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Tell Me You Love Me

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Eromantic delusions: the belief that someone important or famous is in love with you.

“He doesn’t love you.”

Stalking: the act or crime of willfully and repeatedly following or harassing another person.

“You’re screwing this up. Can’t you see he’s annoyed?”

Schizophrenia: a mental disorder characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to understand reality. Common symptoms include false beliefs, unclear or confused thinking, and…hallucinations.

“I said shut up!” Jared yelled, his face warm with embarrassment as he realized that was a bit too loud. People were looking. People were looking at him.

Dolos laughed, voice dripping with the usual mockery as he sat on the table, between a salad bowl and a tray of sandwiches. “Now, now. Keep shouting like that, and others might start thinking you’re crazy,” he sneered, obviously enjoying the frustrated glare he received from Jared, before shrugging. “And anyway, you know I’m right. Nothing good will come out of you following him around like an excited little puppy. The man’s busy. And you’re in the way.”

“I am not,” Jared hissed, pain shooting up from his palms as he realized he was clenching his fists, hard enough for the knuckles to go white and for his nails to sink into his flesh.

Taking a deep breath, Jared looked around the set. He hasn’t been a volunteer here for long, but he already knew everyone’s name, birthday, and home address. They were shooting a famous series, about supernatural creatures and hunters, gods and monsters, angels and demons. A bit too much fantasy for him, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t mind the torturous hours, the constant requests and the occasional degrading comments a simple slave—because let’s be honest, all he did day after day was serve the actors their drinks and run around fulfilling demands, like a wishing star working on overtime—like him was expected to get. None of that mattered, as long as he could be around the love of his life, Jensen.
Jensen Ackles was the epitome of perfection. Every thin strand of hair, every skin cell, down to the very air that left his lungs was precious. It killed Jared, only being able to see him through the screen of his laptop, his phone, his television. The posters that covered every inch of his bedroom walls weren’t enough. The zoomed in pictures of the man’s piercing eyes and plush lips, of every flawless body part that he printed and stapled wherever he could weren’t enough. The photographs he bought from journalists for a fortune, and the items the man left behind or has given away, the signatures, they weren’t enough. None of them could satisfy his craving for this man, for the only man he could ever be with. His secret lover.

They were meant to be. Jared knew that. He knew that. He knew it, because Jensen’s been giving him signals. It was incredible… When he first heard those three words. I love you. It was the happiest moment of Jared’s life, as he sat in front of the laptop and stared at the screen. As he rewound the episode, listening to Jensen profess his love to him over, and over, and over, and over again. As he downloaded the sound file, now listening to those three syllables until he fell asleep.

And maybe it seemed as if Jensen was only reading a script, but Jared knew that wasn’t true.

Oh no, he knew. No one else did. No one else believed him, but he– He knew. He knew the truth. All those breathtaking smiles, all those crinkles around the man’s eyes, they were for Jared. All those addictive laughs, all those nonchalant winks, they were for Jared. All those knowing looks into the camera, all those flirty remarks…

They. Were. For. Jared.

And after a year of just watching, of being apart from his boyfriend, after all those little hints of their love that never let up, meaning that Jensen never gave up on him… After all of that, Jared couldn’t take it any longer. He had to meet him. He had to see him, in flesh. He had to breathe the same air as him, he had to touch him, to talk to him, to have him talk to Jared, he… He needed it. More than the food he ate and the water he drank, he needed it more than the blood in his veins.

So he applied for a volunteer program at the studio. Big sets for popular movies and TV shows are always looking for a little extra work force. Free work force. The fans are usually the easiest targets, but it was never easy weeding out the weirdos and the hardcore worshippers. What losers… Of course, they ended up picking Jared, along with some random girl named Melia, who he couldn’t give two craps about. They went through excessive screening, questionnaires, and interviews, Jared passing them all with ease. Not that it came as a surprise—he wasn’t a great big fan of the show, but knew enough to seem interested. During the interview, he lied about his motivation, because of course he couldn’t let these people know about his hidden relationship with Jensen.

And then finally, he could start working. Near Jensen. Watching Jensen. Talking to Jensen… He still hadn’t washed the hand the man shook when he greeted Jared. God, his hand. So warm, so strong, so soft yet calloused, so—

“Hey!” Dolos snapped his fingers in front of his face, snapping Jared out of his daze. “Earth calling psycho. Loverboy’s on his way over here, so you better get it together. Unless you wanna ruin your uh, impressive amount of zero chance with him.”

Jared shot him a glare, before raising his gaze to the man approaching the snack table. The air shifted around them, Jensen’s cologne sweeping him off his feet, and the closer he got, the faster Jared’s heart beat. Oh, god, he couldn’t control himself, no, he had to control himself, or, or…

“Or poor Jensen’s gonna run away screaming. Hah, I mean what do you even expect? You’re a goddamn weirdo. No, not even that, you’re actually insa—”

“Shut up!” Jared exclaimed, irritated, and then quickly covered his mouth as he noticed Jensen recoil. “Oh, no, I didn’t mean you!” He tried to save the situation, but just looking at Jensen had him shaking and sweating, let alone talking to him while keeping eye contact. His heart. His heart couldn’t take it.

Thankfully, Jensen didn’t seem that freaked out. Snorting, he stepped over to the table and picked up a donut. “I know how you feel. I also hate it when the donuts whisper their sweet, sweet temptations in my ear,” he said with a charming smirk, before taking a big bite out of the donut, accidentally smearing powdered sugar across his upper lip. Sweet powder, that Jared was sure would taste even sweeter while being licked off of that mouth.

