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The Colour of Your Voice (Rewrite) HIATUS

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Imagine it: Seeing colours everytime someone spoke, different colours for different voices.

Sounds peculiar, right? Well not for some people. Some people can taste music, hear images, and smell colours all due to crossed sensory wires in the brain. This mental condition is called synesthesia and only effects around 4% of people.

And Keith, surprisingly, is a part of that 4%.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"The sun sets on the evil eye, invisible to the Hollywood shrine, always on the hunt for a little more time, just another LA Devotee,"

Brendon Urie's golden voice rang throughout Keith's room as Keith himself scrolled aimlessly through Tumblr. His dashboard was a mix of fandoms, cryptids, and LGBTQ+ posts, some of which he reblogged, others he only liked. In all honesty? Keith was kinda bored. Shiro, Allura and Pidge were all at work. He supposed he could go and bother Matt but he was kinda freaking out about wedding preperations ("I like the sound of an outdoor wedding," "Um, no. First of all our wedding is in July and I have allergies, Shiro. Most of our guests might have allergies! Also what if we get mugged? I mean-" "Fine, we'll have an indoor wedding," "You're kidding right?")

Keith had tried to help with the wedding before, but it kinda resulted in Keith being kicked out the room for him 'not being serious about it' - which he totally was! All Keith did was suggest a space themed wedding! He thought it was a good idea since Shiro was an astronomer and Matt taught astrophysics at a college level. And also they kinda met in their shared astrophysics class at college so... Romantic, right?

Keith's thoughts were interuppted as his phone buzzed, causing him to jump a little at the noise. He looked at his phone screen to see a text from Pidge.

PidgeonLord: Can your bike fit two passengers?

Keith sighed at the message. Pidge must've just gotten off at work and needed a ride.

KnifeLord: Like, legally? No.

PidgeonLord: Fuck.

KnifeLord: Why what's up?

PidgeonLord: My friend's being a whiny ass bitch and won't get a cab bc it's 'not his turn to pay'

PidgeonLord: But i stg it is

KnifeLord: I could just give you guys the money for a cab

PidgeonLord: YOU KEEP YOUR GODDAMNED MONEY KEITH WE DON'T NEED IT

KnifeLord: Chill.

KnifeLord: Listen if you're struggling for money i'm here to help

KnifeLord: Just let me pay for the cab Pidge. Fuck it i'll even get you and your roommates pizza.

PidgeonLord: Fuck you you know I can't deny free food.

PidgeonLord: ......Thank you.

KnifeLord: No problem. But like, i'm coming over to because now I want pizza

PidgeonLord: kk


 

Lance stood outside the giant store, in the tacky uniform, freezing his ass off. He had argued with Pidge for around twenty minutes that he wasn't going to pay for a cab because 1) He is sure that it isn't his turn to pay and 2) cabs are expensive as fuck when you're more broke than a glowstick. And so that argument had resulted in Pidge contacting someone else to see if they could get a ride which Lance had felt kinda bad for. They shouldn't be wasting their money on them.

"Keith will be here in like, ten minutes," Pidge commented. "Oh and he's gonna buy us pizza,"

Lance blinked for a few seconds. "Why the fuck is he buying pizza?"

Pidge sighed. "Because he's a dick,"

Lance decided to not ask any further questions. Mostly because Pidge's answer had confused him and he honestly didn't want to be confused anymore. Lance felt a small buzz in his back pocket so he picked up his phone to see a message from Hunk on the group chat.

TheWholesomeOne: Are you guys gonna be home soon??

TheWholesomeOne: You got off of work like an hour ago and i'm scared you guys are dead

TheWholesomeOne: Hi if this is Lance and Pidge's kidnappers/murderers can you at least shoot me a message???

LovelyLance: Calm down we ain't dead

PidgeonLord: Speak for yourself

PidgeonLord: Btw Hunk no cooking tonite 4 u. My friends buying us pizza

SlimShaydy: You have other friends?

TheWholesomeOne: Shay! I'm dissapointed

TheWholesomeOne: You have other *real* friends?

LovelyLance: roasted

PidgeonLord: Yeah, unlike you

LovelyLance: double roasted

PidgeonLord: ttyl, my TRUE friend is here

Lance took his eyes off his phone to watch a cab pull up infront of them. Inside sat the driver and a hot guy. Like, an incredibly hot guy. His dark hair was kinda long, reminding him of a mullet but the good kind of mullet (If that even exists). His eyes were either violet or blue; Lance always had trouble telling the differences between those two shades. Lance could probably go on for a straight hour about how soft his skin looked, clear of pimples and zits.

Pidge pulled open the door to the cab so they and Lance could slide in. Luckily, Lance got the seat closest to the window because he was sure that if he say anywhere near Pidge's hot friend that he wouldn't be able to function.

"So how was work?" the guy asked. And honestly? Fuck that voice. It wasn't fucking fair.

"Fuck you,"

"Listen, we've been friends for years so uhh, no thanks," Pidge stopped for a minute.

"Keith shut your fucking mouth," Keith. The hot guy's name was Keith. Lance felt sorry that such an attractive guy got stuck with such an unattractive name. Lance decided that his voice probably didn't work right now and instead texted Pidge.

LovelyLance: I hate you.

Pidge glaced down at their phone.

PidgeonLord: What did I do this time?

LovelyLance: More like what u didn't do

LovelyLance: Why didn't you tell me your friend was a rlly cute guy?

PidgeonLord: He is?

LovelyLance: ohmyfuck are u blind?????

PidegonLord: No i'm ace.

"Sorry but uh, who are you?" Lance turned his attention from his phone to Keith, who stared expecting an answer.

"This is Lance. He kinda lost his voice today so it's kind of annoying that he's only been texting me all day." Pidge turned to Lance to give a fake glare and a wink. Lance had never platonically loved Pidge more than he did right now.

"Oh uh, I hope you get better soon," Keith said with a small slanted smile. Lance gave a small smile back along with a nod which, when he looks back on it was kind of embarrasing. "So Green, how many people do you live with again?"

As Pidge and Keith casually conversed, Lance look at Keith in confusion. Green? Was that like, some kind of inside joke between them?

LovelyLance: Green?

Lance had sent the message and he even saw Pidge get the notification, but they were too busy speaking to Keith to notice. Lance could only sit back and wonder for the rest of the cab ride.

TheWholesomeOne: What does green mean?

Oh shit he sent it to the groupchat

SlimShaydy: Not a creative colour

TheWholesomeOne: Shay nO!

PidgeonLord: I stg i'm putting this chat on do not disturb

LovelyLance: why'd Keith call you green?

TheWholesomeOne: Who's Keith?

PidgeonLord: *sigh* Keith is my friend and he calls me Green because sometimes he slips up and calls me the colour that my voice is.

SlimShaydy: Colour that your voice is?

PidgeonLord: oh rite yeah

PidgeonLord: I forgot to mention. He might do it to you guys so if he does just ask who he's refering to because sometimes he forgets other people aren't synesthetic like him

SlimShaydy: Oh okay!

SlimShaydy: Now i'm just curious as to what colour I am?

TheWholesomeOne: Most likely sunflower yellow, because just like sunflowers you brighten up my life

SlimShaydy: <3 <3 <3

LovelyLance: You guys are like, actually relationship goals


 

When the cab finally stopped, Keith noticed Lance practically rushing out of it and into the building. Strange. Keith looked over the apartment block to see it was actually kinda small? How the hell did they fit four people into one apartment?

"You guys don't... Actually live here do you?" Keith asked sincerely.

"Yes Keith, we do," Pidge said flatly. Keith looked at them in horror as they led him into the building.

"But- but it's so small!" They started walking up the stairs.

"We can't all afford mansions like you and Shiro." They stopped on the second floor where Pidge walked over to the door Lance was standing near. They took out their keys and led them inside.

"At this point i'm considering letting you guys move in with me and Shiro," Keith deadpanned.

Keith walked into the tiny apartment which was actually surprisingly clean considering there were four people living here. But it confused Keith due to the fact that the kitchen and living room had fused into one room? And excluding the one he just came through there were only three other doors?

"You must be Keith!" A dark yellow voice called out. Kind of like a dusty gold. There was suddenly a man in Keith's field of vision. "I'm Hunk. It's nice to meet you!" His voice was cheery and deep.

"It's nice to meet you! Pidge has told me about you guys!"

Hunk laughed. "Nice to know Pidge actually has other friends." He smirked slightly.

"Likewise." Pidge elbowed Keith for that.

"Whatever, just get us pizza, Kogane." Pidge huffed as they sat down on their couch.

"About that, you have to let us pay you back for that otherwise i'll feel bad," Hunk said, the faded gold colour almost seeping out his mouth.

"Honestly dude, no biggie." Keith waved him off as he joined Pidge on the couch. "Just tell me your orders and don't worry about the cost,"

Hunk fidgeted slightly. "Um. Shay'll want chicken and bacon, and i'll just have a hawaiian," 

Keith nodded even though he cringed at the thought of buying a pineapple pizza. He took out his phone and opened up google to get a pizza place's website. He started placing the orders online at the best pizza place in town. He got a large hawaiian, a large chicken and bacon, a large mushroom (Pidge's favourite), and a large pepperoni for himself.

"So, what'll Lance want?" Keith asked, looking at Hunk.

"Hang on," Hunk took a deep breath of air. "LANCE WHAT PIZZA DO YOU WANT?"

There was a beat of silence before a shout. "I'M A SLUT FOR SOME MEAT LOVERS!"

Keith froze for a second. He had to be imagining it, right? There was no way that someone's voice was... That colour. There was no way someone could have a voice so blue. It wasn't even a dark blue! It was so bright. He'd never seen a naturally bright voice before. They normally had to have music in the background to make their voice so vibrant! Everyone else's voices were so dark and murky, yet his was bright and... Beautiful. There was no other way to describe it. Lance had a beautiful voice. It was the colour of the sky at it's best, it was the colour of the ocean after a storm, it was a colour Keith loved.

"Earth to Keith, hello." Pidge waved their hand infront of Keith's face, snappng him out of the trance he didn't realise he was in. "Did you get that?"

"Uh, oh, yeah. Um," Keith fumbled with his phone for a second before putting in Lance's order and actually placing the order.

"Are you okay Keith?" Pidge asked with a hint of concern. Hunk looked at him nerveously as if there was something wrong.

"His voice..." Keith mumbled. "Pidge, it's-"

"Sup motherfuckers," Lance greeted as he waltzed into the room. Keith stared at him in awe. How the hell was his voice so bright? Why was it specifically his voice? Lance came over as sat on the floor infront of the table on the side closest to Keith. That's when Lance caught Keith staring. "What, do I have something on my face?"

"I- uh. No. Sorry," Keith apologised as he looked away.

This was gonna be a long night for Keith.

Chapter Text

[College kids are the WORST]

Freeloader: Keef where the frick are you Shiro is worrying his ass off

KnifeLord: Sorry, i'm at Pidge's place

MHolt: Why are you there??? Why didn't you tell anyone???

KnifeLord: Well I tried telling you but you said something about cake so I left

Shirno: KEITH OH MY GOD I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE OKAY PLS DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN I THOUGHT YOU RAN AWAY I WAS SO WORRYED YOU ACTUAL DICK HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME!?

MHolt: Babe chill pls

Shirno: MATT I WAS SO WORRIED YOU SEEN ME I COULDN'T FUCKING FUNCTION I THOUGHT MY BABY BROTHER LEFT US AND I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD

Freeloader: Shiro shut the fuck up

Freeloader: but seriously keef like, leave a note next time

KnifeLord: Sorry.

MHolt: Now that that's aside, how is Pidge? I haven't seen them in awhile

KnifeLord: Give me a drum roll

Freeloader: *Unenthusiatic drumroll*

KnifeLord: Thank

KnifeLord: Surprisingly Pidge has +3 friends

MHolt: Well.... yeah

KnifeLord: That aren't made of metal

MHolt: OHMYGODOHMYGOD I NEVER THOUGHT I'D LIVE TO SEE THE DAY

Shirno: Pidge has.... Other friends?

Shirno: What kind of alternate universe is this

MHolt: SHIRO I'M SO SORRY BUT I'M GONNA DIE OF HAPPINESS BEFORE THE WEDDING I'M SO SORRY BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MHolt: PIDGE HAS FRIENDS!!!

Freeloader: Fuckin losers

[Freeloader has logged off]


 

[4 broke af mofos]

LovelyLance: Hey Pidge, do you have any other friends as hot and pure as Keith because yes please

SlimShaydy: ew

LovelyLance: More like yum

PidgeonLord: pls stop this

LovelyLance: No but like, you guys saw him right? Pls tell me I wasn't the only one getting vibes from him

SlimShaydy: Vibes?

LovelyLance: Y'know like!! Vibes!!

SlimShaydy: ??

PidgeonLord: ....Gay vibes?

LovelyLance: YES!

PidgeonLord: Oh

PidgeonLord: Well yeah he is gay sooo.....

LovelyLance: Yum 

SlimShaydy: stop

LovelyLance: Okay but you guys did see him staring at me like???

SlimShaydy: Yeah, that was kinda weird

SlimShaydy: I mean who wants to stare at you?

LovelyLance: Ouch

PidgeonLord: Keith doesn't like you like that

LovelyLance: how would u know?

PidgeonLord: Because yeh he's gay but... hes also demi so uhhh.

PidgeonLord: don't ask him on a date so soon Lance

LovelyLance: Well then

SlimShaydy: oh no

LovelyLance: I, LANCE MCCLAIN, MAKE IT MY MISSION TO BEFRIEND THE INSANELY HOT KEITH, AND MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME

PidgeonLord:... Sure Jan.


 

[PidgeonLord has added KnifeLord, LovelyLance, SlimShaydy and TheWholesomeone to Bow down to your overlords]

PidgeonLord: FOR IT IS I, YOUR PIDGEON LORD

KnifeLord: AND IT IS I, YOUR KNIFE LORD

PidgeonLord: TOGETHER, WE SHALL CONQUER THIS SCUM YOU CALL EARTH

KnifeLord: AND SET FREE ALL THAT IS PURE AND RIGHT

LovelyLance: I suddenly regret everything

[PidgeonLord has changed LovelyLance's username to TheFirstOneDead]

TheFirstOneDead: Wow, rude.

PidgeonLord: In our new world order, anyone who does not bow down is disposed of.

KnifeLord: Anyone who dares to disobey is fed to the pidgeons

SlimShaydy: The pidgeons?

KnifeLord: THE PIDGEONS

SlimShaydy: I don't wanna be eaten by pidgeons, take what u want

TheFirstOneDead: Shay nO!!!

SlimShaydy: I'm sorry Lance, but it's all for the best

TheFirstOneDead: How could u?? ;-;

PidgeonLord: Now is your last chance Lance. Bow down.

TheFirstOneDead: NEVER!

TheFirstOneDead: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

[PidgeonLord has changed TheFirstOneDead's username to Dead]

