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2018-04-08
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2018-06-01
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15/15
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Love and War

Chapter Text

Hermione yawned and stretched and took another swig of her coffee as she poured over the parchment in front of her and listened to Moody argue with Amelia Bones.

“We should be focusing on rebuilding the Ministry! Half our Aurors are gone, Alastor! We don’t have the resources to strike now! Fudge has dropped off the face of the Earth, we couldn't authorise something like this even if we wanted to!”

“Rubbish! This is the time to strike, while He is momentarily weakened! We’ve wiped out a big chunk of the Death Eaters, haven’t we? We’ve got the Malfoy info and should be moving on it now before he regroups!”

“Moody, you’re talking about striking against 14 different well-defended manors. They will be expecting us. They likely out number us. I’m not saying no I’m saying not right now. To loose more people now would be catastrophic! The Ministry would be more vulnerable than it already is!”

“Enough! Quit your bickering you two, you’re irritating me” Bellatrix snapped as she rubbed her temples. “We know what you think, you’ve been going back and forth for fucking hours. Someone else say something!”

“I think what we really need to do, is outsmart him” Sirius said. “Voldemort will know that Dumbledore is dead, which is an undeniable negative for us despite our mixed feelings towards him. BUT we have Narcissa and Draco here and they have a year of intel for us which is a significant strike against him. One one level, I agree with Amelia. I think everyone needs to have their head in the game for this to work and all of Wizarding Britain at the moment is in shock at the moment but by that same token Alastor is correct. He can’t have decimated all his properties and plans in 2 days and to leave it much longer will be an enormous wasted opportunity.”

“I zink zat the time to strike is now” Fleur said and Hermione glanced at her in surprise. “Everyone at ze moment is angry, upset wiz ze Dark Lord. To respond now will mean zat zose fighting wiz us, against Him, will ‘ave passion in zair hearts. Zey will wish to avenge. Soon, ze anger will fade to fear. Zey will be more susceptible to caving in to His demands to protect zose they ‘ave left.” That was, Hermione thought, an excellent point. If she had learnED anything in the year it was that Wizards were sheep most of the time.

“I think” Tonks said quietly “that if I have picked up on something it’s that the Death Eaters are good, but we’ve cleared out almost all of his Inner Circle at least – the only ones I’m sure are still around are Lucius Malfoy and Rabastan Lestrange. He has numbers but a load of his men are incompetent. The werewolves will be keeping their distance now Greyback is gone with their own internal troubles – yes, nicely done Bella – and I’m yet to see many of the other groups he was rumored to be approaching like the giants or vampires. To be frank, Voldemort’s better than probably a large bulk of his men combined.”

“Get to the point lass” Moody said gruffly.

“What are his weaknesses? He has a pack of mostly brainless idiots working for him that he mostly uses as cannon fodder. He only tends to show up when he’s certain he will win – he’s a classic bully in that way; he sent his blokes off to face certain death attacking every Auror he could in the country while he went after a defenseless train full of kids. Other than that in the past he’s only shown up in person if he has felt angry or embarrassed. He can be patient but he is prideful and has a temper. Surely we can use these against him – somehow.”

“This is true” Snape said slowly. “But how do we use these facts? Do you attempt to attack him directly and hope for success or decimate the fools he still has fighting while they are largely unorganised and poorly trained compared to Dolohov, Rookwood, McNair and the like?”

“The best way would be to do both, somehow” Ted said with a sigh. “The trick is how?”

“If we take out Voldemort, the attacks stop” Remus said firmly. “There will be his goons to track down and take out but they will go into hiding or surrender. Even if they show up claiming the in droves claiming the imperious again at least the violence will cease. Striking at his goons will be a blow to him but it will just make him desperate and angry. He might be at his most likely to take risks when angry but he certainly will be the most dangerous.”

“A good bluff is what we need” said Ron, scratching at his chin thoughtfully.

“I just cant wait for the Quibbler to have a positive headline again” Xenophillius quipped from the corner. “Voldemort defeated!” instead of “180 aurors and their families slaughtered!”

Hermione’s eyes flickered to him as a wild thought struck her brain. “I have an idea! Its….its mad, completely mad. Absolutely mental. But I think...it could be just what we need. I know just the person to do it too.”

0x0x0

“You want me to what?” hissed a furious blond witch in magenta robes.

“I don’t really have time for this shite, Rita. You’ll do as I ask or you’ll go to Azkaban. Actually I’ve taken the liberty of speaking with Amelia Bones, she said she would register you as an Animagus retrospectively and then you’ll never having me darkening your doorway again” HermIone said.

“And what’s to stop me cursing your head from your shoulders?” Rita Skeeter snapped irritably.

“We’ll flay you alive” came a voice from Rita Skeeters living area and she jumped and turned with fright to see Bellatrix and Tonks sitting calmly in her living area.

“Wha – how did you get in my house?” she screeched angrily.

“You opened the door” Bellatrix said with a childish giggle. “Come on Skeeter, yay or nay? Glory or prison? If you do this for us you can hide out at one of our safe houses until this is all over.”

“Fine!” she grit out. “This is madness though!”

“Oh I know, but just think – if it works you’ll be the journalist who changed the course of the war and you wont have me blackmailing you any more. It’s win-win really.”

“Yes, unless the Dark Lord comes and forcibly removes my head from my shoulders!”

“If all goes to plan he’ll have bigger concerns. Come on now” Hermione said firmly and Rita Skeeter threw her hands into the air in frustration and stalked back into her house to pack a bag.

