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if i can't have you

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“You gremlin!”

 

“Oh, shuddup titty monster!”

 

“You make a nice couple.”

 

Both Nozomi and Nico froze at the statement that interrupted their string of mutual playful insults.

 

Nico was the first to shake herself into reality again. She laughed, loud, and soon Nozomi joined, in a more discreet way.

 

The cashier looked at them with eyes as wide as saucers, even stopping her movements to fully immerse herself in her disbelief.

 

Nico spoke as she dried a tear at the corner of her eye. “How many times does that make, Nozomi? I lost count on the way.”

 

Nozomi was kind enough to explain their reaction. “We're just friends, and we get mistaken for a couple a lot, at least we've been for the last twelve years.”

 

The cashier blushed, probably embarrassed by her faux pas, and stuttered out an apology. “I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make assumpt-”

 

“It's okay, it doesn't really matter” Nico smiled. It was weird how much the girl – who could be between seventeen and twenty – reminded her of a certain redhead. Not really though, you needed tongs to extort an apology from Maki.

 

The girl nodded and quickly lowered her gaze and went on with the neglected task. Nozomi looked at Nico with a raised eyebrow and a smile in her teal eyes that reflected the one on her lips. Playful, mischievous Nozomi, who hadn’t really changed from her high school days.

 

Nico responded with a silent shrug and half a smirk, surprised by the sense of deja-vu the scene carried but not really.

 

They said goodbye and the girl still looked flustered, but she waved at them whilst wishing them a good day.

 

A comfortable silence enveloped them, in a way protecting them from the bustling crowd as they walked side to side to their apartment.

 

It still rang wrong. Their apartment. No, not wrong, but weird. It had been twelve years and it sounded weird.

 

Nico felt her arm getting tired and passed the grocery bag on her left. A shiver run down her spine when her fingers brushed on Nozomi's slender hands.

 

A couple, uh?

 

She glanced at Nozomi's figure, standing tall and proud by her side. She was taller than she was before and her body, although already mature when she was eighteen, was now the one of a woman.

 

It reminded Nico they both were thirty. She'll admit she felt a bit old, but not that much, because Nozomi was still as playful and mischievous as she had been. Life never got boring with her.

 

Nico's dreams of fame had died long ago and she’d settled. Maybe not the way she'd fantasised about as a child, maybe not with a handsome husband and a swarm of kids, but with her closest friend. Odd arrangement.

 

It's peculiar how she always felt pulled towards Nozomi. First due to her kindness, then for her smile, then for her ability to say everything and anything in the same sentence and still leave her clueless.

 

Her voice was high-pitched, but it was nice when it lulled Nico to sleep during their night long conversations, it was nice when she sung in the shower, always hitting the right key.

 

It was nice when she hugged Nico upon coming home, it was nice when they snuggled on the couch and watched a movie without really saying anything.

 

It was just nice being together, Nozomi's touch always managed to reassure Nico.

 

She wondered, for a second, what would've been like, pushing their relationship over the boundaries of friendship. Kissing when seeing each other in the morning, exchanging caresses without much thought, doing... other things.

 

They had both had lovers, scattered here and there during their lives, but nobody managed to stay, it was short every time.

 

They always came back to each other, one way or another.

 

What would've been like to brush her lips on Nozomi's collarbone, on her breasts, to slide her fingers over her sides and hips and stomach, to breathe her scent as their bodies pressed together, to hear her voice call out her name?

 

It wasn't the first time Nico wondered about that and it probably wouldn't be the last.

 

She shook her head. It was naïve of her to think anything could happen between them. They both tended to prefer women, - Nico had tried with a boy once, when she was twenty, and she'd left it at that, Nozomi had more experience in that field, but never spoke fondly of any of her male lovers – so that wasn't the problem.

 

The problem was how much they knew about each other.

 

And that frustrated Nico, but simultaneously gave her a sense of comfort.

 

Even if something, anything really did happen, Nozomi would most likely only see Nico as her friend of many years, she would probably agree to it out of pity.

 

Her figure was still so, so alluring. Nico wondered how anyone could've refused her.