Dead: XP

~~~~~~~~~

TheWholesomeOne: 21 one notifications while i'm at work

TheWholesomeOne: Why is Lance dead?

Dead: They fed me to pidgeons

TheWholesomeOne:.........

TheWholesomeOne: You should've bowed down

Dead: NOT YOU TOO HUNK!!!!

KnifeLord: And so our Empire grows...

Dead: How dare u ;-;

SlimShaydy: Lance was a traitor to the new world order

Dead: SHAY!

SlimShaydy: Yet i miss him, sometimes I still hear his voice...

KnifeLord: Are you saying that you mourn the traitor?

SlimShaydy: Of course not. But as he lies in his grave he curses my naefiesfsrjg

KnifeLord: Shay? You okay?

TheWholesomeOne: Lance kinda attacked her

KnifeLord: oh okay

SlimShaydy: THE NEW WORLD ORDER SUCKS

TheWholesomeOne: Lance get off Shay's phone

Dead: I h8 u guys

PidgeonLord: That's not what I remember you saying.....

Dead: I stg I won't be the only one who's dead if you carry on

KnifeLord: Are you threatening your overlords who have already killed you once?

Dead:.....

Dead: VIVA LA REVOLUTION!


 

[DeadFreeloader]

Dead: I need new friends

Freeloader: I'm not even gonna ask

Dead: So like, yesterday me and Pidge were stuck outside work bc neither of us would pay for a cab so they message their friend right?

Freeloader: Here we go.

Dead: Well that Pidge DIDN'T tell me was that their friend was a rlly hot guy?? And I just?? Can't??

Freeloader: Uh huh

Dead: So this guy (who's name is Keith btw) buys us some rlly expensive pizza (Rico's. Cn u believe!?) and he's like super cute and funny and hot

Dead: But Pidge adds him to a group chat and they start doing this 'new world order' thing and they fuckin feed me to pidgeons

Dead: I thought I liked him but I don't know how to feel after this?

Freeloader: Keith??? As in Keith Kogane??

Dead: I think so? U know him?

Freeloader: Bro i'm living in his house

Dead: U DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WERE LIVING WITH A CUTE GUY?! ALLURA YOU'RE DEAD TO ME

Freeloader: I didn't think he'd be your type!

Dead: You didn't think cute was my type?

Freeloader: I didn't think emo was your type.

Dead: fair

Dead: But like??? He's so hot and cute??? At the same time???

Freeloader: Dude you need to see his brother

Dead: ?

Freeloader: [Image attached]

Dead: I need to join that fucking family

Dead: yum

Freeloader: Same. But like, hes engaged so Keith's the only avalible one

Dead: yum

Freeloader: u need 2 stop

Dead: Allura, u need to invite me round pls

Dead: bc rn i don't believe that you live with Keith

Dead: and i need an excuse to see him

Freeloader: And u don't wanna spend time with your sister from another mother?

Freeloader: i can't believe you'd use me like this.

Dead: I will buy you all the nuggs i can afford. Pls 'Lura? For the sake of my future husband?

Freeloader: .......

Freeloader: Fine. On monday come round after your shift and all the bois will be there

Dead: All?

Freeloader: The other 3 bois. Shiro, Matt and Keith

Dead: X_X


[College kids are the WORST]

Freeloader: Hey is it okay if my friend comes over on monday? He's been kinda stressed lately

Shirno: Sure, have I met him before?

Freeloader: omg dad no u haven't

Freeloader: His names Lance he's rlly nice i swear!

Freeloader: We're probably just gonna wear some facemasks, watch some netflix then just chill

MHolt: Netflix and chill you say???

Freeloader: OMG NO!!!

Shirno: Listen Allura i've told you before that you can have dates in the house as long as you don't do the do where we can see

Freeloader: u guys suck

MHolt: Well i mean....

KnifeLord: Pls we have a child in here

MHolt: Oh yeah.... Sorry Shiro.

Shirno: I hate you guys.

Freeloader: Oh Keef! You can join us if u want! Give these losers time to pick their suits ^.^

KnifeLord: i mean... I'm not opposed as long as you and Lance are okay with it.

Freeloader: Of course we are! u know Lance?

KnifeLord: Yeah, he's actually one of Pidge's friends?

MHolt: Oh shit now we get to see if Keith was lying or not.

Shirno: When has Keith ever lied before?

MHolt: Microwave

Freeloader: Microwave

KnifeLord: Microwave

Shirno: ..... Shit u rite

Freeloader: Language child.

Shirno: f u

 

Chapter Text

[Freeloader > Dead]

Freeloader: u need 2 see this before u come here

Dead: ??

Freeloader: [Image attached]

Dead: I AM DECEASED HOLY FUCK ME IN THE ASS BOI I CANNOT HANDEL THIS I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO DESEVRVE THIS MMMmmmmMMMM BOI

Freeloader: Cute, right?

Dead: Allura, why did you never tell me that you live with a cute boi who wears mini skirts and crop tops??? because i'm already planning our wedding

Freeloader: I'll only let you marry him if i'm the maid of honor

Dead: ofc

Freeloader: Okay but seriously, if you hurt him in any way then you'll be 'living' up to your username.

Dead: Why would I hurt someone so smol???


 

[4 broke af mofos]

PidgeonLord: Lance stop screaming

Dead: BUT I'M GOING OVER TO ALLURA'S PLACE WHICH MEANS KEITH WILL BE THERE AND HOW CAN I NOT SCREAM AT THAT????

PidgeonLord: Lance pls we have neighbors

SlimShaydy: And it sounds like your being murdered

Dead: IM SORRY BUT KEITH ALSO WEARS MINI SKIRTS AND CROP TOPS AND... JUST.... FUCK

SlimShaydy: Lance.exe has stopped working


 

Lance waited outside his apartment block for about ten minutes untill a limosine pulled up and Allura stepped out of it. Lance stood there for a moment, blinking like if he blinked hard enough the image would dissappear. Allura opened the door politely for Lance as if being in a limo was a normal thing for her. Lance stared at her for a moment dumbfounded because 1) she was wearing a short dress in the middle of march like who does that? And 2) she's picking him up in a fucking limo? Lance stepped over to her.

"Did you steal this?" Lance asked, half joking, as he stepped inside the limo and took a seat. Allura followed him.

"Nah, just decided to pick my friend up in style," Allura chuckled lightly. "Jeffery, my dear, would you take us back to the Shirogane residence please?"

"Of course miss," A old, gritty voice replied. Lance looked over to the drivers seat, which was only visible through a small window, and saw an old man driving them.

"Who is that?" Lance asked.

"Oh, that's Jeffery, Shiro's butler,"

"The dude has a butler?" Lance asked in amazement. "He must be loaded!"

Allura chuckled. "Well, yeah. He owns a mansion dude,"

"What,"

"He inherited a fortune when his parents died, not to mention the fact he's an astromoner and gets paid tons,"

Lance's jaw was agape. Allura had been living in some rich guys house and never bothered in invite Lance around before? Rude.


 

Lance got out the limo and could only stare at the sight before him. This Shiro guy really was loaded. Infront of Lance stood a huge white mansion with a marble fountain out front. From the looks of it, it seemed the place had three floors. The design was as if someone made the decision to combine modern style houses and victorian style houses and if Lance is honest? The outcome was actually astounding.

"Woah," Lance breathed. Allura looked back and him and smiled.

"Wait till you see the inside." Allura grabbed his hand and dragged him into the place. The walls were still white but the floor was made of a dark oak wood that was too shiny to be real.

Allura kept dragging him untill the reached a rather large room that had a large corner seat couch, a fireplace , a huge ass flat screen TV with Netflix turned on and waiting for them, a basket of beauty products sat on the coffee table, and a cute boy lay on the couch playing some game.

"Keith~ We're back~" Allura said in a sing-song voice. Keith then turned his phone off and his attention to Allura and Lance. When his eyes landed on Lance he gave a small smile that may have made Lance's heart skip a beat.

"Hey," Keith said softly. Fuck that smile, honestly. "I got what you asked for, Pink. I hope it's the right stuff." Keith pointed to the large basket of beauty items sat on the coffee table.

"Bless." Allura joined Keith on the couch and instantly grabbed the remote. Lance decided to slip next to her because if he sat anwhere near Keith he would probably just fucking shut down completely.

~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, they all had face masks on and were painting their nails.

"All i'm saying is Alec is way too good for Jace," Allura commented.

"Literally no one is dissagreeing with you!" Keith said.

"The only one on Alec's level is Magnus, cause like, they're perfect for each other." Lance absent-mindedly painted his nails a soft shade of... Blue? Green?

"True, and that wedding scene? Talk about perfect timing!"

"Speaking of timing we should get these face masks off," Allura said frowning. "Keith, would you be a sweetheart and get a bowl of warm water?"

"Sure." Keith got up from the couch. Lance watched the way he moved so elegantly, like a silk ribbon flowing in the wind, the way the crop top clung to his skin fitting his form so perfectly as if it were a part of him. Fuck, Lance is bi.

"So." Allura looked at her freshly painted nails as if searching for anything stuck in the polish. "You really do like Keith, huh?"

"Considering I want to smother that cute ass mother fuck with hugs then yes," Lance said flatly. "But oh mu God Allura, I like everthing about him! The way he's not afraid to speak his mind, how much self-confidence he has, that cute ass smile he wears when he thinks no ones looking at him-"

"Okay stop," Allura laughed.

"But 'Lura! Please, you gotta help me make him fall in love with me!" Lance begged.

"Lance! I can't make people fall in love! I'm not Cupid,"

"Be my wingwoman?" Lance asked. "Please?"

Allura sighed deeply. "You know I can't help myself from meddling in people's lovelives... Fine,"

Lance almost squealed but then Keith walked into the room carrying a large bowl of water and set it down on the table. Lance instantly took a face cloth and dunked in the water and started to scrub off the face mask, Allura and Keith then started to do the same.


[The Adults]

Freeloader: So, I got some news

MHolt: Gurl, spill

Shirno: Please let it be good

Freeloader: Depends on your definition of good

Shirno: I stg if this is another microwave incident...

Freeloader: what no

Freeloader: Keefyboy has someone crushing on him ^.^

MHolt: Awwww~

Shirno: Who are they? Do I need to kill someone bc I will

Freeloader: Shiro!

Shirno: What? I just want the best for Keith and if this person can't handle my wrath then they don't deserve Keith

Freeloader: Aw thats... Cute in its own murderous way

MHolt: Isn't he though? :3

Freeloader: ANYWAY! This love sick boi's name is Lance (the one who came over) and he has the most adorable crush on Keef! He couldn't stop staring at him at all today!

Shirno: Is it illegal for me to kill someone for having a crush on my little brother?

MHolt: Pretty sure it's illegal to kill anyone babe.

Shirno: Damn it.

Freeloader: Oh c'mon Shiro. Don't you remember what it was like to be young and in love?

Shirno: I'm an old soul, i've never been young

MHolt: Babe~ Give them a chance!

Shirno: Oh yeah sure i'll give this non existant future relationship a chance.

Shirno: NOT GONNA HAPPEN

Freeloader: Boo, you whore.


 

[Freeloader has added MHolt and PidgeonLord to Operation: Klance]

Freeloader: Alright Holts, you in?

MHolt: Shiro's gonna kill me but it'll be worth it.

PidgeonLord: ..... what's a Klance?

Freeloader: Keith and Lance but like, in a relationship

PidgeonLord: Wait so let me get this straight

Freeloader: 'Straight'

PidgeonLord: You want me to mess with my roommate's and my best friend who I've know my whole life's love life without their consent?

PidgeonLord: Bc if so i'm in.

MHolt: That's my sibling

Freeloader: Also Lance gave me his consent to do this so it's chill.

PidgeonLord: Yeet

PidgeonLord: So how do we execute this?

Freeloader: That's... Kinda why I made this gc

Freeloader: I have no idea and you guys are smart....

PidgeonLord: Why didn't you just ask Matt? I mean he's the only one who has a successful relationship rn

MHolt: Just because i'm engaged to Shiro doesn't mean I know how I did it

Freeloader: Shit.

PidgeonLord: WAIT! I KNOW WHO CAN HELP!

[PidgeonLord has added SlimShaydy and TheWholesomeOne]

SlimShaydy: Um... Hi?

PidgeonLord: SHAY! YOU ARE IN A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP! HOW DID YOU AND HUNK DO IT?

SlimShaydy: Uh, Hunk asked me on a date, I said yes, it was the most awkward date i'd ever been on but like, also the best i've ever been on??? So I just thought 'This one. He's perfect'

Freeloader: Aw that's cute

SlimShaydy: It was... Who are you?

Freeloader: Oh right, I'm Allura, a friend of Lance and Pidge's

SlimShaydy: Nice to meet you! I'm Shay also a friend of Lance and Pidge's. TheWholesomeOne is called Hunk but he's at work rn

Freeloader: Aw, I wanted to meet him ;-; Are you two dating?

SlimShaydy: Two years last month!

Freeloader: aw that's so sweet!

MHolt: Ladies, focus!

PidgeonLord: Shay, we need you and Hunk help us get Klance together.

SlimShaydy: But isn't Keith demi? So he needs to have a deep emotional bond first?

PidgeonLord: Um, yes.

SlimShady: Then shouldn't you let Keith get connected to Lance first? Y'know actual friend stuff first, romance later if Keith will even like Lance that way?

PidgeonLord: .....I hate you when you're right

SlimShaydy: Wow I didn't know you hated me this whole time Pidge.

MHolt: Roasted

Freeloader: Shay's right though... We need to let them get closer first. We'll just have to let Lance pine for awhile

PidgeonLord: Ughhh pining Lance is the worst Lance! he gets 60% more obnoxious than he already is....

SlimShaydy: I know, but it's for the best. Romance is like a fine wine, it gets better with age

PidgeonLord: Shay u don't drink

SlimShaydy: stfu

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TheWholesomeOne: 24 notifications!? Really guys!?

TheWholesomeOne: what is wrong w/ u guys?

 

Chapter Text

[4 broke af mofos]

PidgeonLord: NOBODY GO IN THE BATHROOM

TheWholesomeOne: Pidge

SlimShaydy: You didn't flood it again did you?

PidgeonLord: I thought we agreed to never speak of that again

SlimShaydy: Well technically i'm not speaking

PidgeonLord: stfu

SlimShaydy: .....

TheWholesomeOne: What did you do?

PidgeonLord: [Image attached]

PidgeonLord: Her name is Tessa

TheWholesomeOne: PIDGE!

TheWholesomeOne: WE AREN'T ALLOWED PETS IN THE APARTMENT

PidgeonLord: But Huuuuunk. She's so cute! Look at her toe beans!!

PidgeonLord: [Image attached]

SlimShaydy: So smol

TheWholesomeOne: SHAY PLS YOU'RE NOT HELPING

TheWholesomeOne: WHERE DID YOU EVEN FIND THIS CAT!?

PidgeonLord: Fire escape

PidgeonLord: She was in a fight with another cat!! I rescued her and nursed her to health! Be proud of me!

SlimShaydy: I wanna be mad but.... toe beans.....

TheWholesomeOne: You can't keep the cat! We can barely afford to keep ourselves alive, how are we gonna pay for vet bills Pidge?

PidgeonLord: ur no fun :(


 

[PidgeonLord has added Dead, KnifeLord, SlimShaydy, TheWholesomeOne, Freeloader, MHolt, and Shirno to WHO WANTS A CAT!?]

PidgeonLord: [Image attached]

PidgeonLord: Her name is Tessa, she's a rescue, unsure of breed, some scratches that are easy to take care of

SlimShaydy: Hunk can we pls keep her???

TheWholesomeOne: If we could, we would. But babe you're forgetting one little thing

SlimShaydy: What??

TheWholesomeOne: We're broke

Freeloader: KITTY!!!

MHolt: Shiroooooooooooo

KnifeLord: Gimme

Freeloader: wow I never took Keith to be a cat person

KnifeLord: I never expected you to live here over a year but whoops here we are

PidgeonLord: Damn

Shirno: What is this?

Shirno: Who are these people?

SlimShaydy: Hi, i'm Shay!

TheWholesomeOne: And i'm Hunk, we kinda live with Pidge and Lance

Shirno: Oh, I'm Shiro. Keith's older brother

SlimShaydy: Nice to meet you!

Freeloader: Btw where is Lance? I expected him to be all over this kitty action

PidgeonLord: I thought he was at your place??

MHolt: No???

KnifeLord: Lance is sleeping in my bed

Freeloader: HE NEVER LEFT????

KnifeLord: No???

MHolt: Shiro just left the room

KnifeLord: He came to my room to play some Splatoon, we ordered some Chinese food and he kinda passed out on my bed so...

KnifeLord: [Image attached]

KnifeLord: He was a fuckin blanket hog all night

TheWholesomeOne: You shared a bed with him???

KnifeLord: Yeah.

PidgeonLord: Lance is gonna freak

KnifeLord: Whyfesjkfhrsklgns,g

MHolt: Keith is a dead man

MHolt: Lance is a dead man

Freeloader: ????

MHolt: Shiro attacked them

PidgeonLord: Ah.

PidgeonLord: So who wants Tessa?

KnifeLord: I'll take her

SlimShaydy: You're alive?

KnifeLord: Yeah, it's sleepyboi you should be worried about

[PidgeonLord has changed Dead's username to SleepyBoi]

TheWholesomeOne: That's kinda cute

KnifeLord: [Image attached]

MHolt: SHIRO GET OFF OF LANCE RIGHT NOW!

Shirno: But babe....

MHolt: NOW.

SleepyBoi: WTF SHIRO!?

SlimShaydy: Scroll up.

SleepyBoi: vysjfksbfsmfj

SleepyBoi: hfelfhsknrslsj

TheWholesomeOne: I think we broke him

SleepyBoi: KEITH

KnifeLord: Dude why are you texting me we're in the same room?

KnifeLord: Wait nevermind you just ran out on me.

Freeloader: How could you leave your boyfriend like that Lance?

PidgeonLord: Unloyal

TheWholesomeOne: Untrustworthy

MHolt: undeserving of love

KnifeLord: ???


 

[KnifeLordSleepyBoi]

KnifeLord: Hey um, i'm sorry if sharing a bed with you last night was crossing some kinda boundry... I've been told I can get a bit too clingy so if you ever want me to stop just say something and I will

SleepyBoi: What? No no no no no listen being the middle child of seven gives you like, 0 boundries so the bed thing last night? nbd. And who tf told you that you're clingy bc theyre now #1 on my hit list

KnifeLord: Okay but if you ever feel overwhelmed just tell me and please don't kill anyone that's my job.

SleepyBoi: If you're worried that i'm freaked out over the bed stuff then you gotta stop fucking worrying bc it doesnt bother me like I said, nbd

KnifeLord: Thanks....

KnifeLord: You're like, super warm btw

KnifeLord: Kinda like a giant teddy bear

SleepyBoi: Haha, thanks.


 

[SleepyBoiFreeloader]

SleepyBoi: [Image attached]

SleepyBoi: HE'S TOO CUTE FOR HIS OWN GOOD.

SleepyBoi: WHAT DO I DO!?!?

Freeloader: HIM!!!

Freeloader: Srusly he likes to act all emo and tough but he's a huge softie <3

SleepyBoi: My heart...... Can't take this.....

[Freeloader has changed SleepyBoi's username to McGayin]

McGayin: I'm not even gonna correct you bc this is my mood rn

Freeloader: Brb doing the lord's work


 

[WHO WANT'S A CAT!?]

[Freeloader  has changed TheWholesomeOne's username to TheWholeSomeone]

TheWholeSomeone: ????

[Freeloader has changed Shirno's username to Takashit]

Takashit: I let you live in my house and this is how you repay me?

[Freeloader has changed their own username to PrincessTakeNoShit]

McGayin: Damn

PidgeonLord: McGayin

[PrincessTakeNoShit has changed MHolt's username to MemeHolt]

MemeHolt: Allura, no. ALLURA NO MY STUDENTS WILL SEE THIS!!!!!!!!!

PrincessTakeNoShit: and finally!!!

[PrincessTakeNoShit has changed KnifeLord's username to SoftEmo]

SoftEmo: I hate you

PidgeonLord: Why didn't you change my or Shay's names???

PrincessTakeNoShit: Bc they're fucking classic

SlimShaydy: Fair.

SoftEmo: Whatever, Pidge i'm coming over to drop Lance off and pick up Tessa

Takashit: He didn't leave??

MemeHolt: No. ALLURA CHANGE MY USERNAME RN

PrincessTakeNoShit: Can you not do it yourself?

MemeHolt: NO I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT BC I DIDN'T THINK I'D HAVE TO

PrincessTakeNoShit: lol

MemeHolt: THIS ISN'T FUNNY ALLURA, AT LEAST 5 OF MY STUDENTS HAVE MESSAGED ME NOW

MemeHolt: "Is this Prof Holt????" "Yes" "Lol didnt know your first name was meme."

MemeHolt: UGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PidgeonLord: Whatever Keith, just have Lance home by 4


 

"You ready to leave yet?" Keith asked, leaning against the doorway. Fuck, everything he does just made him look so hot to Lance, especially in those tight ass skinny jeans and that fucking red leather jacket and the shirt that clung to him like a second skin-

Fucking hell is Lance bi.

"Uh, yeah," Lance said. He followed Keith out the room and out of the house, only to be met with a sick ass motorbike.

Keith hopped onto the bike no problem then turned around and opened some compartment to reveal a helmet of which he threw over to Lance (who may have almost dropped it).

"Y-you drive a motorbike?" Lance stuttered.

"Yeah, built this baby myself." Keith looked smug as he looked over the bike. "Hop on!"

Lance stumbled over to the bike; he almost tripped over thin air around two times. He slowly sat down on the bike.

"S-should I- I hold onto you?" Lance asked.

"Don't forget to hold on tight!" Keith chuckled. Lance nerveously wrapped his arms around Keith's waist, then he suddenly clung to him like his life depended on it. He was pulling himself up against Keith's back and he felt so warm.

Lance didn't even hear the engine's roar or even notice the fact they were moving untill they were out of the driveway. He was too focused on Keith.


 

[Operation: Klance]

PrincessTakeNoShit: Keith just took Lance on his motor bike

PrincessTakeNoShit: Lance was visibly flustured

PidgeonLord: Ughh he's fucking hopeless

SlimShaydy:  More like Helpless

MemeHolt: ???

SlimShaydy: AND I'M HELPLEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS (LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND THE SKY'S THE LIMIT) I'M HELPLESS!!!!!

PidgeonLord: Now you got her started Matt

MemeHolt: WHAT DID I DO?!!?

Chapter Text

[College kids are the WORST]

MemeHolt: Allura, you have five days to move out

PrincessTakeNoShit: What?????

SoftEmo: Whoa whoa whoa, Matt you can't just do that!

Takashit: wth Matt?

MemeHolt: I walked into my classroom today, ready to teach some astrophysics....

MemeHolt: "Morning Meme" "Hi Mr Meme" "Professer Meme! How are ya?"

PrincessTakeNoShit: This is the best thing i've ever done

PrincessTakeNoShit: This is my legacy

MemeHolt: MY CLASS THINKS I'M A FUCKING MEME!!!

SoftEmo: Well they aren't exactly wrong are they

Takashit: Not now Keith.

Takashit: Babe I got a bath running for you and Jeffery is making us steak tonight

MemeHolt: Well done?

Takashit: Well done.

MemeHolt: ;-; bless

SoftEmo: I say own that shit

MemeHolt: ???

SoftEmo: Own. That. Shit.

SoftEmo: Meme yourself Mr. Meme

SoftEmo: Lecture them on memes

Takashit: No.

MemeHolt: That.... Might work???

Takashit: Matt NO!

MemeHolt: Matt YES!

PrincessTakeNoShit: Fuck he's already started

MemeHolt: There's gotta be a way to make these kids crack....

SoftEmo: Don't do it

MemeHolt: and I know de way

SoftEmo: Oh my God.....


 

[Bow down to your Overlords]

SoftEmo: Help, Matt started memeing

PidgeonLord: Nope, your chat, your problem

SoftEmo: But they're not even good memes Pidge!

McGayin: tHE MEME LORD HAS RISEN

PidgeonLord: There's only one Lord in this chat Bitch

McGayin: Not according to the chat name

[PidgeonLord has changed the groupchat name to 4 broke af mofos + Rich kid]

McGayin: Accurate

SlimShaydy: Rich kid???

PidgeonLord: Oh, Keith's rich af

SlimShaydy:  what.

McGayin: lol yeah the guy lives in a mansion

SoftEmo: Guys....

PidgeonLord: Dude inherited couple million dollars from his parents not to mention how much Shiro earns as an astromoner

SlimShaydy: Oh my God....

SoftEmo: Green pls don't

McGayin: Keith shortening his words, what a rare sight

PidgeonLord: Magenta??

SoftEmo: Maena

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]

[SoftEmo has gone offline]

SlimShaydy: That was.... weird

McGayin: Yeah...


 

[PidgeonLordSoftEmo]

PidgeonLord: Scale on 1-10?

SoftEmo:  Gone from a 6 to a 4

PidgeonLord: Keep breathing okay... Just take a few more deep breaths...

PidgeonLord: Do you need me to call you?

SoftEmo: No.

PidgeonLord: Do you know what triggered it?

SoftEmo: Not really....

PidgeonLord: Was it the parents thing?

SoftEmo: What? No I got over that last year Green.

PidgeonLord: If you say so. Symptoms?

SoftEmo: Normal ones... Tight chest, felt like I was suffocating....

SoftEmo: I'm at a 2 now so if you wanna go back to the group chat i'll be okay

PidgeonLord: Keith i'm not leaving you after you had a panic attack

PidgeonLord: Does anyone at your house know??

SoftEmo: No...

SoftEmo: I'm sorry Green i'm spo fucking sorry

PidgeonLord: Keith. You have been my best friend for over 14 years now you don't need to fucking apologise for needing me

SoftEmo: Thanks Pidge...

PidgeonLord: Don't thank me either that's just weird.

PidgeonLord: You wanna go back to the gc?

SoftEmo: Actually I might go lay down, listen to some DEH to make sure I've calmed down.

PidgeonLord: Okay then... Message me when you're alright.


 

[4 broke af mofos + Rich kid]

McGayin: Then a police man found me handcuffed to a tree with no wallet, phone, or any kind of ID all whilest i'm drenched in pigs blood

SlimShaydy: See, this is why I don't use Uber

PidgeonLord: No one message Keith until he messages you first

McGayin: Why?? Is there something wrong?? Is he okay???

PidgeonLord: He's fine he just needs a bit of time alone

SlimShaydy: Aw Lance, no need to panic Keith'll be fine!

McGayin: If you say so....


 

[SoftEmo > McGayin]

SoftEmo: Are you free rn?

McGayin: Yeah my shift isn't untill another 2 hours 

SoftEmo: Can you call me? Please?

McGayin: Sure, one sec

Lance quickly pressed the call button and raised the phone to his ear. Keith had answered almost instantly

"Lance? Okay first of all please don't ask any questions I just need someone to talk to me so I know this is kinda weird but could you... Could you tell me a story?" Keith's voice was shaking. He knew Keith told him not to ask any questions but he wanted to ask if Keith was okay or if he needed something or someone. The again he guessed that's why he called him, because he wasn't okay and he needed Lance.

"Oh um, yeah. Okay. I've got a ton of stories from when I was younger! I could tell you how my sister, Isabella, once tried to steal a penguin from the zoo?" Lance heard Keith let out a short, soft laugh that made his heart flutter slightly.

"Sure, that sounds pretty funny actually,"

"Oh trust me it was. At least for us it was," Lance said, recalling the story as if it happened yesterday. "So Isabella is the eldest sibling right? She's six years older than me so that makes her around... fourteen when this happened since I was around eight. So we were visiting out local zoo because they were having a 'march of the penguins' event where they made the penguins... March. And Isabella decided to bring this pretty big backpack right? None of us thought anything of it at the time. In fact I did actually question her about it on the way there and she literally looked me straight in the eyes and just said 'aesthetic' as if an eight year old knows what that means," Keith chuckled on the other end of the line, and fucking hell why won't Lance's heart just stop pounding for one second.

"So anyway, we make it to the zoo right? We watch the march of the penguins, grab some food, see some other animals and start to make our way to the exit, right? Wrong. We made our way into the gift shop when suddenly the entire zoo was on lock down. The entire zoo. It's announced over the speakers that a baby penguin has gone missing and that they'll be searching everyone's bags. Surprisingly, Isabella was the only one in our family with a bag, except my Mama's purse of course but that couldn't fit a baby penguin. So this zookeeper walks up to Isabella and demands to see her bag. Isabella, going through her 'angsty' teen years kicks off a fuss about this but is then forced to hand over her bag. The zookeeper looks in the bag, then back at my sister, then back in the bag, then he suddenly reaches in the bag and picks up this tiny little penguin. My sister is then scolded by not only the zoo staff but our parents to. In fact, I think she's still banned from that zoo." Lance chuckled to himself lightly. He heard Keith hum in amusement.

"Thanks for... Talking to me Blue, it really means alot." Keith yawned, indicating he was tired. Blue? Was that... The colour of his voice? Damn, Lance really wished he knew what Keith's blue looked like.

"Hey it's honestly no problem! You can always call me if you need me." Lance hesitated before speaking again. "Are you... Okay?"

Keith hummed. "Yeah, I just uh... Sometimes I get these random panic attacks and I never know how to calm myself down because I never know what triggers them but um... Your voice is pretty calming and I really like its colour so I uh..."

Lance let out a small laugh. "Hey, it's okay. Call me if you ever feel like that again? Okay? My little sister, Sonja, gets panic attacks quite often to so I kinda taught myself how to deal with them,"

"Thanks blue," Lance could hear the small smile on Keith's face. "You're a... Really good friend,"

Lance's heart fluttered at that and he didn't know why. 'Really good friend' wasn't exactly where Lance wanted to be but he guesses it's a start.

"You to Keith. Remember to drink some water and get some rest okay?"

"Okay Lance." Keith chuckled before the line went dead.


 

[ The Adults]

MemeHolt: Keith's asleep, should I wake him up?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Nah, from what I heard from Pidge he might have had a panic attack and he needs a bit of rest

MemeHolt: K den. Imma leave a glass of water for him

Takashit: Damn, I wish Keith would talk to me about these things

PrincessTakeNoShit: Sometimes you needs support from your friends, not your family

Takashit: But i'm his family AND his friend

MemeHolt: But as you say, you're his brother first, his friend second

Takashit: I only say that when i'm scolding him

PrincessTakeNoShit: But you know it's true

PrincessTakeNoShit: If Keith wanted to talk about these things with you he would, but sometimes you get overwhelming and frankly it can be a bit suffocating

Takashit: I...

Takashit: I don't actually get like that... Do I?

MemeHolt: We know you don't mean to Kashi, but you're not exactly the most calm person when needed

Takashit: I'm sorry...

MemeHolt: It's okay babe, we'll work on it together <3

PrincessTakeNoShit: Ugh, feelings, get them away

MemeHolt: You wound me </3

PrincessTakeNoShit: Good

Chapter Text

[4 broke af mofos]

SlimShaydy: Have you ever felt like nobody was there?

McGayin: Kinda

SlimShaydy: Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere?

McGayin: I mean it was kinda hard for my Mama to keep care of seven kids so....

SlimShaydy: Have you ever felt like you could dissappear?

McGayin: What's with all the questions?

SlimShaydy: Like you could fall, and no one would hear?

McGayin: Wait a second.....

SlimShaydy: Well, let that lonely feeling wash away, maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay!

SlimShaydy: 'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand you can reach, reach out your hand...

SlimShaydy:  And oh, someone will coming running and I know, they'll take you home

McGayin: EVEN WHEN THE DARK COMES CRASHING THROUGH

SlimShaydy: WHEN YOU NEED A FRIEND TO CARRY YOU!

McGayin: AND WHEN YOU'RE LYING BROKEN ON THE GROUND

SlimShaydy: YOU WILL BE FOUND

PidgeonLord: Guys it's 4am & you both have work tomorrow

McGayin: SO LET THE SUN COME STREAMING IN!

SlimShaydy: 'CAUSE YOU'LL REACH UP AND YOU'LL RISE AGAIN

McGayin: LIFT YOUR HEAD AND LOOK AROUND

SlimShaydy: YOU WILL BE FOUND

TheWholeSomeone: Shay bby pls our beds getting colder without you here ;-;

SlimShaydy: YOU WILL BE FOUND

McGayin: YOU WILL BE FOUND

PidgeonLord: You will be found..... Lying on the kitchen floor at 4am eating peanut butter straight from the jar

PidgeonLord: Hunk you come and get her

SlimShaydy: I'M EATING MY FEELINGS

SlimShaydy: JUST LET ME AND MY PEANUT BUTTER BE

McGayin: 4am peanut butter and cry sesh? I'm in

PidgeonLord: LanCE NO!!


 

[College kids are the WORST]

PrincessTakeNoShit: [Image attached]

PrincessTakeNoShit: Keef come get ur fuckin cat

SoftEmo: Come on Allura! She just wants to make friends!

PrincessTakeNoShit: I was sleeping so peacefully in bed

PrincessTakeNoShit: Until your cat came and sat on my fuckin face

MemeHolt: Kinky

MemeHolt: I didn't know you were a furry???

PrincessTakeNoShit: Don't you have a class to get to?

MemeHolt: Nah.

MemeHolt: Anyway 'Lura, what's your fursona?

PrincessTakeNoShit: I don't have a fursona Matt i'm not a fucking furry

MemeHolt: Mines a tiger

MemeHolt: Rawr

Takashit: I'm so sorry about him

MemeHolt: Shiro's just too scared to admit he's a scalie

Takashit: MATT.

[SoftEmo has gone offline]

MemeLord: Whoops


 

[4 broke mofos + Rich kid]

SoftEmo: What's a furry?

TheWholeSomeone: Don't you dare

PidgeonLord: omg keith

McGayin: So pure <3

SlimShaydy: I wish I had that kind of innocence

SoftEmo: ???

McGayin: A furry is basically someone who likes to dress up as animals and just... Walk around....

SlimShaydy: Some people draw art, write fanfiction....

PidgeonLord: Then the furry fandom gets a bad rep bc some people make it v sexual

SoftEmo: Oh.....

PidgeonLord: Why are you asking?

SoftEmo: 'Cause Matt said he was a furry.

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]

McGayin: Wow.

SlimShaydy: So unaccepting smh

SoftEmo: So like.... Is a scalie a furry but with lizards and stuff??

SlimShaydy: Basically yeah.

SoftEmo: I think i'm going to be sick

TheWholeSomeone: Why??

SoftEmo: Shiro's a scalie

McGayin: omg no way

SlimShaydy: This is the best day

[TheWholeSomeone has gone offline]


 

[McGayin > PrincessTakeNoShit]

McGayin: What does blue look like?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Lance i've told you before it's impossible to describe colours. 

McGayin: Okay, wrong question.

McGayin: How does the colour blue make you feel?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Um well, people interpret colours differently but I see blue as energetic? Y'know like something fun and exciting!

PrincessTakeNoShit: Why do you ask?

McGayin: So you know how i'm v bi for Keith?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Yeah

McGayin: Well yesterday he called me blue?? and i know hes sneysfh- whatever so i think that's what he sees my voice as?

McGayin: And I just kinda wanted to know how he saw my voice??? Since I cant exactly see the colour i just wanna know the meaning??

PrincessTakeNoShit: Aw that's... kinda endearing

PrincessTakeNoShit: Maybe you should ask Keith what blue means to him?