0x0x0

Rabastan Lestrange paid his two knuts for the Daily Prophet and placed it on the table, calmly pouring himself a large mug of pumpkin juice before lacing it generously with firewhisky and buttered his toast.

“Morning Lucius” he grunted as Lucius gracefully placed himself in the chair at the head of the table at Malfoy Manner, adjusting his eyepatch. He mused, looking around, that as nice as it was being the two most important people to the Dark Lord for the past week it really did make the enormous table look ludicrously large. There was a lot less that was nice to look at now both his sisters in law had left the building as well.

“Rabastian” he greeted with a nod. “Pass the juice please?”

Lucius slowly prepared his own breakfast and after exchanging pleasantries and Rabastian flicked open the paper to the comic section in the center and lifted it up, chuckling quietly to himself. Hearing a clatter and strange noise he lowered the paper to glance at Malfoy.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Lucius looked as though he was about to vomit and pointed vaguely at the front page of the Prophet. RabastIan shrugged and took a swig of his pumpkin juice which he promptly spat all over the headline when he closed the paper and his eyes settled on it.

“Rabastian, is our Lord still locked away plotting in the study with Nagini?” he asked, still looking horrified.

“Has been all night” Rabastian said hoarsely as he struggled to process the implications of the front page of the newspaper.

“Fuck” Lucius said faintly.

“Fuck” Rabsatian agreed in a strangled voice.

 

‘DARK LORD DEFEATED BY HARRY POTTER ONCE AND FOR ALL’

'Celebrations are abound all over the Wizarding World with confirmation of a successful strike against He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named last night, writes Special Correspondent Rita Skeeter.

Meeting with the Boy-Who-Lived himself, young Mister Potter confirmed that he along with an Auror Strike Team, struck at Riddle Manor in Little Hangleton late last night after receiving information from Narcissa Malfoy who managed to escape the Dark Lord along with her son several days ago.

As the Wizarding World celebrations wind up the Ministry has been forced back into action with massive amounts of British witches and wizards as well as foreign nationals showing up in droves at the Ministry to surrender their wands after Amelia Bones, head of the DMLE and acting Minister for Magic, confirmed the death penalty and sentancing to the infamous Wizarding Prison, Azkaban, would be removed with an alternative location sourced, and concessions made for those who made a positive choice and could offer any intelligence on the whereabouts of any remaining forces of the Dark Lord, an opportunity to make such a deal being open until midnight tonight.

Mister Potter confirmed that there was a Prophecy, as had been suspected for quite some time by this vigilant reporter, that confirmed that he was to be the one to defeat the Dark Lord when all his followers would abandon him in his hour of need and those that didn’t would suffer with him.

A commemoration celebrating the life of Harry Potter and his success is to take place at the Ministry of Magic this evening with Mister Potter and his friends expected to make an appearance.

“On behalf of the Ministry of Magic, we can only sincerely thank Harry Potter, and the remainder of the strike team for their efforts last night. This is a bright day for Britain” - for the full speech by Amelia Bones and accompanying analysis see page 10.

“It was hard, but not impossible. It couldn’t have been done without the support and love of all my loved ones. Love was what defeated [name retracted] after all” - for an exclusive interview with Harry Potter see pages 2, 3 and 4.

“I’d spit on his grave if there was anything left of him to bury after Potter finished with him” - for an interview on her time since Azkaban, a rumoured shotgun wedding and her part in the defeat of the Dark Lord see this reporters brief chat with Bellatrix Lupin-Black on page 5.’

 

Beyond the paragraph covering the front page of the newspaper was an enormous picture of Harry Potter and his infuriating friends clapping politely as cloaked wizards trekked into the Ministry and surrendered their wands. Rabastian stared blankly at Lucius.

“What the fuck are we going to do?” he hissed. “Our Lord will have our heads if we don’t tell him!”

“He will have our heads if we do” replied an equally terrified looking Malfoy. “All those fools He has been working with will be at the Ministry as we speak flinging their wands away and begging for mercy!”

“We could…join them” Rabastian offered in a light tone, prepared to write the statement off as a bad joke, dependent on his friends reaction.

“No. Narcissa and Bellatrix will not let either of us escape with anything less than life in prison. They are aware of what we have done. Our Lord will not retrieve us again. Our only option is to tell Him and face his rage or flee.”

“He will find us” Rabastian said mournfully.

“...Shall we try anyway?” Lucius asked after a beat.

“Lets” Rabastian said quickly and jumped to his feet in relief. “Quickly now.”

They both started when the door to the dining hall creaked open and shot each other fleeting, petrified glances and shot to their feet then stood pressed next to each other to conceal the view of the paper as the Dark Lord strolled in and narrowed his red eyes at them.

“Lucius. Rabastian. Good morning to you both” he said suspiciously.

“Good morning my Lord” Lucius murmured.

“Er – morning my Lord” Rabastian echoed.

“What is it?” Voldemort hissed as the two men stepped in front of him, shoulder to shoulder, when he went to take a seat - determined to shield the paper from view.

“Nothing, my Lord. Tell me, did you remember to extinguish the candles in the study? I have been concerned of late about….about house fires” Lucius said wildly.

“House fires?” Voldemort asked slowly. Lucius nodded quickly. “From magical candles?”

“Very common these days, house fires” Rabastian said as firmly as he could manage, avoiding eye contact.