“Y-Yeah. Yes. Very tempting…” Jared gulped, tapping his foot against the ground and counting backwards from a hundred as he tried to calm his breathing. He was almost panting, that wasn’t good, not good, he couldn’t let Jensen know, he couldn’t let him see.

“So,” Jensen said, sucking the jelly out of the donut, and Jared thought he was going to have an aneurysm right there, “how do you like it here? It must be pretty rough. Especially since you’re not getting paid.”

“Ah…” He scratched the back of his head, his legs moving on their own as he moved closer to the other. “Ah, I like it. I love everything about it. Every tiny little part, I adore,” he breathed, gazing into those gorgeous eyes. My god. From this close, Jared could see it all. Every little droplet of caramel freckle; every single black, long, beautiful eyelash that framed those deep arborvitae green eyes; the crow’s foot that was begging to be smoothed out and licked; and the delicate curve of that soft, plush mouth.

“Uh.” Jensen’s tongue darted out, licking his lips in unease– Lust. In lust. Because he wanted Jared, wanted him right here and now, he was sure of it. “I’m glad that… Yeah. As long as you like it.” He cleared his throat, flashing the other a hesitant smile. “So, what do you like here? I mean, I guess you must be a fan of the show.” He cocked his head. “Or are you just interested in media?”

Jared couldn’t decide whether to stare at the stunning man’s eyes or lips. They were both intoxicating. He would have been happy to drown in either of them… “I love, I…” He batted his eyelashes, biting his lip and clutching at his chest. “I love acting. Actors. How they can switch personalities so easily, how they can bring each character to life, feel their emotions, become that person.” He took another daring step forward. “I love your acting. You have such…expressive eyes. I can tell what you’re feeling without having to try at all. What the character is feeling. It’s as if they were your own emotions, you feel and experience them so powerfully. I love that…about you.” He gazed into the man’s confused fond eyes. “I love—”

“Break’s over! Everyone back to their marks!”
Jensen took a step back with a small chuckle. “Well, I’ve gotta go now.” He quickly shoved the rest of the donut into his mouth, before wiping the powdered sugar and jam from his lips and tossing the napkin into the bin. “But it was nice talking to you. Keep up the good work, kid!”

Jared watched as the man went back to the set, a long, enamored sigh leaving him at the sight of those bow legs. So cute.

Once everyone was gone, back to shooting the episode, he glanced at the bin. That napkin… It had Jensen’s saliva. The jam that touched his mouth, the sugar that clung to his lips… Jared gulped, quickly double checking that he was alone, before creeping over to the bin and fishing the dirty napkin out.

“Oh, come on.” Dolos sounded pained from just having to witness this creepy ass behavior. “You can’t be seriously– Oh, man. Jesus.” He laughed incredulously.

“How many times do I have to tell you to shut up,” Jared hissed as he clutched the napkin, crouching next to the bin.

“Not nearly enough… Gollum.”

Shut up,” he said anyway, ignoring Dolos’ eye-roll, and got to his feet as he pocketed the napkin and snuck away to the bathroom. Entering the first, no, last stall, he locked the door and sat on the toilet, before pulling out the stained napkin, licking his lips, breathing heavy.

“God, you’re freaking even me out. And I’m just a hallucination,” Dolos said with distaste, leaning against the stall and crossing his arms.

Jared glared at him, before squeezing his eyes shut and letting his head hang. Dolos was right. Dolos… Jared named him that. He remembered the name from a book about Greek mythology. Dolos was a spirit of trickery, of deceptions, cunning and treacherous. Sounded about right, since Jared’s senses were deceiving him…

Yes. He knew it, for a long time now. He knew that he was hallucinating, seeing and hearing things—well, usually he only saw and heard Dolos, who wouldn’t stop following him around and commenting, criticizing—that weren’t there. But. But just because he was haunted by some jerk, it didn’t mean he was crazy. He didn’t care what the psychiatrists said, what Dolos said, what anyone said! He wasn’t like those schizophrenic lunatics out there. He was better, saner. He was normal. Save the hallucinations, but he has gotten used to those.

“Sure, you’re totally normal,” Dolos scoffed, giving him an unimpressed look. “A completely normal, schizophrenic stalker.”

“I’m neither of those!” Jared snapped, tempted to punch Dolos, but he learned it the hard, painful way that he would just be hurting his own fist if he tried punching something that wasn’t really there. “And I’d appreciate it if you’d get out of my fucking head.”

“Watch your mouth, mister,” Dolos drawled, taunting. “I doubt Jensen likes kids who use such foul language.”

That shut him up, but he still glared at Dolos. Silently.

Unable to will that bastard away, unfortunately, Jared tried to ignore him instead as he opened his palm, staring at the napkin in his hand. He chewed on his lips, anxious and excited, before raising the napkin to his lips and giving it a little lick. It was so sweet, sweeter than anything he has ever tasted before, and it made an aroused chill run down his spine, all the way to his crotch, where it spread fire across every part of his groin and stomach. He was tasting Jensen, he was… Stealing an indirect kiss from Jensen. He could feel the man on his lips, on his tongue. Inside of him. Could feel those tender lips against his neck, his arms, his back, goosebumps flooding his skin as the intense sensation increased with every lick of the napkin, Jared’s cock pressing against his pants by the time he cleaned the napkin of every stain, with his tongue.

“You’re disturbing, I hope you know that,” Dolos groaned derisively, before adding, “Actually, no, that’s the wrong ‘dis-‘ word. You are disgusting.”

