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Something That I've Never Known

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"I just really like you.”

"You just make me feel strong, Midoriya.”

It had been nearly two months since his and Kirishima’s first date, and those words were stuck plaything through his head nearly every day. They gave him a sense of security and warmth that gave Izuku the strength to get up and do his best every day. But they also filled him with something that he wasn’t sure about, and today he was going to get to the bottom of it.

The common room of Class 1-A’s dormitory is mostly empty this time of the morning on a Saturday—only Uraraka and Kirishima are present when Izuku walks in to join them. Uraraka’s body is draped over the counter by the coffee maker and Kirishima is relaxing on the couch as if he wants to go back to sleep but doesn’t want to waste the day away in bed. When he sees Izuku coming to join them, Kirishima’s head perks up.

Kirishima hops up over the back of the couch and walks over to Izuku to plant a kiss on his cheek. “Mornin’, babe,” he says and Izuku’s face goes red. “You got a minute? I’ve been having some issues with Ectoplasm’s homework; do you think you can help?”

“Ah, I can’t, I’m sorry.” Izuku says, his voice a little guilty. “I totally forgot to mention, I’m actually going to go see my mom today.”

“You’re going home this weekend?” Uraraka asks him, the new information waking her up just a little bit more.

“Ah, yeah!” Izuku replies. “Just for Saturday though, and I’ll be back before curfew.”

Kirishima lets his head fall forwards onto Izuku shoulder and lets out a groan. “Aw man, alright,” he says, picking his head back up and taking Izuku’s hands in his own. “I hope you and your mom have a good time!”

“We will!” Izuku nods. “Oh, Kirishima. I found this cool documentary on top heroes through the ages, and it has a really cool segment on Crimson Riot I thought you’d like. If you want to watch it, you can come by my room when I get back tonight?

Kirishima smiles and kisses his forehead before he lets go of Izuku’s hands.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely stop by! Thanks Midoriya!” Kirishima exclaims. “I’m gonna go find Bakugou and see if he can help me figure this homework out, wish me luck!” And then he was off.

Izuku sighed. Spending time with Kirishima was something he found himself always looking forward to nowadays. He felt drawn to his bright smile and the warmth and comfort that Kirishima seemed to radiate.

Recently, however, Izuku wasn’t sure exactly what he was feeling. It was warm and strong, and it felt like a stranglehold on his heart—in a good way. When he was younger, if there was something he wasn’t sure about he would talk to his mother about it, knowing that she would have the answer. He hoped that visiting her could help shed some light on his own emotional state.

After Kirishima had left, Uraraka managed to pry herself on the countertop to stand up straight, a cup of coffee now in hand. “Any reason you decided to go home today, Deku?” she asks. “Is it about your new boyyyfriend?”

“Not… entirely?” Izuku answers, lamely. Uraraka had been relentless in her teasing of him since his first date with Kirishima. Which, Izuku thought, was pretty fair payback considering how much Izuku panicked over asking him out in the first place. And—unfortunately for Izuku–she knew him too well and was spot on with her teasing. “Its been a while since we got to really see each other, so I feel like I should go and see how she’s doing. Plus, there are some… things that I want to ask her about.”

“Things about your new boyyyfriend?” Uraraka questions, her face resembling a Cheshire Cat’s shit-eating grin.

Izuku’s face fell into his hands. “Uraraka, I don’t even know if I can call him my boyfriend yet, we haven’t talked about that at all.”

Uraraka’s face falls flat, clearly not sold on his denial. “Haven’t you two have been meeting up for dates for weeks now?” she asks.

“Well yeah but we still haven’t talked about him being my boyfriend yet.”

“Deku, he kissed you on the cheek and on the forehead and called you ‘babe’, all like, two minutes before this conversation. I’m pretty sure he’s your boyfriend.”


 

A visit to his mother was long overdue, Izuku thinks.

Izuku trailed the distantly familiar path from the train station to his home. His second year at U.A. had begun, and Izuku felt a yearning to return to the place he spent his childhood. The familiar small-time novelty shops and the familiar faces fill with an overwhelming sense of bittersweet nostalgia. These streets were where Izuku had spent some of his worst days, hiding in back alleys while running from bullies and trying to not let his crying be heard.