“You are both acting extremely suspiciously” the Dark Lord proclaimed. “I will be taking a seat now.” He stepped to the right and the two men before him mirrored his actions preventing his access to the table.

“Er – what’s that over there!” Rabastian yelled suddenly and pointed over the other side of the room and, ignoring the horrified look Lucius shot him when Voldemort turned back to face the doorway and attempted to fling the paper to the other side of the table, only succeeding in scattering the pages down the table.

“There is nothing there, Rabastian” Voldemort said coldly. “You are irking me. Stand aside.”

Rabastian felt a sudden wild longing that he, like his brother, had suffered Bellatrix ending his life in a shower of blood and gore. At least it had been quick. Judging from Lucius’ green tinge he felt the same. Voldemort lost his patience and with a wave of his wand blasted them across the room. I could pretend to be dead? He thought to himself wildly, noticing he was even further from the door now than he had been before. Carefully lifting his head his jaw dropped to see Lucius raise his wand in a feat of self-preservation Rabastian hadn’t thought possible while their Lord was staring in astonishment at the newspaper.

“Avada Kedavra” Lucius hissed and a green light erupted from his wand. Voldemort looked up in shock as the curse closed in on him. His hopes flared for a moment when the snake-like man appeared too shocked to move only for Nagini to rear back and lunge in front of her master as the curse struck her and collapsed to the floor dead. Voldemort turned to face them both, eyes red with rage.

“Oh no” Lucius muttered as a green flash rushed their way.

0x0x0

“I can’t believe this is working so well” Amelia muttered from her spot in between Tonks and Moody as a steady procession of sheepish magical folk made their way into the Ministry atrium, surrendered their wands and submitted to Veritaserum confirming their names, any associates they knew of and confessions before they submitted to the most intense magical suppression manacles Tonks had ever seen.

In a throwback to British colonization, the Australian Ministry of Magic had agreed to secretly house the surrendering criminals in several of the large prisons in the middle of the Australian Outback scattered all over the country for a hefty price for 12 months until they could be processed and were sent off via Portkey. Tonks had been present when Amelia had flooed to the Australian Ministry at some ridiculous hour of the morning and met with their Minister, Jack Bradman, who had appeared to find the whole hoax almost unsettlingly hilarious and then tried to explain a complicated story about Australian muggle soldiers ingeniously fleeing somewhere called Gallipoli in World War One with fancy timed guns that Tonks had not understood in the slightest but vowed to try to remember to tell Hermione about knowing she would probably find it interesting. To top it off he had offered fifty of his most trusted Aurors who all agreed to a vow of loyalty and to not reveal the hoax who would disperse themselves undercover as random citizens and try and assist with the assassination attempt and who would remain in in England for a few weeks until things settled down.

“I’m not surprised” Tonks said happily. “It was Hermione’s idea, my girlfriend is brilliant after all.”

“Very” Amelia said dryly as she scanned the room before letting out a sigh. “Oh Merlin, we need to do something about the Australians. Look at them all shivering over there, they won’t even be able to aim.”

“I dunno, that one your niece looks to be flirting with seems to be aiming pretty well” Tonks said with grin, gesturing to where Susan had sidled up to one of the younger more rakish looking Australian Aurors who had lifted his shirt up revealing chiseled abs and was showing her an enormous tattoo of a shark across his ribs. Amelia narrowed her eyes and shot off a stinging hex and he jumped about a foot in the air and shot her a concerned look.

“Er - Constant Vigilance!” Amelia shouted before raising an eyebrow at Susan who sheepishly trailed away. Moody snorted and Tonks burst out laughing.

“They are all very good looking though, very rugged” murmured Hestia Jones as she stepped up to join them where they were overseeing the latest transfer, eying them with a look of glee. It was not very often that 50 tanned, flirty, good looking foreigners spent the day loitering around your office, after all.

“We’ll need to get them some robes or they’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Do they not wear robes in Australia?” Tonks asked.

“I’ve spend some time down there. Very lax” Moody said disapprovingly. “Very good in a fight, but not much for rules or fancy uniforms.”

“Thank goodness for that” Hestia muttered.

“Auror Jones, stop your drooling and go and source them some uniforms” Amelia said with a sigh. “Auror Tonks, I must say I’m impressed you’re managing to remain somewhat composed.”

“I’m a one woman woman, Boss” Tonks said with a laugh. “Though, if I were single I’d be climbing that one like a tree” she said cheekily, pointing at one of the blond Aurors in the corner who shot her a wink and a wave and Amelia choked on her water before slapping the back of her head.

Things descended into madness a few moments later. Hestia appeared levitating an enormous pile of Auror uniforms and obviously gave a very poor explanation of where the loos where that they could change in because they promptly started taking off their shirts and trousers and reaching for the pile of uniforms and robes. Tonks saw Hestia pinch herself as if to confirm she was awake a she gazed open mouthed around the room.

“Oh my Merlin” came a gasp from behind Tonks and she turned to see a wave of people from Murrook had shown up. Tonks snorted at the gob-smacked look on most of their faces.

“Amelia, why is your office full of male strippers!” Sirius demanded irritably and scowled at them. Amelia pet his arm reassuringly.

“They’re the Australian Aurors” Tonks said helpfully. She felt herself pushed aside by Bellatrix who gawked at them unabashed.

“My god. I have to go back and get Cissy, this’ll cheer her up immensely” she said quickly. “Make sure they don’t put too many clothes on I’ll be back in a minute!” she cried sprinting out of the room.