Jared sat there, panting as he stared blindly at the wet napkin. He licked his lips, shivering, before swiftly getting to his feet and flushing the napkin.

“I’m afraid to ask,” Dolos started as he followed Jared, who all but rushed out of the bathroom, heading outside, “but where the hell are you going all of a sudden…?”

“I need more,” he blurted, all intentions of ignoring Dolos vanishing as this powerful drive in him intensified the closer he got to his destination. “That napkin, it… Not enough. It’s not enough, I need more of him. I need him, I crave him, I need to feel him, need him inside me so bad,” Jared whined desperately, before finally stopping and pressing his hands against the white door.

Dolos looked horrified. “Don’t…tell me. Don’t tell me that this is Jensen’s trailer.”

Jared shot his annoying hallucination a glare. “You know it is his trailer. You know everything I know, so stop acting so surprised,” he hissed, producing a hair wire clip and picking the lock.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Yes, you can. Now shut up.”

“No, I can’t! Don’t you understand what you’re doing?!”

“I understand what you are doing!” Jared snapped, before biting his tongue. Shit. He couldn’t yell at Dolos. At nothing… “You,” he hissed lowly, quietly, “just want to discourage me. Stop me from being happy. That’s what you’ve always wanted. Criticizing my every move and thought, feelings, even! If you’re supposed to be some extreme version of my rational self or something, then thanks, but I don’t need rationality in my life!”

Dolos sighed. “You’re breaking into a guy’s, a famous actor’s trailer. You really think it’s extreme of me to think you’ve gone crazy?” He sneered. “Well, even crazier than you already were.”

“Jensen will understand. He won’t be mad. It’s not a crime if we’re in love.”

“But he doesn’t—!”

“Got it!” Jared quickly put the hair clip away and opened the door, taking one quick look around before sneaking inside.

He stood very still as his eyes lit up with awe. Jensen’s trailer. Jensen’s personal belongings. The couch Jensen sat on. The mugs he drank from; the remote he touched; the blanket he used when it was cold; the fridge where he kept his drinks; the shower he stood naked in…

Overwhelmed, he didn’t know what to do first. What to touch first. Everything was beckoning him, every single furniture, the walls and the floor, they were tempting him. Showing off, smugly. They were all touched by Jensen, and now Jared could touch them too. If only he would reach out, he could…

“You okay there?” Dolos waved a hand in front of his face, before just casually lying down on the comfy-looking couch. “Damn, these pillows are nice.” He glanced at Jared with a sly look on his face. “Bet it smells like Jensen. Bet you’d come in your pants like a fucking freak if you buried your nose in them.”

Jared grit his teeth, glaring at his abusive hallucination with no little amount of anger, before walking over to the kitchen counter. He traced his fingers along the edge, touching everything—the drawers and cabinets, the plates and cutlery inside them, the microwave, the sink, the fridge. He shivered as he pulled out an unfinished bottle of what seemed to be some kind of shake, biting his lip, and ignored the scornful comments from Dolos as he licked the lip of the bottle. He couldn’t stop the moan that escaped him at that, the same feeling he got from licking the napkin making his knees weak. Excited, Jared put the shake back after taking a sip, then turned around and made his way into the carpeted living room area of the trailer.

“You know, you could totally go to jail for this. I mean, how much shit could they lock you away for? Stalking, breaking and entering… Being a total creep?” Dolos sneered, entertained. “Disturbance of peace. Harassment.” He trailed off with a cruel scoff. “From the looks of you, indecent exposure will be next.”

Jared felt hot all over his body. He wanted to smell Jensen’s clothes. He wanted to… He glanced at Dolos, narrowing his eyes. “I don’t give a shit about what you think—”

“Well, practically, it’s kinda what you think.”

“—and your constant insults are not going to work. Me and Jensen, we are meant for each other. He loves me!” Jared yelled, hands shaking as he hurriedly took off his shirt. “I know he loves me. I see the way he looks at me, talks to me. He wants me! And I want him. He just…” He let out a little laugh, kicking his pants off. “He just needs a little time. He’s just shy. Doesn’t know how to make the first move, but it’s fine. It’s fine.”

“Jared…”

“It’s fine,” he insisted with another laugh, Dolos looking almost…concerned, before his eyes widened as he caught Jared’s underwear.

“You’re actually getting naked?!”

“I want him.” Again, the desperation was back in his voice. Even he knew, when he got like this, it… But he couldn’t help it. Jared was so in love it hurt. He craved Jensen so much, so powerfully, that it physically hurt. He got sick, depressed even, from this painful love. He couldn’t pay attention. He was called apathetic by others, when he showed no interest in anything but Jensen. Jensen. Jensen. He felt numb when he wasn’t looking at Jensen, didn’t have anything to talk about when it wasn’t about Jensen, lost all pleasure in any and all activities that didn’t involve Jensen. Jensen was all he had left. Without him, Jared was nothing. Without him, life had no meaning. Without him, Jared would have already…

Dolos groaned. “You’re goddamn nuts.”

“And you’re infuriating,” Jared snapped, naked and angry, and threw his hands in the air. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Why won’t you get out of my head?!” he yelled, getting himself so worked up he began panting, enraged and nostrils flared, and ready to tackle Dolos to give him a very well-deserved beating. But he thought better of it, in the last second… He couldn’t waste his precious time here.

So, instead of going rabid on Dolos, Jared simply shot him one of his nastiest glares, before letting out a long sigh and collapsing onto the couch. He made a soft sound, the material of the couch feeling nice against his skin as he stretched, then turned onto his stomach and buried his nose into a pillow. “Mmmhh…” Jared moaned quietly, an icy chill running down his spine, and expanding into a ravishing blaze that pulsed through his body, resulting in yet another moan. He nuzzled the pillow, taking deep breaths of Jensen’s scent lingering on the cushion. Smell was one of the most powerful ways to elicit memories—and it was also the most intense way of jerking off.

