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Christmas Gift

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Finland felt stupider the closer he got to Sweden’s house. He wasn’t entirely sure how Denmark and Norway had convinced him that a penis cozy would be the perfect Christmas gift for the large Swede. It had made so much sense at the time. He couldn’t quite remember Norway’s reasoning beyond long cold winters and sensitive equipment exactly, but it had been very persuasive. Denmark’s enthusiasm over the idea and helpfulness with color selection when it came to actually shopping for it had only made the idea better somehow. But now that he had the knitted novelty in hand, gift wrapped and ready for Sweden, he doubted the wisdom behind the idea. In fact, the further away from the other Nordics’ influence, the more embarrassed he got. He was fairly certain they were playing a joke on him.

Before he knew it, he was at Sweden’s house. Finland would have turned and left without knocking to avoid further embarrassment, but the door opened. There was Sweden staring down at him. Finland fumbled his greeting, while he tried to hide the gift behind his back. In doing so, he only accomplished dropping the gift and blushing profusely.

Sweden was quicker than he was in picking up the gift. “This ‘fer me?”

Finland blushed impossibly more and nodded, finding that words failed him. He thought he was going to die on the spot when Sweden actually opened the gift right then and there.

Sweden examined the knitted item with confusion a few moments, until wide-eyed realization hit him. He quickly looked back and forth between the penis cozy and Finland until his nose started to bleed. Sweden quickly dragged Finland into the house, slamming the door behind them.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad gift after all, Finland thought.