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A Man, a Girl, and a Castle

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Jaqen : Arya, I know you're a girl.


Arya : What ? How ?


Jaqen : You're still mourning your father. You almost killed that baker boy out of your grief. And you're too cute to be a boy tbh.


Arya : Oh.


Jaqen : You saved me and the two I was with. I'll give you three deaths. Choose whom to kill.


Arya : Jaqen, run away with me !


Jaqen : I can't. Three lives I will give you...


Arya : But Jaqen ! We can find my brother !


Jaqen : Listen, Arya, I know you keep staring at me, you're always babbling how cool I am, how beautiful my hair is, how I smile and so on. I'll give you three lives and a kiss and we're done.




Arya : Seven hells ! A hot boy kissed me.



Some time later...



Jaqen : Arya ! I'm bathing, go away !


Arya : I have a second name.


Jaqen : I'm listening. Ok. Now, go ! Seriously, stop staring, go !



Some time later...



Arya : Jaqen, I need you. Please, free the northern men with me.


Jaqen : Lovely girl, you have only one name left. Which guard do you want me to kill ?


Arya : Jaqen, one guard is not enough ! You must kill them all !


Jaqen : Lovely girl, tell me a name of that one dude you want me to kill and we're even.


Arya : Jaqen H'ghar !


Jaqen : Lovely girl ! A man hurts ! After all I've done ! A girl will weep. A girl will lose her only friend.


Arya : You're not my friend ! A friend would help. I would never hurt a friend !


Jaqen : Ok, ok. Don't cry. Arya, seriously, don't cry, I can't stand your tears ! I'm your friend, I swear it, I'll do it !


Arya : Thank you, Jaqen.


Jaqen : Let's go.


Arya : Now ?!


Jaqen : Now. A man has no time to talk. Balon Greyjoy won't kill himself.



Some time later...



Arya : You ruined my shift with the blood of that guard.


Jaqen : You ruined my schedule.


Arya : Please, don't go Jaqen !


Jaqen : A man must. A dragon egg is waiting for me.


Arya : I would love to see a dragon !


Jaqen : Just so. Dragons are cool !


Arya : I have a direwolf. Maybe they can play together.


Jaqen : Just so.


Arya : I'll miss you Jaqen. If I ever meet that stupid Hound again I will praise you until his ears start bleeding.


Jaqen : A man knows. Here.


Arya : What is it ?


Jaqen : My phone number. Call me in a couple of years when you grow tits.


Arya : Ok.