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Chapter 1

“Ben!” Kylo Ren heard him yell. He needed to find the scavenger. He needed the map to Skywalker. That would cement his position. It would be the ultimate victory. He would finally prove to the Supreme Leader that there was only dark in his heart. Kylo had a realization then. Han Solo would be the ultimate test of his alliance to the dark side.

“Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time.” He said with a steady voice. Kylo hoped that he sounded steady and strong. The fact was that he was shaking.

“Take off that mask. You don't need it.” The older man said. When did he become so old?
 
“What do you think you'll see if I do?” It was time to face the man. Kylo wanted to stall and get the moment over with at the same time.

“The face of my son.” Han Solo said confidently. He was closer, Kylo had not been this close to him in almost fifteen years.

“Your son is gone. He was weak and foolish like his father.” There was no turning back. Ben Solo died. He died that night when his uncle Luke tried to kill him.

“That's what Snoke wants you to believe. But it's not true. My son is alive.” Han Solo’s pleading voice called out.

“No. The Supreme Leader is wise.” Kylo was sure. This was the way. He needed to prove himself. He had to be stronger. It was the way of the Sith. He would continue Darth Vader’s legacy.

“Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true.” Han solo grasped at the truth. Kylo’s face remained stoic. It would not do well for the man to know that he was correct.
 
“It's too late.” A mad plan hatched in his head. He would lull Solo into things that he could get him away from his destiny.

“No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.” His voice was honest. Kylo looked at his eyes and saw inside. He’d always been excellent with the force. It was very easy for him to know what everyone thought, he was attuned to everyone and it was overwhelming. It always had been. They were all noisy. His master had taught him to block it. Skywalker taught him as well but sometimes he was weak.
 
“I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. Will you help me?” It was the honest truth. Kylo needed to kill this man to be free of all the light. The pull of the light was still in him. He needed to squash it. He had to be strong now.

“Yes, anything.” Han said. Kylo dropped the helmet and then offered the lightsaber. It was time now. He would ignite the saber and end this man’s life.

Han put a hand on the saber and pulled. All Kylo had to do was use the force and light it. The younger man looked at his father. He could not do it.

Kylo remembered when Ben Solo was still alive. He remembered when he was young and he would take him to the Falcon and teach him to fly. Kylo could not do it.

“Ben. Give it. We have to go now.” Han said.

“I have to kill you.” Kylo said openly.

Han caressed his face. “Ben, I will protect you I swear but we have to go now.”

Kylo laughed, there was a time when little Ben Solo only wanted to his daddy. He would come and play music and scare the voice away. It had been the Supreme Leader speaking to him back then. Kylo opened his eyes wide. He had been young and scared. His mother was busy with the New Republic. Han had been away for another adventure with Chewie.

Han however had come back when his mother sent word. Ben Solo was eight years old and had a fit. He shattered all the things in his room and said that a voice called to him. Leia called her brother too. Master Skywalker however was nowhere to be found. He had been in a retreat with his new apprentices. It was not the first time it happened but this was serious.

Han came back and did the best that he could with Ben. Leia tried too but Ben was scared and the voice said that it would kill Leia if she was near. He did not say anything about daddy. So Ben clung to his father. Daddy had made it better. He would play music as loud as it would go. He would dance with him until he dropped from sleep from tiredness.

Leia had tried. They both had and then Skywalker came and saw him. He put him to sleep for a few days.

Leia made him his favorite breakfast and told him. He would go train with Skywalker. He would be a Jedi. Ben frowned; he would have to leave and daddy had just come back. “I don’t want to leave. I want to stay with daddy.” Ben yelled and cried. He broke all the glass; he virtually destroyed the Senate quarters where he and his mother lived.

“Ben!” Han said. “Son, we have to go now.”

Kylo Ren looked at him. The Supreme Leader would punish him for this failure. He could not kill him as much as he focused on the darkness. Han Solo and the girl needed to leave at once.

He did not move. He was done with the light and with the dark side. Kylo needed to be free of it all. “Leave now. He will be here soon. Take the girl too. She has the map to Skywalker.” Kylo said finally.

“I am not leaving you behind. Not again Ben; I failed you before. I will not fail you now.” Han said and grabbed his hand.

Kylo looked at the man and nodded. They ran out of Starkiller base. He was clearheaded; his mind was sharp as it had not been in years. Snoke did not know yet. Not for sure; he sensed a disturbance in the force. It was not clear yet. It would not be clear until Kylo stopped being Kylo and became Ben Solo in the Falcon.

He saw the scavenger and FN-2187. He also saw Chewie board the Millennium Falcon. His father threw away his lightsaber. Ben looked for it.

“What are you doing?” Ben yelled at his father.

His father looked at him and grabbed his face. “Not Kylo Ren. You are Ben Solo again and Ben Solo does not have a Sith lightsaber.

“I have to defend myself.” Ben sputtered as he summoned his lightsaber.

“Ben, we will find crystals for another. I will give you a blaster.” Ben nodded and got into the Falcon.

“Chewie, start her up. We have to go now.” His father continued saying.

Ben saw as the resistance attacked the base. It started as a dull ache. He tried to breathe deeply and relax. He tried to do the meditation Skywalker taught him years ago. He cleared the table and started. He worked on it as his father spoke to the scavenger and FN-2187

He blanked his mind and worked on his breathing. Ben however could hear them argue. He heard snippets here and there.

“He’s Kylo Ren.” FN 2187 said.

“His name is Ben.” His father replied testily.

The scavenger girl spoke up, “he’s the Jedi Killer. He tortured me and Poe. Why are we taking him back to Resistance quarters? This could be a trap.” The girl continued.

Ben sighed. He could not lie and get away with something like that. Snoke knew that the pull from the light was stronger and that it began to win over the darkness. Ben concentrated on keeping his feelings balanced. It would not do for it to begin now.

“I promised to bring him back and I will.” His father continued to speak. Chewie growled and howled from the co-pilot seat.

“Rey, listen to him. Solo is going to give him to General Organa. He will be tried for his crimes.” FN-2187.

“Leia and I will discuss Ben’s place. You two are to keep quiet about what happened here. Do you understand me?” His father finished.

They must have assented. Ben did not know. It had begun. Snoke knew of Kylo Ren’s betrayal and was furious. Ben felt the voice once more.

Chapter Text

I don’t own Star Wars
Obviously I don't own the songs lol

Happy reading!! hope you enjoy. Thank you for following this story

Chapter 2

Han knew what was happening. He could tell from the way that Ben clutched his head. There was no meditating that could stop the voice his son heard on his head. Snoke knew.

“What do you need?” Han asked his son quickly.

“A room, an empty room.” Ben gritted out.

“Come on.” He whispered and helped him up. It was not easy. His son was taller than him now. He was no longer eight.

Han took him to Ben’s room. Ben looked around. “You did not change it.” He whispered. Han looked away. “No. I had hoped you would come back to us.”

It was true. Leia had said that it would be temporary. Ben would trade with Luke for at most a year and then he would come back to them.

Han remembered that horrible night. He had accused Leia of being an absent mother. Leia had spat the same words. It was true they were shitty parents to Ben. He craved the adventure and would jump at any mission that took him away from boring meetings in Chandrila. Leia had her hands full with Ben. Sweet Ben who ran to meet him every single time he came back from missions. His kid was the happiest when daddy was home. Ben had worshipped him. He could not forget that horrible morning when his boy had looked at him like he betrayed him.

It had been a painful decision. Han insisted that he could take Ben. They had a plan, music as loud as it could play, exercise, singing the voices away. Luke shook his head. “There is too much power. He has to harness it. We have to start now.” His brother in law urged them.

Han had shaken his head and refused. Leia cried and wiped her tears quickly. She sided with her brother. “He is force sensitive. We have always known.”

It was true. Ben had been force sensitive from the womb. He made things float when he was a toddler. Leia sensed light, pure light and so had Luke. They told him that there was darkness too. Luke could sense it.

Ben refused to go and broke everything. Luke waved his hand and put Ben to sleep.

“We have to Han.” Leia implored and cried.
Han looked at her and then his tired son. He was pale and there were tear streaks in his eyes.

Han kissed his forehead. “I want to see this place.” He said gruffly.

“None of this bullshit of order and peace all year round. I want Ben to spend time with us too. He’s eight. He needs his mom and dad. We are not giving away our son to you and the Jedi.”

It was the worst mistake of his life. Han took them to the Falcon. Ben woke up and was scared. He assured him that he would see him in a few months. They would go around the galaxy in the Falcon. Ben perked up and seemed less scared then. “Mom will come too.” He said gently.

“Yes son. She will be by our side.” Han said reassuringly.

They left Ben with Luke then. Han took more and more missions; eventually smuggling once again. He could not see Leia or be in the Senate quarters. Their family was broken then. He visited Ben who looked more balanced, more centered. Leia visited as well but for some reason there was always something that prevented them from boarding the Falcon and traveling. They got two or three weeks with Ben throughout the year. It was not enough.

Leia and him grew so apart and Ben knew it as well. He was formal with them until one year when Han went to pick him up to travel in the Falcon. Ben refused, he was fourteen. “No thank you. Master Skywalker will begin my lightsaber training.”

Han nodded somberly. “Very well son.”

Ben nodded back and said goodbye. He cursed Luke in the Falcon. Ben was his; he should be flying the Falcon with him. He was his son and yet Luke knew him better. He probably loved Luke better by now. Ben did not even call him dad back then.

Leia and him did not see him again until he was twenty. They had gone to see him. Ben was a man then. He grew into his ears. He was tall, dressed in Jedi robes. He wore the padawan braid and greeted them formally. Luke reported that Ben was an excellent apprentice. Leia beamed with pride. Han and nodded gruffly. By the following summer Ben had become the Jedi killer and Luke disappeared from the galaxy.

Ben pulled him away from his musings. “The scavenger is right. You need to leave me at a planet. He will know about the resistance headquarters. He senses me.”

His son tapped his forehead. Han remembered the music. “You need music. Just concentrate on the music.” Han ran out of the quarters and reached the cockpit. He looked for the cylinders. “You know what to do.” He told Chewie. “Start with the loud ones first.”

His friend nodded and grabbed the cylinders. Han heard the first notes and sighed. Ben loved them. He liked them a lot too.

“Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!
We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow
The hammer of the gods
W'ell drive our ships to new lands
To fight the horde, and sing and cry
Valhalla, I am coming!
On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore
Ah-ah, ah!
Ah-ah, ah!”

Han made his way into the quarters and saw as Ben tapped his foot. He needed the noise. It would tune out or at least garble the noises inside his head.

Han was scared shitless the first time that it happened. Ben had been six. Leia took him to the Senate for some meetings. Ben had screamed that there was a voice in his head.

“Make it stop. Make it stop.” His boy had yelled.

Leia tried to sooth her son but Ben would stay away from him. Hand was out of depth as so was Leia. He thought of noise. There were some cylinders in the Falcon. He found them a few years before he met Luke and Kenobi. He ran out the room and brought them back to the quarters.

Leia was crying profusely. “I thought you were gone.”

Han frowned but went to Ben. He found the sound system and cranked it up. “Listen to the music Ben.”

His young son had. He was overtired after five songs. He fell asleep from exhaustion.

Han was back to seeing his son; only this time Ben knew every single word of at least five hundred songs. Ben’s fits continued for two years. They became more frequent and longer until he went to train with Luke.

“We come from the land of the ice and snow
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow
How soft your fields so green
Can whisper tales of gore
Of how we calmed the tides of war
We are your overlords
On we sweep with threshing oar
Our only goal will be the western shore
So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins
For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh.”

Han saw Ben clutch his head and sing softly to the lyrics. They helped him. Han went back to the cockpit.

He needed to make sure that Rey and Finn found their quarters. There would be a slight difficulty since there were no rooms left.

“Rey, go to bed.” He said and led her to his quarters. The girl stiffened.

Finn jumped. “Where are you taking her?” The boy cared deeply for the girl.

“She was tortured and needs to rest. As it happens there is only one bed. She sleeps in that room and you and I will bunk in the cockpit.”

Rey looked grateful. “What are those songs?” She asked.

“Don’t you worry about that.” He said gruffly.

Finn looked tired. “I don’t suppose you have a fresher” He said over the loud music.

“Left corner make to rights.” Han said.

The second song started then,

“Back in black
I hit the sack
I've been too long I'm glad to be back
Yes, I'm let loose
From the noose
That's kept me hanging about
I've been looking at the sky
'Cause it's gettin' me high
Forget the hearse 'cause I never die
I got nine lives
Cat's eyes
Abusin' every one of them and running wild
'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well, I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black
Back in the back
Of a Cadillac
Number one with a bullet, I'm a power pack
Yes, I'm in a bang
With a gang
They've got to catch me if they want me to hang
'Cause I'm back on the track
And I'm beatin' the flack
Nobody's gonna get me on another rap
So look at me now
I'm just makin' my play
Don't try to push your luck, just get out of my way
'Cause I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back
Yes, I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well, I'm back in black
Yes, I'm back in black
Well, I'm back, yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, yes I'm back
Well, I'm back, back
Well I'm back in black
Yes I'm back in black
Ho yeah
Oh yeah
Yes I am
Oh yeah, yeah oh yeah
Back in now
Well I'm back, I'm back
Back, (I'm back)
Back, (I'm back)
Back, (I'm back)
Back, (I'm back)
Back
Back in black
Yes I'm back in black
Out of the sight”

Han piloted the Falcon for a few more songs. He would check on Ben after a few songs.

His son paced up and down the quarters. He had undone the constricted black robes. He was sweaty. He kicked and moved as if having a lightsaber. He sang loudly. There was something about sleep that came from exhaustion. Not even Snoke could reach him when he was overstimulated and exhausted.

Han Solo saw his son’s back, the patterns of torture and felt guilty and sad. He heard as his on cried through more songs.

He clutched his head and paced. He was down to his pants. Han did not reach out to comfort. It was too soon. He could not forget that Ben was almost thirty years old. He would not appreciate his father’s harassment.

“Load up on guns, bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's over-bored and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
Yeah, hey
And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah, I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard, it's hard to find
Oh well, whatever, never mind
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello, how low
Hello, hello, hello
With the lights out, it's less dangerous
Here we are now, entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now, entertain us
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial, a denial
A denial, a denial, a denial, a denial.”

Leia had hated that one. Ben loved it. Han remained outside Ben’s door in case he needed anything.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The pain was excruciating. He heard Snoke, “weak minded, come back Kylo Ren. You will have to do better than this.”

Ben, his name was Ben. He was in the Falcon. He made a choice. Kylo Ren was no more. He was back to being Ben Solo. His father put music on, loud music that he remembered clearly. Sometimes little Ben welcomed the voice because his mom and dad stayed with him. Daddy would play the music and dance around with him.

Ben moved around, not quite dancing but moving. He needed to be exhausted for the pain to recede. He needed to sleep like the dead. It was the only time when Snoke would give him reprieve. Ben almost cried when thinking that this could be the rest of his life. It could not be. He was strong. He would find a way to resist Snoke. He needed to find a way; when he was stronger. He was on planet. He would find a way.

Ben moved around and it became hot. He was sweaty and felt as if he could not breathe. Ben chucked his robes, cowl and shirt. He moved to that other song. Ben smiled at that one.

“Welcome to the jungle we've got fun and games
We got everything you want honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey we got your disease
Jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
Uh, I, I want to watch you bleed
Welcome to the jungle we take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed but it's the price to pay
And you're a very sexy girl, very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights but you won't get there for free
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
Ooh, I want to hear you scream
Welcome to the jungle, it gets worse here every day
You learn to live like an animal in the jungle where we play
If you hunger for what you see you'll take it eventually
You can have everything you want but you better not take it from me
In the jungle, welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knnn knne knees, knees
I'm gonna watch you bleed
And when you're high you never ever want to come down
So down, so down, so down, yeah
You know where you are?
You're down in the jungle baby
you're gonna die
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your shun n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n knees, knees
In the jungle welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to you
Its gonna bring you down, ha!”

Leia hated these songs. She said that they were too adult. Little Ben had sung them without knowing what they meant. He would sing along and hope for sleep.

Ben heard songs for about four hours before his body gave up. He dropped to the bed. The man did not know how long he was asleep for.

He woke up to a piercing pain in the middle of his forehead. He must have yelled.

“Ben! Ben!” His father yelled.

He continued to yell. “Focus on my face.” His father said.

Ben opened his eyes and did. “Breathe.”

“Sing along with me.” His father said. He felt his hands on his face. His father was in front of him.

“I've had nothing but sorrow 
Since you said we were through 
There's no hope for tomorrow 
How's the world treating you?
Every sweet thing that matters 
Has been broken in two 
All my dreams have been shattered 
How's the world treating you?

Got no plans for next Sunday 
Got no plans for today 
Every day is blue Monday 
Every day you're away

Every sweet thing that matters 
Has been broken in two 
All my dreams have been shattered 
How's the world treating you?
And I’m asking you darling
How’s the word treating you?”

Ben sang along with his father. It was old. Ben sensed that it was much older than the ones with more beat. This song calmed him quickly. It always did. He put his head between his knees and cried.

“Dad. I cannot see her. I cannot face her.” Ben’s head hurt so much.

His father hugged him and kissed the crown of his hair.

“She asked me to bring you back. Your mom may have an answer. We need to figure this out Ben. We cannot play music forever.” His father said reasonably.

Ben nodded, “I need to be on planet. How long until the Falcon reaches the resistance.”

“Not long. We need to feed you and get you clothes.” Han said.

“Go to the fresher.” His father said while looking away. Ben was sweaty and needed to sleep. Maybe they could induce him once he reached the resistance base.

His father helped him up once more. “I know how to find my way.” Ben needed to be alone once more.

Ben made his way to the fresher. He pushed against the fresher’s door and heard a feminine yelp. It was the scavenger.

The man was too weak to appreciate the sight in front of him. She was half naked. Ben went to the toilet and puked the meager contents of his stomach.

The pain was unbearable. “Yell for my father.” He said weakly.

“Han.” The girl yelled and moved past him.

She was back with FN-2187 and his father. “We need to be on planet.” He heaved once more.

Han nodded.

“We will arrive soon.” He said and tied his hair back.

“Rey, go help Chewie. Finn, help me up.” The man said quickly.

Ben glared at his father. “No.” He replied when his father and FN-2187 grabbed him by the arms. He would not be degraded in such a manner.

“Benjamin, get in the shower now. We have less than fifteen minutes to get you presentable.” His father said.

Ben did his best glaring and then threw up once more.

“Ready.” His father said and pulled him up.

It was a haze. He remembered the feel of water or at least sonic cleaning. FN-2187 grumbled under his breath.

“Thank you Finn.” His father said once the showering was done.

“Now, I sent Finn away out of the goodness of my heart. You have to work with me son.” He said and started dressing him.

His father combed his hair as well. Ben still felt the splitting headache. The voice was gone but the headache remained.

“Do not tell me where we are.” Ben said carefully. “He may work into my head before we arrive and attack.”

His father nodded and helped him into clean clothes. Ben looked at himself in one of the panels. These were his father’s old clothes, down to the vest. They fit him well.

We have a few minutes before we land. His father helped him to the cockpit.

Ben concentrated on keeping meditating. He needed to have a clear head and fight Snoke’s advances. The scavenger girl was in front of him. She looked at him with distrust and some curiosity. He then looked at the traitor. He could not still address him as traitor since he was also one now. Finn, that was the name the man called himself now. There was also mistrust there and also open hostility. The girl tried to look at him like that but she was more curious than anything else.

They landed. The man and the scavenger left first.

His father took his arm. “I doubt she is outside. She has to be at a meeting. We will get her into the medical bay.”

Ben nodded, Leia Organa was always in meetings. He remembered endless meetings. Ben had hated the Senate and the New Republic. They took his parents away every time.

Ben felt steady on his feet. All he had to do was make it to the medical bay. He walked behind his father and ahead of Chewie.

His father was correct. She would not be there. He was mistaken. General Organa was there among the rebel ships coming back from destroying Starkiller base.

She ran to them. Leia was smaller than he remembered. Her hair was different; it was grey. She’d gotten older so had dad.

“Oh Ben.” She whispered and enveloped him in a hug.

Ben buried his face on her neck. He did not know how he did it but he managed to do it. She should not be able to hold him but she did.

He hugged her back. Ben did not want to see her face. He just wanted to smell her hair and just stay there. The rebels around them watched curiously. Ben did not care.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

“We have to take him to the medical bay. The voice is back.” Han told Leia.

She nodded and held their weakened son. He helped Ben who looked exhausted.

“He’s only slept four hours and he needs to eat. It is happening like before. He cannot hold food.” They walked to the doctors as soon as they walked to the bay.

Leia looked worried. “We need Luke.”

His son shook his head as they walked, “no Skywalker.”

Han remained quiet. He did not know whether bringing Luke would be the best idea now. “Let’s have Ben sorted out first.” The man said.

They reached the medical bay. Ben spoke up, “I need to sleep. I need energy and nutrients. Put me to sleep now.” His son said while clutching his head painfully.

“Do as he says now.” Han said to a doctor in a forceful way.

“What happened?” Leia asked as the doctors injected Ben.

“I have sedated him to the time being.” The doctor said. “I will run a battery of tests now.”

“You two could wait outside.” One of the nurses said.

Han sat by a bench and explained the past two days. “He’s barely slept.”

“Ben is under the impression that he will give away the resistance’s location if he sees more than five minutes of it.” Han continued.

“I will take him away as soon as he’s fed and rested. Your map is in good hands.” He finished.

Leia frowned. “He cannot leave. We have to find Luke. You and I cannot help him. He needs Luke.”

“First we have to find Luke.” Han did not want to fight with Leia.

He looked at Ben in that bed and felt terrible. “BB-8 has the missing piece of the map. All we have to do is have Artoo and BB-8 project the pieces together.” Leia said absently.

She held Ben’s hand. Han kissed her forehead, “you have to sleep too. You stayed awake with him did you not?” His wife asked him. He still called her his wife. They were still married. The fact that he had not seen her in fifteen years did not change that.

“I have to yes.” Han was exhausted but did not want to leave Ben’s side.

Leia looked up. “It’s my turn. Go to bed.” She said and gave him a card. “Ask for my quarters.” She said absently.

Han nodded. “Who is second in command?” He asked he needed to have the map delivered.

“Ackbar.” She said absently and kissed Ben’s pale hand.

Han left the medical bay and smiled when he found Rey and Finn outside in the hallway. “We don’t know where to go.” Rey said quickly justifying their presence. Han grabbed a pilot, “they are resistance. Find them quarters. I assume BB-8 is with your friend.” The man addressed Finn.

“Yes. We are waiting on orders.” The boy said.

“Girl, find commander Ackbar and have him speak with Finn and Rey.” Han said quickly.

Chewie was in the Falcon, he was never one to sleep inside unfamiliar quarters. Han found Leia’s quarters and slept for a few hours.

He woke up to Leia by his side. “They are having him sleep for another day. Sleep now.” Leia said and kissed his cheek.

Han obeyed. He was not as young as he used to be. He woke up to Leia’s smell. He sighed and held her closer.

“My brave scoundrel.” She said and kissed him gently. Her hands sought lower.

“Sweetheart, are you sure?” He had not done this in years. Leia kissed him more and more.

“You brought him back.” She said and touched him through his black pants. Han helped her out of her clothes too. It was like coming home. They were older; she did not want to let him see her.

Han moaned, “Let me see you.” When she would not let him undo her blouse.

“I’m saggy.” She said. Han undid her blouse. “Don’t care.” He whispered and touched her breasts.

He rocked into her. It was not as animalistic as it had been when they were younger. They were both softer and older. Han was proud to say that he made her come. They were both exhausted and sleeping after finishing.

Han woke up later. Leia kissed his lips gently. “Wake up. You have to eat. We have to see Ben soon.” She said.

Han stood up and washed. “I have your clothes. Chewie brought them earlier.” Leia said as she put on some light make up.

Han washed his face. “What happened with Rey and Finn?”

Leia smiled and put on light lipstick. “Finn is in quarters with Poe. Chewie and Rey took the Falcon to get Luke.”

Han stepped out of the shower and dressed. “How do I look?” Leia asked.

“Gorgeous.” Han said and kissed her neck.

“The doctor said that he would be awake in an hour. I want to be there when he does.” Leia said happily.

He held her hand and they walked to the medical bay. Ben was soundly asleep. They had put him on a white hospital shift.

The doctor smiled at them, “he’s gained nutrients and is rested. Whatever is going on, we cannot keep him sedated any longer without him becoming dependent on the drugs.” Han nodded.

“I will leave you now.” The woman said.

“Where are his clothes?” Han asked. Ben would like to change as soon as he had the chance.

The doctor motioned to a nearby chair. “Thank you.” Leia said.

Ben stirred a little bit. He was still groggy when he opened his eyes. He looked panicked, disoriented. He then looked at him and Leia. Ben closed his eyes.

“How are you feeling Ben?” Leia asked gently.

“I have a headache.” Ben replied after a few seconds.

Leia grabbed their son’s hand. “I’m very happy you’ve come back to us.”

Ben kept still. “When am I to be tried for my crimes?” He asked quickly.

Leia frowned, “no one knows about you and Kylo Ren.”

Han breathed a sigh of relief. “Kylo Ren is dead.” Han said. “He died in Starkiller Base.”

His wife nodded and kissed Ben’s hand. “Look at me Ben.” She said softly.

Ben slowly looked at his mother. Leia caressed his cheek. “I want you to stay here. Train and help us win this war. It is not too late. You have taken the biggest step.”

Han rubbed his face. If it were up to him. He would take Ben and Leia to the Falcon and leave all this mess behind. Han knew Leia would never consent to that. It was up to Ben now.

“Is not safe. He has a link to me.” Ben said with finality. “I have to leave. You and dad are not safe as long as I am near. Snoke will find you and end this.”

Leia kissed his forehead. “Let me help. Luke will be here soon.”

Ben frowned, “No.” He said and looked at him.

“Dad, we have to leave now.” Ben stood up and began to dress.

Han was not so surprised at his son’s reaction to Luke. “Let’s calm down.”

Leia frowned, “your uncle will help.”

Ben frowned back, “I am the Jedi Killer. Need I remind you what happened last time I saw Skywalker?”

Han looked at Leia and their son. “He could help you. Your father and I cannot.”

“Dad helped me. I just have to be as far away from here when the headaches start.” Ben said as he quickly put on his vest.

Han’s heart jumped every time he called him dad. “Leia, Ben may be correct. Let’s do things his way for now.”

Leia shook her head. “You’ll need a place to meditate. There is an empty convoy you could use for the time being. The Falcon will not come back before a few days. Rey and Chewie have it. They went to get Luke.”

Ben frowned, “I will leave tomorrow afternoon.” He said and walked out the room.

“That went as expected.” Han said tiredly.

Leia cried into her hands. “Oh princess, don’t please.” He said and hugged her.

“I do not want him to leave.” She said brokenly.

“We will figure this out. I better look for him.” Han followed his son.

Han found him in the convoy. Ben meditated quietly. “I need music and a staff.” He said clearly.

“I’ll see what I can find.” He said and hoped that Chewie had the foresight to leave the music back. His friend did; there with his clothes were the tapes. Han found a sound system fairly quickly.

Han dropped the sound system sat by a corner.

“Are you feeling pain?” He asked Ben.

“No, but I will.” His son sounded very convinced.

He stood up and put the loud music. Han sighed. “I will stay then.”

It was four or five hours until Ben looked at him once more. “Why are you still here?”

Han smiled, “I said I would not leave you.”

Ben looked away, “I cannot stay here when Skywalker arrives.”

Han nodded. “Your mother thinks that Luke could help you with the pain.”

Ben shook his head, “he will not. I am managing on my own. I just need to practice and sever this hold he has over me.” He looked determined. He had that Skywalker look that Leia and Luke had. Han had always been more flexible but not them.

“Fine, then we’ll take the Falcon and leave.” Han did not want to leave Leia behind but Ben needed him now.

His son nodded and went back to meditating. The music played softly and Ben sang along. He practiced with the staff too.

“I need a lightsaber.” Ben muttered.

Han ate some food an alien brought him. Ben ate most of his food too. The pain did not start until very late that night.

“You have to leave now.” Ben ground out.

The music continued and the walls vibrated. “DAD, Leave.” He yelled.

Han did. The room began to vibrate. The music inside became even louder if that were possible. The system should have broken by then. This was something else. It was Ben harnessing the force through the sound system.

Leia ran to him. “Where is Ben?” She asked frantically. The room vibrated with the strength of the music. Ben’s strength had tapped into the sound systems in the base.

“She's got a smile it seems to me
Reminds me of childhood memories
Where everything
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky
Now and then when I see her face
She takes me away to that special place
And if I'd stare too long
I'd probably break down and cry
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
She's got eyes of the bluest skies
As if they thought of rain
I hate to look into those eyes
And see an ounce of pain
Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide
And pray for the thunder
And the rain
To quietly pass me by
Oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet love of mine
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Sweet child o' mine
Oh,
Sweet love of mine
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, oh
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh, (sweet child)
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
Oh,
Where do we go?
Where do we go now?
Where do we go?
Oh,
Where do we go now?
No, no, no, no, no, no
Sweet child,
Sweet child of mine”

It was very loud but not completely unpleasant. “We have to get him out of there.” Leia said.