Before he knew it, Jared was trapped. He blocked everything else out, as he gripped the pillow and rubbed his bare, hardening cock against the sofa, his mind foggy with heady lust. He heard nothing but his own labored breathing, and the sound of skin rubbing against fabric, which eventually drew a pained hiss from him and had him start using a hand instead. Raising his hips slightly, he pressed his face harder into the pillow, gasping for breath and stroking his throbbing cock faster, faster, until his arm hurt, until he could feel his orgasm building, so quick and overpowering, so urgent and—

“Jesus fuckin– What the hell are you doing?!”

Jared could feel the blood in his veins freeze to icy particles, his breath catching in his throat, and all his joints locking up for a second, as he stared ahead, wide eyed. No… No.

Tentatively turning around, and coming face to face with the reality of Jensen standing on the stairs of his trailer, mouth agape and expression unreadable, Jared was convinced he was going to faint from shock and mortification. Swiftly, he grabbed the pillow to cover his still hard, leaking cock, before shuffling back against the armrest, looking and feeling like a cornered animal about to get shot.

“I… I-I… Th-This isn’t…” Jared stammered, digging his heels into the sofa and trying to merge with it, hands shaking as he gripped the pillow tightly, time seemingly coming to a halt as they both stared at each other.

After what seemed like several, slowly dragged-out minutes, Jensen entered the trailer completely, before shutting the door behind him. And locking it.

“You’re the volunteer kid.” Jensen still seemed fazed, keeping his distance, but he was clearly trying to make an effort. “The weirdo… What. Just what the fuck, man?”

“Weirdo!” Dolos jeered, leaning against Jensen’s shoulder with an elbow. “Did you hear that? He called you a weirdo!” He laughed. “See, I told you that he thought you were a creep, too.”

“No, that’s not true!” Jared blurted, glaring, then quickly covered his mouth as he noticed the other looking over his shoulder. Shit. “No, s-sorry, I mean… I meant th-that I’m not a weirdo. I’m really not. I just…” He shuddered. “I needed… I couldn’t wait any longer, I’m sorry!” he exclaimed, tears welling up in his eyes as he got to his knees on the sofa, pleading gaze trained on the man. “I can’t wait anymore, Jensen. I know y-you need time, but I want to be together. I can’t keep playing these games anymore! I,” he gasped. “I love you!”

Jensen scowled, looking overjoyed. Disturbed. No, overjoyed. Disturbed.

“Disturbed,” Dolos whispered in his ear, suddenly appearing behind him.

“No!” Jared clamped his hands over his ears, breathing heavily, before getting to his feet and letting the pillow fall to the floor. “Don’t listen to him, Jen.” He smiled, slowly making his way toward Jensen, who was backing away, intimiRTH. Mirth. Mirthful.

“Uh…yeah. Just. Calm down, yeah?” Jensen raised his hands defensively. “Sit down, yeah? Let’s talk about this.”

“He thinks you’re a nutjooooob,” Dolos drawled in a sing-song voice, but when Jared turned towards him, eyes wide and furious, he was gone. He was toying with Jared, that bastard. He was trying to ruin this! But he wasn’t going to let him. No. Not this time.

“Jensen. Jenny. My…Jen,” he cooed with a smile, tears glistening in his eyes. “Sweetheart…” Jared pressed up against the other, who had no escape was backed into the fridge. He raised a hand to the weirded out happy man’s cheek, stroking the cute stubble as he pressed even closer, smile fond and wide. “I know how much you must have missed me. But it’s okay. Shh… It’s all gonna be okay now…” he whispered, nuzzling against his boo’s shoulder, and planting a small kiss against his neck. Mmm. Smelled so nice. He licked the skin… Tasted even better.

“W͋a̍̾̅̽́̎i̿̅̌̒̋̌tͨͮ,̇ͨ ͣ̿s͐t͂̇̈ǒ̄p͒̇̄ͥͪ̐— I missed you too,” Jensen said warmly, his enchanting voice echoing inside Jared’s head. So deep and wonderful. He grabbed Jared’s shoulders, so gentle, and pushed pulled him close as Jared wrapped his arms around his neck.

“Promise me we’ll be together forever…” he begged, kissing up and down Jensen’s neck as the man’s fingers dug into his shoulders.

“He̛y s̛t͠ǫp̶-̵ st͡o̡p̷ ki̶s͝sįn͠g̨ mȩ,҉ ̵o̴k̨a̛y?͝ ̕L͠et ̷go o͞f̵ mE̷— Yes. Forever…” Jensen purred, holding Jared closer, so strong, so tight it hurt… It hurt.

It really hurt.

“Ow!” Jared cried out as he was violently shoved onto the floor, knocking his head against the counter during his fall and seeing starts for a while. His vision was blurry, and his ears were… No, there must have been something wrong with his ears, because he could hear Jensen shouting. Why would he shout?

“You crazy fucking bitch,” Jensen spat, moving over to him and grabbing his hair, and yanked him up onto his knees. “I should be calling the police, no, some fucking insane asylum so they could lock you up forever, you disgusting fag.” He snarled. “Rubbing your dirty dick against me, kissing and licking me like some thirsty whore… If you are that thirsty, why don’t you put that mouth of yours to a better use, then?” Jensen let out a…a-a derisive, nasty chuckle.

