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Dance My Heart Away

Chapter Text

Victor was about to collapse under the pressure. He stood on top of the podium once more, another gold medal strung around his neck. He felt nothing, only a heavy weight around his neck. The weight of his disappointment, perhaps.
Victor sighed, stepping off the podium. He sat through the conference, sighing at every sentence. By the end of the Grand Prix series, Victor was in desperate need of a break, even a fresh start, maybe.

Victor laid down on the hotel bed. His gold medal thrown into his suitcase. He was losing himself. Victor was losing himself to unimaginable pressure. He no longer felt inspired, his heart was heavy.

Victor Nikiforov suddenly disappeared from the skating world. Just him, his dog, and some luggage hopped on the plane to Japan. A month long get away should be enough for him to clear his head, right? He found himself in the bright city of Tokyo.
—————————————————
Victor and Makkachin settled down into their Air BnB.
“I’m going to get a coffee, so you stay here for now and we’ll go out later.” Victor bent down and scratched between Makkachin’s ears.
“Be a good girl, I’ll be back later.” Victor stood up and left the apartment complex to go to the local coffee shop.

He looked up at the menu, deciding what it was he wanted to get.
“Hi. What can I get for you?” Victor looked at the barista, with ruffled black hair and the most gorgeous hazel eyes. Thick blue frames rimmed his eyes, his soft smile spreading across his face. Victor was whipped already. His breath hitched. Victor lost himself in the honey irises, not even noticing anything the barista was saying.

“He’s… beautiful…” Victor thought to himself, colour in his cheeks beginning to appear.

“C-can I get a regular mocha, please?” Victor tripped over his words as he ordered. He could see the barista’s cheeks pinking slightly.
“Sure… anything else?” He asked.
“A-and your number…” Victor murmured.
“Pardon?” Yuuri asked, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.
“N-nothing! That’ll be all!” Victor blushed. God, he couldn’t believe that just slipped out.

Victor took his coffee, disappointed that the lovely barista’s number was not written on the cup.
—————————————————
Yuuri was oh so tempted to write his number on the cup. But who was he kidding? He didn’t even know this man. Yuuri sighed, leaving for the break room.
“He looked very interested in you, Yuuri.” Yuuko teases with a smirk.
“N-no He wasn’t! Besides, he’s way out of my league anyway.” Yuuri sighed.
“Do you even know who he is?” Yuuko asked.
“N-no? Why, you do?”
“Victor Nikiforov? Russian skating legend?” Yuuri’s breath hitched. Definitely way out of his league.
Yuuri’s cheeks turned a deep red.
“Awwww! Yuuri’s interested in someone!” Yuuko squeaked.
Phichit came bounding out.
“Is Yuuri falling in love?! About time after that douche bag—“
“Phichit! Can we not talk about him? I’m not falling in love, okay? I promised myself I wouldn’t ever again. He was just… never mind! I’m going back out to work.” Yuuri sighed, completely and totally embarrassed.

Yuuri’s mind drifted back to his former boyfriend. Shaking himself from his thoughts, he pushed them back and ignored them.
—————————————————
“Chris! He was beautiful Chris! He had the most beautiful brown eyes and and he was so cute Chris help!” Victor gushed down the phone as Makkachin sat in his lap.
“Slow down, Victor who are you talking about?” Chris chuckled.
“The barista…! He was so cute and adorable and soft and oh my god!” Victor was dying.
“Alright, chill, sounds like you’re in love, mon chéri.” Chris smirked down the phone.
“Help, what do I do!” Victor was flustered as he pleaded for help.
“Well first of all, did you get his number?” Chris asked.
“I-I tried b-but I was so nervous I couldn’t speak properly and it came out as a whisper and he must have thought I was an idiot!” Victor blurted, slapping his forehead at his stupidity.

“Alright, listen, Victor. You need to get his number without tripping over yourself and looking like a huge mess.” Chris teased.
“Don’t be mean, Chris!” Victor sighed.
“Go back! You need to drop hints that you’re interested in him.”
“What if he’s not gay?” Victor asked.
“You’ll know.” Chris said.
“Now chase your lover boy and go back for another coffee tomorrow!”
—————————————————
The next day, Victor did exactly what Chris suggested – he returned for another coffee. He walked in, disappointed to see that the adorable barista wasn’t in. Sighing, he ordered a regular coffee and just left, leading Makkachin through Tokyo.
“Shall we find a park to sit at?” Victor cooed.

Victor released Makkachin from her leash and allowed her to run freely, whilst keeping watch of her.
“He wasn’t there today…” Victor sighed down the phone.
“Cheer up, maybe it was his day off. He’ll probably be back tomorrow!” Chris encouraged.
“What if I don’t see him again before I leave?” Victor sounded slightly panicked down the phone.
“Victor. You and I both know you’re not leaving Japan till you get that boy.” Chris chuckled and Victor laughed.
“I suppose so. Anyway, Makkachin looks tired now so I’m gonna take her back.” Victor said.
“Give her kisses from uncle Chris!”
“I will, bye.” Victor said as he cut the call, calling for Makkachin to come back.
“Makka! Come here girl!” Makkachin came running over, kneeling obediently at Victor’s feet.
“Good girl.” Victor smiled, hooking her leash back onto her collar.

Victor retired to the Air BnB quite early, pining for the cute barista.
“Makkachin… I hope he’s in tomorrow…” Victor sighed, squeezing Makkachin close.
—————————————————
He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He was almost up.
After shedding an hour’s worth of anxious tears, maybe he was finally ready.
Shaking, Yuuri took his spot at the centre of the stage and drowned out the audience.
Yuuri danced to his heart’s content, ignoring the whole audience. He was so engrossed into his role as the swan, his every move speaking louder than his voice ever could.
But. He couldn’t stop thinking about the gorgeous foreigner who came into the coffee shop the day before. He wondered if he returned the next day.

Through his whole performance Yuuri’s mind kept wondering back to Victor. He wondered everything – about his career, his private life, about his interests. Yuuri wondered if he’d ever had any lovers. Yuuri sighed.
“Way out of my league. Don’t even try.” He muttered to himself.

Yuuri sighed as he came off stage, taking deep, heavy breaths as he wiped his sweat. The beautiful foreigner had been plaguing his mind for the entire day. Yuuri shook the thoughts away.
“I’ll never see him again anyway.” He sighed to himself as he stripped out of his dancewear and slipped into the shower. Yuuri washes the gel out of his hair, standing under the steaming water for what must have felt like hours.

Chapter Text

Yuuri collapsed on the bed as soon as he got home. He buried his face in his pillow and let out a loud sigh.
“He came by again.” Phichit smiled, walking into their shared room.
“Who did?” Yuuri asked quietly.
“You know who, Yuuri. He looked very disappointed when he didn’t see you. Just ordered a coffee and left.” Phichit smirked, but Yuuri scoffed.

“Why do you all think he’s interested in me?” Yuuri turned into his side to face Phichit, who had climbed into his own bed.
“Why? Because it’s obvious! The way he first looked at you, his disappointment when you weren’t at work…” Phichit sighed.
“Two days. Two days he’s known of my existence, Phichit.” Yuuri sighed.
“I’m going to sleep, good night.” Yuuri said, turning off the lamp and tucking himself into the duvet.
—————————————————
Victor woke up the next morning feeling pretty… under the weather.
“Morning Makka…” Victor sighed, sitting up on the bed as Makkachin jumped into his lap.
“Shall we try again, Makka?” Victor asked, climbing out of bed. Makkachin boofed at Victor, sticking his tongue out as Victor petted him.

An hour later Victor was ready and out. He looked into the café, his face lighting up as he saw Yuuri working. He walked in, Makkachin obediently following him.
“Hi.” Yuuri smiled, his features absolutely glowing. “What can I get for you today?” Yuuri asked.
“Just a mocha, please.” Victor tried not to trip over his words.
“Sure thing. Anything else?” Yuuri asked, punching his order into the register.
“C-can I have—“ Victor froze up.
“N-never mind, that’ll be all.” Yuuri let out a slightly sad sigh.
“Alright.” He smiled gently, going off to prepare Victor’s order.

Victor sat down and sighed, pulling out his phone.
“Did you get your lover boy?” Victor could hear Chris smirking down the phone.
“I couldn’t do it Chris!” Victor whined. “I tried b-but I got too nervous and I couldn’t ask!” Victor let out a heavy, dramatic sigh.
“Hey, hey, relax. Just keep coming back until you can do it.” Chris encouraged. “Don’t you dare return to Russia without your lover boy.”
“Yes, Chris.” Victor mumbled down the phone.
“I gotta go now, au revoir, say hey to lover boy for me.” Chris smirked again as he cut the call.
—————————————————
Yuuri blushes as Victor came up to the counter.
“Hi. What can I get for you today?” Yuuri tried to calm his racing heart as Victor placed his order.
“Just a mocha, please.” Victor was absolutely stunning. Yuuri couldn’t stop staring.
“Sure thing. Anything else?”
“C-can I have… never mind, that’ll be all.” Yuuri’s face fell, expectations of a request for his number shattered. Sighing, he prepared Victor’s order.

