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English
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Part 1 of FantasyStuck
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Published:
2018-02-12
Completed:
2018-04-07
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34,448
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8/8
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Fish Scales and Bat Wings

Summary:

Eridan is merfolk, but able to walk on land disguised as a human. Roxy is the only human who knows his secret.
Dirk is a vampire, living among humanity in secret. Only a select few humans know, Roxy being one of them.

Eridan is really starting to feel attracted to that blond human friend of Roxy's with the spiky shades.
Dirk is becoming unable to deny his attraction to Roxy's nerdy human friend with the freckles and glasses.

Dating could be risky, but if they act human enough, maybe the other won't notice?

Roxy needs some popcorn.

Notes:

Ok, I did it. I wrote the fic. I'm posting it. Here.
It's not like, my next masterpiece but it's a romcom with two blundering dorks so, you'll probably get a laugh and aw out of it.

Thank you for your patience.

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1: Try it

Summary:

In which Eridan comes ashore, Dirk comes out into the sun, and they both meet on the beach at evening.

Notes:

Aside from mermaids, there are also these creatures called Merrows, who can turn human if they give a human their cap. I kind of edited that myth for Eridan.
Vampires can apparently catch fire really easily.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The first rays of dawn struck the surface of the water, making it glitter with the rising sun’s glow. Roxy sat on her usual rock, one that missed most of the spray from the tide. The area was nestled under a large cliff, and a small beach-house rested on a dock nearby. Together, the spot was hidden entirely from the rest of the beach. Roxy kicked at a rock and stared at her phone with a bored expression, bobbing her head along to the music in her earbuds. Every so often her eyes would flicker up at the waves and down again.

The surface of the water trembled, then split to reveal a pair of spiked horns gliding toward her. She lowered her phone to watch them approach. The horns rose to reveal a mass of soaked black hair with a violet fringe. Next to appear was a face with skin like a dolphin’s, smooth and dark gray, and gold eyes with violet irises. They blinked once at Roxy, then the creature rose further out of the water, pulling himself up halfway onto a flat stone. He resembled a man from the waist up, apart from the fins extending from the sides of his face, over his arms, and down his back, and the horns sprouting from his head. At the waist, his skin merged into a sea of violet-tinted silver scales, forming a single tail.

Roxy yawned and pulled one earbud out.

“Yo Eri, do you really gotta do this so early?”

“Oh, c’mon Rox.” Eridan pulled himself a little farther up onto the rock. One hand went up to run a pointed yellow fingernail down the slits across his neck. The slits twitched, adjusting to the lack of water flowing through them. “Ya know this is the best time. Almost no one’s around, also the ocean looks amazin right now.”

“Ye but,” Roxy popped her other earbud out, “once you’ve seen an ocean sunrise, you’ve seen ‘em all.”

“Pah.” Eridan flashed her a grimace, showing off a row of sharklike teeth. To almost anyone, it could have been interpreted quite easily as a clear threat, but by now, Roxy could recognize by the quickness of the movement and how his lips didn’t curl back that it was more a gesture of friendly disdain than anything serious. “You don’t appreciate the beauty a the ocean.” Eridan reached up to his neck again. He wore no clothes aside from a few gold bracelets and rings. Those and a single pendant around his neck. It was made of silver, delicate tendrils of metal swirling around themselves. Set in the middle was a large violet jewel that sparkled from the water. He looped the necklace over his head. It would probably sell for quite a pretty penny, but to him it was worth more than all the riches in the world, land and sea.

“Heads up.” He said before tossing it over to Roxy. Her hand snapped up to catch it with a practiced air. As soon as the pendant touched her skin he felt something shift in his chest. He took a slow breath and tried to relax himself for the process.

First, he felt his gills sealing up. He reminded himself to breathe with his lungs, taking slow, even breathes as the slits vanished. He could see the skin on his arms shifting, changing texture and going from gray to a soft bronze color. His fins and horns sunk and dissolved into his skin and his teeth flattened and rearranged themselves. In the slowest process, the scales of his tail shifted and merged with each other, changing into the same bronze skin, then splitting and the tip and moving up. Eridan sucked in a breath of air and dug his fingers into the stone, waiting for his legs to form. Pins and needles danced down the length as the nerves rearranged and the bones formed. After a few minutes, it was done. Eridan gingerly raised one leg, testing to make sure it had worked correctly.

“You alright?” Roxy asked as she checked to make sure the necklace was secure around her neck. Eridan nodded. The first time had been terrible, but by now he was used to it. Roxy tossed him a towel and he wrapped it around his waist, then carefully stood up. He moved slowly at first. Once, he had gotten too sure of himself right after transforming, and ended up stumbling and slashing one of his newly formed legs on one of the rocks. He still had the scar, even after changing back and forth several times.