Jared gaped, slowly lifting a hand to his head, his fingers coming away bloody. What…was going on? Why? Why was Jensen acting like this? This wasn’t supposed to be happening. This wasn’t his Jensen.

Gazing up at the other, Jared watched him unbutton his pants and pull out his cock. This was wrong. It was all so wrong, and yet… With that delicious, juicy meat in front of him, he couldn’t seem to care. In fact, the abuse kind of…turned him on?

“Oh?” Jensen purred, running his tongue along his teeth and burying a hand in all that soft hair on top of Jared’s head, as the boy moved a little closer and took a hold of the heavy, thick cock. The cock of his dreams. “You gonna be a good lil’ psycho bitch, after all?” He let out a deep, disdainful chuckle that sent a violent chill down Jared’s spine. “I bet you’ve been dreaming about this every night. Fucking stalker bitch. Yeah. Did you really think I didn’t notice you staring at me all the time?” Sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth, Jensen rolled his hips, a pleased sound escaping him when Jared’s grip on his cock tightened. “I was just, mmm. Being nice to you. You were creeping me out a little, but I tried not to show it, y’know. But, man…” He shook his head with a wide grin. “I would have never guessed you were such a desperate pervert.”

Gulping, Jared blinked up at the other. He was mean. He was violent. He was…sexy. And most importantly, he wanted Jared. Just as he thought. He was right. He was right.

He was right.

“I love you,” he blurted, almost trembling with anticipation, from hunger, before just leaning in and dragging his warm, wet tongue along the man’s cock, from his balls to the head. The taste was strong and incredible, and enough to get Jared addicted. Yes. This was so much better than tasting any of Jensen’s trash. Jared’s erection was painful, the pleasure of just that one taste enough to bring him to the brink of an orgasm.

“Freak,” Jensen scoffed, tugging on the other’s hair. “If you love me that much, why don’t you show me? Hmm? Show me just how much you love me.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. With the hunger of a starved man, Jared leaned in and took as much as he could, which was so much more than he expected. Guess all that practice with silicone dildos paid off. Whimpering in indescribable pleasure, Jared forced his mouth wider, slowly edging forward until his nose was pressing against the other’s stomach, thick and perfect cock resting in his mouth. Filling his mouth. Twitching, warm, smooth head pressing against the back of his throat.

God, he was in heaven. Closing his eyes, Jared did a wonderful job controlling his gag reflex, and began working on that big cock. He used one hand to play with, to fondle and massage Jensen’s balls, needing to make him feel good, make him feel intoxicated by Jared’s mouth, needing…Jensen to need him. To show him only he could worship his cock so well.

“Fuck,” the man groaned, grabbing the kitchen counter with a free hand as Jared begin bobbing his head, pretty much going from zero to a hundred. Impatient. Greedy. “You a real cocksucker, huh? Jesus, damn, the mouth on you…” He hummed in pleasure, spreading his legs a bit, before, without any warning, thrusting harshly into Jared’s mouth.

The boy gagged, eyes flying open and hands grabbing Jensen’s hips in shock.

“What? Can’t handle a little roughness?” Jensen grinned crookedly, holding Jared’s head in place, tightly, as he continued thrusting. Fucking the other’s mouth without any care for his well-being. Mercilessly, selfishly, chasing after his own pleasure and completely disregarding Jared’s discomfort, and obvious choking. But…even that. Jared loved it. “Suck harder. Or is this all you can do? Seriously?”

Eyes watering in panic and pain, Jared let out a muffled whine around the other’s cock, and then forced himself to suck harder. He needed to impress. He needed Jensen to feel good. He hollowed his cheeks, nails sinking into the man’s flesh and drawing a delicious hiss from him, which then resulted in the hand in his hair tightening and abusing his scalp. Head all hazy, Jared tuned everything aside from the delicious cock in his mouth out, focusing on it completely. He let his teeth graze against the sensitive skin, gently, from time to time; he wrapped his tongue around the cock, licking, pressing the tip into the wet slit as he pulled back with each suck; swallowed around the thick length, especially when the head was at the back of his throat, his muscles squeezing it so good Jared had to swallow extra so that he wouldn’t choke on the precome he has successfully squeezed out of the man.

“—ey! Hey!” Suddenly, Jensen was yanking him off his cock, Jared needing a moment to fill his lungs with air again, not even realizing he was close to passing out on the other’s dick. “Who the fuck told you that you could come first?”

Confused, Jared licked his sore, kind of numb lips, and really just wanted to get back to licking and sucking the enticing cock right in front of him, but a kick to his knee made him look down. “Ah…” He felt his cheeks heat up, somehow still finding it in himself to feel embarrassed as he noticed he had, at some point while he was energetically sucking Jensen off, come all over the floor. Not that it really made a difference for his own cock, as it was still hard. Or, hard again.

All of a sudden—or after a couple of minutes, Jared was barely aware of any time passing anymore—Jensen pulled on his hair, hard enough to get him up on his feet, which made Jared strangely uneasy. Like he didn’t deserve to be eye-level with the other. Like he belonged on his knees, for Jensen to use, forever…

“Um…” He pursed his lips bashfully, lowering his gaze to the floor, then saw a blur in front of his face before the hand that was in his hair was wrapped around his throat.

Jensen glared. “First you try to get off on my couch, then you dirty my trailer with your come? Not only that, you come before me?? Just who the fuck do you think you are?” he growled, slightly shaking the other and squeezing his throat, the pressure around his neck making Jared gasp and tingle all over.

