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Longest Novel: Fall of the Republic

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Sheldon was staring right at his therapist, and the entire time he had been looking right at her, he was just trying to find something to say to make the whole thing seem just a bit better. Sheldon was really wanting to find something he would have said before this whole thing could have some together just a small bit. "So Sheldon, what are you feeling right now? You seem to be bothered by something." She said, and then Sheldon was just sighing for a while.

"Honestly, I am just trying to find some way to talk right now, and I just feel like no matter what I want to say, that there is no way that I will properly understand it for myself. I guess that maybe I am just being a bit problematic right now." Sheldon was saying, and then he was genuinely feeling like there was nothing else that he would say that would make it any better. "Do you feel like you can really help me out?" Sheldon asked, trying to really understand her.

"I feel like if for nothing else, talking to me about this might be able to help you out. I am feeling the look on your face, and I am seeing that even if you hate to admit it, that you are looking at least somewhat happy to be talking with somebody now." She said, while aware that saying anything else might be sounding like she was giving herself too much credit.

"I guess that you are right to some extent. I mean, talking to people right now, and just seeing what some people might want to say, and seeing if they are going to take me seriously, always helps me out. And so far, from the way you are looking at me, it does not seem like you are brushing me off too much." Sheldon said, hoping he would not eat those words.

"There is just something from the way that you talk, and the way that you just seem so lost and out of it, makes me aware deep down that no matter what you might want to say, you are not lying. I just wish that I was able to help you out better." She was saying, as if finally conceding the real issue to these sessions, as much as she hated it.

"Honestly, I am not even all that worried about it anymore. I am just feeling like talking to you, and just seeing how you can feel about this all, is honestly enough for me." Sheldon said, finally admitting that now the conversations were now just here for the sake of his own sanity, rather than trying to prove his point to her. Since he had relatively given up on this.

"So Sheldon, have you given up on trying to get people to understand you, or have you just given up on trying to get something out of these sessions?" After she was asking Sheldon this, that was when Sheldon was just feeling truly unsure of what he was able to even say. There was nothing he could say now.

"I just think that every single time I look at the evidence that was presented to me, and I see the evidence that is just hard to turn down, I feel like I am just making things a thousand times worse than if I would just leave things alone." Sheldon was just rambling, and he was aware that no matter what he was saying, she would never really get it at all.

"Sheldon, have you tried to talk with people in a more personal space about this?" Do you think that maybe if you talked with them a bit more, you might get to know what they feel?" After she had asked Sheldon this, that was when Sheldon was just genuinely feeling unsure of what he was going to tell her. He was always scared of what she was feeling about him on a constant basis.

"I think that if I tried to talk with a single person about this, they are either not going to believe me, or they are going to tell me that I am needing to fucking focus on what I have ahead of me. Nobody is going to fucking care what I believe, and I have more than accepted something like this. I just wish that I had some greater levels of courage though. But that is not happening." Sheldon said, feeling like he was needing to leave it alone now.

"If you do not try though, then you will never know if they are going to buy it or not. I mean, you should at least give them a chance." She was telling him, and he was aware of what she was trying to accomplish, and in the end, no matter what he was wanting to say or do, he was not really in the mood for her to be saying stuff like this. He was not in the mood for her to tell him how he was allowed to feel.

"I think that I know how my family feels about this. I wish that they were more open to this than I think they are. If they were, then everything would be fucking great. But that is just something that I feel like will never fucking happen, no matter how much I try." Sheldon was saying, and then he was looking right at her, feeling like no matter what he was saying, he was wishing to treat her with more respect. But the way she was acting like she knew his family in a way he didn't did bother him.

"Alright, if you are sure that this is the case, then I will leave it alone. I mean, this is really not going to be worth getting angry or creating a debate." She was saying, as if feeling like she truly had no desire to go on and ruin something that was going decently at this point, and for no real reason. She was feeling like she had finally started to break through to him, and did not want to make things even worse.

"Anyways, I know that us debating this is not really going to be getting to the main point, which I am sure you are just wanting to do right now... Do you want to start to tell me the story of what happens next?" She asked him, and then after this, Sheldon was slowly thinking about it, and he was slowly nodding, as if thinking that this was the only way to make things less hard for them.

"Yeah, I think that I might be ready for something like this. But only if you feel like you are wanting to do it." After Sheldon was saying this, he was looking right at her, and he was seeing her looking like she was just waiting for him to speak, and he was thinking that stalling this whole thing out was not going to be helping either of them out at all.

"I thnk that maybe we just need to fucking make some more progress here. I think we are both ready to keep this whole thing going, and that maybe over time, I just can sort of see what pieces I am missing. That is the only thing that I am absolutely certain of right now." Sheldon was telling her, as if feeling like no matter what he was going to say, this whole thing was going to be sort of coming out of this as a giant ass waste of time.

"How much closer do you feel like you have gotten with telling me your story?" She asked, and then Sheldon was shrugging, feeling like there was no way in hell he was going to be able to give a proper answer there. No matter what he was going to say, or how far he was getting, there was parts of him that felt like he was still never going to finish up any time soon.

"I feel like we are at the stuff that really shows the point of no return. I feel like every single day from this day forward, every single choice I make, the things were only getting worse and worse. I fucked up so badly, and you will see why I am saying that as we get on later with this." Sheldon was saying, and then he was staring at her, wishing that she was going to try and speak out, but also leave it alone.

"Have you ever gotten this far when talking with your previous therapists and offciers?" His therapist asked, and then he was shaking his head. While they technically made it chronologically further before, none of them ever listened to him this well, he never really did this good on the details, and he did not feel like he ever made any real progress before. So this was why those were so fucking different. She nodded, unsure of if she believed in that or not, but was feeling like if it was the truth, she needed to be taking it with a certain level of pride.

"Every time I even fucking tried to talk with somebody, they always shoot me down. They always treated me like I was wasting their time. They always told me to tell them the truth. I was telling them the truth. But they refused to even pretend to be seeing this. I was so fucking pissed at this." Sheldon admitted, thinking of how angry his previous therapists made him, and how much he was refusing to hide it.

"Well, those are in the past now, right? You are not too worried about the way that they feel, are you?" She asked him, hoping that the answer would be no, thinking that despite everything going on, and despite the fact that in all honesty, his anger seemed justified, she was hoping that he was not going to fall down over this

"Yeah, they are in the past now. Trust me, I do not even want to give them the time of day. I think that if I even thin about this any longer, they are going to be getting more attention than they ever deserved." Sheldon said, and then he was feeling like that was the last time he even wanted to be thinking about them at all. Once he was done with this, he had started to look at her for a bit.

"Do you feel like you will ever get enough people to believe in you when you try and tell them the truth? I mean, surely at least some people are willing to hear you out, right?" She asked him, and then Sheldon was thinking about this for a moment. He was hoping that she was not expecting him to seriously answer this question. It was all too much for him to really fucking handle.

"I mean, I think that getting people to believe me is entirely different from getting people to listen to me. I might be able to get some people to listen to me, and want to give my story a chance, but that does not mean that they actually believe in me. I think those are two different things." Sheldon told her, and then he was wondering how else he was going to speak here.

"I mean, I remember the disbelief that my friends were having the entire time, and more or less they were there the entire time, and they had witnessed every single fucking moment of this. They had witnessed what I was dealing with, and they were still acting like what I had been saying was fucking strange." Sheldon was saying, and then he was thinking that if he talked longer, it could start to bring her together.

"Well, they seem to be worried about you being obssessed with this. I mean, I would probably be as well. But unlike them, and maybe this is because of hindsight, but I do sort of see why you are this way." She said, and then Sheldon was slowly nodding, thinking about Riley once again, and thinking about how he should have just let it go.

"I think that as much as I hate to admit it, that I should have just left the whole thing with Riley alone. I mean, if I had done that, and if I had just accepted the stories for what they were, I might have been able to have a somewhat normal life. I can't believe that I am saying this right now, knowing that I tried really hard to find her, and make peace with what happened, but part of me feels like I just needed to leave it alone." Sheldon said, and then he was sighing for a moment.

"If I had accepted that Riley had died, or something like that, then I might have been able to have some form of happiness, and I might have been able to sort of put this whole thing behind me. I just think that if I had said that Riley was dead, and that I just needed to let it go, then I would have cried about it, and I would have moved on. Her being dead was almost much better than what could have happened." Sheldon was saying, trying his best to besounding neutral about this.

"Does Riley dying really make you feel like you would have been happier? I mean, from the way that you are looking at me, and the way that you are acting, I believe that you are saying the exact opposite of the truth." After his therapist was telling him this, she was feeling like there was something that she was getting close to him with. She was pushing him hard, and she was making him just try and pretend like he was listening to all of this.

"I don't know if it would have made things easier or not, but I like to pretend like it does. At least if it did make things easier, then I knew what I could have done to sort of make at least some peace with it all. But to be honest, I just wish that maybe we never moved to Wayside after all." Sheldon was saying, and then she was remembering the fact that he had actually moved there, and was not from there.

"If I had just stayed in Arkansas, I might have had a rough time going through school, but I would have gone through it, and Riley would have never gone missing, and I would have had a normal life, and I would never have lived in that fucking town, where things are just getting worse and worse over time." Sheldon shrugged, thinking that he was sounding normal, and sounding perfectly reasonable this entire time.

"Oh that makes sense. You wish that if you just stayed down there, and that had your father never gotten that promotion, then at least some form of sign of going back to normal would have come back again?" She asked, and then he was slowly nodding, thinking that while what he had said was not very realistic, it was still what he would have preferred.

"Yeah, exactly. I mean, I just thought that for a while, it was something that was not really related to the move. I mean, I guess that it all does not really matter at the end of the day anymore." Sheldon was saying, and then he wa slooking at his therapist once again, and this time, he was really feeling ready to be speaking with her now.

"I am really thinking that now that I am more ready to be speaking about this, if you are willing. Now that I started to express the way that I was feeling a bit better, I can do whatever it is that you want." Sheldon told her, and he was feeling like she was not going to listen to him too much. But he was needing to offer it to her.

"Yeah, we can do it, if you are truly ready for this." She said, and then Sheldon was nodding. He was in no mood to be hiding any longer, and he was in no mood to be wanting to pretend like nothing else was fucking mattering. He was then taking a long and deep breath, and now just thought about what he was going to say to continue the narrative in a interesting way.

"Well, the next part of the story happened after I heard the grinding noise when I was home, and I was just wondering what it could have been. I was listening very deeply to it, trying to get it." Sheldon was telling her, thinking that maybe she remembered, but he was wanting to just catch her up to speed once again.

"Yeah, and you were saying that ow that you heard the noise, you were planning on going to the next labyrinth party, because you felt like that party was going to give you at least some context to this whole thing going on in town..." She said, remembering what he had said, and she was feeling like they were able to pick up with this. Sheldon nodded, as if thinking that he was needing to stop being such a idealistic young man.

"I thought that maybe I could have been able to find out more clues with the party, and I was feeling like if for nothing else, going to the party might have been able to just put me in the right spot." Sheldon was saying, sort of feeling like when he mentioned why he was doing this, and how he could have gotten himself to think this way, in a way, he was appreciating the fact that at least he was trying, unlike the others, and he was always proud of himself on that regard.

...

So when I was hearing the noise, and was sincerely pissed at everything going on right now, and pissed at whoever made that fucking machine, I was just telling myself that this party was going to be important. I was needing to go there, and I was needing to make my point that I was not going to be taking no for an answer anymore.

I was standing up, and I was smoking my next cigarette, and I was thinking about what it was like if Todd and the others knew why I was fucking planning this. I was going to see if Harold was willing to actually talk with me. I was feeling like it was impossible to even imagine such a thing, but I was thinking that if I could get it work, everything would be fine. So I was walking down the street, just feeling confused and tired.

I knew that virtually all of my fucking friends were having no more patience for this, and I was aware that they were not going to be happy if they were aware of why I was doing this. But at the same time, I was just thinking that perhaps my friends were going to not even need to hear what I was doing. I was thinking that they needed to just not know the truth at all.

