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My Spirit’s Rebellious

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My Spirit’s Rebellious

“I can`t do right when all I wanna do is wrong
My conscience sounds alarm like the waning on a Chinese gong
I know about the punishment, I know about the law,

~~~

 

I leaned back in the large framed leather chair, finding its fabric more comforting against my skin then any of the other chairs in the household. No wonder Alice kept the thing for himself, he was smart. This room was strictly off limits from me, which made it that much more exciting that I had snuck into the office while he was away from home on an errand. I looked to the desk and found a black book resting upon it. It wouldn’t hurt if I took a little peak; it’s not like he would ever know…

 

Unable to fight my curiosity and knowing I would never get caught for sneaking into the office I picked the book up, opening it to the first page. I had never seen the book before and quickly became consumed in the text. A book on dominating, fit punishments and things of that nature. A dirty little book for my lover to keep lying around, but it made that much more sense now where he had learned all his skilled tactics. The further I read, the more I understood how he had created his stage character’s actions. And it also made perfect sense now why sometimes when he came out of the office his mood was much more... passionate.

 

Getting deeper into the book I lifted my legs, resting them against the edge of the wooden desk as I sunk further into the chair finding a relaxed position. I couldn’t help but chuckle a few times as I read. There was a certain sense of irony in the fact that I was reading a book I’m sure Alice had studied long and hard to figure out how to deal with me when I misbehaved and yet, here I was doing something he had instructed me not to. It felt good to have an insubordinate moment, I could get it all out of my system and the best part, he’d never even know about it! This drew another laugh out of me until the office door slammed open loudly.

 

I scrambled to sit up and quickly took my legs from the desk, sitting upright. A very displeased Alice walked into the room, coming over towards me. He pulled his sunglasses off setting them on the far edge of the desk as he leaned across resting his palms firmly against the red velvet fabric. He stared me down, not saying a word. My once brilliant plan seemed so childish now, and unlike my earlier thought I had been caught, which ultimately meant, I was screwed.

 

He arched his eyebrow slightly and I followed his judgmental gaze as it went to my hands where I clasped the book firmly in my fingertips out of nervousness. I was so caught up in the fact that he had merely caught me in his office that it didn’t occur to me to throw the book back onto the desk so he never would have known I had seen past it’s cover. Slowly I closed the book and set it back upon the desk, lightly nudging it in his direction with a quiet swallow. His gaze did not soften; it was still predatory, it was still commanding. He was not happy with me that much had been physically expressed to me through his firm stance.

 

“What did I say about my office?” He inquired, watching me still.

 

I pulled my hand away from the book and inched deeper into the fabric of his chair, if I looked pathetic enough maybe he’d go easy on me for going against his will. He had to have known one day I would be unable to fight off the curiosity and sneak in while he was away. He also had to take some kind of pity on me when I looked this vulnerable. I mean, I was human after all, I made mistakes just like everyone else.

 

“That it was off limits...” I replied in a soft tone, almost child-like in it’s softness.

 

It was funny the way Alice could make me submit to him with a single stare. At times we shared equal roles, but now was not one of those times. Right now, he was the master of the house, and I had crossed his wishes. The dominating, possessive side of Alice normally only seen on the stage was standing before me even if the greasepaint makeup didn’t line his eyes. It was shocking how fast the transition had occurred, the moment he pulled his sunglasses off I knew it had taken place. All it took was a split second for his other side to be triggered. Now he would slowly ease his way into the role fully, so I had to think fast to keep it from happening.

 

“So, please tell me, what are you doing in here?” He asked still leaning forwards over the desk.

 

He watched me with such intent that even if I moved an inch, it seemed he would know of it. Something about the way his gaze moved with my body reminded me of a snake watching a mouse scurrying. There was a very predatory look in his eyes that made me stay firmly in place, like a living statue.

 

“I don’t know.” I answered after a moment.

 

Alice didn’t seem pleased with this answer. He scowled at me, removing his hands from the desk as he walked around the desk to my side, hovering beside me. My fear intensified and I swore to myself I would never enter this study again without his permission, nor would I ever read one of his books again. I knew he would not harm me, but the disapproval was enough to make my stomach churn. I hated upsetting him more then anything else, I should have just asked him while he was home one day instead of going behind his back.

 

“You know what you were doing, now tell me why.” He demanded a second time, a sharpness seeping into his tone as his character took over his personality deeper.

 

I was certain I would be receiving some kind of punishment from him tonight, there was no use in getting myself more then needed. It was time to be honest, since I would be unable to prevent the change from taking over.

 

“I didn’t think I’d get… caught.” I looked away from him and towards the carpet on the floor.