“S…..S-Soor..rry,” he said hoarsely, clutching at the other’s wrist, mouth opening and closing as his face started to feel hotter, bigger, like it was swelling, like it was going to explode—

Jared coughed and gasped for air as he was dragged across the trailer and tossed onto the couch, the hand around his windpipe finally gone. Finally, but also disappointingly… “Now,” Jensen started, kicking his pants off as the boy turned around and watched in awe, “you’re gonna make up for being an impatient little whore. Won’t you?”

Jared just nodded, too turned on to produce words right now, because Jensen was taking his shirt off, and oh, dear god, those muscles. He could die happy now. Really. He could.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Jensen gave his cock a few strokes, as he nodded at the other. “Turn around and stick your ass up in the air. Oh, and finger yourself open. Crazy sextoys like you should always be ready for a cock, right? So come on, hurry.” He sneered. “Before I lose interest.”

“N-No, I!” Jared almost pulled a muscle as he got into position, one hand spreading his cheeks open as he wet the fingers of the other hand, before, swiftly, shoving two into his hole. “I’ll do it! I’ll get ready for you, I swear, I’ll be so fast,” he whined, gritting his teeth in pain as he fingered himself forcefully, already adding a third finger after only a few thrusts. He couldn’t afford to waste any more time, no, no. He had to get his hole to loosen up for Jensen. And Jensen was big. So he had to do this quick. Quick and dirty, and painful.

Barely two minutes passed before Jared withdrew four fingers from his ass, panting and grunting, and looked back over his shoulder. “I’m ready. Please, please fuck me now. Do whatever you want to me, I-I can take it. I will take it, just do me, just pleaseplease fuck me, please love me!”

“Shut up!” Jensen snapped, his hand coming down strong against the other’s ass, slapping it so hard it had Jared crying out in shock and pain. And, of course…ecstasy.

“Hey, finally the tables have turned. See, it’s not nice when people tell you to shut up.”

“Go... Go away,” Jared hissed, blinking with a new kind of rage at Dolos, who made a reappearance and was now leaning against the fireplace, before letting out a strangled moan as Jensen pushed him down with a hand pressed against the small of his back.

“I thought you said you wanted me inside you,” he purred, and Dolos laughed. “Or what, suddenly changed your mind? Don’t think you can take this cock after all?”

“No, I can! I can, I just…” Jared glared at the hallucination, who just shrugged his shoulders.

“Hey, it ain’t my fault,” Dolos said defensively. “I guess you’re just so fucked up in the head, you can’t even let yourself get some without an audience.”

“I don’t want you here!” Jared spat. “Just for once, leave me alone!!”

“Hey!” Apparently losing his patience, Jensen smashed the other’s head into the couch, getting even more violent as he just…spread Jared open and forced his cock into him. “I’m letting you be my fuckhole here, and you can’t even stay sane long enough for me to get my dick in you?” he hissed, holding Jared down roughly with one hand on the back of his neck, pinning him to the couch, and another on his hip. “Listen here. I don’t care how much you scream or cry anymore,” Jensen growled lowly, darkly, as he leaned in close to the other’s ear. “You can change your mind as many times as you want, but I’m still gonna fuck your ass raw.”

Jared whimpered, shuddering and raising his ass wantonly. “No, no, I…” He took a deep breath, or at least as deep as the couch cushion let him, and sniffled. “I see…things. I hallucinate. B-But I’m not crazy, I just. See this one person. That’s it, I swear, and he’s annoying me so I got angry,” he panted, whining. “But I love you, I love you! I want you so bad, please, I don’t care that he’s watching anymore, I can’t take it anymore, just please! Please fu– Ah!” he suddenly cried out, as Jensen pulled back, and then quickly pushed into him, with a force that sent him forward and almost made him headbutt the armrest. “O-Oh god…”

“That ain’t God. It’s all me. You worship me, got it?” Jensen snarled, sounding truly threatening as he slammed his cock hard and deep into Jared; then began to really fuck him, ramming into him brutally and using his ass like some worthless toy. “Ah, I knew you were insane. Did you escape from, mmm, some nut house, hm? Maybe saw my show on the TV and decided you wanted to ride my cock, like the crazy whore you are?” Jensen groan-growled, emphasizing the words with harsh thrust, so deep Jared thought he could feel the man’s amazing cock all the way up his belly.

He was dying. It was so, so good it simply couldn’t have been true. So good that Jared thought his body was slowly shutting down from the pleasure. That had to be it, or why else would he have felt like flowers were blooming in his chest, taking up all the space and spreading their burning vines all across his body? The burn was even stronger in his crotch and ass, those areas flaring up like a lighthouse, those fiery vines wrapping around his cock and growing thorns, bruising him from the inside out as Jensen fucked his tight ass sore. Painful. It was painful. He wasn’t stretched properly, not even with that hasty preparation from before, and it really hurt, thick cock dragging against his drying skin… But god. Oh, god. Everything was perfect, so, so perfect. The pain that made him cry also turned him on beyond words. The rough hands on him made him feel so vulnerable and used, so aroused, he was dripping precome onto the couch, so close to coming again. And the dirty talking, the demeaning comments, the way Jensen’s cock kept slamming into him, right against his prostate—they made him lose it. They made him come, again, with a loud scream as he shut his eyes and, this time, let the powerful orgasm wash over him like a tidal wave.

However, his orgasm only seemed to make one of them happy.

Still in a post-orgasmic daze, Jared’s cry was scratchy and strangled when Jensen grabbed his hair and yanked his head back, hard. “Are you. Fucking. Deaf?” he growled, sounding real pissed off and dark. Dangerous. Which had Jared shivering and letting out a high-pitched whimper, nails digging into the couch and lips parted from how painfully far back the man was pulling his head.