As I was walking to the front door of my house, my father called out to me. "Are you sure that enough time has passed that you can go out there again?" He asked, and I was feeling like it was a relatively valid question. But I was not wanting to give a proper answer, since doing that was going to admit that once again, I was doing something wrong.

"I am just going to hang out with my friends. I am not going to be doing anything crazy. To be honest, I am one with all of the crazy stuff for now. Don't want to be making things even worse." I said, and then I was looking at him, and I was wondering if he was going to actually buy what I had said. The look on his face showed that he was unsure of what to say to me.

"Sheldon, what type of party were you even planning on going to in the first place when you left?" He asked, and I was feeling like he was clearly just trying to find a proper discussion point now. "I mean, I guess that it is not my business. But I just want to make sure that you were not doing something dangerous." After he said that, I was sighing a bit longer.

"Just one with my classmates and stuff. I never really thought much on it. I just thought that it could be fun to see my classmates after the summer started." I was saying, thinking that I could just leave it all alone. I could be fine with saying this, but I was not needing to be saying anything else.

"I just think that I needed to have a chance to have some form of happiness this summer." I was shrugging, and then I was feeling like I could just leave it alone at this. I was not wanting to have any discussion on this now. So with this, I was looking at him, and I was wondering what he would say now.

"Alright, I was just kind of interested in seeing what you were doing. I mean, I just wanted to make sure that nothing was happening that was putting you in danger. Or at least not willingly..." He said, and I was seeing that from the look on his face, he was still not really looking like he was too hapy with this right now. So I was just remaining silent now.

"I never thought that something was going to happen here. I thought that I might be able to just stay safe now. I guess that maybe nothing will make any difference." I was placing my hand on the door, and I was just wanting to get this shit over with. I was tired of this, so I guess that I just needed to leave the whole story alone. I wanted to make it seem like nothing else even fucking mattered anymore. I was just wanting to go and see that party.

"I am going to be heading out soon. I am going to be seeing my friends. I am sure that everything will be fine. I mean, they are going to make sure that I don't do anything too stupid." I said, and then I was sighing, wondering if I was actually going to be true. I was thinking that it probably was, so I was needing to not feel like I was lying to him or anything at all.

"Just make sure that they keep you safe, and that they don't let you do anything too stupid." After he was telling me this, I was sighing, and at this point, I was getting kind of annoyed here. All he did was just refuse to let this go, and I was feeling like there was a chance that he lost all the respect that he was having for me.

"I will tell them that we are not going to be doing anything too crazy tonight." I said, and then I was then looking at him, and I was seeing him looking like he was just feeling so much fucking better about what I was saying. I was glad to be seeing him actually looking like he was buying what I had said. All that I just needed to do was bullshit longer, and everything was going to be fine. I was so proud of myself here.

"Alright, well I hope that you have fun regarless." He said, and then he was shrugging, as if feeling like he was just wanting to see me feel better about everything. "Anyways, I will just see what we can do to help you out." He sighed, almost not even wanting to say anything else. But he was just tired, and I was smiling when I looked at him.

"Hey dad, thank you for helping me out right now. Thank you for understanding." I said, and then I was looking right at him, and he clearly looked like he was just sort of shocked to be seeing me taking the time to be making him feel better about what he was getting himself into. "I mean, I know that you are doing everything you can, and I respect that so fucking much."

"Wow, thank you. I really am just trying to help everybody at this house out as long as I can. I mean, it is hard to do such things, but it is something that I really enjoy seeing. Seeing you and your mother happy." He was telling me, and then I was shrugging, thinking that I would just leave it alone now.

"I feel like I am not doing enough to show you guys that I respect what you have been doing." I was shrugging, thinking what I was telling him was both true, and also just me sort of bullshitting to make him feel better about what we were doing. I was then staring at the ceiling for a moment longer.

"See you later. Probably see you again tomorrow." I said, thinking about how often these talks were, and then I was walking out of the house, and then I was sighing, feeling like this entire time that I was doing these discussions, I was feeling like none of us were actually making any fucking difference here. No matter what the heck my father was feeling about me doing these investigations, I was just telling myself to be taking things calmly and easily for both of us to have some chance to be happier.

Eventually, I was feeling like when I would see Dakota again, I was going to have to just admit that maybe I was wrong about all of these investigations, and admit that maybe I was taking this whole thing too far. I mean, as much as I hated to admit it, there was probably at least some level of truth here.

There was only one real issue that I was having here was the fact that I needed to see what the hell they could have done now. I was feeling like when I was seeing Emily again, and she was going to be asking me how I was, she was not going to be having much patience here, and she was going to be kind of annoyed with the fact that I was acting like this all the time. She was going to tell me that I was making a big mistake. She was going to not support me, and maybe that there is some level of truth to that all.

As I was driving longer and longer, the only thing that I was telling myself that I just needed to be patient, and that I needed to try and do my best to be utterly respectful to Emily. Yu know, just make it seem like I was going to repair our relationship as well as possible. She might not like what I was doing, but I was wanting to I was really wanting to just do what I was sincerely feeling was right for the toThe only issue that I was thinking could really come out of this was dealing with the fact that she was going to ecuse me of being a fucking snake, and she was going to act like I was needing to do something better for all of us. So I was just thinking that I was being careful about what we were going to do now.

I was thinking that Emily should have known that I was wanting to be making this whole thing work, and I was wanting to make her happy, and that I was refusing to admit that I didn't care or whatever she might be feeling. But I was thinking that she was not going to be taking any of that shit. She was going to be annoyed with me, and she was going to make her mind up, no matter what is going on in my mind.

The only issue that I had with Emily was making sure that I was never going to be taking things too far. I was thinking that she was probably not going to be feeling too upset with me, and that she was going to be able to forgive me. I was thinking that sooner or later that I was just needing to think about what it was going to be like if she was not going to be super forgiving now.

I was just focused on the road, and the entire time that I was focused on the road, I was telling myself to be calm and collected, and I was telling myself to just remember that if something really was happening at the town, that she was going to sooner or later give me credit for being the only person in the entire town who was willing to give me anything.

That was all that I had wanted. I was worried about what it would have been like if nobody actually wanted this. I was tired of having people pretending like they were not even going to take nothing from this town, when in all reality, taking shit from this town was the only fucking thing this town was good at. I mean, people were taking shit from this town all the fucking time, and nobody was doing a damn thing to change it.

I was feeling like I needed to be more calm, and that I needed to be more respectful going forward, and that I needed to always hear their perspective. But that was getting harder and harder, and I was aware that people were not in the mood for any of the fucking excuses at all.

Eventually, I was parking at the lot of her house, and then I was smoking another cigarette, wishing that I was never having this debate, and that was something that I was thinking that I was going to have to be making some fucking peace with. The cigarettes were always the thing that were making me feel better about what I was doing going forward.

I got out of the car, and then I was closing the door without slamming it, and then I was walking to her door, and I was sighing, feeling like when I was speaking with her, as bad as lying was, maybe I would be able to get out of this by just milking the hell out of feeling bad, and that I was super hurt, and that I was feeling immense regret.

If I could get them to believe right away that it was true remorse that I was thinking, then surely they would give me at least some fucking bit of a break. You know, it was something that I was thinking that I was really going to have no choice on. When I knocked on it, I waited only a few seconds before she saw me. "Oh god Sheldon, I was scared out of my fucking mind on how you were doing." She said, and then I was nodding, feeling sincerely sorry for that, and not bullshitting.

"The fact of the matter is that I just was not too sure if this was going to be all coming back. But to be honest, I am so fucking happy to be seeing you here right now. I was worried that things might have happened to you as well." I was saying, remembering the fact that it was entirely myself that had brought these things to my friends, and I was remembering once and for all that it was my fault that they were in any danger in the first place. So I was remembering to just be quiet now.

"Don't worry about that. This is a rather random thing that you can tell me." She said, and she was looking right at me, and she was clearly wanting to just see if she could find something for me to say. But I was looking down, and I was thinking that being quiet was the only way that things were going to come together. I was tired, and I was feeling maybe when I would Emily, and I would see if something was going on with her, I was needing to be more polite now.

"So, what are you worried about right now? I see from the look on your face that you are here for more than just a random update." Emily said, and then I was feeling like the way that she had said that showed that this was not something she was going to take lightly. I was sighing, and I was feeling like maybe I was deserving this type of treatment. I wished that I never got it, and I wished that it was never a issue, but I knew that was not fucking happening.

"I was just wanting to see how you were doing. I mean, I know that I did not talk to you much when I was in recovery, and I know that doing something like this might piss you off. I feel sorry if I am getting you angry. But that being said, I just want to make you not feel too awful." I was saying, just trying my best to be showing any form of damage control.

"Sheldon, I am not worried about the fact that you did not speak to me much. I am sure that you were just focused on your own thing, and I am not going to be upset with you doing your own thing. Just make sure that no matter what happens, you never get yourself too incredibly hurt right now." She was saying, and then I was sighing, and I was feeling like she was needing to stop giving me that feeling that I was doing right. In all honesty, I was not, and I was aware that I was not.

"I know that I was just doing what I felt like I had to. But I still feel slightly bad for the whole thing. I mean, I know that I could have at least told you that I was in too much pain to be doing much. I feel like that would have at least been something. It would have shown that I was thinking of you..." I said, and then I was shrugging, thinking that I would leave it alone now.

"What are you going to do now though?" With that grinding noise, I know that surely you must be having some plans right now, and I just want to make sure that you are ready for what you are doing." She told me, and then I was sighing, as if feeling like maybe that comment and question was going to be stinging me a bit.

"I am going to go to that party that is happening tonight, and if I see something, I will go further. If I do not, then I will leave it alone, and I will not be making a big fucking deal out of it at all. I just wan to give it one more chance, to sort of see if there is something I am missing." I was sighing, and I was just wanting to find a way to make her feel like I was not trying to pull something out of nothing, and the story might make her feel like what I was doing was almost right in a way.

"Honestly, I am not surprised that you are doing this. If anything, I am kind of shocked that you are going that little into it. I thought that you were going to try and basically pull something out of nothing." After he was telling me this, I was looking right at him, and I was feeling like he was not going to be very nice about this, as annoying as that might be.

"I just think that I need to be smart, and I need to look at things harder, but that I am going to just have to leave it all alone. To be quite honest with you, I just think that no matter what is happening, and no matter what we are feeling, to not see every single option ahead of us is going to be a massive fucking mistake." I was then feeling like when I was done saying that, I could now leave it alone, knowing I made my case.

"So Sheldon, in a realistic level, how much do you think is going to be coming up here? Do you feel like you will find something here, or that you might even have a chance?" After she was asking me this, I was shrugging, and then I was feeling like no matter what I told her, nothing else was going to matter. She would not get it.

"Honestly, I think that the chances that I find something are relatively minor, and I just need to be realistic when I look at this. But I think that perhaps minor is still better than nothing. So I will just see what I can fucking find, and if there is something, I will be both happy and angry that I was right. But you know, I have gotten to the point where I had expected virtually every single outcome, no matter what." I was sighing, and then the moment that I was finished with this, I was just sort of feeling like I was making some peace with it all.

"Well, I think that I might join you here. You know, I want to make sure that you do not do anything too dangerous. No offense, but I am not sure that I fully trust you right now, and I think that I am just needing to be careful." She was telling me, and I was feeling like if this was happening, I was just needing to own up to it if something happened to her. But I was thinking on the relatively spot light, and then felt like I was needing to be fair.

"I doubt that anything is going to happen. But I feel like I am going to have to keep a open mind, and I will do that no matter what." I said, and then I was just feeling like no matter what the fucking hell was happening. I was then thinking that if I was in her spot, I would feel like Emily just needed to stop doing this.

"But Sheldon, what if something does happen? Do you feel like you need to have somebody at your side, and to make sure that you stay safe?" She asked, and then I was looking right at her, and I was feeling that was a terrible idea. I was thinking that she needed to not fucking do that, and that she needed to let me run my show, and that I was gong to have to not let this get worse.

"I will see what I can fucking do. I mean, that is the only thing that I can fucking say to this." I was saying, and then I was shrugging, and the only thing that I could have said that would make her feel any differently was if I was going to start to take some fucking ownership. "Please just stay safe, and I will tell you what happens, if anything, later, when I know better.

