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Who Authorized This?

Chapter Text

Iidad added plain jane, ochahoe, and 17 others to CLASS 1A!


Iidad: Hello everyone! I have made this group chat so that we can all keep in contact!


StaticShock: cheers bro I’ll drink to that


Iidad: I do hope that it is water you are talking about!


StaticShock: u can’t control me dad


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: this is already going downhill


BubblegumBitch: nah this’ll be fun!


plain jane: I think this will turn out great!


bakuhoe: not likely Deku


ochahoe: c’mon Bakugou! I’m sure it’ll be fine!


oneokrock: im already curious ab why u two have matching names


ochahoe: no one else would put hoe in their name :( but I got Bakugou to so we match!


StaticShock: I see hanging around us for over a year has softened u Bakubroskie


bakuhoe: how about u shut the fuck up sparky :)


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: that is somehow so much more threatening than him yelling


oneokrock: Bakubro isn’t that threatening once u get used to him


BubblegumBitch: tru, at times it’s his way of showing affection


Yuzuru Hanyu: Bakugou was cooking and I heard him explode something and now I know why


oneokrock: it’s a good thing he got a special case made for his phone


Yuzuru Hanyu: he almost exploded the soba he was making for him and me


StaticShock: OwO what’s this?


ScotchTapeEtraordinare: OwO what’s this?


BubblegumBitch: OwO what’s this?


Tsuboo: you all are scarily in sync


plain jane: you got Kacchan to cook for you…?


Yuzuru Hanyu: He lost a bet about when Sero, Mina, and Kaminari would get together


oneokrock: he doesn’t go back on his word it’s pretty manly


ochahoe: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


bakuhoe: what’s that fucking face for round face


ochahoe: o nothing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Naked&Afraid: ooooh we got a group chat!


BubblegumBitch: Tooru, hun, your name has me dying


Naked&Afraid: I think it’s pretty fitting since you kno...until they can figure out how to sew my hair into a material I can wear I’m on my own


Gothbirb: what a mad banquet of darkness


Naked&Afraid: I suppose so


Bill Nye: can someone please tell me why Todoroki just came to my room to ask me to make a pot?


Hayley Kiyoko: scroll up babe


Bill Nye: oh I see now


Iidad: I will have to talk with Bakugou about destruction of property!


Albert Einstein: He cooks with his own pots so it shouldn’t be a problem


oneokrock: that’s true whenever he cooks for the squad he uses his own stuff and not the dorms


ochahoe: wait Bakugou actually cooks for you guys?!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yeah every week or so he makes us dinner


Hayley Kiyoko: huh the more you know I guess. Also Kiri nice name I see that ur a man of culture


oneokrock: thanks Jirou! I see ur a woman of culture


StaticShock: tru wlw an mlm solidarity right there folks


ochahoe: @ bakuhoe why don’t u ever cook for me??????!!!!!!!


bakuhoe: bc I don’t want to


ochahoe: what if I had some info that I could spill if u don’t


bakuhoe: u don’t got shit

PM ochahoe -> bakuhoe


ochahoe: ur bi ass has a huge crush on Todoroki



bakuhoe: what the fuck do u want to eat and when


Hayley Kiyoko: bitch what the fuck


StaticShock: Holy shit


ochahoe: :) curry tomorrow would be nice!


bakuhoe: Fine. As long as you get the ingredients


ochahoe: it’s a plan my man !!


Iidad: Please refrain from using blackmail!


Albert Einstein: I’m more concerned with what dirt she has that even Bakugou doesn’t want people to know about


ochahoe: let’s not worry about that!


plain jane: don’t let her bubbly personality fool you she has dirt on everyone


ochahoe: :)


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ok I am very terrified


Hayley Kiyoko: I don’t think she has dirt on me anymore but I am equally terrified


ochahoe: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


oneokrock: and with that it’s time to go to bed with nightmares


plain jane: you’re going to bed? I was gonna see if you wanted to watch a movie with me


oneokrock: we can watch it! I’m in the common room now so this way I won’t have to move plus it’s really not late!


plain jane: are you sure? We can always watch it tomorrow!


oneokrock: yup I’m sure! I could use a movie after being terrified by ochako!


plain jane: ok! I’ll be there in 5!




2 / 5 r single and pining


oneokrock: help


StaticShock: I’m not coming to crash ur movie date


BubblegumBitch: you shouldn’t worry so much! Just hang out like normal


ScothTapeExtraordinare: yeah exactly and take bakugou for example. Him and Todoroki chill with each other all the time and he’s fine


Bakuhoe: I want someone to murder me or let me murder them bc he makes eating soba look so adorable


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u kno what nvm



plain jane: Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggkugkjhbjnkhuygfrdtyujik


ochahoe: have fun on your date ;)))


Iidad: I am sure you will be fine!


ochahoe: my boys r growing up im so proud


Tsuboo: our kids are leaving the nest what will we do


ochahoe: we’ll have to find actual hobbies


Yuzuru Hanyu: You have a date?


plain jane: vljhbjvbkdhd it’s,,,not really a date we’re just watching a movie in the common room


Yuzuru Hanyu: in that case maybe Bakugou and I will join


Ochahoe: >:^(


Yuzuru Hanyu: ...or we’ll just go watch a movie in his room….


ochahoe: :^)

Chapter Text

2/ 5 r single and pining


BubblegumBitch: kiri how was ur date?


oneokrock: it wasnt really a date


BubblegumBitch: were u guys alone?


oneokrock: ...yes


BubblegumBitch: hmm interesting and u were watching a movie while sharing a blanket?


oneokrock: wh

                  How did u kno


BubblegumBitch: I didnt but now I do


StaticShock: Slick as fuck babe


BubblegumBitch: ;)


oneokrock: Im just gonna go on my morning jog


BubblegumBitch: ;)))


StaticShock: ;)))))


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ;))))))))))



ochahoe: soooo Midoriya how was ur date????


plain jane: it,,,wasn’t a date,,,but it was fine


ochahoe: I heard from a little birdy that u shared a blanket ;^)


plain jane: ...maybe so…


Iidad: I am glad you had fun Midoriya! But if I may suggest something?


plain jane: sure Iida what is it?


Iidad: Why not simply tell Kirishima how you feel?


plain jane: IIDA I CANT JUST DO THAT  


Tsuboo: Actually I don’t see why not. That’s what I did with Ochako.


ochahoe: <333


Tsuboo: <33333


plain jane: u kno what FINE ILL GO TELL HIM HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW




plain jane: …..


                 Hes wasnt in his room and my confidence is gone


Iidad: Next time for sure!


plain jane: I think I’m just gonna go do homework now


ochahoe: can Tsu and I join? We still need to finish the english homework


Iidad: Can I come as well?


plain jane: yeah of course!


ochahoe: nice I’ll be over in 5!



StaticShock: has anyone seen bakubro today? No one in the squad has


Hayley Kiyoko: nope sorry dude


StaticShock: huh weird


ochahoe: speaking of people, I haven’t heard from Todoroki all day either


plain jane: I haven’t heard from Todoroki or Shinsou today


BubblegumBitch: hmmmmmm interesting


ochahoe: @Yuzuru Hanyu where u be?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m just studying with Bakugou for the hero logistics test tomorrow




BubblegumBitch: cmon love even I knew that


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Press F to pay respects


BubblegumBitch: F


ochahoe: F


plain jane: F


Tsuboo: F


Yuzuru Hanyu: F


Albert Einstein: F


Naked&Afraid: F


oneokrock: F


Hayley Kiyoko: F


Bill Nye: F


bakuhoe: F


StaticShock: O COME ON


Yuzuru Hanyu: Shinsou you told me you were confused on some of the material. If you want to, you can join Bakugou and I.


Albert Einstein: sure. I’ll head over in a bit.


ochahoe: o? Studying together?


Yuzuru Hanyu: we do enjoy each other’s company. I’m pretty sure Bakugou considers us friends.


bakuhoe: y’all r quiet and actually work so I have no problem helping u


StaticShock: r u throwing shade at us rn?


bakuhoe: what, like it’s hard?


BubblegumBitch:  don’t quote legally blonde at me!


Naked&Afraid: Bakugou can quote legally blonde?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: it’s one of his favorite movies


bakuhoe: wow y’all really out here exposing me like this


Yuzuru Hanyu: what, like it’s hard?


bakuhoe: SH U T


ochahoe: o? What’s this? Our dear Todoroki has dirt on Bakugou?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I do


bakuhoe: dont


Yuzuru Hanyu: sent 1 image




Yuzuru Hanyu: He fell asleep on me when we watched a movie last night


BubblegumBitch: O?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: O?


StaticShock: O?


oneokrock: O?


bakuhoe: u ready to fucking die?!


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me!


Naked&Afraid: did they just meme together?


Albert Einstein: they do it all the time, especially w vines


bakuhoe: ur quoting vines rn as we’re studying


Albert Einstein: ….touche


StaticShock: will someone pls help me. I am begging my crops r dying


Bill Nye: Jirou and I are finishing up studying if you want me to help you!


StaticShock: i owe u my life


Bill Nye: I’m happy to help!



ochahoe: Todoroki u saved that pic as ur phone bg didn’t u


Yuzuru Hanyu: stop


ochahoe: why are you booing me? I am right!


Iidad: I do not see why you all simply can’t just tell these people how you feel!


plain jane: once u get a crush on someone then u will understand


Iidad: Not likely as I would just tell them!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Well I haven’t told him because I’m pretty sure that he likes Shinsou. I quite enjoy Shinsou’s company as well however, I do not think that Bakugou reciprocates my feelings. I would preferably like to date both of them but I don’t think they share the same feelings as me. I don’t want to make it awkward between the three of us.


plain jane: I know that both of them are fine with being in a polyamorous relationship if it makes u feel any better!


Tsuboo: How do you know that Bakugou is fine with that? Just curious


plain jane: Kiri and them apparently have to deal with Bakugou’s pining

                 WAIT NO IGNORE THAT



ochahoe: looks like the cat is out of the bag

               The beans have been spilled


Yuzuru Hanyu: I wonder who besides Shinsou Bakugou likes


ochahoe: ur so fucking dense o my god


Yuzuru Hanyu: ????


Tsuboo: Things will work out eventually don’t worry too much



StaticShock: Kiri, bro, pal, buddy, I have a question


oneokrock: ? what is it bro


StaricShock: how did u get the scar above ur eye


oneokrock: O well one night I woke up in the middle of the night and as I was rubbing my eye my quirk manifested! Luckily there was no serious damage to my eye tho. But why did u wanna kno?


StaticShock: idk I was just curious


ochahoe: this just in I’m marrying bakugou bc of his cooking skills


Tsuboo: me too


Hayley Kiyoko: I can’t believe his cooking is so good it turned Tsuyu straight


bakuhoe: damn right it’s that good, I’m the fucking best at cooking


plain jane: Kacchan used to cook all the time when he was little, he would always make his own lunches


bakuhoe: I know we patched up our relationship Deku but I will kill you.


plain jane: try me bitch


bakuhoe: What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.


plain jane: jhbfvnslvuygrsdkvjzlb


Hayley Kiyoko: it honestly surprises me how much of a fucking meme lord bakugou is because first year he seemed like the kind of guy to not know what the internet is


bakuhoe: I literally learned the basics of fighting from youtube


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: but why tho???


bakuhoe: I figured I would get a head start on being a hero


oneokrock: bro that’s so manly!


bakuhoe: speaking of, Shinsou be ready in 10. Aizawa asked me to check out ur moves to see if you can actually use them


Albert Einstein: alright I’ll meet u in the common room


2 / 5 r single and pining


bakuhoe: this is the day that i die


oneokrock: why don’t you just ask him out tonight while you’re alone?


bakuhoe: y don’t u just go ask out Deku right now?


oneokrock: dude that’s not fair!


bakuhoe: besides I want to date both of them and until I have more information on whether they would be ok with that then I’ll just suffer.


oneokrock: I heard from a lil someone that Todoroki is all for polyamory


bakuhoe: what? I can’t hear u over the sound of ur pining


oneokrock: r00d

Sleep? Don’t know her


Albert Einstein: catch me at my funeral later tonight lads


Gothbirb: o? A party?


Albert Einstein: ur all invited to my funeral party if I die


Yuzuru Hanyu: great the only party I’ve been invited to and he might not even die


plain jane: same


Albert Einstein: sorry to disappoint :/


Gothbirb: forget us for now and go, live ur best gay life


Albert Einstein: ah yes my best gay life. Getting the shit beat out of me by a very attractive explodey boi.


Yuzuru Hanyu: I mean that sounds like a good life to me


plain jane: pls take ur masochistic ass out of this good christian chat


Yuzuru Hanyu: o no,,,,what r u going to do,,,,,fifght me,,,,,


plain jane: u kno what nvm



BubblegumBitch: I just thought of something! We should know each other alignments!


Iidad: I am not following


BubblegumBitch: for an example, I’m a disaster pan!

                           and you would be a distinguished bi!


Iidad: I do not know what that means but thank you!


BubblegumBitch: hanta and denki are both disaster bis


StaticShock: wow babe calling me out like this


Hayley Kiyoko: It’s really not a call out if everyone knows


ochahoe: that truly is something a functional lesbian would say


Hayley Kiyoko: that’s something a functional bi would say


ochahoe: touche


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wait why am I a disaster


BubblegumBitch: you dropped a piece of toast once and then laid on the floor for a solid 10 min before picking it up and eating it anyway


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: That was one time!


BubblegumBitch: do u want me to list more out here in this good clean chatroom?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u kno what nvm


ochahoe: Todoroki looks like a distinguished gay but he’s actually a disaster gay


BubblegumBitch: hmmmm yes very true


Hayley Kiyoko: my gf looks like a distinguished lesbian and is a distinguished lesbian


ochahoe: no objections to that

               My gf (good frog) is a functional lesbian


Tsuboo: tru


ochahoe: wait mina what about the rest of the bakusquad?


BubblegumBitch: Kiri is a functional gay and surprisingly baku is a functional bi!


Hayley Kiyoko: I would have pegged Bakugou as a disaster


BubblegumBitch: I know it surprised me when I realized it too


ochahoe: it’s tru tho


bakuhoe: Shinsou and I take a break and I see this bullshit

                Of course I’m functional no way would I be a disaster


Albert Einstein: yeah u fucking fools I’m the disaster


ochahoe: see that isn’t suprising


BubblegumBitch: a true disaster pan


Albert Einstein: actually present mic is the true disaster pan


BubblegumBitch: O shit u right


Albert Einstein: mic is my disaster pan father and midnight is my disaster pan mother


StaticShock: damn must be difficult being raised by two whole disasters


Albert Einstein: I was actually raised by one (1) disaster pan and one (1) functional bi


StaticShock: O shit whomst


Albert Einstein: Aizawa is the functional bi


StaticShock: wh


BubblegumBitch: excuse me


Albert Einstein: they’re married u goddamn fools


ochahoe: !!!!!!!!!!


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m pretty sure at least half the class knew this already


ochahoe: im gonna need u to shut ur disaster gay self up for a moment so I can process this


BubblegumBitch: so what ur saying is

                            disaster pans and functional bis go well together?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: hmmmm interesting


bakuhoe: fuck off losers I have to fucking train this guy


ochahoe: ;^)


bakuhoe: no, stop that


ochahoe: ;^(


BubblegumBitch: back to business! But I guess we’ll have to @ the others cause they are never on :(


Gothbirb: wow rood I’m right here


BubblegumBitch: !!!


Gothbirb: u truly r a disaster


BubblegumBitch: I can’t really fight u bc ur a distinguished gay


plain jane: I’m on all the time Mina that hurts,,,,,


BubblegumBitch: IM SORRY

                           Wait ur a disaster gay so u can fight me


plain jane: :////


Naked&Afraid: I’m a functional bi!


BubblegumBitch: nice!


BubblegumBitch: @irlfurry get ur distinguished bi butt in here


irlfurry: I think myself to be a funtional bi actually


BubblegumBitch: no ur like on the edge but falling to distinguished


irlfurry: okay then


ochahoe: wait mido what r u doing ur not really responding


plain jane: me and kiri are playing video games!


ochahoe: o that explains why he’s not responding either then


plain jane: yup! It’s cause i’m absolutely slaughtering him!


ochahoe: hmmm interesting ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


plain jane: no


Ochahoe:  ( ͠° ل͜ °)


plain jane: wh

                 who authorized that

                 who thought it was a good idea to give u those


StaticShock: *sweats*


bakuhoe: I should have known but now I have to murder u


StaticShock: go back to instructing ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


bakuhoe: plan ur fucking funeral hoe


ochahoe : anyway!!! @The great british baking show is a funtional pan @nest is a distinguished gay @honhonbaguette is a disaster gay @^-^ is our one and only distinguished ace


The great british baking show: thats fair


honhonbaguette: I should be distinguished! What is this nonsense


BubblegumBitch: do u rly want to fight me yama?


honhonbaguette: cest la ve


BubblegumBitch: mhmm that’s what I thought


^-^: ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡


ochahoe: koda u r too good for this world <333


^-^: (〃ω〃)


BubblegumBitch: adorable


plain jane: those r the only authorized emoticons


ochahoe: wait why is that your name @nest ?


nest: ask Toko


Gothbirb: he,,is a good nest,,,,


ochahoe: pfffft that’s so cute


Gothbirb: I love my nest bf


nest: I love my bird bf


Gothbirb: <3


nest: <3


ochahoe: gay


Gothbirb: u have a whole gf


ochahoe: shit u right


Iidad: It is getting late so you should all be getting to bed!


ochahoe: huh I guess you’re right.

                Wait where’s bakuhoe and shinsou? Shouldn’t they be back by now?


bakuhoe: we were showering hoe, fighting makes u gross

                Im going the fuck to sleep

Sleep? Don’t know her


plain jane: hey shinsou how dead r u


Albert Einstein: :)))

   He’s,,,,,so muscular,,,,,he can bench press me and that’s a fact,,,,,


Yuzuru Hanyu: He does have one of the nicer bodies in our class


Albert Einstein: I mean so do u mr abs for days



plain jane: Todoroki is that you that’s burning?


Yuzuru Hanyu: maybe so

PM ochahoe -> bakuhoe


ochahoe: sooooo

               Shinsou too eh?


bakuhoe: I will make u dinner everyday this week if u shut the fuck up


ochahoe: thank u 4 buying my silence


Chapter Text



oneokrock: someone help I’m trying to sing high school musical I Don’t Dance and every time I sing the “I don’t dance” Bakugou sings back in the tone of cardi b “I make money moves” and I have had ENOUGH


Albert Einstein: does he rly have the moves tho


StaticShock: yes


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yes


BubblegumBitch: yes


oneokrock: yes


Albert Einstein: damn


StaticShock: I’m just gonna say this

                    Bakugou could realistically become a stripper easily


Yuzuru Hanyu: He has the body for it


Albert Einstein: so do u stfu


Yuzuru Hanyu: I

                        I mean you also have a nice body but I think you’re too good to simply be a stripper


plain jane: dhdjvvivivb Todoroki r u saying he’s sugar baby material


Iidad: Please no talk of that in here!


Albert Einstein: sorry dad


StaticShock: sent 1 image

                    Y’all motherfuckers dont kno bout my knife-knife


plain jane: did u just tape two knives together???


StaticShock: maybe


Yuzuru Hanyu: ???


StaticShock: sent 1 image

                    A KNIFE-KNIFE-SPOON


Yuzuru Hanyu: He just taped a spoon to the already taped together knives?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: he’s crying while cradling his creation

                                          Oh and now he’s trying to eat cereal with it


Iidad: Please be careful!!! Do not put knives near your mouths!!!


Albert Einstein: Why. Why the fuck do u have to warn them about this. Why is any of that happening


bakuhoe: it’s cause they’re idiots


StaticShock: stop calling me out like this  


bakuhoe: then make it more challenging


StaticShock: r00d


I won’t hesitate bitch


bakuhoe: what r u two losers doing right now


Albert Einstein: suffering


bakuhoe: besides that


Albert Einstein: talkin 2 u ;^)


Yuzuru Hanyu: nothing, why? Would you like to do something?


bakuhoe: I wanted to see if u wanted to watch this show that shitty hair has been telling me to watch

                Idk why he’s so into it it’s about dresses


Albert Einstein: what’s it called


bakuhoe: Say yes to the dress


                Is that u knocking on my door

               How did u get here so fast


Albert Einstein: open the fuck up bitch


Yuzuru Hanyu: well it started when I was a small child


Albert Einstein: what


                          I honestly can’t tell if u r memeing or not


Yuzuru Hanyu: :)

                         Anyway I’m on my way


PM bakuhoe -> oneokrock


bakuhoe: this is literally women tryin on wedding dresses I don’t understand the appeal


oneokrock: just give it like one episode


bakuhoe: Fine


oneokrock: well


bakuhoe: what the fuck why do they bring people in their party if they just gon bitch about every dress


oneokrock: So it begins




oneokrock: guess who successfully got baku into say yes to the dress


ochahoe: u absolute madman


BubblegumBitch: I can’t believe u actually got him


oneokrock: ;))))




Yuzuru Hanyu: I feel as if I’m reliving my life by watching the parents run these women’s fittings


BubblegumBitch: !!!!!

                            Todoroki ur watching too?!


Yuzuru Hanyu: So is Shinsou but apparently he’s watched all of them before so he’s laughing at our reactions


ochahoe: o? All together ? Just the three of u?


Yuzuru Hanyu: ....Yes?


ochahoe: ok just checking


Naked&Afraid: ooooo I wanna go to that store to get my wedding dress!!


BubblegumBitch: me too!!! Just imagine going in that store !!!


Bill Nye: I can say that it is quite the experience going in!


BubblegumBitch: You’ve been there?!


Bill Nye: I have! I went to help my cousin pick out a dress a year or so ago!


Tsuboo: That seems like such a good experience


Bill Nye: It was! I would love to go again!


StaticShock: babes when we get married can I pick out a dress from there bc c’mon who doesn’t want one


BubblegumBitch: we can both get a dress from there!!!!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’ll just sit there and tell u how good u both look the whole time <3


StaticShock: <3


BubblegumBitch: <3


ochahoe: wholesome


Albert Einstein: I want to see Bakugou work there for one (1) day


Yuzuru Hanyu: He keeps commenting on which dresses the brides should be looking for before the consultant thinks about it and he’s right every time


plain jane: it’s probably because his parents work in the fashion industry!


Albert Einstein: excuse me


plain jane: if I remember right his parents drag him to model clothing if they can’t find one in time or for last minute cancellations


bakuhoe: Deku I swear to god keep talking and see what happens


plain jane: I’m just saying! The pictures are good tho!


bakuhoe: anyone who gets nosy and wants to see them has to die first


plain jane: or


bakuhoe: dont fucking think about it if u value ur life


plain jane: it’s a sacrifice I must make

                 Sent 10 images




plain jane: I definitely don’t have blackmail folders on everyone that Uraraka help me make


ochahoe: ;)))


Iidad: What!!! Did!!! I!!! Say!!! About!!! Blackmail!!!


ochahoe: sry dad :^\


Yuzuru Hanyu: Bakugou just sprinted out of the room

                        I see why

                        I’m going to go stop him from committing murder cause Shinsou is too busy laughing to help


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: good luck with that


oneokrock: bakubro no


StaticShock: I am fucking SPOOKED

                    Bakuhoe chases Mido into the common room where the rest of the squad is and

                    Todoroki settled Baku down in record time by saying and I quote “I thought the pictures were quite cute try and calm down”


plain jane: that bitch broke


Tsuboo: YEET


bakuhoe: ur all dead to me


Yuzuru Hanyu: :(


bakuhoe: not u I guess


Albert Einstein: :(


bakuhoe: especially u


Albert Einstein: so fucking rood


bakuhoe: what r u gonna do fight me


Albert Einstein: no bc I know u would kick my ass but I do now have these pictures for blackmail


bakuhoe: friendship ended with Shinsou. Now Todoroki is my only friend


Yuzuru Hanyu: *slowly puts down the photos I was saving of u from those pics*


bakuhoe: nvm I don’t have any friends


oneokrock: I


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: am


BubblegumBitch: So


StaticShock: Hurt


bakuhoe: y’all don’t count u made me part of ur gang anyway


oneokrock: But u love us


bakuhoe: suddenly I can’t read I don’t know


Yuzuru Hanyu: wow the third smartest student can’t even read


bakuhoe: yeah what’s that say ab u fuckers


Yuzuru Hanyu: …..touché


plain jane: hey just dropped in to say I saw Uraraka being rly gay w her frog gf


ochahoe: it’s tru


Tsuboo: we are indeed gay


oneokrock: nice

Chapter Text



StaticShock: Iida I have a thought thats been plaguing my mind. Why is this chat named class 1a?


Iidad: We are known as class 1A despite being second years so I just thought I would leave it. I think of it as a reflection of our past hardships and accomplishments!

Plus I sometimes forget that we are now class 2A!


StaticShock: I mean that’s fair


ochahoe: that’s really sweet Iida!


Iidad: Thank you Uraraka!


ochahoe: also we r at the last day Baku is making me dinner and I am very sad


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’m still confused as to how u got him to do that


ochahoe: it’s a secret ;^)


BubblegumBitch: cmon lovie share!!!!


ochahoe: I will only tell u but I have to swear u to secrecy

PM ochahoe -> BubblegumBitch


ochahoe: u have to be sworn to not tell anyone bc then I lose my material


BubblegumBitch: of course!!! Now wht is ur secret


ochahoe: poor baku is very not trusting so whenever I mention spilling the beans about who he likes he caves even tho I could never do that to him


BubblegumBitch: that’s not fair the whole squad has to deal with his pining all the time!


ochahoe: it’s a good thing tho! He trusts you guys a lot!


BubblegumBitch: I know he’s come such a long way! I’m so proud of him!



bakuhoe: purple hair, after I make dinner Aizawa asked me to test u again so be ready at like 7


Albert Einstein: o? What’s this? R u asking me on a date?


bakuhoe: is it really a date if I’m kicking ur ass the whole time?


Albert Einstein: I’ll take what I can get tbh


BubblegumBitch: OwO what’s this? My boys are flirting?


Albert Einstein: hmmmm? Flirting? Dont kno her


ochahoe: sad


BubblegumBitch: sad


StaticShock: sad


plain jane: sad


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: sad


oneokrock: sad


bakuhoe: I will literally murder all of u


oneokrock: sure u will

       U love us


bakuhoe: Love ???? Don’t know her


oneokrock: hmmmmm seems fake but ok


bakuhoe: round face do u want dinner or not cause it’s ready


ochahoe: !!!!!! I’ll be there in a sec!!!!


Yuzuru Hanyu: He was flirting?


plain jane: Todoroki do u not know how flirting works?


BubblegumBitch: literally half this class doesn’t know how flirting works y’all r blind


Yuzuru Hanyu: I must be doing it wrong then I’ll try harder


ochahoe: o no honey it’s just who ur trying to flirt with are dense as rocks


Yuzuru Hanyu: oh okay

  Bakugou, Shinsou, I could help if you want


Albert Einstein: o? Adding to make this a date for three ;)) it’s fine with me but u better clear it with blasty mcsplode


bakuhoe: normally I would say yes but I know that u still have to do all the homework that was assigned to us today so no


Yuzuru Hanyu: ...Alright


Albert Einstein: I don’t see why he can’t come I like Todoroki


ochahoe: o?


Albert Einstein: yeah I like hangin out w him??? We’re good friends???


bakuhoe: fucking he has a shit ton of work to do

    If u wanna come next time u can ok

    Message me when ur done ur work and I can check over it if u want


Yuzuru Hanyu: ok I’d like that thanks. Don’t worry about it Shinsou I’ll come next time.



Yuzuru Hanyu: did I do something wrong? Is he trying to avoid me?


ochahoe: no no no not at all. Bakugou is like a mom when he shows his affection


Yuzuru Hanyu: hmmmm yeah u already lost me


plain jane: what she means is that when Kacchan cares about people he looks after them more than himself


Yuzuru Hanyu: I see

 So he’s not just trying to ignore me?


ochahoe: of course not! He cares about you which is why he wants u to do well in school! You don’t have any trouble with the physical aspect but Shinsou does and he needs help!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Alright. I guess it’s just me being a little jealous of the two of them together without me


ochahoe: that’s normal if u aren’t dating...I think? But if u do end up dating them both then will u still be jealous when they do things without u?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t think so? If we were to date I would be comfortable with them not being around me but I feel jealous because I have neither of them if that makes sense?


plain jane: so you’re just feeling insecure?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I suppose so?

Sleep? Don’t know her


Albert Einstein: wowowowow I’m ready to Die


Gothbirb: just tell him how you feel, free yourself from the burden that you carry


Albert Einstein: How about no


plain jane: that’s fair

      I still think you should tell him tho


Albert Einstein: hnnnnnnnnnnnn no


plain jane: if u tell him how you feel then I’ll tell Kirishima


Albert Einstein: honestly getting rejected in order for you to date someone who clearly reciprocates seems like a good choice, I’ll do it


plain jane: wait no


Albert Einstein: u brought this upon yourself



StaticShock: can u believe that one of the deepest fucking lines in the world came from a fucking spy kids movie


plain jane: explain


StaticShock: “Do you think that God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created?” Spoken by Steve Buscemi


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: All I remember from spy kids is the thumb thumbs

I still have nightmares about them


ochahoe: shark boy and lava girl is where it’s at don’t fucking @ me


Hayley Kiyoko: @ochahoe ur wrong


ochahoe: :^(


StaticShock: where is all the love for this good no sinning server tonight


Yuzuru Hanyu: is there normally love in here?


plain jane: no


oneokrock: yes


plain jane: I mean yes


ochahoe: gay


plain jane: yes yes u r


ochahoe: I’m bi so shut the fuck up


plain jane: :///


StaticShock: damn nothing but Depression in this wholesome server tonight


plain jane: that’s always my mood


Yuzuru Hanyu: Big Mood?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: rt


oneokrock: rt


Gothbirb: rt


oneokrock: when r Bakubro and Shinsou gettin back by the way?


ochahoe: I don’t know I feel like they should be back by now


Tsuboo: I can’t believe Bakugou and Shinsou are making out in the kitchen. Like really? Right in front of my salad?


StaticShock: damn need me a freak like that


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: we literally just made out


BubblegumBitch: I love u two but SHU T


ochahoe: ?!!?!?!?!!?


BubblegumBitch: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


BubblegumBitch: @bakuhoe EXPLAIN


StaticShock: he won’t answer u have to get Shinsou u kno this babe @Albert Einstein


Albert Einstein: Oh hey look at the time, it’s gotta go make out with my boyfriend o’clock


ochahoe: hoe



Albert Einstein: Ok Bakugou went back to cooking so I’ll tell u


ochahoe: he’s cooking again??????


Albert Einstein: I told him I didn’t eat yet and he got really offended like a grandma would and is making me food.


BubblegumBitch: kabefagfaikbkjb



ochahoe: the deetz Shinsou, THE DEETZ


Albert Einstein: it was really gay. We were sparring and he had flipped me and then pinned me and I said “holy shit date me”. And now here we are


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: why did I expect anything different


bakuhoe: fffffuck off


Albert Einstein: ur beautiful when ur angry

   now he’s cookin angrily

   and now I can openly oogle at him this is great


oneokrock: Congrats you gays!


Iidad: Yes, congratulations you two! I hope your time together is full of happiness!


BubblegumBitch: congrats from the three of us (they went back to making out)


Naked&Afraid: Congrats!!!


Bill Nye: Congratulations!


Tsuboo: yee congrats


Hayley Kiyoko: it took y’all long enough congrats


Yuzuru Hanyu: Yes, congratulations

PM bakuhoe -> Yuzuru Hanyu


bakuhoe: did u want me to look over the work?


Yuzuru Hanyu: no, that’s alright I think I’m just going to sleep


bakuhoe: it’s only 10 r u sick or some shit? I can bring u some food if u want


Yuzuru Hanyu: No, I’m just really tired. Thank you though.

2 / 5 r single and pining


StaticShock: Damn now we gotta change the chat name

          By the way congrats bro


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Yee congrats but are you guys good with just dating each other? What about Todoroki? If you don’t mind me asking


bakuhoe: I don’t know


oneokrock: bro what do you mean you don’t know?


bakuhoe: Of course I want to date BOTH of them. But when he asked me if i wanted to date him I just said yes??? I was so surprised that my feelings were actually returned? I DONT FUCKING KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS OK


oneokrock: ok calm down. Just talk to them about it. You won’t get anywhere by just ignoring your feelings. I’m gonna straight out tell you that todoroki likes you two. I don’t really care if it breaks the bro code but this is just a slippery slope. So tomorrow you should go talk to them.


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: couldn’t have said it better myself


bakuhoe: I already fucking tried to talk to him and he seems like he doesn’t want fucking anything to do with me


BubblegumBitch: I think you all just need to rest and figure this out tomorrow. But when you talk to them make sure Shinsou is ok with it first because you are now dating him

PM plain jane -> Yuzuru Hanyu


plain jane: are you okay?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I mean not really? I don’t know?

 It really hurts me in a way to see them together?

 I am happy for them but I wish I could be together with them?

 I think I just need some space right now.


plain jane: I’m sorry, if I hadn’t told Shinsou to do that


Yuzuru Hanyu: No, it wasn’t your fault, it was my own

  I just

  I didn’t say how I felt in time. It’s fine.

  I’m just not good at expressing myself yet? It makes me feel a little broken because I know that Shinsou can give Bakugou the stability he needs more than I can.

  And Bakugou can be there for Shinsou and take care of him and I can’t do that.

  And since they are together now I don’t think I’ll fit into the equation with them anymore. I would feel like I’m always intruding.

  And I just wouldn’t be good enough for one of them let alone both of them.

  I’ll get over it soon enough, it’ll be fine.


plain jane: Todoroki you’re not broken. Lets get that straight. You have learned to trust us and that’s a huge step, anyone would be lucky to have you. You are more than enough. I think you should just talk to them. But if you want space then I’ll give you space but I’m always here if you need to talk.


Yuzuru Hanyu: Thanks, I think I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight.


plain jane: I’ll see you tomorrow okay? Goodnight


PM Gothbirb -> Albert Einstein


Albert Eistein: question


Gothbirb: ah yes 3 am. The hour of Truth


Albert Einstein: So I got a bf right


Gothbirb: right


Albert Einstein: but is it bad I want another one as well? I am in Crisis Mode™


Gothbirb: it’s called polyamory look it up bitch


Albert Einstein: hoe I know but what do if u wanna date someone else while also dating ur current bf


Gothbirb: u literally just talk about it.


Albert Einstein: I hate confrontation so that’s a no go


Gothbirb: listen nothing is ever resolved through ignoring the issues at hand


Albert Einstein: uh false, I did that my whole life and I turned out fine


   U kno what nvm I’ll talk to my hot bf tomorrow


Gothbirb: good choice

Chapter Text

PM Albert Einstein -> bakuhoe


Albert Einstein: babe can we talk?


bakuhoe: I actually need to talk to you about something so yeah

               Don’t fucking call me babe


Albert Einstein: ok I’m gonna come to ur room


Kiri for the love of god just kiss him




oneokrock: I’m proud of u I’m glad it went well man!


bakuhoe: I told him how I fucking want to date half and half too and he just went “bitch me too the fuck”


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wow pretty amazing how talking solves issues


bakuhoe: I will murder u


StaticShock: pls don’t murder my bf


BubblegumBitch: yeah pls don’t murder him we love him


bakuhoe: no fucking promises

PM bakuhoe -> Yuzuru Hanyu


bakuhoe: Oi half and half can I talk to u


bakuhoe: ????


bakuhoe: hey shitface don’t ignore me

PM Albert Einstein -> Yuzuru Hanyu


Albert Einstein: Todoroki are you ok?


