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Angels and Demons

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A world existed above the Earth that was unlike any other. A peaceful place where people could rest after a long, stressful life. It was Paradise; a kingdom above the clouds where angels resided. From here, the angels could watch over the Earth, and their loved ones who were left behind.

Tweek often stared down at the Earth, twitching and spazzing, not because he was watching over anyone, but because he was always paranoid that Paradise would be attacked. Even though all the other angels assured him that was impossible. But then again, even in life Tweek had been a very nervous person.

Every angel had different colors in their robes, wings, and halos. They weren’t all gold and white. Tweek’s was a greenish olive color that he had never been very fond of. His wings looked like they belonged to an old bird, as Tweek’s wings were constantly shedding feathers merely out of stress. His halo did very little to tame his mane of wild blond hair.

Leaning out over the edge of the cloud he was resting on, Tweek could see all the little people on Earth walking around, living their lives. He felt a shudder run through him. He thought when he got to Paradise things were supposed to be better. But why did it feel like things were the same as when he was alive?

He was so focused on the people below, Tweek didn’t even notice the other angel fly up behind him and land on his cloud. That is, until he spoke.

“Whatchya doing, Tweek?” the angel asked in an obnoxiously loud voice.

“GAH!” Tweek exclaimed in fear and leaped up, several feathers falling from his wings. Tweek fell back into the fluffiness of the cloud, and clutched his chest, trying to get his breath back. “Kenny! You know I hate it when you do that!” he scolded.

Kenny had an orange glow around him, and his wings were large and magnificent. Unlike Tweek’s. Kenny grinned down at him.

“Sorry, Tweek. Didn’t mean to scare you,” he said. He would have been more convincing if he wasn’t trying to hold back a laugh. Tweek huffed.

“Yeah, I totally believe you,” he muttered. Kenny grinned at him.

“Anyway, what were you doing?” he wondered.

“What I’m always doing that people should take more seriously,” Tweek scolded, “Keeping watch to make sure we don’t get attacked by demons!”

Kenny stared at him, then burst out laughing. “Tweek, you’re so paranoid!” he laughed, “You know demons can’t get up here! Sure, they can fly, but they can’t fly up this high! We’re totally safe! Besides, we’re the ones that have power over the demons!”

Tweek cringed and twitched violently. “B-But they’re demons!” he argued, “They’re tricky and can’t be trusted! Who knows what they’re planning!”

“They’re not planning anything, Tweek,” Kenny told him, rolling his eyes, “You need to get those thoughts out of your head!”

“Kenny! Stop picking on Tweek!” A new voice called. They both looked up and saw the archangel Stan flying towards them.

Stan was the second in command of the angels, who made sure Paradise was safe and everyone was happy. His robes were brown, but his wings and halo were blue, and he had a red glow. He could be tough sometimes, but he had a fun-loving mischievous side as well.

He flew down and landed in front of the two of them. “Kenny, you know better than to stir up trouble,” he scolded, “I could hear your voice all the way from the garden.”

“So sorry, Stan,” Kenny replied, “I was just telling Tweek that there’s no way the demons can ever get up here.”

“You don’t have to be so rude about it, though,” Tweek muttered. Kenny shrugged, then took off, flying off for a place above them. Stan sighed before turning to Tweek, who still looked upset.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I guess,” Tweek mumbled his reply, “NNG! I just wish someone would take me seriously for once!”

“Tweek, I know you think the demons are planning something, but trust me, they’re not,” Stan assured him, “They’re not clever enough to attack us. They don’t have any way to reach us. And we’re powerful enough that when we go down to Earth we can keep them away from us. Ok? Does that make you feel any better?”

Opening his mouth, Tweek was about to say no, but then he decided against it. “Yeah,” he said, “Thanks, Stan. I feel much better.” He hoped Stan couldn’t hear the bitterness in his voice. It seemed to work as Stan smiled.

“Good,” he said, “Well, if you excuse me, I have important business to attend to on Earth. Don’t wait up.” With that, Stan leaped up and plunged through the clouds towards the ground. He often went down to Earth, but he never told anyone why, not even his girlfriend, Wendy.

Tweek watched him go before sighing and back down on the cloud. Recently he had been seeing increased demon activity down on Earth, and it really scared him. He knew they were up to something. He just didn’t know what.

“GAH! What are they planning?” he hissed, pulling at his hair. He looked down at the ground again. He could see an imp demon following a boy around and causing him all sorts of bad luck. Humans couldn’t see demons and angels, and demons liked to take advantage of this by tormenting humans with pranks and other things like that. While angels liked to use their invisibleness to perform “miracles,” demons were the exact opposite.

Sighing, Tweek wished he could go down there and stop that demon from messing with the human. After all, angels naturally had power over demons. But Tweek had always been weak and scared, even of demons.

Before Tweek could watch anymore, someone suddenly fell from above and landed on him with a loud “oof!” Thankfully, whoever landed on him was not very heavy, as to not break through the cloud. Tweek quickly rolled over, shoving whoever it was off.

“ARGH! Butters! What are you doing?” Tweek exclaimed, pulling at his hair, “You scared the shit out of me!”

“Well, gee sorry, Tweek!” Butters said, “I accidentally fell off my cloud.”

And people think I’m clumsy, Tweek thought to himself. He sighed. “How do you fall off a cloud? Did you forget you could fly?” he asked.

“I guess I, uh, fell asleep,” Butters admitted, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment, “And I sorta rolled over and fell off.”

Butters was still a young angel, in that he had only entered Paradise recently. His colors were blue and yellow, and his wings were still rather small compared to someone like Stan. Because he was still new to all of this, sometimes he forgot he could fly. Often times he was more scatterbrained than Tweek was.

“Are you all right Tweek?” Butters asked, rubbing his knuckles together. Tweek sighed.

“I’m fine,” he replied, “You just startled me.”

“Well, that’s a relief!” Butters brightened, “What were you staring at?”

“GAH! What do you mean?” Tweek shouted.

“Well, you were lyin’ on your stomach when I fell on you,” Butters pointed out, “I just thought you were staring at something. Weren’t you?”

Tweek felt his eye twitch. “ERG! No!” he lied, “I wasn’t staring at anything.” He didn’t want Butters to think he was crazy as well. Butters flashed him a bright smile.

“Okey dokey then!” he exclaimed happily, “Well, I’ll see ya later, Tweek! Don’t forget we have class today!” Then he jumped up and clumsily flew off, flapping his wings furiously to stay airborne.

Tweek groaned. He hated class. Why did angels have to have a class, like they were in school or something? It’s not like Mr. Mackey, their teacher, really taught them anything important. He didn’t have anything against Mr. Mackey, he was nice enough, but the class was just so pointless! Did they really have to learn every little thing about the history of angels and demons? There didn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it.

Annoyed, Tweek decided he didn’t really want to deal with class today. There were always too many people, and some of them really liked to make fun of him and his paranoia. Getting to his feet, Tweek spread his wings and flew down to Earth.

There was a beach that Tweek often went to when he wanted to be alone. There was a large rock formation that made a sort of hut-like shelter that he liked to hide under. That way no one could see him when they looked down from Paradise.

Flying down to the rock, which overlooked the ocean, Tweek quickly made sure there was no one around before slipping underneath. Sighing, he sat down and stared out at the ocean for a moment before laying down. He curled up, and before he knew it, he had drifted off.

When he woke up, it was dark out. Surprised, Tweek sat up and blinked. “How long was I out?” he wondered out loud.

There was the sound of something dragging in the sand, startling Tweek. He held his breath as he came to a terrifying realization.

He was not alone.

Chapter Text

Hell sucked. Completely and totally sucked. I mean, it was hell, what would you expect? It was dark, despite the fire everywhere, and smelly, and kind of empty. The demons that lived there were rather obnoxious for the most part. There were some of the obvious ones, like Cartman, who acted like he was the boss despite the fact that he barely ever did anything. And, unlike the angels, a lot of the demons had characteristics of other animals, some of them looking more like monsters than humans. Cartman, for example, was a fat, blob of a goat man.

The only thing that kept Craig from going insane from living there was going up to the surface and pulling pranks on poor, unsuspecting suckers. He and Clyde (who definitely looked more like a crazy monster) would often go up to the surface and invisibly harass humans until angels came by to tell them to “stop that!” And how did they get to the surface? Through a hole. Yup, there was just this big ol’ hole at the top of hell that led to anywhere in the world. (There had been plans to move the hole behind ultra conservatives and super liberals and pushing them in, but both groups were so horrendously annoying that even hell didn’t want them).

Mr. Garrison kept ranting about the good old times when the angels weren’t constantly breathing down their backs and forcing them to “play nice.” Once a week, he would force all of the demons to have a meeting just so he could rant about the angels under the guise of coming up with a plan to overthrow them. They were long and boring, and Craig and Clyde often just left in the middle them.

He had just called another one that day (it was the second “meeting” that week), and Craig felt like he was going to explode if he had to sit there and listen to another one of Mr. Garrison’s lectures. He always sat in the back of the room just so it was easier to sneak out. Not that it mattered. Once Mr. Garrison went off on a tangent, he barely paid attention to anything else. So, it wasn’t that hard for Craig to get away.

He made his way out of the room and down the hall to the main area. Everything was quiet here, since everyone else was trapped by Mr. Garrison. Craig couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief. Peace and quiet for about two hours.

Just as he was thinking of going up to the surface world, a flash of movement caught Craig’s eye. He turned and was surprised to see Cartman flapping his stubby wings and making his own way towards the surface hole. He looked a bit guilty and he was looking around as if he was trying not to get caught sneaking out.

“Cartman?” Craig called to him, halting him in his tracks. “Where are you going?”

Cartman looked over at him, startled. His eyes widened as he tried to think. “Um, I was going to the surface world,” he replied at last. Craig cocked his head.

“Why?” he asked.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m…doing some recon,” the fat demon growled. “Yeah, that’s it! I’m trying to find out what those sneaky angels are up to and how to bring them down.”

Craig cocked an eyebrow at him, disbelievingly. Cartman never wanted to do work. He was much more content to just laze around and order others to do his work for him. But this wasn’t the first time Craig had seen him sneak off to the surface. And he was always dodgy with his questioning too. Craig would have followed him and tried to find out what he was really up to if he cared. Which he didn’t.

So instead, he just muttered a quick “whatever” and watched Cartman slowly fly up to the hole and get stuck. Again. Craig let out a sigh but didn’t make a move to help him and instead just stood there and watched him attempt to push himself free.

“Why haven’t we made that hole wider yet?” Craig muttered under his breath, turning away from the scene. Then he heard a popping sound and turned just in time to see three, newly dead teens pop into hell. Already, they all had black wings, horns and tails, and they were looking around in amazement. Oh great, more people to complain that they shouldn’t be in hell.

“Yes!” said the girl in the middle, pumping her fist. “We made it to hell!”

“Fuck yeah!” cried the youngest one.

Scratch that. These three were goths. They were still wearing heavy black make up and black clothes; Craig wondered why he hadn’t immediately noticed.

“Wait a minute,” said the third guy, looking around. “Where’s Michael? Didn’t he die as well?” The three of them looked around in confusion, as if expecting a fourth person to just magically appear next to them. Craig couldn’t help but to give the smallest hint of a smirk. He was going to like these guys.

“Welcome to hell,” he said, going over to them. “The hole to the surface is above you, the Pit of Despair is to your right, and the meeting hall is down the hall right behind me. We’re fighting angels.”

“Nice,” the three of them said at the same time.

“Dibs on going through the Pit of Despair first,” the youngest goth said, making his two friends glare at him in response.

Craig turned and was about to leave, but he noticed that demons were starting to leave the meeting hall and were trickling out. Huh. Mr. Garrison must have finished his ramblings early for once. All he knew that it was going to start getting crowded.

He noticed Bebe making her way towards them and he let out a sigh of annoyance. He barely got along with anyone (so much so that the air around him turned cold), but he especially hated Bebe. She was a big ol’ slut, trying to sleep with anything that moved. He could barely stand being in the same room as her. She looked over at him, then spotted the goths and gave what she thought was a seductive grin.

“Hey there, newbies!” she greeted them before casually pulling up her top and exposing her large breasts. The two goth boys stared wide eyed at her for a long moment, until the female noticed them staring and angrily slapped the older boy upside the head.

Craig rolled his eyes, then spread his dark blue wings and soared up to the hole. Already, it had become too crowded. He knew where to go at times like this. There was a beach that he liked to go to. It was nice and secluded, and none of the other demons knew about it. It was perfect when Craig wanted to get away from it all and think.

