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This is the Rebellion

Chapter Text

8:00 pm Leia created group Exclusive Territory

Leia: Hey everyone

Leia: Made this so we can vent a little. Also I want ONE group without that annoying douche.

Leia: Who's in?


Sabine: I get the feeling we don't really have a choice

Leia: As if you aren't sick of him.

Sabine: who, Han? He's fun. Everyone likes him. Even jyn likes him and she's a social reject

Jyn: Excuse me?


Jyn: f you I have a life

Leia: Hey wait a minute.

Leia: Come back.


Leia: I thought she was bluffing when she said she had a life.

Sabine: jyn? no life whatsoever.

Sabine: it says she's online.

Leia: Ugh, why is she like this?

Leia: Omg she's probably texting Cassian.

Leia: Ha!

Sabine: you have 0 proof good luck with that

Leia: I hate you.

Sabine: got a customer bye love

Leia: Bye.

Leia: Boring conversation anyway.

Private Chat: Jyn, Cassian

Jyn: Sabine just said I have no life I hate how right she is

Cassian: Lol

Cassian: That's probably because of the course you're taking.

Jyn: you didn't even deny it I feel so betrayed

Cassian: Sorry. It's just that we don't even get to hang out.


Jyn: Awwh is someone feeling neglected?

Jyn: do you want me to come over and give you a hug? Cuddle for a whole night maybe?

Cassian: Ffs jyn

Jyn: Lol love you too

Jyn: K gotta go. Bye! Hugs and kisses lool

Cassian: Bye :)

Private Chat: Luke, Bodhi

Bodhi: Luke, can I ask a favour?


Luke: Sure, what's up?

Bodhi: Leia created this group, I thinks it's only for the girls? I think I got added by accident can you ask her to remove me please

Luke: Why don't you just ask her??

Bodhi: sorry

Bodhi: she's just...kind of scary

Luke: Come one she's not that scary

Bodhi: have you seen her yell at Han it's terrifying

Luke: haha okay I'll mention it. We're meeting up for dinner. Wanna come?

Bodhi: if I'm there how will you mention it

Luke: Oh for God's sake

Luke: K. Won't forget. Bye!

Bodhi: THANK YOU and byee

Bodhi: Oh I forgot

Bodhi: Han's hosting movie night

Luke: Shikes leia was actually looking forward to movie night this time

Bodhi: think she'll skip?

Luke: Nah. I'll just slide it to her though. I'll say there'll be good food.

Bodhi: okay cool. Good luck!

Luke: C'mon she doesn't hate him or anything

Bodhi: yeah I can believe that. Yeah.

Luke: Han is a REALLY great guy once you get past the smug exterior. She'll realize. Eventually.

Bodhi: I'm going to feel a lot of stress leave me when that day comes

Luke: GTG, she's calling. Bye!


Chapter Text

Kessel Rim was one of those bars that weren't crowded on weekdays because it was far from the workplace sector, and closer to the middle of nowhere that was too exhausting to travel to after a hard day at the office. Of course, this made it a fairly private venue for regulars, or anyone in search of a bar they could carry out an audible conversation in, and the owners of Kessel had turned this feature to their advantage and installed private booths in one corner, removing the partitions of weekends. The alcohol prices shot up to compensate for the customers not visiting.

The bar had only two other people in it, a fact that didn't warrant renting out a private booth to drain your sorrows in. Well. Not that Cassian used alcohol as a coping mechanism anymore, but. He needed the time alone. Away from his best friend and roommate Kay, who'd only sardonically comment on his weird mood and make things worse.

The thing was...well, the thing was...

Cassian Andor was used to life giving him shit. He was so used to it that whenever a crisis presented itself, he stared it cold in the face, not backing down and not rising to the bait, either. So he did not have to cry his eyes out in a private corner or on the shoulder of his (too tall) best friend. He could sit still through a storm. This feature had earned him the his college nickname of Resting Spy Face Guy.

(Andor with the Ass was another college nickname, used in a much more flattering sense, but he didn't know that.)

But as of right now he was sitting in this sad excuse of a bar like a loser clutching a glass in one hand and his phone in the other, and if only his grandmother could see him now.

He kept repeating sentiments in his head- Get out of it, you moron. - It was a joke, stupid. - and sometimes even audibly -"Get out of it, you moron."

Cassian didn't think his mood could get any worse until the door of the bar swished open, and a very buoyant Kes Dameron walked in with his girlfriend of two years, Shara Bey.

(He had a sneaking suspicion they were married legally. Who stayed together that long and weren't? They were probably delaying having an actual wedding until they had the money for it)

Cassian buried his face inside folded arms, on the table, hoping they wouldn't notice him under the thick folds of his jacket. To his relief, it worked. But as soon as he started feeling some semblance of hope, the couple slid into the seats next to him and started a complicated order of drinks and sandwiches.

"Oh, could you change that to the roast option?" Kes called over the counter. "Just for me. Thanks."

He went to sit down, and his elbow accidentally caught in Cassian's jacket. He withdrew quickly

"Hey, I'm so sorry, didn't mean to- Cass?"

Oh, right. He was wearing his old football jacket, with the number 11 on the back of it, which spelt the word CASSIAN in big block letters.

"Holy shit, bro, what're you doing here?" Kes's face was in his, eyes wide and disturbingly concerned, as he reluctantly lifted his head. His cousin looked different degrees of worried.

Behind him, Shara's mouth had formed into a susprised O.

"Tough week," grunted Cassian by way of explanation, then went to bury his face again.

"Hey, hold on a moment," Kes gripped his arms and pulled him out of it. "You never do this."

Cassian laughed dryly. "Very tough week," he amended his lie.

To his annoyance, Kes looked more than prepared to listen, and Shara dragged her stool over beside him to look on in sympathy as well.

"Can we get you a drink?" she asked.

"Dios- no, Shara, that's alright." How had his life come to this? "I'm just tired. Can't deal with Kay right now." He smiled in a way he hoped was convincing.

Kes was not fooled. "Alright, what the hell is up with you?"

Cassian glared. "I told you."

"No you didn't," Kes turned to his wife/girlfriend. "Babe, can you give us a moment? You really don't wanna witness this."

Shara snorted, knocking back a shot. "I can handle a lot of shit, Dameron. But if it's a question of privacy, yeah, sure. I'm going over there."

Kes smiled. "Thanks, babe."

Shara almost tripped on a wayside stool on the way to her chosen spot, but she dulled the effect of the mistake by pointing the finger out for Kes when he started laughing. How many drinks had she had? Already?

Kes stopped looking cheery and slammed a fist on the table. "Right. Spill. What do I have to save your ass from this time?"

Cassian chuckled in a self-deprecating way, but he suddenly felt far more self conscious than when he'd been caught in the first place.

Kes was his cousin, had grown up with him, and knew far more things about him than he was probably aware of himself. He couldn't hide anything.

"You're going to say I'm pathetic."

Kes rubbed his shoulder sympathetically. "I'm not gonna judge, brother."

Not even looking the other man in the eyes, Cassian opened his phone, found the right place and slid it over.

Kes contemplated what was in front of him for a long time.


Cassian would've rolled his eyes if this wasn't already as embarrassing as it was. "What do you mean, and?"

"Wait, you're snivelling over- joder, you really are pathetic."

"Tonto del culo," muttered Cassian, but half-buried his head again, hoping to cover the reddening tips of his ears.

"You know this is a joke, right? Or just...just something people say sometimes? Like, I've told you a million times. Bodhi says it. Leia's said it to you. What difference does it make?"

"Did you really just ask that?"

Kes huffed. "Well I know you have it bad for her, but this is fucking ridiculous, hijo de puta."

Across the room, Shara rapped on her table irately. "Why can I hear none of this conversation except your extremely loud cursing? Civility, guys!"

"Is civility a word?" mumbled Cassian, objectively not meeting his cousin's incredulous look.

"Puta madre," said Kes firmly, stealing his elbow from under his head so he had no choice but to meet his eyes. "You're being really, really ridiculous. Just-" And here a creative rush of expletives. "Ask her out already."

Cassian knew some creative curses, too.

"Que te folle un pez."

From far away, Shara burst out laughing before Kes could respond.

"I can't deal with both of you at once," he said miserably. "I can't. Fine. Drink up, hermano, feel sorry for yourself, but this conversation isn't over, you hear?"

"Leave him alone," called Shara.

"Listen to her," said Cassian.

"You're such a- a Cabrón,"finished Kes lamely, having run out of steam. He slumped back down his seat. "Oh, my sandwich is here. Look what you did to my apetite, idiot. And it's cold now. Joder."

Cassian snagged his drink. "I meant that last one."

Kes objectively ignored him while Shara's laughter rang in his ears.


Chatroom: Exclusive Territory

Leia: Where are my favourite bitches

Hera: Leia...

Leia: Well, you wouldn't have turned up if you didn't have something to scold me about.

Hera: Ugh, kids.

Hera: Well, is there a reason I was summoned? I'm in the middle of some work.

Jyn: Hey bitchh

Leia: HEYY!

Hera: Ugh kids

Leia: Hiya mom

Leia: And I'm here to you can skip this one actually. Probably should.

Jyn: what did that hijo de puta do this time

Leia: You remember that auction my parents held last month?

Leia: Wait, what did you just call him?

Jyn: It means son of a bitch. Only milder. Cause I like Han.

Leia: Why does EVERYONE like Han? He's such an asshole, it doesn't make sense.

Hera: Jyn. Leia. Language.

Jyn: holy shit you're still here??

Hera: Notifications, sweetie.

Leia: Um, okay. Sorry.


Private Chat: Leia, Jyn

Jyn: I don't get why you made a group especially for roasting Han and added Hera to it

Leia: Hera's part of the gang!

Jyn: Hey I fucking love Hera, but she won't let me say the work fuck in a group chat about Han?

Leia: Okay you got a point there.

Leia: And where was I? Oh yes, so somehow at the auction

Leia: My mom is so CHARMED by him

Leia: He was acting SO BLOODY CIVILIZED in front of them

Leia: And they're going to invite him. On our trip. OUR trip!

Jyn: Wait a family trip??

Leia: Well it's more like a tour to distribute those charity packs. The ones that came from the auction. But STILL. those invites are EXCLUSIVE, not for annoying pieces of shit like Han Solo!

Jyn: hmm

Jyn: doesn't sound like a bad idea to me

Jyn: might be a good chance to shed off all that UST


Leia: Are you suggesting that I fucking like Han fucking Solo? The fuck kind of friend are you?!

Jyn: yup. All that UST.

Leia: Don't talk to me until you've said sorry to me and my dead relatives.

Jyn: come onn


Jyn: Leia where'd you go

Jyn: bitchh


Jyn: Bitch come back

Jyn: Wifey?

Jyn: Fine. I don't need you anyway.


Private Chat: Jyn, Bodhi

Jyn: I think Leia's mad at me

Bodhi: did you in any way suggest she likes Han

Jyn: I'm ALLOWED TO! She teases me for Cassian all the fucking time

Bodhi: that's because you won't break her fingers for it

Bodhi: also it's very hard not to

Jyn: I hate you.

Jyn: can you do me a favour?

Bodhi: right after you declared your undying hate for me? Very strategic

Jyn: pleasee

Bodhi: fine what do u want

Jyn: can you buy me a box of condoms

Jyn: as in, the cardboard thing where they keep all the small boxes


Jyn: my annoying nieces are coming over, they want a water balloon fight like last time. That's all. Gee.

Bodhi: WHt


Jyn: you know how annoying they are. They asked for a water balloons and I didn't have balloons in the house I had no choice


Jyn: balloons break easily and the brats will get hurt

Bodhi: jyn. I literally cannot do this. Who goes up to the counter and buys THE ENTIRE SET

Bodhi: wait do I want to know why you had a whole box in your house last time

Jyn: Didn't. Bought from the neighbours.


Bodhi: you know what? I really don't want to know more

Jyn: there's a wholesale dude living in the next apartment. Whole sells everything. You need something, anything, you go to him.

Bodhi: are you bullshitting me or are you serious?

Bodhi: why can't you go to him again?

Jyn: can't, he's kind of creepy now.

Bodhi: this was just LAST YEAR

Jyn: well, people change. Leia was my best friend an hour ago.

Bodhi: if I'm gonna do this I'm going to need something huge in return

Jyn: Shoot.

Bodhi: hmm

Bodhi: i'll ask on movie night

Jyn: oh who's hosting movie night?

Bodhi: your ex wouldn't like it

Jyn: my ex??

Bodhi: well you broke up with leia didn't you

Jyn: My ex best friend you mean

Bodhi: idk you call each other wife

Jyn: That's just something girls do, Bodhi

Jyn: fuck HAN'S hosting it??

Jyn: wait you didn't seriously think the wife thing was real did you?

Bodhi: han is the best movie night host a little respect please

Bodhi: lando thought it was serious lool and he went around telling everyone but shara whacked his ass about it and he was silenced

Jyn: dear God guys are so stupid

Jyn: lando is stupid

Jyn: I'm going to whack his ass too

Jyn: wait is this why Han started avoiding me at Christmas last year??

Jyn: He was jealous omg I'm so gonna tell leia

Bodhi: aren't you more concerned cassian thinks you're gay tho?




Bodhi: omg LOOOL

Bodhi: you fell for it!

Bodhi: haha this is gooooold

Bodhi: you soo like him


Bodhi: jyn?

Bodhi: hey where'd you go

Bodhi: it was just a joke I'm sorry


Bodhi: sis please

Bodhi: i'll bring you extra cheetos on movie night



Chapter Text

5.00 a.m Han created group Dicks lol

Han: Now you all probably wanna know why you're here

Ezra: it's 5 in the morning

Han: Yeah but you turned up so that kinda defeats the point

Ezra: goodnight

Han: Hey!

Han: Some friend you are

Cassian: What is it, Han?

Han: I made a group without leia and all your girlfriends

Han: Because some things we can't say with them around.

Cassian: Am I going to like these things?

Han: We aren't savages but we still gotta complain.

Cassian: Complain to Lando on private, and leave us out of it.

Han: You're an amazing bloody friend has anyone ever told you that?

Han: Anyway, I'm sure they have a chat without us.

Han: So who's coming for movie night?



Han: Chuckie it is then.

Cassian changed group name to Guys

Sabine looked up as another customer walked in, cursing that th whole neighbourhood rushed for tea on Saturday mornings. She wasn't used to the café's routine. But her unregistered home-based tattoo parlour was in danger of being discovered with that old couple who'd moved in downstairs, so she had to run a real job until she found a venue for a newer, more expensive and legal tattoo parlour.

The scowl that had almost permanently fixated on her face ever since she took up the new job lifted as soon as she registered the familiar face. Dark, stunning eyelashes and curly hair that attracted a lot of jealousy, plus really cool clothes. She caught her attention and waved.

"Hey," greeted Shara, leaning for an awkwardly-angled hug over the counter. Probably a bad idea with all the crowd, but Sabine didn't care about her job enough for that. "Just thought I'd drop in. When's your shift over?"

Sabine pulled a face. "In the afternoon. I only get to leave this miserable place for lunch."

Shara looked sympathetic. "That sucks. Wanna go out for lunch?"

Sabine grinned at once. "Hell yeah. What about Kes, though? Don't you normally save Saturdays for him?"

Shara snorted. "He's planning a surprise for me."

Sabine raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Yeah. He was talking to someone on the phone and it was really loud. We're going to Disneyland."

"Okay, much as it sucks that you found out, that's really sweet."

"I know, I love him. So lunch at two?"

Sabine rolled her eyes. "I'll be dead by two."


"That sounds amazing. You gonna buy something, or...?"

Shara considered the quickly disappearing items in the shelves. "Donuts to cheer Leia up?"

"Why does she need cheering up?"

"She says she had a fallout with Jyn, who apparently destroyed their friendship by suggesting she liked Han."

Sabine whistled, and tried not to roll her eyes. "Right. One Boston Creme for 0.99."

Group Chat: Guys

Kes: Yourll I have a question

Kay: *y'all. Abbreviated form of you+all.

Kay: Why have I been added to this group?

Kes: that's a really good question

Luke: Now don't be mean

Kes: he's literally the one who asked why

Kay: I will inform Cassian that you have a problem to consult about. Goodbye.

Kes: thank you?

Ezra: guy's a robot I swear

Luke: We really need to meet up

Ezra: I miss you too :(

Kes: ew guys y'all cheesy as hell

Luke: He lives in a different state, Kes, you should miss him as well!

Luke: What happened to friendship?

Kes: Okay gee I miss you but must you be so cheesy

Ezra: Were I a lesser man I would've said 'fuck you'

Kes: Haha now I miss you for real

Cassian: Kay said there was a problem?

Kes: Did you follow my advice yet?

Cassian: puta madre, not now

Ezra: What advice? Kes gives advice now?

Kes: I'm pretty much the only hope these losers have for relationship advice

Ezra: Cassian's in a relationship?? IM MISSING OUT ON SO MUCH

Luke: wait you're in a relationship?!

Cassian: No

Cassian: Isn't there something we should be talking about?

Luke: oops totally forgot

Luke: What were you saying, Kes?

Kes: Oh yeah, sorry

Kes: So I have this surprise planned for Shara

Ezra: Who's cheesy now lol

Kes: haha very funny

Cassian: Are you sure it's still a surprise? Last time you tried to 'surprise' her she was waiting at the door like she expected it

Kes: Look there's NO WAY she could've found out this time

Luke: So what's the surprise?

Kes: I planned a trip to disneyland

Luke: That's so cute!

Kes: Holy hell kid

Ezra: omg you're such a sap

Cassian: So what's the issue here?

Kes: nngh

Kes: I hate you guys

Luke: :3

Kes: there's no ISSUE it's just a question damn you cass

Cassian: I haven't forgotten about yesterday

Cassian: And there's always an issue with you

Kes: Someone had to talk you out of your ridiculous love life crisis

Kes: Anyway, my question

Ezra: since when did cassian have a love life?? I'm missing SO MUCH

Luke: Wait Cassian you never told us!

Cassian: You're not wrong, I don't have a love life. Now what the hell do you want, Kes?

Kes: Hijo de puta

Ezra: English please

Kes: Son of a bitcg

Luke: omg guys CALM DOWN

Cassian: Okay but seriously, what's the question?

Kes: Fine

Kes: Do you know any good place for like rings and stuff

Ezra: nose rings?

Kes: Why on EARTH would you think that

Ezra: sabine threatened to give me a nose piercing in my sleep

Ezra: it was terrifying. Kanan didn't even object.

Luke: Wait

Luke: Disneyland+ring = ?

Cassian: KES?

Kes: Guys just tell me where I can buy a ring from



Kes: Well I would've but it was awkward

Kes: Actually this is even more awkward

Kes: I was hoping you wouldn't figure it out

Ezra: well I didn't . you have to be more specific when you say ring

Luke: Ezra you're the only one who has that problem

Luke: And congratulations, this is amazing!

Kes: I haven't even asked yet

Luke: Idk about rings and stuff but I could ask Leia

Han: Ask Leia what?

Ezra: we summoned a demon everybody

Han: I get a notification when the word Leia is used on this group

Cassian: What...kind of feature is that

Han: Comes with the premium package

Luke: That's really weird and frankly, stalker-ish

Han: That's the only reason I made the group kid

Cassian: You paid five dollars for that feature?

Han: 5 dollars for the PACKAGE andor I spend my money wisely

Kes: Firstly that's a creepy ass feature

Kes: Secondly, about the ring? Does anyone care anymore?

Ezra: try sephora

Kes: Those attendants at sephora are like shara's scream queens they're going to tell her everything

Han: Scream queens?

Luke: So get it from their website

Han: What's a scream queen

Kes: You don't buy a wedding ring off a website, luke

Han: Why are you buying a wedding ring

Han: Ohh

Luke: I'll ask Leia for a good place

Cassian: Can't you just go to another sephora?

Kes: There are other sephoras?

Cassian: This is what happens when you grow up an only child

Kes: F you I thought you were my brother

Han: I hate to admit it but Leia is pretty much your only option

Han: And what's a scream queen?

Kes: nngh can Leia keep a secret?

Cassian: It's Shara she probably knows already

Kes: Keep this up and I'm going to tell everyone YOUR secret


Cassian: Tell them that and I will confirm to Shara what she already knows

Kes: That is so unfair

Han: Why is nobody telling me anything!