Albert Einstein: can we talk?


Albert Einstein: you’ve been acting weird since yesterday and we need to talk



bakuhoe: has anyone seen halfie?


ochahoe: hmmmm no I haven’t have u tried his room?


bakuhoe: yeah of course I have dumbass


plain jane: ah he actually went home for the weekend

                 He should have his phone tho, is he not responding to you?


bakuhoe: I’ve been trying to get a hold of him all fucking day


Albert Einstein: me too


plain jane: huh weird I’ll try getting a hold of him but he might be with his mom so

PM bakuhoe -> plain jane


bakuhoe: I think he’s ignoring me but can you just make sure he’s ok

               I know about his history with his shitty old man


plain jane: I’ll let you know!

                 But I do want to know if you’re serious about both of them. They are very close friends of mine


bakuhoe: when the fuck am I ever NOT SERIOUS




plain jane: u actually sat down and talked about feelings? You?




plain jane: I’ll make sure he’s alright but you have to tell him how you feel. You guys have gone long enough with the pining I don’t want to see any of you hurt.


bakuhoe: That’s exactly what I’m fucking trying to do. I didn’t mean for this to pan out this way fuck I messed up so bad


plain jane: It was actually my fault because of something I said to Shinsou which in turn made him ask you out


bakuhoe: it’s our fucking business so it was our own fucking fault dumbass

                Just keep me updated on that asshole since he’s ignoring us


plain jane: I’ll keep checking and I’ll let you know


bakuhoe: thanks

PM plain jane -> Yuzuru Hanyu


plain jane: you know you should really respond to Bakugou and Shinsou. They’re getting really worried.


Yuzuru Hanyu: why would they be worried?


plain jane: because you haven’t responded to them all day and they care about you???


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just don’t want to talk to them right now. I don’t really want to talk to anyone.


plain jane: you’re going to have to talk with them on Monday you know

                 you are in the same class you can’t ignore them forever


Yuzuru Hanyu: I can try

                        But I decided that I’m going to turn my phone off for the weekend so if everyone wonders what I’m doing just tell them I have my phone off

PM bakuhoe -> Albert Einstein


bakuhoe: I kno ur training with Aizawa rn but todoroki is ok and the fucker is avoiding us by turning his phone off


Albert Einstein: I’m glad he’s ok at least

                         Also I’m done training I’m headed back to the dorms now


bakuhoe: this really turned into a whole fiasco didn’t it


Albert Einstein: honeslty I’m surprised it didn’t turn into a fiasco sooner


bakuhoe: why do u say that


Albert Einstein: I thought ur gang would meddle somehow


bakuhoe: nah they loyal hoes that can somehow actually keep a secret


Albert Einstein: fair

                         what are you doing rn


bakuhoe: homework, why?


Albert Einstein: bc I need a nap and ur warm


bakuhoe: I see, ur only dating me so I can be a heater u hoe


Albert Einstein: actually im dating u bc ur beautiful, smart, passionate, ur actually a good person when u want to be despite constantly telling urself ur not. U look hot doing literally anything and u pretend to not care about anyone when in reality ur the grumpy grandpa that always complains but will help in anyway he can. Ur just rly wonderful and I like u a whole lot.


                         Were those ur explosions

                         Did I fluster u that much?


bakuhoe: ….maybe


Albert Einstein: holy shit I’m coming to kiss ur dumb face rn

                         Open ur fucking door

PM Albert Einstein -> oneokrock


Albert Einstein: can I ask u something


oneokrock: sure bro! What is it?


Albert Einstein: how long did it take Bakugou to be comfortable with your touches?


oneokrock: hmmmm good question

                  It took probably almost a full year for him to be comfortable with really long contact. He used to not be able to cuddle with us for more than 5 minutes. He’s certainly gotten a lot better at least with the squad bc u know how touchy we are.


Albert Einstein: Is it normal for him to get really tense? I ask because earlier I was taking a nap on him and then he tensed up really bad and he seemed a bit panicked.


oneokrock: he’ll probably get really tense bc he’s nervous around you and he’s not used to your touch but was he asleep too?


Albert Einstein: he might have been why?


oneokrock: he gets nightmares a lot. It’s not place to really tell you about them but you should definitely talk ab it. Maybe he’ll open up more to you bc he doesn’t tell me much.


Albert Einstein: I thought he might be sensitive to light touches bc I’ve been there and it seemed like it but thanks for the help.

                         Things have been pretty stressful since yesterday and I don’t want to cause him more stress


oneokrock: anytime dude! But I’m sure everything will work out between you three! Everyone is rooting for you guys!


Albert Einstein: I can only hope



StaticShock: So yeah that’s why I’m not allowed back in any Denny’s in Ohio


ochahoe: that was a wild ride from start to finish jesus


Hayley Kiyoko: ??? What the fuck ended up happening to the coyote ??


StaticShock: Pringles is probably out there somewhere, scouring Cleveland


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I love u but I never want to hear that story ever again


StaticShock: I mean that’s fair

                    But in my defense I was unsupervised


Iidad: I am very concerned about that story Kaminari!


BubblegumBitch: yeah babe what the fuck


StaticShock: would y’all be surprised if i told you that isn’t my worst story


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I think that one story was enough for today


Hayley Kiyoko: I agree


StaticShock: shit aight

PM shroomqueen420 -> bakuhoe


shroomqueen420: what’s brakin bruh how u livin

                              i cant beleive u like didnt tell me u got a bf u hoe


bakuhoe: where the fuck did u even get that information


shroomqueen420: my main girl mina told me she lit asf bruh


bakuhoe: yeah i have a fucking boyfriend


shroomqueen420: hell yeah is it todo? U said u were crushin on him


bakuhoe: its actually Shinsou


shroomqueen420: wow bruh congrats but what ab tododokidoki


bakuhoe: im also trying to date him its none of ur fucking business acid trip girl


shroomqueen420: ah so like polyamory right fam


bakuhoe: fucking yeah


shroomqueen420: swag as fuck y’all’ll be so litty together man gucci


bakuhoe: whenever I think I can fully understand u, u do this shit


shroomqueen420: just livin la vida loco my dude


Chapter Text

Class 1A


StaticShock: ya ever think how fucked up it is that we shed our teeth to be replaced by permanent, stronger teeth


Hayley Kiyoko: I am begging you to shut the fuck up


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: baby teeth: who are you

                                          Permanent teeth: im u but stronger


StaticShock: I love you so fucking much


BubblegumBitch: wow appreciating hanta without me? r00d


StaticShock: we always appreciating hanta, it’s what he deserves





ScotchTapeExtraordinare: guys i say we do what he says cause i didnt even see him use his phone and he has a blank face and honestly i am terrified


StaticShock: yeah ok I bet u just weren’t paying attention




StaticShock: holy fucking shit ok that was terrifying how r u doing that


bakuhoe: :)


StaticShock: shutting up now


ochahoe: holy shit did u see how fast Todo just nyoomed the fuck outta the classroom once aizawa said we could go


Tsuboo: bakugou looks like he’s about to crush his phone in his hand




Yuzuru Hanyu: sorry I have some things to do I’ll talk to everyone later


plain jane: jesus christ


oneokrock: Bakugou looks livid man

                  O i see why


Naked&Afraid: watching Shinsou drag an angry Bakugou out of the room with an equally angry expression was truly wild

PM bakuhoe -> Yuzuru Hanyu



                JUST TALK TO US YOU FUCK


Yuzuru Hanyu: Why? You obviously found out how I felt about both of you and You probably don’t want to be around me.


bakuhoe: WHAT

                WHAT THE FUCK NO


Yuzuru Hanyu: Then why? If you still want to be friends we can work it out but I don’t think I can spend as much time with you two.






Yuzuru Hanyu: Oh


                         I must apologize for being childish about this


bakuhoe: can we actually fucking talk about this now?


Yuzuru Hanyu: Yes I guess that would be good to do


bakuhoe: we’re coming to your room

                Knock knock bitch open the fuck up



Albert Einstein: wassup sluts guess who has two (2) boyfriends


plain jane: thank fucking god


Iidad: Midoriya!


ochahoe: no I agree thank fucking god


BubblegumBitch: Listen we’ve listened to Bakugou’s pining for months plus this whole fiasco let me say thank fucking god


bakuhoe: u can fukc off


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki you were pining?


bakuhoe: don’t act like u weren’t fucker


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just like to make you blush because you look so adorable


bakuhoe: S H U T


Albert Einstein: hmmm strong agree Shoto


oneokrock: r all of u together right now?


Yuzuru Hanyu: we are in my room, why?


oneokrock: bc I have to share the receipts of all of you guys pining and I need baku to not be able to kill me


bakuhoe: DONT






ScotchTapeExtraordinare: DO IT

Yuzuru Hanyu: we couldn’t have been that bad


plain jane: “Bakugou has the softest laugh and I almost passed out bc it was the cutest noise I’ve ever heard” -Todoroki


oneokrock: “that fucking half and half has the cutest but also the fucking sexiest hair and I don’t know how it’s possible” -Bakugou


StaticShock: “his jawline could honestly murder me. Who allowed that purple fuck to have such a nice face shape. Fuck him.” -Bakugou


plain jane: “Honestly if being thrown to the ground means I can touch Bakugou’s muscles then who the fuck am I to refuse that honor” -Shinsou


ochahoe: “I worry about him because he’s so tired and it makes me want to find a cure for insomnia so he can sleep peacefully.” -Todoroki


Gothbirb: “have you seen his teeth? HOLY SHIT THEY ARE A LITTLE POINTY AND VERY ATTRACTIVE 20/10 pls bite me” -Shinsou ab Bakugou


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m not ashamed of any of that

                       My boyfriends deserve every word I said


Albert Einstein: I’m gonna have to stop it here before it gets too R rated


Yuzuru Hanyu: I think you all have broken Katsuki. He is lying on top of Hitoshi with his face buried in his neck


BubblegumBitch: awwwwww


ochahoe: baku baby is embarrassed


StaticShock: o that was a big mood when I started dating Ashido and Hanta. I understand u Bakubro


plain jane: I’m just glad this pining is over


ochahoe: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


plain jane: put that away


ochahoe: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


plain jane: I’m being attacked


StaticShock: So Todoroki whomst be the better kisser?


Yuzuru Hanyu: im not answering that


Albert Einstein: u can say it’s Katsuki bc honestly it is


Yuzuru Hanyu: yeah ok it is


bakuhoe: of course I’m the best


oneokrock: ah yee there’s our bakubroski



                            sorry there’s just too many receipts and I thought that one was funny


plain jane: “have you ever looked at Todoroki and just gasped a little at how pretty he is?” -Shinsou


plain jane: I have too many, I had both of them pining to me all the time


oneokrock: Bakubro is ab to get rly embarrassed


bakuhoe: hoe don’t do it



oneokrock: “I know I’m still new to this whole feelings thing but honestly I could wake up to both of them every morning. And then have nice quiet mornings making breakfast with them with our cats.”


ochahoe: that’s adorable djdndnsk


BubblegumBitch: that’s so cute how come the ones u send to the squad r always so angry we never see these


bakuhoe: S T. OP


Tsuboo: I come into this good server and see so much gay

             What a time to be alive


Bill Nye: I am so happy for you all!

              If I may hop on the “receipts” train

             “I saw both of them laugh and accidentally caught on fire” - Todoroki


Hayley Kiyoko: dhhddnsksn get em babe


Yuzuru Hanyu: I wasn’t that bad


plain jane: yes u were


ochahoe: yes u were


Tsuboo: yes u were


Iidad: Yes you were!


Bill Nye: Yes you were


Hayley Kiyoko: yes the fuck u were bitch


Albert Einstein: great now both of my bfs r literally smoking


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: can we go back to how soft Baku was?????


bakuhoe: no


ochahoe: yes


StaticShock: he’s texted me stuff like that ab them before

                    he’s actually a big softy


bakuhoe: nope no more we’re done with that


ochahoe: boo u whore


Albert Einstein: hey Midoriya

                         Remember that thing


plain jane: I

                 I don’t recall

                 I suddenly can’t read


ochahoe: O?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I also remember that thing


Gothbirb: I have the receipts to that


plain jane: *sweats*

                  Another day pls I’m not ready


Albert Einstein: u have one (1) week




Albert Einstein: wait but what other receipts do u have bc Bakugou blushing is literally a gift from God himself


Yuzuru Hanyu: “you betrayed me. Now Shoto is my only boyfriend” - Katsuki, as he slowly rolls over to lay on top of me now


StaticShock: damn y’all wild


Yuzuru Hanyu: “Babe no. Come back ur so warm.”

                         Hitoshi is now also lying on top of me I am dying the best possible death


Bill Nye: Actually you have said before that the way you want to die ishbchxjxskxoxp


Hayley Kiyoko: I stopped her from typing something very not holy y’all should thank me


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: O? Is Todoroki into some spicy stuff ( ͡° ω ͡° )


Hayley Kiyoko: from what I’m hearing I am kind of concerned for them bc I don’t know what half of this shit is


StaticShock: somehow I’m not surprised


plain jane: ? Todoroki never mentioned anything about that to me


Bill Nye: I have known him for a long time so we tell each other A LOT


Yuzuru Hanyu: I dealt with your pining for Jirou since the first day of classes u owed me this much


Bill Nye: I’m going to admit I was pining very hard


Hayley Kiyoko: awe babe that’s so cute

                        And same I was a mess of pining


StaticShock: yeah I know


Hayley Kiyoko: fight me u bootleg Pikachu


oneokrock: how r u still alive Todoroki


Yuzuru Hanyu: well Hitoshi hadn’t slept for a day or so and he passed out on my right side and Katsuki has had an emotional day so he was tired as well and he fell asleep on my left side.


ochahoe: pics or it didn’t happen


Yuzuru Hanyu: sent 1 image


BubblegumBitch: so many soft Bakugou’s today

                            Such a blessed day


Yuzuru Hanyu: I think I’ll sleep too so good night everyone

                        And Midoriya

                        One (1) week


plain jane: shdbdkskdbs



Yuzuru Hanyu: :)


plain jane: that is haunting


oneokrock: what’s the thing?


plain jane: ITS NOTHING



oneokrock: ok dude if you say so



plain jane: ??????


oneokrock: did u wanna go check out the new comic book store with me tomorrow ??? I forgot to ask earlier


plain jane: yeah! That would be really cool! I think this one comic I wanted to get is out so they might have it!


oneokrock: nice dude! Is right after cass fine with you?


plain jane: yeah thats fine!


oneokrock: sweet






ochahoe: ;)))))))


plain jane: o my god


ochahoe: so what is this thing y’all r talking about


plain jane: so,,,,I might have made a deal with Shinsou that may in turn have started the whole fiasco that happened


Yuzuru Hanyu: he said “Shinsou if u ask Bakugou out then I’ll ask Kirishima out”

                        and it wasn’t your fault, we are just dense


plain jane: go back to sleep u fiend


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m turning his fucking phone off since he keeps moving his arm that I’m trying to use as a pillow


ochahoe: Hi bakugou


Yuzuru Hanyu: fuck off


Tsuboo: damn time to go fight for my gfs honor

              Square up thot


Yuzuru Hanyu: he went back to sleep but I’ll be going now


Tsuboo: sad, I’m in the mood to fight someone


Iidad: Please do not fight!


Tsuboo: sorry dad


Iidad: I also suggest you go to sleep!

          But Midoriya have fun on your date! Remember the curfew!


ochahoe: Iidad strikes again




ochahoe: sure jan


plain jane: it’s actually jane so shut the fuck up




Tsuboo: o my fuckin god he fuckin dead


Iidad: When will you learn that your actions have consequences!


plain jane: jhvksjv Iida why


ochahoe: G O D did u really meme so we would sleep


Iidad: Drastic times call for drastic measures!


Tsuboo: it truly is time to sleep jesus

Chapter Text

PM shroomqueen420 -> bakuhoe:


shroomqueen420: bakubabe y didnt u tell me u have 2 bfs


bakuhoe: bc it’s none of ur fucking business


shroomqueen420: dnt b like that fam

                              I wanna meet ur bf

                              I already kno Todobroski but not Shinsou


bakubabe: that’s too bad bc it’s not happening


shroomqueen420: dont b fuckin rood bakubaby


bakuhoe: no you’re not meeting himscdsmhs


shroomqueen420: r u ded bakubro?


bakuhoe: Hi, Shinsou here. The squad is planning a movie night this weekend txt Mina for info bc I deadakcnsdckdsnc


shroomqueen420: woah killed by ur own partner need me a freak like that (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎


bakuhoe: shut the up fuck



BubblegumBitch: so yeah I’m banned from Dublin Ireland and am now on the no fly list


StaticShock: that story was as bad as mine jesus


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I am never traveling with you two ever


BubblegumBitch: ;(((((


StaticShock: ;^(((


BubblegumBitch: !!!!!!

                            Camie just texted me to ask about our squad movie night!!!!


Albert Einstein: yeah I took Katsuki’s phone and told her about it bc he was grumbling ab her bothering him to meet me


BubblegumBitch: well she’s invited! She is one of my main girls after all!!!


StaticShock: I still remember when we first met her, sero started crying because he couldn’t understand her slang


ScothTapeExtraordinare: I hadn’t slept in two days and I was stressed


BubblegumBitch: tbh I wonder how Baku does it cause it’s hard for me to understand her sometimes


bakuhoe: u get used to it


oneokrock: how often do u talk to her???


bakuhoe: whenever she won’t leave me the fuck alone


Iidad: Please refrain from messaging in class!


bakuhoe: fuck u, this is just a review lesson


Albert Einstein: tru it is pretty fucking boring since we already know it all


StaticShock: whomst in this thread think remy from ratatouille would beat stuart littles ass in a fight


bakuhoe: remy is a fucking rat of course he would win


oneokrock: yeah but stuart is super smart


BubblegumBitch: both fair points


plain jane: remy would also have his rat army to help him


ochahoe: remy would win no question ab that


Iida: >:^(


ochahoe: ok dad sorry we’ll get off our phones

Kiri this is just tiring


BubblegumBitch: Kiri!!!!


oneokrock: ????


BubblegumBitch: remember to tell me all the details ab ur date ☆〜(ゝ。∂)


oneokrock: Its!!! Not!!!! A!!!!! Date!!!!!!


bakuhoe: bull fucking shit


oneokrock: its not!!!!!!!

                   also bakudude u r not allowed to have opinions on this


bakuhoe: fuck u I managed to get two bfs


oneokrock: fair


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: it’s ok dude just take ur time with it

         But stop being fucking BLIND


oneokrock: wow that hurts


StaticShock: not as much as watching ur pining


BubblegumBitch: call him out babe


oneokrock: it’s not THAT bad


bakuhoe: u rly wanna try that


oneokrock: nvm






ochahoe: I mean it’s just you two


               Off campus

               Seems like a date


plain jane: HNNNNNNNNNN


Tsuboo: you guys hang out alone together all the time. I don’t see why this is a big deal


Iidad: Exactly! Just enjoy one another’s company!


plain jane: but still what if he thinks it’s a date


Yuzuru Hanyu: Midoriya I think you are just overthinking things


plain jane: u aren’t allowed to tell me that Mr “I have to be angsty for a whole weekend”


Yuzuru Hanyu: it was ONE TIME


ochahoe: ok so Todoroki gets no say

               But I do and I say ur overthinking things


plain jane: o look at the time it’s gotta go on this platonic date with my crush time.


ochahoe: coward

Do the Hustle (bork version)


Albert Einstein: will my two beautiful bfs come stalk Midoriya and Kirishimas date with me


bakuhoe: no


Yuzuru Hanyu: shouldn’t we just let them enjoy their date?


Albert Einstein: boo u whore


bakuhoe: Shitty hair is freaking out about it enough we don’t need to add fuel to the fire


Yuzuru Hanyu: no one is adding fuel to me


bakuhoe: y r u like this


Albert Einstein: shhh let him be


Yuzuru Hanyu: can we go on a date?


bakuhoe: we have homework u fuck


Yuzuru Hanyu: Please…?


bakuhoe: god fucking dammit where do u wanna go


Albert Einstein: that new comic book store


bakuhoe: where do u wanna go that doesn’t involve stalking those two


Yuzuru Hanyu: can we go to the cat cafe


Albert Einstein: I’m already waiting in the common room get a fucking move on slackers



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: is it like date night or smth????


ochahoe: what makes u say that


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: momo and Jirou went out and baku, Todoroki, and Shinsou just left


ochahoe: that’s really funny!


BubblegumBitch: how come we didn’t do date night ;((((


Albert Einstein: we’re only doing date night bc Shoto asked and he then suggested a cat cafe so we’re here now


StaticShock: baku agreed just like that????


Albert Einstein: he falls for Shotos begging everytime


bakuhoe: I thought u were talkin shit and I was right


Albert Einstein: B-babe it’s not what you think!


bakuhoe: I wont hesitate bitch!


Yuzuru Hanyu: *gunshot noise*


ochahoe: y’all wild


Albert Einstein: sent 5 images

                         How in the FUCK did i get so lucky what the FUCK


ochahoe: is

               is that a kitten sitting on top of bakugous head


Naked&Afraid: I’m more interested in the fact that Todoroki looks like he’s about to cry


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy in my life

                        I have my two boyfriends with me who I like very much and I’m surrounded by cats and tea

                        my heart is so full


Albert Einstein: thats so sweet and gay

                         I was just gonna send a pic of a cat that I photoshopped Katsukis face on but now I’m crying


StaticShock: you should still send the pic tho


Albert Einstein: he said if I send it he’s not kissing me for two weeks so I can’t


BubblegumBitch: damn :/ #whipped


Albert Einstein: u bet ur ass I’m whipped do u know who I’m dating


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u kno what thats fair

Kiri this is just tiring


oneokrock: im literally going to die


StaticShock: O?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: O?


BubblegumBitch: O?


bakuhoe: O?


StaticShock: damn even bakubabe


oneokrock: listen,,,,,,

                   His face just lit up when we got to the store

                   It was so cute he was so excited

                   Then he kept talking about this series he’s reading and he was doing his really adorable mumbling


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I want u to read the name of this chat


StaticShock: ^^^^^


BubblegumBitch: I think that’s adorable


oneokrock: we’re actually headed to a cat cafe now and I’m gonna die more


bakuhoe: u shouldn’t go there


oneokrock: ?????


StaticShock: he’s there rn and doesn’t want u to see him being all soft with his bfs


oneokrock: ???? why r u at a cat cafe rn???


BubblegumBitch: check the class chat


oneokrock: too late we’re already here


bakuhoe: ur dead to me



irlfurry: someone please tell me why I just witnessed Kaminari climbing on top the fridge screaming “this house is a fucking nightmare”


StaticShock: its,,,none of ur business,,,


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I told him we were out of cereal


ochahoe: jesus


StaticShock: I’ve been looking forward to that cereal all day babe and its GONE


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: babe we can go get some rn

                                          pls get off the fridge


StaticShock: i love u


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: <3


Albert Einstein: How is it possible for Katsuki to look even cuter when he’s pouting with the cats im literally dying what the fuck


                         That was not supposed to go here


Yuzuru Hanyu: gay


Albert Einstein: u sent that right after u kissed Katsuki


bakuhoe: we’ve already seen the receipts plus u say gayer stuff to our faces


Albert Einstein: ….maybe so….


ochahoe: babe how come we r never gay in the class chat?


Tsuboo: we would kill them with how gay we are


ochahoe: tru


BubblegumBitch: u hoes went to get cereal without me >:^/


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: we knew u were with jirou finding some dope music so we just went

                                          we got u some strawberry candies tho


BubblegumBitch: how do u know exactly what I’m craving I swear it’s some kind of magic


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: It’s just dumb luck tbh


BubblegumBitch: soulmates


oneokrock: I’ve never seen Bakubro look this soft before

                  He’s leaning on Todoroki and he looks so happy???


ochahoe: are you with them????


oneokrock: actually Midoriya and me already decided to come here after we checked out the comic book store and they just so happened to be here!

                   I already got threatened by Baku tho


bakuhoe: sometimes I like to enjoy my bfs without having dumbasses around


oneokrock: ;((( u still love me


bakuhoe: try me bitch


oneokrock: wow it sure would be a shame if some more of ur super soft receipts were leaked to this group message


bakuhoe: fuck u


oneokrock: <3


bakuhoe: wanna kno smth fucking hilarious


StaticShock: who do u take me for

                    of course I do


bakuhoe: halfie tell them why u refused to hold our hands on the way to the cafe


Yuzuru Hanyu: ….

                        Because I’m the hand crusher


ochahoe: djxndnnd



plain jane: he’s told me about this before bc me and Iida both injured our hands when we fought around him


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t want to hurt their hands, especially Katsuki because he needs those for his quirk


BubblegumBitch: jdnxxkx Todo ur an absolute treasure never change


Yuzuru Hanyu: ????


StaticShock: todo my dude my guy that’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a while


Tsuboo: I think it’s touching that he doesn’t want to injure their hands


Hayley Kiyoko: so wait lemme get this straight

                        you have kissed both of them

                        but u refuse to hold their hands


Yuzuru Hanyu: Yes


Hayley Kiyoko: o my god


Bill Nye: Todoroki we have been over this.

              Plus no one has broken their hand this year so I think you’re fine!


Yuzuru Hanyu: you can never be too safe


Albert Einstein: great. Now Katsuki is trying to grab his hand and it’s disturbing the cats

                         aaaaand we got asked to leave


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: rip in pieces binch


Chapter Text

Kiri this is just tiring


BubblegumBitch: It’s movie night!!!!!!!!

                            Bakubabe can u go walk Camie here from the train station after class, I don’t want her to get lost on the way here


bakuhoe: why can’t one of u fucks do it


BubblegumBitch: bc me and denki r on pillow fort duty and hantaand kiri r on snack duty


bakuhoe: fine


BubblegumBitch: <3

                            Baku give me a heart back


bakuhoe: no


BubblegumBitch: :’(


bakuhoe: ….



BubblegumBitch: <333



BubblegumBitch: bakusquad plus Todoroki and Shinsou are having a movie night in the common room! Anyone is welcome to join!


Hayley Kiyoko: Momo and I might come chill for a bit but we were gonna start a new series


BubblegumBitch: ooooo what series


Hayley Kiyoko: ….naruto….


BubblegumBitch: pffffff


StaticShock: babe don’t diss naruto

                    It’s great


BubblegumBitch: u kno I’m more of a drama person rather than anime, love


StaticShock: One of these days I’m gonna make you watch it. One day


Tsuboo: me and ochako are going out tonight


BubblegumBitch: awe have fun! What are you doing?


Tsuboo: We’re going out to eat and then walking around the city


Naked&Afraid: that sounds fun!


Hayley Kiyoko: o fuck Aizawa is giving u The Glare


BubblegumBitch: o fuk


Naked&Afraid: I can’t make movie night but keep me updated!


BubblegumBitch: will do lovie!

PM oneokrock -> plain jane


oneokrock: hey bro you should totally come to movie night!

                   We’re watching Thor Ragnarock, Remember Me, Pokémon the first movie, and But Im a Cheerleader


plain jane: I’ll be there! What time does it start!


oneokrock: well we’re gonna start once Camie gets here but if u want u can come with me and sero after class to get snacks!


plain jane: sure!

Kiri this is just tiring


oneokrock: Hey Sero

                   u should do ur bro a favor and work on the pillow for with Mina and Kami


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: OwO what’s this ?


oneokrock: I may have invited Mido to come buy snacks with us….but I wanna actually ask him out ya feel


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: no problemo my dude I’ll make an excuse before we go so u two can have ur moment ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


oneokrock: ur such a bro ily


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: anything to end this pining


oneokrock: ruined the nice friendship moment


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: What’s friendship without a little heckling


StaticShock: bro!!!!! That’s great!!!!


bakuhoe: fucking finally


oneokrock: I don’t even know if he’ll say yes!


bakuhoe: bitch is u blind


oneokrock: :/


BubblegumBitch: IM SO EXCITED!!!!

                           YOU GOT THIS KIRI!!!


oneokrock: imma try my best ᕙ( * •̀ ᗜ •́ * )ᕗ



plain jane: Kiri just invited me to go gets snacks with him and sero and then come to movie night

                  I might actually die


Iidad: Tell them I wish I could make it but I cannot because it is a family members birthday! But also I’m sure you will be fine! It’s just a group of friends hanging out!


ochahoe: he’s right it’ll be fine! You really are over thinking things


Yuzuru Hanyu: everyone else will be there too so it’s not like you’re on a date alone


plain jane: all good points all good points


Tsuboo: y’all stress about this stuff way too much


plain jane: you’re just so forward so ur an outliner and shouldn’t be counted


ochahoe: I love her for it bc look at us! The classes first couple and going strong!


Tsuboo: <33


ochahoe: <33333


Yuzuru Hanyu: gay


ochahoe: u have two whole bfs


Yuzuru Hanyu: fair

PM bakuhoe -> shroomqueen420


bakuhoe: remember to get off at the right stop bc if ur not there I’m going to leave


shroomqueen420: bakubabe ur picking me up? <3


bakuhoe: unfortunately


shroomqueen420: u kno u love me ♪(´ε` )


bakuhoe: fake news


shroomqueen420: :(


bakuhoe: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oover Javer


bakuhoe: who wants to come with me to get Camie

                Shinsou this was ur doing so ur coming if u want to or not


Albert Einstein: damn u rly hit me with the last name babe I’m hurt

                         but yeah I’ll come


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’ll come too


bakuhoe: also be ready to deal with Dekus shit once class ends


Yuzuru Hanyu: ?




                 THIS IS HOW I DIE


ochahoe: you’ll be fine it’s just going to get snacks


Yuzuru Hanyu: Your time is ticking away only a few days left


Tsuboo: had I not known what that was about I would have been really concerned


ochahoe: that was literally the most ominous way to phrase that


plain jane: Fine! U know what I’m gonna tell him while we buy snacks!


ochahoe: That’s the spirit!!!!


Iidad: Best of luck!!!



Albert Einstein: I’m cry I don’t know what Camie is saying


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: S E E


BubblegumBitch: you all over exaggerate


Albert Einstein: when she met me she said “awe swaggy fam what’s brackin bruh? It finna be a lit night it’s gucci as fuck.”


ochahoe: jsvdvdjslsbcl

               Does she really talk like that all the time???


bakuhoe: yes


Yuzuru Hanyu: yes


Albert Einstein: I will admit it’s funny to see Katsuki using more slang than normal to talk to her


Yuzuru Hanyu: it makes him seem more like a delinquent


Bill Nye: You always did have a thing for that type


BubblegumBitch: jbshskjskdsjlk

                           Call him out Momo


StaticShock: expose him


Yuzuru Hanyu: @plain jane when r u all getting back with the snacks?


ochahoe: u aint slick Todoroki


Albert Einstein: we just answered our own question

                         Sent 1 image



                AND BLUSHING


Albert Einstein: we were wondering where they were since they must have gotten snacks by now and we turned a corner and there they were


oneokrock: damn I didn’t even get a chance to tell the squad first


ochahoe: who asked who?????


plain jane: it was actually really funny because we asked at the same time!


oneokrock: we both went to pick up the same bag of chips and I accidentally grabbed his hand and we just kinda froze for a sec before asking each other out at the same time.


ochahoe: that’s something straight out of a romance movie dbncndksks adorable


BubblegumBitch: the pillow fort is complete!!! Movie night is ready to start whenever you guys get back!


Albert Einstein: we may be a little late

                         we lost Camie while trying to low key stalk the new couple


BubblegumBitch: you had one job!!!!


bakuhoe: it’s not my fault she has the attention span of less than a goldfish


StaticShock: hurry and find her!!!! I wanna watch thor!!!!


Albert Einstein: o my god


StaticShock: ??????


Albert Einstein: Katsuki yelled “Red Robin” and we heard Camie yell back “Yum”


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: what the fuck


Albert Einstein: I mean we found her so


bakuhoe: that one wind bitch who goes to her school told me about that trick


ochahoe: who????


Yuzuru Hanyu: Inasa Yoarashi


ochahoe: still not understanding


bakuhoe: doesn’t matter we found her and now I can watch Thor kick ass


Albert Einstein: babe u just like watching people punch each other and shit blow up


bakuhoe: maybe so


Albert Einstein: Shoto stop staring at Camie like u wanna murder her


Yuzuru Hanyu: im not doing that


BubblegumBitch: ?????


Albert Einstein: to keep Camie from wandering off again she’s holding Katsuki’s hand and people keep saying “what a cute couple” and Shoto is jealous


Yuzuru Hanyu: no im not


Albert Einstein: wrong, bitch, take a seat


plain jane: Todoroki you do have a tendency to get jealous


Yuzuru Hanyu: ….

Oovoo Javer


Albert Einstein: love, are you okay tho?

                         Im messaging because if it’s something that bothers you katsuki will know too


Yuzuru Hanyu: Im fine

                        I just get...possesive

                        I know it’s not really healthy but

                        It makes me feel not good enough at times


Albert Einstein: I never want you to feel as if you’re not good enough because that is not true whatsoever but it’s something we can all work on together


Yuzuru Hanyu: I shouldn’t be upset over something so stupid


bakuhoe: I never want to hear you say you’re not good enough cause honestly that’s the dumbest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Both of you could do way fucking better than me but here we are and I’m so fucking grateful that your with me. Don’t ever fucking say that you’re feelings don’t matter or that their stupid, shithead. What you feel is fucking valid.


Albert Einstein: I like you both so much and if either of you ever feel that way please talk about it. Nothing is ever solved by not communicating.

  Shoto are you crying?


Yuzuru Hanyu: yes

  I never thought I’d find a place to accept so much of me


Albert Einstein: Katsuki cmere and hold our fucking hands we’re having a moment



BubblegumBitch: so apparently the trio is having a moment outside but they let Camie in to relay the message to start the movie??


StaticShock: why are you typing in the gc


BubblegumBitch: Tooru asked me to keep her posted throughout the night!


StaticShock: ahhhh oki then lets start


BubblegumBitch: We’re gonna watch pokemon first bc I know Baku wants to watch thor

PM oneokrock -> bakuhoe


oneokrock: hey man is everything ok? You guys have been outside for like half the movie


bakuhoe: yeah everything is fine just some fucking feeling shit and crying


oneokrock: ok man just checking

                   also we put on pokemon instead of thor bc we knew how excited u were for it


bakuhoe: were coming inside now


Chapter Text



BubblegumBitch: as soon as Baku came in he made us stop watching pokemon and watch thor instead


bakuhoe: I HAVE BEEN W A I TI IN G


StaticShock: but dude pokemon


bakuhoe: ur an irl pikachu stfu


StaticShock: fair


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ok but thor tied up in chains is my kink


Yuzuru Hanyu: same


ochahoe: I look away from my beautiful gf only to have to come kinkshame in this server


Yuzuru Hanyu: being tied up isn’t too kinky


BubblegumBitch: W HA T


Naked&Afraid: excuse me


plain jane: wh


Yuzuru Hanyu: it’s not…?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I was yelled at and told to look at my phone and o boy I feel bad for Bakugou and Shinsou suddenly


Albert Einstein: Shoto started steaming cause he thinks he’s too kinky now


Yuzuru Hanyu: no I didn’t


bakuhoe: yes the fuck u did


Yuzuru Hanyu: But you must agree it’s not that kinky


Albert Einstein: it could be way kinkier but

                         it’s still pretty kinky depending on how much someone is tied up


ochahoe: suddenly I’m not having this kink convo and returning my full attention back to my date


Naked&Afraid: I’m kind of sorry I asked you all to keep me updated



BubblegumBitch: it’s what u wanted bby pls


Naked&Afraid: guess I’ll just have to live with the consequences


oneokrock: with how many times Thor is getting shocked that has to get irritating


BubblegumBitch: “Yike broseph he rly is gettin lit” - Camie


Bill Nye: Oh, Jirou and I might come down to join you for the next movie!


