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Bulletproof Love

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Victor Vincent Fuentes is the leader of Pierce The Veil, a huge, feared gang in Mexico. He's known to be brutal, cold, and heartless. The only people he loves are his family and his two close friends, Jaime and Tony. His gang is the most known in Mexico, but yet, no one can seem to catch them, or find their hide out. His parents were the leaders before him. He's also known to kill trespassers.

Kellin Quinn ran away from home due to reasons. He ran away scared, alone. He went from Michigan all the way to Mexico. He apparently stepped into a gang's land and was captured. That's where he meets their leader, Victor. And he's afraid at first glance. He does his best to avoid Victor, but that's kind of hard when he's forced you to sleep with him in his bed. Even if it is just sleep.

And everything was fine, until Kellin's past caught up to him.

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Chapter One:

I burst through the door, the cold, hard wood, bruising my skin. But I didn't care, I've had worse. I look over my shoulder and see his silhouette following after me. No! I pick up speed and turn on the all too familiar corner. I look back and see I was losing him. Why couldn't he just have stayed passed out after I hit him with the frying pan? I look back to my house, the one I was currently running from, and frowned.

The house with the front door wide open. The house with all my stuff that I didn't think about as I escaped him. After knocking him out, all I ran for was my book and left. Too bad he didn't stay passed out. I passed another block. I had the route memorized since I've been on this road one too many times. I trip, falling and hurt my knee. "No," I murmur, quietly. My voice strained from all the screaming. I start crawling and I gasp as I feel his arms wrap around me and he pulls me up in the air.

I fuss around in his arms and kick and punch at anything I can hit. No, I was so close. Then he drops me on the ground rather roughly. I hear a belt buckle coming undone and I tense up. I start trying to crawl away, but he grabs me from my thighs and pulls me back. He starts undoing my skinny jeans and I panic and kick out. I hit him square in the nose and he's knocked out again.

I buckle my pants and grab my book and run. Only a few more blocks. I look over my shoulder and I don't see him. My legs hurt from the running, but also from how he's grabbed me before all this happened. He got a good number of punches and kicks, and also hand prints. I shudder. His disgusting caresses on my skin. Trying to take advantage of me. I feel like vommiting. He made my skin crawl.

Run, Kellin, don't stop. Keep on running. I pushed my legs on, willing them to go faster. I kept looking over my shoulder to see if he was following, but didn't see anyone. I couldn't take that chance, though. I kept running on the familiar street, in the middle of the night. The Michigan chill nipping at whatever skin was exposed, which was my arms and bare feet. I keet panting and shivering.

My bare feet hitting the sharp and cold street. But I couldn't bring myself to care, I needed to keep running. I needed to escape. Tap, tap, tap, tap. That's all that I could think as I ran from nightmare. The noise my feet made against the ground. He was so close to taking the thing that is most precious to me. I barely got out alive. I shiver, remembering.

I cry remembering what he almost did to me. I cringe at the memory of him touching me. Oh, God. But it wills me to go faster. I see my breath in front of me as I pant, out of breath. I look around and see I was so close. The familiar street name coming into view. The lamp posts guiding me like a moth to a flame.

I ran until I saw my friend's house. I ran to the door and knocked away, probably waking him up. I pounded on the door. I kept looking over my shoulder as I waited for him to open up. Come on, open up. Please. I kept trembling as I looked over my shoulder, expecting him to appear. Until the door opened and I jumped into his arms. "Jesse, Jesse. Please, I need your help."

"Kellin, what's wrong? Why are you covered in blood," he asked me. "You know why. Please, Jesse, help me escape." I begged and he nodded and told me to shower and he'd bring me other things to wear. I walk into his bathroom and stare at myself in the mirror. My entire face was smeared with blood, I had blood running down my arms, and my clothes were sticking to me because of the blood. I'm going to miss this shirt. I remove it, along with everything else and step into the shower.

A knock on the door catches my attention. I half expected him to walk through, but then Jesse's voice rings out, "Kellin, I have the clothes. Can I come in?" I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist. "Yes." Then Jesse walks in. "Here. I also have a hot chocolate for you when you're finished getting ready." I nod.

"Thank you, Jesse."

"It's no problem, Kellin. I'm just glad you finally ran away." I smile - a small, tired smile - but a smile all the same. "Me too, Jesse." He smiles and walks out and I start getting ready. When I finish, I walk out. I reach the kitchen and Jesse was leaning against his counter. "Kellin, hear you go," and he hands me a cup.

We were drinking quietly when I hear, yelling coming from outside. I tense up and Jesse noticed. "Kellin, calm down, okay? I am going to get you out of here alive." I just nod at him. "Good," he says, firmly. He walks off only to come back with an over-sized hoody and Converse. I want my TOMs. I put them on, shakily. "Ok, now, we're going to get in my car and I'm going to drive you to the bus station and you're going to go far away. As far away as possible."

I look at him, tears filling my eyes. "But... Jesse, I don't want to leave you. You're my only friend. I love you." I see tears fill his eyes and he looks at me. "I know, Kellin. I don't want you to leave either, but this is for your safety. I need you to survive and live your life. For once, with no fear. I love you, too, Kellin. You're my best friend." I feel the tears pour out and Jesse hugs me to his chest. "I'm going to miss you, Jesse."

"Me too, Kellin." And he leans down and pecks my lips. I smile and kiss him back. His mouth devouring mine. He puts his hand at my waist and I put one on his shoulder and the other wrapped around to his back. He continued kissing me and he licked my bottom lip and I gave him entrance. He pulls me closer and pull him lower. We pull back and he smiles sadly, tears still glistening in his eyes. "Time to go."

He pulls the hood over my head and leads me out to his car, avoiding him. Jesse turned on the ignition and we were off. He sped off and I watched as I left everything I have ever known. I watched him and realized he didn't want to stop at red lights, he wanted me away from here as fast as possible. "I wanted your best friend to be your first kiss," I hear him say.

"I know, Jesse. I'm just glad it was you."

Then he stops and I realize that we'v reached the bus station. We ran to the line and since it was late, not many people were out. "I need a ticket for him. What's the farthest place you go," Jesse asks, urgently. The lady answers, "Mexico." And my jaw drops. "We'll take it." And he pays for my ticket. "Ok, your bus is boarding right now. You have ten minutes."

Jesse pulls me to the bus and I stumble behind him, unshed tears clouding my eyes. He doesn't stop until he sees my bus. The doors were open and I step in the first step. But I turn around peck Jesse's cheek. "Bye, Jesse. Thank you... for everything. You are the best best friend ever, better than I could have ever hoped for. I love you, so much. I'm going to miss you."

He smiles and the tears fall. "You're welcome, Kellin. You deserve to be happy. I'm just glad I got to help. I love you, too. And I'm going to miss you more." I laugh through my tears and hug him one last time. "Bye, Jesse."

"Bye, Kellin." And I board the bus and find my seat. I watch Jesse from my seat and he smiles at me. I smile back. "I love you," he mouthed. And I mouthed it back. When the bus rolls away, I wave. And so does he. And when he's out of view is when I look foward. "Bye, Jesse." And I know he's saying it back. Even if I can't hear him. Even he can't hear me.

Chapter Text

Chapter Two:

I wake up with a jerk and look around at my surroundings. Where am I? Then I remembered everything - I ran away, Jesse helped me, I left Michigan. I let out a shaky breath - I left to Mexico. Mexico. Outside of the country, I could leave anytime I wanted, I was a citizen, but... it's just so far. And though I'm not leaving much, I am leaving my home, my birth place, my good memories, and I'm leaving Jesse.

Jesse was the greatest friend I could ever ask for. He's been my friend since kindergarten when he saved me from some third grader that thought it'd be fun to push me off the swing I was. Jesse quickly came and punched the boy and helped my weak, bleeding self to go to the teacher. They took me to the nurse and the boy was expelled. After bandaging me up, I was better.

After that, he told me, "If anyone gives you trouble, just tell me." And I did, and that's how it was all through my school years. Up until we graduated college. He protected me from all the bullies and eventually they stopped altogether. I still glares, pushes, and muttered curses, but no one ever really did anything to me, well everyone except him.

When Jesse found out about him, he begged me to leave, to go live with him. But I declined, I didn't want to leave, I wasn't going to let him run me out of my home. But after Jesse found out, everytime I got hurt, I went to him. He helped me get through. He was my best friend, and though I did love him, I wasn't in love with him. The kiss was just us saying good bye, even if it was my first kiss. I'm just glad it was with Jesse.

I was never going to run away, but last night, he pushed it. He was going to take the only thing I held dear. He tried, but failed. And Jesse helped me escape. I was never going to go back to him. I knew I'd call Jesse every chance I got. But I only had the clothes on my back, my book, and a bit of money, at most 40 bucks. And I'm going to Mexico, and we don't even have the same currency. I didn't know Spanish, or anyone there. So I was screwed. What was Jesse thinking?

I panic thinking about how this was the worst decision ever, but Jesse was so dead set on getting me away from any dangers at home. But what about the dangers in Mexico? The law there wasn't as strict as the one here - people did drugs, shootings, rapes, and gangs. Oh, God, what was Jesse thinking?

I stare out the window to calm myself. Watching the trees past by in a blurry frenzy. I was leaving the United States, probably for a while.  Maybe forever. I wasn't leaving much behind, though. I had no friends, no family, and he certainly didn't want me. I was only leaving Jesse. And he's the one who forced me to leave. Not force, but beg. He wanted me as safe as possible. And that was as far away from him as possible.

I see we're entering Kansas and that we were going to have a pit stop. Everyone climbs off the bus except for a few others like myself that stayed. I had nothing to entertain myself with, so I was stuck with getting off the bus to use the restroom. When I finish, I look into the mirror. Everytime I look in the mirror, I look for someone else's face.

I walk out and board the bus. When it's moving again, I feel myself relax because even though I'm leaving everything I know, I realized I'm doing this for not only Jesse, but myself as well. I was saving myself from the abuse. This was for me, no for Jesse. I was living, not just surviving. Finally. I was going to live my life the way I want.


The bus stopped in Texas and I was getting very nervous. The closer we got to Mexico, the more terrified I became. I kept my book as close to me as possible, it had all my information and my lyrics as well. The closer I got to the border, the more fear ran through my veins. It was really happening. I was really leaving the country. I was really leaving him.

The bus pulled up to a stop and again some got off, some stayed on. I got off to buy food. I went to the McDonald's beside the pit stop and looked around. Texas was really different compared to Michigan. It was hotter here than up there. All you saw were palm trees. They had beaches here. The highways were different. At least I was in a tank top and skinny jeans with Converse, so it wasn't so bad for me. I wonder if they have TOMs in Mexico... Oh my, God, I'm so racist.

All around, I saw tan people, some hispanic, some white with tans. And I knew they were questioning why someone as young as me was on my own all the way over here. I was alone here. That was also a difference between Michigan and Texas - in Michigan I had someone, here I had no one. The worst difference between them, actually. When I finish eating, I went back to the bus. The drivers alternated, and we were off.

I held my breath as I saw the border up ahead. This was it. The drivers pulled over so the guards could check us, and when they finished, we went on our way. And when we pass the bridge, I look back to Texas. It was done. I was gone. I was no longer in the United States. I left.

I look at the bridge and I look at the river. I was no longer on United States soil. I can't believe I did it. I'd never see him again. I look at everyone on the bus, everyone was calm, I was not. Everyone here probably had a normal reason for going to Mexico. I didn't. Everyone was fine with going to Mexico. I wasn't. They probably had a family here. I don't. I was the odd one out, like always.

I look back the the United States and just stare. Good bye, America.

Chapter Text

Chapter Three:

The bus stops and I feel myself tensing up. It's actually happening, I actually left the United States. "Alright, everybody off. Todos vajense." I don't know what he said after that, but I got off the bus and as soon my feet touched the ground, I realized there was no going back. I was in Mexico.

I smile and laugh, I was in Mexico. This is all real. I was free. I was free... but alone. I look around and see nothing but buildings that are different from those in the U.S. of A. They were brown, with a pattern. They were beautiful. People were everywhere, walking. How was I going to communicate with anyone? Communicate? Commun... I have to call Jesse! I look around and see a woman around her mid-thirties. She seemed nice enough. Hopefully, she's as nice as she looks.

"Excuse me, ma'am," I say when I reach her. She turns to look at me. "Yes?"

"May I borrow your phone?"

"Sure, do you need to call to America?" I nod. She did something to it and then handed it to me. I smile and mumble a thank you to her. Then I'm pressing the numbers of Jesse's memorized number. I place the phone to my ear. "Hello?"

"Jesse! It's me, Kellin. I'm in Mexico."

"Kellin? Oh, Thank God. What's it like?"

"It's hot. But, Jesse, what were you thinking sending me here? I don't know the language, I don't have the currency, I don't have a place to stay!" I hesr him laughing on the other end. "Kellin, I have a friend in Mexico. I'll call him and tell him to pick you up. His name's Jack. Jack Fowler."

"Ok. Bye, Jesse." And then I hung up. I walked back to the lady, and handed her her phone, "Thank you, ma'am."

"No problem, sweetie. Bye." And when she left, I was truly alone in a foreign country. I walk to a bench and wait and wait and wait. I look around and see the sun going down. Where was this Jack guy? People were going into their homes and I was the loner still out. I should have stayed in Michigan.

I lay down on the bench and look up at the sky. There were millions of stars, that's something you didn't see in Michigan. One bonus to being here. I hear a few cars still out and I wonder why they aren't home with their families, cozy in their beds. I sigh. I've here two hours and still no Jack.

The wind starts blowing and it feels great in this heat. It blows my baggy tank top. I have to giggle a bit at that. I probably wouldn't be this skinny if it weren't for him. I love food and if it were to have been up to me, I'd probably be a fat hippo, but he loved to starve me. My skinny jeans were probably smaller than a girl's size.

I sit up and pout. I've had enough of waiting for someone that isn't going to show up. I get up on shaky legs and bite my lip, looking both ways. I didn't know where to go. I go a random direction and walk. Who knows, maybe I'll find a random motel and they'll be generous enough to give me a room for free. Yeah, right, Kellin. I sigh at myself. But I knew I was right, who would give me a free room.

I had been walking down the same road for who knows how long, and nothing, not one single hotel, just random buildings. And all of them seemed to be empty. Except for a few where I saw people watching me through cracks in the wall and through their windows. None of them seemed dangerous, they seem more scared than anything, but it made me so uncomfortable to be watched in such a matter.

I had my head down, hands in my pockets when I heard yelling, "Corré, no vayas para a ya. Estan a ya. Corré. Ve a casa! Escondase!" Now I had no idea what he was saying, but he looked so frightened, I kind of wished I understood him. I started trembling. Shit! He started running away and I first didn't understand why, but then.... I heard gun shots. Double shit! I hug my book close.

I went in another direction and kept walking. When the gun shots were light is when I knew I was going in a different direction. I had my head down, not wanting to attract attention to myself. My book was tucked inbetween my arm and pocket. The night air was nipping at my skin, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I didn't really have anything to live for anymore anyway.

I was walking past an alleyway when I heard yelling and I tensed up. It sounded like to mean arguing in Spanish. I scurry past the opening but then I bump into a garbage can and the arguing stops. Shit, shit, shit, shit! I hear footsteps coming and burst into a run. Will I ever stop running? "Ey, ven paca!" I sigh, Guess not.

I turn a corner and bump into someone. I look up and see he was holding a gun. He reaches down to grab me, but I escape his hold. I burst into another run and go in the opposite direction. I hear a gun shot and I feel a bullet past me. Are they serious?! I start running faster.

But then I felt arms wrap around my waist. I tense up, remembering that night. I feel a hand press a cloth to my face and I struggle against the hold. But it was no use. I felt myself losing conciousness, but before I  go out, I say, "Book, please." Then everything went black.


When I come around, I hear someone arguing. Kind of like what got me here in the first place. I look around and see I'm in some kind of holding cell, my wrists shackled to the wall behind and I was on my knees. My book was nowhere to be found and I panic. Where is it? They must've taken it. Shit! I look to the door and see two silhouettes on the other side by looking inbetween the metal bars.

"Estaba en nuestras tierras."


"¿Que voy a saber yo?"

"¿Es gringo?"

"Si, creó que esta perdido. Creó que el esta corriendo."

"¿Y porque dices eso?"

"Pues, tenia moretones."

"Esta bien, esperaremos a Victor entoneses."

"Ok. Cuando llega?"

"Mañana." That's all I hear. And who is this Victor they spoke of? I didn't have time to question life because then the door was opening and I tense up and look away out of fear. That and the light hurts my eyes. "Olle, ¿gringo, sabes español?" And I just stare at them confused. "What?"

"Mike, no creo que sabe."

"Eso lo se ahora. Alright, I guess we'll stick with English." And I'm surprised, he knew English? "Why are you here," he asked me. And I bite my lip, what would they do if I didn't answer. "Um, not to be mean or anything, but that's not really your business." And this Mike guy smirks. "You're lucky my brother isn't here because he won't care who you are, he'll get an answer out of you, one way or another." And my eyes widen.

"You have pretty eyes. Weird mixture between green, blue, and gray," and my eyes widen more and I feel my cheeks heating up. "T-Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now, I'll ask again, why are you here in Mexico, alone at night?" I didn't want to answer, but I was scared of what this Vic dude would do to get it out of me. "Um, I ran away, my friend bought me a ticket here and that's where I ended up."

"Why'd you run away?" I look at him, dead in the eye. "Alright, does it have to do with your bruises?" I just nod, that was all he was getting. "Ok. Well, tomorrow, Vic is coming in to talk to you and if I were you, I'd pray he go easy on me. Vic is... unpredictable, and ruthless." I bite my lip. Why me? When will I ever stop having to run away?

"Good night, Kellin." And my head snapped up to meet his amused gaze. He knew, he knew my name, but how? I feel myself getting more anxious as to how he discovered my name. It wasn't an easy or typical name, so he couldn't have guessed it.

"How do you know my name?"

"Your book, it has all your information." My book, they had it. They must've kept it. They did listen to my plea. "Can I have it?" I knew they were probably going to say no, but it was worth a try since it's not like I had a phone there anyway. "Sure, tomorrow I'll give it to you when Vic comes in to talk to you." I nod.

They leave and I'm left alone with my thoughts. Who is Vic? Who are they? Where am I? Why am I here? What were they talking about before coming in here? I need to learn Spanish. No, Kellin, stop. Don't let yourself get lost in your thoughts, nothing good comes from it. And I was right, last time I let myself get lost in my thoughts, it led me to self-harm. I regretted afterwards because that wasn't for me. I kind of hate myself, but not enough to do that.

I had to go to the hospital afterwards because I had cut to deep. The three scars were still there, reminding me of how weak I had been, of the harm I had caused myself, not him. I had felt like him because even though I wasn't causing harm to anyone else, I was causing harm to myself, so I swore never to do it again. And I haven't, no matter how tempting it is. I would not become like him.

I wonder what he's doing right now. Probably passed out drunk, but did he even notice I was gone. Sure he'd notice his punching bag was gone. I don't think he'd miss me as a person, more like someone he let's his anger out on. I guess that was better than nothing.

I watch the door, expecting someone to walk in. I had no idea what time it was. Days could have passed without me knowing. I should have asked Mike or that guy that was with him. Why didn't I? Oh, right, because I was intimidated by his tattoos and his height. And his scrutinizing brown eyes. Kellin Quinn, you are a wimp. I sigh, knowing I was right. So, I stayed and waited, not sleeping, but not awake either. Just there. I had to stay alert for anything. For all I know, they could be a cult.

And I don't know how many hours passed, or days, or whatever. But I hear commotion on the other side of the door. I hear yelling, arguing, and talking. "No lo mates, Vic."

"¿Por que no?" I hear an angry voice ask. It was so frightening. It sounded angry, annoyed, and exactly like the devil himself. "Porque es inocente. Solo estaba en el lugar equivocado en el momento equivocado." That sounded like Mike, and it seemed as though he was pleading.


"Victor, creo que te va a gustar. No mas miralo y me dices si todavia lo quieres matar."

"¿Por que?"

"Porque tiene unos ojos, una cara, unos labios, un cabello, una vos - " The other voice cuts him off. "¿Y por que no sales con el tu?"

"Porque yo ya tengo a alguien. No mas ve y miralo. Por favor, Victor." Nothing happens for a while, until the voice speaks again, "Esta bien." I hear shuffling and before I know it, the door to my cell is being opened, I flinch away from the light and then two silhouettes cover the light and I squint to look at them.

One of them was Mike, as I guessed, but the other I didn't recognize, but just looking at him and I wanted to crawl under a hole and hide. He scared me, he made my face pale, my hands sweat, my eyes look down. He didn't just scare me, he frightened me to no end. I feel his gaze on me and I felt like vomitting. "¿Sabe español?"

"No. Deberias enseñarle." I hear a grunt. Then after that, nothing. No noise, I hadn't looked up yet. Just stared at the ground. "¿Que dices entonces? ¿Vive o no?"

"No se, Mike, ni e mirado sus ojos. Pero... si es bello." He sounded hesitant in saying that. I have got to learn Spanish. "¿Como se llama?" The other said. "Kellin." I knew they were talking about me now. But what were they saying? Was it good or bad? "Hmmm. Kellin, look at me." And I wanted nothing more than to not, but I remembered what Mike told me. So, I did. I hear a small gasp, and I wanted to bring my gaze down again, but voted against it. "¿Ves, que te dije?" Mike said.

"Callate. Pero, si tiene unos ojos bellos, se mira inocente. Muy inocente."

"¿Que vas hacer con el?"

"Va ser mio." Then before I know it, Mike is unshackling the chains and I fall forward. He pulls me to my feet and leads me out of the cell. I rub my wrists involuntarily. "Mike?"

"Yeah," he asks, looking at me. "Can I have my book now?" He seemed shocked for a moment. "Yeah, we'll stop at my room to grab it." He leads through a maze of halls, turning left, right, right again, left. I felt dizzy. Finally, he stopped in front of a door and he walks in with me and I see him grab my book off a desk. "Here you go," he says, as he hands it to me. "Thank you."

We're in the halls again and he leads me to another building. I see people everywhere as we walk to the other building. He opens the doors with a key. "This is Vic's private house. No one but him is aloud in here unless he lets you in." I frown. "So, why are we here then?"

"Because he's aloud you in here." My frown deepens. "When?" Mike laughs and smiles at me. "When he said he'd make you his." And I freeze right there. "What?" Mike nods, "Yeah, he said he would make you his back at your cell. It was either that or dying." And I feel tears build up, will I never have freedom? I pull my arm out of Mike's grip.

"I'm not his. I'm not some object he can claim ownership over! I knew I should have stayed in Michigan." I mumble the last part, not expecting him to hear. "Then why didn't you?"

"Because I couldn't. Jesse wouldn't let me and I had nothing there, but a - I just had nothing there." Mike stares at me. "What were you going to say, Kellin," he asks. I shake my head. I kept my mouth in a firm line. He can't and wouldn't know. Then I feel it, it hurt and I heard the sound of skin on skin, loud. I was slapped. I was slapped. I look at Mike, mouth agape. How could he?

"You're lucky Vic wasn't here, or else that would've been much worse." I don't say anything as he pulls me along. I keep my gaze to the ground and don't stop until Mike pushes me through another door into a room. Looking at it, it looked like an extravagant room. It had a huge, plush bed, a chandelier, a fancy rug, long drawers. A couch, but no windows. "This will be your new room with Vic."

I wanted to question what he meant, but I was too hurt to do anything. What did I expect, though? Mike wasn't my friend, he was just there. But the fact that he slapped me hurt. I thought I was passed the abuse. Guess not. I must have done something terrible in my past life for having deserved to be treated like this.

"Wait here for Vic. Okay?" I do nothing to show I understand. I hear a huff and then I hear shuffling. He grabs my arms again, harder this time. I wince against his hold. " You will wait here for Vic. Okay?" I look up to meet his gaze. He didn't show any remorse, not that I expected him to, he certainly didn't. He glares and lets go of my arm. I hear him slam the door and I wince. I, then, hear him lock it and I sigh.There goes my plan of escaping.

I look at my arm and see a bruise forming. I, then, open a door and it was the bathroom. I look into the mirror and see the cheek he slapped was also growing a bruise. I guess my skin will never be blemish free. I was pathetic. A twenty-two year old not being able to defend himself. Pathetic. I walk out of the room and go sit on the bed. But before I knew it, I fell asleep.


I wake up to someone talking. "¿Por que le pegaste? Solo lo puedo tocar yo." It sounded like Vic. "Porque no me respondio."

"Eso no importa, Mike. No deberias haber tocado lo que es mio."

"¿Que esta haciendo ahora?"


"Bien, revisa su cuerpo y vas a ver que tiene mas moretones de los que yo le di."

"Dame un minuto." I feel someone raising my shirt and I sit and push their hand away. I open my eyes to see it was Vic. He was just staring at me. "Wh-What are you doing?" And after I ask, I couldn't meet his gaze, I look around and see Mike was also in the room. "Searching for bruises. Mike, get out." Mike gets up from the table he was leaning on. "Alright. Bye. Bye, Kellin." I don't respond.

"Lift your shirt," Vic commans after Mike leaves. My eyes snap to his. They were probably bigger than they usually are. "W-Why?" I stutter out and pull the blanket higher over me. Wait - blanket? I don't remember covering up. "I covered you up." I look at him, "Did I say it out loud?"

"No, but you were staring at it in confusion." I blush and let out a small, "Oh."

"No problem, now take off your shirt."


"I'm checking for bruises." I look at him. Why would he be looking for bruises. "Mikes says you have more bruises than the ones he gave you." I blush. "I, uh, I really don't want to take off my shirt," I mumble.

"Doesn't matter. I wasn't asking." I feel tears build up. But I disobeyed. I was not going to take off my shirt. Next thing I know, I was trapped between Vic and the bed. He had my wrists in one hand over my head and the other holding my face. "Listen, Kellin, I don't think you get it, but when I command you to do something, you do it. I don't care whether you want to or not. I own you, so you are mine. And I will not have a disobedient possession. So, I'm going to say this one more time, take off your shirt." But I don't.

He growls and yanks my shirt off and then my pants. I kick out and struggle against him. "No, no, Victor, stop. Please. Victor, no," I yell, tears streaming down my face. "Kellin," he yells. "If you don't stop, I will rape you, here and now." I immediately stop struggling, but the tears don't. When he's done, he left me in my underwear.  He sits up and looks at me. Then he rubs a hand over my chest and I push it away. He glares and holds my hands down with one of his and the other goes back to my chest. He rubs it over one of the bruises and I wince. He frowns at that. He, then, moves his hand lower and he glares when he sees the hand prints on my thighs.

"Who did this," he demands. I just shake my head. He glares, but continues with what he was doing. His hands skim over my visable ribs. And he ran his hand over every bruise and hand print. When he's done, he tells me to put my clothes back on. Which I do, with no complaints what so ever. But then he takes off his shirt and I look away, blushing.

"Kellin, look at me." I clench my eyes shut, but when I open them, I look at him. "Come closer." I take a hesitant step forward. He grabs my hand gently and I feel my blood run cold. His touch disgusts me. He skims my hand over his chest, and I clench my eyes, lone tears escaping. But then my hand runs over a wound and I open my eyes and stare at it in confusion. I take a step closer and bring my other hand over to it as well. I skim my finger nails over it and he grunts a bit.

"What happened?"

"Bullet wound. Got shot in a riot with an opponent gang." I feel my eyes widen at the news. "You're in a gang?" I feel him laugh against my hand. "I'm the leader of the gang. My gang is called Pierce The Veil in English." I nod and run my hand over his chest and find another wound. This time it was a long scar, this time on his abdomen instead of his shoulder like the bullet wound. "What about this one," I ask softly. "Knife skimmed past me, but it left that." That's how we spent the rest of the day, me finding a wound and him answering how he got it. My tears stopped around the forth wound.

When I find each single one, he puts on his shirt and leads me to the bed. My heart rate picks up, what is he doing? "Ground rules," he says, when we sit. "One: You listen to me. Two: You are not to leave this building unless I let you. Three: You are not aloud to be with anyone else intimately, but me," I blush at that. "Break them, and you will be punished. Questions?" I nod.

"Am I going to have to be with you intimately?" After asking, I bite my lip in anticipation. He looks at me, before speaking, "If you mean will I force you into anything, the answer is no, unless you force my hand and in that case, yes." I nod my understanding. "By the way, you'll be sleeping with me. Okay?" I nod. "Good, now it's late and it's time for bed. I'll get you something to wear." And he walks to one of the drawers. He pulls out a shirt and then walks back to me.

"Here." And he hands it to me. I grab it, but then I just sit there, waiting for him to turn around, or look away or something. "Well," he asks. I blush, "Can-Can you please turn around?" I look down, blushing, biting my lip. "Alright." And he does so. I get up and drop my skinny jeans to the ground. Then I remove my tank top replacing it with the shirt he gave me. "Um, do you have any shorts or pants I could wear," I ask. "Kellin, you'll be sleeping like that. I want you in the most unromantic way, but I won't force you into anything, so I will stay with just watching. Okay?" And I nod, even though I felt so exposed and naked.

He quickly changes afterwards and we get into bed. It really was a comfortable bed. After turning off the lights, I just lay there, wondering what happened to my life. I feel an arm skim over my thighs and wrap around my waist. Stupid hairless legs. I feel myself tense up and clench my eyes shut. My breathing stops and few tears escape, but then Vic removes his arm and I let out a breath. I grab my book from the side table and hold it close, scooting as far away from Vic as possible.

What has my life come to? And I cry myself to sleep not caring if Vic heard.

Chapter Text

Chapter Four:


"Oh, Kellin, did you really think you could escape me?" He chuckled darkly. "Now I have you and your little friend, what's his name? Jason or Justice or whatever." I gasp realizing who he had, "Jesse."

"Yeah, that's him." Then he lights up the room and points to a body and I see it's a bloody Jesse. He had blood running down his face, multiple stab wounds on his abdomen and chest area. He had gashes on his legs and blood was running down his legs and arms. "No, Jesse!" I start struggling against the shackles around my wrists - the restraints digging into my skin, drawing blood - but I couldn't get to him. "Jesse, Jesse, please answer me." I didn't get a reaction and that scared me. I let the tears fall and sobs fell from my lips. "Jesse, oh, Jesse."

"K-Kellin?" I gasp as I hear his voice and my head snaps up. "Jesse?"

"Kellin," he says, voice cracking. "Oh, my God, Jesse. Are you okay? How'd you get here?" Before Jesse could reply, he answers, "I brought him here obviously. You thought I wouldn't find out about him, but I did." I turn to glare at him darkly, why does he hate me so much? "What did I ever do to you? What did Jesse ever do? Why do you hate me so much?" I yell at him.

He laughs, a maniacal laugh and that scares me. "Because, Kellin, I just do. And don't think just because you ran off, I won't find you." And I'm confused now, didn't he already find me? But everything starts changing and instead of being shackled to the wall, I'm in Victor's room. And I'm tied to the bed. Will I ever be free?

He appears and he starts stroking my skin. I shiver in disgust and he smirks, probably thinking I enjoyed his touch. Yeah, right. His touch made my skin crawl, and not in a good way. He ran a hand through my hair and hums a tune. "You're so beautiful," he speaks. Then he runs a hand down my cheek. "Gorgeous." I turn my head away. His touch was much gentler than his, but I didn't welcome it.

He traces my nose and eye-brows and smiles, "Exquisite." He rubs his thumb around the shape of my eyes and his smile widens. "You have such large eyes, so wide and innocent. Full of life." He stops for a moment and just stares. I feel my cheeks darken. "Yes, and such an extravagant color. A mixture of blue, green, and gray. Unique." His hand goes lower until it reaches my lips and his rubs his thumb over my bottom lip.

"And the sexiest mouth. Such pink, and full lips. Sinful." He lowers his head until he's inches away and I tense up. "But you won't give me a chance." He pulls back. He unties me and I sit up. I look at him and he actually looks hurt. I lower my head in shame. "And I'm tired of waiting," and I look to see him holding a gun at me. And he pulls the trigger.


I sit up, gasping. I feel something at my abdomen and I immediately push it away. I stay panting and Vic wakes right after I push away his arm. I was clutching the sheets and my heart was beating rapidly. Sweat was coating me and I felt like crying. I feel him wrap his arms around me and I shake them off.

"What's wrong?" I shake my head and sob escaping past my lips. He tries again to comfort me through touch, but I don't welcome it. I feel his glare on me, but I don't care. I hope he doesn't know about Jesse. I don't know what I'd do if he hurt Jesse in any way.

I have to get back. I don't care what Jesse says, I needed to get back for him. I get out of bed in frenzy and look for my clothes. When I find them, I put them on, not caring if Vic saw or not. I needed to get back to Michigan. I grab my bookand walk outthe bedroom door. I had to get back to Jesse. I don't care if he found me as long as Jesse was safe, I'd be fine with it. I'd do anything for Jesse, he's done so much for me.

"Kellin! Kellin!" Oops, forgot about Victor. I was too lost in thought to worry about him when Jesse was my biggest worry. I kept walking, though. I needed to get out of here and back to Michigan. I was down the stairs before I knew it and I was half way to the door. But before I could turn the door handle, a hand pulls me back - roughly, I might add - and I come face to face with an angry Victor.

"Where do you think you are going," he demands and I flinch away at the tone, all too used to it now. I totally forgot Victor thinks he owns me. "I have to get back to Michigan," I say in strained and panicked tone. His glare intesifies. "No." I frown. "Yes. I have to get back. He's out there and Jesse is still over there and he might be in danger of being taken by him. And I can't let that happen. Jesse has done so much for me to deserve that kind of fate," I beg him. But his grip tightens and I shift, uncomfortably. "You're hurting me," I murmur, but his grip doesn't fade.

"You're not leaving," and he starts pulling me away from the door. I struggle against him until I get free. Then I back away, "I have to. Jesse could be in serious danger and with him out there.... shit. Please, I have to go."

"No. And who is this Jesse, anyway?" I look at him in confusion when I hear a bit of jealousy in his voice. Was he jealous? But we just met. "Jesse's my best friend. He's helped me through everything when I was hurt. He was the one to send me here, actually. He wanted me asfar away from Michigan as possible so that he couldn't hurt me anymore. I love Jesse more than anything in the world," I finish, and I'm begging him with my eyes to let me go.

He advances towards me and I back away until my back hits the wall. "You are not going and that is final." I flinch away and frown. "Why? Why can't you just let me leave? I'm trying to save someone's life here. A few days and I'll come back. I just need to make sure Jesse's okay. Maybe get him to leave Michigan or whatever, but he's in danger. Please."


"Please. Two days, I'll call, anything, just please." And then I felt it. He punched me. He punched me. I didn't fall down or anything, and not because it didn't have the force to do it because it did, but because I was so used to it. And that's what hurt the most. I thought Victor wouldn't stoop so low, but I was wrong. I turn to look at him. He stood there, glaring. No regret, no sympathy, no anything.

I let him lead me back to the room, let him change me. And let him put me to bed, and I was numb as he did it all. Oh, Jesse, I'm so sorry. When I'm positive Victor is asleep, I get out of bed. But turns out he wasn't. "Kellin, where are you going," he demands again. But I didn't flinch, I didn't feel fear, I didn't feel anything.

I slam the bathroom door shut and lock it. When I look in the mirror, I see a huge bruise forming over where Mike had hit me. I hear Victor banging on the door, but I don't unlock it. I feel tears forming. "Is this all I'll ever be good for? Being a human punching bag? That's all I've ever been," I tell myself. "I must have something wrong with me since every man I've encountered turns violent against me. Every single one has come out abusing me. Except Jesse."

I take off al my clothes and stare at my body. Stare at all the bruises, burns, cuts, lashes, everything. I was disgusting. "I'm disgusting." I vaguely hear Victor telling me to open up. I turn the showerhead on and gt in under, not even waiting for the water to get warm, but when it does, it was scorching, and I didn't care that it was burning my skin. I probably deserved that as well since I must deserve abuse. Yeah, I'm a bad person.

I don't know how long I stayed under the water, but I just sat there. But then I see it. A razor. I reach out to grab it, but then I stop when I'm a fingertip away. Sh-should I? I am a bad person. I frown. "Hey, should I cut myself," I call out Victor. I hear him bang harder on the door. "No! Kellin, open up this door!"

"Why not? I must be a bad person to deserve all this abuse. I probably deserve this too." He bangs harder on the door and I'm pretty sure he's going to break it. I turn back to razor and stare at it. I bring it to my wrist and hold it there. Should I do this? I bite my lip and press down on the skin, not enough to break it, though.

No. I shouldn't do this. I can't do this. I drop the razor and slide away from it. No. I quickly turn the shower head off and grab a towel. I put on my clothes and when I'm done, I stare at the door. Victor had stopped banging on it, he probably thought I was going to walk out now. No. I was still mad at him. I know it was just one punch - and I've had way worse - but it hurt because I thought I was done with the abuse. I did expect Victor to be strict and protective, but not abusive. I hadn't even tried him or broken a rule. The fact that he punch and not the punch itself is was hurt.

I'm staying in the bathroom, it was big and spacious, so I had room. I didn't need the bed, the carpet was nice and fluffy and I had towels to keep me warm. Yeah, I was fine in here. I slide down the door against the door and finally let myself my cry. Cry because I was kidnapped, because Jesse is far away, because he might be in danger, because everybody abuses me, and cry because I'll never be free. "I hate life," I mutter, bitterly.

After the water works finish, I go lay on the rug, grabbing three different towels and wrap them around me to keep me warm. I hear Victor's breathing on the other side of the door. I can just imagine what big of a punishment I'm going to get for not sleeping with him tonight. I shudder. I'll take any punishment as long as it didn't involve anything sexual. I can't handle that.

I close my eyes and dream.


The next time I wake up, I awake on the bed. I gasp and jump a bit. Was last night all a dream? I look to the bathroom and see the door wasn't broken, or gone, or anything, it was perfectly fine and present. Did I imagine the whole thing? I touch my face and flinch when I rubbed a certain cheek.

"I picked the lock and got you out," I hear and scream when I hear him. My head snaps to him. "You must have been tired too, because I made alot of noise and not once did you wake up." He was right, I was tired physically, mentally, and emotionally. My life right now has been nothing but chaos, and it's draining me.

"You hungry," he asks, taking a seat beside me and I subconciously move away. "No," I mumble. "You need to eat something. You haven't eaten since yesterday." Good, maybe I'll die of starvation and be as far away from you as possible. I gasp as he grabs my arm harshly. I whimper a bit. But he doesn't stop and he pulls me to the kitchen. What's gotten into him?

He sits me in a chair, roughly. And I wince. He storms into the kitchen comes back with pancakes. He slams them on the table and I yelp. "Eat and this way you won't die of starvation." Crap, had I said that aloud?! "Yes," he growls. Oops. "Now eat," he commands.

"But I'm not hungry," I mumble. "I don't care. Eat!" I flinch a bit and take a small bite. "There, I ate," I say, and push the plate. Even with that tiny bite, I wanted to throw up. He glares and gets out of his chair so fast it almost fell over. I jump and snap my gaze to his face. His face was full of nothing but rage.

He walks over to me, seething. Then he grabs another chair and slams it down next to me before sitting. I flinch away, but he grabs the pancake and cuts a piece off. I thought he was going to feed me, but then he brings the forkful to his lips and chews. I bring my gaze down, but then he grabs my chin, his touch bruising, and I wince, and slams our lips together.

I freeze, and I try struggling away. I feel tears forming, but then he parts my lips and he pushes the food in. He forces me to swallow and the urge to throw up is stronger. I feel the bile rising. He did the same thing again, I still struggle. But on the last bite, I knew the bile was going to.come out, but Victor wouldn't let go. He kept kissing me even after the food was gone. So I did the only thing I could think of.

I kneed him in the balls and I run away and I don't stop until I reach the bathroom. I purge into the toilet and all you can hear hecking and hacking. "Kellin," I hear Victor's angry voice ring out, but before I could reply, I had to throw up again. I hold my head over the toilet as I let it out. I groan, wanting it to stop. But, of course, it didn't and I had to throw up again.

After a while, it finally stopped. Victor stood there, glaring. "Sorry," I say. "But you wouldn't let me go. And I had to throw up." His glare softens a bit, but it was still cold. "What made you want to throw up?"

"The pancake," I mumble. And your kissing, I think bitterly. Then his glare intesifies. I blush, "Did I say that out loud?" He nods, glaring. "Do you really hate me that much after only knowing me two day," he questions, anger oozing from him. I lower my gaze not wanting to meet his angry stare. He grabs my arm and pulls me to the sink. He lets me wash myself and teeth.

"You know, it's too bad that you don't like me," he says, smirking. I look at him, confusion probably evident on my face. My eyes asking him why. "Because after feeling your lips today, I'm going to want to so it everyday." And to prove his point, he grabs my face and puts his lips against mine. My eyes widen and I star struggling against him, turning my head in another direction. But I couldn't get away since he placed his hands on my waist.

I was breathing heavily and my cheeks were on fire. He starts placing butterfly kisses on my exposed neck. I tense up and I pull back away so he couldn't reach my neck and so I could look at him, eyes wide. He was smirking down at me. "You're so innocent. Tell me, was I your first kiss?" And the way he asked it, he was so smug, thinking he actually was when he wasn't. And I wanted to crush his ego, so I told the truth.

"No." His smirk falls, but his hands tighten on my waist. It wasn't painful, just uncomfortable. "Who was your first," he asks, through gritted teeth. Is he jealous? Why is he getting jealous? "Jesse," I mumble, but he heard. His grip gets unbelievable tight and I knew I'd have more bruises. "Victor, you're hurting me." And his grip lessens, but when I look up, he had a look if pure bliss in his brown eyes. "Say my name."

"Victor." And I felt sick saying it this time, knowing it made him happy. "Call me Vic," he says and places his head in the crook of my neck. And I shiver at feeling his breath on my skin - and not in the good way. He pulls my waist closer to him. "Vic," I murmur, quietly. He breathes in my scent and I feel him smile against my neck.

"Again," he says, softly. "Vic," I whisper. He nips my skin and I jump, letting out a small squeal. He doesn't pull back, and I feel him shaking with laughter. "That's not funny, Vic," I mumble. His shakes harder, "You're right. It's hilarious." I pull back and pout, making my eyes bigger and my lips fuller. He pecks my lips and I pull back surprised. I hope this doesn't become a regular thing.

Chapter Text

Chapter Five:

"¿Le vas a decir?" I hear when I was walking to the kitchen. Sounded like Mike. I still haven't forgiven him for slapping me. What made those two brothers think they have the right to abuse me. I've had enough to last a life time. Why do they always have to speak Spanish?!

"No, claro que no. Solo va ser un dia, no creo que se va a preocupar," I hear Vic say, bitterly.

"Claro que te va a extrañar."

"No. El me odia. Le doy asco." Again, he sounded bitter and heartbroken. Wonder what he's saying.

"¿Y porque dices eso?"

"Por que lo bese y se vomito." I hear a squeal of excitment. "¿Lo besaste?"

"Si." I turn to look over the corner and see Mike jumping up and down like a girl at a One Direction concert. Ew, 1D. I've heard of few of their songs, some are good, some not so much. Wait, why am I talking about One Direction? Anyway, I go back to eavesdropping. "Hay, solo unos dias mas y el va estar enamorado de ti. Ya vas a ver."

"No creo que eso va a pasar. El me odia. Y le pege." I hear Mike gasp. "¿Le pegaste? ¿Porque?"

"Por que se quiso ir, y no lo deje, el se enojo, yo tambien. Y le pege. Tambien fueron celos. El quiso ir a ver su mejor amigo, Jesse creo que se llama." Jesse. Why are they talking about Jesse? Was he talking about that night when I was going to leave but he wouldn't let me? I was still mad at him for punching me. The bruise was fading, though.

"No e visto a Kellin en dias. ¿Donde esta?"

"En el cuarto. Todavia esta enojado conmigo y creo que contigo tambien."


"Por que esta arto del abuso. Creo que si lo abusaron en Michigan y por eso se fue."

"A ha. ¿Que te dije?"

"Callate. Dije que alomejor, no que si."

"Es la misma cosa. ¿Y cuando te vas?"

"En una semana." Then I hear shuffling and then I hear partings, followed  by the door being closed, so Mike must have left. I walk back into the bedroom and go lay on the bed. I was sprawled out, my mind was exhausted with all these secrets I'm keeping, secrets they're keeping. I need to learn Spanish, but I need a teacher. Hmmm, who to teach me? Definitely not Vic, neither Mike. But they were all I knew here. I need Vic to let me out more. How to convince him?

I can be nice, that's not hard... except when it comes to him. I can try to become his friend which is not hard... except when it comes to him. I can - wait, that's hard when it comes to him. Hmmm.... no, not that. Nor that.... or that. Yeah, I'm never getting out of here. Oh, well. It's better than anything with Vic... Do I really hate him that much?

I didn't get much time to think much on it because I'm snapped out of my daze when I feel someone's weight on me. I squeal a bit when someone squishes my waist. This someone turning out to be - no shock there - Vic. "What are you doing," I ask him. He smirks, "I could be asking you the same question."

"You wouldn't like my answer," I tell him, honestly. He adjusts himself and puts one knee between my legs - bent - to hold himself up and puts both hands beside both sides of my head. Now we were making eye-contact. My mixture of colors and his brown. I realized we're very different in physical appearance - race having most to do with it. I have light eyes, he has dark brown eyes; I have black hair, he has brown; I have pink lips, he has a darker shade; he has tan skin and I'm pale; he speaks Spanish, I don't; he has a temper, I don't.

We're polar opposites. We don't fit together, I don't know why he wants me. I'm not anything special. Maybe he wants me as a punching bag, he certainly did. I frown, remembering him. "What are thinking about now," Vic asks, concerned laced in his voice. I turn away, "Nothing," I murmur. He grabs my chin and turns my head to look at him. "Is it about the person who hurt you," he asks and I just stare at him before giving a slight nod. He sighs. "How about we go out to get your mind off things?"

"What do you mean 'go out'?"

"Leave the house and visit the rest of the gang." And I gape. This was my chance to learn Spanish. "Ok."


When he first unlocked the front door, I felt my freedom. When I first stepped outside in what feels like years - even though it's only been weeks - I felt the fresh air. I felt like I could run and never stop. And that's what I did. I knew I wasn't going to escape, but I just needed to feel free. And that's what I was, free now.

I stop at the fence surrounding the area and turn around and look. I see Vic was following me. He seemed mad, he was also following me. I smile and turn around to face the fence and I climb. "Kellin!" I hear him yell. I look back before I climb and jump over the fence, landing on my feet. I continue running, even in this hot weather. I didn't want to stop, couldn't stop.

I felt like Rapunzel in that Disney movie when she first left her tower. That's exactly how I felt. I wanted to run and never stop and then I see it. The tree. I stop in front of it. I stand there breathing heavily, looking at the tree, smiling. Then I grab onto the first branch and place my foot in the first crook, and climb.

I continue climbing until I reach the top, never feeling more free than I do in this moment. I didn't care how much trouble I'd get in with Vic, but as long as I was free for a moment, I was fine with it. I continue climbing, looking down every once in a while to see how far I've gone. I smile when I feel the wind blow my black hair in the wind.

This time when I look down, I see Vic at the bottom and I have to laugh at how mad and short he looks. "Hey, Vic," I call down. He glares and he starts yelling something I don't understand, so it was either in Spanish or I am to high up. I laugh and continue climbing until I reach the top. When I reach the top. I sit up and look around at everything. This place wad different from Michigan.

It didn't have as many trees, or sky scrapers. It was kind of like a desert, a few trees here and there. The roads were kind of cracked or just some dust roads. And then I see Vic's gang's hideout. It was a big land and it was like some kind of neighborhood. The biggest house in the middle was probably the house Vic lives in. I don't live with him, I'm a captive. That's all I'll ever be here.

I look down and see Vic still there. Mmmm, maybe I should go down now. I sigh, knowing I had to. I start climbing down, taking as long as possible. The longer I stayed away from Vic, the better. When I look down to see how far from the ground I was and see Vic looking at me, smirking, and his gaze not on my eyes. In fact, it was lower than my waist. Pervert, I'm pretty sure he's looking at my butt.

I keep climbing down until I'm a good distance away from the ground. Not too far up and not too low. I stop climbing down and look down at Vic. "Hey, Vic!" He looks up at me, my eyes this time. "Catch me," I call and I jump off. And I feel the wind blowing my hair to my face. If I were to hit the ground, I'd land on my back in the position I'm in. And when I felt I'd hit the ground, I landed in Vic's strong arms.

I look at him and smile. "I knew you'd catch me." Being outside made me happy, and I didn't hate Vic as much. Although, that didn't seem like it was Vic's thing, because even though he glare soften at my words, he was still mad. He places me on my feet gently. When I'm standing, he starts yelling, "What were you thinking? Was this your plan the whole time? To make me take you outside so you can runaway? And jumping off the tree? Are you crazy? You shouldn't have jumped over the fence, as soon as we leave my land, we're in danger!"

I flinch away from him. The yelling reminding me of him. "Vic..." I say, softly, but he kept ranting. "Vic," I try again, a little louder. I kept flinching and backing away until my body collided with the tree. "Vic," I say, scared. He finally noticed. "Kellin? What's wrong?" He scurries to me. "Vic, you were scaring me," I murmur, softly. "And I wasn't trying to escape, I knew it'd be useless, I just wanted to feel free since I'm trapped in the house. And I was excited to go outside because that's where I spent most of my time in Michigan. He didn't like me in the house, so I was either with Jesse or just outside. Plus, like I said, I knew you'd catch me."

Vic wraps an arm around my waist and holds me close. "I'll always be there to catch you." And for the first time in forever, I felt safe. And it was with Vic, so that was even more surprising. I let him hold me close because I didn't want the comfort to end. The only other person to hug me was Jesse, never anyone else because I didn't trust anyone else to not hurt me. I've been hurt so many times before. I don't know how many times I can take it before I break.

We were on our way back to the gang hideout, I had let go of Vic long ago. I felt awkward now, he probably thought I was starting to care. I mean I do, but only because Vic is a human being. When we reach the fence, I start climbing. Vic told me there was a door, but that's boring, so I stuck with climbing. He went with the door, chicken.

He was there before I jumped off the fence. "Are you going to catch me," I ask him. He smiles an actual smile, not his smirk, or creepy smile, but an actual warm smile. "Always." And I jump, only to land in his arms again. This time, instead of setting me down, he carries me around, against my wishes of wanting to walk. I knew my cheeks were dark, and they kept getting darker when someone looked at us in confusion.

Finally he stops and I thought it was because we reached the house, but when we enter, it looked different. So either we were in a totally different house, or Vic had someone redecorate in the time we were gone. I'm pretty sure it's the first one. "Where are we," I ask as he sets me down on the couch.

"Mike's house," and I give him a blank look. He sighs, "I know, I know. You don't like Mike, but I wanted to go out and visit him." It was my turn to sigh, but I nodded. I guess it wouldn't be so bad. "Where is Mike now," I ask, softly. Vic takes a seat next to me. "He's out with Tony." Like I'm supposed to know who that it, but I don't say anything. We didn't wait long before we heard the door open.

I hear stumbling before they appear into view. Their faces were really close, almost as if they were.... I feel my eyes widen. They were. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess they're dating. I turn away from the scene, my cheeks aflame. I hear Vic clear his throat, "You can look now," he whispers in my ear and I see the two break apart, sheepishly looking at us. They were also blushing.

"Hey, Vic. What are you guys doing here," Mike asks. "I came to visit, but I can see I'm interrupting... something."

"No, it's fine. What did you need?"

"Tengo que hablar del viaje contigo." Mike nods, getting serious. "Kellin, you go with Tony, okay," Vic asks. And I knew I had no choice, so I just nod. Tony smiles and pulls my arm outside the door away from the house. He didn't stop pulling my arm until we reached the edge of the...I'm just going to call it a town. So he didn't stop pulling my arm until we reached the edge of town.

"Hi, Kellin. I'm Tony." I smile, "Hi, Tony. I'm Kellin." He smiles back. "So, what's the deal with you and Vic," he asks, and I look at him confused. "What do you mean," I ask him. "Oh, come on. He's like totally in love with you..." I drone him out after that. Vic... in love with me? Already? That's bad, I don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't love him back. "... So, do you like or love him back?"

I bite my lip and lower my gaze. "... No... I can't stand him." He looks at me sympathetically. "Why?" I meet his eyes. "Because... he hit me. He's so possessive. He forces me to sleep with him. At least not sex, I'd probably commit suicide if he ever made me do that. I can't stand kissing me. He's kissed me and I threw up afterwards. He gets jealous when I mention, who may I just say, is my friend. Emphasis on friend."

He frowns, "That does sound like Vic," he mutters before speaking up, "Kellin, all I can tell you is give him time. Vic will learn to trust you, and you will love him. Maybe not in weeks, maybe not in months, maybe not even in years, but you will. And Vic will learn to trust you, just give it time. Be nicer to him. I'm not saying kiss him and pretend you love him, but try to be friends, yeah? It's not that hard. Sure, Vic is possessive and protective - Mike was the same when we first met - but he is sweet, and nice, and he can be gentle with you." And he was right, Vic was gentle with me. Especially when he carried me, or hugged me close at night.

"From the look on your face, I can see you know I'm right," I don't meet his eyes and he sighs. "Just give him time. You'll see I'm right." And I realized I can trust Tony. He didn't seem conceited, or manipulative, or evil. He seemed genuine, he probably tamed Mike. Would I be the one to do that with Vic? "Tony, can I trust you?"

He nods, "Of course." I smile and sigh in relief. "Do you know Spanish?" He nods. "Great. Can you teach me? And not tell Vic or Mike, please?" He seemed weary. "Why?"

"Because I feel like they're hiding stuff from me. And how can I live here without knowing the language what most people here speak?" He seemed to think it over, and in those minutes he thought, I felt like my whole life depended on what he answered. "Fine. I'll teach you." I squeal. "Really?"

"Yes. On one condition." I stop beaming. "What is it?" He gives me an apologetic look. "You give Vic a chance." And I frown. "Nevermind. I can live without knowing Spanish." And here, I thought he was different. That I could actually trust him. That he wouldn't blackmail me. I start walking away. "Do you really hate Vic that much," he asks me when he turns me around to face him. I stare him dead in eye, making sure he knows there is no hesitance in my answer. "You know I do."

He doesn't stop me as I walk away. Didn't stop and make sure I was running away. This was my chance, I could run away and no one would know until it was too late. I could do it, now. I stop walking and look around. No one was around except for random people that didn't know me and I didn't know them. I start speed walking towards the house.

Vic was probably still at Mike's house, so I run upstairs. I open the bedroom door and run to my book. I check to make sure I have everything in it - passport, I.D., and my lyrics on the pages. When I confirm I have everything, I yank it to my chest, then I run downstairs and out the door. When I was in front of the yard, I see Vic and Mike heading to the house. Shit! I run to behind the house and jump over the small fence surrounding it. Then I start running to the edge of town.

When I reach the edge, I start climbing and when I jump over the fence, I look back one more time. And I start running, the heat killing me, the trees scratching at any open skin. But I had to do this. As long as I was away from all this gang business. I didn't even want to be here. I should have stayed in the United States. Stupid Jesse.

I run for what felt like I ran miles when I reached the city. Yes. I run into a store and go into their bathrooms. I look into the mirror and wash my face and arms. If only I had hair dye. But I couldn't stay long enough to buy some. I needed to get away from here. I'm going back to the U.S. I need to call Jesse and tell first. Not now, though. I run out of the bathroom, book in hand. I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me.

I wonder how long it'll take for them to realize I'm gone. I feel bad for Tony, though, what if he got in trouble even when it wasn't his fault. He just didn't check on me. I can't of this right now. I know, it seems selfish. But sometimes, you have to care for only yourself. Hopefully  they won't realize for a while. I just hope I don't underestimate how much power Pierce The Veil has.

I grab a bus and take it to the border. I need to get as far away as possible. I'll get Jesse when I get to the other side. The bus stops and I get off at the border. I run to the entrance of the building of where they check my passport. The line was long and I was stressing. No, no, no, no. Why me?! I sigh and tap my foot anxiously. Come on, hurry up.

When I look back to see if Vic or anyone from the gang was behind me. But there was like a hundred people already in line. Thank God. I look in front of me and I had like ten more people to go. Yes. Now, please hurry. I've been in this line for five hours and I still haven't reached the borderline. How has Vic not noticed I'm gone? From looking out the windows, I can tell the sun is setting. It was getting late and I was still so close to leaving, but yet so far away.

I see I had one more person to go before I gave them my passport. I waited those horrible moments that seemed to drag until they called me. Yes! I hand them my passport. They check me and then my picture. "Do you have anything from Mexico that you are taking with you," he asks me. I shake my head, "No." He nods. "Alright. You may pass." And I did and I felt the weight on my shoulders leave.

I walk down the hallway and I land where I have to place my belongings in that machine. The guard checks me for weapons and then hands me my notebook. I keep walking until I pass those doors of the building. I walk until I cross the border. I didn't run to not draw attention to myself. I didn't want to seem suspicious. I walk across the bridge, looking at the Rio Grande. And when I step of the bridge onto actual land, I knew I was free.

Chapter Text

Chapter Six: Vic


"What do you mean - he's gone?!" I yell at Tony. Tony flinches. We were currently in my study. Tony and Mike were in front of me. Mike was standing and Tony was sitting. Tony looked afraid and I didn't blame him. I was beyond furious. How could he let Kellin just leave? I mean, I know it's dangerous to leave the head quarters, but seriously? I glare at Tony.

"Um, exactly what I'm saying. He's gone. I saw him climb over the fence, but I couldn't leave - " I cut him off with a back slap. Mike immediately steps up. "Okay," he snaps. "I know you're really upset about Kellin leaving, but do not take your anger out on Tony," Mike yells.

"Oh, you're so lucky your love is still here! Meanwhile, my love just left!" I yell at Mike. Tony speaks up, "See, that's the thing, Vic. He doesn't love you. He told me that before he walked away. He said that he could never love you - " I cut him off. "Shut up!"

"No! Let me finish. You need to hear this. He asked me if I could teach him Spanish. I said I would if gave you a chance. Do you know what he told me?" I wait for him to continue. "He said he could live without knowing Spanish." And that hurt. It hurt a lot. Stupid Kellin. Why does he hurt me this bad? How come no one else can? Why him?

"Then I asked him if he really hated you that much." I didn't want to hear this. I didn't need to hear this. I lower my gaze, I can't do this. "He told me, 'You know I do.'" And I run out of there. I vaguely hear Mike comforting Tony. Kellin, why'd you have to leave? Why couldn't you love me? Why do you hate me so much?

I run to the edge of Pierce The Veil. This is where Kellin left. I remember first discovering Kellin was leaving. I was with Mike. "Ya esta. Me voy en una semana."

"¿Y Kellin?"

"Se va a quedar contigo."

"Ok. ¿A quien vas a ver?"

"A Of Mice and Men. Tengo que hablar con Austin. Y luego tengo que hablar con Sleeping With Sirens de los estados unidos, tiene un amigo aqui, Jack, creo que es, que va hablar conmigo porque JLaw no pudo venir y vamos ir juntos a hablar con JLaw en los estados unidos. Y no pudo venir el porque dijo que tenia algo serio pasando."

"Hay, que bueno yo no soy el jefe de Pierce The Veil."

"Ja, ja. Tan chistoso. Pero enserio, tengo que hablar con ellos pa no tener guerra con niguno. So que viene Jack el sabado y me voy con el a America, y me voy a hablar con Austin el viernes que sige."

"¿Crees que si vamos ir a guerra?"

"No. Yo tengo el gang mas grande, no creo que van a tomar esa chancé. Y me voy a llevar a Jaime."

"Ok. ¿Y hablando de Jaime, donde esta?"

"Conociendolo a el, en la casa de prostitutas. Y tengo que ir a ver a Kellin, so que vamos a mi casa." Then we got up and started walking to my house. When we stopped in front of my house, I saw a silhouette run away, but I ignored it, thinking it was my imagination. I should have known it was Kellin. Why didn't I chase after it?

I knock over a book shelf. I start trashing the whole room in anger, regret, and despair. When I finish, I look around at the damage of my library. No wonder Kellin left, for who could ever learn to love a beast?



I was currently in a hotel in Texas and I was using the phone to call Jesse. But he wouldn't answer, "Come on, come on," I mumble into the phone. Finally, he answers, "Hello."

"Jesse! Jesse! I'm in the United States - " he cuts me off. "What?! Kellin, it's not safe for you here? He's looking for you! What state are you in?"

"Texas," I mumble. "Ok. I'll send someone for you - " this time I cut him off. "Are you sure they're coming this time because that Jack guy never showed and I got captured by some gang!"


"Yeah. The stupid leader kept kissing me and saying I was his. He even punched me and his brother slapped me!" I feel my bottom lip wobble at those memories. I clench my eyes shut, no, I will not cry. "Shit. You're right, I'll come for you myself. But I'm going to have guests in a week, okay?"

"Ok. When are you coming?"

"Tomorrow. I'm taking a plane. I'll buy my ticket now. What address are you on?" I check the brochure of the motel before giving it to him. "Ok, Kellin, I'll be there tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too," I mumble before hanging up. And getting into bed. I can't wait for Jesse to get here. I go to sleep, smiling.


I awake to knocking on my door. For a moment, I forget where I am and I think I'm still with Vic. I look around, cautiously. It didn't look like Vic's room. I get out of bed, tentatively. Looking around I realize I'm in the hotel room. The knocking on the door starts again. And I look at it in fear. Has Vic found me already?

Then I hear his voice, "Kellin, are you awake? It's me, Jesse." I run to the door and open it. When I see it's Jesse, I jump into his arms. "Jesse," I breathe. "Kellin," he mumbles into my neck. I had my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck, my head buried deep in the crook of it. "Jesse, I've missed you so much." He hugs me tighter. "I've missed you more and I wanted nothing more than for you to come back, but he was after you. He was knocking on everyone's door. He's angry and I'm afraid of what he'll do if he finds you."

I shake my head. "I don't care, I just needed to get away from that stupid gang leader." I dig my head deeper into his neck and inhale his scent. I've missed Jesse so much, Vic never letting me see him made me miss him even more. "What did he do to you?"

"He punched me, his brother slapped me, and gripped my arm until I had bruises, he made me sleep with him, literally, he kept me trapped inside his house, he kissed me," I mumble. Jesse's grip tightens and I don't mind, I felt safe in his firm grip. Made me feel like someone actually cared about me. "Did he ever rape you?" I shake my head, "No, just kissed me a lot. And he stripped me to my underwear, but only to see my bruises, even though, he caused some later himself."

He sighs and kisses my neck, softly. "It's okay. You're safe now. I'm sorry I sent you to Mexico, but I was desperate to keep you safe." I loosen my grip to look at him. "It's okay, Jesse. I know you were just trying to protect me, and I'm so grateful for that. I'm just glad to be away from him and the gang leader." Jesse nods and hugs me closer again.

We stay quiet for a while, just basking in each other's presence. I haven't seen Jesse in days. "When are we leaving," I ask him. He doesn't pull back as he answers. "Now. Grab your notebook." I legs from his waist and unravel my arms from his neck and do as he says. I grab my notebook off the table and put on my shoes. He pulls my hand gently and we walk out the hotel room. "Kellin, in a week, I'll be having company, okay?" I nod, he smiles and pulls us onward.

When we get outside, he catches a cab and tells him to drive us to the airport. When we get to the airport, we go through the metal detectors, but since we didn't have luggage, after that, they let us through. Jesse goes pays for our tickets, and even though, I didn't want him to, he was rich, so he could afford it. Then we're on our way to our plane.

We take our seats and the lady on the intercom says it'll take at most three hours. I get comfortable and just stare ahead, not really staring, just seeing. But eventually I got sleepy, so I laid my head on Jesse's shoulder. And right before I go to sleep, I see Jesse take out his phone and on his phone I saw the name Jack, and as I soon as I fell asleep is the moment he pressed call.


When I awake, Jesse tells me we've reached our destination. I grab my notebook and we walk off the plane. As soon as we walk out of the airport is when the Michigan chill hits me causing me shiver and goosebumps to rise on my skin. Jesse noticed. "Are you cold," he asks and I nod. He takes off his jacket and hands it to me. I should have brought a sweater. I take it and wrap it around my shoulders, not really putting it on. I had one hand holding my notebook, firmly against my chest and the other clasped in Jesse's.