There was only one problem, and he didn’t see it until he got there. There was already someone lying there, having fallen asleep. Curious, he started shuffling towards the figure, who was starting to rouse from their slumber. Then he realized something. That wasn’t a human sitting there. It was an angel. Literally.

Chapter Text

Tweek’s eyes widened with horror as the demon approached him. He scrambled backwards in fear and cowered against the back of the rock. “S-Stay away from me!” he warned nervously, “D-Don’t come anywhere near me!”

Immediately Craig could tell that this angel was not like the others. Usually angels weren’t afraid of demons. But this one was clearly terrified of him, even though he hadn’t done anything yet. And it wasn’t like he planned to do anything. He just wanted a place to hide out for a few hours. Was that so wrong?

“Look-“ he started, taking a step forward, but that was all he was able to get out.

“NOOOO!” Tweek screeched and bolted past the demon with lightning speed. Spreading his ruffled wings, Tweek fled out over the ocean. And it was at that moment when he remembered he didn’t know how to swim.

It wasn’t as if angels could drown. But Tweek had never learned how to swim when he was alive, and he had no need to now. But if he fell in, then his robes and wings would probably drag him down and make him sink to the bottom.

Good thing that demon wasn’t chasing after him, and there was nothing to knock him into that evil ocea-

Tweek’s thoughts were interrupted when a huge wave suddenly rose up in front of him and he stopped, staring in horror. He thought he heard someone call out to him, but he couldn’t really think of anything as the wave crashed over him.

Immediately, Tweek started sinking down, water pulling at his clothes and wings. He desperately tried flapping them, to try to surface, but all they did was tire him out. Nothing he did seemed to be helping. This was it. He was going to be forgotten at the bottom of the ocean. Forever.

Just as he gave up hope, Tweek suddenly felt an arm loop around his waist. He gasped as someone started pulling him towards the surface. He felt like he was close to passing out as they suddenly broke the surface. Whoever it was carried him back to shore, and towards a shabby wooden shack. Tweek blinked slowly as the door of the shack opened.

The shack was very small and only consisted of a small bed, a worn-down couch, and an old wood burning stove. Tweek was carried over to the bed and laid down. He blinked several times, trying to get the sea water out of his eyes. He could see his savior sit down across from him on the couch. When his vision returned, Tweek’s heart started pounding.

It was the demon. He was sitting on the couch, dark blue wings folded behind him, while his pointed devil tail slowly swayed back and forth. He stared intensely at Tweek, as if expecting him to do something. Shivering, Tweek shrank back on the bed.

“W-What do you want from me?” he whispered.

There was a moment of silence. “Are you okay?” the demon asked calmly, “You’re not injured, are you?”

“GNN! Why do you care?” Tweek hissed, trying not to sound so scared, “You’re a d-demon! You’re cold and heartless and evil!”

Craig smirked. “Is that what you think?” he wondered.

“It’s what I’ve been taught,” Tweek muttered.

Leaning back, Craig folded his arms behind his head and grinned at the angel. “I’m Craig, by the way,” he said in a rather smug sounding voice, “You’re welcome for saving your ass from the ocean.”

Tweek blinked at him. Why was this demon telling him his name? Why did he save him? He had no idea what to say. He could only stare in surprise as Craig suddenly stood up and walked towards him.

“GAH! Don’t come near me!” he exclaimed, curling up in fear.

“Relax, dude, I was just going to take your robes off for you,” Craig told him. What an odd little angel. So paranoid.

“WHY?” Tweek shouted. Oh God, he was going to be raped by a demon!

“So you won’t freeze to death,” Craig sighed, “I mean, I know you’re an angel so can’t really die, but you can’t be comfortable in those soaking robes.”

“I’m not going to get naked for you!” Tweek hissed, “You’ll probably do horrible unmentionable things to me!”

Craig wanted to be irritated, but he found something rather charming in the way this angel kept going back and forth between fear and bravery. “Then wrap yourself in the blanket,” he suggested, “I won’t even look, if you don’t want me to.”

Tweek felt himself blushing all of a sudden. What was this demon’s deal? Tweek had encountered very few demons, but he knew that Craig was quite different from all the others. After all, no demon in their right mind would help an angel.

Clearing his throat, Tweek tried to put on a brave face. “T-Turn around,” he ordered. Laughing softly, Craig turned around, so he was facing away from the angel. As soon as his back was turned, Tweek started disrobing. In an instant he was completely naked. He shivered against the sudden chill and quickly wrapped himself in the blanket.

When he turned his attention back to Craig, his cheeks started heating up when he saw the demon stripped down to his boxers and crouching in front of the stove. When Craig turned back around, Tweek saw that the stove was lit.

“Enjoying the show?” Craig asked with a smirk.

“GAH! Why did you take your clothes off?!” Tweek exclaimed, tightening the blanket.

“I’m not going to sit here in soaking wet clothes,” Craig remarked, “What, did you think demons like to be wet or something? We don’t.”

Blushing, Tweek hid his face in the blanket. What was the deal with this demon? He squeaked with surprise when he suddenly felt the bed sink a little with extra weight. Peeking, he saw that Craig had come over to sit next to him on the bed.

“Scooch,” he ordered. Shivering slightly, Tweek moved over so Craig could pull himself further onto the bed and lay down. Tweek could only stare at him in surprise and nervousness.

“Um, what are you doing?” he asked the demon.

“Sleepy,” Craig murmured, “I don’t feel like going back to Hell right now. Just gonna stay here until my clothes are dry.”

Tweek tightened his grip around the blanket as he stared down at Craig. There was a long pause as Tweek tried to think of what to do now. Should he try to leave? Maybe he should try to smother Craig and run away? Or maybe-

“Hey angel,” Craig suddenly said, breaking Tweek from his thoughts, “I don’t bite. Despite what you may have heard, I’m not going to hurt you. You can lay down if you want.”

With a tiny squeak of fear, Tweek laid down next to Craig, pressing his back to the demon’s. He briefly wondered if every demon was as warm as Craig was as he closed his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Stan flew back into Paradise, landing on a large cloud gracefully just in time to see a new angel pop into existence. His hair was curly and black, and he wore black make up and was holding a cane. Stan was almost certain that in life he was a goth. His robes and wings were a deep midnight black. One glance around, and he looked absolutely irritated.

“Damn it!” he hissed, “How the Hell did I end up here?! I’m supposed to be in the other place! I’m the one that set the bomb off!”

Confused, Stan flew over to him. “Er, are you okay?” he asked.

“No, I’m not ok!” the new goth angel growled, “Do I look like I’m ok? Where are my friends? They should be dead too!”

“Well, if they’re not here, then they’re down there,” Stan replied calmly, referring to Hell. The new angel growled in frustration.

“Of course,” he muttered, “Figures Pete, Henrietta, and Firkle get to live it up in Hell while I have to suffer up here!” Grumbling, he sat down and folded his arms. Stan could only stare at him in shock.

“Um, you do know that this is Paradise, right?” he asked, “You know, as in the place everyone wants to someday make it to?”

“Whatever,” the angel huffed. Stan sighed.

“Can I at least get your name, so I can get you properly situated?” he requested.

“Michael,” the goth answered curtly.

“All right, then. Welcome to Paradise, Michael,” Stan said. He flew off, but not before hearing Michael grumble something that sounded a lot like “fuck you.”

Sighing, Stan flew over Paradise, heading towards the Grand Hall, that rested in the heart of Paradise. As second in command, it was Stan’s responsibility to make sure all new angels were properly registered. That way they could keep track of all the angels in this part of Paradise. If anything ever went wrong they would need to know who all the angels were. Plus, every angel got their own cloud with a tiny little hut to do with what they wished.

Many angels were roaming about in the Grand Hall when Stan reached it. It was the central hangout for most angels. Stan could see Jimmy flirting with Heidi, and Annie was strutting around in high heels carrying a large stack of papers. Then he spotted his girlfriend, Wendy. His heart fluttered in his chest.

Wendy was a beautiful angel with lavender robes and pink wings and halo. She flew over to Stan and instantly had her arms around his neck, kissing him deeply. Stan kissed her back, not caring that there were people staring.

“Hey Stan,” she greeted when she pulled away, “New angel needs to be registered?”

“How’d you know?” Stan asked, grinning. Wendy chuckled.

“Because you’re always so diligent with your work,” she commented, “You always come to the Grand Hall for work. Never just to say hi to any of your friends.”

“That’s not true! I can say hi to my friends!” Stan protested. He turned and waved to the first angel he saw. “Hey Scott!” The brown haired Scott gave him a slightly confused look and waved back. “See?” Stan said, turning back to Wendy.

“Yes, Stan, you’ve proven me wrong,” she said in a nicely sarcastic way.

“Good,” Stan nodded in satisfaction, “Well, if you excuse me, I have a new angel I have to get registered. Then I’m going to go down to Earth for a while, so don’t wait up for me.”

“All right Stan,” Wendy giggled, giving him a kiss on the cheek, “My little work bug.”

Stan returned her kiss before flying past her to where the record book of all the angels was. With great difficulty, he opened it up to the right page (the book was enormous, and someone kept closing it after Stan left.) With a brief sigh, Stan plucked one of his feathers from his wing to use as a quill, as someone kept stealing his. He was pretty sure it was Kenny.

When he was done registering Michael, Stan marked his place in the book and dipped his feather in the inkwell. He stretched his wings with a long yawn before flying out of the Great Hall. Now down to Earth. Where he waited…

Stan landed softly and smoothly on the hard ground in front of a cozy grey-green house that was situated on a street with a bunch of other houses that looked very similar to this one, only in different colors. This was not Stan’s house, of course, nor was it his home when he was alive. But he always kept watch over the people who lived in this house and gave special attention to the eldest son who lived here with his parents and younger brother.

Not knowing if the person was home or not, Stan took a moment to smooth out his hair and robes to try to look presentable. Then, taking a deep breath, he slipped through the door (because angels can do that) and entered the house. He went into the living room when he heard the sound of the TV on, but who he saw there shocked him.

“What are you doing here?” he exclaimed.

Chapter Text

When Tweek woke up, he went immediately into a panic. This was not heaven. He was naked. And there was someone with their arm around him. Keeping him down. Preventing him from escaping. Then he opened his eyes and remembered what had happened. That’s right, he was sinking in the ocean and a demon named Craig saved him.

For some reason, Craig was not only asleep next to him, but he had thrown an arm over him as well. Feeling panic start to well up inside him, Tweek tried to carefully move Craig’s arm so he could flee, but the moment he started to touch his arm, Craig mumbled in his sleep and unconsciously tightened his grip on him. Tweek let out a frightened squeak as he was pulled closer to the demon.

Well, what should he do now? Should he try to wiggle free anyway? Should he wake him? What if he remembered he was a demon and tried to kill him? What if he got under the covers with him or something? What would he do then?

Tweek was starting to panic so hard, that he let out an involuntary cry and immediately startled Craig awake. Craig quickly snapped his eyes open, looking around for a moment before realizing where his arm was and snatching it away, clearly embarrassed.

“Sorry,” Craig mumbled, sitting up. He went over to where he had laid their clothes out to dry and started putting on his own clothes. “How are you feeling?” he asked when he had his clothes back on.

Tweek mumbled something under his breath, not looking him in the eye. Craig rolled his eyes and threw Tweek his robe and turned around so he could get dressed.

“So, do you come to this beach often?” Craig asked suddenly. Tweek flinched.

“What makes you say that?” he said after a moment. Craig shrugged.

“I was just wondering,” he replied. “I come here a lot too, just to warn you so I don’t have to rescue you from the ocean every single time we cross paths.”

“But why DID you save me from the ocean?!?” Tweek blurted out. Craig turned to look at him, a look of mild confusion on his face.

“I don’t know,” he replied eventually. “Because I felt like it, I guess.”

Tweek blinked at him in surprise. “BECAUSE YOU FELT LIKE IT!?!” he screamed in a louder voice than he meant to. Craig shrugged in response, looking slightly embarrassed.

“I mean, you know,” he mumbled. “Anyway, I guess I should be getting back to Hell soon. I’m sure somebody is going to eventually notice that I’m gone. I mean, I doubt it, but still.”

Tweek let out a squeak of fright when he realized that somebody in Paradise was going to start worrying about him soon as well. I mean, who knows how long he had been gone, and what if they started worrying and sent out a search party? What if the search party got lost and they had to send out a search party for the search party?!? What if THAT search party got lost?!?

“Hey,” Craig said suddenly, startling him out of his thoughts. “I never got your name.”

