, wanna go?” he asked glancing at Stan.



“It could be fun.” Stan shrugged nonchalantly. “Did he say what time or to bring anything like snacks or drinks?” he asked scrolling through the texts.



“No. But I can ask.” Kyle responded taking his phone back and typing out a quick text before hitting send.



“What time does it start. Also, Stan wants to know if we should bring any drinks or snacks.”



“Alright now we just gotta see what he says.” Kyle commented placing his phone back on the counter.



“Cool, wanna watch some tv while we wait?” Stan asked grabbing a Sprite from the fridge.



“Did you finish putting our clothes away?” Kyle asked before taking a sip of his Dr. Pepper.



“Yes, mother.” Stan replied rolling his eyes as he flopped down on their grey sofa and switched their tv on.



“I'm not nagging dude it needed to be done.” Kyle commented sitting next to Stan and grabbed the remote.



“Yeah yeah, I know it did and it's done.” Stan replied rolling onto his back and laying his head on Kyle's lap with a yawn.



“Remember the last time Kenny threw a welcoming party?” Kyle asked as he flipped through the tv channels.



“Oh, how could I forget that night.” Stan replied with a giggle.



“Truth or Dare, 7 Minutes In Heaven and drinking…” Kyle said counting each thing off on his fingers. “What a combination.”



“You can say that again.” Stan commented amusedly. “Didn't Cartman end up passed out drunk and naked in the front yard?” he asked with a laugh.



“Ugh, I didn't need to be reminded of that lovely image.” Kyle sarcastically replied cringing at the memory.



“Sorry, Kyle.” Stan said with an apologetic smile. “But, at least a few good things came out of going to that party.” he commented softly.



“Like what?” Kyle asked raising an eyebrow in disbelief.



“Our first kiss.” Stan replied sitting up. “The beginning of our relationship.” he said kissing Kyle's cheek.



“That's true.” Kyle replied quietly. “If I hadn't told Kenny about my crush on you he would never have set up that whole Truth or Dare and 7 Minutes In Heaven thing.” he said blushing.






Suddenly the alert sound of a text message coming in interrupted their conversation.



“Oh, looks like Kenny replied finally.” Stan pointed out.



“Party starts at 8 pm and it'd be great if you guys can bring some chips and booze.”



“He says it starts at 8 and to bring chips and booze.” Kyle commented reading the reply text on the screen.






Another text from Kenny came in.



“A bottle of Fireball and A bottle of Jameson from Stan's private stash would be perfect.”



“Private stash...?” Kyle questioned raising an eyebrow.



“Yeah.” Stan replied rubbing the back of his neck. “I keep two bottles of it under the bed.” he said sheepishly.



“I thought you quit the drinking.” Kyle commented.



“I did...kinda.” Stan replied grabbing his jacket from the back the couch and digging through its pockets.“The “Stash.” as Kenny calls it is just for the occasional drink.” he said finally producing the small flask he'd been looking for before handing it to Kyle.



It was white with a picture of a raven sitting on a tree branch and the word Nevermore in cursive on the front and his name also in cursive on the back in black.



“Oh.” Kyle responded turning the flask around in his hands and studying the elegant cursive writing and detailed drawing of the raven before handing it back.



“So, we cool dude?” Stan asked placing the flask back into his jacket pocket.



“Yeah, we're cool.” Kyle replied with a smile. “So, you willing to part with a bottle from your “Private Stash”?” he asked making finger quotes as he spoke.



“As much as it pains me...yes.” Stan replied playfully. “And we can get some Fireball at the corner store across the street before heading over to Kenny's place.” he said with a smirk.



“Actually, I'm pretty sure Mole and Gregory have some Fireball.” Kyle commented chuckling. “I wonder if Kenny would mind us bringing them along.”



“Ask him!” Stan replied excitedly.



“Do you mind if we bring Mole and Gregory to the party?”






“You mean that crazy French dude and fancypants British guy?”



Stan giggled as he read the text Kenny had sent.



“Yeah, that's them.”






“Sure, Craig n Tweek are gonna be coming too btw. We might as well make this a sausage fest seeing as there's only gonna be like four girls here.”



Stan and Kyle glanced at each other confused.



“Four girls?”






“Yeah, Wendy n Bebe are coming and Clyde and Token’s bringing Red and Nicole.”



“Oh, cool.”






“So, you guys coming?”



Stan and Kyle looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders.



“We don't really have any other plans tonight right?” Kyle asked.



“Not really and this party sounds like fun.” Stan replied with a smile.“Wanna go?”



“Ok, but I'm leaving the minute Cartman tries giving everyone a strip show again.” Kyle said shuddering at the thought.



“We'll be there with chips and whiskey, 8 pm sharp!”






“Awesome! C u then.”



“We should probably shower before we go.” Kyle commented looking at the dirty pajamas he and Stan were wearing.



“Good, idea.” Stan said hopping up off the couch. “You take your shower first, I'll go pick up chips from the corner store and then I'll take mine once I'm back.” he said stripping out of his pajama top on the way to their bedroom.



“Why don't you let me go pick up the chips?” Kyle asked following Stan, picking up the discarded top and tossing it into the dirty clothes hamper.



“Because heaven knows you take FOREVER to fix up your hair after a shower Kyle.” Stan replied matter of factly.



“I thought you liked my hair.” Kyle muttered with a pout.



“I do.” Stan replied walking out of their bedroom in a Captain America t-shirt and faded jeans. “But it doesn't change the fact you take a long time getting ready.” he said lacing up his black sneakers quickly.



“Oh, whatever dude!”Kyle responded laughing at the truth in Stan's comments. “Here.” he said handing Stan the keys to their apartment.



