As the Stargate spitted him out the other side, Colonel O’Neill spread his arms out wide and shouted, “There’s No Place Like Home!”
After that display, Daniel started to walk down the ramp. He smiled slightly after he quietly murmured one word to himself.
Jack, who had been right by his side, nudged him in the shoulder. “What?”
Daring to say that *word* out loud, Daniel glanced sideways at his friend. “Comtraya.”
That stopped Jack in his tracks as he rolled his eyes, swearing mildly. “If I never hear that damn word again, I’ll die a happy man!”
“It's just another word, Jack,” Daniel reminded him. “It can't hurt you.”
“Oh, that's rich coming from you,” Jack scoffed. “I remember reading in your personnel file where you were laughed out of the room by your so-called peers.” Jack eyed him speculatively. “Yet you stand there telling me words can't hurt.”
“That was low, Jack.” Daniel's anger simmered below the surface. He knew that when his friend was angry he could and would lash out.
“Besides, that little man kept repeating *comtraya* nearly every time he was in my vicinity.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck. “What the hell do you spose' it meant?”
“Well we were all pretty out of the game for the most part,” Daniel admitted ruefully. “I remember Harlan used it as a greeting and also when we left for the SGC.”
“And practically in between,” Sam added, giving Daniel a supportive hug in the process.
“Yoo hoo?” Jack asked his linguistic friend.
Scrunching up his face, Daniel gave it serious thought. “Sounds about right.” Though he held up a finger which usually indicated he was about to launch into lecture mode. But seeing Jack cut him off with a quick slash to the neck told him he better keep it short. “Just was going to add,” Daniel rattled off quickly, “that it may also have various connotations in Harlan's language.” He could tell Jack was becoming twitchy and didn't want to hear his commentary. “Which is another reason to go back to that planet. If we could have stayed longer there was so much I could have learned.”
“From a *robot*?” Jack's look spoke volumes about Daniel's thought processes where Harlan and the others were concerned. “In the long run it isn't up to me anyway, you know that. After everything that's happened I doubt General Hammond would sanctioned another mission.” He could tell that Daniel didn't want to hear that. “It's a moot point considering I told them to bury their gate.” Jack's patience was thinning and he wanted Daniel to get down off his platform and see reason.
“You have to admit, sir,” Carter added as she slipped past both men, “that you might have done the same thing out of loneliness.”
“Indeed,” Teal’c’s deep voice came from behind Daniel’s position.
Hitting the bottom of the ramp, O’Neill stared at his whole team, Hammond included who had been waiting anxiously for their arrival. Waving his P-90 in the air, he all but growled. “I’d have handled things a hell of a lot differently!”
“You’d have asked their permission first?” Daniel baited him.
“Yes!” Jack snapped.
“What if they had said no.” Carter shared a smug expression with Daniel.
“Then it would have been a very short stay for them,” O’Neill scowled. “How did I suddenly become the bad guy in all of this?” He glared at Daniel who sidestepped behind Teal’c’s massive bulk.
Peeking around the Jaffa’s shoulder, Daniel grinned. “Don’t look at me, Jack. All I said was - *Comtraya*.”
The general wasn’t quite sure what all the fuss was about. He was just happy to have his premiere team back home where they belonged. “I’m sure you all can hash this out after your physicals are over.”
“Yes, sir,” O’Neill agreed smartly and waved the rest of his teammates ahead of him.
At those two words, O’Neill immediately came to a halt. “Yes, sir?”
“Just wanted to say that it’s going to be a very interesting debrief.”
“That it is, sir.”
The clicking of heels on the tiled floor was Colonel O’Neill’s first indication that Fraiser was heading his way. “About time, Doc.”
“I’m happy to say, sir, that all of SG-1 are fine.”
“I could have told you that without all your infernal tests,” he grumbled.
“I don’t tell you how to do your job, Colonel,” she returned sharply. “So I’d appreciate it if you don’t tell me how to do mine.”
“Janet’s got you there, Jack.”
“Don’t be such a smart ass, Daniel.”