"Thank you for just trying and do your best to be there for me, and I support the fact that you are trying to be helpful, but I think that if something does happen to you, I will never fucking forgive myself, and I will be feeling like a fucking monster, and that is all that there is to the issue." I was saying, and I was thinking that I could have just left the whole thing alone, and that I did not need to be saying anything else now.

"I guess that maybe that does make some sense, as much as I hate to admit it. And I appreciate the fact that you are just trying to own up to things, and do what you feel like is right." She was telling me, and then I was glad to be seeing her looking like she was able to finally make some fucking sense out of it all.

"So Sheldon, do you feel like what you are doing is good for everybody? I mean, do you feel like your answers are coming along better now?" She asked, and I could not tell if this was a atagonistic question, or one she was genuinely unsure of right now.

"I guess that we will be seeing more when we get there. You know, I will keep a open mind, and see what is going to come along, and see if what I am doing is very smart or not." I was saying, and then with that, I decided that I was going to be able to just sort of let it go, and not be sounding all that worried about it now.

Eventually, I was sitting down, and I was near Harold's house, when I was staring at the building when I was smoking abother cigarette. I was just feeling like I was needing the courage to go on and confront Harold, and make him understand very well that I was not going to be playing around. I wanted him to understand that this was something that really was getting through to me a bit. I was going to just speak to him, and see what he was needing to tell me.

I was walking to his door, and then I knocked on it for a couple of seconds, and when he answered Harold was looking right at me, and he was looking terrified. He was wanting to just tell me something, but I was feeling like I just needed to keep my point, and that no matter what he was going to say, he was going to have to accept how serious I was going to be now.

"What is bothering you?" Harold asked, and I was feeling like that was the most polite way he was going to ask this, and then I was thinking of the way that I could get him to understand what my point was. "You would not be here for something else I would believe."

"Nothing too much. I was wanting to know what your plans for the party were." I was saying, and then he was looking right at me, and I was seeing him looking slightly more excited again, and if he was wanting to go on and actually go on to tell me these plans. Maybe he had no real plans.

"Oh yeah, the grinding noise went off. The party is going to be tonight. I mean, if you want to go to my house instead, and just hang out here, and maybe this can get your mind off of things." He was saying, and then I was looking at him, as if not wanting him to give me any of that bullshit. I was seriously not in the mood right now.

"Listen, you need to understand right now taht I am not in the mood for this. You are going around, telling me that you are not going to the party. I know for a damn fact that you are, and I think that you are just wasting my time saying you're not." I said, and then he was sighing, as if aware that I was getting to him now.

"Okay, yes you're right. I am going to that party. I was just feeling like I was needing to make sure you didn't do something that got you hurt or killed. I mean, if you are killed, then I would be losing some of my business, and that is not going to help me out." He said, and then I was looking at him, just annoyed to all shit.

"Not today Harold. I mean, I need to really get to know what is happening here, and I want to see if there is something that I can figure out here. I know that I am missing something, and I think that I need to just go to that tree house party." I said, and then Harold was looking at me, and I was seeing him looking somewhat scared now.

"Dude, fucking relax. You can do whatever you want, and I am not going to do anything to stop you. But seriously, what is so fucking serious that you need to be doing all of this anyways? I mean, I think you can explain that to me at least." He said, and then i was sighing, not in the mood tonight.

"I want to know if I can be able to go on and learn more about labyrinth. I mean, for fucks sake, I think that I can genuinely pull out some shit from that, if I looked hard enough." I said, and then I was looking right at him, and I was wondering if he was going to try and debate me here.

"Sheldon, going to a party is not going to help you magically figure it all out. Surely you must understand this. I mean, I am not going to tell you that what you want to do is wrong. But I am going to tell you that you need to actually think things out." He told me, and then I was looking at him, as if thinking what he was telling me was rich.

"Oh Harold, come on. I think that we both know that you are not that worried about all the people who are going missing. You just want to worry about what you can do to further make progress on your drug dealing." I was saying, and I was feeling like I was not giving him enough credit. But at the same time, I was feeling like what I was telling him was perfectly realistic.

"I think that I care far more than you say that I do. That being said, I am not going to be running around and acting like I am some fucking white knight. And the fact that you are thinking that you can solve everything is just hard to imagine." He said, and then I was just thinking that deep down inside, he might have been right with what he was telling me right now.

"I am just wanting to do what is best to keep things together and safe. I mean, I know that everybody is going to be acting like I am just making a big group of mistakes. But I am going to keep fighting for as long as possible. I think that you must surely understand that I am just going at things my own way." I was telling him, which was clearly not getting to him at all.

"I get that you want to bring some justice to the entire town. But that idea is a farce, and you fucking know it. There is nothing that is going to magically solve this all. You know that deep down inside, that no matter what you are doing, things will never be finished up." He was telling me, and then I was looking up, just wishing that he would leave it alone.

"Well, regardless of what you are telling me right now, I do have a goal in mind. And I think that going to that party might be helping me get some clues out. I think that you might want to have me not do this, and I understand that it might be a bit much to have me do it all. But I want to do something that I know is going to be right. I am wanting to do what is right for once in my life." I said, thinking of how messed up I made everything.

"What do you mean by doing things right for once in your life? I mean that does not make much sense." He was saying, and then I was looking right at him, and I was unsure if he was taking a fake interest, or if he was genuinely wanting to know more. So I was sighing, and I was thinking that maybe one of these days, I might be able to open up further here.

"I just think that I am making a lot of mistakes, and I am just thinking that if I thought on how to do a good job, then these mistakes would not fucking happen. You must understand that I am just feeling like I could have at least spent more time speaking with people, seeing what they had felt." I said, and then I was looking right at him, wondering what he was wanting to say in dispute.

"Well, I think that you just need to not bring those up around my friends, and people who might be showing up to the party. I think that many people are not going to want to hear all of these things. It kind of makes the whole thing more depressing and stuff." He was saying, and I was thinking that perhaps he might have been right, so I was thinking that maybe I just needed to respect that.

"Don't worry, I will not have too much interest forcing them to be hearing things that they will have no interest in knowing. I think that something like that would be god damn social suicide, and I am well aware of this." I was saying, and then I took out another cigarette, and then I was handing Harold one, because I was in a good mood.

Harold and I started to smoke a cigarette within the same time as each other, and then he was looking right at me for a couple of seconds. "I mean, you do what you want, and I guess that in the end, I do respect your grit. You know, the amount of effort that you are putting here, and that you care a lot about what you are doing. But I think that you are going to just have to find a way to be going at this on your own.

"Honestly, I just want to be feeling like I did something right for once. I think that it all comes down to this. I want to do something that I feel like is going to be really doing something right." I was then feeling like I had made my point, and now that I finally made my point, I was just staring right at him for a few seconds longer wishing that I could have spoken better now.

"I think that I just want to know what happened with my sister, and finding out what happened with my sister will make me feel so much better about everything. You know, I think that in the end, when I see that she is still not home, and still not having any answers, I just feel wrong, and I feel like it is entirely my fault." Then with that, I was starting to walk to my car, and then Harold was calling out to me again.

"So does this confirm that I am going to be seeing you at the party tonight?" He asked me, and then I was looking right at him, and then I was nodding, as if feeling like he did not even need to be asking me this question. I was thinking that him asking this was just his way of trying to be polite. I was thinking that if he genuinely did not understand this earlier, then that was going to be his fault for not understanding better.

"Yeah, you will be seeing me at the party tonight. And I will see what I can find there. You know, I just think that it is something that I really want to do. Thank you for listening to me, and thank you for just not telling me off for once." I was then feeling like I was going to be able to leave it all alone, and that I had no need to even speak further.

When I was in the car, I was rubbing my eyes, and I was tired, and I was angry, and I was never in the mood for this anymore. I was wanting to be happy for once. I was wanting to fucking make my fucking point. I was going to expose all the things that were behind my sister being gone, and I was going to learn is labyrinth was true. You know, it was the least that I would do, and I was thinking that I was not going to give up until all of the answers were together.

Then with that, I was driving to the phone booth, and I was thinking that maybe I would talk with Todd for a bit. I knew that it would be bad timing, but I knew that if anybody would help, Todd was going to be the only one who was even willing to pretend to be giving me any clues. So that was all that I was focused on here.

I was going to head to that tree house before I would be heading to the party, and I was feeling like going there might have given me some form of a goal on where I was supposed to go. I was thinking that if for nothing else, I might be able to get this whole thing together. I was thinking that maybe if I was actually patient, an dlooked around enough, I would have found at least something there.

Despite all of this stuff that I was telling myself, deep down I knew that something like this might have bene impossible. Because I was feeling that there was no way in hell somebody was going to be stupid enough to actually leave something there. I was probably going to be going there, and I was probably going to be wasting my time. I was aware of this, but I was not going to be wasting my time at all.

I was telling myself that no matter what my friends were going to tell me, and that no matter what they were wanting to tell me, that something was hidden there. I was thinking that there was no other reason that this was such a popular place in town. Surely something about the house was attracting some people there. I was just telling myself to think about how calm that I had needed to be now.

I was wondering what Dakota was going to tell me if he was aware of what I was doing. He was going to be telling me to stop fucking doing this, and he was going to tell me that the police were up to something. But when I was thinking of all of these statements in my mind, there was a ever so small part of me that was wondering if he really was right, and that I was making something out of nothing. I mean, the idea would be possible, as much as I was hating to admit it.

The only thing that I was not super certain of was the fact that I was wondering if there was any plan by the people who were throwing this party. I was wondering if the people who were throwing this party were going to be trying to scout out some people, and learn what they would be able to use from us. I was thinking that something like this was quite possible.

I knew deep down that Harold was the one throwing the party, and I was going to be heading right back there when I was done with this. But when I was going to get there, I was just going to be looking around for like five or ten minutes, and I would be done, and then I would go to that place. The only thing that I was not sure of was why he was basically wanting me to get away from his party, and I was thinking it was much more than him not wanting me to be ruining the fun or whatever he was saying earlier.

When I was out of my car, I was smoking another cigarette, and I was slowly climbing up the tree house, thinking that if I was patient, and if I was not going to be bothered by this whole thing, I was looking around, just to make sure that nobody was around to witness what I was doing. Once I was relatively sure I was alone, I was taking a long and deep breath.

Once I was inside of the tree house, I was stomping the cigarette out, just in case somebody might notice me being here just by the smoke alone. Yeah, I know in hindsight that was dumb logic. But at the moment, I was fucking desperate, and I was fucking scared out of my mind.

I walked inside, and then I was looking around, just trying to stay as calm and collected as possible. I was seeing all of the tossed around clothes, and now when I was much older, I was able to figure out how fucking obvious the clothes were. I was then shaking my head, wondering why some people couldn't just do it in their car or something like that. Even that would be better than this.

After that brief moment of me relatively judging these people who were doing that, I was telling myself to be getting serious again, and then I was looking around, and I saw that there was a bed that was not only on there, but it was looking like it had been placed in a very precise way. As if covering something up in a distance.

I was walking to the bed, feeling like if I was wanting to be smart, that there was going to be something down below that bed, and that I was just feeling like a fucking idiot for not noticing this earlier. Then again, I am sure that many other people were doing something here all the time. So chances were that other people might not have noticed either, and that I was just needing to be more fair for myself here.

I was pulling the bed, and then I was seeing that the bed was covering up something that was both terrifying, and not that scary at all. It was a bunch of messages, and notes for people. I was confused as to what the point of these notes were, but I was thinking that I might try and write them down. I needed to at least read them all first.

I was shocked at what I was seeing, and I was shocked when I was seeing several of these notes also erased up. I was thinking that maybe the erased ones were even worse than the other ones, and that whoever was doing these notes wanted to cover up what they were doing. I was laughing at this prospect, kind of finding it to be at least relatively amusing. Then I was trying to actually focus on what really mattered.

"The gates of hell are coming." The first message said, and honestly that message alone, taken without any context, would seem like something some random teenager who was trying to be funny would say. I rolled my fucking eyes, not in the mood for it anymore, and I was focusing on my other notes. Although I wondered why they would write it under a bed.

