Chapter Text
Jamie won the Scottish Schools Championship.
The palms of my hands stung from clapping so hard, my ribs were close to cracking under the forceful pounding of my heart, and my throat felt hoarse from the cheering I had done over the course of Jamie’s race.
I saw his fingertips touch the wall just milliseconds before Christie’s. He had won and I knew it.
He was still in the pool, pulling off his cap and goggles, his eyes turning up with the rest of the crowd’s. All eyes were fixed at the official time board, waiting for the final results to populate. Except for mine. Mine were on Jamie.
I was waiting for that moment when he’d know he had won. Waiting to see every little detail of his face change, the furrowed brow to disappear, the smile I loved so much to transform his eyes in to two happy slits.
The results popped up with Jamie’s name at the very top. In an instant, a smile spread across his face, making the stress of the weeks leading up to the race disappear. It was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen. Bringing his fist down into the water in a triumphant splash, he turned himself to look up into the thrall of spectators. He knew exactly where I was and met my eyes, to share his hard-won victory with a grin that was directed only to me.
Jamie stood higher than everyone on the pedestal, and that meant two things. First, that he got to shake Christie’s hand like the bigger man that he was, congratulating him on the silver medal finish – while basking in his victorious glow, his grin impossibly wide. Second, that he had to fulfill his promise and dance for me.
On our way home, between tight hugs and excited kisses, Jamie told me that he was a man of his word and he hadn’t forgotten his promise. Not that I would let him do so, even if he tried.
The problem was that I had demanded a proper dance, not quick moves that could be easily done in the middle of the street. For Jamie to fulfill my request, we needed an empty house, time alone, and a little funk. Given that Murtagh, Ian, and Jenny were at his place and uncle Lamb at mine, I began to think that our mission would prove impossible.
I had almost forgotten all about it, when, a week later, Lamb told me that he’d be going to Oxford for two days, the following Thursday and Friday, because he was invited to give two lectures. Trying not to choke on my own tongue, I continued spreading butter on my toast, nodding to him, pretending that his plans were of no concern to me at all. On the inside though, I was doing my happy dance while screaming like a loon.
Thursday. Think, Claire think. What’s on Jamie’s schedule?
Damn, he has an afternoon session.
Friday, then. Friday…
It took me a few moments to squeeze my brain and remember Jamie’s schedule in my excitement. He had a morning session on Friday! With a barely suppressed grin I filled my mouth with half a scone, chewing with difficulty while watching Lamb from the corner of my eye. He was reading the morning paper, paying no attention to me, but he was humming a cheery tune.
At least he’s not singing one of those songs from the fifties this time.
Humming or not, I couldn’t worry about Lamb at that moment. There was only one thought racing through my mind, creating a strange current that ran through my body and made my fingers restlessly rub against the fabric of my shirt, my leg bouncing wildly.
Jamie and I, finally alone… inside! I loved our walks – we both did – but it would be really nice for once to be with each other without layers of clothing, runny noses and freezing limbs.
–
“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow, Sassenach?” Jamie asked, his hand resting on the small of my back as we walked home, the Edinburgh sun already running towards America, leaving stray rays behind to be lost somewhere above the dark Scottish clouds.
It would rain – again. How rare.
I couldn’t care less.
I shot him a wide smile before answering. “Well, I was thinking we could skip lunch and go home together right after our last class, cook something fast and then have the whole day to ourselves… Lamb isn’t due home until after 10 PM, so we’ll have plenty of time to spend together… doing stuff…” I finished lamely, moving towards the crosswalk button. “What do you think?” I asked, focusing my gaze on the lights.
It sounded like the perfect plan, but would he think so as well?
“Sounds great, Sassenach.” Jamie smirked and took a deep breath before pulling me to him for a slow, promising kiss.
“You still owe me that dance, you know,” I said in an attempt to distract myself from the crazy beating of my heart.
“Do I?” he asked with raised eyebrows. I narrowed my eyes at him and he continued, squeezing me between his arms and chest, “I’ll tell Murtagh today.”
Thursday evening turned out to be a long one. I couldn’t concentrate enough to study, couldn’t find any interesting movies to watch, and the apartment felt way too empty. I couldn’t stop thinking that Jamie would walk into my house in less than twenty-four hours. Cook in my kitchen, sit on my couch, curl up on my bed.