BubblegumBitch: nice !!


Gothbirb: Shoji And myself would come down but we are currently having a horror movie marathon


BubblegumBitch: shoot we should have gotten a horror movie!


Gothbirb: we can bring one down later if u want


BubblegumBitch: that would be great!!!!


StaticShock: y’all should we maybe make dinner after the movie?


oneokrock: ur right we should eat actual food


StaticShock: alright whomst in this good home is gonna cook?


bakuhoe: if you want food so fucking badly then make it yourself


StaticShock: but baku ;(((

                    u should cook u make the best food


bakuhoe: no


Albert Einstein: love of my life


bakuhoe: no


Yuzuru Hanyu: stars in my sky


bakuhoe: No


Albert Einstein: my drink of water in the driest of deserts


bakuhoe: fuck off


Yuzuru Hanyu: my diamond in a mountain of pebbles


bakuhoe: stop


Albert Einstein: my fucking cinnamon apple


bakuhoe: ah yup just ruined the moment and ya almost fuckin got me


Albert Einstein: FUCK

                         BUT LOVE YOU LOVE VINE REFERENCES


bakuhoe: damn I can’t hear you over the food I’m not cooking


Yuzuru Hanyu: please, kitten?


bakuhoe: I fucking hate you both I want you to know that




Albert Einstein: I love boyfriend privileges


oneokrock: can I get some ?


bakuhoe: fucking fine

                I’m cooking for Camie too because she’s a fucking guest and I’m a good fucking host


StaticShock: unfAIR


BubblegumBitch: so ur not cooking for me and hanta either? ;(((


bakuhoe: no


BubblegumBitch: pleaseeeeee


bakuhoe: no


BubblegumBitch: pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee


bakuhoe: FINE

                Im cooking for everyone who is watching thor


Hayley Kiyoko: could you add two more to the list


bakuhoe: i hate everyone in the fucking class



BubblegumBitch: hey kiri how is cuddling with midoriya


oneokrock: im going to die

                   hes so cute


bakuhoe: persih


StaticShock: persih


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: persih


BubblegumBitch: persih


oneokrock: persih


bakuhoe: die


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u literally cant tell us that when ur snadwhiched between Todo and Shinsou


oneokrock: snadwhiched


BubblegumBitch: snadwhiched


StaticShock: snadwhiched


bakuhoe: snadwhiched


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I hate this fucking family

Cause stepmother, ball is life


Yuzuru Hanyu: loves


Albert Einstein: what is it?


bakuhoe: we are literally all cuddling why are you texting us


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t want to disturb everyone else


Albert Einstein: makes sense


bakuhoe: what do u wanna say? Thor is about to kick ass


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m not saying that the whole April 18th strayed away conspiracy is true

  But what if t is


bakuhoe: Shoto we’ve been over this


Yuzuru Hanyu: But Listen


bakuhoe: how about you wait till the movie is over and then you can tell me all about it while I cook


Yuzuru Hanyu: deal



BubblegumBitch: ok so the movie is over, can someone tell me why Todoroki immediately started talking really fast while following Bakugou to make dinner


Albert Einstein: Shoto is really invested in the strayed away conspiracy and he is basically going crazy over it


BubblegumBitch: the what now


oneokrock: dude how have you not heard of it?


StaticShock: cmon babe


BubblegumBitch: I have absolutely no interest in conspiracy theories love


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: its basically ab ths guy who got a weird voicemail and now everyone thinks it was from the missing plane from malaysia


Yuzuru Hanyu: they apparently found the missing plane with bullet holes in it


bakuhoe: babe I will literally makeout with you instead of cooking to get you to shut the fuck up about this


Yuzuru Hanyu: Somehow everything ties back to the date of April 18thhskjdfhlsj


StaticShock: nO BAKU DONT

                    PLEASE COOK


Albert Einstein: well we aren’t getting dinner for at least 15 min


plain jane: they’re gonna makeout for 15 minutes?


oneokrock: bakubro rly doesn’t wanna hear more about that conspiracy anymore


Albert Einstein: o no looks like i will have to go take katsukis place to shut shoto up

                         a tru tragedy


BubblegumBitch: thank u for ur service

Chapter Text



StaticShock: I didnt know that people could makeout that long


Hayley Kiyoko: Yeah what the fuck Im impressed


Naked&Afraid: do I rly want to know


BubblegumBitch: Well since Baku had to cook and didn’t want to listen to Todoroki talk ab conspiracies he started making out w Todo. But Baku had to cook so now Shinsou and Todoroki have been making out for like 20 min


plain jane: ha gay


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u literally snuggled with Kiri through two movies


Tsuboo: why is everyone such a mess


ochahoe: bc we’re not there to supervise, love


Tsuboo: tru. Iida isn’t there either


Iidad: Please be responsible in my absence!


ochahoe: ok dad


BubblegumBitch: sorry to interrupt this touching family moment but Camie just told us a funny story that needs to be put in here lemme add her real quick.


BubblegumBitch added shroomqueen420 to the chat!


shroomqueen420: sup sluts


BubblegumBitch: tell the story !!!


shroomqueen420: aight so

                              On the holidays my fam like forces me to go to church right. Bc we some holy mfs whomst praise jesus. Anyway I was wearing an overall dress with a long sleeve, ya kno smth that you would wear for Easter but my gma said my knee length skirt was “too short to wear to church” and without thinking I said “Yo dude I’m a slut for the lord” and I’ve never seen so many old ppl look so disappointed all at once. I think one like had a heart attack it was lit


ochahoe: kjsbkjdfbg


Naked&Afraid: I think I would be disowned if I did that


Tsuboo: I’m so sad that I couldn’t meet you


shroomqueen420: just have bakubroski invite me back for more lit times and we’ll be gucci yo


BubblegumBitch: u should just transfer bc I love u and need another girl in the squad

                            Jirou is the closest thing I have to a bakusquad gf but she doesn’t hang w us as much :(((


Hayley Kiyoko: I ride a fine line


Bill Nye: Everyone, Bakugou is done with dinner!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Denki just fucking sprinted to the kitchen I dont think Ive ever seen him run so fast


bakuhoe: Im not inviting u over ever. I didn’t even invite u this time


shroomqueen420: but u love me


bakuhoe: nope


shroomqueen420: u told me ab ur pining for Todohoeski u bitch


Yuzuru Hanyu: Before we watch the movie could I please show a video from YouTube


bakuhoe: no. also why are u messaging this we are all at the table


Yuzuru Hanyu: I feel less crazy this way


ScotchTapeExtraordiare: understandable, go ahead and play it once we eat


oneokrock: so how long did you guys makeout for


Albert Einstein: I plead the fifth


plain jane: this isn’t America


Albert Einstein: o yeah thank god

                         Still not tellin u shit tho


ochahoe: Im missing Bakus cooking this is a crime


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: get fuckin rekt scrub


Tsuboo: can’t believe I have to fight for my gfs honor again


ScotchTapeExtraorinare: I take it back pls don’t fight me


StaticShock: Jirou and Momo are so ridiculously lovey and it warms my heart but at the same time I want to throw up


shroomqueen420: its fucknig lit but damn hoe i be jelly


Iidad: I must apologize, but was that english?


shroomqueen420: lmao nah fam


Iidad: Okay then!


bakuhoe: she agrees but she’s jealous cause she’s single as fuck


Iidad: Thank you Bakugou!


BubblegumBitch: tbh idk why ur single Camie


shroomqueen420: no one rly knows what I’m sayin most the time lmao that’s y i tried to scoop baku up when we met


oneokrock: ????


shroomqueen420: Bakubaby understood what I said and shit bruh he even laughed at my jokes

                              Sadly when I like asked for a date all I got was a “Is your name Todoroki Shoto? No? Then fuck off.” and like he accidentally flippin confessed he had a bodonkin huge ass crush on Todo


bakuhoe: ur fucking dead to me


Yuzuru Hanyu: Love, that’s adorable


bakuhoe: S HU T


BubblegumBitch: aaaand Todoroki just went over and kissed Bakubro on the forehead, it was so sweet I got a cavity


oneokrock: Todoroki that was so h*cking manly


BubblegumBitch: why did you censor hecking


bakuhoe: because it’s a fucking bad word


StaticShock: can we go like five minutes without them being ridiculously in love


Albert Einstein: no


bakuhoe: no


Yuzuru Hanyu: no


StaticShock: understandable have a nice day


Gothbirb: we come downstairs and suddenly Bakugou sprints past us chasing after Todoroki??


Bill Nye: Oh no


ochahoe: ???


Bill Nye: Todoroki is going to put on conspiracy theories


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: OH NO


Tsuboo: why are you saying o no


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: bc with Tokoyami now downstairs plus Denki and Mina and Shinsou and Midoriya we will never finish movie night and end up YouTube deep diving


ochahoe: wh


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I need to go help Bakugou right now immediately


Hayley Kiyoko: it’s too late. Todoroki has already put on the video of the voice recording of the strayed away conspiracy


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: FUCK


Yuzuru Hanyu: listen one of my conspiracies came true this year I can dream


plain jane: Todoroki we have been over this. I am not All Mights secret love child


StaticShock: im sorry wh a t


Yuzuru Hanyu: …..


bakuhoe: no, go ahead, explain yourself cause you fucking questioned me for weeks too


Yuzuru Hanyu: listen it makes sense


ochahoe: do we really have to go through this again?


BubblegumBitch: No please do tell


Yuzuru Hanyu: I thought that Midoriya was actually All Mights secret love child. They have similar quirks and he’s close with All Might so I mean it makes sense


BubblegumBitch: sdlbkjvbs Todobro why


shroomqueen420: Im yellin broseph youve never told me ab ur wildin theories


Albert Einstein: awe now he’s embarrassed. He’s trying to hide by snuggling Katsu

                          “Love, is it really dumb that I thought that?” “You’re not fucking dumb because at least one of your theories was right.”


ochahoe: which theory was right???


Albert Einstein: He had a theory that I was somehow related to Aizawa


BubblegumBitch: oh shit really?


Albert Einstein: yeah when I first transferred to class he came up to me after the first month and asked. It really explained why he was so weird around me at first


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just thought you were really cute at first


oneokrock: gay


shroomqueen420: isn’t like everybitch in ur class gay


oneokrock: Camie y u gotta call us out like this


shroomqueen420: There r maybs 4 whole other gays at my school


StaticShock: sad


ochahoe: if you dont mind me asking, what do you identify as?


shroomqueen420: Im gettin bi


ochahoe: o? Same worm


shroomqueen420: noice


StaticShock: damn bitch u live like that with 4 other gays?


shroomqueen420: its never fkin lit there bruh it always got me fuckt up


bakuhoe: thats just a fucking terrible place to be


shroomqueen420: too bad y’all dont got any openings here


BubblegumBitch: babe you can come visit anytime you like


Bill Nye: Yes! You are always welcome here!


shroomqueen420: lit now u guys gotta b prepared 4 me erry wkend


BubblegumBitch: !!!! yes my girl !!!!!


Hayley Kiyoko: why did I just hear the strangest convo between Todoroki and Tokoyami


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: so it begins


Gothbirb: Listen, artificial intelligence is going to take us all out one day


Yuzuru Hanyu: It doesn’t matter because we’re all living in a giant simulation anyway

                        It’s the only reason that explains why we have quirks


bakuhoe: I’m going the fuck to sleep


oneokrock: I forgot how much of an old man u are


bakuhoe: fight me bitch


StaticShock: Shinsou how do you keep these two in check


Albert Einstein: I don’t


StaticShock: that’s fair

                    But can you try rn bc Todoroki has been watching conspiracy theories for like two hours


Yuzuru Hanyu: they could be true


bakuhoe: Hitoshi is my only boyfriend now


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki




bakuhoe: ffffffuck off Im taken


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m trying to hit on you please cooperate


bakuhoe: no fuck off


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki, light of my life, holder of my heart, pls come back


Albert Einstein: babe pls just let his flirting attempts work


bakuhoe: fine


Yuzuru Hanyu: I love you bitch

                        I aint ever gonna stop lovin you



StaticShock: and they’re aggressively making out now


Albert Einstein: I love my two emotionally constipated bfs


plain jane: gay


Albert Einstein: I have receipts


plain jane: G A Y


Albert Einstein: fuck wait I deleted my receipts


shroomqueen420: fkin rekt scrub


Albert Einstein: o fuck I just remembered that I never told Aizawa and Yamada ab me dating Katsuki and Shoto


bakuhoe: they probs already know dumbass


Albert Einstein: lemme tell em real quick just so they know


oneokrock: good luck bro!

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: just telling you both but I’m dating people


Bass Boosted Screaming: wh

                                        W H A T


Stop: Bakugou and Todoroki right?


Albert Einstein: yeah


Bass Boosted Screaming: WHO NOW

                                        SHOUTA HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS


Stop: Hizashi you have seen them kiss before




Albert Einstein: thats a fair assumption


Bass Boosted Screaming: ANYWAY I’m glad you’re in a relationship with people you like, but keep in mind I will not hesitate :)


Albert Einstein: hesitate what?


Bass Boosted Screaming: :)


Stop: stop threatening our children

         Shinsou you all in the common room should also go to bed it’s getting late


Albert Einstein: h

                         How did u know we were still in the common room


Stop: I didn’t until you told me just now


Albert Einstein: well fuck



Albert Einstein: we’ve been found out by Aizawa and he says we need to sleep


BubblegumBitch: damn


StaticShock: wait what about Ochako and Tsuyu


ochahoe: we’re staying with my parents!


BubblegumBitch: o shit lit


Stop: This is Aizawa. Go to sleep, this is how sleep schedules are ruined.


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: H

                                          How did u get in here


Stop: not important go to bed


Stop has left CLASS 1A


Yuzuru Hanyu: I have a theory


bakuhoe: no the fuck you dont we r going to bed


plain jane: rip

Chapter Text



ochahoe: why is Bakugou so grumpy today??? When he got back he seemed like he wanted to murder everyone more than normal


oneokrock: Todoroki kept him up with his theories all night so him, Todoroki, and Shinsou are all running on an hour of sleep and we went out shopping with Camie this morning before she went home


shroomqueen420: by the way bros I made it home gucci so we fuckin lit aight


BubblegumBitch: Maybe you can come again soon!!!! I’ll miss u lovie <33


shroomqueen420: hells yeah I wanna like visit again <333


bakuhoe: shut the fuck up you’re making my fucking phone go off


StaticShock: put it on do not disturb bro


bakuhoe: I must be really fucking tired cause that’s a good idea


StaticShock: hey I have good ideas sometimes!


Tsuboo: debatable


StaticShock: rood


BubblegumBitch: so we took Camie out shopping earlier right and we go into a bookstore and I pick up the 50 shades of gray trilogy pack and go “Bakubro look it’s ur bible” and he looks me dead in the eyes and goes “I’m not into that weak shit”


oneokrock: can we not relive that


plain jane: I didn’t need to know that info but it explains why Todoroki is smoking


Iidad: I leave this chat for one weekend and it’s already come to this


Gothbirb: it was bound to happen


Iidad: I can still be disappointed


Albert Einstein: Iida would be shook to find out some shit that I’m into


                         Wrong chat


plain jane: s t. O p making Todoroki catch on fire with ur kinks p l s I am sitting right beside him and he singed me


Yuzuru Hanyu: sorry


Hayley Kiyoko: Somehow the kinkiest people in class have gotten together, like fate or smth


shroomqueen420: Damn didn’t know Bakubruh was a freak


bakuhoe: can I remove her from here?


Iidad: Since she is not part of our class or even school it may be best!


BubblegumBitch: hoe dont do it


bakuhoe: interesting


shroomqueen420: bakubabe B ls


bakuhoe: I’ll let you live

                For now...


Bill Nye: If you all ever need anything please do not hesitate to ask! I have vast knowledge of certain items!


BubblegumBitch: BITCH WAHT


ochahoe: sjdbxnncc jesus sznxx


StaticShock: W H Y


Hayley Kiyoko: babe,,,,


Iidad: Yaoyorozu!


Bill Nye: !!!!! I do not think it’s such a big deal! We are teenagers so it’s natural for uh urges…


bakuhoe: that’s fucking it, it’s time to leave this fucking chat


Bill Nye: I am simply stating something! Plus Todoroki has asked for items before so it is not a big deal!


bakuhoe: Shoto I’m disowning you


Yuzuru Hanyu: It’s not my fault you and Shinsou both liked using it


BubblegumBitch: I am gonna have to stop this convo right fucking now


oneokrock: wait

                   If Aizawa sensei got in here once how do we know he’s not in here rn


Albert Einstein: ….

                         O no

                         O Jesus


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: #exposed


Stop: just be safe about it don’t let it interfere with school


plain jane: O MY GOD




Gothbirb: Shinsou is ab to jump out my window


Albert Einstein: That’s it I have to fake my death and move to a remote village to become a sheepherder





Stop: I’ve done my fair share of suffering now it’s your turn


BubblegumBitch: suffering from what?????


Stop: my husband


Bass Boosted Screaming: SHOUTA THATS RUDE




ochahoe: do all teachers have access to this ?????


Hayley Kiyoko: this chat is fucking canceled


plain jane: Wait! Since you all are here, are you two really Shinsou’s parents???


Bass Boosted Screaming: Good question listener! Yes, he is our adopted son!


Albert Einstein: Aizawa is actually my uncle who took me in after my parents passed away


plain jane: Oh I’m sorry Shinsou


Albert Einstein: It’s fine, it was a long time ago

I hate this fucking family


Stop: I don’t tell you this enough, but your parents would be proud of you


Albert Einstein: I know, thanks


Bass Boosted Screaming: We are also really proud of you!!!! You’ll make a great hero!!!!!!


Albert Einstein: I know I don’t say it a lot either but I’m really glad you are the ones who took me in


Bass Boosted Screaming: we love ya kid <333


Stop: <3


Albert Einstein: this is too sappy for me but <3


Stop: by the way I guess we have to have the Talk with you don’t we


Bass Boosted Screaming: THATS RIGHT

Albert Einstein: o no



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wait does this mean that other teachers can just get into this chat??


50shadesfreed: ;)


StaticShock: o no


oneokrock: all our teachers know our kinks and what we talk about in our free time and I feel like I need to leave


MightyDad: I will admit I was, um, concerned with some things, but you all are teenagers so it is to be expected! :)


plain jane: All Might is that you?


MightyDad: Yes my boy!


ochahoe: jhsfvskjfvhkh


Yuzuru Hanyu: Is Midoriya your secret love child?


plain jane: brb going to throw myself off a building


                 @bakuhoe come kill me p l e a s e


bakuhoe: suffer


plain jane: this friendship is over


bakuhoe: were we ever friends tho


plain jane: I mean


bakuhoe: u kno what nvm


MightyDad: Young Todoroki, Midoriya is not related to me at all!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Damn, foiled again

road work ahead? yeah i sure hope it does


bakuhoe: someone come nap with me


Yuzuru Hanyu: omw


Albert Einstein: omw


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’ll get there faster


Albert Einstein: bet



oneokrock: bakubro are you ok??? I heard a hella loud crash come from ur room


bakuhoe: my boyfriends r just dumbasses that raced each other here then they both ran into my wall


BubblegumBitch: y’all so thirsty damn


bakuhoe: u also have two whole ass bfs


BubblegumBitch: damn u right


oneokrock: just try to keep it down bc I am very involved in this game rn




Yuzuru Hanyu: now Katsuki is really red and grumbling and despite how cute he looks I have to ask to refrain from teasing so we can sleep


ochahoe: ur such a good bf Todoroki, truly a romantic


plain jane: wait Kacchan I just thought of something

                  Shinsou hadn’t told his parents you guys were dating but have you even told yours?


bakuhoe: I swear to god if you tell the old hag I will murder you


plain jane: just wondering


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: why haven’t you told your fam yet?


bakuhoe: if they found out they wouldn’t shut up about it and try to spend as much time as they could with them


ochahoe: really??


plain jane: When we were younger his mom would always try and set us up despite the fact that Kacchan hated me


StaticShock: why tho


plain jane: there was a time when we were actually very good friends! His mom thinks he needs someone good in his life so that was me I guess


bakuhoe: fucc off


plain jane: I am stating straight #facts


Yuzuru Hanyu: Midoriya I suggest you run


plain jane: wh


Yuzuru Hanyu: he mumbled something about a damn nerd and then walked out of the room angrily

                         you didn’t heed my advice, you should have listened


Tsuboo: stop being so fucking ominous with sentences, if I hadn’t read the one before that I would be concerned


Iidad: You should be concerned regardless! Our classmates are fighting!


Hayley Kiyoko : can’t believe Midoriya is fucking dead


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: rip


oneokrock: Bakubro pls that’s my bf


ochahoe: they haven’t responded in a while are they ok?


Albert Einstein: o they’re fine. Aizawa texted me and said they are in the infirmary after they went to duke it out


BubblegumBitch: why are they always fighting I don’t understand


Albert Einstein: angry boy needs outlet for anger and stronk boy fights him bc friendship


BubblegumBitch: thank u for ur wisdom


Albert Einstein: Kirishima I’m bringing you ur bf but be careful cause they r both on some medicine that makes them loopy bc recovery girl wasn’t in

                          It is very not good considering Katsuki is still running on an hour of sleep and now he’s even loopier than before and I have already had to deal with getting the Talk from my parents who are also our teachers i am too tired


oneokrock: o boy


BublegumBitch: >:)


Albert Einstein: no


ochahoe: >:)))


Albert Einstein: N O

Chapter Text





ochahoe: he’s got those muscles why not use them




Tsuboo: stronk


oneokrock: I appreciate my strong bf greatly but he just seeing how many heavy things he can lift rn and he’s loopy so he tried to lift up a loaf of bread and dropped it so now he’s crying


ochahoe: why is he crying alufvsslvhlfdk


oneokrock: “I’m so sorry, you probably had a family and now you’re dead


ochahoe: sjgvjdffhshifh


plain jane: LISTF N


Iidad: Midoriya, please go get some rest! You’re body needs rest to heal!


plain jane: n o figt me


Tsuboo: he’s going through his rebellious phase


Hayley Kiyoko: was that a fucking explosion?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ….


StaticShock: ….


BubblegumBitch: ….

                            WE’RE SORRY


Hayley Kiyoko: what did you do???


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: well, Shinsou brought Bakubro and mido back and we were all chillin in kiris room but kiri had to go deal w his bf and we got bored so we kind of antagonized baku until he decided to explode us without our usual wall to defend us and we kinda took it too far


StaticShock: he singed my hair


Albert Einstein: it’s what u deserve

   Don’t leave out the part of why he blew y’all up. It’s bc you were clinging all over him and wouldn’t get off so he started to have a panic attack


BubblegumBitch: we’re really sorry we didn’t know that would happen! We’ll apologize when he’s back to normal


StaticShock: we’ll apologize first thing tomorrow, we really are sorry


Albert Einstein: you better or else I’ll get my bf to beat a bitch


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: which one


Albert Einstein: Shoto


Yuzuru Hanyu: If you do that again there won’t be a tomorrow :)


plain jane: O MY GOF


ochahoe: ???




StaticShock: the weed day?

plain jane: YESWHBSK


oneokrock: im confiscating his phone


ochahoe: Is Bakugou ok?


Albert Einstein: he’s fine he’s watching animal videos on youtube with Shoto


ochahoe: do you know why that happened?


Albert Einstein: yeah, we talked about it before but it’s all good now


oneokrock: WAIT


Albert Einstein: no




Hayley Kiyoko: would he really want a party?


ochahoe: he probably just wants to spend time with his bfs


oneokrock: we at least gotta have a cake!


Iidad: You are correct! We should at least have a cake for him!


Tsuboo: @The great british baking show


The great british baking show: what?

                                                  I’m on it


BubblegumBitch: Party party party!


Naked&Afraid: we should totally have a party!


Albert Einstein: If y’all rly wanna die then u do that


oneokrock: nice


Yuzuru Hanyu: I think we should let him rest because he watched a video of a cat and looked at me for a second before going “it you”


ochahoe: how loopy is bakugou


Yuzuru Hanyu: well once he calmed down he wouldn’t stop squishing my face while laughing so


Albert Einstein: I almost cried when I heard his laugh


ochahoe: mood


shroomqueen420: bakubroski laughs all the time????


Albert Einstein: you lucky bitch


BubblegumBitch: dont you and todoroki see him laugh all the time?


Albert Einstein: he doesn’t laugh a lot but he’s been smiling more


oneokrock: I’ve finally got my bf to calm down and sleep but Bakubro never laughs for us


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: we’ve seen him laugh once and I felt like I was blessed by god himself


Iidad: It is time for you all to sleep! It is getting late!


Tsuboo: whatever dad

Bootleg Avengers




StaticShock: happy birthday bro !!!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Happy birthday!!!


oneokrock: happy birthday best bro !


bakuhoe: who fucking told you that


oneokrock: definitely not Izuku,,,,,,


bakuhoe: ur boyfriend is fucking dead


oneokrock: you’ll have to fight me first


bakuhoe: done deal where tf r u


StaticShock: Baku no


bakuhoe: baku yes


BubblegumBitch: hoe


bakuhoe: living up to my name

                But absolutely no fucking party I’m dead fucking serious I’m leaving later anyway

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: did u two know it was Katsuki’s birthday


Stop: yes


Bass Boosted Screaming: yeah




Stop: he didn’t tell you?


Albert Einstein: n o


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta you were like that when we dated too. I had to find out your birthday from the school


Stop: you know my history of birthdays

         Maybe that’s why Bakugou didn’t tell you


Albert Einstein: I didn’t even think of that

Bakubros Bday Bash


Albert Einstein: guys what if Bakugou has a bad history of birthdays and he didn’t want us to know


plain jane: that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you guys


ochahoe: why doesn’t he celebrate his birthday?


plain jane: well it was actually a few years ago. I don’t wanna tell you it’s personal


oneokrock: ah man I feel bad now cause he told us earlier that he wasn’t gonna be here anyway


BubblegumBitch: planning is on hold

Happy birthday raven!


Albert Einstein: Katsuki, love, why don’t you wanna celebrate your birthday?


bakuhoe: cause I just don’t okay fuck off


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki you can tell us


bakuhoe: I’m not even gonna fucking be here today so there’s no fucking point


Yuzuru Hanyu: where are you going?


bakuhoe: not important


Albert Einstein: Katsuki if you don’t wanna tell us now that’s fine we’ll be here when you do


bakuhoe: thanks, I just want to be left alone today


Yuzuru Hanyu: consider it a birthday gift where no one will bother you


bakuhoe: thanks

Bakubros Bday Bash


Albert Einstein: cancel everything


oneokrock: ok ????? But why ?


Yuzuru Hanyu: He’s started that he just wants to be left alone. He even said thanks, twice


BubblegumBitch: yup everything is cancelled


plain jane: the cake is probably still fine to give him but no big party


Albert Einstein: I can’t believe we didn’t know his birthday then almost fucked it up by not listening and almost throwing him a party when he’s obviously going through something I’m such a terrible boyfriend


Yuzuru Hanyu: the only one who knows is Midoriya and he was hopped up on pain medicine no one could have known don’t blame yourself


Albert Einstein: but I should have noticed he’s obviously upset and I didn’t notice I should notice when one of my boyfriends is upset


Yuzuru Hanyu: I should have noticed too but sometimes we can’t figure everything out by ourselves that’s why we learn to help each other you can’t blame yourself Hitoshi


Albert Einstein: Thanks, where are you I’m coming over


Yuzuru Hanyu: my room, come cuddle with me and watch cat videos


Albert Einstein: I love you


Yuzuru Hanyu: <3


ochahoe: that was really sweet and gay but like don’t y’all have ur own chats


Albert Einstein: how bout u come say that 2 my face


Tsuboo: don’t tempt her


Albert Einstein: DO IT


plain jane: and


Albert Einstein: I can’t believe she actually came to Shotos room and looked me dead and the eyes and said “don’t y’all have ur own fucking chats” then walked out


Yuzuru Hanyu: she got u good


Albert Einstein: suddenly I have one bf and his name is Bakugou Katsuki

                         Stop trying to freeze me to the bed



oneokrock: rip Shinsou, a bro among bros





BubblegumBitch: DO IT SHINSOU


Tsuboo: it would be entertaining


Yuzuru Hanyu: u can’t use ur quirk on me if I reply in here


Albert Einstein: ur dead to me


plain jane: I really want to see someone do the chicken dance now


oneokrock: omw babe


StaticShock: ha gay


oneokrock: I mean u right


StaticShock: squad chicken dance in the common room


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’m IN



ochahoe: come to the common room if u wanna witness the bakusquad perform the chicken dance


Naked&Afraid: omw


Albert Einstein: can’t im still frozen to a bed


BubblegumBitch: kinky


Albert Einstein: it’s so cold


plain jane: Todoroki let Shinsou go


Yuzuru Hanyu: no


oneokrock: ;(


Albert Einstein: sup fuckers I got free


plain jane: how???


Albert Einstein: well I asked Shoto why he wouldn’t let me go and he answered me so now Imma make him do the chicken dance.


BubblegumBitch: n i c e


Albert Einstein: someone come record this


ochahoe: im ready


Hayley Kiyoko: shit i missed it pls send


ochahoe: u got it

                Sent 1 video


Hayley Kiyoko: kajskkfdjsnkvn


Bill Nye: pffft

Happy birthday raven!


bakuhoe: I’m back and I wanna tell you why I don’t celebrate my birthday anymore


Albert Einstein: as long as you comfortable with it


Yuzuru Hanyu: we’re here to listen


bakuhoe: I’m gonna do it over text because it’s fucking dumb and I should be over it.

                So my cousin died on my birthday in a freak accident when I was 12. We were really close despite her not living close to me. She had a really powerful quirk that was kind of like mine, we actually had planned out our future as heroes together. It was supposed to be a nice family gathering on my birthday that year and I hadn’t seen my cousin in a very long time so I was excited to see her but her family had gotten into a car accident on their way and they all ended up dying. It’s been really fucking hard on our family and I just couldn’t bring myself to celebrate a day when something so fucking awful happened. So every year me and my parents go visit their grave sites.


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki thank you for telling us but it’s not dumb it’s something that changed your life dramatically. It takes time.


Albert Einstein: is it ok if we come to your room?


bakuhoe: I’m a fucking mess


Yuzuru Hanyu: we don’t care. We’re here when you need us and I think you need us right now


bakuhoe: fuckig whatever do what you want


Albert Einstein: I’m bringing gummy worms cause I know u secretly love them


bakuhoe: fuck you


Albert Einstein: love you too <3



irlfurry: I am literally so tired. Why. Why do I come back from learning about eroticism in the paranormal to a documentary about Dick Cheney


StaticShock: why???? Were u learning ab eroticism in the paranormal ????


irlfurry: that’s information I can’t give out


StaticShock: I am Scared


irlfurry: so was I when I walked in and saw you guys huddled around a tv watching dick cheney conspiracies


oneokrock: he was up to something

Bakubros Bday Bash


Albert Einstein: we talked ab it and everything is good bring the cake to the common room bitches


BubblegumBitch: lit


Hayley Kiyoko: Why is this class filled with so many vine references?


BubblegumBitch: how so


Hayley Kiyoko: Mido walks up to baku and baku goes “so you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift” and mido goes “happy birthday?” then baku smashed a piece of cake on his face


ochahoe: I got a video of it


Albert Einstein: u guys wanna see smth funny?


StaticShock: always


Naked&Afraid: that was adorable


Gothbirb: what happened?


Naked&Afraid: Shinsou and Todoroki both grabbed Bakugous hands and were like “Ka~tsu~ki~” and Bakugou’s face got really red but then they kissed his cheeks and he’s now crouching with his hands covering his face


Gothbirb: damn that’s really gay


nest : you are literally cuddling me and making those cute noises as we speak


Gothbirb: don’t call me out like this


oneokrock: hOLY SH IT


Gothbirb: ???


oneokrock: Uraraka and Bakugou have a handshake


plain jane: it looks really complicated


Iidad: It was very impressive!


bakuhoe: we ain’t losers like y’all


ochahoe: it took us five tries to get it down


Albert Einstein: that took you five tries? Bullshit


bakuhoe: we’re just that fucking good


BubblegumBitch: the night is still young hoes! Whomst wants to see me eat five packs of fruit snacks at once


bakuhoe: weak


Albert Einstein: do not try to eat ten packs at once



Yuzuru Hanyu: I can’t believe I’m dating a human disaster


Albert Einstein: but we love him anyway


Tsuboo: gay

Chapter Text



Albert Einstein: I cut up fruit for you fuckers like the goddamn soccer mom I am and you disrespect me like this

                        Wrong fuckin chat Jesus CHRIST


ochahoe: what happened?


Albert Einstein: so me and my bfs whom I loved very much were gonna start a movie so I went and cut up some fruit right

                         so I come back and Katsuki looks me in the eyes, pulls out an orange, and then proceeds to bite into it like a fucking apple so I leave


ochahoe: he did that with a banana once too

               he was helping me with homework then he just pulls out a banana and doesn’t fucking peel it before monching away


shroomqueen420: dudes I remember once bakubaby brought a lemon to the extra lessons and monched it finna wig out the others ig


Albert Einstein: babe?????  Is this some kind of sick intimidation technique????


plain jane: that’s,,,,he did that when we were young,,,,


StaticShock: he what now


plain jane: he thought that peeling fruit was inconvenient and too hard to do


ochahoe: sksjdndndm

                Bakugou how come you never told me??????


bakuhoe: because you’re a fucking menace


ochahoe: ;^(


bakuhoe: no do not fucking bring those emoticons back I swear

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: my boyfriend eats fruit without peeling it and I need to know if he has sociopathic tendencies


Stop: there are no studies on that so ur fine


Albert Einstein: why do u kno that off the top of ur head


Stop: oranges aren’t that bad


Albert Einstein: Wh


                         Have you ever bit into an orange like an apple?????


Stop: That’s confidential.