 

Thoughts she shouldn't be having started flooding her mind. She wanted to hear her moans, she wanted to hear her own name uttered between heavy breaths, whispered in the moment just before she climaxed. Nico wanted to feel Nozomi's hands sneak under her clothes, brush on the most sensitive parts of her, leave red marks on her back.

 

She wanted Nozomi.

 

But how could she ever say it? It would sound strange at this point, after so many years of being under the same roof and sharing so much of their lives.

 

It wouldn't be natural. Well, it would be for Nico, but not for Nozomi, right?

 

~ ••• ~

 

Nozomi had never been the type to make rush decisions.

 

She had taken one risk, though, when she’d chosen to settle down with Nico, years prior when they still had too many hopes for their future.

 

She had been happy, she was happy. But there was something missing.

 

She couldn't lie to herself anymore, she knew exactly what was missing and she'd known it from the start.

 

She had willingly chosen to live together with the love of her life without ever expecting to be reciprocated.

 

Nice going Nozomi.

 

She smiled to herself. How pitiful she was.

 

But it was okay, more or less. It was nice when she came home to find Nico cooking dinner, it was nice when they just sat in the same room, each doing their own thing.

 

It was just nice being together, Nico's presence had filled the void that had been in her for years.

 

She couldn't push their relationship farther, she was too afraid of messing up. Even if now she was almost feeling desperate, hopelessly in love with the only person she couldn't have.

 

She wanted Nico.

 

She wanted to hold her close, to brush her fingertips on her back, to trace her silhouette with her lips.

 

She wanted to hear her breath catch and know it was herself causing it, she wanted to tangle their limbs together under messy sheets, she wanted to feel Nico's small hands buried in her hair, holding her in place and pulling her closer.

 

Shivers run down her back, but guilt filled her chest at the thought of how many times she had wondered about that.

 

When she had been with someone else, sex had always felt wrong, intimacy in general, even kisses. She couldn't help imagine someone else in their place, but it was unfair, both to the unaware Nico and to the clueless person making the effort of being with her.

 

She shook her head, chasing away unhealthy thoughts and fished her keys from her right pocket to toss them to a waiting Nico in front of the door.

 

Routine. Take keys, toss, step inside. Nico could likely catch her toss with her eyes closed, after twelve years a lot of things became habits.

 

A sigh escaped her lips when she put the groceries on the kitchen table. She closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her neck.

 

Nico stepped slightly forward, just enough to place her hands on Nozomi's.

 

“Hey, still feeling sore? Can I do anything to help?”

 

Nozomi breathed a laugh, even though Nico's fingers had taken away the air from her lungs.

 

“No, it's fine. It's probably just me getting old.”

 

“You're not old, you just spent all of yesterday correcting tests” Nico replied with a smirk. She was still kneading Nozomi's muscles and she couldn't say she disliked it.

 

She smelled of soap and sugar, and it reminded her of when they were still young and ready to face whatever the future wanted to throw at them, all nine of them, or just the two of them, hand in hand.

 

“You shouldn't stay that long hunched over your desk and you know it. You want to take something?”

 

Nozomi hugged Nico, lightly, pulling her close. Nico took a mere second to drape her other arm around Nozomi's neck and press into her.

 

“No, you know I feel like a drugged rabbit when I take painkillers. I'll just go to bed earlier.”

 

Nico laughed on her shoulder. “ I'm the short one with the red eyes.”

 

“Well, you're my rabbit!” Nozomi replied, breaking the hug and mimicking a rabbit's ears with her hands on her head.

 

Nico smiled, her eyes crinkling in a happy, happy expression. She didn't deny.

 

“What do you want for dinner tonight?” she asked, turning around and grabbing her apron from its spot on the wall.

 

Nozomi smiled, taking the ingredients out of the bags.“What do you think?”

 

“Yeah, no, I'm not doing that, we'll go with udon, okay? Yakiniku is for another time.”

 

“Meanie” and she stuck her tongue out at Nico's back.

 

Nico laughed and it was music to Nozomi's ears. “You know you love me!”

 

Yes I do. I really do, but I can't tell you.



“God there is literally nothing on tv!” Nico huffed, throwing her head back on the couch.

 

She turned to a giggling Nozomi, catching her gaze. She was then overcame by the sudden urge of kissing that smile and nausea came with it.

