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We Could Give Glee A Run For It's Money

Chapter Text


Karolina sat between Chase and Nico while the latter argued with Alex as to whether or not their parents should go to open house tomorrow.

“Do you want our parent’s to find another victim Nico? They don’t need to get any ideas.” Alex said.

Nico frowned then argued, “They’re our parents. How are we going to stop them. And you know that they only use runaways. If someone is showing up to an open house of all things they probably aren’t going to drop everything in their life and run away.”

Alex frowned too. “Well-”

Needless to say, Karolina wasn’t exactly having a good time. Sitting next to Chase didn’t make it any better, especially after last night. She wished she had just flat out told him she didn’t like him before he kissed her but she didn’t. She couldn’t, but that didn’t matter did it? Half of her felt bad for possibly leading him on but the other half of her felt that it wasn’t her fault. She tried to show her discomfort whenever he got close to her but he just wasn’t taking a hint. She didn’t really know if not telling him made her a bad person but she didn’t really feel responsible for him. Karolina mostly felt remorse for Gert. Her crush on the jock wasn’t exactly subtle and she wished there was an easier way to let the other girl know that she didn’t have to worry that she would take Chase.

She sighed and got up to get another drink before noticing Gert was getting up to at the same time, it looked like she’d get her chance to apologize sooner rather than later.

Gert followed her over to the far side of the room and once they were out of hearing range she placed a hand on her shoulder. She started fidgeting before speaking. “I’m, uh, sorry. About last night I mean” Gert said. She was noticeably quieter. “I realize now that I probably shouldn't have brought up something like that without making sure you were okay with, uh, talking about something like that.” At least she wasn’t just getting mad at her and Karolina appreciated the attempt at friendliness and let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry too. I reacted badly and shouldn’t have gotten mad at you for figuring it out.” She apologized. Gert’s eyes widened.

“So you do have a crush on her? On Nico?”

“Yeah. I have a crush on Nico.” It felt liberating to say. Karolina didn’t really have anyone in her life that she could talk to about things like this. Even if she had a crush on a guy she wouldn’t. Her mom was too invested in the church and her dad just didn’t really understand how to have a conversation about something like that. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it’s just that he seemed far away most of the time, distant and smiling. He could be a bit like a cloud, she supposed. Gert’s grin snapped her out of her thoughts and Karolina blushed. Finally being able to talk about it didn’t exactly make it less embarrassing.

“Wait. That’s your first time saying that, isn’t it?” Karolina’s blush deepened and she nodded. Gert’s grin dropped. “God now I feel way worse. You’re just a baby gay and I forced you out of the closet without even thinking about it. At a party too. Seriously I’m sorry if I’d have known you weren’t-”

Baby gay. That was a new one. She supposed it was better than “Cult Girl” though and Gert didn’t seem to mean it as an insult.

“It’s okay. There was no way for you to have known that I wasn’t all that comfortable about it yet.” She said and smiled. She didn’t have any ill will towards the girl and was glad they could move on after she lashed out at her.

Gert held out her hand.“Truce?”

Before she shook it, as if by divine intervention, Nico met her eyes across the room and she could have sworn her heart skipped a beat. How did she always get to her like this? Always when it would matter? It was like a magic Nico didn’t even need her staff for. It was inherent and subconscious and if her bracelet fell off in that moment she didn’t even think she would notice because the warmth spreading through her body would be the same.

She made a split second decision.

“How about I do you one better?” She said and grabbed both of Gert’s hands. “How about an alliance? You help me I help you?” Gert tensed but didn’t pull away.

“Like a mutually beneficial partnership? Wing-women?”

Karolina nodded, “Yeah that. I help you, you help me. You get the guy and I get the girl and we both end up happy.”

Gert raised an eyebrow. “And you think we can do this? You think we won’t screw it up? We both haven’t exactly been lucky in the romance department.”

Karolina grasped the other girl’s shoulder and leaned in. “I have never been more sure of anything in my life.” And she meant it.

Gert came by her house the next day prepared.

Actually, prepared was an understatement.

Karolina was sitting in her room while Gert held a pointer to a graphic display.

“This is the situation we have right now. I-”

She smacked the pointer onto a picture of her frowning.

“Have a crush on Chase-”

Was that a picture of his butt? That’s kind of creepy.

“Who has a crush on you-”

Wow. Real mature. It was just a picture of her from an interview about the church with a bunch of rainbow stickers on it.

“And you have a crush on Nico-”

Aw. Nico was flipping off the camera but she still had a little smile on her face. Adorable.

“Who’s with Alex-”

It was just his yearbook picture from last year and it had the same mopey face and two shirt outfit he normally wears.