Roxy hopped over and helped him maneuver over the rocks until they made it over to the steps leading to the beach house. Eridan had bought it with money from selling fish and jewels he found in the ocean, and gotten it fixed up to suit his needs. There was a hatch that led straight to the ocean, nestled in the corner of a cozy living room that, for the most part, seemed to belong to a typical human, albeit a human with a very strong taste in nautical-themed decorations.

Eridan headed straight for the shower while Roxy crashed onto the couch. He turned the water on and sighed. Hanging out near thermal vents had its perks, but he couldn’t control the temperature and stream like a shower could. He supposed it was one of the things humans had gotten pretty right in terms of invention.

First, he scrubbed the salt off his body using some lavender-scented soap, then he shampooed, shampooed, moisturized, and conditioned his hair to make it soft and fluffy to the touch. Once out of the shower, he blow-dried and styled his hair, then headed into his bedroom.

He dug through the clothes in his closet, comparing one, then another. It had felt pretty hot out. He lingered on a long-sleeved blue blouse before finally choosing a lilac shirt, which he matched with a knee-length pink skirt. Even with legs, pants felt weird to him.

Once dressed, he returned to the bathroom to restyle his hair because it had gotten messed up a bit, then dug through his make-up. Something simple today? Subtle. Subtle but impressive. He wiped on a bit of eye-liner and some lip-gloss, then leaned back to admire himself in the mirror.

…Or would he look better with the blue blouse?

He only changed his mind twice more, and restyled his hair three times more, before returning to Roxy in the living room. She was snoring peacefully. Eridan’s mouth twitched and he poked her cheek. She blinked and glanced up at him.

“Damn Eri, you look hella.”

“Thanks.”

She sat up and checked her phone.

“Took yer time today, huh?” She shot him a sly glance. “Would that have aaaaaanythin to do with who we’re meeting for brunch today?”

“Wha-no.” He sputtered and shook his head. “What if I just wanna look nice for my own self? Huh?” Roxy snickered.

“Eri you always look nice, but today you look speeeecial-” She leaned back against him as she said the word. “-nice.” He huffed and nudged her off.

“Well maybe I just wanted to look ‘speeeeecial’ nice today.”

“Uh huh.”

Eridan turned away from her knowing look. He could feel a dusting of warmth rising on his cheeks.

“Whatever. We’re meetin him at ten, right?”

 

000

 

Dawn was just starting to creep into the sky as Dirk made it back to his apartment. The growing sunlight prickled his skin as he leapt across the rooftops, finally landing on the fire escape outside his window. He pushed the window up and slipped inside, closing it and the curtains behind him. He sighed and checked the time. 6:12am.

“Dude.” He looked up to find Dave leaning on the kitchen counter, a mug in one hand. “You trying to get a tan or something? Stop scaring the shit out of me.”

“Sorry.” Dirk rubbed the back of his neck, hoping it hadn’t burned. A spicy-tart scent hit his nose. Dave was drinking hot apple cider, with a bit of cinnamon and honey. “I’ll be more careful tonight.”

Dave glanced over at the clock on the wall. “Aren’t you meeting Roxy and her grumpy friend in like a couple hours?”

“3 hours, 48 minutes,” Dirk corrected him as he walked over to the couch. He crashed down across it, falling naturally into a comfortable position. “Gonna crash here. You mind?”

“Your bed is twenty feet from here.”

“Twenty-five,” Dirk rolled over to shoot him a deadpan look, “I counted.”

“Whatever.” Dave shrugged one shoulder at him as he headed into his own room. “I’m turning in, so I don’t need it.”

“Cool.” Dirk set his phone alarm before tossing it and his shades on the coffee table. He lay back, pillowing his arm under his head and closing his eyes.

And then his alarm was blaring and a sliver of bright sunlight was tracing its way across the living room. He groaned and rolled over to snatch his phone up. Alright, shower, get dressed, et cetera.

Dirk had known Roxy for about ten years now, and she had to be the closest that he had ever gotten to a human. Eridan was a friend of hers whom he had met a couple of years ago. At first Dirk had taken him to be a bit rough and grouchy, but as they had warmed up to each other Dirk found him to be intelligent, powerful, with a “give-no-fuck” attitude, and deeply caring of his friends (although he showed that in sometimes awkward ways.)

Eridan was, objectively, fairly attractive. He was also, as Roxy liked to point out to Dirk at least several times a week, single and bi.

