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Faded Desires

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He had never intentionally invaded her privacy before, but their closeness was something he found himself seeking out in the fade. He felt it like an unquenchable thirst, willing him to find her. Once or twice he had steered his way towards one of her dreams, always in a disguised form and never lingering. Often it would be a simple glimpse in on her when they were parted for long stretches of time or if she were away from Skyhold without him.

Generally it was innocent and disjointed, as dreams often are. She would shift her mind rapidly between the past and present to imagine a future or a world she could create through thought alone. She would walk with her family, or tend to her daily work; she would laugh with her friends. Things she lived, she dreamed. Occasionally there were nightmares, brought on by the trauma she had suffered. By his own doing, he would always remind himself. He tried to call calming spirits to surround her before he departed again. Her nightmares had been more intense since she recovered her stolen memories, and he told himself it was another reason to search for her, in case he could offer some relief.

They had shared a kiss in the fade, but they had become friends as well. He knew she wouldn't wait for him forever, despite what she said about taking all the time he needed. She was beautiful and fierce and many desired her as well. She was far from naive about the power she held over others, and not just as the Inquisitor. Her charisma drew people to her, as was obvious by her growing band of followers, but also by the stares that often followed her. Should she wish it, she could have many suitors vying for her company, and as he found his way to her now, he discovered she did.

The Commander, bare chested, clad in only his cloak and gloves stood locked in her embrace. She ruffled the mantle of feathers around him and teased his mouth with her own. Shaken by this sight, slipping from his careful concealment, Solas was now fully visible to the Inquisitor and her dreamy lover. Momentarily he considered the possibility they had found each other this way and he had truly misread things between them. He pushed the thought away, doubtful either had the skill to move about the Fade as he did. A new fear pulled at him; perhaps a desire demon was using the former templar’s form against his friend.

“Solas,” Her voice was clear and soft as she smiled at him. “we've been waiting for you.” She wore only a thin shift, likely something she purchased in Val Royeaux. It draped over her, exposing her toned arms and accentuating the delicate curves of her body.

She may wake and not remember my presence at all, he thought, desperate for a way to avoid her, knowing he intruded on such an intimate part of her life. He turned to bring the camouflage over himself again and slip away, begging her silently to forget upon waking that he had made an appearance. Her hand circled around his wrist as he fled, pulling him back to her, pressing her lips to his.

She tasted of honey and lavender, her tongue darting into his mouth, coaxing him to return her hunger. They had shared something similar in the Fade once, but this was more primal. He feared she would sense his reservations and know him to be present in her fantasy rather than a figment of it. His own desire haunted him, and he found it too easy to surrender to her here. It had been so very long since someone touched him, even longer since it had been with such loving hands. Everything was easier here, in this realm in which he had dwelled so long.

Grabbing her waist with a forcefulness he would never have allowed himself in the waking world, he pressed himself against her and kissed her feverishly. The sounds of her breathing and moaning mixed with the softness of her lips made it difficult to contain himself. Even more so when she ran her hand down his hip and onto his thigh.

Solas’s desk materialized from her thoughts to rest to his left. The gloved hand of the Commander settled onto her hips from behind and the other swept the hair from her neck. Solas was now eye to eye with the man, the Inquisitor between them, writhing her body against them both. Cullen was not real, of course, and it was clear to him now that she was not the victim of a demon of lust, but simply a vivid dreamer. Somehow that made it worse, knowing that she had intended all of this for Cullen. Ashling moaned as the man kissed her neck, leaving a trail of red where his stubble rubbed against her skin. His gloves were suddenly missing, as his bare hands moved to cup her ass. Her head rolled backwards, thrusting her hips into Solas, causing his breath to catch and his body to respond, despite his hesitation.

He hadn't meant to indulge himself but he couldn't help but welcome the feelings she stirred in him. Her hand reached for his hardness, cupping him through the thin fabric he wore. As her tongue played across his lips he shuddered in response.

“Good,” she cooed, lowering herself between the two men, “Very good.”

There was something greedy in her smile as she loosened his lacings and slid his length free of his clothing. He almost stopped her, almost told her no, we can't, I can't, but seeing her and feeling her was too real now. He wanted to flee, to wake, but his desire held him steadfast. Getting to her knees, she used her other hand to touch the Commander, already exposed by her imagination.

His mind screamed at him that he should not be here, it was unacceptable for him to have allowed this to go on. But her warm, damp breath on him pushed all reason away as she flicked his head with her tongue. His eyes slammed shut, as he fought with his body to allow him to wake up. She stroked the length of him with her mouth and he surrendered to the sensation, letting out a groan.

He felt a strong hand cup his face as the Inquisitor continued to work him with her mouth, allowing his eyes to flutter open he saw Cullen's face floating before his.

There was no doubt the commander was a handsome young man. Maybe if he was young again, he would be inclined to see Cullen the way the Inquisitor did. Solas had certainly had his fair share of experiences, but those were different times, and none of those had been with humans. Solas reminded himself this was Ashling’s fantasy and not the motivations of the former Templar at all. In her fantasy, Cullen would be more than willing to engage in anything she found sexually gratifying. This version, her version of Solas would be the same.

It began as a fear of being discovered in her private thoughts, but now he was motivated by something else entirely. He hadn't brought any of this on. He wasn't the cause or the seducer in this encounter. In the waking world he might have allowed himself to imagine an intimacy between them, but she was in control here, this was what she wanted. This was what brought her pleasure.