 

She quickly shook her head and moved her attention to the screen again.

 

“S-So what now?”

 

Nozomi paused, chewing on her cheek for a bit, thinking. “I don't know, maybe we could watch a dvd?”

 

“We've already seen all the movies we own at least twice” Nico sighed, instinctively leaning towards Nozomi, who was sitting not far from her.

 

“Silly videos on YouTube?”

 

Nico's only response was a grunt.

 

Nozomi ran her hands through Nico's hair. “Maybe something to drink? There's still that half bottle of wine.”

 

Nico opened her eyes to find her face extremely close to Nozomi's – too close.

 

“That sounds like a plan.”

 

Nozomi smiled and got up, followed by the soft steps of her clothed feet.

 

Nico exhaled a resigned sigh. It was already hard to control herself as it was, adding alcohol to the equation surely couldn't do any good.

 

The clinking of glass on the coffee table announced Nozomi's return. “Here.”

 

Nico took the stem from her hands and took a tentative sip as Nozomi sat down next to her, closer, and the tv still chattered in the background, ignored.

 

The wine was surprisingly sweet sliding down her throat. “What is this?” she asked looking at the golden liquid and the tiny bubbles climbing up.

 

“Some italian wine from a colleague, a relic of last Christmas if I remember correctly,” Nozomi chuckled around the rim of her glass.

 

“Mh, it’s very good.”

 

Nico didn’t dare look at Nozomi, her eyes still fixed on the seemingly mute tv.

 

Out of pure boredom - and not being able to decide what to do with herself - Nico started zapping again. Stupid rom-com, thriller, “The Exorcist”, “Say Yes To The Dress”. In the meantime, she poured herself another glass.

 

“Hey, it's not everyday you see two girls in a movie.”

 

Nozomi’s voice pulled Nico from her trance and got her to watch the TV for at least thirty seconds.

 

A short haired girl was trying to convince a tall blonde to go with her up in her hotel room.

 

Oh.

 

Nico didn't think about looking at the info for the film, she just put down the remote and downed the rest of her second glass, reaching again for the bottle Nozomi had kindly placed on the coffee table.

 

The rational part of her was screaming that drinking wasn't a good idea at all, but it wasn't the moment to listen to it.

 

She glanced at Nozomi. She had the expression she always wore when she was deciding if she liked something or not: a slightly raised eyebrow, a corner of her mouth up and parted lips.

 

Nico wanted to kiss those lips.

 

And when Nozomi sank into the cushions to find a more comfortable position and took a sip from her glass, Nico's heart skipped a beat.

 

She wanted to bite at Nozomi’s throat.

 

To distract herself she ungracefully chugged down the contents of her glass, but the slight burn made her cough.

 

“Nico-cchi are you okay?”

 

She raised her eyes and found herself face to face with Nozomi’s beautiful teal eyes.

 

Lust, love, she didn't know anymore.

 

She swallowed past the lump in her throat and muttered a feeble response.

 

“Y-Yeah…”

 

Nozomi placed a hand on her thigh and her heart rate skyrocketed.

 

Nico knew she was almost drunk, Nico knew she was asking for trouble, but she couldn't help it.

 

Blood roaring in her ears, Nico pushed Nozomi on the couch and kissed her, tasting wine and a tinge of strawberry.

 

It lasted an eternity, and Nico was flooded by a sense of tranquility like never before.



Nozomi had been caught by surprise.

 

When she finally opened her eyes Nico was on top of her, hands on either side of her head, breathing hard, lips mere inches from her own.

 

Nozomi was very conflicted right at that moment.

 

The kiss had been the best thing in her life up until that moment, but she had no idea why it had happened.

 

It scared her.

 

She searched for Nico's eyes and she stared back for a beat before realisation seemed to dawn on her.

 

She blinked rapidly, backing away slowly, then she shut her eyes tight and pursed her lips.

 

She seemed on the verge of tears.

 

Nozomi lifted herself up on her elbows and reached for Nico's hand, balled in a fist at her side.

 

“Nico-cchi…”

 

She retracted, shaking her head and gritting her teeth.