Han shook his head. “He has to work it out. I think he’s close.” It was a feeling he had. Ben would work it out. He just needed time.

The songs kept playing for another three hours. The people around the base were strangely comforted by some of them. Leia stayed with him until a sweaty Ben came out.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

Ben felt clearheaded. He meditated for hours. The pain lessened significantly. He thought of his father and mother. The ex-Jedi gave himself a moment to think. He needed to block Snoke. He was in the rebel bases. He was part of the resistance now. Ben knew better. He was not. His plan was to leave in the Falcon with his father and uncle Chewie.

Dad would not leave however. He could tell. Ben needed time. He could leave in one of the small fighter pilot ones. Only he could not. There was something that held him back in base. Something bigger. Was it power? He was no Jedi there was passion in him. Was he destined to continue his grandfather’s legacy? The Vader legacy. Ben shook his head. He was not. He was done with all that. The quest for power had only left him empty. All he ever wanted was for the pain to stop. Ben could not look at his mother. He could leave and then what? He would be aimless, without purpose. Ben searched through the pain in his head and saw it clearly. A picture of him and his parents when he was young. He belonged to them. He was Benjamin Solo. His place was here. His mother would make him the face of the resistance, that was clear. He was safe in the knowledge that no one would question his identity. His mother was correct. He would not be recognized as Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren was dead as were the Knights of Ren. Snoke had killed them all last night. That was another pain that Ben Solo had to face. It would be another of his nightmare. The old man in Jakku had been correct. He could not deny his family any longer. He would embrace it. He was a Solo. He would try to help because there was always that pull from the light.

So Ben Solo concentrated on those early childhood memories that he barely remembered. The man thought about the earliest memory that he had.

Ben remembered laughter, a twinkling laughter and a deeper one. He remembered endless rows of seats and his mother speaking to aliens. The Senate; Ben remembered pools. His father in swimming shorts. Leia in a blue bathing suit. They were in Chandrila. Ben laughed and splashed them. He was four.

Ben remembered the Falcon, running his fingers over the controls and panels. Him running with a toy blaster while uncle Chewie pretended to be mortally wounded.

Ben playing with a stick, a lightsaber because he could be a Jedi one day. A young Han Solo arguing with an equally young Leia.

“He’s too young. No, he could be anything why a Jedi?” Han argued.

Leia frowned. “He is force sensitive. It’s only play Han.” She argued back. “He would be a wonderful Jedi. He’s a Skywalker after all.”

Han shaking his head, “No. He’s a Solo.”

Ben concentrated on other happy memories. He would not dwell on the fights that increased as his awareness of the Force did.

Happy memories. Ben thought. Han and Leia dancing in the living room. An old song, very old while dad pretended to sing exaggeratedly; kisses and cuddles from Leia. Han and him playing war games. Han faking death while Ben smiled and kissed his mortal wound.

Suddenly he knew. He needed to confront and look back. Ben thought about those early days when he knew he could so things that daddy and mommy could not do. The voice terrified him but made him feel happy when he broke things. Ben could not go to his mother. The voice had said that it would kill her. Mommy could sense the voice. She could not make it feel better because the voice would kill her. Besides Leia Organa did not have time. She was always busy.

So Ben had Daddy and then Daddy would go away. The voice explained that his parents did not love him. The voice told him to do things. Ben learned that if he did the things. The voice would let him alone for a time.

Uncle Luke had come and taken him away. Ben was fine for years. Snoke was still there but he did not call to him. It was years later when he barely had contact with his mother and father that it started again. Snoke made himself known and poisoned his head and heart. It did not help that in part there was truth to his words. His parents gave up on him. Leia was first and then his father did.

Ben stopped the music and took a deep breath. He forced himself to think about nothing. The pain was back but it was a full ache. He could do it. Snoke was not there. He had found a way.

Ben harnessed his fears, his resentment and confront it. “They gave up on me. I gave up on them.” He said out loud. He remembered the Jedi training and the code.

“There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.”

False, there was emotion. There was so much within him. There was anger, there was fear, there was love for them: for Leia, for Han, for Chewie. There was resentment for Luke. Regret for killing innocents, for the deaths of his knights. There was anger, a lot of it.

“I see you are ready my young disciple. You have understood the true ways. It was a mistake to go with Han Solo. You have a chance to redeem yourself Ren. Bring me Skywalker. Kill Organa and Solo and all will be forgiven.” Snoke said

Ben could see his former master. “No. I have no intentions of going back. Kylo Ren is dead.” Ben Solo replied openly.

The key was to accept that there was light as there was dark in him. Darkness could be useful to him. He only needed to learn and balance the light and darkness in him. “I am done with the First Order.” Ben finished.

Snoke laughed, “So, you will go back to those who discarded you. Foolish boy.” He said and manipulated his mind once more. There were those moments all that darkness. The fights. The lonely nights in the Jedi Temple. All those times where he cried for his mother and father.

Ben looked at them and felt pity for the boy but he remembered his mother’s face when he came back. How she enveloped him. The kisses in his forehead when she thought he was drugged and asleep. His father insistence of staying by his side as he blasted music. Ben remembered tears for him. Han and Leia’s faces when they said goodbye to him. His father’s saddened face when he refused to go with him on the Falcon and chose the Jedi excursion.

“They want me now and that is enough.” Ben said. “There is emotion and there is peace. They coexist.” Ben said and cleared his mind. He thought of the Falcon’s doors and the doors in their old quarters in Chandrila. Snoke was out.

Ben was sweaty and tired. The music kept playing. He moved his hand and it was out. He opened the doors and saw his parents’ anxious faces and it was too much.

He could not hold their gaze. He would not cry; Ben felt his mouth move. “I blocked him.”

Leia smiled; she rushed to him and hugged him. “You’ll stay then.”

Ben nodded. “We have to talk about that.” He would not work with Skywalker.

“Later. You need to shower and eat.” Leia said and kissed his cheek. “Come, I’ll show you the quarters. You can have dinner with me and your father tonight.” She said happily.

Ben nodded and followed her. “I need clothes; Dad’s are old.” Ben said.

His father laughed. “I am sure your mother has clothes for you already.” He said with a smirk.

His quarters were four doors away from his parents’. Ben found that he was comfortable with the space. It was a simple room, a dresser, small fresher and a single bed. Ben stepped into the shower and washed away the tiredness. Ben let the cold water hit his face and body. He grabbed a towel and dried off. He looked inside the drawers and found clothes. He put on some black briefs and took a nap.

He slept easier than he had in years. He was sure the nightmares would soon begin. Ben woke up to an alarm. He stood up and dressed. His mother has stocked clothes in there, there was an assortment of pants, shirts and undershirts. Ben shrugged and put on black pants and a beige shirt. He combed his hair back and walked to his parents’ quarters.

He smelled foods of his childhood. There was Alderaan stew and Corelian rice. His father set up the table. His mother came around with the stew and smiled at him. “Just in time.” She said and hugged him. Ben tensed a bit and then sat down.

He ate carefully and smile almost threatened to escape him. “Your father and I thought about your position in the resistance.” His mother broached the subject.

Ben tensed once more, “No one knows about you. They think you and I were estranged.”

“Not untrue.” He offered. His mother frowned, “well, the resistance is ready to have you participate. Your father has agreed to take his old post as a general. He will manage the fighter pilots and help with the strategic parts of our missions.”

Ben nodded, “what will you have me do?”

His mother looked at his father, “Rey came back a few hours ago.” Ben tensed. He would find the nearest ship and travel to the outer rim if his mother tasked him to work with Skywalker.

“It is not what you think.” His father said immediately.

“Your uncle is refusing to join the fight.” His mother said with sadness. “I had hoped that he would come to understand but alas I was mistaken.”

Ben felt relieved. He would not have to face that yet. “What do you need?”

“You are the only one who has any trainings in the force.” His mother said.

“I am not a Jedi.” Ben ground out.

“Yet, you are not a Sith.” His mother pointed out. “You have valuable training. I need you to train Rey. She has power; the force, it calls to her.”

Ben knew that. “I tortured her. I doubt she will willingly let me train her.” He replied easily.

“She is willing. She has raw power; the girl knows that. She had hoped that Luke would teach her the ways of the force but your uncle refused.” His father finished.

The young man knew it was a mistake. “I do not have a lightsaber.”

“You can build one.” Leia replied. “Rey gave Luke his, so she is in need of one too. That will be your first mission.” His mother said happily.

Ben shook his head. “She cannot just build a lightsaber. The girl needs years of training and knowledge in the force before she can hold a lightsaber.”

“We are very pressed on time Ben.” Leia said. “I do not want to force you on this but you know it in your heart. She is strong is the force. You are as well. She needs to learn.”

“The crystals for the lightsabers, we have to get them as soon as possible.” Ben said.

“You will take the Falcon.” Han said. “Take Chewie too.”

Ben agreed and then left for his quarters. He set the alarm for a few hours later. The scavenger and Uncle Chewie would be ready to go to a deserted planet that still held kyber crystals. Ben slept fitfully.

His mother and father said goodbye quickly. His mother hugged and kissed his forehead. “Be patient with her.” His father hugged him too. “Remember women get locks on their doors.” Ben frowned and said nothing.

He met her by the hangar. Finn and the pilot were there. He wondered if Dameron knew it was him who tortured him. He doubted it; but Finn knew and so did Rey. He passed them and nodded as he boarded the Falcon. Uncle Chewie sat by the co-pilot seat. He whined good morning and helped him into his seat. The girl hugged both Dameron and Finn and then boarded.

They were quiet the whole ride. It was two days before he put on the sound system. Chewie bopped along the song.

“It was the third of September
That day I'll always remember, yes I will
'Cause that was the day that my daddy died
I never got a chance to see him
Never heard nothin' but bad things about him
Momma I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Momma just hung her head and said, son
Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Papa was a rolling stone (my son, yeah)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Hey Momma!
Is it true what they say that Papa never worked a day in his life
And Momma, some bad talk goin' round town sayin' that
Papa had three outside children
And another wife, and that ain't right
Heard some talk Papa doing some storefront preachin'
Talking about saving souls and all the time leechin'
Dealing in dirt, and stealing in the name of the Lord
Momma just hung her head and said
Papa was a rolling stone (my son)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Hey Papa was a rolling stone (dad gumma it)
Where ever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Hey Momma
I heard Papa called himself a jack-of-all-trades
Tell me is that what sent Papa to an early grave
Folks say Papa would beg, borrow, steal
To pay his bills
Hey Momma
Folks say Papa never was much on thinking
Spent most of his time chasing women and drinking
Momma I'm depending on you to tell me the truth
Momma looked up with a tear in her eye and said, son
Papa was a rolling stone (well, well, well, well)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone (lone, lone, lone, alone)
Papa was a rolling stone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
Wherever he laid his hat was his home
And when he died, all he left us was alone
My daddy was
Papa was a rolling stone (yes he was, yeah)
Wherever he laid his hat was his home)”

Ben remembered singing that song a long time ago. Han Solo loved music. He played on the Falcon all the time. Ben remembered that his father collected all that music and then put it in the systems. The sounds were very different from one another. Ben had learned all of the songs. His father had a very large collection. The music and lyrics came in handy when dealing with Snoke’s voice in his head. Blessedly, he had not heard the First Order’s Supreme Leader again. Ben played more songs and mouthed them under his breath.

The scavenger girl looked at him the third day. “Turn it off. I need to talk to you.” The girl said after “People are Strange” came on.

Ben did so and turned to her, “Yes.” He said as he continued piloting.

“Let Chewie pilot.” She said and turned his chair. Ben frowned but did so.

They went to the small area where his father served meals. “What is it?” He said quickly.

The scavenger girl looked at him warily, “I don’t like you.” She said clearly, there was disgust and fear. Ben had used the force on her after all. It had not been pleasant. He also had a run with her pilot friend.

Ben would be honest. He did not like the girl either. She had no part in this story and yet his grandfather’s saber had called to her. “I do not like you either.” He snarled at her.

The girl frowned, “Master Skywalker told me everything.” She said harshly.

“He did, did he?” Ben said with a hint of irony.

“You killed them, little kids. You have tortured and killed so many people.” The scavenger said reproachfully.

“The resistance has killed as many people. How many did you help kill in Starkiller base?” He retorted. It would not do for her to think herself so mighty and pure.

She frowned at him. “You are a monster and now you were smart enough to change sides. You are so lucky you have good parents. You do not deserve them.”

Ben arched an eyebrow, “I may not but that is none of your concern. You have no part in our history nor have any right to judge our relationship. You are an outsider.” He said clearly. He was angry with her.

She looked struck as if he physically hit her. Ben regretted his rashness; an apology began to form in his mouth when the girl spoke once more. “You are just a selfish man, you had people who cared about you and you squandered it away. They still love you and care for you. I despise you.” Such fire, such passion.

Ben looked at her and felt himself react with anger. His mother tasked him with teaching her. He did not know if he could. He may create a bigger monster. “Has my mother spoken with you about your training?” Ben said softly.

“I told her I would. It does not mean I like you. I can barely look at your face.” She spat angrily.

Ben was confused, “My mother gave me the unpleasant task of teaching you. I fail to see how I could teach you if you hate me so.”

Ben laughed, it was utterly stupid; “you agreed.”

The girl nodded defiantly, “you are the only one who can teach me. You are a last resort type of thing.”

“The prospect of teaching you is not exactly appealing either.” Ben reacted accordingly.

The girl nodded. “We are clear then.”

“Crystal.” He replied.

They landed after two days. Ben played his music as loud as he could; thinking that it would annoy the scavenger.

Uncle Chewie whined along some songs. Ben laughed when he told him about some of his adventures. Ben was touched when uncle Chewie ruffled his hair roughly.

He stood up and knocked on the girl’s door. “We’ve landed.”

The girl nodded and walked with him, “Chewie is staying back. Make sure to take your supplies. The mine is a day away walking.”

She nodded and came back with a bag pack. Ben set an unforgiving pace. He knew his way around the deserted planet.

His strides were longer than hers but the girl was though. She did it complain and was quiet.

“We are resting here for the night.” He said and unpacked.

The girl was out of breath. “We can still walk a bit more.”

Ben picked up some crystals nearby, “We are starting our lesson.”

The girl opened her eyes and remained quiet. Ben sat down and motioned for her to sit down as well. “These are Kyber crystals. They are the heart of the lightsabers. The Empire plundered the mines years ago but this one survived.”

Ben said and then pointed at the one he held on his hand, “Kyber is the force of the lightsabers, they are fire resistant, water resistant and channel energy from the force. They are colorless in their natural state.”

“They become colored according to the user’s allegiance. Red for the dark force and blue for the light.” The girl supplied while still looking at the crystals.

“Yes, but you do not have all the information yet. You are correct about the colors but there are more colors. It all depends on the Jedi’s chosen class. Blue is for a Jedi guardian. They are for those who use the force on a physical level. Green is for the Jedi consular, those who prefer to reflect on the mysteries of the force and fight the dark side at heart. Skywalker spoke of Jedi using different colors, greenish yellow and the like. The lightsaber you gave to Skywalker was my grandfather’s and it was blue if you remember.” Ben finished.

The scavenger was an attentive student. He would give her that. She also had a mechanical mind it seemed. She understood the principles of building the pommel and converting the plasma quickly.

“We will build the handle tomorrow morning after breakfast.” He said.

Ben looked at the girl once more and thought about her knowledge of the force. It occurred to him that she did not know much.

“What do you understand of the force?” He asked her.

The girl blinked at him almost owlishly, “well you play Jedi tricks and lift rocks.”

Ben frowned, “No. The force is all around here. It is power, life, death, peace.”

Rey frowned back. “I have some books.” She unpacked and showed him.

“These are ancient Jedi texts.” Ben said reverently as he touched them. “Read them. We will talk about them when we get back to base.”

Rey nodded. “Good night.” She said and turned to unpack her sleeping bag.

“Breathing exercises. Clear your mind. There could only be serenity.” He said as he unpacked his bag as well.

Ben followed his teachings and emptied his mind. He woke up to the girl making noise. “The sun rose ten minutes ago.”

Ben was not a morning person. He stood up and readied for the day without speaking a word. He wished for some caf. The man led the way to a clearing to start working on the handles.

Ben set out to build his and guide the scavenger. He was satisfied when the girl learned quickly. He pointed to a small space at the center of the pommel. “That’s where your crystal will be.”

She nodded. “Why does your handle have two outlets on the side?”

“The last time I made a lightsaber, the crystal cracked and the blade was very unstable. The side outlets let that power out.” Ben explained.

“Will my lightsaber be unstable? Should I prepare for my crystal to be cracked?” The girl asked quickly.

Ben shook his head, “I do not think so. There is very little imbalance in you.” He always sensed light from her. Bright, blinding light.

They went deep into the caves. “The best crystals are deeper. Any crystal would do but the ones deeper are more resistant I think.” Ben was mostly speaking to himself. The scavenger kept up but was out of breath as they started to chip away the crystals. It was hot. Ben removed his shirt and remained with his undershirt. He picked at a large piece of crystal and worked on it.

The scavenger girl worked on hers as well. “Do you have your piece?”

“Yes.” She replied as she looked at it and smiled. “It called to me.”

Ben nodded, “well work on them once we get to the camp.” He put on his shirt and walked back to their makeshift camp.

Ben worked on his crystal silently. The scavenger girl called out. “I am ready.” She said brightly.

“Good, now place it.” He said as he overlooked her work. The girl closed the handle and sealed it.

Ben looked attentively at her work. She was quick, efficient and seemed to calculate her movements precisely. “Move back.” He said.

The girl obeyed. “Farther.” He said.

“Call it with the force.” He said.

The girl nodded and stretched out her hand. “Concentrate.” Ben said quickly, almost impatiently. He knew the girl could do it. She’d done it before in Takodana.

The scavenger glared and groaned. Suddenly the saber zoomed to her hand and hummed to life. It was a blue; of course, the girl was destined to fight.

Rey smiled brightly. “I did it.” She said happily. Ben nodded. “You did. Now you have to learn how to use it. We will begin your formal training once we reach the resistance base.”

Rey smiled big once more. It seemed she could not stop doing so. Ben felt the corners of his mouth try to lift up as well. He controlled himself and went back to working on his saber. Ben immersed himself on working the Kyber into the space. He smiled once the Kyber cracked. It was to be expected.

Ben moved away from the new saber and moved to where the girl had been. He opened his hand and the saber came to him. Ben ignited it and was surprised. It was a violet color, strong and violent. The lightsaber remained a cross guard. Ben knew it would. He swung it for balance and it was perfect.

“Is it supposed to be purple?” She asked.

Ben was mesmerized by the color. “I don’t know but I like it.” He said simply. The girl nodded.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

He was odd, very odd and Rey despised him. She would have hated to admit that she was jealous because he had Han and Leia. She craved a family; Maz had been right, her parents were not coming back for her.

Rey was wary of him. She was glad when General Organa tasked her to find master Skywalker. It was such a disappointment when Leia’s twin refused to train her.

She remembered his words, “I have only seen this raw power once it did not scare me then but is scares me know.”

Rey had tried to convince the older man. She knocked on his door for hours and then again after spending the night outside of his hut. It did not work. The Jedi master ultimately devised a Jedi mind trick where there was no more hut. Rey boarded the Falcon and returned to the resistance base. The first thing she noticed was the music. It was loud but not unpleasant. Finn hugged her hello. “He’s been playing it for almost three hours now. Han is outside the convoy. I do not know what they are going to do with him.”

Rey frowned and walked to her appointed quarters. They were next to Finn’s. He came to her small room. “Does anyone know who he really is?”

Finn shook his head, “no. Poe did not even know the General had a son. I think the high commanders know but no one has said anything.”

“He is a murderer.” Rey said angrily.

Finn nodded and took her hands. “He is their son. He also defected Rey.”

She frowned, “he killed people.”

Her first real friend hung his head, “I could have too.”

Rey sighed and grabbed his hand, “you are different. You are a good man Finn.”

Finn smiled at her, “what happened?”

Rey told her friend. He frowned, “We could go away Rey.”

She shook her head, “my place is here. I feel it. I know it, there is always been something. I have dreams about things and places that do not make sense to me.”

Finn one armed hugged her. “I will stay with you Peanut.” He said.

Rey frowned, “what is a peanut?”

Finn laughed and held her hand, “come with me. Peanuts are my favorite things after you and Poe. He showed me how to make a sandwich the other day.” He pulled her and they made their way into the kitchen.

Rey had her first peanut butter and jelly sandwich that day. She thought it was the most delicious thing in the world. She met Poe properly that day.

“So you are the famous Rey.” He said and grinned. Poe was a very good looking man.

Finn looked hopeful. Rey could tell he wanted his two friends to get along. “I am. Finn says you are the best pilot he’s seen.”

Poe looked at Finn and clapped him on the back. “Thanks pal.” He said.

“I wanted to thank you for taking care of BB-8.” He said with an open smile. Rey found herself smiling more and more.

“Not a problem.” Rey said as BB chirped away.

Rey spent the day with the boys. The music could be heard all around camp.

“Everyone is puzzled about it.” Poe explained. “It started earlier today. It is driving some of the old timers mad. I kind of like it.” He continued.

“It is the general’s son. He is force sensitive.” Poe said with a small smile. “There are rumors about him.”

Finn tried to contain himself. It was clear that he wanted to tell Poe. Rey intervened, it was not their place. In all ways General Organa was their leader and the face of the Resistance. “What have you heard?”

Poe shrugged, “you guys would know more since you brought him.”

Rey and Finn were ready for the lie. “Han brought him aboard. We do not really know much else.”

The pilot looked relieved, “the official story is that he was with his father, Han Solo. They were estranged from the General for years. He is force sensitive, Snoke singled him out years ago. Solo did not want him to become a Jedi and took him away.”

“Rumors are that he trained with Skywalker and was captured when Kylo Ren killed the Jedi. They say that he was imprisoned in Starkiller base. It would make sense; you saw when he landed. He was weak and needed medical assistance.” Poe said conspiratorially.

“Some say that he’s Kylo Ren.” Poe lowered his voice. “Of course they are mistaken. The General would never put the rebellion in such peril.”

Finn and Rey nodded. Poor Poe did not know how right those rumors were. “The General and Solo have kept him away from everyone. He’s been in that convoy for hours now.”

Rey went back to her rooms and slept some. She heard a small alarm hours later. The music was louder than before. She went to the fresher and turned on the shower. Rey had never enjoyed showers so close together; water in Jakku was for drinking not for washing. She washed quickly and then received a note.

“Report to General Organa’s quarters” It read.

Rey opened her drawers and dressed. The resistance had provided her with new clothes. She was happy that they were clean and in the colors she usually wore. Rey noticed that there was no more music playing. She wondered what happened to Ren.

General Organa and Han waited for her inside a door. The General looked happy. Rey caught some conversation. “I am going to make the stew he likes. The Alderaan with the green peppers. They should have them in the kitchens and that Corellian rice.” The older woman said with a smile.

Han chuckled. “Ben will devour whatever you make Princess. He was always hungry.”

Rey cleared her throat. She did not want to intrude but it was time they knew she was there.

“Hey kid.” Han smiled and Rey smiled back.

Leia hugged her, “you were very brave.” She said. They went to sit by the dining table that would no doubt hold dinner for Han’s family later.

“Master Skywalker refused to come with me.” Rey replied, ashamed to have failed the mission.

Han frowned, Leia placed a hand over his. “Rey, we have a proposition. You are force sensitive. You could be an asset to our cause. We want you to be trained.” The older woman said reassuringly.

Rey was confused, “Master Skywalker refused; he is the last Jedi. There is no one else.”

Leia shook her head. “Ben is force sensitive and he has Jedi training in the force.”

The girl frowned, “no. He’s evil. Kylo Ren killed many.”

Leia frowned as well, “Kylo Ren died. Ben Solo made his way back. He made mistakes and believe me, he’s paying for them. Ben always has, death and murder is something he has to live with now. Ben could train you well. Our wish is that you will accept and travel with Ben to build your own lightsaber.”

Han intervened, “kid, we are not pressuring you. There is a ship with your name if you wish to leave. We understand you have no attachments here but we would love to have you.” He smiled.

Rey looked at the older man and nodded. “My place is here; I feel it.”

Leia nodded and welcomed her once more. Rey said her goodbyes and went back to her quarters. She had agreed because of Han and because she had to find her place in all these. She knew these powers had to mean something. She was force sensitive. Rey needed to develop those abilities.

She was almost aggressive to him throughout their trip to the kyber mines. She confronted him and took satisfaction from his brief hurt eyes. His face was very expressive, even when he thought he could control himself. He set a very hard pace but was almost cordial to her.

Rey began to read the Jedi texts that same night when he fell asleep. She was in awe when she built her own lightsaber. He told her to empty her head and relax every night before going to sleep and it was hard but she tried. She could not help but think that he was odd. His lightsaber was now purple, still unstable but it was not deep red like his old one. He did not wear a mask anymore either. She cleared her thoughts but could not help but wonder about the training. He said they would discuss the texts and then train. She was excited and gave up on clearing her head. She thought about lightsaber, the first order and Jedi temples.

The ride back to the resistance was uneventful. He played songs once more. Rey liked some of them and hummed under her breath as she thumbed through the texts. She caught herself before singing along to, “you ain’t nothing but a hound dog.” Chewie growled and sang along. Rey frowned and moved to her rooms.

They reached the base in the early hours of night. “Tomorrow 7:00AM.” He said as he and Chewie moved to right. Chewie whined goodbye. Rey smiled at him and waved.

She found Finn and Poe in the mess hall. She sat by them and told them about her lightsaber. “I begin training tomorrow morning.”

“Finn and I are going on a mission.” Poe said.

“Where?” She asked.

Finn smiled at her, “Jakku.”

Poe rolled his eyes, “yes, not exactly there. We are recruiting and there have been some candidates in nearby planets. I am sorry but there is nothing in Jakku anymore.” Rey grinned. “There really is not.”

Finn grabbed her hand, “We will be back in two weeks and then I will tell you all about it and you will tell me all about your training.”

She grinned. “When do you leave?”

“Early afternoon. We forgot to tell you, Han Solo is coming with us. He’s the leader of our mission.”

Rey was surprised. “You could pilot yourself.”

“Yes, but he is the one with the connections. We also need supplies and he is still a world class smuggler.” Poe replied. Rey understood some more then. She spent more time talking to the boys and showed them her lightsaber.

“Whoa Rey.” Finn said in awe. Poe grinned. “We will win in no time.” He said when Rey swung her lightsaber. She blushed a little.

She woke up at 6:00 AM and read the books once more. She took notes and re-read them. Rey was a fast learner, always had been. She felt ready and confident. She combed her hair into her three buns and wore her beige clothes. The girl also ate some oatmeal in the mess hall. She loved it. Rey found that she loved all types of foods. She enjoyed all meals and sometimes took some food for later, just in case. She wrapped a piece of toast on a napkin and took it with her. Rey walked the halls when she realized that her teacher never said where to meet.

Rey tried to think where it could be. The resistance base did not have many places. There were the ship yards but that was highly unlikely. The mess hall was out of the question; it was too crowded. He was new around too. Where could he train her? She panicked for a few seconds. It was close to 7:00 AM now. He would be royally pissed if she were late. She thought to ask Finn for help when it clicked. The big convoy, Finn said that Kylo, no Ben, had played music there for almost a day before coming out.

She ran to the area where the old convoy was. He was there already; “You never said where we were meeting.” She reproached as she entered the space.

He looked up from some books he held. He sat, his legs outstretched in front of him. “I must have forgotten.” He said honestly. The man was infuriating.

Rey did not know what to do. She sat in front of him, “you said we had to discuss the Jedi texts.”

Ben nodded, “we have to.” He said and started with the blue one. “This is one of the oldest books…” Ben explained history while Rey listened attentively.

She asked him questions that Ben responded as honestly as it could it seemed. Rey understood the principle that the Force was everywhere. Master Skywalker told her initially. Ben expanded on the code and recited the words. Rey frowned, “you disagree.”

The man assented, “I do. There cannot be only serenity. We are flawed, there is chaos, destruction, jealousy, doubt, hatred within us. One cannot live a life of only serenity.” He said and then taught her more history.

They discussed the books for hours before her stomach growled. She took out her piece of toast and ate it quietly. “I wish you had not done that.” He said with a scowl.

Rey scowled back, “I was hungry and I had food.” She said as if excusing her behavior.

He rolled his eyes, “I planned to start combat training and now I cannot. You will likely puke that toast.”

Rey glared at him, “I could keep my food down.”

Her teacher shrugged, “Fine but we will start with basic meditation.” He said and dropped to the floor. He waved his hand to the stereo system and played music.

“I wish you would turn that off.” She said, expecting that he would.

“No.” He replied.

Rey was annoyed, the music was loud and she knew the lyrics, it was one of the ones that she hummed to on their trip back from the mines.