Tweek twitched slightly, telling himself not to give this demon his name, but his mouth didn’t agree with him.

“Tweek,” he told him. “It’s Tweek.” Craig smiled.

“That’s a cute name,” he replied. “Well then, see you around, Tweek.” Then he quickly brushed past him and made his way out of the tiny shack, leaving Tweek to stare in surprise after him, wondering what had just happened.

 

Stan couldn’t help but stand there open mouthed as Cartman glared back at him from the couch. The fat goat devil had a bowl of chips sitting with him as he casually lay across the couch, with crumbs all over, suggesting that he had been there for a while now.

“What are you doing here?” Stan repeated his question when Cartman didn’t reply right away. Cartman scoffed at him.

“Um, I can go wherever I want,” he said at last. “I’m a demon, in case you haven’t noticed. I do what I want, when I want. The question is, what are you doing here?”

Stan gulped. “I’m here to make sure you weren’t up to any trouble,” he muttered unconvincingly. Cartman rolled his eyes, obviously not fooled.

“Oh please,” he growled. “You didn’t even know that I was here until a few moments ago. What are you really doing here?”

“You know what?” Stan snarled. “I don’t have to explain myself to the likes of you! I’m a high-ranking angel! My business is my own affair!”

Cartman opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by sounds coming from upstairs. They both froze for a moment before turning to see a teenager around their age coming down the stairs in an annoyed manner. He had fair skin and emerald eyes, and his green ushanka hid his red hair. He stopped halfway down the stairs when he spotted the angel and demon and he let out a long groan of frustration.

“Oh God,” he grumbled. “Not you two again.” Stan smiled guiltily at him, while Cartman just continued to eat chips. “I thought I told both of you to stop breaking into my house. You know my parents think I’m crazy because I can see you.”

“Wait, you know him?” Stan and Cartman asked each other at the same time. The teenager rolled his eyes.

“Of course,” he growled. “Why else would you both just be standing in my living room? You two are just lucky my parents aren’t home right now.”

“Sorry, Kyle,” Stan mumbled, not looking him in the eye. He felt his heart stop briefly at the sight of the angry Jew, and a fresh wave of guilt washed over him. For months now, he had been coming down to Earth to visit Kyle. They had first met when Stan had gone down to Earth for recon. Humans normally couldn’t see angels and demons (roll credits!), but when he was walking down the street, seemingly unseen, Kyle passed him and immediately froze, turning to look directly at him.

“How are you getting those wings to move like that?” he had asked, making Stan freeze as well. “Or make it look like that halo is hovering above your head?”

“Wait, you can see me?” Stan had blurted out. Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Well yeah,” he had replied. “I’m not blind, you know.”

It hadn’t taken long for Stan to convince Kyle that he was angel. Or at least, once he had shown off the fact that he could fly. For some reason, even though it was against the rules, Stan was immediately compelled to tell Kyle everything about his world. He just couldn’t help it. Humans couldn’t see angels, but Kyle could for some reason, and it drew Stan to him. He couldn’t help but constantly go down to Earth to visit Kyle.

He had told himself that he was doing no harm by coming and visiting this human often. If Kyle could see angels and demons, then he could be his eyes and ears on Earth, making sure all the demons weren’t doing anything too terrible. Or at least, that’s what he kept telling himself. He almost never did any sort of business whenever he hung out with Kyle.

What Cartman was doing, visiting the same person, he had no idea. And with the way Kyle was glaring at both of them, he could feel the familiar guilt rise up in him again. Why was he still doing this? And now Cartman knew that he came here a lot. What would he do with this information?

“You want me to make him leave?” Cartman asked suddenly, gesturing towards Stan. “Because I can make him leave for you.” Kyle glared at him and opened his mouth to reply, but Stan beat him to it.

“Wait a minute, why should I leave?” he growled at him. “You’re the one who should leave! You’re a demon, I can’t trust you!”

“Well, I was here first, so you can suck it,” Cartman replied, his nose in the air. “And who can trust an angel anyways? You’re always just poking your nose into other peoples’ businesses, whether they want you or not. So, why don’t you just fly back to that stupid paradise of yours and annoy someone else?”

“Well, at least I can fly,” Stan snarled under his breath. “And for your information, I’m here on actual business, unlike you, who seems to just be here to steal people’s food.”

“At least I can actually admit what I’m doing here,” Cartman shot back. Kyle rolled his eyes and started back down the stairs again.

“You haven’t even sort of answered what you’re doing here,” Stan pointed out.

Before Cartman could reply, however, Kyle reached the bottom of the stairs. Without another word, the human seized Cartman by one arm and dragged him to his feet, before walking over and calmly grabbing Stan with his other hand and turned him around. He calmly and quietly shoved the two of them over to the front door, pushed them through it, then slammed the door in both of their faces.

Cartman and Stan both stood there for a long moment, staring in surprise at the door. Then Cartman turned to glare at the angel, a snarl drawing over his lips.

“Good going,” he growled at him. “You made him kick us out!”

Stan glared at him, but didn’t reply. He didn’t have to explain himself to this low life demon. But he did have to get back to Paradise before he was missed. He waited until Cartman had turned and angrily waddled away, muttering under his breath, before spreading his wings and taking flight. Unfortunately for him, Cartman had just given him another reason to continue to visit Kyle, and he wasn’t going to waste it.

 

Nobody seemed to notice when Craig returned to Hell. The three goths had already settled in well to the place, acting like they had lived here for years. The girl, Henrietta, had a long, fancy cigarette in her hand, smoking nonchalantly when Craig flew down the hole. Most of the demons usually just wandered around, bored, when they were in hell, but the goths seemed perfectly content to stand in the dark corners and do nothing.

Craig’s attention was grabbed away from them, however, when he spotted his best friend, Clyde. Clyde looked more like a griffin that stood on two legs than an actual human, with long ears and a tuft of brown hair on his head. Craig had no idea what Clyde had done in life that had condemned him to Hell, because he was one of the happiest, most easy-going demons there ever was. He was pretty sure even Clyde didn’t know what he had done, but he didn’t seem to really care, either.

He was wringing out his robes, which seemed to be wet for some reason, with a scowl on his face as Craig flew over to him. He looked up when he approached, and a smile broke out on his face.

“Oh hey, Craig,” he greeted him. “What’s up?”

“Why are you all wet?” Craig asked instead of greeting him. Clyde rolled his eyes.

“Kenny thought it would be funny to put a bucket of water over every single entrance and wait for people to walk under them,” he growled. “And this is Hell, so all of the hair dryers and towels instantly vanished once he set that up.”

Craig grinned at the thought, then instantly went back to being serious.

“Listen man, I need to talk to you,” he told him. Clyde gave him a strange look.

“About what?” he wondered.

“So, I met this…guy,” Craig told him with a sigh. “And the strange thing is, I’ve been having a pain in my chest ever since I saw him. I don’t know why, and it only happens when I think about him.”

Clyde cocked his head to the side. “Did he poison you?” he asked. Craig shook his head.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. “I don’t think he’d be capable of doing something like that.” He cringed and put a hand to his chest and waited for the feeling to pass once more before looking at his friend with a worried look in his eye. “Clyde, I think I’m dying.”

Chapter Text

“I really don’t think you’re dying, Craig,” Clyde assured his friend for the third time that day. “I mean, demons can’t die, but even if we could, I don’t think you’re dying.”

“And I’m pretty sure I am,” Craig rebutted.

Currently the two demons were in the human world following one of their favorite people to torment: a one Token Black. He was a close friend of Kyle, but unlike Kyle he couldn’t see the demons who were constantly making his life into a walking Friday the 13th. Kyle told him his bad luck was because of demons, but Token didn’t really know whether or not to believe him.

Sighing, Craig crawled up into a nearby tree as Token sat down with Kyle at an outside diner. Frowning, Clyde followed him up the tree, gripping the trunk with his claws to keep himself steady.

“Don’t try to run away from the conversation!” Clyde scolded Craig, who was casually laying on one of the branches.

“I’m not running away,” Craig countered. Clyde sighed and rolled his eyes.

“All right then. So, you said the pain started when you met some guy,” he clarified, “Who was the guy? Another demon? Or a human or something?”

Craig hesitated. While he completely trusted Clyde, he didn’t really want to admit the person who was causing this pain was an angel. Then he would have to admit that he had been around one, and maybe even confess that he saved the angel from the ocean.

Thinking of Tweek made Craig remember how the little angel shook with nervousness when speaking to him. How embarrassed he got when he had to get undressed in front of the demon. How cute it was when he twitched or tried to put on a brave face. Wait…

Cute?

A sudden sharp pain stabbed at Craig’s chest, and he gasped, clutching at his chest, and promptly fell out of the tree. Startled and surprised, Clyde leaned over and looked down at him.

“Ok! Ok! You don’t have to tell me if don’t want to! Sheesh!”

Tweek was curled up in his tiny bed in his tiny hut on the tiny cloud he called his own. Scattered all around Paradise were little houses that the angels lived in. A place they could retreat to if they wanted privacy. Tweek’s was very plain and rather empty, and he preferred it that way. It’s not like he had a lot of guests.

It was hard for him not to think about what happened yesterday. Why had Craig saved him? Tweek had a feeling the demon didn’t even know himself. Perhaps he was acting on impulse? It was rather hard to tell.

Tweek probably would have stayed in his little hut all day if he hadn’t heard someone right outside his door. He fell out of his bed and crawled to the window and looked out of it. He was rather surprised to see Stan pacing around on his cloud, muttering to himself. Tweek opened the door.

“Um, Stan? What are you doing?” he asked. Apparently, Stan hadn’t noticed Tweek and nearly fell off the cloud when he spoke. “Sorry!” Tweek exclaimed quickly, “I’m so sorry! I thought you heard me open the door!”

“No, no, it’s ok,” Stan muttered, balancing himself, “I was just thinking to myself. Just found out something… concerning down on Earth.”

Tweek twitched harshly. “AH! Concerning? What is it?” He didn’t find out a demon had saved him, did he?

Stan looked at him and a wave of guilt washed over him. He didn’t mean to get Tweek worked up like that. He shouldn’t have said anything.

“Don’t worry, Tweek,” he said quickly, “It’s nothing I can’t handle. It won’t affect you or any one else in Paradise at all. Anyway, I’ve got to get back to work.”

With that, Stan spread his wings and took off. He didn’t really have work to do, he was done for now, but he didn’t want to accidentally say anything to Tweek that might spill what he really did on Earth. He had a tendency to start blurting things out that he hadn’t meant to say once he started talking.

Deep in his own thoughts, Stan didn’t even see that he was about to fly right into Kenny’s open arms. He yelped in surprise as he crashed into his friend, who immediately has his arms around him, twirling him around in the air.

“Kenny!” Stan gasped, holding on for dear life, “Stop! You’re making me dizzy!”

Laughing, Kenny let go, causing Stan to go spinning off about twenty feet away before he managed to stop himself. Trying not to throw up, Stan looked over at Kenny who was still laughing hysterically.

Sighing, Stan flapped his wings a few times to steady himself. “You know, Kenny, you’re not as funny as you think you are,” he hissed. Kenny grinned at him.

“Yes, I am,” he replied. Stan rolled his eyes but decided not to dignify that with a response. Instead he brushed off his robes and looked at his friend.

“Did you need something?” he wondered.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Kenny replied. He folded his arms behind his head. “I’ve been a little worried about Tweek. He’s been really worried that demons are going to attack. And he disappeared for a couple of hours yesterday, and when he came back he seemed distracted.”

Stan cocked his head. Tweek disappeared yesterday? Well, he probably would have noticed if he hadn’t been visiting Kyle. But he had a good reason for that!

“Do you know where he went?” he asked Kenny. The blond-haired angel shook his head.

“No clue,” he answered, “Then again, I didn’t really ask. You know how he is. Won’t give a straight answer to any question you ask.”

Stan sighed. “Yeah, that’s true,” he admitted, “Don’t worry Kenny, I’ll keep a closer eye on him for you.”

“Thanks, Stanny me boy!” Kenny saluted him, spread his wings, and took off. Stan watched him with an annoyed look.

“And stop calling me that!” he called after the retreating angel.

Hell was an… interesting place to say the least. There were two main levels, a top level that was vast and cave-like with red-hot walls and a dark red glow, that was mostly empty save for the hole that led to the surface and the Pit of Despair. There was also a single building that served as the meeting hall and the go between the surface level and below ground level. The below ground level was enormous and maze-like. It was very easy for new demons to get completely lost down there. Much like the angels had their huts, demons had a single tiny room that they could retreat to, and it was pathetic. The only things in any of the rooms was a bed, a nightstand with a broken lamp, and a bottle of lube. There was nothing to distinguish any of these rooms from each other, but demons could only enter their own room. Try to open the door to another demon’s room without permission and it would be locked. So, if you couldn’t remember which room number was yours (literally the ONLY thing to let demons know which room was which) you were screwed. There were other rooms as well that served various purposes and were much easier to find.