"The only way out is to not fight." That one was a bit more scary to me, and I was wanting to not see that one. I was staring at the ceiling, and I was feeling like maybe I just needed to look at these a bit harder. I started to tell myself to be more calm and collected, and not be focusing on what that note was...

"Those noises are true." When the third note said this, I was feeling like you would have to be stupid to not realize that it is talking about the grinding noise. Everybody who had any common sense would have been able to figure that message out. But I was wondering what they had meant by 'the noises are true.' I thought that the fact you could hear them was proof that they were indeed real.

"Run away. Run so far away." I was laughing at the basicness of this one. Helped got the point really across. I was sighing, and I was just thinking that I might as well be quiet, and I was remembering taht I was needing to look at the other notes. Surely at least one of them would be a clue.

"There is no single answer." After the note said this, I was just really confused, while also hit with something of a obvious revelation. But at the same time, I was feeling like I was needing to fully understand the meaning before I go on, and start speaking like it is the thing that is going to help me out here. But I was feeling like one way or another, that was a start.

"There is no turning back." Another one said, and out of them all, this one was the one that was getting to me the least, and the only one that I did not care much for, and the only one that I was feeling like was just sort of a waste of my time.

"It hurts so much." That note was actually giving me a somewhat omnious feeling, and then I was feeling like perhaps I was going to have to remember that one, or that one was going to have a relatively obvious meaning once everything was coming together. But I was not going to brush it off.

"Mile Marker Three." The one that I was feeling like might have been the most important said. As I was looking at this note, I was then feeling like everything was going to be coming together. I was thinking that this was an actual clue, and I was sighing. I was then feeling like I just needed to learn about these 'Mile Markers' and then that way I could be able to actually get something to help me out.

I was standing up when I was done with these, and then I was placing the bed back to the side, and then I was sighing, and I was just thinking that I was needing to be careful here. I was thinking that if somebody saw these notes or knew that I saw them, then I was going to be in so much fucking trouble.

I was taking out another cigarette, and then I was starting to smoke it for a few seconds before I was thinking about what I was going to want to be doing now. I was shaking my head, and I was tired of everything. I was wanting to act like I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew that this was bullshit. I had nothing of a idea on what was happening in this creepy ass place, and I was aware of that now more than ever.

I then was thinking about what I might have been able to locate as these mile markers, and I was thinking about possible clues as to what they were meaning. Were they actual miles, or were they just destinations to meet up at? I mean, I guess that I could see it go either way, and I was feeling like I just needed to consider the prospect both ways.

I was starting to head out of the house, feeling like I would rather be safe than sorry, although I was finding the mere idea of doing something like that to be relatively comical. The idea of being safe, and not doing something that I was going to regret was getting more and more fucking impossible. I was wanting to pretend like I was having a clue what I was doing, but in all honesty, I was thinking that I was probably just as clueless, if not even more, than what I had been before.

The only thing that I was thinking about right now was seeing if maybe somebody would be able to give me any fucking clues what these meant. If I could get some clues here, and see if they were real places, I might have been able to get something done here, and I might be ready for something else.

The only thing that was holding me back was the uncertainty of who was going to actually have the time for me when it was all said and done? I mean, I knew it was only a matter of time before people would finally tell me that they were having enough. I was thinking that Emily was just about there, and then I was thinking about what it was going to be like if she was never even going to want to speak to me again, or whatever, because I was a obssessed freak who would not let things go.

Once I was down inside of my car, I was then starting it up, and then I was thinking that when I was at the party, I could scout out a bit that way. I was aware that the answers were probably not going to come up. But what did I even fucking care anymore? What good were these leads if I was not even going to be giving them all a chance? I think that doing something like this was just going to be a giant mistake, so I was not going to fall for it.

I was aware that Harold either had no idea, or would not have told me regardless. I mean, I was smart enough to figure that one. Harold was going to tell me that I was just wasting his time, and for all that I knew maybe I fucking was. All that I fucking knew was that I was not going to be in the fucking mood to just wait around, and just be oblivious. Surely at least one person at the party might have figured something out now.

I started to think that once I was done with the party, I might go to that one lady that I talked with before the whole crash. The one that made me start to learn about Sherman and his kids. I was thinking that maybe speaking with her might be able to clear up yet another few things. I mean, I was feeling like it was going to be worth it. Although I guess the idea of worth it or not was entirely up to how things would really play out.

The only thing that I was certain of was that something related to that tree house was connected to the people in town, and that something about this tree house was going to give me some fucking clues as to what we were getting ourselves into. I was feeling like every time that I had bee there, even for a hang out, was now going to be permanetly soured, and I was going to have to pretend like it was all fine, when it was not.

I was tired of having so many of the pieces, but not all of them. I felt like I was getting more of the pieces than almost anybody else, and that I should be proud of my progress. But that was not true. I was angered at myself, and I was angered at the way that I was just getting absolutely nothing. I was thinking that as long as at least one piece was missing, I needed to understand that might be the most important one, and that I just needed to be careful.

I was almost back at Harold's house, and as I was getting closer, I was seeing some cars in the area. I was feeling like this was the clear sign that things were kicking up. I was sighing, and I was thinking about how much I did really want to go to this party, and how much it would have been so much fucking fun.

I was sort of just sitting arond, and I considered the prospects one final time, and I was feeling like I was needing to really put the pieces together. I was then telling myself to fucking go out, and to fucking just take the time to be there for my friends. My friends were going to be happy to see me, regardless of what I was planning, and I was going to take advantage of it all.

I went right inside, and then I was just taking a long and deep breath, and I was seeing that Dakota and Ashley were already at the party, and I was smiling, aware of the fact that their life had not been all that affected that they had been. I was then going right up to them, pretending like I was not going to have a hard time having this discussion.

"Hey, how are you feeling right now?" I asked, just trying to be happy and patient, not really trying to find anything to make this whole thing any differently. Despite everything that I had been feeling, I was telling myself that these conversations were the only thing that really fucking mattered. No matter what I was wanting to do, I needed to try and remain silent here.

"We're doing alright enough. Nothing is really all that important. We are wondering if you were planning on going on and looking at a bunch of information, or if you were going to leave it all alone." After Dakota was sayng this to me, I was wanting to argue him, and deny it all, I was sighing, and I was feeling like I was just needing to leave it alone. I was thinking that I needed to be calm and collected here.

"I don't think that I would be dumb enough to do it so openly. I think that I am just sort of curious to see what is even here to begin with." I said, amd then I was staring at the other people here, and I was seeing that there was about two dozen people here, and I was feeling like I was just looking right at them, trying to find something to help me.

"Is the party just starting? This seems like a rather small turn out, I suppose." I said, thinking that there was something genuinely strange about it all, and then Ashley and Dakota were looking at each other, as if wanting to just brush this question off, but neither of them looked like they were feeling like that was a terrible question, so it had looked like they were willing to can it.

"I suppose that it might be. I guess that I never really thought on it at all." Dakota was saying, and then he was shrugging, as if not really even caring about it anymore. He was looking like his interest in this about went as far as it could go, and that I was just going to be wasting both of our times now.

"Anyways, I know you are not liking it when I constantly ask about this, but do you know who went missing this time." I was asking, and I was feeling like surely this must have been considered a decently valid question, and that surely they were not going to throw this one away. Ashley looked like even she was unsure of what to say.

"I don't know though. I mean, I guess that you might be able to ask around. I never really been paying too muh attention to that." Ashley said, and I was seeing that there was a small amount of guilt as she was saying this, so I was remaining as calm and quiet as humanly possible. "But Sheldon, do you feel like the person who went missing here might have any connection to what is going on at the party?" She asked, and then I was shrugging for a while.

"I never really would assume that. I would never think that Harold would do something like this. No offense to him, but I guess that I would ever really take him to be the super attaching type of guy." I was saying, feeling like I was able to just go on and leave it alone at this, and they were both looking like they were willing to let it go.

"Well, I guess that I will just let the subject go. You seem like you are not all that invested, compared to what you would be normally." After she had said that to me, I was sighing, and I was not wanting statements like this to be made, since I did not want to come off as heartless. But I guess that there might have been a minor level of truth with this.

"I guess. Well, sorry for bringing it up. I'll drop the subject, for the time being at least." I said, and then I was looking right at them one final time, as if feeling like I was just going to have to find a way to speak with her for a while longer. "Anways, what are you guys going to be up to after tonight?" I asked, at least trying to find something to say to bring this whole subject to some level of normalcy. Neither Dakota nor Ashley were even all that worried about it.

"Sheldon, what are you going to be doing right now?" She asked and then I was sighing, feeling like I was having no idea what my plans were going to be, and I was thinking that even coming up with a different answer was going to be one of the biggest wastes of time in my life. So I was just looking right at her for a few seconds longer.

"I don't know. I think that I will just try and enjoy myself. I guess that it is the least that I can fucking do." I was sighing, thinking that saying something like this might be the only thing that I could have said that would have made it any differently. So with that, I was walking down the area, just trying to find any way to continue my search, and not have people suspecting the fucking hell out of me.

I was starting to walk around, and I was finding a random cup of alcohol in the area, and then I was grabbing it, and then I was shooting it down as fast as possible. As I was looking around, I was smiling for a few seconds, and then I was then looking around, trying to find literally anything that I might have been excited about.

Then when I was looking for another drink, I was seeing that Emily was doing something, and then I was feeling like I might as well try and apologize for not picking her up. One one hand, she probably did expect something like this. But at the same time, I was telling myself that this was the least that I could do. Maybe she would not hate me for doing this afterwards.

"Hey Emily, sorry for not seeing you earlier. I know how terrible it might have been." I was saying, and then I was looking right her, as if hoping that something that lifeless of a apology might have been a good starting point. But at the same time, I was not in the mood for anything like this anymore. "I just think that I got too distratced, and I should have come and pick you up. It was the least that I could have done, and I was failing to do that." I was shrugging, as if feeling like I could have left it alone.

"It's not really all that big of a deal. I mean, you are off doing your own thing, and I am not going to try and get you to stop doing things. I mean, I guess that you are just always going to be doing things that are going to be considered a bit off." After she had told me this, I was sighing, wishing that I could have found something better.

"But seriously, out of interest, what were you doing before you showed up? I mean, I thought that you would have just been here the entire time or something." She was saying, and then I was shrugging, as if feeling like there was virtually nothing that I could say now. I was then sighing, thinking that I just needed to leave it alone.

"Honestly, I was looking at the tree house. I was feeling like maybe if I looked hard enough, I might have found something at the fucking tree house, that might have helped me out." I said, and I was aware of how stupid I was sounding, but I was thinking that if I was real with her, she might be able to respect it a bit further.

"That is a really strange place to be looking around. I mean, I know that it is none of my business, but what you were feeling like you might have found at the tree house in the first place?" She asked me, and then I was sighing, feeling like I was just needing to be a bit more careful now. "What are you thinking could have made any difference? I am just trying to wrap my mind around your logic." I laughed at this, and held my hand up.

"Okay, you made your fucking point. The thing is that people go to that tree house so much, that I guess that I might have found something that might have shown up, and that by looking there, that I might have seen if there was some clues as to the value of them all." I was saying, and then I shrugged, and I was refusing to mention the notes, as i was feeling like those were something that I was just needing to never mention.

"Okay, I guess that I will neve rreally understand the logic of this, but I guess that I will just leave it all alone. So in all honesty, I was feeling like maybe I was taking this whole thing too seriously." Emily was saying, and then we were leaving things alone, and I was just thinking that maybe I was just needing to make a fucking plan.

"Anyways, I just think that I am going to have to work harder with all of this, and I think that I will want to have some idea on what I am going to have to see as good starting points. But I think that if I found nothing today, I might as well consider today a flush, and leave it all alone." I was shrugging, and then I was tired of everything, and I was telling myself that I was going to focus on making Emily feel like I was not going to be putting her in any danger, at least for today.

"Hey Sheldon, so are you going to be picking up your efforts tomorrow again?" She was asking me, and then I was shrugging, as if feeling like I was probably going to, but I was feeling like I might as well give her the illusion that I had no desire to do something like this. Since that type of response might be making her feel at least a bit better here.