“How the bloody hell am I meant to do that?” Tonks cried but received no response.

The women spread themselves around the room to enjoy the view while men gathered in a corner and frowned heavily as the Aussies strolled around shirtless appearing quite content. Tonks jumped when she felt a hand slip into her own.

“Well this ought to distract everyone nicely from the prospect of facing a dark wizard in a few hours” Hermione said as she took in the scene. “Bella just came sprinting into the dining room and said that the Auror office was full of male models then ran off looking for Cissa. I thought I’d come see what the hell she was talking about. Goodness they’re all very good looking aren’t they?”

“They’re not that good looking” came the sullen voice of Ron as he scowled in the corner. To her surprise Draco was beside him and nodded firmly in agreement.

“Luna! Luna what’re you doing?” Ginny hissed and covered her face with her hands in horror as she Luna happily strolled down the stairs to one of the shirtless Aurors and smiled at him.

“Hello little lady” he said with a grin that showed off his perfect white teeth.

“Please excuse me for a moment” she said politely then stepped against him and ran her tongue up his arm. He gazed at her, apparently bemused. “Salty” she proclaimed happily and skipped back towards the stairs. Hermione had got such a bad case of the giggles she had to hold onto the railing for support.

“Look at McGonogall” Harry spluttered suddenly and pointed at the door across the other side of the room where she had entered carrying a large box of potions and promptly froze in shock.

“Let me get that for you Miss” cried one of the Australians as he jogged up to her and relieved her of the crate and paced a hand gently on the small of her back. “May I?”

“Yes, you may young man” McGonogall said simply and smirked a little as she allowed herself to be led towards the stairs that everyone else was waiting on.

“Bellatrix, Andromeda, will you release me at once, I don’t know what you think you’re doing” came an angry hiss behind them as Bellatrix reappeared with Narcissa and Andromeda as she struggled against being frog-marched down the stairs. The procession halted as Andromeda and Narcissa froze wide-eyed halfway down upon catching a glimpse of the half-naked Aurors. Some of them by now had managed to struggle into the uniforms and robes but they were far too tight for the larger men and stretched across their chests.

“Hello lads” Bellatrix called happily as she resumed dragging her sister down the stairs. Tonks watched, amused, as her mother shook her head quickly and resumed assisting in tugging her youngest sister down towards the now puzzled Aussies. “This is my lovely sister, Narcissa Black. Recently single!”

“G’day” came the voice of the nearest one who stepped forward and grasped her hand, pressing his lips to it, winking roguishly at her. Narcissa went a brilliant shade of pink. “I don’t know what sort of mad bastard would let a lovely lady like yourself go. Name’s Jordan Bateman, my mates call me Keg.”

“Keg?” came the horrified voice of Draco behind her.

“Lovely to meet you – er – Mr Bateman” Narcissa spluttered.

“Please, call me Jordan, or Keg even!” he insisted cheerfully, pointing at his friends who had walked up to the small huddle of people and were gazing at the three Black sisters with hopeful expressions. “This is Macca, Thommo, Andy, Bev, and my brother Johnno.”

“Charmed” Bellatrix said with a wink. “So, which one of you strapping young lads is going to take my beautiful sister out to dinner tomorrow night?” A dozen hands flew into the air. Tonks thought she heard Draco let out a strangled sob but didn’t turn to look at him, unable to tear her eyes from the mad scene in front of her.

“That’s very kind of all of you, but honestly boys, I’m hold enough to be your mother!” Narcissa said firmly.

“Bullshit! You don’t look a day over 25! None of you do” cried the one Tonks thought must be Bev. Hermione was shaking with laughter beside her as the three sisters preened. Remus growled. Ted was laughing almost as hard as Tonks and Hermione were.

“We’ll take you all out for a drink when we get rid of this Dark Lord with you” said Macca reassuringly. “All you have to do is direct us to the nearest pub girls!”

“Unfortunately, Bella and I are quite happily married” Tonks saw her mother proclaim with a shrug and a grin.

“Bring you husbands! The more the merrier!” Thommo shouted. “Who’s up for a schooner when we finish up tonight here fellas?” he yelled and was soon met with cheers from most of the room.

“Yay” squeaked Hestia.

“I’ve a horrible feeling they aren’t taking this very seriously” said Hermione quietly.

“Sometimes life’s easier that way sweets. I think they’ll go alright” Tonks said. “Everything ready?”

“Yes, Bill and Fleur have just about finished the wards downstairs and the last wave of people surrendering has just about finished being processed it looks like. Severus thinks that should be almost all of them, we’re in for a fighting chance. It seems most likely He’ll make a scene and show up partway through the speeches.”

“Good. Let’s just hope we can make it through this with as few casualties as possible” Amelia said from nearby with a heavy sigh.

“Hopefully this time tomorrow it’ll all be over” Harry said looking tentatively hopeful as he stepped forward to the railing to lean over it and look down at the Australian’s flirting wildly with the Black sisters.

“I live in hope, Mr Potter” McGonogall said.

0x0x0

Hermione sat nervously in her seat, palming her wand, torn between wishing desperately that Voldemort would make an appearance so everything could be done and absolutely dreading the idea of him appearing. Harry had been rambling on for ten minutes now after his introduction by Amelia Bones as he read a speech that she had whipped up when he was quite certain he would be unable to come up with anything to say when faced with such a large audience as hundred of people stared at him adoringly from the audience.

