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thank god for girls

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For most of her life, the only positive relationship Rey had was between her and packets of powdered food. And, the closest thing to a guardian she had was Unkar Plutt, but she would call him more of a shitty acquaintance who had half-starved her for a large part of her life than anything close to a guardian.

Ever since she had picked up the ball of trouble that was B.B.-8, her life had been a whirlwind, and while her abandonment complex and issues with authority ran rampant inside of her, her sudden abundance of friends intent on loving her made her feel things she didn’t even have names for. Suddenly her life was full of people who wanted to be around her, and Rey wasn’t quite sure how to cope. As far as she could tell, Finn and Poe and all the rest didn’t like her because she was a good scavenger or because she had something they wanted. They enjoyed her company, just because she was Rey—and they liked Rey.


Finn, in all his wide-grinning wonder, was just the same. Together, the scavenger and the stormtrooper discovered just how amazing a hug felt when the person giving it had no ulterior motive beyond wanting personal comfort. They discovered home cooked meals, warm beds, and the wry smiles of people who loved them. Rey discovered waking up with a full belly, and Finn discovered waking up slowly in the morning, safe and happy.

Rey also discovered girls.

Somewhere between blowing up Starkiller Base and dragging Luke’s old Jedi ass back from obscurity, Rey discovered that Jess’s eyes had gold flecks amongst the green and she learned that she liked how Rose’s arm muscle bulge when she rolls up the sleeves of her jumpsuit.
Most people just took Rey’s wide-eyed stares for what they were—wonder, curiosity.


But Luke saw, and he remembered being a young boy from Tatooine, watching Han Solo negotiate with Old Ben Kenobi across that dirty cantina table. He remembered being a pilot, basking in the glow of Wedge in his jumpsuit grinning from across the hangar.
He had muddled his way through it all well enough, but he figured, he was Rey’s master now, and once upon a time the Jedi order had fallen, just because one man wasn’t taught how to process his feelings.


He found Rey attempting to meditate in a patch of sunlight outside the hangar. Her eyes were scrunched tight, and her face looked as if she were mentally berating herself. A moment later, her eyes opened, and strayed over to where Jess was doing some X-Wing maintenance. Luke laughed, an abrupt snort that made Rey jump and guiltily squeeze her eyes shut, as if she could trick Luke into thinking she was meditating. If her prior actions hadn’t given her away, the her roiling emotions in the force surely did.  He walked over to his padawan, settling next to her on the ground, and for several minutes they sat in silence. Luke sat there, legs loosely crossed and  eyes closed, feeling Rey beside him, wrapped in a cocoon of confusion and rampaging emotions. She kept her eyes closed though, and her breathing even, and eventually he felt as she reached out through the force.

She calmed down, and her presence in the force became more stable. For a moment, Luke thought she had slipped into a proper meditative state, but then he felt her shift beside him.

Cracking an eye open, he saw her watching him.

“Luke?” Her voice was quiet, almost tremulous. He turned fully towards her, waiting. He remembered what she had told him, when she had swooped onto Acho-To, riding the high of the resistance’s win at Starkiller Base, pride and confusion warring within her, rife with the force.

She had been sitting in front of him, eyes blown wide with the power inside her, and said, “Something inside me has always been there, but now it’s awake, and I need help.”

Of course, at the time, she had been talking about the force’s pull within her, but you didn’t get to his age without recognizing what an identity crisis looked like.

She turned to him then, eyes earnest, and asked, “What are these feelings?”

And that hit Luke like a punch in the gut, because, this young girl in front of him, with her wide, trusting eyes, had never had the luxury to have a simple crush, to experience love or lust or anything besides run-eat-survive-sleep-repeat. And now it was hitting her all at once.

He could feel it through the force--the lust, the warmth, the tangle of emotions.

“Rey, listen to me, a long time ago, when the Jedi order was at its height, the doctrine denied any and all personal attachment. That’s what led to the orders downfall.”

“You’ve mentioned it, once or twice.” Rey told him, her voice dry.

He shot her a look and continued, “I honor the jedi, and I believe in the doctrine of the force, but , to deny emotional attachments is to deny your own reason for being. It’s a hollow life.”

“So, you’ve--?”

Luke nodded, a twinkle in his eyes, “You met Han…”

Rey blushed, but let out a snort of laughter at the image Luke with teenage crush on a blustering Han Solo.

“So, what do I do?” She asked, her eyes straying back to Jess who had wrapped the top of her jumpsuit around her waist, sweat glistening on her defined arms as she wiped down the windows of her cockpit.

Luke regarded his padawan and then followed her eyesight to the pilot.

He shrugged, “Go talk to her. That’s always a good place to start. You’ll find that the members of the resistance are open to all kinds. Not all places are quite so lucky.”

Rey, who had never had time to even consider romance before, hadn’t even considered that certain relationships might be taboo in other parts of the galaxy.

Luke saw the look on Rey’s face and reassured her, “Don’t worry, the first time Leia caught Wedge and I in his bunk, she gathered everyone for one of her famous base seminars. It was literally just her yelling lovingly at everyone that we are all valid while some med droids chucked condoms and birth control at everyone.”

That made Rey laugh, the worry lines melting from her face.

Luke patted her on the leg, and then heaved himself back to his feet.

“Good luck,” he said with a wink and then wandered off to go annoy Leia.

Rey eventually got up, dusting her hands off on her tunic, before wandering towards Jess. She had fought Kylo Ren, helped destroy an entire First Order base, and managed to convince the Luke Skywalker that he should end his personal exile and rejoin the rebels.

 

How hard could talking to a girl be?