He snook off to the back room after serving Victor.
“He was so about to ask for your number.” Phichit nudged.
“No he wasn’t. He probably just forgot what he wanted to order.” Yuuri denied.
“Oh, come on, even you’re not this blind, Yuuri.” Phichit sighed. “He’s so after you! And you’re interested in him, just make your lives easier!” Phichit was about to pull his hair out.
“I’m not interested in him.” Yuuri denied once again.
“Yes you are! For goodness sake Yuuri! You can’t let one guy ruin you forever.” Phichit sat down next to him.
“I just don’t want to get hurt again…” Yuuri buried his face in his hands.
“Hey, if he makes the first move or something, go with the flow. Everyone can see he’s totally whipped for you.” Phichit chuckled softly.
“Just don’t let that one asshole hold you back. You deserve to be happy.” Phichit ruffled his hair. “I’m going back out now.”
—————————————————
Victor returned to the same café, about to grab dinner after a long day, when he bumped into Yuuri just finishing work.
His breath hitched, cheeks flushing pink.
“H-Hi…!” Victor stuttered.
“H-hello…” Yuuri managed a soft smile, his palms sweating and his breathing laboured. When did it suddenly get so warm?
“… Victor. Victor Nikiforov.” Victor filled the gap, holding out his hand for Yuuri to shake.
“Y-Yuuri… Yuuri Katsuki…” Yuuri murmured as he shook Victor’s hand hesitantly. His palm was warm and soft, significantly larger than Yuuri’s own.

Victor took a deep breath.
“I— Erm… about to g-get dinner… do you want to… err…” Victor gestures to themselves, words just tumbling from his lips. Yuuri’s breath hitched. He was about to reject, but Phichit’s words rang through his head - “Hey, if he makes the first move or something, go with the flow. Everyone can see he’s totally whipped for you.” Yuuri took a moment to compose himself.
“I… I’d love to b-but I have dance practice now…” Yuuri stared at the floor. “B-but maybe… tomorrow?” Yuuri offered, fists clenched to his sides and eyes squeezed shut, ready to be rejected.

Victor smiled.
“Err… shall I meet you after work… here, then?” Victor asked.
“I get off at five, s-so… yeah, that’d be great.” Yuuri’s smile stabbed Victor’s heart. God, he was definitely in love with him.
“Y-yeah! So I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow?” Victor couldn’t stop smiling.
“Yeah. B-but I have to run to dance class now s-so I’ll see you tomorrow?” Victor nodded.
“See you tomorrow.” Victor waved as Yuuri stumbled out of the door.
—————————————————
“CHRIS! CHRIS!” Victor frantically screamed down the phone.
“C-Chris!”
“Screaming my name down the phone does not explain the situation, Victor.” Chris laughed.
“I— He… DINNER!” Victor blurted out.
“Screaming three words down the phone also doesn’t tell me what happened.” Victor could practically hear Chris rolling his eyes.
“I g-got him… he… dinner together tomorrow!” Victor’s heart was pounding wildly as he buried his face in Makkachin’s fur.
“Ohohoho. Finally. Did you get his number?” Chris asked with a smirk.
Victor froze up.
“DAMMIT!” Victor smacked his hand against his head.
“I forgot!” He practically cried.
“You’re one step further my friend.” Chris scoffed.
“You’d better make a good first impression!” Chris joked.
“Oh god, Chris, how do I date…” Victor sighed deeply once more. He’s never felt like this before, for anyone, ever. The gentle glint of Yuuri’s eyes plagued his mind, his heart beating out of his throat.
“Be yourself. Never put on a fake face for a first date.” Chris advised. “So that means no “figure-skater Victor”, just “poodle-lover Victor”.” As Chris put it.
“Pull out his seat, offer to pay, just be a gentleman. Bring him flowers or something.” Chris added.
“Isn’t that a bit… over the top?” Victor questioned.
“Victor. The most extra person in the world. Asking me if bringing a guy flowers is over the top.” Chris furrowed his brow.
“Just be you. Just you.”
—————————————————
Yuuri raced to the dance studio, his head screaming at him. He bounded in, slamming the door shut and sliding down the door.
Trembling fingers pulled his phone out of his pocket.
“P-Phichit! He— he asked me on a date!” He squeaked.
“Didn’t I tell you he was so into you?” Phichit grinned.
“B-but what if he’s like…” Phichit cut him off.
“Forget about him Yuuri! You’ll never know what handsome foreigner is really like if you keep worrying over one douchebag who hurt you.” Phichit sighed. He was about to knock Yuuri’s head with a hammer until he understood.
“I just… I promised myself I’d never fall in love with an asshole again b-but…” Yuuri took a deep breath.
“Yuuri. Please. Take a deep breath, dance your stress away and just turn up to your date, okay? I’m still at work, so I’ll let you go.” Phichit sighed. Gee, Yuuri could be such an idiot.
“O-okay… see you later…” Yuuri cut the call and tried to relax himself.

He made his way over to the changing rooms to change into his leotard.

Yuuri re-emerged from the changing room, sliding his CD into the stereo.
Taking a starting position in the centre of the studio, Yuuri began to move to the music. His wavering insecurities could be seen in every move. Each raise of his leg, each reach of his arm was plastered with insecurities and doubts. Thoughts of Victor plagued his mind. Yuuri couldn’t stop overthinking – what if Victor wasn’t the person he thought he was? What if Victor turned out to be… Yuuri was close to tears. But, Phichit was right. Regardless of how much Yuuri himself tried to deny it, he deserved to be happy.

Chapter Text

Yuuri was trembling like a leaf when he turned up for work the next day. His eye bags were fairly deep, hair disheveled and sticking up all over the place.
“Yuuri you look like you’ve been hit by a bus.” Yuuko grinned as Yuuri slipped his apron on.
“Thanks for the confidence booster, Yuuko…” Yuuri let out a deep sigh.
“So… what’s up?” Yuuko asked with another big, knowing smile on her face.
Yuuri’s face went through a number of facial expressions in a space of three seconds.
From confusion, to realisation, to shock, to a soft pout. He puffed his cheeks out in a sharp exhale.
“You literally look like you know why are you even asking…” Yuuri almost rolled his eyes.
“Buttttt… I want to hear from you!” Yuuko added, but Yuuri just released another deep sigh.
“No.” He said sharply before going out to take his shift.

Yuuri stepped out to see Phichit with //that// look on his face.
“You didn’t have to tell everyone…!” Yuuri’s squeaked as Phichit pulled a grin.
“Good morning to you too, Yuuri! I couldn’t help it! I was excited for you!” Phichit whined.
“If you keep telling everyone about my “love life”,” Yuuri imitated speech marks in the air. “…I’ll never tell you anything about it again!” Yuuri blushes heavily and Phichit laughed at his empty threats.
“You’d never do that, you love me too much.” Yuuri just pouted, his eyebrows knitting together. “But. In all seriousness, I’m glad you’re giving him a chance.” Phichit smiled warmly, and not the sly, sneaky smile, but a smile full of genuine care. “He’d better treat you well, or I’ll slap him.” Phichit threatened.
“Phichit! Don’t go around slapping people! Besides, we aren’t even dating. We’re just… getting dinner…” Yuuri shied away once more, staring at the floor.

“And that’s not dating?” Phichit tried to argue.
“Three days, Phichit. We’ve known each other for three days.” Yuuri stayed plainly. “We’re just going for dinner. It’s not like we’re…” Yuuri cut himself off.
“Either way, I expect to hear everything about your date!” Phichit added.
—————————————————
A few hours into his shift, Yuuri began to get impatient. He caught himself staring at the clock at what seemed like every hour, to find it had only been ten minutes. Just as he was about to let out an exasperated sigh, a certain head of platinum hair and a beautiful poodle came through the door. Phichit could see Yuuri visibly relax, a gentle smile turning up at the corners of his lips, his expression glowing.

“Hi.” Yuuri didn’t stutter this time, nothing but affection seeping through his lips. His heart pounded in his chest.
“Hey yourself.” Victor smiled back. “Makka, sit please. Good girl.” Victor turned back to Yuuri. “Just a mocha, please.” Victor requested his usual. This time though, he made no attempt to obtain Yuuri’s number, deciding that after their dinner… arrangement would be a better time to ask.
“Sure thing. Nothing else?” Yuuri’s voice was soft as he struggled to keep his voice from wavering. Yet this time, the usual disappointment of Victor failing to ask for his number just went straight over his head.
Victor shook his head.
“One mocha coming right up.” Yuuri turned away to make his mocha, and out of the corner of his eye he could see Phichit’s knowing smirk. Yuuri glared back sternly at him.

“Here’s your mocha.” Yuuri handed Victor his mocha.
“Thank you.” Victor smiled, gently tugging Makkachin to coax him to walk away.
“Yuuri—“
“Victor—“
“See you tonight.” Yuuri shyly smiled, face heating up and bright pink, the tips of his ears also coloured by his blush.
“See you tonight.” Victor’s turquoise pools stared back into Yuuri’s own honey eyes, softness glazing over them.

Yuuri couldn’t help but feel giddy inside. Maybe his life would be turning around.
—————————————————
Victor stepped into the coffee shop, immediately searching around for the fluffy barista. A warmth built up in his heart as he saw him working away.

“Hi.” God, the way he smiled. It was so… bright. So amazing.
“Hey yourself. Just a mocha please.” Victor could feel his heart in his throat, his lungs burning with each trembling breath.
“Sure thing. Nothing else?” Victor contemplated asking for his number, but decided that would be more appropriate later. He simply shook his head.
“One mocha coming right up.” Victor nodded and waited patiently.

“Here’s your mocha.”
“Thank you.” Victor gently tugged Makkachin’s leash, almost moving away when he stopped himself.
“Yuuri—“
“Victor—“
“See you tonight.” Victor thought he was going to have a heart attack. The purest angel, right in front of him – flustered and adorable mess.
“See you tonight.” He just about managed through shaky breaths. He caught himself staring, before slowly moving away.

Victor simply couldn’t wait for tonight.
—————————————————
As five o’clock drew closer Victor got nervous. What if he didn’t make a good impression? Sighing, he came out of the flower shop with a bouquet of pink roses.
Victor’s watch read four forty five. Smiling to himself, Victor began to make his way to the cafe where Yuuri worked.
“Let’s go Makka, Yuuri will be finished soon.” Makkachin boofed and stood up onto his paws, following Victor to the coffee shop.

