The phone rang. Normally this would be a pleasant sound in Psyga’s ears, but it was in the middle of his sleep, which at this point would be around 3-4 AM. Psyga groggily picked up the phone and hit answer.
“Hello?” Psyga asked.
“Hey, are you interested in April Showers?” The caller asked.
“... Why the hell would I be interested in rain?” Psyga asked.
“No, no, I mean... You know Archive of our Own, right?”
“Well, we’re having a sort of celebration of all things fanfic for the month of April, and that includes writing at least one story for this month!”
“So you want me to write one up?”
“Yeah! If you have the time, I can recommend some fandoms for you to work with!”
“Alright, name them.” At this point, the caller listing off the fandoms would be like someone counting sheep for him.
“Haven’t seen it.”
“Haven’t read it, and I’m more of a Hunger Games guy.”
“The Apple ‘Get a Mac’ Commercials...”
“Ha- wait, what?” Psyga sprung out of bed the moment he heard that.
“You know the ‘Hi, I’m a Mac, and I’m a PC’ Commercials?”
“They have fanfics for those!”
“WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT! WHAT!” Psyga kept on saying that as he opened the lights, turned on the computer, and got onto Word. He stared at the blinking cursor as soon as he finished screaming what.
“So, does that mean you’re on for the Mac Commercials?” The caller asked.
“Y-yeah...” Psyga said.
“Cool, I’ll get someone to help you via Skype. We hope to see your fanfic sometime in the future.” The caller hung up. Psyga continued to stare.
“... What the hell do I write!?” Psyga asked.
“Hi, I’m a Mac!” The man representing Mac said.
“And I’m a PC.” The man representing PC said.
Silence filled the room for five seconds before they latched onto each other and made out.
“No, no, no! I can’t have them making love on the spot! I need them to bitch at each other before they have angry sex!” Psyga said. Suddenly, he heard the Skype Ping. He noticed that the Skype turned to Video Call mode. On the other side showed someone who could pass for Miss Daisy if she had golden skin, big red-rimmed glasses, and a bigger gray hat.
“Hello. Are you Psyga?” She asked.
“Y-yeah. How did you enable video call? I don’t have a working webcam.” Psyga said.
“The Organization for Transformative Works has their ways to ensure fellow authors keep in touch. I was told you may need help with the fanfic.” She said.
“... I... Yeah. I need help with this fanfic.”
“Good. My name’s Agatha K. Yearling, an author of a well-known series of books and member of the OTW. So, what seems to be the problem?”
“I need to start it off with a conversation before I start with making out.”
“... Are you writing a ship fic?”
“Don’t. Stand out among the crowd. There’s not a lot of fanfics out there, but already the number of Mac/PC ship fics outweigh the non-ship fics. You need to be original.” Yearling said.
“So... What’s your idea?”
“Make it adventurous! Epic! Amazing!” Yearling’s suggestion began to spark interest in Psyga’s mind. He rushed to type out the story.
“I think I got it!” Psyga said.
“Hi, I’m a Mac!” The man representing Mac said.
“And I’m a PC.” The man representing PC jogged in place.
“And... what are you doing?” Mac turned to PC.
“I’m doing what the new kids are calling... Overclocking. Basically I can be faster than I was built to be...” PC said.
“And that means what, exactly?”
“It means I can run circles around you. While you boast about your iMovies and your iLifes and your iWives, I will be too busy punching out both your kidneys.”
“Well, I doubt that’d be possib-”
“Useless.” PC began to punch the living snot out of Mac. “USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS!” With one final punch, PC spread his hands out. “OVERCLOCK!” Time slowed down around PC. He saw Mac floating mid-air. “See, I can move so fast that time itself stops!” PC took out a gun and fired several bullets at Mac. “Underclock. Let the flow of time resume.” PC said. The bullets enter Mac, the force of all of them hitting at once knocked him to the side. Mac crawled.
“Please... Mercy!” PC walked to Mac.
“Hm... SCRUB!” And with that, PC stomped on Mac.
“What the hell was that?” Yearling asked.
“What? It was adventurous!” Psyga said.
“I didn’t mean make it bizarre!” Yearling said.
“Well, what did you want me to do?” Psyga asked.
“At the very least be faithful to the source material! PC never wants to hurt Mac. At best, he and Mac are just friends who have their scoffs, PC being the stuck-up businessman and Mac being the young, hip kid with a rich life ahead of him. Imagine all the contrasts! Business vs. Pleasure! Adults vs. Kids!”
“MAC VS. PC!” Psyga typed away another story.
“WHAT?! NO!” Yearling pleaded.
Mac and PC stood and faced each other in the middle of a wild western town. Tumbleweeds blown past them as their fingers rolled around on the revolvers.
“This town ain’t big enough for the-” PC said.
“Yeah, yeah! We heard this cliché a hundred times! Let’s just duel!” Mac said. Soon, a little girl walked out of the saloon.
