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Nearly Missed

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Kylo drops his backpack on the floor of his old room. He’s surprised that Leia never had it redecorated when he left for college. The fact that all of his old posters still adorn the steel grey walls after his subsequent two year sojourn speaks volumes about her previously very vocal disapproval of his choice of decor. He wishes, really, that she had. After spending years trying to disconnect himself from his past, the familiarity of the room is jarring.

Especially because after two years of traveling the world to find himself, he's as lost as ever.

There is a knock on the door, and without Kylo answering, Leia walks through it.

“I didn't hear you come in,” she says. She looks at him softly, old outbursts forgotten. “It's good to have you back, Kylo.”

Good, she remembers the deal; him returning is conditional on no one calling him Ben.

“Hi, mom.”

He stands there staring at her, unsure of what to do. In his worn out hiking pants, faded black T-shirt, knitted flea market sweater around his waist, and unshaven face, he probably looks like a bum. What does Leia think about her son now, after he left in dramatic huff, only to return with his tail between his legs?

“Oh, come here,” she says.

Helplessly, he stumbles towards her. She embraces him immediately, her arms tight around his waist. Slowly, he lets his arms wrap around her, returning the embrace.

Leia is the one to break the hug. “You must be tired from your trip,” she says. “Armitage should turn up this afternoon. I'm sure you two will have plenty to talk about.”

“Hux?” Hux should be up to his ears in law school, if Kylo got his timing right.

“I think he prefers Armitage these days,” Leia says a little ruefully.

Kylo wants to ask about that, but he keeps it to himself. Leia leaves to continue her preparations for the next day, and Kylo heads straight for his ensuite, suddenly feeling the urge to clean himself up. He finds a two year old can of shaving gel and some unopened razors in the cabinet and quickly shaves before hitting the shower. After traveling with minimal supplies for so long, the salon-quality shampoo and conditioner feel luxurious, and he spends far longer under the blast of hot water than is reasonable. Afterwards, he's refreshed, as if the simple act of showering was enough to purge him of all the heavy emotions he dragged back with him.

He dresses in an old pair of black designer jeans and a plain black T-shirt, and waits for Hux. The last time they saw each other, Hux had showed up at his doorstep, soaking wet from the rain, in the middle of night. Kylo had been awake, packing for his flight to Shanghai. There was no particular reason to start there; it was the first city the travel agent suggested when he told them he wanted to go as far away as possible on a single flight. Kylo lent Hux a set of dry clothes that swallowed his narrow frame, then they stayed up talking all night. It felt like Hux had something important to say, but instead he sat quietly and listened to Kylo rant about all the reasons he had for quitting university and leaving the country. Kylo left him fast asleep on his bed the next morning, never having aired the biggest weight on his chest of all.

With nothing better to do, Kylo wanders downstairs. He doesn't even have a chance to look around before the doorbell rings. His heart suddenly starts to race. It could be any of the guests, he tells himself when he goes to the door.

Kylo opens the door, and there’s Hux with a small suitcase in tow. He looks different somehow, and Kylo realises it's because his hair isn't plastered to his head with a ton of gel.

“Hux,” Kylo says with a lump in his throat.

“Kylo,” Hux starts in his crisp accent.

They step towards each other a little hesitantly. Kylo wants to grab him and pull him into a hug to sate the ache in his heart, but stupidly holds his hand out instead. Hux gives him a brief funny look, but then takes his hand, shaking it. The contact feels electric.

“Hello, Armitage,” Leia calls out from behind Kylo, nearly making him jump out of his skin. “Come in!”

“Thank you,” Hux says.

Hux gives Kylo another funny look, and Kylo wonders what it's about until he realises he's in the way and steps to the side.

“Now, it's a full house this weekend, so I've put you in Kylo's room. I'm sure you two won't mind sharing.” Leia is smiling the kind of smile that makes Kylo feel like this is some kind of trap.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course it’s fine,” Kylo quickly says.

They head upstairs to his room. Hux is ahead of Kylo, lugging his tiny suitcases up the stairs.

“Are you just going to watch me struggle?” Hux teases.

“Gotta keep it like old times,” Kylo retorts, grinning. It’s typical Hux behaviour: he’d bite Kylo’s head off if Kylo offered to help, but then bitch at Kylo for doing nothing if he refrained.

Unfit as ever, Hux is puffed by the time they get to Kylo’s room. “Well, I suppose this will do, as long as you don’t hog all the territory,” Hux remarks, looking at the bed.

“You’re almost as tall as I am.”