Those days were in the past now, and Izuku grew up to know much worse things than bullies. The terrifying aura of the Hero Killer’s resolve, the core shaking, crippling fear that Izuku felt during All Might’s last fight at Kamino, and much, much worse. The bullies of yesteryear could never hope to hold a candle to that.

But Izuku also knew better things now too.

To Izuku, these streets were also a marker for how far he’d come in the past two years. Izuku knew the feeling of unconditional support from his teachers and classmates now. He knew real friendship now—people who Izuku would do anything for, and who would do anything for him. He had people who loved him.

Love

Love was why he was here today. He loved his mother, and it had been way too long since they last got to see each other in person, but that wasn’t the only reason he decided to come back home.

“I just really like you.”

Izuku could feel the warmth in his cheeks as the memory of his and Kirishima’s first date comes back to him. The two of them had spent a lot of time together since then, going on similar study dates or just hanging out together. Although they never discussed the label they placed on their relationship, Izuku would even consider them to be dating at this point—if Kirishima’s pet-names and brief kisses to his cheeks or forehead were anything to go by.

Kirishima was nice, funny, dedicated, loyal, and all-around fun to be around. Being able to spend time with Kirishima was something that Izuku was extremely grateful for.

“You just make me feel strong, Midoriya.”

Kirishima had said that Izuku made him feel strong. Izuku isn’t sure how to describe what Kirishima makes him feel.

Mainly because Kirishima makes him feel like something he’s never known.

He should know this, Izuku thinks. A feeling in the back of his mind tells him that he does know this. But if Izuku knew how to articulate these feelings then he wouldn’t be having this problem.

He’s known for a while that he likes Kirishima a lot, but now Izuku feels like he might be in love for the first time—and as he approaches the door of his mother’s apartment, he can only hope she won’t tease him too much.


 

“Mom? I’m home!”

Her son’s voice calling out through her home once again makes Inko’s head whip towards her front door. Izuku’s standing in her doorway again after so long, and she can’t help herself. Inko’s on her feet in an instant, freely crying—and that makes Izuku cry, she knows it does even though her vision is blurred because that’s just how her son is.

“I, uhm,” his voice is shaky, but he sounds happy and overwhelmingly fond and oh how Inko missed this. “I wanted to come and see you,” he says finally.

Inko can’t not smile as she tries to dry her eyes to no avail. “Oh, Izuku,” she says, her voice just as shaky as her son. “I missed you so much.”

Izuku hugs her.

Inko missed this. Her baby boy had grown up to be so big and strong. He’d gotten taller than her, and lived away from home, but no matter what he was always the same Izuku.

When they finally stopped crying, Inko directed her son to sit down at the kitchen table while she prepared something to eat (it was a little early for dinner, but Izuku was home for the first time in months and there was no way she was letting him leave without feeding him something).

“So,” Inko asked while fishing through their refrigerator for ingredients she could use. “What made you decide to come visit little old me, Izuku?”

“U-uhm, well!” he stammers out. “It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other in person, and I just… sort of figured that it would be nice to come and talk?”

He’s babbling. Inko knows from years of experience dealing with Izuku that that means he’s nervous about something. When he was younger, he’d do this whenever he came home with a new bruise and mumbled out an excuse—that Inko knew was a lie—about how he tripped and fell again (and again, and again).

Was he nervous about talking to her? Had something happened he doesn’t want her to know about? Inko isn’t sure, but the best thing to do for now is to see if he has more to say.

“I see,” Inko smiles and decides to save preparing the meal for after they talk. She moves over to sit opposite Izuku at the table, placing her hands on the wooden surface and lacing her fingers together. “What do you want to talk about, dear?”

At her prodding, Izuku flushes red and averts his gaze and that’s… new. She’s known her son for over sixteen years and not once has she ever seen him look so… so… flustered?

In her confusion, Inko decides to continue to press further. “Is something the matter?”

“No!” Izuku exclaims, his eyes flicking to meet hers straight on before his gaze falls again. He’s definitely blushing now. “No, everything’s… great actually. It’s just, uhm…”

Inko lets him take his time this time. He seems to be trying to get the words out, at least, rather than hide from her. She takes this as a positive sign and waits for him to find out how to say what he wants to say.