I laid down on that same bed and closed my eyes, imagining his smile as he pulled me to his arms.
Tomorrow, I thought, taking a deep breath, willing sleep to come.
On Friday, school was over before I knew it. I’d been absent-mindedly listening to the teachers, their words no more than white noise as I thought of the rest of my day with Jamie. We hadn’t planned anything, leaving the schedule open to do as we’d see fit.
Just the two of us together would be enough.
When the last bell rang, I found Jamie waiting for me next to the school gates. Our matching grins were the only thing visible between our scarves and beanies as we walked home, our gloved hands easily intertwining, knowing that they would soon touch the skin they craved for.
We finally had a place all for ourselves.
We crossed the threshold with giddy smiles. When I closed the apartment door behind me, locking it twice, I felt Jamie’s hands snaking under the hem of my coat, fingers splaying across my ribs to find purchase on my waist, pulling my back level to his chest. He breathed in deeply, tucking his face into my curls, lowering his head until his lips found the part of my neck that was left uncovered by my scarf, sucking it lightly. A groan came from his throat, accompanied by a loud growl from his stomach and I laughed, turning around to capture his lips in mine.
“We better feed the beast,” I said, pinching him.
Jamie laughed too, a sound that made a current run through me every single time. “Aye, let’s do that first, Sassenach.”
“First?” I asked, removing my scarf and coat.
“First.” He confirmed, mirroring my moves with a lopsided smile.
We cooked pasta with a pesto sauce and set the kitchen table with only what was absolutely necessary. We talked about how our life would be in Oxford, how incredible it would be to be able to do simple things like prepare and eat a meal together whenever we wanted. Jamie insisted he’d be the one to cook, shamelessly declaring that I would be an awful chef, just because I forgot to add salt while boiling the water for the pasta – which was my only duty. I claimed that I did it on purpose, knowing how bad salt was for our health, and shrugged off his comment about me eating his salted chips all the time. When our plates got emptied we cleaned up together, a real team, and then cuddled on the sofa with my laptop in front of us, pretending we were searching for a new show to start watching on Netflix.
What a joke.
We ended up kissing in less than five minutes. In less than ten, I had removed his sweater and was straddling him, unable to stop the pull between us.
And then I remembered.
“Hey…” I said, breaking our kiss. “You owe me! Don’t try and distract me with those seductive lips of yours.”
“I didn’t intend to, Sassenach.” He chuckled, but brought my mouth back on his, biting lightly before running his tongue over my bottom lip. “It’s just this pesto sauce… It’s delicious.”
“There is no pesto sauce there!” I exclaimed, moving away and brushing my mouth with the back of my hand.
“Aye, there is,” he smiled. “Ye also have a bit more here,” he kissed my chin, “and here,” he moved onto my neck, running his tongue all along, “and here…”
With a moan, I resisted the urge to throw my head back and let him continue. “You. Human wet wipe.” I said, trying not to chuckle, winding my fingers between his curls and pulling lightly. “My dance. Up you go. Now.”
With a final hard kiss, I left his lap and turned to my laptop to find the song.
Uptown funk.
“I hope ye’re ready for this, Sassenach,” Jamie said, standing up.
“Oh yeah.” I smiled to him. “Believe me, James Fraser, when I say that I am.”
Jamie was up and standing in the middle of the living room when I found the video on YouTube. “I meant to find you a pink jacket and a hat,” I pursed my lips, thinking. “But I guess it’s too late now.”
“Oh aye. Too bad we didn’t think of it earlier.” He shook his head with a grimace, running a hand through his hair.
He was wearing blue jeans and a black shirt, his sweater still on the floor from our previous activities.
“Ready?”
“Wait,” he said and moved towards the liquor cabinet. With a look back at me he grabbed the Dalwhinnie and a glass. He took a large gulp. And a second. “Aye,” he said, turning to look at me. “Start the damned thing.”
I pushed play.
The beat filled the air and his leg immediately started bouncing. The rest of his body followed a few moments later, and he licked his lips, looking at me intently.
He was doing it, the stubborn Scot!
A small smile formed on his lips, bringing with it a mischief, a glint in his eyes that I knew all too well.
The moment Bruno Mars started singing Jamie walked to me and stopped two feet away, his body in perfect sync with the tone. He moved his weight from foot to foot, running his hands on his chest, playfully pulling the hem of his tee upwards.