Hux ignores this. He kicks his shoes off, some off-brand sneakers Kylo doesn’t recognise, and throws himself on the bed as if two years never went by. They could be in high school right now, killing time after school because Hux never wanted to be at home. Only Hux never looked this shaggy in his life. It only fully hits Kylo now -- the ungelled hair, stubble, sneakers instead of leather shoes, jeans instead of slacks, teal sweater fraying at the sleeves -- Hux is different.

“So is this what the kids at law school wear these days?” Kylo jokes, looking Hux up and down.

“I quit law school.”

The statement hits Kylo like a bomb. He wants to ask how and why. Hux is the most dedicated, driven person he knows. He was going to be a high-flying lawyer and inherit his father’s firm at a record young age. Something happened.

“Anyway, I want to hear all about your adventures,” Hux says, forcing away the solemn expression he wore a second ago with a smile. This is Hux’s code for if you ask a single fucking question I will leave right this very moment, so Kylo starts talking.

He tells Hux about Shanghai, and how he didn’t realise you needed a visa for anything more than a short stopover. Hux laughs at this, and Kylo feels his cheeks heat up over his stupidity, but he ignores it and carries on, talking about how he flew to Thailand next and spent a couple of months just walking places. He stayed in Chiang Mai for a while and eventually managed to get a visa for China, where he found a Shaolin Kung Fu school and stayed there for six months, living and training with monks.

Hux laughs. “You? Living in a monastery?”

Kylo shrugs. He doesn’t tell Hux how he almost got thrown out several times.

“And aren’t half of those Kung Fu schools just tourist traps?”

“There were a few other foreigners there.” It didn’t seem like a tourist trap; they didn’t have any advertising material suggesting they were just a money-making venture. “I think they were legit.”

Kylo keeps talking and talking. His last few months were in Europe, where he deliberately avoided places where people spoke English.

“And now you’re back,” Hux states.

Kylo doesn’t have the heart to say that he only means to stay for a few days. Where he’ll go next, he doesn’t know. He changes the subject by suggesting they grab some dinner. They raid the kitchen for food and settle for making sandwiches. Kylo isn’t sure where anyone else is; Luke, Rey, and Poe should be around, unless they are arriving in the morning. Han isn’t coming, but Leia urged Kylo to go visit him while he’s here. There isn’t anyone else that Kylo is, or was, particularly close to.

Before heading back up to his room, Kylo grabs a couple of beers. He changes into some old sweatpants he finds in the closet. Hux, meanwhile, wears grey satin pyjamas. Kylo smiles, well out of Hux’s field of vision. At least some things never change. They sit in Kylo’s bed, propped up with pillows and drinking beer, almost like their old sleepovers.

“Remember how we used to sneak your father’s rum in here?” Hux asks.

“He totally knew what was going on,” Kylo says. In retrospect, adding rum to half-filled bottles of coke so they could pretend they were just drinking soda was the first trick in the book.

“Didn’t seem to bother him,” Hux says, taking a swig from the beer bottle.

“Leia would’ve killed us.”

“Good thing she was hardly around,” Hux smirks.

The comment stings, though Hux probably didn’t mean it that way. Kylo suddenly doesn’t want to talk about this anymore. “So what’s everyone else been up to?”

“Poe is working for your mother, but you know that already,” Hux says. “He seems to have outgrown prank calling people, at least as far as I’m aware. Phasma is still in the UK, but we talk often. Mitaka claims he wants to do an MBA, but they’re going to eat him alive.”

Kylo laughs. Dopheld Mitaka as a cut-throat business mogul? “He should be a kindergarten teacher.”

“That’s what I told him!”

Curiosity over what the hell Hux is doing with himself these days prickles at Kylo, but if he asks, Hux will probably close off, so instead he says, “Remember that science project we were assigned in freshman year?”

“The space station? How could I not!” Hux exclaims. “You were insufferable!”

Me? You turned a research station into some kind of doomsday device.”

Hux scoffs. “If you’ll recall the parameters of the assignment, the purpose of the space station was not specified. Besides, Starkiller was a stroke of genius.”

“When the teacher suggested solar power, she didn’t mean destroy the fucking sun.”

Kylo remembers how furious Hux was when they failed the actual science part of the science project, and how he blamed Kylo for not covering enough of the research.

“I never wanted to speak to you again after that was over,” Hux says. As soon as they finished their presentation, they promptly sat on opposite ends of the classroom and pointedly didn’t look at each one another.

“And yet you came crawling back to me with some excuse.”

“I accidentally left my sweater at your house.” In this very room, in fact. “It was a perfectly legitimate reason.”