And so he brought the man’s face to his own with a rough jerk of his hand tangling in the golden locks. Ashling gasped with delight at the image he had given her. In the Inquisitor's imagination Cullen tasted of sweet ale and smelled of leather, not wholly unpleasant, Solas thought, as their tongues met. Ashling replaced her mouth with her hand, her grip tightening slightly with her lust, working him in long slow strokes as she stopped to watch the two men leaning into each other above.

“Oh, yes,” She breathed, imagining herself free of the nightgown she had been wearing when Solas had stumbled into her dream.

He broke the kiss in favour of taking her in form fully. Her breasts were small and perfectly shaped; he couldn't help imagining how they would fit in his hands.The blush of her nipples was more prominent in their hardened state and he wondered how they would taste on his tongue. Her skin had a soft look about it, despite the muscle he knew was hiding beneath the curves of her hips. She had a series of long jagged scars that raked down her otherwise smooth back and an ass that looked exactly as he had imagined it a thousand times before. He revelled in the memories he had of feeling it under his hands. Her legs were long despite her limited height, and her calves lean. It was her thighs that unexpectedly pleased him most; they held power there and he longed to lose himself between them. Finally, he saw the thatch of dark hair where her legs met and suddenly he was salivating.

Reaching down for her, he guided her by the chin to stand again. She obeyed, releasing them both from her grip.

“You are so beautiful.” He couldn't help but risk breaking the character she had created for him. She was breathtaking.

“You truly are, my dear.” The imaginary Cullen added, and Solas knew he had succeeded.

Ashling turned her head, leaning her back against the Commander and inviting him in for a kiss. Her arms reached behind her head in a stretch that settled them in a loop around his neck. Solas saw his opportunity then, leaning in to press gentle kisses on to her ribs and trailing them down to her navel. She responded by spreading her legs slightly and moaning into Cullen’s mouth as she deepened their kiss.

Getting to his knees before her, Solas took hold of her thighs in that precious dip where they met her hips. He could see her desire glistening as he wet his lips with anticipation. Ashling’s gasp exploded from her as he ran his tongue slowly along the length of her lips, already so wet with wanting. Cullen's hands roamed to fondle her breasts and tease her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. Solas delved deeper with his tongue, lapping at her, looking to elicit more sounds he had never heard her make before.

The Commander of her imagination worked on her in all the ways he could not, and Solas was pleased to learn how she wanted to be touched. While Cullen's hands worshipped her breasts and caressed her body, his fictitious mouth teased her neck and ears with nipping teeth and sucking lips. He whispered things to her that Solas was unable to discern, but he was enjoying himself too much to care.

Closing his mouth over the the tiny bud that caused her to buck so delightfully, he sucked, flicking his tongue every few seconds, until she had ahold of his ears and was grinding herself into him. Broken syllables but no words formed from her beautiful mouth as she begged him with her body not to stop. Solas glanced up to watch her through his eyelashes as she watched him work. She bit her lower lip hard as Cullen's thumbs brushed over her nipples.

The Inquisitor let go of his head suddenly, throwing her arms backward around Cullen’s neck and using her strength to pull her legs up on to Solas’s shoulders. He fought hard to keep his own arousal in check as she shouted his name, her body shuttering in tiny earthquakes.

Catching his breath, suddenly the scene flipped and where his desk had once been beside him it was now a few feet in front of him. The Inquisitor’s hands grabbed at him, forced him towards his chair, his trousers sliding further towards the floor with each shuffling step he took under her guidance. Pressing her palm into his chest he obeyed and sat with a thud behind the desk. Ashling climbed astride him then, gliding herself along the length of him, slick and warm. He struggled to find the power to contain himself, as he was sure her fantasy would not end with him spent before she was completely satisfied.

The imaginary Cullen stood across the desk, slowly touching himself, waiting for her to instruct him. A satisfied grin spread across her face as she basked in the power of the moment.

“I've always wanted you to take me on this desk,” she said, leaning in to lick his ear from lobe to tip. “Where everyone can see.” The rotunda came to life around them, the sounds of the library and rookery above.

He couldn't have waited any longer, even with all the strength he had ever known. Wrapping his arms around her middle tightly, he lifted her from the chair and lay her back on the surface of the desk in front of him. Positioning his cock at her entrance, he pushed into her with a grunt, clapping both palms on to the edge of the desk. He moved uncontrollably, taken completely by the sensation. Her hands covered his, gripping his wrists as she pulled him into her deeper. He stood tall, thrusting again and again as she moaned and whined before him.

The Commander appeared again, leaning over the desk to take her nipple in his mouth, causing her to hiss in pleasure. He traced her breasts with his tongue, stopping to squeeze a nipple between his teeth or to steal a kiss from her panting mouth. Solas could feel himself getting close, watching her body bounce as he drove into her. Reaching out to place a thumb over the bundle of nerves between them, he hoped he could take her over the edge that was rapidly gaining on him.

He knew she was close when he saw the faces appear over the railings and her siren smile spread in appreciation of a fantasy perfectly played out.

Her back arched as she cried out “Solas, I'm yours!”

Cullen disappeared from her side, the rotunda faded, and Solas leaned in to kiss her deeply as he felt her walls tighten around him. He felt his release come and with it an overwhelming swell of emotion. Ashling’s arms circled him, pulling him down to rest his forehead on her breast. She kissed the top of his head and whispered, “Ar lath ma.”

He woke to find tears in his eyes and his sheets wet with his spending.