 

Nozomi wanted to hug Nico, ask her questions, but she couldn't move: Nico was sitting on her thighs, blocking her legs.

 

“Nico-cchi-”

 

“Fuck, this is never going to work, is it?” she whispered with a mirthless laugh, interrupting Nozomi’s attempt at getting something from her.

 

She did get something, just not what she'd expected.

 

Nozomi scrambled for words. “I- Nico-cchi, what… what isn't going to work?”

 

Nico had lowered her head, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

 

“Us.”

 

Her voice was drenched in resignation, broken and feeble.

 

Nozomi felt a lump forming in her throat and the familiar sting behind her eyes.

 

Why had everything come to this? Why didn't she have the courage to say that she loved her and put an end to this big misunderstanding?

 

It's because you don't deserve her.

 

She let herself fall back and brought both her hands up to her face. Ironically, she didn't want Nico to see her cry.

 

Her attempt was futile though, as a sob erupted from her throat, shaking her chest.

 

“...Why?” she wailed. “Why, Nico-cchi?”

 

Nico felt Nozomi’s sob and wondered why she was crying too.

 

Because she doesn't want you. Congratulations, you ruined everything.

 

She blinked and tried to focus on forming a coherent sentence. The alcohol in her veins was doing a very good job at fogging up her mind.

 

“Because I'm drunk” she replied. Her tongue felt heavy and her throat hurt like hell. Everything around her was slow, slow, slow. “And I love you.”

 

Slow.

 

“But you don't love me back.”

 

Nozomi almost didn't hear Nico's words, occupied as she was with trying to breathe between sobs that felt like earthquakes.

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no. That’s- That's not true!” she almost shouted. It was always like this, once she started crying it was hard to stop.

 

“I do love you! I love you, but-” Another sob. “Why do you love me?” she finished in a broken whisper.

 

Nico had a sudden moment of clarity then. Nozomi loves you. You love each other.

 

She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind.

 

“Because you're you.”

 

God if it sounded stupid.

 

She followed instinct, the part of her that was led by recklessness and one too many drinks. Slowly, she took Nozomi's hands and intertwined their fingers, uncovering teal eyes and flushed cheeks.

 

“I love you because you're beautiful, you're funny, you're caring, you're sexy a-and you make me happy and you're my person” she rambled. “I've been in love with you since forever.”

 

Nozomi was speechless.

 

Nico's feelings towards her matched her own so closely.

 

“But I-I’m not-” Enough.

 

“You are. Nozomi you'll always be enough for me.”

 

That sentence was Nozomi's breaking point. Her throat closed and new tears found their way on her skin.

 

Nico silently lowered herself on Nozomi, placing her head in the crook of her neck and circling her arms around her ribcage. Not the most comfortable, but Nozomi didn't seem to mind when she returned the embrace.

 

She waited minutes that ticked on like hours, waited for Nozomi's breath to become regular again.

 

“Do you love me?”

 

Nico had to make sure she'd heard right. In the state she was in, anything could be an illusion. She really didn't trust her ears.

 

Nozomi had finally stopped crying, comforted by Nico's weight on her, by her sweet scent, by her beating heart on her stomach.

 

She run a hand through Nico's dark locks. She'd let it grow lately, so much that it reached her waist. She was gorgeous.

 

“More than life itself.”

 

Nico raised her head a bit to search teal eyes for any sign of insincerity. She found none.

 

“You're gorgeous.”

 

Nozomi then did what she hadn't had the courage to do for years.

 

The kiss was slow, chaste even, lips pursued and pressed against one another. It tasted like wine and wasted time.

 

One of Nozomi's hands slipped on Nico's back, tracing the length of her spine with feathered fingers, pressing down when she reached her nape.

 

Nico would've lied if she said she wasn't turned on, but it was most likely the wine's fault. That thought didn't prevent her from moaning into the kiss.

 

Nozomi wasted no time and seized the chance to slip her tongue past Nico's lips, cautiously asking for permission but receiving no resistance in return.

 

Nico drowned in the contact, her hands gripping Nozomi's sweater and hips grinding instinctively on Nozomi's thighs.

 

Nozomi let go of Nico's lips only when she felt her lungs burn.