"Well, honestly, I will see what I might do. I will probably do something, but I am not going to act like it is a certainty." I was saying, and then I was thinking that I might as well leave it alone. I was tired, and I was needing another cigarette, where I might as well take a bit of a fucking break now.

"I guess that I should have expected something like this. I mean, I know how seriously you are taking this investigation, and I know how much it means to you, and how much you feel like you need to understand everything. I am not going to try and stop you from doing what you think is right. That is just not going to ever work, regardless..." Emily said, and then she was looking right at me, as if feeling mold annoyance at this.

"I mean, I just wish that I could have said something that you might have wanted to hear better, but I think that it is just not going to ever work out that way. I mean, I know that you wanted me to let it rest and part of me wanted that as well. But I think that this would be impossible in my current life." I said, and looked directly at her for more information.

"That being said, I feel like I have nothing, and I feel like I am not going to ever find anything, do in a certain way, even I know that it is only a matter of time before I just give up, and feel like I wasted my time. I will just see who might be more patient with me though, which is the best that I can fucking do." I was shrugging, and I was feeling like I needed to leave it alone now.

"Honestly, I just feel like I need to be happier here. I think that when I look back, nd I already realize that in a way, I threw away like three weeks of summer, part of me wonders what the hell I am thinking. That being said, that will be a different discussion for a different time." I was sighing, and felt like I could just leave it at that, and not be worried anymore.

"How do you feel like you are going to be happy? I mean, I know that things are always going to be changing, and everything that can answer that question is just hard to understand. But I guess that I will see what is happening now." After Emily was telling me this, she was looking more and more like she was just wanting to have a proper answer, to either confirm or deny her fears. I was feeling terrible for not having that for her.

"I mean, being happy always is something that changes up depending on the day. But I think that if you want to really look for something that can give you a relative meaning or purpose here, then I guess that almost anything can make you happy at some point in time." I was saying, and then I shrugged, and then I was thinking about all that I just said, and I was thinking that maybe I was finally realizing a bit more of her perspective, when I was seeing some people that I never wanted to see again up stairs.

"Sheldon? What is going on? You look like something just steamrolled you over." She asked, and I was looking right at her, and I was feeling like she was just trying to be funny, and that she was thinking that I was going to appreciate her trying to make me feel better here. But at the time, I was just not really in the mood.

"I never actually expected them to be here. I can't believe that they were dumb enough to do this." I was shaking my head, and then I was wondering if maybe I was the one being dumb instead, and that maybe I was just needing to find a way to get the fucking hell out of here. Emily was still looking at me as if I was just totally out of it, and I was seeing that her patience was not too high now anymore.

"What are you talking about? Is this related to what you have been looking into?" She asked, finally taking this seriously, and no longer playing around I was seeing her looking like she was wanting to say something else. But she was just too worried to do so and maybe I was able to sort of see where she was coming from, in her perspective.

"Yeah, it is entirely related to that. Trust me, I was not expecting anything to happen today. I really genuinely was willing to not think too much about it today. But I think that something like this will be fucking impossible to do right now." I was saying, and at this point in time, my mind was running at a million miles per hour, and I was just thinking of how I could get her safe.

"Sheldon, do you need to leave? I mean, I know that I have had different opnions on this so far, but I know what it is like to be scared of something. If you need to just leave, I will not stop you." She said, and then I was holding up my hand, and I was feeling like I just needed to show that I was rejecting that idea, for better or for worse, before she even had a chance to further with it.

"I am not going to leave. I think that I need to stay now. But I think that you should leave. You know, I do not want anything to happen to you." I was saying, and she looked right at me, and I was seeing that she was looking kind of pissed at this idea, as if feeling like she was wanting to just have me just say something else.

"Sheldon, what the heck is getting you so worried in the first place? I mean, even if they are going to do something, we are in a public area. I think there is no realistic chance that they will do something to you." She was saying, and I was sighing as if glad that she was able to feel that way, and I was thinking that on this one, she was probably right. But I was thinking that I needed to be looking at every single outcome first.

"I wish that you were able to look at things as nicely as I do. But I think that something like this might just be impossible. That being said, I do thank you for trying to show some support for this all right now." I was saying, and I was just thinking that in order to get her to be fully happy, I was needing to butter her up as much as possible.

"I mean, I know how hard this whole thing must have been for you, and while I do wish that this was something that you wre never really all that into, I guess that I have no way of judging you, and you have nothing to be sorry over." She was saying, and then with that, I was giving Emily a small kiss on the cheek, and I was seeing her shocked and happy at this one, as if she was totally blown away by it all.

"Trust me when I say that I will not let this continue to get in the way of us having something together. I will do anything in my power to put this behind me soon enough, or to know the truth. But right now, that will ave to wait until I know what these guys are doing here." I was telling her, and then I was shrugging, wanting to pretend like this was any other meet up. She was nodding, as if gettimg my cue, and she was dropping the worried look for my request.

Eventually, when she was looking like she was sort of getting it, and she was sort of feeling like she was aware that this was the way that I was wanting to do things now, she was looking more and more like she was just willing to give up even trying to get me to change my ways here.

"Sheldon, all that I will say is that I wish you great luck. You know, I think that you might really need it." She was saying, and then I was smiling at this one, and I was able to appreicate the fact tahts he was trying to be happy, and she was at least trying to pretend like what was going on was totally normal. I was thinking this was for the best.

Then with that, I started to walk up the stairs, and I was sighing, wishing that I had a better way of going at this whole thing, and I was thinking about what it was going to be like if I was Emily. As I was thinking that, I was sighing, and I was feeling like she was really having a great level of patience to deal with me on a regular fucking basis at this rate. But I would get to that later.

I was glad to know that I was no longer needing to worry aboyt what Emily was going to be doing. I was not going tyo have her get in the way, and I was going to be making sure that no matter what was happening, she was going to never supect a thing with me. But I just needed to see what those guys were doing first.

Once I was getting near the top of the stairs, I was looking right around, and I was seeing that most of the people in the party were just sort of not only doing their own thing, but looked like they could not have cared less that Iw as even there. Almost like I did not even fucking exist in their eyes. That was a fucking blessing, let me tell you right now. That was the best thing that I could have going for me right now.

I was smoking another cigarette when I was at the top, to calm myself down, and then I was seeing that the two guys were going right inside of a office. I was feeling like this office might have been the most important place in the entire house. Or at the very least, the one place that was disturbed the least. Because no way in hell they were going to talk to people who could hear normal discussion at any point.

I knew deep down that there was a good chance that I was just making shit up, and that I was blowing things out of fucking proportion, but at the same time, in a way, I was finding myself just not even caring at the time. I was wanting to know the truth, and I was going to do anything to finally know it all.

Once I was finally standing next to a wall that I felt like I might have been able to bullshit at long enough, I was standing here, and I was doing my very best to be listening in, and pretending like what I was doing was natural. I was not wanting to make it clear that I was listening to people. And I was thinking that maybe Emily was right. They would not do anything to me if they knew what place we were in, so that gave me some amount of assurance.

The one thing that I was able to say in my favor for the time being was that at least I was going around, and I was not running around, and pretending like I was some fucking hero. I was actually looking like I was being smart. I was sighing, and I was just telling myself that maybe I was actually needing to be more sneaky when going forward. At least with stuff like this, I might be able to give off the impression that I was no longer obssessed.

I was sighing, and I was feeling like no matter what was going to be said, I was not ready for it. I was scared out of my fucking mind out of what these guys were going to be discussing about the fucking town, and the girls who just vanished. "So do you know the new reports on the next person who was taken away this time?" One of the people asked, and I was taken back by the way he was asking this question, with the way that he was saying taken away. I mean, I was thinking that I just needed to understand what the hell he was even meaning.

"All that I know was that she was a freshman at the local community college. I think that this is the only thing that you need to know as well. Since getting to know too much information might be putting things at risk here." The guy was saying, and he was clearly just sounding like he was wanting to see what the the rman was going to even say now.

"I know that it is none of my business, as everybody always tells me, but I just can't help but be slightly curious. You know, we are always trying to make sure that things are going to go well, and I think that it is best to sort of have a clear idea on what we are always going to be getting ourselves into." The other guy was saying, just trying their best to be sounding like what they were saying was neutral, and not all that pushing towards a agenda.

"Honestly, I think that people are just more on edge with everything that is going on. You know, people are starting think that there is more to what is happening here, and our bosses are just getting slightly worried about that. I think that they also have every right to be, given the circumstances." After he had said that, he was shrugging, as if feeling like there was no need to further add more to this.

"I guess that maybe you could be right. I mean, I guess that I just wnat to make sure that nothing will be making things even worse for us. I thinkthat if we are not too careful, then we night be getting ourselves killed doing this at all." He was saying as if feeling like what he was saying was making perfect fucking sense.

"Well, I think that the only thing that would even possibly come up as a point of discussion anyways is what to do about some of those high school kids who are starting to learn more and more about what is happening. Our bosses are getting really scared of them, that they might expose something." After he had said that to the other guy, I was certain that I was exactly the guy that was being talked about here. And I was proud to be the target of what they were discussing here.

"I was hearing about that as well. Strange how a high school student can cause so much trouble here. It seems almost like pure fiction in a way." The guy was saying, and laughed at this, but the other guy was not finding it funny at all. As if they were sincerely worried about what was happening here.

"People might be laughing about it now, but trust me when I say that these kids can be really dangerous if they put their mind to it. I mean, I have seen how some of them go at their searches. They do not leave anything behind, and they fucking are so through with it all that it is honestly disturbing." The second person was saying, as if feeling like they were sort of lettingg up for once on this whole thing.

"Do any of the officers have any updates for us on what is happening as well?" The first voice asked, and it was so fucking clear by this point that this first voice, at least comparatively, was just sort of a newer guy, and was wanting to know everything thatw as happening, and I was feeling like maybe I could use that as a starting point here.

"No, I am afraid not. You know, I am afraid that they might be slacking off at their jobs now. You know, we brought them into this, thinking that they might have been able to truly make a difference, and yet they have added virtually nothing but dead ends to this whole thing. The only good thing that they provide is the sense of certainty that nobody who questions this will be taken seriously." As one of the two voices, could not figure out which since they were purposely talking quieter now, said all of this, I was feeling so much fucking ice just rnning down my body.

I didn't know if I was more shocked at the fact that they were discussing this all so openly, or more shocked at the fact that I was never able to figure out that something might be going on. I was feeling like perhaps I was making a giant fucking mistake, and that I should never trust them to begin with from now on. But at the time being, I was telling myself to just remember that this discussion was more important than anything else.

I was then thinking that if I listened any longer, I might not have been earning too much information, so I was feeling like I might be able to leave it alone. But I was feeling like there was something that I was just going to have to be looking into rather soon. You know, seeing if I could at least make any real connections here. Who might have been willing to speak with me here. And who might have been willing to take me seriously.

Once I was feeling like I had just needed to get out of there, I was walking down the stairs, and the longer that I was away from there, and the further away, the more it would look like I was having nothing to do with it. You know, I was just thinking that I could still take a calm and realistic approach when going at it all.

I was seeing that Ashley and Dakota were both looking like they were just wanting to see what was happening to me. I was seeing that neither of them were really wanting to pushing me on telling them what the issue was. But for god sake, I was feeling like that might sincerely have been the best thing in the world that they could have been doing.

The longer that they were not going to be incredibly involved with what I was trying to get away from, and the longer that they were thinking that it was nothing, the better that things were going to be for them both, and that was something that I knew for a fact that I could use as a sincere justification if they were to try and ask me what was happening. It just made so much more sense to be keeping them out of this one, especially since it had seemed like more truth was coming forward.

"Sheldon, are you doing okay? You look like you are not in a very good mood." Ashley was telling me, and then I was looking at her, and the way that I was shooting a glance at her was showing that this was not the time for me to be messing around with her, and that I was just wishing that I could get some time to actually think things out.

"Just heard a really strange conversation, and it is making me feel a bit uncomfortable." I said, and then I was looking right at her, as if feeling like I was able to just leave it alone at this. I was seeing her looking like she was wishing to say more, but just remained silent here.