“Thanks.” Stan said pocketing the keys. “I'll be back soon babe. Love you bye.” he commented planting a kiss on Kyle’s cheek before heading toward the door.



“Bye!” Kyle shouted as Stan was closing the door. “Big goofball.” he muttered gathering his clothes and towel, bringing them into the bathroom with him before starting the shower.




Chapter Text

A blonde haired male with sky blue eyes sat on a sofa watching Les Miserables on a small television. His boyfriend another male with dark, messy brunette hair and dark forest green eyes with dark circles under them laying on his back, his head on the blonde’s lap.



“Christophe Darling, you really ought to try and get more sleep at night.” The blonde commented trying to smooth down the brunettes unruly hair gently.



“Eetz not like I ask for ze 'orrible nightmares zhat plague me, Gregory!” Christophe retorted his heavy French accent clear in his voice.



“Of course not.” Gregory replied a fond smile gracing his lips. “But, perhaps if you'd just try the Chamomile Tea I've recommended before bed it'd ease your mind a little.” He said continuing to stroke Christophe's hair softly.



“I've told you before I don't drink tea!” Christophe responded rolling his eyes at the ridiculous notion of himself having a cup of Chamomile Tea before bed.



“Must you be so stubborn about this?” Gregory inquired his blue eyes shining with amusement. “The tea really will help if you just try it.” he commented softly.



“Fine.” Christophe responded with a heavy sigh. “I'll try your tea tonight.” he said smirking up at the blonde.



“Splendid.” Gregory replied smiling back."I'm sure it'll help.” he commented softly.



Suddenly a loud knocking at their door interrupted the quietness of the moment.



“Now hoo zee 'ell could zhat possibly be?” Christophe asked quickly sitting up and pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket.



“I have no idea.” Gregory replied pausing the forgotten movie as he also stood up “I'm sure we weren't expecting company.” he said walking over to the door and opening it.



“Hoo eez at ze door?” Christophe asked lighting the cigarette in his hand and placing it in his mouth before trudging over to the door as well.



“It's Kyle and Stanley.” Gregory replied with a welcoming smile.



Standing just outside the doorway was Stan, holding a bag in one hand and the other smoothing down a bit of his raven hair on the back of his neck which was barely showing under his signature blue and red beanie. He was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, black sneakers, and a brown leather jacket with a red and black Deadpool t-shirt under it.



Next to Stan was Kyle wearing his green Ushanka, a few stray curls of his red hair showing, an orange jacket covering a long-sleeved white and green baseball t-shirt, a pair of black sneakers and dark green jeans. He stood with on hand on his hip and the other tucked into his pocket.



“Well isn't zis a pleasant surprise.” Christophe responded with a smirk before taking a short drag from his cigarette. “Stan, Kayle, ‘ow ze ‘ell ‘ave the two of you been.” he asked putting a hand out for Stan to shake.



“We're doing pretty good.” Stan replied shaking Christophe's hand and smiling as he let go and turned to Kyle next.



“Stan's right everything's going well so far.” Kyle said shaking Christophe’s hand too. “How's it going with the two of you.” he asked smiling.



“Not so good.”Christophe replied.”Ze devil 'imself 'az cursed me with 'orrible nightmares every night.” he said before taking an especially long drag from his cigarette and turning his head to one side to blow out a cloud of smoke.



“What he means to say is that he's having trouble getting sleep at night.” Gregory commented with a chuckle. “I, on the other hand, have been sleeping just fine and buying the supplies we'll need for our classes, there are some pretty good deals on Amazon you know.” he said smiling.



“I said exactly what I meant!” Christophe retorted sticking his finished cigarette into the ashtray on the countertop he was leaning against.



“Don't mind him.” Gregory commented rolling his eyes fondly. “So, you two seem to be dressed for a party...what's the occasion?” he asked looking curious.



“We're headed to a party that Kenny's throwing.” Kyle stated matter of factly.



“Yeah and we thought we'd stop by and see if you guys would be interested in joining us.” Stan commented holding up the bag holding two bottles of Jameson Whiskey and two bags of chips.



“We would have loved to join you but Christophe and I were planning to get in an early night, right dear.”Gregory commented glancing back at the grumpy looking brunette.



“Oui,zat is correct.” Christophe responded with a huff. “Ees zere anything else we can do for you.” he asked scratching the back of his head.



“Actually, yeah.” Kyle replied quietly.



“Whatever you need it is yours.” Gregory said quickly a friendly smile on his lips.



“Yknow that bottle of Fireball you guys have...can we take it.”Stan asked rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.



“Of course!” Gregory commented quickly trotting over to the kitchen to retrieve the bottle. “Take a couple of shots for me and Christophe!” he said cheerfully as he handed the bottle and a bag of Pretzels over to Stan.



“Thanks, for the Fireball and Pretzels dude.” Stan commented bagging the aforementioned items carefully.



“Yeah Thank You, guys.” Kyle commented.



“You're welcome.” Gregory replied. “Well, have a good time then, Stanley, Kyle.” he said quietly turning and making his way back into the kitchen.



“You too!” Stan replied loud enough for Gregory to hear. “Have a good night.” he commented with a wave to Christophe as he turned and walked away.



Kyle paused a moment watching Christophe let out a heavy sigh as he watched Gregory fill up a tea kettle with water and light their gas stove before retrieving two tea packs and two mugs from one of the kitchen cupboards.



“I'm sorry about the nightmares Mole.” Kyle commented with a knowing smile.