“London calling to the faraway towns
Now war is declared and battle come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us
Phony Beatlemania has bitten the dust
London calling, see we ain't got no swing
'Cept for the ring of that truncheon thing
The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in
Meltdown expected, the wheat is growin' thin
Engines stop running, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I, I live by the river
London calling to the imitation zone
Forget it, brother, you can go it alone
London calling to the zombies of death
Quit holding out and draw another breath
London calling and I don't want to shout
But when we were talking I saw you nodding out
London calling, see we ain't got no high
Except for that one with the yellowy eye
The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growin' thin
A nuclear era, but I have no fear
'Cause London is drowning, and I, I live by the river
The ice age is coming, the sun is zooming in
Engines stop running, the wheat is growin' thin
A nuclear era, but I have no fear
London is drowning, and I, I live by the river
Now get this
London calling, yes, I was there, too
An' you know what they said? Well, some of it was true!
London calling at the top of the dial
And after all this, won't you give me a smile?
I never felt so much a' like a'like a'like”

Rey tried not to sing but it was very hard, “London calling, London calling.” Her brain supplied. She failed miserably. Another song played, familiar once again, less loud but very distracting too.

“You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine
Well they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine
Well they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Yeah they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine
Well they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Ya know they said you was high-classed
Well, that was just a lie
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
You ain't nothin' but a hound dog
Cryin' all the time
Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit you ain't no friend of mine.”

Rey cleared her mind and tried. She was more successful, she barely heard or paid attention to the third song. She did not how long they stayed meditating. She was concentrated on a humming sound. It was the force; Rey knew it was. She could feel something more, less humming but strong, it felt like getting shocked from electricity, it was exciting. She was attracted to it. Rey thought, it felt like colors too. She knew one could not feel colors but if one could…She could feel purple. Rey was a smart girl; she knew that it was her teacher whom she could feel. She wondered if she could feel other people too.

“I don’t know maybe.” A voice said. Rey opened her eyes and it was her teacher. The force levitated her a bit. She felt the ground once she lost concentration.

“Can you feel people?” She asked as they stood up.

“Yes.” He said off handedly. Rey thought he was being an entitled bastard once more. He had gifts that seemed to come so easy to him and yet he changed it all to be in the dark side.

“It is not as wonderful as you think.” He replied a little angry. “Imagine being four and feeling everyone around you. I could feel Han and Leia and I thought that was normal. My dad used to be annoyed at my mom but she would make it right. One day we were at the park. Leia worked late that day so it was only me and dad. I felt the men around, I felt hatred for my father. “A Corellian smuggler, scum married to a Senator.” Someone thought. It is overwhelming and annoying. It took me years to control all of that. I sincerely hope you do not have to experience that.” He finished roughly.

Rey was shocked and felt terrible. “I apologize. I never thought.”

He frowned, “I don’t need your pity.” He walked out the convoy.

“We have to find training space.” Her teacher said and walked briskly. Rey followed him, she was a little ashamed and did not understand why.

The base was very small. The resistance was to stay hidden at all times. The convoy would not do. They ended up outside between the main living quarters building and the shipyards and hangar.

Ben seemed to not want to train there. “We have nowhere else.” She replied.

“You are correct.” He said annoyed and began their class.

Rey rolled her eyes when he taught her some defense stances. “I know hand to hand combat. I need to train.”

It was his turn to pull a face, “Basics first.” He gritted out.

He taught her to defend herself, and balance the saber and her weight. “Your arm will get tired if you just charge without balancing.” He said and showed her.

Rey was tired after an hour. “You need to improve your resistance. Running and meditating helps.” He said as he turned his saber off.

“I am in shape.” She breathed out tiredly.

“Not for this you are not. You have to build your resistance.” He said as if talking to a small child.

This man drove her to aggression. “Fine, how long do I run?” She asked.

“An hour before and after training.” Her teacher said as he left.

Rey was sweaty and tired. She showered and then looked at the time, she had to see Finn and Poe off. She changed clothes and then went to the hangar.

Finn grinned as did Poe. “Hey Peanut.” He said and hugged her.

“How was your day of training? They tell me you spent hours just there.” He pointed to where Ben and her trained.

“I did. He’s an asshole but I am learning.” She said and smiled sweetly at him.

Poe smiled and flirted with her. “I bet you will be more beautiful and stronger when I come back.” Rey laughed at him and punched his arm.

“Young Jedi Mistress, you pack a punch.” He said and kissed her goodbye.

She felt the electricity, it was not because of Poe but because of Ben. He was near. She was correct, Ben Solo and his mother had come to see Han and Chewie off.

He changed into a dark shirt and blue pants; his hair was wet. General Organa held his arm. Han came out the Falcon. He grinned at his family and walked to them.

The three friends watched from the corner of their eyes. Rey could hear the conversation, “I will be back with supplies.” He said and smiled winningly.

“This is goodbye for now.” He said, “Your worshipfulness.” He bowed and kissed her hands.

General Organa laughed and hugged him. “Be good and safe.” She said as she kissed her husband.

It was Ben’s turn to say goodbye. Ben Solo was slightly taller than his father, “Be good to your mother.” He said and hugged him.

“I will.” Ben replied with a smirk.

“You could come with me Ben.” Han said while looking at his wife.

Ben shook his head and inched closer to Leia. “We will wait for you and uncle Chewie I swear.”

General Organa looked elated at the gesture. Rey could not feel her in the force. Maybe Rey could only feel people she was in close proximity to.

“Bye Rey.” Finn and Poe hugged her once more.

She could feel Ben’s eyes on her. Rey could feel annoyance. She was annoyed at seeing him too.

Han came close to them. “You two, go tell Chewie to start her up.”

The older man smiled at her, “Well kid, I will see you around. Keep training.” He said and gave her a brief hug.

Rey smiled at him, “good luck Han.”

The Solos and her watched as the Falcon took off.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

He trained with her every day and it was paying off. The scavenger was a quick learner. It had been a month since they started with the training. Ben had managed to keep up a routine. He woke up at 5:00 AM after his regular nightmares. He mediated until 6:00AM and put his mental shields against Snoke. It seemed the supreme leader grew tired of trying to get into his mind. His attacks were feeble now. Maybe Ben was stronger; Ben would usually think of happy memories from his childhood or feelings he received from his mother. She was ecstatic that he stayed with her and he felt it through the force.

Ben would shower and eat breakfast with his mother from 6:30AM to 7:00AM. Threepio would usually chatter away. Ben wanted to dismember him. His mother forbade him. She would tell him about what she wanted to accomplish. His father would be asleep at the time. Ben internally agreed with his father’s philosophy that morning started at 9:00AM. Alas, the nightmares woke him much earlier. Ben saw his father in the afternoons.

He would then walk to the convoy and discuss the force and history of the Jedi and Sith with the scavenger until 1:00PM. Ben would then walk around until 1:30PM and then go to the Falcon and have lunch with his father and uncle Chewie. Han came back with all sorts of supplies and much more music for his son.

“You know all the ones you have already.” Han said and handed him thousands of more songs.

Ben smiled at his father. “Thank you.” Han smiled back.

They would talk about Leia, the resistance and the training with Rey. “She’s a good kid. I like her.”

Ben rolled his eyes as he ate an apple. “She is annoying and bull headed.” Ben said on many occasions.

Han would shrug and ask him to help around fixing the Falcon. Ben would rejoin the scavenger at 3:00PM. They would do physical training until 8:00PM. He was done teaching her basic defense and would train her on combat that day. Ben had dinner with his parents from 8:00 to 9:00PM. His mom tried to cook all the foods he liked. He appreciated that and the fact that she did not force him to attend mass dinners. Apparently she used to eat with all her rebels but had not done so since him and dad came back to her.

“You two are all I need.” She said and kissed both of them. Ben smiled at her. He felt his mom’s love through the force. He let her feel some of what he felt.

“OH Bennie.” She said and cried into his chest.

His dad looked at him with puzzled eyes. “I reached out to her with the force.” He said gently. Han smiled happily. “Good.”

By 9:00PM Ben meditated, showered and tried to sleep. He sometimes slept like a rock for a few hours before he felt the headaches or had nightmares. It was a nice routine and he thrived on it. His day left him very little time to think too much.

“Concentrate.” He growled once again. She was everywhere all at once.

“I cannot. I really like that song.” She’d say. It was one of his favorites too that’s why he’d put it on so that they both concentrated and meditated through distraction.

“This hit, that ice cold
Michelle Pfeiffer, that white gold
This one for them hood girls
Them good girls straight masterpieces
Stylin', wilin', livin' it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
Got kiss myself, I'm so pretty
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money, break it down
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Stop, wait a minute
Fill my cup, put some liquor in it
Take a sip, sign a check
Julio, get the stretch
Ride to Harlem, Hollywood
Jackson, Mississippi
If we show up, we gon' show out
Smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Make a dragon wanna retire man
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Bitch say my name you know who I am
I'm too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad 'bout that money
Break it down
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
Girls hit your hallelujah (whoo)
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
'Cause uptown funk gon' give it to you
Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch (come on)
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Before we leave
Lemmi tell y'all a lil' something
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up uh
I said uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Come on, dance, jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
If you freaky then own it
Don't brag about it, come show me
Come on, dance
Jump on it
If you sexy then flaunt it
Well it's Saturday night and we in the spot
Don't believe me just watch come on!
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch uh
Don't believe me just watch
Don't believe me just watch
Hey, hey, hey, oh
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up
Uptown funk you up (say what?)
Uptown funk you up.”

He tried to concentrate and so did she and it was useless. He could feel her laughter.

He felt the corners of his mouth lift a little. “I know you want to laugh and move to it too.” She said brightly.

“I do not.” Ben replied with a straight face.

Rey grinned. “We have trained and studied for hours. You have noticed Ben come on. This is not fair. You cannot concentrate either.” She said and stood up.

“We have to do combat now. You said we would start today.” She was excited over finally using lightsabers.

Ben frowned and stood up, “I said we would after you meditated through distraction.”

The girl rolled her eyes, “The First Order is not going to play Uptown Funk.”

“You do not even know if it is called that.” Ben called out.

“I know it is.” She replied. Ben gave up and followed her. They did not know all the names of the songs; the titles were not in there sometimes. Rey had taken to naming them. In all honesty there were done with the History of the Jedi and Sith. She knew all there had to be and he was always bored during those lessons growing up.

“Fine. We’ll begin training.” He said as they arrived. There were some people around the ships.

Ben and Rey had grown used to the audience. Ben hoped that they would leave. It would be the first time they really combatted.

“Turn it on.” She said. Ben had taken to using the sound system here as well.

“From the beginning.” She’d said.

“AH AH AH AH
We come from the land of the ice and snow.”

Ben removed his shirt and remained on a black undershirt. He lit up the lightsaber. He heard the music and the sounds around. It was the first time the resistance saw the ignited sabers. Ben and her had trained with wooden staves. He heard some “ohs.”

He attacked first. Rey blocked the attack and tried as well. Ben continued his onslaught on the girl; he pushed and forced her to block him.

Rey attacked and came close to hitting him on the side. Ben smirked and decided to up the stance. He swung the lightsaber in front of him and aimed for her left leg. The girl smiled and moved to the side. She turned and aimed for his stomach. The song changed and it was something more chaotic and it filled him with energy.

“Living easy, living free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too”

He felt raw energy from her and it was wonderful. Ben felt her pulse. She was light, life and was pink. He felt her, and she was the pink of afternoons in Chandrila. She was excited and so was he. Ben pushed into her. He gave her no quarter. He was sweaty and so was she. He soaked his undershirt.

“I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell.”

He felt like he could not breathe from her energy and took off the black undershirt. She attacked once more. Ben lowered himself and avoided her lightsaber. He fought her again and again. She was not only defending but attacking as well. Ben felt proud of her.

“No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me around
Hey Satan, paid my dues
Playing in a rocking band
Hey mama, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land, whoo!
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
Don't stop me
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway
Yeah, highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
Highway to hell
And I'm going down
All the way
Whoa!
I'm on the highway to hell.”

It was time to be done. Ben could feel the circle around them growing and he was tired of given them their show. He looked at her and swung low. She jumped away from the lightsaber’s sting and fell to the ground. Ben intended to end it there, turn off the lightsaber but his young apprentice was as quick as a cat. She leaped and attacked again.

Ben laughed at her. Rey smirked and fought some more. It was more intense now. The whole base was there looking at them fight. The song changed and it gave him time to focus on her once more. She was soaked through her white clothing.

“Please could you stop the noise
I'm trying to get some rest
From all the unborn chicken voices in my head
What's that?
What's that?
When I am king, you will be first against the wall
With your opinion which is of no consequence at all
What's that?
What's that?
Ambition makes you look pretty ugly
Kicking, squealing Gucci little piggy
You don't remember
You don't remember
Why don't you remember my name?
Off with his head, man
Off with his head, man
Why don't you remember my name?
I guess he does

Rey still fought him savagely. He was stronger, it would be easy to use the force and just choke her. He would not do it. Kylo would have. Ben tilted his head and advanced with the saber once more.

“Rain down, rain down
Come on rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height, height
Rain down, rain down
Come on, rain down on me
From a great height
From a great height
Rain down, rain down (that's it, sir, you're leaving, the crackle of pigskin)
Come on rain down on me (the dust and the screaming, the yuppies networking)
From a great height (the panic, the vomit, the panic, the vomit)
God loves his childrean
God loves his children, yeah”

She went for his neck once more. Ben used the force and pushed her aside. She did not stay down and yelled at him. Lightsaber on hand. Her lightsaber connected with his and it was clear that he could overpower her. He tried to do so. Ben flexed his arms and smiled.

Rey smiled as well. She was smug and would not stand down. They were burning each other with the power of the blades. Her hands were bleeding, her lightsaber connected with his upper arm and he stung her with the side blades.

He looked into her eyes and could see all. He saw a young Rey, the first real memory she had. They left her in the dessert. Her parents sold her for drinking money. They were probably dead by now. Ben saw her crying, alone, scared and betrayed. Rey barely had to eat when she was young. It was heartbreaking; all she ever wanted was somebody. She wanted to belong and was so incredibly lonely. He saw her grow up, scrappy, fearless and at the same time so scared of everything.

Ben looked deeper and deeper. He could not look away. Ben understood that she was looking as well. It was a two-way connection. She would know it all and Ben thought it would be fine. He wanted her to see. She was like him. There was loud music still playing and the lightsabers created heat, blinding light as they connected. That same light burned their torsos and faces.

“ENOUGH.” General Organa yelled. Ben looked to the side, his mother was there and she looked scared. Rey breathed harshly and had tears on her eyes. She turned off her saber and so did Ben.

He was breathing harshly too. “Go back to your posts.” The General said.

They moved slowly. Ben could not look at Rey’s face. It seemed she could not look at him either. Her friends were by Rey’s side in no time. Good, it gave her a distraction away from him.

“You will not train with lightsabers again.” His mother sounded angry. She felt angry too.

She came to him and looked at his cheek, “you need bacta on that.”

“You too come on.” She motioned to Rey.

Ben limped to the medial bay, the bots started their work. He felt her distinctly. She could also feel him.

“What possessed you to use the lightsabers?” His mother said quickly.

“We were ready for it.” Ben supplied as he felt the bot work on his face.

Rey’s friends were angry with him. Ben could have rolled his eyes. The girl could take care of herself. Hell, she cut his face more than once. Ben did not reach out to her. He would not be like Snoke; an unwanted voice in the girl’s head.

“Wait until I tell your father about this.” His mother said. Ben smirked a bit; he was almost thirty years old. It did not matter what his father or mother thought. He was an adult.

Someone came to the general’s side. “I will go to the meeting after this.” She said; Ben saw conflict.

“Go, I’ll see you at dinner.” He said and waited for the bot to dress his ankle.

Ben showered and rested until dinner. He was starving by the time he reached his parents’ quarters.

He had third helpings of everything. “Your mother told me about this afternoon.” His father began.

Ben ate his dessert, an apple custard with cream, “it was a simple combat. It got out of hand. Mom already said she we were not allowed to use lightsabers anymore.”

“Son, you need to keep your temper in check.” His father continued.

Ben was confused, “I wasn’t angry, neither was she. We were just training.”

His father nodded, “case closed Leia. You should not have worried so much. Ben’s already said it will not happen again.”

His mother did not look so convinced. Ben grabbed her hand. “It will not happen again. I promise.” His mother kissed his hand.

“Thank you.” She said a little more at ease.

Ben spent some more time with them until it was 9:00PM. “Good night.” He said and kissed his mother.

He made it to his quarters and then saw her. She was looking in the fresher’s mirror; Ben was standing behind her.

She turned, “What are you doing here?” Rey shrieked.

Ben frowned, “I am in my quarters, can you see my surroundings?”

Rey gasped, “I can. Why is this happening?”

He knew why, it was because of earlier. He had to ask her; “did you see my memories?” He was curious.

She looked embarrassed, “I did, I’m sorry, I never meant to...”

“It is fine; I saw yours too.” He replied,

“Oh.” It was all she said. Rey moved to her bed.

She was gone. Ben sighed and changed into his sleeping clothes. He emptied his mind and tried to sleep.

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Rey could not sleep; she had the picture of a young Ben Solo in her mind. She had felt his fears, the depth of his feelings when he was a youngling. He’d been just as alone as she was. Rey felt terrible for all the times she thought him entitled. She tried to put herself in his shoes. Rey did not know if she would have fared any better. He’d been in her room but really he had not been there.

She was ashamed the next morning. Rey had not taken her lightsaber with her.

Ben sat down with a book in his hands. “Good morning.”

Rey sat in front of him. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday.”

He did not meet her eyes and continued to look at his book, “I should be apologizing too. I saw things too.”

Rey shook her head, “it was nothing. I am apologizing for being rude to you.”

Ben shrugged. Rey felt anger again and then remembered the crying boy. “Do not give that pitying look.” He hissed.

“I am not.” She defended.

“You are and I don’t need it. It’s in the past, it’s all behind.” He continued and raised his voice a little.

Rey was not deterred, “but it hurts you. It still does.”

Ben frowned, “as it hurts that they will not come back for you.” He said spitefully.

Rey’s eyes watered. He looked as sad, “I did not mean to.”

“But you did.” She said and wiped some tears.

“It’s done. What are we learning today?” She would not let him get to her. Rey would be the bigger person.

“Nothing. We will no longer meet in the mornings.” He said clearly.

Rey was more than annoyed now, “I apologized already. It was a mistake. It will not happen again. I still have a lot to learn, I know it so.”

He did not say anything for a long while. “Please, I have to keep training.” She continued.

“I cannot teach you anymore history of the Jedi. I have taught you all that was worthwhile. Rey. You have all the texts and we’ve discussed them until we are both tired of speaking.” He said lightly.

Rey frowned, “So what are we to do?”

Ben arched an eyebrow at her, “We will train in the afternoons as we have been doing but your mornings are yours once more.”

She blinked at him, “thank you.” Rey left the convoy and went to see Finn who worked with Poe on the ships.

“Hey Peanut!” He yelled.

“Morning sunshine.” Poe also yelled.

She smiled despite herself. “What are you two doing?” BB8 tolled around and handed them tools.

“Fixing her.” Poe replied.

“Question is why are you here? Why are you not training with tall, dark and sullen?” Poe said with a smile.

Rey frowned, “his name is Ben.”

“I would not know since he’s never even said a word to anyone that is not you or his parents.” Poe said with annoyance.

Finn rolled his eyes. Poe wanted everyone to be his friend and Ben Solo had not been the exception. Only problem was that Ben was not interested and did not make himself available.

“He’s reserved.” She said and then ignored Poe. She helped Finn with some engines and then ate lunch with them. Rey noticed two girls making eyes at Poe. She shrugged when they glared at her.

She was keyed up when she went to their training space. Ben was there already he handed her a staff and they began their training. It was tiring but at least she did not have to run afterwards. She had been “in shape” for two weeks now.

Ben gave her no quarter and seemed to be even more aggressive without the lightsabers. He was sweaty and so was she. Ben broke her staff and knocked the wind out of her with a single strike.

She gasped and kicked his knee. He fell but then he used the force to throw her off. Rey fell to the ground. He rushed to her as did Poe who happened to be walking to base.

“Get away from her you animal.” Her friend yelled. He helped her to a sitting position. Poe fretted over her but she looked at Ben. He looked sick with himself.

“Are you ok?” Ben rushed out.

“Yes, I am.” She said and stood up with Poe’s help.

“We have to get to the medical bay.” Poe said and helped her walk.

Ben did not follow them. “I am fine; it was just our training.”

Poe laughed mockingly, “no, he punched you on the stomach and then threw you with the force. I may not be force sensitive but I have common sense and that is violence. Wait until I tell Finn about this. Solo may have the force but Finn and I could take him.” There was no hint of playfulness in his voice.

The bot finished working on her side, “don’t be stupid. He did not hurt me. I already told you; it is part of my training.”

“I care for you Rey. I don’t want you to go back to training with him. I have seen you fight. You are good, skilled and you have the force. You don’t have to train anymore.” Her pilot friend said with a smile and caressed her face.

“You do not understand.” She said and got out of the bed.

She could see Finn hurting to her side, “Peanut, are you ok?” He said and hugged her gently.

“I’m fine Finn.” Rey welcomed the hug. Finn kissed her forehead. “What happened?”

Rey explained and then Poe gave his account of events. The girl frowned throughout, “untrue, I know how to take care of myself.” She said hotly.

Finn looked at her, “I believe you but Poe is right. You cannot let him hurt you so. The training has to stop now.”

Rey was angry. They did not understand that it had been an accident. She shook them away and left the bay. She had to find Ben.

She looked for him in the convoy and then asked around base. No one had seen him. Rey closed her eyes and tried to find his signature within the force. She could not find him. Rey spent hours trying to reach him. She meditated and fell into a fitful sleep.

Rey found him in her dreams. She knew that it was the force.

He was sitting on his bed. Rey sat up on hers as well.

“It was not your fault.” She said harshly.

“It was. I thought I could but it’s bigger than me. I cannot pretend that it is not there. I like hurting people. I always have.” He said and his eyes were sad.

“That’s not true.” Rey said and she was convinced. Anyone who left such pain at the idea of hurting others was not truly evil. She came closer and sat next to him.

Ben looked at her and caressed her face. Rey felt electricity. They’d never touched like this. She realized; he never touched her. Rey leaned into him. It was as if she were starved for him.

“I can feel all of you.” He said and traced her left cheek.

“You are not alone.” He said and hugged her.

Rey hugged him back and nuzzled his cheek. “Neither are you Ben.” They hugged until it was time for bed. “You have to go back to your bed.” He pulled away from her.

“In a minute.” She said and held on. Eventually they laid on his bed. It was obvious that Ben was massive compared to her. She occupied a small space between the wall and his chest.

Rey slept easy that night. She woke up alone in her bed. She thought it has surely been a dream but realized that she could taste and feel purple.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Ben asked her if she was fine and then saw as the pilot rushed to her. She looked confused. He realized what he did the moment she flew. He regretted it instantly.

The pilot was right. He’d meant to go to the bay with her but the pilots look of fear and contempt stopped him. He’d called him animal. Ben asked if she was fine again and then left for the Falcon.

His dad was working on the Falcon as always. “You’re here early.” He said cheerfully.

Ben did not realize he was shaking until his dad sat him down.

“What happened?” He asked and told uncle Chewie to get him water.

“I hurt her. We were training and I used the force. Rey flew and landed on the ground.” Ben rushed out.

Han grabbed his shoulders. “Look at me.”

Ben could not meet his eyes, “son, look at me.” His dad said more forcefully.

“Tell me exactly how it happened.” He said once Ben looked at him. The younger man explained in details what happened.

“You did not mean it Ben. I would recommend to stop the physical training too, at least the combat. She is skilled; she will pick up whatever you teach her in isolation.” His father reassured.

Ben nodded, “I cannot train her any longer. Dad, I have to leave. It’s starting again. I hurt people and things. They were scared; her pilot friend and the rest they were fearful of me.”

His dad shook his head, “we have to stay with your mother. She needs us here; no more training.”

Ben nodded and put his head between his legs; he was nauseous. “This was a bad idea. I should have never trained her.”

Han sighed and sat next to him. “It was. Luke should have taken her in.” Ben stiffened but remained quiet.

“Go shower; you smell.” His father said.

Ben washed off and went to his rooms in the Falcon. “I am going to rest for a bit.” He played songs and then meditated. He felt pink and stopped. Ben blocked her out completely. Rey was learning but she was far too young and inexperienced to crack his shields.

His dad woke him up. “Your mom is waiting for us.”

Ben yawned and sat up. He’d changed into his dad’s old clothes once more. He walked with him to their quarters. His mother had made a Corellian soup they loved. Leia never ate it much but Ben and his father lived for the stuff.

They were hungry and ate all of it. Ben had seconds. He waited for his mom to speak about what happened. Surprisingly, she did not immediately jump into a talk. Ben sat with them and waited for his mother.

Leia Organa retrieved a book and read. Ben looked at his dad who shrugged.

“You are not going to talk about what happened?” Ben asked.

Leia looked at him owlishly. “What happened?”

“Surely you must know. I trained with Rey and I threw her to the ground. I used the force.” He finished.

His mother sighed, “you were training. It was bound to happen. I fail to see why this is such a big deal.”

Ben felt a little relieved, “I do not want to train her anymore. I am done.”

Leia nodded, “fine.” He was surprised by her quick acceptance.

“Fine.” He replied and stood up to retrieve dessert from his mother’s fridge. He offered a piece to his dad who invited him to card game.

Ben played with his dad, “no cheating.” Han said. Ben smirked. He stayed longer that night.

“Good night mom.” He said and kissed her cheek.

“Sleep well.” She said.

His dad hugged him goodbye as well. His parents did that. They hugged and kissed him every time he left for his own quarters. Ben did not mind it much. He had missed them very much.

Ben meditated and blocked Rey out until he fell asleep. He tasted pink; she was in front of him sleeping and then sat up.

He must have looked more than ashamed. Rey came to him and sat by his side.

“It was not your fault.” She said and then touched him. “I can feel all of you.” He did not remember who said it but he felt it too. She was pink and warm and just right. They hugged and after hours Ben realized that she had to go back to her own bed.

They ended up nestled on his bed. Ben held her. She was slim and somewhat average height for her age and build but she felt impossibly smaller than him.

Ben slept easier with her on his chest. He woke up alone; the connection had broken but he still felt pink and her.

Ben stood up and went about his day. He washed and wore all black. His mother kissed his forehead and had caf with him. “Your father is worried.” She said lightly.

The younger man piled on toast and cream cheese. “I know he is.” Ben replied. “Why aren’t you?”

His mother smirked at him, “because I don’t have to. I have seen you fight him every day my love. I can feel the struggle. I gave her to you because she grounded you.”

Ben remained quiet as his mother continued, “it worked to our advantage. You had a purpose and trained Rey on the force.”

He sighed and drank more of his caf, “My decision stands.”

His mother nodded, “What do you have planned for today?”

“I am reading a book and then helping dad with the Falcon.” He said honestly.

Leia sighed, “You’re coming for dinner tonight?” She always asked, she always asked and Ben said yes.

“Yes.” He said and finished eating his toast.

Leia kissed his cheek and left to do whatever she did with her day.

Ben entered the convoy and started reading. He really should have gone back to his room but he liked the convoy better. It was more spacious and there was natural light streaming through the clear roof. He read eleven pages before Rey came in.

“Hi.” She said and sat by him.

He actively ignored her. “Ben please.” She said. “I want to keep training. You said you would help. I did not dream last night.”

Ben heard and felt her fear. He could not hurt her, at least not knowingly.

“You did not.” He said and closed his book.

She grinned and inched closer. “Train me please.” She said.

“Rey, I can’t, not after what happened yesterday. I hurt you.” He said.

She was angry with him now, “So I’ll hurt you and then we’ll be even.” Rey replied.

Ben laughed at her and Rey hit him hard on the shoulder, “Stop that.”

The girl frowned, “No.” She hit him once again.

“Hey, that’s enough.” He said when she yanked his hair.

Ben stood up and left the convoy. He walked away but Rey hit him with her staff. Ben turned and caught the other staff she threw. She lunged at him, Ben moved aside but she caught his back. It was on. They combatted once again. She had a way to bend his will and do whatever she wanted.

He vowed to not train with her and here he was sweaty and working with her. He gave her instructions as she fought him. “Higher, lower, apply more force to the right.” He told her. The men and women surrounded them.

The rebels came and went as the combat was deadlocked. They were done when Ben broke his staff trying to lift his weight to kick Rey’s staff away. “Thank you.” Rey said as she caught her breath.

“Same time tomorrow.” He said and felt strange when she gave him a smile.

Ben went to the Falcon. “You smell disgusting. Get out of here.” His father said.

“What were you doing? Rolling around with Banthas?” His father pushed him out of the Falcon. “You are going to stink her up. Go shower and look for your mother. She asked for you earlier.”

Ben frowned, “what about lunch?” He was used to being in the Falcon for those hours.