Luke: So can I ask Leia?

Kes: Yeah but say Cassian is asking

Cassian: Don't you dare

Kes: Chill, she broke up with Jyn

Luke: Huh?

Han: What does Jyn have to do with any of this?

Kes: Whoops

Kes: Shit gotta go

Ezra: what did I miss?

Luke: I have no idea

Han: Nobody tells me anything!

Han: And also don't remind me because Jyn and Leia were never a thing fucking Lando made that up

Han: I can't believe we fell for it

Ezra: you fell for it?

Luke: were the only one who fell for it

Han: What?!

Han: Fuck that's it I'm kicking him out

Han: Bye, traitor

Han removed Lando

Han: Anybody else wants to go?

Private Chat: Han, Leia

Han: Hey Leia can I ask you something?

Han: What's a scream queen?

Han: And is there something going on between jyn and cassian?



Leia: I have no idea what you're talking about

Leia: Where did you pick up that term?

Han: Kes said somethin

Han: Attendants at sephora are shara's scream queens apparently

Leia: Wait, really?

Leia: That's so cool

Han: What does that mean, minions or something?

Leia: Something like that.

New Window: Private Chat: Leia, Jyn

Leia: JYN

Leia: Get your ass here NOW

Han: K thanks

Han: Don't know if anyone told you, but movie night's at my place this Wednesdsy

Han: *Wednesday

Jyn: Oh, so we're friends now?

Leia: Omg shut up Jyn this is important

Jyn: Well if you want me to shut up

Leia: Look, Han's massaging me

Jyn: Um ew I don't wanna know


Leia: Now that you mention it, that's a pretty image...

Jyn: I only exchange voyeuristic sentiments with people I'm friends with

Leia: I hate you when I'm trying to tell you something important

Leia: Cool

Leia: What's the movie?

Han: Well we were planning on watching a creepy doll movie

Leia: One of those cheap horror flicks?

Han: A horror classic

Leia: How did you do that?

Han: Asked the guys, they didn't have a problem with it

Leia: I seriously doubt everyone consented to watching that

Leia: And I was talking about the italics

Han: Why do you doubt that? It's a good pick for movie night, everyone's either going to have fun laughing or get scared and wet themselves

Han: Everyone will be involved

Han: That's what makes me such a good host

Leia: I'm pretty sure you picked the movie on your own. Luke and Cassian are way too cultured to watch that third rate crap.

Han: Italics come with the premium package

Leia: And Bodhi wouldn't have said yes unless you bullied him into it

Han: Well excuse me, princess

Han: Classic horrors aren't uncultured

Han: And what makes you think I don't consider what other people say?

Leia: Are you seriously asking me that question?

Jyn: Fine, what's happening?

Leia: Took you some time

Leia: Han just asked me if there's something happening between you and Cassian

Jyn: What?

Jyn: Why would he think that?

Leia: Exactly, it's very one sided if anything

Leia: And there's no way he could know about the stuff you tell me

Jyn: Wow fuck you Leia

Leia: By one sided I mean he doesn't give anything away alright? Guy's like some kind of secret agent, no personal effects

Jyn: Cassian's playlist has more personality than Han's fucking jackets

Leia: Ha yeah defend your man

Jyn: It's the bloody truth

Leia: But how the hell does Han know??

Jyn: Please don't tell me he has access to your phone

Leia: Why tf would I give anyone access to my phone

Jyn: Some couples do that and it's frankly really stupid

Leia: I'm going to ignore the grave error in that thing you just said

Jyn: Look, the only way anyone could find out is through one of us, and nobody betrays the fraternity

Leia: It's Han

Leia: What if he seduced someone to tell him our secrets?

Jyn: ugh I don't want to imagine Han Solo seducing someone

Leia: You're right, Cassian Andor would do a better job

Jyn: Fuck

Jyn: Omg

Jyn: Thank you for delicious images

Leia: Haha no problem sweetheart

Leia: Are we even now?

Jyn: Yeess

Jyn: Send screenshots

Leia: Aahh I love you♡

Han: Since when have I been inconsiderate?

Leia: Remember when you had to cover Lando's shift but you were too busy with your own entertainment?

Leia: And when you were supposed to contract Sabine for that mural but you just gave it to that cheap guy?

Leia: Oh, not to mention those shitty new fixtures you installed in the common room without asking anyone.

Han: Seriously, that's what you're going to bring up?

Han: What are you, my moral compass? Some kind of angel keeping track of shit that I do?

Han: I never do anything that isn't completely justified

Leia: Haha

Han: I got you that interview, didn't I?

Leia: You mean you told that sleazy guy that he'd get to hit on a pretty brunette who looks like his ex?

Han: Your agency wanted the interview and I got you the fucking interview what the hell does it matter how?

Leia: Don't know if you've figured this out, laser brain, but some things are socially accepted as 'unethical'

Han: Well it's not like he got to do any damage anyway!

Leia: He tried to GROPE me, idiot!

Han: Tried to

Leia: Oh I see

Leia: You're one of those men

Han: Hey hold on now

Han: You think I'd support the guy if he actually did anything?

Leia: Whether you try to grope a woman or successfully grope a woman you're a shitty masochist

Han: Can't go to courts with that

Leia: Please shut up

Leia: Han is being an asshole

Jyn: anything new?

Leia: I actually can't do this anymore

Leia: [IMAGE]

Leia: [IMAGE]

Leia: Tell me honestly, who's being unreasonable here?

Jyn: You know he kinda has to defend the guy right?

Jyn: Job and all

Leia: Yeah, like the guy's monitoring our conversation?

Jyn: Well yeah, he can afford to be honest with you...

Jyn: Oh come on you know he's not one of THOSE men

Jyn: He's just a little silly

Jyn: They don't always get it

Leia: Look I'm not going to start another feminism argument with him

Leia: If he comes up and says feminism is overrated ONE MORE TIME I swear I am going to kick him where it hurts

Jyn: Change the topic

Leia: That's admitting defeat and you know it

Jyn: No listen up

Jyn: Be subtle about it, like bring up movie night again

Jyn: And suggest watching a second movie

Leia: I am angry enough to kick him right now and you want me to talk about movie night?

Jyn: Calm down and think of how you'd totally destroy him in bed


Leia: Do NOT go there

Jyn: I'm not implying you like him geez

Jyn: Just imagine it you'll feel better

Leia: I HIGHLY doubt that

Jyn: As if you wouldn't take the opportunity to sleep with him

Leia: STOP

Jyn: Oh please, you've never considered it?

Jyn: He's not bad looking. Probably great at it but you're probably even better.

Leia: I hate that I'm enjoying the images you put in my head wtf Jyn

Leia: Shiit

Jyn: Hey you know what'd be funny?

Leia: Why the hell do I feel I'll be on board with this idea...

Jyn: I should accidentally send him a sext

Jyn: Meant for YOU

Leia: OMG

Leia: But he wouldn't believe it

Jyn: Well not a sext just something that'll rile him up

Jyn: You know he was actually jealous when Lando told him we were a thing?

Jyn: He believed it and he was JEALOUS


Jyn: Bodhi


Leia: Omg okay do it

Leia: I'll keep him occupied think of soemthing

Han: Fine, if it's all the same to you anyway

Han: I didn't say the guy had a right to do it, did I?

Leia: Why are you taking his side anyway?

Han: Hmm maybe to do with the fact that I WORK FOR HIM

Leia: Bullshit, like he can read your chats or something

Han: Look, no one paid the price for being extra careful, okay?

Leia: You don't make sense at all

Private Chat: Han, Jyn

Jyn: Do you want to meet up for drinks and go lingere shopping

Han: Um...what

Jyn: Ohh shit

Jyn: Sorry that was meant for Leia

Jyn: Oh God this is super embarrassing

Han: Uh huh yeah it is

Jyn: Look just pretend I never sent that OK?

Han: Sure

Jyn: Thanks

Jyn: Please delete it on your end then we can forget this happened

Han: Of course

Jyn: Thank you

Group Chat: Guys

Han: Something really weird just happened

Ezra: What is it

Han: Actually no

Han: Nevermind

Ezra: um okay

Private Chat: Han, Leia

Han: I was considering having two movies this time, actually.

Han: Do you have any preferences?

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Exclusive Territory

Leia: Hey everyone

Shara: Heyy

Sabine: sup guys

Hera: Hi

Leia: Wow almost everyone's here!

Shara: Btw are you and Jyn okay now?

Leia: Chill, I just threw some Cassian porn at her and we're cool

Sabine: Um...what???

Hera: OK now do I really want to know?

Shara: She means she put some dirty images in her head.

Hera: Why would you DO that?

Shara: Oh, it's an effective technique. Whenever I'm mad at him and leave him on read Kes just sends me a shirtless pic then we're cool again

Hera: Umm

Leia: Has Kanan not figured that out yet?

Hera: Please don't give him ideas

Leia: But it's a win-win situation

Hera: I would really rather not

Shara: Suit yourself. Keep it in mind for future ref, tho, it also works the other way around

Sabine: Omg guys stop talking about Kanan this is weird for me

Leia: Lool sorry

Jyn: Hi guys

Shara: We're talking about boyfriend porn

Jyn: Not sharing any of it I hope


Leia: Chill just imagine-porn, like yesterday

Jyn: Ohhh

Jyn: I'm invested now

Hera: You guys are so perverted

Leia: Trust me babe you haven't seen us in action just yet

Sabine: As long as you don't say anything explicit

Sabine: Or talk about certain body parts

Sabine: I'm serious


Leia: Let's plan this for a later date but does anyone want to go shopping together

Jyn: What kind of shopping do you have in mind? ;)

Hera: Why is there a winky face? Can someone explain the winky face?

Shara: Actually I'm out shopping right now

Sabine: How are you texting us?

Shara: Changing room

Shara: And no I'm not hogging it I'm like the only customer here

Jyn: Send picss

Leia: Omg yes please

Shara: Well idk

Shara: I'm just trying on bras, guys

Sabine: Those two are going to ask for Shara porn just wait for it

Leia: No we aren't

Jyn: Yes we are if it's sexy lingere



Hera: I hope no one else ever gets access to this chat...

Shara: [IMAGE]

Shara: [IMAGE]

Sabine: omg

Sabine: K I'm so jealous woww

Leia: OMG



Jyn: I don't know if it's the white lace or your amazing arms but I am shook

Hera: PRETTY:333

Hera: I hope your automatic backup is off though or it'll get stored online


Shara: 'course, mom

Leia: Kes is so lucky adfkjj

Shara: I'm gonna buy this one then?

Leia: Buy it and a red version if they have it

Sabine: Oh red would look really good

Jyn: R E D

Shara: I'll ask them, good idea!

Leia: See this is why need to go shopping together

Leia: You can ask everyone's opinion

Jyn: You know the only opinion she needed for that one was Kes's right?

Leia: Where's the fun in that?

Leia: Also she wouldn't even get to surprise him if he's the one she asked

Jyn: no room for surprises when you share a closet space, leia

Leia: He doesn't look in her UNDERWEAR drawer

Sabine: Stop that thought now

Jyn: How would you know that?

Leia: LIMITS exist yk!

Jyn: tbh you invalidate all those limits when you strip in front of another person

Sabine: Pls stop

Shara: You guys talking about strip teases?

Shara: Oh no kes stays away from my underwear drawer but he does know everything I own

Hera: TMI


Shara: Guys that's NOT what I meant

Leia: I am considering your implied offer of teaching us how to do strip teases


Jyn: And who you gonna use it on, Leia? ;)

Leia: Jyn

Leia: Wifey

Leia: Please don't make me block your number

Jyn: Come on just admit it

Sabine: 1) I don't want a class on how to strip

Leia: Idk why you think I like that ASSHOLE!

Sabine: 2) it'll make everyone's lives a lot easier if you just admitted you like 'that asshole'

Hera: Don't be so harsh on him

Jyn: Don't be so harsh on the poor asses

Shara: Which asses?

Jyn: the cute donkey things did no wrong

Sabine: Say it, Leia

Sabine: Say "I have a crush on han solo" come on say it

Leia: No way in HELL do I have a CRUSH on him ffs

Jyn: Okay, fine

Jyn: Admit that you're at least attracted to him

Leia: This is the worst betrayal

Shara: You aren't? Not even sexually?

Leia: TF, GUYS

Leia: OKAY

Leia: But only because he's hot

Leia: Which is completely justifiable and you can't blame me for it

Leia: But he's still an asshole




Shara: I can finally breathe now

Shara: See, was that so hard?

Leia: I hate you all

Leia: But just because he's an asshole with sex appeal doesn't mean I actually like him

Hera: Can we keep the swearing at a minimum, please?

Shara: AH with sex appeal, I like that term

Hera: Swearing in short form is still swearing, Shara

Leia: How come no one ever bugs Jyn? It's not fair

Jyn: Because I don't deny anything? Hah

Shara: So you admit you have a crush on Cassian?


Leia: D E N I A L

Shara: Yep sounds like denial

Jyn: Look

Jyn: You can't judge me

Jyn: He's hot that's all

Leia: Are you sure that's all?

Leia: He's super sweet

Leia: Openly feminist

Leia: Decent and funny

Jyn: So?

Leia: It actually makes sense to like him

Jyn: Doesn't mean I do

Leia: He's an angel with sex appeal


Shara: Kes just shot me a funny look

Sabine: Please take the phone somewhere else

Sabine: I don't want to think about if kes accidentally sees this

Shara: And finds out Jyn's thirsty for his cousin loool

Jyn: @Leia you started this bs

Shara: You both are sooo thirsty XD

Leia: In our defense we aren't SECRETLY MARRIED to a hot guy

Shara:We're NOT secretly married

Jyn: Ofc you'd say that, if it was a secret

Shara: You're right about the hot part, though

Sabine: AGAIN, TMI


Shara: Perverts, the lot of you

Leia: Only because we like images of your toned arms, sweetheart

Sabine: Congratulations

Sabine: You are now part of Leia's mental porn reserve

Shara: Honoured. Really.

Jyn: You've been the centerpiece of my reserve for years love


Leia: I like my Shara porn the best

Shara: Awh

Shara: ilysm♡♡

Sabine: I still think of you with dignity

Shara: Honey for that ily even more

Shara: I have an idea

Shara: Well it's not my idea

Shara: But let's go shopping this Sunday?

Sabine: Sure!

Leia: I think I'm free so YES


Hera: So the conversation is decent again

Hera: I think I'll be able to make it

Sabine: But I am not entering a lingere store with you lot

Leia: Oh come ON

Sabine: I don't even like anyone

Sabine: Perfectly comfortable in the stuff I own

Sabine: And you're going to do something embarrassing like take pornographic mirror selfies

Shara: Lol I only did it today because of peer pressure!

Jyn: I wouldn't do that

Leia: What if we "accidentally" send said selfies to Cassian?


Jyn: Can you stop giving me stupid ideas??

Jyn: No way in hell

Leia: Oh but he'd love it


Hera: Leia, you know Jyn is easily influenced

Jyn: HEY!

Leia: [IMAGE]

Leia: Can I send this one?

Jyn: Omg stop sharing my porn on the group

Sabine: That's not porn, it's a crop top

Sabine: And you look pretty good in it

Leia: Can I post it on IG then Cassian will see

Jyn: I sent you that picture in CONFIDENCE

Leia: Yes, and your abs look great in it

Shara: Holyy shit that's GORGEOUS

Shara: Also, didn't know you had abs!!! Woooww

Leia: If Shara approves that's end of discussion

Hera: Guys if Jyn doesn't want you to post it, don't post it

Jyn: Wait

Jyn: Shara are you being serious?

Shara: OFC I'm being serious!

Shara: I'm offended

Jyn: Ugh

Jyn: Fine post it


Leia: Why not

Jyn: I have a reputation

Jyn: And delete as soon as he's seen it

Leia: Why are you like this?

Leia: Reputation my ass it's probably the prettiest thing you've ever worn

Jyn: I hate you

Leia: I know, sweetheart

Jyn: Want me to post one for Han?

Leia: Omg yes

Jyn: [IMAGE]

Shara: Pretty sure I've seen that before

Jyn: You got any good ones?

Jyn: [IMAGE]


Leia: Ew no, my face looks weird

Sabine: What are you even talking about??

Shara: [IMAGE]

Leia: Is that from Greece?

Leia: I thought I lost all my Greece pics

Shara: I still got the ones you sent me

Sabine: Woah

Sabine: I like that even better

Jyn: [IMAGE]

Jyn: I mostly chose this bc Luke looks adorable as Will Turner but you look kinda good too

Hera: Is that Luke?? HE LOOKS SO CUTE!

Sabine: Aww

Leia: Wait can you send a pic from that party without Luke?


Sabine: so sweet and pure my heart

Jyn: [IMAGE]

Jyn: [IMAGE]

Hera: You guys are the CUTEST

Sabine: Awwww

Shara: Okay, this is more cute than sexy, but I love Leia in the second one. Your cheekbones look perfect. Beautiful neck exposure too. And your calves are really nice.

Shara: Also, pirate outfit! I'm pretty sure guys love pirates and things. That's one awesome pirate outfit.

Jyn: Well it would be sexy if you were on your own but Luke kissing your cheek is the most adorable thing ever

Jyn: I think that'll make Han a little jealous too


Jyn: Oh brothers make them jealous trust me

Jyn: Idk why but that's a fact

Leia: How the hell

Shara: Maybe because you hang out with your brother more than you'll ever hang out with him

Shara: And because girls are comfortable around their brothers but not as much around other guys most of the time

Sabine: That's...kinda true?

Leia: Well idk

Leia: It's a nice picture though

Jyn: Post?

Leia: Yeah and tag both of us

Jyn: Okay!

Shara: I really want to know what goes on in Han's mind when you slay like that...

Jyn: *whispers* p o r n


Leia: But yes

Leia: It better make him want things he can never have.

Chapter Text

Group Chat: Guys

Luke: [IMAGE]

Luke: guyss look at what jyn posted

Luke: it's from lando's costume party last year!

Luke: it's by far like the best one I've seen of us

Luke: I'm thinking of framing it for leia's birthday present

Bodhi: It's really sweet

Bodhi: who were you dressed up as tho?

Bodhi: oh and did you see the one of Jyn? she looks so pretty my sis

Luke: Will Turner

Bodhi: who dat

Luke: um pirates of the carribean Will Turner

Bodhi: oh

Bodhi: I've never really watched those

Luke: Whattt

Luke: What was your childhood

Luke: Yeah jyn looks really cool in that one

Han: Notifications brought me here

Bodhi: holy shit!

Han: I can do jump scares on group chats? Interesting

Luke: Did you see the pic of me and Leia?

Han: Yeah

Han: Cute, kid

Han: What were you though?


Luke: was my costume really that bad??

Han: I never really liked Will

Luke: you are not my friend anymore goodbye

Han: Who was Leia as?

Luke: Just a pirate

Luke: Actually she said she wanted to be a space pirate. Not sure what that's supposed to look like.

Han: OK

Han: Look I don't know if I should tell you this, but I think the leia/jyn thing might not be so far fetched after all

Luke: HAN nope no more conspiracy theories we have already established that it's false

Bodhi: We never thought it was real in the first place

Cassian: I thought everyone knew that Lando was making it up?

Han: There could've been some truth in it

Cassian: Whatever

Han: Hear me out ok?

Han: This morning they both post pictures of each other

Luke: So?

Han: Listen

Han: Last night Jyn sent me a message on accident

Luke: why am I still here listening to this

Han: I think they were planning to go out

Cassian: You do realize that "going out" is something they do anyway?

Han: Well they weren't going out in that sense, for a movie or anything!

Han: Okay this is weird

Han: But you're not going to believe me if I don't tell you

Luke: I don't think we're gonna believe you no matter what you say

New Window: Private Chat: Luke, Bodhi

Bodhi: dude bit of an emergency here

Luke: Why what's wrong?

Bodhi: you forgot to tell leia I was added to that group didn't you

Luke: oh

Luke: oh my God I'm so sorry

Luke: I'll tell her at once

Bodhi: NO DON'T

Bodhi: they've already talked too much they're going to KILL me if they find out I've been on the group this whole time

Bodhi: I swear I don't read their chats but I've accidentally seen some of it

Bodhi: which I'm definitely not supposed to see

Luke: oh god

Luke: this is bad. Like really bad.