The tease.
He walked backwards, never breaking eye contact, his shoulders and hands coloring the air around him with every move, making me wonder how could such a tall muscled man dance that well.
I was in awe, looking at him dancing that ridiculous song with lyrics saying,
Stylin’, wilin’, livin’ it up in the city
Got Chucks on with Saint Laurent
And being sexy as hell.
My focus was on his flexed biceps when he pulled me out of my trance, kissing himself on the shoulder and batting his eyelashes when we heard,
Gotta kiss myself, I’m so pretty
I started laughing then, sitting cross legged on the sofa, waiting for more of what had to be the funniest sexy spectacle ever.
God, this was one of my best ever ideas.
He was relaxed and confident – smug even. The way he cocked his eyebrow, the light bite of his lips, the hands roaming on his body… He knew he was good and he knew that I wanted him.
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Called a police and a fireman
The tee shirt was gone. His eyes were darker, his smile sly. A carnivore ready to attack.
I’m too hot
“Hot damn,” I whispered.
Make a dragon wanna retire man
He did a hip roll. Shirtless, dry and all mine. Bloody Fraser, with his swimmer’s body. And I was a sucker for those hip bones.
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Say my name you know who I am
I’m too hot (hot damn)
Am I bad ‘bout that money, break it down
“Jamie Fraser.” I said, straining to get my voice louder than the music. My throat felt so dry that I thought I could hardly speak. “Come here. Now.” My tone made clear that I wouldn’t take no for an answer, but I also beckoned him with my index finger, swallowing with effort.
“The song isna finished, Sassenach.” He didn’t dance now, his eyes fixed on mine, his voice barely audible over the song.
“I know,” I said untangling my legs to stand up, but he was on me in mere seconds, pinning me down and taking my lips in his with the same thirst I felt.
“God,” he whispered, his hands finding the hem of my shirt. “I dinna think I could do this much longer, seeing ye look at me wi’ those eyes, biting yer lip still wet from my kisses.”
“You seemed pretty comfortable up there,” I whispered, biting his neck softly.
“I’m never more comfortable than when I have ye in my arms.” He said it quickly, with a single breath, his hand running up along my rib cage. His fingers trailed on my clavicle before moving to my back, searching for the clasp of my bra. It was a perfect, purple lace bra that he didn’t give a second glance, removing it in a heartbeat.
“That was fast,” I said with a raised eyebrow.
“Training helps, Sassenach,” he replied, making the owlish grimace he did instead of winking.
Once the bra was off, he cupped a breast with one hand and lowered his head to the other, taking my nipple in his mouth.
His tongue on me, the feel of his teeth, the way he was sucking. I lost time and place, arching towards him, opening my legs to get him between them, aching for more.
“Jamie,” I gasped at last. “Let’s go to bed.”
He raised his head and looked at me, a million questions reflected in his eyes. I nodded silently, giving him a timid smile. Making him know that I meant it.
“Are ye sure, mo ghraidh?”
“Yes. I’m sure. I’m surer than I’ll ever be.”
I rose and took his hand in mine, leading him to my room. His fingers pressed lightly against mine and I stopped before I opened the door, turning to see him. His eyes were a clear blue, bright and sure, his hair ruffled from my hands, his bare chest heaving.
I could hear my heart beating. I could count each pulse that echoed in my ears and yet, I felt calm. Certainty provides a serenity, the conviction that all is right and well.
Jamie held me close when we entered my room and kissed me slowly and languidly, with our hands still tightly entwined, my breast flush to his chest. When the oxygen in my lungs reached terribly low levels, I moved away, just barely, afraid that if I increased our distance I would breath too much fresh air. I didn’t want fresh air – I wanted to share his breath. It was intoxicating. We kept looking at each other for a good while before he started walking me backwards, guiding me with slow steps until my knees buckled against the mattress. He held me tight and without losing eye contact, he tenderly lowered me on the bed.
His eyes were soft; loving. I knew those eyes - the way they melted into mine, sharing a part of his soul. This would be the last barrier.
I didn’t need walls with Jamie to feel protected. He was my wall. He kept me safe. I had nothing to hide, nothing to prove, nothing to change. I wanted to give him everything I was and take him in return, sharing all the threads I had – my heart, my soul, my body – to knot them with his, creating that special bond that would make us one.