“Eet eez nothing I can't ‘andle, Kyelle.” Christophe responded with a smirk. “But, thank you nonetheless.” he said his smirk softening into a grateful smile.



“Your welcome man.” Kyle replied with a smile. “See you around, Mole.” he said with a quick cheerful wave before running off when he heard Stan calling his name faintly.



“A bientot, Kyelle.” Christophe responded with an amused smile before closing the door and turning to join Gregory in the kitchen.




Chapter Text

After pulling up just outside Kenny's and Butters’ apartment in his trusty, red, pick-up truck Stan quickly shut the engine off and pocketed his keys.



"We're a bit early." Stan commented pulling his cell phone out and turning to how Kyle the time quietly.



“Well, maybe they could use our help setting things up.” Kyle replied with a smirk.



“Yeah, but before we go inside, I need to do something.” Stan commented as he pulled one of the two bottles of Jameson out of their bag, pulling out his flask and filling it before putting the bottle in a paper bag under the glove box.



“We taking that bottle home?”Kyle asked confused.



“Yep, maybe you and I can have a few shots together when we get home.” Stan replied leaning forward with a smirk.



“Mmm, maybe.”Kyle responded leaning forward as well. “Are you trying to seduce me, Stanley.” he commented letting a smirk appear on his lips.



“Now what gives you that idea?” Stan asked faking confusion before closing the gap between them with a quick kiss.



A couple of minutes later they exited the truck and made their way up to Kenny's front door before knocking twice.



“Well, hey there fellas!” Butters greeted them cheerfully as he opened the door. “You guys are a bit early.” he said looking confused.



 “Yeah, sorry about that.” Stan replied sheepishly.



“We were thinking we could help with whatever needs setting up.” Kyle commented quickly.



“That'd be mighty nice of ya.” Butters replied. “C’mon follow me, Kenny's in the kitchen.” he commented waving them inside before closing the door behind them as they stepped inside.



“Butterbean, who you talking to out there?” Kenny's voice rang out from the kitchen.



“It's just Stan and Kyle they showed up early!” Butters shouted back cheerfully.



“Stan and Kyle!” Kenny shouted before bounding out of the kitchen and over to where everyone was before wrapping the redhead and ravenette in a tight group hug.



“Hey man.” Stan greeted with a bit of a strain in his voice from being hugged so tightly.



“Great to see you too, dude.” Kyle greeted straining through the hug as well.



“What're you doing here early?” Kenny asked finally releasing his two friends from his tight grip.



“Well, Gregory and Christophe had an early night planned tonight, so they're not coming.” Kyle replied with a smile.



“But, we did bring the booze and snacks!” Stan cut in holding up the bag he was carrying.



“Jameson, Fireball, Funyuns, Doritos and pretzels!” Kenny commented digging through the bag. “Hey Butters, they brought Pretzels!” he said tossing the bag at Butters carefully.



“Oh boy, I love pretzels.” Butters commented hugging the bag before running into the kitchen to find a bowl for the pretzels.



“I think you guys just made his day.” Kenny commented with a chuckle. “C’mon follow me.” he said gesturing for Stan and Kyle to follow him out to the small back porch.



Just outside the door, a homemade beer pong table sat with the logo of their old superhero group in the middle and two triangular groups of cups set up on each end.



“Aw, sweet dude!” Stan commented excitedly.



“Did you make this?”Kyle asked admiring the shining the paint job.



“Yep, I really did learn something in Mr. Adler’s shop class, y'know.” Kenny replied before shuddering at the memories of all the sharp and dangerous tools. “Tweek and Craig are bringing the beer for the game, so wanna play a few rounds once this party gets started?” he asked with a smirk.



Before Stan or Kyle could reply the doorbell rang loudly interrupting their conversation.



“That should be them right now actually.” Kenny commented chuckling as he ran inside.



Stan and Kyle glanced at each other with big smiles on their lips before following Kenny to greet the new guests.




Chapter Text

By the time Stan and Kyle had caught up with Kenny, Craig and Tweek had already made their way into the kitchen with Kenny and Butters. The four of them talking excitedly about where to put what Craig and Tweek had brought.



“Augh! Oh, geez, I'm sorry guys!” Tweek said loudly after opening the fridge door and seeing two large cases of beer. "I totally didn't think about there not being enough room for a whole tray of cupcakes!” he said closing the fridge an looking around frantically at the counters for a spot place his tray.



Unfortunately, the counters were already covered in bags of chips and bottles of booze. There was even a bag with a few other ingredients that Craig had brought to make jello shots with.



“Mmmgh! I'm so stupid, these cupcakes were a dumb idea!” Tweek shouted getting ready to throw his cupcakes on the ground in frustration.



“Whoa. Hold on, babe.” Craig commented taking the tray of cupcakes gently. “You're not stupid, and your cupcakes aren't dumb, they're cute.” he said placing the cupcake tray onto an empty spot on the kitchen table.



“He's right!” Butters piped in quickly. “These Guinea Pig cupcakes are adorable!” he commented smiling brightly.



“Plus there's about to be more room for them in the fridge after I put these beers in the cooler out back.” Kenny said grabbing the two cases from the fridge. “Hey Stan, grab the bag of ice out the freezer and come help me with these!” he shouted cheerfully after quickly slipping out the back door.



“Sure thing!”Stan replied as he threw the two bags over each shoulder and followed the dirty blonde out the back door.



After watching them leave the kitchen Craig gathered the ingredients for his jello shots close two himself quickly, one bottle of cherry, one of orange, then lemon and lime, blueberry and finally grape vodka and a large box of Gelatin powder.