“When… When dad was around,” he starts to speak before he trails off, and that’s even more of a surprise. Izuku hasn’t asked after his father since… well she can’t even remember a time when he asked about Hisashi.

“When he was around, were you happy? And, u-uhm, and in love?” he finishes, his voice growing small.

“Of course, we were in love, Izuku.” Inko answers “That’s why we agreed to have you, my sweet baby boy.”

She was still confused by his questioning. What had happened that had sparked Izuku’s curiosity in his father after all this time? “Is there something you want to know about Hisashi, sweetie?” she asks.

“N-no, no not that,” Izuku says. He looks positively mortified now, and Inko’s curiosity peaks.

“Well then sweetie, what do you want to know?” she asks as patiently as she can.

His face is as red as a tomato as he fumbles with his words, starting and stopping his statements with an “I just-”, and an “I, uhm,” but never getting any farther.

Inko takes her sons hands, smiling like she did whenever her baby boy would come to her with a problem as a child. “Izuku, honey, whatever it is you can talk to me about it, I promise.”

“I know that,” he answers, looking at her dead on. “It’s just… how did you, uhm, you know, ‘know’?”

“Know what, Izuku?”

“That, uh,” he looks away, his voice small again. “That you and dad were in love…?”

Oh.

“Well,” Inko starts, standing up and coming over to sit next to Izuku on his seat. “Your father made me happy. He was very smart, and kind, and thoughtful, and he treated me very well while we were together.”

Inko sighs. Work had split her and Hisashi apart, but for a time they were very much in love. “Back when we were dating, whenever he’d take me home at the end of the night the only thing I could think about was the next time I’d see him,” she says, and Izuku nods urging her to go on. “I think I first knew I was in love when I realized that being together made me feel like… like something that I never knew before him.”

She looks to Izuku as she finishes speaking and can’t help but feel a bit guilty that she couldn’t explain better than that. Izuku looks confused and contemplative, his hand is pressed against his mouth and she can barely make out through the subtle movement of his face that he must be muttering to himself.

“Oh Izuku, I’m sorry,” she apologizes. “I really should be able to give you a better answer than that, this is just a bit more difficult to put into words than I’d hope.”

“No, it’s okay,” Izuku says, his eyes still staring intently forward and away from her as if he’s only vaguely listening to her, focusing more on his own thoughts. “I know exactly what you mean.”

The silence that fills the apartment in next few moments seems to stretch on for an eternity. Izuku still focused on his own thoughts, not realizing what he just said.

Did he just…

“Izuku…” Inko starts, her voice barely above a whisper. “Izuku are you…in love?”

That catches his attention. Izuku’s head jumps up and he’s caught like a deer in the headlights, clearly not meaning to give that particular bit of information away like that. If he looked mortified earlier, then Inko doesn’t even possess the vocabulary to describe the look of embarrassment plastered across her son’s face. 

“I- uhm...” Izuku stammers, clearly understanding how much his slip of the tongue cornered him just now. “Maybe? That’s, uhm, kind of what I wanted to talk to you about…?”

And oh, Inko could cry. Her beautiful, wonderful baby boy could be in love for the first time, and she hasn’t felt this emotional since Izuku left home for the school dormitories. Inko reaches over and pulls Izuku into a crushing hug. Even though her son’s growing up more and more each day, and she isn’t quite ready to let go just yet, Inko’s just glad that she still gets times like these were she gets to be a part of it.

She pulls herself together and manages to pull herself away from Izuku to look at his face for when she speaks next. “Tell me everything,” she says.

Izuku smiles.


 

 

“It’s, uhm, I’ve mentioned Kirishima before?” Izuku asks. “He’s got red hair, he fought against Kacchan in the Sports Festival in the first year?”

His mother nods as she brings a tray of tea for the two of them. They’ve since relocated to the couch in hopes of relieving any tension or awkwardness that Izuku might be feeling while he speaks.

Izuku takes his cup off the tray his mother holds out for him. “Well, it’s uh,” he continues. “It’s him. The one who I like.”

His mom sits down next to him, seemingly intent on not interrupting him until he’s said everything he wants to say.