Linked. Connected. Inseparable.
I wanted – I needed – to feel him, all of him and to give the gift back.
Jamie smiled as he kneeled in front of me, his mouth moving in a silent whisper that I couldn’t quite grasp. “Ye’re so beautiful, Claire.” He said louder, his eyes glistening.
Jamie rarely used my name. I had almost forgotten how he rolled the r, the sound flowing around me, rumbling like the water approaching the waterfall.
Claire. My identity. Not who I was to him, not his love or his Sassenach, but who I was to myself – to the world. A declaration that he wanted me, exactly for the person I was.
Not that I didn’t know that already.
His eyes sparkled with excitement and softened with love as he leaned towards me to take my lips in his. I wanted to just feel, to be present in our moment, and closed my eyes, pushing every thought away. I focused on the way his tongue found mine, the hunger with which his wide mouth trapped my lips, the tender skin my teeth found when I bit him. My heart started beating at double speed, both from anticipation and from anxiety.
Calm down, Claire. Calm down. It’s going to be okay.
Jamie, ever the mind reader, broke our kiss placing both palms on my face, cupping my cheeks.
“Mo chridhe…” He said, placing a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Dinna be afraid. There’s the two of us now.”
The two of us.
I nodded. He was Jamie. My sweet, loving, caring, strong and beautiful Jamie. There was no one else I’d ever want to do this more than him.
His lips found mine again, a kiss that lasted only for a few seconds, before his tongue made its way down along my neck. Jamie placed a soft kiss on the hollow between my collar bones, before moving down to my chest. His touch rose goosebumps on its wake, his tongue leaving wet, silvery trails on my soft skin. I could see each rise and fall of his chest as he licked me, each movement mirroring mine. One hand cupped my breast while the other was holding me from the waist and I felt his tongue flicking on my nipple. His breath was cool, each of his exhales meeting my the erect skin, making me want more.
“Aye…” I heard him saying. “Moan for me, my Sassenach.”
I had no idea that I had moaned. In fact, I was sure I didn’t.
Bringing his attention to my other nipple, his weight brought me slowly lying on the bed. His fingers ghosted my rib cage, moving towards the hem of my jeans. My breath was fast and shallow and all I wanted was to be naked, under him. He deftly unbuttoned my jeans and leaving my breast momentarily, he took them off with both hands.
I saw him swallow hard before opening his mouth to speak. “Sassenach,” it was a mere whisper leaving his lips. “I need to taste you.”
I haven’t ever been so wet ever again in my life.
Jamie lowered himself between my legs as he spread them open with certain hands, kissing the inside of my thigh, just above the knee. With small nibbles and licks, he made his way upwards, driving me mad all the while, my legs opening wide in their own accord, my core throbbing.
“Oh Claire.” He said in reverence, before I felt his tongue tracing the lace of my purple panties. He removed them deftly and his warm tongue found me, aching with need. My sigh met his and I got lost in the sensation, his tongue on my clit, brushing lightly against it, tasting the evidence of the effect he had on me. He kept one arm under my thigh, his palm open, and I knew he was only waiting to feel my fingers link with his. My other hand was lost in his curls, messy and disheveled from his moves, pulling and pushing him towards me. When he slipped a finger inside me, I couldn’t stop a loud whimper leaving my mouth.
He groaned and stopped then, momentarily. “I love yer wee sounds, Sassenach. Make more for me.” And he was instantly on me again, until I could hear myself loud in the room and couldn’t deny that I made noises anymore.
“Come here.” I said in a hoarse voice, when I found that I could speak again, and pulled him up by his hair, needing his lips to find mine. My fingers lingered on his chest, the well-formed abs, the V line drawn by his hip bones – that I couldn’t take my eyes off before. They finally reached the waistband of his button fly jeans, and I fumbled, finding it too difficult to pop them all open.
“Let me help ye there.” Jamie said, removing his jeans and boxers in a swift move.
He came back to me, his face hovering over mine, waiting for a signal from me to move.
“Come to me.” I said, my hand cupping his cheek, my eyes lost in his.
I felt so loved at that moment, so desired, my heart overflowing, that I didn’t think I could take any more feelings.
“Are ye sure, Claire? We can still stop.” Jamie hesitated uncertainty swirling in his eyes.
“Do you want us to stop?” I asked, even though I could feel the answer to that question, bold against my thigh.