These were facts and observations that ran through Dirk’s head as he showered and styled his hair. Another one bounced around in his head as well, one that frequently clashed with the others. Eridan most likely didn’t believe in vampires, much less would be keen on dating one.

This was just brunch, though.

Dirk pulled on a long-sleeved white shirt and jeans, then grabbed a tube of sunscreen. He was running low. Finding SPF: one-billion was kind of hard, so he tended to order it online in bulk. He made a mental note to place another order as he rubbed a generous amount onto every exposed bit of his almost paper-white skin. As a final touch, he put on a pair of pointed black shades. Everything taken care of, he texted Roxy to let her know he was on his way and headed out of his room.

He braced himself as he walked through the lobby toward the front door. Even with the sunscreen, the sunlight prickled his skin and set off a kind of reflex, telling his body he needed to get out, to dive back into the shadows. He forced it down and kept walking.

 

000

 

Eridan glared down at the ice cream parfait Roxy was presently digging into.

“It’s really gross that you eat that,” He commented, “Isn’t it like, the milk of a cow?” Roxy rolled her eyes, her spoon sticking out of her mouth. They had decided to sit outside since it was a nice day, but Roxy had insisted on sitting at the table in the shade, in addition to the umbrella each one had.

“And howzat any different than the meat?”

“It’s different!” Eridan protested, “Meat is…you’re supposed to eat it! Tons a animals are carnivores!” Roxy just shrugged.

“More for me.” She drummed her fingers on the table. “Dirk should be here soon.” She shot Eridan a wink, which made Eridan duck his head to look down at his own drink.

“It wouldn’t work between us, Rox.” He stirred the ice around with his straw. “I mean, even if he liked me back, I dunno about the whole…” He made a gesture to himself. “Thing.” Roxy snort.

“Eri, trust me, he’d be cool with it.”

“You don’t get it, Rox.” Eridan flicked his hand at her. “This is somethin I gotta be really cautious about. Don’t wanna end up dead or on a table, or both, ya know?”

“Ye, ye…” Roxy sighed and propped her chin up in her hand, then her eyes lit up. “Yo there he is!” She got up to wave Dirk over. Eridan twisted around in his chair to look.

It was easy to pick Dirk out in the crowd. He was taller than most, with broad shoulders and powerfully built arms. His signature pointed shades stood out against his pale skin and blond hair, impeccably styled as always. Eridan watched the muscles move under his shirt as he walked toward him. Even weaving through the crowd, his steps were so incredibly graceful, they just flowed into each other so he glided more than walked.

Dirk came to a stop and looked first at Roxy, then Eridan. He raised one hand in greeting.

“Hey.” Eridan bobbed his head in return while Roxy flashed him a peace sign. Dirk took a seat next to Roxy in the shadiest part of the table, then cocked an eyebrow at Roxy’s parfait. “Bit of a sugary choice for brunch, Roxy.”

“D-irk Stri-der!” Roxy jabbed her spoon at him. “You do not comment on a lady’s choice in food!”

“Alright,” Dirk raised his hands in surrender and shook his head. “Alright, when your teeth rot out don’t come crying to me.” Roxy chuckled and swatted him on the back.

“I ordered you your usual.” She said with an airy wave. A waiter came by a minute later with the food. A tuna sandwich for Eridan, a grilled cheese for Roxy, and a sausage and egg breakfast for Dirk with a fruit cup.

Eridan flicked the bread off his sandwich with his fork before digging into the tuna directly. Roxy had assured him that this could pass for simple eccentrics. He liked this place because they didn’t go heavy on the mayonnaise, and he could actually taste the fish for a change. He took a sip of water to wash down the bite. Human cuisine had its boons, but they seemed to hate the idea of enjoying things in their authentic tastes.

“Is that shirt new?”

Eridan jumped and looked up. Dirk watched him though his shades, his fork lifted halfway up.

“Huh, uh-” Eridan glanced down at himself. He had gone with lilac after all. “A little, yeah.”

“It looks nice.” Dirk commented. He nudged his eggs aside to spear another sausage. “Matches your eyes.” Eridan blushed and ducked his head, but not before catching Roxy’s look of absolute delight. His face felt like an underwater vent, ready to pop with heat, and he swallowed down the shrill squeak bubbling in his throat.

“Th-Thanks,” He muttered, then chanced a look back up at him. He couldn’t just leave it unanswered. “I mean…” He made a jerky gesture at Dirk. “It’d look good on you, too.” Roxy gagged into her drink while Dirk sat there, face blank. Eridan flushed bright red.