 

“I've wanted to do this since forever,” she said between heavy breaths, touching her forehead to Nico's and closing her eyes.

 

Nozomi felt lean fingers make their way on her cheek, Nico's breath ghosting on her skin. “Me too.”

 

And with that Nico slid her lips down, on her jaw, on her neck, tugged at the fabric of Nozomi's top and bit on her collarbone.

 

That action alone ripped a groan from Nozomi’s throat, but Nico wasted no time and slipped a hand under her sweater, coming in contact with feverish skin.

 

Oh, that was a sight to be seen, yes. Nozomi with her eyes closed, mouth ajar to breathe in a gasp, back slightly arched in response to her touch.

 

This was what she wanted, what's she'd fantasised about.

 

She breathed in Nozomi's presence, the wine, her strawberry lip tint, and she felt herself grow wetter.

 

When Nozomi met Nico's irises there was a fire there, burning bright, not just red anymore but something else entirely.

 

Oxblood.

 

She found herself thinking of colours and hues. Nico looked like peach and pink, but tasted like gold and crimson and felt like pitch black and amaranth.

 

Soft skin and long lashes, but tender lips and sharp teeth, slender fingers and short nails.

 

Nozomi wanted to devour every detail.

 

She caught Nico's lips again, this time hungrier, messier. Their tongues met halfway and Nozomi discovered a soft spot behind her teeth that left Nico whimpering.

 

Her hands slowly slid down Nico's ribcage, brushing on her clothed sides, into the waistband of her pants and on her backside.

 

A firm squeeze and her body jerked forward in a clear display of arousal, Nozomi's hands on her hips only helping her create more friction.

 

Nico’s hand that was under her sweater crept up agonizingly slow, tracing Nozomi's ribs and up to her chest.

 

“The sweater needs to go,” she heaved as soon as she broke the kiss. “Now.”

 

Nozomi frantically nodded and lifted her torso to wiggle out of the unnecessary layer. Nico didn't give her time to breathe and stole her lips again, pushing her down, sweater forgotten on the floor.

 

She mentally thanked front opening bras as she nosed at Nozomi's collarbone. Two fingers and her full breasts spilled out from purple lace.

 

It was almost hypnotising how Nozomi's chest raised and fell, deep, quick. Up. And down.

 

Her nipples were hard and heat climbed up Nico’s spine at the sight.

 

Nozomi took the chance to tug at her sweatshirt and Nico was more than happy to oblige to the silent request.

 

A smile curved Nozomi's lips when she saw the burgundy underwear. “You're so sexy…”

 

She took her sweet time taking it off, despite her own growing need.

 

She saw Nico's abs contract when she pressed her fingers on her shoulders, tracing nonsensical patterns on scorching skin. She let her fingertips wander, brushing on her breasts and massaging them through the fabric. The straps were soon out of the way, though, and Nico was quick to reach behind herself to unclasp the thing and toss it somewhere both of them were too occupied to care.

 

Nico felt goosebumps raise on her skin - and something decidedly less subtle between her legs - when Nozomi gently cupped one breast, catching the other nipple in her mouth.

 

Sparks ignited her core as soft fingers toyed with her body and lips and tongue worked in tandem to make her go mad.

 

“Ah… Nozomi…”

 

She initially tried to muffle her own cries with a hand on her mouth, but she guessed it was of better use buried in dark locks, keeping Nozomi close.

 

Nico's fingers tugging at her scalp, harder every time her tongue moved, tore shameful moans from Nozomi, but she couldn't care less. The noises Nico was making were addicting.

 

She could clearly feel the ache between her own legs, and Nico looked desperate to say the least. She'd never been a selfish lover, needy, perhaps, but not selfish. She wished for Nico to feel good, even if it meant enduring her own agony for a little bit longer.

 

Nico’s eyes were hooded when Nozomi looked at her, her lips swollen, a sheer veil of sweat on her forehead and rising redness on her cheeks.

 

Nozomi tugged down the waistline of her pants and underwear and Nico collaborated like never before. She felt the need to get out of those annoying clothes.

 

Damp lace discarded, she felt Nozomi wiggle beneath her and almost came when the girl grabbed the back of her thighs and pulled her towards her face.

