Disclaimer: I don't own World of Warcraft
World of Warcraft: Truth of the Matter
"Dark one!" cried the head apothecary, bending down to one knee as his leader approached despite the strain on his old, undead body. Sylvanas Windrunner, former Ranger General now leader of the undead Forsaken and one of the Leaders of the powerful Horde, gestured casually for the apothecary to rise.
"What is it you have for me today?" asked Sylvanas, her voice more musical and commanding than should have been possible in one long past the prime of life.
"We've finally managed to use our dark magics to harness a source of infinite information!" said the excited Apothecary, rubbing his flaking hands together a little too fast.
"Oh?" asked Sylvanas, intrigued. "Some ancient tome or leyline?"
"No! A new force that has named itself. After asking it what it calls itself, it replied with, 'Google'!"
"An interesting name…" mused Sylvanas. "Show me this 'Google'."
The Apothecary pointed to a large mirror sitting on top of a magic circle inscribed on a table. "Just go up and ask it any question; it can answer it!"
Sylvanas walked up to the mirror and spoke into it. "Google, if you really know all than you know all about me. Who am I?"
The mirror glowed brightly for a moment and then words appeared on the surface. "Once the Ranger-General of Silvermoon, Sylvanas Windrunner was murdered by the death knight Arthas and brought back as a creature of undeath; as such, she hates Arthas with a passion. After regaining her free will, she rebelled against the Lich King and the Scourge and became the founder of the Forsaken faction of undead, who are allied with the Horde. She has styled herself the Dark Lady or Queen of the Forsaken, an expansion of her original title, "the Banshee Queen"."
Sylvanas only showed her surprise with a satisfied smirk, "Amazing. But hardly proof of omniscience."
The Apothecary hurried forward. "Maybe this feature will impress you. Google, image mode."
The mirror started to glow, this time taking longer. Sylvanas just looked to the Apothecary. "Image mode?"
"Yes, it will display whatever was inquired about previously as a set on images on the subject instead of words. They are quite detailed. I suspect we will get to see magnificent drawings immortalizing your greatness Dark One."
"Flattery is transient," said Sylvanas. At the moment the mirror stopped glowing and Sylvanas was greeted with hundreds of clear images of herself, drawn and rendered with great skill, some were almost lifelike. There was only one problem. Sylvanas frowned, "Why am I only wearing pants in one of these images?"
"I don't know Dark One!" stuttered the Apothecary. "I inquired after several other personages both great and small to test it but none of them were quite like this! Google shows images that people have drawn or created, I even saw images from Outlands that were long destroyed in its sundering!"
Sylvanas stopped and thought for a moment. "So, this means that these were all created by living or once living beings, correct?"
"Correct Dark One."
"Then we have a new operation. Use Google to discover the whereabouts of all such images and their creators. I will mobilize the full force of the Forsaken and we will march to destroy every last image and those that possess them. Their creators will feel despair and unbearable pain in life, and I will make it continue into their deaths."
"Yes Dark One, it shall be done."
Sylvanas looked back at the images, studying them briefly. "And why did no one tell me I wasn't wearing a shirt? Get me one and some appropriate armor immediately!"
Author's Note: Seriously, too many of the pictures on Google image search have Sylvanas not wearing any pants! I know that this is encouraged by the in canon lack of a shirt and the panties on the outside, but at least she's wearing some freaking pants! Fan artists need to mobilize and draw Sylvanas in some freaking pants! Hell, add in a shirt and some bad-ass armor while you're at it! Sylvanas is a trained Military commander, she knows her shit. If anyone does this, please send me the images, I'd love to see them.