“Hey, Kyle can you boil some hot water really quickly.” Craig asked nonchalantly as he turned to the redhead next to him. “And Tweek Honey, can you get some bowls and other stuff out.” he asked barely smiling at his now calm boyfriend.



“S-sure, but shouldn't we ask to use their stuff first.” Tweek replied with a glance at Butters.



“He is right y'know Craig.” Kyle asked pausing in his search through the lower cupboards for a teapot. “People don't usually start using other people's stuff without asking.” he said with a laugh at Craig's indignant frown.



“It's all good fellas, Craig's over here all the time when he needs to borrow a cake pan or extra cupcake tin.” Butters commented chuckling as Craig tried shushing him.”Feel free to use anything you need, while I go order a few pizzas.” he said pointing at his phone in his hand with a smile.



“Thanks, Butters.” Kyle commented taking the white and blue ceramic teapot he'd found and filling it with water before turning on the stove and placing the teapot on the stove carefully.



“Anytime, I'm ordering Hawaiian, Pepperoni, and Plain Cheese pizzas all large, should I get some two liters and cheese sticks?” Butters responded.



“Hell yeah to the cheese sticks.” Craig quickly replied not looking up from making the jello shots.



“I agree with Craig on the cheese sticks and if you get any two liters make them Cherry Pepsi and Sprite!” Tweek piped in his opinion.



“If it's not too much you should add in some spicy buffalo wings!” Kyle commented quickly before switching the stove off and carefully brought the boiled water over to Craig.



“Great suggestions guys!” Butters shouted back cheerfully as he headed out the door to make his phone call on the front porch.




Chapter Text

“Three large pizzas, one Hawaiian, one Pepperoni and one plain cheese.An order of cheese sticks, an order of spicy buffalo wings and two two-liters, one sprite and the other Cherry Pepsi.” The girl on the phone said listing the items in a monotone voice. “That's your order, I didn't forget anything did I?” She asked.



“No, ma’am you didn't forget a thing.” Butters replied politely into the phone.



“Ok, in that case, your total comes to Ninety Four dollars.” She responded monotonously. “It should arrive in forty-five minutes or an hour.”



“Ninety-Four dollars, ok.” Butters replied quickly. “Thanks again, ma’am.”



“No problem man.” The girl replied quickly. “Bye.” She said before hanging up.



“Oh, hamburgers.” Butters muttered to himself searching through his wallet quickly. “I only have Fifty in here.” he commented sadly.



Suddenly he was startled by a small, tan-furred Chihuahua running over, tackling his feet and barking playfully.



“Chica, get back here.” Shouted a girl who was trotting over to get her dog quickly. “I'm so sorry if she scared you, Butters.” she replied picking the small dog up with ease.



“Oh, that's alright, Sami.” Butters responded with a smile. “I was just trying to remember if I had more money somewhere.” he said with a laugh.



“For what?” Sami asked curiously. “Do you owe some money to the Mafia or something.” she commented with a smirk.



“Nah, it's for the pizzas I ordered for the party.” Butters replied with a laugh. “I need about Ninety-Four dollars.” he said rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.



“Ninety-Four dollars?!” Sami replied looking surprised. “That's a lot.” she commented.



“Yeah and I only have Fifty dollars.” Butters replied looking worried.



“Oh, well…” Sami started digging into her pocket. “...Here, I have about Fifty myself, you can use the change as a tip.” she replied handing over a Fifty dollar bill from her back pocket.



“Oh! Thank you so much!” Butters replied wrapping Sami and her dog in a quick hug. “You can come and enjoy the party if you want to.” he offered smiling sweetly.



“Yeah, ok, I'll hang out for a bit.” Sami responded. “If you don't mind Chica hanging out too.” She commented holding up the small dog face to face with Butters.



The tan Chihuahua looked at the blonde before her. Warm Brown eyes stared into sky blue eyes across from her for a few intense minutes before...sticking out her wet tongue and licking Butters right on the nose cheerfully.



“Nope, I don't mind one bit.” Butters replied giggling as he pet the small dog's head gently.



“Ok, let's go say hi to everyone else.” Sami said strolling through the front door.



“Sure, hope Ken doesn't mind me inviting her to stay at the party.”Butters commented to himself as he followed her.



As he walked in he saw Kenny and Sami chatting cheerfully.



“Its been forever since we last saw each other!” Kenny commented hugging Sami excitedly. “What're you doing around here?” he asked with a big smile.



“Yeah, it's been awhile.” Sami Responded after recovering from the tight hug. “I actually just moved in across from you yesterday.” she said adjusting her grip on Chica quickly.



“Yeah, It's not easy to find a pet-friendly place.” Kenny replied with a laugh. “Also who's this little one.” he asked leaning over and rubbing the small dog's ears softly.



“Her name is Chica.” Sami replied giggling at how charmed by her dog Kenny seemed to be. “Don't let that sweet face fool you she's got a devilish side.” she commented with a smirk.



“That's something we have in common.” Kenny replied with a smirk at the small pup. “Right, Butterbean?” he asked wrapping an arm around Butters waist, tugging him close and kissing his neck.



“K-Ken! Cut it out…” Butters stuttered blushing brightly. “We have a guest right here!” he said pulling away still red as a beet.



“I'll take that reaction as confirmation of my devilish side.” Kenny replied. “So, you're staying for the party?” he asked.



“Yep. I'm here to have a good time with old friends.” Sami responded smiling brightly.



“I don't see any booze or chips.” Kenny commented looking Sami up and down quickly. “You gotta pay a fee to get in on the fun.” he said with a smirk.



“I paid fifty dollars to your little door guard over there.” Sami replied nodding at Butters with a smile. “There's your fee.” she commented with a chuckle.



