Shouto had said, one too many times, that if he hasn't gotten his appendix out when he passes the age of sixteen, then that means he'll never have to go through that ordeal. Izuku argues that it doesn't quite make sense and that he doesn't understand why the other was averse to it but for the most part, Shouto just kisses him to shut him up.
So it's a little ironic that they're in this situation.
"Feed him the crackers Deku."
Izuku sighs, "He's unconscious, Kacchan. I can't do that."
"Force open his mouth and shove them down his throat."
Kacchan had endured Izuku's mopping fairly well for someone of his temperament so Izuku isn't entirely surprised that he finally, finally snaps.
"Well then do something other than being fucking disgusting!" Being the brute he is despite the anger management classes he'd blown up back in UA, he takes his shoe off and throws it towards Izuku's direction, "I didn't come here to watch you wallow in grief, for fuck sake, the halfie's not fucking dead!"
I know that, Izuku wants to say, but can't because he has a face currently full of Kacchan's dirty grandpa shoe. In all honesty he'd be pleasantly surprised if he isn't sporting a concussion right now. If there was one thing more painful than getting decked with a sledge hammer to the face then it was Kacchan's mean right throw, which meant that if he didn't contract severe, irreparable brain damage then the next best thing was probably a broken neck.
"I'm-" he coughs a little and unsticks the shoe from his face, "I'm not wallowing."
Kacchan snorts, crossing his arms aggressively against his chest "I'm not wallowing my fucking arse, the fuck you weren't," Izuku ignores his scathing glare, "It's been two fucking hours and you haven't fucked up my eardrum yet with your incessant prattling."
"I take offense to that," he replies, pursing his lip into a subtle pout, "You're twice as bad as me and that's on a good day."
"The fuck did you say? And give me back my fucking shoe."
He sends his volatile friend an extremely dry stare as he hands over the said object. Kacchan snatches it out his hand with a faint grumble and shoves it back into his foot just as swiftly.
"It's not exactly a secret that your default volume is set to one hundred and ten decibels, Kacchan," He watches as the blond squares his jaw in defense, "And you wonder why Aizawa-sensei turned deaf."
"I'll turn you deaf." Kacchan snarls which just proves his point, god why is he dealing with such a problematic child -
Izuku raises his hands up and says, "I rest my case."
Before Kacchan could potentially drive Izuku into a coma via his shoe - again - their mildly friendly repartee was interrupted by a groan. God bless Shouto, the little pyromaniac he is.
"Shouto!" He doesn't hide his relief as a set of eyelids flutter open to reveal heterochromatic eyes. (And whether it's relief for Shouto or for himself however, because Kacchan wouldn't hesitate on smacking him down two or three hundred pegs, Izuku decides that it'd be much wiser if he drags that secret with him to the grave.)
He stands up and carefully, he reaches behind Shouto's back and helps him sit upright, "How are you feeling?"
A part of him wishes he didn't ask that, because it's quite obvious that for someone that's gone through a recent surgery, Shouto looked just about ready to partake in a domestic commercial, and this was a recurring theme - never mind the situation currently posed (World domination by the extreme glossophobic? Looks like he'd come out of an official Vogue photoshoot) compared to Izuku's perpetual state of chaos and uncooperative bedheads, standing next to Shouto was like a KCA beside a Grammy.
How criminally unfair does the world have to be, Izuku thinks wryly, For him to be always so well put together?.
It does take a few seconds for the man to gain some semblance of awareness however. Then he says, regal in every aspect, and totally unfair again, "Shit."
"Appendix surgery can apparently fucking do that to you," says Kacchan, friendly, just teetering on slightly murderous, "Welcome back to the land of the living half-and-half bastard. You better be fucking thankful I watched over your idiot for you," He points to where Izuku was fluffing up Shouto's pillows to get him comfortable, and scoffs at the raspberry Izuku gives him, "Better yet, you owe me a fucking favour."
Izuku sits back down and watches as Shouto leans back and lifts his head to Kacchan, tracing the direction to where the blond's fingers were currently pointing to. His mismatched eyes settle on him and Izuku instinctively gives him a gentle smile, "Don't listen to the grumpy old cat, Shouto-"
"Grumpy old cat-" Kacchan splutters.
"-if you ignore it long enough, it's like he's not even there," He advises sagely, smiling a little wider as he places his elbow on the bed beside Shouto's thigh, rests his chin on his hand and tilts his head in mischief, "It works for me."
"I'm going to fucking kill you in your sleep Deku." Kacchan growls but Izuku takes his own advice and ignores the fuming prissy cat in the room.
Shouto blinks once, slowly, then again, this time a little faster before he's staring at him with the same unnerving intensity that compels Izuku to flush.
With a fair degree of concern, he straightens up and reaches for Shouto's right hand with his own, "Shouto? What's wrong?"
"Am I dead?" Shouto says, not an ounce of jest in his tone.
He wasn't quite expecting the question and neither was Kacchan by the looks of how one of his eyebrows was receding into his hairline.
