"It's really not fair that you get to make me question my sexuality and still be in denial yourself," Jon says irritably.
"But I'm not gay, Jon," Stephen insists.
"And what, you just couldn't make it in straight porn?"
Stephen glares at him. "It's gay for pay, Jon. Don't read too much into it."
"Don't read—Tyrone, you have sex with men!" Jon exclaims in disbelief, waving an arm. "How is that not gay?"
"For. Pay ."
"Oh excuse me for not knowing all the terminology, I'm not as well-versed with the culture as you. 'Cause see until I met you I thought I was straight."
"It's okay for you to be gay, Jon!" Stephen snaps. "You're a wishy-washy, anti-establishment, tree-hugging liberal."
"'Liberal ' isn't a euphemism for 'gay '!" Jon shouts. "And if you're not gay, what the hell do you call it when I'm fucking you into the mattress until you scream my name? Huh?! Because I'm sure as hell not paying you, and I like to think you're not tweaked outta your mind every time we do it!"
Stephen recoils as if struck, eyes widening.
"What-What do you call that?" Jon demands, a helpless quality entering his voice. "Because it—It sounds pretty gay to me."
"A mistake," Stephen croaks, mind whirling. He's not gay. He can't be. No matter how much he loves feeling Jon's hands on him, his lips, his shy smile, his laugh, the way he just accepts Stephen without making any demands that he be or do...anything—Stephen T. Colbert is not gay! "It was a mistake!"
Jon stares at him, hurt flooding his features, and Stephen just can't take it. Shoving past him, ignoring the man's pleading shout of "Ty!" Stephen slams out of the apartment and down the stairs.
His body is screaming for a fix and if it means he doesn't have to think about Jon and the look on Jon's face and all the feelings Jon makes him feel, then Stephen can't think of any reason not to. He doesn't have anything with him but the clothes on his back, and his wallet is almost empty, but his feet know the way to Donnie's and the man always has a part for Tyrone. A part Stephen can bury himself in, with the fire in his veins and humming of his skin and pleasure soaking his brain and taking away all the thoughts he doesn't want to think.
Wrapping himself in his resolve, Stephen leaves Jon behind as he heads for Donnie's office, pulling on Tyrone's coy and carefree flirtiness to keep his feet moving.