“Change of plans kid. We are having lunch with your mother and then leaving on a mission.” Han said.

Ben moved his jaw, “you are going away?” he asked.

“Yes, you, me and Chewie. We are going to Chandrila.” Ben felt lighter. He was included in this mission.

“Why?” Ben asked as they walked back to base.

“Your mother will explain.” Han smiled.

Ben showered and dressed quickly. He dressed in a white shirt and blue pants. The young man made his way into his parents’ quarters in no time.

Ben ate everything and had dessert as his mother explained the mission. It was fairly simple. His dad and him were to visit the old senate buildings and retrieve information from the databases. Ben was also tasked to recruit and have as many men and women see him. “We need them to know that you are back. They all think you died; you are their prince. The people will have so much more hope after they see you.” His mother said fervently.

“You have too much faith in me mother and I am not a prince. Chandrila does not have royalty.” Ben argued.

His father laughed, “Well, your mother is a princess so that makes you a prince. The last prince of Alderaan they used to call you.”

Leia smiled, “I remember, Chandrila claimed you as their prince after they called you that. I know you think it is all nonsense but it means something to them. It means hope and we need all the help that we can get.”

“Mom, you are selling them lies.” Ben said a little angry at her.

It was not his mother who replied but his father, “she is not. You are the last prince of Alderaan and Chandrila named you prince as well. She has the certificates and holovideos somewhere.”

“I am responsible for the killing of so many. It is dishonest for me to do this.” Ben thought he had gained the upper hand. There was no point in denying that he had killed many in the resistance.

His mother frowned back, “take it as punishment then. You will see their suffering, you will see the oppressed and see the how Snoke has extinguished so many in his plight for power.”

“Leia.” His father said warningly.

Ben felt as if he had been hit by his mother. “Is this an order General?”

Leia looked back at him with hard eyes, “it is. I love you very much Ben and it is time that you make decisions for yourself. Your decision to accept means full involvement with the rebellion.” She finished.

“Yes mother.” He said

His mother tried to stop herself from reaching out to him. “So you agree.”

Ben nodded, “I do. You are correct. I have to commit to your plight, otherwise why am I here.”

His mother could not hold it anymore and went to hug him. “You are truly back.” Ben knew that a small, irrational, fearful part of her heart thought that she would never have her whole Ben back.

“I have acquired clothes for you.” She said excitedly.

“These are fine.” Ben said while looking at his clothes.

Han smiled, “No, son, you are going to wear old senate clothing like your grandfather Organa. You are after all representing your mother’s side on this mission.”

Leia grinned, “braids and all. Go ahead and change. You will leave the base in full dress.”

Ben took the clothes his father offered. They were black at least. Ben had to admit he liked the leather vest and the black robes. He put on the boots and then met his mother. “You look wonderful.”

Ben frowned, “I feel ridiculous.” He muttered.

His father shook his head, “Stop” he mouthed.

His mother smoothed his uniform. “You are very handsome. All the girls are going to swoon when they see you leave.”

Han rolled his eyes, “they already swoon. He gives all the base quite a show every day when he trains Rey.”

Ben rolled his eyes back. “Could you please just do it and be done?” He was getting exasperated.

His mother set to work; she combed and untangled his hair gently. She parted his hair and made four neat braids. “Perfect.”

“You look so very handsome.” His mother gushed when he stood up.

“Those are my genes and looks.” Han said and clapped him on the back.

Han walked out first, Ben offered his arm to his mother who took it. “Remember, the data first and then let everyone see you. “Clip your lightsaber too. Let them know who you are, let them remember.”

“Mother, I am a Solo.” He said gently.

“You are.” She said as they walked, “you look very much like your father. He was very handsome too. You’ll age nicely.”

Ben made a face. “Stop thinking about him like that. It’s disgusting mom.” She laughed and leaned into him. “I love your father.”

Ben shook his head. It was show time, the people in the hallways quieted as they saw them walk. They were taken aback by his appearance. His father was correct, there were some girls ogling him.

They reached the yards quickly, his father went inside the Falcon first. He needed to start her up and show uncle Chewie the course that they were going to take. It appeared the whole resistance was there. He could feel Rey near, she was confused, no one knew he was about to leave on mission.

Han came back and said his goodbye to Leia. “Goodbye sweetheart. Take care of yourself now.” He kissed her lips gently.

“May the Force be with you my brave scoundrel.” She said to his father.

“Mother.” Ben said and kneeled to kiss her hand. She was a princess after all. Leia smiled, she was satisfied by her son’s commitment.

“Be well Ben. May the force be with you my prince.” She grinned and kissed his forehead. Ben had to crouch down for his mother to do so.

“Where are you going?” He heard her inside his head.

“Mission.” He thought. “When are you coming back?” She asked him.

“I don’t know.”

“I will be back Rey.” He said as if reassuring her. Ben did not dare look at her as he boarded the ship.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

Rey did not say anything back. Ben undid the cape and helped his dad with the Falcon. Uncle Chewie went to sleep, something about getting ready for the mission.

“Of course he’ll stay back. He’s too recognizable.” His father said as they flew through space.

“And I am not.” Ben pointed to his garments.

Han nodded, “which is why I have your clothes for you in your room. Leave the braids though. You will be changing back into Aldeeran clothes when you are done retrieving the data.” Ben nodded and went to his quarters.

Ben smiled, those were more like it; black pants, beige shirt and a black vest. Ben decided to keep the black cape. He came back and his father smiled. “You do look like me.” He said and laughed.

The younger man smirked a bit. They had an uneventful five-day trip. Ben meditated and it seemed her abilities to sense Rey diminished as he entered other systems. He played music and read. Ben also played cards with his dad and uncle Chewie. The wookie roared when Ben won for a third time in a row.

“I am not cheating uncle Chewie! You’re easy to read.” He said when Chewie accused him.

Han laughed, “my kid is right Chewie.”

Ben was cheating though and Han knew it. His father went over the plan. The old senate building was guarded by fifteen Stormtroopers. Ben remembered, this building had been one of the firsts to fall to the First Order. Ben remembered the few conversations when Hux bragged about it. Kylo Ren was not in charge of politics. Him and his knights were in charge of interrogating rebels and leading attacks on resistance groups.

“According to your mother she safeguarded a list of groups, places and other allies that could help the resistance.” Han said.

Ben frowned, “she could not have known that early on.” Ben remembered that the First Order had worked swiftly and effectively to overthrow the Republic.

Han shook his head, “she knew. She’s always felt you Ben. Never underestimate your mother. It’s something I learned the hard way.”

Ben did not want to talk about that anymore, “How are we going get into the senate?”

Han refocused, “I know a guy. What’s important is that I get you inside.”

The younger man nodded, “and then what?”

“Then we go into the market place and let them see you. It is a quick visit Ben.” Han said softly.

Ben did not remember the last time that he was in Chandrila. They were in orbit and landed quickly. It was early morning and the city looked ravaged. Ben remembered beautiful gardens, flowers and lots of green and blue. Chandrila was not the same. The people did not smile, there was no noise only Stormtroopers and scared people rushing from place to place. He followed his father into the Senate. A Stormtrooper let them in, “one of ours.” His father finished.

“You go into the chamber and I will wait for you outside.” His father pointed a blaster to to the left. Ben made his way into her mother’s old office and chipped the inside of the wall; inside was the chip with all the information he needed.

Ben moved and found his father quickly. It was a seamless mission. They traveled to the market and it all went wrong. A Stormtrooper recognized Ben and fired. He ignited his lightsaber and fought him and the rest of them. His father blasted some of them but was not as quick as Ben. The older man received a blast to his lower leg. Ben used his lightsaber to decapitate the Stormtrooper. He finished the other three as Han took cover under a once fruit stand.

“Dad, can you walk?” Ben said hurriedly and looked at the leg injury.

“I can take care of it in the Falcon.” Ben said as he lifted his father,

Han limped with him. They were surrounded by officials and stormtroopers.

Ben grabbed his lightsaber. “Put it away.” His dad hissed.

There was a girl, maybe twelve years old. She motioned for him to follow her, his dad nodded and they went along.

The girl lived with two older people who put shushed them.

“You’ll be safe here.” The older man said. The woman nodded and held the girl.

Ben peeked through a window. “They’re close.” Ben knew the old couple had good intentions but the Stormtroopers would come into the little shack and ransack it any moment now.

He concentrated and remembered an old Jedi trick. “We’re invisible. There is no one here.” He said the Stormtroopers looked without seeing. They pointed their blasters at them and then left.

Ben sighed in relief and looked at his father, “We need to get you into the Falcon now.”

The old man shook his head, “you must wait my prince; at least for tonight.”

Ben shook his head, “We have to go now. I don’t like the looks of that.” He pointed to his father’s wound.

Han shook him off, “Ben, they’re right we have to wait, at least until nightfall.”

They waited until it was dark. Ben tried to tick his father into feeling less pain but the leg could be fractured which could complicate their trip back.

The old couple and the girl helped them out of the market. “Come with us.” Ben said. “It is too dangerous here.”

The old woman smiled softly, “this is our home. We will wait until you defeat the First Order. We will have feasts and toasts in your honor my prince.”

His father looked faint, “Thank you Karima.” Ben said to the little girl who smiled at him.

He hurried and boarded the Falcon, uncle Chewie whined low and helped him with an injured Han. “I’ll be fine; jut fly us out of here.”

Ben did so in no time. He flew the Falcon as fast as he could. He made it to base faster than he thought he could. Ben was surprised to feel Rey closer and closer. It seemed their connection was definitely affected by distance.

The man was focused on getting Han to the medical bay. He landed the ship and rushed out.

Chewie carried Han, “medical bay. I think his leg is fractured.” Ben said as they walked to the doctor.

His mother joined them quickly. She fussed over them. The doctor gave his father some painkillers and said she needed to cast and set the leg properly.

“You are not a young man Mr. Solo. Keep your leg up and it should heal properly soon.” The doctor finished.

His mother kissed his father. “You worried me.” She said and hugged him.

“It’s fine sweetheart.” Han said and kissed her hand.

“The mission was a success, Ben has your chip and he was seen by the people. A family saved us from the Stormtroopers.” His father sat up and reached out to him.

“Help me.” Ben stood up and held his arm as they walked to their rooms.

“Ben needs to sleep. He’s barely had any time to do so.” Han continued.

“Dear, help me put your father in bed.” His mother said. Ben followed her and helped her put Han to bed.

The young man gave her the chip, “I almost forgot.” He said and gave her the black piece,

“Thank you son. Now go to bed and rest.” She kissed his cheek and hugged him tightly.

“I’ll come tomorrow morning to debrief and see how dad is doing.” Ben finished

“I am sure your father will tell me everything once he wakes up.” She kissed his cheek and hugged him.

Ben went to his room. He unlocked it and went to the fresher. It was a quick shower, his head pounded. Snoke knew that he’d been in Chandrila. He was furious and inflicted pain on his ex-apprentice.

He changed into a black sleeping shirt and grey bottoms. His mother called it his “lazy clothes.” He rested on the bed and thought of her. Ben felt pink and warmth; “I want to see you.” He heard and then she was by his bed. Rey jumped to be by his side.

She smiled openly and hugged him. Ben took the comfort and smelled her hair. “This is not enough.” She said and nuzzled into his chest.

“What do you propose?” He asked her gently.

“I want to see you.” She looked embarrassed. Ben’s eyes widened a little. “I want to see you too.”

Rey sat up and disappeared. Ben knew what she was up to. He was scared, and anxious to see her. There was a knock, Ben opened the door and there she was, in her sleeping clothes. She always wore light colors, sleeping was no exception. Rey wore a beige “girl shirt” and pants that were also beige.

She smiled at him and then hugged him. Ben felt everything. She was everywhere. Rey gasped; there was no need for words. They fit; Ben held her tight. It was the first time they properly touched. He breathed her in; the man felt lightheaded. She made him lightheaded.

Rey nuzzled into his chest; “I can’t sleep. I felt it, your fear when you were away.” She said lightly.

Ben took her hand and went to bed. She went with him. They looked at each other for the longest. “I could not feel you.” Her face became sad. “I did for a few days and then I could not feel you as much.” He amended.

Rey nodded, “how is Han?”

Ben explained what happened to the smallest details. She listened and followed his words very attentively. “I am happy your father is fine.” Rey closed her eyes.

He sighed and turned to embrace her. A thought occurred to him. “You used to be closer to my father.”

Rey opened her eyes, “well, we knew each other for three days. He offered me a job once and then he got you back. I have not really talked to him since then.”

“I’m sorry.” Ben apologized. She sighed and looked at him. “I was hurt with you. That was before I saw. I thought you did not deserve Han or Leia until I trained with you.”

Ben was confused. He was about to ask her something when Rey shook his head. “You had all I ever wanted, a home, two parents and a place to belong. I thought you were stupid for throwing it away. I am sorry Ben. I only saw a fraction and felt a little bit of what you felt and it was horrible.”

Ben laughed bitterly, “I am not blameless Rey. I have done so much wrong. I almost killed my dad.”

Rey circled his arms around him, “you did not. Could we not talk about this anymore? I am not close to Han or Leia because it’s weird. I have you. They gave me to you for training. Let’s be happy about that.”

Ben had all sorts of thoughts in his head, “you’re thinking too loud.” She yawned and nuzzled closer. The man tried to focus on his breathing and the steady rise of her breathing. He dreamed of green fields and blue skies. He also dreamed of an apartment building; his old home in Chandrila.

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

She woke up earlier than him. Rey looked at a sleeping Ben and felt happy. He looked at peace. The girl nuzzled to his neck and breathed his scent. She laid there for a few minutes until Ben woke up. He mumbled something and tightened his hold her on her. He then put some space between their bodies.

“I have to go and debrief with my mother.” He said and sighed.

Rey nodded and smiled at him. “Meet me at the convoy after?”

He rolled his eyes, “Fine but we are not training.”

Rey shrugged, “fine.” She sat up. Ben did too. He bunched the sheets towards his middle. Rey moved away from the bed. “I will see you later.” She expected a hug but Ben stayed in Bed. Rey went by him and hugged him before leaving.

She checked the halls and then walked quickly to her room. Rey showered quickly and dressed in her every day clothes. She looked in the mirror. She looked healthier, there was a rosy color on her cheeks and she looked stronger. Rey smiled and combed her hair into her three buns. She skipped into dining quarters. She saw Poe and Finn. “Good morning.”

Rey was bright and happy. She heaped up on food and munched happily.

“Had a good morning Peanut?” Finn asked with a grin.

“I did. The sun is bright. It looks like a beautiful day.” She said and drank some juice.

Poe nodded, “yes, it will be a busy day. General Solo and his son are back from their mission. They came late afternoon yesterday. The General was injured, nothing major. General Organa is said to address us today.”

Rey listened attentively and hoped that the General’s address did not interfere with her time with Ben. She had so many questions for him and wanted to spend time with him.

“What are the plans for today?” She asked them.

“I have to work on fixing some of the buildings.” Finn replied.

“I have practice with my squadron. I think we’ll have to leave base soon.” Poe said.

Finn and Rey frowned, “Where will we go?”

Poe smiled and ate some, “I sometimes forget that you are both newbies.” He chuckled.

“We take all the ships and divide the resistance until we find assignments or a new base. It has been strange that we have all been in the same planet for so long. It is bad you see, leaves us open to attacks. Our numbers are so small; we cannot afford to lose any members.” Poe replied.

Rey nodded, a thought occurred to her, what if the General decided that she would have to go to another ship away from Ben? “How do they separate people?”

“Rank and assignment.” Poe replied.

“I am a pilot and usually stay with my squadron. Don’t worry Rey, you and Finn will stay with me.” He said reassuringly.

“We have to wait for General Organa’s address. Maybe we are to stay some more time.” Finn said clearly.

Rey nodded. She spent time in the yards and helped Chewie with minor repairs on the Falcon. Rey listened to Chewie go on about the mission. “They were both very stupid to leave you back. You would have been an invaluable asset for them.” Chewie nodded passionately.

It was then when the loudspeakers sounded. “Please gather outside Building C.” Rey and Chewie walked side by side. They were not that far from the space.

There was a podium for their leaders. Leia talked to General Holdo and General Ackbar.

“Hey there kid.” Han said next to her.

“How are you?” Rey asked him politely,

“Surviving, a little beat up from the mission. Thanks for helping Chewie.” Han smiled at her.

Rey smiled back, “no problem. Any idea, what this is about?” She asked him lightly.

The older man smirked. “Leia has contacted resistance allies. We are to move and work from the inside. She will announce different missions right now.”

Rey nodded, “Poe said that they were likely to separate the resistance.”

Han nodded back, “Yes, there is little time left for a confrontation. Leia will make sure everyone knows their orders.”

“Oh.” She said and then scanned the room for Ben. She felt him; he was on the other side of the crowd.

The General addressed them; she spoke of their allies, their strength and how brave they had to be now. “We will all take different posts. The time is now.” The General then told them to report to their section leader for new assignments. Rey looked for Ben but he was gone.

Rey did not have a leader per say. She had trained with Ben and worked on the shipyards when she had free time. “Come with me.” Han said and led her to the headquarters.

Rey found herself in what must be the General’s quarters. Han offered her a seat and talked to her about the mission. Rey and Han spoke about the Falcon while Han told her about flying the Falcon. “I have a few plans for her once the war is over.” Han grinned at her. General Organa and Ben walked in after a few minutes of conversation.

“Ben, it is the only way. We have to find him. We need your uncle.” The General said. Ben shook his head.

“Rey and I are strong enough. We could take Snoke. We just have to train some more.” Ben countered.

The General saw her, “good morning Rey. I am sure you are wondering why we have asked you here.”

Rey nodded. She had an idea about her upcoming mission. It involved Master Skywalker because Ben was a turmoil of different emotions.

“It is time. You and Ben will go to Luke.” Leia said.

Ben shook his head, “No, we are not.” He said and kept shaking his head.

“Ben, Luke is the only one who can help us now. You have seen the data that we have.” Han said.

“I know how to get into his ship. All I need is to let him inside my mind for a few seconds and find where he is.” Ben said earnestly. “It could work.”

“No.” Han said, “is too dangerous. I know you do not want to see him but your uncle is our best hope. You have to finish your training.”

Ben circled and looked at his father, “I spent decades with him. I learned all I had to. I am not going to him, not ever again.” He said firmly, his voice low.

“Ben, please you have to face him. He will forgive you.” Leia said.

Ben snapped, “Forgive me. I don’t need his forgiveness. He should beg me for forgiveness.” He shouted. The crystals around the room broke.

“Ben, that is enough.” Han shouted back.

Ben looked at his father and nodded, “I am not going to Skywalker, not ever again.” He hissed and then left. It was the closest Rey had seen Kylo Ren in Ben.

Leia shook from the encounter. Han went to his wife, “I should go.” Rey excused herself and ran after Ben.

She felt him go to the convoy. Rey got there as he blasted music. “What do you need?” She asked. “Dance with me.” He said. Ben was incredibly angry.

“I do not know how.” She replied. Ben shrugged, “just move to it. Do what comes to you naturally.” He yelled over the loud music.

 

“Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track
I looked round
And I knew there was no turning back
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you
Sound of the drums
Beating in my heart
The thunder of guns
Tore me apart
You've been
Thunderstruck
Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the town
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas, and we had some fun
We met some girls
Some dancers who gave a good time
Broke all the rules
Played all the fools
Yeah yeah they, they, they blew our minds
And I was shaking at the knees
Could I come again please
Yeah them ladies were too kind
You've been
Thunderstruck
I was shaking at the knees
Could I come again please
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
It's alright, we're doin' fine
It's alright, we're doin' fine, fine, fine
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, baby, baby
Thunderstruck, you've been Thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, Thunderstruck
You've been Thunderstruck.”

Rey moved with him. Ben sang the song and closed his eyes. Rey followed suit and felt the song. She also felt him, his anger and rage. Rey also felt his pain, the thought of master Skywalker enraged him. Ben blamed him for everything. He grabbed her hand and turned her around. They danced and jumped to three more songs before it was too hot and they dropped to the convoys’ floor.

A slow song started playing. “I do not want you to go training with him. You will hate me for what I did.” He said breathless and without looking at her.

They were side by side, “I know what you did. They call you the Jedi Killer.” She said with a small voice.

He tensed, “I killed them all.” Ben confirmed.

It was Rey’s turn to tense. “What happened Ben?” She asked without any expectations of any explanations. Ben turned to the side and looked at her. His hair was plastered to his forehead. “Snoke has been in my head since I was six years old. He was a bad voice in the beginning and then he tortured me for years. Dad and mom tried but I could tell they were afraid. Dad brought me all these tapes and danced with me. I let him, my dad was my hero. He was Han Solo, General of the Rebellion, fighter pilot and a war hero. I worshipped him. I loved my mom too. She loved me but she was always more cautious. It was her idea to give me to Skywalker. Dad accepted because he was out of his wits. Snoke left me vulnerable and I would lash out. I would cry of the pain and the music did not help anymore. I now understand that my parents tried but they were scared straight, even my brave dad.” Ben said sadly.

His voice broke when he explained, “they sent me to him. I cried for dad, for mom. My father was angry. He was heartbroken and mom, her energy was never as bright. She blames herself for not studying the force, for not being stronger. I felt betrayed, they sent me away. I was bitter and scared. Skywalker trained me. He was patient and kind. I thought that surely he would understand and help me. He did, Snoke stayed away for years. I threw myself into my training. I was powerful and Skywalker knew it. My father would visit and travel with me for some days. I stopped going with him when I was a teenager. “There is no passion, there is only serenity.””

Rey wanted to hold him. “I learned more and I learned how to control my powers. His voice came one night. He told me of Darth Vader. I asked around and read books. Snoke was true; so, I let him in once more. He fed me lies, he twisted my memories and I was ready to believe him. My master sensed it. I was asleep when he came in, Master Skywalker lightsaber about to be ignited towards me. I reacted; I let Snoke fuel me. I remember everything Rey, I killed my classmates and recruited those who swore fealty to me. I was ruthless and felt no remorse. That is the truth.” He finished.

Rey felt a knot inside her belly. It was wrong to bypass the fact that he was a killer. It was wrong to hold affection for him but she did. “I do not want to talk about this anymore.”

“Let the past die.” He said and touched her face.

“Yes, you are my friend. You are the only one who understands what it is to be alone and scared. You are the only I can talk to about the force. No one else gets it.” She said openly.

Ben was sad once more. “you should go to Skywalker.”

“No, he turned me away. You understood. I know there is good in you Ben; whatever you did before, you have to let it die.” She continued.

“You’ll stay then.” He said with a small voice.

Rey smiled at him, “I’ll stay. We’ll train and face him together if that I was what you want to do.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Han could not sleep. Leia finally understood the finality and determination in Ben’s words. His wife was anxious, afraid for their child.

She paced after the girl left. “He is not strong enough. Ben simply cannot face him.” Leia said with big sad brown eyes.

Han tried to reassure her, “the same could have been said about Luke. He was only a farmer when he faced Vader.”

Leia shook her head, “that was different. He had us.”

Han took her hands and led her to the couch. “Who says it has to be him? Why does it have to be our son? We continue fighting as we are.”

Leia looked at him and caressed his face, “you know it. I can tell.” She whispered.

Of course he did. Han had known Ben would be forced to sacrifice himself. It would have to be him and Luke against Snoke. Han gave up on sleep and stood up. Leia had finally managed to sleep.

Han went to the living room and walked around. He looked at Leia’s bookstands. She had dozens of history books. Han found what he looked for. An ancient looking book. Han shook his head; his wife had hated Holopads. She preferred printed pictures. Everyone mocked her; but Han loved it.

The pictures were in order. There was one of them after the Battle of Endor. They were side by side grinning. That had been a good day. Leia and him had made love for the first time that night. Han remembered how shy she’d been. Leia was not a virgin but she was inexperienced. Han was certainly experienced but he’d been nervous. He was scared of not measuring up to the princess of Aldeeran. He remembered feeling happy when she responded to his every touch.

Han turned the page to more pictures of them. Leia and him with Chewie and Luke. Leia in her wedding dress. Them kissing, then dancing and looking so young and so in love. He proposed after a huge fight. He remembered it clearly. He’d been traveling out to Corellia and came back to a cranky Leia. She had been a pest and then away with the Senate.

Han called her out for not caring that he was back. Leia spat that he was like a street dog who could never be an inside dog. Han raised his voice and they fought. He blamed her for not spending time with him. “All you do is work.” He yelled.

“All you do is run away.” She yelled back. “As if you have nothing to come back to.”

Han laughed, “maybe I don’t.”

Leia was hurt. “Leave now.” She said.

“I’m not going anywhere. This is my home and you are...” Han realized that he was too old to call her his girlfriend.

“I’m your what?” Leia asked exasperatedly.

Han came closer, “my princess.” He smiled at her tenderly.

Leia’s eyes softened, “you will not convince me. I am upset.”

“I love you. Marry me.” He said simply.

“What?” She asked.

Han grinned openly, “marry me.”

Han badgered her for three weeks before she accepted. They spent their honeymoon naked and away. Leia and him were holed up for a week in a faraway planet in the outer rim.

There were more pictures of them and then of a pregnant Leia smiling at him. They were at the pools in Chandrila. Han remembered those months. They actually planned Ben. They tried for two years and just when they were about to give up Leia surprised him with a full Corellian dinner. “I felt something different today.” She said over some pomegranate juice. Han drank his wine.

“What sweetheart?” He asked distracted by the amazing food in front of him.

“Our baby.” She grinned ear to ear. Han stood up and spilled his wine on the expensive tablecloth.

He laughed and hugged her tight. Han had been so excited. They were over the moon when they heard Ben’s strong heartbeat. The doctor told them to be cautious for the first three months. Han had watched over Leia like a hawk. He removed work and threatened half the Senate when they called.

The older man traced another picture. Leia holding her belly and distracted. She had been terrified when she felt Ben’s tiny force signature inside her belly. The baby made himself known since the fifth month. Leia had of course felt life inside of her but not a signature. She had come crying to the Falcon clutching her belly.

Han had almost turned green when he thought she was losing their baby. “Sweetheart, please stop crying and tell me what’s the matter.” He said when he did not see blood.

“He has the force.” She cried.

“Who has the force?” Han was about to call Luke.

“The baby. I can feel it. He’s strong.” She said after some sobbing.

Han held her tight and then asked her what she felt when she calmed down. “How does he feel like?”

He’d been curious. Leia nuzzled into him, “light, happy and just innocent.”

“It will be fine Leia. He will be fine. Don’t cry.” He’d said and smiled at her.

“Yes, I mean, he could be whatever he wants when he grows up.” Han reassured; a small but insistent part of him knew he was mistaken.

Han sighed and continued to look through the pictures. This one he had on the Falcon by the main console. It was of the three of them. Ben was two hours old. Leia looked beautiful. She held Ben while he held them. Han remembered how wonderful it was to meet Ben. Leia went through twenty hours of labor to birth their baby boy. They were both in love with the baby.

“What do we name him?” Han asked Leia after the nurse left them alone.

“I thought of Bail after my father but he does not look like a Bail. What about your father?” She asked as the baby wrinkled his face.

“Not many good memories.” Han said.

Leia cried, “I’m sorry, I am thoughtless, of course you told me. Han, I...” The man kissed her forehead. “Nothing that you do will anger me for a quite a while sweetheart. You have given me the world today.” He said and kissed her mouth lovingly.

“What about Ben?” Han said after some time. “We would not have met if it weren’t for him.”

Leia smiled, “not Obie wan or just Ben. Benjamin, an old name. I think he has old eyes, wise eyes.”

Han laughed, “Benjamin Solo.” He said proudly.

There were at least five pages’ worth of baby Ben pictures. Han smiled when he found one of the two of them. Leia was on a meeting that ran longer than expected. She came home really late and took a picture of him with a sleeping Ben on his chest. They were out like lights, both had the same crease on their foreheads.

Han kept looking through the book and found more pictures of them. Leia with Ben in the Senate. The three of them and Chewie during Ben’s third birthday. His son had a face full of blue frosting. His smile was wide; it had been a good day.

The pictures continued there were some with Ben smiling, but they were fewer. Ben when he was six. He looked tired but had a bright smile. Han took him in the Falcon and let him play first mate. Ben was all ears and nose. Han smiled, there was another one of them two grinning to Leia. It was the last picture of them smiling. Ben would be sent away the following month.

Han turned the page and felt dread. There were more pictures of his son but only this time he wore padawan wear and that blasted little braid. Han would have given the world to have Ben wear the Alderaan braids instead. Let him be a politician like Leia. Luke took these to appease them. They did nothing. Han grew increasingly frustrated with Leia. He wanted Ben back to them after three months. Their son had not had any episodes, surely, he was better now.

Luke shook his head. Ben would be a Jedi; it was in his blood; it was the Skywalker legacy. Han took missions and spent more time away from Leia.

Han turned to the last pages. This was the last of the three of them. Ben was a teenager; not older than fifteen. This was Leia’s idea. They looked forced; Ben did not smile; he was sullen. Leia was stiff by their son’s side. Ben was a head shorter than him. He had not stopped growing until he was nineteen.