Exchanging amused looks with Janet, Daniel watched her walk away laughing.
Sticking a finger in both ears, Jack made a face. ‘I don’t want to hear it!”
Surprised, Daniel frowned. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
Arching a brow, Jack looked wearily back at his archaeologist. “Don’t I?”
“I would be interested in knowing what Daniel Jackson has to say.” Teal’c’s face spoke of curiosity.
“Me too,” Carter chirped as she stood beside the younger man.
“Outnumbered again,” Jack muttered and waved at Daniel to say his piece, knowing he wasn’t going to like whatever came out of that over educated mouth of his.
“I'm not going to drop the subject. I’d like to go back,” Daniel announced forcefully, as if he could impress his will on the older man.
“See, I told ya I knew what you were thinking.”
“I told them to bury their gate, forcryinoutloud!”
Peering at Jack over his glasses, Daniel gave him an odd look. “You really think that they’ll follow *your* orders?” he snorted. Silence met his question. “Need I remind you that they have a *Jack* of their own.”
“Meaning?” Jack’s tone was quite cool.
“When have *you* ever listened to anyone’s advice?” Daniel crossed his arms and tapped his foot. “Other than General Hammond’s of course.”
“Just because you listened to me that one time doesn’t count in this instance,” Daniel snapped.
“Even if they kept the Stargate open I have no interest in ever going back there.” O’Neill watched his two science geeks frown at him. “Yeah. I saw how you guys were talking a mile a minute with your own *twins*.” He shook a finger at them. “Fascinating, I believe is how you phrased it, Carter.”
She was about to retaliate until the colonel held up his finger in front of her face. So she decided to let Daniel handle him.
“Well it was fascinating, Jack,” Daniel pouted.
“Give it up, Daniel,” Sam said. “The colonel said no, and we need to meet with the general for our debriefing.”
“Guess so.” Daniel followed her out but glared at Jack until the infirmary doors closed behind him.
“If it were up to me, O’Neill, I would have Harlan keep the Stargate open as well.”
Walking out of the infirmary with Teal’c’s words ringing in his ears, Colonel O’Neill’s thoughts turned to his own *twin* that he had left behind on P3X-989. “Ya know, T, if I ever find out that Harlan didn’t close their Stargate and that his SG-1 are using it to go out on adventures, I will personally pay them a visit to kick their tinny robot asses,” he grinned at the Jaffa. “And that goes double for that other O’Neill.”
“It would be a most interesting sight to behold,” Teal’c watched his fellow warrior closely.
“You don’t think I could beat him?”
“Daniel Jackson explained a curious terminology to me recently that I believe covers your question.”
Knowing Daniel had been teaching Teal’c many of earth’s customs, O’Neill waited to hear what the former first prime had learned this time. “Go ahead. Share your wisdom with me.”
“I will take the fifth amendment.”
Bright laughter had the colonel whirling around to catch the smiling face of Janet Fraiser.
“You certainly asked for that one, sir.”
“I know something that’ll wipe that smile off your face but fast, sister,” he sniped back.
“Do tell,” Fraiser shot back as she wiped her eyes.
“Dealing with two O’Neills at the same time.” He had the delighted satisfaction of watching her expression turn to one of horror at the scenario he just painted for her. The good doctor couldn’t enter her infirmary fast enough.
“Was that necessary?” Teal’c asked as he watched her hasty departure.
“Where she’s concerned yes indeedy.” O’Neill was pleased that for once he had gotten the upper hand with the tiny Napoleonic power monger.
“I hope our debriefing does not take long for I must kelno’reem soon.”
“If Junior gives you a hard time I’m sure Hammond won’t mind if you have to skip out early.” Slapping his teammate on the back, they walked sided by side to the elevator.
Whistling as he waited for it to come down to their level, Colonel O’Neill had to wonder at the cosmic karma attached to his team. He had a sneaking hunch that Daniel was right, and when isn’t he. Somewhere, sometime, SG-1 would end up running into their doppelgangers and then... heads would roll.