“And unrelated we have Molly.”

A picture of her sleeping, which is all she seemed to do when she was with them now.

“Thank god she isn’t involved in any of this. Bless her soul. My little sister is an angel.”

She smacked the center of the board and crossed her arms. “We have a real mess here Karolina. Seriously. We could give Glee a run for it’s money, that’s how bad this situation is.” She turned around and took a step back to look at the board. She sighed, then turned to Karolina. “How do you want to go about this? Do you want to concoct a scheme together? Need me to lock you guys in a room together? Wait, no, we need to break her up with Alex first. He’s kind of depressing and prone to game addiction so we probably just need to get him a World of Warcraft subscription.”

“Gert that’s mean. And I don’t want to actively break them up. That’s wrong and I’d feel like a jerk. Like, I’m only okay with her deciding that they should end things on her own.”

Gert nodded. “Jealousy it is. So, obviously the easiest way to do this is to have a girl fake date you so that she knows you’re gay too but if you can’t do that I suppose we can use a guy. I have a candidate in mind but trust me you don’t want to resort to that.” 

She knew Gert was right, fake dating a girl would definitely be smarter but that would inevitably mean coming out to her parents sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t be easy. She’d have to do it anyways though and she’d rather do it on her own terms. “Let’s do this properly. I’ll fake date a girl.”

Gert grinned. “Great! I’ll be your fake girlfriend! Thank god we don’t have to use who I had in mind. I was worried I’d have to set you up with that kid who made a shirt with my name on it.” 

Karolina blinked. “Wait. How would that help our situation? What if Chase thinks you’re gay too? Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose? And why does a kid have a shirt with your name on it?”

“The kid’s weird, also, I am literally our schools most obvious bisexual. Come on Karolina, the alternative hair color combined with the intense passion for politics, you didn’t notice any of that? I literally have the bisexual bob. Last week I talked about heteronormativity for Gib’s sake. You were right there sitting next to me! That didn’t strike you as, oh, I don’t know, not straight?”

“I just thought you were a feminist.” Karolina mumbled.

“Sure I am, a hella bi feminist. Anyways, besides you, I think everyone else knows. This way you get someone who knows all about the plan and is definitely on your side, no loose cannon. Heck, maybe Chase’ll get jealous too and we’ll get two birds with one stone.”

She nodded. This was probably why Gert would make a good politician. She was smart, passionate, and wanted to get the job done. “Yeah, alright. Let’s do it. What’s first on the fake girlfriend agenda?”

Gert pulled out her phone and tapped out a text. A second later Karolina’s phone beeped.


“Now we just need to figure out how to act as nauseatingly in love as possible. Any suggestions Ms. Rainbow?”


Chapter Text

They walked in holding hands. It wasn't noticed at first and no one spared a second glance.

Gert greeted the group and pulled out a chair for Karolina. "Sup guys, thank you all for coming. Lovely, beautiful, sweet Karolina brought in copies of the Book of Gibborim for us to analyze." She gestured to Karolina who held up copies of the book. "Reading is fun and education is important, especially if it's about your parents actually being serial killers."

When everyone reached for a book she stopped Alex. "Not you buddy, we need you doing your techy laptop business on those files you got from Nico's mom." Alex frowned.

"I already got those. It was the video, remember? And Chase destroyed my laptop. I thought we were googling so I could use my phone." Gert shrugged and lightly shoved him away anyways.

"Google then. We realized that we needed lots of people to read the book but we still need someone googling. You're good with computers and tech and stuff. You'll be in your element."

"Literally anyone can google stuff."

"But you'll do it better. Go on, we won't bother you." Once he started to grumble and get up she turned her attention back to the group and clapped her hands.

"Um, Gert, not that this isn't a bad idea, but why do you think we'll find something in the Book of Gibborim." Molly asked. Dang. Her sister always knew when she was scheming. She raised her well.

"Great question Molly. Wonderful perfect sunshine Karolina noticed that the Gibs founder made some paintings that looked a whole lot like her powers. Considering everything that's happened, I highly doubt that was a coincidence." She said.

"What's with all the compliments." She heard Chase mutter under his breath while he crossed his arms.

"What was that Chase? Something you want to add?" Gert leaned in and cupped her ear expectantly as Karolina let out a silent chuckle. Chase blushed.

"I said "What's with all the condiments?" It's like this coffee shop is a burger shop am I right?" He held his hand up to Nico for a high five. When she just stared at it he put his hand down.