"Do you think that it is going to be helping you out for a while?" Dakota asked, and I was shocked to be hearing them having at least any form of pretend interest in what was happening. I was glad to be seeing them at least willing to pretend, but that was still something that I was feeling like was going to be a massive mistake. It was just getting a bit worrisome for me.

"Yeah, I think that I might be finding something. I think that I might be willing to leave it all alone though. I think that I might not feel too right telling you guys what I am finding." I was saying, and then I was smiling for a few seconds, as if feeling like the longer that I might pretend like everything was fine, the more that I could get them to not be feeling too different.

"Honestly, I am going to just try and be careful here. Sorry for not keeping you guys more in on this. But I just think that I might have to try and find something else, or just leave this place for the night." I was saying, and then I was wondering if they were going to try and tell me more, or if they were going to try and respect what I was saying more.

I was starting to smoke a cigarette here, and then I was seeing that Dakota was just looking like he was sort of confused, and I was seeing him looking like he was willing to support me, and support what I was doing. But he was just wanting to see if I could finally get him to hear things.

"I mean, I know that you are probably going to do whatever you want, and that nothing I will say or want to say would change anything, so I am not going to try and stop you on this. All that I will say is that I just hope that you are going to be safe while going at this at least. Do you think that you can be able to at least give me that?" Dakota asked, and then I was sighing, and then I was slowly nodding at this.

"Yeah, I can at least do that. You do not need to be too worried about anything like this. Thanks for trying to be supportive here." I was saying, and then I was looking right at him, wanting to see what he was going to be saying right there. I was seeing that there was a small amount of uncertainty that was going on with it. So he was just sighing, and refused to be saying anything here.

"Alright, well it seems like you do not want to be talking about this too much. Maybe you're a bit worried about what can be exposed if we do this. So I will leave you alone here." He was saying, and I was glad to be seeing him dropping the subject for once. This time because he was actually respecting me, and not because he was wanting to play with me here.

I was seeing that the door was open again, which was showing me that at least there was a good chance that at the very least those guys were no longer talking up there. I was feeling like I was needing to just go on and perhaps see if there were some notes up there or what not. I was also remembering to be careful in order to make sure that nobody was wanting to question me if they were in the room as well.

So as I was walking up the stairs, I was just telling myself to be careful, and I was thinking that I would only be in there for a couple of minutes. I was glad to be seeing Harold looking like he was having the time of his life. I was willing to just use that as a minor exploitation of the fact that I would go in there, and know that he was not going to try and stop me.

The only reason why I was thinking that Harold being in a good mood was a great thing was the fact that when I was hanging out with him next, he might not be too angry with me if I was doing something that was going to be considered wrong. He was going to just tell me to be relaxed, and remind me that I was not going to be making a big deal out of it all.

Eventually, I was inside of that room, and I was just seeing a big desk in the middle of the room, and I was feeling like there was a good chance that the desk was going to be where I was needing to be. I was walking to the desk, and then I was sitting down, and I was taking a calm and deep breath. Feeling like I was just needing to be as careful as humanly possible.

I was seeing a drawer, and then I opened up the drawer, and I was willing to be careful here. I was seeing that there was a blue file. I was opening up the file. The file was a list of dates, and when I was looking deeper, I was even noticing that there were a bunch of notes here.

I was looking around, and the entire time that I was opening up these notes, I was just scared out of my mind, and I was feeling like I was going to get caught any second. But if I stole them, then I was having a feeling that I was going to be tied to the theft. I was thinking that as bad as this was, this was the easier and safer route.

As I was looking deeper at the names, and was taking some serious time to be looking at this, I was seeing that one of them was a name that was somewhat familiar with me. I was seeing that it was only a few weeks ago, and I was shocked when I was starting to realize that there was a good chance that this was the fucking person who went missing that started my interest in this.

Almost hard to believe that if I had no interest in looking into what happened to this eighth grade girl, then any chances of her being saved would have been thrown away, and any chances of me trying to sicnerely look into this whole labyrinth thing would have been gone.

For better or for worse, this girl was literally the only reason that I was looking into any of this in the first place. And I was thinking once again, that I was needing to be looking into this as much as possible. I was needing to be making it all worth it.

I was then feeling like I was needing to find out what Harold knew about this person. There was going to be no fucking way around it. I was needing to know what he had known, and maybe if he was going to be easy on me, he might have become somewhat of a ally here. As hard as that might have been to imagine at first.

I was taking a long and deep breath, and I was walking around, after I basically slammed the fucking note back in there, to just make it look like I was doing nothing to it, and I was looking around as much as possible, to see what Harold might have been doing. I needed him to listen to me that this was not a joke.

When I was looking around hard enough, I was seeing that he was talking with a couple of women. When I was staring down at him, and I was seeing him so fucking happy, I was angry, and I was feeling like he surely must have known better than to do this. But then I was remembering to calm down and remind myself for a couple of things.

I was reminding myself that in all honesty, he might not have known any better, and that maybe this was something one of his parents were doing. You know, I was feeling like maybe he was needing to just give him a chance. And maybe there was something that I was needing to remember when I was looking at him, and something that he was needing to remind me of.

Maybe he really was happy with those girls right now. And if he was happy right now, and if he was doing what he had wanted at this party, his fucking party, then what the fucking hell was I to try and stop him from doing something that I knew he was going to favor instead? I mean, I was feeling like I was needing to actually keep that in mind before I talked with him here.

I was sighing, and while I still wanted to speak with this man, and I was still very much in the mood to hear what he was wanting to tell me, if he did want to tell me anything, I was feeling like I just needed to give him a chance. I was needing to let him have his moment, and I was needing to remember that I was not him.

He was in no way forced to be having as much of a desire to learn more here than he does. I mean, I would not understand having no interest in the subject, and I would not understand how somebody can be that indifferent here, but at the same time, it was entirely up to him, and I was having no fucking right to stop him from being himself.

In a way, as much as I was hating to admit it, I was willing to concede the fact that maybe in a way, I was wishing that I was like this again. I was thinking that if I was this way, and just as careless, that maybe something like this would be a good thing, and it would remind me of the days when I was happier and not as worried about things that were all going on around me, which almost seemed like a blessing now.

I was down in the main room where the party was at, and I was just waiting around for a few minutes, just trying really hard to pretend like I was going to not be giving off any bad impressions here. So with this, when I was seeing Harold was looking like everything was coming to a halt, I was going to just head to where he was at, and I was going to be making Harold talk right now.

When I was seeing that over time, Harold was talking less and less with those girls, and I was seeing him looking like he was still on top of the world, I was feeling like I was just needing to talk to him, and I was going to be making my point, to make him just be honest with me, and tell me every single thing that he fucking knew, no matter what.

Once I was sitting down next to him, I was sighing, and I was feeling like I was just needing to be patient, and I was going to have to be calm when I was speaking to him. I refused to be giving my cover away, and I was refusing to make it so fucking obvious what I was going to do.

"Hey Harold, I was wondering if I could be able to speak with you for a bit." I was saying, and I was feeling like I was needing to get him to be listening to me. I was seeing that no matter what he was wanting to say, that I was going to be making my point that I was not to be fucking around no matter what the case was.

"What are you wishing to discuss?" Harold asked, partially interested, but mostly annoyed, and I was feeling like I was just needing to be as patient as possible with him, and I was needing to be making it look like I was nit suspecting him, no matter what the fucking case was. "Sheldon, are you scared of something?"

"I was wondering if you had known some of the things that are in that office over there." I was asking, and then I was looking right at him, and he was scared out of his fucking mind when he was looking at me. He was clearly looking like he was wanting to just let this whole thing go. I was thinking that maybe it was my fault, but at the same time, I was just not even caring anymore.

"That is my fathers office. Nobody is ever fucking allowed up there. What the fucking hell were you doing there?" He asked, and I was seeing him looking like he was wanting to say something, but then I was holding my hands up, and i was wishing that I was going to get him to listen to me, no matter what he was personally feeling here.

"This is not time for you to be worrying about what your father was doing. There were a couple of people that went in there. I was just thinking that I could have found something." I was saying, and then he was looking like he was clearly looking like he had no idea what I was even wanting to accomplish right now. Well he knew, but I was thinking that he was refusing to truly process the fact that I had been actually doing this.

"Sheldon, why were you feeling like you were even needing to go in there? What were you feeling like my father was doing right now?" He asked, and I was seeing him just looking pissed now, and I was seeing that as long as I was not making my point here, I was not going to be getting him to listen to me, and that I just needed to speak quietly here.

"I was just trying to find something that might have brought some fucking context to this town. I was just trying to see if there was something that I might have been missing. I know you might not like that, but I was just keeping my fucking options open." I was saying, and then he was just clearly looking like he was wishing that I had never even brought up this, and that he was unable to ever forgive me here.

"Okay, fine, I guess that maybe that makes some sense, as much as I hate to admit it. But Sheldon, please explain to me what you were able to find?" He was saying, and I was seeing him looking like he was geting increasingly worried about what I was saying here. I was wanting him to not be playing any more fucking games, and I was going to see what he was going to be telling me here.

"Come talk with me in my car, if you want to know more. I think that surely you must understand what I am just trying to accomplish. I want to make sure you are safe." I was saying, and then I was relatively certain that he was not going to be understanding what I was doing, but at the same time, I was just not even caring.

We were both getting up, Harold not excited at all, and then we were going to my car, and the entire time we were walking, Harold was just feeling like we were feeling like we were wasting our time. Once in the car, Harold was looking right at me, as I was taking out a cigarette, and was ready to be speaking to him now.

I was then staring at Harold, and I was feeling like I was just needing to be as calm and collected as possible, to be making it so that way he was going to be getting the point. "Honestly, I think that maybe your father is aware of something that is going on here. I am aware if you want to deny it, or try and act like what I am saying is false, but I feel like something is happening here." I was shrugging, and I was waiting for Harold to be shooting me down.

"Involved in fucking what? I mean, I feel like I need to know what is happening here." After he was saying this to me, I was glad to be seeing him looking like he was willing to at least give me a chance to explain myself for a while. I was needing to find something to tell him, and I was needing to say it in a way he was going to understand, even if he fucking hated it.

"Involved with the people who are going missing. That is what I believe that your father is getting involved with. I think that he is going to try and find something to force you into this. You know, I think that he really could be taking a bunch of notes with information on all of this." I stared right at him, and then Harold just looked at me with total uncertainty.

"I guess that maybe something like this could be happening. But even if he is involved, there is nothing that you can fucking do about it, and I think that you are going to be setting yourself up for fucking suicide, knowing what he is able to accomplish." He was saying, and I was shocked to be seeing him at least trying to look like he was willing to see what I was believing.

"Sheldon, I know that you are really dedicated to something like this, and I know you want to know what happened to these people, and I can respect that. Whatever works for you. But come on, at least try and see what I am feeling here. You are doing something that is going to get yourself killed." After Harold was saying this, I was sighing, and I was needing to sell my point again.

"I saw pieces of paper in his office, and I was seeing a bunch of notes that were all related to something like business details, and fucking notes on that fucking case." I was saying, as if thinking that the more firm that I was going to be here, the better he would get it now.

"What types of notes were you finding anyways?" Harold asked, and I was seeing him looking like he was at least trying to be making me feel better here, and I was able to respect what he was saying. But I was wanting him to understand that there was no other fucking way now.

"They were pretty much all fucking information on deals that were being made. Well maybe not deals. But there were accounts of every single person who had gone missing, and they all have ea strange number next to it." I was shrugging, as if feeling like maybe I could have left it alone at this. "But in all honesty, I just feel like I want to know what those numbers are, so that way there is nothing that I am left unsure of." I was sighing, just trying to find something else to say now.

"Harold, I do not know why you are so worried about what I found. I mean, I guess that maybe because of the fact that it was your father, so I need to try and be respectful, but I don't really know what to be telling you right now." I was shrugging, and I knew that what I had said was just rude, but in a way, I was just not even caring anymore.

"I just think that we need to all be careful right now. You know, I mean, I know that sometimes it is going to be harder to just brush everything off, but I think that when you look at everything as one big conspiracy, you need to just chill out." He was saying, and I was feeling like I could see why he was feeling this way, and I could maybe respect the honesty.

