“Stop twinkling at me.”
“I am not twinkling!”
“Yes you are, and it’s disgusting.”
Phil had been stealing glances at Dan for the past ten minutes. He thought he’d been being sneaky about it.
They’d had a lazy day, which actually were not as common as they liked to portray. They’d had no videos to film, no places to go, and besides Dan’s hour of exercise, had aggressively done nothing all day.
It was late, perhaps not by their old night owl standards, but they had been making an effort the past year to get their sleeping schedules normalized. This day was an anomaly, both of their self-care routines slightly neglected in favor of lounging about.
They’d only eaten dinner an hour ago, some generic stir fry from a bag, though Dan had poured them both wine in two of their fanciest glasses. He said they deserved it and Phil wasn’t one to argue.
They were sat on the sofa, watching a few episodes of some new Netflix original and sharing a bowl of popcorn. The flat was dark save for the light from the television and a large scented candle that Phil had lit earlier labelled simply “Holiday”. The smell of cinnamon and cloves was a tad too pungent, and Phil had meant to blow it out ages ago.
“You want something, don’t you.” Dan didn’t bother looking over.
“God Dan, you’re so paranoid.” Phil poked the side of Dan’s neck and smiled at the way Dan scrunched away. “Can’t I just appreciate my handsome boyfriend in peace?”
“I might believe you were innocently overwhelmed with your love for me if I didn’t know you better. I can sense when you’re up to some shit.”
There was a time when days like these were a source of stress for Phil. They had been the norm instead of a treat, and Phil had known it wasn’t good for Dan. He’d known, yet he hadn’t known what to do about it, or if he should even have done anything at all.
But nowadays, Phil was able to enjoy these days for what they were. As he sat cuddled under a blanket with the man he’d spent the past eight years loving, living a life together he still sometimes didn’t believe was his, he thought feeling a little sappy was justifiable.
But Dan read him too well. It wasn’t like he had an ulterior motive the entire day, but the feeling of contentment and fondness had started tempting his mind to other places. And maybe he was a bit bored of the show.
“I want you,” Phil breathed out in what he hoped was a seductive voice.
“You already have me,” Dan said, tossing a piece of popcorn in his mouth.
“Dan!” Phil hit Dan’s shoulder and his facade was broken, the bowl of popcorn shaking dangerously with his laughter.
“What’s gotten into you tonight?” Dan finally looked away from the television and properly regarded Phil.
Phil wasn’t sure what exactly he saw, but he imagined he was in quite a state. The slightest hint of a buzz still remained from the wine at dinner, and he’d been working himself up admiring Dan like a teenager with a secret crush.
“I told you, I’m just appreciating you.” Phil nuzzled his forehead against Dan’s shoulder. He half expected Dan to shrug him off and tease him some more, but he remained silent. He could feel Dan’s body slump as he relaxed into Phil.
“And…” Phil’s voice came quiet and muffled.
“Oh my god!” Dan broke into a laugh. “I knew it, you snake. What? What is it you’re trying to weasel out of me?”
Phil couldn’t help giggling a little too. He never laughed as much as he did when he was with Dan.
“I… thought we might try that thing? That I mentioned awhile back?”
For all the shit he had given Phil, it was almost unfair how quickly Dan’s expression shifted to something darker. Phil knew that Dan knew what he was referring to. Suddenly the atmosphere was a lot less playful.
“Tonight?” Dan asked.
“I mean, now’s as good a time as any, right?”
A smile blossomed on Dan’s face until his dimple was on full display. He didn’t say anything, and Phil abruptly felt embarrassed for what he was asking for.
“And it’s not like it’s something super new? If it doesn’t sound fun to you we don’t have to, we could do something else, we don’t have to do anything—”
“Phil,” Dan interrupted. “You don’t have to convince me. I was the one who got all excited about it, remember?”
“Oh,” Phil said. He smiled back at Dan. The flush he felt in his cheeks that he assumed was from the wine was burning now.
“We seriously need to shower first, though. We’re disgusting. And I’m not kissing you with garlic chicken breath.”
“This is why I insist I love you more.”
Dan shoved him off the couch and Phil fell laughing, always laughing.
“You go on, I’ll put out the sex towels,” Dan said.
“Please stop calling them sex towels.”
He thought the mundane intermission would put him out of the mood, but in a way, it just built anticipation.
The arbitrary amount of time they agreed on was one hour. Phil realized he made a grave mistake around twenty minutes in.
In hindsight, Phil wasn’t sure why he thought he’d be able to handle that long. Dan had been teasing him again, and he’d been feeling cocky.
Phil’s stamina was usually a source of pride. Now, he realized that he rarely had all the attention focused on himself.
He was laid out on their bed, naked and feeling completely exposed. It was cold in their bedroom, not unbearably so, but enough to give a bite. He wasn’t tied up, but he had his arms laced together above his head. He kept having to unclench his hands to keep his nails from digging in too deep.
He was miserable, and it wasn’t his fault his body was betraying him. His voice choked out a “close” or “gonna” every time he teetered alarmingly close to the edge. His arms stayed stubbornly above his head when he could easily reach down and get himself off.