They probably never would have been friends if it wasn’t for that dumb project; Hux had his group of prim and proper preppy groupies, and Kylo wouldn’t have been caught dead hanging out with one of them.

Kylo doesn’t know when he fell asleep. It’s morning when he wakes. Hux is cosily tucked into his side of the bed. He looks so content like this, with his usual tension gone. Kylo gets the sudden urge to run his finger over Hux’s cheek and feel the stubble, but he forces himself out of bed instead. The last thing he needs is Hux waking up while Kylo is creeping on him.

He heads straight for the shower. He’s not sure when Hux is leaving, so this might be one of the few times he has any privacy. It’s nearly impossible not to think of Hux in the next room when Kylo reaches down to wrap his hand around his achingly hard dick. Hux might be hard when he wakes up, too. Kylo imagines a universe where he could roll over in bed and Hux’s hands would be on him rather than his own. He comes embarassingly quickly thinking about Hux jerking him off under the bed covers.

Now that the most pressing concern is out of the way, Kylo quickly shaves in the shower, washes his hair, soaps down, and rinses off. He’s about to leave the bathroom when it occurs to him that he should probably brush his teeth, rather than subject Hux to morning breath. Feeling fresh, Kylo wraps his towel around his waist and steps out of the bathroom.

Hux is awake and staring at his phone when Kylo comes out. He looks up at Kylo, then looks down Kylo’s body and back up.

Did that just happen? Did Hux just check him out? Kylo must be imagining things.

“Morning,” Kylo says, breaking the silence.

Hux snaps out of whatever daze he’s in and mumbles “morning” back.

“Shower’s free,” Kylo says.

“I need coffee,” Hux says in return. He stumbles out of bed in his pyjamas, padding across the room in bare feet. Kylo catches himself staring at Hux’s toes, and quickly looks away.

“I’ll get you some.”

“Thanks.” The bathroom door clicks shut behind Hux. Kylo quickly gets dressed and heads downstairs.

This time, the kitchen isn’t empty.

“Long time, no see.” It’s Poe, sitting at the breakfast bar, and he has someone with him.

“Hey,” is all Kylo manages.

“This is Finn,” Poe says, introducing his friend. “He’s my boyfriend. Finn, this is Kylo.”

Kylo is supremely glad that Poe didn’t call him Ben. Maybe with all his time away, people learned. “Nice to meet you,” Kylo says, shaking Finn’s hand.

“Coming to the brunch?” Poe asks.

Kylo was under the impression that the brunch was for immediate family only. Poe’s status must have gone up while he was away. “Yeah,” Kylo says. He switches on the espresso machine and gets a coffee pod out for Hux. No sugar, of course. If Hux still has the same tastes, it’s black coffee in the morning and bitter tea in the afternoon.

“How’s Armie doing?”

Again with using Hux’s first name. He’s about to snap at Poe to correct him, but them remembers what Leia said about Hux preferring Armitage these days, so he lets it go. “He’s fine. Needs his coffee.”

“You guys catch up okay?” Poe seems to be digging at something, like there is some joke hidden behind this whole affair.

“Yeah, why?”

Poe shakes his head. “Nothing, just wondering.”

The light on the espresso machine switches on, indicating it’s ready, and Kylo pops the coffee pod in and grabs a cup. As soon as it’s done, he heads back upstairs, avoiding any more awkward conversation. All in all, it was passable, and Kylo didn’t want to spoil anything by getting dragged into an argument.

Hux is out of the shower, clean-shaven and dressed when Kylo gets back to his room.

“Here you are, sir,” Kylo says mockingly. Hux rolls his eyes, but takes the cup and downs the contents in a few gulps.

“Is this brunch formal?” Hux asks.

Kylo shrugs. He assumes not. They’re just going out to a casual restaurant, not anywhere that has a dress code that he’s aware of. “I’m going like this.” The same jeans as yesterday, and a shirt without any holes in it, and a light jacket.

“I’ll blame you if I turn out to be underdressed,” Hux says.

They catch a ride with Poe and Finn in Leia’s car.

Brunch is indeed informal. Leia is there already, with Luke sitting by her side, and Rey, now fully absorbed into the family, on the other side of Luke. Amilyn is there, too. Kylo didn’t ask earlier, but it seems that they are still an item.

By some miracle, no one calls him Ben during the greetings. Not even Luke or Rey.