 

Nozomi's breath caught in her throat at the sight of Nico, completely bare and more than ready for her. She had caused her to be in this state.

 

She swallowed, hyper aware of the tug in her lower stomach, and pressed her tongue against Nico without further thought.

 

Nico was afraid she would break.

 

Pleasure flooded her, hit like a tidal wave and then receded just to come back again. Every stroke was a step closer to the edge.

 

Nozomi dragged her touch for longer than necessary, exploring every crease of sensitive folds, in and out, going up, up, up and sucking.

 

Nico was losing her sense of self engulfed in Nozomi's everything. Her hips seemed to have a life of their own, jerking and bucking despite Nozomi's strong grip on her thighs.

 

Nozomi, on the other hand, took utmost care of the budding flower between her lips, only waiting to feel it in full bloom.

 

“Oh my… fuck, fuck Nozomi- Ah!”

 

Nico's scent, her taste and her cries intoxicated Nozomi, she wanted more, she wanted everything.

 

Tentatively, she reached between her own legs only to find herself drenched .

 

She gasped and clawed at Nico's thigh when her fingertips ghosted on her clit, but, as much as she wanted to, she refrained. Her own touch was barely enough to momentarily quench her desire. She wanted everything.

 

Nico's cries had become a litany of her name and that didn't help her situation at all, though it meant she was close.

 

She stopped her teasing and focused on letting Nico climax. She sucked on the most sensitive part of her and the smallest nibble revealed itself enough to have Nico come undone in seconds.

 

Nico felt it coming from afar, the umpteenth crashing wave, and this time she'd succumb.

 

Warmth spread through her and pleasure replaced the blood in her veins. She fell forward, steeling herself on the armrest for as much as her trembling muscles allowed.

 

Nozomi was still lapping at her, slowly coming to a stop once Nico had managed to come off her high.

 

As Nico moved to let her breathe properly, Nozomi left kisses on her shaking thighs, massaging them with her clean hand. Nico would never admit that was enough to reignite her lust.

 

Nozomi breathed a satisfied sigh and licked her lips, almost forgetting what kind of fluid was covering them.

 

“That was… amazing.”

 

Nico's heart skipped a beat at that, the now familiar pulse of arousal rising again from her lower stomach.

 

She claimed Nozomi's mouth without a second thought and bit her lower lip for good measure, her own taste mixing with iron.

 

Her hands roamed on bare skin and soft curves as she sucked on Nozomi's pulse, intent on leaving a mark.

 

“You turn me on so much,” she whispered nibbling at the shell of Nozomi's ear. “You're beautiful and I love you.”

 

“M-me too- Ah, Nico-cchi” Nozomi cried out, prompted by Nico's fingers toying with her nipples. “I-I love you too.”

 

Nico raked her teeth across Nozomi’s collarbone, basking in the whines it elicited. “I’m sure I love you more” she murmured on her skin.

 

She gripped her waist and peppered her soft abdomen with kisses, feeling like that was her entire life’s purpose. The body of a goddess was under her palms and her permission to do anything she wanted had been granted till then. Nico raised her eyes to look at Nozomi. Her chin was still stained, her lips parted in a gasp that threatened to morph into a moan, her eyes reduced to slits with tears lining their edges.

 

“Nico, please…” Nozomi groaned. “Touch me.”

 

Nozomi was desperate for release and would've done anything to get Nico to shove her fingers inside her. Begging was a small price to pay.

 

Nico smiled and slid Nozomi's shorts and underwear down her legs before moving up to be able to kiss her again. Her taste was a drug and her whole body was an addiction Nico wasn't sure she wanted to recover from.

 

Nozomi whimpered when Nico pressed herself on her, but was silenced by soft lips once again as Nico tip-tapped her fingers on the length of Nozomi's plump tight, indulging in the shivers it caused, her legs already shaking.

 

When her fingertips reached slick wetness, Nozomi’s hips lifted off the couch by sheer force of arousal.

 

“Someone's eager…” Nico sing-sang tauntingly.

 

Had she been a tad more sober than she was, she wouldn't have been that outspoken about teasing Nozomi. It was their first time together, after all, and Nico had never really been much of top. Alcohol could do numbers on her ego apparently.