 

I could well imagine the look on his face, I didn’t need to see it. Alice reached out hooking his finger under my chin bringing my gaze to his again, a silent warning that I should not be breaking eye contact with him at the moment. I made sure to continue to look at him, if I even turned my head he would misread it as my disrespect and I could not afford another mark on his list.

 

“But you did get caught, and what do you think I should do with you?” He asked me.

 

His tone was smooth, daring me to give him a false answer. He was expecting me to further my disobedience by standing up to him, but if I was sweet, maybe, just maybe I could convince him to play nice for one more night.

 

“Pretend it didn’t happen, baby.” I smiled a little at him, trying my best to keep some kind of innocent, repenting facial expression.

 

It did not work though; he had become immune to my pleas. He shook his head gently seemingly deeply amused as I tried to worm my way out of things. He was enjoying all of this it was so very apparant.

 

“Guess again, let’s hope you get it right.” He removed his fingertips from my chin and watched me.

 

I knew exactly what he wanted me to say. He wanted me to admit that I had wronged him and it was only fair that he find a punishment to fit the crime. I did not wish to utter such words though and found myself half-sighing as I watched him. After a moment I finally spoke up.

 

“I’m sure it’s something from that book on your desk.” I answered glancing to it.

 

Alice seemed more amused with me now. It was as if something had clicked inside his mind, which was a dangerous thing to let happen. I instantly regretted my words and wished I had come up with a punishment, anything would have been better then seeing the joyful expression as he created a new punishment. One I’m certain I would not like a bit.

 

“I had almost forgotten that you also read that book without my permission, that will deserve some kind of punishment as well.” He was looking forward to taking his dominating role again.

 

I could see the signs of the normal Alice slipping further away, and his stage character beginning to take full control. The controlling side that enjoyed ‘keeping me in line’ and punishing me when it was supposedly necessary.

 

“I was curious!” I raised my tone to him.

 

He couldn’t really blame me; he would have done the same had I of set some kind of restriction for him. I’m more then positive he would have crept into the study far earlier then I had, if such a rule existed against him. I had been patient, I had waited, this simply was not fair and I would fight him about it. Maybe he would respect me for standing up to him? It was worth a shot, anything was at this point.

 

“Raising your voice?” He clicked his tongue exactly three times, pointed at me and shook his finger rhythmically.

 

I closed my mouth with a small groan, folding my arms.

 

“No attitude,” He demanded next.

 

I unfolded my arms and looked back up to him.

 

“Now sit up.” He said watching me closely.

 

I did as he said, I was already in trouble I didn’t need to push him farther or the punishment would just end up more severe. I’d trick him secretly, play to his little fantasies and easily get off the hook for ‘good behavior’.

 

“Pick up that book.” He pointed towards the book I had been reading and waited.

 

I glanced to him and then to the book. This must have been the reason his eyes lit up with excitement moments before.

 

“This one?” It was an honest answer.

 

I reached for it, letting my fingers wrap around it, dragging it back into my grasp waiting to see if this was really what he was talking about. And if it was, I was screwed, utterly, completely screwed.

 

“Yes.” Alice answered simply as I set it on my lap and looked to him again. “Open it.” I was about to turn it to the first page but Alice took my arm before my fingers could reach the pages. “I was not finished with your instructions, listen carefully, little girl.” He scolded me before continuing on. “I wish for you to open it to a random page and based upon what page you receive, that will be your punishment.” It was the first time he had grinned since entering the office.

 

He was enjoying this and oddly, I felt myself beginning to enjoy it too.

 

“What if the page has nothing to do with punishment?” I questioned knowing it was an option.

 

I was not trying to disobey him, but I was thinking about the possibility.

 

“Well, Sweetie.” His tone was vindictive, dangerous even. “Then you will be very lucky… If there are no punishments upon the page you turn to, then no punishment you will receive.” He moved behind me, leaning over the leather chair so that he was right above my shoulder, his whisper right against my ear. “Let’s hope your fingers are as lucky as they were last night.” He whispered with a chuckle.

 

I knew the sexual implication he had made, referring to our previous nights encounter. Perhaps a caressing stroke could distract him from my punishments for a second night in a row. I wanted to make some dry, witty remark in return but decided I had pressed my luck enough for one evening. And certainly he would not fall for the same tactic twice, he had made it clear by teasing me about it.

 

“I surely hope so.” I answered.

 

Gently I reached my fingertips over the edge of the book, stopping just past halfway through. I waited for a moment before finally dividing the pages with my finger opening the book up. I held my breath as I looked down to see what the text read. Alice moved away from me as he walked back to my side, he hadn’t even glanced to the text.

 

“Read aloud what it says.” He sat down on the edge of the desk to the left of me.