When Craig and Clyde got back to Hell they found demons pouring out of the meeting hall, as if just getting out. Craig scoffed in disbelief.

“Seriously? Garrison called another meeting?” he muttered, “What is he trying to accomplish even?”

“I don’t know,” Clyde sighed, shaking his head, “It’s like he thinks the angels are planning something. Crazy old man.”

They stood and watched as more demons left the building and flew off. Some of the last ones to exit were the goths, and they looked half asleep. Craig grinned and nudged Clyde.

“Looks like the newbies didn’t enjoy Garrison’s lectures too much,” he snickered. Clyde laughed to himself.

The two of them headed towards the meeting hall. Craig had always hated the fact that it was the only way to get underground, because that meant he was fighting through swarms of hideous ugly demons. Seriously, Clyde was probably the only non-human looking demon that was pleasant to look at.

An unfortunate side effect of living in Hell is that one tended to change appearance the longer they were there. For most folks who died, their worst traits and sins warped their physical appearance until they became twisted, horrendous monsters. Fortunately for Craig the worst that happened to him was that his fingers grew sharp and pointy from poking people so much.

As Craig and Clyde started pushing past the demons who were just sort of lingering in the entrance, Craig had the unfortunate luck of being pushed against arguably the worst demon of the lot: Kenny.

Kenny was so full of evil that the moment he entered Hell his body started warping and twisting into that of a deformed monster. Think Manbearpig but even scarier and more hideous. With wings, horns, and a pointed tail. He was the meanest, cruelest demon there was and was only one step below Satan himself in way of evilness. The only thing keeping him from unleashing his evil onto the world was that he couldn’t fit through the hole.

When Craig was pushed against Kenny, the monster roared with anger and glared at him. Craig flinched as beady red eyes met his.

“Watch where you’re going!” Kenny snarled at him, “Or I’ll rip you apart!” He harshly shoved Craig aside before stomping away. Craig glared after him.

“Jerk,” he muttered to himself before quickly running after Clyde.

“So, you wanna hang out?” Clyde asked his friend eagerly.

“Nah,” Craig replied simply, “I’m going back to my room. Don’t bother me.” Clyde looked like he wanted to say something, but Craig had already started off towards his own room. Most of the time Craig preferred to be alone.

But once he got back to his room, room number 1010, he found his thoughts wandering back to Tweek, and immediately the pain in his chest returned. He curled up on his bed, clutching his chest right over his heart.

“Damn it,” he muttered. What was going on here? What had that angel done to him?

Tweek landed with a harsh thud in the sand beside his favorite rock. He had never been the most graceful flyer, and landing was always particularly difficult for him. After brushing all the sand out of his hair and robes, Tweek carefully ducked underneath the large rock.

For some reason, he felt a twinge of disappointment when he saw that he was alone. Not that he was really expecting to run into Craig again, he had no idea what his life was like. And why would he want to see Craig again anyway? He was a demon!

But deep in his heart, Tweek had a strong desire to see him again, and he didn’t know why. There was just something so… charming in the way Craig acted. Rushing into things without even thinking them through. How he had no problem sleeping next to Tweek in nothing but his boxers. The way he talked as if angels and demons weren’t constantly fighting each other. Tweek tried his best to avoid demons the best he could, but he had observed them enough to know that Craig wasn’t anything like the other demons.

Other demons wouldn’t have spoken to him so calmly. Other demons wouldn’t have been so comfortable being near him. Other demons wouldn’t have rescued him from the ocean.

Tweek sighed and curled up in the sand. For whatever reason, he always had an easier time sleeping on the beach instead of his cloud home, despite his constant fear of being ambushed by demons. The sound of the waves hitting the shore was just so soothing to Tweek, and in no time, his eyelids slid shut and he fell fast asleep.

When Craig got there, he was surprised to find Tweek curled up and asleep. The stabbing pain in his chest suddenly eased into a soothing feeling, like a river washing away a burn. He ducked into the rock and sat down next to the sleeping angel.

Craig couldn’t help but stare at Tweek as he slept. One olive-green wing was gently folded over his face to keep out any light, and he could see his sides rising and felling from each breath he took. Then Craig noticed a bunch of feathers scattered around that could only have come from Tweek.

Something compelled Craig to pick up one of the feathers and carefully put it his pocket. Then he laid down beside Tweek and shimmied over until he was almost touching him. Still not content, he reached out an arm and carefully wrapped it round the angel, pulling him a bit closer before letting out a deep sigh and closing his eyes.

Stan stared over at Kyle’s house from across the street, waiting for the red-haired boy to come out. He was doing this to make sure Cartman stayed away from him and didn’t try anything funny. At least, that’s what Stan was telling himself. He had a duty to look after humans. Was it so wrong to pay close attention to one particular human?

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts, he didn’t even notice someone coming up behind him until there was a knife at his throat and he gasped.

“You’d better stay away from that boy if you know what’s good for you,” growled a fake, gravely voice that was obviously trying to hide the real voice.

Stan hissed as he felt the knife at his throat burn him a little, and he knew it was no ordinary knife. Growling, he whipped around to confront his attacker.

But there was no one there.

Chapter Text

Craig was flying fast and low, not worrying about any obstacles that might be in his way. He loved the feeling of the wind on his face, and he rarely got to experience it. Every time devils did anything, angels would always ruin their fun. So, it was nice when he didn’t have to worry about anything but trying to see just how fast he could go. It was strange that all of the streets seemed devoid of any people, but that suited him just fine. But the angels seemed to want to keep their distance today as well. He didn’t have to worry about any-

“GAH!” someone shouted in his ear, startling him out of his dream. He bolted up into a sitting position, breathing heavily, and looked around only to see Tweek next to him, staring at him with wide, fearful eyes. Tweek’s breaths were coming out in short bursts, like a bunny. It was strangely adorable.

“What are you doing here?” Tweek asked him, panic clear in his voice. “I mean, I know you said you came here often and I shouldn’t worry, but what are you doing here? And why were you sleeping next to me? And why were we cuddling!?!”

Craig couldn’t help but grin at him. “Calm down,” he told him gently. “You act like no one’s ever tried to cuddle with you before.”

“Yeah, but why-?” Tweek started to ask before Craig calmly reached out a hand and covered his mouth, muffling him out. Tweek, surprised, looked into Craig’s deep, dark blue eyes and he instantly felt himself relaxing under his gaze.

“You worry too much,” Craig told him. “Have you ever considered just taking a day off from all that worrying?” Tweek blinked in confusion at him.

“W-what do you mean?” he asked. He had noticed that Craig didn’t answer any of his questions, and was about to demand that he did, but Craig calmly reached out and gently took his hands, pulling him closer.

“Why don’t you just take a fly with me?” Craig asked him, his blue eyes capturing all of his attention.

“To where?” Tweek asked. Craig let out a slightly annoyed sigh.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Anywhere. We have all eternity to do whatever we want. Why would you spend so much of it worrying about nothing? So why don’t you and I just go flying to wherever our whims take us? Trust me, it will do wonders for you.”

Tweek stared at him as if he had gone crazy. Flying around without any purpose? With a demon, no less? But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that it had been a long time since he went flying around for the fun of it. And for some reason, Tweek found himself trusting Craig. He wasn’t sure why, he was a demon. But there was just something about Craig that told him that he would never try to attack him.

“Um, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to just take one day off,” he mumbled eventually. “And it has been ages since I’ve really gotten to spread my wings.” Craig grinned at him and took his hand, dragging him to his feet.

“There you go,” he replied. “Come on, I promise I won’t try to bite.”

He led the twitching angel out of the shack and spread his navy-blue wings, flapping them experimentally. Then he turned back to Tweek with a grin and took off. With a start, Tweek spread his own wings and quickly flew after him.

 

Stan was completely shaken when he returned to Paradise. That wasn’t a human that had attacked him, and it couldn’t have been an angel. Which meant that it had to be a demon. But the only demon who knew that he came down to Earth regularly was that demon Cartman. For some reason, Cartman really didn’t seem like the type who would be able to threaten him. After all, he was a fat and lazy goat man and he definitely wasn’t bright enough to pull something like this off, was he?

Michael was sitting on a cloud nearby when he entered Paradise. He had almost forgotten about the new angel, seeing as how Michael liked to keep to himself, and the goth was still sulking about making it to Paradise (Stan still didn’t get that!). Michael never really acknowledged anyone as they went by him, so Stan was surprised when the goth suddenly looked up at him.

“Hey,” he greeted. “What are always going down to Earth for?”

Stan stopped in his tracks and turned to him nervously. “What do you mean?”

“You’re always coming and going from this place, and you spend most of your time down at Earth,” Michael explained. “Not that I blame you, this place is boring and bright and happy and it makes me sick just looking at it, but it’s still kind of weird.”

“N-not that it’s any of your business,” Stan said, trying to regain his exposure. “But as second-in-command, I have a lot of important business down on Earth that constantly requires my attention.”

Michael blinked at him. “Looks like you’re constantly sneaking off to me,” he pointed out calmly. “But then again, I really couldn’t care less, so do whatever you want.”

“Um, ok,” Stan muttered, starting to turn away. “Carry on then.”

“Wait!” Michael called suddenly. “Quick question. If I were to jump off this cloud right now, would the fall kill me when I hit the pavement?”

Stan stared at him in confusion for a moment. “Well, yes,” he replied. “But you would just…” He didn’t get to say anything more as Michael quickly stood and leaped off the cloud and plummeted down to Earth. Stan stared at the spot where he had been for a moment, until after a long moment of silence, Michael suddenly appeared back on the cloud with a small popping sound. The goth looked around and immediately became furious.

“Damn it!” he growled. “I thought killing myself would put me in Hell! What the fuck?”

Stan sighed, not having the heart to tell him that wasn’t how it worked and instead took off towards the main hall. He needed to distract himself, and thankfully he had a girlfriend who could do just that.

Wendy looked surprised when he came in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. He wasn’t surprised, he did rarely visit unless it was work related. She smiled warmly at him, but still had a look of shock in her eyes.

“Hey Stan,” she greeted. “What are you doing here? Did another angel move in already?”

“I just thought I’d come and see you,” he told her. “I was thinking that I probably do work too hard, so I decided what better way to take time off than to visit my wonderful girlfriend, who might I add, also works too hard.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her and she laughed.

“Well, isn’t that nice of you,” she replied, her face softening. Then her eyes landed on something and they widened with shock. “Stan,” she said slowly. “What happened to your neck?”

Stan stiffened, only just remembering the mark on his neck. Where that strange knife had burned his skin. He quickly reached up to cover it, but Wendy immediately pulled his hands away, narrowing her eyes at the mark.

“Where did you get that mark?” she demanded. “What happened to you?”

“It’s no big deal, Wendy,” Stan muttered, taking a step back.

“No big deal!?!” Wendy repeated. “You expect me to believe that mark is no big deal? Because it looks like a burn left from one of the only things that can destroy an angel! Or have you forgotten when Mr. Mackey told us about those weapons?”

Stan flinched. No, he didn’t forget. There was a handful of weapons that could not only hurt a demon or angel, but kill them entirely. That meant no coming back. But they were all locked in a vault somewhere, far away and out of everyone’s memories. They had been locked away thousands of years ago so neither side could ever find them. Had a demon somehow found out the location of one of the weapons?

“I just got a little too close when someone was waving a blowtorch around down on Earth,” Stan quickly lied. “It has nothing to do with those weapons. I promise, you have nothing to worry about.”

Wendy didn’t look convinced, but she let out a sigh anyway. “If you say so,” she replied. “Just try not to get too close any more blowtorches in the future, ok?”

“I promise,” Stan reassured her. “Now, how about I take you to lunch?”

Wendy smiled at him, though her eyes were still slightly troubled. “I would like that,” she answered sweetly.

 

Wendy knew that Stan was hiding something from her. She knew he hadn’t been burned by a flamethrower, Stan was never that careless. So, after lunch, she told him that she remembered she had something important to take care of back at the office and flew off towards the Angel’s library.