Bodhi: what if they find out??

Luke: shikes I don't know

Luke: oh god I hope they don't

Bodhi: I really need to get out I'm really not supposed to see any of it

Cassian: Fine, what was in the message?

Kes: Hi peasants

Kes: Wait @Han you're not serious right?

Han: Guys. Jyn asked Leia if she wanted to go out for drinks and then lingere shopping

Han: I am not being perverted, that's exactly what she asked

Kes: ...

Kes: Okay that is pretty weird

Kes: But Shara's friends can be pretty weird

Han: Yeah but this is something we've been hearing about since last Christmas

Han: And Lando knows stuff, alright? He doesn't just say things

Kes: Well he's normally credible

Kes: Idk what to believe

Cassian: We're missing the most likely explanations here don't you think?

Kes: But Shara told me it wasn't true

Han: You really think they tell us everything?

Cassian: You're overthinking this

Han: What part of lingere shopping doesn't spell suggestive to you

Cassian: I'm pretty they shop together for various things, Han. I wouldn't be surprised if that's another thing.

Han: Look why would they exclusively shop that? They're not even seeing anyone

Cassian: Which brings us to the other explanation, maybe they are.

Han: No

Han: Okay no way. We would know about it.

Cassian: Not neccessarily

Cassian: It's none of our business

Han: Shit, Andor

Han: That's even worse

Han: Fuck

Han: Is there a real chance of that?

Han: @Luke do you know anything about this?

New Window: Private Chat: Kes, Cassian

Kes: Hey do you really think Jyn is seeing someone?

Kes: I mean it could even be just leia

Cassian: I don't know

Kes: I'll ask Shara?

Cassian: If Jyn didn't tell us, she doesn't want us to know

Kes: Dude I know you're upset about this

Kes: And it's okay to be

Kes: But shouldn't you know if it's true first?

Cassian: It's going to be so much worse if I find out it's true

Kes: Joder

Kes: You're right

Kes: I won't ask.

Kes: You okay?

Cassian: I'm fine

Cassian: Really. Don't worry.

Kes: Ok.

Cassian: You think the picture leia posted has anything to do with it?

Kes: You're really not fine, are you?

Cassian: What did you expect?

Kes: Fuck

Kes: Okay I'm coming over

Cassian: Please don't

Kes: With tequila

Cassian: Thank you.

Kes: Anytime

Private Chat: Han, Lando

Han: Idc if you never come online but you'd better answer me this time asshole

7:23 p.m Group Chat: Exclusive Territory

Sabine: I hate old people

Sabine: mostly

Shara: Is this about your neighbours?

Sabine: ugh they're such a pain in the ass!

Sabine: I'm so frustrated rn

Shara: Didn't they sign your form?

Sabine: haven't got that far

Sabine: but today she came to my place and tried to talk me out of doing tattoos

Sabine: said it wasn't 'ethical'

Sabine: and I said I don't KIDNAP people and draw on them wtf

Sabine: and she was like yeah but later in life they regret it?? WTF?

Shara: Don't let them bother you, honey

Shara: And your landlord approves right?

Sabine: I want to get my own place to run my business anyway

Sabine: I only want to have it here for a couple more months or else I'll lose my reputation

Sabine: and I need the money

Shara: Would they really complain tho? This old lady doesn't seem the malicious type

Sabine: they're old ppl, Shara. Lots of free time.

Sabine: @Hera can you proofread the thing I sent you

Shara: Maybe you can sweet-talk them?

Shara: Visit with a cake or something

Sabine: they're not gonna like that if they're diabetic

Shara: Sweetheart please

Shara: Don't be so negative

Shara: Try to get along with them, I'm sure they won't mind your business then

Hera: @Sabine sure, hon

Sabine: THANK YOU:33

Sabine: you're the best

Sabine: How long will you need?

Hera: Just got home, give me till tomorrow morning?

Shara: Watcha talking about

Sabine: Letter to the old ppl listing why I can run my tattoo parlour

Shara: Can you really? Without a, yk, license

Sabine: shhhh

Hera: Lol

Hera: Actually it's a letter requesting license

Sabine: lies

Sabine: I don't operate within the law

Hera: sure, hon. Maybe don't ask a lawyer to proofread your letter next time?

Shara: lol you guys

Hera: I really gtg

Hera: Bye, loves!

Sabine: bye, ilysm♡

Shara: See ya later kween

Hera smiled at her screen before switching it off, then reaching into her pockets for the house keys. She walked into the living room to find all its lights turned on and a pleasant smell wafting from the kitchen nearby.

Her smile grew more pronounced, subtly delighted. She loved coming home exactly for surprises like this.

She'd almost made it into the kitchen before she was tackled from behind.

"Kanan," she exclaimed, trying not to laugh too hard as her fiancé kissed up and down the side of her neck, arms locked in a hold around her waist that she couldn't break. "Oh my God, stop- stop."

He titled his head to a side, giving her a little bit of breathing room, and inquired, "Hard day at the office?"

She grinned, leaning forward for a quick peck on the lips that he eagerly tried to follow. "No more than usual. What's this?"

"This," Kanan answered, sounding no small degree of pleased with himself, "is the result of two hours of YouTube cooking videos. You're welcome. Happy anniversary, by the way."

Hera froze. No way. She couldn't have possibly forgotten. "It's...It's today? I thought..."

But Kanan was wearing a shit-eating grin when she next looked at him, and her shock of guilt turned into an unamused scowl.

"And here I thought you were being sweet."

He hummed non-committally. "When's our anniversary, love?"

Hera bit into her lower lip and treated him to a smile she hoped came off as clever, like he was asking because he couldn't remember. In actuality she wished she could answer that question without looking at her phone calender.

Kanan raised an eyebrow, but she was relieved to find he only looked amused and a little pleased with her bad acting, but not hurt. Never hurt. He didn't need any of the typical things to affirm that she loved him. They didn't do anniversaries, Valentine's days or cutesy couple things. They didn't need to.

"I love you," said Hera, instinctively.

He ducked his head, hiding a smile. "I know."

She snorted. "Two hours of cooking vids, huh? You wouldn't do that if you weren't smitten for me."

"Oh, I'm smitten," he bent to kiss her. "And admit it, you are, too. That's why you're wearing that ring."

"It's a nice ring," said Hera, but ran a thumb over the ring nevertheless, fighting back a smile as she thought of the day she'd seen it the first time.

She followed him to where he'd laid out an impressive spread on their dining table- impressive in a very loose sense of the word, but impressive anyway considering who was responsible for it. He'd made two different (oval-shaped, unevenly-crusted) pizzas and a bowl of fruit salad, accompanied on the side by a store-bought cake. A cake dripping chocolate with little hearts arranged at the top. This decoration likely done at home. She had to pause and take in a breath.

Kanan emerged at her shoulder. "I'm sure it tastes better than it looks."

She spun around immediately, throwing her arms around his neck and crashing her lips to his fiercely. She kissed him relentlessly until he made a small noise at the back of his throat, then pulled back to sink her teeth gently into his lower lip.

"Thank you," she said, a little breathlessly. "It looks amazing. Thank you."

(She had flattering comments about every item, generous enough with her praise that he actually started looking embarrassed. Embarrassed Kanan was a rare thing. She liked to think she brought out the best in him.)

Dinner was still in progress when he raised an important question.

"When do we plan on telling everyone?"

Hera looked over the rim of her glass. "We've...already told them?"

Her fiancé rolled his eyes fondly. "Not about the engagement. You know. The actual wedding."

"The wedding," Hera smiled, put her drink down. "Yeah. Um. We have to formally invite them, right?"

Kanan ran a hand through his hair, a nervous tic since he'd cut it short. "We didn't even tell them there was going to be a wedding."

"Okay. Well." She pursed her lips. "Let's get them all in one place and break the news."

He winced. "That'll be difficult to schedule and you know it."

They settled into an award silence.

"How about movie night?"

Kanan looked up. "Everyone's going for it?"

Hera rolled her eyes fondly. "Everyone always goes, love."


She laughed. "Yeah, seriously. They don't all have strict working hours."

He mulled it over. "Sounds good. Where are they having it?"

"Han's place."

"So Leia isn't going to be there."

Hera almost chortled. "No, she's making an exception for movie night. Don't worry, she's mature enough to admit now that she doesn't hate him."

Or that she's attracted to assholes with sex appeal.

Hera blinked.

Damn it, guys.

"Okay," Kanan reached across the table, took her hand. "Call Han and inform him we'll be there?"

She squeezed gently, loving every bit of warmth in the contact, in his eyes.

"Of course."

Private Chat: Han, Lando

Lando: How nice to hear from you again

Lando: I recall recently being removed from a group you made?

Han: That's because you lied to me

Lando: Leia and Jyn? I'm still pretty sure they're a thing.

Han: Fuck off

Han: There's a bigger problem now

Lando: And why should I help you?

Han: This is why they say friendship is dead

Lando: Fine, what do you want?

Han: I need to know if Leia is dating anyone

Han: And for fuck's sake don't come up with that 'its jyn' nonsense

Han: Because we have established that it isn't

Lando: So you want me to investigate?

Han: Yeah

Lando: Name your price

Han: We are not roleplaying

Lando: Lol okay but you have to buy me drinks

Han: Okay. Thanks.

Han: Seriously, thanks.

Lando: Don't mention it. The drinks will be pricey.

Chapter Text

Private Chat: Leia, Jyn

Jyn: bbg what time is movie night?



Leia: 7.30

Leia: How are you getting there?

Jyn: Bodhi said he could drive me. You taking anyone?

Leia: Sab and Shara

Jyn: Sounds fun

Leia: Yup, we're going to take the long route on purpose so we can listen to our playlist

Jyn: THE playlist?

Leia: The one and only.

Jyn: Awesome

Leia: What're you gonna wear?

Jyn: remember the rose gold crop top and the shorts you got for my birthday

Leia: YES

Leia: Finally!

Jyn: well now that you remember it

Jyn: I'm wearing my tony stark tshirt

Leia: I hate you

Leia: This is why you aren't making strides with anyone

Jyn: Shut up

Leia: Why do you never take my advice?

Jyn: Pretty shit is not my style

Jyn: I will sacrifice my style for no man

Leia: You're the worst

Leia: You do know that it's not so much a 'sacrifice' as a trap in the right circumstances?

Jyn: OK then let's just say I'm not desperate enough to set traps

Jyn: Are you going to set any kind of trap tonight?

Leia: Hah. If only he was deserving.

Jyn: You did say he was hot

Leia: A lot of hot people are assholes, and undeserving

Leia: And FYI he's not hot enough to bypass the assholery

Jyn: Whatever that helps you sleep at night

Jyn: if it's 7:30 I'd better get going

Leia: Can you at LEAST wear the cute shorts?

Jyn: Isn't it an odd combo

Leia: Would look cute. Specially if he's into Marvel

Leia: Which we know he is

Leia: Wait a minute

Leia: This IS a trap isn't it?

Jyn: girlfriend I think you watch too many rom-coms

Jyn: And no, he's a DC person

Leia: Ugh

Leia: Of course he is

Leia: Dark and depressing

Jyn: mostly

Jyn: not all the time though

Leia: Ik, he's a ray of sunshine sometimes

Jyn: i was actually talking about DC comics in general but ok

Leia:Oh yeahh, how many in your collection now?

Jyn: 14. can’t afford I mostly borrow.

Jyn: I'll wear the shorts if I havent outgrown them


Jyn: weight gain happens

Leia: Weight gain my ass, you just don't want to dress like a human being.

Jyn: & if they're not too short

Jyn: a wedgie in cute shorts is still a wedgie

Leia: You're trying really hard, aren't you?

Jyn: I'm supplying legitimate reasons to not wear those shorts

Leia: Next time I'm not getting you a birthday present. It'll hardly ever get used, if at all, so what's the point?

Jyn: there is a very simple solution to our problem:

Jyn: buy me stuff I will actually make use of

Leia: If you actually listened to me you'd get dates more often.

Jyn: that would make sense if you went on any dates yourself

Leia: Hey I get offers. You know I just turn them down.

Jyn: oh deer I wonder why

Jyn: yk if you were as proficient in the art of wooing men as you say you are you'd have snagged han a long time ago

Leia: Han is stupid

Leia: The normal rules don't apply to him

Leia: And who said he's the reason I'm sacrificing dates?

Jyn: mm keep telling yourself that babe

Leia: You are such a pain in the ass

Jyn: But I'm your pain in the ass

Jyn: And it's a nice ass so I have no problem being a pain in it

Leia: haha ily

Jyn: I gtg, need to get ready for tonight

Jyn: byee

Leia: Bye love!

Jyn: See ya


Private Chat: Jyn, Bodhi

Jyn: Hey bodhs we good to go tonight?

Bodhi: Hii

Bodhi: yep, my place at 6?

Jyn: That's early

Bodhi: I adopted another cat I want to introduce you

Jyn: You did??

Jyn: Bodhs you're the best!

Jyn: is it a he or a she?

Bodhi: why don't you come over and find out :P

Jyn: ugh you're killing me

Jyn: it's been so long since I last played with a cat

Bodhi: bc you haven't been 2 my place in 3 wks

Jyn: ik, I'm sorry

Bodhi: nvm , you've been busy

Bodhi: also

Bodhi: I'm not feeling very creative so you can name it too, if you want

Jyn: Yess

Jyn: Thank you!

Bodhi: np :)


Of the handful of places Jyn dared to familiarise herself with, Bodhi's building was the closest thing that came to a second home. Her own flat wasn't much; it provided accommodation, a fridge and a bathroom, which was more or less all she needed to get by as an adult in her early 20s without any requirements but those at a personal level. But Bodhi had at least one other mouth to feed besides his own, and his apartment was a little more spacious, bright and comfortable. She'd taken to spending most of her weekends there in recent years.

Bodhi's 'one other mouth to feed' was perched on the stair railing that ran parallel to the apartment's door and gazing at her with twinkling, piercing green eyes. It mewled in recognition and offered its ears for scratching, which she did, but that was about all the affection the black cat was willing to entertain. It turned away from her and jumped down to the railing below.

"Proud as ever, Imp," Jyn called after it, before ringing the doorbell and hanging back. Bodhi answered only after a minute had passed.

"Sorry, but the new one was scratching my curtains," he offered an apologetic smile. "Come in. I'd give you a hug, but then we'd both be covered in fur."

Jyn gave him a one-armed hug nevertheless, making him laugh and reciprocate hesitantly, before making her way in with a familiarity that always felt pleasant.

She wasted no time in looking around, but there was no sign of a curtain-scratching cat. She payed attention when Bodhi started calling for his new pet.

A soft-looking ginger head peeked out from behind the curtains and Jyn felt her heart melt. The new cat freaking adorable. It was ginger-mixed-white with bright green eyes and a patch of white fur on its forehead, and it was looking between herself and Bodhi inquisitively.

She dropped to her knees and crawled closer to it, carefully holding out a hand and making soothing noises. Bodhi chose to stand and watch with a hint of amusement on his face.

She easily coaxed the cat out from behind the curtains, scooping it up gently as she got to her feet. The ginger appeared alarmed for a moment, but she stroked its head slowly and it made a few noises before relaxing in her arms. She held it like one would hold a child.

"She's beautiful," she whispered to Bodhi, afraid of making a noise that would startle the cat. "Where'd you find her?"

"Behind my building." Bodhi sighed. "She was pretty bad off. Dirty and hungry. I've been feeding her for the past week, took her to the vet as well. Quick recovery, though."

The cat purred as if in question, and Jyn ran her fingers through the top of its head again. "You're safe now, sweetheart. Bodhi's going to take good care of you."

The cat started to stretch, purring loudly, and it curled in on itself to sleep the moment Jyn set it down. She raised an eyebrow. "Naps a lot?"

"Kind of like me," laughed Bodhi. "I can't wait to show her to Luke, he's going to go crazy. But since you got here first, I suppose you can name her."

"I can't think of one off the top of my head," protested Jyn. "Give me some time."

"You have to give me one before Luke does, Jyn, or I'll have to choose between the two of you."

She treated him to a look of mock incredulity. "Should that even be a problem, now, when Luke's probably going to suggest a name like...I don't know, Thor?"

"I would seriously consider Thor."

Jyn laughed. "No way. And it's a she. We need to give her a...fitting name. Pretty like she is."

"Thor is very pretty," said Bodhi seriously, as if of ended by the mere notion that he wasn't.

Jyn playfully swatted his arm. "Shut up. I'm thinking."

Bodhi pulled out his phone. "You get two minutes, or I text Luke."

"You're seriously going to time me?"

Bodhi quirked an eyebrow. "The seconds are ticking, Jyn."

"Okay, okay," Jyn raised her palms. "Work with me, alright? How's her personality?"

"She likes affection, and acts like the place is hers. Also, Imp and her didn't hit off so well, she keeps biting his cushion and eats food from both plates."

"Does she listen when you tell her to do something?"

Bodhi snorted. "Never. I have to physically intervene to get her off the couch, and she keeps ripping my curtains."

Jyn grinned, her face suddenly brightening as if a cartoon lightbulb had popped over her head. "Got it."

Bodhi actually set his phone down. "Tell me."

"She's a little rebel," Jyn sat back, allowing herself a self-satisfied smiled. "Never listening, doing stuff she's not supposed to. Let's call her Rebel."

Bodhi pursed his lips. "So you want my cats to be Imp and Rebel?"

"Yep. And the names go well together for some reason. I don't think Luke could top that."

"Alright." Bodhi smiled at her, then at the ball of fluff napping on his rug. "Works for me."


Private Chat: Hera, Kanan

Hera: You on your way?

Kanan: Just got off from work

Kanan: Where does Han live again?

Hera: Hold on I'll send you a pin


Hera: There's a pizza place nearby, shouldn't be too hard to find

Kanan: Sure ok

Kanan: Shit

Kanan: Shit I took the wrong train

Hera: Please tell me you didn't

Kanan: Fuck

Hera: Language

Kanan: Sorry

Kanan: I'm probably going to be late, love.

Kanan: I'll see you there

Hera: Okay

Hera: Hey

Hera: We're going to tell them tonight, yeah?

Kanan: Yeah

Kanan: Nervous?;)

Hera: Nope

Hera: But I'm not judging you for being nervous, sweetheart.

Kanan: Let's see who's nervous when it comes to it

Hera: Whatever that makes you happy

Hera: Now get on the right train and hurry up

Kanan: Yes ma'am


Luke walked into Han's apartment to the delicious smell of something burning. Wait, that didn't sound right. The smell of something delicious burning? No, it still sounded cynical and somewhat psychopathic. The smell of burning food?

Well, a nice smell anyway.

He followed the scent into the kitchen, rapping twice on the wall outside just so he wouldn't be turning up announced. Han whirled around from where he'd been fixing himself a greasy-looking sandwich.

"What's burning?" asked Luke conversationally.

Han blinked, not registering the words for a moment. "Is that the trending way of asking what's up?"

"What? No, no," Luke shook his head helplessly. "I meant to ask what's cooking. Like. What you're making."

Han looked at his skeptically before gesturing at the mess of ham and cheese in front of him. "Sandwich."

Luke bit his lip. "That's not what I- okay, let's put it this way. What's the nice smell?"

"Oh," it dawned on Han before he snorted to himself and rolled his eyes. "Sorry. I put some sausages to microwave. They should be done now."

He shoved his sandwich in the toaster, holding the lid down because the clasp had broken last month, and expected Luke would say something to fill in the silence before it turned awkward. His toaster took over six minutes to toast anything, environmental disaster that it was, and he didn’t enjoy the idea of six minutes standing in one place, holding a toaster down, and waiting for his generally more conversational friend to speak.

A minute in, suspicious now, Han turned around to check if Luke was even around anymore. He was, but he was standing still, and his face was doing something funny.

“Kid?” ventured Han carefully. “What’s gotten into you?”

Luke blinked, snapping out out of his reverie, but he still looked a little dazed.

“Sorry,” he said distractedly. “Just, um.”

Han frowned, concerned enough now that he let go of the toaster. “What’s wrong?”

Luke looked up at him, and he finally placed the odd expression on the boy’s face- awe.

“That is so cool,” Luke whispered, almost reverent.