Leia starts making polite small talk at Hux, asking him about how his mother is doing. Hux answers, saying she’s doing fine and that the bakery is busier than ever, and Kylo’s brain does a series of staggering backflips trying to make sense of this until he catches on that Leia isn’t talking about Maratelle. Hux hasn’t spoken to his real mother in years. She was supposedly a nobody, some kitchen woman who didn’t give a shit about Hux. Hux saw her last when he was four years old, when he moved to the United States with his father.

No one else at the table seems thrown by this revelation. They continue to chat while Kylo silently picks at his food. Hux laughs with them, more relaxed than Kylo had ever seen him before he left. What the hell happened while Kylo was away?

They return home, overly full from the meal. Kylo waits until they are in his room with the door closed before opening his mouth to confront Hux.

Hux preempts him. “My father threw me out,” he says coldly. “The night before you left, when I came over.”

“Shit.” Kylo feels his legs almost give out, but he stays standing, facing Hux. “Hux, why didn’t you tell me?”

“You were about to leave on your big adventure,” Hux says. His voice is soft now. “I didn’t want to ruin it for you.”

Ruin it?” Kylo is mad now. He knew something was going on that night, but he had been so absorbed in his own bullshit that he completely missed the real trouble that Hux was in. “How the fuck would that ruin it? I was running away from my fucking problems, Hux, not going on a goddamn vacation!”

Hux averts his eyes, staring at the floor. Everything makes sense now -- the clothes, dropping out of school -- Kylo was so stupid not to make the connection. He wants to put his fist through the wall.

“Are you okay?” Kylo blurts out, consciously swallowing up his own anger so he can focus of Hux. “What are you doing with yourself now?”

With a soft laugh, Hux says, “Don’t worry, Kylo. I’m fine. Really.”

He absolutely fails being reassuring. “I told you about my whole stupid trip, so you owe me an explanation.” Kylo crosses his arms. He means it. He’ll make a scene, if he has to.

“Brendol threw me out and wrote me out of any inheritance. Your mother very kindly allowed me to stay in your room for a few weeks. I took out a loan to continue studying, but realised that I hated law school. In the meantime, I made contact with my mother. Did you know she’s living in the city? Been there for years. Brendol knew and didn’t say a damn word.”

Brendol was always a fucking prick. Kylo eventually shut up about how awful his well-meaning but ultimately disappointing parents were in comparison to some of the things that Hux let slip about his home life.

“Anyway, I moved in with her and help run the bakery. So that’s my life now,” Hux says, like he just finished telling a child a bedtime story. “Oh, and I took up painting,” he adds.

“Painting?” Of all the reactions that Kylo expected Hux to have in the event of his financial demise, working in a bakery and painting were nowhere near the top of the list.

Hux shrugs. “My therapist suggested art therapy. I rather enjoy it.”

Kylo can’t find any words. The Hux he knew would have been devastated by having his ambitions crushed. Maybe he had been devastated, and the Hux standing before Kylo now is a new, rebuilt Hux. Kylo left to rebuild himself and failed, while Hux remained behind and achieved that exact thing.

“I need to iron my suit,” Hux says, pointing to his suitcase.

“Laundry room,” Kylo responds automatically. Hux nods and he’s off.

Kylo sighs heavily and sits on his bed. He wonders what would have happened if Hux told him he got kicked out that night. The idea that he and Hux could have travelled somewhere together fills him with momentary elation before he reminds himself that one reason he left was to try to forget his feelings for Hux, which he failed spectacularly at doing, along with everything else.

He should probably start getting ready. They are meant to start with drinks at five, and Kylo doesn’t know the state of his suits. He drags himself to his feet and into his walk-in closet. The black suit is hanging away from the rest. Kylo assumes that Leia separated it out. He kicks off his jeans, right then and there in the closet, leaving them crumpled on the floor. He pulls on the dress pants and successfully buttons them. That’s a good start. He grabs a plain white dress shirt, one that used to be a little loose across the chest. It now fits perfectly. The jacket, on the other hand-- He’s bigger than he used to be. His strategy while backpacking was to join a gym chain, mainly so he could shower whenever he wanted, but he also made use of their facilities. It paid off.

There isn’t anything he can do about it now. The jacket looks acceptable with just a single button done up, so he goes with that.

Hux returns as Kylo is examining himself in the mirror. “Does this look okay?” he asks.

Hux stares at him for a long, long time, then nods. “You look good.”

“Not too tight?” Kylo asks, concerned about the top half.

“Is that the same suit you wore to our high school graduation?”

“I think so.”

“Well,” Hux coughs. “It certainly fits you better now. The long hair,” Hux gestures around his head, “looks good. Better than before.”

Does Hux mean that his ears are covered now? Or is it a genuine compliment?