Bass Boosted Screaming: yes he has


Stop: don’t expose me like this



StaticShock: sent a video


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: that’s just painfully gay


BubblegumBitch: is that ochako and tsuyu dancing together in the kitchen to I can’t help falling in love? THATS SO FUCKING CUTE


bakuhoe: they are always ridiculously lovey dovey


BubblegumBitch: since when??!!


bakuhoe: since fucking ever do u not pay fucking attention


plain jane: they just are more private with their relationship! Less pda which is uncommon in this class


Yuzuru Hanyu: Yes. It’s definitely a change from watching you and Kirishima cuddle each other all day


StaticShock: damn the shade thrower got even more shade thrown at him


Albert Einstein: he’s surprisingly good at that


oneokrock: ok back to the video cause it’s honestly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen asides from Izuku’s face


Hayley Kiyoko: ha gay


StaticShock: I literally watched you feed momo strawberries and kiss her before each one


Iidad: #exposed


Hayley Kiyoko: oh so now is when you stop lurking


Iidad: I enjoy participating in the chat sometimes!


ochahoe: u come on and meme, I’m so glad we’ve rubbed off on u


BubblegumBitch: ok but that little fucking twirl into a back hug?????? Softest fucking thing I’ve ever seen


Tsuboo: our gayness is too powerful for this class


ochahoe: we would kill you w our gayness


Hayley Kiyoko: I would love to die that way

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: Shouta u fool why did u almost leap out the window


Bass Boosted Screaming: you know how he has that presentation on all that boring stuff tomorrow?


Stop: Everyone thinks they’re so special well TOO BAD YOU ONLY GET ONE INTRO SLIDE


50shadesfreed: What


Stop: I’m presenting with idiots

         We have our own sections to talk about and I’m putting them together so there is some form of organization because that’s logical but these fools decide “I need a slide reintroducing myself after every fucking topic”

          Nah bitch fuck you u ain’t special


50shadesfreed: that’s rough buddy


Stop: sent 1 image

         look at this graph. Look at it then look at me. There are tears in my eyes it’s so bad


50shadesfreed: o,,,,o my god who made that,,,,that’s literally one line with no fucking words to show what it is




Bass Boosted Screaming: ew


50shadesfreed: makes sense


Stop: his graphs are as bad as his personality



oneokrock: ok so the squad went to the convenience store and as we were walking we passed a flyer for catholic school and hanta went “eijirou you better shape up or we’re sending you to catholic school” and without looking up from his phone katsuki goes “scared straight”


ochahoe: hagdskhsakdh


Tsuboo: why did sero say you needed to shape up?


BubblegumBitch: he stole some candy from the store




StaticShock: sure ok


oneokrock: it’s true!!


plain jane: I believe you


oneokrock: <3


plain jane: <333


ochahoe: wait I need to go back to the fact that all of you use first names for each other


StaticShock: bc our squad is tight as hell




bakuhoe: who are you again?


ochahoe: we have matching names babe pls


Albert Einstein: y she sayin that to my man


ochahoe: excuse me ??? :)))


Yuzuru Hanyu: nothing, please refrain from murdering my boyfriend


bakuhoe: is it really that big of a fucking deal?


ochahoe: !!!! yes !!!! we’re good friends whether you admit it or not

                I mean even kami sometimes gets to call you kacchan


bakuhoe: fucking whatever do what you what


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: he’s doing that tsundere blush

                                          Y’all kno the one that made todo fall for him


Hayley Kiyoko: i don’t think anyone would forget that tbh


Albert Einstein: ???????


plain jane: oh that’s right you weren’t in the class yet!


Tsuboo: Bakugou and Todoroki were talking about something before class and it made Bakugou do his blush and literally everyone in class saw the exact moment in class Todoroki fell for him


Albert Einstein: ha gay


Tsuboo: you are literally dating two men


Albert Einstein: you got me there

                         but also I’m actually really sad I missed that defining moment


Yuzuru Hanyu: we get to see him blush on a daily basis now


Albert Einstein: fuck ur right


ochahoe: kind of off topic but since we were on names I always hear you guys use pet names for each other and I have to know what your favorites to call each other are


bakuhoe: fuck off


ochahoe: pleeeeeaaaaaasssseeeee


Yuzuru Hanyu: I like to call Katsuki kitten and I like to call Hitoshi my flower I call them both love though


ochahoe: awww that’s adorable


bakuhoe: no the fuck it isn’t stop fucking exposing me like this


Albert Einstein: I call Katsuki firecracker and I call Shoto my flame but I call them a lot of other nicknames too


bakuhoe: I don’t call them shit


ochahoe: I don’t believe you


Albert Einstein: He calls us names in french and I don’t know what they mean so


Yuzuru Hanyu: he calls me mon étoile which means ‘my star’ and he calls Hitoshi mon ciel which means ‘my sky’


bakuhoe: I’m breaking up with you

                I have a reputation


ochahoe: I’m crying???? That’s so cute


Fuck off Janet


bakuhoe: Todoroki I am going to murder you


Albert Einstein: damn he pulled out the last name, but he ain’t goin anywhere he’s laying on me


Yuzuru Hanyu: but kitten you’re just so adorable


bakuhoe: ur dead to me


Yuzuru Hanyu: :(


bakuhoe: whatever, mon avenir




Chapter Text



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Can you guys believe that Todoroki caught on fire bc his bf told him smth gay in french


plain jane: absolutely


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: fair


Stop: can you kids go like one week without causing a disaster in the dorms


Albert Einstein: no


Stop: grounded


Albert Einstein: fuck


50shadesfreed: I could tell the kids plenty of stories from our year!


Stop: don’t do that


Bass Boosted Screaming: don’t do that


Albert Einstein: owo what’s this >:3c


Stop: grounded x2


Albert Einstein: dammit


50shadesfreed: ur aunt will tell u their stories if you want


Stop: y


50shadesfreed: bc I’m a good fucking aunt


Stop: ur not even his real aunt ur not related to him at all


50shadesfreed: Im never getting married or having kids let me have this


Stop: f i n e


StatcShock: this is surreal

Albert Einstein -> 50shadesfreed


Albert Einstein: what’s the scoop auntie


50shadesfreed: >:)

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: yeah you guys can’t say shit ab our class


Stop: goddammit

Pls MCR i am begging


Gothbirb: Bakugou could you paint my nails?


Hayley Kiyoko: can you paint mine too


bakuhoe: sure


Gothbirb: wow that took less convincing than I thought


Albert Einstein: it’s cause Shoto took his phone and sent it so now he’s grumbling while getting nail stuff together


plain jane: could he do mine too?

Albert Einstein: he said fuck off but he grabbed ur fav color so


oneokrock: wait bakubro I want my nails to match my adorable bf!!!


Hayley Kiyoko: gay


bakuhoe: gay


plain jane: !!!!! (〃ω〃)


oneokrock: that face is so cute im gonna die


bakuhoe: I’ll only paint ur fucking nails is u stop being so gross


oneokrock: :(


Hayley Kiyoko: then you can’t sit in todorokis lap as u paint nails


bakuhoe: u kno what no nail painting


plain jane: D:


Gothbirb: look u made him sad


oneokrock: I have to fight u for his honor


Albert Einstein: Shoto is carrying a pouting Katsuki to Jirou’s room as we speak



Stop: which one of u fuckers broke the front door


Iidad: It was me! My apologies!


Stop: no it wasn’t, tenya I wanna know


plain jane: did u just call Iida Tenya?


Stop: fuck


Albert Einstein: haha


Stop: I’m disowning you


ochahoe: why did you call him by his first name? I need answers!!!


Iidad: My brother was and still is a very good friend of theirs! They used to help babysit me!


ochahoe: that’s really funny oml


BubblegumBitch: What was baby Iida like ?????


Stop has left


BubblegumBitch: goddammit


Bass Boosted Screaming: ok kiddos which one of you did this property damage


Albert Einstein: how do we know it wasn’t you?


Bass Boosted Screaming: I’ve never caused property damage outside hero work


Albert Einstein: that’s not what I heard from auntie


Bass Boosted Screaming: understandable have a nice day son


StaticShock: I need answers what did he DO


Albert Einstein: :)


StaticShock: fuck you


Yuzuru Hanyu: that’s my job sorry


StaticShock: sdfjsfsdkjfh


ochahoe: I hate you jfskjdf


oneokrock: guys look!!!!

                   Sent 1 image


Naked&Afraid: aw ur matching !!! thats so cute !!


oneokrock: bakubro did it :’)


bakuhoe: don’t out me like this only few of you fuckers know


oneokrock: sorry bro but ur just so good at it!


BubblegumBitch: babes!!! Come to my room I want matching nails too!!!


StaticShock: HELL YEAH


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: can we do pink?


BubblegumBitch: I love you so fucking much Hanta


StaticShock: big mood

Two shots of vodka




50shadesfreed: yeah I saw that. Kid knows how to blackmail


Bass Boosted Screaming: WHAT STORIES DID YOU EVEN TELL HIM ?!?


50shadesfreed: All the times you broke the windows and more!


Bass Boosted Screaming: n o


50shadesfreed: Y E S


Bass Boosted Screaming: if I could scream for 20 min straight rn I would


50shadesfreed: u can’t do anything straight


Stop: rekt


Bass Boosted Screaming: I want a divorce


Stop: finally


Bass Boosted Screaming: no, wait


Stop: can u come sign these papers?


Bass Boosted Screaming: n o w a i t

How hasn’t UA burned


Chowder: I see you still haven’t found out who broke the door


Bass Boosted Screaming: my son is blackmailing me


Chowder: I know it’s entertaining. I have to give him more stories


Bass Boosted Screaming: N O


Stop: ha


Chowder: I’m sure he would like to know how in the middle of sparring sessions you weren’t even a part of you would take away other students quirks


Stop: anyway…


50shadesfreed: ha


Chowder: or how you would put your teacher to sleep to cheat on tests




Chowder: :)


deadmanwonderland: haha rekt


Chowder: o?


deadmanwonderland: I was never here


Stop: don’t be a fucking coward


Chowder: I could also tell Shinsou about all the property damage you caused and all the times you spray painted the walls


Stop: I’m on it no need to bring up my dark past like this



Stop: alright u little heathens who broke the door, fess up


plain jane: I did…


Stop: fucker


oneokrock: it was my fault he broke the door! I scared him and he ripped it off the hinges


Stop: since it was an accident I’ll let you both off this time


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta be careful ur heart might show


Stop: u still need to sign these papers




Albert Einstein: I wanna live with Nemuri


Bass Boosted Screaming: ur cold


Yuzuru Hanyu: no that’s actually me


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi I don’t like ur bf who raised him


Yuzuru Hanyu: speaking of, are any of ur friends looking to adopt


Stop: why


Yuzuru Hanyu: no reason just would like to feel parental love




Bass Boosted Screaming:

Two shots of vodka






50shadesfreed: brb adopting that poor hot and cold boy


Stop: do it


Bass Boosted Screaming: no balls won’t do it


50shadesfreed: bet

50shadesfreed -> Chowder


50shadesfreed: I’d like to cash in five of my ten favors


Chowder: OwO what’s this?

Chapter Text



Naked&Afraid: why did I just see Bakugou chasing Kaminari with a jug of apple cider????


Gothbirb: just heard Sero screaming “LEAVE THE FUCKING APPLE CIDER OUT OF THIS”


Albert Einstein: so a normal tuesday then


Gothbirb: yeah


Naked&Afraid: I feel as if I need to spend more time in the common room because WHY IS THIS NORMAL


oneokrock: the only thing not normal is Todoroki coming into the room crying


Albert Einstein: joeleth has finally perished


BubblegumBitch: who?


Albert Einstein: his succulent


Yuzuru Hanyu: he was fine yesterday I don’t understand


bakuhoe: joeleth has been dying for over a year


Yuzuru Hanyu: BUT HE WAS FINE


bakuhoe: denial


plain jane: Todoroki is that the plant I got for you?


Yuzuru Hanyu: no that one died days after, this is the one momo gave me


Bill Nye: bitch

              Apologies! Kyouka stole my phone

              We can get you a new one :)


Yuzuru Hanyu: I feel like I’m missing a piece of myself


Bill Nye: If it would make you feel better we could have a funeral?


Yuzuru Hanyu: thank you


Bill Nye: @everyone please be in attendance to remember one of our fallen friends, Joeleth. We will miss him dearly.

How hasnt UA burned


deadmanwonderland: r ur kids ok Aizawa?


Stop: probably not why


deadmanwonderland: because they are all gathered outside their dorm dressed in black crying over something on the ground


Stop: what


Bass Boosted Screaming: apparently a plant died and they r having a funeral for it?


50shadesfreed: yup definitely ur kids


Stop: listen


50shadesfreed: you had a funeral for hizashis broken glasses


Bass Boosted Screaming: THEY WERE A PART OF ME


Stop: why the fuck did Yaoyorozu just request to go shopping off campus after their funeral



Bill Nye: Todoroki and I are going out to get a new plant now! Would anyone like to come?


Hayley Kiyoko: I’ll come, I wanted to get Sarah a plant friend


Bill Nye: That’s a lovely idea!


Albert Einstein: I’m coming bc I just like looking at plants


BubblegumBitch: the squad can’t come bc we r having squad time


bakuhoe: fuck you


oneokrock: I still have those soft receipts


bakuhoe: fuck you I can’t go


Albert Einstein: ;(


Yuzuru Hanyu: 。・°°・(>_<)・°°・。


bakuhoe: if u start using those goddamn emoticons I’m breaking up with you


Yuzuru Hanyu:  (ง ͠° ل͜ °)ง


bakuhoe: Hitoshi is my only boyfriend now and I love him very much


Albert Einstein:   ヽ༼ຈل͜ຈ༽ノ


bakuhoe: I take it back I’m single now


shroomqueen420: damn bby u fine as hell


bakuhoe: now Camie is my my only significant other


shroomqueen420: I knew u would come round one day bakubabe


Albert Einstein: wait no


BubblegumBitch: Katsuki u can’t steal away my only squad gf


Yuzuru Hanyu: Camie it was lovely knowing you but I now have to kill you


shroomqueen420: damn bruh u needa take a chill pill


bakuhoe: why aren’t I actually dating you?


shroomqueen420: shit man idk cause u got two bfs


bakuhoe: yeah ur fucking right and I love them


Albert Einstein: ha gay


bakuhoe: we’re dating


Albert Einstein: still


ochahoe: why are u all such a mess


bakuhoe: who fucking knows


ochahoe: fair

               Blasty will you cook for me and tsu?


BubblegumBitch: babe!!! He can’t it’s squad night!!


ochahoe: oh yeah, dang :(


BubblegumBitch: I’ll have him make extra for you guys though <3


ochahoe: <333

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: How do you raise a son?


Stop: you didn’t


50shadesfreed: ;)


Stop: o my god HOW


50shadesfreed: I have a lot of favors to cash in


Bass Boosted Screaming: wh


50shadesfreed: I am officially Todoroki Shotos guardian now! :)


Bass Boosted Screaming: HOW???? DOES HE KNOW???


50shadesfreed: well you see Endeavor didn’t want this story getting out to the public so now I am his guardian we had a nice little chat and we came to an agreement


Stop: sometimes u amaze me


50shadesfreed: how do I parent


Stop: u try ur best and there’s lots of crying


Bass Boosted Screaming: there’s only a lot crying when they’re little but now u have to worry about them dating and I swear to go d if Todoroki hurts our boy there will be consequences


50shadesfreed: understandable have a nice day



Yuzuru Hanyu: Midnight is my mom now????


ochahoe: ??????


50shadesfreed: I am now legally Todoroki’s guardian! :)


Tsuboo: ???? how???


50shadesfreed: That’s not important !


Yuzuru Hanyu: I love my new parent


50shadesfreed: Now you have two moms!


plain jane: so you married Todoroki’s mother?


50shadesfreed: No ! But legally I am his only guardian now


Albert Einstein: now I can never call you auntie again


50shadesfreed: that’s fair


Albert Einstein: but you’ll still give me all the dirt on my dads right?


50shadesfreed: what kind of family friend would I be if I didn’t???


Albert Einstein: nice


plain jane: wait this reminds me, Kacchan have u still not told ur parents


bakuhoe: suddenly I can’t fucking read


plain jane: If you don’t I might let it slip to my mom and you know she’s such good friends with your parents


bakuhoe: you fucking wouldn’t


plain jane: try me bitch


bakuhoe: ….


plain jane: ….


bakuhoe: ….


plain jane: ….




plain jane: glad to hear it! Also I had to convince you because my mom called and I accidentally told her so u might wanna get on that


bakuhoe: ur fucking deAD

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: is there a dennys close to campus


Stop: its 2am


Albert Einstein: what’s ur point


Stop: u should be asleep why do u want to go to dennys


Albert Einstein: sometimes u just need to eat pancakes and cry


Bass Boosted Screaming:


Albert Einstein: Just kidding!

                         I would get waffles


Bass Boosted Screaming: he gets this from u


Stop: why do u say that


Bass Boosted Screaming: bc u literally dragged me to dennys ten minutes ago


Stop: sh u t


Albert Einstein: how could u betray me like this


Stop: ur like 12


Albert Einstein: good n i g h t

Chapter Text

Fashionably late


TJ Maxx: hey just so you know I have two boyfriends


Edna Mode: WHAT

                   AND I HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED????


blood orange: That’s great! How long have you been dating?


TJ Maxx: a few months


Edna Mode:


blood orange: Do we know them?


Edna Mode: no hold on

                    you’ve been dating TWO boys for a FEW months and didn’t tell us?


TJ Maxx: you might know them


Edna Mode: MONTHS




Edna Mode: is one that nice boy, Kirishima?


TJ Maxx: WH



Edna Mode: then who?


TJ Maxx: Todoroki Shoto and Shinsou Hitoshi


blood orange: pay up hon


Edna Mode: DAMMIT






blood orange: but I was still right!


Edna Mode: who would have thought you would have two boyfriends, came out of left field


TJ Maxx: I’m a fucking catch you old hag


Edna Mode: So you’ll be coming for dinner this weekend with them right


TJ Maxx: no


Edna Mode: that wasn’t a fucking question


blood orange: It would be great to meet them


TJ Maxx: I have to ask them if they would be ok with it


blood orange: I’m sure they will

Hi welcome to Chilis


bakuhoe: my shitty parents want to meet you and have you over for dinner this weekend


Yuzuru Hanyu: I think that would be lovely


Albert Einstein: Sounds good to me


Yuzuru Hanyu: I still don’t see why you didn’t tell them sooner


bakuhoe: you’ll see when you meet them, specifically my old hag


Albert Einstein: I think this will be interesting



bakuhoe: deku I am going to murder you


plain jane: so you told them I take it


bakuhoe: you’re dead to me


plain jane: but kacchan we’re supposed to be the wonder duo :(


bakuhoe: u betrayed me you broccoli lookin bitch


plain jane: :(


oneokrock: bakubro :( dont b mean to him


bakuhoe: I do what I want


oneokrock: I still have the soft receipts dont make me do this


bakuhoe: do it dont be a fuckingn coward


oneokrock: let me get Todoroki and Shinsou’s attention first

                   @Yuzuru Hanyu @Albert Einstein


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just saw Katsuki sprint out of the dorms????


Albert Einstein: O fuck yeah I love exposing my bfs soft side


oneokrock: “Do you think Todoroki knows how cute he is? It should be fucking illegal. Like ok icyhot your eyes sparkle like the stars in the sky and your voice sounds like a god WHATEVR”


Albert Einstein: ha gay


Yuzuru Hanyu: that’s so adorable Katsuki


ochahoe: the “WHATEVR” really got me


oneokrock: “I would kill for both of them”

                   Wait that wasn’t a soft one


ochahoe: very Katsuki tho


oneokrock: “His dumbass purple hair just looks so soft I just wanna run my fingers through his hair and tell him how much he means to me.”


Albert Einstein: I cant breathe thats so sweet and gay


ochahoe: I want more soft bakubabe !!!


bakuhoe has left the conversation




oneokrock: when did he learn to leave conversations????


StaticShock: I taught him cause he was threatening me earlier before all this to tell him


Albert Einstein: boo you whore


Yuzuru Hanyu: someone add him back so I can be gay on main


Albert Einstein added bakuhoe to the conversation


bakuhoe: fuck off


Yuzuru Hanyu: hey kitten I love you


bakuhoe: fuck oFF


Albert Einstein: where the fuck are you ur adorable when ur flustered and ur HIDING


bakuhoe: you’ll never find me bitch


Stop: he’s hiding in the teachers lounge


bakuhoe: no I’m not


Stop: he just left


Albert Einstein: we’ll find you katsuki


50shadesfreed: does my son want to find his boyfriend? I just passed him on the training grounds


Yuzuru Hanyu: please hold him there


50shadesfreed: of course son !

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: is this how to parent???? By helping my son???


Stop: I mean sure


Bass Boosted Screaming: you really don’t have to do much since Todoroki is in high school, just be nice to him and have a room for him when breaks happen


50shadesfreed: I FORGOT ABOUT THAT

                         Good thing I have an extra room in my apartment

50shadesfreed -> Yuzuru Hanyu


50shadesfreed: Todoroki! I have your boyfriend here, he wouldn’t stop struggling so I used my quirk on him to calm him down so come get him! Also we have to get you stuff for your room when you’re on break!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Thank you for getting him, though you didn’t need to put him to sleep. I don’t want to inconvenience you by living with you on the breaks


50shadesfreed: You are not an inconvenience, I would love to have you stay with me! But if you feel uncomfortable or don’t want to you don’t have to I just want you to have a place to come home to if you need it


Yuzuru Hanyu: Then I would like that, thank you.


50shadesfreed: !! When would you like to go fix up your room? I have a bed already so you can come see the room and we can go shop!


Yuzuru Hanyu: I would suggest this weekend but I am going to meet Katsuki’s parents


50shadesfreed: We can go next weekend if you’re up for it!


Yuzuru Hanyu: That sounds fine.

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: Me and todoroki are going to go plan how we are going to fix up his room next weeked, I feel like a mother now


Bass Boosted Screaming: Im proud of you


Stop: doing better than endeavor already


50shadesfreed: thats not very hard to do


Stop: true



Albert Einstein: sent 1 image

                         Apparently midnight used her quirk on Katsuki so now Shoto is carrying him back to the dorms bridal style


BubblegumBitch: thats adorable


ochahoe: babe will you carry me bridal style?


Tsuboo: I’ll carry you to the kitchen to get snacks for a movie night


ochahoe: it’s like you’re my soulmate


Tsuboo: <33


StaticShock: babes someone carry me bridal style


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’ll carry you both


BubblegumBitch: ahahaha ok babe you can try


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I can only carry one at a time


plain jane: I can carry you and Eiji


BubblegumBitch: You can?!


plain jane: Haha I could bench press you both :)


oneokrock: god that’s so hot


StaticShock: you’re on ur way to makeout w him rn aren’t you


oneokrock: wh

                   I mean yea but damn way to call me out


StaticShock: its just so easy bro


oneokrock: ok yeah thats fair bro


Albert Einstein: Katsuki just woke up in Shoto’s arms and almost exploded

                         HES SO FLUSTERED ITS SO FUCKING CUTE


ochahoe: good god just go makeout with him already


Albert Einstein: k bye

Fashionably late


TJ Maxx: what time do you want us for this shitty dinner


Edna Mode: be here 5:30 sharp or I’ll pull out baby pictures


TJ Maxx: fuck off



bakuhoe: 5:30 bitches be ready to go at 5


Albert Einstein: alright, luckily both my dads know you both so there’s no need for awkward meetings


Yuzuru Hanyu: same now I guess? But also Kayama asked me if I wanted to live with her on breaks and now we are going room shopping next weekend?


Albert Einstein: that’s great babe


bakuhoe: I’m kind of surprised that your dads haven’t tried to intimidate us yet


Albert Einstein: o they have you just can’t sense that little amount of danger


Yuzuru Hanyu: I am bad at reading signals so if they have tried to be intimidating I don’t know


Albert Einstein: I love you both so much


bakuhoe: gay


Yuzuru Hanyu: wh

Chapter Text

Fashionably late


Edna Mode: Just reminding you not to be late tonight


TJ Maxx: yeah whatever we wont be late


Edna Mode: Even if you’re one minute late the photobooks are coming out


blood orange: Honey we should ask those two if they would help model some clothes for us


TJ Maxx: dont fucking do that


Edna Mode: Oh we should! They are handsome boys!


TJ Maxx: N O


Edna Mode: Y E S

He just kept yoing


bakuhoe: are you heathens ready to go?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m nervous

 What if your parents don’t like me or I make a fool of myself?


bakuhoe: Babe they’ll love you, plus ur always a fool but I love you regardless


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’ve just never had to do something like this is all


Albert Einstein: We’ll be fine Shoto, you’re amazing there is no way someone would not love you


bakuhoe: we’re gonna be late hurry the fuck up


Albert Einstein: you’re pretty insistent that we aren’t even a minute late



bakuhoe: do y’all wanna make a good impression or not?


Albert Einstein: fair point, I’m in the common room and ready to go when you are


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m coming


bakuhoe: this is how I die



StaticShock: Hands are mainly used for masturbation like how weird is that


Hayley Kiyoko: Wh


                          They really aren’t


StaticShock: Yes they are


plain jane: n O


StaticShock: I have two thumbs

                    So obviously one of them must be made for masturbation


Hayley Kiyoko: wtf do u do w ur hands during the fucking day???


StaticShock: That’s a personal question

                    Maybe I draw hands


plain jane: ITS REALLY NOT U CAN JUST SAY “I use my phone” “eating food” “doing literally anything”

                  Can u rly


StaticShock: Yea

                     Im so good


ochahoe: U have a hand kink then?


StaticShock: No


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Bullshit


StaticShock: Hands are fucked up

                     Like what are nails


Gothbirb: Isnt it wild how nails grow


StaticShock: Why do we have little shitty bones growing out of our fingers


oneokrock: YES


                   SOMEONE GETS IT


StaticShock: They grow SO MUCH

                     Like WHY


Hayley Kiyoko: I need u to stop so I don’t have an existential crisis rn


Bill Nye: There is so much about the human body that is fascinating!


Hayley Kiyoko: babe I love you but fingernails are weird


Bill Nye: Is our first argument really going to be about fingernails?


Hayley Kiyoko: it could be if you want


Bill Nye: I’d rather have a Disney marathon with you


ochahoe: gay


Hayley Kiyoko: I know for a fact that ur on a date with Tsuyu right now

                        But movie marathon sounds good


Bill Nye: !! <3


Tsuboo: gay

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: I feel like a parent, Todoroki asked me what someone wears when they meet their partners parents for the first time. I might cry


Bass Boosted Screaming: oooooooo Hitoshi was panicking earlier about that


Stop: glad motherhood is suiting u


50shadesfreed: I’m so proud of him

                          I don’t know how you guys can go without gushing about Shinsou, I have been Todoroki’s guardian for under a month but I’m so proud of him


Bass Boosted Screaming: I guess you don’t listen to my radio show where I gush about him all the time, he’s got his own fans despite being on the show once


50shadesfreed: !!!


Stop: 50% of his show is talking about us


Bass Boosted Screaming: I love you two very much !!!! Of course I talk about you a lot !!!


Stop: gay


Bass Boosted Screaming: we have been married for 9 years


50shadesfreed: extra gay



Albert Einstein: what’s up sluts guess who has seen Katsuki’s baby pictures


ochahoe: omg


BubblegumBitch: pics or it didn’t happen


Yuzuru Hanyu: he told us he wouldn’t cook for us or kiss us for a month if we did


plain jane: good thing that I have a folder of blackmail then


bakuhoe: I will fucking end you


Yuzuru Hanyu: Midoriya you have baby pictures with Katsuki so if you just share yours and he so happens to be in it then that’s too bad


plain jane: you are so right Todoroki!

                   Sent 5 images




ochahoe: im gonna die over that holy s h i t


oneokrock: my heart

                    Izuku you’re so cute!!! <3333


plain jane: jsabdkjh


Tsuboo: how were y’all such cute children???


StaticShock: honestly tho I mean look at blasty smiling like that


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: it’s so pure I never see him smile


Yuzuru Hanyu: ???? He smiles all the time????




bakuhoe: Deku ur fucking dead


plain jane: u say that a lot for someone who never commits to it


ochahoe: damn that call out




Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki we aren’t even back at the dorms yet




Albert Einstein: U can’t fight in ur current clothes


oneokrock: bakubro chill out, we all love the matching all might shirts


bakuhoe: ILL KILL YOU


BubblegumBitch: get yo mans Shinsou and Todo


Yuzuru Hanyu: don’t worry after what Shinsou just told him he won’t be fighting anyone tonight


ochahoe: gross


Yuzuru Hanyu: ? he told him that we would watch more say yes to the dress?


oneokrock: o thank god


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: thank fucking god


The great british baking show: thank god


ochahoe: ajdhlajhlf Sato you lurker


The great british baking show: I lurk with purpose


Tsuboo: that’s fair


BubblegumBitch: I wanna know how meeting the parents went !!


Yuzuru Hanyu: It went fine


Albert Einstein: we were late and Shoto tripped when he was coming into the house and fell flat on his face


ochahoe: ahaha


plain jane: :(


ochahoe: I mean o no are you alright?


bakuhoe: then his nose started bleeding bc of the fall and I had to clean him up while Hitoshi was interrogated by my parents


Albert Einstein: They were actually really nice, I thought we got along well


bakuhoe: my parents really love Hitoshi


ochahoe: what about Todoroki


bakuhoe: they find him “endearing”


plain jane: Did they asked you to model


Yuzuru Hanyu: they did why?


plain jane: no reason, I was just curious bc they would always ask if I would model with him and I just wanted to know if they asked


Albert Einstein: he made us decline


bakuhoe: they can find actual models somewhere else


BubblegumBitch: h e’s jealous


bakuhoe: no the fuck im not


ochahoe: mina ur right, he doesn’t wanna share his bfs with the world


bakuhoe: shut ur fuck


ochahoe: make me


bakuhoe: that’s it, no one in this class is getting any of my food for the next month.


ochahoe: wait no


Yuzuru Hanyu: does this go for us as well?


bakuhoe: yes


Albert Einstein: fuck

Chapter Text



Albert Einstein: I can’t believe Katsuki was serious about not cooking for us


Yuzuru Hanyu: It’s only been a week


bakuhoe: it’s what y’all deserve


ochahoe: pls,,,I miss ur cooking


bakuhoe: fuck off



BubblegumBitch: bakubabe ur still cooking for our squad night right?


bakuhoe: no


StaticShock: please


bakuhoe: no, cause if I cook for u fools then those fuckers will want food


oneokrock: please!! We’ll make sure no one knows you cooked for us!!!!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: if ur bfs say something just go with the good ol fashioned “bros before hoes”


bakuhoe: FINE


BubblegumBitch: Y E S

Who ate my leftovers?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just realized that I am going to be alone with Midnight for a decently long time


Albert Einstein: rip


Yuzuru Hanyu: what are we supposed to talk about?


bakuhoe: talk about the room dumbass


Yuzuru Hanyu: but what about before we get to the room?


bakuhoe: I’m sure midnight will come up with shit


Yuzuru Hanyu: god this is like meeting ur parents all over again except I’m meeting with my own parent


Albert Einstein: Love you’ll be fine


Yuzuru Hanyu: Alright


bakuhoe: Nothing is as bad as when you answered all my old hags questions seriously, you’ll be fine


Yuzuru Hanyu: it wasn’t that bad…


Albert Einstein: she asked if we “ever have a little too much fun” and winked jokingly and then you said yes completely seriously


Yuzuru Hanyu: What and fucking LIE to her?


bakuhoe: we really don’t need to relive this I’m fucking begging


Albert Einstein: you’ll really be begging later ;)))


Yuzuru Hanyu: without me ;(


bakuhoe: I hate both of you so much Shoto never text like a straight white boy ever again


Yuzuru Hanyu: no complaints

                          I have to go meet midnight now I’ll talk to you later <3


Albert Einstein: <3


bakuhoe: ….




bakuhoe: Alright bitches you best be ready to guard the kitchen with ur goddamn lives


oneokrock: yessir!


BubblegumBitch: on it !!

Albert Einstein has added Yuzuru Hanyu, ochahoe, and 4 others to the chat!


Albert Einstein named the chat Cheating Hoe


Albert Einstein: Katsuki is cooking for his squad


ochahoe: excuSE M E


Albert Einstein: it’s they squad night right? And Katsuki normally tells me the stuff they r doing but it’s not adding up


Tsuboo: sus


Hayley Kiyoko: I’m on the case boss


Bill Nye: That’s my girlfriend! <3


Albert Einstein: not now lesbians ! We have a case 2 crack


Hayley Kiyoko: u either let me b gay or don’t get the info


Albert Einstein: understandable, continue then


Hayley Kiyoko: Anyway Momo <333


plain jane: wholesome


Yuzuru Hanyu: Hitoshi, if it’s true we go on strike


Albert Einstein: deal


ochahoe: well Jirou ???


Hayley Kiyoko: U won’t like the answer I’m about to give you, u might want to sit down


Albert Einstein: I need to hear it


Hayley Kiyoko: Hes cooking


Albert Einstein: GOD DAMMIT





BubblegumBitch: o no


oneokrock: o no


StaticShock: o no


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: o no


bakuhoe: o no


ochahoe: yo ur fucking dead just sayin rip


Iidad: Please refrain from fighting!!!


Tsuboo: Bakugou lied


Iidad: Resume !


ochahoe: djdjjfnfnnf


bakuhoe: H-Hitoshi it’s not what u think!


Albert Einstein: I won’t hesitate bitch


plain jane: o my fuckin god he fuckin dead


bakuhoe: I’ll kill you


Albert Einstein: Katsuki, do u wanna explain to the class why ur making food for ur squad rn when u said no one would get any


BubblegumBitch: the time has come


StaticShock: do it


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: do it


oneokrock: it’s time


Albert Einstein: ?


bakuhoe: bros before hoes


Albert Einstein: I




Yuzuru Hanyu: I cant even be mad at that right now, Midnight had to ask me what was so funny


50shadesfreed: it was rather amusing! Reminds me of the times that Hizashi used that on Shouta


Stop: stop telling them things


Bass Boosted Screaming: then Shouta would get pouty it was adorable


Albert Einstein: gross


Stop: agreed




Albert Einstein: ANYWAY BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND Katsuki, Shoto and I have said no more kisses for the rest of the month or until u cave and cook for us




bakuhoe: WHAT THE FUCK

                Also bc ur not part of the squad u fool


ochahoe: rood


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki I love your cooking and I will do anything to get it


bakuhoe: u fuckers will break before I do


Albert Einstein: bet


bakuhoe: ur on


plain jane: this can only end badly


Tsuboo: who wants to place bets message me


oneokrock: my money is on Bakubro


ochahoe: my money is against


bakuhoe: fuck you there’s three weeks left it’s not even a big deal


Albert Einstein: Fine then we’ll see

Albert Einstein -> Yuzuru Hanyu


Albert Einstein: I just realized we’re gonna die


Yuzuru Hanyu: I believe in us


Albert Einstein: Do u rly tho ?