“What? What are you talking about? What’s cool?”

Luke’s gaze was directed at a spot behind him, not on him, and Han whirled around to see-

His microwave working, the dish inside rotating slowly under a warm light.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” continued Luke, and he spoke quietly, like some sort of spell would be broken if he was any louder.

Han‘s eyebrows shot all the way to his hairline. “Do what?

He was almost prepared for Luke to hiss at him to keep it down, but all of that was in his head, and Skywalker instead gave him a straight answer, albeit in the same weird tone.

“Microwave sausages.”

Han blinked. “What.

“I didn’t know you could just...not fry them. That you can make them without frying them. Wow.”

“Kid.” Han slapped his palm to his forehead. “You gotta be shitting me.”


Bodhi Rook owned a Toyota that looked like one of those retro movie props that had no value anywhere outside of the silver screen. Perhaps not even inside the silver screen, actually, unless it was a documentary about road accidents, because the cream-coloured car was fractured, dented and otherwise falling apart all around.

It was also refusing to start.

Jyn hit her head back against the seat and drew a long, patient breath.

“This is the second time it’s happened when I’ve been here.”

“She’s normally reliable, okay!” Bodhi squeaked, getting defensive the way he always did when his ride was insulted. Jyn had always meant to ask if the car was an old family heirloom or something- nobody should be attached to a car like this without good reason.

“Okay.” Jyn shook her head, resolving to stare distantly into the small parking lot they were stranded in. “Okay. We need to find a way to get to Han’s place.”

Bodhi turned the keys in the ignition again, and the car issued a few dying coughs, before it sunk back down and went still. For the third time.

“I can’t understand what’s wrong,” he said miserably, and Jyn felt just the briefest touch of pity towards him. Maybe the car was a family asset.

“Hey,” she offered up, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We can figure it out tomorrow. Maybe she just needs another service, you know?”

Bodhi sniffled. “Maybe.”

She patted him lightly on the cheek. “Come on, out you go. I’ll call an Über.”

They got out of the car, Bodhi closing his door carefully. He shook his head.

“I don’t think it’s worth it, to go all the way to Han’s. But if Cassian’s on the way we can hitch a ride with him?”

Bodhi dialled Cassian’s number and pressed the phone to his ear. It rang, deep and slow, for all of ten seconds before being picked up.

“Cassian is driving,” announced Kay’s mechanical voice. “And as it is inadvisable to answer the phone when driving, and because he asked me to, I am answering on behalf of him.”

Even in his lingering state of upset, Bodhi had to repress a smile. “Um. Hi Kay, it’s Bodhi.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow. Kay? Kay was coming for movie night?

“Could you...could you tell Cassian that I need a lift? My car’s not, um, it’s not working.”

Cassian’s voice came through. “No problem, Bodhi. You’re on speaker, by the way, so Kay isn’t doing as much help as he makes it sound.”

Bodhi actually did laugh this time, and Jyn was allowed in on the conversation when he set his own phone on speaker. “Glad to hear I didn’t bother Kay too much.”

"I have already been bothered enough, as is evident by my going to Han Solo's movie night," came Kay's blank voice. “I was supposed to coordinate with Artoo and Threepio on our web development program.”

"You got him out of the house?” Bodhi grinned. “I'm proud, Cass." He glanced at Jyn, who was making no effort to be part of the conversation but listening to it anyway. He could use that, he decided, and added, "Also, I might have one extra passenger with me."

"What does might have entail?" asked Kay, flat.

"It means I have. Okay." He rolled his eyes. "You have space, right?"

"Yes," said Cassian. "But one of you will have to take the front seat, because Kay's sulking in three quarters of the back."

Kay sounded indignant.

"I am not sulking."

"You're researching for your thesis. When the company is good, that looks like sulking to me."

"I answered the phone for you. I had to reach over to the front seat. I am not sulking."

Bodhi snorted loudly. He didn’t know how or why Cassian was bringing his roommate along for Han’s movie night, but it was reason enough for someone like Kay to be put in a prissy mood. “Sure, Kay. And thank you! What time will you be here.”

“Give me five minutes,” answered Cassian.

“Five minutes in the event of Cassian not choosing stop at the traffic lights coming up six meters ahead, or the next one, in another fifty meters.”

Really, Kay?”

“Your GPS shows the upcoming traffic blocks. You really should be paying more attention to it.”

Jyn could practically hear Cassian roll his eyes to the heavens. His sigh rasped through the speakerphone.

“Somewhere around ten minutes. Just hang in there, Bodhi.”

The call was terminated before Kay could pass another smart remark, and Bodhi sniggered. He seemed to have forgotten of his own ongoing car crisis, and for that she was grateful.

“Think we can get Han to dial down the A/C this time?” He asked her, mimicking curling his arms around himself. “I brought the warmest non-winter jacket I own, but Han’s A/C is possessed.”

“You’re telling me.” Jyn grunted. “Leia was honest-to-god trying to convince me to wear a pair of shorts.”

Bodhi eyed her getup of Tony Stark t-shirt, green three-quarters and sneakers. “I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation. That A/C brings the temperature of the whole room down to just below freezing, and Han lost the remote. So unless he’s found the remote by now, which is highly unlikely given the state of his apartment, that’ll be the standard setting that we cannot control. And he won’t turn the damn thing off either, saying it’s hot without it.”

Jyn big back a grin; it would not do to show amusement at Bodhi’s latest rant of the world’s injustices. She’d missed the last time Han had hosted movie night, so she hadn’t known about the A/C remote fiasco. Not having herself experienced what sounded like a miniature cataclysm, she merely found the story veering to the side of funny. “Want to take a guess as to the real reason he doesn’t turn it off?”

Bodhi frowned. “There’s a real reason? So it’s not just his preference of sub-zero climates?”

“Nope,” said Jyn wisely. “It’s probably his justification for sitting so close to Leia. You know, warmth and everything.”

Bodhi actually guffawed. “I am not surprised. Not surprised at all. You know how much easier life would be for all of us if they just admitted to it already? We wouldn’t have to suffer his demonic air conditioner unit.”

Jyn sighed. “It’ll be easier to convert Spock into the Klingon way of life than to make them admit to that.”

Bodhi laughed, punching her playfully in the arm. “Heaven above, Jyn, you’re such a nerd.

She gaped at him. “Look who that’s coming from!”

“Would you stop that? Playing Donkey Kong doesn’t make me a nerd.”

“Playing Donkey Kong on a Nintendo DS from a decade ago makes any respectable adult not-so-respectable.”

“Hey, listening to Aerosmith or watching Thundercats at twenty-three doesn’t do you any favours either!”

Jyn sniffed. “Don’t you dare insult Thundercats.”

Bodhi snickered, shaking his head wistfully. “Honest, Jyn, I swear you and Cassian are just made for each other.”

Jyn stilled, all traces of her joking demeanour seeping out of her features. “What?”

“You know who else watches kiddies shows from the past century?” Bodhi teased, clearly enjoying the prophecy he was preaching. “Oh yes, I found out. And I heard that you guys occasionally have very long nerd-to-nerd chats too.”

“Okay, first off-” Jyn shook her head, annoyed most of all that Bodhi seemed to be getting the desired rise out of her. “That doesn’t mean anything, least of all the way you think it does. We just have some stuff in common and we talk about them. That’s basically what friends do.”

Bodhi raised an eyebrow at her, clearly not buying it.

“Sure. Like you and I are friends. You’re not interested in him at all.

“Shut up,” muttered Jyn, stuffing her hands in her pockets. She couldn’t deny anything, especially not when Bodhi already knew too much. Denial would almost certainly prove his point further, and sound like guilt.

She was still giving him a rather petulant silent treatment when Cassian’s (less beat-up than Bodhi’s, but not altogether impressive) car pulled before the entrance of the building, and Bodhi flashed her a wicked grin before taking to the wind. Her face dropped into a slightly confused frown and she followed at an unhurried pace, wondering what he could possibly be up to.

When she reached the car, she saw that Bodhi was already inside, in the backseat next to Kay, and giving her his widest possible shit-eating grin as he gestured to the passenger seat.

So mature, Jyn mouthed to him, before fixing a small smile and walking around to the front. Cassian turned her way as she slid into the seat next to his.

“Hi,” he said with a smile.

“I deduced a seventy percent probability that Bodhi’s extra passenger would be you,” Kay informed her, in his own unique way of saying hello.

“If you say so,” she remarked somewhat fondly, before looking back at Cassian as he started to drive. “Hey. Done with Death of the Family yet?”

Bodhi made an obvious chortling noise right behind her, and she felt like leaning across and smacking him upside the head. Of course she had to go and say that, right in front of the one person who wouldn’t let her hear the end of it. But it was how they always greeted each other, dammit.

“I have some practical questions, like how his peeled-off face didn’t decompose for all of a few months.” Cassian paused, seeming to think about it. “Actually, I was wondering if he’d, realistically speaking, even have a face in the next installation. There’s no way that thing can last him two comics.”

Jyn willed herself to ignore the subtle kicks Bodhi was giddily giving the underside of her seat. “Well. He’s the Joker. You’d be surprised with what he’s capable of.”

“I can never grasp why the two of you are so invested in completely unrealistic and over-the-top comic books,” Kay sniffed. “I keep telling Cassian that they’re a distraction from his work. Also, there comic book culture hasn’t evolved with the rest of the world in the last couple of decades, because one hardly comes across references to periods of history other than the two world wars, or a change in the way villains and female characters are portrayed, or even original plots. There is very little to gain from spending your hard earned money on accumulating a collection.”

Jyn rolled her eyes. “Holy crap, how do you live with him?”

“Bliss is ignorance, ignorance is bliss, and that’s all ye ever know and all ye ever need to know.” Cassian wrinkled his nose. “Wait, I don’t think that goes.”

“It doesn’t,” Bodhi pointed out, “Make any contextual sense.”

“I think I got John Keats mixed up with something Foaly said.”

“I love Foaly,” said Jyn.

Cassian’s responding delight was full-blown, enough so that he took his eyes off the road when he exclaimed, “Shit, you read them too?”

Bodhi made a gagging noise from behind her, and she nearly rocked back in her seat to hit him in the chin with it. “Yeah. Obviously. Have I never mentioned…?”


Jyn had the good grace to look somewhat sheepish, but she was smiling more than anything, and Bodhi could probably sense it but she didn’t care. “Oh, okay. Well, I’m mentioning it now.”

“Wow.” Cassian was grinning as much as she was, even with his eyes back on the road now. “Hey, it’s a little early, but you wouldn’t happen to be going for NYCC this year, would you?”

Her heart did a little excited flip in her chest. “Actually…”

“Holy shit, Jyn.” He almost sounded breathless. “Can we...I mean, if you don’t already have plans, do you think I could come with you? I mean, if that’s okay. What I mean is, Kay isn’t willing to leave his website thing for a few days, and Luke and Kes said they both might not be free-”

She could hear Bodhi screaming silently behind her, barely able to restrain himself from commenting and absolutely waiting for the moment he could get her alone to bug her about it, but she found it difficult to be concerned about that now. This was an important moment. This was...good. Really good. She tried to sound neutral when she replied but it took every ounce of effort she could give.

“Of course. It’ll be fun.”

In a startling moment of self-realisation, she found she really couldn’t wait to tell Leia about this.

Chapter Text

Luke didn’t need to have mystic powers to notice that Han had been shooting him sideways looks for the past twenty minutes, while they shared a plate of sausages between them in awkward silence. It made him restless; his friendship with Han was a comfortable one, and they hardly ever experienced this level of awkwardness when left to each other’s company.

Unable to bear it anymore, Luke put his phone down, tearing his earplugs out, and shifted the full force of his attention in Han’s direction. The other guy startled.

“Okay, you’ve been giving me weird looks,” Luke informed him promptly. “What’s going on?”

Han’s reflex reaction was to scowl way too defensively to be subtle. “No I didn’t. Haven’t. Haven’t been. Nothing’s going on.”

The blonde boy quirked an eyebrow. “Okay, now I know that something is definitely going on.”

“There isn’t.” Han plucked one of the crisp, sad-looking microwaved sausages pointedly, indicating that they were done talking about this. Luke didn’t buy it for a second.

“Leia,” he said simply, testing a theory.

Han stiffened. “Huh?”

“I knew it!” Luke beamed, looking way too triumphant than was deserved. It had, after all, not been a very difficult deduction. “So what’s going on this time? Did she disagree with the movie you picked?”

”No!” protested Han, too quickly, before realising his mistake. The damage had already been done, however, so he gingerly resigned himself to amending it instead. “I mean, yes, she did, but that’s not the problem.”

The blonde pushed his chair back and drew his knees up onto the seat, eyes sparking with interest. It was hard to tell what exactly that look was- maybe Luke Skywalker really enjoyed helping people out, maybe he loved listening in on real-life drama, or maybe he just lived on ammunition to tease his friends with where their love lives were concerned. Possibly a combination of all three.

Han half-groaned, half rolled his eyes, before settling for his miserable fate. He’d meant to ask Luke anyway, because he absolutely had to have this information soon.

He took a breath. “Is Leia seeing anyone?”

To his amazement, Luke’s expression became one of total confusion. “Wait, is she?”

He gaped at him. “You don’t- you don’t know?

Luke sat up straight immediately, eyes wide, dragging himself back to the table. “No! I mean, I didn’t even think...well, she doesn’t tell me everything , obviously, but this is the sort of thing I’d know- unless she’s, uh, waiting for the right time to tell me? Maybe they aren’t serious.”

“Is there a chance she isn’t seeing anyone at all?”

“Um. Oh boy.” Luke nervously chewed his bottom lip in thought. “I really don’t know. Like, she didn’t even mention it, or drop any hints, so that’s possible too. Who told you about this?”

Han shook his head, trying to ignore the sick knot that had formed in his gut. He hoped, he really did, and there was hope, but the alternative was that he’d lost his chance. He...didn’t want to deal with that possibility, right now.

“Have you read the group chat recently?”

“No,” admitted Luke. “Not since day before yesterday, at least. What happened?”

He resisted the urge to start drumming his fingers on the table. That would be too obvious a giveaway for the raging turmoil inside his skull. “Well, it’s like this. After Jyn accidentally sent me that message meant for Leia- you know, you were online when I mentioned it- Cassian suggested that maybe they’re...going out with someone? One of them, maybe, so we still don’t know, but there’s that chance.”

Luke frowned, taking this in. He really hadn’t bothered browsing the rest of the messages at the time, but he realised now that he’d missed a lot. “If that’s true, you know, I think there’s a bigger chance it’s Jyn. Because Leia would tell me, but Jyn isn’t all that open about stuff. She normally tells Bodhi almost everything, but she might have not told him about it yet, either.”

Han found himself nodding in agreement before Luke was even done talking. It made sense, but more than that, it was a relief- or at least, a bigger chance that spelt hope. He was probably right. It probably had nothing to do with Leia at all. “That’s a good bet.”

Luke clasped his shoulder lightly, smiling reassuringly. Was he that obvious? Shit.

“It’s a really good bet. I’ll talk to Bodhi tonight and try to get something out of him. We can put two and two together and be sure about this.”

“Yeah. I guess we can.”

“Great!” Luke swiped his phone back off the table. “Don’t worry, you’ll see; this is just a misunderstanding. I’m at least seventy percent sure Leia isn’t dating anyone.”

“Seventy percent,” murmured Han, wondering just how the hell anyone could be optimistic with odds that low.


Cassian pulled the car into the parking lot Han recommended for his visitors- that of a run-down grocery store close to his building whose owners wouldn’t object too much because ‘they were bankrupt anyway’- while Leia’s white Three-Series was reversing into a spot. Still concentrating intently on not smiling too much and resisting the temptation to ask Cassian more questions about his plans for Comic Con, Jyn didn’t even have the presence of mind to ogle her friend’s beautiful car.

Bodhi was out first, greeting Sabine and Shara with an enthusiastic hug each, followed by Kay, who simply nodded in greeting. From the passenger seat, Jyn caught Leia’s eye.

Look at you, the brunette mouthed, an insufferable smirk curving the edge of her lips.

Jyn discretely flipped her the bird. She chortled, then wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. Cassian, throughout this exchange, was digging around the gearbox compartment for his keys or something.

Shara peeked in by her window, wondering who Leia was communicating with, and her eyes widened upon seeing Jyn. She didn’t waste time trying to tease her, though. Just- son of a bitch!- turned around and hurriedly told Leia that they should get out of here.

The two girls dragged a confused Sabine after them, crossing the parking lot to the exit, and Bodhi caught on, delightedly shooting her a pair of finger guns before himself dragging Kay and running after them. Jyn was left appalled and disbelieving because really? Really?

Cassian muttered a curse and shut the compartment. “I forgot my house keys.”

Jyn offered what she hoped came off as a sympathetic wince, and not a look of utter betrayal that her so-called friends had deserted her in favour of leaving the two of them in his car, alone. “Maybe Kay will have brought one?”

“Too much to hope for.” Cassian shook his head. “He normally makes it a point to remind me a hundred times because he doesn’t like taking his set everywhere and- hey, where did everyone go?”

“They, uh.” Jyn made a show of rolling her eyes. “I think they thought it’d be funny to just leave us here, like. A prank.”

He raised an eyebrow, incredulous. “Seriously?” 

“Yeah. Bunch of middle-schoolers.” Jyn waved it off. 

They got out of the car and started making their way across the gravel. The space was dark except for the illumination of windows on nearby buildings and a single solitary streetlight after they left the parking lot. Han’s flat complex was a short walk from here, and in the distance Jyn could see the group of Leia and the rest of her traitorous friends in animated interaction with each other save for the brooding silhouette of Kay. 

The wind was chilly, but mild enough to be pleasant. The streets were relatively quiet, and a couple of vintage Minis were parked along the sidewalk, probably the property of Han’s wealthier neighbours. 

Cassian walked closer to her than was really necessary, in the same manner they always operated. It was an unconscious move and nothing about it felt unnatural. And, if their fingers occasionally brushed- she wasn’t going to complain. 

“So, about NYCC.” Cassian cleared his throat. “Does Bodhi plan on going, too? I can get tickets for all of us, do the booking and everything because it’s easier if one person handles all of that. Just, uh. Just let me know?” 

“Bodhi is...probably not going.” She shrugged, feigning nonchalance through the lie. Bodhi would most definitely want to tag along, be her wingman or something, but she absolutely did not need any assistance from those quarters. He would keep on relentlessly teasing her and besides, she wanted to have some time alone with Cassian. And see where it went.

A flush creeped to her cheeks at the unbidden thought. Dammit, now was not a good time.  

“Oh. That’s…” He craned his neck awkwardly. “Okay. Cool.” 

They walked the rest of the way in a stilted kind of silence, like they felt some kind of turn in their relationship on the horizon. It was the electric tension that sometimes settled between them, when there were no movies or books to talk about; when it was just the two of them, and no distractions from the way they felt.

Well. If he felt that way, that is. Jyn knew in the back of her mind that getting her hopes up about this thing, however transparent it seemed, was a bad, bad idea. She could be reading into it too much. Maybe he didn’t view this the same way she did. Maybe the intensity of his gaze when he looked at her sometimes and the fact that he only seemed to truly smile around her was all just her imagination.  

As they made their way up the narrow steps to Han’s floor, shoulders pushed up against each other, Jyn decided she’d just see how the night played out- and if it really came down to it, get Leia’s opinion as well. 

Speaking of Leia. She’d already got into some argument or the other with Han, and they could be heard all the way down to the bottom of the stairs. The violent breach of the tense silence between them was more than welcome, and Cassian grinned at her and she smirked right back as they pushed the door open. 

Luke, wearing the strange combination of a murky, swamp-coloured knitted sweater with light blue jeans and rainbow sneakers, was attempting to pacify the situation.

“Guys, guys , I’m sure you’re both correct, and does it really matter? It doesn’t, does it? Come on, let’s drop these old issues and have some fun.”

Old issues!” hissed Han. “If it was such an old issue then why would her Ladyship bring it up in the first place?”

“I just asked you a question, jerk!” shouted Leia. 

“She kind of did,” Luke pointed out dryly.

“It was a passive-aggressive question! That I did not want to hear!”

“Children, calm the fuck down,” Shara called from the living room couch, where she was already snuggled comfortably with Kes, who’d arrived earlier after work.