McGayin: Hnnng

McGayin: But then like... He'll know.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Know what?

McGayin: That I like him!!

PrincessTakeNoShit: Do you?

McGayin: I... Think I do?

PrincessTakeNoShit: That isn't good enough Lance. I don't want Keith to get hurt because you don't understand your own feelings

McGayin: ...


 

[College kids are the WORST]

MemeHolt: Have you guys seen Allura's phone? She's freaking out because she hasn't seen it in a few hours

MemeHolt: She says "I've not checked Insta in three hours and i'm dyING"

SoftEmo: To be fair i've not even seen Allura today. I've not left my room

Takashit: I found Allura's phone. I left it on the kitchen counter for her

MemeHolt: "Bless Takashit. I'll change his name when I get my phone back."

Takashit: Finally.

Shiro quickly picked up Allura's phone and put the password in to unlock it. He opened up the messanger and swiftly deleted the conversation he'd just had with Lance.

"Nobody needs to know,"


 

[SoftEmoMcGayin]

SoftEmo: Are you free right now?

McGayin: Yeah I just got off my shift actually, why?

SoftEmo: I'm bored.

McGayin: Wow. Such intresting information.

SoftEmo: Shut up.

SoftEmo: I wanna go somewhere and do something

McGayin: So why didn't you ask Pidge? You guys have been best friends for so long.

SoftEmo: I kinda wanted to hang out with you.

Lance took a deep breath as he reread the message around twenty times.

SoftEmo: I mean, if that's okay with you.

McGayin: Yeah that's totally fine dude! U gonna pick me up?

SoftEmo: Yeah. Then maybe we'll get a bite to eat? Or we could just ride around on my bike?

McGayin: Either one sounds great!

Way to look desperate McClain... Why would he use an exclimation point!?

SoftEmo: Alright then. See you in 10?

McGayin: It's a date

UggggggggghHHHHHHHHHHH. Lance hates himself right now. Who even says 'It's a date' anymore? Fucking desperate ass shits called Lance apparently, that's who

SoftEmo: It's a date ^.^

Lance looked over the message and totally didn't squeal. Nope. Not at all. Not once.

Maybe this 'date' will help him think through how he felt about Keith? After all it could be just a crush... Then again Lance has never really felt this way about a guy before? Sure he has had crushes on guys before but none of them ever made Lance feel as nerveous or as excited as Keith this. None of them so many butterflies in his stomach he felt like he was going to be sick. Not even many girls had done that. No one made Lance feel like he feels when he's with Keith and-

Oh no. Lance groaned as realisation hit him harder than a sack of bricks. He's pining.

 

Chapter Text

[McGayin TheWholeSomeone]

McGayin: Hnnnngggggg

McGayin: Hnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggg

TheWholeSomeone: Do I need to go out and get some laxatives again?

McGayin: What no.

McGayin: Keith's gonna be here in 5 minutes and were gonna go out and do shit

McGayin: But I look like a MESS

McGayin: My hair looks like a bird's nest, I skipped my skincare routine lastnight because of your girlfriend starting that peanut butter thing and I have eyebags Hunk. EYEBAGS

TheWholeSomeone: You can brush your hair in five minutes, at least it doesn't look greasy. Your skin looks perfect (as always) and don't you have makeup to cover that up??

McGayin: I CASN'TR FINDF THE FFUCKING HAIRBRUNSH AND I RAN OUT OF FOUNDATIOJFN LADT WEKK

McGayin: IOM PANICKINGF HUNL

McGayin: IM A FUCDKINNGS HUNMIAN DISATER


 

Keith pulled up outside the apartment block a little earlier than expected. Honestly Keith just needed an excuse to get out his house since the stress of the wedding had officially shifted over to Shiro ("Forget cake, we're having a wedding pie," "We're not cutting a pie at our wedding, Shiro," "This is MY WEDDING AS WELL MATTHEW YOU CAN'T STOP ME!"). Keith was glad he still had sane friends like Allura and Lance.

Speaking of Lance, Keith couldn't get him out of his head recently. Ever since he'd helped calm Keith down from that panic attack Lance was all he could think about! Lance had literally no obligations to help Keith, especially since Keith didn't actually explain what was going on, but he did. Keith had allowed Lance to get pretty close to him, really close actually. He'd only known him a few days so why did it feel like he'd known him for years?

Keith was pulled out of his thoughts when an oh so familiar shade of blue called out to him. He whipped his head around to stare a the tall boy heading over to him, he wore a rugged smile on his face.

"You seriously wearing a crop-top? It's like, fourty degrees out here!" Lance exclaimed, placing himself behind Keith on the motorbike. Keith rolled his eyes.

"It's not even that cold. You ready?" Keith asked as he felt Lance's arms wrap around his waist slowly, almost hesitant to touch him. Strange.

"Yup!" Keith felt Lance's face against his back.

Keith started up his engine and started to drive off. Now would be a good time to make some actual plans, he guesses


 

[The Adults]

Takashit: Where's Keith???

MemeHolt: He's not in his room??

Takashit: No??? There's no note???

PrincessTakeNoShit: Guys chill, he went out with Lance earlier

Takashit: He what.

PrincessTakeNoShit: omg shiro they've gone out as friends

PrincessTakeNoShit: FRIENDS

PrincessTakeNoShit: AS IN A COMPLETELY PLATONIC RELATIONSHIP

Takashit: Where did they go?

PrincessTakeNoShit: I don't know Shiro. And if I did I wouldn't tell you

MemeHolt: Babe pls calm down

Takashit: MY BABY BROTHER RAN OFF WITH SOME GUY I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY MET WHO HAS A CRUSH ON HIM HOW CAN I CALM DOWN!?

PrincessTakeNoShit: I don't know what you're worried about? Lance is an amazing guy

Takashit: Oh yeah? Well why don't you tell me how much of an 'amazing guy' this Lance is huh?

MemeHolt: Get ready for a paragraph.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Lance Alejandro McClain is the middle child of seven siblings and he thinks he isn't as great as his other siblings because they are getting PH.Ds or are skipping grades. But instead of taking on the jealous invisible rebellious kid stereotype he instead does nothing but love and support all of his siblings and is always there to help them with anything they need. I have never before seen him badmouth anyone who didn't deserve it. He once punched a guy despite him being 40x larger than him all because he made fun of Pidge. Lance is always there for his friends with no hesitation even if he's in a rough patch himself. I don't know what kind of vibe you get from Lance but it's obviously the wrong one because he is one of the most kind and caring people i've ever met.

PrincessTakeNoShit: If you ever dare hurt him in any shape or form I will personally shove my hand down your throat and rip out your spine and then shove it back up your ass but even then you wouldn't be getting the punishment you deserve.

Takashit: ...

MemeHolt: More like PrincessTalkNoShit


 

"How's Italian food sound?" Keith shouted over the roar of the engine.

"Sounds great!" Lance practically had to scream back. The bike then started to accelerate and Lance could barely feel his face due to the cold air. Lance had never understood why people liked motorcycles so much. It was basically just a bike but with an engine! What is the appeal?! However, as Lance sat and felt the thrumming of the vechicle below him, the air blowing back his air as if it were nothing, and the feeling of being able to hold someone so close without the other person knowing how much it meant to have their warmth against them... Lance could start to see why people liked motorcycles.

Lance then felt the engine stop. He opened his eyes (when did he close them?) to look at the small Italian resteraunt infront of them. It was a small little building detached from anything around it. A small overhang was placed above the double glass doors in the colours of the Italian flag; above that was the name of the restraunt which Lance found hard to make out since he didn't read script very often.

"Well come one then. We haven't got all day." Keith got off the motor cycle and quickly led Lance into the building. When Lance walked inside all that there really was to be seen was a man stood behind a desk and a set of stairs leading to the basement. The man quickly looked up from whatever he was doing to smile at Keith and Lance.

"Ah! Tavlo per due?" The man questioned. Lance knew he was asking about the table, but he had no idea how to reply. How similar were Spanish and Italian again? Luckily, Keith did.

"Sí grazie," Fuuuuuuuuuuck he sounded hot.

"Siete due solo amici?" The man quirked his head to the side. Keith looked back at Lance for a moment then back at the man.

"É complicato..." Lance looked between the two confused as all hell. Sure, Italian and Spanish had many similarities and many cognates but uh, what the fuck did they just say?  Something about something being complicated? The man smiled as he looked between the two of them and started to lead them down to the basement (not a good sign). As Lance followed the man and Keith down the stairway he noticed the orange glow that came from below. He then saw that the basement of the building was actually the restraunt which was lit by candle light. A bit more romantic than I was expecting...

The man led the two boys to their table which was a small table with two seats in the corner or the restraunt. On the table there were already menus layed out for them with a lit candle in the center. Both the boys sat down and the man took out a notepad. 

"Drinks?" The man asked.

"I'll just have a water," Lance supplied, not knowing if the man actually understood him.

"Due bicchieri d'acqua, grazie." Keith said with a smile. The man took the orders down on his notepad and then left the boys.

There was a slightly awkward silence between the two... Until Lance opened his mouth.

"So, you can speak Italian, huh?"

Keith smirked a little. "Yeah, I can also speak Korean and Japanese to." Lance gawked. 

"That's four languages! My brain can just about handle two!"

"Oh, and what two is that?" Keith inquired.

"English and Spanish..." Lance said, feeling slightly unimpresive.

"Spanish? I've actually been thinking about learning that one. Maybe you could tutor me sometime?" Lance perked at the thought.

"Yeah! Totally! And then maybe you could teach me one of your languages?" Lance asked and Keith smiled. But before Keith could reply the man came back with their drinks asking if they were ready to order. Guess they should've looked at the menus.


 

[Operation: Klance]

PidgeonLord: Where are they??? I tried texting the both but???? Nothing?????????

PrincessTakeNoShit: Keith took Lance out cause he was v bored

PidgeonLord: So they could be god knows where??

MemeHolt: At this point? Yup.

PidgeonLord: I'll just check the tracker in Lance's phone...

PrincessTakeNoShit: You put... A tracker... In Lance's phone?

PidgeonLord: When you live with him you kinda have to

TheWholeSomeone: They're right. Although it's a complete invasion of privacy we kinda have to know where he is at all times so he doesn't acidentially get arrested.

PidgeonLord: OH MY GOD

PidgeonLord: THEY'RE AT BELLO ITALIANO

PidgeonLord: WITHOUT ME?!!?!?

MemeHolt: They're getting some spaghett

PrincessTakeNoShit: Isn't that the most romantic Italian restraunt this side of town?

TheWholeSomeone: ....

MemeHolt: .....

PidgeonLord: THEY'RE GETTING PASTA WITHOUT ME

PidgeonLord: FORGET ABOUT THEIR HAPPIENESS.

MemeHolt: Pidge it isn't even authentic Italian idk why you're so pissed

PidgeonLord: PASTA, MATT. PASTA.

Chapter Text

"...And that's why you shouldn't trust a squirrel with your keys." Keith snorted at that. Stop being adorable you little piece of shit I hate you. Once Keith had stopped laughing it seemed like he had zoned out on Lance's face, as if trying to capture every detail. It was honestly kinda creepy.

"Potrei fissare i tuoi bellissimi occhi in eterno," Keith mumbled under his breath. Obviously, not quiet enough.

"What was that?" Lance asked. Keith looked taken aback as he sat up straight and visibly flushed.

"Oh uh, nothing. Sometimes I just mumble my thoughts aloud..." Keith looked embaressed. Awww. That was honesty adorable. But what the fuck did he just say?

"So uh, what does po- whatever the fuck you just said mean?" Keith only seemed to flush even more. Was it hot in here? In fact there was no way Keith was warm in that crop-top. It had no fucking sleeves! It looked like a turtleneck gone wrong!

"I- um. I was just wondering if we should... If we should get the check! I mean, it feels like we've been here forever." Keith rubbed the back of his neck. If Lance was honest, Keith was right. It felt like they'd been here for hours so they should probably get going. No matter how much I want to stay.

"Y-yeah. We probably should head back home," Lance stuttered. As Lance tried to stand up he almost tripped on his own feet. Almost. "To our respective homes I mean because uh... We don't live together,"

"Before we do can I... Can I take you one more place?" Keith asked shyly, getting up from his seat. Lance gave a smile as he nodded. "Cool! Uh... You head to the bike I'll um, pay the bill,"

Lance then headed out the restraunt and took a seat on Keith's bike as fast as he could. He placed a hand against his cheek and felt how warm it was. Fucking KeithFucking shithead who's adorable even when he doesn't mean to be that fucking dick ass fucker.


 

[The Adults]

Takashit: I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory

MemeHolt: Memeory*

PrincessTakeNoShit: When's it gonna get me? In my sleep? Seven feet ahead of me?

Takashit:.... What?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Did u just unintentionally reference Hamilton?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Have you never heard of Hamilton????????

Takashit: No?

PrincessTakeNoShit: You have invented a new kind of stupid.

Takashit: I'm sorry?

PrincessTakeNoShit: A damage you can never undo kind of stupid

PrincessTakeNoShit: An open all the cages in the zoo! Kinda stupid. Truely, you didn't think this through? Kinda stupid!

Takashit: What is going on?

MemeHolt: Just let her do her thing 'Kashi.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Let's review, you took a rumor a few, maybe two, people knew and refuted it by sharing an affair of which no one has accused you

PrincessTakeNoShit: I begged you to take a break. You refused to

Takashit: What.


 

The sun had started to set when Keith had parked his bike. They were somewhere that Lance didn't recognise. They were on a cliff that overhung a beach, looking out to the ocean. From where they were standing it looked as if the sun was sinking in the ocean. Keith got off of his bike and dragged Lance with him to sit on the grassy ledge of the cliff (not too close though). The grass was cold beneath them as well as the harsh wind. Lance looked over at Keith and noticed him shivering.

"Are you cold?"

Keith's head quickly turned to him but then he turned a bit sheepish. "I mean... Kinda. But I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Keith turned his head back infront of him.

Lance huffed. He decided to instead let Keith borrow his jacket. "Just take my hoodie dude, I barely need it." Lance placed his jacket over Keith's shoulders who seemed surprised.

"Thanks..." Keith didn't even look back at him. He just slipped his arms into the jacket and hugged his knees to his chest, creating a small, adorable ball. Bad call, BAD CALL MISSION FUCKING ABORT.

Lance tried to calm down by looking at the ocean infront of him. A trick that normally worked when he was a kid and practically grew up on Varadero beach. Something about the waves always seemed to calm him, something about how the waves lapped up on the beach as if it was it's own. It was as if the ocean was one of the only things that made sense to Lance.

"I used to sneak out here all the time when I was a kid," Keith said nostalgically. "My parents... They weren't bad people, not at all but sometimes they would fight, alot. We didn't have the mansion back then, it was a small house just down the road from here. I could always hear their fights so sometimes I had to get out of there, so I'd come here." Keith absent-mindedly picked at the grass.

"That... Must've been rough,"

"Not really, whenever I came back they had made-up or just stopped fighting for the night." Keith smiled as if recalling a sweet memory. "And like I said, they weren't bad people so nothing ever got, violent. Just loud."

There were a few beats of awkward silence between them, neither knowing what to say.

"But, isn't it beautiful?" Keith asked. When Lance looked at him he only saw Keith staring at the sun. He turned his head in the same direction as Keith's to stare at the monochromatic sunset. Lance never saw sunsets as beautiful, after all for him it was just a bunch of different shades of the exact same colour. Grey. Obviously he didn't see what Keith saw. He turned his head to Keith, to a more beautiful view. His features seemed brighter as the sun hit his face almost perfectly. His eyes were bright as he watched the sun sink down. Not to mention how vunareble he seemed in Lance's hoodie.

"Yeah, it is." Lance felt both a smile and a blush creeping onto his face. Both of which he wished had dissappeared as Keith turned his head to look back at Lance. Keith's face seemed to flush with colour and his eyes fell to the floor, darting around as if desperately searching for something.

If you ask Lance, he had no idea how it happened. All he knows it that one minute he's staring at Keith, the next minute his mouth is on his. What the fuck. What the FUCK. It was messy, uncoordinated, but it made sparks fly. Lance couldn't fucking breathe. It felt like his chest had exploded and the same thing that was killing him was also saving him. Keith. Keith, Keith, Keith. His lips were chapped and not at all soft, but Lance was already addicted and it was barely ten seconds before Keith pulled away with his eyes wide.

"I- I'm so fucking sorry I don't... I don't know what came over me and I just-" Keith stopped himself and huffed. "I'm sorry,"

"Why?"

"I don't know!"

"Do you... Like me?" Lance asked cautiously.

"I really don't know." Keith stared at the ground. "I know it's cliché but I've never felt this way about someone and it's really fucking confusing and I might be reading my own feelings wrong and that'd just make you confused and upset and that'd make me feel guilty and-"

Lance stared at him with sympathy. Keith wouldn't stop rambling about nonsense. Eventually Lance placed his hands ontop of Keith which, luckily, made him stop for a moment.

"How about... You take me home and we'll talk about it tomorrow?" Lance suggested. It looked like Keith was holding on to a breath of which he eventually let go.

"Yeah that's... That's a good idea." Keith smiled. Ughhhhhh fucking dickass thinks he can do that without consequences. Well he'll be the ones paying for my hospital bills when my heart explodes.

Lance let go of Keith's hands and the both made their way back to Keith's bike. Where Lance would... Have to hold tightly... Onto Keith...

This was either gonna be really cute or really awkward.


 

[4 broke af mofos]

PidgeonLord: Why is Lance screaming into the couch.

SlimShaydy: Idk but i'm just kinda rubbing his head till he calms down. Kinda like a cat

TheWholeSomeone: Can someone remind him that the last time he screamed like that the apartment downstairs called the cops?

SlimShaydy: "they can arrest Keith for being too cute"

PidgeonLord: Ah, so it's the date thing

SlimShaydy: Yup

McGayin: You guys dont UNDERSTAND

TheWholeSomeone: Then why don't you tell us?

McGayin: Hnnnnnggggg

PidgeonLord: Either take a shit or stop making that noise

SlimShaydy: C'mon Lance, tell us what's wrong

McGayin: ......

McGayin: Keith kissed me

PidgeonLord: He WHAT!?

SlimShaydy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I'M SO PROUD

TheWholeSomeone: This is the best day of my life.

SlimShaydy: Hey!

TheWholeSomeone: The best day of my life will eventually be when Shay and I get married

SlimShaydy: Whoa slow down there bud. We can't afford a wedding

PidgeonLord: Guys, focus

TheWholeSomone: Sorry. That's great Lance! So uh... Why are you here?

SlimShaydy: Yeah, shouldn't either you be at Keith's place or Keith be here or smth??

McGayin: No........

McGayin: Keith said he was kinda confused so we agreed to talk about it tomorrow and sort things out

PidgeonLord: Ug, fair

PidgeonLord: Oh and Lance? I have a bone to pick with u

McGayin: ?

PidgeonLord: YOU GOT PASTA WITHOUT ME????


 

[College kids are the WORST]

[PrincessTakeNoShit has changed the chat name to About Keef's date]

Takashit: It wasn't a date

MemeHolt: And i'm not gay

PrincessTakeNoShit: So Keefy boy, how was it????

SoftEmo: I don't wanna talk about it

MemeHolt: That bad, huh?

SoftEmo: Not bad! Just... Awkward.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Do you wanna get some ice cream and talk about while we watch trashy movies???

SoftEmo: As much as I find that a stereotype and cheesy it actually sounds pretty good right now, come on up.

MemeHolt: Wait aren't u lactose intolerent???

SoftEmo: Yes.

Takashit: Do you have your pills?

SoftEmo: No

Takashit: Then you can't have ice cream

SoftEmo: [Image attached]

SoftEmo: At least someone cares about my feELINGS

Takashit:..... I'm going to the drug store i'll be right back

SoftEmo: I love ice cream because it brings me closer to death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PrincessTakeNoShit: Was that Lance's jacket????

Chapter Text

[Operation: Klance]

PidgeonLord: Have they talked yet?

MemeHolt: I don't think so. I'm gonna put my phone on silent, I gotta get to class

PidgeonLord: K bye then

PrincessTakeNoShit: If Lance is ready to talk Keef will only be a few hours

PidgeonLord: From what I remember Keith doesn't have a job??

PrincessTakeNoShit: I let him eat an entire pint of ice cream last night

PidgeonLord: Why??

PrincessTakeNoShit: He was emoTIONAL PIDGE

SlimShaydy: EMOtional****

SlimShaydy: Any chance Keith would be ready sooner??? Lance is kinda taking up our entire couch

SlimShaydy: [Image attached]

PrincessTakeNoShit: ;-; poor thing

PrincessTakeNoShit: Sadly, Keef won't stop chucking up his stomach so I gotta go rub circles in his back and tie up his hair

PidgeonLord: See ya 

SlimShaydy: Should I wake up Lance???

PidgeonLord: Nah, let him have his moments of rest. 

PidgeonLord: Hes got the night shift tonight and lemme tell ya i dont envy him

SlimShaydy: rip


[SoftEmo > McGayin]

SoftEmo: Hey.

McGayin: Hey.

SoftEmo: So about last night.....

McGayin: Last night was one of the most romantic dates (if that's what you wanna call it) I've ever been on.

SoftEmo: No Lance you don't understand

SoftEmo: I didn't mean to kiss you.

McGayin: So you... don't like me?

SoftEmo: Yes.

SoftEmo: No!!!

SoftEmo: I don't know......

McGayin: I just want an answer Keith....

SoftEmo: I don't think I can give you one...

McGayin: ...

McGayin: In that case let me give you mine

McGayin: Yes.

SoftEmo: ?

McGayin: I don't know if you've noticed? But I really fucking like you. I like you so much that it annoys me to hell and back. I remember seeing you pull up in that cab and I lost the ability to speak in front of you. I remember coming to your place and when I first seen you in your crop-top and mini-skirt I couldn't fucking breathe. I remember playing Splatoon in your room and we ordered Chinese food and that's when I noticed that you were more than a crush to me. I remember when you called me during a panic attack asking me to tell you a story and I fell even further just from knowing how much trust that took to call me.

McGayin: So yeah i'm not sure if you've noticed but i'd go fuckin gay 4 u

SoftEmo: And there goes the moment.

McGayin: If you want you can have more time... I just wanted to let you know how I felt about the whole situation...

SoftEmo: .....Yes.

McGayin: What.

SoftEmo: I'm no good with words but... I've been able to connect to you faster than i've ever connected to anyone. Being demi-romantic is kinda hard when you can only really fall in love with your friends who 'don't wanna ruin the great friendship they have'.  Ever since I seen your beautiful blue voice I knew there was something special about you. No one else knows this but everyone else's voices are always dark and murky, yours is the only naturally bright blue i've ever seen.

SoftEmo: I'm seriously bad at putting my feelings into words but... I really like you too

McGayin: So... Where do we go from here?

SoftEmo: I guess we're dating? Is that how it works?

McGayin: I think so? I mean, i've been in relationships before but like, they never started out this awkward...

SoftEmo: Oh. I've never been in a relationship before, i hope that doesn't change anything?

McGayin: What?! Ofc not! Why would it!?

SoftEmo: I don't know. Y'know what, fuck the awkwardness

SoftEmo: Lance whatever whatever McClain, will you officially go gay for me and become my boyfriend

McGayin: How about we compromise and I stay bi af (And my middle name is Alejandro not whatever whatever, but creative)

SoftEmo: That's fair. (LAM huh?)

McGayin: Do we tell the others? (Yup! I once almost legally added my Mama's maiden name of Sanchez just so my initals would be LAMS)

SoftEmo: Do you want your neck teared off by Shiro? (You are actual Hamilton trash. I like it)

McGayin: Not really I kinda need my neck. (More like Lamiltrash)

SoftEmo: Well then, I guess we're a secret (Holy fuck)


 

[Operation: Klance]

PrincessTakeNoShit: Keef's texting someone

PidgeonLord: So is Lance

MemeHolt: Do you think that they're texting eachother?

SlimShaydy: Well I highly doubt that they're both texting Shiro

MemeHolt: Fair.

TheWholeSomeone: Guys this is like, a huge invasion of privacy, should we be doing this?

PidgeonLord: That's the exact same thing you said when I put trackers in all your phones

SlimShaydy: You what.

PidgeonLord: Wait, Lance looks sad.

PidgeonLord: He looks like hes about to cry???

PidgeonLord: LANCE IS CRYING WHAT DID KEITH DO!?!?!?

PrincessTakeNoShit: MORE LIKE WHAT DID LANCE DO BECAUSE KEITH IS CRYING!!!!

SlimShaydy: WHY ARE BOTH MY GAYBIES CRYING!??!!?

MemeHolt: Gaybies

PidgeonLord: GUYS THIS ISN'T FUNNY.

PidgeonLord: FUCK IT I'M GIVING LANCE A HUG BC HE NEEDS ONE

PrincessTakeNoShit: DON'T COMPROMISE THE MISSION PIDGE!!

SlimShaydy: Allura, go hug Keith

PrincessTakeNoShit: But....

PrincessTakeNoShit: Fine.


 

[PidgeonLord has added SoftEmo and McGayin to A gay, a bi and an ace walk into a bar]

PidgeonLord: So I managed to hack your phone earlier Mr. Lance Alejandro McClain

PidgeonLord: Lamiltrash, really?

SoftEmo: Pidge pls don't say anything this relationship literally started like, 3 hours ago we don't want anyone to make a fuss or anything

McGayin: Do not judge me for my excellent pun-making abilities

PidgeonLord: Oh i'm not gonna say anything. Just as long as Keith pays my share of the rent until you guys come out.

SoftEmo: Pidge you... You don't have to blackmail me I will willingly give you the money if you need it

PidgeonLord: KEITH THAT MAKES ME FEEL GUILTY AND POOR JUST LET ME DO IT MY WAY.

SoftEmo: Fine... Oh no, i guess i have no choice but to give my best friend money to pay off their rent so they can fucking live because they won't admit that they need the money

McGayin: I can feel the sarcasm from the other side of town

PidgeonLord: Thank you. Muhahahaha

McGayin: Wait bby how old are you?

SoftEmo: 23

McGayin: FUCK yes i gotta Sugar Daddy.

SoftEmo: Call me a sugar daddy again and you won't anymore

McGayin: D:


 

[WHO WANT'S A CAT?!]

Takashit: I am just letting you all know that I am officially going to murder Lance

McGayin: WHAT DID I DO!?

Takashit: I found my baby brother crying in his bathroom and you're the only person who would've made him cry

McGayin: Are you sure it wasn't just some fake emo tweet about MCR getting back together

SoftEmo: DON'T EVEN JOKE ABOUT THAT LANCE

PidgeonLord: He really lives up to his username

SlimShaydy: Were you listening to DEH? That always makes me cry

SoftEmo: Not this time but Words Fail is probably just as sad as Who Lives Who dies Who tells your story???

SoftEmo: If you consider the fact that Words Fail reads like a suicide note

PrincessTakeNoShit: As much as we all love musicals we need to get back on topic. WHY WERE YOU CRYING IN THE BATHROOM KEEF?!?!

SoftEmo: I was cry laughing??? Am I not allowed to laugh?

MemeHolt: No. By official emo order you are not allowed to laugh, smile, giggle, or show any sign of happyness or even be happy and you must constantly be misirable and complain about having no will to live

SoftEmo: Well shoot, guess I gotta say goodbye to Lance forever then

Takashit: Excuse me what?

MemeHolt: ^

PrincessTakeNoShit: ^^

SlimShaydy: ^^^^^

TheWholeSomeone: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

SoftEmo: What? Am I now not allowed to say if I think my friends are funny?

TheWholeSomeone: Not like that...

PidgeonLord: Yeah that sounds kinda intemate....

McGayin: That is not how you spell intimate

PidgeonLord: Actually that is how I spell it fucker.


 

[McGayinSoftEmo]

McGayin: So are we going for the act like a couple even thought our friends don't know we're a couple approach?

SoftEmo: Sure?

McGayin: Nice <3

SoftEmo: <3

Chapter Text

[WHO WANT'S A CAT?!]

PidgeonLord: Everybody whos name begins with an L sucks

McGayin: Well I mean....

Takashit: I have to agree

McGayin: Wow. Betrayed by a stranger.

MemeHolt: Don't talk mean like that! You'll hurt his feelingssss

PrincessTakeNoShit: Matt i'm gonna stop you right there

PrincessTakeNoShit: What did Lance do this time?

McGayin: You're saying it as if i'm known for doing bad things

SoftEmo: :/

McGayin: Top 10 anime betrayals

PidgeonLord: He turned off my laptop

SoftEmo: Okay yeah that's punishable by death

McGayin: I'm being punished for doing my friend a favour????

PidgeonLord: I LOST A MONTHS WORK OF UNSAVED CODE LANCE. A MONTH

McGayin:.... Whoopsies?

SlimShaydy: To be fair Pidge you should turn your laptop off every now and again

PidgeonLord: I thought you were at work?

SlimShaydy: Break

SlimShaydy: Now apologise to Lance. He didn't know that you hadn't saved your work and in his defense he thought he was being nice

PidgeonLord: ....Yes mom

PidgeonLord: Sorry Lance....

SlimShaydy: I meant in real life Pidge.

PidgeonLord:  ;-;

McGayin: I love our chat mom

McGayin: I just got a little Pidgeon apology. I feel special

PidgeonLord: Yeah whatever.

MemeHolt: My sibling??? Apologising???? That's more unbelieveable than them having friends

PidgeonLord: Watch it Matthew Rosá Holt.

MemeHolt: *Gasps in Italian* How dare?

Takashit: Your middle name is Rosá?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Aww! Matt that's adorable!!

MemeHolt: I can't even get payback because Pidge legally changed their name so now I actually don't know what their middle name is

PidgeonLord: :P

MemeHolt: Fuck it. ALLURA'S MIDDLE NAME IS ANNABELLE!

PrincessTakeNoShit: OH FUCK YOU ROSÁ

McGayin: Allura Annabell Altea, Triple A

PrincessTakeNoShit: Like you can say anything Mr. LAM

SoftEmo: Better than having the initials of a battery type

McGayin: OH SHIT

PrincessTakeNoShit: Oh shut up Keef......

SlimShaydy: ...

MemeHolt: ...

PidgeonLord: ........

SoftEmo: .... None of you know my middle name do you?

Takashit: Well it's not exactly like you've told any of them.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Well neither have you Shiro!

Takashit: .....I'M JAPANESE

Takashit: WE DON'T HAVE MIDDLE NAMES

SoftEmo: Then why do I have one?

Takashit: You were born in the states, our parents wanted you to 'be more Western'

McGayin: Okay enough about that wth is your middle name Keith!?!?!?

SoftEmo: Akira

PidgeonLord: Really? I ask for years and I don't get an answer, Lance asks once and you tell him???

PrincessTakeNoShit: Akira? Keef Akira Kogane.... I like it

SlimShaydy: How do I pronounce it??? I just want to be sure

SoftEmo: Ah-Ki-Ra

MemeHolt: .......

McGayin: THE MASSES CHEERING, (A)KIRA

MemeHolt: DON'T KNOW HE'S LIGHT YAGAMI, PLAYING HIS DANGEROUS GAAAAAAAAAME

SoftEmo: ???

PidgeonLord: Seriously???


 

[McGayinSoftEmo]

McGayin: Just letting you know how much I value you b4 you go to sleep

SoftEmo: Lance what the fuck it's 2am

McGayin: <3 <3

SoftEmo: ...Fine <3

McGayin: :D

SoftEmo: You okay?

McGayin: Yeah, just sleepy is all <3

SoftEmo: Ugh, you're an emotional tired aren't you?

McGayin: <3

SoftEmo: <3


 

[Operation: Klance]

PrincessTakeNoShit: Okay what was up with them yesterday?

SlimShaydy: What do you mean?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Ummmm? Keith defending Lance??? Keith answering a question he hasn't answered for any of us in an instant??

TheWholeSomeone: I can't say anything about the defending him part but did any of you ever ask the question???

MemeHolt: Multiple times I have, yes.

TheWholeSomeone: I can't really see why he'd give an answer to you....

SlimShaydy: Roasted

TheWholeSomeone: I'm not being mean i've just read over conversations and the way you talk to him makes it seem like you two don't really take eachother seriously too often

SlimShaydy: accidentially roasted

PrincessTakeNoShit: Okay but I know that Pidge has asked before and Keith never told them??

PrincessTakeNoShit: I thought he was embaressed about it but apparently not enough to hide it from Lance?

PrincessTakeNoShit: Susp

SlimShaydy: ^

TheWholeSomeone: Shay bby not u too pls

SlimShaydy: I'm sorry sweetie, also what time r u home? I need to talk

MemeHolt: Uh oh.... Hunk's in trouuuuuuubbleeeeeeeeee

TheWholeSomeone: My shift ends in about an hour. So around then give or take 15 minutes.

SlimShaydy: Ok den <3

TheWholeSomeone: <3

PrincessTakeNoShit: THIS ISN'T OPERATION: HUNAY

PrincessTakeNoShit: THAT'S A LATER MATTER TO BE DISSCUSSED

SlimShaydy: ??? How???

MemeHolt: We wanna get you two hitched.

PidgeonLord: *Choking noises of surprise bc that was the first thing they saw when they opened the messenger*

Chapter Text

[College kids are the WORST]

SoftEmo: Lance is coming over

PrincessTakeNoShit: Okay.

SoftEmo: Wait did Matt and Shiro leave for work already??

PrincessTakeNoShit: They left like... two hours ago.

SoftEmo: oh....