Flicking her eyes over the audience she caught sight of Tonks pink hair from where she stood beside one of the unmissable Australian Aurors who looked much more tall and tanned than all the stout British pure bloods filling the room and mused that despite their uniforms they still stuck out like sore thumbs as Tonks had suspected they would. She flushed suddenly at the salacious wink Tonks send her when they made eye contact and the Auror laughed quietly.

Despite her hyper vigilance she still jumped with fright when a spell suddenly bounced off the invisible field surrounding the stage and people started screaming and she jumped to her feet, drawing her wand. This was going to be the most dangerous part – Voldemort would likely go straight for Harry and she, Ron, Ginny, Luna and the twins would be trying to defend him until the Aurors and everyone else got to the stage to assist as quickly as they could before she and her friends would jump into the audience to take out any threats there. It was going to be the most risky 2 minutes or so in the whole plan. Sure enough, the wards exploded outwards as Voldemort appeared on stage.

“Harry Potter” Voldemort hissed. He looked absolutely, furiously, terrifying. His red eyes flashed as his tattered black cloak fluttered around him and he raised his wand. “Bow before me and I will make it quick. You have no hope of defeating me – I who have taken steps towards immortality no one could have dreamed of!”

“The Horcruxes are destroyed. I’m not scared of you, Tom” Harry said coldly and drew his own wand.

“You should be” he hissed angrily, his face etched briefly with surprise. “Crucio!”

Harry dove out of the way and Hermione and Ron quickly flung blasting hexes at him until Harry could launch to his feet. Ginny pointed her wand skyward and quickly blasted a chunk out of the ceiling that rained on Voldemort from above and Luna did the same and took the moment of distraction to dash forwards with Ron where the three of them flung as many spells as they could, fruitlessly, as Voldemort flicked them away.

Hermione felt herself thrown to her side as Ron pushed her out of the way of a purple flickering light that flew narrowly over her head and she flicked a flaming whip out of her wand towards Voldemort as she rolled to her feet that he dispelled with ease and she heard Ginny scream as Ron was blasted backwards into the deaths they had been sitting on.

“Avada Kedavra” he cried and Hermione flicked her wand again as a shower of birds surrounded them and absorbed the curse but screamed herself when moments later Harry was slammed back into her and they painfully hit the tiled floor. She was relieved to her him wheeze loudly as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Get up” she screeched hysterically at him only to fumble for her wand seeing lethal shards of ice flying towards them, melting into water only moments before they struck and Hermione gasped as the freezing water washed over her. It was McGonogall and Bellatrix who quickly sent a flurry of curses towards the Dark Lord. Hermione briefly marveled at the colours flying through the air above their heads.

Scrambling to her feet, dazed, and seeing Luna and Ginny yank up Harry and drag him back towards Ron to take cover behind one of the pillars Hermione cast a quick protago on Bellatrix as light flicked towards her, her back to the audience, as she and McGonogall who were quickly joined by Sirius and Andromeda attempted to force him into the corner. Allowing her eyes to flick over the audience she saw that the bulk of the crowd had attempted to flee but had been unable to escape the sealed doors and were pressing themselves against the walls while the Aurors and some of the braver audience members were locked into tight duels with the few remaining Voldemort supporters. Fleur’s voice suddenly rang out over the audience from her place beside Tonks where they battled a masked Death Eater fiercely. A few meters away one of the Aussies was being backed against an enormous marble pillar, heavily outnumbered.

“Aidez-le vous les imbeciles! Merde! You outnumber zem twenty to one!” she screeched. A few of the others in the audience threw hesitant looks around and drew their wands, flinging spells at the Death Eaters.

“That’s the way Frenchie!” cried Thommo delightedly at the wave of support. “You tell ‘em!”

Hermione paid dearly for letting herself be distracted as she was blasted across the room, landing luckily in the pool of the fountain, and felt fire scorching at her clothes and smelt and saw half her hair alight.

“Oh shit” she gasped as pain washed over her and she pulled wildly at her clothes and head.

“Hold still Miss Granger!” came a voice above her and Narcissa quickly dragged her behind another pillar and started muttering counter curses and the fire crawling across her insides began retreating and she could breath again. She took a shuddering breath.

“Here drink this, it will be painful and it will scar but there shouldn’t be any further damage” she said hurriedly handing her a potion.

“Thank you Narcssa” Hermione stumbled to her feet and collapsed against her in a brief hug. Narcissa tensed in shock but quickly reciprocated and they separated, Hermione fighting her way through the crowds before a glimmer caught her eye and she flicked her wand up in a shield, trying to ignore the ache in her chest.

“Give it up girlie” a masked man snarled, stepping forwards.

“Furnunclous!” Hermione shouted and flicked her wand, smirking in satisfaction when he dived to the right and straight into her silent, oncoming banishing spell with a satisfying crack.

“You European sheilas are bloody terrifying” laughed one of the Australian’s as he dashed over. “You right?” Hermione nodded and dashed off again while he narrowed his eyes and sent a dark hex at one of the other Death Eaters that had been about to strike Remus from behind.

Fighting her way back to the stage it appeared that Voldemort had been backed into a corner where he was still fighting furiously with barely a mark on him against Harry, Bellatrix, Andromeda, Sirius, McGonogall and Amelia and she watched as Draco clambered up onto the platform and joined the fray, a furious look on his face. Hearing a hex nearby she dropped to the floor and rolled onto her back, eyes widening as a cloaked man charged towards her and she palmed her knife and flung it at his exposed throat.