“I don’t like to look at those last pictures. They are too painful.” His wife said and sat by his side.

Han closed the book. “Why do you keep them?” He asked bitterly.

“They are of him. I cannot get rid of them.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m scared Han. We just got him back.” She said weakly.

Han held her close. “We’ll lose him if we push him.”

Leia sighed, “Luke should be here. He would know how to help Ben.”

He kissed her hand, “We are walking in circles Princess. We did this last time and see how it turned out. Ben gave into the darkness.”

Leia’s voice was very small, “what if he gives in again?”

Han shook his head, “he will not.” He was convinced of it.

Leia rested her head on his shoulder. “I have this feeling that we will lose him again.”

He sighed and kissed her gently. “Let’s get back to bed.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

Ben woke up confused. There were alarms sounding. Rey was by his side. She came to him once more. He could not deny the fact that he slept easier with her by his side.

She was alert as well. They dressed quickly.

The corridors were filled with people. Rey wore her usual get up and it was easier to pretend they had just seen each other.

Ben saw his dad come from his quarters. “Grab your things, we are leaving the planet, Imperial troops are coming this way. Meet me in the shipyards.” His father ran in that direction.

Ben looked at Rey. “Go get your things meet me by the Falcon.”

“But my assignment is not there. I am to leave with the C group.” Rey said carefully.

Ben frowned, “That is a mistake you are my apprentice, you go wherever I go and I am going in the Falcon. Get a move on.” He said quickly.

Rey nodded and smiled gently. “I have to find Poe and Finn.”

“Go.” Ben entered his quarters and grabbed the canvas bag. The resistance was always on the move. The first thing that they told him was to have all his things ready.

Ben put his things and tapes in the bag and then ran to the shipyards. “We have to go now.” His mother said.

Rey was by his side. “Poe is in a ship. The Tie fighters are in orbit. We cannot leave yet.” She said.

His mother sighed. “They have us locked in place.”

Ben ushered her into the Falcon, his father sat by uncle Chewie. “They have us locked. The moment that we go up they will fire.” His father echoed.

“Hux needs to see me.” Ben replied.

“What are you thinking of doing?” His father asked.

“I will pilot one of the RZ-2 A-wing fighters.” Ben answered quickly. “I will send a message to Hux. He will make it his priority to capture me. You will then have time to fight off the TIEs and leave.

His mother looked anxious. “I will come back. I swear.” He addressed his mother but he hoped Rey understood too. She had to stay back. The girl understood. Ben nodded at her. “Be safe.”

He felt his mother’s signature and looked at her. The woman gave him an image of a faraway planet. Ben knew it was an abandoned rebel base, a green planet. It would be safe for a couple of months until the First Order found them again.

Ben rushed out and sat on the wing fighter. He would have to start firing at soon as he took off. The rest of the fighters would follow. Ben sent a transmission to Hux’ ship.

“Hux, you have my full attention.”

It was enough. Ben had at least three TIEs on his tail. The man dodged and fired as quickly as he could. The rest of the fighters followed and defended him.

Ben destroyed the majority of the fleet by himself. He maneuvered around the First Order fighters and managed to give the resistance ships time to leave off orbit. Hux fired at him and took out three of the wing fighters. He managed to damage Ben’s fighter too. Hux had to retreat, another RZ-2 A Wing damaged his ship. Ben could see the smaller escape pods orbiting away. He set the course for the escape pod and hoped that it would be a smooth ride.

It was not; Hux had been punished harshly. Snoke was angry, vexed that Hux failed to capture the resistance ships and that Ben Solo had run away once more.

Ben’s splitting headache persisted for hours. There was no music, no room to move and exercise. There was nothing but pain and the constant need to puke. Snoke was not inside his head. Ben would not let him but there was that horrifying physical sickness in his head. He endured but eventually had to puke. There was nothing dignified about the smell or the fact that he puked three times before he landed on the green planet.

He kicked the pod door open when it got stuck. Ben saw his mother rush to him. He needed to sleep and eat. He needed something to alleviate his headache.

His mother tried to get near him. “Don’t.” He shook his head and reached to her with the force. He smelled and needed to be by himself.

“Walk with me. I will show you our quarters.” Leia walked ahead of him.

Ben looked around. There were injured pilots and people around the beach. This was a small green planet with blue sands. Ben had no idea where they were. “Which System is this?”

“Grabana.” His mother said.

“Where is dad?” Ben asked as they reached a very small camp of old buildings.

“He is in the Falcon with Rey looking for you.” Leia replied as they entered the apartments.

His mother sighed, “Your father was worried sick. He does not listen and your apprentice was just as concerned. It was as if she knew you were in danger. She was convinced you were captured.”

“Send a message to the Falcon. I am safe and sound.” Ben wanted to remove his soiled clothes and shower. He wanted to sleep for a while.

Leia opened the door. It was a small apartment. “There is not as much space as we had in the other base. You will have to bunk with us.” She said and handed him some clothes.

“Go shower.” She said and pointed him to the fresher. “Your bedroom is down the hall.”

Ben nodded and closed the door. He peeled off his soiled garments and entered the small shower. He let the water rinse away his fatigue. His headache receded some after the cold water hit his head. He concentrated on Rey. “I am back, turn the ship around. I am back.” He thought.

He tried for five minutes before he felt her pink signature. “You’re hurt.” She whispered.

“No.” He said, “the usual. Are you far?”

Rey remained quiet. “I cannot see you.” He said. “You have to tell me.”

“Not that far. I will tell your father to turn the Falcon. I did not tell them about the link. It felt strange.” She said a shy voice.

Ben smiled and wiped his face with the towel. “I am glad you kept that to yourself.”

The link was closed. Ben put on sweats and a white t-shirt. He went to his new room and hid under the covers. He meditated but the pain was there. He needed the songs; his mother came in a small sound system.

“Your father insisted on having a backup in our old quarters. I am glad he did.” She turned on the system. Ben thanked her and concentrated on the lyrics. Sleep. He needed sleep.

Leia came by his side and kissed his forehead. “I wish you would let me help you. This cannot go on like this Bennie.” She said carded her fingers over his hair.

Ben frowned, “you are doing enough.” He said and moved to the side so she could sit by his side. Ben placed his head on her lap and let her caress his hair. She sang along a song. He felt ridiculous for about a second. He was a grown up, a thirty-year-old man, a killer and yet his mother sang him to sleep. It was pathetic. He felt pathetic. His mother soothed his brow. “You will always be my darling Bennie.”

“When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
Oh, I hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I will never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue
And I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
There's nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of this Earth for you
To make you feel my love, oh yes
To make you feel my love.”

He rested easy. His mother’s voice made him feel sleepy. He was exhausted and concentrated on sleeping and shutting out the world of noise. The man felt comforted; he inhaled lavender and an old smell. It was his mother’s perfume; it was home. Ben felt like he was at home.

He woke up hours later to his parents’ soft voices. He could hear them outside of his door.

“He’s sleeping. Yes, he came back as soon as you left. It’ only been five hours. Not yet, let him sleep.” His mother said.

Ben sat up. He felt confused and then remembered the past day and a half. He wanted to know where Rey was. Ben walked out of his door and into the tiny living room. “I thought we lost you again.” His father said as he hugged him.

“I am fine dad.” He said and sat on a chair.

“What is the plan?” He asked his mother who looked tired. He was dying to know where Rey was.

It was his father’s turn to speak. “They will not track us here, not for another few weeks but this is the end of the line.”

His mother looked weary. “Snoke has control over the Galaxy. The First Order’s oppression has expanded out of the core to some planets in the outer rim. The council expects us to take hide and fight undercover.” She stated with a defeated voice.

Ben rubbed his face. “How long until everyone takes their assignments?”

“As soon as we take stock of how many were lost and rearrange the rosters.” His mother finished.

“I see.” He looked at them and understood. They wanted him and Skywalker to end it. It was their plan all along. His mother held out hope that she would have her family once again. That it would be like last time. Luke, her and Han with the added bonus of her child, they would fight and be victorious against the dark side.

His father looked more hesitant. Han Solo understood that the relationship with Skywalker was forever damaged.

“What will my assignment be?” He asked after some time.

“You will stay here at the base and train Rey.” His mother said primly. Her hope was still very strong. She was stalling until Skywalker came back and joined the fight. Ben would not disabuse her of the notion. He would bid his time until it was time.

“Fine.” He said and then changed the subject to their living conditions.

“It is the best that we have, short of living in the Falcon.” His mother frowned.

Ben was keenly aware of the close proximity they would live in. It would be nightmarish. He tried to console himself with the idea that his parents would be busy all day. He retired to his room and opened the link to Rey.

She was in bed, wide awake and smiled at him. They were both lying down. “I want to see you.” He said softly. She nodded and walked up to his bed. She was by his side in not time.

She cuddled to his chest and sighed. “The General said that we would keep on training.”

“We are. She hopes that Skywalker will return and fight Snoke. She thinks that my uncle and I could end it.” He said calmly.

Rey frowned. “What do you think?”

“That I will have to face my old master and so will you Rey. We could end it.” Ben said with conviction.

Rey nodded, “So we train.”

“We train.” He replied with a serious face.

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

Rey shared with three girls, the Tico sisters and lieutenant Connix. It was crowded and Rey hated it. The women were perfectly nice but they were noisy. She liked Rose the best because she was quieter. Rose was interested in technology and so they spoke of it most of the time. Kaydel was always busy with the generals and logistics while Paige was the noisiest with her blaster training. Rey liked them all but hated being around so many people. They were very kind but she hoped she could be alone or with just Ben.

Kaydel chatted all day and was very interested in Poe. She would ask about him all day. Kaydel asked her if she was interested in Poe or Finn the same night that they were assigned to share their small living units.

Rey denied any feelings towards Poe or Finn. Kaydel smiled openly and then asked her a hundred questions about Poe. Rey was at a disadvantage since Kaydel’s questions were highly detailed and she did not know the answers to them. Rey had no idea what was Poe’s favorite food, color and where he went to school or if he liked blondes or brunettes. Paige rolled her eyes and told Kaydel to relax. Rose just shook her head.

The Tico sisters loved each other but were very different. Paige was more decisive and serious. She was talkative and tripped over things. She talked to Rose and Kaydel all the time. Paige knew Poe but was not as interested as Kaydel. Rose was kinder and explained things that did not make any sense to Rey. She could have asked Ben or Finn but it was too embarrassing. Rose explained where to get tampons for her time of the month. She knew how to take care of her cramps and cravings. Rose was her girlfriend. She helped her get clothes and told her about the things in the camp. She was very observant and told her who knew each other, who liked each other and who to watch out for.

Rey had a schedule. She woke up earlier than the three other girls. They shared a room, a living room and two bathrooms. There were two bunk beds. Rose and Paige slept in one. Rey took the bottom bed and Kaydel had the top bunk. She shared a bathroom with Rose because Paige and Rose had same shifts and ended up fighting over simple things.

Rey usually showered, dressed and left to meet Ben. They trained near the beach and the caves, as far away from base as possible. Ben trained her with lightsabers once more. He was brutal with her. Rey learned to fight with anger like him and try to reach his thoughts. They learned to anticipate each other’s moves. They would then rest for an hour. Rey had lunch with Finn and Poe. Ben would meet his mother or father for lunch.

Rey would meet Ben once more but this time they would go to an old warehouse and train with the force.

Ben would levitate things and force her to move to his will. It was very hard to resist him at first but Rey was learning too. She fought him and tried to attack him too. She was very proud when after two weeks he broke his concentration because she made him. They would then stop and just rest next to each other. She would just enjoy silence with him. It was the only quiet time both had, that and sleep but Ben was not sleeping well. He had horrible nightmares/memories that tormented his rest. Rey wanted to comfort him but it was impossible. He shared quarters with his parents.

They were side by side when she mustered the courage to ask him. “Ben.”

He made a content noise as he hummed along a song.

“Tell me about your nightmares.” She said with a small voice.

“I wish you would not ask.” He tensed.

Rey frowned and sat up. “You are not sleeping well. I can feel it.”

Ben looked at her and touched her hand. “It is easier if I show you.”

She nodded nervously and connected her mind with his. “This is what I fear.” He whispered and the images assaulted her.

There was fire, pain and Snoke. In the nightmare, Ben was back to the dark side and he killed Han and the Leia. Ben killed her slowly as well. There were more in which he gave Han and Leia up and they were tortured. There was one in which he was tortured and killed by Leia, her and then Han. There was one where he was alone with memories of them and her but there was no joy as Snoke tortured him and distorted his memories and feelings. There was no music and no way to keep Snoke out.

Rey broke the connection and held him. She held him. “It will never happen Ben. Never. You are not alone. You will never be alone.” She tried to sooth him. Ben hugged her back and relaxed. Rey loved when they touched. She felt safe and a warm feeling of belonging. Her place was by Ben’s side and that was that.

He kissed her forehead, “Thank you.” Ben lied back once more and took Rey with him. It was very late and she was exhausted. She felt her eyes become heavy.

“Don’t sleep. We have to go back to our places.” He said sleepily.

Rey nodded and cuddled closer to his chest. “In a few minutes.” She said contentedly as Ben drew figures on her back with his fingers.

They must have overslept. “Sweetheart, wake up.” He said and moved her gently. His voice was raspy from sleep.

She opened her eyes, “It is 3:00AM.” He yawned and sat up.

Rey stretched as he helped her up. “I’ll walk you to your sector.”

“Not necessary.” She rubbed her back. “It is you they’ll have a search party for.” Rey teased him.

Ben frowned. “True.”

Ben was tense on their walk back to base. He took a left while she continued to her quarters. Paige was awake and reading a book. “Finn came by. I told him you were by the beach training. Poe came with him a second time. It was almost midnight. I would let them know you are fine through your comm. They were worried.”

“Thanks.” She said and checked her messages.

“Overslept by the beach. I am fine.” She sent. Finn replied instantly. “You will be the death of me. I am glad you are safe.”

Rey washed and slept for a few hours until she had to see Ben once more. She had a quick breakfast and then left for the day. Rey was refreshed and dressed for practice.

Ben meditated by the water. “Good morning.” She said and sat by him.

They meditated for some time and then trained. Ben advanced quickly on her. She fended him off for some time before he won.

It was time for lunch but Ben made no move to walk back to base. “It is time for lunch.”

“It is.” He replied and remained seated. Rey sat by him. “Aren’t you going to have lunch with Han?” She asked as he produced some fruit from his bag.

Ben shook his head, “I had an argument with him yesterday.” He offered her part of his orange.

“About?” She asked as she ate some of the fruit. It was juicy and sweet.

“Me being late and where I choose to spend my time.” Ben replied calmly.

“What did he say?” She was extremely curious.

“Apparently, he looked all over the base and could not find me. Finn and Poe went to him about concerns for your safety as well.” Ben said casually as he ate a sandwich now. He offered her half of it too. Rey took it as well.

She tasted egg salad and savored the flavor. “Finn sent me a message through my comm. I replied when I was back.”

Ben shrugged. “Dad says that they came to him and asked about me. They probably thought that I kidnapped you.” He rolled his eyes at her. “My father, in all his wisdom decided to not contact my mother and searched for me himself. He did not find the cave and was about to get into the Falcon and search for us around the nearby systems when he came across my mother. He explained and my mother searched for my signature. She said I was on planet and reassured my father. I came back and he lectured me on curfew.”

Rey nodded “and then what happened?”

Ben finished his sandwich and produced another one. Rey took half once more. This one was different, it had ham and mayo in it. “I did not appreciate his line of questioning and the fact that he waited for me. My mother’s word should have been fine.”

“I am sure he was worried.” Rey said and looked for drinks in his bag. She found a bottle of apple juice. She drank from it and then offered it to Ben who took it and drank too.

“Maybe. I happen to be a thirty-year-old man. They are driving me insane. I cannot stand living that close to them.” He frowned.

It was Rey’s turn to roll her eyes and push him. “You have parents.”

Ben pushed her back. “Not the orphan line again.” He said and glowered at her.

Rey shrugged. “Fine. I will not make you feel guilty.” It usually worked. Rey understood Ben. He was going insane living in such close quarters with his parents. Han and Leia were hyperaware of him and often tried to maximize their time with him. Ben was exhausted and just wanted quiet when he got to his room.

Han had him for lunches but Leia tried during nights and Ben did not want to. Han would then be upset because Leia was upset. Ben was not the easiest person to get along with. He was mean at times and Rey told him so.

“What did you say to him?” Rey asked.

“I told him that I was an adult and did not need for him to look after me.” He said simply.

“Dad shouted at me about worrying my mother. Mom tried to calm him down and I slammed the door of that tiny room.” Ben said quickly.

Rey hoped that things would smooth over. “You are acting like a youngling. You should apologize to your father.”

Ben’s jaw clenched. “I will not.”

“You will eventually. You will feel guilty and they will forgive you.” Rey reasoned.

“I hate it when you are logical.” Ben said with a frown.

Rey stood up and looked at the water. “I wish I could go inside it.” She had longed to swim in it but was too afraid to actually do it. Besides there was no time in her schedule.

“I could teach you.” Ben said by her side.

She looked at him, “I did not give you permission.”

“You were thinking too loud.” He replied with a smirk.

“What do you say?” He asked her and then toed his shoes. “I learned when I was younger. I don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

Rey nodded, “Yes, I’d like to do try.”

“Good.” He said and then began to undress.

“What are you doing?” She asked a little alarmed that he was taking off his pants. She was used to seeing him shirtless countless of time because of their training and when they slept. She would seek him out at night. It was comforting to have his strong arms around her as they sleep. It was true that it was a pale comparison to the real feel of his arms. They had not truly slept next to each other since the last base and yesterday. It was the best sleep she had in weeks. Now Ben was almost naked but for black boxer shorts. Rey took a deep breath and concentrated on not letting Ben inside her mind. He was massive; his legs were muscled like the rest of his body. His feet were enormous. Rey did not waste more time. She undressed as well. She was left on her brown shorts and her matching dark brown tube brassier. Kaydel had helped her with clothes after they started living together. Rose was too chesty while Paige was not as close. Kaydel and her were about the same size.

Ben took her hand and they walked to the shore. The sand was light blue but the ocean was a greenish blue that was beautiful. The water was not exactly cold; it felt nice. Ben walked farther until the water was to his waist. There were almost no waves. The water almost reached her bra. “Here is good.” He said and then began to teach her how to swim.

“Watch me first.” He said and then narrated what he did on her mind. “Arm, leg, arm leg.”

Ben swam deeper and stayed afloat. “Now come.” He nudged her mind.

He seemed very far away but it could not be so far. “Don’t be scared Rey. I will go to you if anything happens.

Rey was apprehensive but tried. She was a desert person, never really used to this. She opened her eyes underwater and immediately regretted it. It was salt water and her eyes stung. She closed her eyes and tried to follow a straight line. Rey moved her arms and legs and tried to be as coordinated as possible. She reached in what seemed like forever. Rey felt herself sink and immediately clung to him. Ben laughed at her.

She frowned at him bit and wrapped herself around him. “You have to keep kicking your feet Rey.” He laughed some more.

Rey felt silly then and loved how his face lit up when she argued back. “Well, you didn’t tell me.”

Ben laughed some more and she smiled. “Go ahead try.” He said as he swam to the side.
Rey tried and for a bit and then saw as he floated face up. “I want to do that.” She said through the link.

“Try it.” He said.

“What if I sink?” Rey asked as she saw him do it again.

“You will not. Rey, you swam and your feet are not touching the bottom. You will kick yourself up and not drown.” He said with a mocking voice.

Rey nodded and tried. She felt the water around her and relaxed. They were side by side, the sun hitting their faces. “It’s nice isn’t it.” His voice reached her inside her head. She replied with a simple yes. They stayed inside the “deep water” for about an hour before swimming back to shallower water. Rey watched as Ben stood up and in a moment of pure instinct splashed him. Ben frowned at her and ran after her. Rey ran along towards the sand. Ben laughed and tried to catch her. He was bigger and could ran faster but Rey was smaller and quicker. She avoided him and laughed when he kicked some water towards her.

Rey squealed when he caught up to her and lifted her. “Let me down Ben!” She laughed when she heard his laughter and he started running with her over his arm.

He threw her to the water and laughed when she splashed more water onto him. Rey went to him and tried to keep him under water. She climbed his back and stayed there. She smiled when he spluttered and then held onto dear life when he stood up with her on his back. He kissed her hand. She did not let go of him; Ben walked them to the shore and then she climbed down and rested on the sand.

“That was fun.” She smiled at his grin.

“It was.” He said and inched closer to her.

“We should have done this sooner.” Rey said with a big grin.

“I agree.” He said simply and kissed her hand again. Rey was content with him by her side. She did not want to move.

“We have to go to our warehouse.” Ben said while brushing off some blue sand from his lower back.

“You do mine, I’ll do yours.” She said and dusted off the sand from his back. Ben was beautiful. She concentrated to keep her thoughts to herself.

They were dry, clothed and somewhat clean when they reached the cave. Ben lamented the lack of music for days on end when they first arrived to the planet. Rey had worked on a surprise for him. She had been working with Rose who helped her find the tools. Today was the day, it was perfect. Ben was in a good mood, they had fun and she did not want to train anymore today. “Wait for me here. I will be right back.” She smiled and squeezed his hand. Ben looked confused but remained seated on the mat. Rey had brought some things for them to be more comfortable when they first found the place.

She ran to the main base and into her quarters. Finn was by the door. “Peanut! I’ve been worried. You did not come to lunch.” He said in greeting.

“I was training.” She said and hugged him hello.

“I have to get something from here Finn. I have to hurry. I will talk to you later.” She rushed.

Finn followed her inside the small apartment. Rose was by the couch reading something.

“Hello Finn.” The girl avoided eye contact.

Finn smiled openly. “Hi Rose.” Rey zoomed to her room and found the small sound system. She had not tried it yet but she was sure that it would work. She needed music though. Han carried a datapad with all the music he recovered from the other planet. A lot was lost but there were still many songs for Ben to listen to. The only problem was that the only sound system was in the Falcon.

Rey had convinced Chewie to help her last week. Han shrugged and gave the ok. Rey had put all the songs in a nifty little chip that was compatible with her invented sound system. She was very proud of her work. Rey gathered her sound system and ran past her friends and into her warehouse.

Ben levitated a brick; he broke it and pieced it together back and forth. “I have something for you. Close your eyes.” She said excitedly.

Her teacher shook his head. “No.” Rey whined at him. “Come on. It’ll be good. I promise.” She came closer and hid the small sound system behind her.

“Fine.” He frowned and closed his eyes. “You are very excited about this.” He smirked and Rey could not stop the grin in her face.

“Open your eyes.” She said and deposited the small sound system.

Ben looked at it and then at her. “What is it?”

“A sound system.” She said and then produced the chip with the songs.

“I haven’t tried it yet but I know it will work.” Rey’s smile must have been contagious because Ben smiled as well. She felt the happiest she’d been ever. She made this. She made him smile so beautifully. This was not because they were swimming and he enjoyed it. This was because of her, because of something she did. She felt his signature force and felt exhilarated. She felt warm and the happiest.

“Go ahead, try it Ben.” She encouraged and helped him work the simple system.

The first song rang out; it was a catchy one, “treasure that is what you are.” He set the sound system by the mat and then hugged her. He kissed her cheek quickly too.

“You are perfect.” He said and hugged her some more. “I know how much you love your songs and I think you’ll sleep better. Your parents will hear the music in your room and not bother you as much.” She said logically.

Ben kissed her hands once more. “Let’s listen to them.” He said and rested by her side. “We are not training today. I think that was your plan all along. You little trickster.” He said and smiled at her.

Rey sighed and they spent hours listening to music. It was late once more. Rey did not want to go yet. Ben reluctantly stood up. “Time to go.”

“I wish I could go with you.” She said honestly. “I sleep better with you by my side.”

He remained quiet and kissed her forehead goodbye. “Thank you for this. Now go.”

Rey kissed his cheek and left for her quarters. Poe and Kaydel came her way. Kaydel had her hair down and wore make up. Her roommate also wore a dark red pretty blouse and skin tight black pants “Good. You’re finally done with training.” Kaydel said.

“We are meeting Finn and other pilots for a fun night out.” Poe said.

Rey was utterly confused. Kaydel grinned maniacally. “Honestly Rey. I will help you. I know just what to do. Poe, go.” She shooed Poe and dragged her to their apartment.

Paige hovered over Rose. They wore their pink and purple house robes. “Let me curl your eyelashes.” She hissed at her younger sister.

Rose nodded and then Paige produced a small artifact and placed it in Rose’s left eye. It looked painful. “Good, you are coming too!” Rose said with a bright smile.

Rey was utterly confused. She thought her roommates would be asleep when she turned in. “I don’t understand what is going out.”

Paige launched a brief explanation. “We are celebrating the arrival of a new shipment. It was Poe’s idea. We haven’t had a good get together since before you and your boyfriend blew up Starkilller base.”

“He’s not my boyfriend. He’s my best friend.” Rey stated for the thousandth time. Rose smiled more openly every time she clarified that point.

Kaydel resumed the explanation, “We have fun, we dance, listen to music and have drinks. It’s all good fun. You need to meet people. If Finn is not your boyfriend and you clearly do not like Poe, then you need to find somebody to have fun with.”

“I don’t need anyone. I have friends.” Rey defended herself as Kaydel retreated to their bedroom.

Kaydel came back with a heap of clothes. “Go to the fresher; wash up.”

Rey blinked, “Kaydel, I am exhausted. All I want to do is sleep.” She was not lying; she did want to sleep. She wanted to open the link and rest with Ben.

Paige shook her head, “You will go out. All you do is train and go to bed. People need to get to know you. You don’t want to end up like Ben Solo. People hate him.”

Rey frowned, “what do you mean? He’s done nothing to anyone.” She was annoyed with Paige for thinking that way and using Ben as a negative reference.

Rose intervened. “People think he’s arrogant. He does not talk to anyone and avoids people. Some of the recruits have tried to talk to him when he goes to the yards but the general’s son does not reply. You have to admit he’s intimidating.”

Rey fought the urge to defend Ben. “Why are you still here? We will be late as it is.” Kaydel dropped a heap of clothing next to Rose. She then grabbed her hand and forced her into the fresher. “You have ten minutes. Wash your hair, you smell like seasalt.”

Rey showered quickly and put on her yellow robe. Rose gifted it after she looked at her purple robe longingly.

Kaydel opened the door half way through her quick shower. “Do not even try to escape it. You are going out with us and that is final Rey.”

She finished washing and put on her robe. She went to the room and put on some clean underwear.

Paige and Rose dressed in her absence. Paige wore a blue tube top, at least that’s what Kaydel told her those blouses were called. The gunner pilot wore heels and a black short skirt. Paige wore a high ponytail and make up that accentuated her pretty eyes. Rose looked the most beautiful Rey thought. She had on a black tube dress and Paige had arranged her hair on a neat looking braid. Kaydel pushed her onto the couch. “You have two outfit choices.”

 

“These blue jeans with these shoes and this blouse.” Kaydel said and then forced her to try them on.

The blue jeans were a little too big on her and the green blouse was too revealing. “No.” She said simply.

“I agree; these jeans are not for you.” Kaydel then produced a metallic dark blue short dress and some low black heels.

Rey tried the outfit on. “Yes, and I know just what to do with your face.” Kaydel said.

“Paige will do your hair.” Rose offered.

Paige nodded eagerly, “I know just what to do.”

They were all so hopeful that she just nodded and let them work. She tried to reach to Ben but could not get anything from him. Maybe he would be there.

She looked at herself in Kaydel’s mirror and did not recognize herself. Kaydel applied a dark substance to line her eyes and a blue eyeshadow. She also applied a pink color to her lips. Paige arranged her hair in two braids. She looked different, pretty and smiled. Rey felt better about the whole thing then.

The young woman found that it was not hard to walk in those shoes, all she needed to do was concentrate. Rose and her walked side by side. They reached the small mass hall and she could hear the music. There were no lyrics but it was music from different planets. Poe and Finn chatted with Jessika Pava and another pilot from the red squadron.

Finn greeted them, his eyes lingered on Rose. Poe was all smiles and winked at all of them. Kaydel flirted but she also flirted with other pilots. Rose and Paige talked to other members and introduced her to different people. There were people dancing and drinking around her. Poe offered her a drink. “It’s from Yavin IV. My home world. I think you’ll like it.”

Rey did like it; it was sweet and tasted like apples but had a kick to it. She talked to Finn who was too ashamed to ask Rose to dance and then bemoaned it when Turivo, a technician asked her and she said yes.

“Go, you like her. I know you do. Ask her for the next one.” Rey shouted over the loud beats.

Finn smiled, “Peanut, has she said anything about me?” He asked eagerly.

Rey shook her head, “I know she likes you. Just do it.” She said and laughed when Finn offered her another drink. She was getting a little bit to giggly.

Poe asked her to dance with Kaydel and him and she said yes. Her roommate was happy to show her how to dance to the music.

There were drinking games and Paige shouted that she was winning one when the music changed and it was old music like the kind that Ben loved.