“Wait, where are your cards? Aren’t duels supposed to be children’s card games which are occasionally played on motorcyc- I mean horseback?” She asked.
“No. This is a duel that revolves around two things...” PC prepared his revolver. Mac did the same. “The quick...” The clock tower struck high noon. Two shots rung at the same time as the bell. “And the dead.” PC smirked as he felt nothing but a nick on his arm.
“Shit that was fast.” Mac fell over with a shot in the heart. PC twirled his gun and blew out the barrel.
“Who’s next?” PC said. His next opponent came out of the blue.
“GARBAGE DAY!” Ricky Caldwell held his revolver and fired at PC.
“NO! NO! NO!” Yearling said.
“Oh come on, Westerns are a classic!” Psyga said.
“I’m gonna post some links to the commercials so you can watch them and actually get the characterization right!” With that, she posted a link to a video containing every ‘I’m a Mac and I’m a PC’ commercial made. Psyga clicked it and groaned at the length.
“Thirty minutes? Really?” Psyga said.
“Each of the commercials are just a minute long.” Yearling said. Psyga typed up another story.
“Here, how about a story set in the Shadows Over Camelot universe?” Psyga asked.
“You can’t make a board game fanfiction!” Yearling said.
“Yet there’s a fanfiction about commercials?” Psyga asked.
“... FINE! MAKE A SHADOWS OVER CAMELOT AU!” Yearling raised her — well, they weren’t really hands, but Psyga never noticed — in protest.
“What say you, Sir Mac of Intosh?” King Arthur asked Mac at the Round Table.
“I have suffered a wound to prevent evil from progressing... And I believe I know who the stranger that lines our castle walls with siege weapons is!” Sir Mac said. He got up off the Round Table and pointed to PC. “IT IS PC, THE PRINCE OF CAMBRIDGE!” He bellowed. Ruber raised his eyebrow.
“Wait, not me? I thought I was the most evil guy here. Screw you guys, I’m gonna bunk with Mordred and Lancelot!” Ruber got up and left the Round Table. PC grinned evilly.
“Yes! It was me! PC! Now fall, knights of Camelot!” PC said. He drew a sword and tried to stab at King Arthur. Suddenly, Merlin came out.
“I CAST UPON THEE AN AZURE VISION OF YOUR DEMISE!” He flung his magic wand at PC and caused him to freeze. Within moments, PC dropped dead.
“Merlin! You revealed your magic to me! I should feel betrayed and upset by this, but for some reason I’m turned on! Make out with me Merlin!” Arthur got up, grabbed Merlin, and started making out.
“Do you always end your fanfics with two guys making out?” Yearling glared at Psyga.
“Yeah. It’s the greatest punch line to any fanfic!” Psyga said. Yearling placed her hoof onto her forehead.
“Just watch the commercials, damn it.” She said.
“Fine, fine.” Psyga said. He clicked the link and began to watch.
Five minutes passed.
“Huh... I thought Mac would be a little more passive aggressive.” Psyga said.
“Yeah. You must have been thinking of that ‘I’m a Marvel, I’m a DC’ videos... So, you think you got enough source material to write a fanfic off of?” Yearling asked.
“Mmmm... Maybe. Come to think of it, I... I think I know what to do.” Psyga began to type away.
“Hi, I’m a Mac.” Mac was in a business suit.
“And I’m a PC.” PC was wearing a black jacket, a white shirt, and blue jeans.
“You may be wondering just why we’re wearing each others’ outfits, and the truth is, we’re just different systems.” Mac said.
“Yeah. No one says that a Mac can be only for play and a PC can be only for work. In fact, they can do each others’ works. For example, Mac just put together his own spreadsheet with Numbers.” PC said.
“And PC just got his parts modified so that he can be able to play the new Titanfall.” Mac said.
“It’s not really hard to wear each other’s shoes, so I don’t see why anyone would bother to choose between us.” PC said.
“Well, we can go on Youtube and see someone rant about which is better.” Mac said.
“Alright. Come over to my house. I’ll pop the popcorn.” PC said. The two left and the subtle feuding had ceased.
“What the hell was that?” Yearling asked.
“My fanfic.” Psyga said.
“Did you just try to pull a South Park?” Yearling asked.
“Yeah. I mean, I use a PC, but I don’t use it like a businessman uses his PC.” Psyga said.
“But you’re writing fanfiction! That’s work!” Yearling said.
“Wait, it is?” Psyga asked.
“Well, it’s essentially writing a novel... except you don’t really get paid for it... Aaaarg! Why did I decide to work with you? This is the worst thing ever! You know what, just scrap the fanfic. We’re done here.” Yearling said.
“But I just published it onto Archive of Our Own.” Psyga said.
“... Celestia damn it. Well, here’s hoping we don’t tangle again.” Yearling disconnected from Skype. Meanwhile, Psyga sat back and relaxed. At the very least, he was done with his part for April Showers.