 

I glanced at him, finding his pose more than appealing but could not allow myself the distraction so I tried hard to focus on the words as I began to read them aloud.

 

“If wronged, disrespected, or betrayed by a slave, the Master may come up with a fit punishment to prove loyalty. Punishments can vary based upon the crime, ranging from humiliation to simple household chores. It is the Master’s choice to decide which punishment will prove most effective seeing as some tactics are more effective against a slave then others…” I finished the sentence with an internal sigh.

 

I was not getting off the hook, I had chosen the wrong page. I looked over to him to see what he would come up with.

 

“Hmm…” Alice said aloud as he leaned further back onto the desk, his palms resting against the velvet again as he seemed to weigh his decisions. “Keep reading.” He said with a small hand gesture before relaxing in the same position for a second time.

 

“Tools may also be used in order to help teach a lesson, the two most popular tools are the paddle and the riding crop.” I was about to continue reading but Alice jumped up, startling me half to death.

 

He was grinning in pure joy as he looked straight into my eyes.

 

“That sounds delightful, doesn’t it, pet?” He purred the words out as he rushed from the office with a fast pace.

 

I closed the book quickly tossing it onto the desk as I rushed up after him.

 

“Alice!” I shouted following him. “Don’t you even think about getting that thing out!” I warned him.

 

I rushed down the hallway trying to cut him off, trying hard to reach the bedroom before he did but as I pushed open the bedroom door there he stood next to the bed, lightly hitting his leather covered thigh with the riding crop. I went to reach for the door, deciding I’d bolt for it.

 

“Ah, ah, ah,” He shook his head slowly. “Get back in here.” There was no sweetness in his tone.

 

It was a command, a command saying ‘if you don’t want it worse later, you’ll take it now’.

 

“Not if you’re going to use that thing.” I pointed to the riding crop as if it were living and mocking me.

 

Alice smirked, ever so slightly.

 

“You’re lucky I’m not making you crawl to me after what you did today.” He said.

 

I was lucky, on a normal day when his dominating side had really taken over he would make me crawl on all fours. He knew as well as I did, tonight I was less willing to give into a submissive role. I was fighting back, which made it that much more desirable for him to control me.

 

“Now, come over here and let me teach you a little lesson, sweetheart.” He stopped hitting the riding crop against his thigh as he used it to point at me and then a spot on the floor before him.

 

“No.” I smiled a little, for some reason I really wanted to push his buttons.

 

It felt good to piss off this side of Alice, I was half hoping for some kind of chase.

 

“No?” He asked, as if insulted.

 

His facial expression became harder, his jaw muscles tense. It had worked.

 

“Get over here, now.” He was glaring at me, daring me to take it a step further.

 

“No, I think I’m fine here.” I was now smirking.

 

I guess I wanted a little punishment tonight. Alice walked over to me with long strides. Before I could even reach the bedroom door he closed it and turned to me. I backed up in the room really wishing there had been another exit.

 

“No more tricks, no more games.” He warned me, the riding crop held tightly in his fingers. “I’m done playing.” He moved towards me again and I dodged out of the way starting to laugh a little.

 

I went to go climb over the bed when Alice caught a hold of my leg and I collapsed against the mattress clumsily. He quickly rolled me onto my back and got on top of me, he dropped the riding crop to the side of us as he took both my wrists in his free hands pinning them above my head.

 

“Caught you, didn’t I?” He said grinning down at me.

 

I nodded a little.

 

“But you’re no longer angry with me.” I said knowing he was having as much fun as I was.

 

He watched me for a moment as if realizing I was right. The realization seemed to temporarily frustrate him.

 

“That doesn’t mean you still wont get your punishment.” He had a devious look upon his face.

 

“Don’t even think of touching that thing!” I warned him again, as I glanced to the riding crop.

 

Alice removed his body from against mine, instead leaving him on his knees beside me, my wrists still trapped in his strong hold. He pulled me up, switching my position so that I was bent over his knees. He took both wrists in one hand.

 

“Fine, I won’t use it…” He said nicely.

 

I smiled thinking I had one but then I felt his hand land firmly against my bottom.

 

“It seems all my girl needed was a simple spanking to remind her to behave.” He cooed, smacking my ass again.

 

Another firm thwack.

And another.

And another.

 

On the four or five spanking I thrashed about, wriggling to break free. My behind was starting to get sore from the rough contact.

 

“Alice!” I shouted at him.

 

My voice was muffled against the bed sheets as his hand came down a another time. My skin was warm and tingling, it was not painful to the point of tears but I knew there would be discomfort for me to sit later. He didn’t stop, instead doing it three more times before stopping. My bottom stung painfully, but he had gotten his point across.