Cassian followed Jyn wordlessly as she stepped around the Big Fight and they found themselves in the air-conditioned living room with the others, every light switched on and four bags of crisps already open and being passed across the floor. Hera and her fiancé had claimed one of the beanbags, Sabine seated on the fluffy carpet beside them, Bodhi had spread himself across two smaller beanbags and Kay was civilly seated on a straight-backed chair beside the couch. 

“Hi, sweetheart,” Hera greeted Jyn as she nudged Bodhi with her foot, urging him to stop being a selfish prick and give her room. “Have you met Kanan?” 

“Once, I think,” answered Jyn, resorting to dropping her weight on Bodhi’s knees, which was received with a yelp of pain. “Nice to meet you, though.”

“You as well,” said Kanan politely, with all the poise of someone who had clearly never been to one of their chaotic movie nights. His eyes flickered to Cassian, who’d been standing by her side the entire time. “And you are...Jyn’s boyfriend?”

Bodhi burst out laughing at the same time Jyn startled and Cassian’s eyes widened. 

“We’re not, uh…”

“He’s not my…” 

Hera rolled her eyes, poking her fiancé in the arm. “No, love, the couple is Kes and Shara, and I introduced you before.”  

“Oh.” Kanan offered an apologetic smile at them. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s okay.” Cassian shrugged, feigning nonchalance. He instinctively went to sit beside Jyn, but paused, because he did not need to give more people that idea. He wanted to sit with Jyn, and she probably wouldn’t mind it either, but Bodhi was peering up at him curiously and Kes was shooting a maniacal grin his way, so he crossed the floor and went to sit in the empty space beside Kes, also next to where Kay was seated in his stiff chair borrowed from the kitchen.  

He probably just imagined the flash of disappointment that crossed Jyn’s face when he took his place, but there was nothing he could do about it now. 

Kes leaned closer to him the moment she turned to talk to Bodhi. 

“Coward,” he whispered.

Joder tu,” Cassian muttered back at him, earning a chuckle.  

Just after Kes had redirected his attention to Shara, though, Kay leaned in over the armrest of the sofa. 

“You asked Jyn Erso out on a date.” 

Cassian stiffened, because his roommate wasn’t exactly being quiet. “Keep it down, for heaven’s sake! And it wasn’t a date.”

“Perhaps not by conventional definitions,” Kay went on crisply as if he hadn’t been shushed. “But you asked to go out with her, to an event, without the company of anyone else, and don’t think that I am not aware that you rehearsed how you would present the question approximately ten times before we set out today.”

Cassian coughed. “How do you-” 

“I heard your rehearsals, obviously. For the record, I am glad that you didn’t go with ‘I’ve wanted to hang out with you alone in a geek-friendly environment for a really long time’ . The phrasing was stilted and awkward. Were I in Jyn’s place I would have not responded positively to that one.”

“Oh my God.” He closed his eyes, pinching the space between his brows when he felt a headache come on. “Shut up, Kay. What’s your point?”

“My point is that two days ago, you were worried that Jyn already has a boyfriend. What happened to him? Or rather, what happened to that concern? You are exactly the type of person to back away from her and completely give up trying if you found out she has a boyfriend. Were your suspicions proven wrong?”

“The thing is…” Cassian sighed, shaking his head. He did a quick look around to see if anyone was paying attention to them before lowering his voice for only Kay to hear. “I don’t know that for sure. It’s just...a guess. Not a very strong guess, either, after I considered everything, and I figured...well, I could ask, and she’d say no if she didn’t want to go with me, wouldn’t she?”

“She may have consented to going with you in your capacity as platonic friends,” Kay notified him unhelpfully. 

“I know. I know, Kay, but we’ll just have to wait and see, okay?” 

His roommate’s response was cut short with the familiar dreaded sound of an A/C turning on. 

“No,” Kes whispered in horror. “He didn't.” 

Han climbed down from the chair he'd used to reach the main switch of his air conditioner, having lost the remote a long time ago. The ancient freezer box had been set to an abysmally low temperature when the remote had gone missing, which meant it was stuck on that setting forever. Han was never generous enough to turn it off entirely either.

“Why did everyone go all quiet?” Kanan whispered to Hera. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she sighed, clasping his hand in both of hers. “Just roll your sleeves all the way down and pray that the power goes out.”


Private Chat: Kanan, Hera 

Hera: Hey

Hera: When do you think we should tell them?

Kanan: After the movie maybe?

Kanan: God it's so cold

Kanan: You're literally seated right next to me why can't we talk in person?

Hera: Some people get cranky when people start having conversations in the middle of movies

Kanan: No one's even WATCHING the movie

Kanan: Whose idea was Chucky, anyway?

Hera: Movie night host gets to pick.

Kanan: I think you should try out a more democratic system

Hera: Haha

Hera: So, to answer my question?

Kanan: I don't know

Kanan: Let's tell them after the movie

Hera: Nervous? ;)

Kanan: Very funny.

Hera: I knew it!

Kanan: Only because I don't know everyone so well!

Kanan: Speaking of which

Kanan: Where’s Sabine?

Hera: Don't think I didn't notice how you changed the topic, love.

Hera: She went somewhere with Jyn?

Hera: Normally they ransack the fridge when the movie gets boring, and come back with snacks that no one else is allowed to touch.

Kanan: Clever.

Kanan: Can we go ransack the fridge as well? This stupid AC is making me hungry.


Hera cast a discreet glance at where Han had cozied up snugly beside Leia, who was actually paying attention to what was going on on-screen but not out of being impressed with the quality of horror. She rather looked keen on studying every aspect of the movie so she could give it a merciless critique later on. 

Hera pecked her fiancé lightly on the cheek. Sure, she mouthed. Let’s go.

They were careful, incredibly so, in extracting themselves from the big green beanbag Han took out exclusively on movie nights, and snuck out of the living room without making a sound. If Han noticed, he was too enraptured by the woman at his side and his favourite horror classic to say anything. 

Hera, Kanan found out, was in no hurry to stuff herself with whatever morsels Han’s fridge offered. 

Hey,” he protested half-heartedly as she pushed him against the wall and crushed her lips to his. He quickly dissolved into a grin that was so wide it almost hurt, before enthusiastically wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning down to meet her better.

“Demonic A/C made me cold,” Hera muttered, a light in her eyes. “Warm me up?”

Kanan barked a quiet laugh. “Demonic A/C?”

“It’s possessed, like half the things he owns.” She ran her fingers through his hair to pull him to her again. “Let’s go outside.” 

“Ah, outside…” Kanan winced. “I think, ah, Kes and Shara already got that place to themselves.” 

“Damn.” Hera smiled nevertheless, and it was a soft smile, so in contrast with the heat of the moment, but dear god, he was so in love with her.

“Hey.” She rested her hand lightly against his chest, in the small space between them. “What’re you thinking?”

“Nothing.” He reached back to tuck a stray lock of green hair behind her ear. “I’m just lucky to have you.” 


He laughed as she leaned up to meet him again, catching his lips with a mischievous kind of enthusiasm that made the blood in his veins sing.

They were in one of the furthest stages of making out (his hands snaking up her ribs from under her shirt, her mouth suckling marks on his neck and her knee pushed insistently between his legs) when Sabine and Jyn made the unfortunate decision to return to the movie, carrying a couple of milk cartons and cereal boxes between them. Jyn startled, clutching the the boxes close to her chest, but Sabine dropped them with a thud that snapped the couple out of their private haze.  

They broke apart, looking as mortified as anyone in their situation would. 

“Uh- sorry. Let's go,” muttered Jyn, rushing through the safe arch of the doorway. Sabine smiled at them embarrassedly, then resolutely avoided any eye contact as she hurriedly picked up the cereal box and followed suite. 

Kanan and Hera watched her go, feeling very much like a pair of people caught red-handed doing something illegal. 

Hera cleared her throat after a moment of silence. “Well. That was awkward.”

“They did not have to see that,” agreed Kanan sheepishly.

“This is...what, the fourth time it's happened to Sabine?”

“Third, I think. She generally has better luck than Ezra.” 

Hera groaned. “Don't remind me. Everyone has better luck than Ezra, in general.”

“Yeah.” He moved to fix what he could of his rumbled clothes. “I really miss him, though. I don't miss Zeb or Chop, but I miss him.” 

Hera placed a light hand on his forearm. “We'll see them all at the wedding.”

Kanan nodded, then linked his arm through hers. “Do you want to go to the kitchen now? We have something to plan, you know.” 

His fiance smirked. “So you are nervous.”

“Why would I be nervous? They already know we're engaged.” 

“Yeah, you're nervous.” She bumped his shoulder with hers. “Come on, let's go and see if they left any cereal for us.”



“So apparently,” Jyn knocked Bodhi’s knee, drawing his attention to the not-couple sitting at the other end of the room. “Everyone except Han is bored to death with this movie.” 

“Yeah. I guess.” Bodhi shifted his eyes away from the screen, and Jyn could tell that he’d been very far from bored . She’d even hazard a guess that he was a little scared, judging by the way he’d been gripping Luke’s sleeve. “It’s not that boring, though.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Everyone’s seen it before. I told Han we should watch a Christopher Nolan movie, but it probably wouldn’t help him get laid because Leia wouldn’t get bored.” 

From Bodhi’s side, Luke turned wide, horrified eyes on her. “Please do not continue that thought.” 

She bit back a laugh. “Hey, I’m just saying. Kes and Shara are doing stuff in their car, in the parking lot, and we just caught Hera and Kanan, too. And if Hera’s up for doing anything in public, it can only mean that that stupid A/C is really good at setting the mood.”

Luke grabbed her box of cereal and straight up drank some from the box. He started crunching loudly, turning his attention back to the movie, which was honestly the most passive-aggressive Luke thing anybody could do. 

Han hissed at him to stop crunching so loudly, and he immediately swallowed it down. Jyn couldn’t prevent him from sweeping the last of her chocolate milk either.

“Well, I’m not in the mood,” said Bodhi decisively. “That doll is freaking me out. Why does it turn its head like that? And what the hell is up with the squeaky shoes?”

“It’s a doll. A doll, Bodhi.” Jyn sighed, sinking into her beanbag. “Why is this boring? Movie nights are never boring. Especially Han’s ones.” 

“I’m with you there,” agreed Luke. “Hey, what are Kay and Cassian working on? Is that some kind of project?” 

“Kay’s thesis. Cassian is asleep.”

Bodhi chanced a quick look behind them, and sure enough, Cassian didn’t appear to be actively involved in anything. He was probably not fully asleep, but he certainly didn’t look enthralled with Chucky’s blood-splattered dungarees, either. “Looks like the A/C failed to set the mood for someone else as well.” 

“Oh, shut up.” Jyn punched him in the shoulder.

Bodhi chose then to drop his investment in the movie, finally seeming to realise he now had the perfect opportunity for grilling her. “You should go wake him up and ask if he’s interested in some good-old-”

“Oh my god, can we not?” Luke exclaimed, righteously scandalised. Han hissed at him from across the room and he ducked his head conspicuously toward the two of them. “I don’t want to hear about who’s doing who when everyone you’re talking about is around the corner. It’s weird.” 

Bodhi chortled indignantly. “I wasn’t talking about anyone doing anything! Just offering a suggestion!” 

“That’s even worse!” 

“Is nobody watching the movie?” Han shouted from his comfortable perch. He’d actually straightened up a little, to glare at them. “You guys suck. Here we have a horror classic, a brilliant piece of cinema with the most grisly murders of its time, and you lot aren’t even paying attention.”

Leia lifted her head then, looking every bit the unimpressed audience as she raised an eyebrow at him. “I am horrified. Out of my skin. By the fact that you seriously think this is a good movie.” 

Han bristled. “Well excuse me, Princess-” 

Luke waved his arms widely. “Woah, time out!” 

“Whatever,” grumbled Han, settling back beside Leia, who looked aggressive and less than thrilled but didn't consciously protest. 

“Maybe you have a point,” murmured Luke thoughtfully. “He needs to get laid. But can we please not bring my sister into this?”  

“You're too protective,” snickered Bodhi. “You should be more like me, always rooting for my sister to get laid.”

Jyn treated him to a poisonous look. “Zark off.” 

The movie eventually drew to its bloody (“And stupid,” Leia offered) conclusion, marking the end of the demonic A/C’s reign because it was only when the movie ended that Han got enough of a bearing of his surroundings that he realised it was too cold. He returned after turning the air conditioner off, almost earning applause from everyone else, and because Leia had by then reclaimed the entire couch to herself, he was left standing somewhat awkwardly without a place to sit.

“Well, that was a good movie,” announced Han triumphantly from the middle of the living room instead. “Didn't I tell you it was going to be good?”

“Mm, yeah.” Cassian blinked himself awake. “Couldn't have spent my Friday night better.”

I could have,” raised Kay sullenly, from behind the sofa. “Curse of Chucky is a vastly overrated horror flick, not to mention one I'm certain everyone in this room excluding myself have seen countless times.”

Excluding you?”

“I do not watch movies that don't have a critic's score above seventy-five and simultaneously an audience score above seventy on Rotten Tomatoes.” 

“He doesn't watch a lot of movies,” Cassian translated.

Han rolled his eyes. “That's a good justification for bad taste. And where did Kes and Shara go?”

“Parking lot,” hollered Bodhi delightedly. 

Han looked confused. “Why would they go there?” 

“Because your A/C set the mood for- mmph!” 

Luke smiled from beside him, where he'd clamped a hand over his friend’s mouth.

“I'll give them a call and tell them the movie’s finished.”

“Good, you do that.” Han clapped his hands together. “Because Hera and Kanan have some good news for the lot of you, which means everyone needs to be in this room.” 

Hera smiled meaningfully at her fiance, taking his hand again. “Yeah. Some news.” 

Sabine’s eyes widened. “Oh my God. You're having a baby.”

“What? No!” Kanan looked incredulous. “Why was that the first thing that occurred to you?”

“Hey, when you told me you had something to tell everyone, that's what I thought, too,” Han pointed out. 

“But why.”

“Well, it definitely wasn't an engagement announcement, because everyone already knows that.”

“Wait. Oh my God.” Leia sat up straighter. “It's the wedding, isn't it? You're going to tell us when the wedding is!” 

Hera winked at her. “Perceptive as always, honey.”

“The wedding,” gaped Sabine. The brightest of grins spread on her face, her eyes lighting up. “Hera! Did you really have to keep quiet about it for so long? This is the most important day of my life. Do we have enough time to get plane tickets or whatever? Where are you having it? Oh my gosh, we need to tell Ezra. Does Ezra even know this is happening?”  

“Well, not yet,” admitted Kanan, trying to keep up with the questions. “But we'll tell Ezra just about as soon as we’re done telling you now.” 

“No need for that,” said Han, holding up his phone. “I made sure I got him online. You're welcome.” 

On screen, a boy with dark hair and a broad smile waved at them energetically. “Hi, guys!”

Bodhi, Luke and Sabine were immediately right in front of the screen, exclaiming greetings as one. Han winced as the reunion too close to his ears got a little loud, surrendering his phone without protest to Sabine, who had the presence of mind to actually pass the screen over to Kanan and Hera. 

“Han said you have news!” came Ezra’s excited voice from the speakers. “Are you having a baby? Please tell me you're having a baby!”

“What is up with that,” groaned Kanan, but Hera only shook her head.

“No, that's not it, Ezra. Take another guess?” 

“You're...getting engaged?” Ezra looked puzzled. “But you're already engaged. You're getting double-engaged?”

Laserbrain,” sighed Sabine.

Kes and Shara walked in then, having responded to Luke’s call and wondering at the commotion now. 

“What's going on?” asked Kes. “Did something happen?”

“Is that Kes?” Ezra squealed. “Can I say hi?”

Hera shook her head fondly, before passing the phone to Cassian, who was waiting.

CAPTAIN!” shouted Ezra happily. “You're here too!”  

“I still have no idea why you call me that,” said Cassian.

“Hey, let me talk to him,” Jyn reached for the phone.

“Who was that? Leia? Jyn?” 

Cassian met Jyn’s eyes with a wicked look. “Leia. Here you go.” 

“What- jerk,” she bit back a laugh as he passed Ezra over to Leia instead, who was gracious enough to let her, Cassian, Kes and Shara look over her shoulder into the screen so Ezra could see all of them.  

“Hi, kid,” greeted Kes. “You look like a bad Internet connection.”

“Says the piece of ass who never FaceTimes,” Ezra bit back.

“Speaking of FaceTime,” interrupted Han pointedly. “I don't have WiFi at the moment, and that call is costing me a lot of mobile data. Can we all stop pretending we've forgotten what the kid’s face looks like and get on with it? Please? I'm going to need a loan to cover up the cost.”

Leia glared. “Oh, shut up.” 

“No, he's right.” Ezra laughed sheepishly. “I'm also, uh. Also on mobile data. And yeah, I need to hear this news before one of us loses connection.”

“Okay, okay,” Leia handed the phone back to Han. “Go on, then. Tell us about the wedding.” 

“The wedding,” exclaimed Ezra, the penny finally dropping. “Ohh. So that's what it's about.”  

Sabine remained unimpressed. “Like I said. Laserbrain.”

Han leaned his phone back against the TV screen to give Ezra a good enough view of the living room while he settled on the floor beside Luke.

Hera squeezed her fiancé’s hand once, reassuringly, before turning to face their audience.

“So, obviously, you're all invited for the wedding.” 

On screen, Ezra went “Yess!” like this was new information.  

“We want to have it three months from now,” said Kanan. “And we'll most probably have it in California, close to our old residence. Which is where you lived with us, Ezra, Sabine.”  

Wow,” Sabine covered her smile with a hand, because there was no other way she could keep it down. “Really?”  

“It's a special place,” Hera shrugged. “Most meaningful venue we could think of.”

Ezra raised a hand. “Are Chopper and Zeb invited?”

Kanan raised an eyebrow. “What kind of question is that? Of course they are.”

“Dang it,” muttered Ezra.

“You want them there. I can tell.” 

“I do not! They’re annoying!”

“You love them,” said Hera primly. “And so do we, and we want every one of you at our wedding. No RSVPs, either. We’re giving you enough advance notice.” 

“I wouldn’t miss your wedding for anything in the world,” said Shara. “Also, it’s going to be so fun. Have you picked a bridesmaid?”

“Um. About that.” Hera awkwardly craned her neck. “We haven’t thought about that, yet.”

You haven’t thought about it,” pointed Kanan innocently. “I’ve already picked a best man and a ring bearer.”

“I’m the best man!” crowed Ezra. “Well, I have to be, right? I’m a better choice than Zeb.”

“Oh no.” Sabine crossed her arms. “If he gets to be best man-”  

“You’ll be my Maid of Honour,” promised Hera. “Okay? And you guys can be my bridesmaids. Or flower girls. Or whatever it is they have at weddings these days.” 

“Yes!” exclaimed Leia, fist-pumping the air. “Brilliant!” 

“We promise to be the best side-chicks ever,” said Jyn solemnly. “We do.” 

“But I am your best man?” Ezra ventured carefully.

“Yes, kid.” Kanan shook his head. “Who did you think it was, Zeb?”   

“He wanted Zeb too,” Hera whispered loudly. “And Chopper for ring-bearer.” 

“Look, there’s no reason I can’t have more than one best man! You get half a dozen bridesmaids.”

“Can I be the wedding bouncer?” asked Han.

“Weddings don’t have bouncers,” Leia shot him a look.

“Well, yours can have one. So everything goes smoothly. I’ll keep the drunk uncles out.”

“We’d be honoured,” Kanan assured him.

“See? He believes in wedding bouncers. You and I are going to get along great, Kanan.”

Sabine stood up from her spot on the rug, looking back and forth between Kanan and Hera. “I’m going to hug you both now. It seems appropriate for the occasion.”

Hera laughed and opened her arms for Sabine at the same moment Ezra started complaining that he couldn’t do that because he lived three states over.


When Hera and Kanan took the train back home that night (and this time, the correct train), she let her head rest of his shoulder, feeling a good kind of tired, and a lot of contentment that made it difficult to stop smiling, no matter how many strange looks they got from everyone else taking the subway.

“That went well, don’t you think?” Kanan asked as he unlocked the front door to their house.