“Who is in charge of the music?” Rey asked Poe.

“Arga, she’s from Dac and has a lot of music. I have to say tall, dark and surly inspired her newest collection and I like this music better.”

“Come on let’s dance.” He dragged her to the dance floor. Rey sang along the song and jumped and danced with Kaydel, Paige and Poe. She knew this one. Ben did not like it much but Rey thought that it was nice.

Hey, hey, hey
Good to see you. Come on. Let's go
Yeah. Let's go
Alright. Alright
OK. Alright. OK
Alright. OK
Return of the Mack, get'em
"What it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn’t"
Looking for a better way to get up out of bed
Instead of getting on the internet and checking a new hit
Get up! Thrift shop, pimp strut walking
Little bit of humble, little bit of cautious
Somewhere between like Rocky and Cosby sweatergang
Nope nope y’all can’t copy
Yup, bad! Moonwalking, this here, is our party
My posse's been on Broadway, and we did it, our way
Grown music
I shed my skin and put my bones into everything I record to it
And yet I’m on
Let that stage light go and shine on down
Got that Bob Barker suit game and Plinko in my style
Money, stay on my craft and stick around for those pounds
But I do that to pass the torch and put on for my town
Trust me
On my I -N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T shit hustlin'
Chasing dreams since I was 14 with the four track bussing
Halfway cross that city with the backpack, fat cat, crushing
Labels out here
Nah, they can’t tell me nothing
We give that to the people
Spread it across the country
Labels out here
Nah, they can’t tell me nothing
We give it to the people
Spread it across the country
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us
Nah, can I kick it? Thank you. Yes, I'm so damn grateful
I grew up, really wanted gold fronts
But that’s what you get when Wu-Tang raised you
Y’all can’t stop me, go hard like I got an 808 in my heart beat
And I’m eating at the beat like you gave a little speed to a great white shark on shark week
Raw. Tell me go up. Gone!
Deuces goodbye. I got a world to see, and my girl she wanna see Rome
Ceasar make you a believer
Nah, I never ever did it for a throne
That validation comes from giving it back to the people, nah
Sing this song and it goes like
Raise those hands, this is our party
We came here to live life like nobody was watching
I got my city right behind me
If I fall, they got me
Learn from my failure, gain humility and then we keep marching ourselves
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us
Na na na na na na na na
Hey
And all my people say
Na na na na na na na na
Hey
And all my people say
Na na na na na na na na
Hey
And all my people say
Na na na na na na na na
Mackle-more
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us
Can we go back? This is the moment
Tonight is the night, we’ll fight 'till it’s over
So we put our hands up like the ceiling can’t hold us
Like the ceiling can’t hold us

They raised their arms and sang, “Like the ceiling can’t hold us.” Rey laughed and danced close to Kaydel and Poe.

She danced to more songs and was sweaty when she felt a flare of something unpleasant. Ben was by the makeshift bar and he did not look happy.

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Leia finished another report when she came home. She was tired and found her husband looking blankly at a wall.

“Something the matter?” She asked as she sat down next to Han.

Her husband shook his head, “not really but I saw something and I think I should tell you.”

Leia frowned; she immediately thought about Ben. Yesterday was scary for Han and her. She could feel that her son was on planet but they could not find him and it was pretty late when he turned in. There was an argument; Han said things and Ben was frustrated. It was not easy living with your adult son who was once one of the leaders of a dictatorship.

She ended crying that night; afraid that Han’s words would drive Ben away. Her husband tried to reassure her but there was no denying that things were coming to a head. The resistance could not exist in limbo forever. They needed to defeat Snoke sooner rather than later.

“What did you see?” She asked finally.

Han smiled, “Ben and Rey swimming.”

Leia frowned, “what is wrong with that? did they see you?”

The man shook his head. “No, I went to see Ben. I did not want to have things be sour between us. He failed to show up for lunch so I decided to seek him out. He was by the beach with Rey. They were running and swimming. They looked happy.”

Leia smiled, “why are you so worried then? I told you she would be a good influence on him.”

Han sighed, “I think he’s in love with her.”

Leia smiled, “that’s wonderful.”

Han shook his head, “it isn’t. He’s older, completely inexperienced and she’s always around Poe and Finn.”

Leia cuddled closer. “I chose you and I had Antilles and other nicer men around.”

Her husband kissed her forehead, “I got lucky but what if she hurts him.”

Leia sighed next to him. “then we’ll be there for him.”

“You should have seen his face, he was happy. His smile could have split his face. I have never heard him laugh like that in my life. He’s always smirking or being a pain but he looked genuinely happy.” Han said with a very surprised tone. Leia would have loved to see Ben like that.

Leia rested her head on Han’s shoulder. “Want to do something fun?” He wiggled his eyebrows. She stood up and took his hand. They had all afternoon to fool around. They held no illusions that Ben would come home early. Han caught his breath as he kissed her left breast. “The pilots are having a thing tonight.” He said as he inched closer to her. Leia kissed his cheek. “I heard; alcohol, a permit for music and even some food.”

Han chuckled, “yes, they’re young. When was the last time they had something to celebrate that did not involve blowing up things? They deserve some fun.”

Leia nodded, “they do. I assume you were invited.” She told him.

Han laughed, “I was. Poe is a good kid. Shara and Kes would be very proud of him.”

“They would. Amilyn says he reminds her of you when you were young.” Leia said with a smile.

Han shrugged, “maybe the same foolish bravado.”

“Perhaps, I think it is because you are both pilots. She clearly has not spent much time with Ben.”

Han sported a small smile. “He looks like me doesn’t he?”

She nodded, “he does, even more so now; remember when he was all ears?”

Han laughed, “my god; those ears! He keeps his hair long because of them.” Leia chuckled and kissed Han’s chest. “He’s very brave too. Many of the admirals and generals were impressed by his flight skills. Our son afforded the resistance with a way out. Amilyn and Ackbar were impressed by his actions.

Han kissed her forehead, “Sometimes I wish we could go back to when we started.”

Leia nodded, “I wish so too. I would have never sent him to Luke by himself. I would have gone with him.”

Han looked sad, “I would have taken you and him away from all this mess. I would have kidnapped you to the outer rim and just land on a planet without ever letting you or him leave.”

Leia touched his eyelids. “I would have killed you.”

“You would have.” He replied honestly.

They stayed in bed until late afternoon. Han helped her cook some dinner. They set the table and began to eat when Ben entered the small apartment. “I thought you two would be sleeping already.” He said and then dropped to his place to grab dinner.

“Your father and I had a late start on dinner.” She said as Ben grabbed rice, chicken and vegetables and put them on his plate.

Their son started eating enthusiastically. Han approached the subject of their argument from last night, “Did you have lunch?”

“I did.” Ben replied and continued eating.

“I wanted to speak to you about yesterday.” Han started but Ben stopped it. “We were both frustrated. I am an adult living under “your roof.” I understand it but I will not have a curfew.”

Han apologized for “treating him like a teenager” and accepted that he may have exaggerated his response.

Leia spoke about some of the training and missions. “We are going to dispatch resistance fighters in the weakest planets. We plan to break those places out of the First Order grasp and have them join us.”

“How long until the resistance has more allies?” Ben asked thoughtfully.

“A few months. Your father is smuggling products and recruiting more people around these systems.”

“You need to focus on debilitating Hux. Snoke no longer has me or the Knights of Ren. Finding Skywalker has been his focus for so long that he has given Armitage free rein to do as he pleases.” Ben explained.

Leia listened as her son explained General Hux. “Hux will focus on snuffing the resistance but also on the core star systems. He needs buy in from cities or at least to keep these systems in control to have some semblance of order.” Ben continued.

She understood her son and reassured him that they were dealing with Hux and his armies.

“Phasma is formidable. Hux will be nothing without her and the storm pilot program. You need to attack there.” Ben stated reasonably.

Leia smiled, his son had a good mind. “Finn is heading that initiative. It feels personal for him. He has an upcoming mission to attack and rescue storm troopers defectors.”

Han frowned, “it is risky. We are not sure how many storm troopers will defect and join our cause.”

Ben drank some of his wine, “you have to start somewhere. Mom’s plan is not without merit. The training program is grueling and it would be easier to change their minds during the training; the younger the better.”

Leia smiled at her son, “enough talk about work.”

They had a nice dinner and she was happy that Ben was in a better mood. They each retired after some time. Leia and Han were in bed when they heard the music. Ben sang along some songs. Leia smiled. “She’s good for him Han.”

It was a few hours later when she stood up for a glass of water. Han snored away. She was truly thirsty and decided to venture to the kitchen.

She saw a shadow to her side; it was Ben. Leia turned on the living room’s lights and found her son dressed to go out. “Where are you going?” She asked him.

“Out.” Ben ground out. He sounded angry, Leia sensed a disturbance, something mean in her child.

“Ben, is there anything wrong?” Leia asked a little apprehensive about the way Ben stood. Her son was dressed in dark pants, a beige shirt and a black vest. He looked like Han but there was no easy smile like Han’s. Ben sported a sour look. He looked dangerous.

“Nothing, I plan to fix it.” Ben replied and then left.

Leia felt uneasy but tried to sleep. She needed to trust her kid. The woman decided to not worry Han just yet.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

Ben finished listening to some songs and then tried to open the link. He wanted to see Rey. They’d been sleeping side by side thanks to their link. He concentrated and willed himself to look for Rey. He was surprised when she was not in her bed or getting ready to sleep. She was happy, smiling… A clear picture revealed itself. It was Rey dancing with one of the girls she lived with. Ben remembered, this was Kaydel Ko Connix. His mother was fond of her; Ben noticed that Rey also danced very closely to Dameron. It bothered him to no end. The pilot had his hands all over Rey. She laughed and danced some more. Ben was angry and knew exactly what he felt. He was jealous; he never liked sharing or people looking or paying too much attention to his things. He knew that Rey was not an object but she was his.

Ben was determined and decisive. There would be no hesitation or even the hint of doubt. He was sure, Rey was his and his only. She needed to know immediately. Ben stood up and dressed quickly. He put on the vest and found his mother by the living room.

He was going to fix it. He would let the whole base know that Rey was his and therefore off limits to any man, woman or alien. It had been a gross oversight from him to not let them know that she was taken. Rey did not even know it yet but there was no way that it would be different. They belonged together; he felt it in the Force.

He walked to the place where they had the party. He sat by the bar and scanned the room for her. They were playing songs with lyrics. Rey danced with Paige Tico as well. The bartender seemed surprised to see him there as did the rest of the people who noticed he was there. He was not unwelcome but people were confused. Most of these people tried to befriend him at some point. Ben stayed away from such relationships mainly because he was not interested in friends or getting to know them. Ben found early on that most people were insignificant and boring. The resistance were good people but here were dull. Some tried to make his acquaintance because of his last name and its legacy. Other were genuinely interested in being nice. Dameron had wanted to be nice and also advance his involvement with the inner circle of the rebel forces. Ben was not interested in the least.

He drank two Corellian whiskies before Rey took notice of him. He had to admit the beverages did not help him clear his mind or rein his anger. Rey could feel him he knew that she could. She was scared. She should; a dark part of his mind supplied quickly. She came to him quickly.

“Ben.” She said with a small tremble in her voice. Poe and Finn came behind her. “Fancy seeing you here.” Poe said with an annoying smile of his.

Ben did not address him or Finn. “I need to talk to you.” He told Rey in a clipped tone. The man stood up and made for Rey to follow him.

Rey frowned at him. “We can talk here.” She was stubborn; that fire inside her burned him. Ben tried to use their connection to impress the importance of them stepping outside. Rey held her own. “No. I am having fun and I want to stay here.” She hissed inside his head.

“I don’t want you here with them. Let’s get out.” He yelled inside her head.

Rey winced but held her ground. “No.”

“C’mon Rey. They’re playing a good song.” Finn pulled her to the dance floor once more.

“Tonight
I just want to take you higher
Throw your hands up in the sky
Let's set this party off right
Players, put yo' pinky rings up to the moon
Girls, what y'all trying to do?
Twenty four karat magic in the air
Head to toe so player
Look out uh
Pop pop, it's show time (show time)
Show time (show time)
Guess who's back again?
Oh they don't know? (Go on tell 'em)
Oh they don't know? (Go on tell 'em)
I bet they know soon as we walk in (showin' up)
Wearing Cuban links (ya)
Designer minks (ya)
Inglewood's finest shoes (whoop, whoop)
Don't look too hard might hurt ya'self
Known to give the color red the blues
Oh shit, I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket (keep up)
So many pretty girls around me and they waking up the rocket (keep up)
Why you mad, fix ya face, ain't my fault y'all be jocking (keep up)
Players only, come on
Put your pinky rings up to the moon
Girls, what y'all trying to do?
Twenty four karat magic in the air
Head to toe so player
Uh, look out!
Second verse for the hustlas (hustlas) gangstas (gangstas)
Bad bitches and ya ugly ass friends (haha)
Can I preach? (uh oh) can I preach? (uh oh)
I gotta show 'em how a pimp get it in
First, take your sip (sip), do your dip (dip)
Spend your money like money ain't shit (whoop, whoop)
We too fresh
Got to blame in on Jesus
Hashtag blessed, they ain't ready for me
I'm a dangerous man with some money in my pocket (keep up)
So many pretty girls around me and they waking up the rocket (keep up)

She went back to the dance floor and danced around with
Why you mad, fix ya face, ain't my fault y'all be jocking (keep up)
Players only, come on
Put your pinky rings up to the moon
Hey girls
What y'all trying to do? (What y'all trying to do?)
Twenty four karat magic in the air
Head to toe so player
Uh, look out!
everywhere I go they be like
Ooh, so player 
Everywhere I go they be like (ooh, so player ooh)
Oh everywhere I go they be like (ooh, so player ooh)
Now, now, now watch me break it down like (uh)
Twenty four karat, twenty four karat magic
What's that sound (twenty four karat, twenty four karat magic)
Come on now
Twenty four karat, twenty four karat magic
Don't fight the feeling, invite the feeling
Just put your pinky rings up to the moon
Girls, what y'all trying to do? (Tell me what y'all trying to do)
Twenty four karat magic in the air
Head to toe so player (hands up!)
Put your pinky rings up to the moon
Girls, what y'all trying to do? (Do)
Twenty four karat magic in the air
Head to toe so player (twenty four karat) uh, look out.”

So Rey of Jakku danced with her friends. She did not seem to mind him but Ben knew that felt some wariness that he was there and that he was angry. Ben drank more and more whiskies. He watched as she laughed with the three girls and smiled at both Finn and Dameron. She came to him after three more songs.

“Are you ready to leave yet?” He asked in a clipped tone. Ben’s eyes must have told her that he was close to losing his cool. Rey chose to taunt the beast inside him further. “We are going to do shots and then dance some more. No.” She was drunk and emboldened.

Paige came behind her and helped with the glasses. The girl looked at him and smiled, “you are welcome to come join us Ben.”

He would rather die than be anywhere near Dameron and Finn. Ben ignored the girl and addressed Rey once more. “Let’s go.” He hissed.

Rey shook her head and stumbled with an equally inebriated Paige.

Ben continued to watch as Rey played drinking games for another hour. He drank plenty himself. Finn and the younger Tico were making eyes at each other. The girl was not as drunk as her older sister and had the sense to stop the drinking game when Kaydel Ko Connix tried to pull her blouse down. Dameron was nowhere to be seen.

“I have to find Poe.” He heard Finn say.

Rose nodded, “I think is time for us to go home.” She half yelled over the loud music. Rey was composed and helped Paige.

“Sounds like a good idea.” Rey retorted and helped Paige up. Finn had gone away. Ben stood up and realized that he drank way more than he ever intended. He swayed but kept his vision on one Rey. The four drunken girls stumbled to the path to their apartment. The Connix girl swayed while the Tico girl followed her. Ben walked faster and took her off of Rose.

“Thank you.” The shorter woman said.

Ben carried the girl to her bed. Their room was very small. “Let me help you with her.” Rose was definitely soberer than either him or Rey. She singlehandedly put the Connix girl and her sister to bed.

“Ben, you should leave.” Rey said as she pushed him outside of the room. She was uncoordinated and almost fell to the side. She was taller, it was the heels.

Rose smiled at him. “Thank you Ben.” She called out.

Rey pushed him out of the apartment. “You did not come with me.”

She frowned, “you stayed all night.”

“I want to talk to you.” He said as he faced her. Ben liked that she was taller. They saw almost eye to eye.

“Good night Ben.” She made to go back inside once more. Ben grabbed her elbow and turned her to him.

“You are not doing that again. You are not to go dancing with Dameron again.” He said and remembered how close she danced to the pilot.

Rey frowned, “I did not like the way you felt back then.”

Ben was angry with her. “Then do not pull anything like that ever again.” He shouted at her.

Rey blinked at him and then shoved him. “I am going to bed.” She tried to end their conversation.

“Promise you will not do it again.” He said in a low voice.

Rey turned and shook her head, “I had a lot of fun tonight. I enjoyed myself and my friends. You are going to have to live with that Ben.”

He felt as if the ground was no longer there for him. It was so easy in his mind. He did not foresee this eventuality. He thought she would acquiesce and do his bidding. She needed to know.

“Are you interested in Dameron?” He asked bluntly.

Rey cocked her head to the side. It would have been comical had he not felt a ball of lead on his stomach. “What do you mean?”

Ben remained calm or at least tried to. “I mean; do you want him to be your partner?”

Rey laughed, “No.” She then blushed. It was not hard to know what she thought about when he said partner. Rey thought of him. He tried to look for more.

“That’s private. Don’t.” She pushed him again.

Ben was speechless and then looked at her and put forth a picture too. It was of her in the water and then he thought of Chandrila and her. “I want you by my side.” He thought.

Rey came closer. He looked at her lips and wondered what they would feel like to lick them. Ben did. He took her lower lips and licked it. Ben was lost when she responded to him. He’d never kissed anyone but neither had she. He knew, Ben just knew what to do with her. Rey’s arms were around his neck and he could not breathe properly. He had to come up for air. He looked into her eyes and smiled softly at her. She pecked him again. “I want more.” She whispered. “I want it all.”

“We’re drunk.” He said but then pulled her closer and kissed her again. Ben moved to her neck. Rey arched closer to him.

“Could we find our place?” She said between kisses. She caressed his scalp. It was late and he was disoriented. “We could try.” He moaned when she kissed the side of his mouth and touched his chest.

Ben immediately realized that it was too far away and they would never make it. He pulled away from her. “We have to stop.” He reluctantly said.

Rey kissed him one more. “We don’t have to. Take me to your home. We don’t have to do anything. I want to hold you close.”

He forgot about his parents and kissed her again. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

They made their way to his bedroom. Rey was still buzzed but she knew what would happen that night and she wanted it to happen. She was not completely oblivious. She knew about what happened between men and women. Rey never had those strong urges but with Ben it was like an explosion. She wanted to kiss him all night long. Rey was dizzy from his touch. They crossed the small apartment’s living room and Ben closed the door. He locked the room. Rey stepped off her heels. Ben crouched down a little to be at her level. “Help me out of the dress.” She whispered quickly. Ben regained some balance and undid a tiny zipper.

Rey was there half naked in front of him. She wore different underwear from her usual things. Rey’s eyes were clearer than before. She was sobering up too. She felt bold; Ben was out of his pants, vest and shirt in not time. “Your turn again.” Ben whispered. They were almost naked in front of each other. This was unlike their bond sessions where they covertly looked at each other. He had permission to really look at her. Ben noticed a birth mark by her left hipbone. Her quasi Jedi Master said it looked like the Scorpio constellation in the Milky way galaxy. His uncle Luke taught him about those many years ago. He traced it and then played with her panties. “We could just sleep Rey?” He insisted after she shuddered at his touch. He must have thought that she was not ready. Rey thought back to the whole night. She was afraid of him tonight. He was all rage and his eyes were not his usual warm brown. They turned dark brown. He looked more like Kylo Ren than ever. He then asked her to go with him and she refused; because she was scared and because he was rude. She half expected him to throw a tantrum or just leave. He stayed and watched her. Ben was upset and Rey had fun. He insisted on talking to her after Poe disappeared. Rey refused; she was drunk and annoyed by his anger and pretentiousness. He kept asking about Poe and it made no sense. She realized then; after he entered her mind and let her enter his. She finally had a name for what she wanted with Ben.

She knew, unconsciously Rey understood that she wanted him like Finn wanted Rose. She kissed him before she lost her nerve. She was drunk but the desire for him was overpowering. They made it to his home. His parents were meters away from his room and it did not matter. Maybe it was the alcohol or the fact that there was something pulling her to Ben. The force between them, that bond was stronger than ever. He looked at her with those sad brown eyes. Rey knew that he would stop if she asked him to. He would probably give her one of his shirts and sleep by her side. Rey undid her bra and faced him. His eyes went to her chest immediately. She blushed, she was by no means chesty. “Can I touch you?”

He asked and traced her nipple when she nodded. Ben kissed her collarbone. Rey moaned and caressed his back. Suddenly, he was kissing down to her chest. He licked her nipples and looked up to her. It made her feel tingles in her lower belly and she had a picture of Ben’s long fingers there, inside of her moving in and out while he looked up to her. She felt her face heat up; Ben kneeled and kissed her belly button. “I want to kiss you here.” He whispered and ran a finger over her clothed center.

Rey let out a shaky yes. Ben lowered her panties and played with her. He ran his finger over her mound and then kissed the little nub that almost made her legs give out. “Let’s go to bed.” His eyes were very dark brown but they held another promise.

Rey laid down. Ben lowered his boxers; she’d seen penises on holopads and dirty holovids in the junkyard ships she scavenged. Ben was big and thick; he was also very hard. Ben hovered over her and went back to kissing her center. She tried to reach whatever she could of him and moaned lowly when he licked and played with her. She knew it was coming, her toes curled, and her legs quivered when he used his mouth and fingers inside of her. Rey saw stars exploding and breathless when he kissed up her chest and neck. Rey was boneless and ran her fingers through his hair. Ben had gorgeous hair.

Rey kissed him and cradled him between her legs. He moaned so quietly, she almost did not hear him. “I want to touch you.” She replied and reached for him. Ben rocked back and forth. “Don’t.” He kissed her some more. “It will be over if you touch me like that.” His penis looked red and angry. Rey moved her hips along his. He rubbed her with his cock Ben was sweaty and so was she. “I want to be inside of you.” He then kissed her harshly.

“Yes.” She opened her legs a little. Ben fingered her once more. He spread the wetness around. “It’s going to hurt.” He said and then looked uncertain. Rey kissed him and pulled him closer. “I want you to do it.”

Ben kissed her back after some awkward placement and looks he inched inside of her. Rey winced, it hurt very much and then she felt soothed. Rey opened her eyes and saw his pained face. She realized he used a Jedi trick on her. “Ben, stop.” He opened his eyes and shook his head. “I want to feel everything.” She kissed his shoulder. Ben nodded and dropped the trick. She was stretched and it burned but then she concentrated on Ben’s deeply satisfied face. His face was beautiful. She would kiss every single one of his moles. She moved alongside him. He was taut and trying to last as long as he could. Rey could tell that he wanted her to have a good first time and did not want to finish so soon. It was his first time too. They were each other’s first and only. Ben looked at her tenderly and kissed her again and again. Rey felt the inklings of another explosion in her belly. Ben was close. He was moving faster and faster. She kissed his ear and then he was spilling inside of her. She was tired and welcomed that he nuzzled her sweaty neck and then held her to him.

They kissed some more. “It was beautiful Ben.” She smiled herself silly when he smiled and kissed her nose. Rey made good on her promise and kissed every single mole on his face before she fell asleep. Ben held her to his chest and pulled over one of his legs over her hips.

Ben must have covered them with his comforter. She had a headache but smiled when she looked at Ben. He was completely at peace, eyes closed, mouth slightly open. There was natural light filtering from the window. She realized that she slept in his bedroom and had to leave before Leia and Han woke up. She needed to use the fresher and leave. “Ben, Ben, I have to use the fresher.” She shook him a little.

Ben woke up confused and with the same headache if his face was anything to go by. She kissed him gently and he kissed back. “Good morning.” He whispered.

“Good morning.” She kissed his chin. “I need the fresher Ben.” He nodded. “I need it too.” They were both naked still. Rey admired him from her side of the bed. He noticed her eyes and his penis twitched. He blushed; Rey sat up and let her small breasts show. His eyes darkened and his cock grew hard. “Fresher first.” She said. Ben put on sweats and offered her a t-shirt. It went past her knees.

“It is still very early.” He said “I doubt they are awake yet.” They made their way to the fresher. Rey made him turn around while she peed. Ben had no qualms whether she watched or not. He shrugged and went about his business.

Ben kissed her some more. “I need to get back to my place.” She said when he tried to pull off the t-shirt.

“I’ll walk you.” He replied and turned on the spray. They washed each other quickly. The water felt heavenly on her body and it helped that Ben massaged her shoulders and shampooed her hair. She kissed him once more. “I want you again.” Ben rubbed against her.

She smiled, “I have to go Ben. Rose is probably wondering where I am.”

Ben nodded, “Fine.” He kissed her again.

Ben used a towel and then walked back to his room. He would retrieve her clothes and shoes. Rey combed her hair and waited for him. He was back, dressed with his regular clothes and gave her the dress and bra.

“Where is my underwear?” She asked as he hooked on her bra.

“I couldn’t find them.” He replied quickly.

They made their way out of the apartment and hurried to hers. “Let me change and then we can go training.” She said as soon as they arrived to the apartment.

“Have breakfast and then I’ll meet you at our place.” He said and pecked her on the lips.

Rey made her way inside the apartment. Paige was throwing up in the fresher. Kaydel was passed out on her bed. Rose was by the kitchen nursing a cup of tea.

“Where were you?” She asked as soon as she saw her.

Rey shrugged, “out.”

Rose remained quiet, “I did not see you get in. I was worried.” The girl looked hurt.

“I’m sorry Rose. I was safe.” Rey smiled openly.

“How are you feeling?” The girl asked her and then offered her tea. “I know my head is killing me and Paige has been sick for about an hour.”

Rey accepted the tea, “thank you Rose. I’m going to cook something up. Do you want anything?”

Her friend shook her head, “I’m going to sit by Paige.” Rose then left.

Rey decided to eat and then change. She had some toast and then dressed in her usual clothes. The girl ate very quickly. She wanted to see Ben once more. Rey skipped out of her bedroom. She checked her holopad and saw a message from Finn. She replied that she could not make it to breakfast and agreed to meet him and Poe later that day for lunch.

Ben was there, dressed with his usual clothes. She gave him a sunny smile. “Hello there.” She said and tip toed to kiss him. Ben kissed her back.

“I thought we could train and then go to the beach; practice your swimming.” He said shyly.

Rey nodded, “I would love to. We could train until lunch; I promised to meet Finn for lunch.” She noticed that Ben frowned but nodded. “We’ll swim after lunch then.” He said once again in an uncertain voice.

“We’ll do.” She gave him her hand and they walked to the courtyard where they usually practiced.

There were far less recruits than usual, Rey guessed it was because of last night’s exploits. Ben pushed her that day. He gave her no quarter or breaks. Rey relished his insistence. She retaliated and concentrated on him. Ben was bigger and stronger but Rey could be quicker. She focused on his torso and legs. He used the force on her and froze her a couple of times until she regained footage.

“Ben.” His father yelled.

Ben stopped defending himself. “I’ll see you after lunch.”

Rey nodded and itched to peck those lips. She settled for lightly brushing her fingers against his hand. His eyes sparked with happiness; not that anyone could see it but Rey could. She could also feel his force signature; purple and contentment.

She waved hello to Han who smiled and waved back. “Rey, you could join us.”

“No thank you. Finn is waiting for me.” She said and then went the other direction.

Rey met a pale looking Finn and a green looking Poe. “How are you so perky?” Poe asked her immediately.

“It’s a beautiful day. I trained and my headache is gone.” She said with a smile.

Finn nodded and did not make any moves to get up and get lunch. “I’m starving. Let’s go.” She said and stood up.

“Oh no. I am here because I wanted to make sure you were fine. I have no intentions of throwing up again.” Poe said tiredly.

Finn stood up with her, “I could use some food.” He accompanied her to the line.

“Peanut, I was worried about you and Solo.” He said when they were out of Poe’s earshot.

Rey frowned, “why would you be worried?” She was not ashamed of Ben but she knew he would not take well to other people knowing about them. Had Finn seen them? Did Rose figure it out?

Finn sighed, “I know you spend a lot of time with him and that you think he’s truly changed…” Her friend looked hesitant and then blurted it out. “I don’t like the way he looked at you yesterday. It was creepy; I know he followed you too.”

Rey shook her head, “don’t worry Finn. He was just worried about training and wanted to make sure that we got home ok.”

Her friend smiled, “just looking out for you Peanut.”

They made their way back to the table. Poe was in a rotten state and decided to go back to his quarters. He was lucky it was his day off duty. Finn and her ate in happy companionship. “I am meeting Rose later. She is going to show me her work on the communication systems in the new fighter planes.”

Rey grinned, “you two…”

Fin blushed a little, “Not yet but I think she’s great.”