He leads us to his car that he left overnight. He turns the heaters on and he drives off. After a while, I see the all too familiar street and then Jesse's house appears. He parks in his drive way, and he grabs my notebook before walking to my door and opening it for me. Jesse was the only one I trusted with notebook. He leads us to his mansion of a house and we enter the house that I have been in one too many times.

"Kellin, do you want to sleep with me or in the guest room?" And I bite my lip as I contemplate the idea. I didn't like sleeping with Vic, but this was Jesse, I trusted him. I don't like sleeping alone either. "Can I sleep with you," I ask. He smiles and nods and leads us down the hallway that I have been down too many times. He opens his bedroom door and lets me in first.

I place my notebook down on the table beside the bed. "We'll go shopping tomorrow for clothes for you since your clothes is at his house," and I sigh as he says his. It was my house, but now it's his, my stuff was just there. That was my house, that was my home, but it isn't anymore. "Okay," I say. "I'm still worried he'll find me and hurt you," I mumble.

"I'm scared he'll find you as well. But let's not worry, for now, you're safe." And I nod. Jesse's right, I am safe. Away from him and away from Vic.


Jesse had called me for dinner, after I had gotten the chance to get comfortable, although it wasn't hard since I have been here many times. For crying out loud, this was Jesse. My best friend. I trusted him with all my being. It wouldn't take long for me to get comfortable at his house since I know he'd never do anything to make me uncomfortable. He never kept secrets from me and I never kept secrets from him. If I were to find out that Jesse kept secrets from me, I'd be crushed.

I walk down the stairs and before I reach the kitchen and I hear voices that aren't Jesse's. I knew Jesse had other friends besides me, but I never met any of them. I didn't do well with new people, I didn't trust people. I didn't trust anyone, but Jesse. I stay frozen for a while until I finally move my feet.

When I first walk in, I see Jesse and two boys that I've never seen before in my life. I walk in quietly, so that they don't notice me. I just stood there awkwardly. Jesse was the first to notice me. "Kellin," I just give them a small smile and a tiny wave. "These are two of my friends, Justin," he says, gesturing to a boy with light brown hair. He was cute. "And this is Gabe," he says, gesturing to the other.

"So this is the famous Kellin? I'm so glad to finally meet you. Jesse talks about you all the time," Justin says, as he comes to hug me. "Although, you are shorter than I imagined." And I blush at that. "Aw, he's so adorable," Gabe says, and I feel my cheeks darken. "Guys, stop. I told you that Kellin blushes easily not so you could make it happen," Jesse comes to my rescue.

"Alright, we'll stop. Bur seriously, it really is great to meet you." I smile, "Nice to meet you too."

"Yeah, but Justin wasn't kidding when he said that you were all Jesse talked about." I laugh. "Yeah, yeah. Now, I promised these idiots food, so go grab one of my sweaters, Kellin, we're going out." I nod and walk out of the kitchen to one of the hallway closets. I grab a random sweater and start walking back to the kitchen, but stop arrupt when I hear a conversation.

"Promise me you'll watch him closely, he's still out there and I don't want Kellin getting hurt," I hear Jesse say, and it didn't sound like a plea - even though, it did look like it through wording - it sounded more like a command. "We will," I hear Gabe reply. "Thanks, guys. Now come on, Kellin must be ready by now." And then I run, realizing what that meant. Then I stop and turn around, pretending like I'm walking to the kitchen.

"Hey, Kellin, you ready to go," Jesse asks me and I nod. We walk out of the house and to Jesse's car. I get in shot gun and Justin and Jack got the back. When Jesse drives out of his driveway is when we start talking, and by we, I mean Justin, Gabe, and Jesse. "So, where are we going," Jesse asks.

"I'm kind of in the food for Mexican, what about you, Gabe," and I tense up, thinking of Vic, but then I calm down remembering I am far away from him. "I kind of want Chinese, what about you, Kellin?" And I bite my lip, "I'm fine with anything." They start arguing over where we should go and I just sit there, awkwardly. I see Jesse sigh and shake his head. Then he starts driving as if he had an idea or place in my mind. "Where are we going," I ask him, quietly. Not wanting Justin or Gabe to hear, not like they would anyway.

"Italian." And I nod. Justin and Gabe argue the whole way to the resturaunt and only stop when they see the car's stopped. "Congratulations, we're eating Italian," Jesse tells them. They look at each other, then at Jesse, then at the resturaunt, then at each other, before shrugging. "Okay," and we all get out.

When we enter, we wait to be seated. When we finally get seated, I sit beside Jesse, and Justin and Gabe sit beside each other. I'm going to order cheese stuffed ravioli, I think as I look over the menu. My mouth was in a straight line, it's been a while since I've eaten out. "Jesse," I mumble, "What are you getting?"

"Not sure, maybe a lasagna. What about for a drink? What are you getting?" He asks, turning to look at me.

"Well, for a drink, maybe a pink lemonade, and I think the cheese ravioli." I say, gesturing to the picture as well. "Hmm. Good choice," and as soon as he said that, the waiter comes by. "Evening, gentlemen, what can I get you for drinks?" And I give him my answer last. "Alright. Are you ready to order, or do you need more time?" We all look at each other, mumbling that we know what we're getting. "We're ready to order," Jesse says. And we give our orders, me last again.

Then we start talking about how Jesse and I met, how they - Gabe and Justin - met. I found myself laughing a lot, it's been a while. And even though, we were enjoying ourselves, the food was taking forever. "Oh, my fucking God, where is the God damn food," Justin says, slamming his head on the table. And I let out a small laugh. "It's okay, Justin," I say, and it was okay. For once, it was okay.



I throw the empty glass to at the wall, watching and hearing it shatter. I grab the bottle of booze and drink from it, not caring that some dropped and spilled onto my clothes. I stumble around the study and trip over a chair. "Ugh," I groan in pain. Then I get on my hands and knees and struggle to get up. Stupid, drunk mind. I kept falling and face-planting.

I finally get up and I stumble down the hallway, towards my bedroom. It was mine again because it's not Kellin's or ours anymore. Not since he left. Two days, it's been two days. Two days since he left. I missed him - his soft, black hair; his cute, little button nose; his beautiful, bruised, and mistreated body; his thick, luscious pink lips; and most of all, his huge, innocent, blue-green-gray eyes. They were full of color, not just one simple shade, they are mixtures.

I reach my room and try to open the door, but the door knob was so slippery or I was just very drunk. I take a swig from the bottle and finally get the door open. Success. I stumble inside my room, knocking things over in the process. I kick my shoes somewhere, hearing them knock something over. My house was probably a mess.

I reach my bed and sit on it before taking another gulp from the bottle. I just sit there, staring into space and drinking. I was probably going ro regret it in the morning, but for now, I'll drink away my pain. I finish the bottle and grab another one from my night stand. I take a gulp from the alcoholic drink. I didn't know what it was and I didn't care.

After a few hours, I had drank like 20 bottles and that was around the time, Mike came around. I was walking around the house, yelling for Kellin. "Kellin, Kellin! Where are you? Why aren't you home," I yell in despair. No reply. "Kellin! Come out now!" Still nothing. Then I hear knocking, but why would Kellin knock, he lives here. He isn't my prisoner. "Vic, open up, it's Mike." And I ignore it now knowing who it is.

"¿Vic, Vic, donde estas?" I hear him call. I guess he let himself in. He's lucky he's family or else I would have killed him. Kellin probably wouldn't have liked it if I did do that, but he wasn't here at the moment. I didn't reply. I'll wait for him to find me because I wasn't going to do anything today, but sit and drink my sorrows away.

"¡Vic, que diablos estas haciendo!" He yells at me, and I glare. "¿Que crees? Estoy tomando." He sighs and takes the bottle from me. "I know what you're doing, what I'm is why." And I take the bottle back from him and take three gulps before it takes it from my grip again. "Vic, how many have you drank?"

"Eh," I say, and think about it. "More than ten. Like twenty." I say, smiling. He sighs, "Hay, Vic. You need to stop."

"What's the point? When I'm sober, I feel pain."

"I know. But we'll find Kellin. Now let's get you to bed," he says, and starts leading me to my bed. He lays me down and closes my door. And in that bed, I can't help but notice how big and empty it feels. But I manage to fall asleep... with great effort, though.

Chapter Text

Chapter Seven: Kellin


I've been living with Jesse for a full week now. And I've never been happier. Jesse's house was now my home, although, the only thing that bothered me was there was always someone here. Whether it be Justin, Gabe, or any other random person, someone was always here. Jesse and that one person always seemed to be having important conversations and as soon as I was within hearing range, the conversation stopped. They probably think I don't notice, but I do. And it hurts a lot because Jesse was hiding something from me, his best friend.

In the past week, I've heard vague mentions of the word drugs, shootings, killing, and gangs. And I hope to God they were talking about a video game or something on the news. I always tried listening in, but it seems as if they always know when I'm around and quiet down. It's driving me crazy. What is Jesse hiding from me?

I was currently in our room, writing in my journal. I was writing lyrics since I haven't done that in a while. "Hey, I know it hurts to watch me leave, but even if it ain't so, how could you ever replace me?" I sing. "Yes, that was good," I say to myself and write it down. I spent a whole hour writing that song and I decided to name it Postcards and Polaroids. How I pictured this song, it had a lot of extending words.

Now, I was writing another song. "Hmmm. How to begin it?" I hum to myself, I had the chorus down, I just needed the verses and bridge. "Met a girl at seventeen, thought she meant the world to me, so I gave her everything, she turned out to be a cheat. That works..... said she'd been thinking for a long time, and she found somebody new. I'd been thinking that this whole time," and I stop singing.

How to continue this song? I've never experienced heartbreak, only because I've never dated. I was always the weird kid in school with no friends except Jesse. Maybe I could imagine Jesse leaving and write about that. Hmmm. "Well, I never thought you'd stay, that's okay. I hope he takes your heart.... no, I need an adjective." I sit there pondering on what to write. The beat didn't work without a two syllable adjective. Hmmm, dirty? No, ugly? No, filthy? I hope he takes your filthy heart and then he throws you away some day? Yes! I test it out and it worked.

"Ok. Before you go," I sing, extending the 'o.' "There's one you ought to know, if you can't hang, then there's the door, baby. If you can't then, there's the door, baby. If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby. If you can't hang then, there's the door." Yes! I got the first verse! I start singing the chorus. "I," I sing, holding it. "don't want to take your precious. 'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face. But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time. I don't want to take up all your time. 'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face. But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time," I sing, having the whole chorus planned out and happy with it.

I immediately start writing down all my progress, excited at how well it was going. I've finished one song and I'm currently working on another. After I finish writing it down, I start thinking of more lyrics. "You're the worst type... no. You're the low-lowest! You're the lowest type, you're the lowest. Yes!" I hurridly write it down.

I spent most of my time trying to figure out the second verse. But I finally got it, and my favorite part had to be I hope Mr. Right puts up with all the bullshit that you do, Stay the hell away, While I sit here by myself, And figure out how I got this way. When I finished the song, I contemplated whether or not I should write another, but I voted against it. I've already written two, I can write more tomorrow.

I put my book away and go find Jesse. I searched every room, even the bathrooms, but I didn't find him. I walked by the kitchen and I finally saw him. "Jesse," I say. He turns to look at me. "Kellin, where have you been?"

"Our room, writing. What about you? I was looking for you," I say as I jump into his arms. Him catching me, like always. Just like Vic said he'd do, but he isn't here to do it. I smile at that thought. I'm far away from Vic, and I've never been happier. "I was out. I just got back. What songs did you write?"

"The first one is Postcards and Polaroids and the other is If You Can't Hang," I answer him. "How do they go?"

"Let's go to our room first," and he carries me there. When we get there, he lays me on the bed and I crawl on my knees to my book on the table beside the bed. I turn to If You Can't Hang first because I'm more proud of that one. I open up that page and clear my throat before singing. Jesse just laid there on the bed, listening to me, as I straddled his waist.
When I finish, he smiles up at me and claps. "I love hearing you sing," he says, sitting up with me on his lap, so now I was taller than him and I looked down at him. "I know," I say, smiling. "Now sing me the other one." I nod and turn to that page. I start singing the lyrics and as I get louder, he smiles. When I finish, he hugs me close and the lays us down, me sprawled on his body.

"You have a gift, Kells," he says, using the nickname he gave me. I smile, "Thanks, JLaw," I say, using the nickname I gave him. We lay there for what seems forever, but it wasn't anything new with us. We always do things like this. "Jesse, when are your visiters coming," I ask. he frowns and checks his watch, "About another hour or so, it's only four in the afternoon, they should be here by five." I nod, I had an hour with Jesse.

"You want to go out for lunch," he asks me and I nod since I haven't eaten since the moment I woke up which was nine. Too early. I climb off him and put on my TOMs that Jesse bought sometime this week. I was currently in shorts. Except they used to be skinny jeans, but I cut them to make them into shorts, so they hug my legs and butt. And I had a tank top on.

He leads me downstairs, and when we open the door, I'm glad I'm wearing shorts because it was hot day. Really hot for Michigan. We walk to his car and when we're on the road is whe he asks me what I want. "Um, I'm not sure. Maybe Chinese this time," and he nods before going into the correct exit.

We get off the car when we reach the resturaunt and enter. The lady in the front asks us how many and then leads us to a table. I don't get why resturaunts do that. They can obviously see it was just the two of us, maybe when it's a big family they should ask, but not when they clearly see how many there are in total.

The waitress asks what we want to drink and I answer with a Coke, Jesse got a Sprite. We get up from our table when she brings our drinks and grab our plates since this place was a buffet. When I finish filling my plate, avoiding the salad and anything with pickles because I hate those. Jesse knows, I always complain when he brings me a burger with pickles.

I sit at our table, seeing Jesse already there. I look at his food and see he had a salad on the side and I stick out my tongue, and scruntched my face. "Ew," I say. And he laughs, knowing exactly why I said that. I grab my fork and sit a piece of sweet and sour chicken in my mouth.  Mmm, chicken. I eat all of it first since it's the best.

When I finish it, I start on my shrimp lo mein. What can I say? I'm a fatty. I will anything unhealthy. I can't stand healthy food, it's so gross, especially salad. Then I start eating my spicy tangerine chicken. When I finish that, I eat my sushi, and I could have moaned at the taste. Sushi was the best, hands down.

When we finish eating, Jesse pays the bill and we're on our way back to the house. I wanted to get a job because I didn't want Jesse wasting his money on me. But he says I didn't have to and it'd be too dangerous with him snooping around trying to find me. I relunctantly agreed because he was right, but I felt bad that he was spending money on me when I had the ability to work.

I walk inside and place my TOMs on the side of the door. Jesse did the same and I walk to the couch. "Ugh, I'm so full," as I spawled out on it.

"Well, who told you to eat a two whole plates and desert," Jesse says, kicking my legs off the couch so he had room to sit. "Shut up, Jesse, can't you see I'm in pain?" He rolls his eyes at me and I giggle, I loved messing with Jesse. We just sat there, lazing around until we heard the doorbell ring. Oh, Jesse's guests are here. Jesse gets up to open it and I stop him before he can. "Wait, Jesse, let run away first," I say and climb the stairs faster than I ever have.

I didn't like meeting new people. I close the door and lock it. Okay, I was stuck in the room. How long were they staying for anyway? Damn it, I should have asked. I groan inwardly at my bad luck. Why did this have to happen to me? I place my ear against the door, and I vaguely heard talking. Either they were talking really loudly, or they were closer than I thought. Hopefully it's the first one.

I walk away from the door and bump into the couch in the room, almost knocking it over. Kellin, you need to calm down. You're shaking, calm down. I tell myself, willing the shaking to stop. It didn't work, the shaking was still there, but it wasn't as bad as the beginning. I take a deep breath before walking to the bed and I turn on the flat screen tv. Television will surely distract me.

It didn't. If anything, it gave me more time to think and that's a bad thing. What if they trash the house? What if they're part of a gang? What if they kill Jesse? What if they kill me? No, Kellin. Calm down. I focus on the show and it's about a mother who is looking for her daughter that she lost on a plane. Kind of sad if you ask me.

I spent most of my time watching the movie and it was actually really good. The whole movie kept you in suspense up until the end. When it finished, I grab my song book. I had nothing better to do. I contemplate what song I should work on. I flip through the pages and stop at a random one.

It was one of my old ones. When the abuse first started, when I was bullied and around the time I first cut myself. I regret that moment. I sigh and realized I had to finish this song. It was called Someone Else and it was about how I hated who I was and how much I wanted to change. I had the first verse done, and the chorus, I just needed the secind verse and the bridge.

"I change my clothes again this morning, I don't like the way I look today. And everytime I look in the mirror, I look for someone else's face. 'Cause I hate the way I feel, hate this man that I've become. I want to fight myself, I know that it's not working. I step outside again, it's raining on my clothes, on my face, in my way," I sing the first verse.

"I want to be somebody else. I don't like who I've become. I don't like who I've become. Somebody else. I don't like who I've become. I want to be somebody else. Someone stronger, smarter, wiser. Someone take this broken heart and make it new now. Someone else. Someone else." I sing the chorus. And I was about to stop, but the lyrics came to me, almost as if the song wrote itself.

"I pick myself up again this morning. I don't like the way I feel today. I want to see myself more clearly. I want to see someone else's face. 'Cause I hate the way I feel. Hate this man that I've become. I want to change this broken heart and make it new now." Then I recite the chorus and it sounded great. I write it down and that's how I spent most of my day. I squealed when I got it done. It was one of my favorite songs.

I run out of the room and into the living room. I see Jesse there and I saw some other people from my periphial vision, but I was too excited that I didn't care. "Jesse," I call. He turns to look at me and smiles. I run into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist. "Jesse, I finished Someone Else!" And he smiles, he knew how hard I tried and wanted to finish that song.

"That's great. I want to hear it later, okay? After the meeting," he says and I nod. I climb off him and run back upstairs. I was still giddy, the effects of finishing a song I've wanted to for so long not leaving yet. I grab my book and reread over the lyrics, smiling at how wonderful they were.


I had been up here for three hours and I was so bored. I place my head against the door and I don't hear anything. Maybe the meeting was finally over. I walk out of the room quietly. Nothing. I bite my lip. "Jesse," I call out and no response. I set my lips into a flat line. I start walking down the stairs and look into the living room. Nope.

I walk down the hall to the game room. No. I try the every bathroom and every room and nothing. I walk by the kitchen and then I hear some noises. It sounds like grunting and groans. What's going on? But when I walk into the kitchen, it was empty. I walk further in and the noises got louder as I walked by the basement door.

I bite my lip, having an internal conflict. Jesse told me to never go into the basement, but what was going on? I bite my lip harder and open the door. It didn't make a noise. I step on the first step and I wince as it lets out a squeak from my weight and probably all the rust it had. I step onto the next and wince again as it also made noise.

This was the process, me stepping on the stairs and wincing everytime one made a noise. When I finally reach the bottom, I see there was a long hallway to walk through. I look at the door and then back at the hall, biting my lip. Come on, Kellin, you can do this. I let a sigh and walk through.

It was very dark and I had my hand on the wall as a guide. I finally reach the end of the corridor. There was a small hallway with a door at the end and I walk towards the door, opening it quietly and I gasp silently at what I saw.

Jesse, my Jesse, the sweetest person, the nicest, the most forgiving, the tolerant, my best friend, holding a gun to a badly beat up man on the floor. I see Jesse set the gun and run in and stand in front of the stranger. "What the hell, Jesse? What's going on," I yell at him and I can tell he was shocked because I never raised my voice, ever. I didn't even care that there were others in the room. I was disgusted in them all for letring Jesse do all this.

Jesse stood there, shocked, bringing his arm with gun down. "Well, answer me," I snap. "Kellin, let me explain."

"Yeah, dumbass. That's what I've been waiting for."

"That guy, behind you, is Jack. The Jack that was supposed to pick you up in Mexico, but didn't and got you captured by that gang."

"That doesn't explain why you were about to kill him!"

"Because you got hurt because of him!"

"It doesn't matter! What you were about to do was low. You're just as bad as he is," I say, knowing full well he knew who I was talking about. He looks hurt, but I didn't care. I couldn't the image of him pointing the gun at Jack out of my head. "And killing someone? Do you realize you could go to jail?"

"Um, I wouldn't be going to jail for that. Nobody knows Jack and everyone here would keep their mouths shut."

"Why," I snap. "Because I'm the leader of a gang, Sleeping with Sirens. These are also gang leaders from different states and countries - " I cut him off. "You're part of a gang, the leader, and you didn't tell me," I say, my voice quieter than before. "Kellin," he tries, taking a step closer to me. I step, "No," I say. "Don't touch me. I'm leaving," I say, weakly.

"Where will you go?" I stare at him, "There is only one other person I know in Michigan." His eyes widen, "Kellin, no. He'll rape you, beat you, hell, he'll probably kill you!"

"I don't care! At least, he never lied to me! And I rather spent my life getting beaten than being lied to." I walk to Jack and help him stand. He groans and stumbles a bit. I lead him down the corridor, up the stairs, and into the living room. I set him on the couch and run into the kitchen and grab a wet cloth. I vaguely see everyone else coming in.

I run back to Jack and start cleaning all the wounds. I started on his arms and he winced every now and then when the cloth touched his skin. I knew it hurt, I've been through it myself. "I'm sorry about what Jesse did to you," I mumble, dabbing the cloth on his arm. He winces before answering, "It wasn't your fault." I look at him through my lashes and I freeze when I see him.

Underneath all that blood, Jack was hot. I start dabbing the cloth on his face, his groaned. "Sorry," I say. I knew the others were in the room as well, but I didn't care. I was mad and hurt. Jesse kept something from me when I was nothing but an open book with him. When I finished with Jack, I lead him to one of the sparr rooms and tell him to get some rest.

I walk back into the living room and glare at Jesse. "What did you do to him?"

"I told Justin and Gabe to beat him and that I would kill him." And I feel my heart constrict hearing those words coming from his mouth. I look down before looking up at Jesse again, but I freeze when I see who's behind him. "Jesse."

"No, Kellin, I won't let you scold me on how I shouldn't kill him for what he let happen to you - " I cut him off. "Jesse."

"Let me talk, Kellin - " but I didn't. I run into his arms, and I can tell he feels me shaking. "Kellin, what's wrong?"

"It's him," I whisper. "It's the stupid gang leader," I say, using the nickname I gave Vic. "Who is it? Because there are like two gangs here."

"V-Vic." And Jesse whirls us around to face Vic. "You were the one who took Kellin?" Vic nods. "Yeah, he stepped into my lands. You're lucky I didn't kill him. That's what I do with everyone who does." I flinch at his voice. A whole week away from him, and now he's here... in my home. "He's mine and I want him back."

"Like hell," Jesse yells, and hugs me tighter. I bury my head deeper into his neck, my shivering getting worse. Vic's here and he wants me back. Please, no. "Yes. And if you don't, I will call war on you." And I feel Jesse tense. "What's wrong," I whisper in his ear. "If Vic and I go to war, millions of people will die, but only because Vic has a huge gang, I'd lose." I bite my lip, this was all my fault. Jesse didn't deserve to go down because of me.

I turn around in Jesse's arms to look at Vic. And I can't believe the words came out of my mouth, but it was for Jesse. Even if it meant I'd go on through life unhappy. "I'll go with you."

Chapter Text

Chapter Eight:

I saw my life flash before my eyes as I said those words. I'll go with you. I felt my knees give out as I said those words. I'll go with you. I felt the tears fill my eyes as I said those words. I'll go with you. I felt Jesse tense up behind me as I said those words. I'll go with you. And I saw Vic smirk as I said those words. I'll go with you.

Vic grabbed my arm and I felt like crying as he did, but Jesse's grip tightened and he pulled me away from Vic. "No, Kellin stays here with me." Vic glares and I see nothing but pure hatred in his eyes as he stares at Jesse. "Listen, JLaw, Kellin chose to go with me. I'm forcing him into anything," he spits out.

"Kellin's only going to protect me and my gang from you." And I bite my lip, hating that Jesse knows me so well. They both turn to look at me, Jesse's gentle gaze and Vic's hard stare. "Is it true, Kellin? What JLaw said," Vic asks me. I look at the them before averting my gaze and nodding. I don't lie and I wasn't going to start now. But wait, JLaw? "Jesse, did he just call you JLaw?"

"Yeah. I use it as my gang name, so no one finds out my real name."

"Why is that such a big deal, anyway," Vic snaps, and I tense a bit before Jesse pulls me into his arms. "Because it's the nickname I gave him, I didn't know he used it," I answer, digging my head into Jesse's chest. I felt happy that Jesse used my pointless nickname in something as important as his gang. Jesse did care about me, a lot.

I turn to look at Vic and see he was glaring even harder now. He was practically growling. I look around and see the other gang leader here, looking at us in amusement. I get out of Jesse's grip, but he didn't notice, he was too busy arguing with Vic. I walk to gang leader. "Hi. What's the name of your gang," I ask, looking up at him. He was tall.

"Of Mice & Men. Name's Austin," he says, sticking out his hand for me to shake. I do, and answer him, "I'm Kellin, in case you didn't hear them say it." Even though I'm pretty sure the whole neighborhood heard. "Yeah. I heard them. Why are they obsessed with you, anyway?"

"Well, Jesse's been my best friend since kindergarten, so that's his reason. I honestly don't why Vic is, though. I met him a few weeks ago and he's kind of has it imprinted in his brain that I am his."

"Well, I don't blame him. You are adorable. And pretty." I blush. "But don't worry, I won't turn crazy like them. I have my own man at home. His name's Alan. Hold on, I have a picture." He takes out his wallet and shows me a picture of him with a red-head. "Aww. You guys look so cute together. How long have you guys been together?"

"We dated for three years and we've been married two years now, so five years together." I smile at him. "That's amazing. I'm happy for you. What does your gang do?"

"We mostly work with drugs. I don't use them, but it's how I make money. Jesse does the same, also some killing. Same with me. But Vic is the one who does drug dealing, prostitution, killings, but only because he's in Mexico. But as people, we're not bad. I know you know Jesse isn't." I nod at him. Jesse wasn't ever cruel with me. And Vic did prostitution? "Wait - did you say Vic did prostitution?" He nods and I feel bile rising in my throat. Prostitution, that was the worse thing someone could go through. And Vic was encouraging it. "Oh, God. Are you okay," he asks me. Are you okay is right.

I shake my head and then I run to the bathroom. I hurl into the toilet bowl, not really caring if I missed. I hear the others run in the bathroom and I finally stop, so I had time to look at them. But then I felt the bile rising again and I was hacking into the toilet again. Ugh. Eventually, all the contents from my stomach were gone and all I was doing was dry-heaving.

When it finally stopped, Jesse stepped up with a cloth to wash my face and Vic came up and helped me stand. But as soon as he let go, my knees gave out and I was tumbling down again. "Ow," I murmur, pouting. I hear Austin chuckle. "Oh, my God, Kellin. You are so adorable! If Alan were here, he'd so fangirl over how cute you are." I blush as Austin said that, and look down. From the corner of my eye, I see Vic glaring at Austin and Austin smirks, knowing full well why Vic was doing it.

Vic helps me stand again, picking me up bridal style. We all walk out - well I was carried - and back into the living room. Vic sets me on the couch, gently. Jesse takes a seat on one side of me, Vic on the other. Austin just stood, smirking. I smile at him. "So," I say, trailing off. "Kell's staying," Jesse snaps.

"No. Kellin is mine," Vic says and I sigh. I get up, and wobble over to Austin, my legs shaky. He catches me before I fall. "Tired of all the arguing," he asks me and I nod, sadly. "I'd ask to go with you, but I don't want to get you in trouble with Vic and Jesse." He nods, sadly. "Yeah, it'd be fun to have you around. But I can't afford a war with Vic. But, hey, doesn't mean we can't keep in contact. What's you phone number?"

I stare at him, wide-eyed. "Oh, um, I don't have a phone," and he gapes. "What? How old are you?"


"You're twenty-two and you don't have a phone?!" I nod my head. He smacks his forehead. "Wow. How did you communicate with your friends?"

"I didn't have friends. I was bullied."

"Oh," he frowns. "Hey, it's fine. It's in the past anyway."

"Ok. So, you're going with Vic?" I nod my head, sadly. "If it means protecting Jesse, yes. How big is Vic's gang, anyway?"

"Huge. Bigger than all gang's combined. He has more than one head quarters all over Mexico." I sigh, yeah, I was going with Vic. We turn back to look at Jesse and Vic and see them still arguing. I groan. "Ok! I have had enough of this shit!" They turn to look at me. "Jesse, I'm going with Vic, but not because I like him, because I don't. But to protect your gang," I say, shouting in Jesse's direction.

Then I turn to look at Vic, seeing him glaring at me. "Oh, at least be happy I'm going with you," I snap at him. "And if I go with you, I want to be able to call Jesse everyday. And Austin, as well. And Jesse visits whenever he can." He glares at me harder, and stands up quicker than I can talk. "No."

"Yes. Or I can just stay here with Jesse, I don't care. At least, I like Jesse." And he looked hurt for a moment before masking it with anger, "Fine. You can Jesse everyday, and talk to Austin, and Jesse can visit." I smile, "Glad that's cleared out." I walk back into Jack's room and see him just now waking up.

"How are you feeling," I ask him, taking a seat beside him on the bed. "I've been better. My head's killing me." I get up and grab him a glass of water from the drawer, along with a pill. "Here, this should help you with the pain," I say, taking a seat before handing him the pill. He sticks it in his mouth, and I bring the cup to his lips, letting him swallow the pill with water. "Thank you," he says, pulling his lips away from the cup. I smile, "It's no problem."

After a while of just sitting, I see his face converting to one of pain. "What's wrong," I ask him, frantically. "Nothing, it's just my abdomen area. I got kicked there pretty hard," and I frown as I hear that. "Stupid Jesse, he's lucky I love him or I would have kneed him in the balls," I mumble, uncovering Jack. He flinched a bit at being moved around and kept mumbling apologies, wincing with him.

Finally I got the blanket off him and I raised his shirt a bit to get a look at his stomach. I frown at what I see, it was badly bruised. "I'm going to have to feel for broken bones, but it will hurt, okay?" I wait for him to nod before running the tip of my fingers over a bruise. I pull my hand back before placing it flat against his skin. I run over his abdomen and a bit on his sides. I felt him quiver a bit.

I pull my hand back, "Well, you don't have any broken bones, so they're probably bruised which means, no rough-housing. And you might want to apply ice on those bruises. It helps. Let's see what else... Oh, yes. Try to rest until the bruises fade, your ribs should be better by then, if not, I recommend a doctor," I say.

"You're really good at this," he commented. "Yeah, well, when it happens a lot, you tend to learn how to take care of yourself." He sends me a sympathetic look. I smile. "Ok. Now try to not make Jesse want to kill you this time," I say, jokingly and he laughs before wincing. "Sorry," I murmur. He smiles, "It's fine."

"I'll see if Jesse will let you stay here, even with me gone," I say, getting up. He reaches for my wrist and grabs it, "You're leaving?"

"Yeah, I have to go with Vic." He frowns, but let's go of me and I as I walk to the door, I bump into a firm chest. I feel the arms wrap around my waist and lift me up. Before I knew, I was on someone's shoulder. I look around and see Jesse glaring, and I thought I was Vic's shoulder, but then I see Vic practically seething, so I realized I was on Austin's shoulder. I smile a bit as I get carried out of the room and up the stairs.

"Which one is your room," Austin asked me.

"I slept with Jesse, do you know which is his room?" He nods and walks to the door and opens it. "Hey, Jesse. Can Jack stay until he feels better," I ask, giving him my puppy-dog eyes. He grumbles, but nods. "Yay, thanks."

"Where's your stuff," Vic asks and I answer him, Austin carrying me over there. He and Vic both grab my shirts and shorts, socks, and underwear. "My jeans are in the closet and my TOMs are at the front door," I say, and they both walk to the closet. Austin still hasn't dropped me and Vic sent him glares every once and a while. I look to Jesse and he looked so heartbroken to see me go. "Hey, Austin, can you put me down," I whisper in his ear and he nods.

I walk to Jesse when he does and hug him close. He hoists me up and I wrap my legs around him. "I'll miss you," I tell him. He smiles sadly, "I know, I'll miss you too."

"I can't believe you're the leader of a gang," I tell him, resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I just didn't want to put you in any danger." I nod against him. "I understand."

"I just can't believe you're going with Vic," he growls.

"I don't want to go, but if it means keeping you safe, I'd do anything. You've done so much for me, I just felt like I needed to repay the debt. But at least this time we can talk everyday."

He chuckles at that, "Yeah. Vic isn't that much of a dick. He's just really jealous and possessive. Like right now, he looks like he wants to kill me and have his wicked way with you. Don't you, Vic," he asks louder. I see Vic's jaw set. And I blush, before burying my head into Jesse's chest. I stay in Jesse's arms until they finish packing my stuff. It wasn't much, but what I did have, they packed it.

I was leaving Jesse again, and this time, on my own accord. Vic was waiting for me at the front door. Jesse had carried me down the stairs and Austin had my bag. Jesse had handed me my notebook and I had clutched between Jesse and I. When we reach the front door, I climb off Jesse and put on my shoes.

"Bye, JLaw," I call out to Jesse. "Don't forget to call!"

"I won't! Bye, Austin!"

"Bye, Kellin! Try to talk to me if Vic let's you!"

"Ok!" I yell, as I climb into Vic's car. He had placed my bag in the backseat. He climbed in after me and as soon as he started driving, I realized the seriousness of the situation. I was in deep trouble when we got to Mexico. What would he do to me? Would he rape me? Oh, God, no. I start thinking of worst case scenarios. Shit, shit, shit.

"So, I had no idea that JLaw was your Jesse," Vic says. I snap my gaze to him. "Yeah, I had no idea that Jesse was your JLaw," I mutter, bitterly. "You're upset. Why?"

"Because he kept this from me. We have been friend since kindergarten and he didn't tell me this. Meanwhile, I told him every from my ab-" I cut myself off. "About my past, secrets, dreams. I even sing for him everytime I finish a song I wrote. I never kept anything from him, but he kept this from me. That's why I'm upset."

"I wouldn't keep anything from you," he says, and my eyes widen. "What?"

"I wouldn't keep anything from you. From the beginning, I have been nothing but honest with you." I look away, I knew where this was going. "Can I turn on the radio?" He nods, sighing. I pick a random station, not really caring what song was playing. I just needed something to avoid that conversation.

"Vic, are you mad?" There was a pause and I was petrified to hear the answer. I bite my lip in anticipation. "Honestly, I was. I kind of trashed my study and got drunk. I had swore that when I found you, you'd get a hell of a punishment... but seeing with you Jesse, even if it killed me, because you kill me in a good way sometimes. But anyway, seeing you with Jesse, I saw that you were genuinely happy. And I realized you only ran to be happy, and if anyone deserves it, it's you." He stops and I think he's done, but he opens his mouth again.

"I may not know your whole past, but I do know someone hurt you and that Jesse was there." I smile and nod. Maybe Vic isn't all that bad. "You know, Vic. I was wrong about you. When you're not being a possessive, over protective, jealous prick, you're not so bad." He chuckles at that. "Thank you, Kellin." I nod and lean against my head against the window. And finally I fall asleep.



I was on my way to America to meet with JLaw and Aussie with Jack from JLaw's gang, Sleeping with Sirens. We were about to land and Jack told me that JLaw had rented us a car to drive to his house. We meet up with Aussie along the way and we all drive to JLaw's house. When we reach his house, I ring the doorbell and I shuffling from the other side before JLaw opens up.

We had stayed in the living room for a while, getting some of our business done. Like JLaw said he needed extra cocaine to sell to his customers for more money, he didn't explain why he needed more. Better to remain unknowing. I nodded and wrote that down. Then Aussie said he was going to gain new members from California and we nodded, giving him the okay.

One's gang can't be too big or else that equals to much power. I am aloud to have a big gang because I have proven to them that I will not claim war on them unless they force my hand. We were all honest men, even if we do what we do. I didn't really need anything. We just did this to keep up with each other.

Then out of nowhere I hear a voice call out, "Jesse." I turn to see who had done that and I feel my jaw drop. I see him jump into JLaw's arms and wrap his legs around JLaw's waist. Hell no. JLaw had his arms around him and was smiling at him. "Jesse, I finished Someone Else!" What the hell was Someone Else. But JLaw knew what it was sine he smiled and said, "That's great. I want to hear it later, okay? After the meeting." Kellin nodded and jumped off Jesse before running back upstairs.

"Sorry, guys. He's just excited that he finished a song he worked so hard to finish."

"It's fine. He's kind of adorable anyway," I feel my blood boil hearing Aussie say that. All I saw was red after seeing how Kellin hugged Jesse and they held each other. I was jealous because he never did that with me. He seemed repulsed by my touch, but he welcomed JLaw's. I can't believe that his Jesse was JLaw.

"Come on," he says, leading us to the basement where we always meet. "Ok, so business meeting beginning now," Aussie says and we get down to who's giving what and getting what. Who we need to kill, new members. That lasted about two hours. But I couldn't get Kellin off my mind. He was here, but I was taken out of my thought because then out of nowhere, two silhouettes jump out and attack Jack. Aussie and I jump out of reach, but JLaw walks to them.

"Beat him bad, and then I'll kill him," he commands, before walking back to us. We didn't ask why, we stayed out of each other's business. It was better that way because if we were to get into a gang fight, he could say we used him for information, so better to remain oblivious when it comes to others' business.

We just stood back and talked, sometimes watching what was happening and from what I could tell, they getting him good. Poor guy, wonder what he did to get JLaw so mad. He was usually the calmest. Never ever really had a reason to get mad, considering what he does for a living. This Jack person must have done something major for him to anger JLaw like this.

Eventually, JLaw stopped it and pulled out a gun. He had set it and was about to pull the trigger when Kellin goes and runs to stand in front of Jack. " What the hell, Jesse? What's going on," he screams at him and that was the most angry I had ever seen him. He kept yelling at JLaw and I saw that what hurt JLaw the most was when Kellin compared him to him. Whoever him was.

Then when JLaw explained to Kellin that he was the leader of Sleeping with Sirens, Kellin had this heartbroken look on his face. JLaw went to comfort him, and I was about to attack him for touching what is mine, but then Kellin said, "No. Don't touch me. I'm leaving."

"Where will you go?" JLaw asks him. "There is only one other person I know in Michigan," Kellin replies and JLaw's eyes widen. "Kellin, no. He'll rape you, beat you, hell, he'll probably kill you." I felt my eyes widen hearing that. No one was aloud to touch in that way, but me. If I find out anyone has taken advantage of him, they are going to die. No questions asked. Not even if Kellin himself wanted it.

"I don't care," Kellin replies. "At least, he never lied to me! And I rather spent my life getting beaten than being lied to." With that, Kellin grabs Jack and leads him upstairs. Jack is going to get an even worse beating from me. Why did Kellin have to have such a big and caring heart? And also, how has Kellin not seen me yet? Because nothing else matters than his precious Jesse.

We all follow JLaw upstairs. We see how Kellin starts treating Jack and I was seriously considering sending my men after Jack for how Kellin was touching him. But voted against it since Kellin would probably hate me more than he already does. But... it didn't matter, I could live with Kellin hating me as long as it meant he wouldn't be touching any other person, guy or girl. Why did he have to be so gentle with him?

Although I guess I should thank Jack since he didn't pick up Kellin. If he had picked up Kellin, I probably would have never met him. So I guess I won't beat up Jack, just dream of his demise. I see Kellin help Jack get to a room and whe he comes back out, he's glaring at JLaw. "What did you do to him?"

"I told Justin and Gabe to beat him and that I would kill him." Kellin looked like he was in pain at hearing those words and his hand clenched around his shirt, he probably didn't notice. He looked like he was about to say something, but then he saw me and I saw genuine fear in his eyes. "Jesse," he tried.

"No, Kellin, I won't let you scold me on how I shouldn't kill him for what he let happen to you - " JLaw begins, but Kellin cut him off. "Jesse," he tried again, but JLaw wouldn't listen to him. "Let me talk, Kellin - " but this time, to cut him off, Kellin ran into his arm. I let out a low growl at  JLaw for touching what is mine. But I think he finally noticed something was wrong with Kellin because he asked, "Kellin, what's wrong?"

"It's him," Kellin whispers, it was hard to catch. "It's the stupid gang leader," he says, and I scoff. Stupid? "Who is it? Because there are like two gangs here."

"V-Vic," he stutters and that's so cute. But Jesse whirls around to face me. I saw nothing but rage on his face and that made me smile. "You were the one who took Kellin?" I nod, smirking. "Yeah, he stepped into my lands. You're lucky I didn't kill him. That's what I do with everyone who does." I see Kellin flinch at hearing my voice and that hurt, but I kept my cool. "He's mine and I want him back," I say.

"Like hell," Jesse yells, and hugs Kellin tighter. He buries his head deeper into JLaw's neck, I see him shivering harder than I've ever sen anyone do before. "Yes. And if you don't, I will call war on you." And I see JLaw tense up. I see Kellin whisper something in JLaw's ear. Then I see JLaw do the same to Kellin.

Then I see Kellin turn around in JLaw's grasp and he faces me. His pretty little mouth opens up and he says the best news I have ever heard in my life, "I'll go with you."



I feel someone shaking me awake and I start panicking when I see it's Vic. I push his hand away and start quivering in fear. "Woah, Kellin. Calm down," he says, gently. I look at him and when I see the airport, I remember. I came with him to protect Jesse's gang. When he sees I'm calm, he nods and we climb off the car. He grabs my bag and I grab my notebook.

He pays for our flight and we go through the whole process of getting on a plane. When it was time to board, Vic grabs my bag again and we find our seats. He places my bag on the drawer over us and takes the window seat. Thank goodness, I do not want to stare at the ground and see how high we are, I'd probably vomit again.

But the flight was fine, and when we get to Mexico, he had a car awaiting us and the driver was Mike. Great, note the sarcasm. "Hey, Vic. How was the - Kellin?" I stare at him blankly. I still haven't forgiven him for what he did to me. "How did you find me?"

"I'll explain everything at home, so for now, let's go." Mike nods at Vic and we get in the car. Mike starts driving and I finally see where to go to get to Head Quarters. It was nice route, full of trees and animals. But then you get to the clearing and that's where it is. Mike opens the gate and then drives forward. He parks the car in a giant garage full of other cars.

We get out of the car and walk to the house. Vic carries my bag upstairs and into his room. "You're still sleeping with me, nothing has changed there." I nod, sadly. "Good, now put your things away while I explain everything to Mike," and he walks out of the room. While putting my things away, I let out a few tears. But I wasn't all that upset because doing this was protecting Jesse.

When I finish, I walk back downstairs and see Mike and Vic are done talking. Mike was walking out the door and Vic turns to look at me. He walks towards me and when he's a breath away, he grabs my head and slams our lips together. I pull away and stare at him, repulsed. He starts walking closer and I take steps back. But then my back hits the wall. I look at him in fear.

He brings his lips to mine again and I turn my head the other way. "Please stop, Vic." He doesn't, he attacks my neck and brings his hand under my shirt. I try escaping, but his other hand, he had taken a hold of my body and pulled me flush against him. I felt more tears coming, "Vic, please stop." But he doesn't, his hand went higher and so did my shirt, my whole skinny torso was exposed.

"I love your skin, Kellin. It's so soft and pale. Like a porcelain doll. You have the looks anyway. Pretty, so pretty. Attractive in a delicate way, it's what you are," he says, bring the hand wrapped around me to my leg. Why did I decide to wear shorts? When he's done there, he brings his hand to my shoulder and slides the sleeve of my tank top off, exposing the skin there. His nose traces the shape and he inhales my scent.

"You're very pretty, Kellin," I didn't reply, I just stood there crying, waiting for it to be all over. He placed butterfly kisses all over my exposed shoulder before moving to the other one. He does the same thing to this shoulder. He also skimmed a hand over my exposed waist. When he's done with my shoulder, he pecks my lips before pulling back. And I fall to the ground in tears.

"New rules," he says, not even helping me get up. I shakily get up and pull my sleeves up and my shirt down. My whole body was trembling and I almost fell back down, but I used the wall for support. "Rule Number One: You will call JLaw at five o'clock everyday, not before that.
Rule Number Two: You're aloud to go out now since I trust you not to run away anymore because if you do, I call war on SWS.
Rule Number Three: You are not aloud to touch anyone, but me. You are mine, it's about time you realized it." I nod at the rules.

"Oh, and one more thing, I'm going to want sex eventually. Be ready for that," and I collapse. He walks upstairs and I sit on the floor, sobbing at that. I gasp for breath. "I-I-I," I couldn't even speak. The sobs racked my body, shaking my shoulders. I wasn't ready for this. I wish I would have stayed with Jesse.

I shakily get up. My body hasn't stopped trembling. I slowly walk out the front door and to the edge of HQ. I climb over the fence, my shaking body giving too many close calls. But I made it over, I walk towards the tree where Vic caught me. I shudder thinking of Vic, but I slide down against the trunk and I finally break down crying, not caring who heard. Not like anybody could anyway.

But after my sobs turned into silent tears, I heard rustling coming from further into the woods. I tentatively get up and walk towards it. Stupid move, I'm acting like those idiots in the horror movies, but honestly I don't care if I die. Not anymore. As I get closer, the rustling got louder and I could hear panting. I break into a run.

But what I find shocks me. I see a girl, she looks around my age, but that's not what shocked me. This girl had a baby in her hands, but the baby was a new born. "Oh, my God, are you okay," I rush to her side. "No," she gasps out. "I don't have much longer, but please take care of her," she says, handing her baby to me.

"What's your name," I ask her, taking the baby. "Katelynne," and she started panting harder. I look down and saw all the blood she lost in child birth. "Please, take care of her. Her name is," she gasps for breath, but that was her last. She closes her eyes and falls back. "No, no, no, no. Wake up, please." But she didn't. She was gone. I get up, shakily again. Today was not my day.

I hear angry cries from further into the woods and I star running. I cup my hand around the baby's head, making sure nothing hit her. When I reach the gang, I run inside, using the door's this time. When I was inside HQ, is when I finally look at the little girl in my arms. She was adorable, but covered in blood. I knew I had to get her to Vic's house.

I speed-walk there and when I see Vic isn't in the living room, I walk upstairs and burst into our room. "Vic, I found this girl in the woods and she had just had her baby. She died, but before she did, she told me to take care of her baby," I rush out and he looks at me like I'v grown another head. But then the baby starts crying, she was probably uncomfortable with all the dry blood. "Vic, get me a wet cloth," I command.

While he goes to get that, I start bouncing the baby, trying to calm her down. "It's okay, it's okay," that didn't work. I start humming a random tune and place her head over my heart. She starts calming down and that's when Vic arrived. I place her on the bed and start rubbing the wet the cloth over her face gently. She starts crying and fussing. "Oh, I know you don't like it, baby," I coo at her.

When I finish cleaning off all the blood, I pick her up and wrap her in blanket I had Vic get me. I was calming her down again. It wasn't working, so I went the singing tactic.

"What can I do?
What can I do?
To find something better to do than this.
I've been sitting around,
Thinking of everything that I've done wrong.
I've been playing it over and over in my head.
Been thinking about something that
I might have said to you to make you go to so far away.
And it makes me think of.

I try so hard
To find out where I've been.
I've been playing my cards,
But I never ever win.
And if I fall short.
Will you pick me up from this mess?
Oh, be my heaven again.
Be my heaven again.

Trying to figure out this life I live.
And everything that I'm trying to give
Cuz I see so many people just thinking about themselves
And no one else.

Is that what this life's about?
Getting what you want out of it and leaving the others out?
Cuz I don't think that's got passion or love or anything of above.
I just want to find

Somebody who knows
What it is or how it goes
Cuz I've been thinking to myself
That we can do better for ourselves in the end.
I've been dreaming out loud,
Trying to figure all this out.
Could you be my heaven again?
Could you be my heaven again?

Cuz I don't want to die alone.
I don't want to be afraid.
I don't want to sit back and think about my days
And everything that we tried;
We try so hard sometimes
Just to find out where we belong in the end.

(no go back, go back)

We'll figure out who we are.
We'll figure out who we are.
Trying to figure out who we are with a time and a place.
Trying to figure out who we are.

And it gets so hard sometimes,
Trying to figure out this whole life
And everything in between
We try so hard sometimes
But it never makes sense to us,
Maybe we can find a riddle or two
To get back to what we're supposed to do.
This love, this love,
This love."

She was asleep by the time I finished the song. It was an original, called it Heaven Again. I adjust her in my arms, making sure I'm supporting her head. I hum the song to keep her calm in sleep. "Kellin," Vic calls, softly. "You have a beautiful voice." I blush and lower my gaze, "Thank you."

"Also, if we're going to raise her, we're going to need diapers, wipes, clothes, a tub for her, formula since neither of us can feed her, baby food, and a name." I frown at him, knowing he's right. "When can we go?"

"Now, we'll her things now, but what about the name?" I bite my lip and look at her. What to name her? How will I cope with keeping her? Cope? Copeland! "I want to name her Copeland. Now let's go," I say, and walk slowly with her in my arms. We walk out and head towards the giant garage. He picks a random car, that had a booster seat.

"We have cars for every emergency, strap her in." I do as he says and get in at shot gun, putting in my seatbelt. He drives out skillfully and onto the road. The gate was open and he drives out of HQ. It took a while to finally get to the town, but we did and he found a Wal*Mart. He finds a spot close to the entrance. I go unstrap Cope and she starts getting fussy a bit, but I hum to calm her.

We walk inside and Vic grabs a cart. We go to the nursery area, grabbing diapers that said new born, wipes, bottles, passifiers, baby nail clipper, nose cleaner, formula, blankets, stuffed animals, toys, clothes,  everything. We got a lot and Vic went to pay and put them way while I looked at the cribs.

Some were way to extravagant, some too plain. This was harder than I thought it was going to be. I look down at Cope and tighten the blanket around her. But then our of nowhere, someone grabbed my wrists, tight. "Ow," I murmur. When I look up at who did it, I freeze. This man was terrifying. He was glaring at me and when I whimpered, his grip tightened. I bite my lip to keep from making a noise. "Yes, you'll make a good sex slave for me."

"Please let me go. I don't even know you. Please, I have a daughter," his grip tightens and I swear I feel the bone breaking. I whimper and almost shout out. Oh, God, Vic, where are you?! "Come with me," he says, pulling my arm. I had no choice, but to follow. But I struggled, and when I kicked him in the balls is when he let me go. I start running and I bump into someone along the way.

"Vic, thank God," I say as I pull him in for a hug with the hand not holding Cope. He embraces me back and I felt safer than with that guy. "What's wrong, Kellin?"

"Some random man grabbed me and was pulling me to the back of the store, he kind of grabbed my wrist and maybe sprained it." He pulls back, but kept one arm around me, the other went to my wrist and I whimpered when he touched it. He was glaring at the bruise forming. "Did he tell you why he wanted you?" And I bite my lip, I don't lie and I'm not good at it either. I nod. Good, that's not lying.

"Well, why did he want you?" I adjust Cope and make sure she's still asleep before answering, "Promise me you won't yell and go after this guy," I say. "Kellin."

"Promise me." He sighs, "Fine, I promise."

"He said I'd make a good sex slave for him." Vic runs off to the crib section. Shit! I run after him. "Vic!" He keeps running towards the crib section until he reaches it. That's when he slows down, but he was still searching isle after isle. "Vic, please. Let's just buy the crib and leave." He looks at me, I was begging him to let it go. "Please." He sighs and his shoulders untense. I give and sigh of relief and hug him, not to close because of Cope, but enough for him to know I appreciate it.

He pulls me closer, but not tight so Cope can still breathe. "Ok. Let's go look for the crib," he says into my shoulder. I nod and turn to walk away, but he didn't let go of me. "Give me Cope, your wrist is hurt and your arm must be tired," he says, and I nod, handing her to him. "Make sure to support her head," he nods and carries her. We walk around, looking for the perfect crib. Well, I was, Vic was just there.

But finally I see it. The crib was white and had a canopy. It wasn't too big, nor too small. "Vic, I found it. Let's get her this one." He nods and mumbles something that sounds like, "Finally." I pout and he smirks, but hands me Cope and grabs the box for the crib. I see Cope wake up and bring her to face. "Hey, Cope. How's my little girl," I ask her in a baby voice. She just squinted her eyes. "We should probably hurry," I say. "Since she just woke up, she's be hungry."

He nods and we hurry to the cashier. Vic pays for it and we're on our way to the car. But then I freeze, inside the car beside ours is that guy who attacked me. I had stopped dead in my tracks and Vic noticed, "Kellin, what's wrong?"

"Vic, it's him. The guy who grabbed my wrist," and just thinking about it made my wrist hurt a lot more than it did. "Ok. I got this," he says, and pulls me gently to the car. He puts the crib away, I strap Copeland in. Then I get in my seat. I looked at the man and he smirked, but then Vic stepped in front of the window, blocking him from view.

I see him tap on the guy's window. When the guy rolled it down, Vic punched him. "Hey! ¡Oralé, waye!"

"Never touch what is mine again, understood?" The guy nodded, grudgedly. Vic nods and gets inside. On the way back to the gang, I grab Vic's hand. He looks at me, eye-brow raised. "Thank you," I say and peck his cheek. If he were always that sweet with me then maybe I would fall for him. "Really?"

"What," I ask. "You said that if I were always that sweet with you then maybe you'd fall for me. Did you mean it?" I blush, Oops, I had said that out loud. No point lying. "Well, yes. Who wouldn't fall for a sweet guy?" He does this thing that is between a smile and smirk and I feel my blush darken.

We reach the gang hideout and instead of parking at the garage, he parked in front of his house. I grab Cope and Vic grabs this little chair for her where we can strap her in while we empty the car. He places the chair in the living room and I put her a diaper and a little onesie before placing her in the chair, making sure to strap her in.

I go back out and grab bags full of her stuff and place them in the living room. Vic does the same and we do this until everything is down. We had taken everything upstairs, even Cope and her chair. While Vic was setting up the crib, I was putting everything away. When I finished, I went downstairs and made Cope her bottle. Then I stick in the microwave, making sure it's warm enough for her.

When I walk back upstairs, bottle in hand, I unstrap Cope and start feeding her. I knew she wouldn't be able to hold it herself yet. I sit on the bed and tilt her back a bit and let her drink. Meanwhile, Vic was making so much noise, but at least he was almost done. I probably would have burnt everything. I hum Heaven Again to her and she seems to enjoy it. And I hum until she finishes the whole bottle and until she's asleep before placing her in her newly built crib. Vic had placed it right beside our bed so we could reach her in case of an emergency.

After laying her down, I yawn. It was pretty late. "Come on, time for bed," Vic says, handing me the same shirt I wore the last time I was here. He turns around before I ask him to. And when I see he was changing as well, I turn around also, blushing. "You can look now," he says, and my blush darkens when I see he's in nothing but his boxers. I peck Cope's forehead before getting into bed with Vic and falling asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nine:


I wake up to crying and I groan when I see that it's four in the morning. I clumsily get out of bed and walk to Copeland's crib. Vic had made a bottle the earlier in the night, so I grab it off the bedside table. I grab Cope and her crying seizes to whimpers. "Shh, it's okay. Let's not wake up Daddy Vic, okay?" And I don't know where that came from, shut up, I'm half asleep. But I'm grateful he's asleep.

I sit down on the bed and feed Cope her bottle. I almost fall asleep on her, but then her restless self wakes me up. "You're lucky I like you, even if it's only been a few hours that I've known you, but I've always liked kids. I always wanted a few of my own. And you'll do. But I do plan on telling you about your mother. She was really pretty to be honest. You'll probably be as gorgeous as her. And I'm talking to a baby," I say to myself, but Cope just stared up at me. Her eyes big and wide, like mine.

She opened her eyes early. It usually takes babies days to open them, but it's only been a few hours since she was born and her eyes were already open. That and all she sees are blurs of colors since her eyes aren't focused yet. She will only know it's me by my scent. I wonder if all she will see with Vic is brown since that's pretty much all the color he has... Oh, my God. I'm so racist. I pout at how mean I'm being.

She eventually falls back asleep and I place her back in her crib. "Goodnight, baby." I place a kiss on her forehead. Then I walk back to bed, knocking out as soon as my head hits the pillow.


The next time I wake up, Vic was out of bed and so was Cope. The panic I felt in my chest seizes since I'm pretty sure Copeland is with Vic. I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom and brush my teeth. When I walk out of the bedroom, I don't bother putting anything on. I'm too lazy. I just left on the shirt Vic gave me.

I walk downstairs and see Vic feeding Cope her bottle. That's all she'll be able to eat for a while. I walk to them and place a kiss on Cope's cheek, "Morning, Cope. Morning, Vic," I say, getting up from my crouched position. "Don't I get a kiss," he asks me, cockily. I ignore him, "What's for breakfast?"

"I haven't eaten. I woke up to Cope crying, so I just let you sleep in," he says, yawning afterwards. I nod. "Thank you. But do you want anything? I can make us breakfast." I had learned how to cook by teaching myself. When he wouldn't let me eat, I learned how to cook for myself while he was gone. "Anything's fine."

I nod and get to work. I get out three different pans - one for eggs, one for pancakes, and one for bacon. I start on the pancake batter first, I grab a bowl from the cabinet. I add the batter, milk, eggs, and stir it. When I see that it's not too thick, but not a liquid either. I turn on the stove and add the butter to keep the pancake from sticking to it. When it's hot, I pour the batter into the pan.

Then I start on the eggs. "Vic, how do you like your eggs?"

"It doesn't matter," he tells me. Sunny-side up it is. I crack the eggs and they fall onto the heated pan that had oil on it. I added two for me two for him. I turn back to the pancake and flip it onto the other side. I place a lid over the eggs to keep the heat in. Then I walk to the fridge and pull out tomatoes and peppers.

But before I do anything with those, I go back to the pancakes, the first one done and I place it on the plate. Then I add more butter to the pan and pour the batter to make the second pancake. I check the eggs and see that they're almost ready, so I lower the temperature.

When I turn around, I bump into Vic. "Cope finished her bottle, need help with anything?" I gape at him before nodding, "Can you start on the toast?" He nods and takes out the toaster and grabs the bread from the fridge. I check the eggs and they're ready, so I grab two plates and serve them. Then I place them on the counter and I check on the pancake, before flipping it.

When that's done with, I check on Cope and she had a pacifier in her mouth and she looked like she was sleeping. Good. I go back into the kitchen and I start cooking the bacon. While that's cooking, I place the second pancake on the plate. Then I add more butter and pour more batter into the pan. I grab the egg pan and place it in the sink and pour water into it.

"Kellin, how much toast do you want?"

"I just want two slices. You can make how many you want for yourself."

"Ok. What about when I'm done?"

"Add butter to them and then cut them into triangles." He nods and begins on his task. I check the bacon. "Vic, how do you like your bacon?"

"Well done, but not too crunchy." I nod, that's exactly how I liked my bacon. I check the pancake before flipping it. But then my wrist starts hurting. Shoot, I never wrapped it. "Hey, Vic, do you have anything to wrap my wrist in," I ask him.


"My wrist, it's starting to hurt. I used it too much cooking," I explain to him. He grabs my good wrist. "You should have told me," he says, angrily and I flinch. "Sorry, I just forgot about it." He sighs and pulls me into the bathroom. He opens the cabinet under the sink and pulls out a first aid kit. He takes out wrap and slowly and carefully wraps it around my wrist.

"You should have let me kill him," and I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. I really hope he was. "You know I can't do that." He chuckles, "Yeah, I know. You have the biggest heart ever." I smile, but then I remember the food and I run out of the bathroom and into the kitchen and check the bacon. Okay, that's good. Then I check the pancake. It was a little burnt, but other than that, it was fine. I place it on the plate and serve the now cooked bacon onto the plates with the eggs.

Then I grab a pancake and place it on the plate as well. It look gorgeous. I place the plates on the table and grab the plate full of toast and place it on the table as well. I also grab the crema from the fridge. I, then, pour us a glass of apple juice each. But before I sit down, I check on Cope and see she's still asleep. After breakfast, I'll have to wake her up and check her diaper.

I walk back into the kitchen and see Vic had placed a fork on my plate. I take my seat beside him and take a drink of the apple juice before digging in. Next to me, Vic groans at the taste of his first fork-full. "Where did you learn to cook like this," he asks after swallowing. Then I swallow, "Um, well, the person that hurt me, also starved me, so whenever he was out, I taught myself how to cook. That way I'd never starve. He also made me cook for him, and if I didn't, I'd get punished," I see Vic clench his fork.

"It's fine, Vic. I'm far away from him. And he can't hurt me anymore. I don't think you'd let him," I say, placing my hand on his. He seems to calm down a bit and nods. Then he takes another fork-full and I do the same. Every fork-full, I'd also take a bite of toast. Hmm, not bad. My cooking was really good.

When we finish breakfast, I start grabbing the plates, but Vic stops me, "It's fine. I'll wash them, you watch Cope." I nod and smile at him before walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. I grab her diaper, and it did feel a bit heavy. I place her back in her space-saver and run upstairs for a diaper and wipes. Then I run back downstairs.

I pick her up again and place her on the couch. I unbutton her onesie and open her diaper. I grab a wipe and start cleaning her, then placing it in the dirty diaper before closing it around the wipe. Then I put the clean diaper on her, closing the onesie as well. "There now you're all clean," I say in baby voice. I lay her down on her space-saver and turn the vibration on, and place the pacifier in her mouth.

Then I throw the diaper in the garbage. After washing my hands, I go back into the living room and see Vic already there, playing with Cope. He was playing peek-a-boo. Aw. I take a seat next to him and even though, she wasn't laughing, she had her eyes focused on him. Almost as if she could see him.

"When do babies start laughing," Vic asked me. "Around four months, they can smile, but they usually laugh at four months. Isn't that right, Cope," I ask, poking her nose and she smiles. "Yep," I respond to myself. "So, what are we doing today?"

"Well, I'll have to tell Mike and the gang about you and the baby since they still haven't gotten to know you. So there's that." I nod at him. "Ok. I'll go call Mike," and he pulls out his phone. When he leaves, I take his eat in front of Copeland. "I don't like Mike. He hit me... wow, did that sound childish. But really, my whole life I've lived with abuse and to come here and get abused even more. It's just... is that all I'll ever be good for? Being a human punching bag?

I know you don't understand me, but I just needed to get it off my chest and I don't trust Vic. Mmm, I'm scared, you know? Vic says he wants sex - you won't learn what that is until you're twenty, got it? - but anyway, he says he's going to want it eventually, but I'm a virgin and I'm not ready for that. Not emotionally or mentally or physically. My body is worn down.

And here I am, waiting for the day that my virginity will be forced from me. And what hurts is that Vic makes me believe he's becoming nice, but then he goes on does stuff like that. Why? If he ever wants me falling for him, he has to show his kind heart. I'm not saying stockholm wouldn't happen if Vic were to rape and abuse me. But wouldn't it better to fall for him because that's what my heart wants? Instead of stockholm where my brain will want it. Maybe that's just me.

I'm just glad he's nice to you. But then again, babies are never to blame. You don't have to live life in fear. No one should have to do that, but I do. I'm waiting for the day Vic snaps. Maybe I'll be the one to snap, you know? Finally end it all. But I can't do that. I don't even cut myself. I did once, long ago. But I regret it, but the scars are still there. It was only three slashes, but I swore to never do it again.

That's my story. Really depressing, to be honest. But it's mine. I guess the only thing I would change is the abuse. I would go through everything else, but the abuse. The only upside to the abuse was meeting Jesse, my best friend. Ooh, maybe you can meet him one day. If Vic let's that happen. He's really possessive which is weird because I'm not an object he can claim ownership over. Am I right," I ask her and she just stares.

"I taking that as a yes, just letting you know." Nothing, I was about to respond to her silence when Vic's voice cuts through, "Do you really feel that way?" I tense up. Had he really heard everything? I just poured my heart out and I didn't want him to hear anything. I look at him and he had this pained expression covering his features. I nod, "Yes," I whisper.

He nods, "Mike is on his way. He might freak out a bit, so just warning you," he says, his voice closing up. "Vic... it's okay."