Victor arrived just short of five. He stood outside, leaning against the wall, flowers in one hand and Makkachin at his feet.
Just a few minutes after five, Yuuri came through the door.
“Hi.” That bright, angelic smile was back.
“Hey. I bought these for you.” Victor held the roses out and Yuuri’s cheeks flushed to the same shade of pink.
“T-thank you… you didn’t have to. They’re lovely.” God, Victor was going to have a heart attack if Yuuri pulled another smile.
“They reminded me of you… so… shall we go? I walked past a restaurant yesterday that I wanted to try.” Victor tried to suppress a blush as Yuuri cutely nodded.

Victor led the way, Yuuri kind of struggling to keep up.
“So, How was work today?” Victor turned to find Yuuri a few feet back. Squeaking, he apologised.
“Sorry! Am I going too fast?” He asked as he stopped. Yuuri nodded.
“W-would you like to hold on? Then you can make sure I’m not walking too fast…” Victor heavily blushed. There was a prominent pause.
“I-it’s okay if you don’t want too!” Victor quickly clarified.
“Y-yes… please…” Yuuri was as red as a tomato. Yuuri hesitantly linked onto Victor’s arm, slightly tense.
They carried on walking.
“So, How was work today?” Victor tried asking again, trying to make conversation.
“I-it was good… a little… busier than usual, so a bit more tiring. I suppose it’s nice to have someone waiting for me after work.” Yuuri blurted the last bit out, quickly bringing the hand holding the roses to his face, attempting to hide behind them.
Victor’s heart leapt.
“O-oh… I’m glad you feel like that.” Victor smiled genuinely. “I’m happy to be waiting for you.” Victor’s million watt smile almost killed Yuuri.

Eager to change the topic, Yuuri shifted the focus of the conversation.
“I… I love your poodle…”
“Thank you! She’s called Makkachin, my pride and joy!!!” Victor stopped himself gushing about Makkachin.
“She’s gorgeous.” Yuuri couldn’t stop his eyes beaming at the poodle. “I used to have a poodle like Makkachin, but… smaller. Funnily enough, he shared your name.” Yuuri chuckled bitterly. Victor could see the bittersweet smile on Yuuri’s face and decided not to press further.
“Would you like to hold her?” Victor asked and Yuuri’s face lit up.
“Yes, please.”

Chapter Text

“She’s gorgeous, Victor.” Yuuri couldn’t stop smiling as the adorable poodle followed his lead.
“She’s my lifetime companion. I love her so much.” Victor tried to restrain himself from gushing about her but alas, his mouth ran. “I’ve had her since I was about fourteen. My mother bought her for me when she started working full time. Just someone to be there for me, to keep me company.” Victor smiled at the memories.
“I remember when I first taught her to give me her paw. I couldn’t stop crying at all.” He chuckled and Yuuri smiled, so cute.

“Oh, we’re here now.” Victor said as they approached a large building, subtly beautiful on the outside. They stepped in.
“I made a reservation for half five, Victor Nikiforov?” Victor said as they approached the reception area. Yuuri stood in shock. He definitely wasn’t expecting something this high class. Or at least, to him.
“I wasn’t sure what you’d like, so I picked somewhere with a lot of choice!” Victor smiled as he tied Makkachin’s leash to the railing by the window. He pulled a chair out for Yuuri.
“Wow. You didn’t need to bring me somewhere so extravagant.” Yuuri chuckled lightly.
“No problem! I wanted to try it while I was here.” Victor replied.

“Would you gentlemen like any drinks to start with?” A waitress came over, notepad and pen out.
“I’ll just have a lemonade, please.” Yuuri ordered.
“And I’ll have some ice water, thank you.” The waitress nodded.
“I’ll be back in a moment.”

“How long are you in Japan for?” Yuuri asked quietly as he made himself comfortable. Victor looked up, slightly shocked.
“How did you know I wasn’t…” Victor paused.
“Oh, m-my friend is quite your fan…” Yuuri twiddled his thumbs.
“I see. I’m very honoured.” Victor paused again. “I’m here for the next three and a half weeks.” Yuuri’s head shot up from where he was staring at the table, eyes wide and brows knitted.
“O-oh…” Victor could feel disappointment radiating from Yuuri.
“B-but I would like to keep in contact when… I go home…” Victor quietly added the last bit. Yuuri let out a soft, angelic laugh, just as the waitress set their drinks down.

“I would love that too.” He responded quietly.
“Yuuri… C-can I have your number…?” Victor’s heart was pounding, his palms beginning to sweat as his voice trembled.
Yuuri looked just as shocked.
“Y-you want… m-my number…?” Yuuri inhaled sharply. “T-the Russian s-skating legend… wants… my number…?” Yuuri was blushing ferociously, a million thoughts running through his head.
“Only if that’s okay with you…?” Victor added. “I know we’ve only known each other… three days but…”
“S-Sure…” Yuuri pulled his phone out with shaky fingers, unlocking it to bring up his number. “Please add your number to my phone too…” he quietly requested. He slowly looked up to find Victor staring intently at him.
“S-sorry!” Yuuri squeaked. “I’m really nervous…” he mumbled.
“It’s alright. I am too, let’s just enjoy dinner.” Victor smiled, punching Yuuri’s number into his phone, and his number into Yuuri’s.
“You’re right, s-sorry…” Yuuri sighed quietly.
“You don’t have to keep apologising, Yuuri.” Victor smiled gently, worry minutely present in his eyes.
“Sorry…” Yuuri bought his hands quickly to cover his mouth.

“So tell me about yourself Yuuri. About your life, family, career… anything.” Victor asked, trying to move the conversation forwards.
“E-Erm… I’m twenty three. I come from a small town, Hasetsu. My family owns a hot spring and… erm… I’m a dancer…? I work at the coffee shop to support my studies, as well as my dance career…” Yuuri tried to gather his thoughts to talk about himself. “I’m not very interesting… sorry…”
“I think you are.” Victor reassured. “What kind of dance do you do?” He asked, genuinely intrigued in Yuuri’s life.
“I do ballet… it was always a dream of mine to join Lilia Baranovskaya’s Bolshoi School of Ballet but… I lack confidence, I guess.” Yuuri sighed, his eyebrow furrowing at the thought of his dreams so far away.
“Have you ever tried to audition for Lilia’s school?” Yuuri shook his head. “Send in an audition tape. We’re opening applications in a couple of months time.” Yuuri’s eyes widened.
“You dance under Madame Baranovskaya?!” Yuuri asked, surprise evident in his voice.
“She choreographs the majority of my programs. It’d be lovely for you to join us, so send in a tape! You might get in.” Yuuri stayed quiet, trying to process everything.

“S-so what about your life, Victor?”
“I… I’m from St. Petersburg, Russia. I’m a figure skater, and I don’t really… have a great relationship with my family. Me and my mother, we get along alright but… not so much everyone else.” Victor sighed.
“Oh… I’m sorry for asking…” Yuuri apologised, sympathy glazing his eyes.
“Don’t worry about it. It’s been rocky for a long long time.” Victor smiled softly. “Shall we take a look at the menu?” Victor was eager to change the subject, not quite ready to open up about that. Yuuri nodded, opening the menu. He looked at it for a while.
“I quite like the sound of the seared duck breast in orange sauce?” Yuuri said.
“I was just looking at that as well. Would you like to share? I’m not too hungry today.” Victor added sheepishly.
“Sure thing…” Another blush was creeping up Yuuri’s face.
“I… um… you really blush a lot.” Victor said in a lighthearted manner. Yuuri squeaked.
“Sorry… that’s just who I am!” Victor chuckled.
“I think it’s quite endearing.”
“T-thank you…”
———————————————————
“I really enjoyed dinner today, Yuuri.”
“I did too. Thank you for the roses, they’re beautiful.” Yuuri, god, his one hundred kilowatt smile.
“Erm… would you like to… join me again tomorrow? For dinner?” Victor asked.
“Sorry… I have a night shift tomorrow because I have class in the morning…” Yuuri sighed in disappointment. “B-but I can do lunch? From twelve till two… y-you can also stop by the coffee shop for dinner?” Yuuri suggested. He was obviously very eager to continue meeting with Victor, despite his busy life.
“Sure. Shall we meet at the desert shop around the corner from the coffee shop at around quarter past one?” Victor asked and Yuuri nodded with another smile.
“Yeah. You have my number now so… you can send me a text if… yeah… so, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Victor smiled brightly again. There was a lot of smiling today.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.”
———————————————————

Chapter Text

Three weeks later…

Victor waited for Yuuri outside the university campus. Soon, a head of disheveled, brunette hair caught his eye. Slipping his phone back in his pocket, Victor smiled, gripping the bouquet of flowers tighter. Sunflowers, to be precise.
“Hi, Yuuri.” Yuuri chuckled.
“You don’t have to bring me flowers every time we meet, you know.” Yuuri’s soft laugh made Victor blush and smile more.
“I know, but I’m leaving soon, so I have to make these last days count.” He sighed. Victor could see Yuuri’s face fall in disappointment.
“I’m gonna miss you, you know.” Yuuri smiled bitterly as they walked.
“I know. I’ll miss you too, but you have my number, my skype details and stuff, so it’ll be alright.” Victor reassured.
“Thanks for erm… being friends with me.” Yuuri said.
“No problem! It’s nice to have had someone to see regularly while I’ve been here.”

Over the past few weeks Yuuri and Victor had grown more comfortable with each other. Well, at least, they weren’t stuttering and stammering over every word.