“Wait, fifty dollars.” Kenny responded glancing at Butters. “Are you being serious?” he asked glancing back at Sami.



“Yeah, he needed Ninety-Four bucks for the pizzas.” Sami replied. “He only had fifty of his own, so I gave him the other fifty and said to use the change as a tip.” she commented.



“Buttercup, why didn't you  come ask me for the money.” Kenny asked with a few amused laughs. “Give me those fifties and I'll be right back.” he said taking the two bills as Butters handed them over, before running into his and Butters bedroom and coming back with a large mason jar in his hands.



The jar was full of change and different bills. Some were fives, tens and twenties, but most were ones, with the occasional fifty.



“Here we go.” Kenny commented setting the jar down on the coffee table and sitting down on the sofa. “Let me just reach in here and grab a…”He muttered digging through all the different bills and all the way to the bottom. “Aha! Gotcha!” he shouted excitedly as he quickly pulled out a stack of bills that were bound with a rubber band.



“Where'd you even earn all this extra cash, dude?” Sami asked watching Kenny pull a hundred dollar bill from the stack and bind the rest back together carefully.



“I have a job as a “dancer”.” Kenny replied putting the stack back in the jar. “Pays a lot of cash.” he said handing Butters back his fifty. “Where do you earn your cash?” he asked handing Sami her fifty with a smirk.



“I do art commissions and usually my customers are online…”Sami responded quickly. “...sometimes they're not.” she said tucking the fifty into her wallet carefully.



“That's neat!” Butters commented with a big smile.



“How much would it cost if I wanted you to draw us?” Kenny asked curiously.



“Usually it'd be about twenty-five dollars but…” Sami responded smiling.”You'd get a friends discount.” she commented with a chuckle. “So, where is everyone else?” she asked glancing around.



“In the kitchen setting up the table or out back filling the coolers.” Butters replied politely.



“C’mon follow us.” Kenny commented wrapping an arm around Butters and waving for Sami to follow.




Chapter Text



“What was that?”Kyle asked looking up from putting the last few bottles of beer in the cooler front of him.


“Somebody just texted me.” Stan replied pulling his phone out and looked at the text alert.


“Stan, can you let Kenny know that Bebe and I can't make it to his party tonight after all.
P.S: I woulda told him myself but he's not answering his phone.
~♡ Wendy.”


“It was Wendy.” Stan commented sending his reply and closing the text app.“She and Bebe can't make it tonight and she asked me to let Kenny know.” he said quietly stuffing his phone back into his pocket.


“Why didn't she tell him herself?”Kyle asked confused as he walked over quickly.


“She mentioned something about him not answering his phone.” Stan replied deep in thought. “Hmm…” he sounded furrowing his brows.


“Not answering his phone?”Kyle asked nervously. “Uh-oh.” he said worry clear in his voice.


“What?” Stan asked quickly.


“Maybe we should get inside asap!” Kyle replied taking hold of Stan's hand and started for the door.


“Good idea!” Stan responded following him inside quickly.


“KENNY!” They both shouted throwing the back door open.


As the two of them rushed inside they almost ran into Butters and Sami who were standing just inside the kitchen and chatting cheerfully.


“Butters, Where's Kenny!” Stan said urgently, Kyle at his side glancing around the kitchen frantically.


“I'm right here calm down guys.” Kenny commented as he walked into the kitchen.“It's not like I'm just gonna randomly die.” he said holding up the stack of pizzas, a bag with cheese sticks and buffalo wings and another bag with Cherry Pepsi and Sprite.


“, sorry dude.” Kyle commented rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.


“We just got a bit worried when Wendy said you weren't answering your phone.” Stan said also looking embarrassed.


“Wendy needed to talk to me?” Kenny asked curiously. “About what?” he asked setting the pizzas and bags on the kitchen counter.


“She wanted to tell that she and Bebe can’t make it tonight.” Kyle replied unpacking the cheese sticks and buffalo wings and setting them on the table with the other food.


“Oh, that's really too bad.” Butters piped up hugging Chica, close.


“Oh well.” Kenny replied shrugging his shoulders. “I figured they might be to busy after Clyde, Red, Token, and Nicole decided not come either.” he commented ruffling his dirty blonde hair gently.


Just then the sound of really loud knocking sounded making everyone jump, startled and look in the direction of Kenny’s now closed and locked front door.


“Who the heck could that be?” Kenny asked wrinkling his nose confused.


“Hm, I dunno.” Butters replied moving to stand closer to Kenny. “Everyone we invited is here…” He commented glancing around at the guests who were there with them.


“Well, there’s only one way to figure out who it is.” Kenny said walking over to the front door. “HOLD ON!” He shouted at the door as the person on the other side knocked again even louder.



Chapter Text

“WOULD YOU PLEASE HOLD ON!” Kenny shouted irritably to the person knocking. “Geeze.” he muttered as he quickly unlocked the door.

After Kenny swung the door open he was met with the sight of Cartman leaning against the door frame casually with a cocky smirk on his lips.

“Heeey, Kinney!” Cartman said patting Kenny's shoulder before walking past him into the house. “Hey, guys!” he said making his way towards everyone else.

“Cartman what're you doing here?” Kenny asked looking irritated.

“Douchebag! Holy crap, I haven't seen you in forever!” Cartman said ignoring Kenny to greet Sami.

“CARTMAN!!!” Kenny growled stomping over, pulling and turning Cartman to look at him.“Answer.My.Question!” he said punctuating each word.

“Ok...geeze, Kinney.” Cartman said trying to pull away. “I heard from Clyde that you were having a party an’ figured I'd stop by.” he said with a smirk.

