He held the sun between his fingers; they skimmed over the little crystals embedded at the tip of each sun streak. He lifted the pendant to his face; his pink lips lightly caressed the gracefully engraved pendant, a tear rolled down from his sea blue eye. He didn't understand. He thought they were happy.
He tugged his knees under his chin, his whole body shaking terribly as another memory of them flashed through his head.
“Apollo!” He called out, looking around the camp frantically to find the God of sun; he had yet fallen into another one of the mischievous god’s pranks which had left his once dark brown hair into blonde with bright red streaks at the tip.
He turned around sharply when he heard a small giggle from behind the tree, he ran over there silently and tip toed behind the god to throw his arm around his waist, “caught ya!” He whispered against the Olympian’s ear, pecking his ear lobe as he speaks. Apollo giggled childishly again, turned around and embrace the younger boy in his arms. “Only because I let you babe.” Apollo mumbled against Percy’s forehead, giving the boy an affectionate peck on the way.
“Stop it.” Percy moaned, “You know I can’t stay mad at you when you’re being so sweet.” Percy dug his head further into his lover’s shoulder. “Then don’t be.” The god whispered softly. Curiously, Percy lifted his head to look at Apollo.
He saw the twinkling deep blue eyes of the god staring back at him, full of love. He couldn’t help but leaned in just a bit, wanting to tease his way too cheeky lover. Apparently the god was having none of that as merely a second later, he ducked his head down, tightened his embrace on Percy and kissed the living light out of the demi god. After a minute or so, they stopped.
Percy looked up to the man, no wait god, whom had caught his heart before it shatters. “I love you.” He said, “I know.” He replied.
He didn't even remember who said which; it didn't matter to him as he would have said either anyway. Everything that day was perfect. It still is. As they say, people change but memories don’t.
He sobbed through the silent tears, choking in his grief. He swallowed, keen on not letting a single sound come out of his mouth. Why? He asked himself. ‘Because you’re weak, that’s why he abandoned you.’ The voice that he hated so much said; he just can't seem to get rid of it, no matter how hard he tried, that hatred tone of his own voice just seems to always be there. “But I...I love him.” He choked brokenly. ‘It didn't matter, he doesn't love you. Probably never did.’ That voice retorted again. There’s a painful hole in his chest, he clutched at his shirt but no matter what it didn’t seem to help.
More tears gushed out as yet another memory flashed through his mind.
“POLLO!” He shouted excitedly as he ran into his cabin, there in his living room stood a gorgeous golden figure, the light however wasn't as bright as it usually was, maybe he’s just seeing things. The figure turned around, it didn’t smile.
“What’s wrong?” Percy asked worryingly, “We need to talk.” He replied. “Oh ok. Come sit.” He patted at his water bed, the figure refused. “No! I need to go and resume my duty soon; I can’t just abandon them every time because of you!” Apollo shouted. Percy looked back worryingly, ‘What did I do wrong?’ He thought.
“I'm sorry, Po, whatever I've done. Please just talk, talk to me.” He tried. “I can't do this anymore Perce. I just can't.” He whispered. Percy stared back in horror, “What… what did I do?” He felt holes starting to form where his lover used to stand. He grabbed the god’s hand in attempt to get him to sit down and have a civil conversation with him, where he will find out what he’s done wrong and he would fix it, because he would do absolutely anything for him, he CAN'T lose him. He couldn't afford to!
“No STOP!” Apollo shouted, flinging his hand out of Percy’s hold. “Just… I just can’t.” And with those four words, he walked out. He walked out of Poseidon’s cabin, he walked out on their perfect life, and he walked out on Percy when the hero most needed him. He left.
“No… no… S…stops…STOP IT! Please…” He shouted and he begged, he sobbed and sobbed. ‘Why does it hurt so much? Why?’ He thought angrily to himself, ‘It’s all your fault! If you were perfect maybe he’d still love you. Maybe he wouldn't have left you all by yourself.’ He cried.
At last, he collapsed onto the floor, sobbing like a mess, not even caring if the whole camp heard him, he really didn't care. ‘You said we’d be forever.’ He thought broken-heartedly.
“Percy…” The words fell out his mouth like a mournful song, no more haikus, no more jokes, and no more mischief if this is what it takes to embrace the boy in his arm once more.
He looked down from Olympus, his heart clenching at the sight of his love grieving. He didn't want to hurt him but a short pain is better than a long one that he was going to cause Percy; he was no good to Percy, the son of Poseidon deserves so much better and everyone knows it! He loves him, he does.
His train of thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door, he turned around ready to shout at whoever was interrupting him, but stopped when he saw was his twin. “Oh Artemis, how can I be of service to you today?” He grumbled sourly. His twin smiled bitterly at her twin, he had been in such a foul mood ever since he had broken off whatever relationship he was holding with that Percy boy. “Oh nothing, you know, just here to see my favourite sibling.” She grinned devilishly. Apollo groaned under his throat, “Can you please just go away Artemis.” Artemis tut at her brother, “Don’t be rude little brother, I was just dropping by to tell you of what my hunters told me about a certain demi god, but if you don’t want to hear it, I’ll just go.” She replied dauntingly. His heart quickened at the mention of the demigod, memories of their good time resurfaced making him questioning himself once again on why he did that to Percy in the first place. “What?” He shot back. Artemis sighed again, she had only wanted to cheer her twin up with some news of the somewhat hero. “He’s been thinking about you, you know? He hadn't been eating, drinking or sleeping; all he does is sit on his bed. He doesn't even move you know?” Apollo turned away from his sister, his face twisted in agony and worrisome. Artemis looked worried, she didn't even know how deep their relationship was, and only that Apollo broke it off with the boy for some unknown reason. Artemis walked over to Apollo, her hand on his broad shoulder, “You should go see him. Give him an explanation or anything.” He merely nodded his head then teleported to wherever he seems fit to be his thinking place.