Victor and Yuuri arrived at a small ramen restaurant to get dinner.
“Say, Yuuri, can I watch your dance practice today?” Victor asked as they sat down.
“Y-you want to watch me dance?” Yuuri returned a question.
“Only if that’s okay with you, of course.” Yuuri’s eyes widened. The worlds greatest figure skater wanted to watch him dance? Wow. That was going to take it’s time to sink into Yuuri’s head.
“I… umm… I g-guess I wouldn’t mind?” Yuuri squeaked. “My practice starts at five thirty so… you can drop by and watch I suppose.” Yuuri swallowed deeply, twiddling his thumbs.
“Really? I’ll come by at half five then. Can I treat you to dinner afterwards? You know, as it’s one of the last times we can have dinner together.” Victor asked sheepishly.
“I think it’s about time I treated you to dinner, Victor.” Yuuri smiled back.
“No, don’t. It’s on me. Besides, you have dance and school to pay for. I can’t have you pay for dinner too.”
“It’s alright, I’ll just be a bit tighter on my spendings.”
“Let me pay for some of your tuition fees.” Victor blurted out.
“V-Victor, what?” Yuuri looked shocked and confused. Victor took a deep breath, taking a moment to compose himself.
“Let me pay for some of your tuition fees.” He repeated, less hastily, this time.
“I… I can’t let you do that…” Yuuri’s voice was quiet and shy, unsure.
“Why?”
“Victor, I’m paying for you to have one meal. You’ve paid for so many for me, and now you want to pay for my school tuition? I can’t let you do that…” Yuuri’s voice was wavering, his heart coming out of his chest.
“I can afford it. I can afford to treat you to dinner, to pay for your school fees, I can.” Victor disputed, pleas evident in his words, but Yuuri shook his head.
“That’s not the point, Victor… I don’t want to… to rely on you…” Yuuri sounded so fragile, so vulnerable.
“Is there… is there a reason you don’t want to rely on me?” Yuuri shook his head rapidly. “Can we discuss this again later? After lunch?” Victor asked again.
“Yes.” Yuuri let out a deep breath he didn’t realise he was holding.

Victor and Yuuri ate lunch, quickly changing the topic of their conversation.

“So, I’ll see you at five after your shift at the cafe?” Victor asked as they stepped out of the restaurant.
“Yeah. The dance studio is a fifteen minute walk away, so I hope you don’t mind.” Yuuri smiled. Victor shook his head.
“It’s no problem.”
“See you later, Victor.”
—————————————————
Victor returned to the Air BnB and immediately, Makkachin pounced on him.
“Makka! I think I’m in love!” Victor wailed to his beloved poodle. “I want to spoil him so much!” Victor added, clutching his heart. Victor flopped onto the bed, Makkachin moving to lie on top of him.
“I just want to treat him to nice things he deserves so much!” Victor sighed again, turning onto his side to pull Makkachin into an embrace.
—————————————————
“He wants to pay for my tuition fees.” Yuuri sighed, brow furrowed as he tied his apron.
“What? Why?” Phichit asked.
“I’m treating him to dinner tonight, and I said I’d just be tighter with my spendings. But he said because I already work and pay for school and pay for dance and I assume he just wants to help out.” Yuuri sighed.
“So? Why did you reject him?” Phichit interrogated.
“You know how I feel about having to rely on people after…” Yuuri sat down, pressing his hands to his face.
“Yuuri. Just let him go! He wasn’t worth your time! He was never worth your time! Let him go and move on!” Phichit wasn’t sure if he wanted to strangle himself or strangle Yuuri.
“I know I need to but… I can’t… something tells me I can’t ever rely on anyone again. I just feel so vulnerable depending on people. Even you, I can’t bring myself to ask you for help when I can’t pay my part of the rent. I’d rather work myself a few more hours.” Yuuri was on the verge of tears. He removed his glasses, placing them on the table.

“Have you told him this? Have you told Victor… about him?” Phichit asked. Yuuri shook his head. “Maybe Victor is the person you’ve been waiting for to open up to. He has a great reputation, he has looks, but most importantly, he seems to really care.” Phichit said, giving his perspective.
“But so did… So did Ryan.”
“No. I saw that something wasn’t right with Ryan, but I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to wrongly assume anything. But forget about him. Now we’re focusing on Victor.” Phichit disputed.
“You’re right. If he brings it up again maybe… but… is it too early to be telling him that?” Yuuri finally lifted his head from his hands.
“That’s for you to decide. Now. Let’s get to work. You’re going to do your shift, take Victor to dinner, let him watch you dance, and you’re going to enjoy yourself.” Phichit stood up and ruffled Yuuri’s hair before walking out of the break room.
—————————————————
“Hey.” Victor smiled tenderly, scarf wrapped tight around his neck and coat buttoned all the way up.
“Hey yourself.” Yuuri smiled back, just as lovingly. “Shall we go?” Yuuri asked and Victor nodded, turning to follow Yuuri. They came to a busy crossing and immediately Yuuri grabbed Victor’s hand without even thinking, leading him across the road. Victor’s heart immediately leapt, his breath hitching and face pinking. They reached the other side of the crossing.
“Sorry!!” Yuuri’s face turned bright red and he immediately let go. “S-sorry, I didn’t realise! Sorry i-if I made you… uncomfortable…” Yuuri gritted his teeth and looked at the floor. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri turned to keep walking. Quickly, Victor grabbed his hand. Yuuri looked back, eyes wide and shocked.
“I-I didn’t mind…” Victor said, his breath trembling. “I don’t mind at all…” Victor gripped tightly onto Yuuri’s hand, both flustered and blushing.

A few minutes later Victor stopped.
“Your hands are cold.” Releasing Yuuri’s hand, Victor slipped his own hands into his pocket and pulled out a pair of leather gloves. “Put these on.”
“T-thank you.” Yuuri smiled as he slipped them on before grabbing Victor’s hand again.

Victor and Yuuri arrived at the dance studio.
“Yuuri! Nice to see yo— VICTOR NIKIFOROV?!” Minako screeched. Victor smiled sheepishly. “H-how did you… with V-Victor Nikiforov…” Minako squeaked.
“Erm… he’s a friend…” Yuuri shyly smiled. “A-anyway! I’m going to get changed… so…” Yuuri quickly rushed off to the changing rooms.

“Are you… dating?” Minako asked as soon as Yuuri left the room.
“N-no! No, that’s not it, we’re just… friends…” Victor stuttered, his cheeks pinking. Minako smiled.
“Treat him well. He deserves only the best.” Victor raised a questioning eyebrow. “Yuuri has trust issues.” Minako started. “He’s built up these four concrete walls. No one truly knows everything about him. Not his best friend, not me, not even his mother.” Victor hadn’t realised Yuuri was such a closed off person. “He refuses to rely on anyone for help to do anything. When he can’t pay his rent, he’d rather work until he collapses rather than ask for help. It happens more often than he cares to admit. When he needs advice he’d rather let his anxiety disorder chew him up from the inside out rather than ask for help.” Victor also never knew Yuuri had an anxiety disorder, either. “When he hides in the bathroom to cry to himself before a performance he’d rather cry alone in silence than have someone comfort him.” Minako continued.

“Is there a reason he’s so closed off?” Victor asked. Minako nodded.
“I won’t tell, because it’s not for me to say. I will tell you it had him on a cocktail of antidepressants and anxiety meds. But that’s Yuuri’s story to tell. If he ever wants to tell you, he will.” Victor looked shocked. Yuuri has… depression too? “So I mean what I said. Treat him well.” Victor took a moment to process the information.
“Minako-san, please let me pay for Yuuri’s dance fees.” Victor said sternly.
“Eh? Why?” Minako asked.
“Yuuri works so hard. He refuses all help, he has to pay for school and dance with his job. So please let me cover his dance fees!” Victor pleaded and Minako sighed.
“Alright. Pass me your card and I’ll transfer payment details.” Victor reached for his wallet and passed Minako his debit card. She walked off, and at that moment Yuuri returned in his skin tight dance wear.

Minako soon returned and walked over to the CD player and slid in Yuuri’s music track.
Victor thought about what Minako had said. There was still so much to Yuuri that he didn’t know. There were so many doors still closed, and Victor wondered how many of them he’d be able to open. He watched intensely as Yuuri danced. As a figure skater, Victor tried to interpret Yuuri’s choreography into words, but just as he’d found out, Yuuri was very quiet and secretive, and much like Yuuri himself, his dancing wasn’t going to be telling Victor much either.
Yuuri is a beautiful dancer. He was elegant, graceful, yet sharp. Sharp and telling. Every move covered an element of an untold story, a story that obviously threw Yuuri into a pit of darkness. Yuuri was amazing. Victor couldn’t stop gawping and staring. He was breathtaking.

“So? Did you enjoy watching me dance?” Yuuri asked as they exited the studio.
“You were flawless.” Victor smiled as he took Yuuri’s hand in his. “Now let’s go for dinner.”
—————————————————
“Yuuri I have something to tell you.” Victor brought up free they’d finished.
“What is it?” Yuuri started to get worried. That couldn’t be good. Although, he should be used to it. Every good thing that happens to him ends, doesn’t it? So it shouldn’t surprise him that Victor doesn’t want to keep in contact with him or something like that.
“I paid for your dance tuition.” Yuuri’s face went from confusion, to shock, to sadness. He was about to interrupt him. “Please hear me out. I want to help you. I know you don’t like receiving help, but Minako told me you’d rather work until you collapse to pay for everything rather than ask for help. She said that happens quite a lot. It’s not healthy to work until you collapse, so I thought if I helped you out you don’t have to do that.” Yuuri sat staring at the table.

“I’m disappointed.” Yuuri looked up, tears in his eyes. “You disrespected my wishes not to have financial help. I appreciate the gesture, Victor. I really do. And I know I should be happy, but I can’t help but feel like I’ll be a burden to you.” Yuuri said.
“I’m sorry.” Victor apologised, digging his nails into his palms as his fists clenched.
“It’s okay. I have to go now, I forgot to tell Phichit I’d be having dinner with you, so… I’d better go home.” Yuuri stood up.
“Would you like me to walk back with you?” Yuuri shook his head.
“It’s fine. I’ll be okay.” Yuuri pulled a sad smile.
“Then… can I treat you to lunch tomorrow? Before my flight?” Victor added. What? Victor was leaving tomorrow?! Yuuri’s eyes widened at the sudden realisation.
“Oh… yeah. Okay. See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow.”