“Well, I better get changed,” Hux declares. He goes to the side of the room which he seems to have claimed as his and starts to undress while Kylo pretends to look for a tie.

As much as Kylo feels guilty sneaking a look at Hux, it’s not any more than Hux saw of him earlier, and it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. Despite the rationalisation, Kylo feels too guilty to keep watching and really does start looking for a tie.

“I suppose I’m ready,” Hux says.

With the tall and slim proportions of a model, Hux was born to wear a suit. Kylo supposes that he doesn’t need to wear them often now.

They finish getting ready and then head downstairs to see if anything needs to be done. Leia hired a catering company, and they have already reconfigured the dining hall, so Hux and Kylo wander outside. It’s chilly, but not unbearably cold. They head out back until they find a few of the other guests staying at the house; Poe and Finn are there, as well as Luke and Rey. They hang out until drinks are being served, and then go inside.

Leia is there with her hair done up in braids and in a dark blue dress that Kylo hasn’t seen before. She greets guests as they arrive, some of them friends, some distant relatives from the Organa side, and some people who were only invited for political reasons. She’s good at those kinds of games. They acknowledge each other, and Kylo leaves her to it. Poe can meet-and-greet in his place.

“This is just like prom night,” Kylo says to Hux once the pre-dinner drinks are kicking off. “You and me drinking booze on the sidelines while everyone else has fun.”

Hux laughs, swirling the champagne in his glass before taking a sip. “I suppose so.”

“Do you miss this?” Kylo asks. Hux used to get dragged to these things all the time with Brendol and come back to Kylo with dirty gossip. Leia used to try to get Kylo involved in her political life, but gave up pretty quickly.

“I hated it. My father would always act so charming to everyone else there, and then berate me for slighting him in some way when we returned home.”

“I wish I could kill him,” Kylo says.

“I asked Phasma to bring back something venomous when she went to Australia for her gap year, but she didn’t follow through.”

“How unfortunate,” Kylo remarks.

By the time everyone is seated for dinner and various speeches commence, Kylo is ready to call it a night. Enough people have asked him about his travels for a lifetime. He and Hux sit as far away from everyone they know as possible, sharing a table with a foreign couple who Kylo doesn’t even recognise and some of Leia’s staff who Kylo hardly knows. To Kylo’s relief, Hux does most of the talking. As soon as they get through their desserts, Kylo quietly asks Hux if he minds if he leaves.

“I’ll go with you,” Hux volunteers instantly. “We should say goodnight to your mother, though.”

Hux is right. Kylo tries not to draw attention to himself while they walk to Leia’s table, but it’s impossible. Everyone stares at him. He tries to smile politely.

“We’re going to head up,” he says to Leia.

“Kylo,” she says, gently taking a hold of his wrist. “It means a lot to me that you came.”

He doesn’t know what to say, so he says, “Happy birthday, mom.”

Leia smiles and lets him go.

Once they are back in the bedroom wing of the house and Kylo’s room, Kylo lets himself breathe a sigh of relief. He’s about to loosen his tie when Hux stops him.

“Wait,” Hux says. He puts down the glass of wine that he swiped from the party and walks up to Kylo, standing close. “You look good like this,” he blurts out, and it’s not the same as when he said it earlier in the afternoon.

Hux reaches up to trace the outline of Kylo’s tie, and Kylo’s eyes go wide.

“I mean-- Why don’t you put some music on? Like old times.”

Hux’s behaviour is deeply suspicious. Kylo knows for a fact that Hux hates his music. He puts on a Spotify radio station instead of his usual preferences. When he turns around after messing around with the phone dock, Hux is lying on his back on Kylo’s bed and the glass of wine is empty. Kylo joins him. This must be what Hux meant -- they did spend hours lying on this very bed, talking shit until dawn.

“So you must have had lots of hook-ups while you travelled,” Hux says, elbowing Kylo gently. “No strings attached flings, that sort of thing.”

It was exactly the opposite. “No.” The goal was to find his place in the world, separate from the influence of others. Forming attachments, no matter how brief, were not conducive to that.

“Nothing? Not even one?” Hux sounds genuinely shocked.

“I was on a serious journey of self-discovery.” In which he discovered precisely nothing. “How about you?”

Kylo almost doesn’t want to know, but maybe if Hux has someone, then it will be easier to stay out of his way. “Oh, a few here and there, but nothing serious.”

“In college? Or does your mother not care about you bringing women home.”

“After college, but I didn’t bring them to my mother. And not women.”