The slick sound of Dan stroking him filled the room. He was going just how Phil liked it, making a mess with an overkill of lube, even teasing at Phil’s rim with his other hand.
Phil was squeezing his mouth shut, shaking his head back and forth, resisting the pleasure, because he knew what was coming next.
He heard the low rumble of Dan’s laugh as he increased the pace. Phil’s thighs began trembling, a gasp escaped his mouth, and Dan’s hand was gone.
It was hardly the first denial of the night, but it was the first time it had been so jarring. Phil bit his lip as he tried to keep any pathetic noises from slipping out.
He knew Dan wanted to see him whining and begging, and he refused to give him the satisfaction. At least not until Dan dragged it out of him.
“You’re so red. This really works you up, huh?”
Dan was smoothing his large hands over Phil’s torso. Normally it would have relaxed him, but now it just made him shudder, feeling both overstimulated and eager for more.
He felt like he’d been worn down to a singular mass of nerves, any place that Dan touched producing sparks of pleasure that they really had no right to.
Phil had to stop himself from sticking his tongue out at Dan or something equally as childish.
It was indescribably frustrating having Dan right there next to him, fully clothed and completely composed, while Phil desperately writhed around naked. And if it turned him on a little, nobody had to know.
He must have been glaring, as Dan laughed again and glided his hands up to tweak Phil’s nipples. Phil’s hips shot up sharply and this time he couldn’t prevent a breathy cry from escaping.
“Relax a little. Nothing you do can make this go any faster.” Dan pecked Phil’s cheek and he hated how he still felt a twinge of affection at the gesture.
For a few minutes Dan simply caressed him. He was tender, placing soft kisses up the side of Phil’s ribs, mussing up Phil’s hair and smiling down at him, gently stroking the area under Phil’s navel that he knew was sensitive.
It was almost enough to forget the torment Dan was subjecting him to.
“You’re cute when you’re angry,” Dan said as he began trailing a finger around the head of Phil’s cock. Phil pointedly ignored him and shut his eyes, trying to focus on the sensation as much as possible.
“I feel like I should remind you that you were the one that wanted to do this. Practically begged me, actually. I’m glad I can help you out.”
Dan started rubbing up and down Phil’s shaft with two fingers, and Phil wanted to cry. It felt good, but it wasn’t enough. Even if it was, Dan would stop before he got there.
Pleasure with no foreseeable peak was no different than torture.
Phil started rolling his hips against Dan. All it accomplished was Dan’s rhythm getting thrown off, and Phil groaned in irritation. His toes curled and his back arched and he tried to control his trembling to maintain some dignity.
“God, Phil. I’ve never seen you like this before.” Dan’s voice was low and hungry, any traces of teasing nowhere to be found. Phil felt a few goosebumps prickle up his arm.
Then Dan’s fingers were gone, and Phil was about to open his eyes when a wet heat engulfed him, a sensation he immediately recognized.
Dan didn’t hold back. He took Phil down deep and fast, pressing his tongue against the underside of Phil’s cock in the same way he’d been doing for years, a trick he discovered to drive Phil wild from only a couple times of exploring.
Phil’s mouth dropped open but no sound came out. There was no way he could last more than a minute like this, Dan had to know that, he must have taken pity on Phil, finally—
As quickly as it came, it was gone. His brain was reeling several steps behind his body, and he didn’t react for a few moments, confused why the pleasure had stopped.
He blinked his eyes open to find Dan grinning at him smugly.
The denial this time particularly frustrated Phil. He let out what even he could only call a whine, wildly bucking his hips up into midair. He only succeeded in making Dan laugh at him, seemingly delighted by his suffering.
“Sorry. That was cruel, I know.”
Phil took several minutes to calm back down. His pulse stopped throbbing in his ears and the shaking in his legs weakened.
He wasn’t aware of what Dan was doing, but as he came to his senses he felt him soothingly massaging his hips.
“What do you want?” Dan asked.
Phil didn’t answer. He couldn’t. He hated asking for things in bed. Even in this ridiculous situation, he was afraid of being selfish.
“You don’t have to be shy. It’s just me.”
Dan waited a few moments. When Phil didn’t respond, Dan poked at the spot on Phil’s ribs he always went for, the bastard. Phil yelped and jerked away.
“Dan!” he admonished with a giggle. Dan beamed at him, and Phil wanted to squirm away from the affection he could feel as clearly as if it was tangible.
Dan bent over and took one of Phil’s nipples in his mouth, and the tension was back immediately.
He tangled his hands in Dan’s fluffy curls, pulling him closer to his chest. He allowed himself to hold him for a few moments before forcing his arms back up, even though Dan hadn’t said anything about it.
“Dan…” Phil whispered.
He could feel himself losing control. Dan had edged him before, but it had never been this drawn out. He’d never been taken to the very brink of an orgasm only to have it snatched away, multiple times.
Dan kissed down his body until he was level with his hips. He dragged his nails up Phil’s thighs, surely leaving red marks in their wake.