The Death Eaters, she noted as more and more audience members stepped into the fray, were dropping like flies and several off them after failing to apparate out had thrown down their wands in surrender finding themselves vastly outnumbered.

“GET UP YOU COWARDS” The furious Dark Lord screamed from the stage as he noticed the turn of the tide and Hermione felt her skin crawl as his rage washed across the room.

“Why won’t you fucking DIE” shouted Bellatrix in frustration and finally managed to get a blasting curse through his defense and he flew backwards into the wall.

“Expelliarmus!” Shouted Harry as the bone white wand flew from his hand, a flicker of triumph on his face. Snape, who looked unarmed and significantly worse for wear, had clambered up the stairs clutching onto the railing for support and stumbled into view. Draco quickly stamped on the bone white wand and smiled grimly as it snapped in two.

“You!” hissed the Voldemort venomously.

“Me” Snape said coldly, straightening his back and holding out his hand. Andromeda handed him her wand, the Elder Wand – Hermione remembered, and the world froze as he raised it. “Avada Kedavra”.

Tom Riddle slumped to the ground as his red eyes paled, and he gazed blankly towards the ceiling. Everyone with eyes to the stage had stopped with bated breath as the battle carried on behind them.

“Check he’s dead” Amelia said, leaning on the wall for support with her hands on her knees. Sirius, nursing a broken wrist and with blood dripping down his face and arm stepped immediately to her and threw one of her arms over his shoulder to help her stand.

Ron stumbled forwards, limping heavily and stared with determination at the lifeless form on the floor as he made his way over and knelt awkwardly, reaching out a shaking hand.

“He’s dead” he said quietly and Hermione exhaled with relief as McGonogall swept him into a hug, a surprised look on his face, and burst into tears. Those on the stage quickly clamored around the body and wrapped each other in hugs and Hermione grinned, turning and scanning to look for familiar pink hair and finally caught Tonks eyes, relief written all over her face.

A look of confusion crossed her face, however, as Hermione’s face went from glee to horror.

“Behind you!” she screamed and Tonks looked down in surprise as a splintered wood burst through her chest. Gazing, open mouthed in shock, at Hermione she sunk to her knees as blood started oozing down her chest. Hermione saw Jordan Bateman, the Auror who had kissed Narcissa’s hand politely hours earlier, furiously blast the Death Eater’s head from his shoulders in a burst of sudden gore. Hermione didn't remember moving but she was suddenly crouching at her side.

“That’s not ideal” Tonks murmured in a strangely calm voice as she eyed the blood covered 20 centimeter bit of wood sticking out of the left hand side of her chest and took a shuddering breath.

“Don’t you die, Nymphadora Tonks, I mean it” Hermione said dangerously, a sob escaping her.

“I meant what I said all that time ago – about having me stuffed” Tonks gasped, the colour draining from her face and her hair a mousy brown.

“Stop it!” Hermione cried. “I’m not stuffing you you’re going to be fine! Why isn’t someone helping me?” she screamed wildly but everyone was too busy celebrating to look in the corner where they were situated.

“I love you” Tonks whispered, sincerely, and raising a shaking hand to her face. Hermione faintly registered how sticky it was. “I’d have loved to do everything we talked about in the shower.”

“We still can, please” Hermione said in a pleading voice. “I can’t, I can’t do it without you.”

“What’s going on here then!” came the surprisingly cheerful voice above them. It was Macca. “Ooh, that looks like it doesn’t tickle” he said with a wince, looking at Tonks.

“What?” she spluttered incoherently, gazing between him and Tonks, increasingly pale on the ground, in shock.

“Looks like a classic case of wood through the lung” he said, scratching at his stubble. Hermione fumbled for her wand to hex him into the next century.

“Hold up there missy, she’ll be right mate. We’ll have her right in a jiffy” he said with a wink. Hermione couldn’t move, feeling as though she had landed in some strange alternate universe. “You’re a metamorphmagus, yeah?”

Tonks nodded.

“Alright, here’s what were going to do. I’m going to yank this bit of wood out, Thommo here – OI! THOMMO! GET YOUR HAIRY ARSE OVER HERE WOULD YA? Cheers mate, yeah Tommy-boy’s going to wait til I yank it out and start flicking his wand around inside you here to get all that shite out of ya, and your pretty little girlfriends going to give you the kiss of life. Know CPR kid? Goodo, just do the breathing bit. All you have to do is heal those lungs then you’re done, right?”

“You’re mad!” Hermione and Tonks said. Tonks sounded strangely awed. Hermione was horrified, still.

“After you pass out from the pain and wake up you have to promise to set me up with your pretty blond aunt though, got it? I’ll let you keep the wood as a memento. Alright, on the count of three then. One. Two.”

“Stop!” Hermione screamed.

“THREE!” Kneeling to hold her in position Macca, with a look of intense concentration, reefed the wood out and Tonks gasped in pain as blood spurted out of the wound. “Quick mate, your up!” he said happily, slapping her on the shoulder. Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed for a moment. Not knowing what else to do she leant forward, tilted Tonk’s head back and pinched her nose then breathed firmly into her mouth. “Keep going! I’ll tell you when to stop mate” Macca said from behind her as Hermione forced another breath through.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?!” Came Andromeda’s hysterical voice in the back ground.

“Hold this wood, wouldja?” I’ll start compressions in a sec if she doesn’t level out” Macca said cheerfully.