It’s as if all the air in Kylo’s lungs was suddenly punched out. “Did you just say--”

“Remember the night I showed up here, soaking wet to the bone?” Hux asks. He’s breathing heavily, agitated. Nervous. “You know why he kicked me out?”

“Why?” Kylo’s voice weak and barely audible.

“He wanted me to date some woman. The daughter of a rival of his. Get close to her, find some bit of information. I wasn’t a son to him. I was just a tool at his disposal.” Hux sits up suddenly, his eyes wild. “You know what I said to him? I told him I was gay, right then and there. And you know what? You know what he said?” He’s raving now. Anyone in the hallway would be able to hear him. “That there were men I could get close to instead. What I wanted didn’t matter.”

“And then?” Kylo asks tentatively.

“I told him I already had someone and that he could get fucked. Then he threw me out.”

“Who?” Kylo doesn’t remember Hux dating anyone then.

Hux gives him a look, then lies back down.

Every possible scenario plays through Kylo’s head. Hux can’t possibly mean what Kylo hopes he means.

Hux mutters “fuck it” then without warning, he’s laying on top of Kylo. He tucks a loose curl of Kylo’s hair behind his ear, then closes his eyes and kisses Kylo softly on the lips. He mumbles an apology and moves to get off, but Kylo grabs him by the hips and crashes their lips together. Hux’s eyes fly open and he responds in kind, probing into Kylo's mouth with his tongue. The slippery intertwining of their tongues is so devilishly arousing that Kylo can't stop himself from grinding into Hux for relief.

“Oh,” Hux moans in surprise, then returns the grinding with gusto. His warm hands cup Kylo's cheeks while they kiss, and all the jumbled pieces of Kylo's life suddenly come together.

This is it. The thing he'd been missing his entire life.

“I don't want to go off in my suit,” Hux says breathlessly.

“Then take it off,” Kylo says without thinking.

Hux grins and sits up, straddling Kylo. He yanks his tie loose and pulls it over his head, flinging it over the edge of the bed. The jacket comes off next, tossed to the side like garbage. Hux takes his time with his shirt buttons. He undoes them slowly, eyeing Kylo deviously. When Kylo imagined Hux undressing for him, he thought he'd be shy and reserved, but the real Hux in front of him bites his bottom lip seductively while rolling his hips just enough to give Kylo some friction; he knows what he's doing and isn't afraid to show it, and Kylo can do nothing but stare in awe. Hux unmounts Kylo to shuck off his pants and pull off his socks, and then he’s back on top wearing nothing but a pair of black seamless briefs.

Kylo drinks him in like a sweet dessert wine, first sampling Hux’s almost naked body with the lightest touch of his fingertips on Hux’s pale thighs, then diving in and squeezing. He grabs Hux’s thighs, his ass, his waist. “Can I touch you?” he asks, looking to the hard bulge in Hux’s briefs.

“You better,” Hux warns, teasing.

Licking his lips, Kylo runs his hand up Hux’s thigh and inwards until his thumb rubs up the length of Hux’s hard cock, hidden beneath the underwear.

Hux gives a tiny grunt and rolls his hips into the touch. Kylo is just starting to warm up to this when Hux gently grabs his wrists and places them down at Kylo’s sides. Confused, Kylo looks up and is about to question why when Hux’s hands move to Kylo’s tie and gently start pulling the knot apart. Once he frees Kylo of the tie, he works his way down Kylo’s shirt, button by button until Kylo is bare chested, then runs his warm hands all the way back up Kylo’s body.

“You really are something,” Hux says after tracing his fingers along the outline of each and every one of Kylo’s abs.

“Been working out,” Kylo utters.

Hux smiles and climbs off again, this time to undo Kylo’s belt and drag his pants off. Kylo sits up to actually remove his shirt and jacket, and then it’s just both of them alone on the bed in their underwear. Kylo isn’t sure how to proceed; he’s fooled around before, but it never really went anywhere. Hux, with his “a few here and there” partners pushes Kylo back down again and gleefully climbs back on top.

They are skin on skin now, clumsily grinding their clothed erections against each other. Kylo gets lost in it -- the warmth of Hux’s body, the hard length of Hux’s cock against his own, Hux’s unexpectedly soft lips -- this is everything he wants. Everything. And Hux wants him too.

With no warning, Hux nibbles Kylo’s bottom lip. Cheeky shit, as usual. Kylo flips them over in retaliation. Hux lets out a startled yelp, then laughs as Kylo asserts his position on top of him. Ravenous, Kylo consumes him, hungrily mouthing at Hux’s lips, jawline, neck, shoulder. He nuzzles his nose into Hux’s hair, breathing in his scent.