"Ah yes." Gert said. "So many condiments. But ignoring that we should really get back to this book. Kare bear, I believe you had some passages you wanted to look at." She patted her hand on Karolina's thigh but didn't remove it. Karolina's face lightly pinked, so light that if Gert wasn't already looking at her face she wouldn't have noticed. When she looked at Nico and saw a crinkled brow, however, she knew that the goth had seen it. Interesting.

She added a squeeze to Karolina's thigh and pretended to look down at her book while keeping Nico in her peripheral vision. The other girl had started frowning now. Karolina either truly had a god on her side when it came to straight girl crushes or she had an innate gaydar. The first wasn't likely as her parents were probably murderers but she supposed the second could be true when the girl was a literal walking rainbow.

"Well, Gerty, there are some wonderful passages about light and love that we should be reading today. Light because, well, I glow, and love because that's what the world needs." Karolina smiled and opened her book while Chase sunk in his chair.

"Do we need it though?" Chase grumbled.

"I actually agree with Chase. What does love have to do with ritual sacrifice?" Nico said.

"Because," Karolina said. "It's what Gibborim is based off of, love, light, and openness. It only makes sense that if anything were to be tied to Gibborim it would be hidden in those themes."

Gert smiled and kissed Karolina's cheek. "Exactly Lina, what page do we turn to."

Chase finally sat up and stared at them. "What's up with you two? You guys were at eachother's throats a few days ago and now you're all over each other."

"Love Chase! Alas, one day you will understand. Karolina and I are now madly in love." Gert exclaimed while she threw her arms around Karolina who hugged her in return. She played it up by letting out a loud sigh.

Nico scoffed and squinted her eyes at them in confusion "And when exactly did that happen. Last I remember you were both spending, or in Gert's case trying to spend, an awful amount of time with Chase. Also, no one says alas anymore it's 2018."

"The time I spent with Chase was not of my own volition. And I'll have you know plenty of people say alas, I say it all the time." Karolina argued.

Chase's eyes widened. "Crap they are dating. There's no way the normal Karolina would say volition." Gert knew this to be false. The girl was intelligent, being one of the spokeswomen for a whole religion tended to require it. Chase, just like she suspected, didn't actually spend a lot of time getting to know Karolina. It was something he tended to do with everyone since middle school when his dad got worse. He was too preoccupied with other things to notice people around him. She couldn't get mad at him for that.

"Actually you say blessed a lot. Not alas." Molly quipped. Gert noticed she had kind of taken a back seat on the drama but was now getting involved. And not on her sister's side. Rude.

"Molly, people can say more than one world all the time. Gert fixed her a "I'm-your-sister-and-if-you-screw-me-over-you're-dead-to-me-stare" but Molly continued anyway.

"Technically they can't say any word all the time."

Alex spoke up from behind them. "Guys googling doesn't do anything can we try to salvage my laptop or-"

"Stay out of this Alex." Nico and Karolina said simultaneously.

"Geez. Fine. No love for the tech guy." He went back to looking at his phone.

"Can we actually read something or are you guys just going to be obsessed with drama." Molly said unimpressed. "I have other places to be."

Gert scrunched her brow on confusion. "Like where? You're fourteen you can't just go off by yourself."

"Says the girl who left me alone at home with a dinosaur. And I'm barely younger than any of you!"

"That dinosaur is an angel and you know it."

"That dinosaur tried to bite my face off." Chase interjected.

"If I could I'd bite your face off you can't blame her for that." Gert paused after she realized what she said. Her face turned red and she stammered. "That came out wrong but what do you know my murder parents are texting me time to go Molly." She flashed them her phone then grabbed her sister by the arm as she speed walked out of the coffee shop.

"Your phone didn't even show any new messages!" Chase yelled after them. The door closed before they could reply and he slumped down in his chair.

Karolina sheepishly got up. "Well. This was fun. Um. I guess I'm just gonna go. You guys can keep the books they make good coasters. Bye." She quickly walked out of the shop.

Chapter Text

To say she was surprised when Chase knocked on her window at 1 AM was an understatement.

"What?" She whispered. "I don't know if you've noticed but visiting hours are closed. Why are you here?"

"Can you let me in at least?"

She opened the window as high as she could, which wasn't very high, and watched Chase try to fit himself through the hole.

It was actually quite entertaining.

"God they make this look so easy in movies." Chase groaned as he fell clumsily to the ground. He was dressed normally but had a small bag strapped to his back, the kind you see preppy joggers wear.

"Sorry you're no 007. Care to tell me why you're here yet?"

Chase got up and brushed himself off. "You've heard about what happened with Molly and the dance team, right?" He actually seemed concerned, which was making her concerned.

"Yeah..." She said slowly. "What about it?"