“Not like-!” He sputtered and began to wave his hands around, trying to backpedal. “I ain’t, not that I’m insinuating anythin! Just sayin, like, the color would look good, anythin would look good on ya, you’re so handsome, I mean-” He fell silent, face aflame. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds while Roxy crammed her napkin against her face, eyes watering.

“You could be a model,” Eridan finally finished.

“Thanks,” Dirk answered with a tone of astounding casualty.

Eridan slammed his hands down on the table, then slowly pushed himself up.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom!” He babbled before fleeing into the restaurant.

Roxy burst into laughter, smacking her palm down on the table. Dirk sighed and rubbed his fingers against his temple.

“Ohhhh my God!” Roxy gasped and clutched at her shaking ribs. “Dirk, Dirk for fuck’s sake you’re both smitten wi’ each other! ‘It matches your eyes??’”

“That wasn’t supposed to come out as a flirtation,” Dirk grunted, “It just, happened.”

“Smitten.”

“Roxy, it wouldn’t work.” Dirk drummed his fingers on the table and glanced over at the doorway Eridan has disappeared through. His voice dipped low. “You know why it wouldn’t work.”

“Dirk,” Roxy managed to sober up enough to give him a halfway serious expression, “Dirk, Dirk, Dirky-Dirk-Dirk, I’ve known Eri for, a while.” She smacked her fist down for dramatic effect. “And you can trust me, when I say I am completely, utterly completely cer-tain, that he would completely accept and be ok with it.” Dirk quirked an eyebrow at her.

“And you’re willing to stake my life on it?” He put an emphasis on the word “stake.” Roxy rolled her eyes.

“Holy shit, yes. I actually am. If you said it was ok, I could tell him-”

“No.” Dirk raised his hand. “Don’t.” Roxy sighed and shook her head.

“Honestly, Di-stri.” Roxy dug her spoon into her parfait. “At least give it a shot. If you don’t think it’ll work, you can drop it without ever tellin him.” She shot him an annoyed look. “He likes you. You like him. At least give it a shot.”

Dirk watched her take another bite of her ice cream. She swallowed, then gave him a quizzical glare.

“Well??”

“…It’s really gross that you eat that stuff.” He finally said. Roxy rolled her eyes and slumped back in her chair.

“Just eat your fruit cup, bat-boy.”

Eridan returned a few minutes later. He drained half his glass of water in one gulp and avoided looking Dirk in the eye. The meal went on for a bit in awkward silence, then Roxy brought up a new movie coming out. Eridan lit up and started talking about how it was supposed to be scientifically accurate and have an amazing discography. Dirk threw his own opinion in on the symbolism they’d be taking from the book, and what he hoped they wouldn’t leave out. Soon the table was once again relaxed and buzzing with friendly energy as the food was eaten.

“Alright,” Dirk pushed his plate away, cleaned of everything except the eggs, “I should head out. I’m starting to really bake in this sun.” Eridan blinked, then glanced down at his own arms.

“It’s uh, really that easy, huh?” The hesitance of his wording made him sound like it was half a rhetorical question, half not. Dirk shrugged and set his portion of the bill down.

“I’m more sensitive to it than most. I’ll catch you guys later.”

“Oh hey!” Roxy jerked up straight as he started to leave. “Almost forgot!” The sly look she shot Dirk indicated she probably hadn’t forgotten at all. “Jane’s havin a beach party this evenin! Startin at 8. You guys free?”

Evening. Dirk could do evening. “Sure,” He answered, then, because Roxy was glaring a hole in his face and, if he was honest with himself, he genuinely wanted to, he turned to Eridan. “How about you?” Eridan jerked up and blinked rapidly.

“Me? Uh,” Eridan glanced at Roxy, then back at Dirk and nodded vigorously. “Yeah! Sure, s, sounds fun.”

“Cool,” Dirk nodded to him. “See you there.” And with that, he turned and left, walking quickly down the street and disappearing around a corner.

Eridan made a sound like a pressurized tea-kettle and his head sunk down to smack against the table.

“Why’d he ask me?!” He whispered. “Rox, why’d he, why’d he look at me and ask!?”

“Because he wants to see you there!” Roxy smacked him gently on the head. “Doy!”

“Oh shit, shit, Rox what am I gonna wear?? What should I say??”

“Shh, you got this Eri.”

“But what if I-”

“No.”

“What if he-”

“Nope.”

“What if-”

“Up-up-up!” Roxy wagged her finger in his face. “C’mon, you’ve got this. I’ll help you pick out an outfit.” She flashed him a wink. “And it is a ‘beach party’ so maybe you could find an excuse to lose the shirt at some point?”