“Oh, that was a big bit!” Thommo said gruffly in the background. Hermione could look, unable to tear her eyes away from Tonks as she counted and the minutes passed. One two three breath. One two three breath.

“Look at that! Lungs are as good as new!” Macca said excitedly. “You can stop now for a sec mate, see if she can do it on her own. She’s unconscious now. Stitch her up Tommy-boy.”

Hermione scrambled backwards a little, reaching her hand out, reasssured to feel a faint but steady pulse and see Tonks’ mangled chest rise and fall while Thommo waved his wand, muttering under his breath, and the wounds slowly closed. Finally, he leant bedck on his haunches and Macca knelt beside him, looking over the wound carefully and seemed satisfied. He looked to Hermione and gave her a nod.

“It’s destroyed the muscles in her back and chest where the wood went through kid but she can build them back up again if she takes it easy, no worries. What a relief. I wasn’t sure that’d work at all” he said with a laugh. Hermione finally snapped and dove towards him, slugging him in the face as hard as she could.

“You fucking mad Australia bastard!” she screamed. “You could’ve killed her! You didn't know what you were doing!?” she shrieked incredulously. Thommo, she could hear in the background, was laughing hysterically. She tried to hit him again as she felt strong arms pull her backwards and was tugged into Bellatrix’s familiar smell.

“Shhh kitten it’s alright now.”

Hermione pressed her face into her shoulder and sobbed. “A classic case of wood through the lung” she mumbled faintly, hysterically.

“Everything is going to be fine” sniffed Andromeda from behind her and Hermione threw an arm around her as well.

0x0x0

Tonks felt a vague awareness wash over her as voices drifted over the top of her.

“You’ve a mean right hook Granger, I’ve not seen Macca with a black eye like that in years” came a cheerful voice.

“It’s true! No one’s slugged me one like that in at least a decade, woulda knocked me on my arse if I hadn’t already been on the ground. Ever thought of coming to Aus? You’d fit right in mate.”

“Er – look, I’m very sorry about punching you. It was very rude, considering you’d just saved Tonks’ life and all. I feel awful. When I’d had a chance to process things earlier this evening I sort of realised that there was no way she could’ve been moved like that and I might have...overreacted a bit. I was overwhelmed, a tad.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it miss, he needs a good kick up the arse every now and again to keep him in check!”

“No need to apologise at all Granger, the whole thing was enormous fun!”

“You really are a bunch of lunatics aren’t you?” came Bellatrix’s amused voice.

“Black! You were unreal mate! I’ve never seen anyone wield a wand like that. You’re husbands a lucky man. You’d fit right in as well. Wouldn’t want you spending too much time around my wife though in case she got any ideas on how to hex my stupid arse more than she already does.”

“I try” came Bellatrix’s haughty voice.

“Will you all go away” hissed an impatient voice that could only be Poppy Pomfrey. “Nymphadora needs to rest!”

“Nymphadora!” came the cry of one of the Australians. “Here name’s Nymphadora? God no wonder she prefers Tonks. What a bloody stupid name. No offense Andy!”

“None taken” came her mothers dry voice.

“I suggested Nymphadora as a joke” Bellatrix explained. “Unfortunately Andy liked the name.”

“Will you all stop saying the word Nymphadora? Christ my shoulders killing me” Tonks mumbled as her eyes flickered open and she winced.

“She’s awake! Get Johnno to chuck the beers in the fridge so they’re ready!”

Tonks blinked away the bright light in the room and looked around as her mother leaned over her.

“Hi mum.”

“Dora, darling I’m so glad you’re alright” Andromeda said with watery eyes as she squeezed her hand. “I’ll go tell the other’s you’re alright. Ben’s been dying to see you.”

“How’s my favorite niece?” Bellatrix said with a grin. “You’ve kept us waiting for two days now, bout time you got up. Kitten’s not left.”

Tonks’ eyes flickered to her right where Hermione was sobbing silently into one of the shoulder of one of the Australian’s she didn't know, who had his arm around her and was patting her back reassuringly.

“You alright sweets?” Tonks croaked.

“Got yourself a real firecracker there mate” said Macca with a chuckle. His eye was black and swollen, which he gestured to with a wink.

“Baby come here” Tonks said and lifted her right arm and Hermione, still sobbing, relocated herself from the chair to the bed where she sobbed into Tonks’ shoulder instead. “I’m alright, see? I’ll be good as new soon.”

“I was so worried” Hermione sobbed, the sound muffled by her face being pressed into Tonks’ hospital gown. “I thought you were dead. I nearly killed Macca in a fit of rage.”

“I can see that” Tonks said with a laugh. “You can’t just go around punching Australian men, even if they seem to like it.”

“Macca is a twisted sort, he is” proclaimed Bev cheerfully. “I bet he loved it.”

“I did” Macca said reassuringly. Hermione lifted her tired, red eyes finally and met Tonks’ violet ones and the older witch cracked a grin.

“See, everything's fine love. I’m fine and Maccas fine, the Dark Wanker is dea- mmph!”

Hermione had pressed her lips agasint Tonks’ own and kissed her firmly. Tonks quickly opened her mouth and leaned into it, tangling a finger in her hair to pull her closer. The room erupted into wolf-whistles.

“Yes, alright, no need to scar us all for life” Bellatrix said with a laugh as they finally broke for air.

“Ignore her, don’t stop on our account” Thommo said with a cheeky grin.