"No, it's not. I-I've made you afraid of life." Shaking my head, I sigh and get up, walking to him. "No, the fear was already there," I say, and I hug him, something I never thought I'd do. He stays tense, but when I wrap my legs around him like I do with Jesse, he hugs me back, holding my legs up. I smile, If he's like this everyday, I'd fall sooner. I feel his body shake in laughter and I pull back to look at him, giving him a confused look. "You spoke your thoughts out loud again," and I blush.

When we hear the doorbell ring, I let go of him and walk to Cope. Vic goes to open the door. Almost immediately after Vic opens the door, do I hear yelling, "Where? Where is my niece?" And by the word niece, I knew it was Mike yelling. I look down at Cope and sees she's frowning. I walk out of the living room to the hall, "Mike, stop yelling, you're bothering Cope," I tell him before walking back to said baby.

I hear following behind me, then we he sees the space-saver, he runs to her. "Mike," I hiss. I look back and see Tony shaking his head and Vic rolling his eyes at his brother. "Mike, don't bother her," Vic says. Mike just gives him a mock-hurt look before turning back to Copeland. "Hi, baby girl. You're so cute! Oh, my gosh. She's a cute little thing," he says, making faces and using a baby voice.

Oh, God. Mike, stop embarrassing yourself. But then she starts crying and Mike looks at us, helplessly. I chuckle to myself before walking to Cope. I start bouncing her space-saver and she calms down. I didn't pick her up because you shouldn't carry babies too much. Mike gives me a surprised look. "How did you do that?"

"You place your hand on the chair and then start pushi - " he cuts me off. "That's not what I meant and you know it." I roll my eyes. "Fine. I knew she wasn't hungry, or had a dirty diaper, or sleepy because she just ate, I just changed her diaper, and she was just asleep, so I knew you scared her and I just started rocking her space-saver to calm her down." He gapes at me.

"Dude, you're incredible," and he bumps shoulders with me. I freeze and flinch away. I scoot away, before replying. "Thanks." He didn't seem to notice, but when I look at Vic, I know he did. I look to Cope and she was asleep, so I stop rocking her space-saver. "Mike, you won't believe what I found out today," Vic says.


"Kellin can cook. And better than mami." Mike gives him a surprised look. "Are you serious?" Vic nods.

"Damn, Kellin, you might just have to cook for me today." I shrug. "Why not? You'll just have to wait for lunch time," I answer, shrugging. I look to Tony and see he was sporting a fading bruise on his cheek. I get up and walk to him. We may have had some bad blood between us, but I would still have considered him my only friend here.

I feel Vic's eyes on me as I walk to Tony. When I'm in front of him, I raise a hand to his cheek and my fingertips skim over it. He winces in pain. "What happened," I ask him, and he lowers his gaze. He pulls me into a hug and I stay frozen before hugging him back. But the hug didn't last before I'm ripped from Tony's grip and they do the same to him. I look over at him and see Mike was holding him around the waist. He held Tony high up from the ground.

I look to Vic and he was doing the same to me. My feet weren't touching the ground. "What happened to Rule Number Three," Vic growls out at me. I lower my gaze, "I was just comforting him," I whimper out. I look over at Tony and Mike and Tony looked actually scared for once. I feel Vic's grip tighten as I try pulling away. Then Cope starts crying.

"Vic, baby, she's crying. Let me go," I beg him. His grip was starting to hurt. He let me and let me fall to the ground. I landed on my hands and knees. I pick myself up, but wince at the pain I feel in my abdomen area. I walk to Cope and see her pacifier had fallen out onto her blanket. I grab it and run under hot water before giving it back to her. But she still didn't stop crying. I pick her up and I start singing her a song.

"Is it naive to make plans,
That seem so far away.
We're too young to move this fast
And I think,
Dream of what may come.
Like heaven breathes you in.
Ooh, ooh, baby, you're the one.

Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.
Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.
This could mean everything or nothing,
But I know it's ours now.

Is it naive to make plans,
That seem so, so, so far.
I think let's not wait,
Let's love right now.
Let's love right now.

Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.
Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.

I'll whisper sweet things in your ear.
Tell you things that you should hear.
Oh, sweetheart, yeah, sweetheart,
You deserve much more.
Like loving arms to hold you close.
Listen when it matters most.
Oh, sweetheart, yeah, sweetheart.
You deserve much more.

I'll whisper sweet things in your ear.
Tell you things that you should hear.
Oh, sweetheart, yeah, sweetheart.
You deserve much more.

You deserve much more.

Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.
Lay me down.
And tell me everything will be alright.
Things will be alright.
This could mean everything or nothing,
But I know it's ours now."

She stops crying and was now just staring up at me. "Good girl," I coo. I lay her back down, giving her her pacifier. I keep humming the song, rocking her space-saver gently. When she's calm, Vic walks to me and picks me up again like he did when pulled me away from Tony. I wince when he picks me up, the grab before hurting me.

I look to Tony and Mike and they both had surprised looks on their faces. Tony getting out of his grip long forgotten. "What," I ask, blushing at the attention I was getting. Vic growls and they stop gaping. "Kellin, you have a beautiful voice," Tony says. Vic's growl gets louder, and I vaguely hear Mike doing the same.

"Ow, Mike," Tony whimpers trying to pull away from Mike. "Stop hurting him," I tell Mike, and then Vic grips tightens. I gasp and clench my eyes shut. It hurt a lot. "Vic," I gasp out in pain. He didn't loosen his grip, just  made it tighter. I struggle against his grip, tears building up in my eyes. "Stop hurting him," Tony calls out. That seemed to make Vic angrier and he dug his fingers into my skin. I scream out.

"Stop," Tony calls out before screaming out himself. "Stop it. Why are you doing this," I call out before feeling Vic dig his finger nails into my flesh. And I scream out. "Vic, stop." He simply glared at me. I kick him hard and he lets me fall. I land on my back and wince. He makes a grab for me, but I keep him back. I get up and run to Tony who copied my actions.

"Are you okay," I ask him. I look at the knocked out brothers. "Hold that thought, right now we run," I say, pulling him along. We both break into a run. But then I remember Cope. "Wait - Tony, we have to go back. Cope's there."

"Ok. I make the pañalera. You carry her," I just nod, even if I didn't understand what he said. I grab my baby girl, and he runs upstairs. Minutes later, he appears with Cope's bag, full of diapers, wipes, formula, clothes, and bottles. Along with a blanket and a small teddy bear. I nod at him and we run out of the house. "Where are we going," I ask him.

"Out of HQ. I have a small house a mile or so out of here. Come on," he says, leading the way. I follow, wrapping the blanket tighter around her, making sure she's asleep. We climb the fence and he jumps down first, and I hand him Cope. Then I jump down, and he hands me the bag. "Tony, do you have a phone," I ask him.

"No, but there's one at the house." I nod at him. Yes. We keep running, not stopping until we're deep in the woods and see the cottage hidden by the trees. He opens the cottage and I walk inside, placing the bag on the bed along with Cope. "Are you okay," I ask him. He nods, but I push him onto the couch and pull his shirt up. There were bruises forming. It wrapped all around his torso.

"He got you good," I say, examining it. "What about you," he asks me. I shrug, I've had worse. He gives me an unimpressed look. I sigh and raise my shirt and he gasps. I look down and see that the bruise also wrapped around my waist, but there was blood from where Vic dug his finger nails. He winces as he gets up, but does so anyway and walks into the kitchen, only to return with a wet cloth.

He hands it to me and I start cleaning the wounds. When I finish, I grab an ice pack for Tony and tell him to hold over the bruise. He nods and does as I say. "When can we go back," I ask him. "Probably later on today, say five or six." I nod.

"Tony, where's the phone," I ask, remembering I needed it. "Over there," he says, pointing to beside the bed. I grab the phone and dial Jesse's number. "Hey, Jesse."

"Hey, Kellin. How's everything?" Shoot, out of all questions! I can't lie to him, but I can't tell him the truth either or else he'll come here and force me to leave. "Um, everything is good, I'm with Vic's friend, Tony," I answer, not a lie.

"That's good." I talk with him for a while until he says something that shocks me, "Hey, Kellin. I'll be able visit in like two weeks, give or take a few days, okay?"

"Of course! I can't wait to see you! I have a surprise for you also."

"What is it?"

"Not telling. But I have to go now, bye!"

"Bye." I hang up and place the phone back where I found it. "Thanks for letting me use your phone," I tell Tony. "No problem." I nod and check the time. It was one, so I walk into the kitchen, ignoring the pain I felt. I start making Cope her formula. I wake her up and she starts fussing, but I giver her her bottle and she calms down.

I coo at her as she drinks the bottle. "That's a good girl. Yes you are." I pull the bottle away when she finishes it. I pick her up and pat her back to burp her. I smile when I hear the small burp come out of her mouth. I lay her back down and pat her stomach gently, making shushing noises. "Are you hungry," I ask him. A few hours had passed and I was getting hungry.

"Yes, actually." I nod and wince as I get up. I see Tony also wincing. Standing up and walking was a struggle for both of us. We make it into the kitchen and I search the fridge for something to make. He had spaghetti sauce. I went to check if he had pasta. I take it our whe I find it. "Do you have any kind of meat to make meatballs with?"

"Yeah, check the freezer." I nod and do as he says. I take it out when I find it. I open the package and start molding it into the shape I need it in. When I have the meatballs done, I place them in the pan with oil. Then I add the tomatoe sauce and cover them up. I place the noodles in the giant pan full of water and wait for them to soften.

When they're ready, I make Tony check on the meatballs while I checked the spaghetti. It was ready, so I start serving it after pouring the water out. When Tony tells me the meatballs are done, I serve them as well, making sure they're coated in sauce. I also add extra sauce to the spaghetti. Then I add a bit of sault.

"Here you go," I tell him. We had a bit of struggle sitting down, but did it. Then we started digging in. Tony starts praising my cooking, "Holy, Vic was right. You're cooking is amazing! Where did you learn to cook like this?" I shrug.

"I taught myself how."

"Well, you did a pretty good job. I wish I could cook this well. Man, I might just visit you for your cooking," he jokes and I laugh. "My friend, Jesse, most of the time, everytime I went over to his house, he made me cook him something. Always, he even begged."

"Wow. But I'm not surprised, Vic might just keep you around for you cooking. It's the best I've ever had and I've tried Vic's mom's cooking. You have her beat."

"Where is she, anyway?"

"Who? Vic's mom?" I nod. "She lives with the gang, her and her husband used to rule over it before Vic."

"Is she nice?"

He nods, "Oh, yeah. Nicest lady you'll ever meet. It's a shame, though. Her husband used to beat her and rape her as punishments, but she fell in love with him. I think it was stockholm, but she did. He loves her back, but I don't know if she ever forgave him for what he did to her. Vic was a rape-conceived baby, so was Mike. She only fell for him after she saw how gentle he could be."

I felt my mouth drop, Vic's father did that? "Is that why Vic always threatens me with punishments?"

"Probably. Mike was the same with me. He never hurt me to bad. Just a punch, kick, sometimes whip. He stopped when he realized just how badly it was effecting me. I was scared of the human touch, I flinched everytime I heard his voice. I apologized for every little thing, even if it wasn't my fault. And my past events made it worse. It was really bad.

He saw what his beatings were doing to me. So he stopped, and he spent the year showing me how sorry he was. Eventually, I realized he had changed, and I fell in love. Maybe it was the stockholm, but I do love Mike. But he and Vic are just alike - they're both possessive, jealous, over-protective. And they say they'll make sure nothing ever hurts you, but sometimes they're the ones who cause us the pain." Tony wasn't from the truth there.

"Tony, how did you ever end up in this gang?"

"I came here the same way you did. Except I was raped by my father many times, he also beat me a lot. He had kicked me out because he said I was of use no more. And I lived on the streets for a while until I stumbled upon HQ, they couldn't afford anyone knowing where they resided, so they kept me.

Vic was going to kill me, but Mike wanted me. Vic let it happen. I was taken to Mike's house, and that's where I became his slave. One time, he was going to rape me, and from my past, I knew I had to take it. But when he saw how blank I was about the whole thing, he asked why I wasn't freaking out and I told him I was used to it.

He made me put on all my clothes and he never tried again. But if I were to do something bad, I would get punished, and it brought back memories, so I would freak out a lot and he stopped altogether. And we fell in love. What's your story?" And I knew I should tell him, he just told me all of his.

"Well, my mom died when I was really young. She was hit by car and so I had lived with my dad. They were together and very much in love, he raised me like he should, but did he understand me? Oh, no. I don't think so. Sometimes I feel like he never gave a damn about me because one day, he just left. Like that.

When child services found out, I was sent to my uncle and I lived with him since I was fourteen. He was the one who abused me non-stop. He was a single man and he always had some girl over. He always told me to leave whenever one was around, so I went to Jesse's house.

I met Jesse in kindergarten when a third grader decided to beat me up. He stood up for me and we've been friends since then. He found out about my uncle when I was eighteen and he begged me to leave, but I didn't. I did everything for my uncle - I cooked, I cleaned, I paid the bills, I went to college. And sometimes he starved me. And up until now, that I'm twenty-two, I've lived with him. I only ran away because he tried to rape me.

I was cooking dinner in the kitchen, cooking like every night. And I was reaching up for a bowl to serve the stew in. My shirt raised a bit, exposing my torso and then I feel a hand start rubbing it. I grab it, pushing it away and turn around to face who had touched me. I gasp when I see it was my uncle. "Uncle, the stew's almost ready," I tell him, nervously.

"That's not what I'm in the mood for." I flinched at his cold voice. "What are you in the mood for, Uncle," I stutter, nervously. But his answer chilled me to the bone. Never would I have expected that to come from his disgusting mouth. "You." I gape at him. "You've grown into quite a handsome young man, Kellin. Very attractive. Plus, you have this feminine touch to you," he says, taking steps closer to me. I backed away until my back hit the counter top.

He placed both his hand at my sides and turned me around so my back was to him. He started raising my shirt and I struggled against him, but he ignored it. He grabbed my butt and started rubbing it and I felt tears prickle my eyes. I froze when I heard his belt buckle come undone and his pants fall at his feet. He pulls me so my body was flush against his and I blushed when I felt his erection. He starts unbuttoning my jeans.

That's when I start freaking out, I struggle against him and I managed to hit his face. He dropped me and I started crawling away, but he grabbed my legs and pulled me back. I scream out in fear. He pulled me until I was under him and I try pushing him away, but he wouldn't budge. I started grabbing for anything, and I managed to grab a frying pan. I hit him on the head with it. He was knocked out.

I run upstairs to my room and grab my journal. Then I burst through the door, the cold, hard wood bruising my skin. I run all the way to Jesse's house. Jesse takes me to the bus station and I'm off to Mexico. When I get here, I realized, I had nowhere to stay, so I called Jesse. Then Jesse tells me that he had called a friend to go pick me up, but he never showed, so I started walking around. I stepped onto Pierce The Veil's land and here I am." I say, wiping at the few tears that escaped my eyes.

"Does Vic know all this?" I shake my head.

"Does Mike know all this?" He shakes his head. "Man, are we fucked up or what," I ask, laughing. "Dude, I think we're worse than fucked up." And we spent our time laughing. I wipe away other tears that fall and I see Tony do the same. Tony checks his watch and sighs, "We should be heading back." I nod, sadly.

I grab Cope off the bed and Tony packs all her belongings into the bag. Then we start walking back to HQ after Tony locks up the house. We took our time to get there and instead of climbing the fence, we just used the gates. On our way to the house, we bump into one of Tony's friends. "Jaime!"

"Tony!" And he starts walking towards us. "Jaime, this my friend, Kellin. Kellin, this is Jaime. My first friend here. He's known Vic since birth," he says, when Jaime reaches us.

"Kellin? The famous Kellin that is Vic's, you could say, lover?" Tony nods.

"Yeah, except for the fact that Kellin doesn't love him like that. But they have a kid together. Her name's Cope. But we have to run along. Bye, Jaime."

"Bye, Kellin and Tony," he calls as we start walking again. "Jaime's a really nice guy, a big joker."

"He seems nice."

"He is...," a pause. "Kellin, do you think we should tell Vic and Mike our pasts?" And I contemplate it. Maybe if we did, they'd be nicer towards us knowing what we've been through. I set my lips into a straight line. "Honestly, yes. But we should do it tomorrow. After we've let off some steam," and just as I say that, we reach Vic's house.

"I'm scared to go inside," I say. "I know same here," Tony says, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. I flinch as he opens the door, but walk inside all the same. I don't see anyone home, "Tony, come on. Let's go put all of Cope's things," I tell him and we walk upstairs. I open the bedroom door and don't see anyone.

I place Cope in her crib and help Tony unpack all her things. I put away all her diapers, bibs, bottles. When we finish, I lay on the bed and wince at the pain I felt on waist and abdomen. "You too," Tony asks and I nod. "Yes, it's killing me. We should go get more ice." He nods and I get up, ignoring the pain.

When we reach the stairs, on the first step, I knew this would take a while. With every step, I would give a small groan or whimper or cry out in pain. I heard Tony going through the same. On the step third from the ground, I almost fell over at how badly it was hurting. "Kellin, are you okay," Tony asks me. I nod, stiffly. But we continue on.

Finally we reached the ground, walking wasn't as painful as stairs. But there were times where it would hurt. Tony tells me to sit - I do - and he returns with an ice pack. "Ok, let's see how bad it," he says, and I raise my shirt. I gasp at what I see, my abdomen was swelling, the wounds had reopened and I was bleeding, the bruises were really purple. "Ok. Ew, here, put this on," he says, handing me the pack of ice. I place it gently on my abdomen.

I see Tony raise his shirt and place an ice pack over his bruise. I feel myself relax until I hear Vic's voice ring out, "Kellin." I freeze, but turn to look at him. "Come here," he commands and I sigh, but remove the ice and get up, wincing. Then I start walking towards Vic until I'm right in front of him. And all was quiet until a loud smack was all we heard.

My head was turn to the side and my cheek was on fire. Ok, I probably deserved that. "Hey!" Tony's voice rings out. "Don't hurt him," and I turn to face him just to see him get up from his seat, wincing a bit. "It's fine, Tony. It's not anything I'm not used to," and he stays quiet, knowing exactly to what I was refering to. Vic apparently knew to because he was turning me around to face him, "You told him?!"


"How much does he know?"

"As much as Jesse." And Vic stays quiet at that, knowing that meant Tony knew everything. Then I remembered, "Vic, Jesse says he should be coming in two weeks or so," and I see his jaw clench, but he nods. He knows that Jesse wouldn't hesitate to take me back, not caring that that would mean war with Vic's gang.

Vic grabs my arm and starts leading me upstairs. I feel my blood run cold. What was he going to do? He opens our bedroom door and slams the door shut. I wince and I run to check on Cope, ignoring the pain that came with running. I sigh in relief when I see she's still asleep. I run my thumb over her cheek.

It's so sad that her mother died and at such a young age. Katelynne was gorgeous. I wonder why she was out and about, especially in her condition. She seemd frightened when I met her, well, she knew she was about to die. But she entrusted her baby to a complete stranger. She must have been desperate. I could have been a killer, rapist, abusive. But she was so dead-set on making sure her baby was as far away from her as possible. Wonder why.

When I turn back to face Vic, I bump into him instead. He was right behind me. I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear him come up behind me. I lower my gaze from his cold stare, are we back to me being scared of him? "Kellin?"

"Yes," I mumble.

"Look at me," and my eyes lashes flutter up as I look at him. "Where were you?"

"I don't know if I can tell you that."

"Kellin," he says angrily, and I flinch.

"I'm being serious. I don't know if I can tell you." He raises his hand and I expect to be hit again, so I clench my eyes shut and lower my head. "Kellin... Kellin, I'm... I'm not going to hurt you. Just please stop being so afraid of me." And I open my eyes to look at him. He rubs his hand on my cheek - the one he hit - and sighs. "Go to sleep, Kellin. You need rest." I nod and go lay in the bed and my body immediately relaxes. Vic sits next to me and he starts humming a song, until he starts singing.

"Waking up your neighbors downstairs,
I've been inside your bedroom a thousand years.
And as you tie me to the bed for good, I say,
That I want you in the most unromantic way.

Louisiana, you're torturing me with a beautiful face.
Ana, come on, I thought we had a damn good thing,
A penny in the couch and a diamond ring.

Stay - " and I lose conciousness.

The next time I wake up, Vic is in a chair, holding Cope in his arms. She was cooing at Vic. "When did she wake up," I ask him, getting out of bed. He didn't look at me as he answered, "Like an hour ago," I nod. "How long was I asleep for?"

He didn't answer straight away, so I took that as the time to get up out of bed. And just as I stood up, he spoke, "A couple hours. It's nine right now." And I almost tumble down at how surprised I was. I must have been more tired than I thought. "Where are Tony and Mike?"

"Downstairs, Tony said you guys had to tell us something important." Oh, we're doing that today? I nod. "I already changed Cope's diaper, by the way, and fed her."

"Thank you," I say, and we start walking downstairs. When we reach the living room, Tony runs up to hug me. "Thank God, you're okay. I thought Vic had done something to you." I hug him back. "Nothing happened, he just told me to go to sleep."

"Yeah, he told me. But I didn't believe him, so I went up to your room and you were sleeping."

"And what's the news we're telling them?"

"You know what news. I just feel like we should tell them now. Seeing Vic hit you, I realized it was time." I nod at him and pull back. When I look at the Fuentes brothers and see they were both glaring, but didn't make a move to attacking us. "Why aren't they attacking us," I whisper in his ear.

"Funny story, they were watching us as we got the ice and also, Vic looked at the damage of what he caused while you were asleep. Mike looked at mine. They realized they hurt us bad," he whispers back. I nod and pull back. We walk to Vic and Mike and tell them to sit down. "Who's going first," I ask.

"Do you want to go first?" I shake my head. "Ok, I'll go first, then." And Tony starts explaining everything from his mother leaving to when his father first raped him, to the second time, the first beating, broken bones. His father selling him to other men. I close my eyes, letting silent tears fall. He told them about when his father kicked him out. He told them everything, and they stayed silent. I take the chance of opening my eyes, and see they their mouths were agape. Mike looked to have tears in his eyes.

"Ok. That's my story. Kellin, your turn." I nod and clear my throat before speaking. And I told them everything. From when my mom died to when my dad left. Then to when I went with my uncle. When he first beat me, I told them all his torture methods, every weapon he used. I told them how it lasted eight years. When Jesse found out, how he begged me to leave. And that night that I ran away, I told them how he tried to rape me. When I grabbed my book and ran. How on the run, I fell and he tried to rape me again. How I escaped, I even told them when Jesse kissed me. And how I ended up in Mexico and in the gang.

By the time I was finished, Vic was close to tears and Mike and Tony were holding each other close. "Well, that's my story. Who's hungry," I ask, getting up. Vic grabs my wrist - the injured one - and I whimper. He lets go immediately. He gives Mike and Tony a look, and they nod. Tony comes hug me, "Bye, Kellin."

"Bye, Tony." Mike nods in parting and they leave. I stood there awkwardly, waiting for Vic to do something. "Kellin, I...," he couldn't speak. "It's fine, Vic. You didn't know. And I'm far away from him. Sure you hit me, but you haven't done anything as bad as he has. I'm fine. It's fine," I correct myself because I was most certainly not fine. He doesn't do anything for a while, just stares at me. But then he hugs me and pulls me close.

He cups the back of my head with one hand and the other he wraps around me and pulls me close. He digs his face deep into my shoulder and breathes in my scent. I close my eyes, hugging him back, and wrap my legs around him. He hoists me up with the one hand. The other he used to run circles into my back. "I'm so sorry, Kellin."

"It's okay, Vic." And for now, it was. Until Cope decided to start crying. I pull back and climb off Vic. He reluctantly let me go. I start climbing the stairs and walk into our room. I walk to Cope's crib and pick her up. "What's wrong, baby?" She just continued crying. And when I place my hand under her, I felt it. She had used the "bathroom."

I lay her on the bed and take a diaper and wipes. I undo her onesie and open her diaper. God, this stuff was deadly. "God, what died in here," Vic asks, after entering the room himself. "Your daughter decided to go number 2." He gaped at me. "What?"

"You just said she was my daughter," and I blush, realizing I did say that and I distract myself with cleaning her. "I mean, what I meant is - " he cuts me off. "If she's my daughter, where does that put you? Also, I heard you this morning call me 'Daddy Vic'." My blush darkens.

"If I'm Daddy Vic, does that make you Mommy Kelly," he asks smirking. I glare at him. "Well, Daddy Vic, since you're making fun of me, you can throw away here diaper," I say, and hand it to him. "Eww, it's warm," he says, but throws it in the garbage can. When he comes back, Cope was already in her new diaper and her onesie was closed.

"But seriously, you're the mom." I gape at him.

"What? How am I the mom?"

"Because you're more feminine, you can calm her down, you change her diapers, you cook, you clean, you watch over her more than I do, and you got attached quickly." And I blush, knowing he's right. "Shut up, Vic."

"You only say that because you know I'm right, Kelly," he says, using that girl name. "Whatever, Viccy," my face felt like it was on fire.

"Aww, you're blushing. But don't worry, our daughter is beautiful and I know you're the prettiest mom ever." Curse you, Vic, curse you for making me blush. He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. "I want to see JLaw's expression, though. See how he reacts to us having a daughter," and I laugh, knowing Jesse will be hysterical. "Oh, my God, yes! He'll probably faint." That causes Vic to laugh.

"But on a serious note, we are going to talk about your past mkre thoroughly. But for now, Cope needs to eat and you are going back to bed. You've been through enough for today," Vic says, sternly. "Ok." He takes Cope and leaves the room. I change into the t-shirt I always wear and get under the covers, falling asleep.

But later in the night, I feel Vic get into the bed as well, in my sleepy daze. And just before I go back into unconciousness, I feel him wrap an arm around my waist and pull me to him. And I don't know if I was still half asleep to notice or if I enjoyed his arm around me, but I didn't push it away.

Chapter Text

Chapter Ten:

Today was the day my baby girl would have her first bath. She has never had a proper bath, I would just wash her with a wet cloth. I couldn't wash her because I had to wait for the umbilical stump to fall off and it finally has! She was going to get her first official bath. I'm so excited.

It's been a month and Jesse had to cancel his plans of coming. He's coming next week, though. So I'm excited for that, but he still doesn't know Cope exists. He apologized thoroughly, and though Vic comforted my heartbreak at hearing that, I could tell he was okay with Jesse not coming. Actually being okay with it is an understatement, he was estatic.

I had just finished serving Vic breakfast and I grabbed my baby, climbing up the stairs to the bedroom. I place her in her crib and I grab the baby bathtub from the closet. I walk into our bathroom and place it in the tub. I turn on the water making sure it was warm, not to cold and not too hot.

Then I walk back into the bedroom. I start grabbing Cope's baby shampoo, her clothes, diaper, baby powder, her bar soap, and her towel with that hood. It was a little lion towel! When it's set up - the shampoo, baby bar soap, and towel in the bathroom and the clothes, diaper, and baby powder in the bedroom on the bed - I start undressing Cope. She was fussing a bit, but I got it done.

I walk into the bathroom with a naked baby and I place her in her tub. She shrieked at feeling the water. "Aww, Cope, it's okay. It's just water," I say, cooing at her. I use my hand to hold her up by the shoulder - not too hard - and the other to drop water on her head. Then begin singing.

"There is no doubt tonight.
I'm falling, I'm falling so,
In love with how you are to me.
For you, I would give anything.
Try and be a man.
I'm falling, I'm falling so,
So far from what I thought was clear.
No there's no turning back from here."

She was whimpering at the water and I realized my baby was not going to like baths. I start singing again to calm her since that's what I do in the shower. I have a feeling my life is going to have me singing a lot more in it.

"Now that we have the world in front of us.
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me.
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

I let her back hit the baby tub as I open the Johnson shampoo and pour a bit into my hand. Then I rub it into her scalp gently. Her whimpering lessened, but I knew she didn't like taking a bath.

"Too many times I fall,
I'm falling, I fall apart.
I'm so concerned with pity things.
They drag me farther down.
Why do we run from things we're scared of?
I see it now, it's all so clear.
No there's no turning back from here."

Then I grab the baby bar soap and rub it all over her tiny body. I used my soap covered hands to clean her toes.

"Now that we have the world in front of us.
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me.
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

When I finish with the soap, I start dropping water onto her, removing the body soap. Then when that's done, I cup water and drop it on her head, but I made sure no shampoo got in her eyes. Johnson says it won't cause tears, but that's all lies.

"What are you scared of?
(And if there's nothing left, at least I'll know whats left of me)
What are you running from?
(No there's no looking back, I'm not running).
What is it that you're afraid of?
Tell me what is it you're running from?"

I was extra careful when washing her nice, soft face. She looked up at me, begging me with her eyes - that look a lot like mine, to be honest - to get her out.

"Now that we have the world in front of us,
We're never turning back.
How could we ever not believe?
Now that I have the world in front of me,
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
I love the thought
What this all could mean
You're the only good thing left in me.
Now that I have the world in front of me,
I'm never turning back.
How could I ever let this go?
Let this go."

When that's done, I grab her towel and wrap her around it. "See, that wasn't so hard, Cope," I say, picking her up. When I turn, I see Vic had a phone in his hand and he was smirking.

"You didn't!"

"Oh, but I did. I sent it to Mike and my parents." I glare at him and mumble, "Jackass," under my breath. "Vic, can you dump the water out?" He nods. I walk into the room and lay Cope on the bed. I rub baby lotion on her and then I place the diaper under her, but before closing it up, I put the baby powder on her. Then I put on her onesie that were like footie pajamas because I knew she'd be cold.

I walk into the bathroom and comb the little bit of hair she has. When I finish, Vic comes up to us. "Aw, look at my baby girl, all clean," he gushes and she smiles. Vic takes her in his arms. "Kellin, you go eat. I'll play with her for a while." I nod because I haven't eaten. I walk into the kitchen and serve myself breakfast. I had made an omelet full of ham and cheese. Then I stick it in the microwave.

Vic appears with Cope in his arms and he was holding her stuffed bear. "So did she like her bath," Vic asks me, smirking.

"You video-taped the whole thing. You should know!" He just laughs at me. When the microwave goes off, I take out the omelet and grab a fork from the drawer. When take my first forkful, I speak, "You know, Vic? I want you to sing me for again." He freezes.

"What do you mean 'again'?"

"Exactly what it means. You sang for me a month ago, and I haven't heard you sing since then."

"What? When? How did the song go?" I sigh, but I remembered every word. It was beautiful. Too beautiful to forget it.

"Ok. It went like this.
Waking up your neighbors downstairs,
I've been inside your bedroom a thousand years.
And as you tie me to the bed for good, I say,
That I want you in the most unromantic way.

Louisiana, you're torturing me with a beautiful face.
Ana, come on, I thought we had a damn good thing,
A penny in the couch and a diamond ring.

Stay - and there's where I fell asleep." I say, frowning. He looks embarrassed. "Oh, I thought you were asleep the whole time I sang that to you," he says.

"So when are you going to sing for me again?"

"Never." I pout, "But why?"


"Meanie," I say, and eat another forkful. Huh, it was actually pretty good. My cooking has gotten better. "Hey, Vic, how was breakfast?"

"Delicious, as always." I smile and blush at that. Ever since a month ago, Vic has made it his mission to make me blush because he learned I blush easily. It's been terrible. But he's been nicer, gentler. If he ever raises his voice, it hasn't been at me. And he's stopped all those... sexual wishes. The most he does is peck my cheek or forehead and just hug me, digging his face into my neck. But he hasn't gone further than that which I'm grateful for.

Throughout the month, Tony and I have gotten closer and I Skyped with Jesse so they could meet. Vic was still very jealous over that fact, but he put up with it. Jaime and I talked more and he's a hilarious guy. But when it came to Cope, he was just as embarrassing as Mike. Jesse hasn't met him yet, I want them to, though. I want Jesse to meet all my friends here. Speaking of friends, Jack was fine. Jesse even let him stay permantely.

I talked to Austin and Alan, Alan was a really sweet guy, kind of dorky, but he and Austin looked so happy together. I was seriously happy they had each other. Vic might let them visit also. I talked to Austin on the phone or we Skyped.

But when it came to Vic's job. I didn't ask questions and he never did his business here, so I was okay with it. As long as he didn't bring that life style in front of Cope, I was fine with it. As long as I didn't see any of it happen or hear it, I would tolerate it. I could forget the fact that Vic was a gang leader as long as he didn't do any of his gang stuff around me. But he was going to a drug dealing thing tomorrow, so yeah, wasn't estatic for that.

He says he doesn't do the drugs, like Jesse doesn't, they just interact with them. And so far, I have no choice but to believe him, he hasn't proven me otherwise. I also got introduced to the gang, so they all know me as Vic's partner. Which is kind of awkward because some of them ask me, "How's the sex?" I blush uncontrollably, and Vic glares at them until they walk away. Who asks that? Like seriously! Yeah, not fun. But life here isn't terrible. I like it. It sure is better than my life was in Michigan.

"Are we doing anything today," I ask. He thinks about it. "Do we or Cope need anything?" It was my turn to think. We had plenty of food, "Oh, Cope needs more diapers and wipes," I say. He nods, "We'll go get those, then. Except this time, you're not leaving my side," he says, referring to what happened last time we went to a store and he left me alone. "Ok."

We start walking to the garage and he picks a random car. I place Cope in her carseat, covering her with a blanket. I place the pañalera in the seat beside her. Then I climb into the passenger seat, putting on my seatbelt. Vic gets into the driver'a seat, turning on the car. Vic frives out of HQ and he goes on the familiar road to Wal*Mart.

I was kind if hesitant to go back in there. What happened last times was haunting me. What if it happens again and I don't get away this time? No, Kellin, no bad thoughts. Nothing good ever comes from you getting lost in your thoughts. I turn back to look at Cope, my baby was one month old now.

For a whole month, I raised her with Vic. Vic spoiled her rotten, he bought her so many toys, clothes, shoes, accessories. He was so gentle and sweet with her, it showed me there was some good in Vic. Everytime she cried at night, we'd both wake up, but he would let me sleep in while he took care of her. Like a few nights ago, we had woken up to crying.

I sat up in bed and was about to slide out of it, but Vic wrapped an arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, "Go to sleep, I'll check on her." I was still half asleep, but I managed to put together a sentence.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's fine." And he pushed me back into the bed, getting out of bed. I nodded slightly and I went back to sleep. It was nice of him to do that and he's been doing that for a while now too. Not that I'm complaining because I am greatful for that. Just why?

When we pull up the Wal*Mart, Vic goes around back and grabs Cope.  We walk into the store together. I subconciously grab his hand in mine, immediately feeling safer. He smiles a bit at our intertwined hands before turning to face me. "It's okay, Kellin. Remember, this time I'm not leaving your side." I nod at him.

We reach the baby isle and I grab a packet of diapers, placing them in the cart. "Should we take two packs or just one," I ask Vic. He contemplates it. "I think two since we're going to be bathing her now, plus changing her diaper." I nod and grab another one placing it in the cart as well.

After a while of shopping for baby things, Vic hands her to me and his body grew tense. I place a hand on his shoulder, "Vic, what's wrong," I ask him, walking to stand in front of him. He grabs me by the waist and pulls me closer to him. "Woah," I gasp at the fast movement. I look at his face and see he was staring over me and glaring. I try to turn around to look at who he saw, but he wouldn't loosen his grip.

It didn't hurt, it was just a strong grip. "Kellin, grab the cart and go to the next isle," and I stare at him in confusion, but do as he says. I hear him following behind me. When we're in the middle of the isle, I turn around and look at Vic. "What happened?" He was glaring at the ground before shifting his gaze to look at me.

"Nothing," he grumbles.

"Vic, I know you saw something or someone."

"It was nothing. Let's just go home," he says, and starts pushing the cart to the check out. But I stayed in place, I wanted to know what happened, and I want to know now. "No, Vic. Not until you tell me what happened," I say, standing my ground. I see Vic stop, his back and shoulders tensing up. He turns around and walks over to me. He stared me down and I felt afraid for the first fime in forever. I was afraid of Vic.

"Who do you think you are to defy me," he snaps and I wince at his tone. He grabs my wrist and I whimper in his grip. It was tight, I practically felt the bruise forming. "Vic, you're hurting me," I tell him, panicking. His grip didn't lessen, he just started pushing the cart with one hand. He was walking hastily and his grip tightened every now and again whenever someone appeared out of nowhere.

"Vic, please, you're hurting me," I tell him. But he didn't listen. Cope was oblivious to everything happening, but I bet she could sense my discomfort. She was getting restless. "Shh, it's okay, baby," I murmur to her. I feel Vic's grip tighten and he didn't loosen it even at the check out, not when he paid, not when we walked to the car, and not even when he put away the diapers in the trunk.

He only let me go so I could place Cope in her car seat. I was trembling as I got into the passenger seat. My hands were shaking as I put on my seat belt and if Vic noticed, he didn't say anything. I'm scared to what will happen when we get home. I sat trembling in my seat, trying to stop it.

I feel myself start shaking worse when HQ is within my eye range. When we enter, I look at him and he had a nuetral expression on his face. I face the front again and he enters the garage. He parks the car, and turns to look at me. "Grab Cope, I'll take the diapers." I nod at him and do as he says.

When we walk to the house, the shaking came back. It stopped when I picked up Cope. I tried to make it as subtle as I could. Cope was sleeping so she didn't notice, I don't know if Vic has, though. I walk upstairs and place her in her crib, I hear Vic putting away the diapers. When I'm done, I look at my wrist and sigh. There in fact a bruise forming, but it's bad one.

I wrap my hand around it and wince, yeah, it was a bad one. I walk into the bathroom and get out wrap to put pressure on it. I won't bother putting ice on it, just cover it up. Maybe if it hurts too much, I might put ice. I turn around and bump into Vic's chest. "Sorry," I mumble. He doesn't reply. I try walking around him, but he pulls me back. That activates my fear, what is he going to do?

I look at his face, but he had no expression. I try to escape his grip, but it just tightens, not enough to hurt me, but enough to make sure I can't get away. He leads me back into the bedroom and pulls me to the bed. Is he going to rape me?! "Kellin, I know what you're thinking and no, I'm not about to rape you," he says, speaking for the first time in ever. My posture relaxes. He sits me on the bed.

"I was going to tell you Aussie is coming."

"Who's Aussie?"

"Oh, right. You call everyone by name. Austin." And I break into a grin. "Really?"

"Yes." I was all giggly inside. Sure, it wasn't Jesse, but Austin was a close second. "When?" He checks the time, "A few minutes." I squeal. I jump up from the bed and run to the stairs. I skid a bit, but then I run down the stairs. I run out the front door and I see Austin walking up the sidewalk. "Austin!" He turns to look at me and smiles. "Kellin!" I run to him and hug him close.

He hugs back and we just stayed in our embrace until someone clears their throat. I look at said person and see he was Alan. I remembered from the picture Austin showed me. He didn't look jealous, so I guess the hug didn't bother him. Wish Vic were like that. "You're Alan!" I say. "Yeah, I'm guessing Austin showed you the picture of us that he has in his wallet." I nod. That and the fact we skyped.

"He was right, though. You are even more adorable in person," he squeals, pinching my cheeks. I blush a bit at the compliment. "I can't believe Vic let us visit you," Austin says. "I didn't know until just now," I tell them. "How are you and Vic now?" The question catches me off guard because how were Vic and I.

"I like to think we're friends. I mean, we've gotten a long better now and he hasn't tried to rape me. Plus, we have a daughter together - "

"You - what?" Austin asks, incredious. I laugh realizing how that must sound. "Oh, she's not ours biologically. But I found her just as her mother died and we took her in. Named her Copeland, Cope for short, and she's one month old now."

"Is she cute," Alan asks, bouncing in place.

"The cutest little thing you'll ever meet," I hear Vic say from behind me. I whirl around to face Vic. Just to see him standing right behind me. "How long have you been there," I ask. "Long enough. Now come on, let's go inside," he says, walking back to the house, everyone following him.

When we get back to the house, Alan whistles. "I have never been to Vic's house before, but I wish I had. This house is gorgeous," he says, looking around. "Why haven't you been here before," I ask him, noticing Vic and Austin exiting the room to another.

"Austin didn't want me to get involved with his gang business because he doesn't want me to be put in any kind of danger, but I begged him to let me meet you, so here I am."

"Oh. Makes sense. From what I could tell when he talked about you, he's really in love with you." Alan lets out a laugh. "Well, that's a relief because I really love him too."

"I'm happy for you guys. I can see you guys have genuine feelings for each other and it's really a beautiful thing."

"Thank you, Kellin. Austin saved me, you know?"


"I was about to get killed. My father was holding a gun to my head in an alley, but Austin showed up and knocked my dad out. I've been with him ever since, and a year later, we were together."

"Why did your dad do that?"

"I'm not sure, I think it had to do with mom leaving him. He blamed me because he thinks I chased her away. And a few years later, my dad found me. Austin didn't kill him the night we met because I begged him not to, that man was still my father. We let him live and Austin invited me back to his gang where I have been evr since.

Now, my dad got help and he got over it, but Austin never lets me visit him." That's intense, but does everybody here have a sob story?

"Does it bother you?"

"Not really. He abused me most of my life and almost killed me. Besides, I owe Austin for saving me, and if this is his charge, I'll go through with it." And I find that admirable, choosing love over family. It shows how much he believes in Austin's love.

"Hey, Alan, why does everybody here have such a sad becoming?"

"Because they need an escape, and when you have no money or family, your best bet is joining a gang." I guess that made sense. "So, what's your story, Kellin?" And I explain it to him, summed up, like he did me. He lets out a low whistle, "Wow, that's crazy. I'm just lucky my dad never raped me." I nod at him.

"Yeah, same, except it's my uncle. But I'm still a virgin."

"You're a virgin?" I nod, just to see him smirk. "Ooh, Kellin. Vic hasn't popped your cherry?" I blush, shaking my head. "Has he tried?" This question wasn't asked jokingly, he was being serious. I nod. "Oh. Austin was the same. He never did rape me because when he took my virginity, I was willing, but he did try." I urge him to continue.

"When I went with him, it wasn't free will. He told me he'll spare my father if I went with him. So I did and I hated it. He had all these stupid ground rules, he acted like he owned me, and he wasn't always sexual, but he would hold me close, sniff me, sometimes he roll my sleeve down and kiss my shoulder. Back then, I felt like vomitting, but now I love it."

"Vic's done all that! But what made you change your view on Austin?"

"Funny story, actually. I was on a walk, it was around the time where I didn't hate him as much as I used to. I'd say we were aquaitances. Anyway, it was around the time he'd let me walk around the gang place thing. But some of the members were paid by my dad to kill me, too bad they had other plans." I was scared to find out what those plans were.

"They had tortured me - whipping, burning, kicking, all that. And one of them was about to rape me, but Austin came and killed them all. I wasn't too happy at that. I kind of yelled at him, telling him I would rather have gotten raped than living another day with a murderer. I was shaking in fear, bruised and burned. I thought he was going to hit me, but instead, he just carried me back to the house.

He showed me his gentle side, he cleaned me up, bandaged me, made me sleep, cooked, sang. And on one of the days where I would have nightmares and start crying, he ran into my room and told me a cheesy pick up line. It was so stupid it made me laugh. How'd it go," he asks himself, trailing off. He looked deep in thought, but then a voice cuts through the silence.

"How much does the polar bear weigh?" We both turn to look at Austin, standing at the doorway. Alan smiles, "That's the one. He asked me that, and I looked at him like he was an idiot, which he is. But anyway, he told me..."

"Enough to break the ice," Austin fills in.

"Yeah, and I tried to keep a straight face, but failed. And that night, I kissed him. And that's how our relationship blossomed."

"Awwww. That's so cute. But, Alan, you call that a funny story?!" I ask him.

"It's funny to me."

"It wasn't to me," Austin says, wrapping his arms around his husband. Vic appears a bit later. "Well, Austin and I have this meeting to go to. Watch Cope, I'll be back in a few hours. Bye, Kellin. Alan."

"Bye," I mumble. Then they both walk out. "Come on, Alan. Let's go check on Cope," I tell him, walking upstairs. He runs up the stairs, passing me. Then he waits, bouncing in his steps. "Why are you so excited," I ask him when I reach the top of the stairs.

"Because I get to meet the baby!"

I walk to our bedroom door and let Alan in. He walks in, calmly, for once, and walks towards the crib. When he sees her, he lets out a small, "Aw." I smile. "She's cute, isn't she," I ask him.

"More like adorable. How old is she?"

"About a month."

"How'd you get her?"

"Oh, um, I found her mom as she was about to die. Then I ran back here." That topic was always strange, but she'll have to know when she's older, and I'll have to be the one to tell her because I'm the one who found her. But she'll know when she's older. I'm not going to keep something as big as that from her.

"That's tough. Did you get her mother's name?"

"Her name was Katelynne. She was gorgeous, to be honest. I wonder why she was out in the woods, especially in her condition. Plus, not to be racist, but she was white. And I'm wondering why she was in Mexico, you know?"

"I get it. You're curious. It's kind of picking at my interest, as well."

"Yeah. But I plan on telling Cope when she's old enough to understand, you know? I don't want to keep something this big from her. I feel like she has the right to know how she came to be with us."

"That's good. She does have the right to know. I'm sure she'll appreciate it when you tell her the truth." We spent the rest of the day with Cope. Alan had asked if he could carry her after our conversation, and I agreed. He was currently talking to her. But she just stared at him. I let out a silent chuckle.

He adjusts her in his arms before looking back at me. "I want one of my own, you know?"


"A child. I want one with Austin."

"Does he know?"

Alan shakes his head, "God, no."

"Well, why not?"

"Because what if he doesn't want kids? And if he does, what if he doesn't want to get one because he doesn't want it to be in any kind of danger? That's what he's like with me," he finishes, bursting into hysterics.

"Alan, calm down," I tell him, gently. "I'm sure Austin would a kid with you, but you should tell him."


"Yes. You won't ever get the kid you want if you don't tell him." He stayed silent at that. He kept bouncing Cope and we stayed in silence.

He broke it, though, "I guess you're right. I'll tell him, but not now. I'll tell him when we're back at OM&M."

"When are you guys leaving?"

"A week."

"Yes! That way I won't be so lonely." Alan laughs a little. "Hey, you hungry?"

"Kind of. Why?"

"Because I am too. Come on, I'll go cook something." Then we start walking down the stairs. He still had Cope, and while I cooked, I'd make Alan feed her. I made the bottle and handed it to Alan. He brought it to her mouth, and she started drinking.

I walk back into the kitchen - washing my hands when I enter - and look into the fridge for something to make. Looking all over the kitchen, I notice I have all the ingredients to make molé. Guess I'll be making Mexican dishes again. In the month I was here, I learned how to make Hispanic dishes. I think Vic loved it more than my other dishes because he always got most excited with them. He always asked for seconds.

I take out everything that I would need. When I start cooking the chicken after finishing with sauce, I start making the rice. I learned that plain white rice was great with molé and also cheese. They call it queso fresco. It's better than American cheese, that's for sure.

When they're both ready, I serve them. Then I get the cheese out and cut a piece of it for each plate. Then I crumble it up over the food. I grab the plates and set them in front of us. Then I grab the forks and hand one to Alan. "Here, I'll go put Cope in her space-saver," I say and he hands me Cope. I walk into the living room and put her in the space saver.

She was still drinking her milk, so I place a blanket to keep the bottle up. When I walk back into the kitchen, Alan had already started eating. "Dude, this is delicious! WHAT IS IT?!"

"It's molé. A Mexican dish."

"It's the best thing I've ever had," he says, seriously and I burst out laughing.

"Thanks, I guess." Then I take my seat and start eating. Not bad, Kellin. Not bad at all. "I want more," Alan says, when he's done with his. I had just finished mine, so I got up and served him some. When I finish heating it up, I set it in front of him. He immediately starts attacking it. "Alan, slow down," I say, cautiously.

This time when he's done, he's full. I take his plate and set it in the sink where mine was also. Then we both walk back into the living room to see Cope had finished her bottle and she was sleeping. I remove the bottle from her lips and she started sucking on air before going back to sleep. I hear Alan let out a small, "Aw," when she does it.

Making sure she stays asleep, I go sit on the couch. We talked about Alan's wedding, what it was like, who showed up, where they got married, where they went on their honeymoon. "Alan?"


"Did you lose your virginity before or after your wedding?"

"After. I felt like I wasn't ready before, but when it came to the wedding night, Austin said we didn't have to if I didn't want to. But I did, and I knew I was ready. So that's when Austin took my virginity."

"Awww. That's so romantic!"

"Yeah, yeah. What about you? What's the most romantic thing that has happened to you?"

"Um, nothing really. My first kiss was a parting. Then every other kissed I've had have been with Vic. But he's taken them, I've never wanted them."

"That sucks. Who was your first kiss?"

"Jesse. Or maybe you know him as JLaw."

"Yeah, Austin told me all of your story." After that, we just sat in silence, Alan cooed over the sleeping baby, and I watched him. I knew that he'd be a good parent. I was about to tell him so, but then the door bell rang. I looked at Alan, confused.

I knew it wasn't Vic because Vic lives here, he has a key. And it wasn't Austin because Austin was with Vic. I was kind of scared, but then again, it could have been Mike and Tony or even Jaime. Maybe Vic's parents finally came to visit me.

I get up from the couch, cautiously. When I reach the front door, I grab the knob and turn it slowly. When the door is open fully, the person standing there was not who I expected.


"Kellin!" It was really him, I run into his arms. He immediately wraps his arms around me and holds me close. "I've missed you, Jesse," I say into his neck. I feel his body shaking and I know he's chuckling. When I pull back, I see he has tears in his eyes, but then he pulls me closer again.

"I've missed you more, Kellin."

"Come, we should get inside," I say, pulling away from him. Holding his hand, leading him inside. If Vic were here, he'd probably kill Jesse. When we're inside, I stop Jesse from walking any further. "Wait here, I'm going to go get your surprise, close your eyes," I tell him before walking into the living room.

I grab the sleeping baby gently, and making a shushing sign to Alan. He nods and follows me out. When I'm in front of him, I speak, "Hold out your hands." He does and I adjust them how they should be. I place Cope in his arms and tell him, "Open your eyes."

He does and gasps at what he sees. Cope had woken up at being moved around too much, but she wasn't crying, she was just staring at Jesse with her big eyes. "Kellin, who's is she?"

"Mine. Well, mine and Vic's."

"What? How? I thought you hated Vic."

"She's not ours, biologically. I found her as her mom died during child birth. And I don't hate Vic, per say, I just don't love him as he wants me to. But we're friends now."

"Oh. I thought you guys were having sex." I sputter out and blush.

"Jesse," I hiss. "There is a baby present. And you know how awkward I am when it comes to those topics."

"Yeah, I know. Which is why it surprised me." I roll my eyes and shake my head at him. "What's her name?"


"Last name?"

"Um, we haven't really discussed that. But I guess Fuentes," I say, shrugging. He smirks a bit and I give him a confused look. He just shakes his head. "Anyway, who's that," he asks, pointing to the red-head behind me.

"That's Alan, Austin's husband."

"Oh. Who's Austin?"


"Oh! I'm Jesse."

"Nice to meet you. Kellin talks a lot about you."

"Yeah, well, I talk a lot about him."

"He has this gift of bringing people together."

"Tell me about it. He brought Gabe and Jack together, two of my gang members. I had them beat up Jack badly, Kellin here nursed him, but since he had to go with Vic, Gabe has been nursing him. As far as I know, they finally started dating."

"OMG! Are you serious?! Why didn't Jack tell me?" I squeal. That's so cute. Even if Jack was beat up by Gabe... well... yeah... Still cute. "Maybe because he knew you'd react this way." I pout at Jesse, "Meanie."

"Ugh, Kellin, stop with all this adorableness," Alan complains, shielding his eyes. I glare at them. "Oh, Kellin, please, you're about as ferocious as a puppy. Better yet, your baby." I sulk.

"Give me my baby, Jesse. You're both jerks." I say, taking my baby from him. I hear him complaining, but I ignore him. It's what he gets for being a jerk.

"You're the only one who's nice to me, right, Cope?" She just stares at me, then she blinks.

"I'm taking that as a yes, just letting you know." Nothing. I boop her nose and she finally smiles. I laugh, "There's the smile I've been looking for," I tell her in a baby voice. I carry her upstairs, knowing Alan and Jesse were following. "See, Cope, they just couldn't stay away."

"Psh, Kellin, you wish," Jesse calls back.

"I'm only in for the baby," Alan says. I pout. "They're all jerks. Nobody loves me but you, Cope," I tell her.

"Not true. Vic also loves you," Jesse says, and I can basically hear the smirk in his voice. I start blushing, he was right. But I wouldn't acknowledge that love. "Shut up, Jesse." He just laughs and I hear Alan chiming in as well. Jerks. I don't need them in my life. I reach my bedroom and slam the door shut.

"Aw, come on, Kellin, don't be like that. You know we're just joking," Jesse says, from the other side of the door. Idiot, the door isn't even locked. I ignore them as they tell me they're sorry. I have already forgiven them, I just like seeing them make fools of themselves. They kept knocking, not realizing the door wasn't locked. "You idiots, the door was never locked."

I don't hear anything, but when they enter, I see they both had embarrassed expressions on their faces. "So, are we forgiven," Alan asks.

"You have been since the beginning."

"Then why didn't you tell us the door was open?"

"Because it was funny to see you make fools of yourselves. That's why, Jesse." He glares and I smile innocently. He rolls his eyes, but takes a seat next to me. Alan comes and sits on the other side of me. "Hey, Kellin, sing me a song," Jesse asks.


"Any song." I nod and place Cope in her crib before grabbing my journal. I flip through the pages until I find one I like. I take my seat beside him and sigh before singing.

"I lost my heart.
My home is the ocean.
The waves underneath will soon be my home.
I will fall asleep.
(Fall asleep).
I'll close my eyes and dream of days when I wasn't all alone.

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song).

I'll miss my breath.
There's no more left.
Don't miss the sound of the wind up my back.
The depths have a number,
They call you by name.
Fall asleep,
Davy Jones calls you.
So fall asleep, fall asleep and dream.

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song).

All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me now).
All that I know is gone.
(Take what is left of me).
Fall deeper and deeper.
The sirens are singing your song.
(The sirens are singing your song)."

"Nice, what's the name of that one," Jesse asks me.

"Don't Fall Asleep At The Helm."

"Wow, Kellin, you have a wonderful voice," Alan praises. I blush and smile, "Thanks." We spent the next few hours just talking and when it was around nine, I asked Jesse if he was hungry. "Did you cook it or buy it?"

"I made it," I answer.

"Then, yes."

"Ok. But it's a Mexican dish."

"It's fine."

"Ok, let's go. I just have to heat it up," I say, getting up and grabbing Cope. "Hey, Alan, can you change Cope's diaper while I go serve Jesse food," I ask after noticing how heavy her diaper felt. "Yeah, I'll do it."

"Great. Thank you. Her diapers are in that drawer and the wipes are in the drawer under it," I tell him pointing to the drawers. I hand him Cope and head downstairs with Jesse. We walk into the kitchen and serve the food on a plate before placing it in the microwave.

When it's done heating up, I put the cheese on top of it and serve it to Jesse. He takes a forkful and he moans. "Ugh, Kellin, I have missed your cooking. Vic is lucky he has you."

"Thanks," I say, blushing. But speaking of Vic, where is he? He's usually home around this time after having a gang meeting thing. He's never been out later than 8:30 and if he is, he usually tells Mike to tell me or text me. But thinking about it, he's probably on his way back.

"Who taught how to make this," Jesse asks me, snapping me out of my thoughts.


"Oh. What's it called?"


"Kellin, you okay? You seem... distant."

"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Just worried about Vic, is all," I say, shrugging like it's no big deal.

"Why," he asks, and he wasn't mad, just curious.

"I don't know. It's just, everytime he has some kind of gang thing going on, he usually comes home around 8:30 and it's already nine and he hasn't called or texted or even sent Mike over to tell me he'll be staying late."

"I'm sure whatever he's doing, he's probably trying to find a way to communicate with you. He's probably just as worried about you and Cope as you are him. Maybe more than you. We all know that Vic has tight grip over you." I nod and he hugs me close, but even in his comfortable and welcoming arms, I didn't feel safe as I did in Vic's arms.

"Jesse, you need to finish eating," I say, pulling back a bit. He smiles, "I did," and when I look at his plate, I see there was no food on it. I dig my head into his shoulder and sigh. I just want Vic to come home. A few minutes later, Alan comes descending down the stairs with Copeland in his arms. "Hey, just finished cleaning Cope. She had more than pee, turns out," and I laugh.

But just as I was about to take her, I hear someone burst through the front doors. We all look at each other, confused before running to the hall. There, I could never have imagined that I'd see this. There stood Mike, Tony, Jaime, and Austin holding Vic who was bleeding from his shoulder, rapidly. Looking at the others, I see they were all beaten and bruised up.

Austin had a few scratches on his face, but his skin was bruised all up his arms. Alan runs to his aid quickly, asking if he was okay. Mike was bleeding a bit from his head and arms, but seemed fine other than that. But he was sporting a bruise on his cheek and arm. Jaime was probably the worst beaten, he looked like was about to faint and he was nothing but bruises. Tony was fine so I'm guessing he didn't go with them. Like Mike would let him.

And Vic, Vic was bruised up. He had a long cut running down his right arm and he looked to be sporting bruises as well. He was bleeding a bit from his head, but nothing major. What was eating at me was the blood-gushing wound that he has in his shoulder. It kept oozing blood, his white shirt getting stained red as time went by. And I had a guess as to what happened, but I hope I'm wrong.

"What happened," I ask, frantically. But they ignored me. Mike has called the gang doctor and he was on his way, telling me they couldn't go to a real doctor because they're wanted criminals and that. I honestly didn't care. I just wanted to know why they were all bruised up and why Vic was bleeding. They all take Vic upstairs and I follow with Jesse following me.

When I walk into the room, they had ripped Vic's shirt off and I looked at the wound. It was a hole and I feel like my suspicions aren't too far off at to what happened. I clutch my heart a bit. "Put pressure on it to make the bleeding stop," Mike yells and when I turn to look at him, he was on the phone and yelling out commands at to what to do. I'm guessing he's on the phone with the doctor.

Jaime quickly did as Mike said and he had used Vic's stained shirt and placed it over the wound. Vic groaned and jumped at the contact. But Jaime had it pressed against the wound, not letting up. Vic was a screaming mess and I saw Alan hand Cope to Jesse. "Get her out of here," I tell him and he nods, walking out of the room. But I couldn't move, I stood frozen in place as I watched the scene in front of me.

I still don't know what happened, and no one seemed to notice me. But finally I asked again and Austin walked up to me. He looked like he didn't want to be the one to tell me. He didn't speak for a while and I took the time to look at Vic. Seeing all those bruises reminded me of what happened to me with my uncle. How he had abused me and I would sport as many bruises as Jaime, maybe more.

I walk closer to the bed, but Austin holds me back and he finally tells me what happened. I feel the air leave my lungs and I feel my heart constrict. I knew something was wrong. I would never have imagined this would happen to Vic. At least not with me around. I feel like crying as Austin told me what happened, and I'm pretty sure I did: "Vic got shot."

Chapter Text

Vic got shot. "W-What," I stutter out. Austin gave me a sympathetic look. He looked like he didn't want to tell me again. "Exactly what I said," he said softly. I look at him, hoping he's joking. My eyes searching his face for any kind of lie, but found none. I feel my knees give out and I tumble down to the floor.

Austin hurries to pick me up after I've fallen. "Maybe you should sit down," Alan says, helping Austin lead me to a chair beside the bed Vic was currently on. I look at him and I had to look away, I couldn't look at him when he's like this. I couldn't look at the man who swore he'd protect me in a weak state. It showed me that no one is indestructable.

I looked at Alan and he looked upset. I was about to say something, but then Jesse walks in with a hispanic man following him. Then Jesse walks out. The guy had a bag and he immediately rushes to Vic's side. I was about to say something, but then Mike starts talking to him in Spanish.

"Le dispararon en el hombro."

"Pasame mi bulsa." Mike hands him his bag and the guy takes out tweazers and a knife. "Le tengo que sacar la bala."

"Has lo que tienes que hacer." The guy nods, who I think is the doctor, and he starts talking to Vic. "Te voy a sacar la bala, pero va doler."

"Haslo. No es como si nunca me han dispararon hantes." The doctor nods and he puts a cloth in Vic's mouth before cutting over the bullet wound. Vic groans around the cloth and I feel tears build up. I wince at the pain I could only imagine Vic was going through. Vic was sweating and he was writhering in pain. His shoulder was coated in blood and the doctor started wiping it away.

When he's done, he gets the tweazers and he sticks them inside Vic's wound. Vic thrashes up from the bed and I could tell he was screaming. I ran out of the room, I couldn't watch him while he was like this. Alan tried to grab for me, but I dodged and ran out.

I run down stairs and just as I was about to run out the front door, Jesse grabs my arm. He whirls me around to face and he frowned at my expression and my watery eyes. He was about to say something, but I hug him and bury myself in him. Or at least I tried. I wanted to disappear, to have the ground open up and just swallow me. "It's going to be okay, Kellin. Things will be alright."

Jesse holds me close as I cry into his chest. I don't know how long we were like that, but then Cope starts crying and I reluctantly pull away. I walk into the living room and walk to Cope who was in her space-saver. I pick her up and she doesn't start crying. It wasn't a hungry or pooped cry, it sounded like she felt actual pain. I checked her for any wound, but found nothing.

Seconds later, Mike was entering and he came to me. "What's wrong with her? And have you been crying?"

"I don't know. She's not hungry, her diaper isn't full, she's not sleepy. I don't know what's wrong." I purposely ignored his last question.

"Huh. I only came because Vic started murmuring, 'My baby, my baby,' he sounded like she was in danger." My heart constricts and I frown at that. That's strange. Could they have some kind of connection?

"When did he start saying that?"

"A few seconds ago," and that's around the time Cope started crying. "Ok." Was all I said. I hold Cope closer, but her crying got even more pain filled, she was hurting, but I don't know from what. Mike was walking back upstairs and I started rocking Cope. "It's okay, Cope. You're dad will be fine. Things will be alright.

Is it naive to make plans,
That seem so far away?
There's a reason I feel this way,
You're sleeping alone,
(You're alone)
I'm awake
When you dream of me tonight, am I close to where you are?
(To where you are?)

Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
This could mean everything or nothing at all
You take what is real (all, all)
I'll give you my all

Is it naive to make plans that seem
So (so), so (so), so (so), far?
I think "let's not wait, let's love right now,
Let's love right now"

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright

Oh, here where we lie,
Outstretched to wonder why we don't belong
You deserve much more, and I'll give until I'm all gone
Forever know your face
And ever take your place here by my side,
Like a ghost into the night,
The poisoned apple to my bite,
I'll be the shadow at your door,
I'll be the moth into your light,
'Cause you deserve much more
Yeah, 'cause you deserve much more

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Thunder storms could never shake us
Lay me down and kiss me like
(Lay me down and kiss me like)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Everything will be alright
(Things will be alright)
This could mean everything or nothing at all
You take what is real,
I'll give you my all

(The poisoned apple to my bite)
This could mean everything
(I'll be the shadow at your door)
Or nothing at all
(I'll be the moth into your light)
You take what is real
('Cause you deserve much more)
I'll give you my all.

Things will be alright, Cope," she had calmed down some, but it pained me to know she was hurting because Vic was hurting. I held her in my arms and didn't put her down, she needed me right now. I needed her too. Then both Mike and Jesse walk in. "Vic's all patched up now, if you want to see him. But he's sleeping."

I nod and up the stairs, holding Cope close. When I walk in, the doctor was packing his things and Austin and Alan were beside Vic. Tony was talking to the doctor. When I look at Vic, he had bandage that reached from his right shoulder to the left side of his waist. He looked peaceful asleep  instead when I saw him awake. I walk to his side and the doctor leaves.

"The doctor says he's going to be fine, just make sure you change the wrap every few hours. Clean out the wound also. Make him take some painkillers for the pain." Tony says as he walks to me, and I nod.

"When does he get the bandage off?"

"Not sure. But Mike and I are leaving, make sure to call us if you need anything," he says and walks out of the room. Jesse was next to come talk to me. "Where will I be staying?"