SoftEmo: Well then Lance is coming over and we're spending the entire day in my room. He also might stay over it depends

PrincessTakeNoShit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SoftEmo: How about no.......

PrincessTakeNoShit: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

MemeHolt: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

PrincessTakeNoShit: Aren't you teaching a class???????

MemeHolt:  Kids are doing a test. I got free time

MemeHolt: Also Keith, nice

SoftEmo: I'm leaving.

MemeHolt: HOLD UP MISTER

MemeHolt: YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR DOOR OPEN OR AT LEAST KEEP QUIET

SoftEmo: ......

MemeHolt: AND USE PROTECTION!!!

[SoftEmo has gone offline]

MemeHolt: My job here is done

[MemeHolt has gone offline]


[SoftEmoMcGayin]

SoftEmo: I've sent a car to pick you up, Shiro and Matt are in work so only Allura and Jeffery are in for now and they won't bother us much

McGayin: idc, I just wanna see you again <3

SoftEmo: I just threw up in my mouth

McGayin: Aw, i'm I too sweet? Maybe we can spice things up when I get to your room ;)

SoftEmo: Or maybe we could just cuddle and watch netflix in some comfy pjs

McGayin: That sounds alot better actually bless <3

SoftEmo: <3

McGayin: So um... What are you wearing?

SoftEmo:...

SoftEmo: Are you trying to... sext me?

McGayin: What!? No!!!!

McGayin: I just need to prepare myself if youre wearing a skirt again

SoftEmo: ????? Why?????

McGayin: bc youre too cute and you might kill me

SoftEmo: It's just a skirt????

SoftEmo: Girls wear skirts all the time???

McGayin: I think skrts show how confident you are with your body and i like it when people are confident because if other ppl are insecure then I get super insecure because hnnnnnnnng

SoftEmo: Hnnnnnnnnnng??????

McGayin: I'M NOT GOOD AT ARTICULATING MY FEELINGS


 

[Operation: Klance]

PrincessTakeNoShit: So Lance is at our place and both he and Keith locked themselves in Keith's room

PidgeonLord: Nice.

MemeHolt: I love my sibling

PidgeonLord: No.

SlimShaydy: Whilest everyone is here, Hunk and I want to say something

TheWholeSomeone: Are you sure you wanna do this?

PidgeonLord: I'm scared

SlimShaydy: You should be.

SlimShaydy: Pidge... Do you remember the peanut butter incident? and then catching me throwing up the next morning?

PidgeonLord: Yeah..

MemeHolt: Peanut butter incident?

PrincessTakeNoShit: OH.

SlimShaydy: [Image attached]

SlimShaydy: It's a bit blurry but that's a + sign

PidgeonLord: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PrincessTakeNoShit: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

MemeHolt: Congratulations!

PrincessTakeNoShit: OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODAREYOUSERIOUS!?!?!?

SlimShaydy: I was thinking Ruby for a girl and maybe Malachi for a boy?

PidgeonLord: How many weeks???

SlimShaydy: 5/6

PidgeonLord: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

PrincessTakeNoShit: HUNAY BABIES! HUNAY BABIES!!!

MemeHolt: How's the father-to-be feeling?

TheWholeSomeone: *internal screaming*

PidgeonLord: same

SlimShaydy: Oh... I'm getting Pidge hugs... So soft and pure

MemeHolt: I'm jealous. Pidge hasn't hugged me in 14 years

PidgeonLord: u don't deserve my hugs

TheWholeSomeone: [Image attached]

TheWholeSomeone: Pure.

PrincessTakeNoShit: My soul is cleansed of all sins

PidgeonLord: Are you guys gonna tell Lance, Keith and Shiro???

SlimShaydy: Yeah..... speaking of Lance...

TheWholeSomeone: He's been spending alot of time at your guy's place and well... we kind of need a room of the baby.... You guys have A TON of room apparently...

PrincessTakeNoShit: .... You want Lance to move in with us?

MemeHolt: FUCK YEAH

PrincessTakeNoShit: MATT!!! We need to consult Shiro and Lance first!

MemeHolt: ...

MemeHolt: Fiiiiiiiiiiine

PidgeonLord: You didn't mention Keith? Wouldn't Keith need to be consuted aswell?

PrincessTakeNoShit: We all know that Keith would be totally down for this and would move Lance in here in a heartbeat

SlimShaydy: She's... Not wrong.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Will you talk to them tomorrow?

TheWholeSomeone: Well we'll kind of have to

PrincessTakeNoShit: Good. Know, I have a bath to get to

MemeHolt: ALLURA IF YOU TOUCH MY SHAMPOO AGAIN I WILL SHAVE YOUR HEAD AND SEE WHICH SHAMPOO YOU'LL USE THEN

 

Chapter Text

[WHO WANTS A CAT?!]

PidgeonLord: What would you guys do if I accidentially hacked into classified FBI files????

TheWholeSomeone: Pidge, it's 3am

PidgeonLord: So why are you awake

SlimShaydy: He's getting me ice cream from the store

TheWholeSomeone: All I see are half-asleep young adults buying packs of ramen and coffee, not to mention the dead-inside teenager cashier

SlimShaydy: Thank you again for going for me <3

TheWholeSomeone: <3

PidgeonLord: Ew. Anyway answer the question

SoftEmo: I'd fight them if they found out

PidgeonLord: Bless.

SilmShaydy: Wait are you asking because....

PidgeonLord: Maybe

SoftEmo: Pidge! I thought I taught you better than to admit to your crimes!!

PidgeonLord: Relax, to FBI and CIA these groupchats don't even exist

SoftEmo: Oh, in that case i lit a dude's car on fire once

SlimShaydy: What.

SoftEmo: It was some guy from Pidge's classes in highschool, he was a dick to them so he had to say goodbye to his car

PidgeonLord: Wait you were the one who lit Dustin's Porche on fire????

PidgeonLord: Have I ever said how much I platonically love you????

TheWholeSomeone:  Keith, Is Lance with you rn?

SoftEmo: Yeah, but he fell asleep like, 2 hours ago? I don't wanna wake him up because look at him

SoftEmo: [Image attached]

SoftEmo: It's like looking at the face of an angel

PidgeonLord: Gayyyyyyy

TheWholeSomeone: Okay well, can you tell him that Shay and I need to talk to him asap once he's awake?

SoftEmo: Sure


[PidgeonLord > Takashit]

PidgeonLord: Hello Shiro.

Takashit: Pidge can it wait? I have to get to work really soon.

PidgeonLord: Oh sure it can wait, unless you want people to know about to conversation you had with Lance using Allura's phone.

Takashit: ...

PidgeonLord: You really thought you deleted that chat huh? Well did you know that there's an entire archive of deleted chats that is oh so easy to access?

PidgeonLord: But seriously Shiro, what the fuck?

Takashit: I can explain,

PidgeonLord: Can you? Because I've actually been craving some bullshit recently

PidgeonLord: You can say that he's your brother and you were just trying to protect him. But you shouldn't shield someone if you don't even know if the sword is there

PidgeonLord: Lance isn't some fuckboi messing around. He cares about Keith. And from what i'm seeing he cares about Keith's feelings more than you ever have

PidgeonLord: Consider yourself so fucking lucky that i've not told the others yet. But if you make one more wrong move then everything comes out

Takashit: Pidge you have to understand i'm just trying to do what's best for him!

PidgeonLord: By controling his life and hurting others?

PidgeonLord: Lance is like a brother to me. He's been there for me every single time i've needed him. Sure, he flirts alot but I have never, and I mean never, seen him so infatuated with someone. He looks at Keith the same way you used to look at Matt.

PidgeonLord: Oh and by the way, Hunk and Shay are going to ask something in the groupchat, and you better be supportive

Takashit:... I will.


 

[WHO WANTS A CAT?!]

[TheWholeSomeone has changed the groupchat name to WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

SoftEmo: *Raises hand*

McGayin: Okay.

SlimShaydy: Shiro, Keith, there's something Hunk and I need to both annouce and ask of you

Takashit: Okay?

TheWholeSomeone: Well you see, Shay and I are now expecting a baby...

PidgeonLord: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Takashit: Congratulations!!!

SoftEmo: I didn't think you two did that but uhh..... CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

SlimShaydy: ...Thanks. Anyway, our apartment is kinda small and we need a room for the baby... We know Pidge and Lance wouldn't share a room and we don't have the money to move so we were wondering if possibly....

Takashit: Of course Lance can move in with us

PrincessTakeNoShit: Wait what?

SlimShaydy: Seriously!?

Takashit: Our place has like, what? 5 spare bedrooms?

MemeHolt: LANCE MY MEME MAN!

McGayin: You guys okay if I start bringing all my stuff tomorrow?

PrincessTakeNoShit: fuck yes you should've brought it yesterday boi

McGayin: I feel so welcomed <3

PidgeonLord: Y'know what, I'll finally be able to get to work without having to wait for someone to finish combing their hair

McGayin: <3


[SoftEmo > McGayin]

SoftEmo: So uhh... You're moving in, huh?

McGayin: Keith you're literally sat right next to me why are you texting me?

SoftEmo: Because i'm a little too shocked to speak right now and I need a few moments to process the fact that you'll be living here

McGayin: Awww babe <3

McGayin: You know this means that we'll be able to see eachother more? Everyday infact

McGayin: You've gone pretty red... Are you okay?

McGayin: opupij


 

[Operation: Klance]

PrincessTakeNoShit: I just heard a large bang from upstairs

PrincessTakeNoShit: So either lance just jumped on keith or keith beat lance at mario kart again

PidgeonLord: Probably both

SlimShaydy: Both pretty valid conclusions

PrincessTakeNoShit: Wait..... WAIT

PrincessTakeNoShit: OHMYGOD I NEED TO GET OF HERE, 

SlimShaydy: What's going on???


 

[PrincessTakeNoShitPidgeonLord]

PrincessTakeNoShit: I THINK THEY'RE FUCKING!?!?!?

PidgeonLord: About time.

PrincessTakeNoShit: Wait.... DID YOU KNOW!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!!?

PidgeonLord: lol yeah

PidgeonLord: I knew like, as soon as they got together

PrincessTakeNoShit: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!?!?!?

PidgeonLord: Bc It got Keith paying my rent until they tell

PrincessTakeNoShit: .......Nice.

 

Chapter Text

[College kids are the WORST]

MemeHolt: I have a class to teach in 4 hours but i've also got to order the suits and hire a caterer and not to mention i've got to mark these practice tests i gave the kids 2 weeks ago hnnnnnnnnng

PrincessTakeNoShit: This is why you don't plan a wedding in the middle of the semester

MemeHolt: hhnnnnnnnnnnNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[SoftEmo has changed the groupchat name to LetMattRest2k18]

MemeHolt: Pls ;-;

Takashit: I can always order the suits and hire the caterer?

MemeHolt: No because you woNT GET THE RIGHT SUITS TAKASHI

PrincessTakeNoShit: Y'know I know this amazing caterer and since she owes me a favour I can get you guys a 25% discount

MemeHolt: Bless.

Takashit: We don't...... Need a discount

MemeHolt: Shiro i know you're rich af but take the discount when it's offered to you

PrincessTakeNoShit: Oh! And if you pay extra her son will make a personalized wedding cakee

SoftEmo: cakee

[PrincessTakeNoShit has changed their username to Cakee]

Cakee: I'm awaree of my mistakees

Cakee: If you guys want I can contact heer now?

MemeHolt: ALLURA YOU'RE AMAZING I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH

SoftEmo: I could probably find some matching suits for you guys if you want?

MemeHolt: KEITH OH MY GOD YES PLEASE

Takashit: Wait so you trust Keith with the suits but not me??

MemeHolt: Shiro, sweetie, love of my life, soulmate, 

MemeHolt: When I asked you to get fruit loops from the store you came home with fruity rings

MemeHolt: FRUITY RINGS ARE NOT FRUIT LOOPS SHIRO THEY'RE CHEAP IMITATIONS

Takashit: That was two years ago Matt.

MemeHolt: And when was the last time you went grocery shopping?

Takashit: .....Two years ago

[SoftEmo has added McGayin to LetMattRest2k18]

SoftEmo: End this discourse

McGayin: Sup fuckers

Cakee: LANCEE

McGayin: ALLURA!

Takashit: Why is he here?

SoftEmo: Because this chat if for the people who live here and Lance will soon be living here

McGayin: Shiro! Thank you so much for letting me live in your house"

Takashit: It's my pleasure....

McGayin: Seriously dude, i've gotta do something to pay you guys back

Cakee: Lancee, I haveen't payeed theem back in threeee yeears so chill

McGayin: Okay but consider this,

McGayin: Mama didn't raise no freeloader

Cakee: *gasp* I feeeel attackeed

SoftEmo: I think that was the point


 

[Cakee has added SoftEmoMcGayin, and PidgeonLord to We know]

Cakee: You guys need soundproofing

SoftEmo: ???

McGayin: What?

PidgeonLord: Allura heard you guys fucking yesterday

SoftEmo: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

McGayin: So uh, Keith is loud isn't he?

SoftEmo: Lance sHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

McGayin: But you were so cute yesterday~ You literally wouldn't let go of me and it was fucking adorable~

SoftEmo: I'm going to give you one last chance till you shut your face otherwise you're sleeping in your own room tonight

McGayin: </3

Cakee: But seeriously guys you weeree so lucky that Shiro wasn't homee.

SoftEmo: Are you seriously commiting to that

Cakee: Yees.

McGayin: Listen, if Shiro finds out then Shiro finds out. I'm willing to have my spine broken for Keith

SoftEmo: <3

Cakee: Okay theen....


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

SlimShaydy: Have you guys ever noticed how in Alexander Hamilton when Lafayette and Mulligan say 'We fought with him' that they also play Jefferson and Maddison???

McGayin: Have you ever noticed that Anthony Ramos says 'Me? I died for him' and he plays both Laurens and Phillip H?

SoftEmo:..... FUCK

TheWholeSomeone: GoddaMN IT LIN AND YOUR CASTING CHOICES

PidgeonLord: SmArTs

Cakee: You guys eeveer noticeed how Peeggy is the leeast seeeen characteer of theem all

TheWholeSomeone: What are you doing. Stop that

Cakee: Neeveer

McGayin: Allura say Eevee

SlimShaydy: NO

Cakee: Eeeveee

PidgeonLord: I have seen hell

Cakee: Heell*

PidgeonLord: no.

SoftEmo: This needs to stop

McGayin: You need to stop

SoftEmo: Stop what?

McGayin: You know what

SoftEmo: I know what?

McGayin: You know.

SoftEmo: I know?

McGayin: Y'know, being cute

SoftEmo: Oh.

PidgeonLord: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

SlimShaydy: ExcUSE ME!?!?!?

TheWholeSomeone: UmmMMMMMMMMMMMM?????????

McGayin: What?

SlimShaydy: WERE YOU TWO LIKE.... FLIRTING OR SOMETHING?

McGayin: Flirting? We weren't flirting

SoftEmo: No we were not.

Cakee: Yees theey weeree

SoftEmo: No we weren't shut your face

Cakee: Can't shut what was neeveer open

SoftEmo: Fuck you

McGayin: Maybe later

Takashit: ExCuSe Me?!?!?!?!

Cakee: Oh shit.

 

Chapter Text

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

McGayin: Dude, chill it was a joke

PidgeonLord: God Shiro, don't you have a sense of humor -_-

Takashit: At this point I don't have a sense of anything.

SlimShaydy: mood

TheWholeSomeone: D:

SlimShaydy: Maybe i'd have a sense of something if someone brings me some marshmellows home?

TheWholeSomeone: I'm already on my way home so i'll stop off at the store and get some

SlimShaydy: <3

SoftEmo: Shay is all i aspire to be at this point

McGayin: You aspire to be a pregnant woman?

SoftEmo: If it means I get a boyfriend who pampers me like the royalty I am then fuck yes.

Cakee: Fair

SlimShaydy: ( ̄ー ̄)b

[SlimShaydy has changed their username to MarShayllows]

SoftEmo: Nice.


 

[PidgeonLordTakashit]

PidgeonLord: Did I not warn you enough?

Takashit: No. You didn't.

PidgeonLord: ?

Takashit: I couldn't give less shits what you say about Lance. There is no way he is touching my baby brother

PidgeonLord: You better be careful what you say Shiro. You know what dirt i've got

Takashit: Go ahead. Tell them.

Takashit: I know you won't

PidgeonLord: .......

PidgeonLord: I'm surprised I didn't notice it before.

PidgeonLord: You really have Shiro down don't you? Even his dark humor.

Takashit: What gave me away?

PidgeonLord: The harsh tone is what led me to check the tracker in Shiro's phone which led me to your residence.

PidgeonLord: Lotor, Is it?

Takashit: Indeed.

PidgeonLord: How did you get Shiro's phone anyways? 

Takashit: The idiot left it at work after he went home for the day. He doesn't put a password on his phone so how could I resist wreaking some havoc?

PidgeonLord: May you switch to speaking on your phone? It's very strange to see my friends username when talking to someone else.

Takashit: Of course. Just a moment.


 

[WalkingL'orealCommercial PidgeonLord]

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Is this better?

PidgeonLord: I believe it is.

PidgeonLord: Listen, I don't know your motives but you better stop whatever the fuck you're doing.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Is Keith single?

PidgeonLord: What?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: You see, Shiro just loves to talk about his little brother to anyone who'll listen. Of course, I being his fortunate co-scientist hear many stories about 'little Keithy'

WalkingL'orealCommercial: It wasn't till today I finally get to see what this strange boy looks like from photos on Shiro's phone. And honestly?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: [Image attached]

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Damn.

PidgeonLord: You better back the fuck of you perv.

PidgeonLord: First of all, no. Keith isn't single. And I'm pretty sure he would NEVER date a guy like you.

PidgeonLord: Second of all, he's demiromantic. And I don't think he'd even bother looking in your direction much less even be friends with you

PidgeonLord: And lasty, do you think Shiro would even dare let you touch him? Because, yeah I may be protective of Keith, but he's the one you better watch out for.

PidgeonLord: I suggest you delete the chat you and I just had. Id rather there be no visible evidence of this encounter.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: ...Agreed.


 

Lance loaded the last box in the truck Shiro had hired for him. He honestly didn't have much stuff he needed to take since the room was already furnished (and he wouldn't be spending much time in that room anyways). Lance shut the back of the truck and locked it just to make sure the door didn't open in the process of driving. Lance then felt two large arms wrap around him and loud, emotional cries.

"I'm gonna miss you dude!" Hunk sobbed. Lance gave a small chuckle as he tried to escape his best friend's death grip. He looked to Shay do help only to see her giggling, the traitor.

"It's not like i'm moving to another country! Just the other side of town," Lance tried to console.

"I know but it's just that," He sniffed. "We've been rooming since college and even before that I stayed at your house at least every week! It just won't feel the same." Hunk finally let go.

"Dude, trust me. I know. But you guys are having a baby! I mean that's insane!" Lance looked between both of his friends. Shay subtly placed a hand over her stomach once Lance had mentioned the baby.

"We're really gonna miss you Lance. You better visit us," Shay threatend as she wrapped him in a tight hug. "I sure as hell want this kid to know his godfather,"

Lance froze for a second. He didn't hear that right, right? There was no way. Shay let go and smiled at Lance as he only stared at her in awe.

"Wait, seriously?" Lance started to grin. "You want me, to be your child's... Godfather?"

"Who else would we ask?" Shay asked as if the answer was obvious.

"Oh my god," Lance felt water gather at his eyes, but held back the tears of joy instead. The driver of the truck then honked the truck's horn, signaling Lance to get in inside. "Okay uh, shit. I really have to go right now guys but, seriously? I love you guys! I'm gonna be the greatest godfather ever! Just wait and see!" Lance said as he jumped into the passenger seat of the truck. He stuck his head out the window to wave at his friends who only smiled and waved goodbye to him as the truck started to move. He wasn't going to mention how he saw Hunk crying.


[ LetMattRest2k18]

MemeHolt: Has anybody seen Shiro's phone????????????????

Cakee: No?

SoftEmo: I have literally not left my room so no.

McGayin: Technically I don't live there yet so nope!

MemeHolt: He hasn't seen it since he got home and i'm panicking

MemeHolt: 'I'll just buy a new one Matt it's not a big deal' CAN SOMEONE TELL THIS BOI THAT IT IS A V BIG DEAL

Cakee: On my way to teell him how stupid hee is

MemeHolt: Bless.

SoftEmo: So bby how far away are you?

McGayin: Only 10 mins now, see you soon x

MemeHolt: ?????????????Excuse me??????????????????

Cakee: Don't queestion it. Just acceept it.

MemeHolt: Are you two???????

MemeHolt: DaTiNg!?!?!?!?!

SoftEmo: Don't tell Shiro.

MemeHolt: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cakee: Mood.

McGayin: Is Shiro the only one who doesn't know now?

SoftEmo:...........Yes?

Cakee: Okay one second.


 

[Operation: Klance]

[Cakee has added SoftEmo, and McGayin to Operation: Klance]

SoftEmo: How long has this existed?

PidgeonLord: Since chapter 3

SoftEmo: What?

PidgeonLord: What?

MarShayllows: So.... Klance confirmed?

Cakee: Klancee confirmeed.

TheWholeSomeone: YES!

McGayin: I'm proud of myself for getting the adorable, hot, cute Keith Kogane to date me <3

SoftEmo: I'm proud of myself for putting up with your dumb ass <3

McGayin: Aww babe <3

PidgeonLord: Um.... That isn't.....

MarShayllows: Shhh, let them have this.

MemeHolt: Dude, you need to marry Keith

SoftEmo: Uhh, that's kinda fast...

McGayin: Not that i'm against the idea but uh, why?

MemeHolt: *Whispers* We'd be brothers-in-law

McGayin: *Gasp* Keith will you marry me?

SoftEmo: -_-

PidgeonLord: IT WASN'T A NO!

MarShayllows: IT WASN'T A NO!!!!!!!!

TheWholeSomeone: It wasn't a yes...

Cakee: I dunno that looks like a 'maybe later' face

SoftEmo: Txt me when you're here bby <3

[SoftEmo has gone offline]

Cakee: In all thee yeears i'vee known Keeeef hee has neeveer shorteened his words likee that.

MemeHolt: Its a miracle.

McGayin: <3

Chapter Text

[Operation: Klance]

McGayin:  @Keith

Cakee: You two aree liteerally dating.

SoftEmo: What the heck I gotta dooooo, to stay with chu?

PidgeonLord: (What the heck I gotta do)

McGayin: Who do I have to beeeee, for you to keep lovin' me?

MemeHolt: Cute

Cakee: Bleh

PidgeonLord: Two types of people

TheWholeSomeone: So Lance, how's the new place?

McGayin: AHHHHHH IT'S AMAZING!!! MY ROOM IS THE SIZE OF THE APARTMENT

MarShayllows: Woah

McGayin: [X12 Images attached]

PidgeonLord: 9 of those are basically just pictures of Keith

McGayin: He deserves to be admired

[Cakee has changed McGayin's username to NewRichKid]

NewRichKid: Wow

Cakee: You neeeedeed a changee

SoftEmo: blue can you come back to my room?

NewRichKid: why do I have to go back to yours?

SoftEmo: Bc you don't have netflix in yours

NewRichKid: Fair.

Cakee: You two aree only alloweed to go if I don't heear you fucking again

MemeHolt: omg what

TheWholeSomeone: Again?

SoftEmo: How can you hear us doing something *again* if we haven't done it before

PidgeonLord: You mean you two.... Haven't fucked yet?

NewRichKid: What omg no I was kidding last time

SoftEmo: As if i'd give up my virginity that easily

SoftEmo: I thought you had more faith in me

MemeHolt: Wait so that means....

MarShayllows: Don't you dare

MemeHolt: Klance is currently more wholesome than Hunay

Cakee: *Gasps in Spanish*

PidgeonLord: *Drops glass of water*

NewRichKid: *Faints*

SoftEmo: *Looks into camera like he's on the office*


 

[LetMattRest2k18]

Takashit: I finally got my phone back

SoftEmo: Where was it?

Takashit: I left it at the office again. Luckily Lotor found it and gave it back to me

MemeHolt: Bless.

Takashit: Speaking of Lotor, you guys should really meet him. He's pretty cool

SoftEmo: Haha, no thanks.

NewRichKid: You okay Keith?

Takashit: Oh c'mon Keith. You and Lotor would hit it off pretty well actually! I wouldn't be surprised if you two really hit it off

SoftEmo: Nah, it's fine.

Takashit: Just once?

NewRichKid: Shut your face Shiro.

Takashit: Excuse me?

NewRichKid: You heard me. Shut. Your. Face.

NewRichKid: Now if you'll excuse me.

[NewRichKid has gone offline]


Lance ran from the kitchen as soon as he had logged off. He knew he was being totally rude towards Shiro but he couldn't help it. Shiro was kind of being a jerk by subtly impling he wanted Keith and this Lotor guy to go on a date. Then again, he didn't know that Keith was already dating someone...

When Lance stood infront of Keith's door, he hesitated before entering. Maybe he was over reacting? But then Lance remembered that Keith seemed pretty out of character on the group chat. Lance swung open the door to stare at the small ball of a person shaking ontop of a queen sized bed. Lance rushed over in an instant and sat close to the poor boy.

"Hey Keith, i'm gonna touch you now okay?" Lance asked in as soft a voice that he could muster. Lance gently placed his hand on Keith's side. In an instant Keith had practically attacked Lance by pushing him down on the bed whilest he wrapped his arms around his neck and stuck his face into the same place. Keith had moved so fast and with so much force that he was surprised they didn't fall off the bed.

"Please keep talking," Keith asked in a quiet, muffled voice.

"Uh, okay. Ummm," For once in his life, Lance McClain was stumped on what to say. "If you want I can sing to you? That what my Mamá did every time I was sad,"

He felt shift his head up and down. What's that wetness- oh. He's crying. Lance wasn't going to ask why Keith was crying. Keith would tell him if he wanted to.

"Like a small boat, on the ocean," Lance started as softly as he could. He knew he probably wasn't the best singer so he started to mess around with Keith's hair, hoping the action both comforted him and distracted him a little bit. "Sending big waves, into motion. Like how a single word, can make a heart open. I might only have one match-"

"But I can make an explosion." Keith mumbled. Lance let out a small laugh knowing that Keith felt okay enough to sing. He continued the song and continued to mess with his hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lance lay with his back against the headboard and Keith lay with his back on his chest. The position was perfect because 1) Lance could rest his head of that soft mop of hair that he loves so much and 2) he could comfortably hold Keith against him and watch TV at the same time.

"I'm gussing you don't really wanna talk about it?" Lance asked out of the blue. It had been about an hour since Keith had said he was okay but Lance was still worried about him. He noticed Keith tense up slightly and he looked like he was about to say something before Lance stopped him.

"You don't have to if you don't want to. But I just want you to know that i'm always here if you need to talk," Lance took Keith's hand and ran over his knuckles with his thumb repeatedly, hopefully a comforting gesture. He heard Keith sigh slightly.

"Sometimes I- Sometimes I just get these random ass panic attacks out of no where and I never know how to deal with them. I don't even know what triggers them and I never seem to be able to calm down!" Keith sounded angry at himself. "But... Recently your voice kinda helps me through that kinda shit, y'know? Like, just listening to you talk is like the equivilent to watching clouds pass by against the brightest blue sky," Keith said dreamily.

The comparison made Lance give a little snort, but it got him wondering.

"What does the colour blue mean to you?"

"What?" Keith asked.

"Well it's just like, you say my voice is blue so i'm just kinda wondering... What does that mean to you?"

Keith hummed in thought. "Well, I guess blue is calming? I mean I know I basically just said that but- ugh. Blue makes me feel... Safe. Like the kind of feeling you get when you're being held in someone else's arms and you just know that everything's going to be okay,"

At that description, Lance fucking melted. Is that how he made Keith feel? That was too fucking adorable.

"But then again, everyone else thinks of colours differently. Like, you must have a different description for blue, right?" Oh yeah, Keith didn't know Lance was colourblind.

"Uh, not really,"

"So you think of it the same?"

"Um, no. I don't really have a description for it," Lance tried to laugh off.

"Why not?" Keith asked curiously.

"Keith, i'm colourblind," Lance admitted.

"Oh," Keith looked sheepish. He then leaped out of Lance's hold and turned to face him.

"Why didn't you tell me when I took you to the sunset!?"


 

[Operation: Klance]

NewRichKid: Can somebody tell Keith he's overreacting?

PidgeonLord: Keith you're overreacting

NewRichKid: Thank you.

SoftEmo: You don't UNDERSTAND PIDGE

SoftEmo: I TOOK HIM TO SEE A SUNSET ON OUR FIRST DATE AND I ONLY NOW FIND OUT HE'S COLOURBLIND?!

NewRichKid: Keith it's not a big deal

SoftEmo: IT'S A BIG DEAL TO ME! YOU DIDN'T GET TO ENJOY ONE OF LIFE'S GREATEST BEAUTYS!

NewRichKid: But Keith... You're one of life's greatest beautys

SoftEmo: I.....

Cakee: I think you brokee him


 

[The Adults]

Takashit: Can you believe him?

Cakee: ???

Takashit: I take him into my home for nothing in return and I get a 'shut your face'???

Takashit: Like how rude do you have to be to even think of saying that?

Cakee: I think I actually need to quote Lance here. Shut your face.

Takashit: ???

Takashit: No more double es?

Cakee: Not when i'm being serious.

Cakee: He was obviously sticking up for Keith.

Takashit: How in hell was he 'sticking up for Keith'?

Cakee: Keith was uncomfortable but he didn't want to say it.

Takashit: Why would he be uncomfortable?

Cakee: Did you not notice it? When was the last time Keith typed out 'Haha'?

Cakee: I also don't think Keith appreciated it when you were obviously trying to hook him up with this Lotor guy.

Cakee: Sometimes Shiro, i think you need to pay attention to the most obvious things in life and stop pretending that life is perfect.


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

Cakee: *Drum roll*

[Cakee has added NigelThornberry to WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

NigelThornberry: Oh?

Cakee: Eeveerybody, I'd likee you to meeeet Coran!

PidgeonLord: Yo

MemeHolt: 'Sup?

MarShayllows: Hi!!!

TheWholeSomeone: Hello!!!!

NewRichKid: Hey yo

Takashit: Nice to meet you

SoftEmo: Hey.

NigelThornberry: Hello Allura's friends! It's a pleasure to know you exist

Cakee: Heey!

SoftEmo: Who is this guy?

NigelThorberry: My name's Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe and I'm Allura's uncle!

NewRichKid: You invited your uncle to the groupchat?

Cakee: He gives me a 10% discount at Lush I had to

NewRichKid: Hey there Coran! My name's Lance and it is a delight to meet you!

 

Chapter Text

[Takashit MemeHolt]

Takashit: Why are you marrying me?

MemeHolt: Bc I love you???

Takashit: Why?

MemeHolt: Let's see, after years of dating you still get flustered when I hold your hand, the way you smile, the way your eyes light up when you smile, that fact that you could probably rip me in half and i'd thank you. Shiro i fucking love everything about you.

MemeHolt: And you love me, right?

Takashit: Of course I do! It's just recently I've been acting like a bigass jerk and i feel like you deserve better.

MemeHolt: Look me in the metaphoracal eye

MemeHolt: I. Love. You

MemeHolt: And unless you cheat on me or die nothing will stop this wedding.

Takashit: ....Not even if i've been the biggest ass face in the world to my brother?

MemeHolt: Is this about earlier?

MemeHolt: Kashi, it's okay. Not everybody picks up on those things easily.

Takashit: Did you?

MemeHolt: This isnt about me Kashi.

MemeHolt: But I do think you should at least apologise.

Takashit: I know...

Takashit: I really shouldn't have pushed like that

MemeHolt: You really shouldn't of.

MemeHolt: You should hope that Keith forgives you.

Takashit: ...


 

[TakashitSoftEmo]

Takashit: Keith, i'm really sorry about earlier and I know that sorry won't cut it but just know that I do feel like the worlds biggest asswipe. I really shouldn't have kept pushing about the Lotor thing and I just, ugh. I understand if you don't forgive me and I honestly dont deserve your forgiveness. Can you at least send me a message so I know you're okay? Just please...

SoftEmo: Keith's sleeping. This is Lance.

Takashit: Is he okay?

SoftEmo: Yeah, he's doing okay. Just a bit out of it I guess.

Takashit: Out of it?

SoftEmo: He had a panic attack earlier. Pretty bad one from the looks of it.

Takashit: Oh my god... Was he...

SoftEmo: Having it when the Lotor thing was happening? Yeah, i think so.

Takashit: I'm guessing that's why you told me to shut my face?

SoftEmo: I guess that's part of the reason.

SoftEmo: I thought as Keith's brother you'd be able to pick up on stuff like that better than anyone?

Takashit: He never really likes to talk to me about that kinda stuff. He only really ever opened up to Pidge about that kinda thing

SoftEmo: Yeah... And listen, from one big brother to another. I know you wanna protect Keith and be there to support him... But sometimes it better to let them do stuff their own way. If Keith wants to talk to you about this then he will... But maybe he's not telling you things for a reason? I can't speak for Keith since hes technically not here right now but if he wants to open up to you, he will. He probably just needs time

Takashit: ...Thanks Lance.

SoftEmo: np dude. Also, da fuq is this Lotor guy?

Takashit: Just some guy from my work who I thought Keith would like. They have alot of stuff in common so I thought they'd hit it off. I talk to him alot about Keith and he seems pretty intrested.

SoftEmo: Right.


 

[NewRichKid > PidgeonLord]

NewRichKid: Hey can you track down some guy from Shiro's work named Lotor? No questions asked.

PidgeonLord: His username is WalkingL'orealCommercial and he lives at 45 Empire St.

NewRichKid: How did you do that so fast?

PidgeonLord: No questions asked.

NewRichKid: Right sorry


 

[NewRichKidWalkingL'orealCommercial]

NewRichKid: Hi, is this Lotor?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Who is this?

NewRichKid: My name's not important. I'm a friend of Shiro's.

NewRichKid: I heard that you're interested in his brother Keith?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Where did you get this informantion?

NewRichKid: Shiro himself.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Well then, I can't deny it. I am intrested in persuing Keith.

NewRichKid: Well tough luck because Keith isn't intrested in you.