It was deathly quiet in the Angel’s library. Mr. Adler would stalk its halls and make sure there wasn’t a single peep or rule breaker. Mr. Adler was the reason why Kenny was banned from the library. He didn’t like trouble makers, even in death, and if he caught someone screwing around, they would be yelled at for days. But that just made the place perfectly quiet for anyone who needed that sort of thing.

The interior of the building was huge. The bookshelves reached all the way to the ceiling with no end in sight. There wasn’t a ladder in sight (who needed a ladder when you could fly?) and large couches and seats made out of clouds for comfortable places to read.

Mr. Adler looked up at the sound of the door opening, then relaxed when he saw that it was Wendy. She never made trouble.

“Hey, Mr. Adler,” she greeted him.

“Don’t screw around,” he warned by way of greeting. “You all screw around too much.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” Wendy replied with a slight laugh. She flew towards the deeper part of the library, where all the most important books were stored. Hardly anyone bothered going back here, it was filled with boring books.

The book Wendy was looking for wasn’t that hard to find. It was the scariest looking thing amongst a row of innocent looking books. She yanked out the rather heavy thing and sat down, laying it across her lap. The book described the ancient weapons that could destroy immortals, including gods, angels and demons. The writer refused to reveal where any of these weapons were hidden, lest someone found them and used them for nefarious purposes, but he did describe what the weapons looked like and what kind of wounds they left.

Wendy flipped through the pages until she came upon an illustration that looked familiar. Shockingly familiar.

“I knew it,” she growled under her breath.

 

Stan really felt like he should take more caution from now on. Someone knew that he constantly came down to Earth and knew why he did. And they had the balls to threaten him with an unnatural weapon too. All of his common sense was screaming at him to just hang out in paradise, at least until Wendy calmed down. He thought it was a pretty smart idea.

So, he had no idea why he was flying down to Earth again, going to the same house to visit the same person. When he slipped through the door once more, he felt his heart speed up.
Kyle was lying on the couch, fast asleep, with a hand over his eyes to block out the light. Stan felt his breath leave him just watching him. He hovered over and sat down on one of the armrests and stared down at the Jew. Creepy as it may be, he liked to watch the red head sleep, and he found himself doing it more than once.

Stan would have sat there and watched him longer, but at that moment Kyle began to stir, and he had to quickly make it look like he had just gotten there and hadn’t been staring at him for over five minutes. Kyle let out a groan as he stretched out all of his limbs like a cat before finally opening his eyes and spotting Stan. He sighed at the sight of him.

“Oh, hey Stan,” he greeted. “When did you get here?”

“Oh, just now,” Stan replied, trying to make his shrug seem nonchalant. “I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would swing by and see how you’re doing. Has Cartman been giving you any trouble?”

“Not since he was here with you,” Kyle told him. “I haven’t seen him since then, thank goodness. He’s been driving me crazy.”

Stan didn’t know if he should be concerned or not. He would be more than happy to hear that Cartman never came up to the surface again, but he didn’t know what the demon’s end goal was either.

Kyle watched him as he hovered over to sit down next to him. He narrowed his eyes slightly when he spotted Stan’s neck, and Stan quickly put his hand over his burn.

“What happened to your neck?” Kyle wondered, concern in his voice.

“Just some idiot with a blowtorch,” Stan answered quickly. “I got a little too close to it.”

“It looks like a cut from a knife that was on fire or something,” Kyle pointed out, leaning forward and pulling Stan’s hand away. Stan felt his heart flutter at the contact.

Before Stan could answer, however, they were interrupted by Kyle’s parents entering the room from the kitchen. Kyle’s mother was a large woman, and a red head as well, and she was constantly protesting for some sort of cause in town. His father was a skinny, smaller man with balding black hair, constantly wearing a yarmulke on his head to cover the fact.

“Kyle, who are you talking to?” his mother asked, looking around. Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes.

“No one, mom,” he replied, knowing what her response to this would be.

“See, Gerald?” she said, turning to her husband. “I told you he’s just playing with his imaginary friend like always. It’s no big deal.”

“Well, I’ve told you before he’s too old to have an imaginary friend,” Mr. Broflovski sighed. “He should be making real friends at his age.”

“I do have real friends,” Kyle growled at them, angry that they were once again talking about him as if he wasn’t even there. “I have Token and Timmy and Nichole!” But once again, he was ignored by his parents, who once again got into an argument. Kyle let out a sigh and turned to Stan, who was watching him with wide eyes.

“Let’s get out of here,” he mouthed to the angel. He quickly put on his shoes, told his still arguing parents that he was going to Token’s house, then quickly left the house with Stan following close behind him. Stan quickly fell in step with him and pressed against his side as the red head stared miserably at the ground.

“I’m sorry I make your parents think you’re crazy,” Stan apologized after a moment of silence. Kyle let out a sigh.

“It’s not your fault,” he replied. “It’s mostly Cartman who tries to make me look crazy. He pulls these stupid stunts and then my mom thinks I blame it on my ‘imaginary friend.’ At least you stay quiet whenever they’re in the room.”

Stan gave a weak smile. “So, are we really going to your friend’s house?” he wondered.

“I don’t know,” Kyle answered. “I just wanted to get out of the house, really.”

Stan thought for a moment, then a grin broke over his face. He knew this was against regulations, but apparently he had misplaced his common sense somewhere.

“You want to just get out of this dingy town for a while?” he asked him. Kyle gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean?” he asked, stopping in place. “How would we do that?”

Stan took a few steps forward, then turned to face him. His grin became wider at the surprised look on Kyle’s face, and he stepped forward to press himself against the red head, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Hold on tight,” Kyle heard him whisper in his ear. Kyle had just enough time to quickly wrap his arms around Stan’s shoulders before the angel spread his brilliant wings and took off towards the sky.

Chapter Text

Kyle clung desperately to Stan as the angel flew through the air. It wasn’t until this very moment when he remembered that he was rather afraid of heights. He gripped Stan harder, trying hard not to start hyperventilating. He felt Stan gently rub his back.

“You doing all right there, Kyle?” he called. Kyle shivered.

“If I pretend I’m not flying hundreds of feet above the ground with a being that shouldn’t exist, then I’m fine!” Kyle replied breathlessly.

Stan look down at Kyle and saw the terrified look on his face. Smiling softly, he flew closer the ground and slowed down a bit. Kyle relaxed his grip a bit on Stan, so he could breathe again. Now that he was no longer close to death, Kyle could look out over the water that they were flying over.

The sun’s rays made the ocean sparkle and shine with orange and yellow. Seagulls flew overhead, squawking and flying happily. Kyle let out a little sigh. This wasn’t so bad. He could get used to a view like this.

A small patch of land came into view and this is where Stan landed. He set Kyle down on his feet who wobbled a little before regaining balance. As Kyle leaned against a tree, trying to stop himself from passing out, Stan quickly glanced around, making sure they hadn’t been followed. Luckily it looks as though they hadn’t been.

When he turned back around, he was a little startled to see Kyle staring at him. “What’d you bring me here for?” he wondered.

Stan tried not to grow nervous or embarrassed. “Oh, I needed to rest my wings,” he replied in a half-lie, “I’m not used to carrying things for a long distance.”

Kyle shrugged, seemingly ok with that answer. Stan watched him wander around the little patch of land, looking to see what was there. He took a few steps in one direction, a couple of steps in another direction, then turned to Stan.

“Ok, I’m bored now,” he announced. Stan had to resist the urge to smile. His rather uncaring and slightly cynical attitude was one of things that drew Stan to Kyle.

“Would you like to go back now?” he asked.

“Yes, please,” Kyle replied, “Being surrounded by all this ocean is kind of unnerving.”

Stan let out a small laugh before wrapping his arms around Kyle, who did the same. As soon as he was sure Kyle had a good grip on him, Stan spread his wings and leapt up into the air. He reminded himself not to fly up too high as his wings beat powerfully.

They glided across the ocean, with Kyle’s feet just barely skimming the surface of the water. He was a little apprehensive, but he trusted Stan enough not to suddenly drop him. He was relieved when the shore got closer and closer.

Finally, Stan flew over to a remote part of the beach and gently set Kyle down. Again, he stumbled a little before regaining his balance. He put a hand on Stan’s shoulder to steady himself and let out a little puff of air.

“Thanks for the ride,” he said. Stan grinned at him.

“No problem,” he replied, “I really like hanging out with you.”

“Yeah, of the two invisible beings who constantly visit me, you’re definitely the more tolerable one,” Kyle commented.

Stan let out a small laugh and tried hard not to blush. He didn’t want anyone thinking he was attracted to Kyle or anything. He had a girlfriend in Paradise! He cleared his throat and looked over at the boy.

“Um, so, what are you doing for the rest of the day?” he asked, trying not to sound so nervous. Kyle shrugged.

“I’m probably going to go hang out with Token,” he replied, “A couple of demons have been tormenting him a lot lately, and it’s giving him a lot of bad luck.”

“Well, um, perhaps I should come along,” Stan suggested, “I could keep those demons away from your friend.”

“Sure, if you want to,” Kyle answered, “Just try not to make me look too crazy in front of Token, please.”

“I make no promises.”

Craig and Tweek flew out over the city, heading towards the country side where they would be less likely to be spotted together. Craig had to constantly slow down and wait for Tweek, who had obviously not flown for any real distance or time in quite a while. He turned over in the air, so it was like he was laying on his back and looked back at Tweek. The angel was flapping his large wings in an attempt to keep up. Craig smiled and slowed down until Tweek was right beside him.

“How are you holding up?” he asked, trying to hide the grin forming on his face, “You getting tired yet?”

Tweek looked at him, a small frown on his face. “I can keep up just fine!” he insisted, “I’m just not used to flying so much. And I’m not getting tired!”

“If you say so,” Craig chuckled.

They entered the country side as the sun started to set, lighting the sky in brilliant warm colors. Tweek sighed a little as he watched the sunset. There was just something so calming and relaxing about it that always managed to soothe Tweek. He didn’t even realize that Craig was staring at him.

“You know, some might say what we’re doing right now is pretty romantic,” Craig joked, drawing Tweek from his thoughts, “You know, with the sunset and us flying together. Wouldn’t you agree?”

It took a moment for Tweek to fully process Craig’s words and when he did, he nearly fell out of the sky in shock. “GAH! Romantic!? This isn’t romantic! Why would you say something like that?!” he shouted at the demon.

Craig couldn’t help but laugh at the angel’s reaction. “Calm down!” he urged, “I was just messing with you! I don’t even believe in romance!”

Tweek couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment from his over the top reaction. “R-Right,” he muttered, “I know. Er, I knew you were kidding.”

“Heh, sure you did,” Craig replied with a grin. Then, unexpectedly, he started flying upside-down again and flew underneath Tweek. Before the angel could ask what he was doing, Craig wrapped his arms around him and pressed him against his body. Tweek yelped in surprise.

“AH! What are you doing!?” he cried.

“Relax,” Craig purred in a soothing voice (and also somehow managing to stay in the air,) “Just trust me.”

Tweek didn’t want to trust him, but when he looked down into Craig’s eyes he found himself relaxing in spite of himself. He knew it could be extremely dangerous to trust a demon with anything, but rational thought was not reaching Tweek’s brain right now.

Craig smiled up at him then flipped them both over in the air. Tweek let out a tiny squeak at the sudden movement and clung desperately to Craig, panting rapidly. The demon chuckled and pressed Tweek tighter against him.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “We’re just having fun.”

Tweek blinked up at him with wide eyes. “Fun?” he repeated in a small voice, as if he had never heard the word before.

“Yeah,” Craig replied, “Haven’t you done anything before just for fun?”

Trembling slightly, Tweek shook his head. “N-Not really,” he muttered, “My parents were very strict when I was alive and I never really got time to myself. Then when I went to Paradise, I was really paranoid about… things.” He didn’t want to tell Craig that he thought demons were planning on attacking. He was afraid he would grow angry and hurt him.

Craig smirked down at him. “Wow,” he said, “You really did need this.” Tweek felt himself blush a little.

“I guess so,” he murmured. Craig let out a little huff of laughter.

“Come on, we’re gonna go have some fun,” he decided. He let go of Tweek just enough so that he could fly on his own, but he still held his hand. Tweek was glad Craig was taking the lead. That way he couldn’t see him blushing like crazy.

The two flew across the country side until they were back in the city headed towards the beach. They landed near their rock and the shack. Craig sat down in the sand and pulled Tweek down with him.

“Nng! This is just the beach!” Tweek pointed out, “What’s fun out here?”