"Find any spare room," he nods and walks out also. I'm guessing Austina and Alan had already gone to bed. It was just me, Vic, and Copeland. I place Cope on the bed beside Vic's left side, so she didn't accidentally hit his shoulder. Looking at Vic, I felt my neck close up and my heart constrict. But I don't know why.

I feel tears falling, knowing I almost lost him. I may not love Vic the way he wants me too, but I still cared. I wipe the tears away, but a most escaped and so did sobs. The more I looked at him, the more tears fell. I let out one loud sob before covering my mouth, hoping to muffle the others that came. It hurt to see him like this, and I just don't know why.

Maybe it's because we're friends. I know I would react like this if Jesse were to be shot. Cope was oblivious, but she was hurting. She could sense something was wrong with her daddy. I was content with just watching him, but then I ran my hand across his forehead to move away some of his brown hair. He starts moving around a bit and pull my hand back quickly.

He opens his brown eyes and groans a bit. "K-Kellin?" I scoot closer to him, mindful of Cope. When she's head level with him, he smiles as she touches his face. He tries to sit up and I immediately push him back. "Shh, Vic, go back to sleep. You need the rest." He sighs as his back touches the bed.

He groans a bit as he tries to get comfortable and a sob escapes. He finally looks at me, "Kellin, are you crying?" I didn't answer him because I didn't feel like I could, a sob would just escape. He brings his good hand and rubs away the tears that fall with his thumb. "I'm going to be fine, Kellin. Things will be alright."

"I-I-I j-just, I-I'm s-s-so s-sorry th-this h-happened t-to you," I say, the cries shaking my body. He smiles a small smile and traces my face. "Sing for me." I nod and wipe my tears.

"Stay for tonight.
If you want to,
I can show you,
What my dreams are made of.
As I'm dreaming of your face.
I've been away, for a long time, such a long time,
And I miss you there.
I can't im-imagine," my voice cracks as the cries take over and start crying into the bed. "Hey, Kellin," Vic says, I ignore him. He picks up my head and makes me look at him. "Kellin," he says, but I don't meet his eyes. I just looked down, letting the years fall. "Kellin, look at me," I didn't. "Please," and I did. He smiles, "Hey, it's okay. Keep going." I nod and sigh, shakily.

"I can't imagine being anywhere else.
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here.

How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I can sing you a song.
But I don't think words can express your beauty.
It's singing to me.
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me.
I fell in love from the moment we kissed,
Since then we've been history.

They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that need.
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever with me.

(If you want to, I can show you).
(If you want to, I can show you).

It goes to show.
I hope that you know that you are,
What my dreams are made of.
And I can't fall asleep,
I lay in my bed,
Awake at night.
And I'll fall in love,
You'll fall in love, it could mean everything,
Everything to me.
Ooh, ooh, This could mean everything to me.

They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever...

The way that we are,
Is the reason I stay.
As long as your here with me,
I know I'll be okay.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.

They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay, please stay, as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever with me.

(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are what my dreams are made of).
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are, that you are).
Please stay, please stay, as long as you need.
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are what my dreams are made of).
They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are, that you are).
They say that love is forever.
Please stay forever with me."

Vic was smiling blissfully up at me. "I love hearing you sing." I smile through my tears. He frowns, "It's okay, Kellin. Just please stop crying," I nod and wipe away the tears Vic didn't. "Sing me another song," and I nod, going with the song I sang to Cope. Let Love Bleed Red.

And I keep singing, some original and some covers, but I kept singing until he says stop. But he didn't and I kept singing to him, and he just smiled up at me. I saw so many emotions in his eyes that I have never seen before and he looked so blissful, like he was getting pleasure from this. Then I stop singing to catch my breath

He traces my cheek, "Keep singing," he says, breathlessly. I nod and he smiles. I give him a small one in return. When I finish the song, he speaks.

"Can I sing you something?" And I gape at him, he didn't want to sing for me when I asked, but now he was offering. I feel myself nod, "If you want." He smiles and tries to sit up, so I help him. I felt my skin burning where I touched him. When he's where he wants to be, he pats the spot in front of him and I sit down, placing Cope in my lap.

He winced a bit as he moved his arm and I was about to tell him to lay back down, but he probably wouldn't listen either way. He had his jaw clenched, but I knew he wouldn't do anything to show he's in pain.

"I still remember the night you tried to kiss me through the window.
I tried to settle for the taste of touching glass over the sound of
answering machines, because I love the way your voice
it says it's gonna get back to me someday.
As I brace my knees you hold me down with your eyes.

Someday I'll drive, close both my eyes.
We'll swim in circles in the blue lights,
it's gonna be the best day of my life.

Oh my God
You'll never be as beautiful without me.
Beauty needs an animal to breathe,
and baby you'll be alright as long as I'm not.
So do that dance in the dark,
sharpen your teeth and bite as hard as you want.

Someday I'll drive, close both my eyes.
We'll swim in circles in the blue lights.
And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea.
A million kisses underwater as we walk into the ocean.
And this is gonna be the best day of my life,
a celebration of an ending.

And do you really trust your tongue or did you bury the taste?
And is this fantasy real, or is it all home-made?
And did you call me last night just 'cause you couldn't get laid?
Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce the selfish machine.

Do you think you're the only one?
Do you think you're the only one?
Do you think you're the only one afraid of this machine?

Someday I'll drive, close both my eyes.
I'll be your breath if you can be mine.
And I just want to fade away into the sky under the sea.
A million kisses underwater as we walk into the ocean waves.
Do you see me at all under the tall waves?
Do you see me at all?"

I gape at him. I knew he could sing, but I never knew he could sing like that. "Vic... you're really good." He shrugs, but smiles, "Not as good as you are."

"You are. Maybe better than me."

"Not possible." I huff and cross my arms, making sure not to hit Cope. "Just go back to sleep, Vic."

"Are you joining me?" And in the beginning, I probably would have said no, but now... "Yes." Then I get up and place Cope in her crib with a pacifier in her mouth. Then I walk to the drawers and take out the shirt I sleep in. When I look at Vic, I see him staring at me and I begin blushing. "Um, Vic, can you close your eyes, or just look away?" He sighs, but nods and closes his eyes.

As I take off my clothes, I watch Vic, making sure he doesn't peek. He didn't, and when I'm done putting on the shirt, I get into bed. Which signals to Vic he can look now. I help him lay back down and he keeps his good arm around my waist. So my left arm was on his chest and so was my head.

I feel him tracing patterns into my hip, raising the shirt a bit. I didn't panic because nothing was going to come from this, he was just touching, not groping. He raises the shirt until it was over my hip and now he was just running his fingers up and down the curve of my waist. It wasn't as prominent as those on a girl, but you could feel it if touched there. Which he was doing. I hated that curve, it made me feel even more feminine than I already was, but Vic seems to love it.

He kept running his fingers over it. I was running my fingers over his chest going to the old wounds he has on him. I'd stop and run my thumb over whatever wound I found, then move on. Vic would sigh in content every now and then.

His hand went a little higher up my side until he was up to the middle. "Your skin is so soft," he says, turning his head down to look at me and I turn my head up to look at him. "Why is that," he continues.

"I don't know," I say, softly. He hand moves to my arm, but he didn't bother pulling my shirt down. He starts running his hand over my arm. "You have no hair on your arms or legs," and I crack a small smile. "I know. I've never had hair except on my head." He chuckles silently, but I felt his chest rise and fall with the laughs, but he stops and winces a bit. "You really should go back to sleep, Vic."

"Nah, I may be in pain, but it's worth it if I get to hold you like this."

"You still can, even in your sleep."

"Promise me you won't pull away."

"I promise," and we pull the sheets over us, going to sleep in the position we were in. I close and my eyes, falling asleep at hearing Vic's heartbeat.


A few days later after Vic got shot, he could start walking around again. Before, I would usually feed him in bed, giving him whatever I cooked. Jesse always joked about it, calling me a maid, but I'd laugh it off. While I watched Vic, Jesse, Alan, and Austin watched Cope. And while I watched Cope, they watched Vic.

Vic loved it when Cope was with him in the bed, but now he can walk around. But I still won't let him carry Cope until his shoulder is better even if he can function his arm. Mike and Tony have come to check up on him a few times. There are times when Jesse accidentally brushes against Vic's shoulder, but he always apologizes. But Jesse, Austin, and Alan were leaving in two days.

Right now, Vic had just woken up. He was getting out of bed, and we were about to switch the bandage. I walk to him when he's sitting with his feet over the edge of the bed. "You ready," I ask, but only because this process sometimes hurts him. He nods. I grab the scissors and cut the bandage, beginning to unravel it. I'd pass it down to my left hand everytime my right couldn't get passed his shoulder. And as more came off, more of his chest appeared.

Finally we got the bandage off and I had thrown it away. I grab the new bandage and begin on his wounded shoulder, working my way around him. "Is that good," I ask, when I'm finished.

"Yeah, that's fine." And he stands up, me following. "Breakfast is ready downstairs, so just come down when you're done up here." Then I walk out of the bedroom, my cheeks burning. Everytime, I stare at his chest when we're changing the bandage, every single time.

I walk into the living room where Jesse and Alan are playing with Cope while Austin was watching tv, but I could see him stealing glances at his husband with my child. Jesse was currently giving her raspberries and Alan was making faces, but she seemed to enjoy it since she was smiling at them. I feel a smile grace my face.

Then I walk into the kitchen, beginning to wash the dishes when Vic enters. He was shirtless because he insists on not wearing shirts because of his shoulder. I think he can wear shirts, but whatever. He seems to enjoy being shirtless. It sometimes makes me blush because I catch myself staring.

"You're breakfast is on the table, I hope you like french toast," and he nods, smiling, walking out of the kitchen. He's been happier since the first night when he got shot. When we actually fell asleep hugging, and holding each other close. We got close that night. Maybe it is because we got closer. I shrug to myself.

When I finish washing the dishes, I grab Vic's pain killers and pour him a glass of water. I walk into the dining room just as Vic takes his last bite. "Here, Vic," I say handing it to him. He puts the pill in his mouth, swallowing it with the water. I pick up his plate and fork and put it in the sink.

We walk into the living room and Cope notices us. She smiles and she stretches out her arms before falling over. I pick her up. "How have your mornings been," I ask them. "Mine has been good, I'm a bit tired, though," Alan says. "I'm about to go back to sleep, though," he finishes, getting up. Looking at him, he did look worn out and he winced a bit with each step he took. I wonder what's wrong with him.

Austin had a smirk on his face and when I look at Jesse and Vic, they did as well. "Why are all of you smirking," I ask them. They all start laughing and I give them all confused looks. "What's so funny?"

"Oh, Kellin, so naïve and innocent. How about we go write music," Jesse asks me and I nod enthusiastically. "Hey, Vic, you have guitars, right?" He nods, before getting up and leading us to a room inside this mansion. In there, I realized it was a music room, it had a lot of instruments and microphones.

Jesse walks up to a guitar and picks it up, picking a guitar pick up as well. He sits in the high chair and strums the guitar. Then he starts playing a random tune, but it came out great. "You play," both Vic and Austin ask. "Yeah. Have been for a while, I used to play the song while Kellin sang it. What song, Kells?" And I think it over, Hmmm, what's one I haven't sang in a while?

"Want to do a cover," I ask, adjusting Cope in my arms. "Austin, could you get me her space-saver?" He nods and walks out of the room. "Alright," Jesse says and I start thinking, Hmmm, who to cover, who to cover? Then it hits me. But first, I place Cope in her space-saver when Austin brought it. I rush to Jesse's side and whisper the title into his ear. When I pull back, he's smirking. "Alright," he says and begins playing.

"I see you driving down town with the girl I love
and I'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Ah fuck!

I'm sorry,
I can't afford a Ferrari,
But I got something that’ll get you there
Say she’s an Xbox and I'm more Atari,
But the way you play your game ain't fair.

I pity the fool
That falls in love with you
She’s a golddigger
She’s a golddigger
I've got some news for you.
Why don’t you go tell your fucking boyfriend.

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
and I'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And fuck her too.
I said,
If I was richer, I'd still be here with ya
Ain’t that some shit?
(Ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best
Fuck you!

Now I know,
I had to borrow,
Beg and steal and lie and cheat.
(Beg and steal and lie and cheat.)
Trying to keep ya,
Trying to please ya.
'Cause being with your ass ain't cheap.

I pity the fool
That falls in love with you
She’s a golddigger
She’s a motherfucking golddigger
I've got some news for you.
I really hate your ass right now.

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
and I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you!)
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And fuck her too.
I said,
If I was richer, I'd still be here with ya
Ain’t that some shit? (shit)
(Ain't that some shit?)
And although there's pain in my chest
I still wish you the best
Fuck you!

Now baby, baby, baby, why you why you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?
(So bad, so bad, so bad)
I tried to tell my mamma but she told me
It’s one for your dad.
(Your dad, your dad, your dad)
So I tell her like
Whhhhy oh baby?
I love you.
Still thinking of you.

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
and I'm like,
Fuck you!
(Fuck you bitch!)
So fuck you!

I see you driving down town with the girl I love
and I'm like,
Fuck you!
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough
I'm like,
Fuck you! And…
Come on, come on
One more time

I see you driving down town with the girl I love (girl I love)
and I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you!)
I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough (wasn’t enough)
I'm like,
Fuck you! (Fuck you)"

"Wow, nice choice," Austin says, laughing. I smile, deviously, "Oh, I know." That sets him off more. "Ok. Ok. Enough laughing," I say, trying to consume mine. "So, what are we doing today," Austin asks. "Well, the doctor is coming later today, so Vic has that," I say.

"Hmm, we should go swimming or something. I'm sure Mexico has some lakes we can swim in," Jesse says.

"There is, but I probably won't be able to swim," Vic answers. "I'd probably risk infection in my shoulder or something worse."

"Ooh. You're right. What if we just watch movies," I suggest. "Sure," they all agree. We all walk out of the music room, me grabbing Cope and Austin her space-saver. We walk into the living room and Vic opens up a cabinet, "Some are Spanish and some in English."

"Do you have any Disney movies," Austin asks.

"Dude, Disney? Really? That's so gay," Vic says, snickering.

"If liking Disney makes you gay, then I am a flaming homo."

"Alright, but yeah, I have some."


"Yeah, which do you want to see?" Austin crouches down at the cabinet and looks through it until he finds one he likes. When I look at it, I burst out laughing. "Really? You know that's kind of referencing Jesse's gang, right," I ask him, in between my laughs. He thought about it for a moment before laughing as well.

Jesse walks in with popcorn and takes a seat on the couch. "So, what movie are we watching," he asks. I place Cope in her space-saver with a bottle, holding it up with a blanket."Wait and see, but it references your gang, JLaw," Vic says, laughing. Then I take my seat between Vic and Jesse.

The movie starts and Jesse gasps, "The Little Mermaid, really?"

"Hey, don't blame us, Aussie picked it," Vic says, raising his hands in defense, wincing a bit. "Shh, it's starting," Austin says and we all face the screen. From the corner of my eye, I see Vic clenching his jaw. He kept rubbing his wound and I frown. I gently rub his shoulder in circles - trying to make sure it didn't hurt him - and he relaxes, "Better," I ask him softly. He nods, smiling gently down at me. I blush a bit before looking back at the movie.

Vic wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer. I look at him and he just winks at me, before turning to face the movie again. I do the same, but blushing. Looking around, Austin looked so engrossed in the movie and Jesse was acting as if he didn't want to be watching it, but from the look in his eyes, I knew he was enjoying it. Then I turn to face Vic again.

He was lost in thought. He face had a neutral expression so I knew he did like the movie, but his eyes were glazed over so he wasn't watching it. He was lost in his own world. His grip on my waist tightened a bit, but from the look on his face, I don't think he noticed.

I go back to watching the movie and it was around the time when Ariel was saving Eric from drowning. I find it funny that she fell in love by just looking at him. Love at first sight. Not, she was merely attracted to him, then she falls in love when she gets to know him.

But I could never imagine giving something as precious as my voice for a guy. He must be very important to me for me to do that, and she, she just met the guy. Like I would do it for Jesse and Cope, but someone I just met. No. It's crazy, plus there was the risk of him not even falling for her. I mean we knew he was, it's a Disney movie, but still. No one just falls in love by just looking at someone.



I fell in love with Kellin by just looking at him when we first met. He was just so adorable, even when he was scared. I could just tell from the way that he wouldn't look at me that he was modest. When I looked into his beautiful mixture of color eyes, I saw his pain, fear, exhaustion, and hope. His perfectly adorable mouth was agape as he stared at me. He was perfect for me and I got him.

Then getting to know him and seeing who he is as a person made the love intesify. When he saved Jack from getting shot. When he came with me just to protect JLaw. When he made us take Cope in and raise her as our own.

When I discovered his story, I just... I wanted to take all his pain away and place it over me just so he wouldn't have to bear the burden of it. I would if I could, but I know that Kellin would never hope for that kind of pain on anyone, not even on his bastard of an uncle. I tighten my grip on Kellin's waist, remembering his uncle.

Then there was everytime I did anything sexual to him. He'd always break down crying, and that's when I realized that he's a virgin. Probably both ways. I just find it hard to believe that he's virgin, he's just so cute and adorable, how could anyone not want him? Besides his disgusting uncle.

Kellin is just perfect in every way. He had black hair with brown streaks in it that is soft to the touch. His beautiful eyes that are so big and innocent, full of life, and the fact that his eyes are a mixture of green, blue, and gray. No one would ever get tired of looking at those eyes. Then his sinful mouth that I have only got to taste a handful of times, but each time I had, it had me wanting more. And I would, but I don't for him.

His lips were the perfect shade of pink, and they had the right amount of fullness. They were soft and delictable. And the fact that he was new to kissing made kissing him all the more fun. He was new to it all. And just looking at him, sometimes I just wanted to wreck him. To have him underneath me, writhering and sweating, begging for me. To have his tiny mouth surrounding my - No, Vic. Calm down.

Anyway, how could anyone not want him? Not to mention his body, it wasn't buff by any means, but his body was so small and delicate. I don't want to do anything but hold him close and make sure nothing and no one hurts him. His pale skin was so soft and smooth it reminded me of a porcelain doll. I love running my hand over his skin.

His petite body had some curves that guys shouldn't have like the hips. Not to mention he has more of a butt than most guys. He had really good thighs that I just want to grab and hold. His body wasn't littered with bruises anymore which made me proud. I remember when I first saw his thighs covered in hand prints. I know now it was his uncle.

What I would give to have those slender legs wrapped around me. What I would give to be able to kiss those sinful lips and that delictable mouth of his. What I would give to be able to hold him forever. What I would give to take away all his pain. What I would give to have a relationship like Austin and Alan's. And what I would give to take away his virginity, having him begging for more, and finally being able to wreck him until he can't even walk. But I don't ever want to hurt him.

The movie ends and it was JLaw's turn to pick one. He didn't pick a Disney movie, though, he picked a horror movie and from how long I've known Kellin, I know he doesn't like horror movies. I already felt him getting closer to me in fear as the opening credits came on. I think the movie is Saw movie, but I'm not paying attention.

Everytime a gory scene came on, I'd see Kellin flinch and I pull him close. He looks up at me - his eyes searching my face - and he gives me a small, soft smile before turning back to face the movie. It took everything in me not to kiss his lips. It pretty much became a process everytime a scene that scared him came on. I'm starting to like this movie.

When we were on our third movie, another horror, Alan finally decided to wake up. He walks in and places himself on Austin's lap and kisses him on the lips and I can't help but feel jealous. I wanted that, to be able to kiss and hold Kellin without it being forced, without him crying. I wanted to be able to express my love for him without him rejecting it.

I look at him and he's watching the movie, his expression was kind of timid, but it wasn't on a gory scene, so he was fine. He looked so beautiful, the light of the television reflecting in his eyes, lighting up his face and I just can't help myself. I lean forward and place a soft kiss on his cheek. His cheeks were as soft as Cope's. I loved the feel of his skin on my lips.

His cheeks turn to a red tint and he looks at me, his eyes wide and his little mouth agape. I smile at him and he sends me a small smile back. Then he leans forward and places a kiss on my cheek. His lips are so soft and plush. They felt wonderful against my skin. He sends me a smile before turning back to face the movie just as a gory scene came on and the process continued.



What was I thinking? Why didn't I say anything about horror movies? But Jesse knows, so he probably did this on purpose so that I'd go to Vic for comfort. Jesse is a manipulating genius. Right now the movie wasn't on a gruesome scene, do I could watch, but I was cringing, awaiting a scene where I would have to look away. Then I felt it.

Vic had placed a kiss on cheek. I feel them heating up and I turn to look at him, he hasn't done that in a while. He smiles at me and I smile back, it seemd like the polite thing to do. Plus, the kiss itself wasn't terrible, it was... nice, it just caught me by surprise.

I lean forward and place a kiss on his cheek. My cheeks darken, but I've never really kissed Vic except for a few times. I let them stay for a while on his skin before pulling back. He had a shocked expression and I smile at him before turning back to face the movie just as a gory scene came on and Vic did what he always did when it came on.

Finally, we were done with watching movies. I wake up Cope to feed her, but first I change her wet diaper. I might have to give her another bath since I haven't since the day Vic got... shot. But I'll feed her first. After changing her diaper, I walk downstairs and Vic has already prepared the bottle and I take it from him. "Thank you," I say.

I give it to Cope, taking a seat on the couch. Alan comes and takes a seat beside me. "Hey, Kellin. Can I feed her?"

"Sure, just try not to move her so much or she'll throw up." He nods and takes her in his arms. "So why were you so tired," I ask him. He starts blushing and I'm so confused. "Um... Austin wanted to do something last night that involved a lot of energy."


"You don't get it?" I shake my head.

"I'll let Vic explain it to you," he says and begins laughing. "No, tell me. What happened?"

"No, tell me."

"Kellin, if you didn't get it, I'm not going to be the one to ruin your innocence." I give him in a confused. "What?" He just laughs at me and Vic and Jesse walk in, Austin trailing behind them. "What's so funny," Jesse asks.

"K-Kellin," Alan gasps through his laughs. "He-he doesn't un-understand what happened last night with Austin and I." They all seemed to get it because they all started snickering. I'm so confused. Just as I was about to say something, there was a knock on the door.

I get up to open and see Jaime standing there, smiling as usual. "Kellin!"

"Jaime," I say, hugging him before letting him enter. "What brings you here?"

"Oh, you know, it's been a while since I've visited you guys. In fact, I think the last time I was here was when Vic got shot," and I cringe at the memory. "Yeah... anyway, I was just about to make lunch, you in the mood for anything?"

"No, not really."

"You sure?" I ask, following after him into the living room. "You know what? Yeah. I want to try your cooking. Everyone says it's better than Vivian's," Vic's mom. I blush, though, realizing the comment. "That's not true."

He raises an eye-brow, "Oh, really? Hey, everyone. Is it true that Kellin's cooking is amazing," he asks everyone in the living room. "Yes," they all answer. My blush darkens, "Whatever," I mumble before walking across the hall into the kitchen.

I start cooking a random Mexican dish, something called Chilaquiles. It was fried tortillas cut into triangles, then you bathe them in sauce, and when they're all cooked, you place crema and queso fresco on top. But with the crema it has to be like a blanket. It usually comes out wonderful. I want to learn more recipes from Vic's mom, but I have yet to meet her.

I serve six plates and place six glasses of juice on the table. Vic has shown me some Hispanic waters. And I love guanabana and tamarindo. They are really good, so I place three of guanabana and three of tamarindo. "Guys, lunch is ready," I call, before walking back into the kitchen and placing all the dirty dishes I used into the sink. Then I wash my hands and walk into the dining room.

I take my seat beside Vic and see that they all waited for me to sit down before they started eating. I was the first to begin and then they all started. They all started moaning and groaning at the taste, "Dude, I want you back in Michigan for your cooking," Jesse says, groaning. Vic growls a bit, but I just laugh it off.

When I look at Jesse, I see he was staring at Jaime. He seemed dazed, Hmm, wonder what's going on there. "Man, Kellin, they weren't lying, you're cooking is amazing," Jaime says. Alan nods, "Yes! I'm at war between the molé and this," he says, and groans. I laugh quietly, but I knew my cheeks were tinted pink.

When everyone finishes, Alan helps me pick up the plates and wash thedishes. "Does it bother you to do all this," he asks me while drying off a wet plate that I hand to him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, does it bother you that you do all the cleaning and cooking?"

"Oh... honestly, I learned from a young age that I had to clean and cook without complaints, and this is nothing. Here if I were to not do any chores, Vic wouldn't care. But if I were still with my uncle, I would've gotten punished. So, no. I don't mind. I'm use to it. This is like breathing to me."

He nods, "Oh... Hey, look, we're done." And we were. I dry off my hands and so does Alan. When we walk into the living room, I see Jesse still staring at Jaime. I set my lips in a thin line. "Hey, Jesse, come here for a second," I ask and he nods, getting up and walking away from Jaime. Looking at Jaime, I see he's staring at Jesse's retreating form. Interesting.

"What do you need, Kellin?"

"Do you like Jaime?" And he starts spluttering and blushing. I gasp. He does. "Oh, my God. You do!"

"Shhh. Not so loud," he says, placing his hand over my mouth. I raise an eye-brow at him. "When were you planning on telling me," I ask him once he removes his hand.

"Hmmm.... never, to be honest."


"Because I'd knew you'd freak out."

"Well, yeah, but only because in the many years I've known you, you've never had any kind of partner except for that one girl who broke your heart by cheating on you. What was her name again," I ask myself.

Jesse sighs, "Ashley." (By the way, I have nothing against Ashley, I think she's great! This is purely fiction.)

"Yeah, her. I know what she did hurt you, but it's time you move on. and I can tell you, Jaime is a great choice," I say, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Kellin, I appreciate how much you care about this. But... I don't think anything with Jaime is going to happen anytime soon."


"Because... it wouldn't work out."

"Why? Because he you're too scared to make move in fear of getting hurt? Or because you truly it won't work out?"

"You know what, Kellin? Shut up. You can't be talking because here you are telling me that I should make a move on Jaime, but what about you and Vic? Huh?"

"Now that's different and you know it!"

"How? How is it different?" I stay silent. "Exactly," he snaps.

"It's different because I was forced into this relationship. Because I was abused. Because I-I've never known love of this kind!"

"Bull-shit! If anything, you're the one scared to make a move."

"And with every right," I snap. "You know God damn well why," I hiss. "But here you are, you were cheated on. And yeah, I know it hurt you - hell, I was there - but you can move on. Meanwhile, here I am, forced to live my life in fear because we all know that my uncle wants me back. And not to redeem himself," I yell. He glares at me.

"You know what, Kellin? This conversation is over."

"No, Jesse, this conversation is not over." He starts walking away and I  pull him back by the arm... only to receive a fist to the face. I release him immediately. Acting on instinct, I back away. When I look at him, I see regret filling his eyes. "You're right, JLaw, this conversation is over."

"No, Kellin, I'm so-"

"We should go back into the living room," I say, letting my head drop.

"Kellin, plea-"

"Jesse," I snap. "It's over. What's done is done." Then I walk into the living room where is staring wide-eyed. "Kellin, what happened to your fa-" I cut Vic off. "I'm going for a walk, watch Cope." Then I walk out the door, not giving him time to protest.

I walk to the fence and I climb over it. I jump down and my feet touch the ground. I walk to where I last saw Katelynne and see her body is gone. Someone must have noticed her. I walk past the spot and walk to my tree. I begin climbing, higher and higher until I reach the top. I pull my knees to chest and I finally let myself cry.



All I could do was watch in horror as Kellin back away from me in fear. Me, who promised to never hurt him. Me, who was his best friend. Me, who always took care of him when his uncle beat him. Me, who would have rather died than cause Kellin any pain.

When I walk into the living room, I see them all staring at me, shock evident on their faces. I didn't blame them, I'd be shocked too if I were in their shoes. Vic was the first to react because next thing I know, I was tackled to the ground and Vic was above me, glaring down. His eyes showed nothing but hate. I knew that if it weren't for Kellin, I'd be dead.

"What did you do," he growls out at me. I stay silent, though. I couldn't admit to my acts, I'm ashamed. He picks me up and slams me into the floor, making sure it hurt. "Hey, Vic, cal-" he cuts off Austin. "Shut up," he snaps at him before turning his attention back to me. "What did you do?"

"I.... I-I punched him." Vic's eyes widen and the next thing I know, I was thrown against the wall. I groan as I slide down. He walks to me and I was actually scared for my life. He crouches down to my level and pulls my shirt. "I never liked you. I only put up with you for Kellin's sake. But now... I want you to out of my house. And I want you to know that the only reason I'm not killing you and disposing of your pathetic body is because of Kellin and Copeland. Pack your shit and go." And he releases me.

He walks to Cope picking her up and glaring at me over her small body. I walk to the room he let me use during my stay and pack what little clothes I brought for the week. When I walk out, I couldn't meet anyone's eyes. I walk to the door where Vic is holding it open and when I'm out of the house, he slams the door.

I stare at the house and a few minutes later, Jaime is walking out. "You can stay with me," he says and I nod, following him as he leads me to his house. When we enter, I see it wasn't too big like Vic's, but it wasn't too small either. "You can take the guest room, it's the first door on the right, make yourself at home," he says and I nod.

I go to the door he said and open it. I throw my bag somewhere into the room and collapse onto the bed. I take a deep breath and I finally allow myself to cry.



I finally decided it was time to head back and I start climbing down. It was dark out. I walk back to the fence and climb over, jumping down. Then I walk back to Vic's house and enter hesitantly. I walk into the living room and see Vic there with Cope in her space-saver. I start trembling when he sees me.

"Kellin, what's wrong," he asks, and I flinch away from his out stretched hand.

"Am I going to get punished," I ask in a small voice. He gives me a confused look.

"Punished? For what?"

"For running away."



"Oh, no. Kellin. No, you didn't do anything wrong." It hurt that we were back to when he feared me. I thought we were past it. He looks at me through his eye-lashes that appeared to be wet. I knew he was crying. I growl a little knowing Jesse caused this. But Kellin flinches, probably thinking it was directed at him. "I'm sorry," he whimpers.

"No, baby, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Jesse."


"Because he hurt you."

"So? I deserved it," he mutters and I am seriously contemplating killing Jesse right now. "No, you didn't deserve it. In fact, is it okay if I hug you," I ask. He nods timidly and pull him into my arms gently. I sigh in content when I have him safely in my arms. "Kellin?"


"Can you go upstairs, I'll meet you there, okay?" He nods against my chest and begins walking up the stairs. I grab my sleeping Cope and follow him, walking softly to not wake Cope up. When we reach our room, I place Cope in her crib and walk to Kellin who stood, trembling in the middle of the room.

I pick him up bridal style and lay him on the bed. "Are you going to rape me?"

I sigh, "No, Kellin, you didn't do anything wrong," I say, placing a kiss to his forehead. When I look at the bruise on his delicate face, I start seeing red. If I ever see Jesse, he is so going to die. I walk to Kellin's drawer and take out the shirt he always wears to bed.

When I hand it to him, I turn around so he can change. "You can look now," he mutters in his soft, hurt voice. I felt my heart constrict at his pained voice and expression. I take off my clothes and stay in my boxers. When I get into bed, I place Kellin on my lap and he wraps his legs around me. I pull him closer. I feel his breath come out in soft pants and they displayed themselves over my exposed shoulder. I shiver in content.

"I hope you know you didn't deserve the punch Jesse gave you," I say. He stays silent and I sigh. Oh, Kellin. We stayed like that until we heard the doorbell ring. Kellin pulls back, sending me a confused expression and I was just as confused. But when I remembered I had on a bandage, I remembered the doctor.



I get out of bed and Vic follows and we both walk to the front door. I open it and see it's the doctor. "Hola, doctor," Vic says.

"Hola, Victor. Vamos a checkar tu herida."

"Ok, vayamos a la sala," and he starts leading the doctor to the living room. The doctor begins removing Vic's bandage after Vic sat down. He examines the wound and shines light on it. "Se mira bien. Creo que eso es todo. Tu hombro ya esta bien. Adios, Victor." As the doctor walks by me, he stares me up and down and I blush. "Adios, doctor," Vic says, with venom in his voice. I begin to shake a bit.

The doctor leaves and I turn to Vic. "So, um, what did he say?"

"He said my shoulder is fine now." I nod at him. We start walking back upstairs and I wince when the bedroom door closes. I turn to face him. Then he starts advancing towards me and I take steps back and I continued backing away, until my foot tripped over one of Cope's toys. I was about to fall when I feel Vic's arms wrap around my waist and both my hands were at his shoulders.

I look up at him, staring into his eyes. I feel his breath fanning my lips and I know mine was doing the same. I bring one of my hands and bring it to his face. I run my knuckles against his cheek and he takes that hand, bring it to his lips and kissing it. I blush, but didn't tear my gaze away from his. I cup his cheek and lean up until....

Our lips touch.

Chapter Text

Chapter Twelve:


We stayed paralyzed as our lips touch. I didn't know what to do. I looked into his eyes and I realized he was scared. He thought he was forcing me to do this. I had to smile against his lips. Then I close my eyes and move my hand to his neck and pull him down. I started kissing his lips and he finally reacted, kissing back.

I bring my other arm around his neck and he pulls me closer to his body by the waist. He brings one his hands down to behind my thigh and I know what he wants. I wrap my legs around him and I feel him start walking. Then my back comes in contact with one of the columns on the bed.

He licks my bottom lip, asking for entrance and I grant it to him. I moan as his tongue comes in contact with my mouth. He brings one of his hands back to my waist and gives a sqeeze. I bring my hands to his hair and dig my fingers in it. His tongue started fighting with mine.

He moves the hand from my waist to my butt, and gives a squeeze before he rubs circles into it. I squealed a bit and started blushing more when he whispered into my ear, "I love your ass." He pulls me closer so our regions are touching and I gasp. He takes advantage of that and places his tongue inside my mouth.

I pull back to breathe, but I knew my lips were swollen and my cheeks were flushed. I had my head turned to the side, exposing my neck and Vic took advantage of that. He brought his lips to my neck - where my neck and shoulder meet - and began sucking a hickey into my skin. I let out a small whimper.

Next thing I know, he's licking the skin there. "V-Vic," I gasp out. I feel him smirk against my neck. Then with one last lick, he pulls back and brings his lips back to mine. I immediately begin kissing him back. He moves his hands to where my shirt ended and began running his hand under it. I shiver at his touch, him tracing lines in my side. It felt wonderful.

But I had to breathe. "Vic, s-stop," I say, after pulling back. He pulls back and I couldn't meet his eyes. "I-I'm not ready," I say, hiding my gaze from him. I was embarrassed. Ashamed. I'm still a virgin. The furthest I have gone is kissing. He nods and places his forehead against mine, making me meet his gaze. He smiles warmly.

"That's fine. Time for bed." I nod and wrap my arms around his neck. He got the message and he picked me up, walking to the top of the bed. He lays me down and climbs over me. I look up at him and give one more quick kiss, "Good night, Vic." He smiles and pecks my forehead before sliding off of me. He pulls me closer to him by the waist so we're spooning. "Good night, Kellin."


When I awake the next morning, I see Vic is still asleep. So I remove his arm from my waist and turn to face him. I place a kiss on his cheek and I crawl out of bed. I put on some shorts and take of my shirt to replace it with a tank top. Then I walk to Cope's crib and pick up her sleeping body.

I walk downstairs and place her in her space-saver to go make her bottle. When that's done, I walk back into the living room and wake my baby up. She whimpers a bit and I frown. "I know, baby, but you need to eat, then you can go back to sleep," I say, bringing the bottle to her lips. She begins drinking and I start humming Scene One - James Dean and Audrey Hepburn.

While drinking her bottle, she kept looking at me. She blinked slowly at me before closing her eyes. She stopped sucking. I pull the bottle back, but then she starts crying. "Shh, baby," I say and bring the bottle back to her lips. She stops and I sigh in relief. "Shh, sweetie, we have to be quiet or else Daddy Vic and Uncle Austin and Alan will wake up." But I smile at her, none the less.

A few minutes later, Austin is descending from the stairs. "Morning, Kellin."

"Hey, Austin, where's Alan?"

"Still sleeping. Where's your other half?" I blush a bit at that.

"Still sleeping." He nods and walks towards me and doesn't stop until he's right in front of me. He brings his hand to my bruised cheek and runs his fingers over it. I wince a bit, "How are you feeling about that?"

I sigh, "To be honest, it hurts. Not the bruise itself, but the fact that Jesse did it. He always promised me he'd never hurt me."

"I bet. It's like me hitting Alan after I promised I'd never do it again." I nod solemly.

"Are you going to talk to him?" And I let out a dry laugh. "I don't think Vic would let me."

He cracks a smile, "You're probably right. You should have seen him last night, he looked ready to murder Jesse."

"I can imagine."

"Yeah, but I understand him. If I were to know that someone hit or even looked at Alan the wrong way, they'd probably be dead."

"... Austin, have you killed anyone?"

"... Yeah, but I stopped after I saved Alan when he told me he preferred to get raped than be with a murderer. After that, I don't kill anyone unless it's, like, mandatory. Like if someone I, or Alan, care about were to get hurt by the person." I nod in understanding.

"I hope I can get Vic to stop murdering people."

"You probably could. Last night Vic told Jesse that the only reason he wasn't killing him was because of you and Cope." I blush a bit and smile down at Cope.

"That's good," I say, lowering my gaze to Cope, exposing my neck. "Kellin? Is that a hickey?" I tense up, beginning to blush remembering what happened the night before and how Vic had sucked my neck. But I didn't reply. "Oh, my God. It is! You and Vic did the dirty!"

"No! We didn't. We just... we just had our first make out session where I wasn't forced into it," I say, mumbling out the last part. He starts laughing.

We stayed just talking for a while until both Alan and Vic woke up. Vic acknowledged me with a kiss to the forehead. We spent the whole day with Austin and Alan because they were leaving today. I was saddened by that, but I knew they'd visit.

They had just left when I hear the doorbell ring. I give Cope to Vic and stand up to open the door. When I open it, I tense at who I see. "J-Jesse, wh-what are you doing here," I stutter out. He looks at me through his eye-lashes and sighs. "I came to say goodbye and... to apologize."

I nod, "Ok. Well, bye," I say, about to close the door, but he grabs for me and I scream a bit. I pull back and begin backing away from him. He sighs, "Ke - " he gets cut off by Vic.

"Kellin, what's wrong," he asks, coming into the hallway. When he notices Jesse, his frantic face falls and is replaced with an angry scowl. "What are you doing here," he snaps.

"I came to say goodbye and apologize to Kellin."

"Right. And why did he scream," he asks, coming closer to me and pulling me into a hug. I immediately relax and breathe in his scent. "He screamed because I touched him." Vic arms tighten and pull back to look at him. His jaw was clenched and I can tell he was about to snap. "Jesse..."

He looks at me. "Yes?"

"Can you leave, please," I mumble. He looks heartbroken and made means to reach out to me, but Vic growled and pulled me away from reaching range. "Didn't you hear him? Leave." Jesse sighs, but nods and walks off into his car. Vic slams the door and I jumped.

He pulls me to him and hugs me close. I wrap my legs around him and he digs his head into my neck, breathing in my scent. He was still tense and I knew he wanted nothing more than to run after Jesse and kill him. "It's okay, Vic. He's gone now. I'm fine," I say pulling back so I could look at him. I stare into his eyes, willing him to calm down and finally he does.

I place a soft kiss on his lips, smiling when I pull back. He smiles down at me and nods. "Alright."

"Good. Now I want to talk to Jack and Gabe before Jesse gets home.Come on, grab Cope," I say, running to our room where the computer is. I turn it on and put in the password before going to the Skype thingy. I log into my account and call Jack, hoping to do the video chat.

By the time they answer, Vic walks in, placing a kiss on my cheek. I return the gesture before grabbing Cope and kissing her forehead. "Jacky," I squeal.


"When were you planning on tell me that you're dating Gabey?!"

He blushes and bites his lip, "Um... never, to be honest."


"Because I'd knew you'd freak out." I pout at him and Vic bursts out laughing. "Shut up, Vic," I scold, turning away from him to face Jack. He pecks my cheek and I blush. But I send him a small smile and he leans down to peck my lips. It was a short, sweet kiss. We're both smiling as we pull apart, except I'm blushing and Vic isn't.

When I face Jack, he had an eye-brow raised. "So, are you guys together?" I nod. "Since when?"

"Um, yesterday."

"Oh, wow. Well, I'm happy for you," he says and just as I was about respond, a voice interrupts me. Then Gabe comes into view of the camera. "Gabey!"

"Kelly! And Viccy!"

"Hi," Vic says, sending him a small smile. And that made me smile because he was trying to be polite. "How have you guys been," he asks.

"Good," I respond.

"Yeah, they finally got together," Jack says. Gabe smiles, "Finally! We've all been waiting, especially Jesse," and my mood plummets at hearing his name. Gabe was still talking, but I couldn't focus on what he was saying. It's all a blur to me.

Vic noticed my change of mood and wrapped an arm around my waist. I turn to look at him, and he was sending a frown my way. I send him a small smile, but he wasn't buying it. "You okay," he mouths, and I nod. I lower my gaze and take a shakey breath, before turning to face Jack and Gabe.

They had also noticed my change in mood. "You okay, Kellin," Gabe asks.

"Yeah... I-I just had a bad disagreement with Jesse."

"How bad," Gabe asks.

"Um.... he punched me?" They both gasp and Gabe jumps up. "What?! That son of a bitch is going to pay when he gets home! He knows what you went through - hell, he was there - and he goes and does that?! What the actual fuck?!"

"Babe," Jack begins. "Calm down. We'll make Jesse pay, alright?" Gabe nods. But now I'm worried for Jesse's safety.

"Um, can you guys not hurt him?" They all look at me as if I've grown a second head. "What? Why not," Gabe asks, and I see Vic glare at him a bit. I place my hand over his and smile at him when he turns to face me. Then he calms down and I turn back to Gabe.

"I mean, he's still my best friend. He's helped me through everything. He never complained and he always made me feel safe. He listened to my songs. He hugged me at night when I had nightmares. He held me as I cried myself to sleep. He gave me a place to stay. He kept me safe. He bought me clothes and food when he wouldn't. He treated my wounds. Jesse's my best friend, and even though he did hit me, I still love him. So... Please don't hurt him."

Vic grip on my waist tightens a bit. "Fine, we won't hurt him, we'll just yell at him, okay?" Gabe asks and I think about before confirming it. "Okay, but only yelling," I say as I grab Cope and begin to bounce her a bit. She giggles and I smile back. I bring her to my chest and turn back to them. I see them smiling and when I look at Vic, he's smiling too.

"Well, Kellin, we have a date to go to. Talk to you later. Bye," Jack says.

"Bye, guys," Then I pick up Cope's hand and wave it for her. I turn off the computer and lean into Vic's chest. "So, you still love Jesse, huh?" He asks, and his voice was void of emotion. I sit up to look at him and see his face was just as blank, except for the jealousy swarming in his eyes. "Yes."

"Even after he hit you?"

I stay silent and give him a blank look before responding, "I'm with you now, aren't I?"

He glares and I get out of bed. "I'm going out with Cope," then I walk out of the room. When I hear him slam the bedroom door and scream my name, I begin running. Shit, shit, shit. I run out the front door and towards the edge of HQ. Then I feel arms wrap around me. I begin kicking and screaming. I had Cope clutched safely towards my chest.

"Jesus, Kellin, calm down. It's just me," comes an all too familiar voice. What is he still doing here? "Jesse?"


"What are you still doing here?"

"I couldn't leave knowing we aren't on good terms. Please just hear me out."

"No," I say and his grip tightens.

"Please, Kellin."

"Jesse! Let me go!"

"No, Kellin. We need to talk," by now, I was losing my patience.

"Look, Jesse, someone is going to hear me yelling and they'll call Vic. Do you really want him to see you here? Knowing how pissed he is at you?" He stays silent, I knew he was contemplating it. But he didn't put me down, instead he ran with me in his arms. I begin panicking.

"Jesse! What are you doing?! Where are you taking me? Jesse! Don't ignore me! Jesse! JESSE! Put me down!" But he didn't, he just kept running and when the borderline of the gang comes into view I begin fighting back. "Jesse! I have Cope, can we at least drop her off at the house? Or to Vic?"

"We'll give her to Jaime," I feel a smirk coming onto my lips. "Oh? Jaime, huh?" He begins blushing. "Not like that, Kellin."

"Like what?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I continue my game of playing innocent, "I have no idea what you're talking about." He doesn't reply, but begins walking towards the borderline, and just as I was about to ask him where he was going, he stops walking. "Alex?" I hear him ask. Alex? That name sounds familiar.

"Jesse! And.... boy on Jesse's shoulder! Hello!" That voice sounds familiar.

"Babe, that boy on Jesse's shoulder is Kellin." Another voice says. How do they know me?

"Jesse, put me down," he does so this time and when I turn around, I see why the name Alex sounded so familiar. "Kellin!"

"Alex? What are you doing here?"

"I have a gang meet with Vic. Why are you here?"

"Wait - you're in a gang, too? Why is everyone I know in a gang?" I can't believe that Alex is in a gang too.

"I'm the leader of the gang," and of course he's the freaking leader. Fantastic. "And who's the baby," he asks, stroking her cheek.

"Copeland. Cope for short."

"Who's is she?"

"Mine. With Vic." His stroking stops. "Ooh! Someone's getting frisky with Vicky." I begin blushing. "N-No. I found her as her mother was dying and we took her in." He just wiggles his eye-brows. "Alex! It's not like that! I'm still a virgin!"

"What? Really? Kellin, how old are you?"

"22," I mumble.

"Uh-huh. And why, pray tell, are you still a virgin?"

"Um, because no one's ever liked me enough to go out with me? I mean people have tried to rape me."

"Well, let's hope no one does and you actually get to choose when you lose your virginity. I remember you told me you were saving yourself."

"Thanks, Alex."

"Although, I don't get why you're doing that. I lost my virginity to Jack the first week we started going out. And, man, was it amazing! He first started by kis - " Jack cuts him off. "Alex, baby, I don't think they want to hear about our sex life." I send him a grateful look, though, my cheeks were aflame.

"Well, we'll be on our way to Vic's. Bye," he says as he gives me a hug. "Tell Vic Jesse's kidnapping me, okay? Oh, and take Cope to him," I whisper into Alex's ear. I hand her to him and kiss her cheek before walking back to Jesse. He picks me up again and I see Alex and Jack walking towards my house.

He keeps walking until we're past the borderline and he begins leading me through the woods. When we reach a clearing, I see he has a car and he carriss me to it. He opens the passenger seat door for me. Once I get in, he walks around the car to the driver's seat. It was an awkward silence until I decide to break it.




Fuck, why did I say that? I'm such a hypocrite. I've hit Kellin before too - and though I regret it - I can't hold it against him for still wanting to keep JLaw safe. It'd be like asking him to leave me. And I don't ever want to do that.

I was on the couch when I hear the doorbell ring. I get up, but I was confused as to who it was. But when I open the door, I see Alex and Jack, holding.... Copeland? "Hey, Vic, here's your baby. Kellin gave her to is, telling us to give her to you."

I nod, ask, "How do you know Kellin?"

"Oh, we met him when we had meetings with Jesse," and my emotions darken at the mention of him. I nod again. I lead them to my study where we begin the meeting. We talked about what he needs - drugs, members, girls. Although the girls wouldn't be for them since they're together. And we all know that Alex may be the leader, but he always get his ass owned by Jack, if you know what I mean.

And finally the meeting was over, and right before they were about to leave, Alex turns to face me again. "Oh, and by the way, I can't believe I forgot," he says, laughing. "Kellin was kidnapped by Jesse, you know JLaw? Well, yeah, bye," and then he's gone, and his words finally sink in.

"WHAT!" I run out of my study, grabbing my gun along the way. Jesse was going to die, I don't care what Kellin says.



"... I'm so sorry, Kellin," Jesse says, after he explained how horrible he felt, but I was still wary. Yes, Jesse is my best friend, but he broke his biggest promise: he swore he'd never hurt me. He went as far as getting out of the car, walking to my side, opening the door and getting on his knees, begging me to forgive him.

I bite my lip, my eyes were red from crying, and his were too. But can I forgive him? Should I forgive him? "I... I don't know, Jesse. You... You really hurt me. And I just wanted you to be happy!"

"I know, Kellin, I know. And you don't know how sorry I am for punching you. And I know you only wanted what was best for me. I just... I'm so sorry, Kellin. I never meant to hurt you. I was mad at myself for even hitting you. I beat myself up over it. I hate myself for doing that to you. And you have every right to hate me too. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I'm begging for it either way, so please forgive me?"

I get up and walk out of the car and take a shaky breath before looking back at Jesse. "I don't know, Jesse. I don't know if I can forgive you. I know I forgave Vic, but that's because he didn't know what I went through, he didn't promise to never hurt me, he never swore to protect me; you did! And you broke that promise. And I love you, Jesse, I do, but right now, I just don't know," I say, turning around again.

I hear him sigh, "I understand, Kellin. I love you too." And right before he got in his car, Vic crashed through the clearing. "Kellin!"

"Vic? How did you know where to find me?"

"I didn't," he growled out, but not at me. He was staring at Jesse. I immediately grew fearful for Jesse. I turn to face him slowly, "Jesse, you should leave, like now."

"What? No way, not with him! He's holding a gun!"

"He's holding a what," I say, turning to face Vic, and he was indeed holding a gun. He was aiming it at Jesse. And I knew he would pull the trigger. I ran in front of Jesse and stared at Vic. "Vic, put that thing away."

"Get out of the way, Kellin. I'm sick of this fucker always intruding in our lives."

"He's not intruding, he's simply protecting me, and you know why. Now put that gun away, please, Vic."

"No." And I groan. Fine.

"Vic, if you don't put that fucking stupid gun away, I'm taking Cope and leaving to Michigan with Jesse. And I can promise you that I'll make sure you never see any of us again. It's your choice," I say, crossing my arms. I hear Jesse snickering from behind me. But I didn't dare turn around. "Now, Jesse, get in that fucking car, and drive away. Now!"

He did, probably scared because I never really get mad. Vic put the gun away as soon as Jesse leaves. I begin walking back to HQ, making sure to take the long way, wanting to be as far away from Vic at the moment. "Kellin," Vic calls after me and I begin walking faster. I reach the fence and I jump over it.

I run to the house and up the stairs to our room, seeing Cope in her crib, "Hi, baby. Let's hide from Daddy, okay? Good, he's kind of mad at me at the moment, but I'm also mad at it. Now, let's go." But I didn't get far because just as I turned around to grab Cope's things, I was pushed onto the bed, landing on my back.

I didn't have time to get up because then someone is over me. They grab my wrist and hold them over my head. I begin struggling, but their grip tightens. "Vic, stop." But he didn't, he just began kissing my lips, viciously. I try turning my head, but he brought his other hand to hold my face in place.

I feel the tears forming and I clench my eyes shut to avoid any of them escaping, but to no avail. Finally he stops and pulls back and it gives me time to sit up. But as I look at him, I see he only pulled back to take off his shirt. My blood runs cold. He advances onto me again and begins trying to take off my shirt, but I don't let him. "Vic, please stop."

"This is what you get for thinking about leaving." Then he just rips off my shirt, just to begin kissing my neck. I try crawling away, but he pulls me back and begins unbuttoning my shorts. I begin kicking out. "V-Vic, please, stop," I say, sobs escaping. He holds me down with his legs and begins unbuttoning his jeans, only letting me go to let them slide off.

He goes back to my shoulder and begins biting and licking my neck, I whimper when he bites too hard. By now, I was a crying mess, trembling. "Vic, I'm sorry, just please stop." His hands move to my boxers and he sticks his fingers into the elastic. I start freaking out, "No! No! Vic, stop! No, Vic. Please!" He just grips my hips and glares down at me. "Stop moving," he snaps and a sob is his response.

And just as he was about to start pulling them off, Cope begins crying and I have never more grateful for her crying. But turns out Vic didn't care because he kept going. "V-Vic. Baby, she's crying! Let me go," and he glared but complied. I run away from him and to my baby, pulling her to my chest and running into the bathroom.

I fall to my knees and let out all the pained, hurt, and broken sobs, clutching Cope to my chest. "Kellin! Open this door," but I couldn't respond, I was still too shaken. I'd hate to think what would have happened if Cope hadn't started crying. That brings out more pain-filled sobs. Was this a punishment?

I was about to lose my virginity to someone I thought I could trust. When I hear the lock being picked, I freeze and begin sliding away from the door. My back hits the tub, and I stare at the door, frozen in fear. When the knob turns I begin shaking in fear. Vic sticks his head in and the tears keep coming. I wish I could slide further away, that the ground would open up and swallow me.

He walks towards us and I couldn't meet his gaze. I lower my head and close my eyes, letting the tears fall silently. He picks up Cope and leaves the bathroom only to return and pick me up, supporting my neck and behind my knees. The shaking grows harder and the cries are dying to escape my throat.

But this time, he just lays me on the bed. I open my eyes and stare at him, waiting for him to finish what he started. He raises his hand and I flinch, but he just starts stroking my cheek. I couldn't really see him through my blurry vision. "I-I-I'm sorry," I whimper out. He didn't respond straight away, "It's okay, just go to sleep."


When I awake later, I see Vic sitting on the edge of the bed and I begin sliding away from him. I clutch the covers and pull them over me, not wanting to show my flat abdomen. He stares at me sadly. "Kellin, I," he begins, walking to the side of the closer to me with his arms out wide, but I just flinch away.

He slowly begins moving his hand closer to me and places it on my shoulder and I burst our crying. The touch bringing back what happened a few hours ago. He removes his hand immediately. I didn't look at him, couldn't look at him. I feel his presence leave the room and I finally breathe.

I pull my knees to my chest and begin crying into them. I finally let the silent tears out. But my body shaked with the silenced cries. Later Vic walks in again and I tensed up. "Here, Kellin, put on some clothes," he says, and places them beside me. When I look at him, he had turned around so I could change. What's the point now, he already saw me. But I get up, wincing a bit. And when I look at my abdomen, I gasp, there was a bruise in the shape of a hand print.

When it came to putting on my pants, I tried to not bend over so much. And it worked a bit. When I see the shirt Vic gave me was a tank, I open one of my drawers and pull out a long sleeve. I don't want to show any skin right now. I had never felt so exposed, so scared. After getting changed, I get back into the bed, wrapping the covers around me.

And all was quiet until someone burst through the bedroom door. I wince at the sound. But when I look up, I see it's Jesse. "Kellin, oh, my God, Kellin," he says walking to me and when he gets close enough, I slide away from him in fear. The tears were building up in my eyes looking at his out-stretched hand.

Jesse begins glaring at Vic accusingly. "What did you do to him?!" But Vic stayed quiet. "Kellin, baby, what did he do to you?"

"He-He t-tried t-t-to r-r-r-rape m-me," and the waterworks just started again. "You what? And you get mad at me for punching him when you were about to take away the one thing that means a lot to him?! How could you?!" Then I hear Jesse punch him before walking to me slowly, I tense up and begin crying harder. "Kellin, Kellin, baby, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, it's me, Jesse. I'm not going to hurt you."

And I knew I could trust him, but I'm just so scared. "J-Jesse?"

"Yes. Now I'm going to touch you," and I begin panicking. "No, no, Kellin, it's okay. I'm not going hurt you, okay?"


"Good, now I'm about to touch you, alright," and I nod. And then I feel a hand touch my covered arm, and I feel as if the breath was knocked out of my lungs. I felt constricted, I can't breathe. Jesse immediately removes his hand, probably noticing something was wrong. "Shh, Kellin, it's okay. It's okay. I'm not going to touch, not unless you want me to," Jesse continues in his soothing voice. I nod.

"Good, now go back to sleep, okay?" And I nod again, laying down.



I can't believe I did that. My heart broke knowing I caused all that pain in Kellin. It's all my fault. Why did I let my anger get the best of me? And because of it, Kellin is in bed, shaking in fear, scared of human contact. Cope was still asleep, I rocked her to sleep after laying Kellin's body on the bed.

He had flinched at my touch and I knew that because of me, we had just lost all the progress we made with Kellin. We were back at square one. And all because Kellin stood up for someone who punched him while I go almost rape him.

I had called JLaw to see if he could make Kellin feel better, but Kellin was just scared of him as well. And that's when I knew the serious amount of fear I had just inflicted on Kellin. My poor, sweet Kellin, his beautiful wide eyes with tears swirled inside of them. Fear etched into them. Betrayal shining through them.

Jesse was fuming. "I hope you realize that you have just caused him the most pain anyone could have ever done. He really trusted you and he was beginning to like you. And you just threw that all away. Good luck getting him to fall for you again. Because what you just did to him now, it diminished whatever chance you had of getting Kellin's love."

And that was all he said to me before walking back into the room with Kellin. But it was enough to make me cry. But he was right, I had just hurt Kellin, I even witnessed it. How could I do that? I know what his uncle did to him, so why would I stoop to his level?

It was just the stupid jealousy I felt for Jesse. That Kellin would still choose him over me. And he has every right, but I just... I want him to do that for me. And now, he probably never will. Whatever relationship we had is probably now gone. Whatever chance of him falling for me dead. And all because I was jealous of Jesse, when they both don't even like each other like that.



He gripped my hips before moving down to the inside of my thighs, and I w as screaming my voice off, begging him to stop. "No! No! Vic! Stop! STOP!" But he didn't, wouldn't. He had ripped off my shirt minutes prior and was now working on my pants, I was struggling against, but he was stronger than me.

He punches me and takes that as a chance to pull them off, along with my underwear. I was sobbing by this point, and he didn't seem to care. I feel his hand trailing to my back and then sliding down to my butt. I grow tense, what was he going to do? Then I find out.

He sticks one finger inside me and I whimper at the feeling of being stretched out. "Vic, please," I beg him. But he ignores me. And then he sticks in another. And I was trying so hard to get away. And then he retracts his fingers only to remove all his clothes. "No! No! Vic, no!" But he did.

"Kellin, wake up," he says. And I stare at him in confusion.

"Kellin - "

"Wake up," I hear Jesse say, and I sit up in bed panting. Jesse wasn't touching me, but he was near me. "Wh-What h-happened?"

"You screaming in your sleep. Yelling no and begging Vic to stop. What were you dreaming about anyway?"

"Wh-What h-happened a-a f-few h-hours a-ago." His expression shows a pained one at hearing that. But why? I'm not worth getting upset over. I'm not worth anything. Jesse looks at me before speaking, "Kellin, can-can I hug you," he asks, cautiously. And I just stare at him for a while, fear coursing through me.

"You can say no, Kellin. You have a choice, don't worry," he says, soothingly. And I nod, "Okay. You can hug me." He smiles and wraps his arms around me gently. And at first, I was tense, but when I breathed in his scent, I relax. His scent was familiar and warm, calming. I can trust him.

I hug him back and he clutches me closer and harder. "Oh, thank God. Now I know you'll be okay," he says, and I can hear the smile and laugh in his voice. "Come on, grab Cope, you're sleeping with me tonight." I nod and grab a sleeping Cope and Jesse her crib. We carry the things to a spare room and he sets the crib beside the bed and I get in it.

"Kellin, I'm going to take off my clothes and change into sweat pants, okay?"

"Okay." I turn away when he gets naked though, blushing. I feel him get into the bed and I hug him close. "Good night, Kellin."

"G-Good ni-night, Jess-e." And how I went to sleep I have no idea because all I have been doing is sleep. But I managed. And this time when I went to sleep, I didn't have a nightmare about Vic doing that to me. And it's so strange because just last night, we shared our first real kiss. And this morning he was protecting me from Jesse, but now it seems reversed.

But I do know I'll forgive him eventually. I'll get over this. After all, I've gotten over everything else that's happened to me. This is just another bump in the road I don't want to walk, but have to regardless of what I want. And I'll do it, with my head held high. I will walk over this bump, with the help of Jesse. But I will.

And I have start by talking to Vic.

Chapter Text

I get out of bed tentatively. It was dark, so I couldn't see. I walk around blindly and I hit something. Next thing I know, something lands on my left shoulder. I hiss in pain and grab my shoulder, but it stings to the touch. I sigh, but continue on my way until I finally find the door and walk out.

I really didn't want to to talk to Vic, but I know I have to. If I don't, I probably never will. And I need the closure, so if I do this, I'll be closer to closure. This will make healing better. I reach the bedroom door and I pull at the sides of the shirt so it's touching my flat stomach.

I knock on the door and the longer the door takes to open the more nervous I become. I pull at my sleeve getting them to cover my hands. I step from one foot to another. I bite my lip in anticipation. What is taking him so long? I wait a little bit more before I sigh in defeat. I turn to walk away when the door opens.

I tense up, but turn to face him anyway. "Kellin," he breathes. I held my breath. "V-Vic."

"What are you doing here," he asks softly.

"I-I-I-I n-need to t-talk to y-you."

"Can't it wait till morning?" I don't respond straight away, it could, but at the same time it shouldn't. We need to clear the air betwen us now. He sighs and was about to close the door, but I reach out and grab his bicep. "No, it can't wait," I say. He looks at my hand on him, giving a small smile at it. Then I pull it back immediately, blushing.

But he nods, "Alright, come in," he says, opening the door wider. I walk inside cautiously. He takes a seat on the bed and I stand awkwardly. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

My eyes snap to his and I begin blushing. "I-I d-don't w-want t-this to a-a-ffect ou-our r-rel-lati-tionsh-ship." He stares, just stares at me, and then he laughs, a bitter laugh. "Kellin, I think it's already affected our relationship. I mean, just look at yourself. You're stuttering! You can't stand human contact! You've covered yourself in clothing!"

"That's normal, Vic! You tried to rape me! Who wouldn't react the way I am? But that doesn't mean I won't get past this. I know Jesse will help me get better, but will you?" He stays silent. And I know his answer, I sigh and begin walking to the door. Just as my hand reaches the door knob, my body is whirled around to face him. "I will help you. But we need to get past the first step," he says.

"And what's that?"

"This," and he presses his lips to mine. I tense up as soon as they touch and I was about to begin freaking out when he pulls back and begins stroking my cheek. I look up at him, my eyes searching his face. He didn't mean any harm. I can trust him. With that I pull him back down, smashing our lips together.

He grabs the back of my head and I pull at his hair. He licks my bottom lip and I moan as his tongue comes in contact with my mouth. He moans back and grabs my hips, pushing our crotches together. I tense a bit, but when he runs a hand down my back soothingly, I relax my shoulders. But my body was still alert. "It's okay," he whispers in my ear, and my whole body relaxes.

He picks me up bridal style, not disconnecting our lips, and walks us to the bed. He lays me on the bed and that's when he disconnects our lips. He gets on top of me, his arms beside my head, and he just lays there, waiting for me to react. But I couldn't, I felt pressured. I felt trapped. I was about to begin to start crying. And he must have noticed because he switches us around.

Now I was straddling him. He had both hands on my hips to hold me. I was over his penis and I blushed as I felt his arousal. My blush darkened as I saw his lustful gaze on me, but it also full of some dazed expression. I lower my face, bashfully, looking at him through my eye-lashes.

"I love you, Kellin." And I tense up, gasping. I try climbing off of him, but his grip on my hips tighten. "Kellin," he says, sternly, sitting up. I kept struggling, Oh, no, I'm trapped. "Kellin, look at me." I don't. "Kellin, look at me," he says, and I clench my eyes shut before snapping them to meet Vic's.



His wide eyes stared up at me innocently. He looked so adorable, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. His eyes were searching my face, irises darting from left to right. They looked so afraid, confused, and surprised. His eyes bore into mine, questioning me. Are you telling me the truth, they said.

"Kellin, I love you. I know you may not return those feelings, but I just wanted you to know." He stayed silent for a while, just looking at me. Confusion the most dominant feeling. Almost like he was confused as to why someone loved him. And he swallows hard before asking that exact question. "Why?"

I almost laugh at that. What's not to love about him? "Kellin, you're amazing."

He shakes his head, blushing, "No, I'm not."

"You are. Who else do you know that would take in a baby he doesn't even know? Who else would go back to me to protect a friend? Who else would endure a lot of non-consesual touching, but still talk to the person who did it? You did all that. You also took care of Jack when Jesse had his men beat him. You befriended four gang leaders. You made one fall for you. You brought people together. You took care of Tony when Mike had hurt him, not caring about yourself.