“Rox!” He gasped, “I can’t be so forward, I mean-” His eyes flickered to the side, “Unless you think he’d like, be impressed?”

“Lol.”

 

000

 

The day had faded into a pleasantly cool evening. Dirk stepped onto the beach. He had changed into a tank-top and cargo shorts. He still wore his shades, though more as a fashion statement than out of necessity now.

A large bonfire had been set up, and nearby were several tables stacked with snacks. A mellow tune was bouncing through the air, and Dirk followed it to a DJ table. Dave flashed him a thumbs-up before going back to work. Dirk returned the gesture, wondering if Jane was paying him, and if she was, if it was in money or baked goods.

There you are!” He turned to see Jane jogging toward him. “I was starting to worry you weren’t coming, buster!” She caught him up in a bone-crushing hug. “I mean, I would have tracked you down and dragged you out if you hadn’t.”

“C’mon Jane.” He patted her arm. “You know I like to show up fashionably late. I’d never miss an opportunity for a free sampling of your cooking.” He glanced over at the tables and noticed the red banners on them. “What’s the occasional anyways? Roxy didn’t fill me in, is it for your bakery?”

“You can bet your bottom dollar it is!” She chuckled and smacked him on the back. “Just a little stunt for some publicity.”

“A keen mastermind as always, Crocker.”

“Watch the guacamole though,” Her voice dropped, “It’s got garlic.” Dirk pressed a hand over his chest and heaved a dramatic sigh, as if he hadn’t been able to smell it from the edge of the beach, being blasted at him by the ocean air.

“Jane, how have I spent all these lonely centuries without you?” He looped an arm around her shoulder for emphasis. Jane chuckled and broke out of the hold.

“Hey now, buster, I think there’s somewhere here that deserves your cheesy, and genuine, flirting.” She nudged him around toward the ocean. Eridan was sitting away from the party, legs tucked up and watching the sun set. Jane shot Dirk a wink.

“Go get’m, tiger.” She whispered, then glided off to attend to the rest of the party.

Dirk stood on his own for a few minutes, hands dug into his pockets. Eridan stared out at the waves, unmoving. He only took his eyes off the water once to glance at Roxy when she shrieked. Dirk did too and, finding her laughing, turned back to Eridan. He had already returned to watching the ocean.

Dirk may have watched him for an abnormally long time, because the last remaining rays of the sun sank into the water as he did. He may also have been abnormally focused on it, because he didn’t hear anyone sneaking up on him until arms had looped up under his and yanked them back into a hold.

“Ahoy there, dastard of the night!” The grip pulled back farther, trying to pull him off his feet. “Let your guard down, did you? Not wise, with the moon waxing full in a few days.” Dirk sighed and reached back, grabbing his captor by the back of the shirt before jerking forward and hurling him over his head, making the smallish man hit the sand on his back and knocking the wind out of him.

“Jake.” Dirk crossed his arms to look down at him. “Sup?” Jake chuckled weakly and rolled over, trying to get his air back.

“Guess you’re still as spry as usual, lack of focus notwithstanding.” Dirk scowled as he helped Jake to his feet. His senses were going off again like a fire alarm. He could smell Jake’s blood under his skin, the trace of werewolf that it carried. Dirk glanced up at the sky. The full moon would be in a few days, which explained why Jake was wearing gloves and a cap over his head. He would already be showing signs.

“I heard through the grapevine,” Jake’s tone turned mischievous, “that you’re off pursuing a certain bloke that’s got your fancy.” Dirk quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Is that what the grapevine said exactly?” Jake chuckled and rubbed the back of his head.

“Well-”

“Jake!” Jade popped up beside her brother, holding a chicken skewer in each hand. “You have to try these! They’re amazing!” She flashed Dirk a grin, showing off noticeably sharp teeth. She also had a hat and gloves on in the summer weather. “Hey Dirk! Enjoying the party?”

Dirk nodded as he took a couple of casual steps back. Jade was a very nice young woman. He liked her, she liked him, they were on good terms these days, but the first time they had met she had punched three teeth out of his mouth and nearly ripped his throat out.

She’d probably forgotten about that, and Dirk…for the most part kept it out of his mind.

“Anyways! Enough dawdling over here, chap!” Jake gave him a hard smack on the back. “Your quarry awaits! Turn up those Strider charms.”

“Quarry?” Dirk let him get shoved a few feet toward Eridan. “Just so we’re clear, I’m not planning to eat him.” Jake laughed.

“Yes, I don’t think Miss Lalonde would have been so pleased to share the news, then. Anyways, giddyup!” He gave him a final push before he and Jade went running back to the fire. Dirk sighed, then turned his gaze back to Eridan. He straightened his shirt, then began to walk toward him.