Craig scoffed. “Are you kidding? People love the beach!” he exclaimed, “Here, watch this.” Standing up, Craig took a deep breath. He closed his eyes and channeled his demonic powers and slowly the sand started to shift. Tweek “eep!”-ed with fear and quickly scrambled to hide behind the rock. Craig didn’t take any notice and continued to shape the sand with his powers. When he opened his eyes, there stood a large, magnificent sand castle.

“See?” he asked in a proud voice, not even noticing that Tweek was no longer beside him, “Neat, huh?”

Tweek slowly peeked out from behind the rock to see what Craig had done. He had built a large sand castle that stood a good foot taller than Craig. It looked just like a medieval castle with careful details down to every last brick and window. On the front of the castle was a sand banner that read “Castle Tweek.”

Blinking in surprise, Tweek walked over and stood beside Craig. “Y-You made that?” he asked in awe, “F-For me?”

“Yep,” Craig replied proudly. He watched as Tweek cautiously approached the castle and inspected it. He stretched out one wing and brushed at the sand with a feather. The castle held firm. Tweek looked back at a Craig.

“This is really well made,” he commented, “I didn’t know demons could make something like this.” Craig shrugged nonchalantly.

“Most demons don’t use their powers to create things,” he said, “They usually only destroy. But I don’t like doing that.” There was a moment of silence between them. “Um, come on, I want to show you other things you can do at the beach.”

For the next half hour or so, Craig and Tweek played together on the beach. Tweek tried using his own powers to make a sand castle for Craig. It wasn’t nearly as impressive as the one Craig had made, as admittedly Tweek didn’t use his angelic powers very often, but Craig still praised him all the same. After that they drew huge drawings in the sand. Craig drew a picture of Clyde while Tweek drew his worst nightmare: decaf coffee. When Craig had finished his drawing of his friend, he suddenly started chasing Tweek around the beach, growling at him in a playful over-the-top manner. He caught the angel around the waist and they both fell to the sand in a giggling pile of limbs and wings.

“Wow,” Tweek laughed as Craig lightly pinned him down, “I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun before!” He looked up at Craig with sparkling eyes. “Thank you for making me do this. I really needed this.”

Craig smiled softly down at the angel. “You’re welcome, Tweek,” he replied, “I have a lot of fun being around you.”

The two stared into each other’s eyes and their faces slowly relaxed. Craig suddenly felt a powerful urge to do… something. He suddenly found himself leaning down at the exact same time Tweek was reaching up. Their lips met in the middle and they found themselves kissing each other deeply. They wrapped their arms around each other, pulling each other in tight.

Craig had never kissed anyone so passionately before. Sure, he had made out with a few girls, but they were hot make out sessions, not slow careful kissing like this. And he had never felt anything for those girls quite like how he was feeling now. His heart was like a drum in his chest, and he had never felt more alive. Bebe had nothing on this.

Tweek had never kissed anyone before, so this was new to him. He didn’t even know what had compelled him to lean up to kiss Craig, but now that he was it somehow felt so right. Craig’s lips fit perfectly against his own, and in that moment, all of his fears and paranoid conspiracies had completely vanished. All that mattered at the moment was kissing Craig as deeply as possible.

He could start panicking when he finally stopped kissing Craig.

Chapter Text

Panic was exactly the first thing Tweek started doing once he and Craig finally realized what was happening and pulled away from each other. He was pretty sure he was already hyperventilating. He just kissed a demon! If there wasn’t a rule about this, he was pretty sure there would be if anyone ever found out, and he was sure that demons could suck the life force out of him with their mouths.

“Gah!” Tweek exclaimed. “Why did we just do that!?! I mean, we were just playing in the sand, and then suddenly we were kissing!”

“Relax,” Craig told him, as if none of this was a big deal. “You’re acting like no one’s ever kissed you before.” Tweek stared at him with shock in his wide eyes.

“No one has ever kissed me before,” he told him, his voice only slightly less panicked. Craig blinked at him in surprise. For some reason, he found it hard to believe and a little heart-breaking. Or at least, something was happening to his heart.

“That can’t be true,” he replied. “You’re way too cute for someone to not try and kiss you at least once.”

Tweek wrapped his arms around himself and looked away. Craig sat up and allowed Tweek to do the same. Neither of them spoke for a long moment. Then suddenly, Craig started to lean toward him, and Tweek looked at him in alarm.

“What are you doing?” he asked, panic starting to creep back into his voice. Craig paused for a moment to look at him.

“Kissing you again,” he replied matter-of-factly. Then he leaned forward and kissed him deeply. And Tweek let him again. They wrapped their arms around each other, melting into the kiss. Tweek knew he should be panicking about all of this, but right now, he really couldn’t care. He felt safe and warm in Craig’s arms and that was all that mattered.

They kissed for nearly an hour, wrapping their arms tightly around each other, their tongues intermingling. It wasn’t until they finally pulled away that they realized that the sun was starting to set. Craig looked over the sea then turned back to Tweek with a sigh.

“I have to go,” he muttered, his mouth less than an inch from Tweek’s.

“Can I see you again?” Tweek asked, a shiver going down his spine. Craig grinned and kissed him gently before replying.

“How about same time tomorrow?” he replied.

“Perfect,” Tweek stated. They held each other for a moment longer before reluctantly parting. Tweek stood back and watched as Craig spread his wings and flew off into the sky. He stood there for a long moment, collecting his thoughts, until he could no longer see Craig anymore. He shivered at the sudden cold air.

What was happening to him? Tweek had never been attracted to anyone before, what made this demon so special? And that kiss…it was like fireworks going off in Tweek’s brain the moment their lips touched. He was still having trouble breathing.

Tweek slowly took off for paradise, having a feeling that he wouldn’t be missed. He wished he had someone he could talk to in paradise about his problem. But he didn’t really interact with anyone enough to consider someone a close friend. And he didn’t want to get himself or anyone else into trouble. It would be even worse for Craig, he imagined.

When he got back to paradise, he could see Michael moping around the entrance like he always was. Tweek was confident that he could go right past him without Michael seeing him. He already had a knack for not being noticed, and Michael hardly ever acknowledged anyone who flew past him.

But, just like with Stan, the moment Tweek started towards his home, Michael looked up at him.

“Hey, twitchy angel,” he called to him, making Tweek jump. “Where have you been all day?” Tweek stared in horror at him. Had the other angels noticed him missing? What if they really had sent out a search party.

“I’ve just been…on Earth,” Tweek mumbled, flying over to him guiltily. “Have I really been gone so long? Has anyone noticed?” Michael blinked at him.

“Not really,” he replied and Tweek had to suppress a sigh of relief. “I noticed though. I notice a lot of things, since there’s really not much to do up here except watch people. I notice you go down to Earth a lot.”

“Um…” was all Tweek could think of to say.

“I’ve been thinking of finally going back down to Earth,” Michael told him, ignoring his statement. “I’ve got to find my friends again, or I’ll go mad up here.”

“Oh, are your friends still alive?” Tweek asked sympathetically. He hadn’t really had friends when he was alive, so he didn’t really miss anyone on Earth when he died. Michael shook his head.

“Unless all three of them somehow survived standing next to an explosion, I’m pretty sure they’re dead,” he replied. He let out a hiss of frustration. “The problem is that they’re in hell while I’m stuck up here.” Tweek wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he just nodded while trying to look sympathetic. Michael shook his head and looked at him again. “You look like you have a lot on your mind, twitchy,” he stated.

“It’s Tweek,” the angel responded automatically. Michael continued to stare at him, and suddenly Tweek found himself blurting out, “Is it wrong to fall in love with someone you’re not supposed to?!?”

The goth blinked at him. “Who’s to say who you’re allowed to fall in love with?” he asked. “The angels? It’s not their business.”

Tweek twitched slightly. “What if it was a demon you were falling in love with?” he wondered. Michael looked like Tweek hadn’t added anything shocking to the conversation.

“So, what?” he replied after a moment. “What’s the big deal if it’s a demon?”

“They’re dangerous!” Tweek told him as if it was obvious (which he felt it was). “And they’re evil!” Michael cocked his head to one side.

“Says who?” he asked. Tweek stared at him in surprise. When he didn’t reply, Michael went on. “If they were really as evil and dangerous as you say they are, then why did you grow a crush on one?” Tweek felt himself start to blush and he turned away.

“I never said I was crushing on one,” he muttered. Michael’s only reply was to raise an eyebrow at him, obviously not convinced. Tweek spun around again. “Please don’t tell anyone!” he begged. “Who knows what the higher ups will do to me if they find out!”

The end of Michael’s mouth twitched. “Why would I tell anyone?” he asked. “It’s none of my business, and it’s not their business. Plus, I don’t care what these conformist assholes think.” Tweek let out a sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” he said gratefully.

“Whatever,” was Michael’s only reply as he flopped back down on the cloud he was sitting on to mope some more. Tweek left him to it and flew back to his own hut. Michael was right. No one noticed he was gone, and it was nobody’s business anyway! He was going to continue seeing Craig no matter what anyone else thought!

 

Craig didn’t know what to think as he flew through the hole into Hell. He had no idea why he had kissed Tweek. He had just done it without thinking, and the moment their lips had met, he knew that nothing else mattered. It had just felt so right. The only other time he had ever felt that sort of rush was when he made out with Clyde. And it wasn’t nearly as big of an impact than when he kissed Tweek. He didn’t have the feeling like he wanted to keep kissing him forever like he had with Tweek.

What had been that strange feeling inside his chest? It was a pleasant sort of feeling, but completely foreign to him. He wished it would go away; it was starting to turn into that pain that he felt in his heart. And he didn’t care what Clyde said, he was pretty sure he was dying.

He was interrupted out of his thoughts when he got to the main level and spotted the goths. Well, two of them at least. The younger goth, Firkle, and the girl, Henrietta, seemed to be looking around the place, confused, as if they had never realized where they were until now. He couldn’t see the third goth, Pete, anywhere, which confused him. He hadn’t seen the three of them be apart since the moment they got there.

Henrietta looked up with a worried look on her face as Craig flew over to them.

“Hey Craig,” she greeted. “Have you seen Pete anywhere? We haven’t seen him for a while and this place is like a maze.”

“This place is a maze,” Craig agreed. She gave him a look and he cleared his throat. “I haven’t seen him,” he answered. “I’ve just been up at the surface all day, so I haven’t really seen anyone.”

Firkle flapped his wings to flutter over and join them. “What do you do up there all day anyway?” he asked. “I didn’t think there was anything to do when you’re dead.”

“There’s plenty to do,” Craig stated calmly. “Clyde and I like to torment this one kid whenever we go up to Earth. He thinks he just has a lot of bad luck, but it’s really us pulling pranks on him. And it’s fun to fly around too.”

Henrietta tilted her head to one side, considering him. “Well, if you see Pete, can you tell him we’re looking for him?” she requested. “And to get his ass back here already?”

“What for?” Craig wondered. “What do you guys do all day?”

“Just because we’re dead doesn’t mean we still can’t do our dark poetry reading,” Firkle replied. “Too bad Michael’s not here though. You would think he would die as well with that explosion and all.”

Craig opened his mouth to ask what he was talking about before deciding that he was better off not knowing, and instead promised Henrietta that he’d keep an eye out for Pete. He then flew off, making his way down to the lower levels. He was hoping to speak to Clyde, but it really was hard to find someone in hell if you didn’t know where they were because, as they had said, it was a stinking maze.

Thankfully, Craig knew which room belonged to Clyde, and if Clyde wasn’t near the entrance, he was usually in his room. Most of the time, Clyde would hang out with Craig, but for the most part he just slept. Craig found it adorable how Clyde would sleep, because his friend would either curl up like a cat with his tail over his beak, or he would lay on his back with his talons in the air.

As he got closer to Clyde’s room, Craig could hear strange noises coming from up ahead. It was strange. It sounded like panting and groaning. Craig figured it was probably two demons having sex and being too lazy to make it to one of their rooms. When he turned the corner, he found that he was not too far off.

Bebe had Pete pinned against the wall and was making out with him fiercely. Craig could tell that she already had her tongue down his throat, and he was making very little effort to fight her off. She had her hands wrapped around his neck, kissing him at every angle while Pete had gently wrapped his arms around his waist. Most of the groaning was coming from her.

Craig gave an annoyed cough into his hand and the two of them sprang apart in surprise, breathing heavily. Bebe spotted him and immediately gave him one of her sexy smiles while Pete refused to look him in the eye.

“Hi Craig,” she said in what she thought was a seductive voice. “Pete and I were just getting better acquainted!” Craig narrowed his eyes at her, feeling strangely overprotective.

