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Ergo Proxy Award Show

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The curtains pull up and the spotlight focuses on the host.

MCQ: Alright don't we have a special show for you tonight, folks! You wanted it, so you got it! I'm your host, MCQ, and welcome to the Ergo Proxy Award Show! Now, let's get ready to QQQQQQQQ!"

The cast of Ergo Proxy sits in a row upon the stage. Hundreds of fans are in the studio audience and thousands of viewers are tuned in at home.

MCQ: Alright, let's give a warm welcome to our lovely cast; here's Vincent Law, the lost wanderer turned god, Re-l Mayer our beautiful detective, Pino the girl with the smile, Proxy One our champion and my good friend, Monad or is it Real? Who knows, Iggy everyone's favorite robot, Raul Creed the sexy creep, Daedalus Yumeno mad scientist, And Kristiva.... who is also here."

The audience applauses and cheers. Some have snuck in signs. There's so many to read: "Re-l be my waifu",  "Vincent don't 4get me" "Raul plz come over" "Pino teach me piano" and "Daedalus sucks". Just to name a few.

MCQ: See, the crowd loves you guys. So beautiful. Alright, let's get this show on the road. So, how are you guys feeling tonight? Vincent long time, no see.
Vincent: Uhh, yeah I'm fine. Just nervous.

Re-l: I can't believe they convinced me to come.

Pino: Pino is having fun!

Iggy: Re-l, don't pout. Don't you want to look good for the camera?

Raul: Pino, don't touch that!

Daedalus: Real, come sit by me.

Monad/Real: Vincent, do you want come with me t..

Proxy One: Monad, no. Stop trying to make Vincent kill himself.

Vincent: Ugh, no, I kinda thought I..

Re-L: If he's going with anyone, it's going to be with me!

MCG: Alright... let's move on to the awards. But first we have these messages. Don't go anywhere folks!

Commercial break:
A screen plays actresses modeling cat ear accessories.

"Are you a cute girl who wishes they were a cat? Then look no further. Re-l neko ears are here! You too could be a Re-l Mayer and get all the boy's attention. Order yours today!"

MCQ: Welcome back to The Ergo Proxy Award Show! First award we have here..

Audience member: Hey, I thought this was a Phantom of the Opera play. When's the show going to start?

MCQ: A play? Where did that idea come from?

Audience member: Uhh the big poster outside with the dude in the white mask, duh.

MQC: Our first award is The Best Stylist Award. No one else can do Re-l's hair just right. That's right, it's Iggy!

Iggy: Wow, Re-l, look at this trophy. I'm going to keep it right next my portrait of you.

Re-l: Congratulations, Iggy. Hey everyone, he also found this outfit for me.

Vincent and Daedalus: Thank you, Iggy!

MCQ: Hey, Iggy, why not help Vincent out with his hair?

MCQ: This next one is the Best Ship Award, and boy oh boy did they win by a landslide. It's Raul and Daedalus! You guys really did bring in the fan girls! The sexual tension between you two was hot! Hot! Hot!

Daedalus: That's absurd! Nothing happened. Tell them, Raul.

Raul: Exactly, babe.
*wipes drool from mouth*

MCQ: Alright, it's time for the audience question. You there, lady with the yellow scarf.

Lady: My question is for everyone. What the hell did it all mean? I'm confused.

Proxy One: Well, you see, this was all my plan from the beginning. Even before the show started. First, I...

*everyone falls asleep for 20 minutes*

Proxy One: ...And that's how I got back at the Creaters.

MCQ: Alright, don't go anywhere. We'll be right back.

Commercial break:
Sad music begins to play.

"If you or someone you know has been a victim of assault. You are not alone. Please call our helpline at 1-800-saveme. Thats 1-800-saveme."

Daedalus: *takes out notepad and writes down number*

MCQ: Welcome back! This next reward is our Kink Award and it go to the only masochist we have here. Of course, it's Vincent Law!

Vincent: Oh, thanks. I've never won any awards before.

Monad: Vincent, you don't have to take her abuse. Come with me.

Re-L: That's enough! I've had it with this imposter.
*pulls out FP pistol from handbag*

Daedalus: Don't you dare!

MCQ: One, aren't you going to do anything about Monad leaving you for Vincent?

Proxy One: Naw. Been there, done that.

Vincent: Hey now, Re-l, calm down.

Audience member #2: Shut up, Gaara!

MCG: And that brings us to our next award. Congratulations  Daedalus Yumeno. You win the Friendzone Trophy. Only you could get rejected by two Re-l's at once.

Daedalus: Why does she always leave me for him...?

MCQ: And Vincent you get the reward for getting two Re-l's to love you. Just imagine the possibilities.

Vincent: *nose bleeds*

MCW: How about another audience ques...

Audience member#3: Vincent LAW? I thought that was Vincent Valentine.

MCQ: I said audience question! You, guy with the hat.

Guy with hat: I have a question for Kristiva. What's it like being in the middle of all this?

Kristiva : I imagine it's like being a single parent. You just put up with them, because you don't have a choice.

Commercial break:
A video of babies playing is played.

"Bought a house? Got married? Now Just stuck waiting for the next step? Well, wait no longer with Baby Now! Call and order your child today!"

MCQ: Audience question! You, girl with Re-l neko ears.

Neko girl: Re-l, what do you do to spice up your love life?

Re-L: Oh, well that's simple. I just demand It! Demand your man to entertain you, comb your hair, get you food. Demand everything and dont forget to yell! Men love that kind of stuff Right Vince?

Vincent: ....


Vincent: Yeah.... sure.

MCQ: Wow, this kitty's got claws.

Vincent: You have no idea...

*Re-l glares at Vincent*

Vincent: *mumbling* Well, looks like I'm not getting laid tonight.

MCQ: And the Best Dressed Award goes to Raul Creed for his pilgrim costume.

Pino: Pino didn't know Papa was a pilgrim?

Raul: *growls angrily*

Daedalus: There's a lot you don't know about your dad, kid.

Commercial break:
A video of realistic robots hanging out with masters is shown.

"Introducing the new and improved, Companion Model! Now with more realism. You can't even tell it's not human. With over a  million customisation options, your new autoravie can look however you want! Order yours today! Batteries not included."

*Daedalus takes out notepad*

Iggy: But Prince, why even bother? She'll probably just leave you for Vincent again.

Raul: The world doesn't need anymore Re-ls! Besides, Vincent can't even handle the one.

Vincent: *nose bleeds*

MCQ: This next award is for Pino. Pino, you win the Copy Cat Award.


MCQ: And our last award goes to Proxy One for the best Vincent Impression. Congratulations, One. Your impression was even better than Vince himself.

Raul: It's true I really thought you were him.

Vincent: That's not fair.

Proxy One: Of course it's fair, I made you.

Vincent: *transforms to Ergo Proxy*

Audience member#4: Run, it's a Shinigami!

Studio audience frantically begins to run away.

MCQ: Well, looks like that concludes our show tonight. Thank you everyone for joining us  and don't forget to QQQQQ!