"Sheldon, I think that if you can find out what the numbers are, and you can fucking find out what you are worried about, I guess that maybe I will see what I can help you out with. But I need proof. That being said, I do think that there is a chance that I can see why people are worried that things are going on here. After all, my dad is relatively shady." He was saying to me, and I was looking right at him, as if feeling like I was needing to see where he was coming from.

"So you do admit that something is going on with your father? I mean, I an not too sure what to be saying right now. I was just kind of shocked is all." I was saying, and I was feeling like maybe I was needing to be giving him a bit of a break, and he was just looking like maybe there was a part of him that regretted what he had just said now.

"I mean, I never once said that I thought he was pure. I know for a fucking fact that he is not. I know that he has done many bad things, but I just feel like there are more to it than the idea of him being this evil businessman." He was saying, and even with what he was saying, I could see that deep down, from the look on his eyes, he really was not sure of what he was saying, and did not know if he believed it himself.

"I guess that maybe that makes some sense. I mean, I think that there are things that my father is saying that is starting to scare me a bit. I mean, I feel like I need to give him a chance here, but at the same time, I just really have no idea what to be saying. I just think that I will want to see what he could be telling me here." I was sighing, knowing full well that what I was saying was pretty much throwing my father under the bus.

"Well, I think taht for both of our sake, it might be best to give this discussion a rest for the time being." After he was telling me this, I was sighing, feeling like I was just trying to find a way to make him see what I was even fucking feeling now. "But Sheldon, are you going to ever try and see what he might know, if he might know anything at all?"

"I guess that if I want to be as objective as possible, I will have no fucking choice. You know, I will have to do something if I feel like maybe I can see what people are really all believing in here." I was saying, and then I was shrugging, feeling like I was just needing to make him understand that I was not wanting to hurt him.

"Well, I guess that maybe I can wish you fucking luck. You know, I will just can find a way to be making it work. You know, I think that even if I do not agree with what you are saying all together, I do appreicate what you are wanting to accomplish, and I guess that I will just be leaving things all alone." Eventually, he shrugged, and left things alone.

I was looking ahead, and I was seeing a couple of grls alking by in the area, and I was seeing that they had saw where Harold was, and I was seeing that they were both really fucking excited to be seeing Harold. I was shocked to be seeing some people happy to be hanging out with him at all, but I decided that I was going to leave him alone.

"I better be going. If you want to find something that can help you out, then be my guest, and I will not stop you." After he had said that to me, I was sighing, and I was feeling like I was making a big fucking mistake, and I was thinking that I could have just done so much better to help him out now.

Once Harold was out of the car, I was feeling like I needed to be happy that he was willing to give me this much, and then I was starting up my car. I was not really wanting to do this, but when I was seeing who was coming out of the house, I was feeling like I just needed to get the hell out of here. I was needing to fucking save myself for once. So with this, I was starting the car, to get away from those two men.

I was starting up my drive, and I was feeling like I was just needing to get the heck out of here. I did not even care where I was going, as long as I was just not going to be in that area. As long as I was not there, then there was a good chance that I could be safe, and those fucking assholes were not going to be putting me in danger.

I was smoking a cigarette, and the entire time that I was smoking this cigarette, I was reminding myself of how hard it was going to be to pretend like to those people that I was innocent. They were not going to be buying what I said, and I was fully aware of that, no matter what I had wanted to even say.

Eventually, I was reminding myself that these guys were not going to fucking kill me, and that as long as my father and mother were around, and as long as they were important figures in town, I was going to be safe. I was feeling like the way that I was going to be feeling about them now was fucking rude. The idea of virtually exploiting them. But in a way, I was almost just not even giving a shit now.

When I parked the car, I was sighing for a while, and then I was seeing the other cars getting closer to where I was. I was feeling like they were not going to try and speak to me, and I was feeling like no matter what I was going to say, they were not going to be playing around. I was needing to just be honest with them, and maybe they might be able to respect the honesty of what I was doing at the moment.

He was coming up to me, and I was sighing, and I was just rubbing my eyes for a while, and I was telling myself that no matter what the hell I was even going to be telling them, they were not going to listen to me, and I almost felt like maybe I was just needed to wander away, and that would have been the only way to fucking save myself.

Eventually, he knocked on my window, and then I was lowering the window, and then I was staring right at him when I was done, and then I was feeling like I needed to just be patient with him, and not be showing any fucking signs of weakness. "Young man, have you been up to much trouble lately?" The guy asked, and then I was staring right at him, and I was wondering what his point was, and I was wondering what he was thinking he could try and steal from me. But I was sighing, and I felt like I just needed to look like I was not going to be broken.

"I was just hanging out with some friends. Nothing too big of a deal." I was saying, and then I was staring right at him, and I was hoping he was going to buy what I had just said. I was hoping he was not going to be acting like I was just lying or whatever. "I was going to be heading home rather soon, so I was not too worried about it." I was hoping beyond god they would buy it.

"Are you going out, and trying to force people to tell you things about your friends?" After the guy asked me this, I was gulping, and I was feeling like that was not the proper reaction, and I was feeling like if I did not start bullshitting enough, they were going to be aware that I was not ready for something like this at all.

"I was just kind of curious about their friends. I mean, I guess that maybe I was just one stubborn bastard." I was saying, and then I was hoping he was going to be leaving this whole thing alone. "I was just wanting to see if they knew anything about what was going on, and I guess that maybe I was just letting that get in the way." I was sighing, and felt like I could have left him alone.

"You do not understand what you are saying. This place is dangerous. You do not need to be making things any worse for you and your friends." After he was saying this to me, I was staring at her, and I was shocked at what he was saying, and I was sighing, feeling like I was just needing to be calm and rational, and remember where I was going now. But then I was wanting to just make him feel like I was safe.

"I know that this place is dangerous. You know, I just feel like I want to help my friends out in feeling like they could be able to get some closure to what is happening out at town." I was sighing, and then I was looking at him, wondering if he was going to be buying what I had just said. Looking at his face, and looking at what he was clearly wanting to say, I was feeling like I was needing to just try harder now.

"That is not going to work. Just try and stay safe, and do not do anything that is going to be getting yourself in trouble." After he had said this to me, I was sighing, and I was feeling like no matter what he was going to be telling me, I was thinking that he was up to something. I was fully aware that I was not to buy any of his fucking bullshit for a second.

When he was saying this, I was shocked at this, and I was just looking down on the wheel, and I was aware that he was probably just wanting to make himself look good for me, and that he really did not feel good about helping me out. That being said, part of me was able to appreciate the fact that he was willing to at least pretend like I was fine here.

Eventually, once they were gone, I was starting to grip my wheel tightly, and I was just fucking pissed at what he was saying. I was taking out a cigarette, and then I was sighing, and I was feeling like I was just needing to get the hell out of here. I was then feeling like I could follow them for a while, and I could go on and see what they might have been willing to tell me now, and I was going to see if they were really going to actually do something. I was scared, and I would see what they might say now.

I was starting to drive along for a while, and I was feeling like perhaps when I was going to be speaking to him if he did catch me, and when I was going to be confronting him again, and then I could just sort of bullshit my way out of this. I was thinking about how hard that something like this could be. But I was thinking about how much I was needing to just give this whole thing a chance before I did something.

Eventually, when I was driving along for a while, and I was seeing that there was a certain path that these guys were taking. As I was driving in this direction, I was feeling like I was just going to have to be rather fucking careful here. I was seeing the car going to a somewhat open clearing near the forest, and I was aware that there was no chance that they could be here for no real good reason, and that they must have had a plan.

When I was parking the car, I was starting to follow for a while, and I was seeing the two men waling to the clearing, where there were a lot of trees in the area, and then I was seeing that when they were in the clearing, there was virtual total silence. And I was seeing that these guys were clearly going on to wait for something, and I was wondering what they were waiting for.

I was taking out another cigarette, and I was hiding behind a tree, and I was going to be making sure that I could decrease my chances as much as possible of ever getting caught. When I had been thinking about this all, and I had been thinking about what these guys were up to, I was just trying to tell myself to be calm and collected, and that surely there was a good fucking reason behind it all.

Eventually, another car was parking, and when this car was parking, I was seeing that the two guys in the car that followed looked glad to be finally seeing these guys ready and just about to get the business discussion over with. I was feeling scared out of my fucking mind, but I was feeling like this was getting increasingly closer to the jack pot that I was ready for. So with this, I was just telling myself to be calm and collected, and hear all that they had wanted to say.

Once the guy in the second car got out, they were getting right to the discussion, and they were not fucking bullshitting around at all. "The transaction was a great success, and the money will be here in eight days." After the voice from the second car said this, I was not totally confused, and I was wondering what the fucking hell was going on, and I was wondering what these guys were even trying to accomplish now.

"How much did the transaction come out to?" The guy who spoke to me earlier said, and I was clearly just wondering what the hell these guys were talking about when they were saying the transaction. What were these guys doing, and what dirty business were they trying to be running behind the scenes, and I was wondering what the point to any of this even was. I was getting annoyed, and I was fucking angry at what these people were clearly just trying to accomplish.

"It came to about eighty thousand dollars. Not a great amount, but enough to hold us over until the next one, which is in three weeks." After the voice that srated this whole discussion said this, my mind was just feeling like this was entirely changing the fucking view of the game. These people were aware that something was happening, and I was scared of what the men wanted to do, and I was just thinking about what these guys did, and I was just confused as to what was going on here that was making the fucking transactions so expensive.

Well, I was now aware that there was something going on here that was virtually giving this entire town a shit ton of money, as I was relatively certain that this was pretty much the only thing providing some fucking closure on what had been happening. I was thinking that I was going to be seeing what these men were not telling me. Although I did know one thing for sure now...

No matter what these guys were going to try and tell me, I was not going to be ever giving them any fucking hope. They were burning their bridges too far beyond hope, and I was going to be a independent man going forward, and I was going to fucking hear what these men were doing in my fucking presence.

"Alright, well now that we got a good idea on what we are supposed to hold off of, do you think that there is any chance that those kids are going to be finding out what we have been doing lately." After the guy was saying this, I was feeling like this was the worst thing that could be hearing. I was thinking that maybe they were aware of what I was doing, and they were just trying to be hiding the fact that this was knowledge known to some.

Let me be clear here. I did not need to believe that Harold knew what was happening here, and I doubt that he had any involvement here. I was thinking that no matter what Harold and I were thinking on a regular basis, and no matter if we were fans of each other or not, I was sure that he had nothing to do with this. I was feeling like I was just needing to look at his father.

The only thing that I was certain of doing was that I needed to go on and speak to that man. I was needing to see what this man was going to tell me, and if he knew what happened to these people. I mean, I literally already knew the fucking answer, but I was feeling like I was needing to be giving him a chance to show me if he was wanting to work with me or not. I was thinking that if he was going to work with me here, we could be allies. If he was not, then I was going to be making him aware that this was something that would drive us apart.

"The kid has no real information to be going off of. No matter what he might be feeling like he is finding, nobody is going to be feeling like they were needing to be listening to him. He clearly know what he is doing, and I think that it will only be a matter of time before he understands that he is just wasting his time, and will be letting people take care of it themselves." The third voice, and the second from the first car, said, and I was feeling fucking furious here.

"I don't know. I think that it will be for the best to at least be careful with him going forward. Make sure that no matter what we are feeling, nobody is going to actually listen to him. If he starts to get people to believe in what he is saying, that might be the worst thing that could be happening to us." The guy who had just shwon up had said, and then I was sighing, and I was feeling as if I could not hear this anymore. I did not want to be hearing them talk about me anymore.

I did not care if it really was about me or not, I was just feeling like I had no desire to be hearing it anymore, and I was aware that no matter who it was, that they were aware something was happening, and that they were going to fucking work hard to be making it so that nobody could take what was said seriously. I was realizing that regardless of if it had anything to do with me or not, that this was something going on for a long time, and had been dragging things down to us all.

What I was hearing next made me just fucking leave the area. I was hearing one of the people going to one of the cars, and pulling something out of it. I had no idea what they were pulling out, and I had no idea what even was happening anymore. I was sighing, and I knew for a fucking fact that this was not going to be something I could mess around with. I knew that these guys were working with something, and if I saw it, I was going to be getting myself killed now.