"I heard her crying the other day, in the bathroom. I couldn't go in so I waited outside. That girl in charge of the dance team left laughing."

Gert attempted to remain calm but her voice cracked when she spoke. "And did you ask Molly about this."

He shifted from side to side but maintained her gaze. "She said she didn't want to talk about it and stormed off. I figured-"

"That evil little slut!" Gert yelled. "No. I shouldn't say that. That evil little demon girl. God I knew she was trouble but I tried to let Molly handle it. Molly's been having a tough time since starting school and I saw it starting and didn't do anything? I hate myself more than that stupid dance girl now." She took a deep breath. "So what did you have in mind? There must have been another reason to come here."

Chase nodded but looked at her carefully. "What I'm gonna suggest, it's gonna sound pretty harsh, are you ok with that? It's nothing that'll hurt her, just some revenge. No physical violence."

Gert hummed and crossed her arms. "Can we get suspended for it?"

"Only if we mess up."

She held her hand out for him to shake as she grew more determined. "I'm in, what's the plan?"

"Plant drugs on that b-"

Gert glared at him.

"Uh, young woman."

She nodded and he continued.

"Anyways, I know for a fact she's been smoking weed that she gets from Lance on the Lacrosse team. She's been sneaky enough to not get caught. All we have to do is plant some of our own in her bag, tell a teacher, and boom, instantly kicked off the team."

"Cruel. I like it. Why come to my house now though?"

"They have their first practice for the championships tomorrow. If we want to get her kicked off and get Molly on it needs to happen tomorrow," He explained. " know why."

"I really don't?" Gert tilted her head. Could Chase have come to her for help with this because he liked her, because she was Molly's sister, because she was the first person he thought of?

"Because your parents grow weed."

Oh. That's why.

"It has good stress relieving properties!" She tried defending them. Sure, they were evil and all but their plant growing habits were well-intentioned.

"I'm not knocking it Gert. We need to borrow some for our plan."

"Well. I suppose it wouldn't bother them. I use it sometimes so they probably won't think anything's out of the ordinary."

Chase smiled. "Great, lead the way."

Getting to the basement was easy enough. Her parents slept like rocks and Molly strangely enough had started actually staying asleep throughout the whole night.

"Is, uh, your dinosaur still down there?" Chase stuttered. She was surprised to see that he looked genuinely afraid.

"Where else would it go Chase? Under my bed? Yes it's in the basement."

"Where we're going?"

"Yes. Where we're going."

He gulped and with it seemed to swallow down whatever he was thinking about saying next.

Her parents weren't trying to hide anything so it was just sitting on a table in plain sight.

"Here I brought a bag. Just-" He was cut off when a voice spoke.

"Gert? Chase?" Great. Molly woke up. Apparently she did still get up at random times.

"Ah, Molly. My dead sister. Whatever brings you to our presence."

"God, you always talk weird when you're hiding something." Molly's eyes widened when she saw what was in Gert's hand.

"Gert! Is that a weed!"

"No it's a crayon." Gert turned to Chase. "This is why our parents don't tell her things."

"I'm calling the police!" Molly ran down the hallway. Chase looked at Gert, opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, then ran after Molly.

Surprisingly Gert was faster and tackled Molly to the ground. She was at the microwave in the kitchen for some reason and a 9 read on the display.

"You know that isn't a Wizard microwave! It doesn't make calls!"

"What do you mean it doesn't make calls! That's why Dale and Stacy paid so much for it!"

"No! They wanted a microwave that melted cheese perfectly! And we both need to stop yelling! I'll explain things if you just calm down for a minute." Molly stopped struggling and Gert got off of her.

"Thank you. We need this and we can't tell you why."

Molly squinted her eyes while she glanced between Gert and Chase. You guys aren't, like, getting high together or something are you?"

"No we're no-"

"Yeah totally!" Chase and Gert spoke at the same time and glared at each other.

"Okay then." Molly said, dragging out the o. She shifted her stare to Gert. "Are you cheating on Karolina? That's pretty f-"

"Jeez Molly no! And language! We're just two friends getting high together as friends totally platonically with nothing more than friendship between us." Gert internally cringed but Molly seemed so weirded out she just dropped it.

"Ok. You guys go and be weird I just want some cookies." She grabbed a box of Oreos off the counter and walked away.

Chase and Gert let out a collective sigh. "Meet me at the gym right after school, that's when we'll do it."

"No problem."

She walked him back to the window he came in from before he suddenly stopped.

"And Gert," Chase turned and looked at her. "I'd get high with you any day."

The blush stayed on her face until she heard his car pull away.