Yuuri left the restaurant almost in tears. It’s not that he wasn’t grateful but… did Victor really have to make him feel worse about his financial situation. Yuuri clenched his fists, gritting his teeth as he left.

Chapter Text

Yuuri flopped on the couch and cried. Why was Victor so kind to him? It wasn’t the fact that Victor had helped him without his approval that hurt him. Oh no, he was so eternally thankful for the help. But he couldn’t help but think that Victor had some kind of other ulterior motive for helping. That is what upset him. These walls. These walls that Yuuri had built around himself, to protect himself, Victor was trying break them down. No. Yuuri couldn’t let that happen. These walls had been built to keep people away. To keep himself from being hurt. Yet, Victor was trying so hard to bring them down, to bring down these barriers. But why? Why was Victor so desperate to help him? He was nothing special. Just a dancer whose anxiety ridden state meant he’d never be able to pursue a dance career. But Victor, Victor was a legend. He had everything – success, fame, happiness… everything Yuuri could ever want and more.
—————————————————
Victor needed to know what had rendered Yuuri so resistant to people. He collapsed on the bed, pulling Makkachin close. What was it that had Yuuri spiralling so far into a pit of his own irrational beliefs? Why was he being pushed away? Victor knew that Yuuri was grateful for his help, very grateful. But he couldn’t figure out what it was that was stopping him from accepting aid. Why was it so difficult to get through to Yuuri? He pulled out his phone.

To: Yuuri
Sorry for overstepping any boundaries…

Victor anticipated a reply for what seemed like hours.
—————————————————
“He paid for my dance fees.” Yuuri said as Phichit walked in.
“Oh.”
“I already told him I didn’t want him to pay for any tuition or fees of any kind for me, but he paid it without even asking.” Yuuri gritted his teeth, trying to keep the tears from falling. “It just… I don’t even know what I’m angry about. I’m so angry about it!” Yuuri exclaimed. “I’m upset that he went against my wishes, completely disregarding them, but I’m more upset about the fact that he felt the need to pity me. Pity me because I work a minimum wage job, trying to pay rent, dance, and school.” Yuuri let his tears fall.
“I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that. He just wants to help you, Yuuri. For goodness sake, you work until you faint, you’re so tight on your spendings that you’d rather live of a loaf of bread and some water for a week rather than ask for help. I know you don’t like being pitied, and I know you don’t like owing others. But if he’s willing to drop however much your dance fees are each month, then let him. Let him in.” At that moment, Yuuri’s phone pinged. He pulled it out.

“It’s from Victor.”
“What does it say?”
“Sorry for overstepping any boundaries.” Yuuri read aloud.
“See, it’s obvious that he genuinely cares about you. I can’t force you to open up to you, but I can nudge you in the right direction.” Phichit smiled, ruffling his hair.
“What should I reply with?” Yuuri asked, beginning to sound slightly panicked.
“Tell him it’s okay, and that you’re just upset. Don’t forget to tell him you’re grateful for paying your dance fees.”
“But what if—“ Phichit covered Yuuri’s mouth with his hand.
“It’s going to be fine.” He reassured.
“Thanks, Peach. You’re amazing.” Yuuri smiled before typing out his reply.

To: Victor
No, it’s okay – I’m just a little upset. I’m very grateful for you paying for my dance fees. Thank you :)
YK
—————————————————
Victor’s phone went off and immediately he shot up to read it. A message from Yuuri. Victor sighed in relief, and opened it. At least if it was something bad, Yuuri had taken the time to reply rather than ignore him.

Victor read the text and smiled slightly. It was evident to Victor that Yuuri was a complex person. Who else would be upset about someone else paying for their dance fees so they didn’t have to work until they collapse? Victor didn’t understand him, but already he could tell that Yuuri’s dance fees were not going to be the topic of their last lunch together. Victor sighed and decided to just drop the topic for now to avoid upsetting Yuuri anymore.
—————————————————
Victor waited outside Yuuri’s campus, holding a ridiculously sized bouquet of daisies.
“Wow what did you do to your girlfriend?” Someone walked passed him. Victor snorted.
“Something pretty bad.” He sighed to himself as the stranger walked by.
Soon, a head of ruffled brunette hair caught the corner of his eye, and began to approach him. Putting on his best smile, Victor turned towards him, holding the bouquet of daisies in one hand, and Makkachin in the other. Yuuri snorted.
“Victor, I’m really not sure what to do with the many bouquets of flowers I’ve received from you.” Yuuri smiled softly.
“This ones an “I’m sorry I messed up” bouquet.” Victor smiled sheepishly, furrowing his brow slightly. Yuuri didn’t know what to say.
“I—“ Yuuri was going to say something, but he stopped himself. “I really appreciate these, Victor. You paying for my fees, apologising to me, I really appreciate it, but… Let’s not… let’s not talk about that on our last lunch together.” Yuuri sighed sadly. Victor wanted to talk about it, but he’d already defied Yuuri’s wishes once.
“Is there anywhere in particular you want to go for lunch today?” Yuuri asked, changing the direction of the conversation.
“You pick. It’s our last lunch before I leave, so I think you should pick.” Victor smiled, following Yuuri’s lead.
—————————————————
Of course, Yuuri chose the place that bought them together – the coffee shop.
“So… you’re leaving today. What time’s your flight?” Yuuri asked quietly once they’d settled down, Makkachin perched at his feet.
“At ten tonight, so I have to be at the airport by seven. I still have to pack and book a taxi for half five.” Victor sighed sadly. Yuuri’s face fell.
“I thought I could accompany you to the airport but I have a rehearsal for my recital tonight.” Yuuri also sighed.
“It’s okay. I’ll be alright. I can text you when I’m home again.” He reassured.

“So… will you be coming back?” Yuuri asked, a little bit of hopefulness present in the way his voice carried.
“I’m not sure… I would like to, but I have competitions and training between March and April. I already skipped out on Russian Nationals.” Yuuri looked disappointed.
“Oh…” Yuuri didn’t really know what to say.
“Would you like me to come back?” Victor asked, the question a serious one, rather than one to tease.
“I… I’ve really enjoyed your company over the last few weeks. I’ve been very lonely in the past, and I’d grown accustomed to it but having you here has—“ Yuuri quickly covered his mouth as he almost blurted out a love confession, his palms sweaty and his heart racing. Victor perked up as Yuuri suddenly stopped.
“Yuuri? Are you okay?” Victor asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.” He let out a sigh of relief.

“Can we talk about something?” Victor asked after they had finished and Victor had paid the bill. He sat looking down at the table as Yuuri’s face seemed to sour.
“If it’s about the dance fees, I’d rather not talk about it.” Yuuri said firmly.
“But why? It’s clearly upset you but you won’t tell me why?” Victor let out an exasperated sigh.
“It doesn’t matter why it upset me! I’m very grateful you’ve paid for them, I really am and I really appreciate having you so can we just leave it at that?!” Yuuri accidentally shouted. Victor froze up, body tensing as his throat closed up.
“Sorry for asking.” Victor said in a quiet voice as he stood up. “I have to go now, I still need to pack and get Makkachin checked in at quarantine before I can go.” Victor wrapped his scarf around his neck and picked up Makkachin’s leash.
“Victor wait—“
“I’ll text you when I get back home. Bye, Yuuri.” He said, slightly cold. Not that Yuuri didn’t deserve the cold shoulder though.
“Victor—“ Yuuri wanted to follow him, but his legs simply wouldn’t move. He watched as Victor left the café. Face collapsing on the table, tears began to fall from his eyes.

Chapter Text

Yuuri skipped class and went straight home, immediately locking himself in his room. He sat on the bed, back against the headboard and knees drawn up, burying his face in them.
Yuuri looked at the time on his phone and snorted. Only two-thirty. Of course Victor wanted to leave early. He threw his phone down on the bed.
Sliding down the mattress, Yuuri pulled the blanket over his head and closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep. Instead though, Yuuri found tears flooding his face, silently falling down his red, stained cheeks. Yuuri knew he should have declined that first offer of dinner four weeks ago – this is almost exactly how his last relationship started; with a dinner date.
See, this is why Yuuri vowed never to fall in love again – because either he’d fuck everything up, or because he would get hurt. Crazy how the tables turn, huh.

Phichit came home after class.
“Yuuri?” He called. “Yuuri?” Phichit knocked on the door, but stopped as he heard rigid sniffles cease. “Can I come in?” He asked quietly. Yuuri mumbled something that sounded like permission. Gently, Phichit nudged open the door to find what looked like a giant marshmallow piled on Yuuri’s bed. Phichit sat on the edge of the bed.
“Wanna tell me what’s up?” Phichit asked. The mound shook. Phichit took that as a know. “Wanna come out? We’ll drink hot chocolate, put on a Disney movie, eat shit till we get fat…” The heap shook again. “You want me to bring you a drink?” Again, the mound shook. “You want me to come back later?” Yuuri let out another sound, so Phichit took that as a yes. “Do you want me to wake you up for your dance rehearsal?” Another sound of approval. “I’ll come back later. Please drink something, and tell me what’s up when you’re ready.” Phichit stood up and went to the door, about to leave.

“I fucked up…” A quiet voice trembled from beneath the pile of blankets and soft toys. Phichit sat back down on the bed. “I fucked up so bad and now he never wants to talk to me again…” Yuuri released choked sobs, squeezing the blanket between his fingers and biting his cheek.
“What makes you say that?” Phichit asked.
Yuuri tried so hard to hold back his sobs.