Eridan had changed for the evening. He was now wearing a fuller skirt, and a silk scarf was wrapped around his neck. A plate of chicken scraps sat beside him.

His head snapped up at Dirk’s approach, and he sat a little straighter.

“Dirk-!” He started, then coughed, “Uh, hey.”

“Hey.” Dirk settled down next to him. “Enjoying the party?”

“Uh, yeah.” Eridan glanced over his shoulder at the fire. “Pretty lively. That’s your brother doin the music, right?”

“Yeah, that’s Dave.”

“Resemblance is uncanny.”

“Thanks.” Dirk glanced down at the plate. “How’s the chicken?”

“It’s good.” Eridan bumped the plate with his hand. “I mean, I usually prefer fish, but Jane could make saltwater taste like a masterpiece.” Dirk nodded in agreement. Eridan had a smattering of freckles across his face, and Dirk couldn’t help tracing them with his eyes, counting them up until he lost them behind Eridan’s scarf. He wondered if they went all the way down to his shoulders.

Eridan squirmed a bit, then jerked his head up.

“Do you want some?” He blurted out. Dirk blinked.

“Huh?”

“Chicken. You can, have some, if you want?” Eridan nudged the plate toward him. “I uh-” He pointed to one piece. “I haven’t touched this piece yet, promise.”

“…Alright.” Dirk took the piece and brought it to his mouth, keeping an eye on Eridan in the meantime. He looked, adorably embarrassed. Dirk slipped it into his mouth, chewed, then swallowed.

“It’s good.” He said. Eridan nodded vigorously. Dirk turned to look over at the ocean. “Were you watching the sunset?”

“No, well, uh, kinda.” Eridan looked out at the water as well. “I was mostly watchin the ocean, and the colors from the light.”

“You’re really into the ocean, right?” Dirk asked, and Eridan stiffened. Awkward question? Dirk hurried on. “You live near it, right? And you’ve mentioned worrying about pollution?” “Mentioned” was a bit of an underestimate. Dirk had been privy to several rants about Eridan’s opinion on ocean pollution and climate change. One of them had ended with genuine plans to assassinate key members of oil businesses, until Roxy talked him out of it.

Either way, Eridan seemed to relax.

“Yeah, I guess I just,” He shrugged, “really like the ocean? It’s uh, important to me, if that makes any sense.” Dirk nodded in encouragement, and Eridan continued, talking faster as excitement started to spark in his eyes.

“It’s just, amazin. The stuff that’s in there, I don’t think you…I don’t think any human could every understand everything in there. It’s…” His eyes clouded over as he seemed to lose himself into his mind. “It’s beautiful,” He murmured, raising his hands up as if wanting to reach out to it, “It’s beautiful and powerful and…and incredible.” His hands dropped down into his lap. “Humans are never gonna understand how incredible it is. They can’t conquer it. They’ll never be stronger than it.”

“Probably not,” Dirk answered, “Me, I think I’ll just be satisfied being stronger than any shark coming my way.” Eridan blinked, then burst into laughter. It was a musical, tinkling sound, like seashells clattering together. Dirk’s fingers curled into his palms and he decided at that moment that yes, fuck repercussions, he wanted to try this.

“You have a nice laugh,” He told Eridan once he had stopped. Eridan flushed and looked away, but not before Dirk saw a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Thanks.”

The music behind them changed, moving into a slow dance. Dirk twisted around to shoot Dave a suspicious look. Dave just answered with another thumbs-up. Dirk rolled his eyes before turning back to Eridan.

“Do you know this song?” It wasn’t popular, and a little old, which is why Dirk was surprised when Eridan nodded.

Tombs and Krypton. It’s not bad.”

“Into music?” Dirk guessed. Eridan nodded.

“A bit.”

“In that case,” Dirk got to his feet, then offered a hand to Eridan, “Care to dance?” Eridan looked at the hand in confusion, then his face bloomed into an expression of shock and uncertainty.

“Oh, uh, I-” He looked down at his legs. “I ain’t, so good at dancin.”

“I’ll work you through it.” Dirk pulled Eridan to his feet. “It’ll be pretty slow.” Eridan still looked nervous, but he clasped Dirk’s hand and let Dirk maneuver his grip into the right position.

“First, put your feet like this,” Dirk kept his tone soothing as he showed Eridan which way to move. One hand held Eridan’s while the other was clasped around his waist.

Eridan’s hand, to Dirk’s surprise, was cold. It wasn’t often that Dirk found someone with a lower body temperature than his.