“I know what you were doing,” he hissed at her. Bebe had a habit of sleeping with anything that moved, and he didn’t like how heavily she was coming onto the goth. Sure, he had slept with Bebe himself several times before, but that didn’t mean he had to like it, and it certainly gave him a reason to cut off her advances.

“Why don’t you join us?” Bebe suggested, thrusting her chest at him.

“No thanks,” Craig growled. “I like to only have one bath a week.” Bebe shrugged, immune to his hostility.

“Suit yourself,” she said, turning back to Pete. The goth flinched slightly as Bebe slammed her palms into the wall either side of him, pressing herself against him. Before she could go back to kissing him, however, Craig grabbed Pete’s arm and yanked him out of her grasp.

“Actually, I needed to talk to Pete about something,” he said quickly. “In private.”

Bebe frowned at him. “If you say so,” she replied with a slight hiss to her voice. She gave them both a wink before sauntering off, her hips swaying with each step. Craig let out a sigh and turned to Pete, who was looking slightly out of breath.

“I didn’t need your help, you know,” Pete pointed out, still barely looking him in the eye. “I was actually kind of enjoying the attention.”

“I know, that’s the problem,” Craig sighed, rolling his eyes. “You haven’t been here that long, so you don’t know this, but Bebe is trouble, even to other demons. She’s a huge slut who will sleep with anyone and everyone. You don’t want to get mixed up with her.”

Pete looked down at the ground, considering his words. “Um, can you please not tell Henrietta and Firkle that Bebe and I were kissing?” he asked after a moment. “I don’t want my friends thinking I’m a conformist.”

“If you sleep with Bebe, then you are a conformist,” Craig pointed out.

“Yeah, but I don’t want them thinking that!” Pete hissed. Craig let out another sigh.

“Fine, I won’t tell them,” he promised. Pete sighed with relief.

Talking about Bebe made Craig think back to earlier that day when he and Tweek kissed. The pain in his chest had started again, and it got worse the more he thought about kissing Tweek. Or just when he thought about Tweek in general.

Wincing with pain, Craig clutched his chest and leaned his back to the wall next to Pete. The goth looked at him with concern in his eyes.

“Are you ok?” he asked him.

“I don’t know,” Craig answered, panting slightly. “I met this…guy, and I think he poisoned me or something because I can’t stop thinking about him. And every time I do think about him, I get this pain in my heart. It only goes away when I see him, but it’s like this dull ache.”

Pete gave him a strange look. “Does your heart speed up when you see him or think of him?” he asked out of nowhere. Craig blinked in surprise at him.

“Yes,” he said slowly.

“Does your body temperature rise when you see him?”

“Yeah…”

“Have you thought about holding him close or kissing him?”

“I actually did kiss him,” Craig confessed without meaning to. Pete continued to stare at him for a long moment.

“I think you might be falling in love,” he told him eventually in a soft voice. Craig gaped at him, surprised. He had heard of that. This love thing. When he was alive, at least. But he had never felt it before. He didn’t even know anyone who had ever been in love.

“And how would you know all of this?” he blurted out to him. Pete’s eyes widened and he looked away from him.

“I just do,” he muttered, so softly that Craig almost didn’t hear him. Craig shook his head.

“That’s impossible,” he growled. “Demons are incapable of falling in love or feeling any sort of love what so ever.” A look flashed in Pete’s eyes.

“That’s…not true,” he replied slowly. Craig wanted to ask him how he would know this, but he had a feeling that Pete wouldn’t tell him even if he asked. Pete had folded his arms around himself and was leaning against the wall next to him with a sigh, obviously lost in his own thoughts.

“Well, it’s true for me,” Craig said suddenly, startling him. “I’m not in love and I never will be in love. Not with anyone.” Pete looked at him as if he had forgotten what they had been talking about, but gave him a slight shrug.

“If you say so,” he replied. They stood there for another long moment in silence before Craig suddenly remembered something.

“Oh, by the way,” he said, turning to look at the goth demon. “Your friends were looking for you up top.” Pete’s eyes snapped open and he looked at him in a panic.

“Why didn’t you say so?!?” he snapped, standing up straight. “Henrietta will kill me if she thinks I stood her and Firkle up!” He flapped his wings and took off down the hallway, leaving Craig to stare after him.

After a long moment, Craig let out a sigh and took off towards Clyde’s room once more. There was no way he was in love with Tweek. He would prove it to Pete no matter what.

Chapter Text

Kyle often found himself talking with his best friend Token when life got difficult. And it often did when he could see the angels and demons that wouldn’t leave him and his friends alone. He was still thinking about his weird encounter with Stan the other day as he and Token sat at picnic bench at the park. He didn’t even realize his friend was trying to get his attention until Token was waving his hand in front of his face. Kyle blinked several times.

“I’m sorry, I must have dozed off,” he said, “What were you saying?”

Token sighed and rolled his eyes. “I was saying that you’ve been looking rather tired lately,” he commented, “Have you been sleeping well lately?”

“Not really,” Kyle admitted, “There’s been a lot of noise outside my house at night that’s been keeping me up. I think the angels and demons have been fighting more.”

“Right,” Token muttered. Kyle never knew if Token really believed him when he said he could see angels and demons or not.

“Maybe I should invest in some earplugs or something,” Kyle sighed, “Block out all the annoying sounds and such.”

“Hey! We’re not annoying!” Craig objected, poking Kyle in the side with one of his pointy fingers. He and Clyde were sitting at the table with Kyle and Token, but of course Token had no idea they were there.

Kyle tried hard not to cringe at the feeling of Craig’s sharp fingers in his side, but he still ended up making a weird face. Token gave him a concerned look but chose not to say anything. The griffin-like Clyde snickered before plucking a small feather from his neck. He leaned over to Token and lightly started brushing it over his neck, causing Token to start scratching at it. Craig and Clyde chuckled as Kyle rolled his eyes.

It’s not that funny, he thought.

“God, I must’ve just gotten bitten by a bug,” Token muttered as he continued scratching where Clyde was brushing his neck with the feather, “My neck is really itchy.”

“Yeah, that’s it,” Kyle replied, deciding Token probably wouldn’t believe him if he told him it was a griffin demon messing with him.

Kyle had seen Craig and Clyde plenty of times before. They liked to torment Token often and sometimes acted as if Kyle couldn’t see them, though they were fully aware that he could. They often spoke freely around him, so Kyle got quite a bit of demon gossip off the two of them without much effort which was good because Kyle didn’t like to interact with demons if he could help it.

“Does your dad still want to send you to a psychiatrist?” Token asked after Clyde finally got bored with tickling him. Kyle let out a heavy sigh.

“He does, but my mom still won’t let him,” he explained, “I’m glad she doesn’t think I’m crazy, but I wish they wouldn’t argue all the time about it. And it’s not like claiming I see angels and demons everywhere is affecting my school work or social life at all.”

“And how’s Ike doing?” Token wondered.

“They try to keep Ike out of it,” Kyle told him, “But he hears them yelling at night, so he comes into my room and hides.”

“That sucks, man,” Craig said, putting a hand on Kyle’s shoulder. The ginger shuddered slightly at the demon’s cold touch.

“Look,” Token said, ignoring Kyle’s shudder, “Maybe you should lay off taking to angels and demons for a while. Then maybe your dad will stop thinking you’re crazy.”

Kyle let out another sigh. “Oh believe me, I don’t want to talk to them,” he replied, “But they won’t shut up half the time.”

“Hey! I resent that!” Clyde objected.

Ignoring Clyde, Kyle continued. “Even if I try to ignore them, they won’t stop pestering me until I respond,” he said, “It’s basically every classic movie moment where a person is trying not to look or sound crazy.”

“Well, I wish there was some way I could help you, man,” Token said earnestly. Kyle let out a huff of breath.

“Me too,” he muttered.

“You seem distracted,” Clyde noted after the two demons got back to Hell. Craig was lying on Clyde’s bed, his tail twitching and his wings folded irritably behind him. “Did what that boy say really bother you that much?”

“No,” Craig muttered, “I don’t care about that. It’s something else.” He paused and sat up, turning to look at Clyde. “I’m asking this for one of the goths,” he clarified, “Do you think it’s possible for demons to fall in love?”

Clyde sat down on his bum and thought for a moment. “Well, Mr. Garrison says we can’t,” he replied eventually, “When we come to Hell our better feelings and emotions are removed. Apparently.”

As Clyde started scratching himself with his back paw, Craig laid back down on the bed. That can’t be right, he thought, Clyde barely acts like a demon at all. So what is it really?

Perhaps the best way to solve all of this was just to never see Tweek ever again. With firm determination, Craig nodded, folding his arms stubbornly. Then again, he did promise the angel he would meet him again at the same time and place. And he couldn’t even stand imagining the look of sadness and disappointment on Tweek’s face if Craig just didn’t show up.

Ok, he would meet up with Tweek one more time, then he would never see him again.

With that in mind, Craig sat up and stretched his wings. “I’m going out for a while, Clyde,” he told his friend, who was now on his back, rolling around on the floor, “Don’t wait up for me.” He left the room without waiting for a response.

As soon as he left the room, Craig was almost immediately shoved against the wall. His breath was cut off as Kenny slammed one large claw across his throat.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Kenny growled, his nasty breath clogging Craig’s lungs, “You’ve been sneaking off to the surface on your own a lot lately. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. What have you been doing up there?”

“That’s none of your business,” Craig choked out. He gagged as Kenny squeezed his throat tighter.

“Don’t test me,” Kenny hissed, “You think you’re so clever, don’t you? But if I find out what you’ve been doing and I don’t like it, there will be consequences.”

He finally let go of Craig, who crumbled to the ground, gasping for air. He watched as Kenny lumbered away before he shakily got to his feet.

“Asshole,” he muttered. He was about to take off, he was already late for his meeting with Tweek, when someone else grabbed him from behind and spun him around. He didn’t even get to react before Bebe was kissing him deeply.

Growling, Craig shoved her away. “Get away from me, Bebe! What do you think you’re doing, you skank?” he yelled. Bebe smirked at him.

“Don’t play coy with me, Craig,” she said, flicking her hips and tail at him, “I know how much you can’t resist me.”

Craig sighed and rolled his eyes, annoyed. “I don’t have time for this,” he muttered, shoving Bebe out of the way. Bebe pouted to herself as she watched him quickly fly off.

Tweek fidgeted nervously as he waited for Craig on the beach. Where was he? They had agreed to meet at the same place at the same time, right? Oh no, what if Craig had tricked him and was really planning an ambush for him!? He should get out of here!

Just as he was about to fly off in a panic, Tweek heard soft wing beats coming towards him. He looked up and saw Craig flying down towards him. He landed softly on the sand next to him and gave him a gentle smile.

“Sorry I’m late,” he explained, “Kenny attacked me for no reason and Bebe wouldn’t leave me alone.”

Tweek blinked a few times before he broke into a wild grin and flung his arms around the demon. “Craig!” he exclaimed happily, “I was getting worried about you! I was afraid you weren’t going to show up!” He affectionately rubbed his head against Craig’s chest, who gently blushed.

“Well, I gave you my word I would show up,” Craig replied, just a bit flustered, “And I am nothing if not honest.”

Smiling gently, Tweek leaned up and Craig reached down and they gently captured each other’s lips, kissing gently. They pulled away and stared into each other’s eyes for a moment.

“Um, so, what shall we do today?” Tweek asked after a moment. Craig cleared his throat and looked away.

“I thought maybe we could just take a walk on the beach and… talk?” he suggested. Tweek smiled warmly at him.

“That sounds nice,” he said. He hooked his arm with Craig’s and they began a steady pace down the beach by the shore line. “So, um, you said Kenny attacked you?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Craig replied.

“That’s interesting. There’s a Kenny in Paradise too,” Tweek noted, “He’s a little bit of a prankster, but other than that he’s really kind and generous.”

“Huh, what a coincidence,” Craig pondered.

They fell into a silence, but after a while Tweek sighed. “You seem so nice Craig,” he said, a hint of sadness in his voice, “What horrible thing did you to end up in Hell?”

Craig let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not really sure,” he admitted, “The rules always seem to be changing. I don’t think I was really that bad in life. I mean, I was kind of a loner. My only friend was Clyde. Um, is being gay or bisexual a crime in Paradise? Because I lost my virginity to him.”

Tweek gave him a surprised look. “You’re gay?” he exclaimed.