“Pathetic…” That voice rang in his head. “He never wants to talk to you again.” Oh no, it was going to be a long night. “Undeserving of love.” Yuuri’s deepest insecurities began to surface in the form of an internal mantra. “Of course you would fuck up. What did you expect, trying to land a date with a famous figure skater.” Everything Yuuri feared the most began to surface. Abandonment, betrayal, manipulation, disloyalty… Ahh, yeah. They were truly why Yuuri vowed to never fall in love again. The voice inside his head chanted his deepest fears. Yuuri began to tremble, to shake. He clutched so hard at the blanket, tugging it with such force that it was a surprise it hadn’t torn or ripped.

Phichit immediately left the room to grab a bottle of water and a straw, and Yuuri’s concoction of pills. He tugged back the blanket and was met with resistance. Giving one last hard tug, he immediately exposed Yuuri’s most frail, vulnerable form. Phichit tipped out a couple of pills from each bottle, and held them out for Yuuri to take.
“Come on, Yuuri. You need these.” Yuuri’s shaking body tried to sit up as Phichit slipped the pills into his mouth before opening the bottle of water and slipping the straw in.
Yuuri took a sip of the water and swallowed the pills, shutting the voices out as Phichit gave him a few minutes to collect himself.

A few minutes later, Yuuri’s breathing had evened out. Tears were barely staining his red, blotchy cheeks. He fully sat up and leaned against the wall, pulling the blanket around him.
“So? What happened?” Phichit’s tender, motherly voice asked.
“I shouted at him.” Phichit looked taken aback.
“Why?”
“He wouldn’t stop asking about… about the dance fees… I just wanted him to drop it and not ask but he kept asking and…” Yuuri bit the inside of his cheek to stop the tears falling.
“Did you actually give him a straight answer when he first asked, though?” Phichit asked and Yuuri thought back before shaking his head.
“Just told him I didn’t want to rely on him…” Yuuri mumbled, burying his face in his arms. Phichit sighed with a soft smile.
“Did you tell him why?” Yuuri shook his head again. “I think he is wrong to keep asking, but I think he’s just concerned, worried.” Yuuri looked up at him, like a confused lamb. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“But I hurt him! I yelled at him and then he just got up and left! He just left… and now I’ll never see him again…” Yuuri laughed bitterly. “I knew I should have refused that first dinner offer…” Tears began to stream down his cheeks again, his fists clutching at the blanket. All Phichit could do was comfort him, and let Yuuri cry out on his shoulder.
Yuuri cried until his head throbbed and his eyes were dry before lifting his head.
“Sorry about your shirt.”
“No worries. Get some sleep, I’ll wake you up for dance. I think you need that distraction. Don’t forget to drink some water.” Yuuri nodded and slid back into the covers, feeling slightly better.
—————————————————
Victor collapsed down onto the bed, Makkachin jumping on top of him. Silent tears fell from the corners of Victor’s eyes, slowly trickling down his cheeks. He gave a bitter huff. Of course, the one man he has his eye on and he totally fucks up. He should have known not to keep asking. After a few minutes of silent moping, Victor sat up.
“I’m okay.” He patted Makkachin’s head before moving off the bed to pack. “We have to be off early, gotta get you checked in at quarantine.” Victor smiled. At that moment, his phone pinged. He secretly hoped it would be Yuuri, but after what happened Victor highly doubted it. Sighing, he unlocked his phone.

From: Chris Jackoffmetti
To: Victor

How’d your last date with sunshine boy go ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Seen by Victor 2:35pm

Victor ignored the text and shut off his phone and continued to pack.
Not long later, Victor was off to the airport to drop Makkachin off at quarantine to be checked and loaded.

After dropping Makkachin off at quarantine, Victor checked in himself in, did some shopping, and got something to eat. All while thinking about Yuuri. Victor sighed. It was his fault for being so nosey, after all. He should have just accepted that Yuuri didn’t want to answer. Victor sat outside a random gate, two hours early for his flight. Victor moped to himself, thinking about how Yuuri must be feeling after Victor just got up and left. Through the café window, Victor saw Yuuri, saw him bury his face in his arms, saw him cry. Victor was ridden over with guilt. His phone vibrating pulled him from his thoughts.

“Hey Chris.” He sighed.
“I’m assuming that with your exasperated sigh and leaving me on seen mean your date didn’t go well.”
“I don’t think he ever wants to see me again.” Victor mumbled.
“Oh? And why’s that?”
“I fucked up… I… I kept pestering him about why he didn’t want me to pay for his dance fees. I’m just worried… his dance instructor told me that something had happened before that made Yuuri the way he is now. He doesn’t trust anyone, it took me forever to get him to even slightly open up to me.” Victor practically wailed. Chris sighed.
“Wow. Victor, you’re very out going, and from what I can tell, Yuuri’s very shy. It’s taken him so long to open up to you, yet you’ve been pestering him over and over to tell you why he doesn’t want help. You know it’s something to do with what his dance instructor told you, so why do you keep asking?” Chris said, in the nicest possible way.
“I don’t know… I really want to know what happened… not because I’m nosey, but because it obviously still affects him and… I just want to understand…” Victor let out a deep, stressed sigh.
“There’s no way you could understand by being pushy, Victor.” Chris said.
“I know.”
“Tell him you’re home when you get back, and if he doesn’t reply, or if it sounds like he doesn’t want to talk to you, give it a few days before texting again.” Chris advised as Victor sighed again.
“You’re right. Thanks. I’m gonna go to my gate now, so… I’ll text when I get home.” Victor said with a tired smile.
“I’ll let you go. See you, mon chéri!”

Victor made his way to the gate and sat down. He contemplated sending Yuuri a text to say he’d be flying soon, but he figured he’d just leave it.
—————————————————
“Yuuri, it’s quarter past five.” Phichit came into Yuuri’s room to wake him up. Yuuri rose from his bed, feeling slightly less mopey and bad.
Hauling himself out of bed, Yuuri concealed his dark circles and gathered his things.
“I’ll see you later, Phichit.”

Chapter Text

Minako turned the camera on and set it at the side, before sliding Yuuri’s disc into the stereo. Yuuri stepped into position in the middle of the studio and took a deep breath as the music started. Minako stood and watched, observing Yuuri’s dancing. Something seemed… different. The way Yuuri expressed himself was much different to how he normally would have. To Minako, Yuuri seemed much more… connected to the role of Odette.
Odette was a beautiful princess who was cursed to be a swan by day, but human by night. A lonely swan, as one could imagine. Yuuri seemed lonely. Minako could see that something had happened that changed the way Yuuri danced, and she couldn’t tell whether it was good, or bad.
The story follows Odette, who falls in love with Prince Siegfried. They go to the ball together, until morning when she goes back to turn into a swan. Siegfried, on a search for her, encounters Odile, who seems to be the twin of Odette. When Siegfried falls in love with Odile, Odette is cursed as a swan forever. Siegfried, realising his mistake, begs for forgiveness.

Yuuri was able to transfer his feelings into the story of The Swan Lake, and more specifically, into his role of Odette. Yuuri is perfect. Everything about this piece is perfect, but that’s what concerned Minako. Yuuri had tried for so long to be able to absorb himself into the role of Odette, but suddenly, he comes in, and is perfectly tuned in to her?
Every gentle swing of his arm, every turn of his leg, and every bend of his back expressed not only the feelings of Odette, but also… himself. They reflected Yuuri’s own feelings, and Minako wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad, but she could have a good guess at it. Had Victor Nikiforov hurt him already? Literally a day after her lecture? Minako sighed to herself with a disapproving face.

After Yuuri finished, Minako called him over.
“Yuuri, come here.” Yuuri nodded and made his way over. “Is there anything you’d like to talk about?” She asked. Yuuri froze up. Of course something like dancing away his feelings wouldn’t get past Minako. Yuuri could feel his nose flare and his eyes sting with tears. He shook his head.
“No… no… I’m okay.” He replied quietly. Really, Minako should have known he wouldn’t have told her. Reaching out, she gently ruffled his hair.
“My door is always open if you wanna talk about anything.” Yuuri sniffled and nodded.
“Thank you…” he mumbled.
“Let’s look at the tape. You tell me if you see anything you want to improve, or if you see anything you have improved.” Minako removed the SD card from the camera and plugged it into the computer, opening up the file.

Yuuri and Minako looked through the tape.
“My transition is much smoother here than it was last time.” Yuuri pointed out and Minako wrote it down.
“Here, my leg comes up smoother, and back down with less hesitation.” Again, Minako wrote it down.
“Have you noticed anything about your face?” Minako asked and Yuuri gave her a confused look. Yuuri paid close attention.
“I’m… not seeing…?”
“You have much more expression now than you did before. You had trouble connecting with this piece, but now it’s near perfect.” Minako said. Yuuri’s eyes widened in realisation. He connects with Odette’s loneliness. He’s fallen in love with a prince, much like Odette, who has slipped through his fingers.
“This piece… the way you dance it, says a lot about you. You as a person, your feelings, and your story. Now that you’ve managed to connect with it, and properly analyse it, go and sort out your issues with him.” Minako smiled.
“How did you know—“ Yuuri asked before he was interrupted.
“You don’t think I’ve taught you to dance since you were three years old, taught you to express yourself through dance, and known you all your life, to not be able to read your dancing, do you?” Minako said sarcastically with a half smile. Yuuri smiled back, before it faded.