“He’s really nice,” Izuku says. “Our internships sort of… overlapped? And we just sort of started to talk more and spent more time together because of that. I don’t even know when anything changed between us, but whenever I had issues with my confidence after that, or whenever I needed anything at all, he was there for me. And before I knew it I was just… He was just always on my mind?”

“I actually, uhm, sort of asked him out? It was a few weeks ago but I’ve been talking about this with Iida and Uraraka, and Uraraka kept saying that if I liked him I should ask him out, so I did.” Izuku can tell he’s very close to beginning to babble again and takes another sip of his tea to collect himself. “We just studied together and talked and stuff, but it was really nice. He told me that he thought I was amazing, and that I made him feel strong, and it was so surreal to hear that from him because I know that Kirishima is an amazing person and that he makes me feel the same way. We’ve been, uh, going out like that for a few weeks now.”

“He’s really endearing too,” Izuku continues, his voice losing its timid edge as thoughts of his boyfriend(?) race through his mind. “He’s got a great smile, and he’s got a good sense for how to talk to someone without making them feel uncomfortable. He’s really strong and he always tries his best and he just…” Izuku’s voice trails off. He could talk about how wonderful Kirishima for hours on end, but he does want to get to the point before he has to leave his mother’s home again. “He just makes me smile, and I know I like him a lot and I have a lot of fun when we hang out, but I’ve just never felt like this before and I don’t know if that means what I think it means or if I’m just getting ahead of myself.”

Izuku takes a deep breath and sets his tea down before he turns to face his mother. She’s got a tearful smile and her hands are pressed close to her heart. “So, I wanted to ask you what you thought about all this because I figured that if there was anybody who could tell me if what I think I was feeling was what I was actually feeling it would be you.”

“Oh Izuku,” his mother starts, her voice shaky but full of overwhelming fondness and loving that Izuku always missed when he moved away. “Izuku, I know what I think this could be. But what’s important is what you feel, not what anybody else thinks. If you don’t know how you’re feeling, then test yourself. When you think of Kirishima like that, does it feel right? And if it feels right, then Izuku I think it just might be true.”

Izuku’s head falls back against the couch and he lets his thoughts run wild. When Uraraka had been teasing him this morning, even though he protested to the title, hearing her refer to Kirishima as his boyfriend had felt good. Every time Kirishima smiled at him he felt lighter, and Izuku knew he did love spending time with Kirishima. He hasn’t felt as happy as he does with Kirishima since his acceptance to Yuuei. Kirishima didn’t just make him feel happy, he made him feel like he could be everything that was expected of him and more. Kirishima made him feel right.

If identifying what these feelings were was just a matter of deciding what felt right then, well…

“Mom,” Izuku started, his voice small but confident. “I think… I think I might be in love?”

His mother cried and hugged him again, and Izuku couldn’t think to do anything except hug back. 


 

 

Midoriya <3 [8:36]:

               Hey! I’m back at the dorms now, do you still want to come over?

 

Me [8:37]:

               yeah definitely!         

               ill be there in like ten

               how was your trip home? you have fun?

 

Midoriya <3 [8:38]:

               Yep! We had fun!

               I, uh, told her about us? I hope that’s okay

 

Me [8:38]:

               oh yeah man thats cool!

               what’d she say?

 

“Oi, shitty hair if you aren’t gonna pay attention I’m not tutoring your dumb ass anymore.”

Bakugou’s words snapped his attention back up from his phone. “Ah, sorry man. Midoriya just let me know he was back at the dorms so I’m gonna call it quits on the cramming for tonight.”

“Whatever,” Bakugou scoffed, closing his textbook. “Don’t come crying to me if you fail any tests because you were too busy drooling over your shitty boyfriend to study.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Bakugou.” Eijirou stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry. “What’s the matter, jealous?”

Bakugou’s glare was downright venmous. “As—fucking—if. Get the fuck out of here already and let me go to bed.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eijirou said, gathering up his things and stepping out into the hallway. “’Night Bakugou, thanks for the help!”

“Whatever, go see your shitty nerd already.” Bakugou said as he closed the door behind Eijirou.