Yuzuru Hanyu: no, Katsuki is so stubborn and will most likely outlast us. I give us two weeks before we cave at most


Albert Einstein: damn, well anyway I miss you and I hope ur having fun with Kayama <3


Yuzuru Hanyu: I miss you as well, we actually get along quite nice and her apartment is very nice. The room doesn’t really need much. See you soon <3


Albert Einstein: <3



bakuhoe: u fuckers did this


BubblegumBitch: are u sayin u can’t do it?


oneokrock: How unmanly, going back on ur word


bakuhoe: u just want to see me suffer


BubblegumBitch: actually it’s cause we all have money on u and if we win we’ll take u out for food


bakuhoe: deal


StaticShock: real talk tho how are u gonna survive


bakuhoe: I survived before I started dating them I can go three weeks


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: good point but here’s a counter: now u actually know what it’s like to kiss them and u can’t have that for three weeks


BubblegumBitch: I would die if I had to go three weeks without kissing Hanta or Denki


bakuhoe: weak ass hoes


BubblegumBitch: >:/

Chapter Text

shroomqueen420 -> bakuhoe


shroomqueen420: So I’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties


bakuhoe: sgkjs

                fucking w ha t


shroomqueen420: I was sittin there BBQ sauce on my tatas baku keep up


bakuhoe: why the fuck was there bbq sauce there


shroomqueen420: o yeah lmao

                              Well me and Inasa were eatin lunch and then his girl walked by and o ma gooood she was so fkin cu te an my got damn piece of chicken fell on my Danny Devitos man I looked like a mcfricken f o o l


bakuhoe: ur fucking what now

                you call ur boobs ur Danny Devitos????


shroomqueen420: yeah


bakuhoe: god I hate you


shroomqueen420: <333       



BubblegumBitch: I’m trying to have a nice breakfast with my two wonderful bfs but they keep spacing out

                           Hanta: wow that’s an egg

                           Denki, nods a little: it sure is


bakuhoe: when Hitoshi turned on his printer he whispered good morning to it


Tsuboo: I feel like half our class is dead today


bakuhoe: shoto just walked in my room, said very fucking confused “this isn’t the downstairs” and left


BubblegumBitch: bakubabe it’s our date day since our bfs are dead ur now my boyfriend for the day


ochahoe: how is he gonna agree to that


bakuhoe: sure


ochahoe: what fucking world am I in


plain jane: Japan


ochahoe: goddammit not you too


Hayley Kiyoko: U2 hacked my iphone and gave me a free album


Bill Nye: oh no

How hasn’t UA burned:


Stop: what the fuck is wrong with half my class


deadmanwonderland: I was gonna ask the same thing because I was taking role and instead of saying here or whatever, Shiozaki said “photosynthesis” and just didn’t stop mumbling it to herself


Stop: o thank god my kids aren’t the only ones messed up


Bass Boosted Screaming: I ran into Jirou this morning and all she said to me was “purple isn’t even a real color” and honestly, that changed me


Mighty Dad: I ran into young Midoriya today! I tried to ask him a question but he continued him mumbling and mentioned something about a mothman?


Stop: listen he’s out there


Bass Boosted Screaming: I am not having this conversation again


Stop: Hizashi you can’t hide from the fucking Truth


Bass Boosted Screaming: THERE IS NO TRUTH


Stop: I got into a knife fight with mothman at 3am behind a Roy Rogers and u have the fucking audacity




Stop: where’s the fucking proof


Bass Boosted Screaming: sent 1 video


Stop: o


50shadesfreed: ohohoho


Stop: dont u fucking DARE


Bass Boosted Screaming: that was such a big mistake


Stop: my life is a mistake


Bass Boosted Screaming: o? Big mood


Stop: ….


Bass Boosted Screaming: :)


Stop: date night?


Bass Boosted Screaming: I love you so much


kirbysucc: gay


snip snipe: gay


Stop: did u come online just for that


kirbysucc: yes


snip snipe: yee


Stop: understandable have a nice day



ochahoe: holy shit it really seems like katsuki and mina are dating


Tsuboo: I know it’s almost scary


oneokrock: honestly if she didn’t go after hanta and denki then she would probs be dating bakubroski


ochahoe: damn she got too much power


nest: ok enough what the fuck is going on


ochahoe: ?


nest: half the class is spacing out and Ashido is wearing Bakugou’s jacket and clinging on him I’m so confused


ochahoe: I have no other way to explain this other than to go read the chat from this morning


nest: hhhhhhhhh


Tsuboo: I understand the pain


nest: I am still very confused why everyone is acting like this cause my bf woke up this morning and walked into a wall, twice


ochahoe: no one knows


nest: damn


ochahoe: that’s it mina has too much power if she is allowed to push back bakubabes hair and kiss his forehead


Tsuboo: but it was really adorable


ochahoe: tru, babe do u think he’d let me do that?


Tsuboo: go try

              I dare you


ochahoe: I love when you get feisty


Tsuboo: only for you <3


ochahoe: <333 !!!!


oneokrock: ha gay


Tsuboo: I mean yeah


oneokrock: o my go d


Tsuboo: bakugou really let her do that


nest: what kind of weird parallel universe are we in


BubblegumBitch: baku has been a grump recently cause his bfs won’t smooch him and he needs attention. We r the same


oneokrock: tru he is like a cat


bakuhoe: thought yall were talking shit and I was right


ochahoe: u let me kiss ur forehead


bakuhoe: hoe


ochahoe: ur words can’t hurt me these shades r gucci


shroomqueen420: damn i wanna smooch smorch ur forehead bakudaddy


ochahoe: BAKUDADDY


oneokrock: I’m


Tsuboo: n o

              Absolutley no daddy kinks in my good hero chat


oneokrock: midnight would most likely disagree


50shadesfreed: that is a conversation u kids r not allowed to touch with a ten foot pole :)


oneokrock: understandable have a nice day


bakuhoe: my dumb bfs are cursed today with half the fucking class and u know what fuck it I DO LIKE THEIR GODDAMN ATTENTION AND I MISS IT SINCE IT HAS BEEN A WEEK INTO THE BET AND I CANT KISS THEM BUT DONT FUCKING CALL ME THAT EVER AGAIN


BubblegumBitch: o my god


oneokrock: it happened


ochahoe: he snapped


bakuhoe: fuck off


ochahoe: never


oneokrock: did u guys just hear what Iida said


ochahoe: Im fucking dying


nest: ??


oneokrock: I go to bother bakubro and ask “what does the ‘m’ in ‘smexy’ even mean?” and Iida looks at me and goes “m stands for slope”

                   Like yeah, you got it man


Tsuboo: truly a man of knowledge

I hate this fucking family


Stop: Hitoshi, I need to talk to you


Albert Einstein: Ok hold on. I can’t find my phone


Stop: ok


Bass Boosted Screaming: It’s been 15 minutes


Stop: You’re a terrible son. You’re killing me, you know. You’re killing your father


Albert Einstein: this is fucking star wars


Stop: I hate today

Chapter Text



Iidad has changed bakuhoe -> bakudaddy


bakudaddy: ur fucking dead to me round face


ochahoe: how do u know it was me


bakudaddy: who else could bribe glasses like this


ochahoe: wait I have more bribes


Iidad changed Yuzuru Hanyu -> todobaby


Iidad changed Albert Einstein -> alpha daddy


bakudaddy: literally what the fuck


ochahoe: now u all match :’)


alpha daddy: op do u take constructive criticism?


ochahoe: absolutely fucking not


alpha daddy: u really should


StaticShock: I mean it fits cause at least one of you must have a daddy kink


todobaby: Surprisingly none of us do


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wow I’m impressed


ochahoe: im surprised


Stop: yeah me too


alpha daddy: o hell no no nope no no nah no


Stop: do u all forget that the teachers are in here when u talk about this shit?


alpha daddy: Iida change back my fucking name


Iidad: I am sorry but I am unable to do that!


alpha daddy: Uraraka I am going to murder you


ochahoe: try me bitch


Tsuboo: my gf senses tingled Shinsou u wanna fucking throw down man?


alpha daddy: yeah kinda


Tsuboo: Finally someone wants to fight and I can now properly defend my gfs honor


alpha daddy: wanna meet me at the training grounds in like 10?


Tsuboo: sure


bakudaddy: my dumbass bf is gonna lose


ochahoe: fighting for my honor, how romantic


BubblegumBitch: how comes u two dont fight for my honor


StaticShock: cause I would get my ass beat


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: same


BubblegumBitch: ur right I would have to fight for ur honor


oneokrock: I would fight for u babe


plain jane: I would fight for u too


oneokrock: my bf is so manly


plain jane: <3


todobaby: katsuki would you fight for me


bakudaddy: no


todobaby: :(


bakudaddy: you can handle yourself fine but I’ll probably have to go fight frog girl cause she’s gonna wipe the floor with our bf


todobaby: honestly that’s such a katsuki thing to say and I love you so much


bakudaddy: really u gonna have me expose my soft side right here


todobaby: I mean if you don’t wanna…


bakudaddy: I have a fucking reputation


todobaby: it’s fine if you don’t...


bakudaddy: ….

                    I love you too


oneokrock: gay


ochahoe: gay


plain jane: gay


StaticShock: gay


Hayley Kiyoko: gay


Bill Nye: gay


BubblegumBitch: gay


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: gay


Gothbirb: gay


nest: gay


irlfurry: gay


Naked&Afraid: gay


The great british baking show: gay


honhonbaguette: gay


Iidad: gay


^-^: gay


bakudaddy: literally fuck you all


ochahoe: sorry I’m not into that


BubblegumBitch: damn


alpha daddy: hey lads just got my ass kicked


ochahoe: yeah bakubabe was right


alpha daddy: did u say I would lose?


bakudaddy: yeah


alpha daddy: good call, did u at least bet and get money


bakudaddy: we didn’t get to that they were all calling me gay


alpha daddy: wh



bakudaddy: literally why am I dating you


alpha daddy: cause u love me


bakudaddy: I am not saying it cause then these fuckers will win


alpha daddy: :/


bakudaddy: fine i love you u brat


oneokrock: gay


ochahoe: gay


plain jane: gay


StaticShock: gay


Hayley Kiyoko: gay


Bill Nye: gay


BubblegumBitch: gay


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: gay


Gothbirb: gay


nest: gay


irlfurry: gay


Naked&Afraid: gay


The great british baking show: gay


honhonbaguette: gay


Iidad: gay


^-^: gay



BubblegumBitch: just checking in but how is the bet so far


bakudaddy: mind ur fucking business


oneokrock: they keep kissing in front of him and he’s getting irritable


bakudaddy: SHUT THE FUCK


StaticShock: you can come kiss us if u want blasty


bakuhoe: ew


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wow


BubblegumBitch: u weren’t complaining when I kissed ur forehead


bakuhoe: choke


BubblegumBitch: stop calling out my kinks :///

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: just out of curiosity but you guys never told me how you got together


Stop: that’s not important


Bass boosted Screaming: you don’t really need to know how, just that we still love each other very much


Albert Einstein: there’s a tally in the teachers lounge of how many times a day Aizawa says he wants to divorce you


Bass Boosted Screaming: it has the intention of love


Stop: we aren’t going to tell you


Albert Einstein: fine


Stop: don’t do what I think you’re going to do


Albert Einstein: too late


Stop: damn



bakudaddy: pikabitch I’m telling you that Shoto doesn’t fucking know what bofa is


todobaby: bofa????


StaticShock: o no


alpha daddy: babe d o n t


plain jane: I can’t watch this go down


todobaby: what is bofa ????


bakudaddy: I literally cannot do this I can’t fucking be the one to do this


ochahoe: bofa deeZ NUTZ


alpha daddy: o my fucking god


todobaby: I


nest has left the conversation


Gothbirb: not on my fucking watch I suffer you suffer


Gothbirb has added nest to the conversation


alpha daddy: I am going to change the subject now

                     Anyone wanna hear the real story of how my dads got together??


plain jane: anything for a subject change


alpha daddy: So I asked Kayama


Stop: stop


Bass Boosted Screaming: don’t


50shadesfreed: ;)


alpha daddy: So apparently one day Yamada was walking in the hall and tripped over fucking nothing when he saw Aizawa with his capture weapon cause he’s that much of a disaster pan and then Aizawa used his capture weapon to keep him from hitting the floor


Stop: where the fuck are you


Bass Boosted Screaming: I am going to yELL


alpha daddy: Yamada then yelled out a love confession loud enough for like half the school to hear which caused Aizawa to drop him and then land on top of him, according to Kayama these were the words said: “how the fuck do you trip over nothing” “god please fucking date me”


Stop: hhhhhhhhhhhhhh


Bass Boosted Screaming: AAAAAAAAAAAA


alpha daddy: Realizing what he did with his crush on top of him he screamed and broke all the windows in the schoolafjhajfjaljf


ochahoe: he told us that story and died, he did it for us


BubblegumBitch: He will be forever missed


StaticShock: his bravery will not go unnoticed


bakudaddy: rip in piece, thot

Chapter Text



ochahoe: can’t believe mic is still screaming


alpha daddy: I can


Stop: I can


ochahoe: understandable have a nice day


BubblegumBitch: how is the bet going guys?


bakuhoe: fucking fine


Yuzuru Hanyu: fine


Albert Einstein: fine



BubblegumBitch: how are u really


bakuhoe: dying


oneokrock: but for real bro are you ok? You seem angrier/sadder recently


bakuhoe: im fucking fine


StaticShock: so what is the truth


bakuhoe: alright fuckers leave me alone I’m going to the store

I hate this fucking family


Stop: ok Hitoshi, I need this stupid bet to stop between your boyfriends


Albert Einstein: I don’t know what u mean


Stop: I have eyes and was there when u made the bet


Albert Einstein: ok and what about it


Stop: you are all distracted and if it doesn’t end soon it’ll start affecting your grades and Bakugou has been a lot more irritable it’s not good for you all


Albert Einstein: but it’s only one more week


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi trust us, it’s the last thing you guys need. Plus in the future if you do something like this when you’re in the field you might regret it


Stop: especially since your class has the biggest problems involving villains, especially Bakugou. There’s no time to be petty like this you should be enjoying each other


Albert Einstein: you’re right, I should go talk to him thanks guys. I don’t really know what I’d do if something happened to him.


Bass Boosted Screaming: we love u !!


Stop: yeah I guess


Albert Einstein: y’all r pretty ok



alpha daddy: has anyone seen Katsuki? He’s not answering and his door is locked


ochahoe: I haven’t sorry


oneokrock: we haven’t seen him either, last time we talked to him was right after class


nest: sorry I haven’t


Naked&Afraid: me and Ojiro haven’t seen him


Hayley Kiyoko: we haven’t seen him


todobaby: Hitoshi I’m sure he’s fine he’s probably sleeping


alpha daddy: yeah you’re right ok I’ll try a little later


todobaby: what’s wrong love


alpha daddy: Nothing I was talking to aizawa earlier and my mind jumped to worst possible scenarios sorry


todobaby: don’t be sorry for worrying we’ll check on him in an hour ok?


alpha daddy: yeah ok

every villain is lemons


imfeelingstabby: can I see Bakuchan now? Pls


Handy: no


imfeelingstabby: :(


Handy: Fine but don’t do anything to him, he’s a valuable asset


True Hoe: Don’t ask us to untie him again, it didn’t work out well the first time



    We already tried once what’s different this time???


Handy: What’s different is all might is done and the reason he wanted to be a hero is gone


True Hoe: so


Handy: So all might didn’t actually win, he lost and we might be able to recruit him


imfeelingstabby: can I pleaseeeee prick him


Handy: no

            Well, maybe later it could be useful


True Hoe: it is true that the politics around heros have been changing, you might be onto something u crusty bitch


Handy: I run this organization of course I know what I’m doing


Doublepopsicle: debatable


Shizuo: He has been running this organization nicely for a while


True Hero: when did this kid become a sassy bitch?

                  I was talking to knife girl and I made a comment about him and he goes “what are you gonna do? Stab me?”


imfeelingstabby: I laughed




Shizuo: It has been reported that the hero Hawks is working to find Bakugou


Handy: that could cause issues


True Hoe: yikes o no


Handy: I swear if you type what I think


True Hoe: may or may not have slept with him


Handy: can I fire him?????


Shizuo: no


True Hoe: he was a really good lay tho


Handy: I don’t need to know this


True Hoe: a good hate fuck


Shizuo: I take it back we can fire him


True Hoe: what r u gonna do? Stab me?


Handy: goddammit. Listen it’s just a few of you there since I have to take care of things elsewhere with Kurogiri just don’t fuck this up


imfeelingstabby: Got it !!

                             But he has been pretty explodey…


True Hoe: how his restraints haven’t blown off is a goddamn miracle

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: Can one of you open Bakugou’s door? We haven’t seen him since class and he’s not answering us and I’m worried. He went out for groceries right after class by himself but you know that


Stop: sure I’ll be right over

How hasn’t UA burned


Stop: we have a very big problem


50shadesfreed: what is it?


Stop: no one can find Bakugou and he’s not in his room


Chowder: oh dear not again




Stop: whoa there clam down with that


Bass Boosted Screaming: it’s true and you know it


50shadesfreed: All the kids must be worried we need to make sure they don’t run off like last time


Chowder: let me add someone who might help us!


Chowder added Turkey Leg to the conversation!


Turkey Leg: Yo wtf is this


Chowder: we were wondering if you could help us find one of our students, Bakugou Katsuki


Turkey Leg: I might be able to help, isn’t that that angry kid that’s interning for Miruko?


Stop: do you know where he could be or not?


Turkey Leg: Toko was right, you are such a dad now

                    Anyway, I don’t have any info but there was some movement with the league I’ll keep in touch with whatever info I get

                    Also just read up and future son in law? He’s like 17




Turkey Leg: woah dude cool down there, just sayin he’s real young to b thinkin of that. anyway I heard that there was some strange activity around the school, someone apparently reported hearing explosions and went to the police about it so start there


Chowder: thank you for the help! Please keep us updated with anything you figure out!


Turkey Leg: no problem prez

                    See ya around sensei, I’ll find ur future son in law


Bass Boosted Screaming: thank u


Turkey Leg: no the other sensei


Stop: thanks

I hate this fucking family


Stop: Hitoshi I swear to god if you and other students leave


Albert Einstein: we have our hero licenses, we could just stumble upon something


Bass Boosted Screaming: don’t


Albert Einstein: :)


Stop: who went with you other than todoroki


Albert Einstein: :))))


Bass Boosted Screaming: ur grounded

UA is currently burning


Stop: another problem


MightyDad: The kids went to look for him didn’t they


Stop: how did you know?


MightyDad: Young Midoriya went with them. He said they were going for ice cream


50shadesfreed: who went???!!


MightyDad: Midoriya, Shinsou, Todoroki, Kirishima, Jirou, and Yaoyorozu


Stop: If they don’t die I’m going to murder them


Turkey Leg: You got ur hands full with this class huh


Stop: you don’t even know


Bass Boosted Screaming: did you get any information?


Turkey Leg: we got an address if you want to go scout it but no promises

                     Apparently there have been reports of loud noises sounding like explosions so

                     I mean that sounds like ur kid


Stop: good enough for me, Hizashi we’re going


Bass Boosted Screaming: I hope we get Bakugou back before the kids find where he is

Chapter Text



Stop: everyone involved in trying to find Bakugou will be punished accordingly. I don’t care if you have your hero licenses, you’re still students of UA.


Iidad: I am very sorry for their behavior!


Stop: If the media somehow finds out that this happened then things will get difficult and it doesn’t help that we now have students going out looking for trouble. All the students should now remain in the dorms, no one is allowed to go anywhere else.


Iidad: Understood!

1A minus the FOOLS


ochahoe: I wonder if they’re ok


BubblegumBitch: none of them are answering so we can only hope they are more focused on finding Bakugou and not actually fighting


ScothTapeExtraordinare: why does our class have such shit luck with these things


Iidad: I do not know!


ochahoe: u get no say in that


Iidad: It was two times...


StaticShock: all we can do now that aizawa has us on lockdown is play video games and worry


Gothbirb: are you playing mario cart?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: super smash bros


nest: where?


StaticShock: common room


Tsuboo: some worried smash bros?


BubblegumBitch: yee


ochahoe: I’m in


Iidad: Are you sure that this is the best choice? We have classmates out there who have not answered us


ochahoe: I can hear you pacing from ur room


Iidad: I am just worried! You now how impulsive they can be, especially Midoriya


Gothbirb: Yaoyorozu is with them and likely keeping everything calm


Iidad: I suppose so...I am just worried is all.


ochahoe: come play with us and maybe it’ll take your mind off things


Iidad: Okay I will be down then.

They had gone to the store that Bakugou had most likely gone to before not coming back. They were worried and they asked All Might’s permission to go ‘get ice cream’ so technically they were allowed outside the dorms. Of course him and Todoroki decided to go look for Bakugou, but Midoriya and Kirishima wanted to find him too. There was really no explanation needed for those two, Midoriya is his childhood friend and Kirishima is his best friend. What was a surprise was that Jirou and Yaoyorozu chose to join them. Jirou said that Bakugou had helped both of them out a lot in the past year and they needed someone with a quirk that might actually be able to scout for them.

“Do you think if we didn’t have this stupid bet then Katsuki wouldn’t have gotten taken?” Shinsou asks, voice barely above a whisper. He hasn’t been able to stop thinking about how none of this would have happened if they weren’t so stupid and started the bet. “I mean he has been kind of avoiding us for the past two weeks and he’s been isolating himself a bit and if one of us were with him then-”

“Okay stop. None of that.” Todoroki said, effectively cutting him off.

“I just, he’s gone Shoto.” He said and Todoroki wrapped his arms around him in an attempt to calm him down.

“The last time he was taken it was right in front of my face and I couldn’t do anything. He was right there but I couldn’t reach him. But we got him back, just like we’ll get him back this time.” He could feel Todoroki tighten his hold and he did the same.

“We don’t have any idea where he might be.” Shinsou said and tried to hide his face in the crook of Todoroki’s neck. How did they all deal with this before? He couldn’t imagine Bakugou disappearing right in front of his eyes. He can’t even take knowing that Bakugou was kidnapped. He didn’t want to think about how Bakugou must be feeling. They had got him to talk about the first kidnapping and were surprised that Bakugou had been keeping all of what he felt just bottled up. They had all been working through things together. They were getting better together.

“Guys we just need to calm down and think this through.” Midoriya said as he placed a hand on Shinsou’s shoulder. He took a deep breath before removing his face from Todoroki’s shoulder. Midoriya is probably just as worried as him and Todoroki are and he was right. They just need to think it through and find some kind of lead.

“You’re right, sorry I just started to lose it there for a minute.” He said as he detached himself from his boyfriend.

“Don’t be sorry, we know you’re just worried. We’ll find him.” Yaoyorozu said as she made a handkerchief for him. He hadn’t even realized there were tears on his face.

“Thanks. You’re right, we’ll find him. Or hopefully Aizawa does before anything bad happens.” He said as he took the handkerchief and cleaned up his face. Everything would turn out okay. It was going to be fine.

“Uh guys...” Jirou said as she had her jacks on the side of a building. “I think Bakugou is somewhere around here.”

UA is currently burning


Stop: The building has villains in it but we don’t know if Bakugou is in there


Turkey Leg: I’m on my way

                    I’ll bring someone with a reconnaissance quirk to see if he’s in there

                   Also question why tf did u guys bring me into this???


Chowder: Because you are the highest ranking pro hero!


Turkey Leg: But I’m not ??? the old geezer is


Chowder: I do not know who you are talking about :)


Turkey Leg: uhhhh that Todoroki kids dad?


50shadesfreed: He doesn’t have a father, I’m one of his mothers!


Turkey Leg: I’m confused as fuck but

                   Cheers bro I’ll drink to that

Stop -> Bass Boosted Screaming


Stop: It only seems like there are two of them???


Bass Boosted Screaming: Yeah it’s weird, shigaraki isn’t even here


Stop: Hawks should be here soon w someone more suited to figure out who exactly is in there


Bass Boosted Screaming: good, hopefully Bakugou is in there and this thing won’t be a huge deal


Stop: I can hear the press now. Student abducted due to faculty neglect


Bass Boosted Screaming: they would make it sound worse than that an u know it


Stop: that’s tru

         I’m just worried about Bakugou and the kids right now

         They have experienced too much for only being second years


Bass Boosted Screaming: I know, they shouldn’t have to worry about being kidnapped when they go to the store

                                        They’re just kids

                                        But you know you have been through it all with them. I don’t care that it’s your job, it still affects you too


Stop: I          

         Hawks is here we should get moving


Bass Boosted Screaming: yeah, also


Stop: ?


Bass Boosted Screaming: I love you


Stop: I love you too





Bass Boosted Screaming: o my god it is


Stop: I am grounding them all for eternity


Bass Boosted Screaming: that’s fair

“I think this is the building.” Jirou says as they start to walk around the perimeter of said building. They had strayed away from the city a bit and the building seemed abandoned.

“Okay goo- is that Aizawa and Yamada?” Shinsou asks as they round a corner and he sees his two dads crouched at the other side of the building.

“At least we know we’re at the right place then.” Todoroki said.

“Jirou are you sure that Kacchan is in there?” Midoriya asked and Jirou put her jack to the building. It was silent for a few minutes before she nodded her head. Shinsou tried to follow Midoriya’s mumbling but it was no use with how quiet and fast he was talking. “That’s it! Come on.”

Just as Midoriya started to put the plan he had formulated in his mind, something restrained everyone. Shinsou was honestly surprised by how Aizawa had enough capture weapon to hold six people. Never underestimate a pro hero. They all looked over and both he and Yamada looked pissed. They were so dead.

“Hey dad, hi dad.” Shinsou says.

“You kids are in so much fucking trouble. We have this handled. Go back to the dorms.” Aizawa said.

“But you two don’t have any back-up.” Todoroki stated as he tried to freeze the capture weapon but was stopped because of Aizawa’s quirk.

“Kids, we appreciate the thought, really. But we have Hawks and another hero coming right now.” Yamada said and nudged Aizawa to let go of the students.

“But we have our licenses and have been interning we know what hero work is like, we can help.” Midoriya said as the restraints were released. “I can’t just let Kacchan go without even trying.”

“It’s one thing if it’s a villain you come across or working at your internship. You’re still students and have to live up to the name of UA. Did you also think about how Bakugou would feel about this? He’s a good hero already and you all coming after him might not make him the happiest despite how he’s changed since last year.” As soon as he finished his sentence blue flames poured out of the building.

“You all talk way too much.” Shinsou could see a man with what looked like dead skin all over his body. So this was Dabi. He only knows this from what Todoroki and Bakugou have told him, it was his first time actually seeing him. “I see some familiar faces, some not.”

“Dude I think you should chill .” A voice from the sky said.

“God?!” Kirishima asked and looked around confused as Hawks landed in front of them with another pro. Dabi and Hawks had froze when they saw each other and Shinsou swears he heard Hawks whisper ‘oh no’ under his breath.

“Well, I guess I bought enough time for that girl to drain him.” Dabi said before he let out more flames and disappeared back into the building. Drain him? What the fuck does that mean? He heard Aizawa yell to stay where they are and he followed Dabi into the building with the rest of the pros leaving them alone.

UA is currently burning


50shadesfreed: I hope they are ok they haven’t responded in a while


Chowder: we should have faith in them! There are 4 pros and one of them is the number 2 hero!


50shadesfreed: know how self sacrificing Shouta is when it comes to the kids


kirbysucc: I just hope those kids didn’t find Bakugou

                 Who knows what those boys will do, such a self sacrificing lot


MightyDad: I wish I could help somehow  but we have to put faith in both our colleagues and students. We’ve been training them into fine heroes and we can only hope they use what we’ve taught them!


50shadesfreed: I agree but I am still a worried mother


Chowder: I am confident that everything will work out!


50shadesfreed: I hope so

They waited outside for a few gruelling minutes before someone jumped out of the already broken window. They were like a blur and then they stood face to face with Dabi who was holding Bakugou in his arms. Bakugou seemed to be unconscious, his body limp in Dabi’s arms. No. No fucking way. No villain should be holding Bakugou, he should be at the dorms with him and Todoroki watching shitty tv shows. He felt furious. It was dark but Bakugou looked deathly pale in what lighting they had and he could see blood continue to roll down his arm. He was sure that Midoriya was already thinking of a plan.

“Still here? Damn I woulda thought that one of your teachers and heroes would have stayed with you.” Dabi smirked with the Bakugou unconscious in his arms.

“What do you want with him?” He asked praying that Dabi doesn’t have information on his quirk. He doesn’t get a verbal response, just a middle finger in return.

“Give him back.” Todoroki stated as ice shot across the ground but Dabi melted it easily.

“No can do little bro.” Dabi replied as he got out his phone most likely to contact someone.


“Did that shitty guy really beat me out of your memories or is my new get up just that good?” Dabi put his phone away and a black mass appeared behind him.


“Ding ding ding! Good talk but I gotta go-” Dabi didn’t finish his sentence before Aizawa snatched Bakugou from his arms and Yamada attempted to kick him. Dabi dodged and sent up another wall of fire. Once the flames started to disappear it was clear that Dabi had gotten away.

Aizawa gently placed Bakugou on the ground and started looking over him. Everyone had gathered closer, Shinsou wanted so badly to just reach out and hold onto Bakugou’s hand but he needed to let Aizawa help him. Bakugou looked so frail, so lifeless.

“How’s the kid?” Hawks asked. “The girl got away from us, some kind of warp quirk. But we managed to shatter the container she was carrying which seemed like it was full of blood.”

“He’s lost a lot of blood, the girl had probably taken it from him before we got here and that’s what was in that container.” Aizawa said as he tried to patch up Bakugou the best he could with what he had, cleaning the blood from his arm and wrapping it up in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

“We should take him to a hospital, he’ll probably be fine but it’s better safe than sorry.” Yamada said.

“You kids need to head back to the dorms. Hawks could you make sure they get back okay?” Aizawa looked at Hawks then over at them, Hawks nodded. “There won’t be any classes tomorrow but I expect to see you all in detention for a month. Be grateful it’s not something worse.” The rest students nodded as they started heading back, him and Todoroki didn’t move.

“We’re coming with you. I...I don’t want to leave him alone right now.” He said and he grabbed Todoroki’s hand. Aizawa sighed.




plain jane: So good news is we got Kacchan back


ochahoe: what’s the bad news ????


oneokrock: bad news is he needs to go to the hospital for blood loss


BubblegumBitch: is he fine other than that?


oneokrock: we don’t know he’s still unconscious


Bill Nye: The heroes and Shinsou and Todoroki are taking him to the hospital so we will have to wait to hear from them.


Iidad: Are you all safe and okay?


Hayley Kiyoko: yeah, we didn’t really do much since the heroes were there and the villains chose to run


Tsuboo: that’s good to hear at least


ochahoe: are those three going to be ok?


oneokrock: I’m really worried about Kat, sure he’s strong and stuff but I think that mentally things are starting to weigh on him


plain jane: it was starting to get how it was last year when we had our fight. He doesn’t get like he has been recently unless he feels like he’s been cornered


oneokrock: that’s true, I think the bet hit a nerve of his


plain jane: I just hope they all get this settled

Tru Hoe -> Turkey Leg


True Hoe: sup bird brain


Turkey Leg: ???? Who is this??? The fuck


True Hoe: just Todorokis older brother wanting to check in to see how he’s doing


Turkey Leg: that’s a little suspicious because I have his older brothers contact


True Hoe: Nah, I’m the other one


Turkey Leg: arent u missing???


True Hoe: that’s not important, is Shoto doing okay?


Turkey Leg: well other than the fact that his boyfriend just got kidnapped and is in the hospital he’s doing just peachy


True Hoe: I see, is he happy with his boyfriend?


Turkey Leg: he has two and as far as I know he’s very happy with them ??? Why tf u asking me this ???


True Hoe: I’m a concerned older brother what do u want from me???


Turkey Leg: to know where tf u are ??? Ur fam has been trying to figure it out for a long time ????


True Hoe: let’s just say Endeavour could kick the bucket and I would throw a party


Turkey Leg: wtf


True Hoe: nice chat but I gotta run, look after Shoto


Turkey Leg: what the fuk

UA is currently burning


Stop: So we got Bakugou back but he’s lost a lot of blood so we are taking him to the hospital


Bass Boosted Screaming: The villains got away but at least Bakugou is safe now


Chowder: That’s good to hear


50shadesfreed: are the students okay?


Stop: they should be on their way back right now


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi and Todoroki are with us, they didn’t want to leave Bakugou


Turkey Leg: I have to head back now but the kids are back all safe and sound


Stop: ok good, thanks for the help


Turkey Leg: no problem it is my job to help people


Chowder: Yes! Thank you for the help, if you ever need any kind of help from us please don’t hesitate to ask!


Turkey Leg: will do boss man

                     Also I’m just gonna chill in this chat if y’all don’t mind


Bass Boosted Screaming: why


Turkey Leg: I’m bored


50shadesfreed: valid

Chapter Text



ochahoe: has anyone heard from the trio?


plain jane: I haven’t but I know they’re back


Tsuboo: I saw them when they came in and it was startling


BubblegumBitch: ? How so ?


Tsuboo: well they weren’t talking to each other, they wouldn’t even look at each other. It was weird


ochahoe: do you think maybe something happened between them?


Tsuboo: that’s what it’s looking like


bakudaddy: why don’t you fuckers mind your own goddamn business


ochahoe: o shit I forgot they can read this


oneokrock: Hey Kat I’m coming over


bakudaddy: do what you want I’m muting you fuckers


ochahoe: I’m coming too!


oneokrock: meet me at my room first yeah?


ochahoe: got it



plain jane: Todoroki are you okay?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t wanna talk about it


Iidad: Sorry if this seems insensitive but, wouldn’t it be better to talk about it?


Tsuboo: I agree with Iida


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just don’t wanna talk right now okay?


plain jane: can I come over?


Yuzuru Hanyu: okay

Gothbirb -> Albert Einstein


Gothbirb: come over to think about things, it’s just me and Shouji


Albert Einstein: thanks

ochahoe -> plain jane


ochahoe: how’s todo?


plain jane: not the best…


ochahoe: Kat was telling us what happened but I was wondering how todo felt


plain jane: He’s kind of refusing to talk about it, he’s been blankly watching vine comps since I got here

                  I’m glad Kacchan is talking, what did he say


ochahoe: well when he woke up they apparently talked about the bet and some things were said that I think have been festering for a while…we still didn’t get the whole story


plain jane: that’s...not good


ochahoe: I think they all just need some space for now


plain jane: that may be best

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: do you guys ever get into big fights?


Bass Boosted Screaming: we did a lot when we were younger, why?


Albert Einstein: how did you fix it?


Stop: we talked through it for the most part


Bass Boosted Screaming: very seldom was there yelling


Stop: why do you ask? Are you three in a fight?


Albert Einstein: it’s not a fight per say...we all said some things and yeah


Bass Boosted Screaming: I think you should talk it out, you all care about each other very much so I’m sure things will be ok


Albert Einstein: ok thanks


Bass Boosted Screaming: we love you, I know everything will turn out fine!