“Guess I fall within a human range after all.” He thought briefly before turning his attention on the dance. “So, like this-”

They began to step together in a simple pattern. Eridan was a bit jerky with his steps, but he had a natural sense of rhythm and soon fell into the beat of the music.

“You’re a natural.” Dirk commented, with a touch of genuine surprise. Eridan grinned and ducked his head.

“You’re a good teacher.”

“Alright, let’s try this:” Dirk stepped forward, then released his hold on Eridan’s waist to spin him around. Eridan followed along with the guidance and found himself stumbling back around and falling into Dirk’s chest. He flushed and looked up at Dirk, who winked back. Eridan laughed again, that clear beautiful laugh.

The song ended, but Eridan stayed standing against Dirk, his head nestled in his shoulder. Dirk could hear Eridan’s heartbeat, beating fast and pulsing blood through his veins. His blood smelled interesting, a genetic makeup Dirk couldn’t place.

He couldn’t help wondering how it tasted.

He nudged Eridan back and coughed into his sleeve. Eridan rocked back on his heels, still looking a little stunned from the dance.

“That was nice.” Eridan finally said. Dirk nodded.

“Yeah, you picked it up pretty fast.”

“It was fun.” Eridan brushed his hair back. “I’d never tried dancin before. It looked-” A heavy gust of wind cut him off as he yelped and clutched at his scarf. Dirk steadied his stance, and that’s when he heard Jake shout in alarm. He spun around to see Jake shrinking away from the light of the fire, covering his now bare head. His hat swirled over above Dirk’s head before sailing out over the ocean.

“Shit!” Dirk started after it but it was already out over the water, where it landed to bob in the waves.

“Aw Hell,” Eridan was watching it as well, “That’s probably gonna choke a shark or someth…uh,” He glanced at Jake. Roxy had run over and dumped her scarf over his head. “I mean, was that important to him?”

“Sort of.” Dirk moved toward Jake. Someone was approaching him to ask if he was alright, and he was enthusiastically waving them off and assuring them as he backed further away from the fire. Dirk’s eyes scanned for a better makeshift cover than a scarf. Jade was digging around in her bag, but didn’t seem to be coming up with anything.

“I’ll get it!” Eridan declared. Dirk spun around to face him. It was almost completely dark out now, and that hat was out past the surf.

“Uh, Eridan-”

“I got it,” Eridan insisted as he tugged off his scarf. He hesitated, then pulled his shirt up over his head and dropped his skirt, leaving him in just his underwear. Dirk couldn’t help but notice he had an impressive build of muscle on his arms and legs, tight and compressed into a lithe frame like a gymnast’s body.

Before Dirk realized it, Eridan was pushing his clothes into his arms, along with his glasses, then went sprinting forward to dive into the water.

“W…Wait!” Dirk started after him. “It’s too far out, Eridan-”

“Yo,” Roxy’s hand clapped down on his shoulder. “It’s fine, he’ll be fine.”

Dirk had little choice but to trust her on the matter. It was too dark for humans, but he could easily see Eridan by the light of the moon. To his surprise, Eridan cut through the water like a bullet. He was faster than some motorboats Dirk had seen. He made a beeline for the hat drifting in the waves, snatched it and went into a fluid turn back to shore.

In no time at all he was wading back onto the beach, the hat clutched in one hand. Jake and Jade ran over to meet him.

“Here.”  He didn’t even seem winded as he offered up the hat. “It’s soakin wet but a run through the-” Jake snatched it out of his hand and slapped it onto his head. “Uh-” Eridan stared at the water dripping down Jake’s face. “-Alright.”

“Thank you so much!” Jade caught him in a suffocating hug, making him choke and gasp. Jake offered a salute and a grateful grin.

“I’ll second that! You really helped me out there, chap!”

“N-No problem,” He muttered and pushed Jade back. “Just be more careful, alright? It’s windy out by the beach.”

“Righto!” Jake gave a nervous laugh and patted his hat. “Well uh, after that spot of excitement, I think I’ll be heading home now, thank you again, Eridan!”

Eridan grunted some answer as Jake and Jade left. Dirk offered him back his clothes once they were gone.

“That was some sick swimming,” He said. Eridan went stiff for a moment, then laughed and shook his head.

“What’re you talkin about, Strider? That’s totally average. You don’t gotta be layin the flattery on that thick.”

Dirk didn’t answer as Eridan busied himself tying his scarf. He couldn’t tell if Eridan was being serious or just extremely modest. Either way, Dirk made a mental reminder to step up his swimming skills. If that was even double the “normal” swimming skill of humans, he had some catching up to do.