Eijirou let out a sigh as he made his way towards the elevators. Bakugou and Midoriya’s relationship was nowhere near as terribly awful as it had been during the start of their first year, but it was still rocky at best. Eijirou was honestly surprised Bakugou hadn’t completely blown a gasket when talk of Eijirou’s massive crush on Midoriya had first started to make it’s rounds through their squad—Bakugou only telling everyone to leave him out of the discussion, and dropping an off-handed comment saying that “You two idiots deserve each other,” once when Eijirou had practically waxed poetic about Midoriya’s freckles during lunch period.

He’d have to talk to the two of them about whatever it was that had happened between them someday. If his best friend and his boyfriend had any kind of bad blood, Eijirou felt like he should know about it—but that was for another day.

Eijirou pulled out his phone again, as he pushed the button in the elevator for the first floor, seeing that Midoriya had replied while he was saying his goodbyes to Bakugou.

 

Midoriya <3 [8:40]:

               She said that she’s really happy for us, and that you sound like a good boyfriend

               I told her we hadn’t really talked about if you were my boyfriend yet or not but she still seemed excited!!

 

Me [8:42]:

               im not your boyfriend yet?

               well damn I thought I was

               guess i’ll have to up my game

 

Midoriya <3 [8:43]:

               Oh

               Well uh, I do very much want you to be my boyfriend so

               If you’ve already been thinking you were, I don’t have any complaints!!!

 

Me [8:44]:

               lol <3

 

Midoriya <3 [8:44]:

               <3

 

Eijirou smiled and he pocketed his phone.

The elevator doors opened and Eijirou made his way to Midoriaya’s door and knocked.


 

 

 Izuku opened his door to Kirishima’s smiling face.

“Hey there, boyfriend,” Kirishima said, playful energy abundant in his voice. “Long time no see.”

Izuku smiled and invited Kirishima in, who graciously stepped inside. “We saw each other this morning Kirishima,” Izuku says.

“That’s still way too long!”

 Izuku couldn’t help but laugh. Being with Kirishima now after talking to his mother made him feel unsure how he could have ever felt unsure about loving Kirishima.

“I…” Izuku starts. If he’s going to say what he’s thinking—no. If he’s going to say what he’s feeling, then he needs to just let himself speak. “I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”

Kirishima made his way over to Izuku’s bed and sat down on top of the sheets. “Sure thing, Midoriya,” he said, focusing on Izuku and giving him his full attention. “What’s up?”

Izuku took a deep breath, praying to any god that was listening for strength to make it through this without crying like he was prone to doing when he got emotional. “I just… I wanted to let you know that this is all a first for me. Before U.A. I never really… never really had anybody but my mom. I didn’t really have any friends, and I definitely never had a boyfriend before or anyone who cared about me like you do.”

Kirishima reached out his hand for Izuku to take, as if he knew he needed the support to say what he wanted to say, and Izuku grabbed on without question. “And all of that, that’s different now,” he continued. “I’m different now. Uraraka, Iida, Todoroki, they all mean the world to me and I’d do anything for them. But you…”

Izuku pauses, his gaze dropping to stare at their interlocked hands, watching Kirishima’s thumb trace circles on his skin.

“You said on our first date that I made you feel strong. And that meant… that meant so much more to me than I think I could ever even begin to explain. When I went home today I wanted to talk to my mom about you. And about what you made me feel, because I never thought that I could make sense out of it all. And I wanted to be able to explain it, because I’ve been wanting to tell you all of this but just didn’t know what to say."

“I’ve never felt anything like I do with you. You make me feel strong. You make me feel like… like I’m everything that I ever wanted to be. Kirishima, I’m really, really new to this but I think… I think” Izuku trails off, he knows the words now, but now that it’s time to say them his voice is caught in his throat.

“Midoriya,” Kirishima says, and Izuku looks up to see the most fond, loving gaze he’s ever known. “Can I kiss you?”

Izuku nods, and his eyes close as Kirishima leans closer.

Izuku’s first kiss is slow. Chaste, he thinks. Not that he’s ever known anything else to compare it to—but that’s fine. Izuku doesn’t think he would ever want to know anything other than this. This is warm and comfortable, just like Kirishima.

Izuku loves this feeling.

The kiss breaks away after a few moments, and Izuku keeps his eyes locked onto Kirishima’s.

“I think I love you.”

Kirishima smiles.

“I love you too, Midoriya.”