NewRichKid: Infact he already had a boyfriend.

NewRichKid: Me, i'm his boyfriend.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Well I must say, congratulations. I wish you two the best.

NewRichKid: Wait so... You aren't gonna be a dick about and be like, 'Well not for long he is' and then I have to prove to you that he loves me over everyone else and all that shit?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: No. I get it, he isn't intrested and he's already commited to someone else.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: I'm not gonna be a dick about it

NewRichKid: Oh....

NewRichKid: This is... Not what I was expecting.

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Shall we start over? I'll go first

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Greetings, my name is Lotor. It's a pleasure to talk to you.

NewRichKid: I'm Lance, I'd say the same but it really isn't talking now, is it?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: I guess. Anyways, I have to get back to work now..

NewRichKid: You work at night?

WalkingL'orealCommercial: Nah just gotta finish off this project before the boss bites my ass about it.

NewRichKid: Oh rip


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

NigelThornberry: May I have a rollcall so I know everyone's names?

Cakee: I suree as heell hopee you reemeembeer my namee.

NewRichKid: Lance (⌐■_■)

PidgeonLord: Pidge. Yes that's my legal name

TheWholeSomeone: Hunk. And yes that's also my legal name

MarShayllows: I'm Shay! (✿ヘᴥヘ) And Hunk is my boyfriend <3

TheWholeSomeone: <3

NigelThornberry: Aw, that's cute!

Takashit: I'm Shiro. The person who's place Allura crashes at.

Cakee: :D

MemeHolt: I'm Matt, Shiro's fiancé and Pidge's big bro!

PidgeonLord: Ew.

NigelThornberry: Well it's delightful to meet you all!

PidgeonLord: Wait there's one more person

NigelThornberry: Oh?

MarShayllows: Yeah... Where's Keith?

NewRichKid: He's sleeping.

Cakee: Weell wakee him up! Hee's gotta officially meeeet Coran!

NewRichKid: He's sleeping.

NewRichKid: Él está durmiendo

NewRichKid: Il est endormi

NewRichKid: Lui è addormentato

NewRichKid: 그는 잠 들어있다.

MemeHolt: Okay, chill, we get it.

MemeHolt: No need to be so protective of your boyfriend

Cakee: !!!

NigelThornberry: Ah, I remember being like that when I was young and in love, i did everything to make sure my lover got their way...

MarShayllows: Yeah but Lance is just joking. He and Keith aren't going out they're just pretty close.

NigelThornberry: Really? What a shame.

PidgeonLord: I like this guy.


[Operation: Klance]

NewRichKid: [Video attached]

NewRichKid: What on earth did I do to deserve this angel?!?!!?!?!

PidgeonLord: Keith is no angel I can guarentee that

NewRichKid: Hush.

MarShayllows: Keith's place of residence: Crook of Lance's neck

NewRichKid: Ahhhhhh!!!!! He's too cute!!!!

NewRichKid: .....He just sneezed on me.

NewRichKid: I want a divorce.

NewRichKid: Shit he's waking up

SoftEmo: Lance is dead now.

TheWholeSomeone: I'll collect his remains tomorrow

NewRichKid: Hey!

SoftEmo: Stick a camera in my unconscious face again and I'll tear out your spine.

NewRichKid: See, you say that one here but IRL you're still snuggled up by my side.

MemeHolt: Exposed.

NewRichKid: Nvm he just kicked me out and now I have to go back to my room

MarShayllows: The wrath of a sleepy boyfriend

NewRichKid: ╥﹏╥

 

 

Chapter Text

[NewRichKid SoftEmo]

NewRichKid: Keeeeeiiiiiiitttthhhhhh

NewRichKid: Do you know what tomorrow is???

SoftEmo: The day we finally get to repent for all our sins

NewRichKid: Guess again!

SoftEmo: Wednesday

NewRichKid: No silly! It's Valentine's day! ♡^▽^♡

SoftEmo: Oh...

NewRichKid: Are you not excited? ( ◢д◣)

SoftEmo: No! I am!

SoftEmo: I've just never had a Valentine's date before...

NewRichKid: (ʘ言ʘ╬)

NewRichKid: Keith Akira Kogane, I swear to God I will make this the best Valentine's day you've ever seen. (。+・`ω・´)

SoftEmo: Where are you finding all these faces???

NewRichKid: ʅ(´◔౪◔)ʃ

SoftEmo: Oh my God I hate you

NewRichKid: No you don't~ (๑→ܫ←)

SoftEmo: ....

SoftEmo:  (⺣◡⺣)♡*


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

Cakee: Why is Lancee screeaming?

MarShayllows: When isn't Lance screaming?

TheWholeSomeone: She's got a point

Cakee: Okay but seeriously Teessa was alseeeep on my lap until Lancee starteed screeaming and wokee heer up

Cakee: Is it's not beecausee hee's beeing murdeered theen soon it will bee

PidgeonLord: Guys, look at a fucking calender

MemeHolt: ?

Cakee: Ohhhhhhhhhhh

[Cakee has changed their username to Cupid]

[PidgeonLord has changed Cupid's username to Aphrodite]

PidgeonLord: Cupid was a dick

Aphrodite: Fair.

TheWholeSomeone: Does this mean no more double e's?

Aphrodite: I guess

MarShayllows: YES

MemeHolt: Kashi, what are we doing for Valentine's day??

Takashit: Matt, imma be honest, I literally only just found out that Vday is tomorrow

MemeHolt: Σ(T□T)

Takashit: If you want i'll take a vacation day and we'll just sit around and get some things finalized for the wedding?

MemeHolt: That... Does sound nice. I've barely got to spend enough time with you

TheWholeSomeone: Speaking of weddings, Shay bby can you help me design this cake?? My Tina wants some 'blueprints' before I actually start making it

MarShayllows: Of course! As long as you don't go all Gordon Ramsay on me. Remember, i'm a non-professional pregnant woman.

PidgeonLord: You really need a comma in there

Aphrodite: Hunk??? What's your Tina's name?

TheWholeSomeone: My Tina? She's called Masina. Unless you're talking about my Mamá Rona (Which is shortened down for reasons)

Aphrodite: ......Shatt, Hunk's making your cake.

MemeHolt: Fuck yeah

TheWholeSomeone: Wait so if this is Matt's cake i'm guessing I should put sh*tposts on it

PidgeonLord: Oh my god you still censor yourself how fucking pure

Takashit: Please do not out shitposts on our wedding cake


 

[A gay, a bi and an ace walk into a bar]

SoftEmo: We need you to cover for us tomorrow

PidgeonLord: ????

NewRichKid: Keith and I are going on a date but like, we still don't want Shiro to know

SoftEmo: So imma give you $200 if you say we hung out with you all day

PidgeonLord: Hmm, I don't know... Maybe you guys should just tell Shiro and get this shit over with and just be happy??

SoftEmo: $500

PidgeonLord: Deal.

NewRichKid: So Pidge, what's it like living with the Heteros?

PidgeonLord: We need to give Shay marshmellows every 4 hours and if we don't she starts playing Hamilton, Act II. ACT II LANCE

SoftEmo: I'd be laughing if only that wasn't me...

PidgeonLord: Anyway, you're avoiding the topic. Where are you guys going on your date?

NewRichKid: Keith won't tell me and he's being mean ;-;

SoftEmo: Lance it's called a SURPRISE. Have you ever heard of one?

NewRichKid: Yeah.... But last time you said there was a surprise we ended up watching Camp Camp

NewRichKid: And lemme tell ya kids that young should not be swearing

PidgeonLord: I LOVE CAMP CAMP

SoftEmo: OOOOOOOOOOOOH THERE'S A PLACE I KNOW THAT'S TUCKED AWAY

PidgeonLord: A PLACE WHERE YOU AND I CAN STAY

NewRichKid: Ughhhhhhhhhh Lord have mercy


 

[TakashitSoftEmo]

Takashit: Keith, i'm really, really sorry about yesterday. I know I shoud've noticed that you were uncomfortable and I seriously shouldn't have tried to set you up with Lotor and I know that I don't deserve your forgiveness but please, at least talk to me?

SoftEmo: Why the fuck would I want to talk to you?

SoftEmo: Seriously it's like you're a dog and you bite any guy who I so much as look at but then suddenly you try and set me up with one of your co-workers?

SoftEmo: What the fuck Takashi?

Takashit: Keith please i'm really sorry.

SoftEmo: Just because you're sorry now, doesn't mean you were sorry then.

SoftEmo: Seriously what the fuck was with that change of attitude????

Takashit: ....

SoftEmo: You don't even have a reason? What kind of dick are you?

Takashit: I didn't want you going out with Lance.

SoftEmo: I'm sorry???

SoftEmo: THE FUCK!?!?!?

Takashit: Guys like Lance aren't dating material Keith.. Yet they're all that you seem to be attracted to! Seriously all i'm doing is trying to protect you from heartbreak and you're just ignoring me!

SoftEmo: Isn't that what mom said about matt?

Takashit: Don't bring mom into this.

SoftEmo: Isn't that what mom said the day before you and Matt went on your first date?

SoftEmo: Isn't that what mom said the day before you found the love of your life that in 3 months you'll both be standing on the altar saying 'I do' to eachother?

Takashit: Matt isn't Lance.

SoftEmo: And i'm not you.

[SoftEmo has gone offline]


 

[MemeHoltAphrodite]

MemeHolt: Shiro looks sad what do I do?

Aphrodite: idk man you're his fiancé

MemeHolt: Hnnnng i'm not good with negitive emotions......

Aphrodite: Just like, hug him or smth? 

MemeHolt: ???

Aphrodite: I'M NOT GOOD WITH EMOTIONS MATT

Aphrodite: I HAVEN'T DATED ANYONE IN YEARS GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK

MemeHolt: BUT YOU'RE MEANT TO BE APHRODITE

Aphrodite: JUST BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A GODDESS DOESN'T MEAN I ACTUALLY AM ONE!!!!!

Chapter Text

[NewRichKid SoftEmo]

NewRichKid: Happy Valentine's day assface <3

SoftEmo: Happy Valentine's day fucknugget <3

NewRichKid: Can you atleast tell me one thing about where we're going?

SoftEmo: Nope!

NewRichKid: ;-;

SoftEmo: I promise you, you're gonna love it. You're also gonna love the gift I got you

NewRichKid: Keeeeeeeiiiiiiiiittttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

NewRichKid: I thought we agreed on no gifts ;-;

SoftEmo: Too late, can't return them.

NewRichKid: ;-; now I feel bad

SoftEmo: Lance, I would spend every penny in the world on you for literally nothing in return.

NewRichKid: .... How about kisses in return?

SoftEmo: ....Sounds like a good trade deal.

NewRichKid: (≧∀≦)

SoftEmo: Also we should turn our phones off. I don't want Pidge tracking us again

NewRichKid: Fair. You ready to go?

SoftEmo: Hell yeah.


[PidgeonLord > Takashit]

PidgeonLord: What the fresh hell Shiro??

PidgeonLord: Are you okay??? Like mentally???

PidgeonLord: BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU IF YOU KEEP DOING SHIT LIKE THIS

Takashit: Pidge... Please

PidgeonLord: NUH UH SHIRO YOU DON'T GET TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF

PidgeonLord: LANCE ISN'T DATING MATERIAL!?!?!? HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHO'S DATING MATERIAL!?!? YOU'VE ONLY DATED ONE GUY IN YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE

PidgeonLord: AND YOU TRIED TO SET KEITH UP WITH A GUY WHO'S LIKE, WHAT?? 7 YEARS OLDER THAN HIM??? WHAT THE FUCK SHIRO!??!?

PidgeonLord: YOU'D RATHER KEITH DATE A STRANGER WHO'S WAY TOO OLD FOR HIM THAN HIM DATE A GUY WHO HE'S FRIENDS WITH AND ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT!?!?!?!??!!??!

PidgeonLord: YOU'RE A REAL ASSHOLE YOU KNOW SHIRO. ONCE KEITH AND LANCE ARE BACK ONLINE I'M GONNA TELL EVERYONE ALL THE SHITTY THINGS YOU'VE DONE BECAUSE YOU DON'T DESERVE A SECOND CHANCE SHIRO THIS IS IT.

PidgeonLord: ALL LANCE HAS EVER DONE IS LOVE KEITH FOR BEING KEITH AND YOU KEEP TRYING TO KICK HIM DOWN LIKE HE'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH

PidgeonLord: WELL I'VE GOT SOME NEWS FOR YA SHIRO. KEITH AND LANCE ARE ALREADY DATING AND EVERYBODY ELSE KNOWS IT! AND GEE GOLLY I WONDER WHY THEY DIDN'T TELL YOU?!

PidgeonLord: I hope Matt cancels the fucking wedding once he finds out.

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]

Takashit: I will make this right.... I swear.

[Takashit has gone offline]



"Wait so, you're telling me you contacted this Lotor guy, took off at him and it didn't end in you going to fight him?" Keith asked, a laugh in his voice.


"He's not actually a bad guy! He's just not the kinda guy you'd want to date," Lance said huffing and crossing his arms, remembering the conversations with Shiro.


"Oh yeah?" Keith asked. He rested his head on his hand and narrowed his eyes. Fuuuuck he looked hot. "What do you know about guys I'd want to date?"


"Well, I think you'd like to date a guy who can make you laugh, a guy that makes you smile," They both started to lean in closer. "A guy who's strong, a guy that can literally sweep you off your feet," Keith laughed at that, but still kept edging closer. "A guy who's kind, one that'll drop everything to help someone," Oh so close. Literally inches apart. Lance could even feel Keith's breath on his lips. "A guy who likes to kiss you,"


When Lance leaned in to close the gap between them, Keith wasn't there. Lance opened his eyes only to see Keith eating some garlic bread. Lance then looked down at his plate to see that it was his garlic bread. "You little shit,"


At that, Keith laughed melodically. Well, it was more of a snorting kind of sound but any noise Keith made sounded like music to Lance

.
"All's fair in love and war, sweetheart," Keith said before taking another bite of garlic bread. He then looked at the clock on the wall before his eyes widened comically. "We gotta go," He said before placing a wad of cash on the table and dragging Lance out his seat.


"K-Keith!"


"Trust me, you're gonna love this,"


 

[The Adults]


Takashit: I need you guys to help me with something


MemeHolt: I thought we were gonna make wedding plans today?


Takashit: We are I just need to get this done first


Aphrodite: Well whatever it is I'm not helping


Takashit: Allura, please.


Aphrodite: After all the shit you tried to pull? Nope! This bitch may be a freeloader but she has at least some standards


Takashit: This is about my apology to Keith and Lance


Aphrodite: I'm listening.


Takashit: Pidge was taking off at me earlier (in a way i deserved) and they told me that Keith and Lance are already dating and... I wanna support them.


MemeHolt: ...........


Aphrodite:............ Well I wasn't expecting this


Takashit: I'm at the florists right now. I need you guys to make the house look as good as you can


Aphrodite: Uhh okay but what exactly are we doing?


Takashit: Hitting them with all the love and support we can muster


 

"I'm pretty sure riding on a motorbike with your eyes closed is dangerous!"

"No, you're thinking of driving one. Anyway you can let go now, we're here," Keith said as he forcibly removed Lance's hands from his waist.

"Does this mean I can open my eyes now?"

"Not yet," Keith said as he guided Lance off the motorbike. He then took Lance by the shoulders and led him to where he needed him to be. Lance almost instantly felt the cold air hit his skin and he heard the crashing of the waves below on the sand of the beach.

"Keith, I know we're at the cliff. Can I open my eyes now?" Lance whined and stopped his foot, like a toddler.

"Just another second," Keith giggled slightly. Lance felt Keith put something on his face. The something felt a bit like plastic that wrapped around the top part of his nose and around the tops of his ears. He then realised they were glasses. Why would Keith get him glasses? He didn't need glasses. Keith then slid his hand into Lance's. "Okay, you can open them,"

When Lance did open his eyes, he felt like crying. Is this... Is this what normal people saw? These bright (oh so bright) colours and shades? Different hues of a single shade that all melded together to create one of the most perfect scenes. Lance let his eyes drop to the ocean, the thing he had heard be called a 'blue beauty' so many times in his life. Only now he understood what people meant when they said that. The dark blue waves crashed against the pale sand and darkened the colour of the grey rocks around it. Lance was crying. He was surprised he wasn't sobbing.

"Keith, this is-" Lance turned to look at Keith only to be stunned at seeing him the way everybody else saw him. The beautiful pale skin that contrasted magnificently against his dark black hair. And his eyes. Lance didn't know what colour they were. The only way he could describe them was beautiful.
Lance cupped Keith's face with his hands and smashed his lips against his. It was the only way he could show how fucking greatful he was for Keith. He could taste his own tears but he didn't care. He couldn't give less of a shit.

Lance slowly pulled away to look at the gorgeous boy infront of him, the boy who made him laugh, smile. The boy who he oh so dearly tresured.

"Keith, I love you," It was the first time either of them had said it. And it felt too right

"I love you too, Lance,"


 

[The Adults]

Aphrodite: MATTHEW HOLT WHAT THE SHIT DID YOU DO TO KEITH AND LANCE'S BEDROOMS!?

MemeHolt: I could ask the same THING ABOUT THE BATHROOM ALLURA

Aphrodite: It's called a 'romantic bubble bath' any way back to the bedrooms

MemeHolt: It's Vday they obvs gonna fuck

Takashit: Guys, I understand that i'm not there but please don't make the housr a trainwreck

MemeHolt: ...........

MemeHolt: Define 'trainwreck'

Takashit: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh


 

"This colour totally matches your eyes!" Lance exclaimed, holding up a picture of a shade of purple to Keith's face.

"Purple eyes don't exist Lance, my eyes are dark blue," Keith chuckled.

"Are you sure? It seems like a match to me," Lance pouted, staring at his phone.

Keith laughed slightly as he opened up the door to something Lance did not fucking expect. If he had to describe it in one phrase it would probably be 'romantic ass wonderland'. The lights had been dimmed and tinted red. There were roses bouquets hanging from the walls and rose petals all along the floor and leading up the staircase. And in the center of it all was a small oak table with a bouquet of blue and red roses along with a note.

"Did... You plan this?" Lance asked. He looked at Keith who was in awe of everything infront of him. He slowly shook his head as he walked over to the table and picekd up the note.

"It's... It's from Shiro," Keith said as he started to read. Lance read over his shoulder.

"Dear Keith and Lance,

I haven't been the greatest brother recently, hell I haven't been the greatest person recently. I pushed you guys around and ending up most likely hurting you in the process. I know I don't deserve forgiveness, but this is my apology.

Keith, you're the only family I have left in this world. From the day you came into my world I was so excited to watch you grow up and become the strong person you are now. But the thing is, when you did start to grow up I got scared that one day you'd realise that you didn't need me around as your big brother. And so I became controlling and ended up pushing everyone away from you. But I also ended up pushing you away from me. Keith, you're the greatest brother I could've ever asked for and more. And I want you to take me leaving you and Lance the house for tonight as some symbol reference as to how i'm letting you be your own person for now on or something. You know I was never really good at metaphors.

Lance, you make Keith happy, and that's all could ever ask of you.

I'm sorry for everything I did and might possibly do in the future. Even though it came from the right place, it wasn't the right thing. I want you two to know that I support you and can only hope you make eachother as happy as Matt makes me happy.

-Takashi Shirogane-Holt"

"P.S Allura here! Your baths getting cold boys ;)"


[PidgeonLord > SoftEmo]

PidgeonLord: Keith! Thank god you're back online. Listen, there's something I need to tell you about Shiro

SoftEmo: I already know Pidge.

PidgeonLord: You do?

SoftEmo: Yeah.... I mean look at this!

SoftEmo: [x15 Images attached]

SoftEmo: Isn't this amazing?!

SoftEmo: Shiro did it ALL (with Matt and Allura's help of course) just for me and Lance??? It's the fucking best!

PidgeonLord: ...

PidgeonLord: Yup, Shiro's a great guy.


 

[PidgeonLord > Takashit]

PidgeonLord: I must say, i'm kinda proud of you.

PidgeonLord: Sucking up your gut like that.

PidgeonLord: But that doesn't mean i'm gonna stop holding this shit over your head Shirogane

Takashit: I mean, that's fair.

Takashit: I'm guessing Keith showed you what I did?

PidgeonLord: The note and everything.

PidgeonLord: .... I'm sorry for saying I wanted Matt to call off the wedding.

Takashit: Pidge, everybody has every single right to be mad at me. So i'm not gonna blame you for saying that.

PidgeonLord: Okay... Btw where are you guys? The note said you left the house to Keith and Lance?

Takashit: Some hotel we found. Sadly they only had a 1 bedded room left so Allura took it and forced me and Matt to share the couch

PidgeonLord: LOL

 

Chapter Text

[NewRichKidSoftEmo]

NewRichKid: I love you

NewRichKid: I loooooooooooooove you

NewRichKid: I loooooooovvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeee yooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu

SoftEmo: Lance I love you too but if you keep texting me imma have to cut off your fingers

NewRichKid: But babe, you love my beautiful fingers

NewRichKid: And there's so much more they can do~

SoftEmo: ?

NewRichKid: Y'know like..... Fun stuff

SoftEmo: Like....

SoftEmo: ....Mario Kart?

NewRichKid: ......


 [NewRichKidPidgeonLord]

NewRichKid: Help my boyfriend is too precious

PidgeonLord: Ummm, Keith is not precious.

NewRichKid: [Image attached]

PidgeonLord: Keith oh you poor sweet innocent child

NewRichKid: I know

NewRichKid: And what do you mean he isn't precious!? He is an adorable cinnamon roll whom I love with all of my heart

PidgeonLord: Dude, I've known him for about fourteen years, I've seen him go through puberty and all that shiz.

PidgeonLord: Sorry to break it to you but Keith isn't what you think he is

NewRichKid: Then explain these!

NewRichKid: [X15 images attached]

PidgeonLord: How about u see dis

PidgeonLord: [X6 images attached]

NewRichKid: Is that.... Is that Keith in his emo phase?

PidgeonLord: Phase?

NewRichKid: I mean... Ultra emo phase like.....

NewRichKid: OH MY GOD HE PUT HIGHLIGHTS IN HIS HAIR

PidgeonLord: You cannot let him know I still have these images because I still hold them as blackmail just like the mircowave incident

NewRichKid: The mircowave incident?

PidgeonLord: I SAID NOTHING

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

TheWholeSomeone: AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK

NewRichKid: A-AFTER THE WAR I WENT BACK TO NEW YORK

TheWholeSomeone: I FINISHED UP MY STUDIES AND I PRATICED LAW

NewRichKid: I practiced Law Burr worked next door (≖ᴗ≖✿)

PidgeonLord: What is happening

MarShayllows: I let Hunk listen to Non-stop

TheWholeSomeone: Even though we started at the very same time, Alexander Hamilton began to climb. How to account for his rise to the top?

TheWholeSomeone: Maaaan, the man is NON-STOP

NewRichKid: Gentlemen of the Jury bear with me, are you aware that we're making history? This is the first murder trial of our brand new nation the liberty behind deliberation. 

NewRichKid: I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt with my assistant coucil-

TheWholeSomeone: Co-council. Hamilton, sit down. Our client Levi Weeks is innocent, call your first witness

TheWholeSomeone: That's all you had to say

NewRichKid: Okay.

NewRichKid: OnE mOrE tHiNg!

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room?

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you assume you're the smartest in the room? Soon that attitude may be your doom.

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you write like you're running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Every day you fight like you’re running out of time
Keep on fighting. In the meantime.

PidgeonLord: (NON-STOP)

NewRichKid: Blah blah i'm not typing that shit out.

TheWholeSomeone: HAMILTON AT THE CONSITUTIONAL CONVENTION

NewRichKid: I was chosen for the Consitutional Convention (◕ᴥ◕)

TheWholeSomeone: There as a New York junior delegate

NewRichKid: Now what i'm 'bout to say may sound indelicate ( ̄︶ ̄;)

TheWholeSomeone: He goes and proposes his own form of government!

PidgeonLord: (What?)

TheWholeSomeone: His own plan for a new form of government!

PidgeonLord: (wHAT?)

TheWholeSomeone: He talks for six hours! The convention is listless!

NigelThornberry: Bright young man!

SoftEmo: Yo, who the f is this?

NigelThornberry: ?

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you always say you believe? Why do you always say what you believe? Every proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemies!

TheWholeSomeone: Why do you write like it’s going out of style? Write day and night like it’s going out of style? Every day you fight like it’s going out of style. Do what you do

NewRichKid: Consitution blah blah need you blah blah independence and shit

TheWholeSomeone: Something about plans and his chest and some kind of afterbirth and tension

Aphrodite: (Great spirit guys!) I am sailing off to London, i'm accompanied by someone who always pays ⚈ ̫ ⚈

Aphrodite: I have found a wealthy husband who will keep me in comfort for all my days! (I wish)

Aphrodite: He is not alot of fun, but there's no one who can match you for turn of phrase. My Alexander

NewRichKid: Angelica....

Aphrodite: Don't forget to write~

MarShayllows: Look at where you are! Look at where you started! The fact thar you're alive is a miracle! Just stay alive, that would be enough (bo_o)b

MarShayllows: And if your wife (Ew no) could share a fraction of your time, if I could grant you piece of mind... Would that be enough?

TheWholeSomeone: Hamilton joins forces with John Jay and James Madison to write afhejkhfgrshfbsrmbgrmjh

TheWholeSomeone: John Jay got sick after writing five, James Madison wrote twenty nine...

TheWholeSomeone: HAMILTON WROTE

TheWholeSomeone: THE OTHER FIFTY ONE

TheWholeSomeone: How do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time? Every day you fight like you’re running out of time like you’re running out of time. Are you running out of time?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!

PidgeonLord: (How do you write like tomorrow won’t arrive? How do you write like you need it to survive? How do you write every second you’re alive? Every second you’re alive? Every second you’re alive?)

Takashit: They are asking me to lead....

MemeHolt: :O

Takashit: I'm do the best I can, to get the people that I need...

MemeHolt: Look at my him go! :D

Takashit: I'm asking you to be my right hand man.

NewRichKid: Treasury or State?

Takashit: I know it's alot to ask....

NewRichKid: Treasury or State????????????

Takashit: To leave behind the world you know...

NewRichKid: Bitch you want me the run the treasury or state department?

Takashit: ........Treasury

NewRichKid: Lez go.

MarShayllows: Alexander.

NewRichKid: I have to leave

MarShayllows:  Alexander.

NewRichKid: Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now! (John's death totally made him think this)

SoftEmo: Ouch, my gay heart.

MarShayllows: Helpless....

NewRichKid: They are asking me to lead!

MarShayllows: Look around, isn't this enough!?

Aphrodite: He will never be satisfied

MarShayllows: What would be enough,

Aphrodite: He will never be satisfied, satisfied, satisfied…

MarShayllows: To be satisfied, satisfied, satisfied!

Takashit: History has it's eye's on you!

PidgeonLord: That shits way to complicated sooooo (Why do you fight like, HISTORY HAS IT'S EYES ON YOU!)

NewRichKid: I am not throwing away my, shot.

PidgeonLord: (Just you wait....)

NewRichKid: I am not throwing away my, shot.

PidgeonLord: (Just you wait....)

NewRichKid: I am ALEXANDER HAMILTON

PidgeonLord: (HAMILTON)

PidgeonLord: ( JUST YOU WAIT )

NewRichKid: I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT (Gunshot)

SoftEmo: *Applause*

NewRichKid: Keith! Why didn't you take Eliza?

PidgeonLord: Yeah, Shay took so long to type you could've easily taken that spot

MarShayllows: Hey!

SoftEmo: Because we all know that in actual fact I would be John Laurens and he died right before this song

TheWholeSomeone: ShhhhHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHH

TheWholeSomeone: If you listen to the soundtrack he doesn't

MemeHolt: Keith.... Get the video.

SoftEmo: The video???

MemeHolt: The video.

SoftEmo: Oh, that video.

SoftEmo: [Video attached]

NewRichKid: ....

TheWholeSomeone: ......

MarShayllows: .......

PidgeonLord: Why didn't I know about this???

Takashit: When did you guys.... Do this???

Aphrodite: Why did I cut my hair so short omg

SoftEmo: This was the day Matt came out as a Hamilfan and... well....

NigelThornberry: My, my! I must say the coreography is rather odd but your rapping is perfect. And Allura my dear, i didn't know you could beatbox?

MarShayllows: Keith.... Why the hell was this the first rap that came to mind

SoftEmo: Because I wanted to be Phillip but also not get the nurf guns out so Matt could shoot me

MarShayllows: .......Fair.

NewRichKid: Keith bby I love you so much why did you not tell me about this

Takashit: Wait a fricking second.... IS THIS WHAT YOU GUYS DID STRAIGHT AFTER THE MICROWAVE INCIDENT?!?!!?

[SoftEmo has gone offline]

[MemeHolt has gone offline]

[Aphrodite has gone offline]

NewRichKid: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE MICROWAVE INCIDENT!?!?!?!

Takashit: We don't talk about it.

NewRichKid: THEN WHY DO YOU KEEP MENTIONING IT???????????

Takashit: We mention it, we just don't talk about the events that occured. Just like the cupboard occurence.

MarShayllows: The Cupboard Occurence?

Takashit: Whoops, gotta blast

[Takashit has gone offline]

 

Chapter Text

[LetMattRest2k18]

SoftEmo: In Act one of Hamilton everyone who went to war had their hair tied up (Hamilton, Lafayette, etc.) and then in Act two they have their hair down bc there's no reason for them to have it up anymore since they're no longer at war. However in Act two Eliza had her hair up. Discuss.

MemeHolt: Its too early for this shit fukc you

Aphrodite: For once I agree with Matt.

NewRichKid: Babe.... pls get some sleep

SoftEmo: But... I have so many questions

SoftEmo: Such as the fact that Aaron Burr doesn't rap in the entire musical. Is that because rapping is some form of rebellion? Or just because Leslie Odom Jr just has the kind of voice that you don't wanna waste on rapping?

Takashit: I'm gonna smother you all if you don't shut the fuck up right now

SoftEmo: Y'all suck. And not in the good way.

Takashit: There's a good way?

MemeHolt: Honey.....

Takashit: Oh. OH

NewRichKid: I have a shift in two hours, Matt has to teach a class in four which Shiro has to drive him to and then get to his job so GET SOME GODDAMNED SLEEP YOU GUYS.

SoftEmo: ;-;


 

[SoftEmoAphrodite]

SoftEmo: Should we get jobs?

Aphrodite: I'm sorry what?

SoftEmo: I was just thinking. Neither of us have worked a day in our lives and eventually Shiro and Matt will ask us all to move out, my inheritence money will eventually run out so...

Aphrodite: Listen, if you wanna get a job that's chill but you ain't gonna be dragging me to work for anybody. This bitch is gonna be a freeloader till she's dead.

SoftEmo: No but like, I need your help for what I wanna do.

Aphrodite: ..........

SoftEmo: What if we opened up our own coffee shop?

Aphrodite: *Slams fists on desk* I'M IN.

SoftEmo: There's a small building for sale down the block which looks pretty easy to renovate

SoftEmo: Or at least, hire some people to renovate it.

SoftEmo: Also I lied when I said it was for sale since I already bought it

Aphrodite: Keith wtf? Why???

SoftEmo: Lance is 99% of my impulse control but he's at Walmart right now

Aphrodite: Speaking of Lance.... We don't tell him.

Aphrodite: We don't tell anybody.

SoftEmo: Um, why?

Aphrodite: Bc one day we'll invite everybody round to hang out and walk in with coffee from our shop like 'Sup bitches we own a business now'

SoftEmo: Sounds good.

SoftEmo: Also we should come up with shitty names for the drinks and stuff

SoftEmo: A black coffee is called a Void and a latte is the Milky One

Aphrodite: An espresso is called a Shot of Death

Aphrodite: A flat white is 50%

Aphrodite: I like this idea. I'm in.


 

[MarShayllowsTheWholeSomeone]

MarShayllows: Where are you??? I can't find you??

TheWholeSomeone: I'm already in the car. Came here to clear my head

MarShayllows: I guess you're freaking out to, huh?

TheWholeSomeone: Shay, we're gonna have a baby. An actual, human, real life kid to look after.

TheWholeSomeone: And we're about to see it and actually solidify the fact that... We're gonna be parents

MarShayllows: At least you don't have to push the kid out of your genitals

TheWholeSomeone: True but i'll let you kick me there

MarShayllows: Aw, babe <3

TheWholeSomeone: But are we seriously ready to be parents?

MarShayllows: No parents are ever ready to be parents.

MarShayllows: Just.... Give me the aux cord and we'll listen to a song that will describe it better

TheWholeSomeone: .......If it's Anybody have a Map i'm not driving you to the ultrasound

MarShayllows: DAMN IT


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

[MarShayllows has changed the groupchat name to Eating for three]

NigelThornberry: ???

Aphrodite: Uhhh?

SoftEmo: Wait.......

SoftEmo: SHAY ARE YOU HAVING TWINS???????

MarShayllows: YES!

SoftEmo: OH MY FUCK I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!

Aphrodite: ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!? OH MY GOD

NigelThornberry: Congratulations!

TheWholeSomeone: I just.... I don't know how to feel about this

MarShayllows: Be so glad that you don't have to deal with morning sickness, backpain, actually having to give birth....

TheWholeSomeone: Okay geez I get it

PidgeonLord: Yo what's this fuss about?

PidgeonLord: HOLY SHIT SHAY YOU'RE CARRYING TWO PEOPLE INSIDE YOU

PidgeonLord: So do you guys know if it was a split egg or two seperate eggs bc i'm hoping for split

TheWholeSomeone: Um, why?

PidgeonLord: Because identical twins have superpowers

MarShayllows: ...... No they don't

PidgeonLord: That's what the government wants you to think

SoftEmo: But what if that is what the government wants you to think? Question everything Pidge.

SoftEmo: Like are we human?

NewRichKid: SHAY IS CARRYING TWO SMALL HUMANS INSIDE HER AND I'M PROUD. YOU GO SHAY!

MarShayllows: Thanks! Now if you'll excuse me I have four hamburgers to eat in the span of an hour

[MarShayllows has gone offline]

TheWholeSomeone: If you think she's kidding

TheWholeSomeone: [Image attached]

NewRichKid: Ugh, same.

Takashit: Guys if you don't stop texting i'm gonna throw all your phones away

NewRichKid: Shiro scroll up.