Rey smiled, “I can tell she likes you Finn. Don’t worry so much.”

Rey enjoyed her meal but could not wait to see Ben once again. She did not think that they would make it to the beach that day. Rey wanted to see him naked. She wanted to feel him inside her. It was all she could think about during lunch. She said her goodbyes to Finn and then went to the old warehouse.

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

Ben woke up with a blinding headache; things were coming to a head. He could feel it and he knew his mother could as well. They had to escape the last planet and were now in the Falcon. The resistance fleet was dispersed across this system. It had been two days since it happened.

Ben and Rey trained and he felt the disturbance in the force. “Stop.” He yelled when Rey came forward with her staff. She stopped mid thrust. “Get your lightsaber out.” He said and grabbed her hand. They ran to the makeshift yards.

It was madness; Rey’s roommate yelled at people to get on the ships. Ben looked up and saw the First Order ships above. Ben did not have the time to think before his father pulled him and Rey. “Get to the Falcon now.” He yelled. Ben nodded and ran with Rey. His mother was inside already.

“They found our quadrants Ben.” She said. “We are trapped.”

Ben shook his head, “no, have the fighters attack. That will buy us time. We have to disband.” He said quickly.

His mother shook his head, “no, we’ve always stayed together.”

Ben looked at her and replied immediately. “You know it cannot be done. We’ve prepared for this. It is the only way. Amylin and Ackbar have their people. We will leave with our group and then meet when the time is right.”

The fight started. “We have to go. Where’s dad?” He yelled as more peopled entered the ship. He saw the Connix girl and Finn.

“Here son.” He ran and got to the chair. “Ben, find them a place.” He said as Chewie sat by him.

The Falcon was small and there were at least twenty people inside. He conditioned three places for them to sleep. Chewie would have to bunk with three people. His parents would stay in his father’s bunk.

“What about the others?” Finn asked out loud once Leia outlined the plan to follow.

“We will meet once the danger has passed.” His mother said in a calm voice.

It was two days later and they were nowhere near finding a safe place to land. There was only one good thing about leaving the blue planet behind. Rey got to sleep with him. His father gave him a look and then tried to give him the talk once he explained the sleeping arrangements. There were only three females on board and they were give a storage room with a lock because ladies get doors.

“I do not have more mats to spare; two of the girls will have to share.” Han said off handedly.

“That will not be necessary. Rey will sleep in my quarters.” Ben replied.

His father gave him a look and then tried to casually ask him if he was treating Rey right. “We are not having this conversation.” Ben said and left the room.

Han Solo nodded. “Good, just be careful.” He yelled after him.

Rey kissed his forehead, “the headache again?” She said and caressed his neck. Ben basked in her care. “It will be soon Rey.”

Rey hugged him. “I think I know where we’re going Ben.” His heart raced; she let him know without words. They were going to Skywalker. Ben felt indescribable rage at his parents. His father promised he would not give him to Skywalker again. She kissed his hand. “We’ll run away as soon as we land. He will not want to join. I could fly us out. I’m a great pilot. We’ll face him once and for all.” She said in one breath.

Ben looked at her and nodded. “We will take the Falcon.” He replied and kissed her.

Rey welcomed him and accommodated him between her legs. Ben was addicted to her. She made him forget about the world. He kissed down to her belly, he loved the little noises she made. “You have to be quiet Rey.” He whispered as he moved lower to her clothed center. Ben smirked and lowered her panties. The headache forgotten when he licked her clit. All his brain thought was Rey panting and moaning his name. He could feel her legs trembling and trapping him between her legs. She came with a muffled shout. Ben looked up and saw that she had his pillow on her face. He was incredibly hard from looking at her flushed face. Ben rubbed himself along her slit. She arched her back when he entered her. She grabbed his hair and pulled him to her. She squeezed her legs around his back. He thrust deep and moaned when she tried to roll her hips and match his pace. Ben watched as Rey tried to muffle her sounds with the pillow. Ben frowned. He wanted to look at her in the eyes when she came again. He removed the pillow with the force. Rey’s eyes were dilated, her cheeks read and her mouth half open. She looked at him and rolled her eyes when he touched her clit with his finger. Ben loved to see her like that all flustered, incoherent with want. Ben could feel her; her need, that desperate cry for something that in her mind only he could give her.

Rey tried to reach for the pillow once more. Ben shook it away. “Self-control sweetheart.” He mumbled and continued to pound into her. Rey let out a drawn out moan. He did not want to stop or not see her eyes when she came so he settled for the next best thing. Ben covered her mouth with his hand. She looked surprised for a second before scratching his back. She was close; Ben could tell by her eyes. Rey came hard around him. He had to keep his hand in position to quieten her scream of ecstasy.

He fucked her until he spasmed inside of her. Ben removed his hand from her and bit her lower lip. Rey smiled while licking his lip. “That was…”

Ben nodded while nuzzling the side of her neck. “I know.” He wanted to stay by her side for a few more hours. They were at peace for all of thirty minutes before there was a knock on the door.

“We are landing soon.” It was his father’s voice. Ben frowned and stood up. He put on his underwear and clothes. It was a blessing that his father had a strict policy of having clothes stored in the Falcon. He was lucky that he and Han Solo were the same size when younger. Rey had to wear her clothes for days until his father found some appropriate clothes for her. As it happened Han Solo did not get rid of his mother’s clothes. To be honest, Leia’s clothes were a bit short on Rey. She wore a brown dress and was trying to make her three buns when there was another knock.

“I need you two in the cockpit.” This time it was his mother’s voice.

“Leave it Rey.” He said and undid removed her hands from her hair. She had beautiful brown hair.

They walked out and joined his parents and Chewie in the cockpit. His mother looked at Rey with strange eyes. “I know that dress.”

Rey looked down. “Father gave her some of your clothes.” Ben replied a little defensively.

His mother smiled, “you must not take it the wrong way. It is just strange that you chose to wear that dress today.”

Rey frowned, “Well, it fits better than the other clothes.”

He looked ahead and realized where they were. “This is Endor. I thought you were going to take us to Skywalker.”

Han was the first to speak. “Luke will meet us here soon.” He said uncomfortably.

Ben tried his best to remain passive. He looked at his mother and could feel her hesitance and fear. “I see.”

His father was silent. This was mother’s idea; she clung to the idea that he could work with Skywalker and defeat the First Order. She was sorely mistaken.

“Will this be all?” Ben hissed.

“We expect you and Rey to meet with us. Your uncle would like to see the both of you.” His mother said. “Ben, this is the way.” She said pleadingly.

Ben looked at her while his father steered the Falcon. “This could never be the way mother.”

Rey followed him back to their quarters. She hugged him from behind when he shook with rage. “I don’t want to see him.” He tried not to yell.

“What do you want to do Ben?” Rey whispered into his mind.

“I want to end it. I can’t do this any longer. We’ll meet with Skywalker and then take the Falcon.” He said immediately.

Rey nodded and held him. Endor was beautiful. “Don’t wander off too far.” Han called out.

Ben did not acknowledge him and walked off with Rey. They sat by a small brook and meditated for two hours.

“He’s here.” Ben said and tensed. Rey held out her hand and they walked to the signature.

“This is a mistake sweetheart. Our boy does not want to see Luke. We will lose him again.” Ben could hear his father speak in rapid tones like he did when he was upset.

“Han, we are out of options. We’ve always known it would come to this.” She explained.

“And what do you have to say for yourself kid?” Han asked Skywalker.

“The Force guided me here.” The Jedi master replied.

“Hello Ben.” Skywalker addressed him directly. Ben stepped forward as did Rey.

“Rey from Jakku.” The older man smiled at her gently. “You have trained her. I assumed you would.”

There was absolute silence. “You have grown taller since the last time I saw you. You look a lot like your father. I can also see much of your grandfather in you.”

Ben felt anger, so much anger that he clenched his jaw and clutched his lightsaber. “It has to go this way doesn’t it.” The older man sighed and lighted the saber.

“Luke don’t.” His father yelled. “What are you doing?” It was too late Ben had his lightsaber out and aimed at his uncle.

Ben became Kylo Ren for a second and remembered the betrayal he felt when his uncle Luke attacked him all those years ago. Ben ran and began fighting with as much energy as he could. His mother tried to put herself between them. Ben pushed her aside with the force.

“Such power.” Skywalker said and fought him back.

Ben tried as much as he could but the older man was unruffled. He yelled and thrust the saber with as much power as he could. Ben sought weak spots and found none. The land around him shook as he tried unsuccessfully to wound his uncle. It was for naught. Skywalker looked at him dead in the eyes and said, “I hope that satisfies your need for revenge. Now come and talk to us. We need to end this at once.”

He wanted to yell and actually growled at his uncle. “Ben please.” His father tried to reach his hand. Ben shook it off. “He needs to calm down.” Leia said. “We will wait for you here Ben.” His mother motioned to a hut in front of them.

Ben glared at her and clipped his lightsaber. He walked the opposite direction. Rey went after him. He almost ran to the Falcon. “The time is now.” He said through clenched teeth.

Rey looked at him and took his hand. “We have to fight him now. I need to be as far away from them as possible.” He said still angry at his parents. “He will know my plans if we stay longer.”

Chewie was nearby but let them inside the Falcon. Rey wanted to fly it; Ben was in no condition to do so. He was too raw to do anything but want to scream.

He meditated and breathed easier when Rey asked him to punch into hyperspace. Ben blocked his mother’s pleading voice to come back.

Chapter Text

Chapter 19

Han’s heart still raced as he entered the hut. “What were you thinking?” He yelled at Luke.

“He needed to let the anger out. He’s so very angry still. I fear for Ben.” Luke continued, “he has too much passion inside of him; his emotions could be the end of us all.”

Han paced, “why did you agree to come here?” He was sure that Leia was mistaken but she had won him over with her reasoning just like last time.

“I needed to see Leia and you for one last time. My time to join the Force nears.” He said in a calm voice.

“You have to help Ben. Snoke has gained so much power. The galaxy needs the Jedi.” Leia said in a pleading voice.

“My time is over. The Jedi Order is no more.” He replied calmly. “It ended that night when Ben turned.” He said sadly.

“There’s goodness in him. He is back with us Luke. Ben needs to find his way in all of this.” Leia explained.

Luke sighed, “his power is too raw, too sentient Leia. I was afraid for him and of him. The things that he’s done. The things he can do are frightening.”

Han had enough of talk. “Our son found his way back to us. I will not hear any more of this. I should have never let him go with you. It is my biggest regret that I did.” He finally spat; a part of him always blamed Luke. He’d been jealous that Luke got to be such an important part of Ben’s life while he was alienated and relegated to visitor and spectator in his son’s life.

Luke was impossibly impassive when he nodded, “perhaps it was. I thought I could save him form darkness. I was Jedi Master Skywalker; my destiny was to save the galaxy and I did. I watched over Ben since you brought him to me. I saw him struggle with darkness. He complained of the voices every night and asked for you Han. He said you would make it feel better.” Han clenched his fists. Luke was sadistic and cold in his approach to all of this.

“He learned; Ben concentrated and mastered the Jedi texts. He excelled in practice and meditation but his heart turned once again. He became obsessed with Darth Vader and his supposed legacy. I suspected a change of heart and went to his hut that night. For a second I thought I could stop it all before he destroyed all I loved. I trained my lightsaber on him. I faltered, I could not kill my nephew.” Luke confessed.

Han had enough. “You. We trusted you.” Leia had tears on her eyes. “Let him finish Han.”

Luke had a faraway look, “Ben woke up and I saw the eyes of a betrayed boy. He reacted. That night was my fault. I remember waking up to the temple burning.”

Leia cried openly. “It was your fault. You created Kylo Ren.” Han roared. “How could you? Your own blood?” He yelled.

“It is done now.” Luke replied simply.

Leia looked at her brother with hurt eyes. “That was why he refused to see you. He’s so angry at you.”

Han could not look at his brother in law. It was a good thing that Chewie entered the hut. The Wookie growled softly. Han’s insides turned cold, “Ben and Rey took the Falcon.”

“They’re going to face Snoke.” Luke said with a small smile.

“We need a ship. Chewie can track the Falcon.” Han ran out the hut and found Luke’s ship. It would have to do. Leia followed him. “I’m going with you.”
Luke stayed back. “I will not see you again.” He said. Leia turned back and hugged his brother. Han hung back. He nodded at Luke. Han would not hug him or forgive him for what he did. He trusted Luke to take care of his kid and he failed.

Han, Chewie and Leia boarded the small craft. Han and Chewie plotted the course and followed the Falcon to toward the Roseo system.

Leia looked somber but certain, “we need to send a message to the resistance. We need their fighter pilots and bombers.”

Han nodded, “Send it. Let them know.” He was focused on getting Ben out of this alive.

They were in front of Snoke’s ship. Han felt bile rise up his throat. Leia looked anguished. “He’s here.”

Soon there were other ships. The resistance surrounded the ship. The First Order attacked them and they attacked back. “We need to get into that base. We need to find Ben.” Han said as they avoided resistance and first order fighters.

Han managed to get them inside the bigger ship. He helped Leia outside of the craft and hurried her along the hallways. He and Chewie blasted some Stormtroopers. Leia got her hands on another blaster and they tried to navigate the mess of doors into something that could be worthwhile. They followed Leia who could feel Ben. Soon they were looking down, there a floor below them were Ben and Rey engaged kneeling in front of Snoke.

“This is your last chance Kylo. Give me Skywalker and all will be forgiven. You will have the girl as your empress if you so wish. Your bloodline will be great, your children will rule the galaxy after you and your young empress. All will be forgiven. Your parents will be granted mercy. They will live out their days in exile.” The monster wheedled.

Han’s heart almost gave up when Ben lowered his head and looked up. He offered him Rey’s lightsaber and then offered his. Rey was suspended in the air as Snoke tortured her. Chewie whined lowly. Ben’s eyes were lowered.

“Ben, please don’t do this!” Rey yelled.

“Silly, little girl. Did you not see. He is darkness; his soul has been mine since he was six years old.” Snoke continued.

“You will kill this girl Ren.” The monster continued. Ben still kneeled and ignited his lightsaber. Rey shrieked and then dropped to the floor.

“Do it. Kill your true enemy.” Snoke said.

“Ben.” Rey said in a soft voice.

Han and Leia were transfixed when Ben came close to her and caressed her face. “Stand by me.” He said and then waved his hand.

Han thought that his son would ignite the saber to kill the girl. He was prepared to see his son murder in front of his eyes but then his boy surprised him. The lightsaber by Snoke’s side ignited. Snoke’s upper half was on the floor.

Leia gasped by his side. The praetorian guard circled Rey and Ben. They fought side by side. “Come on Sweetheart. We have to help them.” Han smiled and ushered a confused Leia.

Han blasted two red guards. Ben and Rey fought back to back. It was a dance. They complemented each other to a fault. There were more First Order men coming in front the doors.

Ben choked some of the Stormtroopers; the others fled the room. “We have to leave now. The resistance will blow this ship very soon.”

Ben nodded and grabbed Rey. They made it to the Hangar before a red headed officer yelled at Ben. “REN.”

Ben turned and moved his hand as if to choke the man which he did.

“We have to go.” Leia yelled.

“That’s Hux. You will have another Empire on your hands if you do not get rid of him.” Ben yelled.

Han shot at the man. “We have to leave now.” The redhead was on the floor with a blast to the chest.

Leia grabbed his hand and they reached the Falcon.

They were out of range and welcomed into Holdo’s ship within twenty minutes.

He hugged Ben hard. “I thought we lost you again. Why did you not wait? I know, we know Ben. I’m so sorry.” He said and kissed his forehead many times.

It was Leia’s turn then. She hugged their child and then cried into his chest. Ben held her. Han hugged them both again.

Rey was by the side. Han knew what it felt to be left out. “You’ll be a fine daughter in law.” He said and kissed her cheek. Han hugged her too. Rey blushed. “Thank you.”

“We have circled the command ships. The resistance has grown. The men and women of many star systems rebelled when General Hux ordered an increase in the recruits for the Stormtrooper program.

Han nodded and watched as the fighters destroyed the ship. They watched as the other fleets surrounded them and attacked what was left of the core First Order. Ben looked exhausted.

“Come, we have to find you a place to rest.” He herded his son and Rey to sleeping quarters. “Rest. You two did well.” He said and hugged them both.

News trickled quickly and wildly. The resistance focuses took over entire systems. The inner systems jailed First Order commanders while Stormtroopers deserted left and right. Han sat with Leia as she devised plans and worked with other generals. News came that Chandrila was liberated and so were Yavin and other planets “Where to?” Holdo asked Leia.

His wife looked at him tiredly, “Chandrila.” Han nodded and took her to their makeshift sleeping quarters.

They showered together. He helped her undo the braids and realized how old and tired he was.

“Chandrila?” Han asked when they went to bed. He kissed her shoulder and held her to him.

Leia sighed, “I want to go home. It used to be the capital of the New Republic. I should continue to be so.”

Han kissed her cheek, “I thought he was going to kill her.” She said carefully.

“So did I.” He confessed.

Leia shook with sobs, “We are horrible parents.”

Han realized she was correct, “we are but we’re the only ones he’s got.”

Leia hugged him. “The next months are going to be hard.”

Of course Ben knew. It would be even worse than after Endor. Leia would be knees deep in treaties and Senate meetings. He kissed her once more. “I don’t want Ben to leave again.” She was scared that their son would alienate them once more.

Han tried to reassure her. “Let’s get to Chandrila first. We will have time to think once we’ve landed home.” He slept easy and for a few hours. Leia woke him up with a few kisses. “We will be home in an hour. You need to get up and dress.” She said with a small smile. Leia left in a hurry as there was a meeting with the council. They needed to meet with representatives of the different planets to establish a government and the Senate.

Han went about his morning routine and found her seating with Amylin. “Good morning ladies.”

He said and sat down to have breakfast. Amylin smiled politely and resumed her conversation. Leia spoke about the new Senate and different rules to bring the Stormtroopers into the fold. First Order commanders would be jailed and tried in the upcoming weeks. “We will re-establish Chandrila as the capital of the New Republic.” Leia continued. “We will resume the Senate and the people will elect their representatives.”

Poe Dameron came in soon after. He looked freshly showered, “Generals, we have information about First Order ships leaving systems and allying to overthrow the Republic once more.”

Leia nodded. Han remembered the euphoria of last time but also all the work that took for them to establish a semblance of peace. He wondered if they were too old for this again. She looked at him in askance. Han had piloted and successfully captured Empire focus points. Years of smuggling afforded him with most of the routes to places.

Han sighed but pecked her lips softly. “Get me R2 and Chewie. I will give you the possible routes. I need your best men, those who did not fight tonight. We need rested men.”

Poe nodded and went to look for the men. He had a grin on his face. The young man was excited by the prospect of chasing after The First Order. The kid had no idea what it was like, not yet. He had not truly experienced loss. He may have lost a few friends during the fight but not someone he truly cared about.

“Han are you sure?” Leia asked him when Amylin left to make sure that this flyboy did not screw things for them.

Han looked at the love of his life and nodded. “You are going to lead the Senate.” He said plainly.

Leia nodded, “I have to.” She looked anxious.

“I will be by your side Leia. I am not leaving.” He replied immediately.

“What about Ben? What if he decides to leave?” Leia asked him worriedly.

Han frowned, “Let’s hope he decides to stay in Chandrila but if he decides to go I doubt he will want me by his side anymore. He has Rey now.”

Leia nodded and squeezed his hand. “I will try to delegate more. I swear Han.”

He kissed her hand, “Of course you will Sweetheart.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 20

Ben was out cold. Rey woke up and relived the last 24 hours. Her heart raced and then calmed down when she saw Ben’s arm across her middle. They made it out of Snoke’s ship in the Falcon. Ben and her were ready to end it all once they saw that they would be surrounded. They would be one with the force. It was not the case; his parents came and rescued them.

They must have slept for hours. “Ben.” She whispered gently. He frowned and then spoke in a rasp.

“I thought we would die. I’m sorry for taking you there.” He said with his eyes closed.

She kissed the side of his neck. “Ben, what would have happened if I died?”

Ben opened his eyes, “I would have turned to darkness. I would have found a way to bring you back to me or join you.” He was honest to a fault.

Rey kissed his plump lips. “I love you.” She said clearly. “I wanted you to know.”

Ben smiled at her. “I love you too.” He said with earnestness.

They stayed staring at each other for what seemed like a very long time. “It appears that we are landing.” Rey said quickly.

They wore the same clothes. They must have looked frightful. “We have to find my parents.” Ben said and he offered his hand to her. They made their way to the main conference room. Leia sat surrounded by the other leaders. She looked up and had only eyes for her child.

“Ben.” She said and stood up. “How are you feeling Bennie?” She whispered gently.

“I’m fine mom. Where is dad?” He asked immediately.

Leia frowned a bit, “He is with Poe. Your father is showing him different routes to capture the First Order generals.”

It was Ben’s turn to frown, “I see.”

The older woman placed a hand on Ben’s chest, “it is not like that Ben. Your father is not running off. He is staying on planet with me.”

Rey could tell that Ben was not convinced of that. She remained quiet when Ben asked where were they headed. Leia wore the biggest smile she’d seen since Ben defected from the First Order. “Chandrila.”

“Is it going to be the Capital of the Republic once more?” He asked with a mask of indifference. Rey could tell that he was happy to be back.

Rey knew he was enjoyed being in his home planet. He had good memories of the place.

“You will lead the senate once more.” Ben continued as they prepared for landing.

Leia nodded, “they will have to elect leaders.”

Ben sighed and offered his arm as they descended from the ship.

Rey followed them. She was not ready for the crowds outside. There were men, women and aliens from many planets waiting for Leia. She was not surprised when the crowds chanted for them. “Princess Leia. Prince Ben.”

Leia waved and smiled. She was a little surprised when Ben waved as well. He did not smile but nodded and thanked people around him as did his mother.

Rey stayed back a bit. She was surprised when Han caught up to her. “Leia taught him to wave and smile when he was a toddler. Don’t think less of him for it.”

Rey shook her head. “It’s fine kid. They’re complicated people but they need us.”

She smiled at Han. The man always knew how to boost her. “What happens next?”

Han walked alongside her. “We rebuild. Leia will call for meetings with delegates and they will choose a Senate. Leia will most likely preside. The rogue members of the First Order will be captured. There will be more missions and it’s all so that your children will not have to grow up like you did or worse; like Leia and I did.”

Rey quieted and walked with Han. They reached an old building. Ben pulled her aside. “These are the Senate Headquarters.” He whispered on the side.

“What are we doing here?” She thought.

He rubbed her hand, “waiting for transport home. Mom has to arrange living quarters for the fleet and start funeral and memorial arrangements for the fallen.”

“Rey, your friend Paige...” He looked sad for her.

Rey felt bad for Rose. Paige was a nice girl. She was a good roommate and sometimes friend.

The general discussed arrangements. Poe was to be on mission. Finn volunteered as did Rose. Rey felt sad to not see her friends but happy that they were fine. Han reassured her that they would be back soon as the teams would have to rotate schedules.

Rey was exhausted when the impromptu meetings concluded. The Republic officials filed out of the room one by one. “We need to find you a place to sleep.” Leia said gently.

“She goes with me.” Ben took her hand. Rey nodded.

Han rolled his eyes, “we’re not taking her away Ben. Your mother and I are quite happy with you and Rey.”

She blushed but Ben frowned. “Where are we staying?”

Rey could tell that Han and Leia were anxious. This must be new territory with their newly reconciled son. She was just as anxious and uncomfortable. The only one who seemed at ease was Ben. She reached out to him and found that was not putting up a front. There was no deception. Rey could feel the simplicity of his emotions. He loved Rey and therefore she should be with him.

Leia tried to sound as much at ease as possible. “Our apartments. They were enclosed when The First Order forced the Senate out of Chandrila.”

“Rey and I need our own space.” Ben said while avoiding eye contact with his parents. Rey opted for the same strategy and found a panel on the left of Han fascinating.

It was Leia who salvaged the awkward situation. “Of course. We will condition quarters within the same building. Maybe on the floors below or above ours.”

Ben agreed on the spot. They wandered around the building; Ben told her about the rooms they visited until Han found them again.

“All set.” The older man said. “Your mother has a meeting. Let me show you to your place.”

Ben gave her a look, “And so it begins.”

Han’s shoulders tensed when he noticed Ben’s look. “It is not like that. It will be different this time.” The older man said confidently.

“We will not be here to see the disintegration that will happen in a few months.” He thought. Rey frowned but remained quiet and focused on the door in front of her. “4C” It read.

“These will be your quarters. Your mother and I will be in 3C.” Han continued.

“The old apartment then.” Ben replied as they made their way inside. Rey was taken aback when she saw the place. It was beautiful and clean and sunny. There was a view of the parks and pools around the building. It was breathtaking.

Rey walked around. They had two rooms, a living room, a fresher and there was big window with a sort of seating space. Rey would have to ask Ben about it. It was furnished. She went into what appeared to be the main bedroom and opened the closets and drawers. There were clothes for her and Ben.

He jumped into bed and patted the space next to him. Rey smiled a little shyly but joined him nonetheless. He smiled, a genuine one, not one of his little smirks or quirky mouth things. “We will not stay here long sweetheart just enough to get credits and get away from here.”

Rey frowned and nuzzled his chest. “Let’s stay for a bit longer. I want to see Finn and Poe again.” She sensed annoyance when Poe’s name came up.

“I have a good feeling about this place.” She said as she tried to count his moles once more. She gave up when Ben decided that he wanted to kiss her throat and found her pants bothersome.

“I want you.” His eyes were filled with desire. Rey mirrored his need and helped him get out of his pants too. They were naked from the waist down. Ben played with her underwear and then circled her button. Rey felt herself become wetter when he moaned and pinched her thigh. He wanted inside and she knew it. Rey sat up and undid her top. He kissed her mouth and lifted his arms so she could pull his shirt off. They were skin to skin once more. Rey smiled and caressed his hair. Ben pushed her to the bed and touched her folds. He fingered her and made her feel on fire. She was hot, sweaty and her legs felt tingly. She needed friction on her center and used her fingers to roll over her button.

Ben grabbed her breasts and squeezed them almost painfully but Rey did not care. She wanted him to pound into her. Ben did; he mounted her and took her hard. Rey’s legs wrapped around his waist as her toes curled with pleasure. She met him thrust by thrust and loved when he whispered how good she felt around him. Rey grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. She bit his lips when she came. Ben moaned and spilled into her quickly.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21

Chandrila was beautiful. Ben sat by the window and looked out to the city. It had been almost a year since the New Republic established itself once more.

Rey was asleep; she had come late last night. Her friends were finally back after capturing rogue First Order officials and allies. She had been very excited to receive the call from his father. Han resumed his role as commander and general of their fleets. Rey had taken to follow Han and learn about ships and missions. Ben did not like it at all; she did not go on missions because his father did not go on any. He was keeping his promise and stayed on planet.

Ben remembered the early days back. He was aimless and wanted to leave Chandrila with Rey as soon as possible but Rey wanted to stay so they did. She found that ships were her thing immediately and followed Chewie and Han. Ben was not so lucky; sure he was a fair pilot. He liked the Falcon and spending time with Rey and the engines but flying ships did not bring him the joy that he saw in Rey’s or his father’s eyes. Rey and his father worked on the Falcon one day and honestly Ben grew bored. He decided to walk back to the Senate building. As expected Ben saw less of his mother every day. It was a matter of time before his father called him and told him they could not do dinner with them. That was another strange yet comforting development. His parents insisted on dinner with him; he of course brought Rey every time. It was a shock to see his old apartment. His mother left his childhood room unchanged. It was eerie to be there and looked at his old things. Rey was fascinated by the place and almost burst with joy and excitement when his mother brought out old photo albums. Leia had hundreds of pictures of him. Rey and her spent weeks looking over them.

He reflected on that afternoon; when he saw his mother at a meeting in the Senate and could not help but understand her a little bit more. She addressed the galaxy’s most powerful delegates and asked for mercy on the galaxy. She wanted to implement different programs for defected storm troopers; education for the poorest of the systems. Leia reminded them that the darkest periods in their history rose out of social injustices and crimes such as slavery. Ben stayed back and watched as her mother spoke about injustices and asked for unity in these times. He followed her out of amphitheater.

“Mother.” He called out. Leia Organa-Solo stopped and the officials around her stopped as well.

“Ben, sweetheart. Is something the matter?” She came closer to him and caressed his face. His mother always touched him now as if afraid that he would vanish.

“Nothing.” He said while making eye contact with a young officer. His mother noticed and subtly dismissed her entourage.

“But senator you have a meeting in ten minutes.” Kaydel squeaked.

“She will be there I assure you.” Ben grew impatient and he did not know what to do about it.

They were finally alone in that corridor when Ben understood what he wanted to do. “I am aimless.”

“Sweetheart, it is perfectly normal to feel that way. You and Rey helped defeat the First Order. You need time to figure out what you want to do.” She said comfortingly.