“Well, technically I’m bi, but I guess I prefer guys,” Craig explained. “But I guess it’s because of Clyde that I died in the first place. I don’t why Clyde ended up in Hell. He’s really nice and sweet and chill, even in death. Sure, he’s a little sexual, but he’s a guy, can you blame him? Anyway, when we were alive we would hang out a lot, experiment with each other sometimes. It led to us fucking a few times. But then one day Clyde lost his mom in a horrible accident that everyone kept blaming him for. I tried to be there for him, but he got really depressed. He wasn’t at all the cheerful care-free guy I used to know. Then one day he just got so depressed he committed suicide.”

“Oh dear!” Tweek squeaked out.

“Yeah, and because Clyde was my only friend it wasn’t long after that when I committed suicide as well,” Craig concluded.

“Well, that’s probably why you and Clyde ended up in Hell,” Tweek told him, “Committing suicide is a sin. You’re taking away your own life; the life the Lord gave you. You’re basically saying, ‘I don’t want this gift you gave me anymore’ and throwing it away. That’s a horrible crime in the eyes of the Lord!”

Craig gave a non-committal shrug. “I wouldn’t really know,” he said, “I didn’t go to church much when I was alive.” They walked in silence for a few more minutes before Craig gave a gentle tug on Tweek’s arm. “What about you?” he asked.

“Gah! What about me what?” Tweek exclaimed.

“How did you die?” the demon wondered.

Tweek paused to think about it for a moment. “I-It’s a little hard to talk about,” he murmured, “My parents own a coffee house which was a just a front for a meth house. But I didn’t know anything about it until it was too late.” He shuddered before continuing. “M-My parents, th-they put meth in their coffee, which they made me drink.”

“That’s horrible!” Craig muttered.

“And then there was this one day when my dad decided he wanted to try finding the new perfect blend of coffee,” Tweek continued in a shaky voice, “He made me be the taste tester. Brew after brew he made me drink, all of it laced with meth. I guess my body eventually just couldn’t handle all of those drugs and I died.” Tears started appearing at the edges of Tweek’s eyes. “I don’t think my parents really cared that much. I think they were just sad because they lost their taste tester.”

Before Tweek could completely break down, Craig quickly took the angel into his arms and pressed him closely to his body. Tweek shuddered and sighed, relishing in the warmth Craig’s body gave off. They looked at each other and before they knew it they were kissing each other deeply.

Aw dammit, Craig thought as carefully explored Tweek’s mouth with his tongue, I’m not done seeing him, am I?

Chapter Text

Clyde let out a sigh as he returned to the main area of Hell. He had no idea what was going on with Craig. Normally they would share everything with each other, but Craig had been constantly flying off to places without him, never telling him where he had been. It was frankly starting to insult Clyde. They were supposed to be best friends! Why wouldn’t Craig tell him what was going on with him?

He was so preoccupied worrying about his friend that he almost flew straight into Bebe. He managed to stop himself short, but she turned and spotted him nonetheless. Her face went from being surprised to looking flirty in half a second.

“Oh, hey Clyde,” she greeted him. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Clyde gave her a look. “What are you talking about?” he asked. “This is Hell. I live here. I’ve lived here for a while now. It’s not that surprising.”

“I know,” Bebe said in a somewhat pouty voice. “But I hardly see you anymore! You’re always out with Craig, and it’s never been just us in a long time!” Clyde couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her. He doubted she missed him over the hundreds of other people she “missed.”

“Have you seen Craig?” he asked her instead. She blinked at him, and something flashed across her eyes for a moment.

“No,” she replied, sticking her nose up. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday. And if you do see him first, tell him that he’s been neglecting me lately!”

“Fat chance,” Clyde muttered under his breath before flapping his wings and flying off. He could feel Bebe’s eyes following him, but he refused to turn around and look at her.

As he reached the upper level of hell, he could see the three goths in their usual spot next to the Pit of Despair. Clyde had barely spoken to the goths since they got here; he figured they liked being alone. Then he suddenly remembered what Craig had said the day before. He wondered why the goths of all people would be asking about love.

One of them certainly seemed uncomfortable, but the others didn’t seem to notice. Curiosity got the better of him and he swooped down and landed in front of them. They looked only mildly startled by the sudden sight of him.

“Hey guys!” he greeted cheerfully. “What’s up?”

“What do you want?” Henrietta asked instead of greeting him back. Clyde cocked his head at her, as if confused.

“I’m just trying to be friendly,” he replied. “Craig told me that one of you was asking about love or something, so I was curious.”

“No, we aren’t!” Pete and Henrietta said at the same time, a little too fiercely. Firkle and Clyde blinked in surprise at them as they both refused to look anyone else in the eye. Clyde shook his head. He had a feeling that he shouldn’t try and press them for details.

“Have any of you seen Craig?” he asked instead. “He hasn’t been acting like himself lately and I’m worried about him.”

“He was saying some weird things when I saw him yesterday,” Pete replied, glancing at him only briefly. “But I haven’t seen him since then.”

Clyde let out a sigh of defeat. Why was Craig avoiding him? Why was he going up to the surface without him for so long? And Craig had been rather dodgy about answering him when he asked about the person who was causing him pain. He and Craig told each other everything, so why was this different?

“Well, if you do see him, can you tell him that I’m looking for him?” he asked the goths.

“Sure,” Firkle replied, tossing his used cigarette down the Pit of Despair.

Clyde nodded and the three of them watched as he spread his wings and took off towards the entrance. After a moment of silence, Firkle turned to his two friends.

“Maybe we should go up to the surface,” he said thoughtfully. Pete and Henrietta glanced over at him with slightly confused looks.

“Why?” Henrietta asked.

“Well, we still have to find out what happened to Michael,” Firkle pointed out.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Pete agreed. “Besides, it is getting kind of boring just hanging around here all day.” Henrietta let out a sigh and stamped out her cigarette.

“Fine,” she replied. “But only because that bitch Bebe is coming this way and I do not want to even look at her.” She felt Pete stiffen beside her at her words, but she thought nothing of it. It was hard to relax around a bitch like Bebe.

Bebe had already spotted them and was coming closer. The last thing Pete wanted was for her to get close enough to greet him like she knew him, so he quickly grabbed Henrietta and Firkle’s arms, spread his wings and took off towards the surface, dragging his two friends behind him. Bebe stopped short and glared after them, but made no move to follow them.

The three goths hissed when they broke the surface and they were greeted by bright sunlight. Despite only having lived in Hell for a short while, the goths were already used to the darkness that Hell offered.

“So, what do you want to do first?” Henrietta asked. Firkle shrugged nonchalantly.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “This was your idea.” His two friends looked at him.

“Coming up here was your idea,” Pete pointed out. Firkle looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet and muttered an “Oh yeah,” under his breath. Pete rolled his eyes at him before turning to Henrietta. “Maybe we should start at Michael’s house,” he suggested. “If we died and he didn’t he’d probably be moping in his room all day.”

“Good idea,” Henrietta agreed.

The three of them started down the street, getting their bearings over where exactly in South Park they were. It hadn’t been that long since they died, but everywhere in town looked the same. They wandered aimlessly until they saw a familiar sight of their old school. And it looked like classes were just getting out.

“If I remember right, Michael’s house was this way,” Henrietta recalled. “I doubt he’d want to go to school anymore if we’re not around.”

“He didn’t want to go to school even when we were around,” Pete pointed out as he began to follow her. They had only gone a few feet, however, when they suddenly noticed something. “Wait, what happened to Firkle?” Pete asked, looking around.

They turned around to see Firkle still near the pathway to the school, staring wide-eyed at the entrance and completely unmoving. He was completely stiff, and he didn’t seem to notice anything else going on around him. Pete and Henrietta exchanged glances before marching over to their younger friend. Henrietta grabbed him by the shoulder and started dragging him away. Firkle let out a frightened yelp, but didn’t resist.

“Come on, we’re wasting time,” Henrietta snapped.

“What were you staring at anyway?” Pete wondered, giving his friend a curious look.

Firkle avoided both of his friends’ gazes, instead opting to stare at the ground. “Nothing,” he muttered. Pete looked back to where Firkle had been staring, but only saw a teenager and what appeared to be his younger brother. He kind of recognized the teenager, who almost looked to be staring right at them. But they knew that the living couldn’t see them.

Kyle stared after the three goths, wondering why they had been staring at him, and turned to his brother Ike, who could not see angels and demons like he could. Ike was just standing there patiently, waiting for his older brother to stop staring off into space. The younger boy was adopted and therefor couldn’t see the things Kyle saw, but he listened to his mad ravings anyway. Kyle couldn’t decide if Ike actually believed him about being able to see angels and demons, or if he was just humoring him. Either way, it was nice that someone seemed to take him seriously.

“Whatcha staring at, big brother?” Ike asked, cutting into his thoughts.

“Nothing,” Kyle replied, shaking his head. “Let’s go home.” Then he took his brother’s hand and they set off in the opposite direction of the goths.

Meanwhile, the goths were still making their way towards Michael’s house. They discussed what they would do once they found him, wondering if it was possible to drag a still living human down to Hell. Henrietta was just about to suggest that they move the entrance to Hell right in front of him so he would walk right into it, when there was suddenly a loud splat, and they turned to see something splattered into the ground. Or someone.

“Oh hey, it’s Michael,” Pete observed, a note of surprise in his voice. Their friend had fallen from who knows where, and he appeared to have black, feathery wings and a pitch-black halo. He seemed deader than dead.

Before any of them could move or even comment, there was a small popping sound and Michael instantly vanished right before their eyes. As Pete, Henrietta and Firkle stared at the spot he had been in complete shock, Michael reappeared at the gates of Paradise once more. A look of anger spread on his face.

“Damn it!” he hissed. “Not again!”

As soon as Kyle got home, he took his bag upstairs so he could start on his homework and not have to talk to his parents or listen to them argue. He opened the door to his room and immediately regretted it. Cartman was lounging on his bed, eating several different snack foods while clicking though different channels on his TV.

Kyle let out a groan of annoyance. He had kind of been hoping that seeing Stan would have kept Cartman away for at least a little longer. Stan wasn’t so bad whenever he appeared, but Cartman always made it his mission to make Kyle look insane to his parents. He couldn’t remember the last time he was able to have a normal conversation without either of his parents sounding condescending towards him.

“God, damn it,” Kyle hissed, making Cartman jump. “Not you again.”

“Hey Kahl!” Cartman greeted, a big stupid grin slowly spreading onto his face. “It’s about time you got home! I’ve been feeling so lonely without you!”

Kyle rolled his eyes as he closed his door. “Why do you keep coming around here anyway?” he asked with a growl to his voice. “All you do is make my life miserable.”

“Why do you think I keep coming back here?” Cartman replied. “Seeing you miserable brings me joy.” Kyle narrowed his eyes at him, but didn’t respond. Instead, he threw his backpack to the floor and went over to snatch the remote out of Cartman’s hands.

“You know, there are a lot of other people you could be making miserable besides me,” Kyle pointed out as he turned the TV off.

“Yeah, but none of them can see me, so it’s not nearly as fun,” the fat demon replied, the big, stupid grin still on his face. “Besides, you should be grateful. You’d be living a dull and boring life if I weren’t around!”

“Oh yeah, I’m so grateful,” Kyle said sarcastically. “My parents think I’m nuts and my friends hardly want to hang out when you’re around because I keep talking to myself. You and Stan make my life sooo interesting.”

Cartman’s expression darkened when Kyle mentioned the angel’s name, but the red head had his back turned to him and didn’t notice. That stupid angel! What made him think that he was so great? That loser was always about rules, and he really didn’t like how Stan seemed to follow Kyle around all the time.

“Does Stan show up here often?” Cartman asked, trying to make his voice sound casual as Kyle pulled out a hand vacuum from his closet and started cleaning up Cartman’s mess.

“About as much as you do,” Kyle replied, rolling his eyes. “I’m surprised you two don’t run into each other more often with the amount of times you both keep showing up here.” Cartman growled softly under his breath, but it was drowned out by the vacuum. “But at least Stan doesn’t try and make me look insane to everyone.”

“What does that asshole do when he’s here anyway?” Cartman asked, frowning at him.

“That’s not really your business,” Kyle responded.

Cartman grumbled something under his breath before crumbling up the chip bag he was holding and tossing it at the wall, missing the trashcan by miles. As Kyle turned to glared at him, he yawned and stretched, rising from the bed.

“Well, I’m out of food, so I guess I’ll be going now,” the demon stated. “I actually have a lot of important business down in the underworld, so I better get started on that.” As he passed him, he heard Kyle mutter “Yeah, right,” under his breath, but he ignored it. He was already making plans in his head. If Stan really did come here that often, then he could use this to his advantage. Stan was going to stay away from Kyle if he knew what was good for him. He would make sure of that.