“God no.” Jamie whispered, confirming the obvious.
“Me neither.”
Jamie kissed me again, starting soft and becoming more passionate as my hand ran down on his body, finding his cock and stroking him slowly.
He broke our kiss and reached for his jeans, grabbing a condom from his pocket.
“Show me how.” I said and sat up when his hands placed the condom on the tip of his cock. He stopped and took my hand in his, to guide me.
I rolled it on his cock, two fingers keeping the front part pinched and heard him groan, a deep sound coming from his chest.
With a hand behind his nape I lay back and guided him on top of me. He took his cock in his hand and lowered his head to kiss me. He slowly entered me. I stiffened, and he stilled at once.
“D’ye want me to stop, babe?” His voice was worried, his eyes shadowed.
“No.” I shook my head, smiling at him.
It would be just the once, and this had to be done. It wouldn’t hurt after that.
The frown didn’t leave his face as he went on, stretching me inch by inch. I pulled him down on me and buried my face on his neck, to prevent him from seeing the tell-tale look in my eyes. He resisted, trying to re-establish eye contact, but my hand in his hair made my intention obvious. I nibbled his neck in encouragement and he continued.
I felt him sigh when he was fully inside me, feeling me tight around his cock, and he stayed still for a few moments, our breaths the only sound in the room.
He moved then, slowly pulling out and pushing again inside me, carefully, tenderly.
“Are you alright, babe?” He whispered in my ear and I could only answer with a vague “Mmm.. Don’t stop.” I was sure he heard the pain in it, but I really didn’t want him to stop.
I could feel his arms tense, ready to push against the mattress and increase our distance. “Don’t stop.” I repeated, and kissed him softly on the neck, sucking the smooth skin.
He didn’t. I felt the hard length of him stretching me again as he pushed inside, and then once more before he stiffened, his cock pulsing inside me. “Oh god, oh god, oh god,” he mumbled, his muscles shaking under my fingers. “I canna, Claire, I’m sorry, I canna, I’m sorry.”
And he fell on top of me, burying his face in the crook of my neck.
It took a minute for his breathing to calm. He was still inside me when he rose his head to look at me, the elation in his eyes was battling with something else, something that made his eyebrows furrow and his lips form a thin line.
“I’m sorry, mo chridhe. I didna want to… I mean I wanted to but no too… I couldna… I’m so sorry, Claire. I – ”
When I thought that I had enough of his incessant rumbling, I pushed a finger on his mouth, trapping the rest of his words inside. I moved slowly then, running my tongue on the thin lips, searching for the kiss I knew he was hiding for me.
“You’re a fool, Jamie Fraser,” I said with a smile. “You don’t need to be sorry for anything.”
“Aye, I do. That was embarrassing.”
“Embarrassing? To whom? To me?” I asked incredulous, raising both eyebrows. “Aren’t we one?”
“We are,” he whispered.
“There is nothing you can do with me that will be embarrassing.”
“I should last – ”
“Stop the bullshit and kiss me.” I ran my hand through the fierce red hair, bringing his lips on mine again.
“What was it? Two thrusts?” He said, shaking his head but cracking a smile. “And even after… you know.”
I knew. I had found him in the school showers just before we left. “This plan didn’t work out as well as you thought it would, right? But I believe it was three? Thrusts, I mean. Doesn’t the first one count as well?”
That was it. Our laughter filled the room and vibrated through the walls, pushing away all inhibitions and insecurities, leaving us again as we always were.
The two of us.
“Did you… like it?” I asked once we quietened down again, looking at him under my eyelashes.
“Are ye kidding me, Claire?” he asked, incredulous, but didn’t reply to my question until his index finger got under my chin, making me face him. “Wasn’t that obvious?”
I shrugged, somehow insecure, wanting to hear his voice saying the words out loud.
“Aye, I liked it verra much, mo ghraidh. To feel ye around me like this, to share my body wi’ ye and take yers in response… Twas better than I ever dreamed.” He kissed me then, an unhurried touch that punctuated every word that had just left his mouth. “Give me a moment, aye? I’ll be right back.” With another kiss, light and quick, Jamie rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom. I kept looking at his glorious ass until he disappeared and then closed my eyes and sighed with a silly smile on my face.