“But… I don’t think I can.” Yuuri sighed.
“And why is that?” Minako asked. Yuuri stayed quiet. “You don’t have to tell me, but I will tell you it’s time for you to start opening up a bit more.” Minako said as she stood up. Yuuri looked up at her. “I know you think he’s way out of your league, but how would you know if you haven’t tried?”
“I don’t like him like that. We’re just friends. If that anymore.” Yuuri quietly mumbled that last bit.
“You can lie to everyone you want, Yuuri, but you’re only lying to yourself.” She teased as Yuuri flushed as red as a tomato.
“Look. I can tell you’re upset about something, and it’s definitely to do with him. So go chase him.” Minako said as Yuuri looked at her like a lost child.
—————————————————
Victor made himself comfortable in his seat before connecting to the WiFi. He plugged his earphones into the TV screen and pulled up a cheesy movie to lift his spirits.
Part way through his seven hour flight, Victor fell asleep, head resting on the window and earphones still in.
The truth is, Victor is a lonely man. He has fame, he has money, he has fans, he has success… but the only one truly there for him is Makkachin, his lifetime companion. His apartment is cold, full of empty space. No one else has ever stepped foot in Victor Nikiforov’s apartment, and as far as Victor was concerned, no one was ever going to. Or so he thought. Victor met who he thought was the literal man of his dreams. Cute, shy, secretly talented… Everything Victor could ever want and more. But what if he didn’t want Victor?

Victor awoke near the end of his flight. He watched as the plane descended, back to the cold and lonely place he’s always called “home”. He gathered his things and stepped off the plane before going straight to the luggage carousel.
Makkachin had to be quarantined for a few hours before he could be collected. With a sigh, Victor decided to drop his stuff off back at home and then return for Makkachin.

After Victor finally actually made it home, he collapsed on his bed, pulling Makkachin into his arms.

To: Yuuri
I’m home now. Makkachin misses you :)

VN

After shooting a quick text off to Yuuri, Victor reinstalled all social media apps and checked his twitter. While he’d been gone, an article seemed to have emerged, along with texts from his rink mates.

From: Angry Tiger
OLD MAN. Check your phone.

From: Angry Tiger
WHERE ARE YOU

From: Mila
Have you seen this?

From: Yakov
We’re going to have a nice long talk when you get back.

Victor sighed and opened the article.

Has Victor Nikiforov met a significant other?
Images have recently emerged of famous Russian figure skater Victor Nikiforov and a mystery man. Nikiforov has yet to reveal where he has been since he disappeared from the world’s eye a month ago, but these images seem to have been taken in Japan.

There it was. A clear photo of Victor handing a bouquet of of camellia flowers to Yuuri.

Victor sighed again. Great, how he had to explain this to Yuuri.

To: Yuuri
This seems to have emerged since I’ve been gone and I thought you should know about it. Sorry for inconvenience…
//Victor attached a link//
VN

Chapter Text

Yuuri woke up the next morning to two texts from Victor.

From: Victor
I’m home now. Makkachin misses you :)
VN

From: Victor
This seems to have emerged since I’ve been gone and I thought you should know about it. Sorry for inconvenience…
//Victor attached a link//
VN

Yuuri furrowed his brow, hesitantly opening the article.

Has Victor Nikiforov met a significant other?
Images have recently emerged of famous Russian figure skater Victor Nikiforov and a mystery man. Nikiforov has yet to reveal where he has been since he disappeared from the world’s eye a month ago, but these images seem to have been taken in Japan.

Yuuri’s heart pounded as he read on. There was a crisp picture of Victor handing him the bouquet of camellia flowers. He gripped tightly onto his phone as he felt his nose turn red and his eyes begin to water.

To: Victor
Glad you’re home safe. I miss Makkachin too (´;ω;`)

To: Victor
Oh…

Yuuri felt his hands begin to shake and his heart begin to pound. What if people found out who he was? What if people recognised him? Would he receive death threats? Yuuri couldn’t stop overthinking. He definitely should have declined that first dinner offer. Yuuri’s throat began to close up at the thought of being sent nasty comments, or receiving death threats. Reaching for the bedside table, he took out his anxiety medication and took two pills, swallowing them down quickly. Yuuri pulled his knees up to his chest and collected himself before lifting his head from his arms. How had such a beautiful friendship go so downhill so fast?

Yuuri bit the inside of his cheek to stop his tears. If only he knew how famous Victor was before accepting that dinner offer… He quickly turned off his phone and tucked it into the drawer of his bedside table. Yuuri came out of his room looking like an anxious mess.
“Yuuri? Are you okay?” Yuuri’s head shot up.
“Y-yeah I’m… I’m fine…” Yuuri mumbled, trying to avoid anymore of Phichit’s questions.
“Are you sure?” Yuuri felt tears forming in his eyes again. He shook his head. Phichit went and sat down on sofa and patted the seat next to him.
“Come on, talk to Mother Peach.” He smiled. Yuuri chuckled and sat down. “So? What’s up.” Phichit asked. Yuuri pulled out his phone and showed him the article. Phichit took his phone and slowly read through the article. Nothing seemed too suspicious until he saw the image of Victor handing Yuuri a bouquet of camellias.
“Oh… that’s what’s up…” Yuuri nodded.
“H-he sent it to me and I don’t know what to do or what to reply Phichit! What if people start recognising me?!” Yuuri panicked. “We aren’t even dating what if people start assuming things it’ll be bad for both of us! Yeah, I’m still a bit upset at him but I still don’t want to ruin his career like this…” Yuuri mumbled. “How did this start going downhill…” he took a deep, shaky breath.
“This isn’t your fault, Yuuri. Alright? You aren’t going to ruin his career with this. He had the decency to send this to you, wouldn’t it have been worse if you’d found out yourself and found out he hadn’t told you?” Yuuri sniffled as Phichit pulled him a tissue.
“B-but what if… what if he doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore? First I shouted at him, and now… now this! What if he just wants me out of his life and never wants to talk to me again…”

“Yuuri, Yuuri. Take a deep breath.” Yuuri took a slow inhale, holding it before releasing. “Now. If he didn’t want to be your friend anymore, do you think he would have let you know he was home?” Yuuri shook his head. “And do you think he’d have had the decency to send you the article?” Again, Yuuri shook his head.
“Right. So, leave it a few days, let yourself cool off, and then try and talk to him again. Just send him a text to tell him you need some time to think about the article.” Phichit ruffled his hair.
“Thanks, Peach.” Yuuri smiled wearily.
—————————————————
Victor’s phone pinged and immediately he scrambled to grab it. A new text from Yuuri. With a shaky hand, he unlocked his phone.

From: Yuuri
Glad you’re home safe. I miss Makkachin too (´;ω;`)

From: Yuuri
Oh…

Victor waited patiently for Yuuri to say something else. Yuuri must have something else to say about the article, right? It felt like hours. Victor wished that if Yuuri didn’t want to talk to him ever again he’d just say so. Maybe he was just over thinking things. Yuuri is fragile, like a vase. He knew that Yuuri would have no ill intentions, no matter what he did. But that’s what kept him on edge. Restless and irritable, Victor sent another text.

To: Yuuri
I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please say something…
VN

Victor couldn’t stop worrying. Had he just ruined their friendship? Great, there goes any chance of tapping that ass. He buried his face into a pillow and whined, pulling Makkachin to his side.
“Makkachin… what do I do…” he whimpered into the poodle’s fur. He pulled his phone out and phoned Chris.
“Have you—“
“Yes… I have… I don’t think he wants to talk to me.” Victor was on the verge of tears. “Chris, help me! What do I do?” Dammit, Victor was so whipped for Yuuri.
“Alright first of all, chillax. You’ve just hit a shy, quiet boy with an article with his face clear as day in it. Not only that, he didn’t even know who you were when you first met. Chill out and give him some time. He’s probably just as worried about you as you are about him.” Chris tried to reassure him, but tears just flowed down Victor’s cheeks.
“Oh? Is the skating legend with a stone cold heart crying?” Chris teased, before sighing.
“You’ve already texted him, okay? Let him have some space. Honestly, you’re hopeless.” Chris sighed again.
“Chrisssss! So mean! I’m wounded…!” Victor whined.
“Yes, yes, I wound you. I have training now so I’ll leave you to mope for now. Ciao!”
“See ya…” Victor sighed again before cutting the call.

And again, Victor was alone. Lonely. It was a common theme in his life, wasn’t it? First, his father left. Then, his mother left. And now? The man he has fallen in love with doesn’t even want to speak to him anymore. Victor should have expected this, shouldn’t he? Because in his life, all good things come to an end. Victor laughed to himself bitterly. Was he really that difficult to love?

“Sorry Victor. You’re just too… much.”
“We should break up. It’s not working.”
“You know what Victor, you’re so difficult!” Ahh yes, a memory of the things past lovers had ever said to him. Maybe he should just stop trying. It was clear he was far from easy to love.
————————————————
After Yuuri had pulled himself together, he checked his phone.

From: Victor
I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen. Please say something…
VN

Yuuri was about to cry again. Victor seemed like he genuinely cared. It had been a while since Yuuri had had someone in his life who cares. Yeah, there was his family, and Minako, and Phichit, but Victor… Victor was different. It was a different way that he cared, something Yuuri had… had only experienced once. His heart sank and his stomach dropped at the thought that Victor could be just like Ryan. “It doesn’t matter.” He told himself. “We aren’t dating. It doesn’t matter.” Hesitantly, Yuuri typed out a reply.

To: Victor.
Sorry… I need some time to think.
YK

It was a simple text, but Yuuri just hoped Victor didn’t take it the wrong way. Yuuri took a deep breath to clear his head and began to get ready for his morning shift at the café. Hurrying to gather his things, he left hastily.