You endured abuse from your uncle for eight years. You've endured bullying in your school years and yet graduated college. You're raising Cope as your own. You forgave Jesse and I for ever laying a hand on you. And I tried to rape you, but yet here you are, on my lap. You were just kissing me, and you asked me to help you get over what I did.

You're incredibly nice. You have the biggest heart I have ever seen. You still smile and laugh even in your situation. You've learned to like me. You blush at the littlest things. You're so shy.

And then it's not just your personality. It's also your looks. You're gorgeous, beautiful, pretty, adorable, cute. From your black hair that falls perfectly around your face. To your cute little button nose that scrunches up when you don't like something which is hardly ever. And then your lips, the perfect shade of pink. The perfect shape. And the most teasing of all. When you part them just a bit, like right now. Your body that I would love to look at and memorize." He blushes at that and lowers his head.

I place my hand under his chin and raise his head. "And finally," I say, looking into his wide orbs. "It's your eyes. They're three colors in one - blue, green, and gray. Then they're also very wide that shows your innocence. I could stare into your eyes all day and not get bored. Having your beautiful, wide eyes stare into mine is enough for me." He was on fire by the time I finished, his face was so red. I had to laugh.

"And, yeah, Kellin," I say, turning serious. "I know I'm not the easiest one to love. But every ounce I have, I invest in you. But no one said love's not for taking chances. I'd do anything for you. I love you." He was gaping at me, an adorable pink tint to his round cheeks. "Vic, I-I... I don't know what to say. I," he swallows hard. "I don't love you yet - not like that - but I do like you. And I do know I care for you very much. I'd hate for you to get hurt.

And I know I will love you eventually. So, if you could just wait for me." He lowers his voice and head. He looked a bit afraid at the fact that I could explode in anger. "Kellin, I'd wait forever for you." He smiles.

"They say that love is forever," he begins.

"Your forever is all that I need," I finish.

"Please stay forever with me."

"Can't promise that things won't be broken," I say sincerely. And I know he noticed it. "But I swear that I will never leave," he says and pecks my lips. Then I get an idea. I pick him up off my lap setting him on the bed so his legs were beside him. Then I pick him up bridal style again and walk to the window with the balcony.

I set him down and grab his hand before beginning to pull him closer to the edge. He looked a bit weary at being on here, but we were only in the middle of the balcony, half way to the edge. So I put his arms around my neck and I place mine at his waist and beginning moving. Not really dancing, but just swaying. And he sends me a small smile.

"Don't react when I tell you...
And don't react when I tell you...
That bright lights mean nothing to you.
'Cause no one would know,
The sound of a ghost.
And I might be something to you.
Beyond beautiful,
Is the sound of a ghost.

Can we lose our minds,
And call it love for the last time?
My darling never rests,
Until the darker gets,
The best of all we had.
Can the cold carry on?

When the light means nothing to you,
Then no one would know the sound of a ghost.
And I might be perfect with you,
But no one would know (But no one would know).
So tell me, tell me."

I move us closer to the edge, only stopping when we're a few feet away.

"Have you ever really danced on the edge?
Is something still scaring you?
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
The count to three is up.
Have you ever really danced on the edge?
Alright, then tell me so."

I pull my hand away, and walk to the edge. The back of my legs touching the railing.

"Have you ever really danced on the edge," I ask, holding out my hand.

"Just hold my hand and go."

I finish, him placing his hand in my mine. I pull him closer and this time, I hold him close. I begin dancing us around, next to railing.

"And bright lights mean nothing to you.
'Cause no one would know ('Cause no one would know).
The sound of (The sound of) a ghost.
(Ah, no one would know).
The sound of a ghost."

I finish, pressing our foreheads together. He opens his closed eyes and smiles at me. His amazing, heart-stopping smile. "That was beautiful," he whispers. And we stayed like that in each other's embrace, basking in each other. I turned him around so he was looking out the balcony and I wrap my arms around him, placing my head on his shoulder. And it was perfect but all good things must come to an end.

"Can we go to bed," he asks. I nod, smiling. He lays down and I lay down beside him, pulling him closer by the waist.



But the movement made me whimper in pain as it pulled on my injured shoulder. And I remember what had happened before I came here. And Vic noticed.

"What's wrong," he asks. I sit up and bring my hand to my shoulder, but I gasp at the pain. What fell on my shoulder? He sits up as well, urgently. "What happened?"

"On my way here, I bumped into something and that caused something else to fall on my shoulder and it hurts."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I forgot," I say. He sighs and rubs a hand down his face. I lower my head in shame, until I feel him lowering the sleeve off my shoulder. I begin shaking, "V-Vic, wh-what... what are you doing?"

"Relax. I promise I won't hurt you," and then his lips are on my shoulder. At first I'm tense, Oh, God, he's touching me. But then I relax when he removes his lips and brings them down to another part of my shoulder. He was placing little kisses - or as he taught me, Besitos - over my injured shoulder. It felt good, it soothed the pain. I throw my head to the side, allowing him more access. But he didn't take it, he just focused on my throbbing shoulder. And I sigh in content when the pain goes away. "Better," he asks. And I nod.

"Thank you."

This time he lays me down, careful of my shoulder. Then he lays down and places an arm over my waist. Not pulling closer, just laying it there. "Good night," I say.

"Good night."


The next morning I wake up to the door being burst open. I sit up immediately and see Jesse standing there in his boxers. I feel Vic sit up as well. "Kellin, there you are! Are you okay? How did you get here? Did you take him, Vic? I swear I will kill you!"

"Jesse, Jesse, calm down. I came here on my own. And where's Cope?"

"Still sleeping. And what do you mean you came here on your own?"

"I came here on my own." He gives me an unimpressed look. "Why?"

"I-I-I-I needed to talk to Vic."

"You could have told me! Do you know how worried I was?!" I flinch at the raised voice. "I'm sorry," I mumble, lowering my head.

"Hey," Vic snaps. "Don't talk to him that way," he hisses. "Don't you see how he reacts to it!" Then he pulls me close, careful with my shoulder and whispers in my ear soothingly, "It's okay. Don't be afraid." I nod, but don't raise my head. "Leave the room. Oh, and bring Cope and her crib," Vic commands before turning his attention back to me.

I look at Jesse through my eye-lashes and his jaw was set, but he walks out of the room. I kinda blush at the fact that Jesse was in boxers only. "Kellin, why are you blushing?"

"O-Oh, just that Jesse was only in his boxers," I mumble, shyly, my cheeks darkening. He expression darkens and I knew he was jealous. I will never understand that. Why would he get jealous? I'm not that great. And I don't even like Jesse like that. He's just my best friend. Next thing I know, there's a phone ringing. I grab from the bedside table.


"Hey, Kellin. It's Justin."

"Oh, hey, Justin."

"Hi. Listen, is Jesse still over there? He was supposed to come yesterday, but he hasn't arrived."

"Yeah, he's still here. I thought he would have told you guys he was staying."

"Do you know why he stayed?"

"Oh, uh, um... something happened between Vic and I."

"Oh, alright. Can you tell him to call me back?"

"Of course."

"Thanks, Kellin. Oh, and by the way, I miss your ass, when are you coming to visit? Jack and Gabe seriously want to see you! And me too!" I laugh a bit. "I miss you guys too. I wish you could visit me!"

"Ha! Funny you'd say that. That's why I need to talk to Jesse. We want to see if he'll let us come down."

"I can ask Vic if he'll let you guys. I'm hoping he says yes. I really want to see all three of you."

"Right! But I'll let you now. Talk to you later."

"Bye, Justin." Then I hang up. When I turn around, I bump into Vic's firm chest. I look up at him. "Yes," I mumble as a question, flinching a bit.

"Who was that?"

"That was Justin, a friend from Jesse's gang. He also kinda helped to beat up Jack? But he's actually really nice."

"Right. And you want him to visit, along with Jack and Gabe."

"Well, yes."

"Ok. Sure, they can come."


"Yeah." I smile big and jump into his arms. "Thank you. I'll go tell Jesse. But speaking of Jesse, where is he? He should have brought Cope by now." And just then he bursts through the doors with Cope in one arm and the crib in another. "Cope," I scream a bit. I run to her and pick her from his arms. Vic walks to Jesse and helps him place the crib beside the bed where it was before.

"Oh, Jesse. Justin, Jack, and Gabe want to visit. And Vic said it was okay."

"Ok. I'll call them," and he whips out his phone. I vaguely hear him talking to someone while I coo at my baby girl. "Hi, baby. I've missed you. Yes, I have. Aw, you're such a cute baby, yes, you are. Yes, you are. You are." She giggles at me.

"Aww. I love you, baby girl." I was about to say something else when Jesse walked in. "Ok. The guys are driving to the airport already."

"By when should they be here?"

"A few hours." I nod, excited. Yes, I can finally see them again. I feel Vic come up behind me. I tense up a bit but then he comes around so he's in front of me. Then I relax. He gives me a small smile before taking Cope from me. He smiles at her and beginnings holding her high in the air causing her to smile.

And that brought a smile to my face. It was obvious that Vic does really  love Copeland. He smiled up at her and she giggled at him, making grabby hands at him. He's so good with her. I wonder if Alan already told Austin he wanted a kid.



"Au-Austin, can we... um, can we talk," I ask him as he steps out of the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He's so hot. With his tattooed chest. And his scar made him look so badass. I feel myself drooling - three years of marriage and he still makes me feel like a school girl. No, Alan, calm down. "What is it," he asks, walking to the drawers.

"Ok. Um, you know how a month ago, we visited Kellin and Vic?"

"Yeah," he says, dropping the towel and putting on his underwear. I stare at him and bite my lip. No, Alan. Focus. "Right, well, remember how we met Cope?"

"Yes. Where are you going with this?"

"Let me get there, okay?" He stops getting dressed and starts watching me. Like really, watching me. He stares curiously at me. "Alright. Go on."

"Right, well. Being there - and holding Cope - it made me realize something."

"Alan," he says, walking closer to me. I think he caught on to what I was trying to say. "No, Austin, I've wanted this for a while. And - And - Austin, I want a kid."

"Alan, we can't."

"Why not?"

"Alan, in case you haven't noticed, we're in a gang. It'd be too dangerous for the child."

"In case you haven't noticed, Vic is the leader of a gang and he has a daughter."

"Alan, I just - I don't think we're ready for a child."

"But... why not?"

"Alan, we've had a lot going on in our lives. What - with your dad trying to still keep in contact with you - "

"So, that's what this is about? You don't think I'm ready for kids because of my dad! Are you serious? I though we were over that! That's it, isn't it?"

"Alan, I - "

"No. You know what? Whatever. I need a shower," I say, walking to the bathroom with my head down.

"Alan, I love you."

"Yeah, I love you, too," I mumble, walking into the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes and get into the hot water, but not before locking the door. I don't want Austin walking in. I finally let the hot water hit my face. And I let the water run down my face along with my tears. He doesn't think I'm ready. I let out a sob.

I don't know how long I stayed under the water, but it must have been a long time since Austin is knocking on the door. "Alan! Alan, are you okay in there?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm about to walk out."

"Alright, I'll be in bed. Don't take too long." I really hope he doesn't want sex because that is not happening tonight. But he probably doesn't, Austin isn't one to take advantage of my emotions.

I walk out of the shower and dry myself off with the towel before wrapping it around my waist. I walk out of the bathroom to see Austin already asleep in bed. I get dressed before walking out of the room, quietly. I pick up my phone and call Kellin.


"Alan, what's wrong," he asks.

"I-I told him."

"You did? Oh... and I'm guessing it didn't go well." My sob was his response. "Can I go to Mexico with you?"

"Of course you can. But how will you get out? And when?"

"Don't worry about it. But I'll leave now. I'm going to Phil and Tino's house and I'll have them drive me."

"Ok. I'll be waiting. I can't wait to see you. Oh, and some friends will be over."

"That's fine. I'll be there in a few hours."

"Bye, Alan."

"Bye." Then I put my phone away, I walk back into our bedroom and take money from Austin. "Alan?" I tense. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just going to get a cup of water, then I'll be right back."

"Ok," and then he knocks out. I hold my breath for a while and I don't move a musle. But I walk to the front door when he doesn't move and out into the streets, beginning to walk to Phil's place. The night air prickly at my skin. I shiver at the cold. But I finally reach their house and I ring the doorbell.

Phil opens up. "Phil, I'm going to Mexico, can you drive me to the airport?"


"Something happened between Austin and I, and I just don't want to see him."

"Ok. Let's go," and he grabs the keys from the table.

"But you can't tell anyone - not Tino, Aaron, Shayley and especially not Austin."

"I promise." Then we go to his car and we drive off. When we reach the airport, I take out the money I took from Austin and pay for my ticket. "See you later, Phil."

"Bye, Alan." I board my plane after doing every we have to do. I take my seat, I place my headphones and begin to listen to Mayday Parade. This was going to be a long ride.



Gabe, Jack, and Justin had already arrived and now we were waiting for Alan. I wonder how Vic felt about all this, he had five guests here for who knows how long. I'm still kind of scared of letting him touch me. But it's a bit better, I just have to get used to it being him. Jesse touching me is fine. And when Gabe and Jack and Justin greeted me with hugs, I didn't freak out, I just tensed.

They cooed over Cope. Justin was the worst out of the three. He made this weird baby voice and the faces he made were hilarious. Then when Jack and Gabe played with her, they looked like parents to me and I smiled. But Cope appeared to love them, so it was fine.

When I hear the doorbell ring, I immediately know it's Alan. I jump out of my seat and run to the door, Vic trailing behind. When I open the door, I see Alan with red-rimmed eyes and a broken expression. I pull him in for a hug and he hugs back. "Oh, Alan, what happened?"

"H-He doesn't think I'm ready for children."

"Oh, it's okay. Go to my room, I'll be right there," I tell him. He nods and walks to the stairs. I turn to face Vic. I run to hug him. "It's okay," he says, running a hand down my back. "He'll be fine. And you're there as a shoulder to cry on."

"I know. It just - it hurts seeing him in such pain."

"I know, but he'll be okay. Now, go. I'll tell the others what you're doing." I pull back and kiss the corner of his lips, "Thank you, Vic." He smiles and nods before placing a kiss on my forehead. I smile and walk to the stairs. When I reach my bedroom door, I open in quietly and peer into my room to see Alan, laying on my bed.

I walk to the bed and lay down beside him. "So, why are you wearing a long-sleeve shirt and sweatpants in Mexico," he asks, smiling a bit.

"Oh, Vic tried to rape me. And he got far - he didn't get to penetrate me - so I don't feel comfortable wearing my tank tops and shorts since I feel really exposed."

"He... What?!?!?!" Next thing I know, he's running out the door and into the living room. "VIC! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I wince for Vic. I knew he was going to get it from Alan. Everyone turns to face the pissed off Alan. "What did I do?"

"Don't play stupid. You know exactly what you did."

"Kellin, what is he talking about?"

"How dare you even look at him," Alan snaps.

"Um, he asked why I was wearing a long-sleeve and I told him. And he kind of exploded and here we are now," I say, sheepishly. He nods in understanding.

"Why are you wearing those clothes, Kellin," Gabe asks. I feel myself pale excessively. "Um, um, uh," I begin, but thankfully Jesse comes to my rescue. "I'll tell you guys later." They nod, but looked uneasy and Vic looked impassive. He stared blankly at Alan who was glaring at him.

"Come on, Alan. Let's go back to my room," I say, placing my hand on his shoulder. He whirls around to face, "How are you still sleeping with him?"

"Alan, I'll explain everything in the room, but please calm down," I say, pulling on his arm. He lets me pull him, but his glare was fixiated on Vic. I pull him up the stairs and when we get into the room is when he hugs me close. "Oh, my God, Kellin. I'm here crying over Austin not wanting kids, when you were almost raped. I'm such a terrible human being."

"Alan," I mumble into his chest. "You're not a terrible human being, you didn't know."

"How are you still sleeping with him?"

"Alan, he really does feel bad. He spent most of the time crying after he realized what he had done. And he's been trying to get me to forgive him. And he didn't even get to rape me because Cope started crying. So I'm still a virgin. Now, tell me about what happened between you and Austin."

And he spent the next while telling me how the conversation went. He started crying a few times when he told me about how Austin brought up his dad as an excuse. How that made Alan feel inadequate, like he wouldn't make a good parent. I hold him as he cries, crying a bit with him.



"Sing me a song."

"Okay." I comtemplate what song I should sing to him before it finally comes to me.

"Yeah, yeah.

Don't wake me up,
If I'm sleeping this life away.
Tell me that I'll never be good enough.
Sometimes it hurts to think,
It could really be that.
It won't be that way.

I'm tired and I'm lost.
I don't want to be found.
I put my heart and my soul and strength in this now.
So forgive 'cause I won't forget that,
Yeah, this world has changed me.
So you know when you ask me.

Who are you now?
Did you say what you want?
Don't go back to the start.
I'm asking,
Who are you now?
Did they break you apart?
Won't you fight back for what you want.

Sometimes you've got to fall before you fly.
We're going to work it out.

Yeah, yeah.

Don't, don't, don't wake me up.
'Cause I hate who I am today.
So come on, come on.
And just take, take, take what you want (what you want).
Isn't that what we're living for?
We're always wanting more.
(Always take, take, take, take, take).

You made me hate my own reflection.
Question every choice I make.
So I could try to be perfect.
But I won't try to be fake.
So forgive 'cause I really could care less that,
This world has changed me.
So you know when you ask me.

Who are you now?
Did you say what you want?
Don't go back to the start.
I'm asking,
Who are you now?
Did they break you apart?
Won't you fight back for what you want.

Sometimes you've got to fall before you fly.
Sometimes to really live, you've got to try.
We can change it all together.
In the end you're going to find,
That what we felt in our hearts was real the whole time.
When you open up your eyes,
I hope that you'll find,
Who you are,
Who you are!

Who are you now?
Who are you now!

Who are you now?
Did you say what you want?
Don't go back to the start.
I'm asking,
(Who are you?)
Who are you now?
(Who are you?)
Did they break you apart?
(Who are you?)
Won't you fight back for what you want.
(Who are you?)

Sometimes you've got to fall before you fly.
Sometimes you've got to fall before you fly.
We're going to work it out."

"That was beautiful, Kellin. What inspired that?"

"When I lived with my uncle, I didn't ever want to lose myself, so I wrote this song. And I put all the emotions I felt in it."

"You're lyrics are amazing, Kellin. You could make a living singing. You have the voice for it." I blush at the compliment. "Thank you." And we stayed in silence until I hear comotion coming from downstairs. I look at Alan, confused, and he sent me the same expression. We get off the bed and walk to the door.

We run downstairs and when we walk into the living room, I feel my jaw drop. There stood Jack, Gabe, and Justin beating up Vic. And Vic wasn't even fighting back. Jesse was busy trying to calm Cope down since she was crying. "Hey," I call out. And they all stop to look at me. "What the hell is going on?"

"Jesse told us what Vic did to you."

"And did Jesse not tell you I forgave him? Look, guys, I appreciate how much you care for me, but you can't keep beating up people. And you hear Cope crying over you guys doing that to Vic." I walk to Vic and help him up. And he groaned a bit. "Jesse, bring Cope."

I help him walk up the stairs and when we reach our bedroom, I lay him on the bed. When I turn back, I see Cope trying to reach out to Vic and that sight breaks my heart. I take Cope from Jesse and sit beside Vic where Cope reaches out to him more.

I place her on the bed beside Vic and he smiles at her. She tries crawling onto his chest, so I pick her up and place her there and Vic wraps an arm around her. "Jesse, could you get me a wet cloth and a bowl of water." And I hear him walk out.

When he returns, he has brought what I asked. "Can you hold Cope while I clean you up," I ask Vic since I knew neither one wanted to be separated from the other. He nods. I clean the blood trailing from Vic's forehead to his cheek. And any other blood I see. When I finish with the blood, I look at his bruises.

I trace my fingertips over a bruise on his cheek and he had an expression of pure bliss. He was smiling with his eyes closed and Cope.was calm, just looking at him. It's funny how when he's calm, she's calm. When he's hurting, she's upset. When he's angry, she's sad. It's like she knows his emotions. They just have this bond.

But I finished fixing him up. I give a bit of water to drink and let him rest. I kiss his bruised cheek. Then I take Cope and beginning rocking her so she'd fall asleep. When she does, I place her in Vic's arm beside him. I place a kiss on her forehead and I smile at them before leaving the room.



I had left Kellin with Vic and exited with Jesse. But then I feel my phone vibrating. I take it out and pale at who's name is on the screen. Why is he calling me? I press ignore and continue on my way. But then it starts vibrating again. And I press ignore again. And when the pattern continues, I turn of my phone.

I see Kellin walk into the living room and walk up to him. "Hey, Kellin, I'm going to go to bed now. What room do I stay in?"

"You can choose any room you want, to be honest." I nod.


"You're welcome. Good night, Alan."

"Night, Kellin." I walk up the stairs and into the room I slept in the first time I visited. I get into the bed and I sigh at how empty it felt. No, Alan. Don't think about him. I wonder if I'll get nightmares. That was one of the reasons I love sleeping beside Austin - because he always chased my nightmares. I didn't get them with him. And if I did, he'd calm me down.

I sigh and close my eyes, trying to go to sleep.



When I walk into the living room, Alan asks me where he'll be staying and I answer his question. Then he's off to bed and I'm left with Jesse, Jack, Justin, and Gabe. And I stare them down, my face impassive, and they looked nervous. But then my face breaks into a grin. "I've missed you, guys," I say, since I never really got the chance to do it before.

They relax and run to hug me. I smile and laugh when they do. "We've missed you too, Kellin." And it was just us, all of Sleeping with Sirens. Because even though I was with Vic, I did consider myself a Siren as well as a Pierce. I was both but right now I was a Siren. Sleeping with Sirens was my home just as much as Pierce the Veil.

"So," I begin, smirking. "Any love interests, Justin?"

"What? Why me? Why not Jesse?"

"I already know his, isn't that right, Jesse?" And he begins blushing. The others begin laughing. "Ooh, who is it," Gabe asks.

"No one," he answers just as I say, "Jaime."

"What? Really? Jaime," Justin asks.

"Guys, shut up," Jesse whines, blushing. And I laugh.

"Aww, he's blushing," Jack points out. And I laugh harder. I've missed these guys. "But in all honesty, Justin, anyone," I ask and he shakes his head. "Nah. Why - you interested," he asks, cockily, wiggling his eye-brows and I laugh. "Ew. No." He simply laughs with me.

"Jack and Gabe, how did you guys begin going out," I ask and Jack begins blushing. Now I was really interested.

"Ok," Gabe begins. "Well, I was unwrapping Jack's ribs since we had taken him to a hospital. And when I looked at him, he was just staring at me. But I continued. Then I wrap them up again. Jesse and Justin were out somewhere. Anyway, I was wiping Jack's wounds since they started bleeding again, and he said, out of nowhere, 'Kiss me,' and I was just like what? - "

"What? No!" Jack interrupts. "You actually started blushing, but you leaned in for the kiss. And we kissed and ta-da, we're together."

"Aww. That's so cute."

"Kellin, you think everything's cute."

"Shut up, Jesse."

"You only say that 'cause you know it's true."

"Shut up," I say. Then I got an idea. "Jesse, can we go play music?"

"Sure. It's a good thing Vic's music room is soundproof. Let's go." Then we're walking down the hall to said room. The others gasp when they see the room. And they each run to a certain instrument. "Oh, baby, baby," Gabe moans, feeling up a drum set.

"Hey, Gabe, should we give you two some privacy," Justin asks, laughing, refering to the drums. Gabe just flips him off before grabbing drum sticks and beginning to play something. Oh, he's good. "Gabe, I have something for you to play," I say, and walk to his side. I tell him about one of my songs and he nods at the idea. "Who else can play?" And they all raise their hands. I smile. Good.

By the time I was done with them, they knew what to play and when to sing. I was excited to hear how it would turn out. Hopefully good. I nod at them and as soon as I begin they start.

"Stay for tonight,
If you want to,
I can show you,
What my dreams are made of.
As I'm dreaming of your face.

I've been away for a long time,
Such a long time.
And I miss you there.
I can't imagine being anywhere else,
I can't imagine being anywhere else but here.

How the hell,
Did you ever pick me?
Honestly, I can sing you a song.
But I don't think words,
Can express your beauty.
It's singing to me.
How the hell,
Did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me.
I fell in love from the moment we kissed.
Since then we've been history.

Oh, Oh, Oh.

They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
(Is all that I need).
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
(I will never leave).
Please stay forever with me.

It goes to show,
I hope that you know that you are,
What my dreams are made of.
Can't fall asleep,
Can't fall asleep,
I lay in bed awake,
In my bed awake at night.
As I dream of you.
I'll fall in love.
You'll fall in love.
It could mean everything,
Everything to me.
I can't imagine being anywhere else.

They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
(Is all that I need).
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
(I will never leave).
Please stay forever with me.

The way that we are, (Ah, Ah, Ah)
Is the reason I stay. (Ah, Ah, Ah)
As long as you're here with me, (Ah, Ah, Ah)
I know I'll be okay. (Ah, Ah, Ah)

The way that we are, (Ah, Ah, Ah)
Is the reason I stay. (Ah, Ah, Ah)
As long as you're here with me,
I know I'll be okay.

They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
(Is all that I need).
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
(I will never leave).
Please stay forever with me.

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one, baby).
They say that love is forever.
Your forever is all that I need.
(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl).
Please stay as long as you need.

(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one, baby).
Can't promise that things won't be broken.
But I swear that I will never leave.
(I couldn't love just anyone, I was created to love just one girl).
Please stay forever with me."

By the time we were done, I was panting and sweating, and when I look back, so were the guys. "That was awesome," I say, gasping. They nod, agreeing. "Let's do it again. But with a different song," Gabe says. And I nod. "Do something upbeat, though," Jesse says.

"How do you feel about sassy and mean?" They all smirk and I begin explaining what I want them to do. We were all eager to begin and I was finally done explainging. They all get to their positions and begin. Playing until it's my time to sing.

"Don't fuck with us NOW!

You're a hypocrite.
You're so full of shit.
You want everyone to just think, and look, and act just like you do.
But we're over it.
We're not giving in.
And now it's time to pray for forgiveness,
For the selfish things you do.
Oh, oh.

I've got a short fuse,
So don't you p-p-push it, man. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
Don't fuck with me,
You better back off while you can. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
I've got you right where I want you.
And this is how it ends,
It ends with me on top,
You down there at the bottom.
Don't fuck with us.
We're the best there ever was.

So, what'd you think this was?
You want to seem dangerous.
It must be so hard for you not to seem like the coward that you are.
And when it's said and done.
And when you've got no one.
Then you'll have to pray forgiveness for the man that you've become.

I hope you feel so disrespected!

I've got a short fuse,
So don't you p-p-push it, man. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
Don't fuck with me,
You better back off while you can. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
I've got you right where I want you.
And this is how it ends,
It ends with me on top,
You down there at the bottom.
Don't fuck with us.
We're the best there ever was.

We're the best there ever was.
We're the best there ever was.
Best there ever was.

Check it, Oh!
If you copy one,
Or you copy two.
There'll be a million motherfuckers that are just like you.
But if you keep it real.
And you stay true.
There's nothing in this life that you can't do.

Come on.
What, what, what, what.
Get up, get up.

People try to hate you when you make it to the top.
Just put your middle fingers up,
Follow your dreams and never stop.
We're the best there ever was, and ever will.
You know it's true.
So bring it back and let me hear you say,

I've got a short fuse,
So don't you p-p-push it, man. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
Don't fuck with me,
You better back off while you can. (Ooh, you know, yeah)
I've got you right where I want you.
And this is how it ends,
It ends with me on top,
You down there at the bottom.
Don't fuck with us.
Don't fuck with us!

I've got a short fuse,
So don't you p-p-push it, man. (Push it, man).
Don't fuck with me,
You better back off while you can. (While you can).
I've got you right where I want you.
And this is how it ends,
It ends with me on top,
You down there at the bottom.
Don't fuck with us.
We're the best there ever was!"

"That was sick," I hear someone say and we all turn to see Alan, holding a phone. "Alan, why do you have a phone," I ask, slowly.

"I recorded your whole show. Both songs."


"Yeah. Good night now. But that was amazing."

We all just gape at his parting silhouette. Jesse's the one to break the silence, "Well, I guess we're done practicing," and I nod. And they all put away the instruments where they belong. "Well, it was fun while it lasted," Justin said. "Yeah. Good night, guys," Gabe says, hugging me goodnight. They all hug me good night and I walk upstairs.

I see Gabe and Jack walk into a bedroom together and Justin and Jesse into separate rooms. They really should get themselves a partner. I frown a bit at that. But I shake my head and walk into my bedroom. Vic and Cope are where I left them and I smile.

I walk to the bed and walk to the other side of Cope so we're surrounding her. I place a kiss on her forehead and get into bed. I smile at Cope in Vic's arms before snuggling deeper into the bed and going to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Fourteen:


When I wake up the next morning, I groan a bit. I did have a few nightmares and I didn't have anyone to chase them away. So I had a terrible night. I reach for my phone and turn it on. As soon as it's on, I see I had 56 messages and 23 missed calls all from Austin.

"Alan, where are you?"

"Answer me!"

"Tell me where you are!"

Those were some of the messages and what they consisted of. I was going to check the voice mails now. "Alan, where are you?"

"ALAN! You better tell me where you are!"

"Alan, please, I miss you."

"I will ask Phil and Tino, Alan."

The second one was angry. And that kind of scared me. Austin rarely got angry, and this time, he sounded furious. I fumble with my phone a bit before I press call and bring the phone to my ear. It rings twice before he answers.


"Hi, dad."



The next morning, I wake with Vic's arms around me. I sit immediately and see Cope was in her crib. I could have swore I left her in bed with us. I feel Vic shuffle around in bed and the arm he has around me begins to tighten. "Go back to sleep," he says. "And in case you're wondering, I put Cope in her crib, so I could hold you."

"Ok. That's what I was wondering."

"Yeah, now go back to sleep." I nod and turn to face him so my face is buried in his chest. He tightens his arms around me and digs his face into my neck. I shiver a bit, but lean up to dig my face into his neck. Inhaling his scent, I close my eyes and go back to peaceful slumber.


The next time I wake up, I look up and see Jesse, Jack, Gabe, Justin, Alan, Tony, Mike, and Jaime looking down at Vic and I. I let out a scream and sit up, scooting to the headboard. Vic sits up immediately after hearing me scream. "What is it?! What's wrong?" Then he notices the others and begins glaring at them all.

"What are you guys doing here," he growls. They all give each other knowing looks and then turn to smirk at us. I was confused until they all held up their phones. My face paled immensely and Vic's glare intensified. They all snickered, though.

Jesse showed me one of the pictures he took and I blush at what I see. Vic had his face dug into my neck while I was pressed against his chest with his arms around me. Then he slides to the next picture and that one was of me with my arms and legs around Vic. I swear I could have died of embarrassment right then and there.

The guys kept showing us the pictures until I swear my face would remain permanently red forever. And Vic apparently had enough because he yelled at everybody to get out. When they left is when I finally got out of bed. "I am so embarrassed," I mumble.

I look to Vic and he seemed to be smiling. "I should be the one embarrassed. I'm suppose to be the tough and badass gang leader, but yet, there I was being gentle with you. They'd expect that from you because you're like a cute little kitten," and my face flushes at that. He chuckles before dropping his pants and I squeal, turning away quickly.

He laughs harder, but he tells me when I can look. When I do, I ask him if he can look away. I drop the pants and put on a fresh pair before removing the long-sleeve and replacing it with a t-shirt. I guess it was time for a change. Plus, the tee was baggy so it didn't hug my body. "You can look now."

And he does, but I was already on my way to get Cope. I pick up my daughter's sleeping body. We walk downstairs after finishing up in our room and greet the others this morning.



Where could he be? He's been gone for weeks. I run a hand through my hair violently. I was currently pacing my office, pulling and tugging at my hair. I can't believe he just left like that, does he really want a kid that much? The whole room was a mess, clothes everywhere, glass shattered.

"Hey, Austin, can I - " I hear Phil ask as he walks in. When he sees the room, he stops talking. He opens his mouth, then closes it again before speaking, "You know what? I'll come back later," and turns to walk out, but I stop him.

"No, it's fine. What do you need?"

"Um, I was just going to ask if you've heard from Alan, but judging from the state of your room, you haven't." I growl a bit, and he raises his hands in his defense. "Hey, I was just asking. It's not like it's my fault he left." I growl at him.

"Come on, Austin, I know something happened between the two of you. He just didn't tell me what." Then I perk up. Alan had talked to him before he left, or has talked to him since he left. "You talk to Alan?"

He pales, and for Phil, it's noticable. "No," he says, to quickly. He's lying. He's talked to Alan. "You know where he is!"


"Tell me where he is!"

"I can't! He told me not to!" I grip his arm tight and he winces. He knows where my husband is and he won't tell me where he is. My grip tightens and he round house kicks me. Stunned, I bring my hand to face and watch as he runs away. I begin running after him.

He runs down the street to his house and his boyfriend was sitting in a lounge chair on their patio. "Tino, get inside the house," Phil screams after his boyfriend. Tino runs inside and holds the door open for Phil before they slam it shut.

I begin pounding on the door, screaming at them to let me in. "Go away, Austin!" I hear them both yell from the other side of the door. I growl and my pounding hardens on the door. But they wouldn't let me in.

I feel hopelessness settle into my system and I stop hitting the door. I let my head lean against the door and I speak again, "Please... please tell me where he is."

I felt as though I had just given up, but what would be the point of me continuing if Alan doesn't even want me. As I begin to pull my head back, I hear the door opening. I take a step back and see Phil standing there, a sympathetic expression on his face.

"Okay, I won't tell you where he is because I promised I wouldn't, but I will give you a hint." I nod enthusiastically.

"Thanks, Phil."

"Ok. This is the only hint I'm giving you." I nod. "Okay. He's not in the country." Then he closes the door and I stand there dumbfounded before I begin walking home.



I was currently out with Cope. It's been a month since Vic tried to rape me and I've started wearing tank tops again, but I still wear sweat pants. Cope is now three months old.

I can be touched, but I hate surprise attacks on me like when Vic comes up behind me or when he appears out of nowhere. But he knows and he's stopped doing it.

Jesse and them left a week ago, but Alan is still here. He hasn't seen or talked to Austin in a whole month. I wonder how Austin was holding up because Alan is a mess.

He looks like he doesn't sleep well and his eyes are always swollen and red-rimmed and I know he's been crying over it. But what Austin did really hurt him and he has yet to forgive him. I know Austin's tried to call him and he just ignores the phone. Then when Austin keeps calling, he turns it off.

Cope was currently looking at everything and anything. She looked so entranced, it was adorable. I walked her all around the border of HQ and she looked at the woods surrounding us. And that's when I hear it. Someone groaning. I take my phone out and text Vic to come to the border beside the the garage.

I tentatively walk to the fence and look out and see someone's silhouette. I jump back, gasping. But then I hear them speak, " H-Help," they say. I begin climbing the fence, making sure Cope is okay.

When my feet touch the ground, I begin walking to where the noise came from. "H-Hello," I call.

"Help," is the weak reply. I begin walking towards the noise, but I was hoping Vic would hurry here. I look down at Cope, but she was calm, just mesmerized by her surroundings. Good.

"Kellin!" Vic.

"Over here," and then he appears. "Vic, I heard someone calling for help." He nods and we begin walking towards the noise. Vic was tense and behind me, but I knew that if someone were to attack, he'd step forward.

But then he stops and when I look at what he was looking at, I gasp. There laid two boys, one younger than the other. The oldest was the wounded one. The youngest was sitting over him, crying. I quickly hand Cope to Vic and walk to the boys. "Kellin, wait," but I ignore him.

I get down on my knees and sit beside the oldest. The little one begins glaring and I smile at him. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I want to help," I say, soothingly. He nods and I begin to inspect the boy. He was beat up bad and looking at the youngest, he was too.

"I need to get you guys to shelter. Would you let my husband carry the boy to our house. You need to come also." He looked scared.

"Will you help him," he asks, and I was surprised. I didn't think he'd talk to me. But I answer his question. "Of course," I say. And he nods.

"Vic, pick up the boy. I'll take Cope." He nods and picks up the boy, bridal style. I hold Cope in arm and outstretch my other to the boy. He takes it cautiously, but I smile soothingly. We begin walking to HQ, and along the way I talk to him.

"So, what's your name, sweetie," I ask him. He looks shocked, but answers me. "Rowan."

"And who is that boy to you?"

"My brother."

"What's his name?"

"Liam. Who are you?"

"I'm Kellin. This is my daughter, Copeland - Cope for short. And the man holding your brother is my - I guess you could say - husband - Vic."

"She's so cute, can I hold her?"

"Of course," I say, moving his arms to the position they should be in and place her in them. Rowan smiles up at me then down at her. "Um, I'd hate to be rude, but who's the mom?"

I sigh, "To be honest, Cope doesn't have a single drop of Vic's or my blood in her. We don't know who the dad is. But I did meet her mom, but I only got her name before she died. She had died right after giving birth. And I took Cope in and both Vic and I raise her as our own. But we do plan on telling her when she's older who her mom is."

"And what's the mom's name?"

"Katelynne." And he stops walking altogether, gasping. I begin to worry. "Rowan, honey, what's wrong?"

"She - That - Katelynne is my mom's name. The last I saw her she was pregnant, but she escaped and promised she'd send help for us. She never did."

"Rowan, what did your mother look like?"

"She had black hair - long - bangs, she was white, brown eyes, sharp features. Last thing she was wearing was a white gown," and I gasp at him. His description fit Katelynne.

"Rowan, meet your baby sister, Copeland," I tell him. Tears build up in his eyes, realizing what that meant.  "My mom - she's dead," he says and I nod sadly.

"I'm so sorry, Rowan."

"It's - It's okay. Thank you for saving my sister, I guess."

"It was no problem, Rowan. Now, come on, we're here. Vic will call the gang doctor and your brother will fine. Vic and I'll give you a place to stay. Would you like to share a room with him or be in separate rooms," I ask him as we walk inside the house.

"Wait - you-you're in a gang," he asks, in a suddenly scared voice.

"Oh, don't be afraid. Vic is the leader of the gang and he'll make sure no one ever hurts you." He nods, but I could tell he was still afraid.

"Good. Now, rooms?"

"I'd like to share a room with Liam. Please."

"Ok. That can be arranged. Now, you can pick any room you want. Vic and I will be in the living room with Liam, waiting for the doctor."

Rowan hands me Cope and walks off to find a room. I smile at his silhouette before walking to Vic as he places Liam on the couch. Cope begins reaching to Vic and I laugh, handing her to him. He smiles as he takes her and I sit down beside Liam's head, placing it on my lap.

I wonder what happened to you. You and your brother. I run my hand through his hair and he squirms a bit. "Vic, did you call the gang doctor yet?"

"I'm doing it now," he tells me. Then I hear start talking in Spanish on the phone. I bring my attention back to Liam. You're so young, why are badly beaten?

Then I hear someone descending from the stairs and Alan barges in with an upset Rowan trailing behind him. "Kellin! Vic! There's a little boy in the house," he yells. Looking at Rowan, he looks like he's about to start crying. "I'm not weird." I was about to say something, but Vic beat me to it.

"Alan, Rowan here is our guest. He and his brother will be staying with us for as long as they need," he says, walking up behind Rowan and placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. And Rowan sends him a small smile.

"Oh. But why was he roaming the halls?"

"He was picking a room for he and his brother." He nods and walks to Rowan. Rowan looked kind of scared. "Sorry for calling you weird. So to make it up to you, I can show you the best rooms in the house for you to choose from."

Rowan looked at me for guidance and I smile at him. "Go ahead," I say and he nods, taking Alan's hand. Then the doorbell rings and Vic walks to open it. He walks in with the doctor trailing after him and I'm pretty Vic is explaining what happened, but he was speaking in Spanish, so I don't know.

The doctor walks over to Liam and begins inspecting him and as he bends the knee, Liam wakes up. "Whaa-Where am I," he says, freaking out and sitting up only to wince in pain.

"Liam, calm down. We're not going to hurt you. We're here to help."

"Where's my brother? Where's Rowan? And who are you?"

"Your brother is with a good friend of mine and they're picking out a room for both of you to sleep in. Do you want me to go get them?" He nods. "Also, I'm Kellin." Then I get up and begin walking to the stairs.

When I find Rowan and Alan, Rowan runs down the hall to see his brother. Alan and I following behind. When we do reach the living room, Rowan was hugging Liam and Vic was speaking to the doctor. Then the doctor leaves.

"So what happened," I ask.

"He said Liam should be fine, just a bit of bruising." I nod and walk to the two boys. "Rowan? Where are we?"

"We're at Kellin's house. He's the one who found us and he's offered to take us in." And Rowan so happy about it, but Liam not so much. "Oh, yeah? What's the catch? You want us to have sex with you? Pleasure you?"

"What? No, of course not. What kind of sicko would do that to a couple of young boys? We don't want anything in return, we just want you to get better. Plus, I'm a virgin. I wouldn't force you to do something I'm not even willing to do myself."

"I wish I were a virgin," Rowan mumbles. And that confuses me. "You're not a virgin? But... how old are you?"


"Both of us aren't virgins, we were raped by the old gang that had us," Liam snaps.

"That's horrible. We would never do that," Alan says.

"Kellin, how old are you," Liam asks.

"22." He raises an eye-brow.

"What? You're 22 and you're a virgin?"

I begin blushing, "Why does everyone ask that? Is it really that surprising that a twenty-two year old is a virgin?" They all say yes and I begin pouting. "Forget you all," I mumble and the boys laugh and that brought a smile to my face.

"Wait - how are you a virgin if you're with Vic?"

"Because I'm not ready to have sex."

"I wish we had that choice." And I frown, who did that to them? And why? But they ignore it and begin making fun of me again. I roll my eyes, though. "Whatever. I'm leaving now. I have to clean," I say, getting up.

"I have a gang meeting," Vic says.

"I'll help," Alan says. I nod and Vic hands me Cope. Before he leaves, I peck his cheek and he pecks mine before walking out the door. I place Cope in her space-saver, strapping her in.

"If you want, we can help," Liam says. I send them a grateful look. "You don't have to."

"We want to."

"Ok, but there's not much to do, but can one of you start sweeping the kitchen and the other start dusting?" They nod and Liam goes into the kitchen. Rowan walks to me and I hand him the broom.

Next thing I know, music is blasting all over the house and Alan is doing some dance, that or he's having a seizure. I hear the boys laughing at him, although it was hard to catch since the music is loud.

I begin vacuuming and we all begin cleaning the house. Alan offered to clean the bathroom in the hall. I had given Cope a bottle to drink while we clean.

Next thing I know, two hours had passed cleaning and I squeal at the song that comes on. I was currently mopping. The sexy beat was blowing the speakers and I felt my body move to the beat. I was snapping to the song. And then I start belting out the lyrics and Alan - bless him - lowers the volume so you could hear my voice, but also Adam Lambert's voice.

"So hot
Out the box
Can you pick up the pace?
Turn it up,
Heat it up
I need to be entertained
Push the limit
Are you with it?
Baby, don't be afraid
I'm a hurt 'ya real good, baby."

I see Alan laughing as I'm moving my body to the song, probably because I can't dance. I laugh a bit, but ignore him. But he was laughing really hard.

"Let's go
It's my show
Baby, do what I say
Don't trip off the glitz
That I'm gonna display
I told ya
I'm a hold ya down until you're amazed
Give it to ya 'til you're screaming my name."

I was seriously dancing way too provocative for my liking, but it was so fun. Then the boys walk in as I'm dancing and mopping at the same time. I think I even heard one of them mumble, "Oh, God, he's like an embarrassing dad. But at least he can sing."

"No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way you'll ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over

Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment

Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya thought an angel swept you off ya feet
But I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment."

I made sure to point at all of them and make a seductive face at each of them. And that makes them laugh harder.

"It's alright
You'll be fine
Baby, I'm in control
Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes
Not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm a work it 'til you're totally blown

No escaping when I start
Once I'm in I own your heart
There's no way you'll ring the alarm
So hold on until it's over."

And they just stared at me, smiling and laughing. I stuck my tongue out at them when I got the chance. And they did it back. Well, Alan stuck up his middle finger, but whatever.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment

Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
'Ya thought an angel swept ya off your feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat
I'm here for your entertainment."

I knew this was when the harder parts came on.

"Oh oh...
Oh oh...
Oh oh... Oh entertainment...
I'm here for your entertainment...."

"There's no way, he can hit that high note," Rowan says. I smirk and continue singing, about to prove him wrong.

Do you like what you see?
Let me entertain 'ya till you screeaaam."

When I look at them, they both had their mouths ajar. I smile and wink.

"Oh, do you know what you got into?
Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do?
'Cause it's about to get rough for you
I'm here for your entertainment

Oh, I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet (bet ya thought)
'Ya thought an angel swept ya off your feet
Well I'm about to turn up the heat (turn up the heat)
I'm here for your entertainment."

By the time, I was done, the boys were shocked and I was about to remark something when a voice beats me to it. "Well, I must say I was entertained and I would love for the words you sang to come true."

I whirl around to see Vic smirking at me and holding a phone. I begin blushing, "How long were you there?"

"Since the song started." My cheeks darken. I hear Alan laughing harder than ever behind me. And the boys were snickering. "I have never been so embarrassed," I mumble. Then louder, "Who'd you send it to?"

"Everyone you know," next thing I know, the phone in my back pocket is vibrating and I see Jesse's, Justin's, Jack's, and Gabe's messages, along with Austin, Alex, Jack, Mike, Tony, Jaime, and Vic's parents. I pale immensely. This is so embarrassing. "I'm going to my room," I mumble blushing.

I begin looking at the messages the guys sent starting with Jesse's message, "Nice dancing, Kellin. ;)." Let the blushing crimson begin.

"I was entertained." Justin.

"Awww, that was so cute and funny." Gabe.

"There are just some things you just can't unsee." Jack.

"Ooh. Getting your groove on, huh, Kellin? ;)))" Alex.

"Nice! Should have had less clothing." Jack B.

"Uhh, what did I just see?" Austin.

"Hahahahahahahaha." Mike.

"Right... what drugs are you on, Kellin?" Tony.

"Hahahahaha. Nice!" Jaime.

"Kellin, sweetie, were you dancing for Vic?" Vivian, Vic's mom.

By the time, I read the last message, I was blushing full on crimson. Vivian's message being the most embarrassing. I can't imagine dancing like that for Vic. That'd be so embarrassing.

I look up when I hear someone open the door. Vic appears beside me and he was smiling. "What were some of the messages?"

"See for yourself," I say, handing him the phone. He begins reading them and laughs at some of them and glares at others. "It's okay, it was cute," and I blush.

But before I could reply, Alan sticks his head into the room, "Hey, I'm taking tgw boys out with me. Cope is in her space-saver."

I nod, "Thanks, Alan." And then he's gone. Vic smiles and gets behind me. He puts his legs at my sides and pulls me to his chest.

I hum in content, "This is nice," I tell him. He lets out a small laugh, "It is," he agrees. Then he stays silent before he places a hand under my chin and turns my head to face him. He places his lips on mine.

I begin kissing back. He traces his tongue over my bottom lip, but before I could give him entry, he pulls back and places his forehead on mine. His eyes bore into mine and he smiles. "Kellin, I - " but then the doorbell rings.

I pull back and begin walking out the room and down the stairs. And then I reach the front door. And when I open the door, I gasp at who it is.


Chapter Text

"Austin," I begin, "what are you doing here?"

"It's Alan, I don't know where else to look. He's gone." I was about to respond when I see Alan coming up behind Austin and I immediately pull Austin into a hug, making sure to pull his head down.

"Oh, Austin. It's okay. I'm sure he'll come around," then I begin moving my hands in a go away motion towards Alan. "Go away," I mouth. He nods and pulls the boys with him. I sigh in relief.

"Why don't you come in," I say, pulling back. He nods and walks inside to the living room. "You wait here, I'll be right back."

And when I'm out of his view, I sprint to the room. "Vic," I whisper when I walk inside. "Kellin," then I shush him when he speaks way too loudly for my liking. "Who was it," he whispers.


"Here for Alan?" I nod.

"Don't tell him Alan is here. I'm going to go look for him. You keep him company. Come up with an excuse as to where I am." He groans, but my mind was already set. I kiss his cheek and walk out the door and go out the back door.

"Alan," I whisper-yell. Nothing. "Alan?"

"Kellin," I hear someone whisper back.

"Alan," I say and begin to walk to where I heard his voice. Then he appears. "What do we do," he asks, frantically.

"I don't know," I whisper back just as frantically.

"How did he find me?"

"He didn't. He just needs a shoulder to cry on. But he doesn't know you're here."

"Ok. Now where will I hide?"

"I know a place outside of HQ. I'll ask Tony for the keys."

"Ok. Thank you so much."

"No problem, Alan. What are friends for?" He smiles and hugs me. I hug him back. And we stayed hugging until we heard someone clear their throat. We pull back and see the boys crossing their arms.

"Who are you guys talking about?" Liam.

"My husband," Alan.

"Boys, go inside. And if Austin asked, Alan was never here. If Vic asks, I went to Jaime's place for more eggs. You don't know Jaime, but Vic does. He should know I'm helping Alan. Ok?"

They nod and I smile at them before beginning to pull Alan to Tony's house. I knock frantically at the door and Mike opens up. "Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike," I say, hurridley. "Is Tony here?"

"Yeah, he's right - " I didn't let him finish because I'm pulling Alan inside and we find Tony cooking in the kitchen. "Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony," I say hurridley again. "I need the keys to the house outside of HQ?"

"Ok. Come with me," he says, washing his hands and drying them before leading us upstairs. He walks us into his bedroom and pulls out a key from a drawer. "Here, but can I ask why?" But I didn't answer.

"Great. Thank you," I say as I take the key and run out the door with Alan. I pull Alan to the fence and stop. "Can you climb?"

"Who can't?" And he proves his point by beginning to climb the fence and I smile before following his example. We jump down and begin running again until I see the cabin.

I open the door and let Alan in. "Okay. You'll be staying here until Austin leaves or until you want to talk to him. I'll bring your clothes around here."

He nods, "Alright. See you later."

"Bye, Alan," then I hug him before walking out the door back to HQ. I climb the fence and walk back home.



It was so awkward as we waited for Kellin to return. The boys had already told us that Kellin had gone to get eggs even though we have two dozen eggs. The boys had gone upstairs to hang out. Which they should since I had out a tv in their room.

"Who are those boys?"

"Oh. Their names are Liam - the eldest - and Rowan. Kellin found them outside of HQ and he told me to bring them in."



Then it was awkward silence again.

"You know you're not as welcoming as Kellin," Austin tells me. I have to laugh.  "Yeah, I know."

"You're too intimidating. Kellin is your total opposite."

"Yeah, I know. I get reminded of that everytime I see him being gentle with everybody."

He nods and it was an awkward silence again. Jesus, when is Kellin getting home? And then as if Jesus had heard my prayers, Kellin walked in. "Hey, guys," he says, sporting one of the most faked smiles I've ever seen.

"Hey, Kellin. Where are the eggs?"

"Oh, uh, um, he didn't have any. Yeah, he didn't have any." He finishes it with another fake smile and a fake laugh. Oh, Kellin. Well, better go save him. I walk over to him and place a kiss on his cheek. "How about you go check if the boys are hungry?"

"Oh. You're right. I'll be right back. Vic, can you go check on Cope?"

I nod. "Hey, Austin, come meet the boys officially," Kellin says, taking Austin's hand and going upstairs.



"Boys," I call as I open their bedroom door. When I enter, I see them watching tv. I think it was Law and Order or something like that. "What," they ask.

"Are you hungry?"

"Uh, not really. Maybe a small snack," Rowan asks, timidly. I smile, encouragingly. "Of course. I'll bake some cookies. Is that fine?"

"Yeah, that's great," Liam says.

"Ok. I'll bring them up when they're done. By the way, this is my friend, Austin. He's looking for his husband, Alan, who is also my friend. Austin, say hi."

"Hey, guys."

"Hi," Liam.

"You're really tall," Rowan. I slap my hand against my forehead, but Austin just laughs at Rowan's observation. "Yeah, I know. I'm like six feet tall."

"You're like a giant compared to Kellin." And I laugh at that because it's true. I smile at Austin and wave at the boys. "Alright, cookies, coming up." Then I walk out of the room.

I walk down the stairs and I see Vic holding Cope on his hip, a pacifier in her tiny mouth. "Hey. I just changed her diaper."

"Thanks," I say. "I'm about to make cookies for the boys."

"I'll help. Austin, watch Cope for me," Vic asks, not really letting Austin answer because he hands him Cope who Austin takes happily. "Hi, Cope," he says in a baby voice.

I smile and walk into the kitchen. When I don't hear Austin talking anymore, I turn to Vic, "Later tonight, I'm going to take Alan his stuff, hopefully Austin doesn't notice."

"I'll go with you," he says and I bite my lip before nodding. "Alright, now let's begin on the cookies." And I take out the flour, eggs, milk, chocolate chips and everything else I'll need to bake the cookies.

Vic had helped me by mixing while I turned on the oven and got the pan for said cookies. He helped me mold them into shape and putting them on the pan.

We let them cook until the timer went off and I pull them out after I put on an oven mit. I place them on a plate and I begin walking upstairs. I knock on the door before entering their room.

"The cookies are done, I hope you like chocolate chip. Careful, though, they're hot. Please don't make a mess. Milk is downstairs. Just call me if you need anything. I'll be with Cope, Vic, and Austin in the living room."

"Okay, Kellin. Thanks, by the way, for the cookies." I smile warmly.

"It's no problem. Don't be afraid to ask for anything. Vic will also give you what you want. Feel free to raid the kitchen. It's no big deal. Just don't go crazy."

They nod and smile at me and I close the door. I walk downstairs and into the living room where Vic and Austin were playing with Cope.

I take my seat beside Vic. I ask for Cope and he hands her to me. "Hi, baby," I coo and she smiles. "I love you, baby girl," I say.


I was currently in Alan's old room, packing what little clothes he had in a bag about to take them to him. I had to be quiet, though. Everyone was sleeping except for Vic, he knew where I was going and he wanted to wait up for me.

I walk out the front door, making sure no one was following. I sigh in relief when I don't see anyone. I walk towards the edge of HQ and begin climbing the fence. I throw Alan's things - that I put in a bag - down then I jumped down.

I kept walking until I reach the small cottage and I knock on the door. "Who is it," Alan calls from the other side.


Then I hear locks coming undone and Alan opens up. "Hey," he breathes.

"Hi. I got your clothes," I say, stepping inside the house. I place his stuff on the bed.

"Thanks, Kellin. You don't know what this means to me."

"It's no problem, Alan."

"So, where's Vic? He doesn't usually let you walk around alone. That's like a big no-no in his book." And I blush a bit at that, but ignore it.

"He's back home, waiting for me to return."

"Ah. Well, thanks for this."

"Good night, Alan."

"Night, Kellin. Tell the boys and Vic good night for me. And give Cope a kiss for me."

"Of course."

I walk out of the cottage and begin walking towards the fence. When I reach it, I climb over and begin walking towards the house. I see a few people out and about while most are probably inside sleeping.

When I reach the house, I walk inside and begin walking towards the boys bedroom and see them sleeping in the same bed. Hmmm, that's peculiar. They have their own beds. But I decide to ignore it. Maybe they like sleeping together.

I sit on the edge of the bed and look at them. They looked so at peace unlike when I found them. They looked like the innocent boys they were supposed to be, not boys that were violated. I lean up and place a kiss on both their foreheads. "Goodnight, boys." Then I walk out of their room.

I walk to my room and Vic immediately pulls me close to him. "Thank God you're back. I was about to go out there and look for you." And I laugh a bit. "It's fine. Now can we please go to bed?"

"Yeah, just change." I nod and pull out the shirt. And when I turn to face Vic, he had already turned the other way away from me. I had to smile, he really did care enough that he respects my wishes. I change quickly and begin putting away my clothes when someone comes up behind me and lifts me up bridal style.

He spins us around and begins walking towards the bed. I squeal and begin giggling when Vic throws me on the bed. He was laughing too when he was hovering over me, his breathy laughter fanning my face. I lean up and peck his lips, smiling.

"I love you, Kellin." And I sigh before looking into his eyes. "I know," I whisper. He rolls off me and pulls me to his chest so he's spooning me. "Goodnight, Vic."


And the next day, I went to visit Alan and that became a routine. I would visit Alan and whoever didn't accompany me would cover for me. Let's say Vic stayed, he'd keep Austin company and if the boys stayed, they'd keep Austin company. But Cope always came with me.

It had been months since Austin came and I was about to go visit Alan. I was walking down the stairs with Cope in my arms when Austin calls my name from up the stairs. When I turn around, I see he's walking towards me. "Hey, Kellin. Where are you going?"

"Oh, uh, um, I'm going to visit Mike and Tony."

"Can I come?" Shit, shit, shit. Think of something Kellin. Think!

"Well, you see, they told me they needed to tell me something in private, so if you were to come, I wouldn't want you to feel excluded."

"Oh... ok," and man, it hurts to lie to him. I send him an apologetic smile before descending down the stairs and out the door. I begin walking to the fence and use the door this time. I walk deeper and deeper into the woods until I find the cottage and walk in.

"Hey, Alan," I call.

"Kellin? In the kitchen!"

I place Cope on the floor to crawl, but give her her pacifier to chew on since she started teething. I walk into the kitchen and see Alan cooking on the stove. "Hey, Kellin," he says as he stops what he's doing. "And Cope?"


"Hmm. You should be glad I baby-proofed everything." And I chuckle at that.

"I already knew you did it. I helped, remember?"

"Shup up," he grumbles, knowing full well I'm right.

"Do you need help with anything?"

"Actually yes, can you begin peeling the carrots and cutting them?"

"Yeah," I say, as I wash my hands and grab the knife. "What are you making,"I ask as I begin peeling a carrot.

"Stew." And then we begin working in silence. By the time I was on my last carrot, I hear Cope begin to cry and I drop the knife in the sink before running out of the kitchen to find my baby.

I find her near the bed and she was covered in a blanket and I realized she was probably trying to climb the bed and fell. "Oh, baby, it's okay," I say, bouncing her to calm her down and rub her head. "It's okay, baby." And her crying seizes to whimpers and I begin humming Let Love Bleed Red. And she stops.

I look at Alan, apologizing with my eyes. "It's fine, you go home and take care of your daughter."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. It's fine. Plus, I'm almost done cooking, so I won't be needing assistance anymore. Go make sure Cope is okay."

"Alright," I say, reluctantly. "I'll come visit tomorrow." I grab Cope's bag and walk out of the cottage. "Bye, Alan," I call over my shoulder.

"Bye, Kellin!"



After Kellin had left with Cope, I walk back into the kitchen and finish cutting up the last carrot Kellin left on. Then I throw it into the stew and I grab the wooden spoon, beginning to stir the soup when I hear the front door opening and I laugh.

"What did you forget this time, Kellin," I ask, teasingly since there were a few times he did forget something. No reply. I turn away from the stew and gasp at who I see.


I stood there, shocked. How did he find me? He begins walking closer to me and I begin walking away from the stew and away from him. He stops at the stew and turns the stove off. I was too shocked to ask why he did it.

Then he brings his attention back to me and begins walking closer. "L-Look, Austin, I know what you're going to say. How could I leave you? Why didn't I return your calls? But I was mad and heartbroken that you would think that. And-And please stay back," I say as my back - unfortunately - hits the wall. I look for an escape route, but find none.

I lower my gaze and a few tears escape. He brings his hand to my chin and tilts my head up. I look up at him with wide eyes. But he just leans down and places his lips on mine.

He pulls back and pulls me into a hug. "I've missed you," he says, sniffing my neck. I just stay silent. "I missed your hair," he says, sniffing my hair. "I've missed your lips," he says, pecking them.

"I missed your eyes," he says, pulling back to meet them.

"I missed your laugh," he says and I blush. "I missed the pink tint to your cheeks."

"I missed your body," he says, huskily, running his hands over my waist and hips before bringing them to my butt and cupping it making me squeal. I pull away immediately and move under his arm away from the wall. "Look, I missed you too, Austin, but we can't just go back to where we left off. You really h-hurt m-me," I say, beginning to stutter as he comes closer and closer to me.

I begin walking to the small bedroom and almost slam the door shut when Austin stops it. And him being stronger than me, he opened it and I moved back. He closes the door behind him and begins advancing towards me and I step back. But then the back of my legs hits the edge of the bed.

I look up at Austin and before I could fight back, his lips were on mine again. I begin struggling against him and I finally push him away. "No, Austin. You can't just do that. You don't get to do that."

"Why the hell not? I'm your husband, I saved you, I own you," and I mask the hurt I feel when he says he owns me. I scoff, "You don't own me. And you being my husband doesn't change tbe fact that I am mad at you and that you - my husband - hurt me and made me cry. What happened to, 'Alan, for as long as I live, I swear that I will do everything in my power to never hurt you. To make sure you never have a reason to cry,' and all that bullshit," I snap.

"... You remember my wedding vows?"

"What? What does that have to do with anything?"

He doesn't answer and looks down at my hand and I move it behind me, but I knew he saw. "You're still wearing your wedding ring."

"So? Just because we're fighting doesn't mean we're not married." He grabs my left hand and brings it to his lips, placing a kiss over the ring, but his lips still touching skin. I blush a bit and when he pulls back, I move my hand away, glaring at him. "Alan," he sighs. "Save it. I have to finish cooking and you need to leave," I say, beginning to move past him. But his hand shoots out and he pulls me back.

I was about to begin yelling at him, but his mouth covers mine in a passionate kiss. He brings his hands to my face. I begin punching and slapping his chest, but he moves his hands to grab mine. I sigh into his mouth and feel my eyes fill with tears. And I knew it would only be so long before I give in.

And I was right. I begin kissing him back and when he realizes that I won't, he lets go of my wrists and brings his hands to my waist. I bring mine to his neck and use my arms to pull me higher and instead, he wraps my legs around his waist pushes me down on the bed.

He pulls back and moves his lips to my neck and begins sucking on my weak spot which he memorized the location of. I moan out loud at the sensation and I feel him smirk into my skin. He gives it one last bite before bringing his lips back to mine and he forces his tongue into my mouth. I groan this time.

And I pull back to rip the shirt off of him. He chuckles and takes my shirt off before attacking my nipple. I arch my back when he bites it. He works his way down until he reaches my jeans and he pulls back to unbotton them. He slides them down my legs and my dick is finally allowed to breathe.

He looks up at me and I nod. He smiles before he pulls my underwear down. He smiles up at me and I have to blush under his gaze. He hovers over me and smiles his award winning smile, "You're so beautiful," he says.

My blush darkens, "No, I'm not." And he frowns, "Yes, you are. You're gorgeous." And before I could disagree, he was kissing me again. I place my hands on his shoulders before moving them down his chest all the way to the waist band of his jeans.

I begin undoing his belt and then unbotton his jeans. I begin pulling them down. He pulls back and pulls his pants down along with his underwear exposing him. And I bite my lip in fear, three years of this and I am still nervous.

He leans down and kisses me again, placing his hands on either side of my head. He sits us up and places his hands on my waist. I place my hands on his neck and kiss back with just as much passion. He moves his hands down to my ass and when he sticks a finger in, I wince into the kiss. And he starts moving it in and out.

I begin moaning into the kiss and pull back and bite into Austin's shoulder. Then he sticks another one in and I gasp at being stretched out so much. He moves these two and scissors me and I groan. This felt wonderful. It's been forever since we've done this.

"I'm going to do one more, okay, Alan?"

I nod, trembling a bit. Just wait until you lose your virginity, Kellin. But he sticks the third one in and I feel tears forming. Austin moves my head so that he can kiss me and begins moving his fingers. And he does for a while until he pulls them out and aligns himself. I take a deep breath before he enters me.

By now, the tears are falling. "I'm sorry, Alan. I know it hurts," and he begins kissing my neck, my shoulder, my forehead, my lips and my tears to distract me. And I feel the pain easing away. "Okay. You can move," I say, breathlessly.

He nods and lays us down before he begins moving. I moan and he begins thrusting faster and harder. I moan and he bites my shoulder. "Au-Austin, go f-faster - FUCK!" But he obliges. And he begins faster and harder. Shit, this is amazing.