“Surprise!” Jane appeared, holding two steaming paper cups. Roxy was behind her with a plate of sweets. “How about some hot cider after that show of heroics?”

The four of them moved over to the fire and settled down to chat. Dirk eyed the fire, but it didn’t look like any sparks were in danger of landing near him.

“So, was that hat special to Jake or somethin?” Eridan asked.

“Something like that,” Dirk answered. Eridan apparently wasn’t too curious, because he just shrugged and went back to his drink.

“I can’t believe you managed to get it back!” Jane commented. “It’s pitch dark out there!” She paused, then shot Dirk a look, cocking an eyebrow. Dirk shook his head very slightly. Ever since Jane had found him out, she had come to him about several others to ask if they were vampires. To his impressed surprise, she had been right a few times.

Eridan wasn’t, though. Dirk found himself kind of wishing he was. It could make courting him a lot easier. Then again, it could also have made it much harder, depending on his alliances-

He shook his head. No need to ruminate on it. Eridan was as human as Roxy and Jane were. The question was, how would he react to knowing Dirk wasn’t?

Dirk watched Eridan out of the corner of his eye behind his glasses. Eridan was sipping his drink carefully, wincing when it burnt his tongue.

Part of the reason Dirk didn’t want to tell Eridan was because he had seen what Eridan was capable of. It wasn’t every day someone gave Roxy a run for her money with firearms, and Dirk had learned from a barfight a year back that Eridan wasn’t just brutal in a fight, he was berserk and deadly. A drunk guy had thrown a glass at Roxy for rejecting him. What followed was something that involved an ambulance, two police cars, and Dirk, Roxy, and Jane having to manually pull Eridan off. What had startled Dirk wasn’t just the sheer rage Eridan had shown, it was that even as angry as he was, he wasn’t sloppy. He reliably went for the vitals and weak points with attacks from a style Dirk didn’t recognize. In addition, Eridan had sustained a bottle broken against his head, a kick in the stomach, a broken rib, and a split lip, but he hadn’t even seemed to notice until later when Jane and Roxy were fussing over him.

As much as Dirk admired these traits in Eridan, they were also what made him hesitant to risk telling him. He wondered whether, if it came down to it, Dirk would be able to fight him.

Right now though, they were drinking cider together, Roxy had just cracked a joke and Eridan was laughing again, and the fire was warm but not in danger of turning him into tinder.

They helped Jane clean up after the party. Dirk found himself folding the tables up with Eridan.

“So,” Dirk started as he clicked the table’s legs inward. Eridan looked up. “This was fun.” Eridan nodded and his mouth twitched into a smile. “So-” Dirk leaned in, “Would you like to do it again sometime?” Eridan gave him a blank look, then his eyes went wide.

“Y-Ya mean…” Eridan nearly dropped the table. “Like, a date?”

“Yeah, man.” Dirk nodded. Damn, how could Eridan go from badass to adorable in such a short time? “If you’re interested.”

“I- Yeah!” Eridan nodded so hard his glasses almost came off. “Yeah that, that’d be- yeah!”

“Cool.” Dirk offered a soft grin as he set the table with the others. “See you around then.”

“Yeah I-” Eridan returned the grin. “Sounds great.”

Dirk nodded goodbye and went striding off toward the street. Roxy sidled up to Eridan as he left, a wide smirk on her lips.

“Oh my God,” Eridan whispered, then his voice rose in volume. “Oh my God, oh my God, by the tides Rox he just asked me out!”

“He diiiiiid!” Roxy looped an arm around his neck. “See?? This is going great!”

“Eaaaghhh…” Eridan covered his face with his hands. “Shit, Rox, what’m I gonna wear?? Where do you think we’ll end up going?” Roxy chuckled.

“Probably dinner. Let him think of a good place.”

 

000

 

timeausTestified began pestering tipsyGnostalgic

 

TT: Roxy what’s a good restaurant I can take Eridan to that doesn’t have garlic?

TG: hmmmm

TG: how bout sushi? ;)

TG: You liek japanese food rite? and eri lieks fish. theres a good place down the street from the video game store

TT: You mean “Damara’s”?

TG: ye that one

TT: Sounds good.

TG: wear somethin nice ;3c

Notes:

For being part of a race known for their seduction, Eridan's not too great at this.

Both Eridan and Dirk CAN consume milk and other dairy products, if they want. Eridan just thinks it's gross. He'll eat cake but like, he's not gonna drink milk straight out of the bottle. That's gross.
Dirk mostly eats blood meat and fruit, as bats do. He's not a fan of bugs.