Ben had had a moment of realization then. He would not go off and travel the galaxy with Rey. Their place was here; at least his place was here. Kylo Ren destroyed entire villages looking for Skywalker. He dreamed of all that every night. Maybe, just maybe if he worked towards building it would lessen the burden.

“I want to work for you in the senate.” He said carefully. He expected sad eyes and excuses as to why Kylo Ren could not work with the new Republic. His mother smiled instead. “of course. Nothing too obvious though sweetheart. I have just the place for you. How would you like to run the re-housing of refugees here in Chandrila? You would have to meet with me every week and attend a senate hearing once a week as well.”

Ben frowned, “I was thinking of a job with less importance. I don’t think I should be in charge of anything.” His mother shook her head.

“Sweetheart. We need people like you. You are smart, educated and understand how to run things. We need all the help we can get.” His mother said with a smile. She was excited by the prospect of him working. Ben realized he wanted to do his best too.

He began his work with the refugees and he loved the work. Ben threw himself into the project. He was in charge of four other people. He quickly understood that his division needed to work towards reunification, reintegration and rebuilding. The first goal was for refugees to have shelter. Ben and his team were given three buildings to place people. Many needed to find their families. He worked with his teams to locate and reunite families. The team then helped the adults find work and placed the children in schools. He found with pleasure that the families usually found jobs and left the centers within a month. Ben was proud of his work and felt that his mother was also very happy with his work. Ben was out of a job after four months. He was repurposed as part of his mother’s team to work on planet diplomatic relationships.

Ben’s only request was that he stayed on planet and be made aware of any trips so that Rey could come with him. They traveled twice to outside systems to establish business relationships to further economic growth. Ben was extremely successful despite his lack of social skills as his father put it. They found that Ben was determined and could argue points of treaties until the delegates were blue in the face or so tired they would concede. He became more involved in Chandrila’s government and news trickled to all the galaxies that Ben Solo would continue his mother’s work. Ben had no wishes to do so. He found that power was not a priority anymore. His mother’s “legacy” did not appeal to him as much as doing his job well. The public however continued to link him as a future Senator.

Ben feared that someone would recognize him as Ren. He explained to his mother that he wanted to step back. “Absolutely no.” She replied almost aggressively.

“You are good at this. I know you do not want it but it is what you are good at. You love this.” She replied.

“Someone could find out. It would be disastrous.” He appealed.

Leia Organa frowned, “everyone knows you destroyed Snoke. The galaxy believes Ren died at your hand and he did.”

Ben nodded, it was the end of their discussion.

The press continued to be interested in him. A media outlet from the middle rim called him Ben Organa Solo. His father had a resigned face. Ben called the media outlets and let the press know that his name was Ben Solo. His father sported a huge smile every time he saw him. His mother smiled gently at him. She knew that Ben wanted his father to be proud of him and the fact that he carried his name and his legacy as well.

So he followed his mother around and helped as much as he could. He worked and had Rey. His partner. She was his everything. Rey was patient and calmed him. They loved each other very much and understood their flaws. Ben continued to have nightmares and Rey comforted him. Ben understood Rey’s need to make sure that they always had food at home and her anger when he forgot to bring groceries or threw perfectly good food. Rey was heaven for him. They rarely fought but it was hell when they did.

He remembered their first ugly fight. It ended up in a screaming match and things breaking around them. It was stupid and they both lost control so much so that his mother came up to their apartment and knocked on their door. It was because Rey wanted to leave for a few days to meet Poe and Finn at some off base planet. His work with the refugees had ended by then. He refused to let her go. Rey narrowed her eyes, “you don’t have a say. I am going.”

“You are not going.” He said while narrowing his own eyes and raising his voice.

They yelled at each other for an hour and then a vase by him broke. Ben broke a table by her side. Two could play the game.

His mother concernedly knocked. Ben dismissed her after reassuring her that everything was fine. Rey packed her bag. Ben remained in their living room. He joined her in bed late at night and was stiff. He said the words out loud. “I don’t want to lose you.”

Rey turned to face him. “I love you. I will never leave you.” She said tenderly and hugged him. Rey went away for two weeks and he almost went crazy with longing. He worked every day and late into the nights because he missed her so much.

Rey came back and threw herself at him. “Did you see your friends?” He asked her after they had sex and she was tired.

“Only Finn. Rose and Poe were off base. I’m never leaving you for so long.” She kissed his chest over and over.

He laughed and kissed her until he was breathless.

Ben smiled at the memory. He felt her wake up. Rey then came to her spot by the windowsill. She kissed him and then sat between his legs.

“How are your friends?” He asked her while burrowing his hands inside her sleeping shirt. It was one of his old ones.

“Fine, Rose and Finn are together now. Poe is very happy to be back as well.” She said as they saw the bustle outside.

Ben kissed her head, “what are you doing today?” he asked her and kissed her neck then.

“I am going to work with Han on repairing some ships and then coming here to get ready.” She said while massaging his hair.

Ben stopped kissing her neck, “Get ready for what?” He asked a little confused and perhaps scared that her friends would now hog her to themselves.

“The first year anniversary of the New Republic.” She said and turned, “Leia sent an invitation three weeks ago. It has been in your calendar for seven weeks now. Ben rolled his eyes. He was against the celebration in the first place. His mother wanted a medal ceremony, followed by plaques and whole day celebrations. He convinced her to have a remembrance ceremony on the day of the First Order base attacks and that happened a week before. He could not convince her to forgo celebrations. So they compromised on a party.

Ben frowned, “Fine.” He said and yawned. Rey smiled at him. “There is going to be music and dancing; you love that.”

Ben stood up and picked her up. “I love dancing alone with you.” He attacked her neck and run with her to bed. Rey laughed when he tickled her.

She kissed him and pushed him to stay still in bed. He smiled when she kissed his belly button and then lower. Rey licked him and hallowed her cheeks like he loved. Ben was a mess when she played with his balls. His Rey knew how to put him in a good mood. “Shower?” She said innocently.

Ben shook his head and returned the favor. He licked his lips and kissed her forcefully. The man lowered his lips and kissed the valley of her small breasts. He then paid some attention to her navel and mound. Ben softly touched her folds and finger her from slit to clit. She squirmed but her held her legs and dove to lick her clit. She mewled; Ben loved her noises and the feel of her around his face. She came and he licked her over and over until she begged him to stop. “Too much Ben, too much.”

He was hard and sat back. Rey looked like she wanted to eat him. She turned and got on all fours. She wanted hard and fast. Ben would give her that; he slid inside her without any problems and set a fast pace he pumped steadily while Rey moaned and grabbed the sheets. He grabbed her tight little ass and squeezed. He realized that he wanted to see her face. Ben pulled out and asked her to turn around. He loved taking her like this. He kissed her and slid home once more. He slowed his pace and came while she smiled. He kept pumping until he saw her eyes round and that little surprised “oh” in her face. She came and tightened her hold on his lower back. Ben found his place by her neck and rested there.

“Don’t fall asleep.” She mumbled.

Ben was sated and nodded. “I won’t.” but he did and she did too. They spent half the afternoon sleeping.

Rey woke up before him. “Shit. Your father left me a message. He repaired the Atheen by himself.” She was grumpy. Ben kissed her pout.

“What time is it?” He rasped and held her close.

“6:00PM.” He yawned.

“Shower.” She said.

“No.” He tried to go for her left tit.

Rey stopped him and grabbed his face. “I am going to shower and you have to get up from this bed and find your suit.”

“Mom said it was semiformal.” He rubbed his eyes.

Rey frowned, “you are not wearing jeans or senator robes. Find it and get ready to shower.”

“I could shower with you.” He called and walked behind her. He tried pushing her into the shower. She laughed. “No, go find your clothes.”

Ben found the black suit he liked. His mother forced him to buy three. His father and him suffered with Leia through a whole morning of clothes shopping. His mother and Rey went shopping by themselves. Rey was very happy with the outing and came back home with at least thirty bags of things. Ben decided to wear a green shirt and a black tie. The shoes were there somewhere. He waited for Rey to come out of the shower.

She left the bathroom in a towel. “I am clean. Go shower.” She pushed him inside the fresher before he could try to convince her to undo her towel.

He showered and dressed quickly. Ben combed his hair. He sat on the bed and watched as Rey played with her face. Make up was another of his mother’s ideas. Rey and her spent hours doing make up after baby Ben pictures were all seen.

Ben grew bored. “Are you done?” He asked her after ten minutes.

“No, go away.” She warned.

“Fine.” He said and walked out of their apartment. Ben found his father pacing up and down the corridor. He also wore a black suit but his shirt was white.

“Rey threw you out did she not?” His father chuckled.

Ben nodded, “I only asked her if she was ready.”

Han rolled his eyes, “your mother is working on her hairdo.”

His father looked jumpy, “what is the matter?”

“I’m asking your mother to marry me again.” He said hesitantly.

Ben nodded, “ok.”

“Do you think she’ll say yes?” Han looked stressed.

“I don’t see how she would say no.” Ben replied honestly.

Han smiled, “yes. She loves me and I love her. Maker, do I love that woman.”

Ben smiled softly. “I better go and see if she’s ready.” His father left him then.

Rey walked out of their apartment. She wore a beautiful green dress that matched his tie. She looked stunning, her hair was longer and worked her hair into a braided bun style.

“Ready handsome.” She said and offered her hand.

They walked to the ballroom before Leia and Han got there. Finn and Rose were there already. Rose looked pretty on a silver dress. Finn wore a black suit like him and as did Poe who chatted happily with Kaydel who wore a very fitted red dress. He could tell that Rey wanted to go mingle with her friends.

“Go, I will join you in a little bit.” He said and headed for the bar.

Truth be told Ben did not have friends per se. He had work associates and Kaydel who was annoying but smart. She liked him as a work associate and maybe more. She batted her eyelashes and invited him for drinks. Ben never failed to refuse. He was quiet about his private life. All his co-workers knew was that he lived in the Senate building with his parent. He did not disabuse anyone of that misconception. His private life was his. Rey often joked when Kaydel told her how handsome and mysterious he was.

Rey had not told anyone that they were together either. The important people knew; his parents. He was surprised that no one had figured out that they lived together. He nursed some drink at the bar and looked at Rey with her friends. Kaydel and Rose laughed alongside with her. Finn kissed her cheek. Ben felt a brief twinge of jealousy. Ben focused on something else. He saw Dameron by the bar.

“Hey.” The man said jovially. He wore a dark suit too with a pink shirt and a black tie.

Ben was a little surprised that Poe would seek him out. “Hey.” He replied.

“I hear you are working with the General now.” The man continued while ordering drink for his table.

“I hear you are back.” Ben replied.

“I am.” The pilot smiled from ear to ear.

“Good for you.” Ben concluded the conversation.

Poe was not deterred. “Hey, come by our table, sit with us.”

Ben was about to roll his eyes when he felt Rey’s disappointment. She wanted him to come to her table and talk to her friends.

“I’ll help you with the drinks.” Ben offered and grabbed three drinks from Poe.

“Thanks man.” Dameron smiled at him.

They walked the short distance to the table in silence.

“Everyone look at who I found by the bar. Rey you remember Ben. Kaydel has told us all about him.” Dameron said as he distributed drinks. Ben knew the pink fruity one was Rey’s and handed it to her. Rey smiled at him.

Dameron sat by her side while Finn sat on the other side. Rose sat by Finn’s other side. So that left the seat by Kaydel. He handed her the drink.

“Is that a force thing?” Kaydel asked when she got her yellow drink.

“Excuse me.” He was a little confused.

Kaydel giggled, “you gave me and Rey our drinks without asking.”

Ben smirked, process of elimination he wanted to say. “We could call it that.”

Kaydel smiled at him and began talking about work while Rey, Dameron and Finn talked about missions. Rose somehow got involved in their conversation.

“Rose is going to join Rey and your father.” Kaydel noted.

“Is that so? You are an engineer aren’t you?” Ben asked.

“I am.” Rose replied and told them about her role. “General Solo will place me to work on some oncoming ships.”

“Remember the ships we got from Corellia?” Kaydel asked.

“Yes, of course.” Their team worked for a week to get the ships and their cargo cleared. His father refused to let the goods out of the dockyards before personally inspecting the products and the ships. “Finally; my father has seen reason.” Ben was excited. He had plans for the products and the possible positive relationship with Corellia.

“Rose, I need you to work quickly.” He said and gave her a Solo smile as his mother put it. The smile worked on women. It worked on Rey, his mother, Amylin, Kaydel and the delegates at different cities.

Rose smiled back. “Of course Ben. All I can do to help.”

Kaydel joked with Rose. Ben listened and smiled appropriately. He was not overly talkative and nodded around when necessary. He spent an hour listening to different conversations around the table.

His parents arrived an hour and a half after he and Rey got to the party. His father looked utterly happy as did his mother who wore a navy blue dress and no braids but a bun. Ben did not want to know why they were so late. His parents sat with other generals and important people. Ben was glad that he was at this table and not over there. His father was making faces already and no Chewie to joke around.

The robots served their food. His mother and other officials gave some speeches and toasted their fallen. It was time for the dancing. Kaydel joined Dameron and many others in the dance floor. “Rey told me about your refugee initiative and the centers you helped build.” Finn said. His Rey looked so hopeful. Finn was her best friend; the first person who really cared.

“I did.” Ben replied.

“That was brave; there were many Stormtroopers in those programs.” Finn continued. Rose knew.

“I had to.” Ben continued. “I don’t think anyone recognized me.”

Finn shook his head, “no one would. They were all scared of you, we did not like to look at your mask.”

Rose intervened, “it is all in the past. It does not to help to talk about it any longer.” Rey nodded. “Does he know?” He thought to Rey.

“I told him yesterday.” Rey said aloud.

Ben nodded. “Poe does not know.” Finn continued. “I cannot say I am happy that you two are together but I expected it. I hear the way she speaks about you and I saw you following her after that party and knew that she stayed with you in the Falcon. It was only a matter of time.” The man said resigned.

Two laughing Kaydel and Dameron came back to the table. “More drinks.” Dameron gave him a Corellian whiskey. He handed Rey her fruity drink.

They talked about the old base and Paige; memories of her. Rose smiled and told nice childhood stories too. He liked Rose a lot. “So you two keep training still?” Dameron asked.

Rey shook her head, “Not anymore.” They did though; not as often as they liked but they tried training together every week at least once. Ben liked to use the Senate’s roof for that. He trained her just in case anything happened. It also kept him at peace.

“Now that was a spectacle if I ever saw one.” Kaydel said and winked at him. Ben sensed annoyance from Rey. He felt a little uncomfortable.

Rose saved the conversation and steered the conversation somewhere else. “I assume you and Finn will live together now.” Kaydel said.

“We are.” Finn smiled from ear to ear.

Dameron grinned too. “That leaves me roommateless. I was living with this one for over a year. I need a change in scenery.”

Rey and Kaydel laughed as did Rose. “I thought I could bunk with you Rey.” He said lightly.

Ben frowned and Rey shook her head, “I don’t think so. My roommate would not like to share.” Dameron looked confused as did Kaydel.

“You don’t have a roommate. If you had one, I would be your roommate.” Kaydel said while laughing. “Just tell our old boy no.” She said jokingly.

Dameron gave her a winning smile. “I would be a good roommate. It would be fun. We could have late night talks. You know I like you. What do you say? give me a chance.” He said chuckling.

Rey smiled tightly. “It will not be possible.”

Dameron was determined. “How come? Do you have a boyfriend now?” The man looked a little concerned.

“Yes, I am living with Ben.” She gave him a luminous smile.

The pilot frowned but tried to recover quickly. “How long?” Kaydel recovered far more quickly.

Ben decided to chime in, “Since before the First Order fell.”

Finn tried to look surprised, “wow, you guys. That’s… that’s great.” He said nervously. Rose nodded.

Kaydel and Dameron were awfully quiet. Ben knew that Dameron wanted Rey but he was surprised by Kaydel’s reaction.

“I want to dance.” Rose said and Finn stood up.

“I’d like that too.” Rey stood up and he followed her to the dance floor.

“That was uncomfortable.” She said as they danced to some ridiculous song that she liked. She still sported a smile.

“They know and I don’t feel bad for not telling Poe and Kaydel.” She did a twirl thing.

“When I dance they call me Macarena
And the boys they say que soy buena
They all want me
They can't have me
So they all come and dance beside me
Move with me
Chant with me
And if you're good, I'll take you home with me
Move with me
Chant with me
And if you're good, I'll take you home with me
Dale a tu cuerpo alegría Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegría why cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegría, Macarena
Hey Macarena.”

“You have to do the dance moves.” Rey said as she danced close to him. Ben shook his head but grabbed her hips as she jumped and flailed her arms.

“You are utterly ridiculous.” He laughed and danced with her. Dameron forgotten when she kept dancing and smirking at him.

They danced a couple of songs before going back to their table.

Ben heard some of the conversation that immediately changed as soon as they sat down.

“Doesn’t change the fact that you knew Finn.” Dameron said with a hint of anger.

“I was not sure. Me telling you about a suspicion I had would not have changed anything.” Finn replied.

“We’re back.” Rey said loudly and sat down by Ben this time.

Dameron looked at them both. “I want to apologize for the comments earlier. I obviously did not know about you two.” He said quickly.

“Nothing to apologize for.” Rey said with a sunny smile and offered to get more drinks for the table. Kaydel went with her as did Finn.

Ben tried to not dwell on the uncomfortable situation and remained quiet.

Kaydel came back and asked Poe to dance. They danced and looked to be arguing softly.

Ben did not care. The night continued and people around him got drunker. Ben could tell that his Rey was on her way past tipsy into drunken. Dameron was definitely drunk as was one Rose Tico.

Kaydel smiled tipsy too and pulled the pilot for another dance. Rey sat by him and pecked his lips.

“I love this song come on.” She pulled him to the dance floor once more.

Ben followed her and almost lost it when she whispered lightly by his ear. “I want you to fuck me.”

 

“Yeah, uh
Tell me what you really like
Baby I can take my time
We don't ever have to fight
Just take it step-by-step
I can see it in your eyes
'Cause they never tell me lies
I can feel that body shake
And the heat between your legs

She put her arms around his neck and he caressed her back as they swayed to the song. She was intoxicating.

Ben whispered something and smirked when she flushed and her eyes filled with desire.

“I’m going to fuck you against our kitchen table.” He rasped.

Rey turned and ground her back against his erection. He wanted to hitch her dress and touch her there. He knew she was wet and needed much pressure on her clit. He could see her spread out against the wood, begging for him to fuck her.

“You've been scared of love and what it did to you
You don't have to run, I know what you've been through
Just a simple touch and it can set you free
We don't have to rush when you're alone with me
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
You are not the single type
So baby, this the perfect time
I'm just trying to get you high
And faded off this touch
You don't need a lonely night
So baby, I can make it right
You just got to let me try
To give you what you want
You've been scared of love and what it did to you
You don't have to run, I know what you've been through
Just a simple touch and it can set you free
We don't have to rush when you're alone with me
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
You've been scared of love and what it did to you
You don't have to run, I know what you've been through
Just a simple touch and it can set you free
We don't have to rush when you're alone with me
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you feel right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you feel right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe (I know what you feel right now)
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, babe
I feel it coming, babe.”

Rey tortured him for three minutes. “Let’s go home.” She said and licked her lips.

“Get your purse.” He growled.

Ben waited for her outside and saw his parents get out of the building. His mother was giggling and his father’s hands were places Ben did not want to think about.

“I am going to rock your world sweetheart.” His father said as they passed him.

Ben’s erection wilted quickly. He thanked the stars that his parents did not see him. He went back inside the building to find Rey.

Poe and Kaydel were kissing passionately, so much for the pilot’s vested interest in Rey.

Rey stumbled to him. “My own Aldeeran Prince.” She said drunkenly. Ben smirked. “I knew you were with me because of my family and connections.”

His partner grinned and kissed him. “You are one drunk ship mechanic.” He said and kissed her neck. She was also one horny mechanic who revived his erection as they walked back to the senate headquarters. Rey’s eyes cleared as the night air hit her. She was even more determined to touch him and have her way with him.

They made it to their quarters. Rey undid his tie and kissed his neck. He carried her towards the bedroom.

“No, no.” She said quickly.

Ben was confused for a second and stopped. “You said the table.” She bit his lower lip.

Ben growled and placed her on the table. The man kissed her hard and then fingered her. “You’re soaked.”

“Pull the panties aside and fuck me.” She bit his earlobe.

Ben liked drunk Rey. He pumped inside of her and loved when she squeezed her legs and tried to claw at his abdomen. She came with a harsh little moan and seemed to pass out. He finished quickly and picked her up. She whined and shed off her clothing as did he. Ben kissed her shoulder blade and hugged her a little before passing out himself.

He woke up to her mumbling and kissing his chest. “Don’t let me drink like that again.” She moaned and nuzzled his chest.

“What time is it?” She asked. Rey was a morning person even after a night of partying and drinking.

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” He replied and hid his face next to her pillow.

“Don’t fall asleep. We’re going to the pools with your parents. They want to tell us something. Your mother called earlier and specifically told me to be ready by 11:00AM. We’re using speeders.”

“No.” Ben was sleepy and it was Sunday. He wanted to stay in bed all day and eat leftovers from the week.

“Get up and shower.” She said and stood up. Ben looked at her bottom clad in a shorts. She did say the pools.

Ben went to the bathroom and showered. He had a slight headache. He grumbled to the bedroom and put on his underwear and black shorts and a grey undershirt. Rey was ready and by the door. “We don’t have time for breakfast.”

This further soured Ben’s mood. “I don’t even know why we’re going. I can tell you right now. They’re going to renew their vows or something.”

Rey smiled. “You are going to be nice Ben.” She said and tiptoed to kiss him. She did not wear heels this time.

“Fine.” He mumbled and grabbed the bag she prepared with their things. Rey learned from Leia that it was nice to bring sunscreen, towels and a change of clothes when going to the pools.

His parents were all smiles as they got on their speeder. Rey drove his; Ben had no intention of doing any work.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22

Rey loved the pools. She liked Chandrila and had no intentions of ever leaving. She was finally happy and belonged to a family. She worked with Han, had Leia to help her with things and above all she had Ben.

Her wonderful Ben who was being annoying and rude to his parents. She kissed his hand and undressed until she was in a bikini. “Come with me to the water.”

Ben nodded seriously. Her Ben was grumpy because he did not get to sleep in. She would change that.

They got into the water and she splashed him. Ben frowned but did not reach out for her. She splashed more water and then he went for her and smiled when she giggled and tried to swim away from him. They spent about forty-five minutes in the water and then She jumped on his back so that he could carry them back to Han and Leia who had food for them.

She rested her face on his shoulder until they reached his parents. “What’s to eat?”

Han handed her a sandwich. Ben took a juice and another three sandwiches. Rey squeezed water out of her hair and sat by Leia.

They made small talk until Han spoke. “We’re getting remarried.” He said and kissed a smiling Leia.

Rey grinned widely, “Congratulations.” She hugged both of them.

Ben smiled and hugged them too. “When is the wedding?”

“Next September.” Leia said happily. “We will get married here.” She said and smiled.

“I thought you would like to do a ceremony in the Senate buildings by the courts.” Ben said as he looked for more food.

Han raised an eyebrow. “No, this place is special. We were married here and I’m pretty sure we made you over there.” Han pointed to a little place off the shore.

Ben frowned while his mother laughed. “You two are disgusting.”

Leia laughed harder and kissed Han. “No, we’re in love and I’m pretty sure he was made in the Falcon.”

“Stop it.” Ben scowled. Rey laughed and kissed his hand.

Rey would remember that day fondly for years to come. She was truly happy that night when Ben asked her if they should marry.

“Do you want to marry me?” He asked late that night after they made love. Rey smiled and sent him such love through their link.

Rey sighed and turned to look at him. “I would marry you in a heartbeat but let your parents have their wedding first.”

Rey got up to work the next morning and joined Han who looked ecstatic. “It will be simple, not like last time. Leia and I are older we do not need all that fanfare again.”

The republic disagreed and so did Ben. Rey got home three months after the announcement of the wedding and watched as Ben poured over papers at home.

“Their wedding is going to be a massive event.” Ben said as he showed her the plan for the place and who was invited to the event.

Rey worried her lower lip, “your parents are going to be disappointed.”

Ben shook his head and kissed her forehead, “my innocent scavenger. This is what they aimed for. Don’t let them fool you.”

She frowned, “they said a quiet affair.”

Ben smiled condescendingly. “My parents live to be the center of attention. My dad is a daring pilot and my mother is the figure of the rebellion. They are good people but they both suffer from public eye infatuation.”

Rey contradicted him but had to swallow her words when the wedding arrangements came to fruition. It would be a beautiful wedding. Rey put on her lilac dress and waited for Kaydel to come and do her make up. Rose and her would trust the girl.

Rose chose to wear a blue dress while Kaydel opted for olive green. They all wore short dresses. “You are going to look beautiful.” Kaydel said. She was with Poe now and forgot about Ben and her little crush as she called it.

Rey thanked whoever was out there that these girls liked her and spent time with her. Ben did not like sharing her but he at least tried to be civil to her friends whenever they went out or met. Ben liked Rose. She could tell; he would be less annoyed when she said that Rose would join them.

Rey was ready when Ben reappeared. Her partner looked dashing in his suit and braids. His mother insisted on them. Rey loved them.

“Good morning ladies.” He said. “We have to go. My father is there with uncle Chewie and my mom is driving herself crazy.” Ben would walk her down the aisle to his father. Rey would sit in the first row and watch happily as they married again.

Rey looked at Leia; “you look beautiful.” Rey said as she contemplated Leia who wore a white dress and a different hairstyle. “Thank you dearest but don’t you think I look silly?”

“I think dad is going to die when he sees you.” Ben said and gave his mother his arm. “Shall we?”

Leia smiled, “you are sweet Bennie. I used to wear my hair like this. I wanted your father to remember me like I was when I was younger.”

“He loves you so much.” Rey said and felt some tears. It was silly but she was so happy for Leia and Han.

Rey saw Han who wore a suit and had Chewie by his side. The Wookie greeted her. She waved at him happily.

Han looked thunderstruck when Leia and Ben walked to him. “You look beautiful.” He said and kissed Leia’s hands.

The ceremony was a bit long and the vows were beautiful. Leia went first, “Years ago when we had our son. You said you could never be mad at me because I gave you the greatest gift. I want to thank you because you gave me our Ben back three years ago. Han I have loved you passionately to the point of hating you at times. You infuriate me and at the same time I cannot imagine myself without you. I love you simply; unequivocally.”

Han grinned, a young grin that made him look very handsome very much like her Ben. “Sweetheart, you and Ben are the best thing that ever happened to me. I have always run away but you were the first person that made me want to stop. Leia, I have loved you for more than thirty years and I want to love you for all the rest of my days.”

They kissed gently. Rey had tears in her eyes. She felt Ben soothe her with his calm presence. It was a joyous occasion.

Han and Leia opened the floor with a beautiful and old song.

“It's now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It's now or never
My love won't wait.
When I first saw you
With your smile so tender
My heart was captured,
My soul surrendered
I'd spend a lifetime
Waiting for the right time
Now that your near
The time is here at last.
It's now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It's now or never
My love won't wait.
Just like a willow,
We would cry an ocean
If we lost true love
And sweet devotion
Your lips excite me,
Let your arms invite me
For who knows when
We'll meet again this way
It's now or never,
Come hold me tight
Kiss me my darling,
Be mine tonight
Tomorrow will be too late,
It's now or never
My love won't wait.”

Han made faces and smirked while Leia laughed delightedly when he wiggled his eyebrows.

Ben laughed and danced with her too. He was happy and she was the happiest she’d ever been.

Ben rested his head on the pillow and kissed Rey’s collarbones. “Do you think they liked their wedding?” Rey asked him lightly.

“They loved it.” Ben said. He knew they had. His parents were now in route to a water planet off the outer rim for a second honeymoon. He was happy for them.

“I don’t want a ceremony Ben.” She said a little fearful.

Ben smiled, “we don’t have to have one.” He said lightly.

“I love you so much but I don’t want this circus.” She said. “It was fun, but could have fun at parties and other events.”

Ben kissed her lips, “I agree.”

“So you are not mad?” She asked and kissed his cheek.

“Why would I be? We are joined by something infinitely more powerful than a ceremony. We were meant to be one by the Force.” Ben meant his words and kissed her some more.

He was at peace with her and his parents. The man faced nightmares often but he had Rey. She was his solace and the truest best thing in her life. He lived to see her smile, to hear her laugh and loved the way she saw the good in him before he could see it.

“I love you more than anything Ben.” She kissed down his chest.

“I love you too.” He rasped and grabbed her thigh while he found a good position to enter her. They made love slowly and with all the tenderness.

They were a mess of limbs. Rey was sound asleep on top of him. Ben was not perfect and he was still scared of what the future could hold for him. He was however less fearful when Rey was by his side. He smiled and thanked his father for rescuing him. Ben was happy, the happiest he’d been since he was four and the realization was amazingly beautiful and terrifying for him.

“You think too loud. I love you and I always will. Now get back to me and sleep my love.” His Rey kissed his chest and Ben rested much easier.