 

“I bet you’ll never do that again?” He asked lightly placing his hand on my body, running his fingers over the tender spot gently.

 

He had his fill in punishing me and as always he finished his punishment with sweetness. He released my wrists allowing me to get up. I pushed his chest roughly with a glare, before covering my behind.

 

“I’m not a child, you can’t spank me when I’m ‘bad’.” I said firmly as I rubbed my sore behind.

 

I was ticked because he had gotten the best of me. It was a game to see how long I could get away with being unpunished but tonight, he had gotten me.

 

“You were behaving like a child.” He smiled. “You’re still behaving like one.” He was teasing me, trying to irk me the way I had by talking back earlier.

 

Then I saw it out of the corner of my eye, the riding crop. I went to reach for it but before I could it ended up in Alice’s hand, he smacked it against the top of my hand and I let out a loud groan.

 

“Stop that!” I said accusingly.

 

Alice just smiled.

 

“You know, you could show me that you’re sorry, and maybe, just maybe I could find it in my heart to forgive you?” He was moving the riding crop back and forth between his fingers.

 

The same swinging motion as a pendulum on a grandfather clock.

 

“And you promise to be nice to me if I’m nice to you?” I asked with pleading eyes.

 

I did not need that riding crop cracking against my already sore skin. Alice nodded his head setting the riding crop onto the small nightstand beside the bed. He then looked to me and extended his finger in a ‘come here’ motion. I grinned unable to resist him, he would forever have this magic over me making me forgive him for anything he did. I was devoted and I did love him with all my heart even if once in a while I wanted to see if he had become softened with his dominating role over me. He had never let me down when it came to punishments, yet, at least.

 

I crawled over to him, one of my legs splitting his apart as my body lay right against his. He gently put his arm around me as he pulled me close our lips pressing together. He pulled back from the kiss as I felt his teeth lightly graze the sensitive skin of my throat before he gave a light bite upon it. I grinned against his neck, knowing he was distracted. I slyly reached over towards the nightstand about to grab the riding crop. My fingers searched for it blindly, I brushed against something I thought to be the leather of the riding crop but instead felt Alice link his fingers with mine.

 

I suddenly felt horrible, he was being sweet and a moment ago I was going to disarm him and steal his weapon to use it against him. All traces of his stage character were now gone.

 

“I forgive you for going into my study.” He removed his arm from around my waist and gently ran his fingers through my hair, pushing the rebel strands behind my ear and out of my line of sight.

 

This was the Alice I knew well, the man behind the persona. He was generous, always kind and the sweetest man I had ever met. I smiled and planted a soft kiss against his lips.

 

“I promise to never do it again.” I assured him. “Unless with your permission.”

 

Alice grinned a little.

 

“I liked catching you in there, you look good in my chair.” He ran his hand down my side in a soothing motion.

 

I felt my body totally succumbing to him like any other time he touched me. I was putty beneath his experienced fingertips.

 

“Plus I savor the look upon your face each time you get caught.” He chuckled.

 

I glared playfully.

 

“Of course you do, you find things like that hilarious.” I accused.

 

It was my turn to tease and distract him so I ran my hand up his thigh, feeling his muscles tense beneath my fingers as I got closer to his hips. Alice grinned at me.

 

“Perhaps next time you can read the book with me?” He offered. “There are a few more punishments I would like to show you.” He said thoughtfully. “Of course, they will be followed with pleasures of course, I’m not that evil.” He reminded me as if I had forgotten.

 

I smiled loving every little quirk about the man beneath me.

 

“I’m sure you’ll be needing to study that book long and hard.” I slyly reached for the riding crop a second time but Alice’s hand caught my wrist firmly.

 

“Do not even think about it.” He warned me.

 

I let my wrist go limp in his hand. I was caught, again. And there was no use into struggling to fight him back and steal it.

 

“I wasn’t.” I assured him looking pitiful.

 

This made Alice laugh.

 

“You always have been the rebellious kind.” He noted.

 

He then glanced over my expression as if he could read simply from that, that indeed I was the rebellious kind of girl. This made me grin.

 

“Perhaps if you didn’t make my punishments so much fun I wouldn’t have to be bad all the time.” I offered as a suggestion. “I mean certainly if you--”

 

Alice had heard enough.

 

He reached up entangling his fingers in my hair as his palm rested against the back of my neck. He pulled me down, bringing his lips to mine again, claiming them. The previous night I had avoided punishments all together, tonight he had gone easy on me but tomorrow would tell an entirely new story when he saw what I had in store for him. Until then, I could only fantasize about which punishments and pleasures he had come up with. One thing was certain though, my spirit would forever remain rebellious with his gentle guidance.