Phil cried out as the feeling shot straight to his cock. Dan traced the path again with his tongue, and Phil whimpered and felt himself twitch against his stomach.
“What is it?” Dan asked. He collected the precome that had pooled on Phil’s stomach with his finger and brought it up to Phil’s mouth.
Phil hesitated for a moment before leaning forward and sucking on Dan’s finger, making sure to look Dan in the eye. He felt triumphant at the way Dan greedily took in the sight, the way he subtly dragged his teeth over his plump bottom lip.
Phil didn’t mind being vulnerable if it was with Dan. He liked it. He wanted to show Dan weakness, and to have Dan accept it and treasure it in return.
Spread helpless like this, Dan could do anything to him, but he chose to give Phil what he wanted.
“P-Please.” And Phil knew it was coming, it had been what they were working up to the whole night. When he’d finally put aside his insecurities, his pride, and allow himself to come undone.
“You’re so good for me. So obedient.”
Phil turned his face away in embarrassment. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to being complimented by Dan so directly.
“But I don’t know what you want unless you tell me, Phil.”
“I want to come,” Phil said, quiet but no longer sheepish.
“Yeah? Is that what you want? Had enough for tonight?” Dan’s voice was gentle, genuine.
Phil nodded in response.
“Okay. All you had to do was ask, you know.” The teasing was back again, because of course it was, that was Dan.
Dan squirted a little more lube and finally got his hand back on him. By all accounts there was nothing special about his technique, but the knowledge that he was finally going to come made Phil feel like he was in heaven.
Phil took an unexpected amount of time to work back up. He let his noises flow unhindered, his head arched back into the pillow and legs spread leisurely.
As he got closer he found himself babbling, telling Dan how good it felt and begging him not to stop, and he didn’t even feel embarrassed. Why would he need to?
Then it hit him, and all things considered, it was a much less violent affair than he imagined.
His pleasure built until he couldn’t contain it anymore, and this time it was allowed to overflow. The warmth that had enveloped his body intensified until it was searing, until Phil could feel it thrumming in the tips of his fingers.
For all Dan had been ruthless in the build up, he was merciful in the way he stroked Phil through it. Phil was making sounds he’d never made before, the payoff from Dan persistently chipping away at his inhibitions all night.
He didn’t know how long it had been before he found himself slowly drifting back down to Earth, grounded by the feeling of Dan’s fingers running through his hair.
“Wow,” Phil said. Dan burst into laughter, a bit too loud, like always.
“Wow,” he agreed.
“Did you—do you need—” Phil glanced down at Dan’s crotch. He was surprised to see that Dan was in only his boxers. He could have sworn he’d been fully clothed the whole time.
“You didn’t notice? I got myself off like halfway through. You really think I could handle that much?”
Phil pictured having a helpless Dan shaking and begging beneath him for nearly an hour. He realized Dan must have been much more affected than he let on.
“Besides, you grapefruit.” Dan flicked his earlobe. “You can’t even wait five minutes after a world-shattering orgasm before worrying about me?”
“World-shattering? Jesus Christ Dan, way to toot your own horn.”
“Well, am I wrong?”
Phil couldn’t find the energy to shrug, but he still had his voice. “Eh, I’d say adequate.”
Dan just shook his head and smiled. “I’m surprised you haven’t complained about feeling gross yet. I’ll get stuff, be right back.”
Dan bounded out of the bedroom. Phil laid watching, amused at Dan still having energy remaining. Phil felt like he wanted to sleep for the rest of his life.
Dan quickly came back with a warm dampened cloth and a glass of water. Phil sat up, scooting off the towels they had spread out, and drank it as Dan gingerly washed away the aftermath.
He threw the mess to the floor and crawled under the covers. Phil joined him shortly and shuffled closer.
Phil broke the silence. “We have to do that again sometime.”
“Oh my god, that was so fucking hot,” Dan gushed, sounding almost giddy.
“I should do it to you next time. I think you’d really like it.”
“We’d definitely have to tie me down though. I don’t know what kind of fucking superhuman self-control you have, ‘cause I would’ve snapped and pushed you over in five minutes, tops.”
And Phil couldn’t help the scene that briefly flashed though his mind. Of Dan trying to hold back, but failing, unable to handle the maddening frustration of it. Of him flipping the tables on Phil, pinning him down as he rode him or even fucked him, whatever Dan’s desperate brain desired.
“Yeah, that’d probably be a good idea.”
They fell back to a comfortable silence. Dan turned around and pressed back into Phil, his unspoken signal for Phil to spoon him. Phil gladly obliged.
Then Phil laughed, because he didn’t know what else to do. He laughed and smiled wide and hoped to convey to Dan how much he loved him. How grateful he was that Dan was there, sharing this life with him and all the experiences that came with it.
Maybe Phil was the type to get sentimental after a good orgasm.
“Oh my god, did I break you? I guess it was about time.”
Maybe Dan was the type to deflect affection, but he squeezed the hand that was resting on his midsection.
Phil would have snarked back, but pressed so close to Dan he was sure he could feel his heartbeat, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.