This goes on for and I knew I was close. "Austin, I'm so close."

"Me too, Alan," and then I'm squirting all over our stomachs and then he's cumming inside me and I groan at feeling him fill me up. Then he pulls out gently, but I wince all the same. A hint that I will be sore the next day. "We should take a bath," I say and he nods. "I'll go start it while you relax," and I nod at him.

He gets up setting me on the bed gently. And he walks to the door that I told him was the bathroom. Then I hear water running and he takes a while to return, so I'm guessing he waited for the tub to be full because then the water stops and he appears - not even ashamed that he's naked in front of me - and picks me up bridal style.

He walks us to the bathroom and he sets me in the tub full of warm water before he gets in behind me. I lean into his chest and he wraps his strong arms around me. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Alan. I want you to know that that was not my intention. I love you, Alan."

"I know, Austin. I forgive you. And I love you, too. I really love you. Which is why I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

"I talked to my dad."

"What?! Why would you do that?" And I wince at the yelling. "Answer me!"

"I needed someone to talk to. Someone who was there to witness your love for me. Kellin's only heard about it, my dad's actually witnessed everything we went through together."

"That doesn't justify why you talked to him."

"He told me to forgive you!"

"... What?"

"Exactly what I just said. He told me to forgive you and that we should talk about the kids like adults. That he does think we're ready to be parents, but that it was our choice. That we needed to agree to it together. And I called him crazy, that I could never forgive you for what you said. And he said that it was a spur of the moment thing - that you love me too much to hurt me intentionally."

And he's speechless. I try moving away, but wince at when it causes me pain. "Jesus," I mumble. "Alan, stop trying to move, it'll only hurt you and I don't want that." And I huff at him, but nod. "Good."

And he drops everything, like we just didn't talk about the one man Austin hates with a passion except those that he killed. I sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I mumble.

"Alan, something is obviously wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, now can you get me out of the tub so I can finish cooking?" And he sighs, but gets up and grabs a towel, wrapping it around his waist and grabs another one. He helps me stand before enfolding me in the towel and picking me up.

He sets me down on the bed and I try to stand. But wince at the pain and Austin noticed so, he helped me stand and he picked my clothes for me. He helps me put on the underwear - against my wishes - and I put on my long t-shirt. Which is actually his, but I took it as mine. and I didn't bother with pants.

He carries me to the kitchen and I turn on the stove, letting it heat up before continuing to cook. When I reach for two bowls to serve the stew in, I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist. "I love you," he says.

And I sigh, "I know, I love you, too."

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now?"

"Nothing's wrong, Austin." But the truth is, there is something wrong, when are we going to talk about the cause of the fight?



After I had left Alan's small cottage, Cope had fallen asleep, so when we got home, I greeted the boys with a peck on the cheeks. Which Rowan loved and Liam found annoying. Then I greeted Vic with a peck on the lips. "Good morning, have you guys eaten?"

"Uh, funny story, actually. We were waiting for you to come home so you could cook," Liam says.

"Why? Vic can cook also."

"Yeah, but my cooking is not as good as yours."

"Oh, please. It all tastes the same."

"No, it doesn't. Yours taste way better than Vic's. No offense." Rowan.

"None taken. You're right."

"Fine, whatever. Liam, strap Cope into her space-saver, will you," I ask, handing her to him. And he nods before walking into the living room. "Where's Austin?"

"Not sure, he left a little after you did, said he needed to clear his mind."


"Yeah, speaking of which, when are they leaving?"

"Vic," I scold. "They are having problems in their marriage and we will help them in whatever way we can. We are their friends."

"No, you're their friend. They don't like me."

My expression and stance softens. "That's not true. Alan likes you, and Austin is always joking with you. And Jesse accepts you as my partner. He even teases me about you. They all like you. Sure, it started happening when I got here, but that's because I made you show your true colors. Plus, Cope loves you. And the boys aren't afraid of you. And I like you."

"I like you, too, Kellin."

"Good, now start cooking."

"What? I thought you were going to cook."

"Nope. I'm going to prove to you that all cooking taste the same. If the boys think I cooked it, they'll think it tastes delicious, but then we'll tell them it was you. And they'll see there is no difference." Vic laughs, but nods.

"Good, I'm just going to stand here in case the boys walk in." And he does, and there were only a few close calls with the boys, but Vic got it done. And I help him serve the food. "Boys, time to eat!" And they come running down the stairs. And they dig in and I send Vic a small smile.

"Kellin, I think your skills went down. I mean it's good, just not up to your normal standards." And I gape at Liam. Really? Do they really taste a difference? "Actually, Kellin made me cook."


"He was trying to prove that all cooking tastes the same, but you guys proved him wrong." And they laugh, but continue to eat. And I sit down beside them.

The day wasn't that special. Nothing really happened. And Austin never really returned, he just sent a text saying he's spending the night with a friend. And I was a bit hesitant, but I can't control him. No, nothing important happened during the day. Now the night, that's a whole other story.

I had placed Cope down for bed. And I had just finished changing. And we were going to bed. I remember falling asleep in Vic's arms. And it was blissful. That is until Vic and I both sat up as soon as we heard screaming.

I hurridley get out of bed and grab Cope. And we run out of the room. Vic and I make our way to the boy's room. When I enter, I'm surprised to see them in separate beds. They usually sleep in the same bed. But I make my way to the screaming brother - Rowan. Vic goes to Liam who was crying silently.

"Rowan, Rowan, wake up, you're just dreaming," I say, shaking him. I finally got him to wake up and he sits up panting and begins crying. I set Cope between us and I hug him close. "It's okay. It's okay. It was only a dream."

"It-It w-wasn't. It was my past."

"Oh. It's all over now. You will never go back to that life." He nods and adjusts himself so he's over my heart. "You remind me of my mom, Kellin. She used to hold me like this when I had a nightmare. Will you be my new mom?"

"I-If that's what you want."


"Ok. I'll be your new mom. But I could never replace your real mom." And he nods. "Can Vic be my dad?"

"If he wants."

"Can you ask him?"


"Yeah," he asks from his position, hugging Liam. "Will you be Rowan's dad?"

"Of course."

"And my parents too?" Liam asks.

"Of course. I told you guys that you can ask for anything you want," I say, running a hand through Rowan's hair. I lay him down and continue running my hand through his hair. "Can you sing for me?"

"What song? Low or Let Love Bleed Red?"


"Alright. I'll start with Low.

Should I choose my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just replay the thoughts,
Of things I never said.
Should I use my heart or my head?
I wish that I could just turn back the time,
Start over again.
But if we're laying it on the line this time,
I better say this now.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try so hard to convince myself,
It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
Don't make me,
Don't make me,
Feel low.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

So tell me why did it take,
Twenty-six years,
to figure out how to love.
Just to throw it all away.
She said,
"Maybe if you'd been a little bit smarter,
Maybe if you tried hard enough,
I wouldn't question why I shouldn't stay."
But you expect me to come back around,
You better show me that you've changed.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
Don't make me,
Don't make me,

Don't make me walk out the door,
Don't you throw it away.
Don't make me,
Don't make me.
'Cause I'm leaving for good,
And I'm not coming back again.
(Back again, Back again.)
(I'm not coming back again!)

When I said it was over,
I meant it.
But now I can't let you go.
Still, I can't accept that.
You make me feel so,
You make me feel so,

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.

You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
'Cause I try to hard to convince myself, It's okay that I feel this way.
You make me feel low.
Don't make me feel low.
If I can't have you,
I'd be by myself 'cause you know I need you so.
You know I need you so."

"I-I like that one," Liam says and Rowan agrees. "Next one," Rowan mumbles, in a sleepy voice. And I nod.

"Is it naive to make plans,
That seem so far away?
There's a reason I feel this way,
You're sleeping alone,
(You're alone)
I'm awake
When you dream of me tonight, am I close to where you are?
(To where you are?)

Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
This could mean everything or nothing at all
You take what is real (all, all)
I'll give you my all

Is it naive to make plans that seem
So (so), so (so), so (so), far?
I think "let's not wait, let's love right now,
Let's love right now"

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Lay me down,
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright

Oh, here where we lie,
Outstretched to wonder why we don't belong
You deserve much more, and I'll give until I'm all gone
Forever know your face
And ever take your place here by my side,
Like a ghost into the night,
The poisoned apple to my bite,
I'll be the shadow at your door,
I'll be the moth into your light,
'Cause you deserve much more
Yeah, 'cause you deserve much more

Lay me down,
(Lay me down)
And tell me everything will be alright,
(Things will be alright)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Thunder storms could never shake us
Lay me down and kiss me like
(Lay me down and kiss me like)
Things will be alright
(Things will be alright)
Everything will be alright
(Things will be alright)
This could mean everything or nothing at all
You take what is real,
I'll give you my all

(The poisoned apple to my bite)
This could mean everything
(I'll be the shadow at your door)
Or nothing at all
(I'll be the moth into your light)
You take what is real
('Cause you deserve much more)
I'll give you my all."

By the time I was done, Rowan was asleep. I peck his forhead and walk over to Vic and Liam. I take a seat on the bed. "You okay, now?"


"Good. If you need us, don't be afraid to ask. Okay?"


"Goodnight, Liam."

"Goodnight." I smile and place a kiss to his forehead. I adjust Cope and Vic and I walk out. When we walk out of the room and into ours, I place Cope in her crib. And I see Vic in bed and when I stare at him, he stretches out his arms and I crawl into his arms.

I let out a shake sigh. "I hate whoever did that to them," I mumble.

"I know, I know. Same way I hate your uncle for what he did to you."

"It's not the same. They were raped, I wasn't."

"Kellin, it's still just as bad." I stay silent. "Let's just go to sleep," I say.

"Kellin," he sighs.

"Vic," I imitate.

"Kellin, I'm serious. What you went through is just as bad as what they went through. None of you deserved what happened to you."

"I know, Vic."

"Good," he pecks my forehead. "Now we can go to bed." And I nod, getting under the covers. I feel Vic lay an arm over my abdomen and I fall asleep.

Chapter Text

"Morning, mom."

That is the first thing I hear in the morning and I nearly dropped the plate of pancakes I was holding. I turn wide-eyed to stare at the person who called me mom, and it was Rowan. "Woah, are you okay," he asks.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine, you just caught me by surprise."

"Is it because I called you mom? I'm sorry, I can stop if you want."

"No, no, Rowan, it's fine. Like I said, you just caught me by surprise. You can call me 'mom.'" And the smile was worth it. Plus, there was nothing wrong with being called mom. It was cute he thought of me as one. "Where's dad?"

"Upstairs with your sister." And I sometimes forget that she really is his sister. They have the same mother. "Ok. Can I help with anything?"

"Actually, yeah. Could you set the table?"

"Yeah, how many plates?" Austin wasn't here and was still teething so she wouldn't be able to eat solid food yet, so four. "Four plates. And set Cope's chair, will you?" And he nods. I go back to making pancakes. And when they were all done, I set the whole stack in the center of the table.

"Could you get your brother and your father?" He scurries up the stairs. And not long after, I see Rowan appear holding one of Vic's hand, pulling him while he carries Cope in his other arm. He walks to me and places a kiss on my forehead, "You guys are turning me into a softy, I swear. And why did Rowan call me dad?"

"Last night, remember? He called me mom this morning, nearly gave me a heart attack." And he begins smirking, a teasing glint in his eye. But Liam came in after. "Morning, mom. Dad," he mumbles, sleepily.

"Morning, Liam," I telling him, pecking his forehead before walking back into the kitchen to grab the syrup. I set it on the table, taking my seat beside Vic and placing Cope in her high chair. I feed her some baby food and when I'm done feeding her, I turn to face the table, and see no one had started eating.

"We were waiting for you," Liam says and I feel my heart soar. That was the sweetest thing ever. I smile at them before grabbing a pancake from the stack and coating it in syrup. "You're going to get diabetes like that, Kellin."

"Calm down, Vicky. I won't." He sends me a playful glare for the name, but I just peck his cheek and his façade falls. Then I take a bite of my pancakes. And when I look around, so have the others. The pancakes were good.

We finish breakfast and I grab Cope. We walk into the living room and I place her on the ground. Then I sit on the couch beside Vic. She starts crawling and Liam and Rowan begin playing with her. She was giggling and babbling about who knows what, but it made me smile.

Rowan had her in his arms, but she saw me and started getting fussy so he let her down and she began crawling towards me. When she reached me, she couldn't stand yet, so I picked her up. She placed her tiny hands on my cheeks and I laugh, but then she does something that surprises me, "Ma-Mama," she spoke. The boys looked happy, and Vic was surprised. "Her first word," he tells me. And I nod, tears building up in my eyes.

"Mama," she said again and the tears fall. Oh, my God, this is the greatest day of my life. "Yes, baby. I'm your mama."

"Mama," she coos, patting my cheek. And I nod. Then I place her on the ground to give me time to get over my happiness and she crawls to Vic. He smiles as he picks her up. She pets his nose and he laughs, removing her hand. "Hi, Cope," he coos. Just then, the boys sit beside us.

"Dada," and I freeze. Her second word. Vic looked just as shocked. I feel my heart flutter hearing my baby speak. Sure, she made noises, but these are her first actual words. I've never been happier. I quickly text everyone of this event.

"Oh, my God, congrats. Send me a video" Jesse.

"No way, sick man. Congrats!" Justin.

"Awww, I'm so happy for you." Gabe.

"Did you cry?" Jack.

"Awww, my baby!! You cried, didn't you?" Alan.

"Congrats, man." Austin. Speaking of Austin, where is he? But it leaves my mind and I turn on the camera, aiming it at Cope. "Cope, baby, say 'Mama'." She stayed silent. "Come on, please, Cope?" And she stayed silent and I was about to give up, but she did it, " Mamamama," and I smile. "Good, now say, Dada."

"Dada." And I smile, send the video to Jesse before putting the phone on the table. Vic places Cope onto the ground and pulls me into his lap, my head over his heart. We watch the kids play and I realize, no wonder Alan wants kids, they are wonderful. I had started out with a daughter, and now I have two other sons.




I wake up naked, sweaty, and sore. Jesus, why did I agree to all those ten rounds? I sit up, wincing and turn to look at Austin. I felt shame wash over me. I let him take me knowing that was his way of getting me to forgive him. He basically used me and God, does it hurt.

I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. I fill the tub up and step in before sitting in the warm water. I feel my body relaxing. I love baths, Austin knows that. He always made me baths when he had time and I always cooked for him. And on our honeymoon, he had rented a room with a big tub and made this whole romantic scene with it. He had blushed, explaining why he did it, and I had kissed his cheek.

I sigh in content remembering our honeymoon. He was nice, so gentle. I blush remembering the night I lost my virginity. He said it was okay if I didn't want to. I even remember not wanting the wedding to end for fear of what was to come at the hotel. And I wasn't expecting anything big for our honeymoon. The shock I got when we got on a plane and flew to South America.

It was a beautiful week and we barely left the bedroom unless I asked. He had taken me to beach, monuments, resturaunts using the little Spanish he picked up from Vic. There were times where we didn't have sex, he'd just hold me in bed.

It was a wondeful experience and here I am, ruining our marriage by asking for children. He's already done so much for me, why should I ask for more? And why should he say yes? This is all my fault. He doesn't have to give me kids, but I will not forgive him for saying I'm incapable of kids because of my father. Hell, Austin even sent me to therapy.

I was better and I knew that. I wasn't that broken boy that Austin had kidnapped anymore. And it was thanks to him. He saved me, made me whole. So why did he feel I wasn't ready? I sigh, I need to stop or I'll just start crying.

But the feeling of being used doesn't fade. I get out of the bath and change quickly. I walk out of the bedroom and into the small living room before walking out of the cottage and running away... again. I'll need a new place to hide.

I run all the way to Kellin and Vic's house and knock on the door. Liam opens up, "Mom, Alan's here." Mom? But then Kellin appears and smiles at Liam, "Liam, tell your father I'll be upstairs with Alan," before pulling me up the stairs. "Okay, mom."

When we reach the room, I raise an eye-brow, "Mom?"

"Shut up," he says, blushing.

"What brought that up?"

"The boys had nightmares and Rowan said I reminded him of his mom and asked me to become his new mom. Then Liam asked if we could for him as well, and I obviously said yes. And they asked Vic to be their father."

I smile at him and he returns it, but then he frowns, "Wait - why are you here? I always visit you so you don't run into Austin." I sigh and give him a sheepish look, "Well, about that. He must have followed you or something because he was there."

Kellin gasps, "What happened?"

"Well, one thing lead to another and we had sex more than once, ugh... but now I feel so used. I feel like that was his way of getting me to forgive him, but now I feel so ashamed. So I ran away while he was sleeping... again."

"Oh, Alan, I don't know what to tell you. You guys need to talk through your problems like adults, you can't let him seduce you until you guys discuss the issue... if you want, I'll go with you."

"I'd like that."

"Ok. We'll go now. I'll tell Vic and the boys." He grabs my hand and pulls me downstairs. When we reach the living room, he walks to Vic and whispers in his ear, probably explaining what we were going to do. Vic nods and pecks his lips and then they turn to the boys.

"Boys, I'm going out with Alan. Be good, I'll be back later."

"Okay. Bye, mom," Liam says. Rowan nods and then Cope begins rambling, " Mamamamama." Kellin smiles and picks her up. "Bye, baby."

We walk out the front door to the fence and begin climbing it. When we reach the cottage, Kellin pulls me back before I could open the door. "Remember, Alan, don't give in." I nod and open the door.




We walk inside and see that Austin hasn't woken up yet. We sit on the couch and wait. It was a tense and awkward silence. "You ready, Alan?"


And I send him a small smile, "You'll be fine." And he returns the small smile, "Thanks," and before I can reply, we see Austin descend with no shirt on. I blush and look away, using my hair to cover my eyes. "Hey, Kellin."


And it was tense until Alan desides to break it, "Austin, we need to talk." I look at him and he masked his emotions by putting up a neutral face. "Alright. What do you want to talk about?"

"You know what."

Austin nods and then turns to look at me. "Could you give us a minute?" But even before I can open my mouth, Alan speaks up, "No, he's staying." Austin sends him an unimpressed look and I can't help but notice how I've never seen him so cold.

And no one spoke, nothing happened. It was just Austin and Alan staring each other down. "Ok. I think me being here is making it awkward, so I'll be in the bedroom." Alan looked like he didn't want me to leave, but I sent him a reassuring smile. I walk into the bedroom and close the door.

And immediately they start yelling.

"You can't keep seducing me to ignore the problem!" Alan.

"You aren't complaining when it's happening!" Austin.

"Now that's not fair! And it also isn't fair that you won't give me a straight answer!"

"I don't want to hurt your feelings! You know my thoughts on the matter!"

"Yeah! You think I'm incapable of raising a child because of my past! Newsflash, Austin, I got help, remember? You even took me to the therapist!"

"It's not just your past, Alan! There's more to it!"

"Then what is it, Austin? A simple no would have sufficed!"

"Fine! No! We can't have a kid!"

"Fine. That's all I needed to hear!" And I bite my lip in anticipation. "I want a divorce!" And I gasp. No!

"I want to find someone who will actually want a kid with me!" Then next thing I know, Alan is opening the bedroom door, packing his things and pulling me with him. "Come on, Kellin, we're leaving."

When we pass Austin, he grabbed Alan's arm and Alan hands me his bag and tells me to wait outside. I nod, biting my lip. I close the door behind me and wait for Alan to come out.




I turn to face him and glare. He looked so heartbroken. But I wouldn't fall for it.  "Let go, Austin."

"Please, Alan."

"No, Austin. I don't love you like I loved you yesterday. It's obvious you don't either." And I pull my arm from his grasp. But he pulls me back and slams our lips together. I try pulling away, but he grabbed me harshly and slammed me against the wall. I whimper into his mouth and he pulls back and begins apologizing profoundly.

"Austin, just let me go."

"No, Alan, I can't lose you," and he slams his lips onto mine. He begins unbuttoning my jeans and I begin panicking. Oh, God, no. I hear his jeans coming undone and I start fighting back. I finally push him off, but that got him mad and he growled. He throws me onto the couch. He takes off his shirt and I begin scrambling away.

But he caught me and pulled my jeans down, leaving me in my underwear and shirt. "No, Austin! No, STOP!" But he ignored me and began kissing down my neck, removing my sleeve from my shoulder. I feel the tears coming and I have accepted my fate. I know Kellin won't come because I told him not to come back. That he had to wait for me, no matter how long I took.

When he takes off my shirt is when the tears escape. I was just going to let him rape me. I couldn't fight against him, I'd lose. I couldn't do anything but wait for it to be over. But when he was about to pull off my underwear is when I start freaking out. I can't let this happen. I begin thrashing around and I finally got him off.

I run to the farthest wall, grabbing my jeans and buttoning them. I stare him down, tears cascading down my face. "N-No, Au-Austin. Just no."

He looked ashamed as he finally realized what he was about to do. "Alan, I - "

"Save it. I'm leaving." And I walk out and I don't speak to Kellin the whole way back. I'm not mad and I'm not blaming Kellin for what almost happened. When we reach my bedroom is when I finally collapse and cry in his arms.

"Alan, do you really want a divorce?"

"No. I just wanted to say something that'll hurt him like he hurt me."

"Alan, you shouldn't have said that, even I gasped."

"I'm sorry. He just hurt me so bad and then he goes and tries that."

"Tries what?"

"He tried to rape me."

"What? Why didn't you scream? I would have ran straight back in to save you."

And I let out a small laugh. "What is it," he asks.

"It's just - Austin and I are married, most people would turn a head if I said Austin tried to rape me because of our marriage. They'd probably think it was consensual. But not you. Why?"

"Alan, 'no' means 'no' even in marriage. And if you said no, and he tried, then it still is rape. Regardless of your marriage."

I smile and hug him back. And when stay like that until Rowan interrupted. "Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, Liam changed the channel even though I was watching tv first."

Minutes later, Liam bursts into the room. "No! I was there first," and though he was yelling, he actually looked scared. Almost as if he thought he'd get hurt or in trouble. Ha, yeah, right. Knowing Kellin, he'd probably just turn off the tv and make them do something else.

"Ok. Give me a minute, boys. I'll be right out." They nod and leave the room. Then he turns to me, "Will you be okay?" I nod.

"Yeah, go check on your kids." He smiles and nods before running out of the room. And now I'm alone.




"Ok, now what happened?"

"Oh, that was all a lie Dad told us to tell you. He's in your bedroom." I furrow my eyebrows, but nod and begin walking in that direction.

When I walk inside, I see him place Cope in her crib. "You wanted me," I ask. He turns to look at me and begins walking towards me. But I don't move back. I trust him now. Same way he trusts me.

He just stands in front of me and I bring my hand to his cheek. I let my thumb run over his skin. And then he places his hand over mine, wrapping his hand gently over mine and bringing it to his lips where he places a kiss on it.

Then he cups my cheek and brings our lips together. I immediately kiss back and he cups the back of my head. I wrap my arms around his neck. He picks me up bridal style, not once breaking the kiss, and carries me to the bed. He lays me down and climbs over me so he's on top.

I place a hand on his shoulder and slide it down to his chest. Not once did we break the kiss. And then he begins moving his hand lower. He brings it to my waist and goes under my shirt. I shiver at the feel of his skin on my skin.

He pulls back and begins placing butterfly kisses on my neck. I let out a small moan of content. He pulls my tank top sleeve off and begins kissing my shoulder. "Vic," I say, breathlessly. He pulls back and pecks my lips. "I love you," he says, sitting up and placing me on his lap. My legs wrapped around his waist and now, I was taller than him.

I lean down and kiss him. "I know," I say, still having to tell him I love you back. I just can't bring myself to say it. And I don't know if I love him back yet. But I do know I like him, that's for sure. And we sat there kissing. Just enjoying the feel each other.

But then the boys burst in. "Mom, Dad, Austin is here." And we pull back, I tense up and Vic turns to look at me. "You okay?"

"Yeah. They need to talk. Boys, tell him to wait. We'll be right down." They nod and walk out. Vic picks me up off his lap and am I really that skinny? Or is he just that strong? I climb off the bed and walk to Cope to see if she's awake. When I see she is, I pick her up. I feel come up behind me and wrap his arms around me. "It'll be okay." And I nod, pecking his cheek.

We walk downstairs and see Austin there and he looked so stressed and upset. I walk up to him and stare him down, well up. You get the point. And I slap him. His head turns on the impact. "How could you do that to Alan?! Your own husband?! Do you even know how he hurt he was that you did that?!"

He sighs, "I know, Kellin, and I feel so awful. That's why I'm here. I need to talk to him." I glare at him.

"I'm only saying yes for Alan, not for you. Because you guys need to work on your problems. And if the solution is divorce, then so be it," and he winces at the word divorce. I guess he really doesn't want to divorce Alan. Hopefully they get past this. "Come on," I say, beginning to walk up the stairs to Alan's room.

I knock on the door and hear Alan call a "Come in." I open the door and when he sees who's behind me, he immediately grows tense and runs into the bathroom. "Good luck," I tell Austin, walking out of the room. I switch Cope to my other arm and walk downstairs.

"How do you think it'll go," Vic asks.

"I don't know."



I was knocking on the bathroom, begging Alan to step out. "Alan, please, I'm so sorry. You know the last thing I'd ever want to do is hurt you. Please come out."

"No, you'll just make me cry again." And I made him cry? Oh, God. I sigh and take out a bobby pin I keep for moments like these and pick the lock. I finally get it open and I see him get up from sitting on the toilet, scrambling to the farthest wall. "Stay away from me," he hisses. But I step forward.

"Alan, I'm sorry. Please, I hate myself for making you cry. You know that was my last intention. I hate that I hurt you," I say, bringing my hand up to his cheek and he flinches. Then glares, pushing my hand away. "No! You don't get to do that, not after what you almost did to m-me," and he collapses, letting the tears fall.

"You don't get it, Austin. Today when I woke up, I had never felt so used. I knew that was your way of distracting me, but the next day, I felt so ashamed in myself. You can't just do that to me."

Seeing him like this broke my heart, and I get down on my knees with him and pull him to my chest. He's tense at first, but then he relaxes into my embrace and hugs me back. "I'm so sorry, Alan. But I only do that because I don't want to lose you. I love you so much that I'd die without you. You're my ginger princess."

I feel him laugh against my chest, "You won't lose me, Austin. But you can't use me either. And I wasn't serious about the divorce. I just wanted to hurt you like you hurt me."

"Then I must have hurt you a lot because you saying that broke my heart." And he laughs. It was music to my ears. "Am I forgiven?"

"Yes," he says. "But now it's time for the real issue."

"We'll adopt a kid, Alan," I say. And he pulls back. "Austin, you don't have to do that for me. If you don't want to, we don't have to."

"But I do. I just said no, not because you aren't ready like I said because I know you'll be a great parent. I said no because I don't feel like I'm ready. I might never have time for them with running the gang."

"That's why you make time. Vic is always home to spend time with his family. But sometimes he does leave. You won't be there all the time, but you will be there for most of the time. And that's what matters, that you care enough to make time."

"I love you, Alan," I say, pecking his forehead.

"I love you, too." And then I pick him up and carry him to the bed. When I lay him down, he stares at me sadly, probably thinking I was about to have sex with him, but I get in behind him and pull him to my chest, just holding him. And he relaxes realizing my intentions.

"I love you," I breathe.

"I love you," he mumbles.



"I'm nervous as to what happened," I say. "They've been up there an awful long time."

"Calm down, Kellin. I'm sure they're fine." I sigh.

"Maybe we should check on them." And then Vic sighs. "Fine. Let's go check. Boys, play with your sister," he says.

"'Kay, Dad." And I see him smile a bit. Aww, he likes when they call him dad. I grab his hand and we walk upstairs. I knock and no answer so I open the door and aes them sleeping. "See, I told you they'd be fine."

"Shut up," I mumble. But we go downstairs and the rest of the day is uneventful. We ate lunch and dinner, I saved some for Austin and Alan. And they didn't fight again. It was now night time and I was in the boys' room. They got into bed and kissed both their forheads and Vic just ruffled there hair. I really was the mom.

"Goodnight, boys," I say, closing the door and walking with Vic back to our room. He had Cope and he placed her in her crib. He turns around so I can change. And when he's done changing, he picks me up and lays me on the bed. He gets inbetween my legs and runs a hand down my thighs. I wrap my legs around him and he kisses me.

When we pull back, we're both panting, our breaths mingling with each other. I stare deep into his dark brown eyes and speak, "I love you, Vic."

And he smiles and pecks my lips. "I love you, Kellin."

Chapter Text


Kellin told me he loves me. Kellin just told me he loves me. Kellin is in love with me. I was still awake, watching a sleeping Kellin. He looks so beautiful - his chest rising and falling at a calm, slow pace, his pretty pink lips parted a little bit, his wide eyes closed, letting his lashes touch his round cheeks.

He had this serene look on his face and as he moves a bit, hair falls over his porcelain-like skin. I bring my hand to his face and move it away back into place. He smiles in his sleep and snuggles deeper into my chest. I smile down at him. God, he's so beautiful. And all mine.

I have his love, I have his kids, I will have his virginity. But I don't have his first kiss. Jesse has that. I feel my anger rising at that. No, Vic, remember what happened last time you let your anger get the best of you. I feel my heart constrict as I remember what I did to Kellin last time I got mad. I had almost raped him. God, I had never hated myself more than I did then for doing that to him.

Hell, I had cried, something I never do. But Kellin's frightened expression, his eyes filled with fear, tears, and betrayal. His shaking form, the bruises I inflicted, his trembling voice. It just got to me. Now, I'm not going to lie, I have raped people before and they had screamed, cried, and begged like Kellin, and I didn't care. But when he did all of that, I felt my heart break.

I stare down at him and run my hand over his smooth cheek, remembering when I first met him. His skin was battered with bruises. The ones that got me furious were the ones on his thighs. I know now how they came to be and who inflicted them. Oh, Kellin, if I ever find the one who hurt you, I'm hoping that God looks away.

But his skin was blemish free now, not a single scratch. Except for the three scars on his wrist. He told me the story of those and how he regretted doing it right after. I kissed the scars on his wrist and told him, "I still think you're beautiful and I don't ever want to lose you."

I stare at him and remove the blanket, he shivers a bit, but he digs his face in my chest and stops. I smile at him, God, he's perfect. I stare at the American flag shirt he wears to sleep, it was loose on his slim frame. I lower my gaze to where the shirt stops - a little before mid-thigh.

His legs pale and smooth. I remember when he wore those ridiculous pink shorts, because he had forgotten to do the laundry and it was his last resort. He was scared when he told me he forgot to do the laundry - probably thinking I'd lash out like his uncle. But I just told him it was fine.

His legs were on full display right now.  His beautiful skin exposed. I run my hands over his thighs, enjoying the feel of that soft skin. All of him was soft, well, I don't know about down there since I've never seen him naked. Not even when I almost broke him. I sigh before covering him up again.

I peck his lips before wrapping my arms around him and falling into a deep, blissful sleep.


The next morning, I wake up to someone jumping on me. I groan and J hear Kellin chuckling, music to my ears. "Come on, Vic," he says, softly. "Time to get up." I love his voice. I feel him get out of bed. When I open my eyes, I see Liam on me. He gets off when he sees I'm awake. Then I turn to face Kellin and see him walk to his drawer where he puts on a pair of shorts first and then takes off the shirt to change into a different one. He had told the boys to turn around.

I watch him walk to our bathroom where he brushes his teeth. When he picks up Cope is when I get up and I come up behind him, wrapping my arms around his skinny torso. "Morning," I mumble into his ear.

"Good morning."

I pull back and begin getting ready for the day. When I walk out, Kellin wasn't in the room anymore. He probably went downstairs to start breakfast. I walk downstairs and see him and Alan in the kitchen, smiling and laughing. I see Austin with Cope and the boys watching tv. So I join them.

I take a seat and Rowan gasps, "Dad, no, you're sitting on Timmy."

"Who's Timmy?"

"Timmy's a turtle." He'll get along with Tony very well.

"It's his imaginary friend, dad," Liam says, rolling his eyes at his younger brother. "Oh, I guess I'll move then," I say, getting up and moving to the other side. Austin was smirking at me and he opens his mouth. "Shut up," I snap before he can say anything smart. He just raises his hands in defense and goes back to playing with Cope.



Alan and I were cooking breakfast and we finished, so I was setting the table. "Boys, breakfast!" All of them come in, and then I hear Rowan gasps as I step into the dining room. "I almost forgot - Timmy!" And I send Vic a confused stare.

"It's his imaginary friend," and my mouth makes a perfect 'O'. Alan and I take our seats, everyone starts eating as soon as Rowan returns while I fed Cope. Rowan went as far as giving a seat to Timmy so there was an empty chair at the table.

We finish breakfast and Alan and I begin on the dishes. As we finish, I hear the phone ring. I dry my hands and answer, "Hello?"

"Kellin? It's been a while!"

"Jesse? Oh, my God. It has! How've you been?"

"Been good. I was wondering if I could visit."

"Of course! I have another surprise for you!"

"Oh, God. What is it this time?"

"Not telling. See you when?"

"A week?"

"Alright. How are Gabe and Jack?"

"As far as I know, they're still dating."

"Good. And Justin?"

"He's been good, still his weird self." And I laugh.

"Alright, well, tell them I say hi and I miss them."

"Okay. I miss you too. Bye."

"Bye." I hang up and when I look up, I see Vic there. "Who was it?"

"Jesse. He's visiting in a week," I say, excitedly. But my happiness vanishes when I see his expression. And I remember what happened last time Jesse visited. "V-Vic? You won't hurt me again, right," I ask, my bottom lip trembling.

"Of course not," he says, pulling me into a hug. "I will never hurt you like that again," and I relax in his hold. "I love you, Kellin."

"I love you, too."

We walk into the living room and take our seats until Rowan stares at us as if we were murderers. "Mom, Dad, you're both on Timmy," he says, frantically. We sigh and get up, sitting on the floor. Cope crawls to us. I pick her up, "Hi, baby," I say, smiling.

"Mama," she says and begins crawling away. "You know, we should get a baby gate to keep her from falling down the stairs at night," I tell Vic.

"Yeah. We'll go to the store today, when do you want to go," he says. I smile, "Can we go now and just get it over with?"

"Sure," he says, getting up and then helping me up as well. "Hey, guys, we're going to the store, watch Cope for me?"

"Sure," Alan says, picking her up.

"Can I come," Liam asks.

"Of course. Grab your shoes." He runs upstairs and comes back wearing shoes. "Let's go," Vic says. We walk out the door and towards the garage. We pick a random car and get in, Vic turning on the ignition. "Put on your seatbelt, Liam," he says. Liam huffs, but puts it on.

We drive out of HQ and towards Wal*Mart. Vic parks the car and takes my hand while I grab Liam's. I wouldn't have done it if it weren't for the fact that I've never had good experiences at Wal*Mart. We walk to the baby section, Vic never leaving any of our sides and it made me feel safer.

We look for the baby wall and finally find it beside the cribs. Vic grabs a box and we begin walking towards the cash register. "Hola, ¿como estan?" The cahsier asks.

"Bien, ¿y usted?" Vic responds.

"Bien, gracias. Va ser veinte dolares." Vic hands her money and we're leaving before we know. But as we walk to the car, I freeze and I feel Liam do the same. "Vic," I say just as Liam says, "Dad?"

"What is it," Vic asks us, worriedly.

"It's the guy that said I'd make a good sex slave for him."

"Really? That's one of the guys that raped me," Liam says, moving closer to me. I wrap an arm around him, my heart clenching. Looking at Liam, you could see how afraid he was. Vic puts the box down and gets down to Liam's level.

"Don't worry. I will never let anything happen to you," he says, pulling Liam close and kissing his forehead. He gets up and stares into my eyes. "Or your mother," he finishes. I nod and take Liam's hand.

We begin walking towards the car and Vic puts the box in the trunk before unlocking the car, but before we can get in, I hear a voice call out. I tense up and Liam moves to my side, digging his face in my stomach. I see the man coming closer, but before he reaches us, Vic rushes to our side.

"Hey, isn't that the whore of a kid I fucked," he yells and Liam flinches.

The man freezes when he sees Vic. "Get in the car," he orders. I help Liam into the car before turning to look at Vic, he was tense and he was angry. "Never call my son a whore again or I swear to God, you'll regret it."

"And what are you going to do?" Vic punches him and I flinch, having known what Vic's punches feel like. "Ever heard of Pierce the Veil," Vic hisses and from what I can see, at the name, the man's eyes shine fear. "I can see you have," Vic begins. "Good, ever mess with my family again and you'll have that gang after your pathetic ass." Then he tells me to get inside the car and he gets in himself.

We drive away and it was a tense, silent ride. That is until Vic speaks up, "Liam?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"I hope you know that you aren't a whore. That man is a liar. You're anything but a whore."

"... Thanks, dad. But I can't help but feel like one at times."

"Well, don't. You're not a whore because you didn't want it. You'll never be a whore."

"Okay," and I send a smile to Vic. He really cared. I place my hand over his and he looks at me through the corner of his eye. I send him a small smile. He sighs and sends me one as well.

We arrive at HQ and we go park the car in the garage. Vic takes out the box and we all walk back home. We see Alan making Cope go to sleep while Austin played video games with Rowan. To be honest, they looked like parents. I see Alan walk to Copeland's space-saver and lay her in it gently before strapping her in.

Alan smiles when he sees us and takes a seat on the couch. Liam runs to Rowan's side and Austin hands him his controller before going to sit on the couch with Alan. Vic and I walk upstairs where he starts setting it up. This was to prevent Cope from falling down the stairs if she ever got out of her crib.

When we're done, we go downstairs careful of where we sit so we "don't sit on Timmy."

"So, we'll be leaving in a few days," Austin informs us.

"Yeah, thanks for having us, though. I know we must have been a hassle," Alan continues.

"No, we didn't mind having you. Although, I wish it were under better circumstances," Vic says and I gape at him. He was being friendly.

"So, what are we doing today," Alan asks.

"Let's go swimming, we have a pool in one of the houses here."

"Really?" Liam asks.

"Yeah, come on, let's go find you some swimming shorts, I'm sure I have some from when I was a boy," he says and the boys follow him.

Austin gets up and walks up the stairs. "Does he have shorts here," I ask.

"Oh, yeah. They once had a gang meeting in the hot tub, so he has a pair here."

"What about you," I ask.

"Oh, I don't swim. I might get in the hot tub. You?"

"I kind of forgot how to swim. It's been - what? - eight years since I've been swimming."

"Well, join me in the hot tub."

"I don't own swimming trunks."

"You can borrow some of mine. Come on," he says, getting up and pulling me up the stairs. We walk to his room. He starts digging through his clothes and pulls out to pairs of shorts, handing me a pair. "Go change in the bathroom," he says.

I walk in and take off all my clothes, putting on the shorts and my tank top. I walk out and see Alan already in the shorts. "Come on," he says, pulling my hand so I drop my clothes. When we walk downstairs, I see we are the first ones ready. Then Austin descends. Looking at him, I see he had a lot of muscle and he was covered in tattoos. He also had a scar on his chest.

He walks to Alan's side, wrapping an arm around him. And finally Vic and the boys appear. I also notice Vic had Cope in his arms and she was wearing a one piece. Awww. My baby looks so cute. "Let's go," he says.

We walk out and Vic leads us to the house. He unlocks it and turns on the lights. I look around and see that there were the doughnut floats and some for babies. Before I can do anything else, Alan pulls me to the hot tub and turns it on. And I was about to get in, but he stopped me.

"Uh-uh. Take off the shirt." I blush, but do as he says. My blush darkens when it's off. "Alan, I don't feel comfortable," and he stare softens. "It's okay. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Now let's enjoy ourselves, okay?" I nod.

He smiles and we step into the Jacuzzi. I immediately relax at the hot water. "This feels amazing," I breathe. From behind me, I hear the boys, Vic, and Austin laughing. I turn to see Vic holding Cope in his arms and she was kicking the water. Then she starts splashing it, laughing and giggling.

The boys were floating around and Austin was swimming. And I felt happy knowing they were having fun. I turn back to Alan to see his head leaning back, his expression pure bliss. And I copy his action, letting my body relax.

After a while, Vic comes to the Jacuzzi and hands me Cope before diving into the pool. I let her feet touch the water to see how she would react to it. She kicks it, smiling, so I set her in deeper. She was reacting to the water all right, but I was reluctant. Eventually, I set her on my lap, letting her play with the water.

I cup water and let it fall on her head, wetting the short hair she has. She squeals. I smile down at her. I pick her up and let her feet touch the water before pulling her up again and then doing it again. She was kicking the water.

But then she started shivering and I knew it was time to get out. I walk to a chair and grab her towel that Vic brought. I wrap her in it, drying her a bit before pulling it back and taking off her swimsuit. Then I wrap her back up. "Hey, Vic?"


"I'm about to take Copeland home."

"I'll go with you," he says, getting out of the pool. Before I could protest, he was already beside us. "Alright," I say, "let's go."

"Alan, when the boys want to leave, bring them home?"

"Sure," he replies. I smile and nod before walking out. Vic and I walk back home where I give Cope a bath to wash out the chlorine from her hair and body. After that's done is when I put her some clothes on. When I walk out of the bathroom, I bump into Vic.

"I'll take her, you can shower."

"Thanks," I say, pecking his cheek before grabbing my clothes and towel. I walk back into the bathroom and lock the door before stripping out of the shorts and turning on the shower head. When the water is warm enough is when I get in under.

I finish with my shower and step out, drying myself and then putting on my clothes. I walk out of the bathroom, towel drying my hair before laying the towel on the door to dry. I see Vic with Cope on the bed. "Vic, you can shower now."

He smiles and nods, handing me Cope. I walk downstairs - opening the baby gate - and set Cope in her high chair before walking into the kitchen to start lunch.

By the time I was almost finished, Alan, Austin, Liam, and Rowan walk in. They immediately all perk up at the food, but I stop them, "Nuh-uh. No lunch until you all come down showered and clean." They both groan, but Austin and Alan were both smirking. "You as well," I tell them, crossing my arms.

"What? But we're both adults," Austin protests.

"I don't care, go freshen up," I say. They groan, but walk upstairs. I go back into the kitchen, adding last touches to the food when Vic speaks up, "Well, Mama Kells was interesting to watch."

"Shut up," I mumble, blushing.

"Nah, it was cute. But it goes to show, you are the mom." I decide to ignore him and begin serving the food. I set the plates full of food, making sure to give Vic his last. The boys were the first to appear and they immediately dig in.

I begin feeding Cope her food. Then Austin and Alan appear. They begin eating as well. When I'm done feeding Cope, I begin eating.

Lunch went by smoothly and Austin offers to wash the dishes. When we enter the living room, I stop and look to Rowan. "Rowan, sweetie, where is Timmy so I know where not to sit?"

"He's still eating."

"Alright," I say, sitting down. Vic takes a seat beside me and Alan takes the recliner. The boys were watching Spongebob. Then there was knocking on the door. I get up to answer it and smile at who I see.

"Tony!... and Mike," I say, my cheery expression disappearing at seeing him.

"Aw, come on, Kellin. I'm sorry." But before I can reply, Rowan speaks up, "Mom, who is it?" Then he appears beside me. When I turn to face Mike and Tony, they both had an eye-brow raised.

"These are your uncles, Tony and Mike," I say, gesturing to each on their name. Tony waves at him and I gesture for them to come in. They do and I lead them to the living room. "Vic, Mike is here."

But Mike being his smart self says, "There's another one?!" Pointing to Liam. Liam looked upset and I rush to his side. "Mike, don't yell. They don't like it," I snap.

"Sorry," he says. I roll my eyes at him. "Ignore him," I say. "He's your stupid uncle."

"I'm not stupid!"

"Shut up, Mike, you are," Vic says, pulling Rowan onto his lap. He was rocking Cope's space-saver with his foot. Mike and Tony sit down and Rowan yells, "Mom! They're on Timmy!"

"Who's Timmy," Tony asks.

"His imaginary friend," I mouth. "Timmy is a turtle," I say, speaking out this time. They nod, moving to another spot on the couch. I take a seat beside Vic and pull Liam with me.

"So, why do they call you 'Mom', Kellin," Mike asks.

"They asked me if they could, and I said yes."

"What do they call Vic," Tony asks.

"Dad," Vic answers.

"So, you're their parents now," Tony asks. We nod.

"Okay. Kellin, Alan? Can I talk to you in private?" He asks, sending us a look. I knew why. He was going to ask about the cottage and he didn't want anyone to know about the cottage.

"Yeah," I say, asking Liam to move and Alan gets up, replying with, "Sure." We walk to the hallway and then we bolt up the stairs. We walk into a random room that no one uses and lock the door.

"Okay. How as your stay in my cottage?"

"It was good. Kellin visited me everyday."

"Can I ask why you needed to stay there?"

"He had a fight with Austin and Austin had come here, so we decided to hide him in your cottage."

"Okay. As long as Mike and Vic don't know about it, we're fine." Then we hear a bump on the door and we quiet down, and hear, "Mike, you idiot."

"Shut up, Vic, they could hear us."

"Both of you shut up."

I smirk having an idea, I whisper it to Alan who tells Tony and we all smile at each other. I nod, telling them to begin. Alan first, "Ahh, Kellin, you sure know how to suck dick," he says, fake-moaning.

"Ugh, Tony, right there, hit that spot again," I scream.

"Kellin! You're so tight," Tony yells. Then we jump on the bed, making it squeak and groan. We kept fake moaning and Alan decides to speak, "Ugh, Kellin. I'm cumming," and then he lets out a loud moan. "Kellin, I can't believe you swallowed it all."

Now it was up to Tony and I. "T-Tony," I breathe. Alan covers his mouth to stop himself from laughing. "I'm about to cum!"

"Me too, Kellin!" And then we both scream. I walk to Alan and mess up his hair, then do the same to Tony. And they both do it to me. We walk to the bathroom and splash water on us to make it seem as if we were sweating. And we mess up our clothes a bit.


Tony and I nod, we were almost laughing. Then we open the door and see our partners there, glaring, arms crossed. "Oh? Hey, guys. We just finished our talk," Tony begins.

"Yep. It was very important," I say, agreeing.

"Yeah, let's go downstairs," Alan says, pulling our hands and we bolt downstairs. "Boys, we pulled a prank on your father. Don't tell him where we went," I say, running and they nod. We run outside, towards Jaime's house.

I knock frantically on the door and he opens up. We run in, breathing hard. "Uh, not that I mind your company, but why are you here?"

Then I explain what we did and why and he bursts out laughing. "Oh, wow. Please, stay as long as you need," he says, between laughter. Then we all start laughing. "I can't believe we did that," I say.

"Right? We're crazy." Tony.

"Did you see their faces? Priceless!" Alan.

"Yeah, but we're so dead." Tony. The laughter dies down and it's a tense silence before we just start laughing again. Then Jaime walks in.

"So, Jaime, you still in contact with Jesse?" He begins blushing like mad. "Yeah."

"Oh," I say, feigning surprise. "Is that so? And what have you talked about?"

"Nothing much. The basics."

"What does 'the basics' cover?"

"You know, how we are, what life is like. He told me he was coming to visit you in a week."

"Yes, I know. Are you going to come over when he does?"

"Um, I guess."

"Kellin, stop patronizing Jaime," Alan says, laughing. I laugh too. "It's alright, Jaime. I approve of your relationship."

"Wait - we aren't in - " but we were already gone. We walk home and see Rowan and Liam still playing their game. "Where's your dad?"

"He went with Uncle Mike and Uncle Austin to look for you." Liam.


"What was the prank anyway?" Rowan.

"We pretended to have sex with each other because we knew they were eavesdropping."

"Oh, okay, by the way, Timmy is on the recliner," Rowan says. And we sit on the big couch. I see Cope was still in her space-saver, sleeping. "Don't worry, dad told us to feed her and then let her go back to sleep." I nod.

Then we hear the door burst open. "Where could they be," Vic snaps.

"We've checked everywhere," Austin shouts.

"Ugh, Jesus." Then they walk into the living room and freeze when they see us. "Hey, dad, they're back," Liam says, informing Vic of what he already knows. Tony, Alan, and I look at each other before looking at our partners. Then at each other again before we burst out laughing.

They looked confused, but the anger didn't fade from their eyes. I couldn't stop laughing. "It was - it was a joke," Alan says, through his laughter.

"We knew you - you were eavesdropping," Tony says, struggling.

"They're right, it was my idea," I say, falling to the ground in laughter. Soon Alan and Tony join me and we were a laughing mess. Vic and the others had a look of revelation as we told them the truth.

And finally we stop laughing. I get up on shakey legs before trying to help Alan up, but he pulls me down and I land on top of him. I start laughing again and try to pull myself up only to fall again. But I think Vic's jealousy got the best of him because he pulls me up and holds me to his chest by the waist. I see Austin do the same.

Alan and I make eye contact and start laughing harder. Today's a good day.


It was night time now, we were getting ready to go to bed. And Rowan told me to get Timmy, so I pretended to grab thin air and gave it to him. Then he went to sleep.

I walk back to Vic and mine room. I see him changing and I blush and look away. "You can look, Kellin. You know I don't mind," and when I look up he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his body. Then he leans down and kisses me.

I kiss back and we just stand there kissing until he pulls back. "What was that about," I ask, breathlessly. "Nothing," he says, grudgedly.

"Vic, what's wrong?"

"I just - I know that what you did with Alan and Tony was a joke, but I can't help but feel like it really did happen. That you gave someone else your virginity."

"Vic," I begin, placing my hand under his chin, making him look at me. "I love you. And only you. I'm sorry if the prank made you uncomfortable, but that's all it was - a prank. If I ever do lose my virginity, it will be to you. I can't picture myself doing it with anyone else. Just you. You don't have anything to worry about. Okay?"

"Okay. And I love you too." I smile and peck his lips before walking to my drawers, pulling out my shirt. When I turn to Vic, his back was already to me. I change quickly and walk to Vic. He carries me to the bed where we sleep together.

That is until we wake up to Rowan crying. We sit up and Vic was about to get out of bed, but I stop him, "No, it's okay. I'll check." He nods and goes back to sleep.

I walk to the boys' room and towards Rowan's bed, but I don't see him and now I'm awake. I run out of the room and sprint down the stairs. And I see him in the middle of the living room in the dark. "Rowan, how'd you get down there?"

"I don't know - Timmy brought me down here."

"Okay. Well, I'll be right down. Don't move." He nods and I open the baby gate before walking down tbe stairs. I reach Rowan and pick him up, carrying him back to his room. I lay him in his bed, pecking his forehead. Then I walk back to my room and flop down on the bed, going back to sleep.

That was a week ago and I was about to tell Jesse about it. He had arrived this morning and since Austin and Alan wanted to say "hi" before leaving said they'd be leaving tomorrow. I'm going to miss them, but at least I have Jesse now. I'm not going to lie, I was scared for Vic's reaction to Jesse being here, but he was civil.

But the whole day, Vic didn't leave my side and it was cute that he was jealous and protective, but I really just wanted to hang out with Jesse. So when the boys asked for Vic, I took it as my chance. And I had told him how I'm scared of an imaginary turtle.

When Jesse first came in, I told him to close his eyes and I ran to the boys room, telling them about Jesse and how they were his surprise. I told them to hide until I call them out. So we walk downstairs and the boys hide in the kitchen. "Ok, Jesse, open your eyes," I had said.

"Uh, Kellin, there's nothing here."

"Not yet, boys, come on out." They walk out and stand on either side of me, hiding a bit. "Jesse, meet my sons - Liam," I say, gesturing to him. "And Rowan," I say, doing the same.

"You have two more kids?!" And I feel the boys flinch.

"Jesse, don't scream. They don't like it."

"Sorry. But how? What?"

"Boys, go to Vic."

"Okay, mom." They run off. I turn back to face Jesse. "I found them in the woods, badly beaten. I couldn't leave them, so I took them in. And they asked Vic and I to be their new parents."

"Ok. I'm not actually surprised that you took them in - knowing you. But if you're 'mom', does that make Vic 'dad'?" I nod and then we had begun talking a bit until Vic's jealousy got the best of him and he found excuses for me to leave Jesse. The boys saved me though, they wanted to play with Vic and I was finally able to talk to Jesse. And I told him about how Rowan's imaginary friend freaks me out.

"So what happened?"

"Ok. So, my eight year old has a turtle named Timmy that he can't sleep without. And he's on some real weird shit in his life. Like I'll wake up and I'll hear him crying, and I'll go to his room, but he won't be in there.

But he'll be downstairs. Which he has to climb over like a baby like gate and then walk down a hard wood staircase. And he'll just be in the dark by himself."

"Which one is the eight year old?"

"Rowan. I'll be like, 'How'd you get down there?' And he's like, 'I don't know - Timmy brought me down here.' So Timmy's a real scary imaginary friend."

"That's real," Jesse says.

"Right? I'm just hoping he'll grow out of it."

"Anyway, how've you been?"

"I've been good. Two more children won't kill me."

"Well, you seem happy. So I'm happy. But how have you been since Vic..."

"I've been good. I have my episodes, but I'm okay."

"That's good."

"Yeah, but don't mention what happened to the boys, they love Vic. And they were sexually abused most of their lives. So don't. Please."

"Don't worry, I won't. Where are they now?"

"I think they're sleeping with Vic." And it was night time, the time when I finally got to talk to Jesse alone. "Let's go check on them, I want them to like me and pick me as their favorite uncle."

I laugh, "You don't have competition with Mike, you only have it with Tony, Alan, and Austin. And maybe with Jack, Justin, and Gabe when they meet them. Good luck." We walk to the boys' room and I open the door quietly. I almost "aww" at what I see. There was Vic on the boys' bed both boys on either side of him, asleep on his shouders. He had an arm around Rowan and Liam and he was also asleep. I take out the phone Vic bought me and snap a picture, setting it as my wallpaper.

We walk out of the room and back to the living room where Alan and Austin were heavily making out. I blush, turning my head away and Jesse clears his throat. I turn to see Alan and Austin breaking apart. They blush, but get up and run upstairs. I think I have an idea as to what they're about to do.

"Vic really cares," Jesse says - out of nowhere to be honest. I send him a look of confusion.

"Vic - he really does care. He may not be the nicest guy, or ever been in love, but he definitely cares. And it's obvious he really loves you too."

I blush. But Jesse continues, "I approve of Vic, sure, he's a bit of a fixer-upper, but he obviously loves you very much and that's more than I can ask of him. As long as he loves you and doesn't hurt you ever again, I'll approve. Because the moment he hurts you, I'm taking you and the kids and booking it." I laugh.

"Thanks, Jesse," I say, hugging him. "And I've finally told Vic I love him too," I say, quickly.

He pulls back, smiling, "Really? That's great! Oh, I can hear wedding bells already. What will be your color scheme - black and blue, green, purple?" I start laughing.

"Jesse, calm down. There won't be any wedding bells for a while. Remember, this is my first relationship and I want to take things slow. Wait until I'm ready, you know?"

"That's good, Kells - that you're waiting. And I'm sure Vic will wait for you until you're ready. Speaking of, he hasn't tried to force himself onto you, has he?"

"Of course not. The most we have done is kiss."

"Good. I don't want to see you broken ever again. You're the happiest I've ever seen you."

"I feel happier." And it's true, I've never felt better in my life than I do now. I haven't cried, had a nightmare, flinched, I don't have bruises or scars. I'm the best I've ever been in my whole entire life. "How are your songs coming along?"

"You know, I haven't been writing. I should start again."

"Alright, tell me when you finish one, you know I love your singing."

"Ok. You'll be the first to know."

"I better. I also better be the first to know when you lose your virginty." I pull back and hit his arm. "Jesse," I scold. "No, bad Jesse. You will not say things like that."

"I'm not a dog."

"Could have fooled me."


"Yeah, yeah, but Jesse, I'm going to bed. Good night," I say, picking up Cope from her space-saver. "Good night, Kellin." I start walking upstairs and begin blushing when I hear moans coming from Austin and Alan's room. I walk faster past that room. I reach my room and I place a sleeping Cope in her crib before changing myself into my shirt and going to bed.

Hours later, I wake up when I feel someone enter the room. I sit up and begin rubbing my eyes. "Vic," I call.

"Yeah," he says. "Go back to sleep," he says.

I see him walk to his drawer and begin changing. I lay back down and close my eyes. I feel Vic get in bed and pull me to his chest. "I love you," he says.

"I love you too." He pecks my lips and goes to sleep along with me.

Chapter Text

It's been months since Austin and Alan, and Jesse left. They haven't visited in a while, but they do talk to me everyday and they talk to Liam, Rowan, and Cope. Cope had a learned more words and now you can somewhat understand what she says. But she stills has her adorable baby talk. Cope was now 10 months.

I was laying in bed, just finished cleaning and I was worn out. Cope was playing on the floor with her billions of toys that Vic bought for her. I told him not to, but he also bought the boys some game consoles and a million games. I didn't think they needed that much, but Vic thought they did, so whatever I guess.

Vic and the boys were downstairs I think. Or they went to Mike's place. I hear my phone ring and I groan. I get up and answer, "Hello?"

"Kellin! How have you been?"

"I've been good, Alan. But I'm a bit tired right now. I just finished cleaning," I say, walking towards the bed. But then a small hands stops me. I look down and see Cope pulling on my pants. "Cope, baby, I'm on the phone, go play," I say, picking her up and kissing her cheek befoe setting her down. I lay down again and respond to Alan.

"No, Vic's downstairs. I'm not home alone." But I didn't hear his reponse because Cope starts calling me again, "Mamamamama." I sit up and see something that would have never crossed my mind. "Alan, I'm going to have to call you back." He responds with an, "Alright. Bye," and I hang up. I get down to the floor on my knees and my baby walks to me.

I try to speak, but my throat closes up, but I try to speak anyway. "V-Vic," I scream. Cope was in my arms by the time Vic arrived. "What is it? What happened," he asked, rushing to my side.

"Cope," I say. I let her go and she tries to get up and when she does, she walks to her toys. I look to Vic, smiling. He looked shocked, but the happiness was in his eyes. "She walked," he says. And I nod. He picks me up and spins me before setting me down and leaning down to kiss me. He, then, pulls back smiling and lets me go before walking to Cope. He picks her up and pecks her cheek. "You're growing up way too fast." She giggles, probably not understanding, but happy to have her father's attention.

The boys come in later, probably wondering why their father was taking too long and they see their baby sister walking. "She's walking," Rowan cheers. I nod. They walk to her and begin kissing her cheeks and giving her raspberries. I smile at them before Vic pulls me onto his lap. I give a small gasp at the fast movement, but when his arms wrap around me, my body relaxes.

"I love you," he whispers, pecking my cheek.

"I love you," I tell him, turning to face him. He smiles at me and I smile back. He leans in to kiss me, but then my phone starts ringing. I laugh at his angry gaze towards my phone, and then I see Jesse's name. "Jesse! Hi."

He laughs, "Hey, Kellin. How are you?"

"Good. You? Have you asked Jaime out yet?"

"Good, and no. I think I'm going to do it on your birthday."

"Isn't my birthday like months away? Come on, Jesse, that's too long."

".... Kellin, you're birthday's next month."

"What? No. It couldn't have possibly been a year already," I say, getting off of Vic's lap and walking to the calender. I had ran away on my birthday, and if what Jesse says is true, it's almost a year. "Ha! See, the calender says it's March 24th... holy shit, my birthday's next month. I'm turning twenty-three."

I hear him laughing on the other end, "I told you. Jeez, Kellin, keep up with time. I bet you keep track of Vic's, Cope's, Liam's, and Rowan's birthdays, but not your own." And I blush because he's right. Vic's birthday was last month. He turned twenty-six, but he didn't want anything extravagant. He said he wanted just have a day with his family. And we did, we went to the movies, swimming, and just spent the day together. His parents and Mike got him presents, but that's it. I tried to comvince him other wise, but he wouldn't budge.

I walk back to him and he pulls me onto his lap again. I turn to the boys and smile as they aren't even paying attention to my conversation. They were busy playing with Cope. Their birthday's were July 2nd and October 16th (not accurate, I don't Liam nor Rowan's birthdays).

"Shut up. I can't believe I didn't even keep track of my birthday. It was my favorite day of the year because my uncle would leave me alone for the whole day. I guess he wasn't completely heartless," I say. But Vic's grip tightens on my waist and I wince a bit. His grip immediately loosens and he sends me an apologetic look. I smile at him.

"Kellin, we all know that man is heartless. But on a lighter note, I'm coming down for your birthday with the guys. What's Vic going to do for your birthday?"

"Not sure."

"If it involves you, it's going to be big. Well, I have to go. I'm going present shopping with the boys."

"Wait - you don't have to - "

"Bye, Kellin. Love you," he says and hangs up. I set my phone down and turn to face Vic. "I can't believe I didn't even remember my own birthday was coming up."

"Knowing you, it's too be guessed. You don't worry about yourself, you worry about others." I blush, shoving his shoulder lightly. He chuckled and we stayed in each others embrace, watching the kids until Liam walks up to us. "Mom, I'm hungry," he says, shyly. They were still scared to ask for things. And since almost been a year, that "mom" thing didn't phase me anymore.

"Okay. I'll go make something," I say, getting off of Vic. I walk out the bedroom, Liam following after. Everytime they ask for something, they look scared, they don't really talk. And I've been writing a song about them. It felt good to start writing again. I'm almost done with it, I just don't have the chorus. And the name. Eh, minor details.

I cook spaghetti and meatballs and serve Liam a plate. Then I grab orange juice and hand it to him. "Thank," he mumbles. I smile, "No problem," I say, pecking his forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too, mom."

I take a seat beside him knowing he doesn't like being alone. I sneak a meatball from his plate, but he noticed. "Mom, no," he says, dramatically clutching his heart. I roll my eyes at him, smiling. "Fine, but I'm not the one getting fat," he says. I gasp obnoxiously loud. "You wound me," I say, sticking out my tongue at him. "It's true."

"Meanie," I pout.

"Whatever. Se que es la verdad." Another thing, we learned Spanish. It took a year, but we finally have it down. Vic, Mike, Tony, and Jaime taught us. We're going to try to teach Cope now while she's still really young. Vic had taught me how to speak it by making me sing in Spanish and then he started telling me what words meant when I knew how to speak it. "Pues, sabes que, no, no lo es. Yo estoy bien flaco," I tell him.

Before he could retaliate, Vic comes down with Cope and Rowan. "Espero que hicistes para los demas."

"Claro que no, solo le hice a Liam." He gave me mock glare and I laugh. "I'm just kidding, I made more. Serve yourself some if you want." He nods, handing me Cope. I set her on my lap. Vic then appears with two plates and sets one in front of Rowan. He sits beside me and takes Cope before feeding her a small piece of spaghetti, yep, she had teeth. "You're not eating," he asks me.

"Nope. Not hungry."

"You really should eat. You cleaned all day and haven't eaten," he says.

"I guess, I'll eat an apple or something," I say, getting up and walking into the kitchen. I look through the cupboards and fridge until I find it. "Yes. Swiss Rolls." I take out to packs and walk back to the table. I open one pack and take a bite. I love chocolate, it's my weakness. If I could, I'd marry chocolate. I don't care how bad for you it is.

When we finish eating, Vic decides to do the dishes. I walk into the living room and turn on the radio. It was one of Vic's, but that was me... singing. And the song was If I'm James Dean, You're Audrey Hepburn, the version I sang with Jesse and the gang. Only Alan knew about them. "Hey, mom, isn't that you singing," Rowan asks.

"Yeah, it is," I say. But then Vic comes into the living room. "Vic, how'd you get these songs?"

"Oh... um, Alan sent them to me and I burnt them onto the CD," he says, sheepishly. I blush a bit, but peck his cheek. "That's sweet."

He smiles and sits down on the couch before pulling me onto his lap. Then he kisses me full on the mouth. I begin blushing harder and pull away quickly. I was never one for PDA unless it's a small peck. I hide my burning face in his neck and I feel him laughing. "You're so cute."

"Shut up," I mumble into his neck. But he just nips at my neck and I jump. "No, Vic," I say. He glares playfully, but I can't help to think he's being serious. We've been dating almost a year and I haven't... given myself to him in that way yet. I just want to save myself. Which reminds me. "Hey, Vic, I need to call Alan back, I'll be right back," I say, getting off his lap. I run upstairs and grab my phone before dialling his number.