“OUT! All of you!” shouted Madame Pomfrey as she bustled into the room.

“Scary sheila, that one” Macca remarked as he stretched and stood up. “Come on lads. We’ve got some pubs to assess for Saturday.”

“What’s happening Saturday?” Tonks asked in interest as they trailed from the room.

“Apparently we’re all waking up at the crack of dawn to go on something called a pub crawl” Hermione said, rolling her eyes but grinning none the less. “You should be out of here by then and they’ve been waiting impatiently.”

“That sounds like fun. Plenty of time for me to rest up and tie you to the bed for three days before we go out then” Tonks murmured.

“You need rest!” Pomfrey declared from the next room. “There will be no bed-tying or pub crawls until I am satisfied you are healed!”

“Come and take a look at me quickly then” Tonks said with a laugh.

0x0x0

Tonks grinned cheerfully the following Saturday evening as she swigged at the cold muggle beer the Australian’s had been plying her with and wrapped her arm around her tipsy girlfriend as gazed around the pub. Harry, in a hushed voice due to the muggles nearby, was half-pissed himself and grasping Ginny’s hand firmly as he regalled the Australian’s with the tale of his defeat of the baslisk while they listened attentively and chatted about how poisonous the Baslisk and Nagini would have been compared to some of the normal snakes they had in Australia.

Sirius and Amelia where huddled in a corner, and he raised his glass with a nod to one of the Aurors who walked past, apparently having decided along with the rest of the men that the Aussies were ‘alright’ after the Ministry battle. Ted was chatting about potions to Snape and Xeno Lovegood, and McGonogall was placed in a small table with the Black sisters who were laughing uproariosly at something Bellatrix had said. Neville chatted happily to a relaxed Draco and Luna was dancing with an awkward looking Ron to a folk tune the band was playing.

“Finish your drinks! Next pub in fifteen minutes!” someone shouted suddenly and Hermione groaned as she lifted her beer and downed it.

“How are you holding up, love?” Tonks asked as she finished her own glass and dropped it on the table.

“I’m fucked” Hermione said quietly with a laugh.

“Not yet you’re not. Had any thoughts about the Aussies offer?” Tonks said with a wink.

“I have, actually. I think laying on a secluded beach on the other side of the planet for three weeks sounds absolutely amazing” Hermione said with a sultry look.

“Mmm. Will we be wearing anything?”

“Absolutely not. That’s why we’re going to a secluded one” she said and nipped at Tonks’ neck.

“I can hardly wait, then. What did McGonogall say about your exams?”

“She thinks that if I put my head down and study for a few weeks when we get back I should be ready to take my NEWTs at the end of August and I’m already fairly ahead with most of the basic classes anyway. Frankly I’m just ready to get you into bed” she said with a grin, slipping her hand under Tonks shirt.

“I’m going to take you out drinking more often” Tonks said, eyes alight with desire.

“Can we settle now for just taking me somewhere private right now?” Hermione said, biting her lip.

“Ever shagged in a pub toilet before?” Tonks said with a waggle of the eyebrows.

“You know I bloody haven’t, you git.”

“Come on then” Tonks laughed and rolled her shoulder experimentally, pleased with how much better it was feeling.

“Taking a detour are we?” Johnno said with a laugh as they stumbled towards the loos.

“Yeah but zip it will ya? My bloody mother’s right over there” Tonks said with a laugh before she was tugged away.

“If you vanish my clothes I will kill you” Tonks said quietly as they slipped into the stall. Hermione just smirked at her and reefed down her pants before pulling out her wand and her knickers disappeared into thin air. “Oh my god what did I just say? Oh – oh my god” Tonks said though clenched teeth as Hermione quickly slipped two fingers inside her.

“Stop complaining and fuck me” Hermione husked into her ear and Tonks bit back a moan and slipped deft fingers into the front of Hermione’s jeans, grinning as she rolled her hips involuntarily.

Within minutes Tonks had found her shuddering release and quickly focused on obtaining her girlfriends.

“Keep it down!” she laughed quietly. “Unless you want mum to head you getting off!”

“Stop being so good at it then” Hermione said as she threw her head back against the cubical wall and moaned loudly before the door swung open just as her walls tightened around Tonks fingers.

“Girls! What are you doing in there? It’s time to go!” Andromeda yelled. Tonks kept her other hand clamped over Hermione’s mouth as she gazed at her in drunken horror.

“Nothing! Be out in a sec.”

“Oh Merlin” Andromeda said and Tonks could hear the scowl in her voice. “Hurry up then. I don’t want to know.”

“Never would’ve picked you for a randy drunk” Tonks said quietly as they fixed their clothes and stumbled out of the loo, ignoring everyones amused looks and made their way down the road to the next pub to drink them out of beer. Tonks laughed loudly as Hermione tripped over the pavement and nearly fell onto the ground and caught her by the back of her shirt. “It’s nice not being the clumsy one.”

“Shut up” Hermione laughed. “How are you less clumsy drunk?”

“Haven’t the foggiest. It’s a delightful perk though” she said with a wink.

“I think you’re delightful” Hermione said, beaming at her. “I thought you were delightful the second you fell over in the hallway after you saved me from that big clock at Grimmauld Place.”

“We’ve come full circle” Tonks laughed as Hermione tripped up the step and smacked into Harry, collapsing to her knees before she rolled onto her back and looked up at Tonks from the ground. “Smooth.”

“Prat” Hermione said fondly. “Love you.”

“Love you too.”