“It’s the first step out of the way,” she agreed with a kiss to his cheek. “But now, you and I have a real big wedding to plan.”


Chapter Text

8:00 pm

Private Chat: Luke, Leia

Luke: leiiiiiaaa

Luke: Lay’s

Luke: can I ask you something?

Luke: actually I’m asking for a friend

Leia: Sure, shoot.

Leia: And stop calling me that

Luke: Lay’s are the best

Luke: anyway, what’s a good place to buy jewllweh

Luke: *jewellery

Luke: ??

Leia: Jewellery? What kind?

Luke: expensive stuff preferably

Luke: like wedding rings

Leia: Oh

Leia: Wait, who’s asking?

Luke: can’t sayyy

Leia: What do you mean you can’t say?

Leia: Come on.

Leia: Please?

Luke: nope I was Forbidden ™

Leia: It’s someone we know, isn’t it?

Leia: Is it Kes?


Luke: no

Luke: no it’s not kes

Luke: but like, good guess

Luke: but it’s not him

Luke: he’s not planning on proposing any time soon

Leia: Well, then who is it? Come on.

Leia: I won’t tell the girl, I promise.

Luke: do you solemnly swear upon your blood that you will not tell the girl

Luke: if you know her that is

Luke: i don’t think you know her

Leia: Ugh just tell me already!

Luke: ok ok

Luke: it’s cassian

Luke: but no one hears a word about this, ok?

Leia: Holy shit.

Leia: Cassian?

Leia: Are you serious?

Luke: you promised on your blood!

Leia: Alright I WON’T tell the girl, okay? I don’t even know who she is!

Leia: I didn’t even know he was in a relationship!

Luke: well

Luke: he’s a private guy

Luke: so what’s a good place for a wedding ring?

Leia: Give me a sec, I’ll brb. 





Private Chat: Jyn, Leia

Leia: JYN



Leia: This is serious

Leia: You’ve got to hear this


Leia: I’ll send you a few location pins.

Leia: These are the best jewellers I’ve heard of, anyway.

Luke: thanks Lay’s

Leia: You’re the worst.

Luke: ily<33


Jyn: Why who died?

Leia: That is NOT what a code red situation means.

Jyn: idk sounds pretty serious to me

Jyn: But I’m concerned now, what happened?

Leia: So

Leia: Luke just texted me

Leia: I’m gonna cut right to the chase here.

Leia: Cassian is seeing someone.

Jyn: What?

Leia: And apparently he’s thinking of proposing because he asked Luke to ask me where he can find wedding rings.

Jyn: Wait wtf

Jyn: you’re joking, right?

Leia: I’m not, Jyn.

Leia: It just happened.

Jyn: send proof.

Leia: Okay.

Leia: [IMAGE]

Leia: [IMAGE]

Leia: Luke said we don’t know the girl.

Jyn: Not possible

Jyn: I mean yeah he’s a private person and all but there’s no way he hid a serious fucking relationship from everyone all this time

Jyn: also Kay would’ve given it away at some point

Leia:Are you sure?

Jyn: Of course I am

Jyn: It can’t be, Leia. maybe Kes is the one who asked.

Leia: Well, Luke told me it wasn’t, but then again Luke would lie to protect Kes from getting found out.

Leia: Okay.

Leia: I think that clears it up.

Jyn: yeah duh

Jyn: ngl, you scared me for a moment there

Leia: Sorry!

Leia: I freaked out a little too.

Leia: But what you said makes a lot of sense.

Jyn: I think we can safely proceed under the assumption that it's not too late for me to shoot my shot

Leia: Well, this little scare is a reminder at least.

Leia: You’ve got to “shoot your shot” soon.

Leia: It’s a miracle someone like Cassian has stayed single for so long, but it’s not going to last forever.

Jyn: Crap I forgot to tell you

Jyn: I may or may not have got asked out last night

Jyn: *gotten?

Jyn: I think it’s got


Jyn: So bodhi’s car broke down before we started for han’s place

Jyn:and we hitched a ride with cassian

Leia: I know that bit WHAT NEXT?

Jyn: I don’t know if he asked me out it’s just a possibility

Leia: Well tell me the details so I can break them down and FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOU, HONEY

Jyn: idk

Jyn: We were talking about DC and some books we’ve both read then he randomly asked me if I’m going to nycc this year

Jyn: that’s comic con btw

Leia:: I KNOW, Jyn, I’m not stupid.

Jyn: he kind of said he wants to go together.

Jyn: but because Luke and Kes weren’t free

Leia: Oh. My. God.

Leia: It’s a date.

Jyn: how do you know?

Leia: Easy. Because Luke is definitely going this year.

Jyn: Fuck

Jyn: He is?

Leia: YES. He hasn’t been able to shut up about it since he got his tickets!

Leia: But until recently he didn’t think he’d get to go?

Leia: There’s a chance that that’s when Cassian asked him.

Jyn:you’re terrible at this analysis job

Leia: What were the other clues? 

Jyn: clues??

Jyn: I don't know!

Leia: Did he look nervous when he asked?

Jyn: Tbh I was too busy being nervous myself that I did not notice

Leia: Ughh

Leia: Was he awkward about it in any other way?

Jyn: again, did NOT notice.

Leia: You’re making this really difficult.

Jyn: excuse me, when you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship you don’t ask which seat and so forth

Leia: Pretty sure you stole that from somewhere.

Jyn: tumblr

Jyn: Besides the point.

Leia: Did he want it to be just the two of you? 

Jyn: I wanted it to be just the two of us

Jyn: He asked about bodhi but I said no on his behalf

Jyn: Gosh will that make things awkward?

Leia: You two are almost best friends. He’s your best friend after me and Bodhi. I don’t think it can be awkward, you get along just fine. 

Jyn: it’ll be hella awkward if I like him but he’s not on the same wavelength

Leia: I’m sure he does.

Leia: I wouldn’t ask Han to come with me to comic con if I wasn’t crazy over him

Leia: Which I’m not, mind you.

Leia: That’s not the point.

Jyn: Hmm.

Jyn: We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.

Jyn: This could be nothing

Leia: But it could also be him asking you out because you’re both massive nerds and a comic con is the most romantic setting he could think of.

Jyn: Oh zark off

Leia: I’m serious! 

Jyn: You’re coming for the thing tomorrow, right?

Leia: Yess.

Leia: I can’t wait!

Jyn: What's on the agenda?

Leia: Manicures for everyone, fish reflexology

Jyn: I am not going to let my toes be bitten off by fish

Leia: Buzzkill. It’s harmless.

Leia: We’re also going window-shopping and spoiling ourselves a bit.

Leia: And, if we’re feeling really adventurous, also dragging Hera into a lingerie store.

Jyn: now THAT’S a brilliant idea

Jyn: I have an item to add to the list

Jyn: McDonald’s

Jyn: no day outing is complete without junk food

Leia: I was actually thinking healthy stuff so we could actually fit into the clothes we buy.

Jyn: you’re buying clothes. I’m buying a Big Boss grilled chicken-n-cheese burger.

Leia: Well. It’s your cash.

Leia: But can you please dress nice for tomorrow?

Jyn: girlfriend I already have my outfit planned.

Leia: Please tell me it’s the crop top I gave you. Please.

Jyn: it’s better

Jyn: it’s my Spoderman t-shirt 

Jyn: you know, the meme spiderman? like the weird guy with the distorted face?

Leia: What did I do to deserve this.

Jyn: excuse me, I LOVE that shirt! It’s the funniest frigging thing on the planet.

Jyn: it has the spider pig song at the back

Leia: Where do you even find such atrocious clothing?

Jyn: spider pig, spider pig, does whatever a spider pig does

Jyn: can he swing from a web? no he can’t, he’s a pig

Jyn: look out he is spider pig!!!

Leia: Goodnight, Jyn. 

Jyn: so mean

Jyn: I hope spoderman haunts your dreams

Leia: You are such a weirdo

Leia: I guess I love you.

Jyn: you too, girlfran 

Jyn: I change my wish 

Jyn: May the great lord spoderman bless you always.

Leia: Goodnight, you terribly dressed human being. 

Jyn: Night, gorgeous!


9:30 pm

Private Chat: Kes, Cassian

Kes: Andor get your ass here right now

Kes: I need a favour

Cassian: Yes?

Kes: ok you agreed good.

Cassian: That was not agreement.

Kes: sHhhHh

Kes: Look, are you free tomorrow morning?

Cassian: Yes.

Kes: OK I need a big, BIG favour

Cassian: So you said, eight lines ago.

Kes: agsishdjd

Kes: So Kanan & Hera’s wedding thing

Kes: has me freaked out

Kes: because they're actual ppl actually getting married

Kes: and it reminded me

Kes: I need to get shara’s ring


Kes: I just asked Luke to get jewellery places recommendations from Leia

Kes: But I want to check out sephora first, cause it’s supposed to be really good yeah? If we find anything there Luke wouldn't even have to ask Leia and risk making them suspicious.

Cassian: Didn't you say that the attendants there know Shara too well?

Kes: I know she goes to a sephora closer to our place but you said there were other branches

Kes: Can we check out one of those tomorrow?

Cassian: I can tag along, Kes, but I can't promise I'll be of much help. I don't know the first thing about rings.

Kes: ik but like MORAL SUPPORT

Cassian: Well alright.

Cassian: Tomorrow morning at what time?

Kes: like 10 or something?

Cassian: Should be fine.

Kes: !!! Thank you!

Kes: ♡♡♡♡

Cassian: Anytime.

Cassian: Are you sure Shara won't get to know where you're going?

Kes: I've told her I have an interview. Anyway, she's going to Hera’s place or something.

Cassian: Good. It'd be problematic if we happened to run into her on this trip.

Kes: Yeah you're telling me this is legit like a secret mission, I never usually lie to her so much

Kes: So I'll come pick you up 9.30?

Cassian: Sounds good.

Kes: Awesome

Kes: also this doesn't need to be said but DON'T TELL ANYONE

Kes: Not even Jyn, she's really close to Shara

Cassian: What do you take me for? Of course I won't tell.

Kes: I know, but you go from the world's most talented liar to a total ammature at lying when it comes to Jyn

Kes: I can't believe you've hid your crush on her for so long successfully from everyone

Cassian: Ugh

Cassian: How many times do I need to tell you, it's not a crush.

Kes: Hm you're right, that's too mild a term for being a total goner

Cassian: Whatever.

Cassian: Shut up.

Kes: You love me.

Cassian: I doubt it more every day.

Kes: uwu :3

Cassian: I'll see you tomorrow at 9.30.

Kes: You didn't uwu me back!!

Cassian: Goodnight, Kes.

Kes: Where's the love man

Kes: goodnight you stick in the mud

Kes: may you have dreams of the person of your dreams ;)

Cassian: Why are we friends

Cassian: Wait. We're related. I never had a choice.

Kes: UWU!!!!!!

Cassian: sigh

Cassian: uwu

Kes: oh my God I am screenshotting this and framing it on my wall

Kes: History was made tonight!

Cassian: Can I go now? You'll have the whole of tomorrow morning to torment me in person.

Kes: haha

Kes: You are released, my servant.

Cassian: Thank you.

Kes: Sweet dreams best fran

Cassian: I give up.


“No. No, no, no, no.

Jyn easily found her group of friends in a prime spot of the open food court by virtue of Sabine’s loud disagreement to something the others had suggested. She made her way over to them, exchanging a quick greeting with everyone, Sabine included, before promptly sitting herself down on Leia’s lap. Sabine went back to protesting.

“I did not sign up for this! And I told you- I told you - that I wasn't on board with it!”

“What's going on?” Jyn whispered to Leia.

Leia rolled her eyes. “Shara is trying to convince her she can't stand waiting outside the store while we help Hera find bridal lingerie.”

Jyn chortled. “Holy Zircon. And Hera agreed to it?”

“I was just being gracious,” Hera pointed out, catching on. “I may just regret it a tiny amount now.”

“Oh, come on,” Shara chided. “It's not like you can ask your fiancé for an opinion.”

Hera narrowed her eyes testily. “I could just go with my gut.”

“Guts aren’t safe enough for wedding night choices, honey,” Shara wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, causing Hera to exhaustedly palm her face.

“Also, Hera’s like a mom to me. Or a big sister.” Sabine made a face. “I don’t want to see what she’s going to wear on her wedding night!”

Jyn snatched the cup of pink boba on the table in front of her, assuming it was Leia’s. “You know, Sab’s got a point.”

“Get your own boba,” protested Leia. “You keep finishing mine saying you’re only tasting the flavours so you can buy one for yourself yet you never do.”

Jyn slurped up a significant fraction of the drink. “I haven’t found the right flavour yet.”

Bullshit. From your track record of finishing my drinks, everything is the right flavour.”

“Can we take a vote on this?” Hera interrupted, tapping at the table to get their attention. Once everyone had turned their heads, she clasped her hands together. “There’s no point voting on the lingerie thing, because there are three of you and two of us, but how about we all do some regular shopping, spoil ourselves a bit?”

“Sounds good,” mumbled Jyn around the straw, and Leia made an annoyed noise but wrapped her arms around her friend’s waist, burying her nose in her hair.

“I agree,” she sighed.

“You guys are so fucking cute,” snickered Shara.

Sabine rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe you act like this in front of Han and Cassian and expect them to think you’re interested in them .”

“You’re just jealous,” said Jyn, who’d now finished the drink in its entirety. “Leia and I have the purest form of friendship. Don’t we, Leia?”

“Oh, gosh, ew.” Leia pulled back, wrinkling her nose. “You used that bloody citrus shampoo again.”

Shara laughed so obnoxiously loudly that she drew stares from across the food court.

Hera rubbed her temples like it was the beginning of a headache, but the small smile twitching at the corner of her lips gave her away.

Anyway, as I was saying,” she looked around at them pointedly. “We need to vote on what do first. We have a whole day, after all.”

“I vote we go for a movie,” Sabine piped up. “Movie, anyone?”

“Movie!” enthused Jyn. “We can go for the new Jordan Peele.”

“Uh, no. No movie,” Shara raised an eyebrow. “That’s three hours wasted, you guys. Also that’s not hanging out.

“I vote we all go buy ourselves clothes from all the places having Spring discounts,” said Leia, who side-eyed Jyn. “And not only because of the discounts.”

Jyn pouted. “Spoderman did nothing to deserve your hate.”

“How can you walk around in public wearing that!”

“Ladies, calm down.” Hera rolled her eyes. “I propose neutral territory for the first item.”

“Lingerie stores are not neutral territory,” noted Sabine appreciatively, popping her chin in her hands.

“So, uh...neutral means something no one has suggested yet…” Hera looked around, her eyes scanning over the big brand names boasted by the mall. Clothes, furniture, sports goods, Bath&Bodyworks—

Triumphantly, she grinned and got to her feet, sweeping her side-bag and coffee-cup up with her as she did.

Hera dramatically flipped her sunglasses down over her eyes.

“Chin up, ladies. We’re going to Sephora.”



Kes pulled his gleaming Ford Mustang into the halfway-crowded parking lot of the Kyber Galleries mall, all the while inconspicuously looking around for familiar faces. Or rather, he thought he was being inconspicuous. His nerves at the idea of getting caught by Shara were almost tangible, and Cassian sighed.

“When you know your car is recognizable from a mile away, why didn’t you just bring me here in a cab?”

“Hey, I can’t think of everything!” protested Kes, unclipping his seatbelt.

“We need a cover story if we run into someone Shara knows,” said Cassian, ignoring him. “Something casual, unremarkable. What would we tell them?”

“Uh, I don’t know.” Kes rubbed the back of his neck. “We’re here for you? You need a new shirt or something?”

“We can say we’re just here for lunch. Completely unmemorable and, if Shara gets to know, believable. You usually drop in at my place when she’s not at home for lunch.”

“Huh. Who knew you were so smart.” Kes grinned. “Okay. Okay, okay. We’re going to do this. I’m pumped. We’re going to get a ring and I’m going to propose.”

Cassian clapped him encouragingly on the shoulder before they both got out of the car, and headed towards the direction of the mall entrance, stuffing their hands in their pockets as the wind blew a chilly streak. Kes was by this point positively vibrating with both nerves and excitement.

The mall was a big place, four stories tall with an open yard in the middle serving as a giant food court, so it was a while before they located a Sephora. Everyone they stopped to ask directions from looked momentarily surprised upon the inquiry, and honestly, this should’ve been the first sign that something wasn’t quite right, because how odd could it be that a guy was looking for a jewellery store that was supposed to sell expensive diamond rings?

But they did come across the store at last, on the third floor but visible probably to the entire building through the open space in the middle of it, and found themselves more than a little confused.

Cassian and Kes stared for an embarrassing amount of time at the model’s face with the pink background, dusting some kind of makeup brush on her cheeks.

“Uh, who recommended this place, again?”

Kes blinked. “Luke? I think it was Luke. But he sounded pretty sure.”

“Maybe it’s an accessory store.” Cassian looked up at the board again. “You know. Like an Aldo or something. We could still check it out.”

Kes snapped out of it, nodding wisely. “Yeah. No way Luke got a cosmetics store confused with a jewellery store, right? Didn’t he work part time at a cosmetics store?”

“I think that was Sabine,” admitted Cassian.

“Gosh dammit.” Kes faced the storefront with a hard look. “You know what, you’re right. We should still check it out. At the very worst it’s going to actually be a makeup store and we can tell Shara this story after the proposal and the girls will all laugh at us.”

Cassian caught himself imagining Jyn’s mirth at his own stupidity, and tucked the picture away before he could allow himself to appreciate it.

He followed Kes inside, feeling only a little self-conscious as he did. He didn’t care that the place was full of shelves of colourful cosmetics and advertisements featuring women predominantly, but it was just a little embarrassing when each pair of eyes they passed turned on them in confusion.

It took them a few more minutes of aimlessly wandering down the aisles to conclude that they weren’t going to find what they were searching for, and Cassian opened his mouth to propose that they leave before that very eager store assistant walked up to them offering help, but he was cut off by the sound of loud voices.

Familiar voices.

Kes panicked. It took more time for the reality of the situation to hit Cassian, but his cousin had thus far been on high-alert and accustomed enough to the sound of his girlfriend’s voice that he bolted on instinct.

Where did he—

Cassian looked around, hurriedly scanning every direction for Kes, but he was nowhere to be seen. The sound of the girls’ voices, however, was nearby, and his heart raced with the need to find a way out of this mess now .

The friendly assistant tittered over to him.

“Hello, sir. You seem to be new here! Is there anything specific you’re looking for?”

“Can you, uh…” Cassian desperately looked around the aisles. He wanted to ask for an alternative route out of the store, but he was pretty sure that would only result in weird looks and more time wasted. “Can you direct me to the men’s…” Shit, did this place cater to men? “I mean, the skincare products?”

“Of course.” The assistant beamed. “Two aisles over, you’ll find our full range of face-masks and other cleansing products.”

“Right. Thanks.” He turned around, keeping his head bowed. That information actually helped- the skincare essentials were located far away enough that he might not get spotted and close enough to the doors so he could slip through unnoticed. He hoped Kes had gotten away, because there was no way he could save both their hides at this stage.

He settled for a brisk walk, taking a corner sharply in the hopes of getting there faster, but he had to abruptly grind his feet to a halt when a flash of purple passed in front of him.

“Oh, sorry!”

“No, I’m sorry,” started Cassian, ready to brush it aside and continue on his way, but then he made the mistake of looking up.

Sabine stared at him, her jaw dropping open, and also dropping the multiple items she’d been holding onto.

He took an instinctive step back, brain working a hundred miles a minute to come up with a story explaining his presence here. Before Leia popped out of the aisle beside Sabine. Followed by a confused-looking Hera wondering what they were all gaping at. Followed by Shara, who just reared back and stared .

He held his palms up because he very much felt like someone caught in the act who was about to get arrested.

“I can explain.”

Shit, why did the most obvious, incriminating thing he could possibly say leave his mouth in this situation?

Then, as if things couldn’t possibly get worse, Jyn wandered over to her group of friends and a did a double-take when she spotted him.


He turned to her, trying to ignore everyone else’s stares. Jyn he could communicate with best, or at least he could crack a joke and distract them, but he had to pause again when he noticed what Jyn had on.

Why the everloving Spock did she have to look so damn cute today?