Miss Keisha


Albert Einstein: can I talk to you guys?


bakuhoe: no


Yuzuru Hanyu: if you would like


Albert Einstein: I’m gonna do this over text because I’ll cry if I talk to your faces

                           I just wanna apologize about the bet I know it was really stupid and everything. I didn’t know you felt that way about it Katsuki and I’m sorry for starting it. Shoto I shouldn’t have said what I did, it was all the emotions I had and I handled it really poorly. I want you to know I love you both so much.


bakuhoe: it wasn’t just you who went with the bet, I went with it. I just god I fucking hate talking about this shit. But it made me think that you guys would be so much fucking happier without me. And then I got fucking taken again and I just didn’t know I exploded and then knowing you two could have gotten hurt looking for me I felt fucking useless because you were in danger and I couldn’t get out of those stupid restraints


Yuzuru Hanyu: It was our fault that you felt like that, we were being stupid and petty. But you make us happier Katsuki, we love you. Hitoshi everyone handled everything poorly and I know you were freaking out. Katsuki we got you back and you're safe now and I’m sorry all this got blown out of proportion


Albert Einstein: are we all good? Can we talk now? I’m full on sobbing in Tokoyamis room

ochahoe -> plain jane


ochahoe: well we got kicked out


plain jane: was Kacchan ok? I know how he holds things in

                 Todoroki just started crying as soon as he read who the message was from and started wishpering “o no” over and over


ochahoe: well when he first got a message from Shinsou he almost threw his phone out the window but me and Kiri had him actually reply and he made us leave as he was typing

                I think he was going to cry judging by the way he didn’t even let us protest


plain jane: o no

                  I hope nothing too seriously bad is happening, I’m still with Todoroki but he’s not telling me anything


ochahoe: keep me updated


plain jane: apparently he’s going over to Kacchans room to finish talking about things and I’m heading to Eijirous room so I’m walking with him


ochahoe: oh! I’m here too!


plain jane: if things go haywire I think we can all calm them down right?


ochahoe: hopefully it doesn’t come to that

The tension is killing us


BubblegumBitch: So,


plain jane: we haven’t heard anything since Todoroki got there


StaticShock: do you think they’re gonna break up?


ochahoe: I hope not


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: this is their first big fight I’m worried


Gothbirb: I think they’ll be ok


plain jane: they all care way too much about each other


Tsuboo: that could be a reason they decide to break up


ochahoe: I hate that you're right


Iidad: We should have faith in our classmates that they know what is best for themselves and their relationships!


ochahoe: Iida they are disasters


BubblegumBitch: remember how they got together in the first place


Iidad: Maybe they need some help…


oneokrock: I can’t take it !!! I need to know if my bro is ok !!


BubblegumBitch: eiji w a i t


ochahoe: he gone


plain jane: well it seems that he’s dead so I need a new partner any takers?


oneokrock: ;(((

                   But I’m not dead !!!


StatocShock: are they ok ?????


oneokrock: oh they’re just fine

                    Sent 1 image


BubblegumBitch: that’s so soft I feel wrong looking at how intimate this is


oneokrock: listen I had to take a picture because honestly? That shit was so cute


ochahoe: well, judging by the way kat is sandwiched between them and they are all sleeping, Imma say that they’re all good


oneokrock: I’m sure they still have a bunch of stuff to talk ab

                   When we talked to kat it seemed like he had more on his mind plus Todoroki and Shinsou had stuff I’m sure they wanna talk about too


plain jane: We all have to go back to class tomorrow so hopefully things will be ok


BubblegumBitch: something tells me that they’ll be back to memeing at each other in the morning


Gothbirb: I think so too

Chapter Text



Iidad: Reminder that classes resume today for us!


plain jane: Thanks Iida!


BubblegumBitch: so trio,,,,how are y’all


todobaby: we’re fine


bakudaddy: not like it’s any of your business


ochahoe: sorry for meddling, we just want to make sure our friends are happy!


bakudaddy: whatever, Shoto are you ready to head to class or what? Hitoshi and I are waiting


todobaby: what r u gonna do if I’m not?


bakudaddy: I will chop off ur toes


todobaby: blocked


bakudaddy: wait Shoto unblock me I have to tell you something


todobaby: unblocked


bakudaddy: bitch


ochahoe: dndndndnjdndn


oneokrock: fellas u call this a date????


alpha daddy: idk but seeing my boys all riled up does something to me






ochahoe: understandable have a nice day

bakuhoe -> ochahoe, oneokrock


bakuhoe: Thanks for yesterday


ochahoe: No need to thank us!!! We’re your friends it’s what we do!


oneokrock: Of course man, you’re our bro! We’ll always be there for you!


bakuhoe: If you two ever need any fucking help I guess I’ll be there for u fuckers


ochahoe: blasty!!!!!!


oneokrock: bro!!!!!!!


bakuhoe: S H UT

How hasn’t UA burned 2.0


Turkey Leg: Miruko has a real life girlfriend and I’m sleeping with a 25 year old and accidentally did crack the other night


50shadesfreed: I have a boy that I’ve been on 3 lunch dates with and he’s already talking about how many CHILDREN HE WANTS


kirbysucc: I got a new dishwasher!


Bass Boosted Screaming: I have a bug bite on my butt


Stop: I really appreciate the variety that goes into this group message


deadmanwonderland: I don’t


Turkey Leg: boo


deadmanwonderland: I just met u why r u telling me this


Turkey Leg: I got locked out of my Twitter


Chowder: be careful what you put on the internet !!!


Turkey Leg: me, starting a live video: wassup u guys today we’re gonna go fly in restricted airspaces


Stop: don’t do that


Turkey Leg: fine

                   O wait I have to talk to you and Midnight about something


50shadesfreed: !! Ok hold on

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed has added Turkey Leg to the conversation


Stop: so what is it u wanted to tell us?


Turkey Leg: o shit mic is in here too????


Bass Boosted Screaming: ya bitch


Turkey Leg: nice

                    Anyways wanted to tell you that Todorokis older missing bro messaged me ?????


Stop: what


50shadesfreed: what


Bass Boosted Screaming: what


Turkey Leg: sent 2 images


Stop: what the fuck


50shadesfreed: I feel like we should tell Todoroki about this


Bass Boosted Screaming: should we? His family life is hard enough as it is maybe we should get more information and make sure it’s really him


Stop: Todoroki definitely doesn’t need more on his plate right now but I’m sure he wants to know


Turkey Leg: I can keep talking to this guy if u want and maybe try and confirm it ????


50shadesfreed: that sound best, no use in giving Todoroki and empty answer


Turkey Leg: how old is he again???? Is he around my age?


Bass Boosted Screaming: pls don’t try to sleep w him


Turkey Leg: ….u didn’t have to call me out like this


Stop: jesus fuck

Stop -> Turkey Leg


Stop: alright kid, speaking of...that, why did you say “o no” when you saw Dabi


Turkey Leg: well ya see


Stop: im waiting


Turkey Leg: hahahaidefinitelyneverhadaonenightstandwithhimhahahaha


Stop: jesus christ


Turkey Leg: listen it was before the first kidnapping, no one knew who he was and neither did I!


Stop: I am just going to pretend that this conversation never happened


Turkey Leg: thank god


Stop: but now that i just happen to have this info you would be willing to come talk to my students


Turkey Leg: hhhhhhhhhh fine


Stop: god I love blackmail



StaticShock: do y’all ever wonder who the best kisser in the squad is?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: it’s Mina


StaticShock: yeah true


bakuhoe: no wtf it’s me


BubblegumBitch: ajskskssks thanks boo <333


oneokrock: why does it matter?


StaticShock: just wondering bc it’s not me or Hanta


oneokrock: I guarantee I’m a better kisser than Mina


BubblegumBitch: prove it


oneokrock: wtf how do u want me to do that




ScotchTapeExtraordinare: KISS KISS KISS


BubblegumBitch: DO IT BITCH


oneokrock: wait lemme ask the bf first

                   Ok we’re good COME AT ME BRO


StaticShock: seems like Mina is the better kisser


oneokrock: ok yeah I admit defeat


StaticShock: bakubabe c’mon


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yeah man do it let’s see if you can beat Mina


bakuhoe: What the fuck of course I’m a better kisser than her


oneokrock: idk dude she’s pretty damn good


bakuhoe: ….


BubblegumBitch: c’mon Katsuki sama


bakuhoe: shut the fuck up the nerds said it’s ok so be ready bitch



alpha daddy: so bakusquad did our bf win the makeout thing yet?


StaticShock: he demolished what the fuck


bakuhoe: I told you I’m the best


todobaby: I don’t quite believe you, care to show me?


alpha daddy: u bitch that was smooth as fuck


bakuhoe: ur so fucking dumb I’m coming to make out with u


plain jane: Kacchan is morosexual


ochahoe: true


Tsuboo: Todoroki: do u think I could cook food on my left side

              Shinsou, getting pancake batter: let’s find out

              Bakugou, already taking off his shirt: god you two are so fucking stupid


BubblegumBitch: WHERE IS THE LIE


bakuhoe: do u want to fight cause I’ll fight


BubblegumBitch: u already fought me w ur mouth and I lost so no thanks


bakuhoe: that’s what I thought


oneokrock: someone explain to me why my bf is crying on the floor and is unable to form a coherent sentence


alpha daddy: Ok so he was trying la croix and it tasted awful and he drank like half of it and he said he literally couldn't drink anymore of it and decided to pour the rest out and I went "this is so sad, Alexa play despacito" and I forgot we had an Alexa in the kitchen and despacito started playing and now Mido is crying


oneokrock: babe,,,

                    Everyone knows la croix is like licking an orange peel and then trying to describe the flavor to a friend in the other room


plain jane: I needed to know for myself and it’s been a stressful few days


oneokrock: understandable have a nice day bc I love you very much and want all ur days to be the best :) <3


StaticShock: ha gay

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: Hi dude uh how the fuck do I know if ur really Todorokis missing bro???? Like you haven’t given me any reason to believe you????


True Hoe: uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh you can’t ??? U just gotta believe me ????


Turkey Leg: dude I can’t do that he has people who worry about him


True Hoe: well idk how to prove I am his brother so like take my word for it ??? Or just fuck off I just wanted to know he was ok ????


Turkey Leg: you’ve been missing for a long time man you should come back, the rest of ur fam probably misses u like crazy


True Hoe: doubt



oneokrock: uhhhhh @bakudaddy @todobaby @alpha daddy what the fuck was that crash and yell I just heard ?????


alpha daddy: Katsuki pushed us off the fuCKING BED


bakudaddy: u wouldn’t shut up I wanna sleep


oneokrock: ?????


todobaby: Hitoshi: in this world it’s yeet or be yeeted

                  Me: yeeten?

                  Katsuki, as he pushes us off the bed: Y O O T


oneokrock: sjdjdnxnxnxn im trying so hard not to laugh bc Izu is sleeping over tonight and he’s already asleep


bakudaddy: yet they still won’t shut up


alpha daddy: fiiiiiiine we’ll sleep

Chapter Text



shroomqueen420: y’all I very much so would kill for a fukn favor rn


bakudaddy: ur still in this chat?


shroomqueen420: u guys entertain me m8


BubblegumBitch: what is it bby


shroomqueen420: is anyone remotely close to my school


ochahoe: kat is !


bakudaddy: shut the fuck up


shroomqueen420: bae pls i rly need ur help. I’m on a horrible date -12/10 with this man and I just met him an he already talkin ab gettin married an Inasa aint respondin


todobaby: Katsuki and I are on our way


ochahoe: wait ur together?


todobaby: we were getting groceries


oneokrock: owo what’s this?


bakudaddy: not for you fucks


alpha daddy: it’s our date night


Tsuboo: are you with them?


alpha daddy: no, don’t worry ab what I’m doing. Camie needs a save rn


BubblegumBitch: I’ll let that slide this time


bakudaddy: alright hoe what do you need


shroomqueen420: cinnamon candle


bakudaddy: ugh fine


ochahoe: wait wtf does that mean???


todobaby: I don’t know


BubblegumBitch: she needs baku to pretend to find her cheating and cause a scene so she can follow him out


todobaby: I’m waiting outside this place and so far I hear faint yelling

                  I hear two voices yelling and getting closer

                  I guess we are walking her home now


ochahoe: a story in three parts

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: yo, one of you should get their son some alcohol so I can be responsible and try it instead of going behind ur backs :)


Stop: I’m not getting you shit, you underage fuck


Bass Boosted Screaming: why the sudden interest in that?


Albert Einstein: im a teenager let me rebel


Stop: what’s the real reason


Albert Einstein: Katsuki is cooking for us tonight but he’s been talking about how he wants to try cooking with wine and I thought I could surprise him with it


Bass Boosted Screaming: Thats!!! So!!! Cute!!!


Stop: no


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta !!!!


Stop: I’ll think about it


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta it’s a small bottle of wine, plus we know Bakugou will cook with it



         Fine, but no one else gets any of it and you return what’s left of it


Albert Einstein: god bless

How hasnt UA burned


50shadesfreed: Shouta I am so concerned with your kids. I went to ask Todoroki a question regarding his room and witnessed Kaminari roll out of the stairway dressed as sonic yelling “YOURE TOO SLOW” as more kids came running down the stairs out of breath and I think Sero was dressed as mario?????


Stop: sounds about right


deadmanwonderland: nothing about that sounds right


kirbysucc: you get no say in that, you once dressed as king kong and scaled the outside of the school


deadmanwonderland: stop calling me out


Bass Boosted Screaming: but it’s so fun


kirbysucc: didnt he grabbed ur hair bc it looks like a banana


Bass Boosted Screaming: the my own home…


Stop: when do u ever have self respect


Bass Boosted Screaming: I thought u loved me


Stop: when did I ever say that


50shadesfreed: when you were crying at your wedding while reading your vows and telling everyone how much you loved him


kirbysucc: ha gay


Stop: I hate everyone

Two shots of vodka


Stop: I cannot believe I agreed to get wine for our son


Bass Boosted Screaming: it wont hurt anything!


50shadesfreed: why are you getting him wine?


Bass Boosted Screaming: apparently bakugou has been talking about wanting to cook with wine so hitoshi wants to surprise him and get some for him


50shadesfreed: awwww young love is so thoughtful


Bass Boosted Screaming: It reminds me of when we were younger


Stop: dont


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta would always take me out to the country and star gaze while we listened to music, it was so cute


50shadesfreed: I never hear about you guys going out anymore


Bass Boosted Screaming: We go out sometimes but with the kids and work it’s just so busy but that’s life babe! Anytime spent with Shouta is more than enough for me!


50shadesfreed: so sweet imma cry


Stop: gay


Bass Boosted Screaming: WE’RE MARRIED


Stop: still

Stop -> 50shadesfreed


Stop: I need your help


50shadesfreed: ooooo what r u planning ?


Stop: I need you to make sure that the kids don’t burn down the dorms this weekend


50shadesfreed: you can count on me!

Stop -> Bass Boosted Screaming


Stop: pack a bag for the weekend we’re going somewhere


Bass Boosted Screaming: !!!! but why ??? Is it bc of what we were talking ab earlier?


Stop: Because we don’t get to spend a lot of time together and yeah we don’t get to spend a lot of time doing things we like. So I’m taking you somewhere and we can be as romantic and gross as you want




Stop: But I want to, plus it would be nice to get away for a weekend I think we both need it


Bass Boosted Screaming: I love you <3333


Stop: I love you too


Bass Boosted Screaming: wait what about the kids


Stop: Im stopping by the dorms to give hitoshi this wine and putting tenya in charge but Nemuri is gonna make sure nothing burns


Bass Boosted Screaming: ok !!



Albert Einstein: Katsuki I have a surprise 4 u


bakuhoe: sus


Albert Einstein: wh

                           It’s a nice surprise!!!


bakuhoe: surprises are sus anyway u look at it


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki don’t be lil bitch


bakuhoe: can I at least have a hint


Albert Einstein: :) no



50shadesfreed: hello children! I’ll be keeping track of all of you this weekend but Iida is in charge!


todobaby: ok mom


ochahoe: did he just


Tsuboo: he did


50shadesfreed: Todoroki !!! You called me mom !


todobaby: ah, I did


plain jane: what a nice family moment


50shadesfreed: oh yes! The other reason I came in this chat is to tell whoever has a whistle to stop


todobaby: o sorry, hitoshi found a whistle in Katsuki’s room


bakudaddy: He wouldn’t stop

                     I’m gonna have to fucking wash it before I use it again


alpha daddy: why do you need to wash it? We’ve kissed before, you fucking


oneokrock: u know ur bf hates germs in his mouth


alpha daddy: thats not what he was saidhsudASD


ochahoe: he dead


Tsuboo: rip



Yuzuru Hanyu: hey guys I’m going to cry


ochahoe: why


plain jane: ???


Iidad: Is everything okay?


Yuzuru Hanyu: Hitoshi said he got Katsuki a surprise and it turns out it’s wine bc Katsuki mentioned about wanting to try and cook something w it and I just


Tsuboo: it’s alright let it out


Yuzuru Hanyu: HE GOT REALLY HAPPY AND SMILEY AND WE WERE KIND OF CONFUSED AS TO WHY BC IT WAS JUST WINE ITS NOT A BIG DEAL RIGHT AND HE GOES “You fuckers really do listen to me when I ramble about cooking, you actually fucking listen”


ochahoe: awe


Tsuboo: that’s so...


plain jane: not something I would imagine him saying


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m so emotional right now he got really excited and now me and Hitoshi are sitting in the kitchen watching him cook I love them so much


Iidad: That is very nice Todoroki!



50shadesfreed: what are you kids doing, my mother senses are tingling


StaticShock: u h mmm


Tsuboo: I actually have no idea what they are doing


BubblegumBitch: well, eiji and hanta are playing pong with uh, this is gonna sound weird, balsamic vinegar


50shadesfreed: w h y


BubblegumBitch: I DONT KNOW


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Mina begged us to stop


BubblegumBitch: bc I knew one of you would puke

                              And eiji did


plain jane: he what now


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: she fucking got on her hands and knees


BubblegumBitch: you wish I got on my hands and knees


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: and then she called me daddy


BubblegumBitch: LIES AND SLANDER




StaticShock: WE WHAT




BubblegumBitch: FUCK



                          WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS


plain jane: Well,


bakudaddy: lets not get into this


todobaby: yeah I say we don’t get into it


50shadesfreed: I am fucking sending you all to therapy





bakuhoe: I will shove my hand in ur throat


StaticShock: I’ll suck ur dick


bakuhoe: excuse me ????????


StaticShock: I panicked

                      Offer still stands tho


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I support u babe


bakuhoe: no one in this message is sucking my dick


oneokrock: that’s fair




         O N E

Chapter Text

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: did you two enjoy ur weekend getaway?


Bass Boosted Screaming: yes !!!!


Stop: yeah


50shadesfreed: that’s good to hear!


Stop: I read the rest of the kids chat when we got back


50shadesfreed: o no








50shadesfreed: IM SORRY


Bass Boosted Screaming: I’m more worried about the fact that our kids probably do need therapy


Stop: we should check in on that actually


50shadesfreed: sometimes I get very worried when I read the chat


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi has told us that both Todoroki and Bakugou wake up screaming sometimes


50shadesfreed: we have professional counselors on campus for things like this I just wish that the students would utilize them


Stop: I’m on it



Stop: This is a reminder that there are professional counselors provided by the school if you feel that your mental health is becoming a concern and you would like help.


BubblegumBitch: we have that ?????


Stop: This is a hero school and many heroes suffer from PTSD and other mental health issues. It is not uncommon in students who intern to have these problems so we try and provide assistance to those who need it.


ochahoe: That’s amazing!


Iidad: The counselors there are actually very nice and very good at what they do!


bakudaddy: How the fuck do I schedule


Stop: Just come to me and I can schedule the appointments for you.


todobaby: I think that would be helpful


alpha daddy: thanks dad


Stop: I cannot talk to u with that name Hitoshi




ochahoe: try it bitch


Iidad: Shinsou, I am so sorry.


todobaby: well, I have to kill you now Uraraka


ochahoe: do it u fucking coward

                If you can find me


todobaby: I’ll find u and kill u


plain jane: ok calm down there Liam Neeson


todobaby: fuk u


bakudaddy: That’s my job


alpha daddy: thats my job


todobaby: oh

bakuhoe -> Stop


bakuhoe: can I schedule for that fucking counselor?

Stop: of course, what times would you like?

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: Shouta why do you look like you’re about to cry? Did ur class really do that badly on the test?


Stop: no, they actually all did really good I think Yaoyorozu’s tutoring is paying off


50shadesfreed: then why?


Stop: Bakugou asked to see a counselor


Bass Boosted Screaming: !!!!


Stop: He’s just come so far and compared to when I first started teaching him it makes me very emotional. Remember when he fought Midoriya because he didn’t know how to deal with what he was feeling? Now he’s actually asking for help


Bass Boosted Screaming: I always knew u had a soft spot for him, especially when u stood up for him at the press conference


Stop: He’s a lot like me and Hitoshi ok? people kept calling him a villain and they were bitches who I should have punched


Bass Boosted Screaming: Defending our kids,,,babe that’s hot


50shadesfreed: I thought u always found him hot judging by the hickeys and bite marks you guys are trying to hide rn


Stop: I have this scarf for a reason


50shadesfreed: I hate u both I’m so lonely


Bass Boosted Screaming: Time 2 play matchmaker



Gothbirb: just watched Bakugou and Uraraka perform Lemon by Drake while cooking perfectly in time to it

                It was honestly the closest thing to a religious experience I’ve ever encountered


alpha daddy: and I missed it!!!!????


nest: Uraraka did Rihanna's part and i think that’s beautiful


Tsuboo: Bakugou is helping Uraraka make a dinner for our anniversary


BubblegumBitch: awwwww how long have u guys been dating?


Tsuboo: A year :)


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Congrats u gays


plain jane: yeah! Congrats!


Tsuboo: thank you


alpha daddy: ha gay


Tsuboo: thanks

Three bros chilling in a hot tub


Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki why the fuck did I just walk into the kitchen to see you bite into a whole ass onion


Albert Einstein: u did what now

                           I thought the orange was bad enough


bakuhoe: they’re good????? The fuck u want from me????


Yuzuru Hanyu: brush,,,,ur fkin teeth,,,stinky binch


bakuhoe: after I finish my goddamn onion


Albert Einstein: This is his swamp now bitch


bakuhoe: I’m going to kill you


Albert Einstein: kinky


Yuzuru Hanyu: onions r not kinky pls


bakuhoe: coward


Yuzuru Hanyu: U wanna fight?


bakuhoe: take a bite of this onion and I won’t call you a coward again



ochahoe: im ajksdhfajf


StaticShock: ?????


Tsuboo: hold on my gf is choking on air


ochahoe: so todo walked into the kitchen as kat was cleaning up and eating an onion, walked out, walked back in and grabbed the onion and took a bite out of it and started crying

                I can’t fcuing breath e


BubblegumBitch: why the fuck did he do that???????


alpha daddy: its a long story but in short: Katsuki called Shoto a coward bc of the onion so I guess he tried to eat it


Tsuboo: apparently Todoroki looks adorable when he cries bc of onions bc Bakugou just smiled and is trying not to laugh as he wipes away tears


plain jane: Shinsou just sprinted out of my room ???

                 Oh nvm


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ha gay



StaticShock: do u guys remember when we went w kat to get groceries and we kept causing trouble so security came after us and then kat grabbed a fucking six pack of soda and shook it real fast, threw it on the ground and yelled scatter?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: we’re banned from there now denki we all remember it


BubblegumBitch: I, for one, think we should do it again


bakuhoe: I don’t need to be kicked out of anymore stores


oneokrock: fair, but what if we did something stupid somewhere else


StaticShock: Im listening….



plain jane: why do I get the feeling my bf is planning something stupid?


Yuzuru Hanyu: Why do I get the feeling my bf is involved?


ochahoe: that’s bc I just saw the bakusquad leave the dorms suspiciously


Tsuboo: o no


ochahoe: Iida is RUNNING after them


Tsuboo: he caught two


ochahoe: Mina: PLEASE

                Iida: N O

                Sero: ITS NOT THAT BAD

                Iida: LISTEN


Tsuboo: both of ur mans escaped with Kaminari


plain jane: o no

Chapter Text



plain jane: I cannot believe that Kami convinced Kacchan and Eijirou to help him break into a concert and fuck with the lighting


StaticShock: eyyyyyyyyyyyy


oneokrock: he used his quirk to overload the lights so he’ll be like this for a hot minute


bakudaddy: so many fucking colors at once it was goddamn amazing


oneokrock: it was like we were at a rave except the lights were more aggressive

                   the band performing seemed to like it so really it was a win for everyone


Hayley Kiyoko: Sorry to interrupt but u guys know how sometimes I go help out at that small music shop sometimes when I’m free?


StaticShock: yeeeeeeeeeeee


Hayley Kiyoko: well today,


ochahoe: oof I love work stories


plain jane: bring in the tea


Hayley Kiyoko: I was helping this woman who came in and apparently she was a psychic so in the middle of me helping her she stops me and goes “I mentioned this to the other employee when I was in last week but you know you have a spirit in here right?”


BubblegumBitch: oml u haunted


alpha daddy: rip


Hayley Kiyoko: so obviously I’m like “no?????” And she goes “yeah, it’s the spirit of a little girl, she likes to come in here to play a lot.” And then we went back to talking ab music


Bill Nye: That is certainly something


Tsuboo: it’s kinda sad


Hayley Kiyoko: I was so fucking confused like she mentioned it like it wasn’t a big deal


bakudaddy: shes a fucking psychic she does that shit for a living


Hayley Kiyoko: that’s fair


oneokrock: kat remember when u had that summer job and all those stories were wild


alpha daddy: o?


plain jane: o I know the place he worked, it’s right by my house actually


bakudaddy: we don’t talk ab those stories bc they remind me of dark times


Gothbirb: I am always in dark times


nest: stfu u emo binch


Gothbirb: murdered by my own bf smfh


BubblegumBitch: c’mon tell us the stories !!!!!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: do i t


StaticShock: d o i t


shroomqueen420: do it u fkin coward


bakudaddy: FINE


oneokrock: YES


bakudaddy: a man once came into the restaurant with three huge fucking bags of wild mushrooms he found in the woods and insisted we use them in our food and we couldn’t get him out for like fucking 3 hrs


alpha daddy: uhm???


StaticShock: well I guess his mushrooms weren’t good enough for u


plain jane: was his name Wally by chance?


bakudaddy: wtf yeah how u know that


plain jane: he’s always in the grocery store trying to sell things he picks up in the woods and honestly? I think he’s a witch


bakudaddy: yeah ok makes sense


todobaby: can he make curses ?


Gothbirb: can he teach me curses?


plain jane: honestly who knows


ochahoe: I wanna hear more stories !!!!


bakudaddy: I once told this guy that we didn’t carry the kind of beer he wanted and for the rest of the night he didn’t talk to me

                    Like every fucking time I went to take orders and check up on them he would fucking lean over to his wife to tell her shit to tell me like the fuck bitch


BubblegumBitch: omfg thats so petty


Naked&Afraid: oof


bakudaddy: also did u know how fuckin CREEPY people can be when u work at restaurants????? Like some old guy left me a $100 tip and his number and winked at me when he left  


Hayley Kiyoko: I know how creepy people can be in music stores


bakudaddy: solidarity


Hayley Kiyoko: I love this moment we’re having right now it’s very touching


ochahoe: yikers that’s gross

                But I know how that feels cause the store I worked in I got hit on a lot and it’s like sir I am a lesbian leave me alone


Tsuboo: murder


bakudaddy: big mood


StaticShock: guys sorry to interrupt but I radiate massive stupid bitch energy


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: aw babe no u don’t


BubblegumBitch: it’s true but he shouldn’t say it


todobaby: it’s true and he should say it


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: hEY


todobaby: ¯\_(._.)_/¯


bakudady: Divorced


StaticShock: aw kat ur sticking up for me


bakudaddy: no I just hate emoticons


oneokrock: valid

Gay Panicking


Albert Einstein: sent 1 image

                          I want to spend the rest of my life with them holy f uc k


plain jane: Shinsou that’s gay


Albert Einstein: look at them, katsuki is giving us facemasks and he put shotos bangs back in a little kitty clip. Im fucking dead


Gothbird: where he get that clip


Albert Einstein: he said he doesn’t know he’s had them since he was little


plain jane: its true theres a pic of us with them in our hair when we were like two


Albert Einstein: wh

                          WHERES THE FUCKING PICS


plain jane: sent 3 images


                  U alive buddy?????


Gothbirb: o my fuckin god he fuckin dead


Albert Einstein: I know I say I want to spend the rest of my life with them a lot but after graduation it is very tempting to ask them to marry me


plain jane: but


Albert Einstein: but they would both say no bc of trying to get established as heroes


Gothbirb: and


Albert Einstein: and we don’t know where or what heroes we’re going to work for so it’s a waiting game


plain jane: I think you’ll know the right time when it comes


Albert Einstein: yeah ok ur right imma go back and finish these face masks tho

Yuzuru Hanyu -> plain jane


Yuzuru Hanyu: sent 2 images

                          do u think Katsuki would like this ring ? And Hitoshi would like that one ?


plain jane: o my fucking god, Todoroki we’ve had this talk before


Yuzuru Hanyu: I know but I’m just planning for the future


plain jane: hhhhhhhhh ok you guys are surprisingly adamant about this so why don’t you give them promise rings? They aren’t engagement rings but they’re rings that promise that you will eventually get engaged


Yuzuru Hanyu: I didn’t know those were a thing but I’m getting them


plain jane: no engagement rings until you get your future sorted out and stabilized


Yuzuru Hanyu: that’s fair

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: question: when did you two get engaged?


Stop: no


Albert Einstein: what ?????


Stop: you are not proposing to them after you graduate


Albert Einstein: how did u kno I was gonna talk ab that


Bass Boosted Screaming: bc he did the same thing and we got married before we were 21


Albert Einstein: askdkdhdjsksk I didn’t know that


Stop: u aren’t allowed to do that


Albert Einstein: :^(


Bass Boosted Screaming: we worked out great but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t lots of fighting and compromises


Stop: oof let’s not bring this up


Bass Boosted Screaming: fair, anyway don’t do that Hitoshi


Albert Einstein: fiiiiiiiiine

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: sup slut


True Hoe: jesus chRIST


Turkey Leg: ;-)


True Hoe: I’m not gonna fuck you


Turkey Leg: damn

Chapter Text

Two shots of vodka


Stop: alright Nemuri u hoe u better b grateful cause I got you a date


50shadesfreed: !!!!!

                          WHO IS IT????????????


Stop: its a surprise


50shadesfreed: :(


Bass Boosted Screaming: its ms. joke, u kno emi


50shadesfreed: how did u pull that off????? Isn't she always trying to marry you


Stop: shes so fucking gay she hits on me as a joke bc I know this and she knows I’m already married


50shadesfreed: I don't know...I mean she’s really cute but would we get along???


Bass Boosted Screaming: u never know until you try!!!


Stop: Saturday, 7pm, that little diner downtown with the giant bird statue


50shadesfreed: zashi u better help me pick an outfit


Bass Boosted Screaming: Y E S



oneokrock: shinsou, holding a fish: Katsuki guess what

                   Kat, turning to face him: wha-

                   Shinsou, smacking him in the face with the fish: fISH SLAP


Hayley Kiyoko: he dead




StaticShock: damn without me?


Hayley Kiyoko: why couldn’t kaminari be the one to get slapped w a fish?


StaticShock: bc me and my babes r on a date


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: sad I missed it tho




BubblegumBitch: get fucked

plain jane -> Yuzuru Hanyu


plain jane: Todoroki where the fuck did u go


Yuzuru Hanyu: I am everywhere but nowhere at the same time, are any of us really here?


plain jane:


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m in the ice cream aisle



oneokrock: kat asked “what do those fucking idiots want this week?”


StaticShock: swaghetti


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: and memeballs


oneokrock: “u r both uninvited”


StaticShock: thats fair

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: sup bitch how’s ur day


True Hoe: why the fuck are you still messaging me?


Turkey Leg: Im bored


True Hoe: dont you have people to save or some shit?


Turkey Leg: It’s my day off and im boooooored as fuck


True Hoe: then talk to a different friend






True Hoe: anyway do you know how my brother is doing?


Turkey Leg: I think he’s doing fine? I passed him on the street today with his group of friends so


True Hoe: good. Ok im done talking to u today bye bitch


Turkey Leg: u kno what, that’s fair



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: help friends I am trying to convince myself to go pescatarian from vegetarian for the health and protein benefits


nest: what are your qualms with pescetarianism?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: idk it feels like I’m losing bc I need the extra protein and shit? Like I know it would be better for my health but hhhhhhhhhh


bakudaddy: it isn’t weak to choose what foods to put in your body. It’s a lot stronger to change because or your self awareness than it is to keep a routine that may be detrimental to your health.


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: thanks daddy


bakudaddy: I take it back


Bill Nye: Maybe start with something that has just a little fish in it so you’re not just eating fish?

               Look into which fish are the most and least sustainable and only eat the most sustainable ones once or twice a week?


oneokrock: I’ll make you the best fucking fish youve ever tasted


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wow what a hunk


oneokrock: ;)


ochahoe: this just in: I lov my gf


plain jane: gay


ochahoe: h

                U have a whole ass boyfriend


plain jane: proof?


oneokrock: I love you?


plain jane: o fuck that’s really solid proof love you too


Tsuboo: gay


plain jane: wh


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: GUYS IM DOING IT

                                          IM EATING FISH


StaticShock: ur doing amazing sweetie!


BubblegumBitch: We love you!!! <333


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: <333333



Iidad: So I have an issue….


ochahoe: what is it boo?


Iidad: I may have developed feels...for a girl…


ochahoe: !!!!!!!!!!!!!


Iidad: I wanted to tell you so if you see her around you know why because I have decided to ask her out!


Tsuboo: are you sure you can do it?


Iidad: Positive! I will be asking her tomorrow!


plain jane: wait something doesn’t seem right


Yuzuru Hanyu: ?


plain jane: how long have you liked her?


Iidad: Haha well…


ochahoe: sus


Iidad: I do believe I started to really like her soon after Midoriya and Kirishima started dating...


plain jane: ….


Iidad: Please don’t say it


plain jane: I TOLD YOU SO


Iidad: STOP


plain jane: ok but fr we’re gonna make sure that you get the girl!




Tsuboo: he seems to be handling it so I think he’ll be fine


Iidad: Yes! We have become quite close and she is very endearing!


Yuzuru Hanyu: who is it?


Iidad: Hatsume Mei from the support department!


Tsuboo: you two would look cute together


ochahoe: you would!!!


Iidad: She is very smart and hardworking, I have no doubt she will be one of the best in support technologies in the future!


plain jane: Im so happy for you!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Good luck on asking her out


Iidad: Thank you!

shroomqueen420 -> bakuhoe


shroomqueen420: Benedict Cumberbatch’s face is longer than any relationship i’ve ever had.


bakuhoe: that is a true fact


shroomqueen420: but lik fr bakuhoeski, I just wanna date someone who dont fricken wanna marry me and hav kids after two dates ya dig?


bakuhoe: why don’t you just take a fucking break from trying to find someone?


shroomqueen420: bc that won’t help me get a date hoe


bakuhoe: listen up u hoe, why don’t you focus on yourself and ur studies to become a hero first before getting someone to drag you down


shroomqueen420: but todo and shin dont heckin drag u down


bakuhoe: that’s bc even though I love them both very much, I’m still competing with them we’re rivals. I think you need someone like that or just focus on yourself for a bit


shroomqueen420: hmmmmmmm idk who I could even compete with...maybs I will jus spend sometime workin on myself thanks blasty (⁎⁍̴̆Ɛ⁍̴̆⁎)




shroomqueen420: lmao


Chapter Text

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: IM FREAKIN OUT



Stop: its just Emi


50shadesfreed: STILL


Bass Boosted Screaming: You know it won’t be awkward you’ve talked to her before


50shadesfreed: but it’s different!!!! We’re going on a date!!!!!


Stop: it’s emi I’m sure you’ll be fine




Stop: that’s perfect she loves laughing

          Anyway bye we have a date ourselves


50shadesfreed: NO DONT GO


Bass Boosted Screaming -> Stop


Bass Boosted Screaming: u really think she’ll be alright????