"Oh, hey, Austin, is Alan around?"

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen. But how can I help?"

"I promised him I'd call him back when Cope kinda started walking."

"She did? That's amazing."

"I know. My baby's growing up. Speaking of, have you and Alan adopted?"

"No, we've decided to wait. But we've started off with cats. I prefer dogs, but Alan really loves cats, so I let him. We got two. He let me name one and he named the other."

"Aww, what are their names?"

"Alan named one Sophie and I named the other Nala."

"... Isn't that Alan backwards?"

"Why do you think I named her that?"

"You're so sweet to Alan."

"I try. Oh, here he is now. I'll hand him the phone."

"Alright, bye, Austin."

"Bye, Kellin. Here's Alan."

"Hey, Kellin."

"Hey... wait - I'm about to put you on speaker, I need to pick up Cope's toys."



"Alright, so how are you and Vic?" I hear Alan asks. Yes, I was eavesdropping, but I wanted to know what they were talking about. Yeah, I was jealous of his friendship with Alan, but I was not about to ruin it for him. I love him too much for that.

"We're good. I've never been happier." I smile.

"That's good. And have you two, ya know?"

There was a pause before he answered. "No. I still don't feel like I'm ready, but I feel like it bothers him. I know I've made him wait a year now, and I'm scared he gets impatient. I'm scared of what he'll do." My heart breaks hearing that. Does he not trust me? God, I regret what I did to him. But he should know I'd wait.

"Kellin, Vic would never do that to you... again. If he loves you like he says he does, then he'll wait. And it's obvious he does love you. Just look at Austin and I, I made him wait two years and when we did have sex that's only 'cause we got married. Vic will wait until you're ready, not when he's ready. You have to trust him, and if he does hurt you - which we all know he won't - there's always room here for you and the kids. Or with Jesse. You're not alone."

"Thanks, Alan. And you're right. I know Vic loves me. And I hope he respects my decision."

"Good. Now what's this I hear about Cope walking?"

Then Kellin goes into an animated talk about how Cope started walking. But I can't get over the fact that he's scared of me. At least Alan steered him in a diffrerent direction than that one. I really wished he'd get over that fear he had of me. But finally he stops talking to Alan and I take that as my cue to enter the room. He turns to look at me and smiles, "Hey, Vic."

"Kellin, we need to talk."


"I heard your conversation with Alan," and I see him tense up. "Kellin," I say, taking a step towards him only for him to take a step back. It breaks my heart. "Kellin, I hope you know that I've never done this before. I've never been in a relationship. But I won't force you to do something you're uncomfortable with." I finally reach him and I pull him to my chest.

"Kellin, I love you. And I won't force you to have sex. I thought we were over that," and as I say it, he lowers his head in shame. "I'm sorry," he whimpers.

"Don't apologize, you have every reason to be afraid, but I really wish you'd trust me. I would wait forever for you. Hell, we don't have to have sex. If you're never ready, that's fine. But I want to be with you. I don't need a physical relationship to be happy, okay?" He nods and I peck his forehead.

"Good. I love you, Kellin."

"I love you, too, Vic," he says, looking up at me and pecking my cheek.



Since we got home, everything's been great. Austin and I are happy. Phil and Tino are happy. Aaron is happy with Shayley. And Sophie and Nala get along well. Austin wasn't mad at Phil for not telling him where I was since he understood how hurt I was. But everything's been great.

I was currently in the kitchen, cleaning up a mess that Tino had made just as Phil walks in.

"What are you doing?"

"Your boy made a mess and I'm cleaning up after him." He nods and turns to face Tino. But Tino just raises his hands in a careless manner as he responds with, "So, I've just been sitting here."

Austin and him start laughing. "Oh, my God, ugh," I groan. "Why am I even doing this?" But then the stupid cereal falls from the counter and I decide to blame Tino.

"Your boy, why'd you knock down that box?"

But Austin says, "Alan, hand me those lucky charms." And Tino decides to throw a can of nuts at me and I throw them back at him only for them to open and fall everywhere and guess who's going to pick them up. I continue cleaning as I hear Austin and Tino start laughing and complaing. Austin was doing nothing but laughing.

Austin gives a small scream. "Oh, my God," he says, laughing. "Oh, my God. There's nuts everywhere." I hear him say as I start picking up the cereal boxes. Then he starts laughing before speaking again, "Look at Tino's nuts."

"Look at my nuts," I hear Tino respond. Then when I turn to look at him, I see him getting up and wiping at whatever dust powder got on him inbetween his thighs off.

"Your boy," I scream, outstretching my hand at him.

"Those are the goods one," Tino says.

"Dammit, I didn't know," I say, just as Austin says, "Those are the dry roasted ones." I get up and walk to them, cupping the nuts with both my hands. "These ones - I'll still eat these. Someone get a plate. Get a plate."

But all I hear is, "Shove them in your mouth," twice.

"Make yourself useful and get a plate," I snap.

They laugh, but thankfully Phil gets a plate. I place them inside, but not before taking one. We had chilled the whole day, until Phil and Tino left. Phil had been sitting in Tino's lap when he remembered they had to clean their place. So they left and that left Austin and I, but I was washing the dishes. He was playing with Nala I think.

But out of nowhere, someone wraps their arms around me and pulls me to their chest. I sigh in content, but continue on with my work. Austin places his head on my shoulder and pecks my cheek. "I love you, Ashby."

"I love you too, but I've been a Carlile for the past three years."

"Mmm, true. I've just always loved your name."


"Because it was yours."

I begin blushing, "Shut up." But he begins teasing me about it and I decide to change the subject. "We should visit Shay and Aaron."

"Sure, we can congratulate them on being together for being together seven years, today's their wedding anniversary."

"Holy shit, are you serious? I forgot all about that! Come on, let's go congratulate them," I say, pulling on his hand and leaving the house. We walk to theirs, but before I knock, I hear a guitar. "Hey, Alan, why haven't," Austin starts - very loudly, I might add. But I shush him. "What," he says.

"Shut up and listen," I say. I try the knob and cheer internally when it opens. I tiptoe into their house, just as I hear one of them begin singing. We stayed in the hall.

"I keep saying

You're better off in love with him.

Believe me, darling,

I'm the worst one.



Stop pretending,

Like I am the one with all this shame.

I know I'm lucky.

But you need the world, love.






When I was staring at the edge of the world,

I wasn't expecting to meet you.

But you were staring with your star-colored eyes,

As we dived together.

Now how far would you go?

How far?

How far would you go?

How far?





When I was staring at the edge of the world,

I wasn't expecting to meet you.

But you were staring with star-colored eyes,

As we dived together.

How far would you go?

How far?

How far would you go?

How far

Would you go for me?"

And I feel tears building, that was literally the sweetest thing I have ever heard. Apparently, I wasn't the only one because I hear sniffles coming from someone in the living room. "Shay - that was the most amazing song. God, I love you," I hear Aaron say. I didn't know Shay could sing. I peer over the wall and see Aaron in tears. They had set up this whole picnic thing, but inside. And there were rose pedals everywhere, along with candles. Shay was holding a guitar.

"I love you, too, Aaron. And I want you to know that the words to the songs are true. You could do better than me, you do deserve the world, I'm the lucky one, I'm the worst. But you pick me, so I want to know, how far would you go for me?"

Aaron smiles and pulls him in for a kiss to which I look away from. "As far as you want me to, love," he responds when they pull apart. They just stare into each others eyes and I smile at the love shining through them. I turn to Austin, not letting him see my tear-filled eyes, but leaving out through the front door. I close the door quietly behind us. Finally when I look at him, I show my smile. "Alan, what's wrong," he asks, worriedly. And I just shake my head smiling.

"Nothing's wrong, Aust. Just - the song was beautiful, their love for each other is beautiful. You can see it radiating from them. It was beautiful," I say, smiling at letting it out. I take his hand and we walk home. I immediately walk to my cats and begin playing with them, smiling and laughing.



Watching Alan playing with our cats made me realize just how much he deserved more than me. But I want to prove to him that I know I'm not that perfect, but if he stays, then he'll see. I really do love him. I walk up to him and grab his tiny waist in my colossal hands. God, I love how small he is... and how submissive. He looks up and smiles at me. His smile sent fire coarsing through my veins. He's so beautiful.

I lean down and capture his lips in mine. It was a slow, sweet kiss. "I love you," I say, when I pull back. He opens his eyes and stares into mine. "I love you, too," he whispers. I lean down and capture his lips again. I hoist him up and he wraps his legs around my waist. He pulls me closer by my neck and our chest were closer.

I was about to take him upstairs when the phone rings. I groan, but Alan climbs off me and walks to grab the phone. "Hello," he says.

"Oh, hey, Vic." He listens to what Vic says and his expression went from confused to excited. "Of course, yeah. I can't believe the doofus forgot his own birthday." He silences again, letting out a small laugh. "Yeah, we'll be there. Is it okay if we bring others?" He smiles at something Vic says. "Great... alright, bye. See you in a two weeks."


"Kellin's birthday is in a few weeks, but we have to get there a week early to help plan and decorte it."

"Oh. And he's the one who forgot his own birthday?"

"Yep," he says and begins walking upstairs. Our cats follow him, and then I do too. He walks into our room and begins stripping to his underwear and puts on one of my t-shirts. I love my clothes on him because it just shows how tiny he is. The sleeve was falling off his shoulder, exposing the milky pale skin.

He gets into bed, our cats following him. And I begin taking off my clothes, staying in my boxers. I get in beside him and pull him to my chest. He turns so his face is burried in my chest and I dig my face in his ginger hair. "I love you, Alan Anthony Carlile."

"I love you, too, Austin Robert Carlile." I pull him closer and I only fall asleep when I hear his breath even out, hitting the spot right over my heart. I smile, closing my eyes.



The week has finally come, it was my birthday week. Everyone was here and no one would tell me what they were planning. But there was something I wanted to do at my birthday. Except they couldn't ask because everyone was busy coming and going planning my birthday. "Jesse," I call, before he leaves through the front door. He turns to look at me.


"Um, for my birthday, I want to preform two songs. Could tell Vic that with whatever he's planning, if he could include that in somewhere?"

"Of course."

"Wait - and, uh, one more thing. I'm going to need you for both songs and the others for one. Could you ask them?"

"Sure, see you later, Kells."

"Bye." He leaves, carrying two planks of wood. I walk back to the living room and see Cope had made a mess of our DVDs. Really? Millions of toys and she chooses to do that? I pick her up and place her on my hip. I walk into the kitchen and begin making her her formula as the boys walk in. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Liam?"

"Can we go play outside?"

"Yeah. Just make sure to not leave HQ."

"Ok. Thanks, Mom. Love you." And I tense, they've never said they loved me before. And they noticed to because their eyes widen. I walk to them both, just standing there. "I love you both as well," and they latch themselves onto me. I hold them close and peck both their foreheads. We stayed in each other's arm for a while until I pull back, smiling. "Ok. Now go play." They nod and walk out.

I grab Cope's bottle and place her in her space-saver and give her her milk. She grabs it and feeds herself as I begin cleaning up the mess she made. I stop what I'm doing when I hear her cry. I turn to face her and see she had dropped her bottle. I chuckle a bit, but hand it to her and go back to picking up that last few DVD's.

The boys returned a few hours later, and then Alan came. But the others stayed gone. "Hey, Kellin. Let's go to the music room."

"Sure, but let me put Cope to bed," I say, and begin walking up the stairs. I set her in her crib and grab a baby monitor, placing the other on the bedside table beside her. I walk downstairs into the music room where I see Alan already there, playing guitar. The tune was soft and melodic. It didn't need words to sound good. I set the monitor down. And he stops playing.

"That was beautiful, Alan." He turns to me and smiles. "Thanks."

"What's it called?"

"The Calm."

"It was pretty. Now why did you want to come here?"

"I wanted to play music and hear you sing." I chuckle, but nod. "Ok. Let me teach you a song of mine."

"Actually, can we do one of mine?"

"Of course!"

And he spends the next thirty minutes teaching me the lyrics. I smile at the end because I knew who that song was for exactly. "Ready," he asks. I nod. He begins playing and I close my eyes.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.


Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.


I don't mind it,

I don't mind if you're over-rated.

Or if you're staring at the edge of the world.

But keep in mind that I'm a sore eye with blurry vision.

But I can see it has to be you, love,

That I've been dreaming of.

And if we climb this high,

I swear will never die." Then he begins singing with me.

"I don't mind it,

I don't mind if you're over-rated.

Or if you're staring the edge of the world.

Keep in mind that I'm a sore eye with blurry vision.

But I can see it has to be you, love,

That I've been dreaming of.

And if we climb this high,

I swear will never die.

Oh, never die.

Yeah. (Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah).

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Woah- ah.

Woah-ah." He plays for little long before stopping. I open my eyes and see him do the same. We both smile and high-five. "Dude, that was awesome!"

"I know. Let's do another one!"

"Ok. But still one of yours."

"Ok. Let me think of one." He trails, trying to think of one. "Okay. Got one!" He begins teaching me the lyrics of this one as well. I nod when I get them down. And he begins playing.




White walls.

Filled with nothing

But nervous paces

All around I see.

Something's off

Inside of myself.

I see it in their faces." He sings with me.

"Say anything, say anything.

Say anything that could make this oh-okay.

Take it away, take it away.

Take away all of this emptiness I feel,

'Cause I will never find another you.

Another you.

Another you.

I still hear you in this house (whispering).

I still feel you in my bones (in these veins).

And like the portraits in the halls (can't help but think),

I wish you were staring back at me (but you're gone).

Say anything, say anything.

Say anything that could make this oh-okay.

Take it away, take it away.

Take away all of this emptiness I feel,

'Cause I will never find another (I may never find myself).

I will never find another you.

So I'll carry you with me in my dreams, my memory.

So I'll carry you with me (you'll always be with me),

In my dreams, my memory.

So I'll carry you with me, you'll always be my memory.

Say anything, say anything,

Say anything that can make this all okay.

Take it away, take it away.

Take away all of this emptiness I feel

'Cause I will never find another (I may never find myself)

And I will never find another you.

Oooooooh." He sings with me. We smile at each other. Just as I was about to say something, I hear clapping. I look and smile at who I see. "Austin!" I see Alan pale immensely. "Kellin, you excited for tomorrow?"

"You bet. I want to see what Vic has planned already."

"Ah, yes. All I can tell you is that it's going to be big."

"I'm excited," I say, but then I hear the baby monitor. "Oop, got to go," I say, running out of the room, monitor in hand. I run up the stairs into my room, but then I see Vic already had Cope in his arms. I walk up to them, and Vic pecks my lips. "Hey."

"Hi." Cope calmed down and he placed her back in her crib. When he's done with that, he walks back to me. He picks me up and carries me to our bed. "I can't wait for you to see your birthday surprise."

"I can't wait either."

"By the way, Jesse told me about you wanting to preform, and that works out perfectly with what I have planned."

"Can't you give me a hint," I pout.

"That was your hint."

"Jerk," I say, pushing him off of me. He laughs from his spot on the floor and I sneak out of the room. I walk to Liam and Rowan's room and see them sleeping. I walk over to both of them and peck both their foreheads. "I love you, boys," I whisper before walking out of the room. But I feel someone wrap their arms around my waist. I'm thrown over their shoulder and I laugh, quietly.

Vic carries me back to our room. He sets me on the bed and hands me my shirt before turning around. Yeah, I still haven't let him see me naked. I change quickly. Once I'm in the shirt, I fold my clothes neatly and place them in my drawers. Vic begins changinbg anf I keep my head down as I walk to the bed.

I get in under the sheets and let Vic pull me closer to him. My eyes flutter shut and I fall asleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter Nineteen: (I WENT TO THE WORLD TOUR ON 11-15-14!!!!)


Today is the day. Today I am 23. And Vic still won't tell me what my surprise is. Even my kids already know. That jerk. Well, he really wasn't. He had woken me up in such a nice way this morning.

I was still sleeping when I hear someone whispering in my ear, "Honey, sweetie, it's time to get up." I had stirred and groaned, but sat up and stretched only to be attacked by my kids. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!" I groaned a bit and laughed with them. "Thank you, boys." They climb off me and go stand beside Vic who I see had a bunch of balloons in one hand and a breakfast tray in the other.

He walks up to me and places the tray on my lap, setting the balloons at the side of the bed. They all said Happy Birthday in Spanish. "You didn't have to do this," I tell him as he sits on the bed.

"I know," he responds, grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on it. "But I wanted to, and you deserve it." He leans in and places a kiss on my forehead. Then he stands and walks to Cope who was standing up in her crib trying to get to us. She squeals when he picks her up.

"Come on, baby. Tell Mommy happy birthday," he coos at her in a baby voice, but she just giggled. "Thank you, Cope," I tell her, pretending as though she had told me.

"Mom, Dad, can we go play with Uncle Mike and Tony?"

"Yeah, go ahead, boys." They run off, off to find their stupid uncle. I turn to Vic. "Who made the food?"

"I cooked it, but the boys are the ones that poured you the juice and placed the spoon and fork on the tray. They wanted to help, so that's what I made them do," he says, sheepishly. I laugh silently and grab the fork, but not before drinking some of the juice. I cut a piece of the egg off and bite into it.

When I finish, Vic picks up the tray and places it on the desk he has in the room before setting Cope down in her play pen and walking back to me. I was getting out of bed when he picks me up and kisses me. Then he moves my body so that my legs are wrapped around his waist ans my arms at his neck. His hands sneak under my shirt and my breath hitches. He takes of it and moves his tongue into my parted lips.

"Happy Birthday," he breathes into my mouth before pulling back. "Now, go get dressed. I will be taking you to your surprise now." He sets me down and I walk to the drawers before pulling out some shorts and a shirt. I turn to face him and see his back was to me. I change quickly, "Okay, Vic. I'm done."

He turns to face me, but I grab Cope when he takes my hand and leads me down the stairs. "Wait- Vic, Cope's bag - "

"Is already at the surprise. Alan has it." I nod. And that's where we are now. He had taken Cope from me and put a blindfold over my eyes. Now I was nervous. I hear a door opening and closing and Vic finally removes the blindfold. I squint my eyes at how dark it was until the lights blast on and everyone is screaming, "SURPRISE!" I jump back in shock before bursting out laughing.

Looking around, I see a stage. It was medium sized, but big enough to fit a few dozen people. Then there was a table full of presents that reached the roof. There was another table full of food. The whole thing was decorated in balloons and string, and a happy birthday sign. It looked great.

"Thank you, guys."

Vic takes my hand and begins leading me deeper into the pit of people. I run up to Jesse and launch myself at him. "I can't you all helped Vic do this."

"Of course."

"And the stage?"

"That was Vic's idea, and then you said you wanted to preform, so it worked out perfectly. Plus, Vic is suppose to annoucne to everyone that if they want to preform, they can." He gives Vic a pointed look, and then Vic realizes what he meant. He runs onto the stage and turns on the microphone.

"Everyone," his voice rings through. "I forgot to mention, but if you want to preform, you can. There are instruments up here, the microphone. Go for it. The Birthday Boy will also be preforming something for us." Everyone cheers, and I blush.

Then I see Austin and couple others go up, but not Alan. Hmmm. "Hey, guys. As most of you know, this Tino," he points to the guy at the drums. "Phil," he points to a guy with a guitar. "Shay," he points to the guy with a bass and who was at the microphone. "And Aaron," he points to the last guy with another guitar.

"They're about to help me preform a song for someone special," and he locks eyes with someone in the crowd. I turn to look who it is - Alan. Shay begins singing just as they all begin playing.

"Friend of mine,
I've tried,
A revolution.
Everyone screaming,
'It's not fair!'"

And Austin joins in screaming and Holy shit, it was amazing.

"'It's not fair!
(It's not fair!)
It's not fair.'"

Then they go into a guitar solo and it was just incredible. The whole band was alive up and dancing, and moving. I was in awe.

"I'll play the Romeo,
You play the Juliet.
The sun won't set,
Until you appear.
'Cause I know you are the one,
My love,
My love.

What light through this window breaks?
So bright, so bright.
My life just for one more day.
So bright, you're so bright."

Jesus Christ, Austin was great. And Shay had a beautiful voice.

Fall fast (Fall Fast), the course of love never did run smooth.
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
I'll try,
I'll try to sleep on my own tonight.
(Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah)
We will meet in the moonlight.
Meet in the moonlight.
We will meet in the moonlight.
Meet in the moon - LIGHT!

This is not pretend.
Don't play the end.
I know you're real,
Not just a book I read.
I will show you how heart can never fail,
Never change.
(I'll never change 3x)

If music be the food of love,
Play on,
Play on.
If music be the food of love,
Play on.
Play on."

Austin's screams were incredible. He could hold them for a long time without his voice cracking. And the ending was amazing. The guitar solo was great. The crowd went wild, people were roaring, jumping up and down. They sure knew how to riot a crowd. But they were great. The lyrics were great.

I see Alan run up to the stange and jump into Austin's arms, kissing him full on the mouth. They pull back and Austin moves to the mic. "That song was called This One's For You. How about another?" We all cheer. They chuckle. They begin discussing until they hand Alan a guitar.

"Alright. This song is called Ben Threw. We might have played it before, but this one's called Ben Threw." They begin playing. And Alan and Phil were just rocking out.

"Loose lips sink ships,
So I'll keep silent.
Suggest your words stay in your mouth.
It's never ending,
The cycles ascending,
People keep asking,
I'm not here.

I don't really think that you've ever walked
A mile in my shoes.
I don't really think that you know what
I've been through.
What I've been through.

All your life,
I wish you would have learned to swallow your pride.

And stop preaching,
I know what you're thinking,
You're so far above me,
In your mind.

All the power and glory forever,
We share this together,
I will never,
I will remember what I've become."

Austin was amazing on this. Especially on the last line.

"I'm finding out,
The only thing left to lose is time.
With all these doubts,
The worst parts behind me."

Shayley begins singing and Aaron joins in. They sounded beautiful together.

"Don't forgive me, please,
I don't want this.

Only when I'm back at home, I will,
Only when I'm back at home, I will,
Don't forgive me, I'll forget you,
Write this on the wall.

You don't know what I've been through,
I've been through,
I've been through,
I've been through."

The crowd went wild and looking at Cope in Vic's arms, she seemed to be enjoying it. I walk to Jesse. "I think I want to go on next."

"Sure, I'll the others, what songs?" And I whisper it in his ear.

"Yeah, alright. I'll teach it to them while Austin does his last song." I nod. I see Jesse walk up the stage and whisper something in Austin's ear who nods. Then Jesse walks back down to me. "Done. I'll go teach the guys the songs." I nod, smiling.

"I've just been informed we have to preform one more song, then it's a certain someone's turn." The crowd cheers. They again discuss something until they all go back to their instruments. And they begin.

"We'll bring you to your knees,
You can not see something you can not please.
We'll bring you to your knees,
You can not see something you can not please.

I met a girl with predictable ways.
Open doors, yeah she's here to stay.
Come clean, just open your mind.
Shut those legs, girl, it's closing time.

Oh faithful, I'm amazed to find you look that way.
Oh faithful, put away the pills,
Come waste away with me."

Shay begins singing and I swear he is a much better singer than I am. His voice is just so undescribable.

"You see these hospital walls are full
From the bodies of all the dead.
It's spreading around the room,
Just like it wants to be fed.

Bloody hands stop beating hearts.
Bloody hands stop beating hearts.


Bloody hands!

We'll bring you to your knees,
How can you be something you can not see?
We'll bring you to your knees,
How can you see something you can not please?

Block out the sun,
Blot out your eyes,
Pray for the ones you love.
The sun,
Runs from the sky,
Beg for your life,
Pray for the ones you love.

Block out the sun,
We'll block out your eyes,
Pray for daylight.
Your time has come,
This is the get off,
I can't give up now.

Oh faithful, I'm amazed to find you look that way.
Oh faithful, put away the pills,
Come waste away with me.
Oh faithful, I'm amazed to find you look that way.
Oh faithful, put away the pills,
Come waste away with me.

Come waste away with me!
It's all in your head."

The screaming took a different turn and it just - they blew me away. They knew real music.

"It's all in your head.
If you see it.
Just close those blue eyes,
Like you mean it."

I clap along with the audience as they all take a bow. "Okay, it's the birthday boy's turn. Come on up, Kellin!" I blush, but make my way along with Jesse, Justin, Jack, and Gabe. We form small huddle. "Everyone knows what they're doing?" They all nod.

"Jesse, you remember your lines, right?"


"Okay, then. Let's do this."

We all go to our designated areas and I stare out into the crowd. I see Vic with Cope and then I see the boys playing with Mike and Tony. I see Austin and Alan with their friends. I see Jaime looking up at Jesse. Oh, my Gosh! Jesse is going to ask out Jaime today! I smile and they begin to play just as Jesse begins to scream.

Tell me how,
Has it taken so long for me to open up my eyes?
I see through you now,
I won't fall for,
The things you've said before.

How has it taken so long for me to finally realize,
I'm on my team,
I won't run away,
Back-back to-to believe.

And when they all turn against you,
You better be prepared to fight.

They say I'm a sinner,
But nobody knows.
You only do what you're told.
You better hope that you're right.
They say I'm a sinner,
I'm not the only one.
You want to point your finger,
You better make a choice tonight.
'Cause I'll stand up,
For what is right.

Has such a bitter person become the man I am?
You're tearing my heart out!
Don't leave me to die!
Tell me how,
How am I to change to when I'm still trying to figure out how (how to save a life) how to be saved?
(Save me, so save me)

And when they all turn against you,
Try not to look the other way.

They say I'm a sinner,
But nobody knows.
You only do what you're told.
You better hope that you're right.
They say I'm a sinner,
I'm not the only one.
You want to point your finger,
You better make a choice tonight.
'Cause I'll stand up,
For what is right.

You better choose your side,
Make your choice tonight.
You better draw the line right now,
Between wrong and right.
I am a sinner,
I'll never be a martyr.
You stand up for what's right.

They say I'm a sinner,
But nobody knows.
You only do what you're told.
You better hope that you're right.
They say I'm a sinner,
I'm not the only one.
You want to point your finger,
You better make a choice tonight.
'Cause I'll stand up,
For what is right.

All my life,
I've been the person I am.
Who are you to try and judge?"

I hear the crowd cheering, but when I look out, all I see is Vic and my children. And they were smiling up at me. That was all I needed.

"How would you guys feel about another?" They cheer. I look to Jesse and he nods. "Okay, this one's for my sons." I smile at them. Then Sleeping with Sirens begins to play.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

I know that hope weighs on your mind.
Lost within the seems.
It seems like we lose ourselves inbetween.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
But the harder things become,
The harder you push away.
Oh and, baby, yeah, baby.
It kills me!

You said it,
You said it.
I'll take you at your word.
Promises that you can't keep,
It's getting harder to hold on.
You said it,
You said it,
Don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing.

You haven't lost.

In time we'll find that we can sober up.
Clean up any dirt so we can open up.
These wounds have been open for forever now.
Come on, (Come on!)
Be strong. (Be strong!)
Your mind has gotten the best of you,
You've done enough.
And you are enough.
Let's fall asleep tonight,
I'll hold you close and show you you're not broken! (Broken!)."

I look out to my boys, and sing them that line only to find them crying and smiling up at me.

"You said it,
You said it.
I'll take you at your word.
Promises that you can't keep.
It's getting harder to hold on.
You said it,
You said it,
Don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing.
(Losing, losing, losing!)

Hold on,
Hold on, (Hold on)
Hold on, (Just hold on!)
Hold on,
Hold on.

Don't you think,
If it's meant to be,
It will be?
Don't you think,
This will work out eventually (eventually)?
Hold on!

You said it,
You said it.
I'll take you at your word.
Promises that you can't keep.
It's getting harder to hold on (hold on!)
You said it,
You said it,
Don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing.

You said it,
You said it.
I'll take you at your word.
Promises that you can't keep.
It's getting harder to hold on.
You said it,
You said it,
Don't ever let me fall.
Don't give up because you're losing.
(Losing, losing, losing, losing, losing)."

By the end, I was panting, and out of breath. I hear the crowd cheering, I didn't care. But that didn't stop the boys froming running up to me and hugging me close. I do the same. "I love you, boys."

"We love you, too, Mom."

"Good, now go find your father, I'm about to get your Uncle Jesse a boyfriend." They nod, and peck their foreheads before they wander off.

"Okay, this next song I will be singing for my dear friend, Jesse, to his love interest. They should know who they are." The crowds Oo's and I laugh before starting.

"Just open up,
Like a page in a book.
These words that I'm writing won't be misunderstood.
If I'm dishonest,
Bring me back to my knees.
Show me why I'm even able to speak.
I'll testify,
Please help me to see.
Don't close your eyes,
Keep your eyes on me.
Open up,
Open up now.
So make me strong.

There's blood on my hands,
And the killers not my enemy.
It's all for the sake of love,
It's all for you.

When all we know is falling,
I'll save something for you,
You who are all alone,
(All alone).
When everything is beautiful,
When everything's okay,
Even if it's not okay,
I'll say it's all for you,
For you,
For you,
For you, (for you!)
For you, (for you!)
For you and only you (only you).

These hands hold up nothing,
But scars underneath (scars underneath).
From swimming these oceans and learning to breathe (learning to breathe).
So often I tell them,
So often they listen to me.
So make me strong.

There's blood on my hands,
And the killers not my enemy.
It's all for the sake of love,
It's all for you.

When all we know is falling,
I'll save something for you,
You who are all alone,
(All alone).
When everything is beautiful,
When everything's okay.
Even if it's not okay,
I'll say it's all for you.
For you,
For you,
For you,
For you, (for you!)
For you, (for you!)
For you and only you.

I can tell it in my fingertips.
I can feel!
And I can taste it in the air,
And I'm hoping there's someway I can follow!
I know somehow there's something new,
I see it so clearly.

I can feel your hands on my fingertips.
I'm seeing oh so clear.
I know it's for you,
I see it so clear.
(It's all for you).

When all we know is falling,
I'll save something for you,
You who are all alone,
(All alone).
When everything is beautiful,
When everything's okay,
Even if it's not okay,
I'll say it's all for you
For you, for you."

I smile at the crowd, sweaty and gross, but oh so alive. I look for Jaime who was blushing in the crowd. "Jaime! Come on up here!" He starts walking up here slowly. He reaches the stairs and I run to him, pulling him up and faster towards Jesse. I look to Jesse pointedly. He sighs, but takes Jaime's hands in his and Jack begins playing the chorus to Scene One. I begin singing.

"They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay, please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken,
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever with me."

I sang that repeatedly and quietly so that Jaime could hear Jesse.

"Look, Jaime. I know we don't know each other that well, but I really want to give us a chance. I like you a lot, and I know that it can grow to love. And with the distance thing - I can move my base somewhere in Mexico here for you, or you can move up north with me. I just know that as long as you're here with me, I know I'll be okay."

I feel tears forming and when Jaime nods, they fall freely. Jesse leans down just as Jaime leans up and they kiss. I start clapping, stopping my singing. They break apart and I turn to the crowd. "How was that, guys?"

Cheering. "Now, do you want one last song?" More cheering. I nod and walk to the guys. "Which song do you guys want do to?"

"Let's just finish Scene One and we'll do other songs later," Justin says. I nod. "That works. Are you all going to be playing guitar?"

"Nah, just Jesse will be up here with you." I nod.

"Alright." They all put back their instruments. I grab a stool and place it near the microphone and grab another one and place beside the stool for Jesse. I grab another microphone stand. Jesse had gotten an acoustic guitar and he takes a seat. "Alright guys, I want everyone to grab a partner and start dancing. This one is for Vic and now Jaime. Enjoy." Jesee begins strumming the guitar.

"Stay for tonight.
If you want to,
I can show you
What my dreams are made of
As dreaming of your face.
I've been away for a long time,
Such a long time.
And I miss you there.
I can't imagine being anywhere else,
I can't imagine being anywhere else, but here.

How the hell did you ever pick me?
Honestly, 'cause I can sing you a song.
But I don't think words can express your beauty.
It's singing to me.
How the hell did we end up like this?
You bring out the beast in me.
I fell in love from the moment we kissed.
Since then,
We've been history.

They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken,
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever with me.

If you want to,
I can show you.
If you want to,
I can show you.

It goes to show,
I hope that you know that you are
What my dreams are made of.
And I can't fall asleep,
I lay in my bed,
Awake at night.
And I'll fall in love.
You'll fall in love.
It could mean everything.
Everything to me.
Ooh, ooh.
This could mean everything to me.

They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken,
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever...

The way that we are
Is the reason I stay.
As long as you're here with me,
I know I'll be okay.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Oh, oh.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, da, da.
Oh, oh.

They say that love is forever,
Your forever is all that I need.
Please stay, please stay as long as you need.
Can't promise that things won't be broken,
But I swear that I will never leave.
Please stay forever with me."

Jesse brings the microphone closer to him. He was going to have to start singing with me.

(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are [that you are] what my dreams are made of [dreams are made of].)
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are, that you are.)
Please stay, please stay as long as you need.
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are what my dreams are made of.)
They say that love is forever,
You forever is all that I need.
(It goes to show, I hope that you know that you are, that you are.)
(They say that love is forever.)
Please stay forever with me."

The crowd stops dancing and they begin to clap. Jesse and I walk off stage. Vic meets me half way and smiles at me. "You were great!"

"Thank you." He pecks my forehead, and I take Cope from him. "Vic, I'm going to go talk to Austin and Alan?"

"Alright. I'll come find you later, I need to set up the DJ." I nod and walk off to find Austin and or Alan. Luckily, they found me. "Kellin!"

"Alan!" He runs to hug me.

"Happy Birthday."

"Thank you. Now where's Austin and the rest?"

"Over here, follow me." And I do. Finally reaching them, I see they were all holding hands with someone. "Hello, you must be Kellin. Happy Birthday."

"You're... Shay? Right?"

"Yep. That's me. Killer voice by the way. I think you may be better than me."

"What? No way. Your voice is amazing! I could listen to you sing all day."

"Well, thank you."

"You're welcome, I hope you sing more today. I bet even your humming is great."

"Thank you, but high notes are way better than mine."

"I refuse to believe so. And, Austin, you can sure scream. You were incredible!"

"Aw, thanks, Kellin."

I stay with them for a while, just talking. Vic having turned on the music long ago. And we talked until it was time to cut the cake. Alan dragged me over to the table and they set the cake in front of me, handing me a knife. I set it down until they were all ready and I took the time to grab frosting with my finger and feeding it to Cope who sucked happily.

They were finally ready and I began cutting it into pieces as they all cheered and took videos and pictures. I made sure everyone had a piece before getting one myself. Jesse and Vic helped me pass it around. And I finally sat down with Cope in my arms as I fed her some of my cake.

Vic sat beside me and took Cope to change her diaper. I swayed my body to the music which had turned out to be rap which I don't like, but this particular song was actually really good. I feel someone grab my hips roughly and I gasp at the harsh movement. I haven't been treated like this in forever. I turn my head to look at who it was but they moved from my line of vision. Then they whispered in my ear, and my blood ran cold.

"Happy Birthday, Kellin." Then he was gone. I turn around to see if I could spot him, but I didn't. Someone taps my shoulder and I jump. "Woah, sorry, Kellin."

"It's okay, Vic. Just lost in thought."

"Well, come on. Austin's playing again."

I turn to the stage and see they were setting up. When they finish, Austin and Shay walk to the microphones. Shay begins humming, and I was right. Even his hums were beautiful.

"I hope you know,
I swear,
I've never done this before,
And I care,
I'm so sorry.
Scarred you for life.
Please come back to me,
Down on my knees.
Repeating apologies.

Why do I deny the heart that's grown colder?
Too quick to criticize the lullaby.
Why do I deny the heart that's grown colder?
Too quick to criticize.

Sweet serenity, (I wish you sweet serenity!)
Sweet serenity, (Sweet serenity!)

Back on the mistakes I've made,
Please come home to me,
I'll show you truth,
I'm all for you,
I'll hold your hand.
Ease your mind,
Yeah we'll be okay.
Repeating apologies.

Why do I deny....?

Stay here with me,
Let what I am,
Let it speak more,
More than words.
They can't compete with,
It's always been you and me.

Why do I deny the heart that's grown colder?
Too quick to criticize the lullaby.
Why do I deny the heart that's grown colder?
Too quick to criticize.

Sweet serenity, (I wish you sweet serenity!)
Sweet serenity, (Sweet serenity!)."

They stop to let Shay hum again before he begins singing.

"I hope you know,
I hope you know,
I've never done this before,
Done this before,
And I,
I hope you know,
I hope you know,
Baby, you're not alone.
You're not alone.
(You've ruined me!)

I hope you know,
I swear I've never done this before.
And I care,
I bet you're sorry you've lied to my face.
All these words that I say are the things
That I wanted to hear from you to me."

I clap for them and then I see something I never thought I would. Vic was going up there with Jaime, Tony, and Mike. They all walk to a certain instrument.

"Okay. I don't usually sing, but I know it makes Kellin happy. Kellin, you're my only exception," he says. And I laugh. He smiles and begins strumming his guitar.

"I changed your mind,
And ended up here.
Through stained glass eyes,
And colorful tears.

Maybe I'll pretend right now,
But I swear to God,
I'm going to change the world.
I promise you someday we'll tell ourselves,
'Oh, my God, this is paradise.'

I cherish my,
American girl.
She holds them down,
While I destroy the world.
Oh, oh, oh.
My desperate cries.
She don't seem to care.
Oh, yeah.
She bites her tongue,
So that we can tell each other.
'Baby, this is paradise,
And it's so god damn good.
Now we live like we should.'

Maybe I'll pretend right now,
But I swear to God,
I'm going to change the world.
I promise you someday we'll tell ourselves,
'Oh, my God, this is paradise.'

Maybe I'll pretend right now,
But I swear to God,
I'm going to change the world.
I promise you someday we'll tell ourselves,
'Oh, my God, this is paradise.'"

The ending part with the guitar was amazing, it made me fall in love with the song. I cheer for them and I see Vic grab Cope from his mom. I walk over to them.


"Kellin," she says, pulling me close. "How's your birthday been?"

"Great! I really love what Vic did with the stage and all."

"I'm glad. Now, how's the food?"

I chuckle, "It's great, Viv. Your cooking is incredible as always."

She laughs. "You're too kind." I smile down at her. And the rest of the night went by uneventful. Everyone packed up and left. Those who ddin't live here, got a guest room. They helped carry all my presents in that I wasn't going to open until tomorrow because I was beat.

I lay a sleeping Cope down in her crib. Then Vic walks in after having placed the boys to bed. I was already changed and as I waited for him to finish showering and changing, I went out to the patio and I saw him. I tense and run inside. I grab my journal and begin writing hurriedly.

By the time I was finished, Vic was done as well. I blush as he drops his towel and look away. But I feel his fingers grab my chin and he turns my had to face him. He connects our lips and leans down so my back touches the bed. I cup his cheek while my other hand was on his shoulder.

One of his hands travel under my shirt. I shiver. I pull away and just stare up at him. "Thank you, for today. It was the best birthday I've had, well until he showed up," I mumble the last part, but Vic heard.


"No one," I say too quickly.

"Kellin," he says in a stern tone and I sigh.

"I saw my uncle," and his breath hitches. I finally let myself break down and I clutch to him.

"Vic, I'm so scared. I'm just so scared." He switches positions so I'm on his lap and he rubs my back.

"Shhh, don't be scared." I cry silently into his shoulder. He picks my head up and makes me stare at him. "Don't let the world bring you down, Kellin. You're not alone anymore. You're with me. I'll protect you. I promise. I will kill him before he even gets the chance to even touch you. Okay?"

I nod. "Good, now let's go to bed."



"Lay me down and tell me things will be alright."

"Things will be alright." And I let myself fall asleep in his strong and safe hold.

Chapter Text

"Mom? Mom?" I faintly hear. I raise my head slowly, but it was pounding. Raising my head, I realized I didn't know where I was. I begin looking around and realize this place looked familiar. This was my old bedroom in my old house. I look to where the voice was coming from and I feel my heart break.

"Rowan?! Liam?!" I try getting to them, but something was holding me back - I was chained to the wall. I look at my boys helplessly.

"Mom, wh-where are we?"

"I-I - my old house, baby."

Before they could respond, I hear crying. And I feel myself pale immensely as I knew who's cry that was. "Cope?!" I see him enter with my baby girl who was crying in his arms. "Cope, Cope, baby." She looks to me and starts making grabby hands.

"Mamamama." My uncle shakes her roughly.

"Don't hurt her!"

"Well, if she would just shut up, I wouldn't have to hit her." And that's when I see the bruise on her small cheek.

"You bastard!" He glares and smacks her again making her cry out. "No!" I yell helplessly. "Leave her alone." I cry at seeing her in pain. I hear him laugh. "You sick bastard!"

"Ha! That's exactly what you're husband said." Husband? I'm not married, all I have is a - Oh!

"You have Vic?!"

"Yeah, and I hit the little brat in front of him too, he yelled out the same things you did."

"Mom. I'm scared." Liam, bless his heart.

"D-Don't be, baby. Things will be alright." My uncle chuckles again. He walks to Liam and kicks him in the gut. "No! Stop, please!"

"Ha! Watch as I beat up your precious husband!" Then Vic appears out of nowhere. And my uncle starts beating him and beating and beating. "Watch, Kellin! Kellin!



I sit up violently and see Vic at my side. I wrap my arms around him and pull him close. I don't care how sweaty or gross I was right now, I needed the comfort. I feel myself shivering and tears gather in my eyes. "Baby, what happened," he asked me softly, wrapping his arms around me.

"It - It was horrible, Vic. He had hit Cope, and the boys, and he was beating you up. And just because he wants me to suffer. I'm scared, I'm so scared and not for me, but for you. What if - What if he hurts any of you?"

"Hey, hey. Shh, shh. Don't speak like that. That's not going to happen, 'kay? Don't let your heart be broken. You don't have to be alone."

"I-I - okay."

"Good, now. I'd offer a bath for you to relax, but it's late and you don't like me seeing you naked - "

"No, no. A bath sounds wonderful." He looked shocked, but smiled. "I'll start filling the tub, you stay here." I nod. He walks into the bathroom and I get out of bed and walk to Cope's crib. I stroke her cheek gently. "Oh, Cope. I love you so much. I won't let anything happen to you or the boys. I don't care if that means I have to die. I just don't want any of you getting hurt." I lean down and peck her forehead.

Then I feel someone wrap their arms around me and from the gentle touch, I know who it is. "Come on, bath's almost ready." I nod against him and he picks me up carrying me into our bathroom. He stands me up on the floor and begins taking off my shirt. I was left in my underwear and I feel a light blush form onto my cheeks.

But he didn't even care as he pulled them down. He didn't tease, or stare. He just pecked my lips and carried me into the tub. He sets me down gently into the warm water and then he begins taking off his underwear since that's all he fell asleep in and I look away. I feel and hear him get in behind me and he wraps his arms around me, pulling me close.

We just sat there in the hot water, the water relaxing me instantly. "You're not going to die," his voice pierces through. I turn my head and my body a bit to look at him confusedly.

"I heard what you said to Cope, and none of you are going to get hurt. I've sent some of my men out to find him already. They'll have him before he can even get to you." My eyes widen.

"I - Thank you."

"You don't need to thank me, Kellin. I would do this and more for you and our kids. You all are my life." And he leans down to kiss me. I kiss back immediately. He brings one hand to my cheek and another to my hip. Then he pulls back and lifts me up and turns my body so that I'm facing him. He begins kissing me again and I kiss back, bringing my hands to his strong shoulders, letting one slide down to his bicep.

He slides his tongue against my bottom lip and I open my mouth, giving him access. His tongue slides into my mouth and mine peaks out bashfully, meeting with his confident one. I let a small moan escape my throat, only to pull away, blushing shyly. "I - I'm sorry. I just - I've - "

"Shh, Kellin. It's okay. Come on, we should be going back to bed. You feel better?"

"Much. Thank you." He gets out, wrapping himself in a towel and then he hands me one and I do the same. I put on my underwear and shirt, him doing the same. And he carries me back to our bed, laying me down, getting in beside me. He holds his head in one hand and the other was on my abdomen. "You deserve much more." And I blush.

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do. Kellin, you deserve so much more than the world can offer. I can't give you everything, but I'll give until I'm all gone because you deserve much more."



"Lay me down and tell me everything will be alright."

"Things will be alright," he says. "Let's go to sleep." And I do, again, in his warm and safe arms.


"I love you, Kellin."

"I love you, Vic," I say from my place in Vic's embrace. When we had woken up this morning, I just clutched onto Vic, willing his warm touch to scare away my demons. And for the most part, it was working. I felt safe in Vic's arms. He pecked my forehead.

"You know we're going to have to move when the kids wake up."

"Shh, I know, just hold me until then." He chuckles softly, but tightens his grip on me. His arms were around my waist and my back was to his chest. His legs were on either side of me and a blanket was encasing us. I sigh in content.

He begins rubbing small circles into my hip bones, and I hum. "That feels wonderful." He places his face in my neck, and we just stay like that. That is until someone bursts into the room, and it wasn't my sons. "Did you finally lose your virginity?!"

I roll my eyes. "No, Jesse. I'm still a virgin." He pouts. "Why not? I would have thought you'd lose it by now. Come on, Kells. You're a 23 year old virgin."

I sigh. "Jesse, I will lose it when I'm ready."

"Fine. Anyway, just want you to know that everyone is up, Alan, Phil, Tony, and Jaime have started breakfast. The boys are watching tv, we made sure they brushed first. Austin is watching them. Justin, Gabe, and Jack are still sleeping, I'm going to wake them up next. Shay, Aaron, Phil, and Tino are with Austin and the boys. Oh, and Mike says he needs to talk to Vic about someone they're after." And I frown knowing who it was about.

"Alright, thank you, Jesse. You can leave now," Vic says, trying to be civil. Jesse rolls his eyes, but leaves. I turn my head to look at Vic, "I guess it's time to get up."

"Ugh, but I don't want to let you go." I chuckle, but move out of his grip and begin putting on some shorts and changing into one of Vic's t-shirts. I walk to the bathroom and brush my teeth before moving to Cope's crib and seeing as she was still asleep, I place the baby monitor beside her. I didn't want to bother her.

Vic comes up behind me and places a kiss on my neck. Then we begin walking down the stairs. We see everyone at the table, helping out, or in the living room watching tv with Liam and Rowan. I walk into the kitchen to see Alan, Tony, Phil, and Jaime hastily trying to cook for a full house, until they see me at least. "Kellin! Thank God! We need you to pull out the biscuits from the oven and begin placing the egg, ham, and cheese into them."

I do as Alan said and begin doing that as I see he was making a stack of pancakes. I use all twenty biscuits and begin placing one on each plate, the extras I placed in the middle of the table. I then ran into the fridge and then began pouring juice into all the cups on the table.

I walk back into the kitchen to see Alan finishing the last pancake and I take the plate full of them to the table, placing it beside the plate of extra biscuits. I walk back into the kitchen again and see the plate of bacon Tony was working on, taking that to the table as well. They were both panting by the end, but smiling. I call out to everyone to come eat, placing my baby monitor beside my plate.

Everyone begins grabbing food after Rowan and Liam did, and I waited until everyone had some before grabbing some myself. Everyone was chatting animatedly, and I just made small talk with Alan. But Vic and Mike weren't here. Everything was calm. That is until Cope's crying pierces through the monitor. I excuse myself and walk out of the kitchen only to see Vic and Mike in the living room.

Then Vic freezes, "Something's wrong." He shoots up from the couch he was on with Mike and runs up stairs. I follow after him.

He burst into our room and I follow only to see my baby standing up in her crib. Once she sees me, she makes grabby hands and I do as she wishes. She clutches onto my neck and I feel her trembling. I see Vic looking around and I see him tense when he looks at our open balcony window.

"Oh, my God. He was here."

Vic looks at me and nods. "What's wrong with Cope," he asks, walking over to us.

"I-I don't know. She seemed spooked. He must have scared her." His eyes harden and I hum softly to calm Cope down. "Have you talked to Mike," I ask him. "Not yet. I might do it now." He walks back into the living room and appears with Mike. "We're going to my study."

"Can I come?"

He nods and follow them with Cope in my arm. She had calmed a bit, but she was still clutching my neck. Vic holds the door open for me and I smile at him. I take a seat on one of the couches. I remove her arms from around me softly to which she whines about, but I hand her her bottle instead and she holds it happily. I coo at her and then look up at Mike and Vic. Mike was chuckling softly and Vic had a small smile, a look of adoration plastered on his face. "Well," I trail off.

"Oh, right! We lost him."

"What?!" And I feel Cope jump, the bottle leaving her lips. I bring it back to her lips before turning to Vic. "Vic," I say softly. "You're scaring Cope." He turns to look at me and sighs, nodding.

"Where did you lose him?"

"He left our lands. And that's the last anyone's seen him." Vic runs a hand through his hair. "Okay, okay. Stop searching, but I want men up all around until he is found and in my custody. Have two at each gate." Mike nods and sends me a smile before leaving. I wave before getting up.

I walk to Vic and place a hand on his arm, "Vic, it'll be okay."

"I know it will, but I don't know how it'll be after I get him." I move to stand in front of him.

"What do you mean?"

"Kellin, I have done so many horrible things in the past that I don't regret. And I'm scared as to how you will look at me when I get your uncle."

"Vic, I love you. I may not agree with what you do, but me loving you means that I will tolerate it. It's a part of you, same way my uncle is a part of me. I know you've done horrible, terrible things, and that's okay because who we were will make us who we are today. It's good - everything works out the way it should."

He wraps his arms around my waist and pecks my lips. "God, I love you."

I blush, but chuckle. "That's good because I've got you going up, down and around again."

He pulls back and leans down to kiss Cope's forehead, but she drops her bottle and makes a grab for his hair. I laugh as he takes her in his arms and gently takes her pried hands off his hair. He places her on his hip and I pick up her bottle.

We walk downstairs and Vic places her on the floor to walk around which she does enthusiastically while everyone just coos at her. Shayley tries catching her, but she runs away - well tries since she only has her baby legs, but Shayley lets her get away - giggling and shrieking. When he does "manage" to catch her, he picks her up high and pecks her cheek causing her to shriek happily.

I chuckle, but turn to Vic. "I'm going out for a walk, watch Cope?"


"Great." I peck his cheek and get up walking to the front door, putting on my shoes. I wave bye to everyone before leaving. Looking out, I see the sky was cloudy and I set my mouth in a straight line. I really hope it doesn't rain while I'm out.

I would have usually gone out of HQ, but with my uncle out there - I just couldn't. I walk around the fence, seeing just how big HQ was. On the other side of HQ is when it starts raining. "Shit," I hiss and begin running back to my house.

I lean against the fence, catching my breath. When I look up, I see him on the other side and I back away. He had his signature smirk and I feel tears building up. Then lightning strikes and he disappears. I begin running again, my tears making it hard to see. But I reach home and I run inside, a sob escapes.

"Kellin, what's wrong?" I hear someone ask, I think it was Vic.

"I-I s-saw him. I saw him." I think actually seeing him brought back memories. I clench my eyes shut and pull my knees close. I can't do this. I can't do this. Someone touches my shoulder and I jump away. "D-Don't touch me, please."

"Mama," I see Liam and I run to him, pulling him close. "Liam, go play with Austin, Alan and the others. I need to talk to your mother." He looks at his dad and nods reluctantly. "Kellin, baby, let's go to our room, okay?" I nod hesitantly and begin walking up the stairs.

We enter our room and I was still shaking from the fear and partially from the cold. And I let out a sneeze. Then another, and another, and another. Vic rushes to my side. He feels my forehead before frowning. "Oh, baby, I think you're sick." And I groan. "Ugh, no. I hate being sick." He chuckles and leads me to the bed.

He leaves me standing and walks to his drawers only to pull some of the warmest looking clothes I've seen. He lays them on the bed and begins pulling me to the bathroom. He turns on the bath with hot water. "Okay, once it's full, get in and bathe. Call me when you're done and I'll bring the clothes. Okay?"

"Okay," I mumble and he pecks my forehead walking out. I do as he says with sneezing and coughing slowing me down. I manage to finish and I call Vic, my voice cracking. Oh, God, I sound like a fourteen year old that just hit puberty. He walks in and hands me the clothes helping me change into the them.

Once we finish, he lays me in bed and covers me up in blankets. He touches my forehead and frowns. "You're temperature's rising. I'll get some soup and a wet cloth. For now, you just rest." He locks all the windows and pulls the blinds down. He places the baby monitor right beside me. And I knew why.

He walks out of our bedroom and I fall asleep, shivering a bit.



"Hey, Alan, Kellin's sick, could you make him so soup," I ask Alan who was currently holding Cope in his lap while sitting in Austin's lap. "Yeah, of course." He hands Cope to his husband and leaves the living room. Then Jesse comes up to me and I scowl.

"Wait - did you say Kellin was sick?" I nod and he winces, confusing me.

"Ooh, you're in trouble. The thing with Kellin is that he doesn't get sick a lot, but when does, it's horrible. I'm surprised he hasn't died yet," and I glare at him. He coughs awkwardly. "Anyway, try not to leave his side too much because it gets bad. Once, he couldn't leave the bathroom with how much he was throwing up. Or another where he missed a whole month of school due to a fever that wouldn't break."

"Thank you for telling me."

And he smiles. "Anytime."

"Hey, Vic, Of Mice will be leaving tomorrow. Call us when you need us." I nod. "Alright, Austin."

"So are we, actually. But remember what I said," Jesse says and I nod. Alan finishes the soup and and carry it up stairs only to see Kellin trying to get out of bed. I rush to his side, setting the soup on the bedside table. "Just what do you think you are doing," I ask him.

"I need to get up," and his voice was already sounding stuffy.

"No, you need to stay in bed."

"But - "

"No, you are not leaving this bed." He sighs and allows me to place him back in bed. I sit beside him, helping him sit up a bit before grabbing the bowl of soup. I grab a spoon and blow on it before bringing it to his lips. He swallows tentatively.

He finally finishes the soup and I let him sleep. Right before I leave the room, I hear a soft voice call my name. I walk back to Kellin. "Yes, baby," I ask him, softly, cupping his warm cheek.

"Were you honest when you said I could never leave the bed?"

"Oh, baby, of course I was." He pouts, but lays back down, and he goes into a fit of coughing. I pat his back gently and grab him a glass of water. He swallows and his breathing calms down a bit. He goes to sleep and I walk out quietly making sure the windows are all locked with the blinds closed and the curtains down. No one should be able to see Kellin, especially not his uncle.

I walk down stairs and the boys tackle me down. "Dad, what happened to Mom? Why was he crying?" Liam asks.

I sigh and push them off me gently before standing and pulling them into my study. "Well, you see, guys, your mom has gone through a lot of awful things like you both, and the person who hurt him has found him. That's why he was crying."

They frowned and fear showed through their eyes. "But you'll protect him, right?" Liam asks.

"Of course, guys. I love your mother more than you'll ever imagine. Same thing with you and sister. I love you all so much, and I'm going to make sure none of you ever get hurt again." I kneel down and pull them to me, holding them close. They hug back just as tightly. "We love you, too, dad. And I'm sure if Cope could talk she would say the same," Rowan says, pulling back. I smile.

"Also, try not to make too much noise. Your mother's sick."

"What?! Oh, no! We need to watch him every second, every minute, every hour, and every day," Rowan begins and I laugh.

"Calm down, he's sleeping right now, but if you want, you can lay with him."

He nods excitedly and I follow him up to Kellin and my room. Rowan climbs into bed with Kellin making Kellin sit up and I peck his lips. He frowns, "You shouldn't be kissing me, Vic. I could be contagious." And I laugh.

"Oh, Kellin. I don't care if you're sick. I don't care if you're contagious. I would kiss you even if you were dead." He blushes, but pushes me away when I lean in again.

"Well, I care. So we aren't kissing until I'm better. Same for you, mister. I don't want you getting sick," he says, turning to Rowan, coughing a bit at the end.

"But, I want to be with you, Mom," he whimpers, looking up at Kellin. "Please," he asks, giving Kellin his signature puppy dog look. Kellin sighs, "Fine. You can stay."

"Yay! I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too," Kellin smiles. Rowan gets inbetween Kellin's arms and they both lay down. I peck both their foreheads before walking out of the room. I walk downstairs and see everyone just sitting and watching Tangled? "Dada," I hear Cope shriek and she begins to squirm around in Aaron's hold, so he sets her down and she begins walking to me.

I pick her up and take a seat beside Jesse. I take out my phone and get one of my "henchmen" to go buy coughing and cold medicine. "Esta bien, jefe," he responds. Then I put my phone away. "Who was that," Jesse asks.

"Just one of the gangmembers. I told him to go buy medicine."

He nods and goes back to watching the movie. Cope was cooing and making noises on my lap and patting my leg. She almost touched a place she shouldn't and I moved her hand away. "No, baby," I coo. Liam was at my feet, his head leaning against my knee.

For a while, there was silence and then it was broken with a knock on the door. "Tengo la medicina," I hear when I open the door. I nod, thanking him. I walk upstairs with a spoon and Cope in my arms. As soon as I open the door, I feel my blood run cold. Rowan was tied up on the floor.

Kellin was gone.

I rush to my son's side and untie him. Then I place Cope in her crib. Rowan hugs me and I feel wetness. "Rowan, what happened to your mom?"

"Some man took him. He-he looked evil." And I feel the world weigh on my shoulders. I look to my right and see the balcony window was open. I walk out, gently prying Rowan off of me and hoisting him up. He was heavier than Cope, but he needed comfort.

I look out. Then I hear a blood curdling scream come from the woods. I knew who's scream it was.

Chapter Text

"Stop, please," I beg as I feel another whip hit my back. I cry out, desperately trying to get away. "Oh, Kellin, but this is your punishment for running away," I hear him say before I feel another mark be carved into my skin. I could only imagine how bloody and marred my back was.

"Please..." My voice was stuffy and I knew I was going to die here - whether from my being sick or my uncle killing me - I was going to die.

"Consider yourself lucky I didn't bring that brat with you." And he was right, he did leave my kids alone. I hear shuffling from behind me and then my uncle appears in front of me. I look at him through my sweat-matted hair and blurry eyes. I go into a fit of coughing and I hear him laugh.

I don't know how long it's been since he took me, maybe a few days. I just remember waking up and screaming when I saw him. By then, I was already in the woods. He just continued to carry me to I don't know where. He had other people with him, I don't know where they are now.

"Oh, cheer up, Kelly. Aren't you excited to see me? We've been apart for a year. Haven't you missed me?" He taunts and I feel more tears building up. No, I didn't miss him. The only people I miss are back at Pierce the Veil.

I feel my body ache at all the abuse I've endured here. I had a fever and my whole body hurt. Plus, my body was bruised and bloody. Now to add to that collection, I have a scarred back. My arms were sore from being held up as he whipped me. Some of my body held burn marks.

"Aww, I know someone you have missed." Then out appears someone I hoped I wouldn't see. How long has it been? Eight years? He didn't look shocked to see me. Did he know? And he didn't stop it?

"... Dad?"



I run downstairs. "Kellin's gone." And everyone turns to look at me.

"What do you mean he's gone?" Jesse asked.

"His uncle took him."

"Shit! We need to find him. Who knows what his uncle is doing to him."

"I know. Mike, send search parties out. We are going to find Kellin."

"On it," he says, and runs off. "Do you have a picture of him," I ask Jesse. "No. Maybe Kellin does." I begin to shake my head. Why would Kellin have a picture of the man that abused him so much? But then I look at Jesse and see the look he was giving me for I realize, this is Kellin we're talking about. The boy who would sacrifice his freedom for the people he loves. The boy who forgets his own birthday, but remembers everyone elses.

We look at each other, then my bedroom, then each other again before we both run up the stairs and start rading my room. We dig through his clothes, shoes, closet. Then I find his lyric book.

I flip through the pages, not reading them to not invade his privacy until I find a picture of a man in a page labeled Kick Me. I tried so hard not to read it because I didn't want to invade Kellin's privacy, but I did read the first line. Let's hang the jury, you sick judgemental fools. I stop before I could go any further. "Jesse, is this him?" I hold out the picture to him.

"Yeah, where did he have it?"

"His lyric book."

"What page?"

"Kick Me."

"Hmm, must be a new one he wrote." He takes the book and begins skimming the page. "Hey. Should we really be invading his privacy?"

"He wouldn't mind. By the way, this is a really angry song."

"How so?"

"Well, one of the lyrics is Of all the sinners, you're first in line. So, go to hell and tell the devil I'm not that far behind. Nice, Kellin. Very nice."

I shake my head, "Come on, we need to show this picture to all of my gang, so they know what to look for." We leave my room and walk downstairs.

"Austin, make copies of this and pass them out to all my search parties," I had told him, he did as told. That was about a week ago and I've been going insane. Kellin was still missing and who knows if he's still alive. I fling the glass I was holding across the room and watch as the glass shatters.

I turn to the door when I hear someone come in. Jesse. "Vic, I know you're worried, but you're not the only one who misses Kellin. We're all worried."

"It's been a week, Jesse. A week. Who knows if he's still alive!"

"Don't speak that way! Don't you dare speak that way 'cause I won't allow you!"

"I'm sorry. You're right. Kellin is still alive. If I know anything about torture it's that you want to keep the victim alive for as long as possible so that they can suffer."

"Okay, that was morbid, but yes, it's true. Kellin is still alive. Hurt, but alive and we will find him." I nod. Then I walk back to the alcohol tray and fill another glass with scotch, but I stop. I set the glass down and walk out of the room, calling to Jesse, "I'm going to see my kids." I hear him laugh.

I walk into my new room. After Kellin was taken, I moved to a room with no windows that I share with my boys and Cope. They haven't been able to sleep alone. To be honest, I haven't been able to either. I missed him so much. A week without Kellin is not living - I'm just a ghost floating aimlessly.

I see Rowan and Liam playing with Cope and I smile. They were currently playing peek-a-boo. Cope would giggle everytime one of them showed their face. "Hey, boys," I say, walking up to them and picking up Cope who immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"Did they find mom yet?" Liam asks, hopeful. I shake my head sadly, "No, sorry, bud. We are going to, though. I swear."

"I know, dad, I just miss mom is all." I wrap an arm around him and he digs his face into my chest. "I know, I miss him, too." We stayed there for a while until I realized how late it was. "Okay, boys, time for bed. Go change into your pajamas." Liam pulls back reluctantly as Rowan jumps up and changes.

I crouch down to Liam's level and smile, "We will find him. And I will kill the bastard that took him." I peck his forehead. "Now go get changed."

"'Kay, dad." He walks to where Rowan is. I grab a diaper and Cope's pajamas along with wipes. I change her diaper and put on a fresh one before changing her into her pajamas. I pick her up as the boys get into bed. I rock her gently trying to get her to go to sleep. She does and I lay her gently in her crib before climbing into bed with my sons.



I groan as they kick my stomach. I heard a crunch and I screamed out loud. A rib was definitely broken. I heard chuckling as my uncle watched as they beat me up. My dad - ha, dad, as if I can even call him that - he just left after seeing me. No "hello", no "son". Nothing.

I feel a punch to my cheek and I whimper. I knew my nose was broken, my ribs now. They had thrown me on my back and it hurt because of the whipping I had received. I had tears rushing down my face, I was in so much agony. The only upside was my children weren't going through this.

My uncle had untied me only to have his men beat me up until I was nothing but a bloody mess. As far as I can tell, it was working. I tense as I hear a belt come undone, but I realized what he was going to use the belt for when it hit my bare skin. I scream out, but it kept coming. It wouldn't stop.

He flips me onto my stomach and begins hitting my back and I let out a blood curdling scream. "Jesus Christ, he's got some voice," I hear one of them say and it served as a time for me to compose before the abuse started up again. I lay there trembling as another belt hits my already marred back.

And I screamed and screamed and screamed. I screamed until I couldn't anymore and then I called out for him even though he couldn't hear me. I hear my uncle cackle as I did, but I had called his name and I wouldn't take it back. I needed him to save me. So I had called out my hero's name, "Vic!"




I sit up in bed, panting. I had heard someone call my name in my sleep. It sounded like Kellin. My heart was racing and I was sweating. I climb out of bed and walk down the stairs. Austin's gang had left to look for Kellin in the United States in case his uncle had taken him there. Jesse stayed here along with his gang members whose names I can't remember.