“Without being invited?” Kyle asked incredulously.

“I'm sure Kinney woulda invited me if he knew I was back in town.” Cartman replied to the freckled, redhead with a frown. “Right, Kinney?” he said turning back to the dirty blonde with a fake pout.

“Yea, I guess.” Kenny muttered quietly. “Look, you can stay for the party, only if you promise not to cause trouble or eat all the food.” he commented pointing a finger at the ‘big-boned’, brunette and giving him a serious no-nonsense look.

“Sweeet.” Cartman replied. “I'll be as innocent as a lamb.” he said with a cat-like smirk.

“Good.” Kenny responded quickly. “C'mon guys let's get this party started!” he said turning to everyone else before walking over to his radio and turning it on.

“Soo, who wants to play some Beer Pong?” Craig asked nonchalantly.

“That actually sounds like a lot of fun!” Kenny replied running back over to the group. “What do you guys say, wanna come watch. We can even take turns playing.” he asked.

“That's a great idea!” Cartman said following the group as they moved outside.

“This gonna be awesome!” Stan commented excitedly.

“Yeah as long as Cartman's ‘Innocent As A Lamb’ behavior keeps up.” Kyle replied imitating Cartman's voice with a frown. “You know how he can be.” he said irritably.

“Yeah, I do know.” Stan replied with a reassuring smile. “But, let's just try to focus on having fun right now ok?” he said wrapping an arm around Kyle's shoulders and pulling him close before walking into the backyard.


Chapter Text

After winning their second round of Beer Pong against Craig and Tweek, Stan and Kyle were excitedly doing a victory dance and cheering.

“Oh  man, that was amazing!” Stan said stopping his dancing to pat Kyle's back. “2 Wins In A Row!” he said leaning in and hugging Kyle's shoulder.

“I told you I have a great throwing arm.” Kyle replied with a smile. “Plus my accuracy is almost always perfect.” he said leaning into the hug.

“Everyone here knows that now.” Kenny commented walking up next to them. “Now why not let everyone else show off their skills?” he asked gathering the pong balls and refilling the cups.

“That sounds great.” Stan replied with a smirk. “Wanna grab something to eat Kyle?” he asked.

“Yeah, I am getting kinda hungry.” Kyle said putting a hand to his stomach as it growled.“Plus I think my blood sugars getting a bit low.” he replied quietly as his stomach growled again.

“Ok, then its definitely time for a break.” Stan said taking Kyle's hand and leading him towards the back door. “See you guys later.” he said saluting the others playfully before heading inside.

“Alright, so who's ass am I gonna kick?” Kenny asked with a smirk as he stared down everyone else.

“Craig n’ I are taking a break.” Tweek commented twitching as he backed away from the pong table quickly. “R-right, Craig.” he asked stopping by the doorway to glance back at the ebony haired male.

“Right, Babe.” Craig replied monotoned as he followed Tweek. “Let's go get the Jello Shots from the fridge, they should be ready by now.” he commented softly with a fond smile.

“Guess it's me n’ Butt Lord versus you and Butters then.” Cartman commented grabbing Sami’s hand and sauntering up to the pong table.

“Um, who said anything about me wanting to be on your team!” Sami responded irritatedly pulling her hand out of Cartman's grip.

“Well, it IS a couples match…” Cartman replied with a smirk. “And I need a partner so I figure you'll do.” he said still smirking.

“Oh for the love of Pete!” Sami responded rolling her eyes. “That better not be flirting you think you're doing and sorry I don't play Beer Pong.” She said walking away quickly.

“Hey! Where you going?!” Cartman yelled quickly.

“Inside to get a slice of Pizza!” Sami replied quickly. “And away from you.” She mumbled to herself.

“Sorry dude guess your not quite the ladies man you think you are.” Kenny commented with a chuckle.

“Oh shut up, Kinney.” Cartman replied as he turned back toward the two blondes.

“I can sit out this round if you still wanna play against, Ken.” Butters commented with a warm smile. “I was thinking about trying one of Tweek's cupcakes.” he said giggling.

“Kewl!” Cartman responded excitedly. “Thanks, dude!” he said quickly.

“It's ok.” Butters commented chuckling. “I was kinda hungry anyway.” he said with a smile.

“Bring me back a cupcake, Butterbean!” Kenny shouted smiling.

“Ok, Ken!” Butters shouted back cheerfully as he walked inside.

“So you ready to get beat, Kinney?” Cartman asked tossing and catching the pong ball in his hand.

“No.” Kenny replied with an irritated frown. “But I am ready to beat you.” he said with a smirk.

“Bring it on, poor boy!” Cartman replied with a cocky smirk before tossing the pong ball as hard as he could.

Inside the house everyone one else was grabbing paper plates and plastic cups and filling them up with their favorite kinds of pizza and other snacks and drinks.

“The Jello Shots are ready now guys.” Craig commented monotoned as he pulled out the tray of shots and placed them on the table.

“Those look great Craig.” Tweek commented admiring the colors.

“Thanks, honey.” Craig replied with a small smile. “Your cupcakes are pretty delicious too y'know, especially the vanilla ones.” he said holding a shot out for Tweek to try.

“Thanks, Craig.” Tweek said with a smile and really red cheeks.

“Hey, Stan, Kyle want to try one of my jello shots?” Craig asked the red-headed and noirette haired couple. “Uh, nevermind.” he said as he noticed them standing next to kitchen table piling food onto their plates.

“Kyle, you feeling better now?” Stan asked watching the freckled redhead yawn a bit.