“You really want this?” Hux whispers. He really means do you really want me, but Kylo knows admitting that level of vulnerability is an impossible ask from Hux.

“I’ve wanted you for so long, I can’t believe this is real.”

“Then why did you leave?”

Kylo can’t lie, not when he’s this close to Hux. “I wanted to forget you. To forget how I feel about you,” he adds. “Didn’t wanna ruin the friendship.”

“Idiot,” Hux chastises. “We nearly missed each other this time, did you know that? I didn’t know if I could stand to see you again.”

The thought that this moment is only a stroke of chance drives Kylo to embrace Hux tightly. He wraps his arms and legs around Hux fully. There’s no opportunity for escape.

The hug turns to more grinding and necking until Hux speaks again. “I wasn’t planning to fuck you when I came here,” Hux says between breaths.

“I know,” Kylo replies. “You thought--”

“Hush. This is about practicality, not sentimentality. I don’t suppose you have any lube?”

Kylo generally doesn’t make a habit of carrying it around. He shakes his head. It’s too late to go out and buy some, and it’s not like he can just ask to borrow any.


“Gimme a moment,” Kylo says. “I know where I can get some.” Hux stares at Kylo quizzically while he gets to his feet. “I’ll be right back.”

He sticks his head out of the doorway to make sure no one is out there before tip-toeing down the hall towards Poe’s room. Leia usually gives him the big room at the end of the hallway, so it’s a good bet that he’s staying there tonight. Quietly, he knocks on the door. There’s no answer, which is what he expected; Poe will be up partying until the last person leaves. Kylo turns the handle and opens the door. He switches on the light then scans the room. Poe’s orange motorcycle leathers are strewn over an armchair; he and Finn are definitely staying here. Kylo strides to one of the bedside tables and opens a drawer. He grins when he spots his target: a tube of KY Jelly and a box of condoms. He grabs the KY Jelly and takes two of the condoms, then leaves, making sure to turn off the light before closing the door.

“Mission accomplished,” Kylo declares, shutting his bedroom door behind him.

In Kylo's absence, Hux has thrown off the quilt that normally covers the bed and has crawled under the duvet. “Where did you find those?”

“I confiscated them.” Kylo winks and tosses the lube to Hux, who carefully examines it, then puts it down next to him.

“I’m not even going to ask.”

“Good,” Kylo grins. He gets into bed and burrows under the covers, spontaneously deciding to go down below. He’s not sure how Hux wants to do this, but either way, Kylo desperately needs to get to know his cock.

Hux’s cock got soft while Kylo was out hunting for lube, so Kylo nuzzles it and mouths at it through the fabric until it’s hard again. Unable to resist anymore, he swiftly pulls Hux’s underwear down. Hux’s dick looks great. Long and pink and uncut. Kylo takes it into his mouth immediately, getting it as deep as he can, which is actually pretty deep. Soon, the tip of his nose is touching Hux’s bright ginger pubes.

“Kylo!” Hux cries out, urgently tugging on Hux’s hair. “Kylo, you have to stop! I can’t take much more without--”

Kylo releases him and crawls back up over him. He plonks a wet, messy kiss on Hux’s lips.

“You have no fucking gag reflex,” Hux pants.

“Yeah, I know,” Kylo smiles. His hidden talent -- a stupid party trick performed on long, skinny vegetables. Until now.

“I can’t take any more of this,” Hux says again. “Either you fuck me, or I’m going to come here and now.”

“I’ll fuck you,” Kylo says.

“Good,” Hux says, then squirms underneath him until he fully rolls over, grinding his tiny ass against Kylo’s still clothed crotch.

Okay. So that’s what Hux wants. Kylo hooks his thumbs under his waistband and pushes his boxer-briefs down. Hux turns his head instantly, craning his neck to get a good look over his shoulder. His eyes widen in what Kylo interprets as awe.

“You’re big.”

Kylo’s chest swells more than it should at those words. “Can you take it?”

“I’m not a novice,” Hux exclaims defensively. “You know what to do, right?”

Kylo rolls his eyes and nods. He might not have ever had sex, but he’s not an idiot. He grabs the lube and squeezes some onto his fingers. Hux turns back around, resting his head on crossed arms, but keeping his ass in the air and knees spread for Kylo. Kylo spreads a little bit of lube on Hux’s cute little furled up hole, then slowly pushes a single finger in. Hux moans immediately and loudly. It drives Kylo fucking wild, and he reaches down to palm himself with his free hand while sliding his finger in and out of Hux’s hole. Soon, he adds a second finger, and Hux moans even louder.