~~~~~~~~~~~

TheWholeSomeone: [Image attached]

TheWholeSomeone: Shiro just showed up at our apartment and handed us this and before leaving all he said was 'You need this more than I do'

MarShayllows: $2 MILLION PER KID

 

Chapter Text

[SoftEmo Aphrodite]

SoftEmo: Are we gonna have a secret menu

Aphrodite: You bet your gay little ass we're having a secret menu

SoftEmo: Good because I think we should have a sugary monstorsity called Unicorn Blood.

Aphrodite: I get that it's sugary but..... What would it taste like?

SoftEmo: Red velvet

Aphrodite: As long as we can have a birthday cake flavoured frappe just labelled 'Birth' that's chill

SoftEmo: Done.

SoftEmo: We're also gonna do slushies BUT GET THIS

SoftEmo: Pride edition, all year round.

Aphrodite: So like... The colours of all the pride flags?

SoftEmo: Indeed.

Aphrodite: ......

Aphrodite: Why didn't we do this before???????

Aphrodite: "Hi i'd like a bi slushie and an ace slushie pls"

SoftEmo: Think of all the flavour combinations....

Aphrodite: Yo do we actually have a name for this place???

SoftEmo: Umm....

SoftEmo: How about Seascape cafe?

Aphrodite: Seascape? Why???

SoftEmo: Seascape cafe is an anagram of 'Safe space acee' because this place will be judgement free. The acee part is just the spare letters

Aphrodite: Aww Keith that's so sweet.

Aphrodite: Why aren't you this sweet all the time?

SoftEmo: I'm like a lemon, bitter af but as soon as someone gets me a bit of sugar i'm as sweet as lemonade

Aphrodite: 'Sugar' being.... ????

SoftEmo: Matt bought taster cakes so he could pick a flavour for his wedding cake and i took about half of each of the samples

Aphrodite: Oh.

Aphrodite: THAT DICK WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME


 

[LetMattRest2k18]

MemeHolt: Fuck you Allura.

Aphrodite: 1) Uh no thanks, i don't like dick and 2) You're engaged

MemeHolt: I hate you.

Aphrodite: Listen if this is about the cake samples then let me tell you this...

Aphrodite: I needed them

MemeHolt: Why the fuck would you need them?!?!!?!?!?

Aphrodite: R E A S O N S

SoftEmo: I thought you knew it's just better to not question Allura at this point. She kinda does what she wants when she wants

NewRichKid: Like breaks into our bathroom and steals my moisturiser? 

Aphrodite: That was your moisturiser?

NewRichKid: No, it's Greasehead Mcgee's here

SoftEmo: Hey!

Aphrodite: Well if you want it back you can go ahead and peel off my skin!

NewRichKid: Hey, hey, Allura

NewRichKid: ༼✿◕ᗜ◕༽┌∩┐

Aphrodite: Awwww

Aphrodite: ╭∩╮(-‿-)╭∩╮


 

[SoftEmo has added Aphrodite and MarShayllows to Project Seascape]

MarShayllows: Ummm? 

Aphrodite: You can cook and shit right? And make weird flavours of coffee and stuff?

MarShayllows: Um yeah? I could try the coffee thing if I put my mind to it.

SoftEmo: Good, we need you to work for us

MarShayllows: You guys own a business?

Aphrodite: Not yet, but we're trying to open up our own coffee shop called Seascape cafe. Hence the 'Project'

MarShayllows: Oh, yeah I can work for you guys once i'm not pregnant

SoftEmo: Great! But like, the main thing we need is to know how to make flavoured coffee and how to make our own unique flavours and shit

MarShayllows: Oh... Nice. Yeah I can do that. Can I have a list of coffee flavours so I can figure out how to make them

SoftEmo: Um, we'll have a list by tomorrow and you can always come up with your own ideas! Be creative!

MarShayllows: You guys do know that means you'll have marshmellow coffee, right?

Aphrodite: We know and we love it. Pls find a way to make it happen

MarShayllows: Will do! (^^)b

SoftEmo: And don't tell anyone about the business.

MarShayllows: What?! Why?

SoftEmo: Bc we gonna invite everybody round to our place and we'll show up with Pride slushies (an idea we'll talk about later) and be like 'Oh yeah we own shit now'

MarShayllows: Pride slushies? As in pride flag slushies?

Aphrodite: Keith's idea

MarShayllows: What flavour is the pan slushie?

SoftEmo: Lemon, strawberry and blueberry.

MarShayllows: I'm fricking in.


 

[NewRichKid SoftEmo]

NewRichKid: Why aren't you in bed? :(

SoftEmo: Sorry babe, I just need to do this thing with Allura and then i'll be right up

NewRichKid: If you two are doing anything similar to the video I was shown yesterday then you have to tell me

SoftEmo: Nothing like that.

NewRichKid: Then what are you doing?

SoftEmo: I'll tell you once it's done.

SoftEmo: Which is gonna be in a few months or so.

NewRichKid: What!?

NewRichKid: No Keith bby pls don't keep secrets from me I hate secrets

SoftEmo: Well you're gonna love this one

NewRichKid: Well i'm gonna be grumpy about it

SoftEmo: it'll be worth it.

SoftEmo: ......I'm I still getting cuddles tonight?

NewRichKid: Wtf of course you are

NewRichKid: I'm not gonna withhold cuddles because of a secret. 

SoftEmo: (✿ヘᴥヘ)

NewRichKid: (〃ω〃)

Chapter Text

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

SoftEmo: I'm too gay for this shit

Aphrodite: Same

SoftEmo: fuck wrong chat

PidgeonLord: Oh?

NewRichKid: Babe why

SoftEmo: It was an accident!

[Aphrodite has changed SoftEmo's username to Kogayne]

Kogayne: Original.