“Yeah, so, this is awkward,” he stuttered out at last, trying to ignore the adorable scrunch on the bridge of Jyn’s nose. “But I wanted, uh. A face-mask. You know, for your...for your skin.”

It only took a second for Leia’s expression to shift from confused and suspicious to total comprehension. “Ohh. Well, sorry then.” She laughed, almost sheepishly. “It’s just weird to run into you here of all places, but that makes a lot of sense.”

You can play this. This is a good line.

“I guess you stumbled on my secret, then,” he offered them an embarrassed smile, though he certainly didn’t have to forge embarrassment. “Yeah. I come here for skincare stuff. It’s, uh. I don’t like acne. And the weather’s so dry that... I’m getting dry skin these days. Bleeding pores and all that.”

Sabine shook her head. “Hey, sorry we reacted like dickheads. We were just a bit surprised.”

“You’re right, though,” said Hera seriously. “You need a skincare routine especially when the weather’s like this.”

Shara crossed her arms. “You have a skincare routine?”

“Uh...yes.” Cassian prayed that they wouldn’t ask him what exactly his routine was.

To his surprise, Shara then threw her arms up in frustration. “Andor, you are literally perfect. Do you know how much we appreciate guys whose masculinity isn’t so fragile they can’t even shop for face wash? And you have a whole damn skincare routine! You should force Kes to take it up too. I mean, I love him, but he thinks he’s going to look young forever without taking care of himself.”

His cheeks were flaring, and he definitely couldn’t bring himself to look at Jyn now. He didn’t want to see that she wasn't buying his story the least. Shit, what if she thought he was lying? Why would he lie about being here? Unless he was doing something for another girl?

No, she has no reason to suspect that. I’ve never let on that I like anyone else. Would she care, anyway? It’s not like we’re going out or anything—

“...and really, how the hell are you still single?” finished Shara.

He couldn’t figure out a response besides smile awkwardly, and couldn’t help but risk a glance at Jyn.

Jyn, who hadn’t said a word so far, and raised an eyebrow laced with skepticism when she caught his gaze.

Well shit.


Chapter Text


Leia likes to post pretty pictures of Jyn, although Jyn insists that it ruins the "troll under a bridge" vibe she's going for. She secretly doesn't mind at all and Leia knows this. Something to do with Cassian seeing the pictures and always leaving a like.


Bodhi is an aspiring model on his Instagram. He has several hundred followers, and Luke is his chirpy, supportive photographer. Seriously, those two plan out shoots at fancy locations and everything. Han is supportive too, in his own bizarre way.


Cassian hardly ever posts anything. The rare occasions he does, it's either promoting some kind of social campaign or pictures of the sunset and various scenery. His profile picture is always a very professional one where he's in a suit or something. Han keeps telling him that Instagram isn't LinkedIn. He doesn't understand why everyone thinks his social media is lame.


Luke's feed is the most cheerful place on this side of the planet. Cute animals in hats. Airplane models. Aesthetic origami. Many adorable selfies and pictures with Bodhi. Pictures of Han taken when he's not looking. Pictures of him and Leia as kids. All with ridiculously happy captions.


Not even Cassian is immune to the combination of Bodhi and Luke making puppy faces. Not that he really has a problem with it. Anything to promote Bodhi's page and it doesn't hurt that Jyn gets to see these pictures, either.


Then there's Ezra. His is a gaming account showing unerring dedication to the Pewdiepie vs. T-Series battle for subscribers. Sabine doesn't know why she even follows him. She tells herself it's so she can keep an eye on him and alert Hera and Kanan if he's being edgy, but really she just misses him and his little eccentricities.

Zeb makes his first appearance in the story, and his username puts all others to shame.

Chapter Text

7.15 AM

Group Chat: Exclusive Territory


Hera: Hey guys. Just wanted to thank you all for such a great time yesterday, I really appreciate it and it was a lot of fun!

Hera: Except now I have to hide a bridal lingerie set from Kanan, and hope he doesn’t accidentally discover it.

Shara: OMG XD

Shara: If you’re really concerned though you could keep it at my place until the wedding comes around.

Hera: Good idea

Hera: Thanks!

Shara: I would’ve put my own set to good use last night itself if Kes had been at home ugh

Sabine: B O U N D A R I E S PLEASE

Shara: Hey I was excited okay! Really wanted to test it out

Jyn: Why wasn’t Kes home?

Shara: I have no idea. He texted me saying he got a call from work and it was an emergency.

Jyn: huh

Sabine: oh thank god otherwise you’d probably be treating us to even more details rn

Shara: Oh yes, details! Did I tell you about that time we


Shara: We’re preparing you for the real world love

Sabine: this is going to be the reason I stay single for life

Leia: Hey bitches, ready for the ultimate display of LEG?

Leia: [IMAGE]


Leia: Compliment accepted ;)

Sabine: whyyyy just WHY would you send that

Jyn: omgggg



Jyn: forwarding image to Han

Leia: Thank you, my lovelies.

Leia: Don’t you FUCKING dare jyn ffs

Shara: I drool

Shara: jyn try on the set you got and send pics

Jyn: hey, no.

Jyn: the government is monitoring our chats

Sabine: surprised you aren’t joining in

Sabine: I genuinely thought you’d be on my side yesterday

Sabine: but you go get yourself a set too

Hera: You’re right, sending pictures is not safe.

Shara: Unless your n00ds have the national security trigger words in them I don’t think they’re gonna pull them up

Leia: Jyn actually has national security level n00ds

Sabine: did I mention that you guys are REALLY STRANGE?

Jyn: you’re right tho I can’t believe I let them sell me a set that I’m never going to use except to send Leia pics that she’d inadvertently distribute to the rest of you

Hera: The sales people were quite persuasive.

Leia: Hey, that’s not true.

Leia: You most certainly will be putting them to good use.

Leia: (Did someone say NYCC??)



Shara: Wait what’s happening at NYCC?

Jyn: nope no

Jyn: I am burning that set

Hera: What? Why?

Sabine: im confused

Shara: It’s Comic Con

Sabine: I know THAT jeez

Leia: How much money are you willing to bet on it?

Jyn: uh. All my life’s savings? Though that isn’t much

Leia: Done! You owe me all your life’s savings if you get laid at NYCC.

Hera: Wait what??


Jyn: im cosplaying as a sexy nurse and Leia thinks that’s gonna get me laid




Private Chat: Leia, Jyn



Jyn: DUDE!!!

Leia: But you said it was okay to tell?

Jyn: yeah but

Jyn: that was before yesterday, ok?

Leia: What changed yesterday?

Jyn: look it’s obviously not a date and I don’t want to come off as pathetic

Jyn: when we all find out who his actual girlfriend is

Jyn: it’s just going to be terrible

Leia: What.

Leia: What.

Leia: What are you talking about?!

Jyn: leia

Jyn: we caught him at a sephora

Leia: Um, yeah. Buying skincare products.

Jyn: I can’t believe you fell for that.

Leia: What do you mean?

Leia: I don’t get it.



Shara: I’m. So confused.

Hera: A nurse?

Leia: I dared her to.

Leia: She hates it.

Leia: But she lost a bet really badly, so there’s no backing out.

Shara: Isn’t the point of comic con to go as comic characters?

Jyn: its an Arkham asylum nurse

Sabine: Arkham asylum has nurses?

Shara: That is MORTIFYING omg

Shara: What was the bet?

Leia: Something to do with Han...

Hera: Oh, so it’s personal then.


Shara: You take no prisoners do you Leia

Jyn: ugh

Jyn: do you have any idea how stupid I’m going to look?

Sabine: I have a pretty good idea and it’s really funny

Jyn: so mean

Sabine: Leia we’re counting on you for some good pics of this

Leia: I ordered this off Amazon for Jyn

Leia: [IMAGE]


Sabine: E P I C

Hera: Am I the only one that feels sorry for Jyn?

Leia: Yup.




Jyn: thanks for the save.

Leia: Anytime. I’m sorry, by the way.

Leia: I didn’t know there was an issue.

Leia: But what’s going on?

Jyn: I feel pathetic

Jyn: just. All this drama over a guy. I can’t.

Leia: Please tell me what’s going on.

Jyn: Cassian was lying.

Jyn: I can tell when he’s lying, okay? And that bs face mask explanation was a straight up lie and not even a good one.

Leia: Are you sure?

Jyn: he looked way too guilty for a guy who was shopping there for face masks.

Jyn: and he was pretty darn far away from the skincare aisle

Leia: I’m sure he was just on his way there.

Jyn: look, if he was a regular he’d know how to get there fast instead of sneaking through the middle of the aisles

Jyn: it’s right next to the fucking entrance for crying out loud

Leia: You think he was shopping for someone?

Jyn: obviously.

Jyn: look, let’s not get worked up over this

Jyn: I don’t want this drama

Leia: I’m going to talk to him.

Jyn: wtf no

Leia: What? He can’t just give you mixed signals and play with your feelings like this!

Jyn: that is. exactly. the kind of drama I want to AVOID

Leia: He has no right

Leia: How are you so calm about this?

Leia: I want to go to his place and demand answers

Jyn: please don’t

Jyn: come to my place?

Jyn: we can go out for boba

Leia: Of course, Jyn.

Leia: I’m sorry.

Leia: Just really pissed off.

Leia: Can I just ask Cassian what his deal is? I won’t go to his place, just send a text.

Jyn: Don’t.

Leia: Alright.

Leia: I’m just angry.

Jyn: Ik.

Jyn: Me too



10.30 PM

Private Chat: Cassian, Kay


Kay: It is 10.30.

Kay: I have told you multiple times to warn me in advance if you’re coming home after 10.00.

Kay: Update me with where you are or I will use the GPS tracker enabled on your phone to find you.

Cassian: Jesus

Cassian: I thought I told you to disable that tracker

Kay: Where are you?

Cassian: Han’s.

Kay: What are you doing at Han Solo’s place?

Cassian: Why is the tracker still working?

Kay: Redundant question. It is for the purpose of your own safety. The likelihood of life being endangered is higher for those who travel via public transport and on foot compared to those who drive their own private vehicles.

Cassian: Hm, pretty sure accidents happen more with private vehicles than public transport.

Kay: I am not talking about accidents.

Kay: I am talking about the danger possessed by those in your environment.

Cassian: So you enable the tracker if I’m not home by 10 and...notify the police?

Kay: If multiple attempts to contact you fail, then yes. I will assume the worst and call the police.

Cassian: I don’t think my own grandmother was this protective.

Kay: I don’t see why I shouldn’t be concerned for your safety.

Cassian: No

Cassian: It’s much appreciated, Kay, even if the tracker is a little creepy.

Kay: What are you doing at Han Solo’s place?

Cassian: Is that necessary information?

Kay: It might be, so I will have someplace to start from if you don’t get home before morning.

Cassian: Wow

Cassian: Fine. We’re playing FIFA.

Kay: How long will you be playing this game?

Cassian: mierda

Cassian: I don’t know

Cassian: How about I call you when I’m about to leave? Is that okay?

Kay: That is sufficient.

Cassian: OK

Cassian: Thanks, Kay.

Kay: You are welcome.



12.01 AM

Group Chat: Guys


Han: @Bodhi you left your socks

Han: How did you manage to leave your socks?

Han: They are on my carpet.

Bodhi: dammit

Bodhi: sorry about that

Han: How didn’t you notice you left without socks?

Bodhi: my shoes were warm for some reason

Han: ...because that’s why people wear socks.

Luke: I’m still on my way home

Luke: also my cab guy is giving me the creeps

Cassian: Fake a phone call and tell the person on the other end what the number of the cab is. Make it loud.

Han: Jeeesus

Han: Is your life constantly endangered or something?

Cassian: These are survival skills.

Bodhi: wait you didn’t take an Uber?? just got into a random unmarked cab??

Luke: Well...there were no Ubers available at 11 in the night

Han: How is the driver creeping you out? Does he appear to be armed?

Luke: no

Luke: but um he’s on this shady sounding phone call

Cassian: Call me.

Luke: okay

Luke: will you pretend to be my dad?

Cassian: I don’t think that’s necessary.

Luke: but you have to sound like a big scary guy

Bodhi: use your assassin voice!!

Cassian: What?

Bodhi: you sometimes switch to this super serious assassin voice

Luke: yess use your assassin voice!

Cassian: ...okay.

Han: Man I hope Luke gets home alive.

Han: I’m going to keep Leia on standby, just in case.

Bodhi: good idea

Han: I’ve never had a creepy cabbie experience

Bodhi: me neither but jyn has had like 3

Han: 3??

Bodhi: yeah so this one time it was a guy who kept taking the wrong road on purpose like even when she told him not to take the road?

Han: What the fuck.

Han: What did she do?

Bodhi: guess.

Han: She strangled him with her scarf from the backseat

Han: And then chloroformed him and took over the wheel and drove herself to safety

Bodhi: no wtf

Han: It’s Jyn.

Bodhi: well yeah jyn might do that if she carried CHLOROFORM AROUND!

Bodhi: geez

Bodhi: wait why do you think carrying chloroform around is something people do?

Han: Are you kidding me? You need to be prepared in case of a kidnapping attempt. Leia carries a bottle with her.

Bodhi: you’re fucking with me

Bodhi: please tell me you’re fucking with me

Han: Who do you think told her where to get the bottle from?

Cassian: I checked in with Luke. He got home safe.

Bodhi: thank heaven!!!

Cassian: I’m pretty sure it isn’t legal to carry chloroform on your person.

Han: Who told you that?

Bodhi: han who the FUCK carries a kidnapping drug with them??

Han: A defence against kidnapping in this instance.

Cassian: It’s illegal.

Han: No it’s not.

Han: Lando connected me to a guy who sold them. Very nice chap.

Han: Also what did Jyn actually do?

Bodhi: she called Cassian and he pretended to be her police boyfriend

Han: Police boyfriend? How did anyone fall for that?

Bodhi: are you shitting me anyone trying to do something shady would get scared

Han: So you were Jyn’s Police boyfriend over the phone, and Luke’s dad.

Cassian: No.

Cassian: Luke’s Police boyfriend.


Bodhi: i m wheeezinggg

Han: Have I mentioned how weird the lot of you are?

Han: It’s so much simpler to just carry chloroform.

Cassian: You and I need to have a talk.

Luke: hi everyone!

Luke: and hi babe @Cassian my knight in shining armour

Bodhi: you cheated on me!

Luke: well, you didn’t save me from a creepy cabbie did you now

Cassian: Anyway, I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.

Luke: nooo come back :(

Bodhi: that’ll teach you to cheat

Han: Shit

Han: Guys I googled it.

Han: Chloroform is actually illegal

Luke: what

Bodhi: took you long enough

Han: This is really bad

Han: I’m going to call Leia and tell her to get rid of it.


Han: This is an emergency Luke

Luke: I feel like I’m missing some context

Bodhi: this bright idiot introduced Leia to a kidnapping drug as a form of self defence

Luke: WHAT

Luke: Haaaaan

Luke: are u serious??

Bodhi: she’s not in any immediate danger han just text her

Bodhi: she’ll see it before she goes anywhere in the mornin

Han: You’re right.

Han: God I hope she’s okay.

Luke: Chill

Bodhi: I can’t fall asleep

Bodhi: keep thinking about my socks

Han: You mean these socks

Han: [IMAGE]


Bodhi: dude wtf! disgusting!!

Han: ;)

Han: Wait don’t go

Han: I actually have a question

Bodhi: what

Han: So remember when we were going through Lando’s intel today

Luke: you mean his stalker files

Han: It’s not stalking if it’s publicly available information!

Luke: dude. it’s stalking.


Han: I don’t know if you guys remember this but when we looked into Lando’s theory that Jyn might be into that dude and not Leia, Cassian got all weirdly tensed up.

Luke: what does he have to worry about

Luke: doubt that dude can be her police boyfriend

Han: Why do I even bother

Bodhi: wait he actually got all tense?

Han: Yeah. I’ve never seen it before.

Han: Do you think he has a thing for Jyn?

Luke: no. WAY!!

Luke: sure we didn’t imagine it??

Han: Idk, looked a lot like it to me.

Bodhi: just saying, but it would actually make sense…


Bodhi: no, nothing. he just asked her out to Comic-Con.

Han: What.

Bodhi: in the car. on the way to movie night.

Bodhi: wait will he murder me for telling this?

Han: They’re a thing?

Han: You’re kidding me.

Bodhi: no they’re not a thing

Bodhi: they might like each other that’s all

Luke: guys

Luke: if cassian is ghosting on this chat right now we’re all dead meat.

Han: Oh shit.

Han: Delete these messages ASAP

Bodhi: he’s gonna kill me…


Luke: the whole chat??

Han: Yes. We can pretend it’s an accident. Or else he’ll see that only the messages after he left have been deleted.

Luke: yeah you’re right!

Bodhi: we are so dead

Bodhi: he’s going to bring all his secret service friends and make us vanish

Bodhi: going to go now and tell my cats I love them

Han: Drama queen

Luke: am I a group admin?

Han: Yes. Luckily you only need two admins to erase all the data.

Luke: wow close save

Luke: Commencing: Operation Cinder.








12.47 AM

Group Chat: Guys


This chat is empty. Make it less lonely; send a message!

Chapter Text


10.14 AM

Group Chat: Guys


Ezra: hey where did all the messages go??

Bodhi: good morning!

Han: I think it got deleted by accident.

Ezra: hii

Ezra: but how?

Han: Not sure.

Kes: Hey yall how did last night’s discussions go?

Kes: Again sorry I couldn’t make it

Ezra: sigh

Ezra: I’m always missing out

Han: According to Lando, there’s some dude that Leia and Jyn are both following

Han: They always comment on his stuff

Kes: Someone we don’t know?

Han: Yeah he’s not in our circle

Kes: Username?

Han: Del something

Bodhi: @del_meeko

Ezra: stalking now!

Kes: K I’m gonna check him out

Kes: Holy shit

Han: Holy shit is right…

Ezra: ok I don’t mean to be a dick but this guy is gorgeous

Han: He’s decent

Bodhi: no, he’s gorgeous, and you’re just jealous

Han: He doesn’t seem Leia’s type

Han: So he might be Jyn’s

Kes: I don’t mean to add fuel to this shitfire

Kes: But he’s anyone’s type

Han: Just because you all think he looks good doesn’t mean he’s Leia’s type!

Ezra: there there

Han: Seriously, Lando is more Leia’s type than this guy.

Kes: What does Cassian make of this?

Kes: He usually has more common sense than the rest of us

Ezra: excuse me!!

Kes: It’s true

Han: Cassian thinks Lando’s findings aren’t indicative of anything

Bodhi: or I quote, “largely insufficient information on which to base any important decisions”

Ezra: I just read that in Cassian’s voice

Kes: Sounds more like his robot roommate to me

Bodhi: omg we should ask kay!

Han: No

Han: No

Han: A hundred times no

Ezra: why?

Han: I’m telling you it’s not worth it

Kes: Maybe Cass is right tho

Kes: Lando was wrong last time

Bodhi: yeah also he has shady contacts like chloroform suppliers

Ezra: what?

Bodhi: long story.

Kes: But how did Lando come across this anyway?

Han: He didn’t explain the process to me and I didn’t ask

Bodhi: which is why we all think this is seriously morally wrong

Ezra: it’s kinda stalker-ish

Han: I keep telling you, he didn’t do anything illegal

Bodhi: press X to doubt.


Kes: XXX

Han: Oh ha ha

Kes: k so they comment on his pics, so what?

Han: Wait I’ll share

Han: [IMAGE]

Han: [IMAGE]

Han: [IMAGE]

Ezra: ???

Ezra: maybe those are inside jokes?

Kes: Definitely inside jokes

Han: They seem to have a lot of those with this guy

Han: Whom we’ve never even met

Han: I mean I’m not saying they shouldn’t have friends outside our circle

Han: Leia has a lot of contacts

Han: But Jyn too?

Han: Jyn hates people

Bodhi: she doesn’t interact with new people, yes

Bodhi: maybe Leia introduced them

Han: Three of them seem really close though

Kes: I’m gonna go with Cassian and say that it’s a leap

Ezra: yup

Kes: Maybe they’re all in the same book club or smth

Ezra: book club yeah right

Kes: Hey just saying

Han: Do you think I’ve missed my chance

Han: She might get more pissed at me than usual if she already has a bf

Han: Or if she likes this guy and they have a thing

Bodhi: you could just

Bodhi: do something?? Like ask her out already?