There was no way in hell that I was going to stay there any longer. I was thinking that no matter how much I was wanting to help people out, and no matter how much I was wanting to sort of keep things together and know the truth here, I did want to live as well. I was thinking that my life at that moment was more important than anything else in the world.

I was going to be heading out to the fucking car, and I was going to just drive off. I was going to be going home, and I was going to stay there for as long as possible. And when I was feeling like there no more excuses, I was going to leave the huse, and I was going to continue my investigation, and I was going to head towards Harold's father, and I was going to hear what he was wanting to tell me, and if I could help him out.

Once I was in the car once again, I was rubbing my eyes for a bit, and I was then thinking that I was just needing to be careful now, no matter what we were going to do now. As I was driving along for a while, and as I was scared out of my fucking mind over what we were even doing now. I was then just feeling like my parents were not going to ever support me. Nothing could ever fucking work, as much as I was hating to admit it.

I was aware of one fucking thing. That no matter what my wishes were, nobody was going to fucking listen to me, and nobody was going to be willing to help me. I was fucking alone, and I was going to be on a one man mission going forward, no matter what I had wanted to be doing now.

...

When the session was over, and Shedon was done speaking, he was looking right at his therapist, and he was wondering what she was going to tell him this time. He was feeling like he was really in no fucking mood to be hearing her tell him how he was doing the right thing or whatever. He was not going to hear it.

"Sheldon, how long d you wait before you decided to go on and continue to look? I mean, I know that it is none of my business, but I am just kind of curious if you did lay low, or if you went right back to things." After she was telling him this, Sheldon was sighing, and he was feeling like she was never going to be listening to him. He was hating the truth of it as well.

"The truth is that I did not even wait more than a couple of days. People were wondering why I left the party early, and people were wondering why I was just wanting to get out of there without oing anything to hang out or whatever. You know, I wanted to give them a good answer, but that was just not going to fucking work. But I knew that by that point, I had gone too deep." Sheldon said, and he was thinking that anybody who said he had not gone too deep were just people who did not really know what he was getting himself into now.

"Did you try and speak to any of your friends about it? I mean, you were saying that you were feeling virtually alone here, but with everything that you had heard, surely they would have helped you out if you had offered, right?" She was asking, and then Sheldon was looking down on the table, and he was feeling like there was no way he was going to be getting out of this, no matter how hard he was trying.

"I mean, maybe you're right. I think that there is a chance that I could have tried to get them to listen to me. But I think that with something like that, you just got to be playing by luck. And trust me when I say that I was not one fucking lucky bastard. But I do think that if I had tried to get them to listen, then maybe it could have worked." Sheldon admitted, and then he was looking right at her, as if feeling like he was just needing to see what she could have said here.

"I mean, it had looked like some of your friends were starting to be more willing to open up a bit. I think that they were willing to slowly give you more of a chance, if you had actually gotten something here..." She had said, and then he was thinking about it a bit longer. She was probably right. But then he was thinking about what he was needing to speak of next.

"Sheldon, what are you going to not tell me this time? I see that there is something that you are just not wanting to tell me, and I think that it might be important enough for you to just let me know what it is, that way we can work on making it better." After se was telling Sheldon this, Sheldon was feeling like if he was going to be speaking to her any further, he was needing to understand what her stakes were here.

"I think that there is nothing that I am hidingh now. I mean, I know that sooner or later, you will pick up on it. What I am doing right now is just making sure that what I do tell you is going to be told to you in a orderly fashion that you can understand the point of what I am trying to tell you." Sheldon was saying, as if he was wishing to make her feel like he was really still looking at this from a great perspective.

"Oh, okay. That is not a response that I was expecting you to give me. I was expecting something there. But if there really is nothing, and you are just sort of in a rough spot, and that you are slowly working for it, then I will just let you continue, for the time being." After she was telling him this, Sheldon was tired of everything going on, and he was just staring right at her.

"I mean, the thing you might not understand is how much I hate it when people act like I was lying all the fucking time. People act like I am either just a liar, or somebody who was pretending." Sheldon was saying, and he was wondering if she was thinking that he was lying to her, and if she was going to be joining in on what those people were saying to him. He tried to pretend like he was not worried on what they said, but that was impossible.

"I mean, there is no reason to be lying. I mean, unless if you are just trying to pretend like something is going on for the sake of making a story. But I doubt that you have that level of a imagination." She said, and then Sheldon was looking right at her, and he was finding it really funny how she was telling him this, and that he had no fucking imagination. In all honesty, that was not even beginning to fucking cut it.

"I mean, I think that if I was having this good of a imagination, and if this was just a story for the sake of being a story, you might have seen me going to Hollywood, and you would be seeing me trying to be making a name for myself. But that is something that even if I wanted to pursue, I would be fucking lost on. There is no way in hell that I am getting any fucking career, and that is something that I made peace with." Sheldon said, and then he was feeling like she was just lost on what to tell him.

"I will just try and find a way to be making my story make fucking sense for you guys. I think that you might fucking be lost right now. I mean, there are some things that are going on here that might be a bit hard to understand." Sheldon said, and then he was looking right at her, as if he was wanting to test her, and see how patient she was going to be with this, or if what he was saying was going to actually affect her.

"No the story is not that hard to understand. I mean, you are giving me small doses that I might be able to understand. What I am having a hard time understanding was the fact that you are finding all of these things, and yet you keep saying that there is no people that will be willing to believe in you. I mean, there is no way that something will just be thrown under the radar, if you were able to find all of this proof." She was saying, and then Sheldon laughed at this assumption.

"You are giving these guys way too fucking much credit. I think that deep down, you might see how something like this is just not fucking possible. I mean, when you have a conspiracy, yes it is something that will be bound to be broken some day. But if it is solid, and if it is something held together, that breaking point will be held off for a long ass time." Sheldon looked right at her, and he was hoping deep down that she was not going to be acting like what he was saying was crazy.

"I mean, I would have tried to take pictures of these notes, and I would have maybe even tried to sneak in with a friend, if I was aware that something like this was coming up." After she was saying this to Sheldon, she looked at him, and she was clearly just wanting to see if he was going to be thinking at all on what she was telling him.

"I guess that maybe I could have done something like that. But I will be honest when I say that this was something that I was not thinking too much about. I was just trying to figure out if something was going on, rather than how I could expose it. Maybe I knw now that the two things are much more connected than I ever wanted to admit. But for now, at the moment, I think I refused to admit it." Sheldon told her, and then he was shrugging, as if feeling that was a shitty defense.

"I guess that maybe I should be more nice to you. I mean, in all honesty, you were at least trying to go on and make it work out. You were always just wanting to do whatever you could, and mabe there was always a point where something like this could just never work out. But I am sorry that you felt this fucking out of it." After she told him this, Sheldon was sighing, and he was feeling like she would never fucking understand it at all.

"I mean, I think that the one thing that I really regret was not making it more clear that I was wanting Dakota and Ashley to be helping me out. I was always pretending like they were not that needed in my fucking plans, but in all honesty, I wished that I was able to be getting their fucking help. You know, I just wish that I could have talked to them about how much their help would have mattered." Sheldon was telling her, as if he was just sort of preaching to nothing now.

"You were just wanting to make sure that nothing happened to them though. I mean, I understand that you wanted to be helping others out. I understand that you are just wanting to make sure that they at least were safe, but do you think, and I say this with respect, that keeping them safe, might have been doing more harm than good in the general whole?" She was asking him, and then he was sighing, as if he was just unsure what to tell her there.

"I guess that maybe to some extent, that I could have made that sacrifice if I had to. I mean, I would have hated making it, and I could have felt like a fucking monster, and I could have tried my fucking hardest to make sure that they would never have noticed it. But I guess that in the end, I would have made it, to make sure that nothing would change." Sheldon was saying, and then he was sighing, genuinely hating the fact that he was willing to admit something like this to her.

"Sorry for bringing up that hypothetical. I guess that maybe with the way that you were speaking of it, that I might habe been able to speak of it in a deeper sense. But I guess that maybe you might not have liked something like this. I do think that maybe I could have gone at it in a different way. That being said, I just think that something like this would still have been a terrible world to be living in. Having to choose what you would want to do with your friends." After she was saying this to Sheldon, he was shrugging for a moment longer.

"Honestly, I am just shocked that you are this interested in seeing what I believe. I mean, I wish that I could have given you more. I just think that when you ask me all these decent questions, and all these questions that I need to genuinely think on, then I guess that maybe I am just sort of finally feeling like somebody is able to really make me believe it all." Sheldon was saying, and he was going to just find something to change the way that things were.

"I think taht when I see all the ways that you were going at it, I just sort of feel like I might have been able to see where you were coming from, and I am just trying to see what I could have done if I were in the same spot. You know, I just think that something like this would be for the best. That way we could work together on making it all work out a bit easier." She was saying, and then after she was telling him this, Sheldon laughed at this, as if finding it kind of funny now.

"I think that if everybody was like this with me, then I would have been able to get this throgh much faster and better than before. I wish that I had people that were able to respect the way that I was wanting to go at it as much as you did." After Sheldon was telling her this, he was wondering what he even wanted to be saying now. "I just think that I should have been able to not trust the people that I did go on and trust too much. I think that when I was hanging out with them, I got to get weak around them, and that was why I made the mistake."

"Who did you feel like you trusted that you never should have?" After she had asked him this, he was wanting to just tell her the truth, and tell her the one person that took things too far, and the one person who abused what they had set up with. But he was feeling like if he had done something like this, she would have never understood, and defended them.

"Trust me when I tell you that you will know soon enough. I trust that much to you. There is no way that you will not be able to figure it out one day. The only thing that I could have done at the time was just be alone. But there was something that was making it feel like this almost had to be done." Sheldon said, smilin at her, and he was feeling as long as he could defend himself, then maybe he was going to be getting out of this relatively fine.

"I will leave it alone, and I am sure that you got something to explain it all one day, so I will respect your wishes that you will be hearing me leaving it alone." His therapist was telling him, and there was something in her mind that she was feeling like she just needed to try and get to know. Something that was sort of making her feel like he was needing to know the truth of the story.

"I guess that in a way, even though you are saying that you believe me right now, and you are saying you support me right now, I just think that when you get to the end, you will literally be like every fucking other person who has spoken to me, and you will be telling me that I was lying." Sheldon was telling her, and he was feeling like he was needing to be nicer to her about it, but he was not fucking ready for it at all.

"I have believed everything that you told me. I have no reason to be thinking that this would start to change. I think that the only thing that I am still missing out is understanding the addiction. I mean, I feel like I still need to try and piece that together, since that is just something that I feel like I am getting nowhere with. How that fucking addiction started up in the first place." She was saying to him, and then he was feeling like he was going to have to try and tell her something else, to get her mind out of this, but decided that the addiction was to come up.

"Honestly, that addiction will be making all too much sense one day. I think that when you understand what started that addiction, and you understand why I just never went back after I started, I think that even if you do not agree with why I was doing it, and if you do not agree with my method, that you will understand why I was feeling that was genuinely the only thing that I could have done to be making it any different." After Sheldon was telling her this, the one thing that he was wondering was how he could have gone through with making it seem like he was being more polite.

"Do you think that the addiction was something that you genuinely needed?" She was asking him, and then he was sighing, as if feeling like that was going to be a hard one to answer. That was going to be the hardest one to be telling her, since he was feeling like he was needing to be perfect with this response, no matter what he was going to be saying. He was needing to make sure that the response was going to be to the point.

"Yeah, but I think that there might have been different ways that I could have done it. But at the time, I was feeling like there was no other way." Sheldon was telling her, and then he was standing up, feeling like he did not need to be speaking any further on it, and that he would leave it alone now.

"See you next week." Sheldon said, and he was winking at her, as if feeling like seeing her again was going to be the best part of the week, and it was going to be the only part he was going to genuinely enjoy. It was the only thing every week that gave him a momentary relief of the outside world, which was sometimes even fucking worse than the stories he was going through with her, as hard as that was to imagine.