“Yeah, a little, my blood sugar was a bit low is all.” Kyle replied placing a slice of Pineapple pizza and a cupcake on his plate. “I'm still a bit tired though, wanna go sit on the couch?” he asked with a sleepy smile.

“Good idea, you scared me for a second there.” Stan replied placing an arm around Kyle's waist and leading him towards the couch carefully and sitting down with him. “You need to be careful about that stuff.” he commented laying his head on Kyle's shoulder and nuzzling into his fluffy curls playfully.

“I just left my Glucose Tablets in the car by accident.” Kyle replied with a small giggle. “But, I promise I'll try to be more careful.” he said taking a bite from his cupcake.

Stan responded by leaning closer, pinning Kyle's side in the couch arm and wiping a bit of frosting from Kyle's cheek with his thumb. “You better try.” he commented with a flirty smirk, licking the frosting from his thumb and diving in for a kiss.

“Stan! Cut it out.” Kyle scolded once he was free of the kiss. “There's…” started before being cut off by another heated kiss.

“There's what? Other people around?” Stan asked with looking amused. “Let em look.” he said leaning in and kissing Kyle's neck next.

Suddenly the sound of the back door opening and two people arguing loudly sounded through the small house. Stan and Kyle, however, hadn't noticed and continued to make out on the couch.

“You're such a jerk Cartman!” Kenny shouted seething as he rubbed a red welt on his forehead.

“Oh, quit your whining, Kinney.” Cartman replied with a loud laugh. “Yer just pissed that I have better skills than you.” he said dismissively.

“Skills!?” Kenny shouted back quickly. “Throwing the ball at your opponent's face is not ‘skill’ you ass!” he said yelled pointing at the red mark on his forehead.

“Whatever man.” Cartman said grabbing two slices of pizza and a cupcake from the table and headed toward the couch.

He stopped short once he noticed Stan and Kyle making out on the couch.


"Would you look at this, dinner and a show.” Cartman commented staring at them. “Jew Boy and Hippie Boy are really going at it guys.” he said with a smirk before picking a pepperoni off his pizza and flicked it at the pair.

“Cartman what the hell?” Kyle shouted sitting up quickly when the pepperoni landed on his face.

“What is your problem?” Stan asked standing up and glaring at Cartman irritably.

“Stan, calm down.” Kyle said grabbing Stan's arm and starting to pull Stan back down onto the couch.

“That's right, listen to your Quadruple J  boyfriend.” Cartman commented with a smug grin. “Jew, Ginger, Jersey and now…” he began listing the different ‘Js’, counting them off on his fingers before being cut off.

“Don't you dare say it Cartman!” Kyle yelled from his spot on the couch.

“Say what?” Cartman replied fake confusion in his voice. “Oh, you mean…” He said taunting the seething redhead.

“Don't say it!” Kyle shouted.

“...GAY!!” Cartman finished a self-satisfied sneer on his lips.

“SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CARTMAN!!” Kyle yelled loudly as he lunged at the other and threw a shattering punch into Cartman's jaw with all his strength.


Chapter Text

A loud crash sounded as the force of Kyle's punch sent Cartman's body into the coffee table behind him. The sound alerted Kenny and the other guests to the fight.

“What the fucks going on here?” Kenny asked glancing at the seething redhead and the fat brunette sprawled out on the floor.

“THAT STUPID JEW PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE!” Cartman screamed from the ground.

“Say that again and I'll kick you in the…” Kyle began before being cut off by Stan.

“Kyle, calm down.” Stan said pulling Kyle down onto the couch gently.

“Ok, Stan can you explain what happened?” Kenny asked. “You seem calmer than these two.” he commented smirking.

“Well, you see Kyle and I were in here on the couch minding our own business…” Stan began explaining before being cut off.

“YOU TWO WERE MAKING OUT!” Cartman yelled cutting in loudly. “Minding your own business my ass.” he muttered to himself.

“Fine...On the couch making out...minding our own business, when Cartman comes over insulting us and calling Kyle a Quadruple J!” Stan explained.

“Quadruple what?” Sami asked looking confused.

“A Quadruple J.” Kenny replied quickly. “It used to be called The Three J's, but I guess Cartman changed it up just to spite Kyle.” he said crossing his arms irritably.

“But what do the J's stand for?” Sami asked curiously.

“Well the last time Cartman used that term, The Three J's, he described them like strikes you get in baseball.” Butters replied putting a hand to his chin in thought. “Kyle's were being Jewish, A Ginger and being from Jersey if I remember correctly.” he explained.

“Ok, there are two things I still don't get.” Sami replied. “One Ginger doesn't start with a J…” she began before being cut off by Cartman.

“Yes, it does!” Cartman yelled. “J-I-N-G-E-R, GINGER, SEE!!” he said quickly spelling out the word.

“Idiot…” Sami muttered under her breath. “AND...two what's the fourth J in this instance?” she asked glancing around confused.

“I can answer that one since I was witness to it.” Stan replied. “And it's technically not a “J” either.” Stan commented using finger quotes on the word J.

“Ok, let us hear it then, Stan.” Kenny said with a friendly smile.

“Well, the J word and new strike is…” Stan replied stopping for a dramatic pause. “...Gay.” he said.

“Wait a minute, you get a strike for being Gay suddenly.” Craig asked looking confused.

“Does this mean that Craig and I have had strikes this whole time?!” Tweek asked looking panicked.

“I sure hope not.” Butters commented glancing around.

“Guys what do we care about Cartman's “strikes”, they're dumb and don't really mean anything!” Stan said speaking up quickly.