Aphrodite: :)

[Aphrodite has changed Takashit's username to Shirogayne]

Shirogayne: I thought you didn't notice me

NewRichKid: *Whispers* Brogaynes

PidgeonLord: FUCK

Aphrodite: Guess it runs in the family

Kogayne: ...........

NewRichKid: You okay?

Kogayne: Yeah, just tired that's all

PidgeonLord: It's 2pm

NewRichKid: Want me to come to your room?

Kogayne: mh

[NewRichKid has gone offline]

Shirogayne: What's that about?

Aphrodite: ..... I don't know

PidgeonLord: It's Keith and Lance, we'll never know what they're up to

Kogayne: Hey! There are someth

[Kogayne has gone offline]

Aphrodite: Okay what the fuck

PidgeonLord: That certainly is quite peculiar

Aphrodite: Word of the day?

PidgeonLord: Yup

Aphrodite: Nice

Shirogayne: I just walked past Keith's room and I heard one of them whisper 'Want me to keep going?' and frankly i'm to scared to confront them

Aphrodite: OH MY GOD THEY ARE NOT

PidgeonLord: THEY BETTER NOT BE

PidgeonLord: I'VE GOT MONEY ON THE LINE THEY HAVE TO WAIT TIL NEXT MONTH

Shirogayne: Are you seriously betting on my brother's.... 'Personal' life

PidgeonLord: Yeah, with your fiancé

MemeHolt: OH FUCK OFF PIDGE

Shirogayne: MATTHEW ROSÁ HOLT I AM DISSAPOINTED

MemeHolt: ........ Sorry daddy

MemeHolt: Wait fuck.

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]

Aphrodite: I'm totally not taking screenshots for blackmail haha nope

MemeHolt: Oh fuck off Triple A

Aphrodite: How 'bout you go fuck off with your daddy, huh?

[Shirogayne has gone offline]

MemeHolt: I officially hate you

Aphrodite: Aw, no you don't

MemeHolt: Shit, u rite

MemeHolt: I despise you.


 

[NewRichKidKogayne]

NewRichKid: Where do you keep your spare blankets?

Kogayne: Closet opposite the living room

NewRichKid: Ah, thanks.

NewRichKid: ...... Which one is the living room?

Kogayne: Seriously?

NewRichKid: It's a big house! And as far as i'm concerned you have at least 3 living rooms

Kogayne: The one with the fireplace

NewRichKid: Ah, okay.

NewRichKid: You feeling any better?

Kogayne: I think so.

Kogayne: I think i'll feel even better in the fort though ^.^

NewRichKid: I'm just getting the extra pillows and blankets now

Kogayne: (^▽^)

NewRichKid: <3


 

[ShirogayneNewRichKid]

Shirogayne: Did you just take all the blankets from the closet?

NewRichKid: Um, and if I did?

Shirogayne: What're they for?

NewRichKid: They're for Keith

Shirogayne: ?

NewRichKid: He wasn't feeling to good earlier so I built him a pillow fort and made him into a happy lil sushi roll

NewRichKid: [Image attached]

Shirogayne: Oh.

NewRichKid: Yeah. But dios mios look at his face he looks so happy and adorable i love him so much omg

Shirogayne: I'm glad you're looking after him Lance

NewRichKid: Thanks Shiro.

NewRichKid: I honestly feel so lucky to even just have him in my life

NewRichKid: I don't think i've ever been this happy with someone before

Shirogayne: I hope you've found your someone like I found mine

NewRichKid: I hope so to..

NewRichKid: And hey, good luck to you and Matt

Shirogayne: Good luck to you and Keith

[Shirogayne has gone offline]

[NewRichKid has gone offline]

Chapter Text

[NewRichKidKogayne]

NewRichKid: Baaaaabe

NewRichKid: I'm bored :/

Kogayne: Then do something?

NewRichKid: I wanna do something with youuuuuuuuuu

Kogayne: Lance i'm busy right now.

NewRichKid: Doing what? (ΦωΦ)

Kogayne: Stuff

NewRichKid: Can I be stuff?

Kogayne: Lance hoyl shit yuo cant just say stuff likee that

NewRichKid: Is somebody getting flustered~?

Kogayne: I hate you

NewRichKid: No u don't

Kogayne: Yeah, that's the problem

NewRichKid: Ouch.

NewRichKid: But anyway, we should go dancing! (ノ ̄ω ̄)ノ

Kogayne: Dancing? Really?

NewRichKid: Yeah!

NewRichKid: None of that fancy ass ballroom shit but like, freestyle, y'know?

Kogayne: Yeah, I do know. That's why I don't wanna do it.

NewRichKid: Keeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttthhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (╥_╥)

NewRichKid: C'mon! i used to be a great choreographer back in high school!

Kogayne: No.

NewRichKid: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Kogayne: Why do you even want to go dancing of all things

NewRichKid: Well... You've been kinda tense lately and i remember i used to go to this dance studio when i was pretty stressed and it helped me unwind easily and yeah

Kogayne: Aw, Lance

NewRichKid: Whatever i was hoping to get away with it without you knowing but uh, if you don't wanna go thats fine its your choice

Kogayne: Get ready, we're leaving in an hour

NewRichKid: Wait seriously?

Kogayne: Seriously.

NewRichKid: (*≧∀≦*)


 

[The Adults]

Shirogayne: Those boys need to start telling us when they're leaving

Aphrodite: They left?

Shirogayne: Exactly

MemeHolt: Just ask Pidge to dowload a program on your phone and you'll be able to track them

Shirogayne: Um, excuse me?

MemeHolt: I mean, nothing

Aphrodite: Pidge tracks people??????????

PidgeonLord: Indeed I do my sweet Allura

Aphrodite: HOW THE SHIT DID YOU GET INTO THIS GC!?!?!?!?!?

Shirogayne: You aren't even listed as a member of the gc??? wtf????

PidgeonLord: Did you guys know how easy it is to hack into these groupchats?

PidgeonLord: Seriously the on this thing firewall could be hacked by a kindergardener

MemeHolt: 'Sup Pidge. How're Hunay doing?

Shirogayne: Hunay?

PidgeonLord: Shay's being doing weird stuff with coffee? Idk maybe it's another craving thing like the marshmellows

Aphrodite: What kinda weird stuff with coffee?

PidgeonLord: Idk. She's been, and I quote, "Making her own syrups"???

PidgeonLord: But then there's Hunk who's silenty stressing out and i'm pretty sure I saw a grey hair on his head

MemeHolt: Ah, I remember when Shiro turned grey

Shirogayne: Bitch I dyed it this way

Aphrodite: Wait so the hair floof is intentional?

Shirogayne: Yes?

Aphrodite: Omg you poor thing

Aphrodite: We need to buy you a sense of style

MemeHolt: HEY! 'Kashi's hair floof is loved and appreciated thank you very much

PidgeonLord: It's about as appreciated as Shiro's actions pre-Klance

Aphrodite: OH SHIT

MemeHolt: I..... Don't have a comeback for that

MemeHolt: Damn

Shirogayne: I hate you guys

MemeHolt: D:

Shirogayne: I hate you less than the others

MemeHolt: :D

PidgeonLord: You guys don't know the full story, do you?

Aphrodite: If there was more than the Lotor thing then no?

Shirogayne: Pidge I swear to fuck

PidgeonLord: Nah, I won't tell you guys today

PidgeonLord: But if he makes one wrong move you guys tell me and i'm going to the groupchat with this shit.

Aphrodite: Gotcha, Shiro's gotta be on his best behaviour for the rest of his life

MemeHolt: Except at night time ;P

[PidgeonLord has gone offline]

[Aphrodite has gone offline]

Shirogayne: This is why none of our friends like us.


 

[NewRichKid > Shirogayne]

NewRichKid: Hey can you get an ice pack for Keith when he gets in?

Shirogayne: What the fuck did you do to him

NewRichKid: I didn't do anything! This lil shit overestimated himself when we were out dancing and bruised his hip

Shirogayne: Oh

Shirogayne: You got Keith to dance

NewRichKid: [Video attached]

NewRichKid: Don't tell him about this

Shirogayne: ......

Shirogayne: Thanks for the blackmail

NewRichKid: I gotta do smth to get the sibling's blessing

Shirogayne: d(-_- )  

Chapter Text

[NewRichKid Lotwhore]

NewRichKid: Long story short, pretty sure Allura practically adopted me at one point

Lotwhore: Still not sure on how that happened but.... Good for you?

NewRichKid: are u kidding me Allura has 0% sense of responsibilty i could have died

Lotwhore: but did you die?

NewRichKid: shit u rite

NewRichKid: Also, may i enquire the name change my dear friend?

Lotwhore: Yes you may, but beware it is a story that musn't be repeated

NewRichKid: My lips are sealed

Lotwhore: My friends are dickbags

NewRichKid: Ah.

Lotwhore: You have one one night stand with a guy and BOOM

NewRichKid: That sucks

NewRichKid: Was it a one night stand or.... Something more? *Wiggles eyebrows*

Lotwhore: Perv

Lotwhore: I mean... I texted his number and he didn't give me a fake

NewRichKid: :D

NewRichKid: So, what's his name? Age? job?

Lotwhore: We met at a bar as if I'd ask what he does for a living

Lotwhore: His name's Rolo and he's 26

Lotwhore: Also he's v handsome??? Honestly he could probably pick me up and snap me in half

NewRichKid: Daaaaammmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnn

NewRichKid: Send me a pic after your date

Lotwhore: Aren't you in a relationship already?

NewRichKid: Yeah this is to see if Keith is settling for me when there's other hotter guys out there

Lotwhore: Don't... Put yourself down like that?

Lotwhore: Keith's lucky to have you

Lotwhore: I'm not good at comforting people but, you're good man. You're good.

NewRichKid: Thanks dude.


 

[Shirogayne has added PidgeonLordMemeHoltAphroditeMarShayllows, and TheWholeSomeone to Who is Lance texting?]

Aphrodite: Not me

MarShayllows: Not me

TheWholeSomeone: Nuh uh

MemeHolt: nope

PidgeonLord: Not me either?

PidgeonLord: Maybe he's texting Keith?

Shirogayne: Keith has barely picked up his phone all day

Aphrodite: Have you maybe considered the posibility that Lance has other friends

PidgeonLord: No he doesn't

MarShayllows: Yeah no sorry

TheWholeSomeone: I've known that boy since we were in diapers I know every single friend he's made in his life and he has kept in contact with exactly six (6) of them + one (1) boyfriend

MemeHolt: So.... Who is he texting?

MarShayllows: Coran?

Aphrodite: Coran's offline.

PidgeonLord: Looks to me Shiro that you're crossing some lines with privacy...

Shirogayne: Sounds to me like i'm looking out for the safety of my brother's boyfriend since he might be speaking to someone dangerous that he's not told any of us about

MemeHolt: Maybe he told Keith about this person?

Aphrodite: Yeah, add Keith here!

MarShayllows: Keith probably knows tbh

[Shirogayne has added Kogayne to Who is Lance texting?]

Kogayne: What. The. Shit.

MemeHolt: Lance isn't texting any of us and we're kinda worried that he's talking to dangerous people

Kogayne: Oh okay.

Shirogayne: Aren't you at least a bit jealous/curious of who he's texting?

Kogayne: 1) I'm not jealous because I trust Lance and I don't believe that he'd cheat on me. Also he's allowed to have his own personal life and talk to people I don't know. 

Kogayne: 2) I already know who he's texting and honestly it's nbd

PidgeonLord: Told you he'd know

TheWholeSomeone: Who's he texting?

Kogayne: Lotor

Shirogayne: Lotor? As in my co-worker Lotor? The Lotor i tried to set you up with Lotor?

MarShayllows: You what.

Kogayne: Yeah, apparently after that happened Lance somehow got his number and started ranting at him like 'Keith's mine! You can't have him!' and all that shit. Turned out Lotor wasn't a dick about it and he and Lance have this weird 'friendship'

Aphrodite: Oh.

Kogayne: Y'know, y'all need to have a little more faith in Lance.

Kogayne: He ain't dumb and he ain't a cheat

Kogayne: Now if you'll excuse me, I have to tell my beloved boyfriend that at least someone here trusts him 

[Kogayne has gone offline]

PidgeonLord: .....

MarShayllows: ......

TheWholeSomeone: ......

Aphrodite: ......

MemeHolt: .....

Shirogayne: ......


 

[WHO WANT'S A LANCE?!]

NigelThorberry: I'm sensing alot of tension here

TheWholeSomeone: We don't wanna talk about it

NewRichKid: Talk about what?

MarShayllows: Nothing, it was stupid

NewRichKid: Were you guys fighting? Because honestly it's completely healthy to fight now and again, if your relationship was completely perfect then you'd be living a lie

PidgeonLord: That was... Surprisingly deep

NewRichKid: Was it?

MemeHolt: Yeah man, you know I don't think we tell you how much we appreciate you enough

Aphrodite: I agree, Lance you are a wonderful human being with whom I'd trust my life

Shirogayne: I'll admit, I was skeptical at first, but you're alright

PidgeonLord: I don't really do feelings but uhh... You're one of my closest friends and I really appreciate that I can always trust you with anything

MarShayllows: I think I speak for both Hunk and I when I say we couldn't have chosen a better godfather for our kids

TheWholeSomeone: ^ that and you're the best friend a guy can ask for

NigelThornberry: Um, I appreciate your existance!

NewRichKid: Wtf guys i'm crying??? hoyl shit i lovr you giys os muchh

TheWholeSomeone: Same here buddy.

Chapter Text

[KogayneNewRichKid]

Kogayne: You know I love you, right?

NewRichKid: Of course I do! I love you too <3

Kogayne: And you know I'd never keep (serious) secrets or lie to you about anything, yeah?

NewRichKid: Keith what is this about?

Kogayne: [X2 images attached]

Kogayne: You deserved to know.

NewRichKid: ...

NewRichKid: When was this?

Kogayne: About an hour ago, around when you where texting Lotor.

NewRichKid: I can't believe this...

NewRichKid: They don't trust me?

Kogayne: I don't know if anything was discussed after that, I kinda left the groupchat

NewRichKid: After what they said not even 20 minutes ago about how they appreciated me....

Kogayne: Do you need sometime alone?

NewRichKid: Yeah. I think I do. I'm gonna sleep in my room tonight

Kogayne: That's fine. Just text me if you want/need anything

NewRichKid: I will

NewRichKid: Thanks for telling me.

Kogayne: You deserved to know.


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

[NewRichKid has left WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

PidgeonLord: Whoa what?

Aphrodite: ???

TheWholeSomeone: Maybe it was an accident

MemeHolt: Add him back in?

Kogayne: Don't.

Shirogayne: ?

Kogayne: I sent Lance screenshots of the chat you guys made.

PidgeonLord: And why would you do that!?

Kogayne: Because he fucking deserved to know how toxic you guys were acting.

Kogayne: If you didn't want Lance to know that maybe you should've considered what you guys were doing in the first place

Kogayne: Lance is staying in his room tonight and he's turning his phone off. No body is going to fucking message him unless he messages you to (rightfully) scream at you

Kogayne: Honestly, all these secrets aren't good. You guys need to fucking grow up and learn to tell the truth and face the goddamn consequences

MemeHolt: ...

PidgeonLord: ...

TheWholeSomeone: ...

Shirogayne: In that case... Before you and Lance were going out I had found Allura's phone and noticed Lance messaging her about his crush on you. I decided to open her phone and actively discourage him from trying to date you. I then continued to try and discourage the both of you from dating...

PidgeonLord: I found out and held it over his head as blackmail instead of telling you guys....

Aphrodite: I know you already know this but, I made a groupchat that focused on you guys getting together without taking specfically your feelings, Keith, into consideration

TheWholeSomeone: We all distrusted Lance and then lead him into a false sense of security thinking there was mutual levels of trust, despite him trusting us more than we trusted him

MarShayllows: I let this all happen....

Kogayne: ... I'm glad you guys are at least being honest

Kogayne: Lance and I kept our relationship a secret for awhile before telling anybody because we were scared about what you guys, mostly Shiro, would think. However we did this for our own safety as Shiro would have never let me date Lance.

Kogayne: And listen, neither Lance nor I are gonna forgive you that easily. Of course, Lance is the largest victim here and I would understand if he didn't wanna talk to you guys again after this. And you can't do what Shiro did and apologise with a grand gesture. Lance needs time. Even i'm not going to talk to him tonight and I hope you guys understand how bad you've fucked up.

[Kogayne has gone offline]

MemeHolt: We're bad people aren't we...

Aphrodite: I guess we are...


 

[NewRichKidKogayne]

NewRichKid: Hey...

Kogayne: Hey, you doing okay?

NewRichKid: Yeah.

NewRichKid: Can we... Stay in a hotel tonight?

Kogayne: Of course.

Kogayne: Do you wanna talk when we get there?

NewRichKid: Kinda... Not really.

NewRichKid: I just wanna talk with you and y'know, communicate and shit

Kogayne: I understand

Kogayne: Do you want single beds?

NewRichKid: No. We're not gonna get into a fight Keith. I just want to talk and establish some, for lack of a better word, rules

NewRichKid: Like what you did earlier, if something's going on that you think I should know about, then tell me

Kogayne: Of course! Lance there is nothing I would lie to you about

NewRichKid: I know I just need to be reassured, you know?

Kogayne: I understand

NewRichKid: I love you

Kogayne: I love you too.


 

The ride to the hotel was slightly uncomfortable. Lance was completely silent and kept a solem look on his face the entire time, however Keith couldn't blame him. He could barely imagine what was going through Lance's head right now. The couple checked in and made their way to the room they had booked not even an hour before. As soon as they got in they both sat on the bed side by side, tension still heavy in the air.

"Am I good enough?" Lance muttered, he probably didn't want Keith to hear, but he heard anyways. "I feel like, no matter how much I care about another person, i'll never be good enough to have even a little trust? I just-"

"Lance," Keith cut him off. Of course Keith wanted to listen to his boyfriend but he couldn't let him keep thinking like this. "I won't defend our friends because honestly, I can't. I have no idea what was going through their heads at the time but I also don't know what's going through your head. So i'm going to say this. I'm going to tell you that you're good enough. In fact, you're better than good enough. You're amazing, you're worth all the trust in the world and so much more. I love and trust you more than I trust my own brother right now.

"I can't understand why they'd treat you like that. After all the things you've done for them, after all the things you've done for me alone," Keith trailed off as he looked at Lance's face. His eyes were watering and he couldn't hold back the tears. Lance had turned to Keith so they could hug. Lance didn't pounce on Keith but he instead went extremely slow, as if, if they moved the were going to break.

"Thank you." Lance sobbed.

"Don't thank me for loving you silly," Keith tried to make light in this situation, knowling that Lance got uncomfortable and insecure when he was like this. "If anything you should be saying sorry for stealing my heart," Keith felt Lance's smile against his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You doin' okay?" Keith asked as he stroked Lance's hair. It had been an at least two hours since they'd got to the hotel and the only real movement they had made was that they were laying on the bed with Lance's face still resting in the crook of Keith neck.

"I guess... I mean, I still feel betrayed but I've calmed down," Lance shrugged. Keith looked down at him.

"You're allowed to be mad Lance. Just because they're your friends doesn't mean that you can't be angry,"

"I know I just- Can we talk about that again later?" Lance asked. Keith nodded, he knew his boyfriend had to talk about this, but he wasn't going to force him to talk if he didn't want to.

"In that case, how about I tell you about that thing I was working on?" At that, Lance looked up at Keith with wide eyes. He nodded slightly. "Well you see, after you complained about me keeping you up all night with my texts, I was starting to wonder if I should get a job," Lance opened his mouth to speak, but Keith continued. "So I made this plan but I was going to need Allura's help for it, but I don't think I want her apart of the picture anymore... Anyway. I was going to open up a coffee shop,"

"Really?"

"Yeah I-" Keith paused. He shouldn't be distracting Lance. They needed to work through these problems. Distracting themselves would get them no where and-

[NewRichKidKogayne]

NewRichKid: It's easier to text... Don't you think?

Keith blinked as he stared at his phone. He then watched Lance typing out his next message.

NewRichKid: It weird, kinda like there's no filter.

NewRichKid: I can say what I want here and be confident about it

NewRichKid: I know I look and sound confident in real life but... I don't always feel that way. You get me?

Kogayne: Yeah...

NewRichKid: Do you mind if i vent right now?

Kogayne: Not at all. Do what you need to do.

NewRichKid: I just... Except for you Shiro and Matt, i've known my friends almost my entire life. We all grew up together, me and Hunk especially. Hell, in high school Shay Pidge Hunk and I were called the Quad Squad. Allura was more of a family friend. I trusted these guys with everything, secrets, personal problems... All that shit

NewRichKid: So I'm not that mad about the reason why they're talking about me like this, i'm just wondering for how long?

NewRichKid: How many times have they expected me to turn around one day and just say, "I'm gonna be a real assbag today!"?

NewRichKid: For Shiro and Matt's case, I haven't known them that long, it doesn't make what they did any better, but i'm not that mad at them because they don't know me like these guys do

NewRichKid: They know me so well... So why can't they just trust me to stay commited?

NewRichKid: They all know that i'm a loyal guy, sure I flirted alot but i'm not the kinda person who cheats

NewRichKid: So why are you the only person who trusts me as much as I trust you?

NewRichKid: I'd rant a bit more but you're really warm and it's making me kinda tired. Especially after crying

NewRichKid: I'm sorry i'm such a mess

Kogayne: You're not a mess Lance. You honestly need to take your own feelings into more consideration more often. Do you know how much of a godsend you are to me? I trust you with things I don't even trust my own blood with. Everytime I see you I know that it's gonna be a good day. I love you so fucking much that it hurts when you're not around. that's so cilché but it's true. I don't know what the fuck our friends are thinking because anyone who has you in their lives are so blessed

NewRichKid: ....What did I do to deserve you?

Kogayne: I ask myself the same question everyday.