“Kylo, I can’t-- I need--”

Kylo feels it too. He wants to sink himself into Hux, badly, but first he adds a third finger. Hux opens up for him nicely; he wasn’t lying about not being a novice.

“I need-- Kylo, please. Just--”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you,” Kylo says. He pulls his wet fingers out of Hux, then fumbles with a condom wrapper until he gets a condom loose. Working quickly, he squirts a drop of lube onto the head of his dick, then rolls the condom on, then squeezes more lube on top of it, and then he’s finally, finally ready.

Carefully, he lines himself up and slowly pushes in.

Hux cries out, and Kylo stops. “No, no, keep going! It’s just intense.”

Kylo continues, pushing further and further, feeling Hux envelop him fully. It’s good. It’s so, so good, and most importantly, it’s Hux. He collapses over Hux once he’s all the way in. Hux is the one to move first, pushing back against Kylo to encourage him to thrust.

“Kylo, touch me. Touch my cock. I’m going to come.” Hux sounds desperate, and it’s driving Kylo into a frenzy. He fucks Hux harder, bracing his arms on either side of him for leverage. “Please, I need it. Kylo--”

“Shh, shh, I’m getting there,” Kylo reassures. He reaches down in the gap between Hux’s crotch and the mattress and wraps his hand around Hux’s cock.

Hux whimpers and whines while Kylo fucks into him. Kylo deliberately leaves his hand stationary at the base of Hux’s cock.

“Kylo,” Hux moans. “Kylo, please--”

When Kylo can’t hold back any more himself, he gives in to Hux and strokes him off hard and fast. He screams, loudly, and his ass clamps down on Kylo’s dick. Kylo’s eyes roll back and he lets out an almighty grunt as he shoots his load deep inside Hux.

They’re both gasping for breath when Kylo slips out. He pulls off the condom and does the responsible thing of actually getting up and dumping it in the garbage, then washes his hands before coming back to bed. He flops down next to Hux and scoops him into his arms like he’s a treasure that Kylo will never let go of.

“I need some air,” Hux gasps, so Kylo rolls over and reaches to turn off the light switch while he’s at it.

In the dark, they reshuffle and Hux ends up spooning Kylo. Kylo melts into it, letting Hux’s slow breaths lull him to sleep.

“I won’t let you go again,” Hux says, barely above a whisper.

Kylo’s head spins. Where would he go? Where would he want to go? Hux is here. Right here. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“What are you going to do?”

“No idea,” Kylo says, and for once he feels okay with that.

“Want to meet my mother? We could drive into the city tomorrow.”

This implies that Kylo will be driving. He assumes his car is still parked in the garage. “Sure,” he smiles. “Maybe we could go see my dad after.”

Hux squeezes him from behind and Kylo doesn’t remember ever feeling this safe. He closes his eyes, and within minutes, he’s asleep.

In the morning, Kylo wakes up to Hux snuggling up to his side and nudging him with his knee. “They’re having leftovers for breakfast downstairs,” Hux informs him. “Want to go? I need coffee.”

Of course Hux needs coffee. First, however, Kylo rolls over towards Hux and plants a big, sloppy kiss on his now prickly cheek.

“Disgusting,” Hux remarks, but there’s no vitriol behind it.

They don’t bother to shower; Kylo pulls on his sweatpants and a T-shirt, and Hux dresses in his pyjamas and a black dressing gown from Kylo’s wardrobe. They walk down to breakfast hand-in-hand. It feels ridiculous and glorious at the same time.

“Morning,” Kylo says cheerfully to Poe and Finn and Rey. They’re sitting at the big kitchen table, which is filled with a mountain of food. Rey greets him cheerfully, while Poe and Finn look a little worse for wear, mumbling a greeting through their hangovers.

Hux goes straight for the coffee machine while Kylo goes to grab plates and cutlery. They are just out of eyeshot of everyone at the table, so Kylo grabs Hux’s butt.

“Good morning,” Leia says, suddenly materialising in the room. Both Kylo and Hux nearly jump a foot into the air. She has a twinkle in her eye, which rings alarm bells in Kylo’s mind. “Don’t mind me,” she says, eyeing Kylo and smiling as she walks past them to get at one of the kitchen cabinets.

Kylo furrows his brow, trying to figure out her game.

“Don’t look at me like that, young man,” she says. “You and I both know it was about time.”

Normally, he would snap and get angry, but all of Kylo’s fight is gone from him. He looks to Hux, happily watching his coffee cup fill up, and feels his lips curl up into a smile.

“Yeah,” he says. “I guess it was.”