Bodhi: then you’ll know for sure

Han: But what if she gets mad?


Kes: She won’t get mad if you ask nicely

Ezra: she’ll turn you down politely

Han: Oh gee thanks Ezra

Ezra: I didn’t say for sure!

Han: Anyway

Han: Supposing I could ask her

Han: How do I do it?

Kes: This needs a bit of thinking

Ezra: a bit?? knowing Han he’s not gonna think at all and screw up

Han: You are SO supportive

Ezra: we need to call in an expert

Han: Like?

Ezra: one of leia’s friends

Ezra: who knows the things she likes and stuff

Han: Hey I know what she likes!

Ezra: no

Ezra: we need someone from the girls side

Ezra: an inside man

Ezra: girl

Kes: Dude, they’re all super loyal to each other

Kes: They’ll tell Leia

Han: Really bad idea

Ezra: we could make them promise

Han: Oh because THAT always works

Ezra: shHhhhH

Ezra: I’m thinking Sabine

Ezra: she’s not like, leia and jyn

Ezra: so she wouldn’t spill if we made some kinda deal

Bodhi: I have a bad feeling about this

Han: No

Han: That’s a horrible idea

Ezra: she’ll keep it secret if I ask her!

Kes: I dunno

Kes: She more loyal to you or the girls?

Ezra: look we’re like bffs

Han: Big risk

Kes: Look why don’t you come up with a plan to ask Leia out anyway

Han: What if she says no?


Luke: nahhh she won’t say no

Luke: not unless you catch her in a really bad mood

Han: What makes you think that?

Luke: cuz it’s Leia

Luke: I know my sister ok

Kes: The last time you were this sure about something

Kes: Cassian and I wound up lost in a cosmetics store

Luke: what??

Han: ????

Bodhi: omg WHAT

Ezra: what do you mean?

Kes: Yup

Luke: when did I direct you to a cosmetics store??

Kes: Does the name Sephora ring a bell?

Luke: Sephora is a jewellery store!!!!



Kes: And it’s not just on Luke because NONE OF YOU KNEW EITHER

Han: Hey how are we supposed to know??

Han: You’re the one with a girlfriend, you should know better!


Kes: Also

Kes: This happened to be the day Hera took the girls out

Kes: And they walked right into the bloody store while we were wondering where the fucking diamonds were

Luke: NO!!WAY!!!!

Bodhi: seriously??


Kes: He had to explain to them what he was doing in there!

Han: Oh

Han: My

Han: God




Kes: It was NOT funny

Ezra: dude wtfffff

Ezra: no no that’s the DEFINITION of funny

Ezra: !!!!!!!


Luke: they didn’t catch you??

Kes: No I managed to hide

Kes: But it was clearly the worst day of my cousin’s life

Cassian: Good morning. And thank you, everyone, for all being completely unreliable sources of information.

Cassian: Not one of you knew what Sephora was?

Ezra: how did you explain yourself to the girls omg

Cassian: I said I was there for skincare products

Han: Good save man

Kes: Yeah he even got complimented for it

Cassian: Let’s not revisit that memory.

Cassian: I notice all the previous messages are gone?

Bodhi: Accident

Cassian: I thought there was a two-factor authentication system in this app for clearing chat history.

Han: Probably got wiped out by a bug or something.

Cassian: That makes sense

Cassian: I advise uninstalling the app and running a virus scan before installing again

Kes: Nobody is going to do that

Cassian: Your loss.

Han: We should do that just to be safe

Ezra: ok fine when you do it tell us if you found a virus

Kes: I refuse to spend my morning on this

Cassian: What about the ring, do you have it sorted now?

Kes: I have a couple of ideas

Luke: no cosmetic stores this time?

Kes: Shut up.


New Private Chat: Kes, Kanan


Kes: Hi

Kes: This is Kes

Kes: We met on movie night, if you remember?

Kes: I was wondering if I could get advice on something


Kes: Oh BTW remember Hera’s fiancé?

Han: Nice chap

Bodhi: what about him?

Kes: Think we should add him to this group?

Kes: Seeing as we’re gonna be around for his wedding and all

Kes: would be weird if we don’t keep in touch

Cassian: We should add him

Cassian: But I am not sure how he would react to the kind of conversations you frequently have on this group.

Ezra: nah he’s chill

Ezra: anyway he doesn’t even know leia or the other girls that well he won’t tell them

Ezra: also I trust him with my life

Han: Hmm

Han: You’re absolutely positive he won’t tell Leia?

Ezra: no, he minds his own business

Han: Well okay then

Han: Do you think we should add Lando back?

Han: I kind of feel bad now

Luke: dude nobody was ever mad at him except for you

Han: I’ll add him back but istg if he pulls a stunt like that again


Han added Kanan

Han added Lando


Han: Anyone else?

Cassian: Yes, Kay said he’d like to be removed from the group.

Han: Of course he said that


Han removed Kay


Bodhi: ummm guys?

Bodhi: speaking of adding and removing ppl

Bodhi: is it possible to leave a group without people in the group being notified that you left?

Ezra: no it shows if you leave

Han: Of course it does

Han: What kind of question is that?

Bodhi: nothing

Bodhi: it’s just that

Bodhi: so the girls have a group, ok? just like this one

Bodhi: and they accidentally added me

Han: Wait, what?

Luke: yeah and I was supposed to tell Leia to remove him as soon as it happened but I kind of forgot

Bodhi: and now it’s been like a month

Bodhi: and if I leave they’ll see that I’ve been on the group all this time

Bodhi: and they’ll kill me

Kes: Wait a minute hold the fucking line

Kes: You have been on the girls group for a MONTH?


Bodhi: no! I just want to leave the stupid group before they find out!!

Han: Bodhi

Han: Bodhi

Han: Please tell me you realise what this means



Cassian: I can already see where this headed

Cassian: Please don’t finish that thought

Bodhi: oh my god

Bodhi: no way

Bodhi: no way in hell

Kes: Do you actually read the messages?

Bodhi: I try not to

Bodhi: but sometimes they just pop up in my notifications

Cassian: Who are the moderators of the group?

Bodhi: Leia and Hera

Cassian: If you’re afraid to tell Leia, I’m sure you can ask Hera to be removed

Bodhi: but they’ll all still SEE when I get removed

Cassian: I don’t think it can be helped at this point

Han: No wait

Han: What does Leia say about me on the group?

Bodhi: um LIKE HELL i'm going to tell you

Han: Come on

Bodhi: look I don’t know anyway! I don’t READ that stuff!

Han: Maybe they wanted you to be on the group

Han: Maybe it wasn’t an accident

Bodhi: I know what you’re trying to do and it’s not going to work

Han: Look, we’ve been looking everywhere for information and I even had to set Lando on the job while all this time you’ve had everything we could possibly need!

Kes: This is a bad idea

Ezra: a really bad idea

Luke: some would even call it a horrible idea

Han: Ughh

Han: You all suck

Cassian: It would be a massive invasion of privacy for Bodhi to read their messages and pass it on to us

Han: Yes I know, that’s why I’m not asking for anything specific

Han: What do you think I am??

Han: I just want to know the odds of Leia saying no if I ask her out

Han: That’s innocent information right?

Luke: except he’d have to go through a lot of not-innocent information to find that out

Han: Dammit Luke why do you have to stir up my morals like this?

Bodhi: well gee I TRIED to tell you subtly last night

Bodhi: okay fine

Bodhi: I still think del meeko is hot af and there’s a chance lando is right

Bodhi: but I don’t think they have ever talked about him on the group


Han: So Lando could be wrong

Han: They’d definitely talk about him if Lando was right

Han: Thank you, Bodhi

Han: That wasn’t so hard now was it?

Bodhi: that’s all I’m gonna tell you

Bodhi: I need to get out of there ASAP

Ezra: just out of curiosity

Ezra: what DOES Leia say about Han?


Cassian: I think enough has already been disclosed

Bodhi: Yes. Yes I think that too.

Han: Okay I owe you something for that so I’ll leave you alone

Han: But you really should’ve told us sooner, Bodhi

Ezra: not to be paranoid but can we make sure none of the girls are accidentally on THIS group??





Kes: No of course not jk

Han: Kes Dameron I SWEAR TO GOD

Luke: everybody calm down!!!

Ezra: omg lol

Ezra: I just thought of something stupid

Luke: I’m listening

Ezra: so you know how we have a spy in their group?

Ezra: and we can’t even use our spy bc it isn’t fair that only we have one?

Cassian: That is hardly the reason

Ezra: I was thinking

Ezra: to make things even

Ezra: we should let them infiltrate our group too

Han: Please tell me you’re joking

Ezra: no no then it’ll be fair and we can use Bodhi

Kes: Someone always manages to think of a worse idea than the last

Ezra: oh come on!

Kes: You have anyone in mind to “accidentally” add?

Ezra: what about Sabine?

Kanan: Sabine would rat you all out and you know it.

Ezra: OMG KANAN!!!

Kanan: Hi everyone. Thanks for adding me.

Kanan: But I’m more than a little confused

Cassian: That tends to happen here.

Ezra: I did say it was a stupid idea didn’t I?

Luke: Yep. Sorry even I can’t get on board with that.

Ezra: anyway I think han should ask her out

Kanan: Who?

Bodhi: Leia

Kanan: Oh, I see.

Bodhi: I feel like we’ll have to get you up to speed on a lot of things

Kanan: Do you want me to ask Hera?

Han: What?

Kanan: She would know how to get Leia’s attention.

Han: Wouldn’t she tell Leia?

Kanan: Not if you don’t want her to.

Han: !!!!

Han: You are my new favourite person?

Han: I owe you one

Kanan: No problem.

Bodhi: did you just...solve Han’s existential crisis

Ezra: yup

Bodhi: wtf

Bodhi: did he just...come from nowhere and solve the problem of the ages

Ezra: yup

Bodhi: wow

Ezra: it’s sort of his specialty


Private Chat: Kes, Kanan


Kanan: What’s up?

Kes: So I was wondering

Kes: Looking for a place to buy a wedding ring

Kes: You have any recommendations?

Kanan: I’ll send you a list.

Kes: You have a list??

Kanan: I got quotations from a handful of places before selecting one for Hera.

Kes: Man

Kes: You are my new favourite person

Kes: Don’t tell Cassian

Kanan: It’s no big deal. I had the list before.

Kes: I feel like I’m going to be coming to you for a lot of advice in the near future

Kanan: Wedding planning?

Kes: And probably everything after that

Kanan: Don’t worry too much about it. You normally figure things out as you go, when it comes to all this.

Kes: Wow

Kes: That is quality advice

Kanan: Not really.

Kes: Yes it is

Kanan: Okay.

Kes: Can I keep you forever?

Kanan: You can text whenever you want.

Kes: Close enough

Kes: Hit me up if you ever need a favour, I already owe you big time.

Kanan: You don’t, but thanks all the same.


Kay Tuesso was working his way towards a PhD in electronic engineering, and had even been told by his professors that he’d get there a year early. He had also earned his Masters in physics not long after leaving High School, and he was well-versed in six programming languages.

Kay Tuesso was not, however, good at a great many other things. He had zero athletic prowess and couldn’t swim to save his life. He was allergic to tree nuts and dogs. Most importantly, he had little to no understanding of social graces.

Which is why he didn’t notice his roommate and best friend’s odd behaviour until more than half the day was gone, twenty minutes after Cassian had started to pace the room, frequently glancing down at his phone and muttering to himself under his breath.

Kay looked up from where he was fiddling with a faulty circuit (plucked from their building’s fire-alarm monitor; he had notified the management that the monitor had a faulty circuit and they hadn’t taken it as urgently as they should have, so here he was, doing community service so that the building wouldn’t burn down with his prized possessions) at the dining table.


Cassian didn’t hear him, so he repeated himself, louder.

“Hm? Oh, forgot you were here.” His roommate stopped pacing to turn his way. He looked a tad bit disoriented. “What’s up?”

Kay decided he was going to cut to the chase, so to speak.

“You are pacing.”

His friend blinked, like Kay’s bluntness was a new thing. “I noticed.”

“There is a ninety percent chance you are worried. I would like to know why.”

“Kay, look, it’s nothing.” Cassian rubbed his eyes in with the base of his palms. “It’s just...stress from work.”

“That is unlikely,” retorted Kay, who was adept at reading his friend when he got past a certain point, but again, inexperienced in social graces such as allowing the lie of a person who didn’t want to talk slide. “When you are stressed from work you sit at your laptop the whole night. You don’t pace. Your laptop is nowhere in sight.”

Cassian sighed, walking up to the table and pulling out the chair beside him. He sat down in it carelessly.

“Jyn and I were supposed to check out this new space-themed restaurant today. We made plans last week.”

Kay picked up the circuit again, continuing work on it. He was not only mending it, but also adding a few upgrades of his own. This most certainly counted as community service. “Your plans got cancelled.”

“I don’t know,” Cassian admitted. “She hasn’t responded to my messages since yesterday. I think she’s mad at me.”

That’s not a first. “Do you have an idea as to why she might feel that way?”

His roommate craned his neck awkwardly as if there was a sore spot of muscle. “The day before yesterday, when I went with Kes to help him find a ring. She may have spotted me in the wrong store. A cosmetics store, to be specific.”

“I do not understand. Why would Jyn Erso be mad at you for visiting a cosmetics store?”

Cassian massaged his temples tiredly. “I don’t know. I think it’s...why would I be shopping at Sephora? I have no use for their products. Her guess was probably that I was there for another girl.”

Kay set his workpiece down carefully, and looked his roommate in the eye. “Were you not?”

Cassian blinked. “What? No, I wasn’t- why would you think that?

“Because, as you put it, you have no use for their products personally. It is a logical assumption that you were shopping for someone who does.”

“That’s- look, maybe it is logical , but it’s not what happened.”

“I see.” Kay’s piercing gaze never left his, running a continuous line of analytics while he studied him. “And why would Jyn Erso take offence if you were buying cosmetics for another girl?”

“I don’t know!”

His roommate regarded him silently, staring so long that Cassian had to look away uncomfortably, drumming his fingers on the table.

“She could be jealous,” Kay said finally. “If we continue under the presumption that she has non-platonic feelings towards you, this is the explanation that makes the most amount of sense. If it is true, we can also drop our previous conception that Jyn herself has a boyfriend.”

Cassian abruptly stopped drumming, turning his way fast. “Do you really think that?”

Kay shrugged. “Who can fathom the mind of Jyn Erso? I am only saying it is possible. Either way, I see no solution to your problem besides telling Jyn why you were really at the cosmetics store.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” He looked down at his phone miserably. “I could do that, except she’s not answering my calls. Or replying to my messages.”

“If you send her a message, she will read it eventually.”

Cassian sighed, but unlocked his phone all the same. The wallpaper was part of a mural from a local comic convention that he and Jyn had gone to last year. The two of them weren’t anywhere in the picture- he never made his wallpapers personal- but there was still a heavy sentimentality to it that now made his heart ache. The event had been nowhere near as big as NYCC, but that day he’d decided that he never wanted to visit another convention without Jyn. Especially not the biggest of the lot. And now it looked like that might not happen after all.

“Shit,” he swore as soon as he opened the messaging app. “Shit, she’s online.”

“Isn’t that ideal?” asked Kay quizzically.

“No, I don’t have time to think then!” he hissed.

“You don’t have to think of anything new. All you need to do is rely the true events of that day.”

“Shit.” Cassian stood up, already typing on his phone as he hurried in the direction of his room. “I’ll be right back. Just, uh. Keep some very strong coffee ready.”

He didn’t catch Kay’s incredulous and highly judgemental look before slamming the door behind him.



7.23 PM

Private Chat: Jyn, Cassian


Cassian: Hey

Cassian: You free to talk?

Jyn: no

Jyn: busy now. leave a message.

Cassian: Okay

Cassian: Cancel dinner?

Jyn: yes

Cassian: Okay.

Cassian: Are we good?

Jyn: ?

Cassian: Did I do anything to piss you off?

Cassian: I’m sorry.



Private Chat: Leia, Jyn


Jyn: [IMAGE]

Leia: Like HELL he doesn’t know what he did!

Jyn: should I tell him off?

Leia: You had dinner plans?

Jyn: from last week

Leia: Holy frick.

Jyn: as friends, leia

Leia: Like the ComicCon thing was supposed to be? Give me a break.

Leia: I can’t believe I thought he was a decent guy.

Leia: Tell him to sod off, Jyn.

Jyn: shouldn’t I say why first?

Leia: No. He knows already.

Leia: You’ll look less affected if you don’t say why.

Jyn: I’m not sure I understand that logic but ok

Leia: Don’t sounds overly pissed, though.

Leia: Go for “ticked off”.

Jyn: dude

Leia: Trust me on this one, Jyn.

Jyn: I’ll just sound sarcastic?

Leia: Sarcasm is good.

Jyn: Idk, do you think you pissed me off?

Cassian: Please tell me.

Jyn: goodnight

Cassian: Wait

Cassian: Hear me out

Cassian: Please

Cassian: If this is about that awkward thing at Sephora I’m sorry.

Jyn: sorry about what?

Jyn: needing a face mask?

Cassian: It was Kes.

Jyn: what?

Cassian: I was there with Kes. He wanted to get something for Shara.

Jyn: haha

Jyn: wow

Jyn: do you just lie as a habit?

Cassian: I’m not lying, Jyn.

Jyn: why would Kes hide if Shara knew he was there for her?

Cassian: It was a surprise.



Jyn: [IMAGE]

Jyn: I can’t do this

Leia: WTF

Leia: That’s even worse than the last excuse!

Leia: Tell him to FUCK OFF.

Leia: And that I’m going to beat the shit out of him.

Jyn: why’s he taking this approach, though?

Jyn: it’s a very classic and obvious angle to take

Jyn: “I was there for a friend but you didn’t see him”

Leia: Come on.

Leia: Does he always accompany Kes when he goes shopping for Shara?

Jyn: let’s just see what he says


Jyn: you just keep making this worse

Jyn: you know how far away her birthday is?

Jyn: should’ve stuck with the face mask story.

Cassian: I promise I’m not lying, Jyn.

Cassian: It’s what happened.

Cassian: You can ask Kes.

Cassian: Why else would I be there?

Jyn: getting real tired of your bs cassian

Jyn: me and your girlfriend both.

Cassian: I don’t have a girlfriend

Cassian: Really

Cassian: I wasn’t shopping for anyone

Cassian: It was just Kes

Cassian: I would never lie to you.

Cassian: Jyn, please.



Jyn: [IMAGE]

Jyn: he sounds sincere?

Leia: Oh my God.

Leia: You’re smarter than this

Leia: Stop thinking with your vagina

Jyn: did you just

Leia: Ovaries

Jyn: still doesn’t work

Leia: Pussy?

Jyn: stop

Leia: Yep that’s the right one.


Leia: You’re trying hard to give him a chance that he doesn’t deserve.

Jyn: the hell am I supposed to do?

Jyn: we’re best friends

Jyn: and what if he never even wanted me that way

Jyn: then it’s not two timing and he’s allowed to have a girlfriend

Leia: Thinking with the pussy again.

Leia: Also I’M your best friend.


Leia: Well, I’m going to keep using it until you stop doing it.

Leia: Just leave him on read.

Leia: Give him a few days.

Leia: If he’s innocent (which I’m sure he’s not), he’ll make an effort to rectify the situation.

Jyn: fine

Jyn: we’ll see

Leia: Good.

Leia: You okay?

Leia: You're taking this really well.

Jyn: I told you, I’m not going to lose my head over a guy

Leia: This is one of your best friends we’re talking about. It’s okay to be disappointed.

Jyn: I’m more disappointed I’m missing a good dinner

Jyn: wait

Jyn: what are you doing rn?

Leia: Just got home from work

Leia: Why?

Jyn: how do you feel about a last-minute date at a space themed restaurant?

Leia: Omg

Leia: YES


Jyn: I’m going to make my way over there right now

Leia: Meet you in 30?

Jyn: yup

Leia: You’d better dress nice, because I am.

Jyn: I’ll wear your birthday present


Leia: Love you.

Jyn: you too

Jyn: thanks a bunch

Leia: Anytime, sweetheart.