Kogayne: I love you Lance. And i'm always gonna be here for you, no matter what

NewRichKid: I love you too,

NewRichKid: Thank you.

~~~~~~~

Lance fell asleep not long after that. Keith only held him and wiped his tear-stained cheeks as he thought about their situation. Was Lance ever going to trust their friends again? Was Keith? He didn't know. At this point Keith didn't want to step one foot inside his own house because he'd have to face the people who he thought supported both him and Lance.

Instead of worrying, Keith decided to talk it over tomorrow instead and fall asleep holding Lance, as if he were something precious.

Chapter Text

It had been an entire month since anybody dared to speak on the groupchat. Everyone felt guiltier than the word guilty could even describe.

But now it's time to face their problems, like adults.


 

[WHO WANTS A LANCE?!]

[Kogayne has changed the groupchat name to Don't fuck up]

[Kogayne has added LanceM to Don't fuck up]

LanceM: Hey guys.

MarShayllows: Lance i'm so sorry I fucked up so bad and there's no excuse for everything that's happened and I honestly don't deserve forgiveness and I understand if you want to stop speaking to me or all of us but just know that words can't even describe how bad I feel and i just want you to know that we never meant to be that toxic we just wanted you to be safe and happy

LanceM: Do you all feel like this?

TheWholeSomeone: How could we not?

PidgeonLord: Of course!

Shirogayne: Lance we're so sorry

Aphrodite: For everything

MemeHolt: We didn't want to hurt you

NigelThornberry: I'll be honest, I don't know what's happening but I'm sorry as well.

LanceM: Then...

LanceM: I forgive you

Kogayne: What?

LanceM: You all obviously feel horrible after what you did so, I forgive you guys

Kogayne: Lance you can't just forgive them like that!

LanceM: Why not?

Kogayne: Because they hurt you! I don't think they fully understand what they put you through!

LanceM: Keith it's fine.

Kogayne: I

Kogayne: Okay.

LanceM: Good. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a nap :)

[LanceM has gone offline]

Kogayne: If any of you guys ever dare do anything like that again then I won't fucking hestitate.

Aphrodite: That's completely fair

PidgeonLord: Absolutely fine

TheWholeSomeone: Good.


 

[Lotwhore > LanceM]

Lotwhore: So you just accepted their apology? Like that?

LanceM: What else am I supposed to do? Cut them out of my life?

Lotwhore: Um,

Lotwhore: Yes?????????

Lotwhore: If any of my friends ever did that I'd be on the next plane to somewhere like Peru or some shit

LanceM: Lotor, I've known these guys my whole life!

Lotwhore: And they abused you like that?

Lotwhore: Listen, i'm not a therapist but it sounds like you're repressing alot of stuff which is... not... good.

LanceM: Ugh, you sound like Keith

Lotwhore: Well it's because we're right. You can't just accept abusive people back into your life, its not healthy!

LanceM: Shut the fuck up you can't tell me what i can and can't do you greasy ass nobody

LanceM: Holy shit I'm sorry I really don't know where that came from!

Lotwhore: No, do it again, please.

LanceM: What? Do you get off on this shit or something?

Lotwhore: No I... Just do it again

LanceM: Okay...

LanceM: Who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't do? You tried to get with my boyfriend despite him being WAYYYYYYYYYYY younger than you, you absolute pervert! I'm so fucking tired of people telling me what to feel or what to do! It makes me fucking sick! I want to be able to do what I want to and that includes speaking to people who my friends don't know about! I want a personal life outside my main friend group! I want some goddamned TRUST

Lotwhore: There we go.

Lotwhore: Feel better?

LanceM: .....A lot, actually.

Lotwhore: I don't think you're over it yet. I think you need to tell them exactly how you feel.

LanceM: Yeah...

LanceM: One second


 

[Don't fuck up]

[LanceM has added Lotwhore to Don't fuck up]

Shirogayne: Lotor?

Lotwhore: 'Sup

MemeHolt: ???

Lotwhore: I think i'm here for emotional support

Kogayne: Hey! That's my job!

Lotwhore: You can have 40% credit for this

PidgeonLord: credit for what

LanceM: I'm so fucking sick and tired of all your bullshit guys. Am I not allowed to have other friends??? Am I not allowed a fucking personal life??? I just can't believe you'd fucking to that to me after all I've ever done for you guys. I trusted you all with secrets that I would've taken to the grave if I didn't know you but then you turn around and act like you need to control my life! It's sick! You can't tell me who I can and can't speak to and you shouldn't get suspicious of me! Do I not deserve an ounce of trust? After everything I've done for you guys? After ever little lie I've told for you? After every little secret I've kept? I know I said that I forgave you but I don't think I fully have but i'm not gonna go radio-silent for another month. Now you guys have to earn my trust back. I don't know how but you'll have to. If you still want me in your life

PidgeonLord: ...

MemeHolt: ...

Aphrodite: ...

Kogayne: *Applause*

Lotwhore: It's what y'all deserve

PidgeonLord: Did you tell him to say all that? Because that sounds controlling

Lotwhore: [Image attached]

Lotwhore: This is the chat we had earlier. Now if you'll excuse me, I really shouldn't be here.

[Lotwhore has left Don't fuck up]

TheWholeSomeone: Okay I don't know who that guy is but he's completely right, as is Lance. We can't control who he hangs out with or how he lives his life, that's Lance's decision. We shouldn't interfer.

LanceM: Thank you. Now that I have that out of my system, can we go back to being normal? Please?

Shirogayne: You can't just flip a switch and pretend everything's okay Lance.

LanceM: Oh no I'm still mad and you guys still have to earn my trust again and all that shit but... I really missed having you guys as my friends and I wanna give you all a second chance to be better people. You all know exactly what you did wrong and I want you all to prove that to me. I know you aren't bad people, you just made some bad choices.

MarShayllows: Lance you can't just accept us back into your life again

LanceM: Watch me.


 

[KogayneLanceM]

Kogayne: You okay?

LanceM: Yeah. Y'know I was being completely honest there right? I hated what they did but... I missed them, so bad.

Kogayne: I know you did, but they didn't see what they did do you. I did.

Kogayne: Don't you remember the sleepless nights? The ones where you'd wake up shaking and crying.

LanceM: I do Keith, and I don't want to remember them.

LanceM: I know what I'm doing seems wrong but just trust me Keith. I'll be okay

Kogayne: You know I trust you Lance. I trust you with my life.

LanceM: I know. Now get your fat ass in bed and cuddle me

Kogayne: Do you think we should tell them we moved out or...?

LanceM: Once they've proven that I can trust them, then I'll tell them where we live 

Kogayne: Fine

LanceM: <3

Kogayne: <3

Chapter Text

[Don't fuck up]

LanceM: So i've just been going through the chat history and I realised something

LanceM: Did you guys not talk during the time I wasn't here?

PidgeonLord: Well, no.

Aphrodite: Not really.

LanceM: Okay. Wow

LanceM: Blahhhh forget i mentioned it

PidgeonLord: Can I just ask one question?

LanceM: Hit me.

PidgeonLord: Did you quit Walmart?

LanceM: Yeh

Aphrodite: So you don't have a job rn?

Kogayne: Lance don't you dare

LanceM: But... Babe

Kogayne: No.

PidgeonLord: What is happening

Kogayne: Stuff, and things

Shirogayne: What kinds of stuff and things?

Kogayne: Things and stuff

Aphrodite: Oh my god


 

[Shirogayne Kogayne]

Shirogayne: Are you guys doing okay?

Kogayne: Yeah, we're chill

Shirogayne: I mean like, money and sleeping arrangements wise

Kogayne: I know. And again, we're chill

Shirogayne: I'm just worried that you guys have been gone a month and Lance left his job. If you guys need anything don't be afraid to text

Kogayne: That's nice Shiro.

Kogayne: But we're fine.

Kogayne: Just because Lance left his job at walmart doesn't mean he doesn't have a job

Shirogayne: Okay but, what about where you're staying?

Kogayne: Listen, i'm not gonna tell you exactly where we're staying but Lance and I have moved out.

Kogayne: We both agreed that we aren't going to tell anyone where we lived until we can trust you guys as our friends again

Shirogayne: Keith, i'm your brother

Kogayne: And as a brother, you should know to respect my privacy and personal life

Shirogayne: Keith, you don't understand

Kogayne: Oh no, I understand.

[Kogayne has gone offline]


 

[The Adults]

Aphrodite: Did you talk to Keith?

Shirogayne: yeah, but he's not listening.

MemeHolt: Well we did do a pretty shitty thing

Aphrodite: True, Keith has every right to not want to talk to us right now

Aphrodite: Lance may have 'forgiven' us but we all know that Keith holds a pretty bad grudge

Shirogayne: Yeah, sorry Krolia. 

KroliaKogane: It's fine. I'll continue to search for him myself.


 

[LanceM has added Kogayne and Lotwhore to Lance Support Group (LSG)]

Kogayne: Are you okay?

Kogayne: Did something happen???????

Kogayne: Do I need to come upstairs??????????????

LanceM: Calm down Keith i'm fine

Lotwhore: Then why the support group?

LanceM: For when I'm not fine

Lotwhore: ????????????

Lotwhore: Why am I here? Isn't it your boyfriend's job for when you're sad?

LanceM: Keith's busy doing stuff

LanceM: And sadly, I am not stuff

Lotwhore: I'm not here to do couples counsiling

Kogayne: Good. 'Cause we don't need it.

Lotwhore: You do know that even the most healthiest of couples benefit from counsiling as it offers greater room for communication and more honest sharing of thoughts and feelings.

Kogayne: You do know that I really wanna stick my foot up your ass

LanceM: Keith!

Lotwhore: Is this about the whole 'I wanted to date you thing'? Because just know that I am COMPLETELY over that

Kogayne: No... I'm sorry. I've been kinda stressed lately with this whole café project and then I've got my brother riding my ass

Lotwhore: Sounds harsh

Lotwhore: If you ever need any help with it i'm down.

Kogayne: No, it's fine

LanceM: Thats it im coming downstairs

Kogayne: What? No Lance I'm fine

LanceM: Hmmm. No you're not.


 

[4 broke af mofos]

LanceM: Been awhile since this chat has been used. Huh?

MarShayllows: Yeah. I guess it has.

LanceM: Anyway, i need your guys advice

TheWholeSomeone: Really?

LanceM: Yeah.

LanceM: Keith's been pretty stressed lately but he won't let me help him! I've tried talking to him but it's not helping. 

PidgeonLord: Fuck him

MarShayllows: WHOA

TheWholeSomeone: READ THE NAME PIDGE.

PidgeonLord: What? Keith's sexually frustrated. I thought that was obvious.

PidgeonLord: Unless you guys have already fucked?

LanceM: Well, uh no.

PidgeonLord: Then fuck him!

MarShayllows: How do you know that Keith is sexually frustrated?

PidgeonLord: He's been sexually frustrated for five years and hasn't had a boyfriend in all that time. (Not including Lance)

TheWholeSomeone: Pidge! You do know that for couples sex is a very intimate act. Also, some couples don't even have sex!!!

TheWholeSomeone: Heck, Keith may not even like sex! He might just be regularly stressed

PidgeonLord: Just, bring up the idea of sex. If he says no, then don't do it. And if you're uncomfortable, then don't do it

MarShayllows: Consent is the most important thing. From both parties

LanceM: Listen, I'm down to fuck Keith, or to him fucking me. I'm not picky

[TheWholeSomeone has gone offline]

LanceM: But what if he doesn't want to and it makes things awkward

MarShayllows: Trust me, it won't make things awkward.

MarShayllows: But knowing Keith, you are gonna have to be blunt about it

PidgeonLord: Oh God I remember that you had to literally drop hints for weeks

MarShayllows: Yup.

MarShayllows: But still remember! Consent and Communication are the most important things

LanceM: Okay then, guess I'll go talk to Keith

PidgeonLord: GO GET 'EM BOI! FUCK HIS BRAINS OUT!

[LanceM has gone offline]

MarShayllows: This is why people don't take you seriously

Chapter Text

[ShirogayneKroliaKogane]

Shirogayne: I'm sorry I couldn't help you find Keith

KroliaKogane: It's fine Shiro. It'll just be a little extra work. Nothing that I'm not used to.

Shirogayne: I know it's just...

Shirogayne: It's entirely my fault that Keith left in the first place

Shirogayne: I made the entire group suspicious of Lance which was just the last straw

Shirogayne: I tried to control his personal life... I actively hated a stranger just because he liked Keith

KroliaKogane: The past is in the past. If you can't move on from it you'll never see how the story ends.

Shirogayne: Wow. Um, okay.

KroliaKogane: Also may I ask, who is this Lance? And why did it cause Keith to leave?

Shirogayne: Oh Lance is Keith's boyfriend

KroliaKogane: My son has a boyfriend?

Shirogayne: Yeah, do you have a problem with that?

KroliaKogane: I AM SO PROUD OF HIM MY SMALL SON IS IN A RELATIONSHIP I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE THE DAY

Shirogayne: What?

KroliaKogane: Koganes normally don't have a good romantic life

KroliaKogane: BUT I AM SO PROUD OF MY SMALL BEAN OF A SON

KroliaKogane: I MUST MEET HIS BOYFRIEND AT ONCE

Shirogayne: Uh, maybe you should wait just a little while longer

Shirogayne: I think that Keith is kinda stressed and now isn't the greatest time to find out that he's adopted

KroliaKogane: You... Never told him?

Shirogayne: Um, no?

KroliaKogane: I specifically told your parents to never hide that from him.

Shirogayne: I think... They wanted him to feel normal.


 

Lance fumbled with the hem of his shirt as he stood outside the main area of their apartment. God he was so nerveous. Why was he so nerveous? It's not like Lance was a virgin and was scared of sex. On the contrary! He had had sex before! A few girls, a few guys. There's no reason he should be so nerveous!

Slowly, Lance entered the living toom where Keith sat on the couch, his legs tucked under him, doing something on a tablet. Lance cautiously sat next to him, placing an arm around his neck, Keith's head then instictively fell to Lance's shoulder as he continued playing his game on the tablet. Okay, this was it. Lance was about to ask him. Okay, deep breaths.

"Hey Keith," Oh God his heart was pounding. His palms were so fucking sweaty - he was so fucking sweaty! How was Keith dealing with him right now? Keith gave a small hum of acknowledgement. "So we've been together for awhile now and I was wondering if, um, you, uhh, want to have sex?" Lance took a deep breath. He finally got it out. Of course the last part was rushed but - yeah.

Wait, Keith had tensed. Uh oh. That isn't good.

"D-do you want to?" Keith asked, lifting his head from Lance's shoulder to look him in the face. Bashfully, Lance instead looked at the floor.

"I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to," Lance answered and looked back at Keith whose expression was unreadable.

Keith tossed the tablet aside and placed his face into his hands. "I'm so sorry."

Lance was there in an instant. "What? Hey, no, no. It's okay Keith! Like I said, we don't have to." Keith sighed lightly.

"I just, I don't think I'm... Ready for that," Keith explained. "Our relationship has gone kinda fast for me and I- I wanna start to go a bit slower. Is that okay?"

"Yeah! Yeah of course Keith!" Lance smiled at him, trying to reassure him. But then he felt his face all a little. "Why didn't you mention it earlier?"

"I've never been in a relationship before Lance! I wasn't sure how fast they're supposed to go," Keith mumbled the last part

"Babe! You're supposed to talk to me about those things!" Lance took Keith into his arms, causing him to laugh lightly. "Promise me you'll try and talk to me more?"

Keith looked at Lance fondly. "Promise Blue,"

Lance left a little peck on Keith's cheek. Lightening the mood in the room.

"Now, let's see if I can get Netflix to work,"


 

[The Adults]

KroliaKogane: May I ask a question?

Aphrodite: Hit us with it Mama Kogane

MemeHolt: You just did

KroliaKogane: Whatever

KroliaKogane: Does Keith have synesthesia?

MemeHolt: Yeah, he does actually

Aphrodite: How did you know?

KroliaKogane: Well, I have it.

MemeHolt: Seriously?! :O

MemeHolt: Do you have the one where voices are colours too?????

KroliaKogane: Yeah, I can also hear smells and taste feelings.

MemeHolt: Whoa :OOOO

Aphrodite: Wait, you can have multiple types at once?

KroliaKogane: Yep, it's actually fairly common

MemeHolt: I'm learning so much today :D

Aphrodite: Aren't you meant to be teaching a class right now?

MemeHolt: Oh shit.

KroliaKogane: I'm going to pray for those poor children who have you as a teacher

Aphrodite: omg you are keiths mom

Chapter Text

[Shirogayne has added KroliaKoganeMemeHolt, AphroditeMarShayllows, TheWholeSomeone, and PidgeonLord to Don't Tell Klance]

PidgeonLord: I thought we all agreed to not do shit like this again.

Aphrodite: Trust us, this is completely different

MarShayllows: Speaking of different, not to be rude but who is KroliaKogane???

Shirogayne: Shes Keith's mom

TheWholeSomeone: Wait so is she your step-mom or something?

KroliaKogane: I have no blood relations to the Shirogane family

MarShayllows: Wait so,

Shirogayne: Keith was adopted

PidgeonLord: WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS????

PidgeonLord: DOES KEITH KNOW???

KroliaKogane: Keith doesn't know yet, but I would like to meet my son soon

MarShayllows: Not to repeat what has already been said but,

MarShayllows: WHY ARE YOU TELLING US THIS???

MarShayllows: AND WHY CAN'T LANCE KNOW??

MemeHolt: Let's be honest, Lance would tell Keith in a heartbeat and we kinda want it to be a surprise

TheWholeSomeone: So what? Are we going to throw a surprise party like 'SURPRISE YOU'RE ADOPTED AND ALMOST YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IS A LIE!!!! YAY!' and then eat cake?

MemeHolt: That's the best case scenario yeah

MemeHolt: Speaking of cake, how's ours coming along?

TheWholeSomeone: Really well actually! I just need to finalize the design and then actually make the cake which will take a few days. Oh btw neither of you are allergic to nuts are you?

MemeHolt: If I was that'd be a BIG problem

Aphrodite: Alright, let's focus again guys.

PidgeonLord: So why are you telling us before you tell Keith?

KroliaKogane: I want to know what kind of person my son is. I feel that I can't get an unbiased opinion off of the other three so I feel that his friends would be more brutally honest

PidgeonLord: Keith is a dickbag but the kinda dickbag i'd trust with my life.

MemeHolt: Accurate

Aphrodite: How would you not get an unbiased opinion off of us??

KroliaKogane: Well you all are practically related through Shiro

Aphrodite: Uh, Matt counts i guess but I don't??

KroliaKogane: You're not related to Shiro or Matt?

Aphrodite: No??

KroliaKogane: Then why are you living in their house?

Aphrodite: BECAUSE I CAN!

MarShayllows: Anyway,

MarShayllows: Keith is kinda... Difficult when you first meet him. But as soon as he warms up to you you realise he's just kinda a clueless mess.

TheWholeSomeone: He won't admit it but he's a HUGE softie. But also kinda hot-headed and reckless

PidgeonLord: You may not like the idea but I suggest asking Lance. He kinda knows Keith best at this point

Aphrodite: That is true

TheWholeSomeone: Yeah. I could tell you anything you need to know about Shay or Lance but Keith is still kinda a mystery to me

KroliaKogane: Right then,

KroliaKogane: What's his contact name?

PidgeonLord: Whoa, whoa, whoa you can't just go contacting him with the username KroliaKogane.

[PidgeonLord has changed KroliaKogane's username to KroliaK]

PidgeonLord: That's better

KroliaK: Thanks?

Shirogayne: Lance's contact is LanceM

KroliaK: Thank you.


 

[KroliaKLanceM]

KroliaK: Am I speaking to Lance?

LanceM: Who is this? Who gave you my name?

KroliaK: Please don't panic.

KroliaK: Listen, you don't know me, but I know a bit about you.

LanceM: Yeah 'cause that totally doesn't make me want to panic!

KroliaK: You'll know me soon enough. But for now you'll just have to trust me

LanceM: Sorry but if you don't tell me who you are in five minutes then i'm blocking you.

KroliaK: I'm one of Keith's relatives.

LanceM: Is that so? How are you related then?

KroliaK: I'm his mother

LanceM: Haha nice try. Keith's parents aren't with us anymore

KroliaK: Ask Shiro! He'll tell you the whole story!

KroliaK: He's the one who gave me your contact name

LanceM: Okay, let's say i believe you. Why are you messaging me instead of your son?

KroliaK: I want to know what kind of man my son is. Your friends say it is best to ask you as you seem to know him like no other.

LanceM: Well I wouldn't say that, but I do know him pretty well.

KroliaK: Just tell me, what kind of man is he? What do you think of him?

LanceM: Keith? Well, if i'm honest I think he's one of the best things that has ever happened to me? I mean sure we have our fights from time to time but no relationship is truely perfect is it? And fights are healthy! Anyway, Keith may look self-assured and confident to others (which he is but not all the time), but sometimes he just needs to distance himself from others for a little while because sometimes it gets a bit too much.

LanceM: He overthinks things, gets confused easily, doesn't really understand social cues all to well, but he's also so sweet, patient, caring, loving.

LanceM: He's basically every positive adjective rolled into one and I love him... So much....

KroliaK: Wow. Thank you.

KroliaK: I'm glad my son is dating someone who thinks so highly of him

LanceM: Oh, uh, thanks?

KroliaK: May I ask another question?

LanceM: Hit me.

KroliaK: I want to be able to surprise Keith. Is there any chance you two may be able to tell me where you live so I can?

LanceM: Oh uh, listen.

LanceM: I'd need validation from Shiro to find out if you actually are who you say you are first and uh, Keith and I are trying to keep our place secret because... Reasons.

LanceM: But if you actually are Keith's mom then I might tell you. It depends

KroliaK: Right, that's completely understandable. Sorry to bother you.

LanceM: It's completely fine :)


 

[LanceMShirogayne]

LanceM: Why the fuck didn't you tell Keith he was adopted????

Chapter Text

[LanceMShirogayne]

Shirogayne: Lance it's not what you think

LanceM: Uh-huh,

Shirogayne: Just let me explain,

LanceM: Uh, no

LanceM: You've known Keith for almost his entire life (or his entire life i'm not sure) and you never took the opportunity to step him aside one day and tell him 'Hey, we're kinda not really related'? Didn't your parents ever do that? Now Keith has to find out when he's 23 and living a stable-ish life only to find out that the brother he's known for his whole life and the family he grew up with weren't really his family at all. NOT EVEN TO MENTION THE AMOUNT OF STRESS HE'S BEEN UNDER LATELY AND NOW HIS BIRTH MOTHER HAS COME BACK LOOKING FOR HIM WITHOUT HIM EVEN BEING AWARE THAT HE STILL HAS A MOTHER OUT THERE.

Shirogayne: Lance, I know how it looks but please it's not like that at all

Shirogayne: I didn't think Krolia was ever going to actually come back

LanceM: So you were just going to keep lying to Keith is that right?

Shirogayne: Lance just, stop typing for a moment and let me explain everything.

Shirogayne: When Krolia was 19 she was part of the US military and had been for about a year. However she also had a boyfriend who was also in the military well, apparently when they came back for a couple weeks they got... intimate and Krolia ended up getting pregnant. They both knew that they wouldn't be able to support or raise a child and so my parents (our families are pretty close) reached out to Krolia and said that they'd take care of her son. And well, I guess you kinda get the rest

LanceM: Wow, that's... Alot.

LanceM: But wait why haven't you told Keith now??

Shirogayne: ...

Shirogayne: When Keith was seventeen, about when my parents died and I was about to tell Keith that his parents were still out there, we got a letter in the mail.

Shirogayne: It said that Keith's father was killed in action and Krolia was MIA

Shirogayne: I don't think he could've handled it.

LanceM: ...


 

[Project Seascape]

Aphrodite: What ever happened to this???

MarShayllows: Oh yeah, I've got a bunch of recpies ready to go if you still need them?

Kogayne: Okay listen you can't tell anyone (Except Lance) but it's still happening. I've been working on the actual Café for this past month and I think it's coming along okay

Kogayne: [X12 Images attached]

MarShayllows: Oh my god

Aphrodite: IT'S BEAUTIFUL!!!

MarShayllows: Oh my god i'm in love again.

Kogayne: It's not that good but it's coming along

Aphrodite: YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT FINISHED?

Kogayne: No?

Aphrodite: BUT IT LOOKS AMAZING!

MarShayllows: How is it so modern yet so classic???

Kogayne: Magic

Aphrodite: Ask Lance, he probably knows.

[MarShayllows has added LanceM to Project Seascape]

Kogayne: Wait!

Kogayne: Nevermind

LanceM: Talk to you later guys. I'm gonna go.

[LanceM has gone offline]

Aphrodite: That was... Weird

[Kogayne has gone offline]

MarShayllows: Of course.


 

Keith rushed into the bedroom as soon as Lance had left the chat. It was unusual for him to leave a chat so suddenly. He found Lance hugging his knees while sat on the bed, staing at nothing but a blank space on the wall.

"What's wrong?" Keith asked, instantly by Lance's side. Lance looked at him and blinked, as if only just registering the fact that he was there.

"Nothing's wrong," He obviously lied. "I'm fine," He smiled to try and prove his point. Keith could see past the bullshit.

"Lance," He said in a firm tone. He knew his boyfriend didn't really like to open up about things that bothered him, so he always had to give a push to make him stop holding things in.

Lance sighed. "Have you ever really wanted to tell someone something, and you know you should because it's important! But then again, you shouldn't even know about it before they do?"

Keith was extremely confused by Lance's question and just looked at him for further explination. He opened his mouth to start explaining but was interuppted by a knocking on the downstairs door. A loud knock. Keith didn't even flinch and kept loking at his boyfriend for an explination.

"You should get that," Lance commented.

"I'm not going any where 'til I know what's wrong with you," Keith's sympathy was practically forgotten as there was a louder knocking at their door. Hesitantly, Lance took Keith's hand in his own and rubbed his knuckles with his thumb.

"You should really go get that," He really didn't want to leave Lance like this. But he was giving him no other choice, really.

Reluctantly, he left the bedroom and started to make his way downstairs. Wondering both what was up with Lance and who the fuck was at the door. No one knocked at their door unless it was a delivery for the café downstairs; there were no deliveries left until next week. Quickly, Keith made his way down the stairs before the person could knock on their door again and he tried to catch a glimpse of them through the glass panel in the door, but he didn't recognise the figure.

He opened the door tentatively to see a buff femine figure standing before him. He literally had to look up at her so she must have been just about six foot something. Her dark hair was short and he was pretty sure that he saw some kind of rat's tail? And he was told he had bad hair. He was taken aback slightly when he noticed that her eyes were a similar colour to his, a strange blue, violet, grey combination. He focused so much on the colour he failed to recognise the relief and fondness in them. What he was most stricken back by, was the tone of her purple voice as she called out a word,

"Keith,"

Chapter Text

Hey guys

So I don't really have an excuse as to why I haven't been updating this fic other than the fact that...

Right now I don't have the motivation for it.

Normally when I write a fic I have this feeling inside of me that compells me to write and I get to excited and jittery once the chapter is done. I kinda lost that feeling for this fic.

It's not that I hate the fic or that I lost my love for writing. It's just that when I open up a text document to write this it feels more like work than fun.

I'm not discontinuing this fic. I have never done that and I vow that I never will. (If you don't include the original version of this fic). It's just that some fics take alot longer to update than others...

I am still going to be updating other fics such as 'I wish I could hate you' and an upcoming oneshot related to a certain ABO universe ;)

But for now... This fic is on a hiatus which may last awhile.

I know how much you guys love this fic and I guess that's why I feel guilty that I have to write this. I know exactly where I have left this fic and I know you guys want to know what happens but I just can't.

I saw comments on the last chapter that were telling me to take care of myself and to take my time and I might just have to take that advice... But please understand that this 'time' will be longer than expected.

 

Thank you all so much for your love and support on this fic and I understand how frustrating it is to have a fic go on hiatus right when something big happens but trust me. Once I get my motivation back you'll be hit with the juciest chapter in this fic y'all will ever see.

Chapter Text

[ShirogayneLanceM]

Shirogayne: Is Krolia there?

LanceM: Yeah, she's talking with Keith on the couch now.

Shirogayne: What're they saying?

LanceM: Idk bitch I don't fucking eavesdrop on my boyfriend.

Shirogayne: Okay, sure thats fair.

Shirogayne: Do you wanna at least observe the situation?

LanceM: if Keith wants me involved in this situation then I will get involved. In the meantime, I'm going to think of ways to help him de-stress.

LanceM: I understand that he'll want some alone time to figure things out so that's exactly what I'm going to give to him

LanceM: Once they're done I'm going to talk to Krolia to see if she delivered the news gently enough

Shirogayne: Wow that's...  sweet of you Lance

LanceM: I've gotta do what I can


 

"S-so what you're saying is that," Keith paused, the words heavy on his tongue. "You're my mom?"

"Yes." The woman in front of him nodded. "I had to give you up to the Shirogane family when you were so young. Gosh, you were just a few months old when I had to leave you."

The woman was looking down at her own clasped hands, a sad smile playing on her face. How could Keith trust her? She had abandoned him once, how could he not expect her to do it again? She left him to live a lie. He wasn't part of the Shirogane family. Shiro wasn't his brother. The woman he had called mom his entire life was just a woman. Everything he knew about himself all came crumbling down in this moment.

"I understand that this is hard on you but-"

"I need a minute alone," Keith interrupted, looking her straight in the eyes. God, his chest was tightening wasn't it? Is his breathing getting shallower? "J-just to think this over."

The woman smiled softly. "Take all the time you need."

Once that was said he sprinted out the room and into the bedroom. He found Lance lay on the bed nonchalantly just doing something on his phone.

"Hey babe how'd the talk with-" Lance paused once he looked over the heavily-breathing, shaking figure of Keith. "Mierda, come here, shhh." Lance quickly rushed over to guide Keith to their bed, getting him comfortably sat down as fast as possible. "Okay, do you remember the breathing exercises?"

Keith shook his head.

"That's okay! I'll take you through them! Remember, in for three. One, two, three. Good! Now hold it, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Now let it out, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Okay, that's good, couple more times now alright?"

Lance lead Keith through the breathing exercises at least five more times until he felt more stable. He slowly lowered Keith down to lay on the bed, making sure his head was elevated. Keith felt Lance's hand tucking his hair behind his ear until it moved downwards to the pulse point on his neck. Lance didn't move for a moment, counting the beats. After a moment Lance finally moved his hand away.

"Okay, so I'm going to get you a glass of water and some food now, alright?" Lance moved to get up but then looked back at Keith. "Um, Krolia is probably still in the living room. Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

"Please," Keith breathed out. Lance looked at him before leaving the room. God, why did Keith have to be such a mess? Why did he have to freak out at every single thing that happened in his life

Why did he have to be like this?