Stop: no I don’t which is exactly why we’re going to lowkey spy on their date


Bass Boosted Screaming: stop using the kids slang it looks wrong when u type


Stop: wow this is so sad, Alexa play despacito


Bass Boosted Screaming: god I love you so fucking much lets go spy on this date




                           WRONG CHAT


BubblegumBitch: you’re on a date?


alpha daddy: with emi?!




alpha daddy: I thought she was already married? That’s why she hits on dad cause it’s funny they’re both married?


Stop: no, she’s a useless fucking lesbian and I’m married that’s why she thinks it’s funny


alpha daddy: that makes more sense


50shadesfreed: anyway bye kids I have another group chat to go into and have a meltdown !!!


todobaby: good luck


50shadesfreed: thanks son bye !


alpha daddy: babe if this goes well u might have THREE moms


todobaby: That is a lot of mothers


oneokrock: man why does Todo get to have THREE moms ???


plain jane: love, u have two moms and a dad


oneokrock: ok yeah fair nvm


ochahoe: so many good parental figures


alpha daddy: speak for urself have u seen my dads? Disasters


Bass Boosted Screaming: We managed to raise you into a great hero !!!!!


alpha daddy: hmm debatable


bakudaddy: excuse?


StaticShock: he smelled ur insecurity


bakudaddy: ur a great fucking hero and anyone who says otherwise I’ll pound into the fucking dirt


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ha gay


alpha daddy: booooo


todobaby: why r u booing him? He’s right!


bakudaddy: Damn right I’m right I don’t remember a time I been wrong


plain jane: .


bakudaddy: dont fucking do it


plain jane: I didn’t say anything


oneokrock: bro u don’t even peel fruit that’s fucking WRONG




oneokrock: FINE LETS GO






bakudaddy: FINE


Tsuboo: True broship


Stop: at least you’re fighting responsibly



Yuzuru Hanyu: can I ask you two a question


Albert Einstein: ?


bakuhoe: ?


Yuzuru Hanyu: would you two come meet my mother next weekend? When I’ve been to visit her she asks about you guys


Albert Einstein: of course we’ll go love


bakuhoe: of course we’ll go wtf


Yuzuru Hanyu: Thanks


bakuhoe: dont fucking thank us we’re ur boyfriends


Albert Einstein: yeah plus you’ve met our parents so it’s nice we’ll get to meet your mom


Yuzuru Hanyu: I just know that she’ll love you two


bakuhoe: all parents fucking love me


Albert Einstein: just bc ur my dads fav student doesn’t mean all adults love u


bakuhoe: but how do u kno they dont


Albert Einstein: fukc


Yuzuru Hanyu: he got u there



Iidad: So, I have a girlfriend




plain jane: So ur finally official ???


Iidad: Yes I took her out on a date and asked her to be my girlfriend!


Yuzuru Hanyu: Congratulations


Iidad: Thank you!


ochahoe: honey what are we gonna do??? All our kids r leaving,,,we’ll be empty nesters


Tsuboo: I say we get a dog


ochahoe: !!!!! I love you so much


Tsuboo: <3333



bakuhoe: I’m getting promise rings someone help me pick them out


BubblegumBitch: !!!!! IM ON THE WAY BAKUBABE


bakuhoe: I can already tell this was a mistake

                HOW DID U GET HERE SO F A ST


BubblegumBitch: I was already in eijis room


StaticShock: damn y’all loyal as fuck


bakuhoe: well yeah

                I love them


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: soft bakuboi strikes again


bakuhoe: fuk of f


oneokrock: I wanna see which ones you pick !!!


StaticShock: same


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: same


bakuhoe: then hurry the fuck up


BubblegumBitch: he’s totally looked at rings before his tabs are full oflwklfwlvl


StaticShock: BABE N O


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: she dead


StaticShock: :((((

How hasn’t UA burned


Stop: power move: refer to my students by their class ranks


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta no


kirbysucc: no balls wont do it


deadmanwonderland: you’ll fuck up and call Shinsou by his first name


Stop: bet


Bass Boosted Screaming: babe don’t do it


deadmanwonderland: if u slip up at all this week and call Shinsou by his first name instead of his rank u have to spend the whole next week using ur classes first names


Stop: BET




Stop: B E T


snipsnipe: the deal is made


50shadesfreed: rip

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: well, hope ur bet goes as good as my date went


Bass Boosted Screaming: I knew you could do it!!!


50shadesfreed: I got her contact info and she asked me out on another date,,,,I’m aaaaaaaaaa


Stop: happy 4 u


50shadesfreed: also thanks for lowkey spying on us u made me feel better


Bass Boosted Screaming: wh


50shadesfreed: I saw Shouta run past the window of the diner with a cat and you were chasing him


Bass Boosted Screaming: we tried so hard to be incognito


50shadesfreed: ur not good at it

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: so,

                    I’m trying to bake cookies right, if I put them in when the oven is really hot it’ll just cook faster right ? Miruko says I’m being a dumbass


True Hoe: thats cause u are a dumbass and thats not how u fucking bake cookies


Turkey Leg: damn is no one on my side today ???


True Hoe: I’m never on ur side


Turkey Leg: :(


True Hoe: don’t do that


Turkey Leg: :((


True Hoe: just read the fucking instructions on the cookies, don’t burn ur house down


Turkey Leg: I actually have an apartment if u wanna come see it sometime ;)


True Hoe: AHAHAHA absolutely fucking not


Turkey Leg: it was worth a shot

Chapter Text



StaticShock: why did aizawa refer to me as number 20


bakuhoe: bc ur a dumbass


BubblegumBitch: He called me number 19


bakuhoe: get fucked


oneokrock: no u


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: he just fucking called kat number 3 im


bakuhoe: that’s it I’m asking Hitoshi

Welcome back to me screaming


bakuhoe: hitoshi why the fuck is aizawa calling us numbers


Albert Einstein: I dont know he’s been calling me number 9 all day he refuses to tell me why


Yuzuru Hanyu: he called me number 5


bakuhoe: wait he just called ponytail number 1



Albert Einstein: jdhlahsdkh why is he doing this


bakuhoe: I don’t fucking know he’s your dad why don’t you ask the other one


Albert Einstein: that’s a good idea hold on

                          Ok so, apparently be made a bet with the 1b teacher and if he fucks up and calls me hitoshi then he has to use our first names the entire next week


Yuzuru Hanyu: wait hitoshi is there a way you can figure out how to find out his class rank from when he was in high school? Or his hero rank now?


Albert Einstein: I like where this is going gimme a sec


bakuhoe: u fuckers are evil

                 It’s kinda hot


Yuzuru Hanyu: that is just my left side


bakuhoe: I take it back


Albert Einstein: wow


bakuhoe: who the fu c k are you?


Albert Einstein: who the fukc are you?


bakuhoe: I asked you first


Albert Einstein: I asked you second

                          But really tho this makes me want to get him to say my first name cause it would be funny as fuck to watch him say everyones first name


bakuhoe: it would be weird


Yuzuru Hanyu: definitely something


Albert Einstein: also I couldnt fucking figure out what his numbers were so rip







oneokrock: ???what happened




BubblegumBitch: t h ats not good bab e






Bill Nye: If someone could please hepl me that would eb much aprecisdted


ochahoe: she’s not typing correctly somEONE HELP HER


Bill Nye: pleas get bakogo


plain jane: ??????? wh y


Hayley Kiyoko: He braids her hair and is the only one besides her that can do her hair


oneokrock: WHAT


StaticShock: bro u didnt know????


BubblegumBitch: no one knew??????


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: u know a bunch of stuff ab kat that we dont babe


oneokrock: thats true!!


StaticShock: really ???


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yeah bro


StaticShock: I guess just cause I ask him random shit ab himself lmao but anyway he’s been braiding momos hair since we did the band at the school festival


todobaby: @bakudaddy


bakudaddy: the fuck do u guys want I was fucking napping but hitoshi woke me up laughing

                   Jesus christ where are you


Bill Nye: mt room


alpha daddy: im coming I have to see this

How hasn’t UA burned


Bass Boosted Screaming: I just sneezed and instead of saying bless you my wonderful husband of ten years just went “what?”


kirbysucc: when was the last time he slept?


Stop: no


snipsnipe: that’s it


kirbysucc: no, dont


snipsnipe: @CVS




CVS: You what Aizawa? :)


Stop: o no


Bass Boosted Screaming: HE HASNT SLEPT


CVS: :)))) and why is that?


Stop: uhm


CVS: :) ?




CVS: We have the counselors also available for employees ! Do. Not. Forget. :)


Stop: .


50shadesfreed: Shouta you might want to take the advice you give to the kids


Stop: whatever


50shadesfreed: zashi


Bass Boosted Screaming: already on it

Bass Boosted Screaming -> Stop


Bass Boosted Screaming: babe



                                         love of my life

                                         stars in my sky

                                         apple to my pie


Stop: what


Bass Boosted Screaming: are you ok?


Stop: honestly hizashi, no im not


Bass Boosted Screaming: do you wanna take a long bath and talk about it?


Stop: fine


Bass Boosted Screaming: I wont even put one of my bath bombs in just plain hot water


Stop: god I love you


Bass Boosted Screaming: I love you too <333

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: hey sorry but can I just rant to you about something?


True Hoe: I really shouldn’t be your first choice but im not stopping you


Turkey Leg: eh its just easier i guess bc I dont really know you


True Hoe: thats fair continue


Turkey Leg: Not being able to save people

                    It just really fucks me up

                    Im the number two pro hero with people relying on me I cant fuck it up. Plus people's lives are always on the line and when I can’t save them I just, god I failed them you know?

                    Im supposed to protect people who cant protect themselves but when I cant do that I shouldn’t be able to properly call myself a hero


True Hoe: I understand


Turkey Leg: You do?


True Hoe: I couldn’t protect Shouto when I was the oldest brother and I just ran from them. I left them alone when I should have just pushed through everything. I always think to myself if things could have been different had I stayed but I can’t change that now, I can’t go back.

                I think that continuing to go and save people despite being kicked down is better than simply running away.


Turkey Leg: wow that was

                    Sorry I just really wasn’t expecting that

                    I’m sorry you had to go through that


True Hoe: It’s fine, now I have people I tolerate in my life


Turkey Leg: am I included in that???


True Hoe: no


Turkey Leg: fukc

Chapter Text

Welcome to bible study


Yuzuru Hanyu: Love you don’t have to keep pushing us out like this. You can talk to us about these things


bakuhoe: I don’t want to. It makes me weak and I can handle it by myself


Albert Einstein: Katsuki you open this door right now or so help me god I will break it down. Having nightmares does not make you weak, it makes you human.


bakuhoe: I know for a fact you can’t break this door


Yuzuru Hanyu: I will burn that door to ashes Katsuki I swear to god


bakuhoe: fine I’ll talk about it but I don’t want to say it


Albert Einstein: Will texting be better?


bakuhoe: yeah I just yeah ok let’s get this over with.

                They actually were starting to be less frequent before the attack again, now after that I just can’t seem to shake this coldness I get and fuck, how you two came after me and what could have happened if they got you too

                Before it was just me but then Kirishima, Deku, and four eyes started to pop up along with Shoto and ponytail because of the stupid rescue and I just want to punch something or yell because I don’t know what to do. So many people could have died because of me, hell, All Might almost did. Yeah the meetings with that counselor have been helping but fuck

                And having things around my neck again had started to get better and I was starting to get less jumpy at the mention of chains or restraints and all that fucking progress just got fucking demolished. I almost had a panic attack once they put me in those restraints again but I managed to hold it together by not shutting the fuck up and running my goddamn mouth

                And fuck I just want to sleep before class starts but I fucking can’t


Albert Einstein: Katsuki


Yuzuru Hanyu: Please open the door


bakuhoe: I


plain jane -> Yuzuru Hanyu


plain jane: Is everything okay with Kacchan? He seemed quieter than normal today.


Yuzuru Hanyu: He just didn’t sleep well. Me and Hitoshi handled it


plain jane: ok just checking...please take care of him


Yuzuru Hanyu: always

Albert Einstein -> Yuzuru Hanyu


Albert Einstein: I’m gonna get dad to say my first name


Yuzuru Hanyu: why…?


Albert Einstein: bc our firecracker is upset and we can’t do anything in class but I know he loves the dead eyed look Aizawa makes when he loses bets


Yuzuru Hanyu: do you have some sort of plan?



StaticShock: Shinsou fucking what stop I’m actually gonna keel over from laughter


ochahoe: I can’t breathe


The great british baking show: I came here for answers and there is none


todobaby: Hitoshi is trying to get aizawa to use his first name to lose a bet


BubblegumBitch: I could smell the word bet what is it?????


bakudaddy: If he gets Aizawa to say his first name then Aizawa has to call the class by their first names


StaticShock: for real?????? Ahdakdhdfaljh


The great british baking show: Ok I understand a little more but not completely now


BubblegumBitch: o my god he almost slipped up


plain jane: he looks so tired of life




BubblegumBitch: “Dad are you a top or a bottom?”

                            “ Hitoshi I swear to go-GODDAMMIT


Hayley Kiyoko: Legendary



Yuzuru Hanyu: I am so gay

                         Did you guys hear Katsuki laugh?

                         I am fighting the urge to go kiss him right now


ochahoe: just do it u coward


Tsuboo: dont do that ochako he’ll actually do it




plain jane: look what u did


Tsuboo: Aizawa doesn’t deserve this


ochahoe: I’m fucking dying the exasperated sigh and then the “Shoto return to your seat”


Iidad: Why can’t you all just let him rest?


Tsuboo: this class is too chaotic for that

How hasn’t UA burned




kirbysucc: ?????


Stop: Hitoshi actually fucking got me I’m grounding him


deadmanwonderland: hahahaha bitch


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta how did u even lose????


Stop: Hitoshi kept asking stupid questions and eventually I forgot about the bet and accidentally said his first name


Chowder: Looks like you have to use first names for a week!


Stop: fukc

I hate this fucking family


Stop: Hitoshi you are fucking grounded


Albert Einstein: listen I had a good reason to do it


Stop: it better be fucking worth it


Albert Einstein: It was to make Katsuki feel better, he hasn’t been sleeping well and,,,,yeah I just wanted him to smile Also is the first name thing really extended to text too?


Stop: All forms of communication sadly or else it extends another week, but you’re goddamn lucky I know ur telling the truth about Katsuki or else I would End you


Albert Einstein: wait how did u know about that???


Stop: the counselor isn’t allowed to tell us what they talk about but they have to tell us if it’s affecting a students health without giving details so I know he has been sleep deprived

          Why do you think I pair him up with Shoto or Izuku for partner tasks? Because if he randomly passes out from exhaustion then they can react quick enough to help him


Bass Boosted Screaming: you’re such a softy to these kids


Stop: I’m just doing my job


Albert Einstein: awe u care about us


Stop: I am full of Regret



StaticShock: do u ever wonder why words exist?


bakudaddy: I’ll kill you


plain jane: This is so sad, Jirou play Whatcha Say by Jason Derulo






alpha daddy: Katsuki is banging on her door but all she did in response is change the song to stayin alive someone help


BubblegumBitch: I’m losing my goddamn mind


todobaby: @Bill Nye please get your disaster of a girlfriend


Bill Nye: I already tried but instead of letting me in she just played I will always love you


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’m gonna fuckig. Die


Hayley Kiyoko: Perish


Stop: yOU


Hayley Kiyoko: o no

Chapter Text

Bitch I hope the fuck you do


bakuhoe: Shoto is it ok to stop by the mall after we visit your mom ?


Yuzuru Hanyu: ? Sure love but can I ask why


bakuhoe: it’s fucking


Albert Einstein: it’s ok babe take ur time


bakuhoe: it’s Mirukos birthday on Monday and I wanna get her something


Albert Einstein: THATS SO CUTE




Yuzuru Hanyu: Katsuki you’re adorable


Albert Einstein: babe it’s rly cute but why?


bakuhoe: bc she didn’t tell me I had to change and “be less villainous” or try and “tame” me and actually fucking respected me

                She didn’t care about my reputation just whether I could kick ass or not


Yuzuru Hanyu: didn’t you ask her for dating advice one time?


bakuhoe: listen


Albert Einstein: what do u wanna get her


bakuhoe: I have no fucking clue


Yuzuru Hanyu: we’ll figure something out


Albert Einstein : Shoto we also need to get something to bring to your mom when we visit


bakuhoe: yeah what kind of fruit does she like ? She like flowers ?


Yuzuru Hanyu: you don’t need to bring her anything


bakuhoe: too fucking bad I’m doing it


Albert Einstein: Katsuki you handle fruit I’ll handle flowers


bakuhoe: fuck yeah



ochahoe: hey don’t come to the common room unless u wanna die


plain jane: ?


ochahoe: just went to watch the tv but stopped when I heard kat go “I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you two”


shroomqueen420: bakuhoeski makin me feel lonely every fuckin day


alpha daddy: he’s really fucking sappy whenever we’re alone




todobaby: but you’re so cute


StaticShock: bro u once told me how pretty Todoroki was for 3 hours straight


todobaby: o my god



                      And then the moment was ruined


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: how?


alpha daddy: Shoto: I would die for you Katsuki

                      Katsuki: you will




BubblegumBitch: one time Eiji was chillin on the side of one of our beds and he stole a chip from Denki and said “the gods have smiled upon me” And Kat pushes him off the bed with his foot and said “we live in a godless world” and nothing has shook me to my core more than that


Hayley Kiyoko: why are you guys such messes


oneokrock: who knows


plain jane: this class is a whole problem


oneokrock: babe I don’t know if you realize this but when you get tired you do this thing where whatever you say makes you sound high as fuck


ochahoe: oooooo that’s true


plain jane: no?


oneokrock: u literally slowly talked to yourself about a poster on my wall for an hour


plain jane: I have a lot of thoughts ok,,,


oneokrock: I know this and I love you


todobaby: hey Hitoshi remember the first time Bakugou showed up in his winter gear?

                 Oh this wasn’t supposed to go here but anyway, he was really good looking and he looked better with more fabric somehow


alpha daddy: do I remember??? That was the start of my gay panic for him


bakudaddy: stop fucking talking about me like I’m not in here




Bill Nye: Gay


alpha daddy: Momo….pl e a se not you too


Bill Nye: :)


Hayley Kiyoko: wow I am so unbelievably gay


todobaby: gay


Hayley Kiyoko: YEAH I KNOW

Fight club


BubblegumBitch: guys can you come with me so I can get more fake eyelashes


bakuhoe: fucking what


BubblegumBitch: fake eyelashes


oneokrock: what’s wrong with your normal eyelashes???


BubblegumBitch: fake eyelashes are just really dramatic and u kno I live for drama


bakuhoe: I am not going to witness rows of eyelashes I fucking refuse


BubblegumBitch: But Hanta and Denki are asleep and I don’t want to wake them up cause they haven’t been sleeping well lately and I need someone to go with :((((


bakuhoe: fucking fine, whatever


oneokrock: wait so what even are fake eyelashes??? How do u put them on???? Btw I’m w Blasty and his boys in the common room waiting for u


BubblegumBitch: I’ll show you once I get there ;)))



Iidad: Someone please inform me of why I heard yelling downstairs




bakudaddy: WHAT THE FCUK


todobaby: I can never look at Ashido the same ever again


oneokrock: I’m fucking traumatized


BubblegumBitch: it’s just fake eyelashes!!!!




Tsuboo: whose scream was so high pitched?


alpha daddy: that was me


Bill Nye: Ashido do you think you could pick me up some as well?


BubblegumBitch: Sure!!!! Which kind?


Bill Nye: I usually get Bombshell lashes so any of those that have good volume!


BubblegumBitch: Damn bitch u bougie as fuck


Hayley Kiyoko: my gf is the best and deserves the best


BubblegumBitch: ok fair

Gay Panicking


Albert Einstein: so u know how Katsuki and Kirishima went with Mina to get eyelashes?


plain jane: yes


Albert Einstein: well apparently they were doing free makeovers and

                          Sent 5 images


plain jane: h,,,,holy,,,,SHIT


Albert Einstein: I didn’t know it was possible for Katsuki to look even more beautiful than he already does,,,,my heart literally like stopped???

                          Shoto literally put his hands over his face and laid down on the floor when he saw it and that’s a big mood

plain jane -> oneokrock


plain jane: so Shinsou sent me the pic of u in makeup…

                  I don’t know how it’s possible but you look even more beautiful than normal and I don’t know what I did to get so lucky to call you my boyfriend but I’m glad it happened cause good lord,,,, u look so good,,,, holy shit



                    I LOVE YOU SO MUCH


plain jane: !!! I love you too !!!!!



BubblegumBitch: look who we ran into !!!

                              Sent 3 images


StaticShock: bro !!!


shroomqueen420: ayyyyyyyyye


Naked&Afraid: you all look so good!!!!


Hayley Kiyoko: yeah wtf why are u all decked out ?


oneokrock: the makeup place Mina goes to was doing free makeovers!!!


alpha daddy: stop sending these unannounced

                      Shoto froze us both to the bed


Iidad: You all look very nice!


ochahoe: this explains why Mido just started mumbling really fast again


Tsuboo: it’s better than a few minutes ago when he almost started crying


plain jane: it’s just cause I love my boyfriend a lot ok,,,,,


Iidad: VALID


plain jane: thank you Iida

Chapter Text

Hi vine


Albert Einstein: ok so I am very much so nervous to meet ur mother Shoto


Yuzuru Hanyu: don’t be, I’ve told about you guys before and she knows how much you two mean to me

                        She already loves you because she says “they make you so happy”


bakuhoe: will she like this fucking fruit




Yuzuru Hanyu: Loves please calm down she’ll love anything. Don’t stress too much, please?


Albert Einstein: HHHHH


Yuzuru Hanyu: Please?


Albert Einstein: ok I’ll try and calm down can you come hold my hand?


Yuzuru Hanyu: of course


Albert Einstein: Firecracker pls come hold the other one


bakuhoe: fine



BubblegumBitch: someone wanna tell me why our resident icyhot boy is cryin?


alpha daddy: It’s not bad don’t worry


oneokrock: good thought I was gonna have to throw hands for a second


todobaby: It’s nothing really just Katsuki and Hitoshi went to meet my mom and I’m just very happy


ochahoe: I would die for you


todobaby: then perish


ochahoe: w H


plain jane: I mean,,,how did u not see that coming????? Look who he’s dating


ochahoe: aight fair

Fuck vine bitch


bakuhoe: Hitoshi I swear to god if you fucking do this I will break up with you


Albert Einstein: nah u won’t


Yuzuru Hanyu: Please just think about this


Albert Einstein: I’m doing it don’t worry I can always just cut it off if it doesn’t work




Albert Einstein: LET ME LIVE


bakuhoe: N O


Albert Einstein: WHY NOT




Albert Einstein: BITHC


Yuzuru Hanyu: Love, please you’ll upset the baby


Albert Einstein: ????? What baby???


Yuzuru Hanyu: me


Albert Einstein: h

                          Now I’m getting it and u can’t stop me





alpha daddy: who here supports me getting a bowlcut say I


BubblegumBitch: I


ochahoe: I


StaticShock: I


plain jane: I


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I


Hayley Kiyoko: I


Naked&Afraid: I


oneokrock: I


Iidad: I think you should do what makes you happy! I


Bill Nye: When u put it like that, then I !


Tsuboo: I


shroomqueen420: I


bakudaddy: all you fuckers are blocked


Stop: I


ochahoe: LASJSKSKSJAK where did u come from ????


Stop: don’t worry about it


Turkey Leg: I




Gothbirb: Hello Hawks

                Also it’s an I from me and the boyf


Turkey Leg: sup


alpha daddy: SEE they want me to live out my dream


bakudaddy: I’ll kill you


alpha daddy: I’d like to see you trysyshdhdhdhdjxj


BubblegumBitch: o he dead


Turkey Leg: is this chat always like this?


plain jane: Yup!


Turkey Leg: nice

                    Where’s that explodey kid? He should add Miruko to torment her


todobaby: He’s murdering our boyfriend at the moment


Turkey Leg: I understand why she likes him so much now




Stop: He needs to know that actions have consequences


Bass Boosted Screaming: You just don’t want to be the only one in the family to ever have a bowl cut


Stop: slander


ochahoe: You had a bowlcut?????


Stop has left the conversation


Bass Boosted Screaming: Yes he did but he burnt all the pictures


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: smart man


Bass Boosted Screaming: EXCEPT ONE

                                             Sent 1 image



Turkey Leg -> Lola


Turkey Leg: let me add u to the class 2A group chat


Lola: no


Turkey Leg: ur fav blasty is in there


Lola: ….no


Turkey Leg: too bad





BubblegumBitch: awe why not :(((


Turkey Leg added Lola to the conversation


todobaby: because he doesn’t want her finding out he got a present for her birthday

                 O no


bakudaddy: Time to kill my other boyfriend


Lola: Bakugou you got me a present?


bakudaddy: …




bakudaddy: SHUT THE FUCK UP


Lola: NO


Turkey Leg: didn’t know u were such a softy kid




Turkey Leg: Wow Rumi no wonder he’s ur favorite


Lola: I’ll kill you


Turkey Leg: two death threats in two minutes is that a record?


Stop: With you, probably not


Turkey Leg: How did u get back in here???


Stop: don’t worry about it


BubblegumBitch: anyway back to kat being a total softy


Lola: You call him Kat?


ochahoe: well his squad and a select few!


Tsuboo: the only different one is when Midoriya calls him Kacchan








bakudaddy: N O


plain jane: Only I get that name privilege because I’ve known him since we were born!


Lola: I Kat it is!


bakudaddy: I hate everyone in this goddamn chat


todobaby: even me?


alpha daddy: even me?


bakudaddy: especially you two


alpha daddy: ok fair

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: explain to me why I just bought two packs of peeps but I hate them


True Hoe: like u bought small chickens????


Turkey Leg: nO alkskddkdkdk

                    Like the candy bro


True Hoe: thank fucking god

                Anyway ur a dumbass


Turkey Leg: come help me eat these peeps


True Hoe: no


Turkey Leg: pls


True Hoe: absolutely fucking not


Turkey Leg: Why dont u love me ;((((


True Hoe: ….ur okay ig


Turkey Leg: !!!!!!!!!



StaticShock: y’all guess what me and Hanta got our hands on


oneokrock: what bro




oneokrock: BRO


bakuhoe: this is gonna end so badly


StaticShock: do u think if I gave some to Todoroki he could breathe fire


bakuhoe: He can do that without alcohol


BubblegumBitch: w h at


bakuhoe: .


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I’m

                                          Holy shit that’s fucking hilarious




bakuhoe: bc r a dumbass


StaticShock: valid


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: anyway next weekend is going to be wild


oneokrock: how much did u get?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ….


BubblegumBitch: Hanta


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: maybe like enough for the whole class,,,


bakuhoe: you fucking idIOT

Chapter Text



BubblegumBitch: alright hoes it’s time to put our plan into action !!


oneokrock: u mean just get ridiculously drunk?


BubblegumBitch: yes !!!


ScotchTapeExraordinare: wait didn’t Sato also want to bake with us tonight?


StaticShock: drunk baking !!!


bakuhoe: hell no


StaticShock: what, r u scared hoe?


bakuhoe: fine, I’ll make the best drunk cookies and u wont get any pikabitch


StaticShock: u wouldn’t


bakuhoe: bet


StaticShock: :(



BubblegumBitch: Friendly reminder that the squad is baking cookies tonight !!!


alpha daddy: I’ll be sure to steer clear of the kitchen then


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: nah bro trust me u don’t wanna miss ur bf baking cookies


alpha daddy: fuck ur right


todobaby: I will be present


ochahoe: y’all just go wild when u don’t have to hide ur thirst huh


alpha daddy: idk what u expect from me


Tsuboo: I don’t expect anything from u people anymore


plain jane: ouch


Tsuboo: that’s what I say when u break ur arms


plain jane: :/


oneokrock: damn don’t come for my bfs neck like this


ochahoe: wig? snatched. Deku? owned. Gf? savage.


Hayley Kiyoko: Tsu is the most savage person I know


Iidad: She is very honest and I respect her greatly for that!

StaticShock: it’s real appreciate Tsu hours


ochahoe: it’s always appreciate Tsu hours you absolute fucking lamp, u goddamn piece of soggy bread


StaticShock: ur right I’m a goddamn fool


Tsuboo: Ochako I love you


ochahoe: <3 <3


BubblegumBitch: Anyway, sorry to interrupt the adorable lesbsina but, y’all come make cookies with us!!!

How hasn’t UA burned


Stop: my kids are up to something


Bass Boosted Screaming: Why do u say that babe?


Stop: it’s my dad senses


Turkey Leg: Let them live a little they’ve been through enough for them to have a little fun


50shadesfreed: I agree!

                          There’s nothing wrong with them being rebellious kids for once


Stop: At their core they are all rebellious


Chowder: As long as they don’t get too out of hand. Aizawa how are their grades?


Stop: surprisingly well


Chowder: then I will pretend to know nothing


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shoooouuuuttttaaaaaaa


Stop: fine

I hate this fucking family


Stop: I’m fucking onto u Hitoshi and I’ve been convinced to let it slide but if u kids break too many things ur dead


Albert Einstein: how did u even


Bass Boosted Screaming: his dad senses were over 9000


Albert Einstein: never quote an outdated meme at me ever again


Stop: I will confiscate all the alcohol u kids somehow acquired


Albert Einstein: HOW DO U KNOW THAT


Stop: I know for sure now



shroomqueen420 -> bakuhoe


shroomqueen420: how r the cookies fam?


bakuhoe: I am so drunk


shroomqueen420: wh a t


bakuhoe: hi, shinsou here. Katsuki is very drunk and making cookies and it’s the single funniest thing I have ever seen


shroomqueen420: pics or it didn happen


bakuhoe: sent 5 images


shroomqueen420: o m g



Iidad: I cannot believe you all!


alpha daddy: listn Aizawa said as long as we dont break anythin


Iidad: This is inappropriate behavior!


ochahoe: iiiiiida pls just try and have fun!!! Think of it as a class bonding exercise!!


Iidad: ….


plain jane: why don’t you invite hatsume? I’m sure she would have fun with us!


Iidad: I don’t think…


ochahoe: oops my hand slipped an she’s on her way


Iidad: How dare,


Tsuboo: can someone stop Bakugou from aggressively whisking ingredients?


BubblegumBitch: absolutely fucking not


Gothbirb: He is going to make this kitchen into a nightmare


nest: but babe ur the only true nightmare here


Gothbirb: I love you so much


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: and Shoji is also drunk nice


nest: Bakugou is Gordon Ramsay just think about it


Hayley Kiyoko: ur right and u should say it


oneokrock: he’s actually Guy Fieri


todobaby: he couldn’t be….


plain jane: Todoroki please I am so tired


todobaby: I’m just saying it’s a strong coincidence..


plain jane: u have met his parents,,,,


todobaby: touche


shroomqueen420: how many of y’all be fuckin lit rn?


Tsuboo: Bakugou, Shinsou, Shoji, Ochako, Mina, Kaminari, Midoriya, Kirishima, and Jirou so far are very gone and the rest are happily buzzed sans Iida


shroomqueen420: and I wasn’t invited bc ????


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I can only take care of so many people pls


shroomqueen420: aight fair


Tsuboo: they are now trying to see if they can bake cookies on todoroki by just putting the dough on him


Naked&Afraid: omg it worked !!!!


todobaby: I have gained a decent amount of control over my fire side. I am grill


ochahoe: I’m proud of u


bakudaddy: Shoto is like oven


oneokrock: explain


bakudaddy: roasts me


alpha daddy: I hate u so fucking much I was gonna say that


bakudaddy: git gud scrub


Bill Nye: Oh! Hatsume is here!

               Let me add her!


Bill Nye added G2 to the conversation!




shroomqueen420: omg


G2: where is my Tenya


ochahoe: he’s trying to make sure the kitchen doesn’t fall into flames




Bill Nye: Keep the kitchen in order?




Bill Nye: Fuck.




todobaby: She curses all the time u fools u fucking cowafx


Bill Nye: Please don’t expose me like this.


Hayley Kiyoko: Babe I love when u curse


Bill Nye: Well then, Bakugou would you please give me lessons on cursing?


bakudaddy: no fuckig way u can fuk righ off w thaf


plain jane: that’s ru-TODOROKI PUT OUT THE KITCHEN


alpha daddy: o fuuuuck that shits on fire


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: this was such a bad idea but I don’t regret any of this at all




bakudaddy: I’m an entrepreneur bitch


The great british baking show: IN WHAT EXACTLY


bakudaddy: everything I do


alpha daddy: I shouldn’t find that as hot as I do


ochahoe: y’all I swear to god u have the highest libidos I have ever seen


alpha daddy: it’s not my fault my boyfriends are the two most handsoem guys in th class OKAY


StaticShock: ur valid


Lola: I see this is the perfect time to thank Bakugou for my birthday present. So thanks rookie, don’t drink too much


bakudaddy: die


StaticShock: What did he get u


bakudaddy: doNT


Lola: he got me a keychain of my favorite fighter!


BubblegumBitch: THATS SO CUTE






bakudaddy: ILL KILL YOU


oneokrock: I can handle the kitchen fire but I draw the line at murder 2nite




oneokrock: h

                   Wai t


Tsuboo: this was a bad idea form the start


Bill Nye: The night is only halfway over…


Tsuboo: guess we’ll die

Chapter Text



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: waiT guys I promised the guy I got this alcohol from that we would drink from the macho mug


Bill Nye: The what?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: the macho mug. It’s like u get a giant ass mug and everyone pours some of their drink in it and then a few people chug it


StaticShock: I vote Kat goes last bc he’ll take it as a challenge and drink all of it himself


ochahoe: that’s valid


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ok so I’ve gone and gotten this mug and people poured their drinks in and tasted it it’s awful


Hayley Kiyoko: who’s gonna chug?


Iidad: We should do this orderly! Everyone who wants to participate should get in a line!


Naked&Afraid: Bakugou already chugged all of it


StaticShock: DAMMIT


alpha daddy: I am cutting my two boys off


todobaby: why




alpha daddy: I won’t kiss you for a week


BubblegumBitch: he just YEETED his drink


ochahoe: and Kami yoinked it off the floor and drank it


Bill Nye: Someone please stop Bakugou from drinking hot sauce out of the bottle.


G2: 1A sure is a lot of fun!!! Tenya invite me over more!!


Iidad: You should know that you are welcome anytime!


G2: Swell!!!!!!!


Gothbirb: I am disappointed that I couldn’t partake in the macho mug


nest: we tried so hard it’s ok


Bill Nye: Why is Bakugou trying to kill Kaminari now?


ochahoe: Wait what tf just happened lkjdfakfh


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: denki: *calls kat*

                                             kat, answering his phone: hello?

                                             denki: hello, are you going to sugon??

                                             kat: wtf is that???

                                             denki: sugon dEEZ NUTS


Hayley Kiyoko: I’m sobbing I am actually cryin tears from my face


oneokrock: he is YELLING


Irlfurry: Should we stop Bakugou from murder?