I walk into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of water. I take a sip as I think about my name being called. It sounded as if though it were inside my head, and it sounded a lot like Kellin. Oh, Kellin.

I was so worried about him, my men haven't stopped looking. Did I feel bad for not letting them rest? No. I knew it's not what Kellin would have wanted, but he didn't deserve getting kidnapped either. I set the glass down and walk back upstairs. I would get him back.



I was chained to the wall once again as I go into a coughing fit. I was bloody, bruised, and broken. My arms were behind and pulled apart a bit. I was on my knees, my body hunched over as far as it would go with the shackles.

I look up as I hear the door open and in steps my dad. He had a bucket in his hand with a white towel on the handle. He walks closer to me and gets down to my eye-level. I give him glance before putting my head back down in exhaustion.

I feel fingers go under my chin and next thing I know my head is picked up and he's pressing the towel to my cheek gently. I wince as I knew there was cut there and it stung. One of goons decided it'd be fun to cut me up a bit. It was the lesser of my tortures.

He finishes that cheek and moves to the other, doing the same. I let out a few coughs and sneezes, trying not to die. When he finishes with that, he moves to the rest of my face before finally looking me in the eyes. He stares long and hard before sighing. "You have your mother's eyes," he finally says.

I nod slightly in acknowledgement. "She wouldn't have wanted this for you. She loved you so much."

I pull away from his touch. "Stop. Just stop. Stop acting like you're sorry or that everything is okay between us. You left me! You abandoned me! You left me with that monster! How could you?!"

"Kellin, I - "

"No! Remember the question I asked you when you were walking out on me?"

He stays silent, his eyes lowered in shame. "Yes."

"Tell me what it was."

"You asked me, 'Why are you running away?'"

"Exactly. And that question still stands. Was it something I did? Or did I make a mistake? 'Cause I tried to deal with pain. I don't understand this! Is this how it is? Tell me, please, 'cause I need to know!" I screamed at him.

"Kellin, I-I wasn't ready to be a parent."

"No one is!"

"I know, I just, I was a coward. And I really am sorry. And about your uncle, I can't justify what he's done to you, but he-he's family."

"Is this what you call a family?! He abuses me! And you don't do anything to stop him! No, this isn't a family! Family is what I have back at home with Vic and my children. Where no one - especially not my children - gets abused! I'd die before letting anything happen to them! Like any other good parent would do!" He flinches and I know I hit a sore spot.

He stays silent. I had never truly felt anger. Pain, anguish, betrayal, but never anger. It just wasn't me, but he was the reason all that happened to me. My mom had no fault in this.

"Tell me where have you been! It's been hell not having you here. I missed you so bad, and you don't seem to care! When I went to sleep at night, you weren't there! When I went to sleep at night, did you care? Did you even miss me? I need to know! I tried to understand!"

He stays silent and goes back to cleaning. "Kellin," he finally speaks. "I can't take back all that's happened, but you need to know, I hate who I am. Everytime I look in the mirror, I look for someone else's face because the person staring back at me, it's not who I want to be."

"Oh, cut the bullshit. Don't say that it's not fair that you're not the person you want to be. I spent seven years wishing that you'd draw the line. But I burried that thought along with you in my mind."

"Kellin, please. I am sorry. But you need to understand that I am not the one at fault."

"Then tell me who is! Tell me who is to blame! Because if it's not you, then it must be mom since she clearly wanted to die. You know what, leave. Just leave. I'd rather get another beating than be stuck here talking to you." He didn't leave, he just continued to clean me quietly.

He finally finished, and got up. He walks to the door, but right before he opens it, he stops and turns to face me. "I'll get you out of here, Kellin. That's when you'll know I am sorry."

I didn't look up, I knew he was lying. He wouldn't get me out of here. He doesn't care about me. He never has, never will. Come on, be strong, Kellin. I resist the urge to look at him.

"I promise," he finishes, then he leaves, shutting the door behind him. Was he serious? Could he get me out of here? I sigh, shaking my head and begin to sing softly to myself since I knew my uncle hated it.

"Father, father,
Tell me where have you been..."

Chapter Text

I hurt everywhere. I couldn't move or it'd hurt too much. My whole body hurt. My sickness had finally gone away, but that didn't mean the abuse stopped. My uncle made sure I got some kind of torture everyday. My ribs were still broken and it hurt to breathe. One of my uncle's goons fixed my nose though, but it did hurt.

My dad came to clean me up everyday, always promising to get me out of here. I'm still waiting for that to happen, dad. I knew he wasn't going to go through with it. Times like these are when I missed my mom most. She had always been kind, gentle, sweet. What any kid wanted in a mother. I picked up after her, I guess. A lot of her friends used to tell me that. And I was proud I was like mother. I wanted to be just like her.

My dad was currently cleaning my chest since my uncle started cutting it up a bit with a knife. By a bit, I mean there was a cut everywhere. I sigh.

I missed my kids - Cope, Rowan, and Liam. I missed Jesse and Jaime. I missed Alan and Austin. I missed Tony, Jack, Gabe, and Justin. I missed Shayley, Aaron, Tino, and Phil. I even missed Mike. But most of all, I missed Vic.

I wanted to be back in his safe and strong arms again. I want us to fall asleep tonight and have him show me I'm not broken. I want him to protect me. I want him to peck my forehead and tell me I'm okay. I want him to lay me down and tell me everything will alright. I want him to tell me what his dreams are made of. I just want him.

I was so close to death and I knew it. I was going to die here. I have accepted that, but I didn't want it to be so

I wince as my dad cleaned one that was a little too deep. "Sorry," he says. I relax before speaking, "It's fine," I mumble. He nods and continues with what he was doing. "Dad?"


"How long have I been here?"

"A month." I nod. I knew it was around that much. A whole away from my family. My real family. It broke my heart to think about them. What if Cope has already forgotten about me? What if Vic's moved on? How were the boys? My babies, I wondered if they missed me.

"They do miss you, Kellin."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes, but they do miss you. Your husband hasn't stopped sending search parties out. He hasn't stopped looking for you. And, Kellin, he's a wreck without. I've never seen anyone so disorientated like that. He really loves you."

"How do you know this?"

"Your uncle has some men watching the gang. I've heard them talk about it. Then once when it was my turn to watch, I saw him. That man is so heartbroken." And I felt my heart break even more knowing Vic was in pain. They still thought he was my husband and I'll let them think that for as long as they want.

"I just want to go home."

"I know. Soon, I promise. Really soon." He says, then he gets up to leave. I watch him sadly. Then my uncle walks in. I tense, but I regret it after because it hurt my body a lot more than anticipated. "You know, remember when you ran away?" I nod.

"I want you to know that the only reason I haven't fnished what I started tthat night is because I wanted to take your virginity, but I know you're not a virgin anymore. You gave it to that Mexican," and he said the Mexican as if it were poison. I was confused, though. Why would he think I had sex with Vic? Then I realized, he knew a lot about my relationship. He knew Vic and I slept in the same bed. I was going to have to go along with that.

He gives me another beating before leaving. I just wanted to go home.



I missed him. I missed him so much. No one understood, but I was dying without him. I felt weak, tired. I didn't even see the point of existing anymore. Sometimes, I almost drink my problems away, but then I remembered. I have three kids that need my support. I needed to be strong for them. For Kellin.

"Dada," I hear. I pick my head up from my hand and look down. Cope grabbed onto my shorts and hoisted herself up. When she's standing is when I pick her up. I hold her to my chest. "Mama?" She asks and I feel myself choke up.

"Mama isn't home yet, baby. But I promise soon." She nods and wraps her small arms around my neck. I walk into the living room. No one was as lively without Kellin. He made us all happy. Austin's gang hasn't found anything at Kellin's old house except for some pictures of when he was younger. They shipped them to me.

Everytime I got depressed, I would look through the album of photos. He was so adorable. Not much has changed. Sometimes the boys would sit by me and look through the pictures along with me. It would make us smile, even for a little bit. They missed Kellin just as much as I did. The album of photos was almost as if Kellin were still here. Almost.

In all my years of living, I would have never thought I'd need someone as much as I needed him. Our kids are the only thing keeping me sane. I loved them just as much as I loved Kellin. I missed him.

I wanted him back in my arms. I wanted to hold him. To kiss him. I needed his gentleness to calm me down. I wanted to protect him from the world so cold and cruel. I wanted him to need me and never leave me. I needed him to control me.



"AH!" I screamed out as they burned my chest. I had been screaming so loud I'm surprised I haven't lost my face.

My chest was bleeding and blistered. Then a new burn was placed on my arms. They had strapped me in a chair as they burned me. I was in my underwear and I couldn't even look at my body without feeling like crying.

I let out another scream and the guy burning pulls back to cover his ears. "Jesus Christ, he's sure got a voice!" Before he can continue, my uncle steps in. "Stop. I'll take it from here." The guy nods and leaves. My uncle turns to me and unties me from the chair.

He makes me stand and my shivering form collapses on him. He carries me to the wall and shackles me to the wall. He grabs a knife and I tense when he walks towards me with it. He places it right my waist band before carving into my skin and I let another ear splitting scream. It didn't phase him - he was used to my screaming after all.

When he pulls back, he unshackles me and I fall down to my knees in pain. I look down at my chest and see he had carved a word into my skin - worthless. I feel a sob force its way up my throat. He really did hate me. That's all I'll ever be to him - worthless. I don't know why that hit me harder than it should have, but it did.

I see I was bleeding and I felt myself growing more and more faint. I should have panicked, but I welcomed it. My only regret was not being able to be with my family, but I was okay with this happening right now. I was going to die and that's okay.

Then everything begins dark and I had never felt more at peace than when my whole turned off. I smile as I lose all consciousness. Goodbye.

Chapter Text

Kellin's Father


"Go clean him up," my brother tells me. I sigh. My poor son, why couldn't I save him? Why did I stay with him after his mom died? Why did I run away? Oh, yeah, I'm a coward. I was a sad excuse of a father and the fact that Kellin came out just like his mother relieved me.

I walk into the kitchen of the house and pour water from the sink into the bowl and grab the cloth I've been using the whole time. I clean with soap and water then place it in the bowl.

I begin making my way to Kellin's prison cell. I knock once before entering and I drop the water as soon as I see him. I run to his side and I grab his wrist in my hand and beginning feeling for a pulse. Nothing, I found nothing. How do doctors fucking do this?

I bring two of my fingers to his neck and that's when I feel it. I breathe a sigh of relief, but I realized I needed to get him out of here. Now. I pick him up and walk to his door. He was so light, I knew my brother didn't feed him as much as he should, but Kellin was abnoramlly light it scared me. I take a deep breath as I stop at the door before bolting down the hall.

No one was in the hall way, but no one could be too sure. I run into the kitchen and grab the car keys. As I run out, I run back in as soon as I see one of my brother's goons. Shit, shit, shit. I peek out and see he's gone, so now I begin tiptoeing around.

I had too many close calls, but I finally reach the car and I place Kellin in the backseat laying down. Then I hear a shout. "What are you doing?" I turn my head to the door to see my brother running after me. I slam Kellin's door and rush inside the driver's seat.

I place the key in the ignition and rush out of the there. I had to get Kellin back to his boyfriend/husband/whatever-he-was-to-Kellin. I look at the rear view mirror and see my brother and a bunch of goons chasing after me in another car.

I speed down the road out of the small town we were staying at as they tortured my son. The drive back to Kellin's boyfriend/husband/whatever-he-was-to-Kellin's gang was long. Almost four hours. The only upside was the car had a full tank. Hopefully it lasted all the way.

I hear a groan coming from the backseat. "D-Dad?"

"Shh, Kellin, go back to sleep. You're going to be okay."

"Dad-Daddy, everything hurts," and his voice was so small and broken it took me back to when he was a small six year old who had fallen down the swing and ran to me. He had clutched onto me as he cried.

"What happened, baby," I had asked him.

"I hurted my knee, daddy," he said, using improper grammar like any other boy his age would have. I unwrap his arms from me and pull away gently. "Let me have look and see." He nodded and wiped at his eyes. I pick him up and place him on my hip as I carry him back inside our house.

His mother was at the grocery store and I was watching him. I placed him beside the kitchen sink and looked at his knee. It wasn't too bad, a little bit of blood, but the skin was torn. If it were to have happened to me, I would have shrugged it off, but Kellin was six and he had always been a very frail boy.

"It hurts, daddy," he whimpered and I had nodded sympathetically.

"I know, baby, but I'll make it better." I had grabbed a cloth and placed it under the sink, getting it a bit wet. When it was moist enough, I began rubbing it against his knee and he jumped and whimpered. "Daddy," he cried. But I was finished and I grabbed a Spongebob band-aid from the medicine cabinet and placed it on his injured knee.

When that was done, I kissed his gently and picked him up. He latched onto me. "Better," I had asked. And he nodded gently against my neck. I had smiled and pecked his head. He then had a nap and was back to running about the next day.

Looking at him now, I saw that same six year old again who needed me. Who didn't resent me. But he wasn't six years old anymore, he was twenty-three. And it wasn't a scraped knee, it was much worse. I would have preferred the scraped knee over all the abuse he's had to endure.

But he would always be my baby. He would always be the small boy who needed me when he was pain. "I-I know, baby, but go back to sleep, please. I'm going to get you to safety, I promise." He didn't seem phased at the fact I called him baby. He only nodded and wiped at his eyes like he had when he was six.

He laid back down and went to sleep. I breathed in a sigh of relief. He's going to be okay.



I was currently looking Kellin's photo album. One of the pictures was of him and a man holding him in his arms. Kellin looked about six so I'm guessing the man was his father. Kellin resembled him. The same black haire, same pale skin, same colored eyes, same eye shape, but his dad's were smaller.

Kellin was smiling and he was such a cute six year old. I grab the picture and I turn it over. On the back it read, in messy handwriting so I presume it was Kellin's, Me & Daddy! God, he's so adorable.

I put it back and continue looking through the photos. I would never get tired of looking through the photos. I realized I should probably begin taking pictures of the kids. I had some on my phone.

I put the photo album away and walk downstairs. The kids were playing hide-and-seek with Jesse and his gang while Cope slept upstairs. I had a gang member watching her. I wasn't going to take any chances with her or my boys.

I walk into the kitchen and see Tony cooking. He stops when he sees me. "Hey," he says.

"Hi," I answer back, stoick. He flinches. "How, um, how are you holding up?"

I shrug. "I could be better."

He sighs, "Vic, don't bottle up your emotions. Cry if you want to, no one will judge you. We all know how much you love Kellin. You don't have to act like some big scary gang leader when we all you that all you want to do is break down crying."

He was right. Was I going to admit it, though? No. Did I know what I was doing was unhealthy? Yes. Did I care? No.

I nod, indicating I heard him, then I walk to my fridge, grab a soda. Then leave. I walk into the living room and turn on the tv. I was going to go look for Kellin with the others later.

I was watching Wayne's World when a voice calls out, "Daddy!" I turn my head to see Liam running towards me. He jumps onto my lap. "What happened, bub?"

"Uncle Justin was being mean," he pouts.

"What'd he say?"

"He called me a doo-doo head for finding his hiding spot!" I chuckle, but stop when I see him glare at me. I raise my hands in defense. "Okay, okay. I'll talk to him." He smiles and snuggles into my chest. I smile and wrap an arm around him as I continue watching tv.

Eventually, Cope's cries fill the baby monitor and Liam climbs off of me and I walk upstairs after having put milk in her bottle. I open the door and see the gang member - Pablo, I think it was - trying to calm her down. I chuckle softly, but pick her up and she calms down immediately and I bring the bottle to her lips and she holds it herself.

I place her back in her crib and begin to make my way out, but her cries stop me. "Dada!" She had discarded her bottle and was reaching out for me. I had to smile as I pick her up and her bottle. "Puedes ir a casa," I tell the guard and he nods, leaving.

I walk downstairs and ask Tony to make a scrambled egg for Cope. He tells me when he's done. I heat up a tortilla and feed her the egg with it, giving her small pieces at the time. I was silently hoping she wouldn't bite my fingers. But she had the biggest appetite now that she could eat solid food.

I finish feeding her and set her down to walk around. She had her bottle full of juice and walked around while drinking it. I made sure to watch her closely, she only fell a few times, but she got right back up again.

When she finished her bottle, she left it on the floor and began running around and playing. I picked her up bottle and placed it in the sink. I walk back to the living room and see her beginning to mess up the DVDs again. While Kellin would laugh it off and clean it up afterwards, I don't.

"Cope," I scold. "No. Don't touch those," I command and she stares at me with a heartbroken expression as her eyes fill with tears. I try my hardest not to give in as I close the cabinet door and lock it. Then I pick her and place her far away from the DVD cabinet.

Eventually, the game of hide-and-seek stops and the boys go to sleep, so I try to get Cope to fall asleep too. I place her in my bedroom with no windows. "Boys?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"There's going to be a guard outside your door, okay? If he does anything to you guys, tell me. I don't think he will, but let me know no matter what, okay?"

"We promise, dad." I nod and peck both their foreheads. They have been through enough, I will not stand for it if the guard hurts them. He will die. I walk out of the room and nod at the guard. He nods back.

I walk down the stairs and I meet up with Mike, Jesse, Justin, and Jack. Gabe, Tony, and Jaime were staying behind with the guard. Mike, Jack, and Jesse all didn't want their partners in harm's way. I understood. I would have done the same.

We walk out to the fence and see a bunch of other groups beginning to move out. Most of the gang members had loved Kellin, he was nice to everyone here. They all respected him enough to never have given him problems.

We all grab guns and leave HQ in our groups.


Kellin's Father

I was so close. The sun was setting and though my brother was trailing me, they were a long way behind. I could make it. I just had to be a bit faster. Kellin hasn't woken up since the first time. He had stirred a few times, and he mumbled a few times. They were all for Vic.

I see the familiar road up ahead. So close. So close. I knew I was going to have to get out of the car and I was more than willing. But I was so nervous. As I hit the familar forest, I slam the brakes. And unlock all the doors.

I rush out and grab Kellin hurriedly. He shifted a bit in his sleep, but stayed asleep. I began running through the woods trying to make sure Kellin wouldn't get hurt. He was limp in my arms, one could mistake him for dead.

He looked terrible as well. He was covered in bruises, cuts, burns, and lashes. I knew his ribs were still broken. And his skin would probably never be blemish free now. Some of the cuts were deep and they'd stay forever. I felt horrible. His mother would have killed me for allowing this to happen.

I reach a clearing and I hear a gun go off. They're close. I keep running. Another gunshot is heard. I run faster. My heart was beating, palms are sweating. I wasn't as young as I used to be, but I finally reach people and looking at all of them, I know they're the ones I was looking for.



We were currently looking when we hear guns go off. "Holy shit. Vic, did you hear that," Mike whispers. I hold finger to my lips and nod. I stand up and ready my gun. I hear the others do the same.

We continue onward, away from the gunshots. We didn't any one of us injured. It'd be killer to get them back to HQ. I see someone running through the woods and I signal for the others to get behind me and have their guns ready.

We walk closer to the person and another shot goes off. Who was that person? We continue going closer to them and as we get closer, I can see that he is holding someone. I can't make anything else but that. They seemed to be in a hurry and they were running desperately.

What did they need? But as we were about to move closer, the person finds us. And I gasp at what I see. It was him. Kellin's father. And in his arms he held someone so broken. Someone covered in bruises and cuts and burns. Someone covered in blood, but still as beautiful as he usually was. I felt my heart break.

And I quiver out a single word, "Kellin?"

Chapter Text



I run to Kellin's dad and take Kellin from him. I felt tears build up once seeing him. He was also so light. How much did they feed him? I turn to glare at Kellin's dad.  "Oh, my God. Kellin!" Jesse gasps. He also fixes a tearful glare on Kellin's dad.

"Who did this to him?" I growl.

"Who do you think? My brother." He sighs, so defeated. "Now, I know what Kellin went through for eight years. God, I'm a monster."

I don't bother correcting him. I wasn't Kellin who would have tried to make him feel better. He was right, he was a monster for leaving Kellin behind with his brother. "Where is that son of bitch?"

"He was behind me. I think they're still chasing me." And I nod, turning to walk away. "Good. Bring them all to me. And you, come with me," I command, pointing at Kellin's dad. I have got to learn his name. He follows behind me and I look down at Kellin's sleeping form. He was still as beautiful as the day I lost him.

But looking down at his body, I see his torso was covered in a word carved into his skin. My hatred for that man grew at seeing it. Kellin would never be worthless. I wanted find that man myself and rip his heart out.

We reach the gates and I open the door, not bothering to wait for him. I take Kellin to our house and run to our old bedroom. "Tony!" I see Kellin's dad jump from my peripheral vision. Tony rushes in and gasps when he sees Kellin. "Call the doctor." And he nods, running back out.

I grab my phone and call Austin. "Hello. This Austin Carlile speaking."

"Austin, it's Vic."

"Vic? Oh, my God. What happened?"

"We found him."

"Holy shit! That's great."

"I know, you come see him whenever you want." I hear him say something on the other end, then I hear Alan scream out a, "Now!" I hang up and take Kellin's hand in mine. Then the door bursts open. "Dad!"

I turn to look at Liam and Rowan who's eyes were covered in tears. "Is Mom..."

"Come see him. He's not a good sight, but he's alive." They run to my side and look at Kellin. "Oh, God, Mom," they gasp out. They both get into bed with him and get on either side, just holding him. I turn Kellin's dad and see him staring in awe.

"Guys, this is your other grandfather..." I trail off. "I'm Jeuse." I nod at him and they wave. "Watch your mom, I'll get Cope." They nod and I walk out of the room. I walk down the hall to my new room where I had placed Cope and when I walk in, I see her playing a game with the guard. I laugh and she runs to me. "Dada!" She squeals. She reaches up and I pick her up.

"Si quieres, ya te puedes ir. Muchas gracias," I tell the gang member. "De nada, Vic." Then he walks out, but not before ruffling Cope's hair. I smile. I begin walking back to mine and Kellin's room and I already see the doctor working on Kellin.

He was working fast and the boys were standing beside the bed. Then I see Jeuse walk up to them and place a comforting hand on both their shoulders, but they had different plans and clutch onto them and cry. I knew they were upset, we all were. Tony was at the edge of the bed, biting his nails with tears falling.

Gabe and Jaime were on one of the couches in the bedroom and crying into each other. I hand Tony Cope. "¿Como esta Kellin?"

"Esta muy grabe, creó que vas a tener que llevarlo al hospital." I nod.

"¿Estas seguru?"

"Si, llevalo ahora mismo." I nod and pick up Kellin. "We're going to the hospital. Now." They all chase after me. We all walk to the garage and pick out the biggest car we have and place Cope's seat in it. Tony straps her, then gets in. Gabe and Jaime get in the back row. Liam goes with them and Rowan stays up front with Tony and Cope.

I was in the driver's seat and Jeuse was in the passenger with Kellin leaning on him. I bolt the road as soon as the garage door opens. I broke all speed limits until I reached the hospital. I jump out of the car and rush to Kellin before carrying him into the building.

"¡Necesito ayuda, pronto!" All kinds of nurses rush to me and start yelling things out at each other. One brings a stretcher and they take Kellin from me and take him deeper into the hospital. "Le vamos a pedir que nos espere aqui. Cuando algo pase, le vamos a decir." Then she runs off with the others.

The others finally caught up and ask me questions. "I don't know. They just took him. One of the nurses said she'll tell me if anything happens." We all sit down in chairs. The boys sat beside me whil I held Cope. Jeuse was pacing and the silence was only broken when my phone rings.


"We got him."

"Take him to the torture chambers, Mike. Wait until I get there. Feel free to do whatever you guys feel to him. We're at the hospital if Jesse wants to come."

"Okay." Some mumbling happens and then Mike's back on the phone. "Jesse's on his way. Jack's going with him. I'll be there as soon as I'm done with him"

"Good. See you later."

"Later." Then I hang up and I see Jesse, Jack and Justin running towards us. "How is he?" Jesse asks, frantically. Jaime's the first to speak. "You couldn't have gotten here that fast without breaking any speed limits." I see Jack walk to Gabe who was in tears and he pecks his lips, probably trying to calm him down.

"That doesn't matter. How is he?"

"We don't know. We just got him in and - " the nurse interrupts me. "¿Kellin Bostwick?"

We all get up and run to her. "¿Si, como esta Kellin?"

"El señor Bostwick va estar bien. Ahorita esta en cirugía por sus costillas. Si esta quemado un poco mal, pero le podemos dar una crema para eso. Su espalda tiene laceraciones, se sanaron un poco, pero va a tener que cuidar eso." I feel something wash the weight of the world from my shoulders at the fact that he's going to be okay.

"Okay, muchas gracias. ¿Cuando lo podemos llevar a casa?"

"Si todo va bien en la cirugía, esta noche."

I nod and thank her once more. Everyone who doesn't speak English turns to me. "He's going to be okay." And that's when everyone breathes out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God." We all go sit back down, much more relaxed and calm at the fact that he'll be okay.

Mike shows up a little after, nodding towards me, letting me know the bastard was safely secured. He walks to Tony and holds the relieved boy.  We wait a couple of hours more when a doctor walks up. "¿Kellin Bostwick?" We all get up again.

"Ya lo pueden ver si quieren. Esta despierto." We all nod and he leads us to his room. He knocks on the door once and we enter. We all freeze as we see Kellin sitting up in bed. He was a hospital gown and was laying back. He looked so much better. The blood was all cleaned off, the burns had some sort of cream on them. And you couldn't see the giant lacerations etched into his skin. "Kellin," we all breathe and he chuckles. God, I've missed his laugh.

He sends a smile our way and we all rush in. "Mom," the boys cry and run to his side. Kellin smiles and tears fill his eyes. He leans to the side slowly and hugs them loosely. "I've missed you, guys."

"We've missed you, too, Mom," they cry. Tears rush down his face, but he was smiling. They pull back and Jack, Justin, and Gabe rush to his side. They all hug him and laugh. "You gave us quite a scare there," Justin says.

"I'm sorry," Kellin smiles. They hug once more before Tony, Jaime, and Mike walk to him. Tony and Jaime hug him close while Mike stands in the back awkwardly. When Tony and Jaime pull back, Mike walks to Kellin. He just stood there and began to speak, "I missed you, Kellin. I know I'm not your most favorite person in the world, but - " Kellin cuts him off.

He had reached up and and wrapped his arms around Mike's neck and pulled him down. He was hugging Mike. Mike looked shocked, but his expression softened and he wrapped his arms around Kellin's small body. Then Kellin speaks, "I missed you, too, idiot." Mike laughs through his tears before pulling back.

Kellin looks at his father before gesticulating him over. Jeuse listens and Kellin hugs him before pecking his dad's cheek. "Thank you, dad. Thank you." His dads smiles softly and hugs Kellin tightly. "No need to thank me, I did it because I wanted to." Kellin nods and pulls away when Jesse runs to him.

"Kellin, oh, my God. I've missed you more than you can imagine. I was so scared. And we couldn't find you." Kellin nods as he hugs Jesse and pulls back. Jesse kisses his forehead before leaning down and pecking Kellin's lips once. They go back to hugging for a long time before Kellin pulls back and wipes away his tears.

Then he looks at me and his smile widens. I feel tears build up in my eyes and I walk up to him, handing him Cope first who squealed when she saw him. He smiled through his tears and held her close. She pulls back. "Mama?"

"Yes, baby. Yes, I'm your Mama." Cope smiles and pets Kellin's cheek. "Mama sad?"

Kellin chuckles. "No, baby. I'm happy." Cope nods and hugs him close again. "Miss you, Mama."

"I missed you, too, baby." They hug for a while before Kellin calls his dad over and hands Cope to him. He looked startled, but took her in his arms and Kellin looked at me. I lean down and peck his forehead and hold him close, showing him he's not broken. I lay him down and tell him everything will be alright.

I hold him until the doctor comes back and tells us we can take him home. I hold him as we get in the car. I hold him as I help him walk inside the house. And I hold him as we lay in bed.

When we had gotten him out of the hospital gown. I had seen that doctors had wrapped up his torso and back. It looked similar to what was wrapped around me when I was shot. He was really slim. The doctor had warned us to give him food, little by little. Starting with soups and working our way up.

I helped him walk up and down the stairs. He walked very slowly and carefully and I hated how much pain he was in. He never complained, though. He was just happy to be home. I didn't let him get out of bed too often which he did in fact hate. It took everything in me to not give him what he wanted.

I was helping him shower. It wasn't sexual, he couldn't stand on his own very much and it hurt him to be curled up in the tub. So, we compromised. I held him lightly to my side. I couldn't hold him too tightly or it'd hurt him. And me. We were currently under the water getting our hair wet.

Warm water soothed his aching body so I didn't bother turning it off as he put shampoo in his hair and mine. I grab the sponge and put soap in it before handing it to Kellin and wrapping my arm around him again. Looking at him now, you would have never guessed he was tortured a week ago. The burn cream worked wonders. His bruises were fading. The only downside were his lacerations. They were fading as well, but I knew they would always be there.

He scrubbed his torso lightly, along with his arms. It was my job to clean his legs and back. He hands it me and I lean down to scrub his legs gently. When that's done, he turns around slowly in my grip and I begin scrubbing his back gently. Then I scrub his shoulders and the water washes it away.

I lean down and kiss his smooth shoulder. He freezes and turns to face me. He stares up at me before bringing his hand slowly to my face and cupping it. "God, I've missed your touch," I tell him. Taking his other hand and kissing it. He blushes lightly but wraps both his arms around my neck.

I lean down slowly and connect our lips. It was heaven being able to kiss him again. We kissed softly and slowly. My grip never tightened and neither did his. We stood there kissing until the shampoo and soap washed away.

We pull back, but connect our foreheads. "I thought almost lost you," I tell him. "I thought I'd never see you again," he tells me.

"I love you," he tells me. "I love you so much."

"I love you so much, more than you'll ever know." I turn off the water and open the shower door grabbing two towels. I wrap one around my waist and I throw the other over my shoulder as I walk back to his shivering form in the shower.

I help him step out onto the matt and I begin drying him gently. I wrap his around his body. We walk out of the bathroom and into our bedroom. I grab his clothes first. Then walk back to him. I unwrap the towel and put on his underwear. I grab his wrap and walk back to him before I begin to wrap it around him gently. When all of his torso is covered, I help him into the shirt he always wears to sleep. We had moved back into our old room. Cope was sleeping in the crib beside our bed.

I put on my underwear before grabbing the towels and hanging them up to dry. Kellin was using the bedside table for support and I hurry to him. I pick him up gently and lay him down. I grab the covers and place them over him.

I get in after him and place my arm over his flat stomach. "Everything will be alright." I tell him.

Chapter Text

I wake up sore and I wince. I grab my pain killers from the table and grab the glass of water Vic always leaves there. I lay back down slowly and Vic's arm tightens a bit. I smile knowing he's awake. "Good morning," I mumble.

"Morning. How are you?"

"I'm good. I just took my meds, so I should be okay." He sits up worriedly. "Did it hurt too much? Do you want to go to the hospital again? We can if you want. I can cancel every - " I cut him off.

"Vic, I'm okay. I promise. My ribs ached, but only a little bit." He doesn't look convinced and I sigh, trying to sit up. It really did hurt and Vic must have noticed because he worriedly helps me sit up. "Baby, if it hurts you too much, don't do it."

"Vic, I promise I'm okay," I say, bringing a hand to his face. "Don't you worry." He sighs and removes my hand from his cheek and brings it to his lips. He presses a firm kiss to it before cupping my face. He leans forward and presses his forehead to mine.

"I love you so much. I will worry, I have every right to worry." He pecks my lips. We pull back and just stare into each other's eyes. "Okay," I tell him. "Then at least try not to worry too much." He sighs, but nods. I smile at him and peck his lips before pulling back slowly.

I do my best to lay back down without hurting myself too bad. But I wince when I turn too fast and Vic sits up immediately. "Where does it hurt? Do you need stronger pills? How are we on a scale of one to ten?" I press a hand to his mouth.

"Vic, I love you. I do, but please calm down. Just help me lay back down and I'll be fine." He nods, placing one of his hands on my lower back and the other on my torso, but really lightly I could hardly feel it. I lower myself slowly and the hand on my back tightens a bit until my back lands on the soft bed.

While sleeping, I couldn't move, so I stayed in one position the whole time - on my back. Vic always placed his arm over my stomach.

My shirt rose up a bit and I sigh, knowing it'd be too much to pull it down. Vic leans on one of his hands as the other runs up and down my thighs. He stared at me while doing it.

We stayed that way for a long time until Vic laid down and Cope started crying. He got up and placed Cope on the floor. She began walking around happily. Then the boys ran in. "Morning," they say. I chuckle.

"Morning." I try sitting up, but groan. The meds took a while to kick in. Vic rushed to my side and helped me up. He places one arm behind my knees and the other under my neck. He picks me slowly and gently before placing me on my feet. My feet gently touch the floor and he moves away a bit.

Now it was time for the biggest struggle - walking. I take my first step and nearly fall over, but Vic caught me in time. He looked extremely worried, but he helps me stand again. The boys looked worried too. I sigh, I hated having people worry over me. "Boys, get your grandfather," they nod, running out.

Vic helps me walk to the bathroom. But before we enter, I see the boys rush in again with my dad. Except he was in his underwear and looked completely frightened. "We got him." And I laugh harder than I should have, but it was so funny.

"Boys, I just meant tell him to come. You could have given him time to get ready." I smile at them.

"Ohh. Sorry, grandpa."

"You're fine," he smiles at them. He walks out but not before telling us he would be returning. Then Vic and I enter the restroom. He holds me as I brush my teeth. Then he does. We walk back out and walk to our drawers. I pull out sweatpants and one of Vic's shirts. Vic removes his hand from my waist and gets down on his knees.

I use the drawers for support and Vic raises one of my feet and puts it through the hole of the pants. Then the does the same with the other before pulling them up. He stands and helps me remove my shirt. "Rowan, pass me your mom's wrap." Rowan runs to him and hands it over.

Vic begins to remove the wrap as my dad walks back in. Vic takes his time removing it. Then my torso is exposed and I see the faint scars of the word my uncle had carved into me. It brought back some memories and I close my eyes, trying to forget them.

I open them when I feel a hand tracing a different word into my word. It was Liam - he was tracing the word loving into my skin. He looks up at me once he's done and smiles. "You're not worthless - you're loving." I feel tears build in my eyes.

Rowan comes up after him and traces another word. It took me a while to figure it out, but it was wonderful. "You're not worthless - you're wonderful." I nod at him.

I smile at them and nod before Vic helps me put on the shirt. "Dad?"

"Yeah," he asks, smiling at us. "Can you carry Cope down the stairs?" He nods and picks up his grand-daughter. We all walk out, well Vic carries me, down the stairs. My dad sets Cope down as soon as we reach the bottom and Vic sets me down on the couch.

He walks into the kitchen and begins to prepare something for breakfast. It took a while, but once he's done, he calls us all in and he carries me into the dining room before setting me down gently on a chair beside him.

He treated as if I would break easily. I don't know if I should like it. I mean, it does show how much he cares, but I want to be able to move on my own. He carries me everywhere, he hovers over me making sure I'm not straining myself, and I can't shower alone. While I respect all of those, and I have gotten a lot more comfortable with him seeing me naked, I did want things to be normal again.

I grab Cope who walks over to me and place her on my lap. She hummed while on me and I played with the little hair she had on her head. Vic comes over with her bottle and I hand it to her which she takes happily. I eat over her making sure to not lean over too much and to not spill anything on her.

When she finishes her bottle, I feed her some of the egg Vic made. This happened until she wasn't hungry anymore. Then I set her down and she begins to happily walk about the house. I stand up slowly and take my time to the kitchen where I place my plate in the sink. The meds finally kicked in and I could walk without Vic's help.

I walk into the living room where Vic immediately gets up and walks to my side. "Vic, I swear I'm fine." He sighs, but nods. "I have to go out. Please dont stress too much. Have Rowan, Liam, and your dad help you out. Don't get up too much. Please."

"I promise, Vic. I don't think they'd let get up, anyway. Don't worry." He nods, pecks my forehead, then leaves, but not without one more glance at me. I take a seat beside my dad as the boys play video games.



I hated leaving Kellin, especially now, but I had an important matter to tend to. I walk to the back of HQ and enter the building. I get it in the old elevator and press the basement. As I pass the floors, I feel my anger grow more and more. I will destroy him.

When the elevator doors open, I see his pathetic body chained to the wall with Mike leaning against it without a care in the world. He smiles once he sees me. "Glad you could make it."

"I kind of wanted to stay home with Kellin."

"Yeah, I know," Mike says. I hear the bastard cough before he lifts his head and asks, tiredly, "Kellin? How is that waste of space?" Then my glare hardens and punch him across of the face. His head turns on the impact and he coughs up blood.

"What have you done to him so far?" I ask Mike, not once turning away from the piece of shit in front of me.

"I've burned him, broke his leg, peeled off his finger nails, beat him up, and cut off three fingers from his right hand."

"Good." I lean in close to him until I'm a breath away. "I'm going to do so much worse to you." I feel myself smile when he looks up at me fearfully. "How is Kellin with you?" He asks, shocked. "You're exactly like me."

I stand up straight and look down at him. "I'd never hurt him. I've been with Kellin a whole year and I've respected his decisions and him. I love him." He rolls his eyes.

"Oh, please. You probably only love the sex." And I smirk.

"Kellin and I haven't had sex. He's a virgin." His eyes widen. "I could have raped the little bastard?!" My smirk falls and I grab a cigarrette and lighter. I put the cigarrette in my mouth and light it. I suck once before blowing the smoke in his face. "Yep." Then I press it against his cheek and he screams out.

This was going to be fun.



Vic's been gone a while and I missed him. Cope was in my lap watching tv when the doorbell goes off. I stand up and adjust Cope on my hip. As soon as the door opens, I'm bombarded with hugs. "Kellin," I hear a familiar voice squeal.

"Alan!" I hug him back with my free arm. "I've missed you."

"Me too. I'm sorry we haven't come sooner, but..."  he steps aside and Austin comes in holding a little boy's hand. I gasp and walk to the boy. "You adopted?"

"Yes, meet Jaxin. He's four." I smile the boy and hold my hand out for him. He moves closer to Austin and hides behind his leg. Austin chuckled and I smiled at Jaxin, gently. "Go on, Jax. Say hello." The boy cautiously takes my hand and I smile at him.

"I'm Kellin," I tell him. "Nice to meet you."

"N-Nice to meet you, too," he stuttered out.

"Jaxin, baby, come here," Alan says, softly. "Okay, mommy," he mumbled and walked around me to Alan who picked him up. I adjust Cope and walk to them. "Come, guys. Let's go into the living room." They follow behind me.

Austin sits beside the boys who tackle him with hugs and Alan sits beside me. He places Jaxin in his lap who immediately pays attention to the tv. "How are you," Alan asks me softly.

"I'm good. A lot better than from where I was a week ago."

"I'm sorry this happened to you. Out of everyone in the world, you are the least deserving of that."

"Thanks, Alan. I'm just glad to be home."

"I can imagine. I'm sorry for not being here sooner, but then we found Jaxin and we couldn't leave the country until everything was set in stone."

"Hey, hey. Don't apologize. I know you've wanted kids for a while. I'm happy for you."

"Thank you."

Before I could respond, there was another knock on the door. I get up again and Mike stood on the other side. "Kellin, Vic wants you."

I give him a confused look. "Okay?"

"You need to leave the kids here. I can watch them."

"No, it's okay. Austin and Alan are here." He nods. "Be right back," I tell him. I walk back into the living room. "Austin, can you hold Cope for me?" He nods. "I have to go. Mike's taking me to Vic. My dad's upstairs if you need anything."

Before they can ask question, I leave and put on my TOMs before following Mike. He takes me to the end of HQ before opening a door for me. It was a dark and dank room and I felt uncomfortable being there. He leads me to the elevator and presses the last button.

I wanted to ask questions, but I believed staying quiet was better. It was quiet the whole ride down and eventually the doors open with a ding. And I gasp at what I see. Mike grabs my hand and walks out with me behind him.

There was my uncle. He was beaten and bleeding. Even after all he did to me, I felt sorry for him. Mike releases my hand as we stand a couple of feet away from him. I reach out hand before retracting it. I couldn't touch him.

"Kellin," I turn my head and see Vic. I walk to him and he wraps an arm around my waist. "I'm going to kill him. If you want to say anything to him, now's your chance." I nod and walk back to my uncle. I was speechless.

"Uncle?" I ask, softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. He looks up at me and his eyes harden. "You little bitch." I flinch away and Vic steadies me. "Go on," he says in my ear. I stare at my uncle with fearful eyes as I trembled in Vic's hold.

I take a shakey breath before walking closer to my uncle. "I-I don't know what to say. You-you abused me for so many years, but you were the only guardian I knew. I-I don't hate you, but I-I am afraid of you. I'll miss you as a person, but not as family." I step away and Vic moves me behind him as he holds up a gun pointed at my uncle.

I see Vic's finger tighten around the trigger and I look away and close my eyes as I hear the sound of gun go off.

I open my eyes slowly and no one has moved from their position. We all stood frozen. I question if I have the strength to move. It's quiet. So quiet and I hate the sound. But my uncle was gone.

Slowly, we all break from our trances and Vic places the gun down before turning to face. Long ago, I would have flinched away, but I trusted Vic. I knew he did this for me. To protect me. Though, I don't approve, I still loved him. Who is this man that I've become? I've watched myself struggle with this fear of falling down, but no more. I had Vic to hold me up.

He engulfs me in a hug. And I feel myself tremble. When had that started? "It's over," I whisper in shock. He nods. "I know." We stay like that for a while. That was now one chapter of my life finished. Now I had to turn the page.

Chapter Text

It's been two weeks since Vic killed my uncle and, I hate myself for saying this, I have never felt more relaxed than knowing he's gone. It's horrible to say, but I can actually sleep at night. I no longer have the random nightmares. I can breathe.

Vic had told my dad who only nodded in understanding. I don't think anyone was really upset about his death. Alan helped me through my weird mourning process. I didn't miss my uncle, but I did feel horrible he was dead. He was my uncle and though he abused me, he was the only family I knew.

I was currently changing Cope's diaper. She had eaten a bit of food and I was paying for it. I was almost done. I swipe once more and I finally finish. I pull the diaper out from under her and I place a new one. I strap it up and pull up her pink pants. I set her down and grab the dirty diaper, throwing it in the garbage can in her new room.

After the whole thing with my uncle, Cope finally got her own room. She still slept in a crib, but she had her room painted in pinks and purples. She had toys and stuffed animals with her clothes in her pink dresser. The baby monitor was in her room beside her crib. It hurt Vic more to part with her.

I walk into the kitchen, Cope trailing me, and I open the fridge. I grab her bottle full of apple juice and hand it to her. It was enough to keep her entertained while I began to cook her lunch. Spaghetti would suffice. All the while I cooked, she kept clutching onto my leg. I smiled down at her and she'd smile back.

I finally finished, and I served her a small proportion of spaghetti in alfredo sauce. I pick her up and put her in her high chair with the a plate and baby fork in front of her. When I see her begin eating, I walk back into the kitchen and begin washing the dishes.

I finish and I walk back into the dining room where I see Cope had made a mess all over her face and a bit on the floor. I grab a napkin and begin to pick up the garbage, throwing it away before grabbing another napkin to clean Cope's face.

She moved her head away, "Cope, baby, stop." I managed to clean her some along with her high chair. She continued eating until she was done. I take her plate and put in the sink. Then I get her out of the high chair and begin walking up the stairs with her in my arms.

When I reach my bedroom, I place her on the bed and take off her clothes and diaper. I walk into the bathroom and turn on the tub, letting it fill up with warm water. When it's full enough, I place her in gently and she begins splashing water about. Baths grew on her.

I hum to her as I bathe her. "I am not afraid to keep on living," I sing softly. I continue humming, singing lines here and there, until I finish bathing her. I grab her towel with the hood and pick her up, making sure to wrap her up tightly.

I walk back into the room and grab her a diaper and some clothes along with baby powder. I lay her down and unwrap the towel, placing a diaper under her butt. Then I add some powder on her before closing the diaper up. Then I put her on her onesie. I grab the baby brush and brush her hair gently.

Then I walk back downstairs and I see Vic walking in through the front. "Dada," Cope calls and he looks up and smiles. He walks to us and pecks my lips before taking Copeland in his arms. "And the boys?"

"They went to the pool with Austin, Alan, and Jaxin. I didn't since I have Cope and I'm still healing a bit." He nods before pulling me close by the waist. "How are you feeling," he asks worriedly.

"I'm fine. I don't have pain anymore. I think I'm pretty close to being completely healed."

"Are you sure? We can always go back to the hospital, ask for more - "

"Vic, I'm fine."

"Fine," he grumbles. "Have you eaten?"

"No. I've only fed Cope. There's spaghetti if you want some," I tell him. He got worried again. "Why haven't you eaten? Are you sick? Have you been skipping meals? Does your sto - "

"Vic! I'm okay. I just haven't gotten hungry. I need you to relax for me, okay?"

"... Okay."


"I missed you," he tells me. I smile at him, blushing a bit, "I've missed you, too." He pecks my forehead before pulling back and walking upstairs. I stay downstairs and begin picking up. I grab Cope's toy basket and begin picking up her toys.

I finished soon after and placed the basket in the closet. I walk upstairs and into the boys' room. I cringe at the mess. I begin with their clothes. I grab all the clothes from the floor and place it in the hamper. Then I begin picking up whatever toys or game controllers they have on the floor. The toys go in the toy basket and the game controllers I put on the game console.

I fix their bed. Yes, bed since the other wasn't used. I grab the plates they had around and take them downstairs where I wash them. On my way upstairs, I bump into my dad. "Dad, hey."

"Kellin, hi..."

"... Is there anything you'd like?"

"Yes, actually. Is it okay if Cope sleeps with me tonight? I've been meaning to ask you and I really love that baby girl. She's grown on me and - " I stop him, smiling. "Yes, dad, of course." I couldn't keep the smile off of my face. He wanted to be a part of my kids' lives, he'd be their grandfather.

"Go ahead. I'll let Vic know."

"Oh, thank God. I thought I was going to have to talk to Vic."

"Oh, come on. He's not that bad."

"To you, maybe. You should see how he treats everyone else. He either hates them all or he's just very angry with all of them. And then he looks at you, and it's like an angel touched him, he's so happy."

"I-I've never noticed."

"Kellin, that man loves you more than you'll ever know." I nod and he walks off. I walk into Vic and my bedroom and see him laying in bed with Cope on his chest, talking to him. I smile. I walk over to them and get beside the bed where Cope looks at me. "Mama!"

"Hey, baby, how would you feel about sleeping with grandpa tonight?"

"Yesh!" I smile. I loved her so much. My dad comes in and picks up the crib. Vic sends me a confused look. "She's sleeping with him tonight, and I don't see a reason why not." He nods and pecks my forehead before sitting, clutching Cope close to him before letting her go.

She runs around playing with her toys and I hear voices from downstairs. I assume the boys are home. I peck his lips once before walking downstairs with him trailing me, Coco in his arms. I reach the bottom and the boys bombard me with hugs. "Hi, guys."

"Hey, mom."

"How was the pool?" Then Austin and Alan walk in with Jaxin in Austin's arms. I smile at them before looking back down at the boys. "It was great. We taught Jaxin how to play Marco Polo! And Uncles Austin and Alan helped us turn on the hot tub."

"Well, I'm glad you guys had fun."

"Yeah, but what's for lunch," Rowan asks. "I made spaghetti. You can have some of that."

"'Kay, thanks," then he runs into the kitchen. Liam stays with his arms around me. I didn't care that he was getting me wet. "How are you, mom?"

"I'm fine. I'm not in pain anymore." He smiles up at me. "Really?"

"Yes." His smile widens and I lean down and peck his forehead. "Ugh, mom, why?" He groans, wiping at his forehead furiously. I find myself chuckling. "You're mean," I tell him. He ignores me, continuing to wipe at his forehead. He finally finishes when he deems his forehead clean enough. "Mom, why? Kissing is gross."

But before I could retaliate, Vic comes in with Cope walking behind him. "Kissing is gross, now, huh?"

Liam nods firmly. "Austin, Alan! Get in here!" They walk in right after with Jaxin trailing them shyly. "What is it?" Alan asks, smiling down when Jaxin wraps his arms around his legs.

"Liam here thinks kissing is gross." Austin smirks and Alan chuckles. "Is it now? Let's see how you feel about this," Austin says and he leans down to connect his lips with Alan's eagerly. "Eww! Gross! Stop!" Then they add tongue. "Ugh!" Liam screams. "Eww."

"Liam, watch this," Vic says and he grabs my chin and connects our lips. He opens my mouth with his tongue and I vaguely hear Liam mutter something about us being mean before leaving. We all pull away and laugh. Austin and Alan lean down and take Jaxin's hands. I always knew Alan would be a great parent, but Austin surprised me with how well of a father he is. He was strong, sturdy, fun, but also caring.

Alan took more of the mother role. He was kind, gentle, compassionate. He was very caring and loving. He was warm and well, motherly. Jaxin preferred him when he was upset, but preferred Austin when he was scared. I thought it was adorable.

Alan walks to us. "We have to leave today. Tino and Phil can only watch Nala and Sophie for so long, and we promised Jax a dog. He wants to name it Nugget." I nod and hug him close. "It was great seeing you. Come back soon, okay?"

"Promise," he says, pulling back at arm's length. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too." I get down on my knees and stand in front of Jaxin. "Bye, Jax. I'll miss you, as well. I'm glad you're now part of our big, crazy, illegal family." He gives me a small smile. "I'll miss you, too, Uncle Kellin." He then stumbles to me and wraps his small arms around my neck. I hug him back.

He pulls back and runs back to his parents. I get up and walk with them to the door. "Bye, guys, have a safe flight."

"Bye, Kellin," Austin says, giving me a hug before they leave. Before I can turn around, someone is wrapping their arms around my waist and placing their head in the crook of my neck. "You're so good with kids."

"Thank you," I tell Vic turning my head to the side to face him. He picks his head up from my neck and turns to face me as well before kissing me. We stay like that for who knows how long, our lips just touching. Nothing more, nothing less.

We pull away only when we hear Cope begin crying. I pull away from Vic immediately and run to where her cries were coming from which was the stairs. I feel my heart stop when I see her at the bottom holding her head, crying.

I rush to her and pick her up, "Oh, Coco, what happened?" I coo at her trying not to cry myself. I walk into the kitchen and grab an ice pack from the fridge. I gently place on the spot she was clutching and she whimpers at the cold. The urge to cry was stronger. The boys along with Vic and my dad walk in. "What happened," they all ask.

"I don't know. I think she was trying to climb the stairs and she fell down." Rowan walks forward. "Oh, Cope, are you okay?" And she shakes her head no. I hear myself whimper. Vic walks up to us and takes Cope. "Come, now. Let's take her up for her nap."

I nod, following him. We reach her room and I sit in the rocking chair as  Vic hands her to me. She had went from crying out loud to quiet sniffles. I hold her close and rock her to sleep, humming a random song. Her breathing calms down and evens out.

I get up slowly and place her in her crib. I go back to the rocking chair and grab a book I left in here nearby. Vic had left a few minutes before. I look up when I hear the door open. There stood my dad. I close my book and stand up. "How is she?"

"She's fine. I just made her fall asleep. You can take her now if you want. But you won't be able to leave her alone since you won't have a crib to make sure she doesn't fall."

"I know, Kellin. Thank you," he says. "I did have a child for fourteen years," he mumbles the last part. I pretend I didn't hear him. "Good night, dad."

"Night, Kellin. See you tomorrow." He walks to Cope's crib and picks her up gently, expertly. He walks out quietly and I sit back down, going back to my book.

I spent two hours reading and it was eleven by the time I finished the book. I get up from the chair and walk to my room. I look inside and see Vic wasn't in it yet. He was probably still with the boys. I wouldn't disturb them.

I pull the shirt over my head and take it off exposing my bandaged torso. I put on the usual shirt I sleep in and unbutton my shorts. As soon as the zipper is down, they glide off of me. I step out of them and pick them up, taking the clothes to the hamper.

I put my phone to charge. And as I stand up, I hear the door lock. I thought nothing of, but then I feel a presence behind me. Vic begins pulling the sleeve of my shirt down, exposing my shoulder. He brought his other hand under my shirt and pulled me closer to him. I feel his lips begin to trail kisses on the shoulder he exposed.

His other hand went inside my underwear and he engulfed me. I gasp and lean more into his body, away from his hand. "Vic, I - " it was cut off by a moan as he moved his hand. The temperature got inexplicably hotter.

He takes his hands away and turns me around. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. His hands move lower to the back of my thighs and he tells me to jump. When I do, he wraps my legs around him. He carries me to the bed before laying me down gently and climbing over me so that he's hovering.

He leans down and connects our lips. It started out innocent until he added tongue and pried my lips apart. One hand moved under my shirt again, pulling it up as he went. I shivered at his touch. He pulls away and moves his lips to my neck. I gasp as his lips found something that made my body all tingly.

"Vic, I - what are you - " a combination of a moan and a gasp stop me from continuing. He pulls back and takes off his shirt. He leans back and pecks my lips before trailing his hands to the hem of my shirt and begin pulling it up. I sit up and he pulls it off.

He leans down until our foreheads touch. My mouth was open, breathing heavily along with his. "I love you," he breathes. I raise my eyes to look into his. "I love you," I tell him. He kisses me softly. My eyes flutter close at the sweet gesture. I wrap my arms around his neck bringing him lower.

He flips us over so I'm on him and I pull back, sitting up. I rested my hands on his chest and had my head lowered, a blush scattering over my cheeks. He sits up with me now in his lap and brings a hand to stroke my cheek. "You're so beautiful," he says and leans up to kiss me.

We pull away slowly and look at him through my eye-lashes. "We don't have to keep going if you don't want to," he says, with his hand still cupping my cheek and his thumb rubbing my bottom lip that was now swollen.

"I-I," I didn't know. I loved Vic with all my being. I trusted him with everything in me. But was I ready? I knew he'd wait if I wasn't, but what if I was? We got this far and I wasn't uncomfortable. I didn't feel pressured. "I want to," I whisper, looking into his brown eyes.

"I, just, please be gentle," I tell him, looking away, embarrassed. "Hey," he says softly, turning my head to face him. He looks deeply into my eyes before pecking my lips. "I'll always be gentle." I nod and we kiss again. I place one hand on his shoulder and the other on his bicep as he turns us around again.

I gasp into his mouth as I feel the cool sheets touch my bare back. He moves his lips from my lips to my jaw to my neck all the way down my stomach. He stops when he reaches my waistband and sits up. "Are you sure," he asks and I nod, "Yes."

He nods and begins pulling them down and I felt myself get darker as more and more of me was exposed. He slides my underwear all the way down to the floor and moves my feet out it. I was left completely bare on our bed.

His hand wraps around me and my arches a bit off the bed at his touch. I gasp and bite my lip as he began to pump me and I felt myself getting hard. Something that had never happened before. I never masturbated as a teenager and I was never touched this way with me willing.

But he retracts his hand and moves his hand to the inside of my thighs. He gently pries them apart until my legs are open and he situates himself inbetween them. He reaches to his side and opens a drawer and pulls out a bottle.

He opens the cap and adds some to his first three fingers. I was confused as to what that was for, but he moves his hand down and I feel something enter me. "Ooh," I gasp as I shiver at the cold. He moves it in and out and I let out little moans. I feel another enter me and I wince as that stung more. He placed kisses on my neck as he begins to pump those to fingers in and out of me.

"Vic," I gasp. "That feels... good," I breathe and I feel him chuckle silently. He then adds a third one and I whimper at the pain that came with it. "I'm sorry," he whispers into my ear. "I know it hurts."

I nod. "It's-It's okay," I breathe out. He slowly begins to move them and it felt wonderful until he did something that made me see stars. My back arches off of the bed and as I gave a loud moan. "Vic, I - what was that?" But he didn't answer, he just redid what he did and my back arches off again. He kept touching that spot.

My body felt hot. I had never experienced so much pleasure. It felt something like fire. It was indescribable. I was seeing stars. My hair was stuck to my forehead with sweat and I turned my head to the side a bit with my lips parted into a small 'o'.

He removes his fingers. "It's not too late to stop, Kellin," he whispers into my ear. "It-It's okay." He nods and sits up. He reaches for the bottle once more and squirts a lot more onto his hand before rubbing it on his member. He alligns himself.

I feel tears prickle at my eyes as he enters me. I clenched my eyes shut ad sat up as I held him close. My nails dug into his back. He wasn't small. "Vic, it really hurts," I whimper. "I know, baby. I'm so sorry. It'll get better, I promise," he cooed, reassuring me.

He began to move slowly and I winced. But it began to gradually get better as he went along. He began to go faster and faster and moans were leaving my lips. My head lulls back at the pleasure I was feeling and he begins to attack my neck with his lips.

He slammed into me and I let out a scream. I bite my lip to hold more back but he moves his lips to my ear. "Don't hold them back, Kellin. I want to hear you." And I obeyed. The rest of the night was filled with moans and gasps of passion. Hands roamed bodies, lips traced skin.

I was on him as he slammed into me. "I love you, Vic," I gasped in pleasure. "I love you, Kellin." He growled out. I felt something build up in the bottom of my stomach. "Vic, I-I," but a scream left my lips as I came. Vic came later in me and he leaned his head on my shoulder as we both tried to catch our breath.

He pulled out of me and laid me down on the bed. He grabbed some of Cope's baby wipes and cleaned us off. I was dozing off of exhaustion by the time he finished. He pulls the covers over us and pulls me close. "I love you," he tells me softly.

"I love you, too," I smile as I feel myself getting closer to sleep.

He smiles, "Sleep, baby." And I do as he says with a smile on my face.

P.S. One more chapter. And that's it.

Chapter Text

I wake up to someone playing with my hair and as I lift my head off of Vic's chest, I see it's obviously Vic. He was smiling softly down at me and I smile back at him. The whole scene was perfect. I lay my head on Vic's chest, he was his hands through my hair, and we were smiling at each other. Nothing could ruin it.

His hand moves from my hair to my back and I shiver as his fingers skim over it. "Good morning," he says, his smile widening.

"Morning," I mumble back, smiling with a blissful expression. His fingers continue to trace my back softly and my fingers begin to dance over his chest. We didn't move.

That is until we heard the doorknob. "Mom, Dad, why's the door locked," we hear Liam call from the other side. "Give us a minute," Vic calls back. I sit up slowly and more and more of the sheets fall off of me, exposing my skin. I feel Vic sit up once I'm fully seated and he pecks my shoulder. I try to stand, but wince at the pain that shoots up my lower back.

Vic gets up immediately, not bothering to hide his naked body while I on the other hand made sure the sheets were wrapped tightly around me. "Are you okay," he asks, worriedly. "I'm fine. Just sore."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Let's just get changed and entertain our kids. Yeah?"


He carries me to the dresser and sets me down as I hold the sheets tightly around me. He gets dressed first before pulling out some clothes for me. He unhooks my hands from the sheets and lets them fall around my feet. He slides the underwear up my legs before pulling the sweatpants up as well. He hands me the tank top which I put on.

I walk slowly to the door unlocking it as Vic picks up our clothes from the floor. The boys stood there smiling. "Good morning."

"Morning, boys."

"Why was the door locked, Mom? I'm curious, you guys have never locked it before." Shit, I was never good at lying. "Really? I don't think we noticed it was locked."

"Mom, you suck at lying," Rowan says. I sigh, "Yeah, I know. Let's go downstairs."



"Did you lose your virginity?" I choke on my spit at Liam's question. "L-Liam! What kind of a question is that?"

"So you did, huh?"

"Boys," Vic says, coming to my rescue. "Don't embarrass your mother, but yes, he did lose his virginity."

"Knew it," the boys said at the same time, nodding and walking off. I could only stare at my boyfriend in horror.

"Vic! Why? Why would you tell them that?! If it didn't hurt, I'd walk away from you right now." He laughs at me and I glare at him. "Come on, Kellin, let's go downstairs. I'll make breakfast." I nod, but still keep my glare since I have yet to forgive him.

He picks me up and carries me down the stairs. He carries me into the dining room where he sits me in a chair while he enters the kitchen to begin cooking. My dad then walks in with Cope in his arms. "Morning, dad."

"Good morning, Kellin." He walks over to me and gives me a hug before handing Copeland to me. She smiles and hugs me as soon as she's in my arms. "How was she," I ask him.

"Fine. She stayed asleep the whole night and I fed her her bottle when she woke up." I nod and set Copeland in my lap. Vic comes in with five plates of food and sets them on the table before walking back into the kitchen only to appear with one of Coco's princess plates.

He sets the plate on her high chair before taking her from me and sitting her in the high chair as well. Once that's done, I grab my phone from the table and go to Jesse's contact where I press message. I write him a text that consisted of four words - I lost my virginity.

Soon after, I'm bombarded with messages from him.

You did?!?!?!

How was it?!?!



Tell me!!!!!!!!

I roll my eyes and begin to answer his questions. Yes, beautiful, no, and he was gentle. I press send and not long after, I hear my phone bing indicating a message has come.

Awwww, my baby's all grown up!!!!

I chuckle a bit. Shut up, Jesse. How are you and Jaime?

We're great, he responds. He says hi by the way.

Tell him I say hi, I text him back.

And that's how our conversation went. Vic picks me up and carries me into the living room, setting me down on the couch. "I'm going out, I'll be back soon, though, okay?"

"Okay, Vic. Bye. I love you," I tell him. He leans down and pecks my forehead, "I love you, too." He walks off only to appear with Cope. Then he leaves. I set Cope down on the floor, watching her as she played with her toys. I loved watching my kids be kids.

I turn on the tv and look through the channels, but turn it off when I find nothing interesting on. I never did get what was so appealing about television. The boys seemed to love it, though.

I missed Vic the four hours he was gone and I couldn't do anything to pass time. My dad was the one who placed Cope down for her nap and the boys were playing games. Finally, Vic returned home and I felt my mood brighten. "Kellin, we're going out." I give him a confused look, but nod.

"Jeuse, watch the kids," he calls to my dad and he picks me up. Not bothering to put on my shoes. He carried to me to the car he had prepared and he drove out of HQ. I was extremely confused, but curious as well. He drove for a good while until I recognized where we were.

The beach was beautiful in the evening. He carries me somewhere and I gasp when I see what he had set up. He had laid a blanket down with rose pedals on and around it. There was a candle and food and I felt tears build in my eyes.

He sets me down and I had to smile. "It's beautiful," I tell him. He sits across from me and begins feeding me the fruit salad he packed. We had a beautiful time and when I thought it was over, he stood me up. I looked at him in confusion, but I gasp when he takes my hand and gets down on one knee.

"Kellin, I love you. So much more than you'll ever know. For the longest time, I was a cruel and selfish man. And maybe I still am selfish for asking this of you. But I don't care. When I met you, my life changed for the better. I've asked myself, 'How has such a bitter person become the man I am?' But it's because of you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I want you to always be there to make me a better person. So, will you marry me?" He then takes out the box and opens it, showing me the ring.

It was a simple silver band with one small blue-green diamond in the center. I feel myself before I can even speak. The tears fall freely and I'm nodding more enthusiastically. "Yes," I whisper and he gets up and hugs me close before connecting our lips. "Yes, yes, yes," I mumble against his lips.

We pull back and slides the ring onto my finger. I look at it and smile. Then I look at him. "Yes."



That's it. It's over. I thank you all for being here with me, but it is finally done.

Chapter Text

So, I have decided there will be a sequel. But it'll be one where if you want Kellic to survive, you shouldn't read it. It's not required since the ending is happy, but if you want more, well then read ahead. I have decided to name it You're The One Who Shot Me.

Kellin and Vic's wedding was coming up. No gang was having problems with anyone else. Their wedding was in a week. Kellin was excited to finally be a Fuentes and his kids grew each day. His relationship with Vic was going amazingly and he had never felt better than with Vic.

But on the day of their wedding day, a new gang attacked. And the gang leader liked how Kellin looked, kidnapping him on what should have been the greatest day of Kellin and Vic's life? With old memories triggered, how will Kellin survive without Vic to help him forget?

That is, until the gang leader slowly starts falling for Kellin, and Kellin might just start harboring feelings for him as well.