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I'm okay ; reddie

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Richie Tozier, a boy everyone loved for his trash mouth and good looks, everyone knew who he was, and he slightly knew everyone else. He was a happy kid but slowly as he got older his parents stopped paying attention to him and some other shit went down which caused him to fall depressed and along the way some anger issues.

His friends are what kept him sane and his smoking habit, he began with just cigarettes at 14 but then started marijuana at 16. He knew how unhealthy all of that was, but he didn't care, it could have all killed him for he cared but he would never dare leave the losers. Smoking the cigarettes was never often and it became less often as he got older because his health was so bad but a while after he turned 16 Beverly called him and told him the great news. She finally found a dealer who was willing to sell her marijuana.

If Beverly ever had problems at home she could tell him and the same went for him, but he never said anything, there was nothing to say his parents didn't care and they were hardly ever around but that changed in the late autumn of 92. There wasn't much for Beverly to say now, she was living with her aunty in Derry; Beverly, after months of begging and convincing she finally got her aunty to move out to Derry. Her aunty didn't mind it in Derry, so she did decide to stay for good.

Late autumn of 92' Riches dad started coming home at night but unfortunately drunk and full of anger. He never dared touched Maggie Tozier but he always went for Richie. He beat him until he got bored and tired, Richie wouldn't dare fight back because he knew his father would fight right back harder and worse.

Richie would begin to start sneaking out at night and end up at one of the loser’s house, near the school or even the arcade. Some nights he didn't even have enough strength or energy to move so he stayed in his room smoking, crying and listening to music. Spring of 92 he started hurting himself but never bothered to tell anyone; he didn't want to bother anyone with his problems.

Richie Tozier was broken but didn't show it, he was slowly giving up but didn't notice himself, he was different with the losers than what he was alone, he knew how to cover his pain and he did it well. No one ever questioned how he was because they figured everything was fine, he was the same old trash mouth but how would they think someone so happy looking could be so depressed.


"Richie, Abby keeps checking you out and it's honestly really creepy." Stan says nudging the lanky boy, Richie looks over to where the blonde is sitting, staring at Richie. "I would even call that checking me out, she's straight out starting, but Stan my boy did you maybe think she was looking at you." Richie says making Stan blush. "she's not fucking looking at me dipshit." Richie shrugs in response.

"quarry today! who's in?" Beverly shouted over the boys speaking. it's their last spring- wait no it's their last couple of weeks in school and everyone is hyped, everyone is finally 18 which is awesome to all of them. "I'm in." they all say one at a time replying to the red head.

Richie is freaking out though, he has bruises and marks on him from his father, normally when the weather is hot his father won't bother with the boy because it's too hot and he just can't he fucked but lately he hasn't given a shit and has beaten Richie. He can't back out now, he wants to. Fuck he wants to. Richie wears thin long sleeves and jumpers when it's hot and he has bruises on his arms but today he'll obviously have to take them off, he hopes no one’s really notice them, especially the ones on his back and if they do he can think of a good enough excuse, he starts thinking now of what he could say and they all seemed pretty believable.


In the end Richie just decided to say he had felt really sick, they offered to chill out at his house instead so he wouldn't miss out but he insisted they still go and have fun.

His mum and dad weren't going to be home for about a month, they had been saving up for ages to go on a holiday and finally had enough to go and of course they didn't plan on taking Richie, so he would be home alone but finally he had a break from the abuse from his dad. they left this morning and Richie couldn't have been happier.


"We missed you yesterday rich." Bev said hugging the thin boy from behind. "You missed out on Stan freaking out about a turtle biting at his feet."

"Oh damn, so disappointing." Richie shook his head is disappointment. "Next time kiddies... oh yeah, my parents are gone for a bit do you guys want to come over this weekend?"


All the losers are meeting at Richie’s house at 4:30pm and staying there for two nights, he promised them some good beer too so they were all excited.

Richie was just setting up the rest of the house because he's mother and father left it kind of messy before they left, and Richie’s been too tired to clean any of it.

The lanky boy walks to the bathroom just to check out he's bruises and what not. "Lucky I don't have to take my shirt off." He laughs nervously to himself. he signs walking out of the bathroom to his room waiting for his friends.

Chapter Text

The losers arrived at Richie’s house about 30 minutes ago and are now trying to figure out what movie to watch.


"Why do we never watch what I pick?!" Eddie yelled at his friends angry, but still cute of course.


"Because Ed’s every time you used to pick the movie it’s always so sad, no tears here, just smiles. that's why." Richie answered the small boy putting his arm around his shoulder.