 

She was confident she could still move her hands well enough to do wonders though.

 

“S-Shut up and- oh fuck Nico, p-please fuck m-"

 

The only almost coherent sentence Nozomi had managed to utter was swallowed by a loud moan as one of Nico’s fingers easily slipped inside her, parting her folds with unsurprising ease.

 

“Nico, plea-please…”

 

Nico placed a loving kiss on her lips. “I know Princess, I'll make you feel really good, I promise” she whispered in her ear.

 

That said, she effortlessly added a second finger and calmly began thrusting them in and out.

Nozomi's hand frantically searched for something to hold on to because she suddenly felt like she was falling.

 

Nico felt a sting on her back and, realising it was due to Nozomi's grip on her shoulders, she mentally thanked her partner for being thoughtful enough to use her mouth rather than her hands. She chuckled to herself and upped her pace, almost as a way of rewarding her partner. Nozomi's moans grew louder and needier, her face buried deep into her neck.

 

Nico was drowning in her scent, the one she'd grown so accustomed to over the years, the one she'd fell asleep against on so many occasions.

 

Oh, this was so very different. It was intoxicating and exciting and it got under her skin and made her blood boil and her heart tremble.

 

For every pull there was a reaction, for each push a moan.

 

Nozomi wanted to scream, but her voice failed her, she wanted to trash around, but Nico’s weight kept her still.

 

Nozomi wanted to cry, because she was happy, yes, but also because Nico’s touch was excruciatingly pleasurable and it made her feel like she could lose herself any second. She was standing on a steep, steep cliff and the smallest push could make her fall.

 

Nico knew Nozomi was close by the way her walls clenched down on her fingers, so she kept fingering her steadily, but sneaked her thumb up on her clit, giving way to sounds she didn't know Nozomi could produce.

 

Paired with her tongue circling around her nipples, it didn't take much for Nozomi to come undone.

 

It happened in an instant and everything became white and hot. Her muscles stilled and her breath hitched, her voice cut off.

 

Nico slowed down to a stop without hurry, enjoying the view of Nozomi completely helpless and spent, and she moved back to sit on her thighs.

 

When the pink haze of arousal dissipated from Nozomi’s mind and her breathing got back to normal, she opened her eyes and looked straight at Nico.

 

“I can't believe you called me ‘Princess’.”

 

Nico’s head snapped up and red instantly coloured her cheeks down to her collarbones.

 

That is the first thing you say after we just had sex for the first time?” she wondered incredulously, eyes wide.

 

Nozomi smirked and Nico absolutely didn't like the spark of mischief that popped up in there. “Aww, is the great idol Nico-Nii embarrassed?”

 

Nico was surprised she was still conscious, seeing how all the blood in her body seemed to move to her face. “Oh my God, just shut up , you can't say that!”

 

Nozomi laughed as she received a mild slap on her shoulder. She was so happy.

 

It felt like a lamp had finally been lighted after years of darkness. She could feel actual joy cursing through her veins like honey, sweet and viscous.

 

Nico sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, still basking in the remnants of post coital bliss, even when she already sensed arousal rearing up its head again.

 

“Round two?”

 

After less than a minute, it was Nico who broke the silence first.

 

“What baffles me is the fact that you're still awake. It's way past your bedtime” Nozomi said, fingers hovering just above Nico’s small hips, eyes full of unmasked love.

 

Nico wasn't in the mood to play give and take, hers had been a yes or no kind of question.

 

“Answer me, round two yes or no?”

 

Her palms were still, gently placed on Nozomi stomach, drinking in her every breath and every movement.

 

“Niccocchi, I'm an old woman you know.”

 

“Is that a no?”

 

She didn't get a chance to finish her sentence because Nozomi locked her hands behind her head and brought her down to capture her in a passionate kiss. And every stroke of her tongue was a spark reigniting Nico’s desire.

 

She let go when they were both breathless, searching for air and aching for more contact. Nozomi slid her hands to Nico’s cheeks, cupping them lovingly.

 

“No. It just means we need to move to the bedroom,” she laughed, licking her lips before speaking again. “Or my back is going to come at me with a vengeance tomorrow morning.”

 

Oh, that was definitely something she could get behind.