The mattress of my bed subsided at his weight just a moment before his musky scent filled my nostrils. I opened my eyes to see him crawling to me, a mischievous grin on his face. The moment my hands found the locks of his hair, Jamie let out a growl that made me laugh, and bit my lips.
“Where were we?” He asked, slowly moving his lips to my jawline and then back on my mouth. I kissed him back, pushing my teeth on his bottom lip, feeling his thumb playfully flickering over my nipple.
I heard my moan and felt his rumble coming in response.
Jamie moved his hand from my breast to my stomach and then between my legs, exhaling a single word, “Dhia…”
I knew I was wet. I could hear it as his fingers moved inside me and the only thing I could think was that I needed to feel him again. His cock was half-ready when I took it in my hand to stroke him.
He put the condom on alone this time. We both sensed the same need to be fast, as if a few more seconds of waiting would be too much for us to bear.
Jamie entered me carefully, the restraint obvious in his body and his eyes. Not to hurt me, wanting it to be enjoyable for me this time.
“It’s okay,” I reassured him, cupping his cheek. Jamie didn’t move inside me, just turned his head to kiss my open palm.
“I just don’t want to hurt you, no more than I already did.”
“You didn’t hurt me.” To make my point clear, I moved my hips towards him.
“Och, like this, is it?” Jamie’s lopsided smile made my heart flutter. I looked at him smugly and opened my legs a little more.
He pulled out and moved inside me again, another groan leaving his lips. This time it wasn’t painful, but it wasn’t pleasurable either. At least at the beginning. Closing my eyes, I focused on Jamie’s breath, on our bodies moving together, on the filling sensation between my legs.
I relaxed.
I crossed my legs around his waist, freeing my body to meet his on every thrust, and we moved in sync echoing our hearts that beat with the same drumming rhythm.
Opening my eyes again, I found his face level with mine, his slanted eyes searching, questioning. I licked my upper lip and kissed him, both of us moaning at how good it felt, and he knew this was my answer to his silent question. I swallowed his smile and his moan as his thrusts became faster, reassured that I was there with him, wanting him as much as he wanted me. His arms were strong around me and I ran my fingers on his back, grazing the soft skin with my fingernails.
“Oh Claire,” he whispered, his breaths heavy and shallow. “What ye’re doing to me.”
Jamie lowered himself to kiss me again, but I couldn’t concentrate on his lips anymore. My head fell back and I focused on the million shivers that ran through my body as he was filling me, his hand now teasing my aroused nipple as his lips reached once more to frantically claim mine.
My hands gripped his arse, making him groan in my mouth, and I tasted his upper lip, salty with sweat and alluring, making me crave more. I could hear the sounds of our joint arousal and that made me ferocious.
“Claire please, I- I canna hold myself anymore.” Jamie gasped and I pushed his buttocks forcefully towards me.
“Then don’t.” I said with conviction, and then, more hesitantly, “Please, touch me.”
“Oh God.” He whispered, moving his hand where we were linked, his thumb rubbing my clit. “Oh, Claire.”
I felt the tension leaving him as he was thrusting once, then twice again and he fell on me, the feel of his finger together with his release making my core clamp on him, squeezing him, feeling him more.
I closed my eyes and got lost in the sensation, that pulsing, euphoric feeling that made me powerful and week at the same moment.
When I opened my eyes I saw Jamie looking at me, a soft smile tugging up the corners of his lips. Bending his head, he kissed my forehead, my nose, my cheekbones, my chin. Finally, he took my lips in his, whispering in my mouth. “I love ye, Claire.”
“I love you too, Jamie.” I said, thinking that I couldn’t ask for anything more in my life.
With another kiss he moved to his side, draping an arm across my waist to pull me towards him. His fingers traced light circles on my back, as he asked, “Are you alright, mo ghraidh?”
“Perfect. You?”
Jamie lay on his back and I moved with him to lay my head on his chest. His words vibrated through his body and into my ears when he spoke again. “Perfect is a word too small to describe how I feel, Sassenach. I think my heart is gonna burst.”
This was the moment that mine almost did. From love, happiness, or desire – I couldn’t tell, but I wondered if our hearts were designed to keep a certain amount of feelings and mine was just too full.
Only that it didn’t burst. It kept growing to enfold more of him, more of us. More of this life, beautiful and sweet and kind as it was.
With our inflated hearts, we were invincible.
With love, we became immortal.