“I’m sor…sorry,” he breathed in a strained voice, trying to arch his back so as to lessen the tautness in his neck. “It just, nnnh, it felt so good. Ah please, please don’t stop, I’m so s-sorry I came, I’ll do anything you want, so please!”

“What I want is for you to shut up,” Jensen snapped, before pressing the other back onto the couch, “and to clean my couch with your tongue. To lick up all that filthy fucking come. After I’m done filling you with mine.”

After that, Jensen shifted gears, into overdrive. If Jared thought the fucking before was amazing, then this…this destroyed him. He had to bite down on his arm, leaving deep and aching teeth marks as his ass was plowed by the aggressive man, Jensen himself surely leaving some bruises on the boy’s body in the process. He heard the other groaning in pleasure, their voices mixing into a toxic-sweet symphony full of mewls and moans, of sounds of pure, carnal need and ecstasy. He was drowning in pleasure, in the heady air filled with sex and sweat, in the man’s rough, greedy, erratic thrusts as he chased his orgasm, which Jared was more than ready to give him. Oh, yes. He milked the man, squeezing around him the best he could, trying to give him a warm and tight hole, the best hole to fuck, with whatever was left of his strength.

It didn’t take too long for Jensen to come as well. He got rougher, if that was even possible, snarling like an animal, groaning out curses and digging his fingers into the other’s flesh—until he was coming, thrusting balls deep into Jared and filling him to the brim with warmth that slowly leaked out of him once the man pulled out.

Whining, and not wanting to lose even one drop of Jensen’s precious come, he quickly wiped at the fluid sliding down his thighs and lapped it up from his fingers with a moan. Jensen’s come. Ah, this… He wanted to taste this every day.

“Hey, freak.” Jensen’s voice was raspy and fucking hot, as he licked his lips and sat on the other end of the couch, leaning back against the armrest and nodding at the come drying on the couch. “I told you to clean the stain. If it stays soaked into the fabric, I’m gonna beat your ass.”

Jared gulped, imagining Jensen spanking him, and bit his bottom lip before turning around and lowering his face to the couch cushion. “Like this…?” he asked, looking up at the other and poking his tongue out, before dragging it along the fabric. It tasted terrible, and tiny pieces of the material stuck to his tongue. It was nothing like swallowing Jensen’s delicious come, but…he was watching Jared. With those intense, penetrating eyes. So he batted his eyelashes, and licked up as much dried come as he could, cleaning the cushion like a good boy, and sputtering slightly once he was done.

“Good. Now get the fuck out of my trailer,” he said, waving a hand.

Startled, Jared gaped at the other, before crawling over to him and wrapping his arms around his neck, naked bodies pressing together. “…No. I can’t, I… You can’t send me away. I love you. I love you! And we just had sex, d-doesn’t that mean something?!”

Jensen rolled his eyes, trying to push at the other. “Yeah I fucked you. But no, it doesn’t mean shit. I mean, come on,” he snorted. “You’re a crazy bitch. And I’m an actor. I can’t be seen around a lunatic, let alone a gay lunatic. That ain’t my image, kid. So get—”

“No!” Jared shouted, tightening his grip on the other as he began to panic. No. This couldn’t be happening. He was finally with Jensen, his Jensen… This wasn’t happening. “No! I’m not leaving. We are meant to be together! We were made for each other; you can’t send me away! You, you…” He panted, whimpering, before swiftly leaning in and kissing the other.

He moaned as he got bitten, but kept kissing Jensen until his hair was brutally yanked on. “Calm the fuck down, kid! And keep that come-dirty mouth of yours away from mine,” he hissed, narrowing his eyes, then letting go of Jared when he noticed him crying. “Oh for fuck’s sake.” He sighed. “Just how obsessed are you with me?”

“I’m not…”

“Don’t lie to me,” Jensen ordered.

Lowering his gaze, Jared hesitated for a long moment, before raising his gaze again, cheeks painted a rosy pink. “I love you. Loved you for so long. I…have tons of posters of you, watched every video and read every article you were in. I have them all saved, and cut out. I bought all your merchandise. I listen to your voice every day. I stole…s-some of your trash. But! But I knew you won’t mind. Because you love me the way I am, and—”

Jensen frowned. “You really believe I love you? How the hell could I have even loved you when I’ve only just met you recently?”

“Signs!” Jared’s eyes lit up, as he cupped the other’s cheeks dearly. “I saw all the signs you gave me. I understood them right away. You knew about me. You knew I was watching. You…took my breath away. From then on, I couldn’t stop imagining us together. And I’ve been waiting, for so long, falling harder and harder in love with you.” He was starting to breathe faster, excited, as he snuggled up close to Jensen. “I knew it. I knew we were the perfect match. I could see it in your eyes, the way you looked at me through the camera. The little messages you sent, only for me. Knowing only I could understand. So… So I knew. I could tell. I know you love me… Right? Tell me. Tell me you love me.”

Jensen stared at him strangely, then opened his mouth, as if wanting to say something; but then decided against it, sighing instead and shaking his head. “I must be crazy as well,” he muttered, before glaring at Jared and suddenly, to his surprise, pulling him into a quick kiss. “Listen here. I don’t love you. Okay? But…you don’t seem like a complete psychopath. You’re just creepily obsessed with me. And have weird-ass hallucinations. And, unfortunately, you’re a fucking amazing lay. So…” He chewed on his lip in thought, as Jared held his breath, trying not to have a breakdown from Jensen telling him he didn’t love him, because it seemed like this wasn’t the end yet. “So. If, and only if. A big if. If you agree to get yourself some meds, and get treatment…and you still feel like you’re all infatuated with me… then yeah.” He looked deep into Jared’s eyes, as if showing him he really meant this. “Then I’ll consider going out with you.”