Percy groaned when he heard shuffling across his floorboards, he tried to sit up but stopped because his back hurts too much, great! He must have fallen asleep on the floor, again. He opened his eyes to see a pair of golden sandals in front of him, ‘who even wear those anymore?’ He thought to himself. “Well that’s not very nice!” a voice rung out in his cabin. Normally, Percy would have stood right up with riptide in hand ready to defend already, but after Apollo, all he does is sit, cry, mourn, fall asleep crying, wake up, cry some more, sit there, moping. He looked up at the intruder emotionlessly, gasped when he saw was someone who was no stranger just days ago.
“Apollo...” The three syllables choked out of his dry lips, he backed away against the wall rapidly, away from the man, no wait god, who had caused him so many pain; he backed away although all he wanted to do was to step forward and kiss the light out of the god, to forget all the painful mourning and focus on the happy memories.
The god’s heart tightened painfully, he didn't expect this reaction, he thought he could get Percy in his arm and all will be well like before. “Percy” he choked out brokenly, he never wanted to hurt him, he thought it was for the best! “Please just hear me out… please…” he repeated like a broken record. The sea god’s son shook his head, “no… no! You! Who did you think you are! You can’t just waltz in one day declaring to the ENTIRE camp that you’re in love with me and then the next break up with me, and now? Now you’re waltzing back into my life expecting me to welcome you with open arms?! What’s WRONG with YOU?” He shook angrily. All the grieve he had for the past few days was suddenly turned into anger as he saw Apollo, he would have thought that all he wanted to do was forget everything and be in love again but as soon as he saw the Olympian, let’s just say that bottling up your feelings is a definite no no.
Apollo stood still, speechless. He had never expected the demi god to have a temper, oh sweet Zeus! He had broken the sweet and innocent boy. “Percy…” He whispered. He walked forward but stopped a few steps away from the boy to see if he is going to make a run for it, when he saw that he wasn’t, he walked closer. Closer. Again. Until their chests were pressed together, he can feel Percy’s heartbeat this way, fast and messy, signs of frustration and anxiety. He raised his muscular arms gingerly, hoping not to scare the boy away before deciding to just go for it and brought his lover in a tight embrace.
Percy’s arms stayed at his side, unmoving.
Apollo tried hard not to let that affect him but instead he tightened his arms even more. He rested his head on top of the dark haired, taking in his woody smell, before letting out a sigh. “Please, just… just hear me out.” He waited a minute before hearing his lover sighed and nodded slightly. Apollo decided to stay like this, he didn’t know what he has to say to get Percy to forgive him, normally he can just crack a haiku and make people laugh out of a situation but this is different. Percy is different. What they have is different! “I watched you.” The three words that came out of his mouth were surprisingly creepier than he thought it’d be. “I just wanted to know how you were, I know you don’t believe me but I didn’t mean to make you so sad; it was meant to be a quick pain rather than the longer pain I would’ve caused you if we keep on being together and I just didn’t think it through and oh! I regret it so much Perce! So much, I’m sorry.”
“W...wait! Hold on a minute. What I think I’m hearing is that you’ve decided to break my heart because you thought you’re doing the right thing? What a complete idiot!” Percy interrupted. Percy looked up at the sun god, it was a little too close since the god is still holding him in his arms and it doesn’t look like that the almighty god is going to let him go anytime soon, and he jabbed a finger in the god’s toned chest, “You… you complete dick! How could you do this to me! Oh so you’ve decided that you’re not good enough for me so without even talking to me about this, what insecurity? Of yours and decided to act on it? What WERE you THINKING!? You mmcogrpletm” His voice was muffled by a pair of warm and chapped lips on his dry ones. His anger was dissolved into bubbles as the pair of warm lips continued to kiss his, it was magic. Eventually they stopped, Percy looked up again, “you can’t just kiss me and expect me to forget it, it doesn't work like that Pollo.” Apollo looked down into the sea blue eyes, “A god can hope.” He smiled bitterly. He was surprised when he felt a hand bringing his head down, “Never said I didn't like it.” Percy whispered against his lips before engulfing the sun god into a passionate kiss once again. The kiss was soft, like always, but there’s also a hint of desperation, as if both men were clinging onto each other, afraid that this was all a dream and they’d wake up feeling heartbroken again.
“It doesn't mean that I forgive you.” Percy said as he broke away from the kiss. Apollo dug his head into Percy’s neck, kissing softly at the tender skin there and surrounding himself in the smell of sea. “I know, I have to work for it yeah?” He whispered softly before pressing another kiss on the soft skin.
Both men stood there, in each other’s embraces, they've got a lot to work out but as long as they have each other, they’ll be okay.