“And you…” Kenny said turning his attention to Cartman still sitting on the ground. “I told you earlier that you'd be kicked out if you caused trouble, so…” he said leaning over and picking Cartman up by the front of his shirt. “OUT.” he said as he shoved the large brunette toward the door roughly.

“FINE!” Cartman yelled as he walked over to the door. “I didn't wanna spend any more time with you gay losers!” he shouted irritability pausing by the doorway before turning and leaving.

“Just go already!” Kyle shouted annoyed. “Or I'll come punch you again!” he yelled watching Cartman retreat to his car and leave quickly.

“Sheesh.” Kenny muttered under his breath. “That idiot's never gonna learn.” he commented.

“Yeah.” Kyle replied. “I'm really sorry bout’ the mess caused by our fight.” he commented glancing at the pizza, cupcakes and spilled soda on the couch and floor.

“You can pay me back for it by helping clean up.” Kenny replied retreating to the kitchen to look for a black garbage bag, broom, and dustpan.


Chapter Text

After an hour of clean up, Kenny’s house was looking decent again. The living room carpet no longer had cheese and chocolate frosting all over it and the snacks on the table had been packed away into the cupboards. The only thing left to do was take the bags full of garbage and bottles to the bins.

“We'll take em out for you, Kenny,” Stan commented grabbing the large bag of garbage and pizza boxes.

“You sure?” Kenny asked bringing the broom and dustpan in after sweeping the back porch.

“Yeah, of course.” Kyle replied “We’re about to head home anyway.” He commented picking up the bag of bottles in one hand.

“Well, alright then.” Kenny said as he started sweeping the kitchen floor quickly.

“Hope you guys had a good time.” Butters commented from the kitchen sink where he was washing dishes.

“Of course we did.” Stan replied with a friendly smile.

“Yeah.” Craig commented as he walked by, the tray of leftover cupcakes in hand.“Were headed home too, Kenny.” He said quietly.

“Thanks for stopping by.” Kenny replied.

“No problem.” Craig responded quickly before glancing around. “Tweek, you ready to go yet?!” He shouted into the kitchen.

“A-almost, Butters w-wanted my cupcake recipe…” Tweek replied quickly. “I just had to wr-write it down for him.” he commented walking into the living room and over to where Craig was.

“You ready, got your thermos refilled?” Craig asked putting an arm around Tweek’s small shoulders.

“Yeah.” Tweek replied gripping his warm thermos tightly. “I'm ready.”

“K.” Craig responded with a small smile. “Well, see you guys.” He said with a wave before turning to leave.

“Bye guys.” Tweak said also waving before following Craig quickly.

As they left through the doorway Stan and Kyle walked back inside to say goodbye and goodnight to Kenny and Butters before leaving themselves.

“You fellas should stop by again sometime!” Butters shouted out the doorway as the two couples climbed into their vehicles.

“Yeah! Mi Casa Es Su Casa!” Kenny shouted with a laugh as he watched the two vehicles make their ways down the road.

After a few minutes of watching their friends drive away, Kenny wrapped an arm around Butter’s waist and lead him back inside.

“Let's hurry and finish up in the kitchen and then head to the bedroom, K, Butterbean?” Kenny commented placing a quick kiss on the shorter blonde’s cheek.

Meanwhile, Craig and Tweek were in the front seats of Craig’s Midnight Blue Impala talking about Kenny's party as they drove home.

“Well that party was a bust wasn't it?” Craig commented with a smile. “It all went to shit the minute Cartman showed up.” He said with a smirk.

“It wasn’t that bad, Craig.” Tweek replied with a giggle. “I mean yeah Cartman picking a fight with Kyle did kinda ruin the good vibes, but the rest of it was fun right.” he said.

“That's true.” Craig agreed with a small smile. “I still can't believe Butt Lord showed up with her dog.” He said.

“Me either.” Tweek replied with snort-laugh “It’d be like if we brought Stripe with us.” He commented leaning against Craig’s side and laying his head on Craig’s shoulder with a yawn.

“I know right?” Craig responded glancing at the now dozing blonde. “Babe, why don't you rest til’ we get back home?” He asked leaning forward to switch on the car heater.

Back at Kenny’s and Butters’ home the two of them had just finished changing clothes, getting into their sides of the bed and were now chatting idly about the party as they watched Love, Simon.

“This has a pretty good plot to it doesn't it, Ken?” Butter’s said taking a handful from the bowl of popcorn on the bed.

“I guess.” Kenny replied with a smile. “Its definitely a more realistic portrayal of gays than in Brokeback Mountain.” He commented with a smirk.

“Yeah.” Butters replied with a small giggle. “Anyway, I...uh thought the party went well...” he said leaning his head onto Kenny's shoulder.

“Except for that little incident at the end there.” Kenny replied snarkily as he scooted closer to the other blonde.“But, that can be avoided by locking our door so random people don't just walk right in.” he said.

“Anyway, I was thinkin’ it was so much fun tonight we should invite the guys over more often.” Butters replied with an amused smile as he leaned closer to Kenny.

“Sounds like a great idea to me.” Kenny said wrapping his arm around his waist. “Maybe we could set up a game night and you could make dinner sometime.” He said with a smile.

“Yeah! I could make my Mom’s recipe for Fried Chicken and Mashed Potatoes.” Butters replied excitedly. “It'd be so fun.” He said with a big smile.

“Alright, alright turn your high beams off, you're hurting my eyes with that bright smile.” Kenny commented smiling back at the shorter blonde. “I love you, Leo.”

“Aww, you know I can't help it, I'm just excited.” Butters responded with a bout of giggles. “I love you too, Ken.” He said snuggling further into Kenny’s comforting embrace.