"Get off me Tozier." Eddie said to Richie pushing the boy off him on to the couch. "But c’mon guys just one more sad movie, this movie is really good." The rest of the losers sighed and gave in letting Eddie put the movie he picked out on.


Eddie was stuck next to Richie, but he truly wasn’t complaining, Bev and Ben we’re together on the bean bag, Mike and Stan were cuddling at the other end of the couch that Eddie and Richie were sitting on and Bill was sitting on the single couch by himself.


“Fancy seeing you here edd-‘’


“SHHH.” Eddie cut of Richie getting comfortable in the chair watching the movie.




“Richie!!” Richie shot up when he heard his name being called from another room, he began to look around the room noticing no one was there, “guys?? Where are you?”


“Richie, come here.” Eddie?


“I’m coming, hey Ed’s where is everyone?” Richie asked walking to his room, rubbing his eyes. How long was I out for? He questions himself.


Sometimes the shortest naps can feel like they lasted years


Richie walked into his room seeing Eddie sitting on his bed, “Eddie, why are you in here exactly?” Richie slowly walked over to his bed sitting next to the small boy. Once he sat next to Eddie he realised his arm, its all jacked up, broken maybe?


“My arm I thinks it’s—”


Richie goes to touch Eddies arm to see what’s up exactly.


“Don’t touch the other boys, Richie.” Richie jumps from the voice, he looks around his room to see where it came from, but it was only the two boys in there. He ignores it and begins to look back at the small boy’s arm, “Don’t or they’ll know your secret.” Richie can feel himself sweating, what the fuck is happening right now. He stands ups and turns around, when he looks back Eddie is staying up and his arm is fine, “Eddie your arm?”


“Kiss me.” Eddie demands stepping closer to Richie, Richie freezes.


“Eddie… are you oka—” before he can even finish his sentence Eddie pulls Richie down and kisses him straight on the lips. Richie pulls away shocked. “Eddie!! What the hell?”


“I know. everyone does.” Eddie whispered, scaring Richie more, “It’s honestly no secret.” Richie was scared and confused, he couldn’t talk, he kept choking up on his words and nothing would end up coming out. “But maybe this can be our little secret.” Eddie pushes Richie up against the wall and kisses him again. This time rougher, he also begins pulling on Richie’s curls and slowly moving his hands down to Richie’s pants. Richie was kissing back now not thinking about what he was doing, he starts to feel his pants being undone. Eddie kneels.


“Eddie… what are you doing?”


“What you want” everything goes silent, “Richie? Richie?? Richie wake up” and with that he did.




It was just all a crazy dream. A dream he hoped he would forget but its all he can think about.


Stan was at the door paying for the pizza’s they had ordered for dinner and everyone was heading to the table to eat, “Hey rich, are you coming?” Mike asks Richie as he is just sitting on the couch looking into space.


“Uh yeah sorry.” Richie stands up going to the table and taking a seat next to Bev, which honestly surprised her, everyone actually. There was an empty seat next to Eddie and he didn’t sit next to him? That was odd to all of them.


“Richie you look really really tired and kind of… I don’t know. Are you alright?” Bill asks taking a slice of pizza from the box.


“What’s everyone want to drink?” Ben asks from the fridge, everyone says what they want, and the subject is now changed.




 ‘Don’t or they’ll know your secret’


The words are ringing in Richie’s head. Everyone partied a little, danced   played video games. That put Richie in a good mood and he forgot about it for a while but now its late and everyone is going to bed. Now its just him and his thoughts. Everyone is sleeping out in the living room, they brought out Richie’s mattress from his room and now him, bill and Eddie are sharing the bed. After a while everyone noticed Stan and Mike weren’t in the room, Bev check Richie’s room and nothing then they worked out they were in Richie’s parents room. The couch actually opened up as a bed, so Ben and Bev slept on that. It didn’t take long for everyone to fall asleep besides Richie.


Well that’s what he thought, “Hey Richie? You awake?” It was Eddie, Richie rolled over then sat up, “Oh good you are. I can’t sleep can we sit outside for a bit.” Richie nods not being able to say no to the boy. They both get up quietly trying not to wake anyone, they make it successfully outside.


“At dinner you seemed a bit off, were you okay?” Eddie slightly mumbles to Richie.


“Yeah just a bad dream is all.” Richie smiles, I’m just going to get a smoke hold on. He stood up and grabbed one from his packet behind the plant near the door, “sometimes I think, oh hey I’m going to quit then I realise how stop that is.”


“Do you want to stop?”


“No… I don’t know why. I just enjoy it I guess.” Richie says lighting it up.


“hey rich…” Richie looks at Eddie, “can I tell you something, I’m telling the losers tomorrow, but I just wanted to tell you first.” He nods, “I’m gay.”