“But… But I’m not crazy. I’m…”

Jensen scowled. “If you can’t even admit that you’ve got a problem, then we’ve got a problem.”

“But!” Jared insisted, however this wasn’t working. He did know about the hallucinations. He knew Dolos, who was currently juggling some orange pill bottles and grinning at him intimidatingly, wasn’t real. But…his love for Jensen? That was real. That had to be real! “I love you. I know I do. I don’t need to cure my l-love for you,” he said with a small sniffle, quickly blinking away tears.

“You won’t know until you try. And I won’t love you until you do,” the man said, presenting him with an ultimatum. And Jared hated it. He wanted to scream, because this wasn’t right. He wasn’t sick. But if… If this was what he needed to do in order to have Jensen all to himself, then…

Reluctantly, Jared pulled back, and nodded. “I will…talk to someone.”

“A psychiatrist.”

Jared frowned, making an annoyed sound. “Yeah, that. I will ask for pills to get rid of Dolos– Uh, I mean the hallucination.” He scratched his head when Jensen gave him an odd look. “His name. My hallucination’s name is Dolos. I named him…”

“Okay,” Jensen said, clearly disturbed, before crossing his arms. “So, anyway. Do we have an agreement?”

“I get treatment, and then we’ll be together.”

“No,” Jensen said, “you’ll get treatment, and if you still love me, then maybe we get together. That’s the agreement.”

Jared hesitated, then narrowed his eyes, looking even more annoyed. But also determined. “Good. Because no matter what happens, my feelings of love will not disappear. I am certain of that.”

“…Good.” Jensen leaned back, and then glanced at the clothes on the floor. “Then get out. And only come back once you’re better.”

Jared didn’t move. “Before I go… Can I, um. Can I have your…phone number? Personal number. S-So I can tell you how the treatment is going, and…”

“So you can bug me with text messages and calls?” He raised his eyebrows. “Is that gonna be your new way of stalking me?”

“No!” Jared blurted immediately, cheeks flushing. “I won’t be…stalking you. I just. I want to be able to talk to you. A bit. If I really have to go to therapy, then I want to talk to someone. I want to talk to you. I will miss you…”

The man stared at him for a while, then let out a scoff. He fished out his phone from his pants’ pocket on the floor, and tossed it to Jared. “I was going to give you my number anyway, you know. I wanna stay updated on your status. Gotta know when you’re sane enough to fuck, and all,” he said with a crooked, rather shameless grin.

He caught the phone, and hugged it to his chest. Equally shamelessly. And rather happily. “Thank you…”

“Yeah yeah. Just hurry up and get out of my trailer. If we both stay in here for too long, it’ll get suspicious.

Jared really didn’t want to go, but after a couple of minutes, as he put on some clothes and exchanged phone numbers with the man, he sort of limped towards the door. Ow. His ass really hurt, wow. “I’ll…call you?” he said hopefully, to what Jensen performed one very dramatic eye-roll, waving him out of the trailer.

“Go. And no calls,” he stated, before reluctantly adding, “only texts. You get the call privilege when I think you’re ready.” He narrowed his eyes. “Now seriously get the hell out, before I kick you out myself.”

Grinning from ear to ear, Jared gave the other a small wave, and then complied, hurrying out of the trailer and away from the set.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m quitting, obviously,” he said with a dreamy sigh, then shot Dolos an irritated look. “I don’t need to work here anymore. And soon, won’t need to see you following me around either.”

Dolos looked incredulous. “Seriously? You’re actually considering going to a shrink?” His expression turned dark. Sinister. “They’ll lock you up. Fill you with drugs, until you won’t be able to think at all. You’ll forget about Jensen. You will never be able to see him ever again. And slowly, he’ll forget about you too. You’re just some nutjob, after all. He won’t give a—”

“No,” Jared gritted out, stopping in his tracks and turning to Dolos. “I don’t care about what you have to say anymore. Because soon enough, you won’t even be here.” He stepped closer, jabbing a finger against the other’s chest. “See, I know you’re trying to freak me out. Because, I bet, you’re the one freaking out. You’re scared that once I start taking the meds, you’ll disappear.”

“Yeah?” Dolos smirked. “Me being scared would mean I’m real. That I have real feelings, and that I am scared to die.” He cocked his head. “So does that mean you’re acknowledging me?”

Jared was taken aback for a moment, fuck, before stepping back. “I am not acknowledging shit. But the hallucinations…are a part of me. They are real. In a way. I know that much,” he mumbled, really starting to get angry now. He didn’t want this crap to ruin his great mood. He was going to become Jensen’s boyfriend, after all! That was amazing! “You are a part of me. So it’s also possible that that part of me doesn’t wanna die.” He shrugged. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t mean that I think of you as a real person.”

Dolos leaned in. “Then why are you even talking to me?”

That was…a good point. “I’m not. I am done talking to you,” he stated, before turning on his heel and walking back to his car, all the while ignoring Dolos’ whining. From now on, he couldn’t interact with his hallucination. He had to change. And it was scary, that much was very true. He was scared, and dreadful, and he still, deep down, thought there was nothing wrong with him. He knew Jensen loved him, and that he loved Jensen… And he would show him. He will prove it to him.

And then they can finally be together, forever. The way they were meant to be.