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The Coronation of Immi Ananas

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Immi Ananas took a deep breath, and let it out.  Everything hinged on this day –nay, this MOMENT- going perfectly.

“Jæja! Time to wake up, lazy fruits, vegetables, berries, whatever you are, I don’t care, wake UP!” Immi yelled, striding amongst the sleeping forms of his friends.

Everyone groaned and shifted in their sleeping positions. It was a lot earlier than they usually woke up, and they were not taking kindly to the pineapple-shaped alarm clock stomping his way through their sleeping area.

Immi rolled his eyes at their inactivity.

“Come oooooon,” he whined, “I’m going to crown myself KING!”

Wide awake now, everyone scrambled to their feet.

“WHAT?!” they all said simultaneously, in disbelief.

“I am going to crown myself king! For REAL this time!” Immi declared, striding back and forth and swinging his scepter around.

“Immi! Have-have you gone MAD??” Rauða asked, diving for her life out of the way of his wildly swinging scepter.

Immi laughed, and looked down at her. “I have NEVER thought so clearly in all my LIFE, Rauða,” Immi assured with a wide, toothy grin.

Somehow, she looked less than reassured.

“Oh, what about equality, and-and brotherhood?” Gedda asked indignantly.

what about equality, and brotherhood?!” he mimicked, and rolled his eyes. “This is MUCH more important than THAT, Gedda mín, I am CROWNING myself KING!‘

Immi twirled in a circle, cape wrapping around him. “And there is nothing that anyone here can do about it!“

“Immannúel!!”  Immi paused at the mention of his full name, turning to see Eva running toward him as fast as her high heels would carry her. “How DARE you?!”

Immi lowered his scepter at her approach.

“I thought that we all agreed, at the UNITY festival, where I was the hostess if you recall, that we were going to ALL be friends, and that means everyone is equal!” Eva said, stomping her foot.

“Not ALL of us, Eva mín,” he smiled slyly, giving her a wink. “You and I? Will NOT be…’friends’ after this!”

Eva gasped, and clutched her heart.

Everyone went silent in the fruit basket.

Guffi and Græni poked their heads out from behind the leaves.

Gedda and Mæja peeked out from underneath the slide.

Poddi and Palla looked fearfully around the cube toys they were hiding behind.

Even Rauða sat up from the ground.

“Not…be…friends?” Eva asked, betrayal evident on her face.

Immi’s smile faltered a bit.  This wasn’t going the way he planned. “Well, uh, Eva, what I MEANT was-“

“How could you not want to be FRIENDS! With ME!” Eva asked, sounding close to tears.

Immi’s eyes widened. “No, no, Eva mín, I just meant that-“

“I don’t want to hear it! OGH!!” Eva cried, spraying Immi in the face with that foul-tasting mysterious spray that she carried around, before turning heel and running off.

By the time Immi’s vision had cleared from the attack, Eva was standing near the slide, sobbing into Mæja’s shoulder.

“Immi,” Mæja said indignantly, speaking over Eva‘s shoulder at him, “We FORGAVE you!”

“Yes, I know that, Mæja, but just listen to me-“

“And FORGIVING you means that you weren’t ever supposed to do it again!” she interrupted, bitter disappointment clouding her voice.

The other fruits and vegetable nodded. Except Eva, who was still sniffling, wiping her eyes on her powdering tool.

“No, I-I just meant that-“ Immi slumped his shoulders, letting out a defeated sigh.

What a disaster.

“Ohhhh, NOBODY ever asked what I was crowning myself the king OF!” he whined, dropping his scepter on the ground.

He kicked it in discontent.

Still, nobody dared move.

“We, uh,” Mæja finally said hesitantly, gesturing with the hand not comforting Eva, “Assumed that you were just going to…to crown yourself king over…over the fruit basket, and all of us.”

“That’s what you did last time!” Gedda piped up.

Immi put his head in his hands and groaned. “Ugh, no, no! That’s the problem with ASSUMING, Mæja mín, it makes an ASS out of you and-and STILL YOU!”

She opened her mouth to protest, but just closed it again, continuing to pat Eva.

“Well then?!” Immi asked of his friends, perhaps a bit too aggressively, “Isn’t ANYBODY gonna ask me?”

“A-ask you what?” came Poddi’s voice from behind the stacked toys.

“Isn’t ANYBODY going to ASK me what I am going to crown myself KING of??”

“Okay, fine, fine!” Eva said, detaching from Mæja and walking right up to Immi, “What on EARTH could you POSSIBLY be crowning yourself king of that would make this okay?!”

Immi smiled wide.

“I, IMMANÚEL Aðalsteinn Ananas, am crowning myself king, now and forever, of…” he swept off his hat and pulled a box out of it-

“Surprise proposals,” he finished, dropping to one knee.

Once again, there was complete silence in the fruit basket as Immi opened up the box, presenting a ring to the orange standing above him.

“Eva Appelsína, will you marry me?” he asked, holding the box out a little closer to her.

Eva’s jaw dropped.

EVERYONE’S jaw dropped.

And the longer she stood there, motionless, the more Immi began to panic.

But then she spoke.

“W-well,” she said, visibly regaining her composure and fanning herself with her powderer, “I think that…” she looked down, and picked up Immi’s hat.

“If a KING asks me,” she said, placing the hat on his head with all the reverence of the most jewel-encrusted crown, “Then HOW could I say NO?!”

She smiled widely down at him. “Yes, konungur minn, I will marry you.”

Immi let out a high pitched giggle, and the rest of the fruit basket clapped and cheered as he placed the ring onto Eva’s finger.

A tiny crown glinted off of Eva’s gloved hand when he was finished.

“Alright, alright coronation over, go back to your business everyone,” Immi said, shooing everyone away, “Go!”

Everyone walked off, to give the two of them some privacy.

“King of surprise proposals, pah!” Rauða grumbled as she left, “How DARE he give me a heart attack like that!”