Hayley Kiyoko: let him perish


G2: TENYA @Iidad


Iidad: Oh no


oneokrock: denki, as kat tries to kill him: YEET YAH

                    kat: DONT U FUCKIN YEET YAH ME


Hayley Kiyoko: press F to pay respects


ochahoe: F


ScotchTapExtraordinare: f


alpha daddy: z


Gothbirb: wrong letter


alpha daddy: fuck


BubblegumBitch: stop trying to kill my mans bakuhoe ;(((


ochahoe: dw dw my gal has got this


Iidad: Asui does have a way with words!


Hayley Kiyoko: spoke too soon


plain jane: Why are shin an todo cryin now


Naked&Afraid: Idk I don’t know what’s happening I’m drunk


oneokrock: BRO I KNOW



plain jane: but like tgat don’t answer any questikns


oneokrock: HOLD ON ILL ASK


alpha daddy: don’t worry y’all ws just crying because we figured out whose name we’ll take when we get married thanks to tsu


ochahoe: Kasjdjdnsnsks that’s my girl




BubblegumBitch: that’s adorabs


alpha daddy: Bakugou Hitoshi





StaticShock: hold on guys emergency

                      What are the youtube videos with the kid and the robot and they talk about history stuff

                      BRAIN POP


ochahoe: I’m fucking crying


StaticShock: I couldn’t REMEMBER

                      I was like “its like Ted Talks for Kids hold tf on”


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I love you so fucking much


BubblegumBitch: big m00d


The great british baking show: ok I fixed the cookies come get y’all juice


BubblegumBitch: I changed my mind Sato is my only love


StaticShock: babe no


BubblegumBitch: turns out ur just fam


alpha daddy: absolutley demolished


Bill Nye: Please stop making people cry!


alpha daddy: how about no


Hayley Kiyoko: try that answer again


alpha daddy: I mean, of course our lord and savior momo we will stop


Bill Nye: Thank you! :)


G2: Tenya is making mac and sheese for Kaminari to make him feel better!


plain jane: aw I wan some


Iidad: I will make mac and cheese for anyone who wants it!




BubblegumBitch: WOOOOOOOOO

How hasn’t UA burned


Stop: Should I go tell them to sleep now before more people start crying


Turkey Leg: Nah it’s how people bond


50shadesfreed: Even u can’t argue with that Shouta


Stop: Fine


Bass Boosted Screaming: It’s ok babe we know it was ur dad senses kicking in


Stop: I want a divorce


Bass Boosted Screaming: Never


50shadesfreed: they’ll tire themselves out eventually


Turkey Leg: they r going to Regret in the morning


Stop: it’s like I can already hear Hitoshi asking me about hangover cures.

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: Just wanna let u know ur lil bro is drunk as fuck right now


True Hoe: WHAT WHY


Turkey Leg: Woah calm down his whole class is drinking chill out


True Hoe: O I’m not upset actually I’m very proud I just never thought he would


Turkey Leg: Well apparently he’s crying because he’s thinking of his future and how he gets to change his name


True Hoe: What a cry baby

                 Tell him I love him


Turkey Leg: Do it urself


True Hoe: I CANT


Turkey Leg: pussy


True Hoe: W O W

                 Damn thought u liked me hoe


Turkey Leg: I’ve been tryna smash but like u ain’t game so u just the one that got away #feelsbadman


True Hoe: it’s against my religion to fuck a pro hero again


Turkey Leg: so you’ve done it before



True Hoe: yeah, guy had wings. Best sex I’ve ever had, loved the banter. Probably would have dated him if he wasn’t a pro


Turkey Leg: I WILL find out who it is


True Hoe: doubt



Iidad: If there is anyone left who is remotely sober, please help me get our classmates pillows and blankets and water!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: On it boss


Naked&Afraid: they r going to hate themselves in the morning.


Bill Nye: I can make blankets for them if you guys get the water!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: Thanks mom

Chapter Text

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: Hey it would be very much so helpful if u let me kno what cures hangovers thank


Stop: suffer


Bass Boosted Screaming: These are the mistakes you learn from


Albert Einstein: I hate you both



ScotchTapeExtraordinare: that’s how I ended up locked in a conference room sobbing while dancing to the Moana soundtrack while trying to write out shit on the whiteboard walls


Iidad: What the fuck is wrong with you all?


ochahoe: lots

How hasn’t UA burned


Turkey Leg: does anyone know what the oldest Todoroki sibling looks like???? It’s for science


Stop: no


Chowder: All we know is that he has some kind of fire related quirk! Endeavor won’t give out any other information.


Turkey Leg: sus


50shadesfreed: I don’t even want to know how he treated him for his child to leave like that


Bass Boosted Screaming: thankfully now you're taking care of Todoroki


50shadesfreed: it still doesn’t make up for the past he had to go through. It must have been hard


Turkey Leg: hey midnight add me back to ur funky lil gc real quick


50shadesfreed: ? Alright

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed added Turkey Leg to the chat!


Turkey Leg: so I think I’m in love w the oldest Todoroki sibling


50shadesfreed: yoURE WHAT


Bass Boosted Screaming: E XCUSE ME??????


Stop: for fucks sake


Turkey Leg: I’ve been talking to him since he messaged me and he seems really nice he cares a lot for his siblings. Hates Endeavors guts tho


Stop: but you’re saying you think that this is really him?


Turkey Leg: 100%


50shadesfreed: should I tell Todoroki?


Bass Boosted Screaming: I think it’s the right thing to do


50shadesfreed: alright I’ll get back to y’all

50shadesfreed -> Yuzuru Hanyu


50shadesfreed: Todoroki I have to talk to you about something


Yuzuru Hanyu: ? ok


50shadesfreed: it’s about your oldest brother


Yuzuru Hanyu: You guys finally captured him?


50shadesfreed: what do you mean captured?


Yuzuru Hanyu: Dabi, or I guess Touya, you have him in custody?


50shadesfreed: what


Yuzuru Hanyu: ? What you said it was about my oldest brother right? When Katsuki got kidnapped Dabi told me he was Touya


50shadesfreed: WHAT

                          OK THATS

                          O NO


Yuzuru Hanyu: ????


50shadesfreed: Todoroki, sweetie, don’t freak out but Hawks has been talking to your brother which now we know he’s a villain is Bad


Yuzuru Hanyu: He has been in contact with my brother...and you didn’t tell me


50shadesfreed: we weren’t sure it was him until Hawks told us today, we didn’t want to get your hopes up in case it was some freak pretending to be him so we decided to wait until we knew for sure


Yuzuru Hanyu: Give me his contact


50shadesfreed: I’ll ask Hawks it’s the least I can do since we didn’t tell you

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed: GUYS BAD BAD NEWS


Stop: ??????




Bass Boosted Screaming: WHAT


Turkey Leg: WHAT




Turkey Leg: o fuck o fuck o fuck o fuck


Bass Boosted Screaming: ok everyone CALM DOWN it’ll be fine




Stop -> Turkey Leg


Stop: kid calm down


Turkey Leg: nonono this is BAD I’ve been receiving intel from him for a mission given to me and now that might be compromised not to mention IVE SLEPT WITH HIM


Stop: it’ll be fine as long as you didn’t tell him about anything from your work


Turkey Leg: your right I have to go sift through our conversations now to make sure but I don’t think I’ve ever told him about work in detail or when I was doing anything


Stop: it’ll all work out ok just take a breath




Stop: are you still in love with him knowing that he didn’t tell you?


Turkey Leg: I don’t know


Stop: Well, you need to figure it out

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: I can’t believe that you’re Dabi, you asshole


True Hoe: How did you find that out


Turkey Leg: Your brother dipshit! Apparently you told him you were his older brother during the kidnapping and it doesn’t take much to connect the dots

                    I can’t fucking believe I almost fell for your good guy older brother act


True Hoe: I care about my siblings that’s not a fucking act


Turkey Leg: bullshit if you cared about them you wouldn’t have become a villain


True Hoe: Why the fuck are you getting so worked up about this


Turkey Leg: Because you fucking played me! I thought that maybe you would go back and make amends with your family! I thought you were a good guy who simply ran away from home not became a fucking villain!


True Hoe: You’re a villain too don’t you fucking forget. In fact you’re spying for us


Turkey Leg: It’s not the same situation at least I didn’t leave my family behind


True Hoe: At least I have a family


Turkey Leg: Are you sure about that


True Hoe: Fuck. You.


Turkey Leg: Already happened and will never fucking happen again. Don’t contact me unless it has something to do with the league.

Turkey Leg -> Stop


Turkey Leg: yeah Dabi can choke

Yuzuru Hanyu -> True Hoe


Yuzuru Hanyu: Dabi


True Hoe: Shoto

                 Heard you had fun and got drunk last night I’m proud of you


Yuzuru Hanyu: don’t use my first name and fuck you, you don’t get to be proud of me


True Hoe: nice to hear from you too little brother


Yuzuru Hanyu: how dare you


True Hoe: It’s what I had to do to get back at Endeavor


Yuzuru Hanyu: No, it’s not. You could have done so many different things but you left us. Then I finally start to put my life back together and you kidnap the love of my life? Bullshit it’s “what you had to do”


True Hoe: You don’t think I don’t know I just ran away? If I could change some of the things I’ve done I would but I can’t


Yuzuru Hanyu: If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you shouldn’t let your past fuck up your future but it seems like you just don’t want things to change


True Hoe: You don’t think I miss my younger siblings? You don’t think I miss mom? I do, so bad, but I when I’m done I want everyone to know what Endeavor did


Yuzuru Hanyu: As far as I’m concerned you’re just some villain targeting a pro hero


True Hoe: Shouto


This user is unable to see your message


True Hoe: FUCK


This user is unable to see your message

bitch WHERE


Yuzuru Hanyu: Can you two come to my roomm pleas


Albert Einstein: Are you ok love?


Yuzuru Hanyu: no


bakuhoe: we’re on the way

Chapter Text

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: you guys seriously couldn’t tell Shoto that you have been talking to his lost villain brother?


Stop: We weren’t sure if it was really him at first we needed to confirm it


Bass Boosted Screaming: We didn’t want to get his hopes up and we didn’t know that his brother was a villain


Albert Einstein: you don’t think that maybe he could have helped figure that out? Don’t you think he deserved to at least get that closure? He’s been through enough already


Stop: That’s exactly why we needed to confirm it before we told him, if it turned out to be someone pretending to be him then it would hurt him more


Albert Einstein: so you don’t trust that we could handle ourselves in these situations?


Stop: It doesn’t seem like you’re handling it right now


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta


Stop: I understand you kids are strong enough to deal with it but you’re still just kids


Albert Einstein: we don’t need your protection from everything! You guys won’t always be there to buffer things and in a year we’ll be starting hero careers where you can’t keep things like this from us


Albert Einstein has left the chat!


Stop: fuck


Bass Boosted Screaming: It’ll be okay Shouta he just needs to cool off


Stop: no, he’s right. I can’t protect them forever, I just worry


Bass Boosted Screaming: I know


Stop: I don’t want to lose him like his mom


Bass Boosted Screaming: you won’t

                                         just let them calm down and then we can talk about it again alright?


Stop: alright

plain jane -> Yuzuru Hanyu


plain jane: Hey Todoroki how are you doing?


Yuzuru Hanyu: about as good as someone who just confronted their long lost brother who turned villain and finally spoke their feelings about the matter can be


plain jane: right,,,,sorry,,,


Yuzuru Hanyu: I do appreciate you checking in though, thank you


plain jane: I know you have Kacchan and Shinsou but u can always talk to me too if you need


Yuzuru Hanyu: Thank you


plain jane: we’re all here for you, don’t forget <3


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m glad that I have people like you all in my life, I truly can’t imagine what it would have been like without you <3

oneokrock -> plain jane


oneokrock: babe why do you look like you’re about to cry into your bowl of froot loops?


plain jane: sent 1 image

                  He’s come so far,,,,,


oneokrock: fuck now I’m cying. How unmanly


plain jane: I think it’s really manly to show emotions


oneokrock: izuku I love you so much


plain jane: I love you too !!! <3


oneokrock: I’m coming to kiss you, u better finsih ur froot loops

ochahoe -> bakuhoe


ochahoe: how is our boy?


bakuhoe: first of all he’s mine, second he’s dealing. For now


ochahoe: has he talked about it?


bakuhoe: just that the pros kept it from him that they were in contact with his brother. He won’t tell us anymore than that


ochahoe: it must be a lot,,,


bakuhoe: wait hold on he’s giving us his phone so we can read the conversation


ochahoe: you don’t have to tell me what he said, just keep me updated if he’s ok or not


bakuhoe: whatever round face

Albert Einstein -> bakuhoe


Albert Einstein: do you think he’ll be okay ?


bakuhoe: he just needs some time, he spent all day talking about why Dabi left so now he’s exhausted


Albert Einstein: We should probably get him something to eat when he wakes up I don’t think he’s eaten anything all day


bakuhoe: I can’t move to go make something with him sleeping on me


Albert Einstein: I got it don’t worry love


bakuhoe: I’ll wake him up when you get back

How hasnt UA burned


50shadesfreed: hi yeah can someone explain to me why I just walked past nezus office and saw fucking DABI IN THERE


Turkey Leg: fucking what


MightyDad: It is alright! Aizawa is also here in case he decides to use his quirk!


Bass Boosted Screaming: My husband is in a potentially dangerous situation with one of the members of the league of villains on school grounds I am panicking the perfect amount thank you


50shadesfreed: why weren’t more of us notified?


kirbysucc: I don’t know but I am curious as to why


Chowder: Touya is going to be part of a program that reforms villains.


kirbysucc: oop


Chowder: He will have police supervision and a pro with him at all times.


Bass Boosted Screaming: WHY THO


Chowder: He got word that Endeavor was no longer Todoroki’s guardian he wanted to come forward with his story to see if that could help anything


kirbysucc: why are you on ur phone aren’t u supposed to be talking to dabi?


Chowder: Aizawa is questioning him because his brother is dating his son


Bass Boosted Screaming: Is he serious about not wanting to be a villain anymore?


Chowder: Apparently when he talked to Todoroki he decided he needed to talk to him. Not as a villain but as a brother


50shadesfreed: I need to tell Todoroki this, it’s already bad enough that he doesn’t know his own brother is in the building


Bass Boosted Screaming: maybe it will be good for them to talk face to face?

Chapter Text

50shadesfreed -> Yuzuru Hanyu


50shadesfreed: Todoroki, I know you’re still mad but can you come to the principal's office?


Yuzuru Hanyu: Fine



BubblegumBitch: why does Todoroki look like he’s gonna roast us all to dust?


plain jane: I don’t know


bakudaddy: he didn’t tell me or Hitoshi anything


oneokrock: well fuck


todobaby: I can read all these messages you bitches


bakudaddy: I know babe I’m not fucking stupid


todobaby: debatable

                  Anyway just drop it


bakudaddy: Shoto


todobaby: Katsuki


bakudaddy: Fine whatever


todobaby: It doesn’t matter just drop it okay?


bakudaddy: Fucking fine don’t tell me then


todobaby: I just

                 Katsuki you

                 nevermind you’ll see soon anyway


bakudaddy: I just don’t see why you can’t tell me now, it doesn’t have to be in this shitty chat


todobaby: I don’t want to fucking talk about it


bakudaddy: Fine



BubblegumBitch: uhm,,,


plain jane: I’m sure they’ll be fine


ochahoe: he won’t even tell bakubinch


plain jane: that is concerning


Iidad: I’m sure everything will be fine! Please pay attention to class!


StaticShock: whatever dad



Iidad: Everything is not fine, I retract my statement.


nest: are you fucking kidding me


Gothbirb: a mad banquet of darkness


BubblegumBitch: Are you guys okay?


bakudaddy: considering he kidnapped me and grabbed me by my throat and dragged me through a portal and then kidnapped me again and helped steal my goddamn blood I could be fucking better


todobaby: considering he left me and my family and then turned into a villain and then proceeded to kidnap my boyfriend twice in front of me I could also be fucking better


plain jane: if you two ever need to talk,,,I’m here


bakudaddy: Lets fucking fight deku


plain jane: wh

                  Wait n o






bakudaddy: fucking fine


Bill Nye: I can understand why they want to help but letting Dabi sit in on some of our classes where multiple students have bad and traumatic experiences regarding him is not the way to do things.


Chowder: We understand the concern of you students but we believe this will be beneficial in the long run. Touya will only be in a few classes to start and he will constantly be monitored he has proven to have the drive to break himself of being a villain. This is a new program we will be trying to rehab villains however Touya is our first test. If you have any more concerns please do let us know about them!


todobaby: I have a comment.


Chowder: Yes Todoroki what is it?


todobaby: fuck you


50shadesfreed: Todoroki we talked about this


todobaby: No, you told me what was happening and then sent me to class after seeing my brother for the first time in years outside of him being a villain. I didn't get to say anything so I’m saying it now. Fuck you


todobaby has left the chat!


Hayley Kiyoko: So why not just make an actual rehabilitation program?


Tsuboo: I’m sure there is somewhere else for him to do that.


Chowder: Prisons do offer rehab programs however we want to help as well.


bakudaddy has left the conversation!


Stop: I told you they would be against this


plain jane: I think that everyone has a chance to make their past right Principal, but I don’t think making students who are just recovering from traumatic experiences see the villain that played a huge part every day is right. Maybe he shouldn't be able to sit in just yet? Give it time. I don’t want to see the important people in my life upset.


Chowder: Thank you for telling us this Midoriya! We can revise things because we don’t want to make students uncomfortable. With the reaction from all of you, I see that it will have to be a very slow process.

Yuzuru Hanyu -> bakuhoe


Yuzuru Hanyu: Want to go spar


bakuhoe: I really shouldn’t but goddamn I need to explode something


Yuzuru Hanyu: we can have a fight finally


bakuhoe: are you sure?


Yuzuru Hanyu: No

                         Im sorry

                         For earlier

                         I just

                         I have to see him every day now and I’m just not ready to forget he left me and my mother and siblings to be subject to years of abuse. I shouldn’t blame him. It’s not his fault.

                         He got away because my father tried to put him through the same thing as me except he wasn’t valued like I was. He was probably treated worse and I’m just being selfish for not wanting to go through my life alone.

                           I just wanted my older brother

                           Now I’m just talking about myself when I was trying to apologize and trying to justify why I was a dick and I hate it and I’m sorry


bakuhoe: Do you want to go see the school therapist with me instead of fighting?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I don’t know


bakuhoe: we can go talk to the old lady and if you still wanna go blow off some steam we can

                I think what we both need to do is talk


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m sorry


bakuhoe: Shoto don’t apologize


Yuzuru Hanyu: No, I should have told you. You should have been prepared to see him too. I’m sorry


bakuhoe: When they kidnapped me he asked about you. I thought it was weird at the time because it was questions that sounded like he was actually curious about how you were. Of fucking course I didn’t tell him shit but it makes sense now.

                 But you don’t need to apologize, I should have respected your space or whatever fuck you know I’m bad at this


Yuzuru Hanyu: But you’re trying and I’m proud of you. You know I’m not the best at expressing things either.

                          I just don’t understand why Dabi did what he did. He became a villain and I don’t know why. I don’t know why he did any of this and it’s making me angry

                          I’m sorry

                          I’m sorry Im a mess and I have problems I can’t handle and I don’t deserve you or Hitoshi. You two try hard to get help and I just keep my feelings until they explode like this and I’m sorry


bakuhoe: where are you I’m coming to get ur ass and show you how much I love you and bringing Hitoshi with me


Yuzuru Hanyu: courtyard

Chapter Text

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: I see you’re in “rehab”


True Hoe: I see you’re still a bitch


Turkey Leg: wow so original


True Hoe: oh get off your fucking high horse


Turkey Leg: what and stoop to your level? Not a fucking chance.


True Hoe: I know you’re still spying for the villains and I’ve let the school know


Turkey Leg: you’re a fucking idiot

Turkey Leg -> Stop


Turkey Leg: Dabi almost ruined my infiltration mission


Stop: and you’re telling me because?


Turkey Leg: Idk ur the only one that knows ab it and I’m Sad


Stop: what’s really bothering you


Turkey Leg: what? Why does something else have to be bothering me


Stop: well then I’m gonna go if you dont have anything else to talk about


Turkey Leg: ....

                    OKAY FINE


Stop: thought so, what is it?


Turkey Leg: why do I still like Touya?


Stop: what makes you think I can help with that?


Turkey Leg: You’ve been happily married for 12 years already and you’re the only one I can really go to regarding this


Stop: Listen I have my own problems to deal with right now


Turkey Leg: but I just don’t know why I still like him even though I hate him for lying


Stop: for lying or just leading you on?


Turkey Leg: what?


Stop: for lying about who he was or leading you on knowing you could never have a relationship like you wanted and giving you false hopes?


Turkey Leg: you’re saying I’m mad because he played my emotions for filth?


Stop: I don’t know what that means entirely but yes


Turkey Leg: o my fucking god you’re right


Stop: always am

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: why did you decide to go good


True Hoe: Because I did wrong by my brother and I’m realizing my mistakes. I was a dick


Turkey Leg: just because of your brother?


True Hoe: I wanna see if mom’s okay. If she got away from him

                The fuck are you asking these questions for


Turkey Leg: no reason


True Hoe: I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore


Turkey Leg: I realized why I was actually mad at you  

                   forget it


True Hoe: stop being weird just tell me if you have something to say


Turkey Leg: nevermind


True Hoe: whatever


Turkey Leg: so you’re serious about being good now?


True Hoe: I still think Stain was right about heroes, they should only be heroes if their true intent is to save and help. Horrible people like my father shouldn’t be able to be heroes but sometimes you have to stop sacrificing things you love for an ideology that will do nothing but keep changing


Turkey Leg: you still think stain was right in what he did?


True Hoe: I think that his idea was right. His methods weren’t, there were heroes who did try to help but he just killed them and at the time I was blinded by his resolve

                 I also realized that you can’t change how everyone thinks and treats other people. I’ve seen my brother basically get disowned because he had a weak quirk, the world is fucked and I’ve just decided that if I can make sure my family is safe then the world will be fine


Turkey Leg: That was deep man


True Hoe: really I type all that shit and my feelings out and that’s what u say


Turkey Leg: I was trying to break the tension did it work?


True Hoe: yeah I guess


Turkey Leg: good




Bass Boosted Screaming -> Albert Einstein


Bass Boosted Screaming: are you still mad at Shouta?


Albert Einstein:


Bass Boosted Screaming: do you want me to add you back into the message?


Albert Einstein: yeah

I hate this fucking family


Bass Boosted Screaming added Albert Einstein to the conversation!


Bass Boosted Screaming: there we go!


Stop: Hitoshi


Albert Einstein: Aizawa


Bass Boosted Screaming: So Hitoshi how was your day


Albert Einstein: oh you know it was good and all especially with the villain who traumatized both my boyfriends there. Great day


Stop: I told them it was a bad idea


Bass Boosted Screaming: it’s true, he was really against it


Albert Einstein: yeah but he’s still here


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi you know there’s nothing we can do about that...we tried already to have him rehabbed somewhere else


Albert Einstein: it’s just not fair to them


Stop: I know


Albert Einstein: I just have two boyfriends going to the school counselor for an impromptu visit after Katsuki dragged me to find a crying Shoto



How hasn’t UA burned


Stop: okay I’m putting my foot down. I’ve had two students go to the school counselor because of Dabi being here. He doesn’t come near my class.


Chowder: That’s completely understandable! We’ve decided to slowly integrate him into the school since he’s a special case with being the son of the number 1 hero.


Stop: Fine but if he gets near my class I will not hesitate


50shadesfreed: hesitate with what


Stop: I won’t hesitate


kirbysucc: understandable


50shadesfreed: oh my


Bass Boosted Screaming: ?


50shadesfreed: Todoroki has asked to speak with Touya

Chapter Text



alpha daddy: Shouto hasn’t texted us or anything im getting a little worried


ochahoe: I’m sure he’s just fine!


plain jane: yeah!! He would tell you if something is wrong


alpha daddy: yeah I guess you’re right


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: wait here he comes


BubblegumBitch: is he wearing airpods????



                     “Hm, smells like BROKE in here.”




Tsuboo: he deserves it for that meme


bakudaddy: ur right but I’m dating that idiot so


todobaby: the only reason I’m still glad to have ties back to En***** is bc I can still use his credit cards


Iidad: you are, as the kids say, “valid”


todobaby: thank you

Too r$ch




shroomqueen420: I second that yo


bakuhoe: no


Yuzuru Hanyu: I think it’s a good idea


bakuhoe: ….fine


shroomqueen420: #whipped


bakuhoe: #single


shroomqueen420: damn there was no need to come for my life like that


bakuhoe: try me bitch




todobaby: sure


bakuhoe: fine


shroomqueen420: YEET




shroomqueen420: Ur telin g me

                               That a sh

                               A shrimp fried this r eic


bakuhoe: o my fucking god i hate u so much



BubblegumBitch: squad din this weekend?


StaticShock: YES


bakuhoe: im going to get dinner with the shiketsu idiots and shouto


BubblegumBitch: damn


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: F but like can we have spaghetti?  


oneokrock: I’ll supply the noodz


BubblegumBitch: sext


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: sext


StaticShock: sext


bakuhoe: stop saying sext when someone messages shit


BubblegumBitch: consider this: no


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: tell him babe


StaticShock: seeing mina win an argument w blasty? Sext


bakuhoe: jesus christ


oneokrock: trying to sneak around the campus but Im dummy thicc and the clap from my ass cheeks keeps alerting everyone


                    That was supposed to be to Izuku


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: bitch that sent me im go n e








oneokrock: uhm,,, dotn worry ab it?????


bakuhoe: no what the fuck r u sending


oneokrock: h

                   Well, we had originally been talking ab if we should sneak into the teachers lounge and yeah,,,


ScotchTapeExtraordniare: I hate that its impossible to hate you two


bakuhoe: no its not ur just a bitch


oneokrock: blasty u rly hate us???? ;(


bakuhoe: more than anything


BubblegumBitch: lov u too





plain jane: WOOOO


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: now that’s a fucking sext if I’ve ever read one


Iidad: There is no sexting in this group chat!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: ur not even my real dad


ochahoe: gasp don’t talk to ur father like that


Tsuboo: yeah Sero you’ll hurt his feelings


Iidad: My feelings are not hurt as I am, in fact, not his real father


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: so ur saying I’m adOPTED


plain jane: we should have told you sooner we’re sorry


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: I cannot believe this

                                          I have to move to a remote part of Scandinavia now to truly find myself but before I do that I’ll weave baskets to get by but soon I’ll fall into the trap that is art and completely forget my objective and will never return home, my long lost sister will go look for me but it will be in vain as I’ve changed my name and how I look. I belong to the wind now


alpha daddy: that sounds oddly specific


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: don’t worry about it


alpha daddy: alright then


Hayley Kiyoko: wait guys watch this

                         I kissed her


bakuhoe: no


Hayley Kiyoko: It was one kiss and it meant absolutely nothing to me, I did such a stupid thing


bakuhoe: is she prettier than me?


Hayley Kiyoko: no!


bakuhoe: LIAR


Hayley Kiyoko: no ba-


bakuhoe: what am I supposed to do now huh? What the fuck am I supposed to do now? You’ve ruined everything!


Tsuboo: wow I hated that


alpha daddy: im taking away tik tok privileges


bakuhoe: I breathed


todobaby: u sinned



Albert Einstein: shouto are you okay though?


Yuzuru Hanyu: I’m better than I thought I would be


bakuhoe: do u wanna talk about it


Yuzuru Hanyu: there's not much to share. We just talked, almost too comfortably after a few minutes

                         It was like I was actually talking to my brother it was...nice almost

                         We talked about why he left and there may be some burn marks and frozen pipes but after that, things calmed down and it was like Touya was really back


Albert Einstein: I’m glad that you finally got that closure shouto


Yuzuru Hanyu: thanks, I would prefer to keep what we talked about between us though. At least for now I just don’t want to talk about it


bakuhoe: alright then, we won’t


Yuzuru Hanyu: I love you two


bakuhoe: love you too


Albert Einstein: Love you too Shouto

I hate this fucking family


Albert Einstein: so I’m not mad at u guys anymore


Bass Boosted Screaming: Hitoshi!!!!


Stop: good


Bass Boosted Screaming: hows Todoroki


Albert Einstein: surprisingly well


Stop: that’s good


Albert Einstein: also I wanted to say sorry for getting mad in the first place, I should have listened to your reasoning more instead of letting my anger get the best of me


Stop: everyone could have handled it better


Bass Boosted Screaming: I MISSED MY LOVING FAMILY


Albert Einstein: yeah yeah


Stop: u always miss us


Bass Boosted Screaming: I just have lots of love for you two


Stop: I know


Albert Einstein: I know


Bass Boosted Screaming: wow the genetics just JUMPED out


Stop: jesus

Chapter Text



BubblegumBitch: guys I bought us cookie decorating kits for Valentine’s Day!!!


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: so for like two days ago?


BubblegumBitch: yup!!


oneokrock: !!! Are they to make at squad dinner


BubblegumBitch: Eiji u know me so well


StaticShock: Awe But we makin them without Blasty ;(


bakuhoe: good


BubblegumBitch: we can make one for him dw dw


StaticShock: Fine I guess


StaticShock: wait is Shinbro going with you?


bakuhoe: no he said it wouldn’t be a true squad dinner if he went and said he would just take a nap


BubblegumBitch: we gotta invite Shin !!!!


StaticShock: on it

StaticShock -> Albert Einstein


StaticShock: bro





Albert Einstein: ?


StaticShock: come eat squad dinner and decorate cookies w us


Albert Einstein: can I draw a dick on one of the cookies?


StaticShock: of course


Albert Einstein: aight im game

Too r$ch


shroomqueen420: r u guys almost hereeeeeee


bakuhoe: shut the fuck up


Yuzuru Hanyu: We just got off the train




bakuhoe: we know we can hear you talking from here




Yuzuru Hanyu: Inasa you’re really tall it wouldn’t be a problem finding you anyway




bakuhoe: just dont fucking hug meakAJSHAJ



shroomqueen420: YALL LOOK

                                Sent 1 image

                                SQUADS BACK


alpha daddy: theres where my hoes went


ochahoe: damn shin u can’t even keep ur hoes straight how u gonna keep ur missions secret


alpha daddy: damn u right time to get it together


bakudaddy: u know where we went shut the fuck up


alpha daddy: let me pretend to be a dumbass g o d


bakuhoe: u are a dumbass


todobaby: you’re both dumbasses


plain jane: Todoroki you literally opened my door yesterday, dabbed, and left. Then today in the kitchen you fortnite danced at me


ochahoe: nah he wouldn’t do that


StaticShock: ok mido sure he did


todobaby: I don’t know what you’re talking about I went and returned your book and I just got water?


Iidad: See, he would not do those things!


Tsuboo: Todoroki is too stoic for that

Yuzuru Hanyu -> plain jane


Yuzuru Hanyu: :)


plain jane: you sick bastard


Yuzuru Hanyu: I do not know what you’re talking about


plain jane: one day I’ll catch you on camera...then you will regret



alpha daddy: hey do u think I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?


todobaby: you’re a hazard to society


bakudaddy: and a coward

                    Do 20


oneokrock: wow...need me a relationship like that omg


plain jane: Eijirou do you really want me to shove 20 marshmallows in my mouth


oneokrock: no please don’t do that babe you’ll choke


BubblegumBitch: not the first time probably


oneokrock: M IN A


BubblegumBitch: what? He’s definitely done the chubby bunny challenge before


oneokrock: god will remember your sins and when the time comes he will not be merciful


BubblegumBitch: wow the old emo phase JUMPED out


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yall shut up and decorate these cookies


BubblegumBitch: can I just like,,,kiss u instead


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: denki will decorate our cookies


BubblegumBitch: nice


StaticShock: did,,,did y’all knOw that cranberries come from a CRANBERRY B O G

                       I would tell my partners but they’re too busy MAKING OUT


Tsuboo: I don’t know what to do with that information


alpha daddy: you’ll know when the time is right


Tsuboo: thnx wise sage


alpha daddy: np


StaticShock: Anyway

                      I put on this cookie icing that spells out I’m gay


alpha daddy: I drew a dick on one for my firecracker


bakudaddy: great, now go eat a dick


alpha daddy: W O W


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: (World Of Warcraft)


BubblegumBitch: you stopped making out w me to send that?


ScotchTapeExtraordinare: yea


BubblegumBitch: god I love you


todobaby: how Katsuki hasn’t punched Camie yet I don't know


shroomqueen420: wym


todobaby: you grabbed his chest and then your own and asked what his cup size was


ochahoe: HFKJAASDK


shroomqueen420: what he’s like the same size as me I was jus curious


bakuhoe: hey camie


shroomqueen420: yeah bae


bakuhoe: look up from your phone


shroomqueen420: lmao wha


todobaby: he just poured her drink over her food


shroomqueen420: bro y


bakuhoe: bc fuck you thats why


shroomqueen420: jokes on u im still gonna eat this soda soaked sandwich




Iidad: Mei!




Iidad: Mei we talked about sleep!




Iidad: I will let the teachers know about you sneaking into the workshop don’t think I won’t!


G2: fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine I’ll sleep !!!


Iidad: good!


G2: come over though !!!!


Iidad: I will!


G2: !!!!!


StaticShock: yall wild

Turkey Leg -> True Hoe


Turkey Leg: how’s living w the constant watch


True Hoe: fucking awful


Turkey Leg: ok then hear me out

                     What if I convince them to let you go out with just me for the day

                     Like tomorrow ?

                     Just so you don’t go completely insane


True Hoe: Like a date?


Turkey Leg: pfffft whaaaaat???? A da a date ????


True Hoe: ….

                 If ur not gonna step the fuck up and admit it


Turkey Leg: yea yes yEs ok like a date


True Hoe: okay


Turkey Leg: H




True Hoe: wow cant believe the number two hero is such a dork


Turkey Leg: I have a repuTATION


True Hoe: hm I’m sure


Turkey Leg: It’s true


True Hoe: ok #2 I’ll see you tomorrow then

Two shots of vodka


50shadesfreed has added Turkey Leg to the conversation!


Stop: what is it this time


Turkey Leg: I’ve never been on an actual date and I have one tomorrow




Stop: good god


Turkey Leg: listen,,, I’ve had flings but never this shit ok


Stop: Touya?


Turkey Leg: yEA


50shadesfreed: WHAT


Bass Boosted Screaming: YOU FINALLY DID IT


Turkey Leg: I did surprisingly


Stop: so what the fuck do you want from us


Turkey Leg: well you’re all in relationships right


50shadesfreed: yes


Stop: no


Bass Boosted Screaming: Shouta :(((


Stop: yes I have been in a relationship of sorts for 15 years


Bass Boosted Screaming: >:(


Stop: FINE I have been in a loving marriage with my husband who I love for 12 years


Bass Boosted Screaming: :) <3


Turkey Leg: ANYWAY back to my gay panic


Stop: literally just talk to him


Turkey Leg: how


Stop: with your mouth


Turkey Leg: right okay got it


50shadesfreed: good luck!!!!


Turkey Leg: I’m going to need it


Bass Boosted Screaming: you'll be fine!


Turkey Leg: okay maybe I can do it


Stop: do you doubt yourself like this on missions?


Turkey Leg: of course not


Stop: Then you shouldn’t be doubting yourself now


Turkey Leg: you’re right

                    Okay this date is gonna go well, Imma make sure of it


Bass Boosted Screaming: THATS THE SPIRIT