"I'm sorry?" Izuku says, caught off guard. The other repeats it with a little more promptness.
"Am I dead?" Shouto says again.
Izuku catches Kacchan's inquisitive gaze, mirroring the blond's confusion. He then flicks his gaze back up to Shouto, who looked a little dazed.
He says, "Um. No?" with an unsure lilt at the end.
"Then how?" came the stubborn inquiry.
"How is it possible that an Angel is holding my hand?"
What the fuck
"What the fuck?" Kacchan appeared to be thinking along the same lines as him. Although unlike Izuku who can't seem to pick up his jaw from the floor, Kacchan hadn't short-circuited into a complete system breakdown.
He looks sober for someone waxing lyrical about my state of existence, Izuku thinks and that takes immense skill, that.
Shouto is relentless on giving him a full body hemorrhage though because he doesn't look like he'd be shutting up any time soon, "You're the most beautiful person I've ever laid my eyes on," The other blinks, staring at something on his cheeks, "Are those stars on your face?"
Whatever meds the the bi-coloured boy was on must pack a whopper because he sounds high as a bloody kite.
"N-No - Jesus, god, no," He stutters, feeling severely light-headed with all these compliments because wow, Shouto only compliments him this much when he's either drunk or horny, "They're just - they're freckles."
"Freckles?" Shouto purses his lips into a pout and then nods in understanding, "Understandable. The stars in your eyes look different than the ones on your face."
What does that even mean, Izuku screeches, just as Shouto shifts his gaze from his cheeks to peer intensely at Izuku's eyes, "There. Now I'm certain that I'm looking at the universe."
Kacchan makes a really concerning wheezing sound.
"Thank you, Shouto," He says, for lack of anything other to say. He ducks his head, feeling much like he did when Shouto first asked him out during their UA graduation ceremony in front of the entire school, " I'm flattered."
"If I'm seeing the universe in your eyes, does that mean you're my universe?"
"Jesus fucking Christ - " Kacchan chokes on actual giggles and Izuku hopes he continues choking until he desists breathing.
He tries to summon some modicum of composure while he replies, as evenly and with more logic than the situation required, "Well, that's up for you to decide, Shouto."
"Okay," Shouto nods resolutely, "I apologise for my short answers. I'm still attempting to compute your beauty as something corporeal."
Izuku's not quite sure who to be worried about. Shouto doesn't seem to realise what he's saying and Kacchan's face had shifted from pale peach to full on crimson in a matter of seconds.
"Is he fucking hitting on you-?" Kacchan chortles brokenly between his attempts at concealing his mirth. Compared to UA, this was light years ahead of his prickly personality. Hell, it was even polite.
Izuku sends him a smile that he hopes isn't as tremulous as he felt, "I think so."
"You would make me the happiest man alive if you could accompany me to dinner later on." Okay, Shouto clearly needs to shut up because Kacchan is actually turning purple.
"T-That's-" The blond looks absolutely spent, "Holy shit - shut him up Deku-"
"Also, would you be amenable to growing old together?" Shouto means it, oh my god, he looks completely serious, "I'd like us to grow old together. I don't have much bad habits, though I do have a preference to the left side of the bed," he then frowns contemplatively, "If that doesn't please you, I am willing to compromise."
"I fucking can't-" Kacchan had somehow magically procured a phone in his hands, "Oh my god-"
"Um. No, that's quite alright, Shouto." Izuku whispers, mortified and touched in equal amounts.
"Are you accepting my proposition then?"
He gives up and sighs, "You know what - why not?"
Shouto doesn't quite smile but his eyes brightens up and he's looking at Izuku like he's just handed him the sun, the moon and the stars, "May I request your phone number then? For future correspondence?"
"Future correspondence -" Kacchan gasps, "Holy shit, holy shit-"
"That won't be necessary."
The other visibly deflates and oh - Izuku feels his heart melting, "May I ask why?" He sounds so disheartened - a man after his heart all over again.
Izuku decides to divulge the truth. He stands up, almost laughing when a panicked look overcomes Shouto's face as he leans in and plants a kiss on his lips.
"Because I'm your husband, silly."
Shouto seemed to have malfunctioned for a bit.
He nods, "The one and only."
Izuku nods again, lips stretching wider.
The watery glaze in Shouto's eyes when he says, "You're mine?" compels his heart to skip a beat or two.
He leans in again, ignoring Kacchan's gagging, and nuzzles their forehead together, "Now and for however long you would have me."
Shouto really looked like he's about to have a solid mental breakdown, "I think I've just hit the jackpot."
"Charmed," Izuku says, before deciding that he should really alert the nurse that his husband was finally awake, though not entirely sober. He places another chaste kiss on Shouto's lips, watching the way the other chases him when he retracts and says, "I'll get you a nurse and see if we can arrange a dinner date at home."
Kacchan breaks when Izuku finally leaves and Shouto says, "How did I manage that?"