Spock-watching was a fun activity, or so Jim insisted. McCoy didn’t get the appeal of watching the hobgoblin go about his daily life. But he could at least admit it was funny to see the newly hired ensign describing a minor injury to him in great detail, somehow mistaking his science blues for medical blues.
“Ensign.” Spock said calmly after the ensign finally tapered off their three minute description, “I’m a science officer, not a doctor.”
Christ, McCoy could feel the ecstatic laughter trying so hard to bubble from Jim’s chest. McCoy scowled at the blatant imitation, ignoring his own amusement. The ensign looked baffled, and Spock gave then a curt nod before directing them to Sickbay.
“Kill. Me. Now.” McCoy gritted out, pinching the bridge of his nose. Jim gripped his arm, looking like a child on Christmas morning.
“Don’t you start. I see the pride in your eyes.” Jim teased him gleefully, “You’re just as proud as I am of our boy!”
“Our boy?” McCoy snorted, “Our bo-What planet are you from?”
“Planet I Love Spock And Bones.” Jim grinned, “My boys.”
“You’re insane.” McCoy shook his head, “He’s insane. Why do I put up with you?”
“A question I find myself asking on a concerningly regular basis.” Spock appeared at Jim’s elbow like a shadow, “I have not yet deduced the answer.”
“You and me both.” McCoy rolled his eyes, “Nice phrasing there, Spock. Glad to see I’m having some positive influence.”
“On the contrary, I simply recalled how adverse people are to your presence, and employed your speech pattern in an attempt to repulse the ensign.” Spock said, the twinkle in his eyes invisible to anyone who didn’t know him. Jim poorly withheld his giggling.
“Why you-“ McCoy whirled around, “Listen here you prissy, green-blooded-“
“I will not, you red-blooded scoundrel.” Spock interrupted. Jim snorted and McCoy bristled. Spock was certainly having fun with this.
“You got a lot of nerve, you damned Tolkien reject!” McCoy hissed, refusing to admit he was also having fun. Jim watched with unbridled glee.
“I am unfamiliar with Tolkien, you strange goblin man.” Spock goaded, equally stubborn.
“Goblin man, like you even know what a goblin is, I’ll show you a-“
“They grow up so fast.” Jim mimed wiping a tear away, paling a little when both heads whipped his way in eerie sync.
“Jim.” McCoy said through gritted teeth, that look on his face that always sent Jim’s metaphorical tail scurrying between his legs, “Something funny?”
“Your illogical joy derived from even our most vicious arguments is a source of ongoing confusion for me.” Spock said, his own expression unreadable, “Perhaps you might explain it to me.”
“I just...” Jim gulped. McCoy raised an eyebrow.
“Spock, I think we should call a truce for now and focus on Jim.” he said, a slow smile spreading across his face. Jim nervously looked to Spock for assistance.
“I am inclined to agree with you, doctor.” Spock said, shattering his hope, “I have many questions.”
“You know, I think I hear Chekov calling me.” Jim said nervously, “I should go.”
“Nonsense.” McCoy took his arm. Jim openly gaped when Spock copied the movement with Jim’s other arm.
“Guys, I would love to spill all my dirty secrets to you, really, but-“
“Spock, did I mention that Jim skipped his physical again?” McCoy grinned. Jim cursed the day he met him.
“I believe that much-needed physical would be a perfect opportunity for him to explain himself.” Spock nodded. McCoy grinned widely, and he and Spock started ungently tugging Jim to Sickbay.
“You guys are terrifying when you’re in agreement.” Jim said miserably, fighting a losing battle against their combined might.
“If you are discomforted, imagine how your enemies will feel.” Spock said, earning a chuckle from McCoy.
“You have a devious mind, Spock.” McCoy laughed, “I’ll have to borrow it sometime.”
“You are welcome to.” Spock’s lips were slightly upturned, “If you’ll allow me to borrow your unpleasant mannerisms when required.”
“I can live with that.” McCoy gripped Jim’s arm tighter, “Hear that, Jim? The two of us are gonna be like peas in a pod.”
Jim groaned all the way to Sickbay.