Yuuri arrived for his shift at the café, looking a little more… down than usual.
“Hey Yuuri, what’s up?” And Yuuri has that feeling, you know the one where you pretend you’re alright, and then someone asks if you’re okay? Yeah, that one. Yuuri almost broke down in tears. Biting his cheek, he shook his head.
“Nothing.” He mumbled before walking off. Yuuko would probably think he was pathetic anyway, crying over such a minor problem. What was he even upset over? Was he upset about Victor leaving? Or the fact that he had left on bad terms? Was it the article? Or even worse, a combination of all three? Yuuri didn’t know if he was going to survive the shift tonight. He had no dinner date to look forward too, no cute poodle to pet, no beautiful flowers to hold… Yuuri seemed to be fighting back more and more tears.

And it was at this point when Yuuri had realised he’d gone completely against his own vows. Yuuri had fallen in love.

Chapter Text

Victor immediately shot up from his sleep and grabbed for his phone when his notification tone sounded. Taking a deep breath, He unlocked his phone.

From: Yuuri
Sorry… I need some time to think.
YK

Victor was about to cry again. Tears pricked his eyes, his nose beginning to turn red as he locked his phone and threw it onto the bed next to him. He turned on his front, burying his face in the pillow. Victor pulled the covers over his head and closed his eyes, sighing deeply. Yuuri, understandably, should be upset, but Victor didn’t expect to be shut out like he was. He supposed Yuuri was just that kind of person. After all, it had taken Yuuri so long to open up to him, that it would be understandable that his first instinct would be to shut him out. Victor tried not to dwell to hard on it, knowing that Yuuri was rather sensitive. Unable to sleep, Victor hauled himself out of bed and grabbed his skates. He’d skate at four in the morning if it meant he could clear his head.

Victor glided aimlessly, the sounds were only of his blades, scratching on the fresh ice. Victor thought about his trip to Japan. About how his need for coffee led him to a cute barista, how that cute barista became his friend, but also, how much about Yuuri that he still didn’t know. Victor frowned to himself. Why was Yuuri so… so complex? Like a jigsaw, only, Victor didn’t have most of the pieces.
—————————————————
Three days had passed since Victor had last heard from Yuuri. Every time Victor’s phone sounded he rushed to it, hoping for it to be Yuuri, and every time he checked, he was just filled with utter disappointment. Maybe Victor should just give up hoping.

“Oi, old man. You disappear for a month, come back and look even worse. What the fuck happened?” Yuri asked, hands shoved in his pockets.
“Nothing.” Victor answered plainly and skated away from him.
“Vitya! Get back to skating! You already skived a month!” Yakov shouted across the ice.
“I’ll come back later tonight.” Victor sighed deeply as he slid his skate guards on and stepped off the ice. Victor just wanted to go home and bury his head in blankets. Dammit, he was perfectly fine until Yuri asked what happened.

Victor couldn’t stop thinking about Yuuri. He was worried sick – he had not contacted him, had not sent him a message to say he was okay, he had simply just ignored Victor. Victor scoffed. Of course the man he had his eye on would eventually walk out. Everyone did, in the end. Everyone left him, walked out on him, abandoned him…
Not just lovers, but his friends, his mother, his father, to them, Victor was just nobody. Victor didn’t know why he expected anything different from Yuuri. He should never have gotten too close, his fear of abandonment was carved far too deep into the roots of his history for him to ever risk trying to find someone to love. At least he could never be abandoned if he was alone, right?

Dammit. How did a man he’d only known for a month even have this effect on him?
—————————————————
Two more days had past and Victor was a mess, to say the least. Worried and upset, he wanted to send Yuuri a text.

To: Yuuri
Are you okay?

But he deleted it. Locking his phone, he tossed it on the bed and pulled Makkachin to his side. Makkachin licked his face.
“Alright, girl. How about dinner and a walk?” Victor sat up, scratching just behind her ears as she panted happily, licking Victor’s face again. Makkachin always put a smile on Victor’s face, gosh, he loved this poodle. Smiling, Victor slid off his bed and led Makkachin out.
“Come on Makka, lets get you fed.” Victor said as Makkachin’s nails tapped on the floor and the pads of her paws quietly patted behind him. Victor filled her food bowl and her water bowl. Victor’s heart filled with adoration as he watched Makkachin eat happily, wolfing down her meal.

Victor went back to his room to grab his phone before coming back out.
“You ready, Makka?” He asked, slipping his shoes, coat, and scarf as Makkachin padded over, sitting obediently at his feet. Victor knelt down, clipping Makkachin’s leash to her collar. Victor slipped his phone into his pocket and stepped out of the apartment, Makkachin obediently following along. They walked around the block, and through a peaceful park trail. Victor was happily coping to Makkachin, extending his lead out to allow him to run a little further when his phone pinged. Victor unlocked it, and it was the last person he ever expected. His palms began to sweat, his heart beating in this throat as he unlocked his phone.

From: Yuuri
I’m sorry… Please Skype me? I have some things I want to say :)
YK

Victor’s heart beat relaxed slightly. Victor smiled to himself, his cheeks pinking.

To: Yuuri
I’m sorry as well… How about in 20 mins time? Just taking Makka out :)
VN
—————————————————
Yuuri had had time to clear his head. To think, think specifically about Victor. Yuuri knew that this man had captured his heart after four short weeks. Even after leaving on a rocky pathway, Yuuri couldn’t stop thinking about him. When he read through their texts his heart began to ache. When he looked at the few remaining bouquets of flowers he’d received tears filled his eyes. But the most precious? When he looked through his camera roll and saw his own smile, cheeks pinked, hazel eyes staring into the camera lovingly. Yes, this man does and will make him happy. But something… something bothered Yuuri. Yuuri couldn’t stop thinking about Victor. God, he must have seemed so ungrateful, he must have really hurt Victor with the things he’d said, the things he did. With his radio silence, Victor must have forgotten about him by now, right? Yuuri’s hands began to shake, but determined, he swallowed the lump of anxiety clouding his judgement, and pulled out his phone.

To: Victor
I’m sorry… Please Skype me? I have some things I want to say :)
YK

Without even thinking, Yuuri hit send, releasing a deep, shaky breath. Yuuri clutched tightly onto his phone, his leg bouncing up and down as he waited and waited for a response. After what seemed like hours, Yuuri’s phone went off. Jerking back to reality, he unlocked his phone. Victor. Yuuri’s mouth widened into a soft smile, but then stopped. What if Victor had rejected his request? Hesitantly, Yuuri held a deep breath and read Victor’s message.

From: Victor
I’m sorry as well… How about in 20 mins time? Just taking Makka out :)
VN

Yuuri couldn’t help but feel giddy and happy inside. Maybe things were going to go in the right direction. Would him and Victor… get together? Would they start dating? Maybe… get married? Adopt children? Yuuri was smiling all through his thoughts. But then… memories of Ryan flooded back. The man who promised Yuuri his eternal love. The man who promised to love him forever. What if… What if Victor turned out to be the same? Yuuri hoped and prayed to God that he wasn’t about to make the same mistake as he did four years ago. Yuuri froze up. What if he ended up in the same vicious cycle? Yuuri tried to stamp back his anxiety ridden thoughts. No. He wasn’t about to let that get to him now. No. Phichit was right. Yuuri was deserving of love, and Yuuri deserved his happy ending.
Quickly, he typed out a response.

To: Victor
20 mins time is fine. Will call soon :)
YK

Yuuri’s heart was on fire. Finally. He’d plucked up the courage to text Victor.

Chapter Text

Yuuri waited the anxious twenty minutes. His mind was running and running and running. All of the worst case scenarios going over and over in his mind, every single doubt he’d ever had came to the surface. All his deepest insecurities wormed their way up. Yuuri felt sick to his stomach. He grabbed a bottle of water, a notepad, and a pen, and got onto the bed, making himself comfortable. He turned on his laptop, anxiously tapping his pen repeatedly to try to calm his nerves. Yuuri’s hands were shaky and cold, the blood vessels surfacing to his skin, paling them. Reaching for his bedside table, he picked up his stress ball – Phichit had bought it for him a few years back for his dance competitions – and squeezed it tightly in his hands. He took a deep, long breath, releasing it slowly. Then his phone sounded. Heart pounding, he read Victor’s message.

From: Victor.
You can call now! :)
VN

Yuuri let out a soft sigh of relief. With gentle, shaking hands, he typed out a response.

To: Victor
Okay. Will call
YK

Hesitantly, Yuuri punched Victor’s Skype details from his phone’s notes, to add him. After being accepted, Yuuri hovered his mouth over the “call” button. Swallowing the lump in his throat, he hit it and removed the blue tack from his webcam. Immediately, Victor picked up.
A head of platinum, messy hair, a pair of bright, turquoise eyes, and a soft, fluffy poodle full of gentle curls came upon the screen. Yuuri took a deep breath, feeling beads of tears form at the corners of his eyes.

“Hi—“ Victor started, before Yuuri immediately cut in.
“I’m sorry…” Yuuri mumbled, his bottom lip quivering.
“F-for what?” Victor asked, sitting up further against the bed.
“For shouting at you… for sounding ungrateful… for ignoring you all week… for being an awful friend…” Yuuri looked down at his thumbs, twiddling them. Victor smiled, sighing softly.
“Yuuri, it’s okay, really. I understand why you’re upset, and really, it’s my fault. I should have just… respected your wish to not have me pay, but instead I went against that. And I’m sorry for being pushy and asking.” Victor calmly apologised, as Yuuri’s hazel eyes looked up at him.
“I was… I was awfully rude and disrespectful to you and you don’t deserve that kind of attitude at all…” Yuuri almost cried. “You must have thought I was horrible…” Yuuri muttered, glancing down at his thumbs.
“Yuuri, really, it’s fine. I don’t see you as anything less.” Victor smiled.
“It’s not fine! I was horrible to you! I was angry and frustrated, but instead, I should have just sucked up my pride and been grateful instead.” Tears were staining Yuuri’s red cheeks.
“I understand Yuuri, but I’m not upset with you.” Victor smiled that soft, comforting smile. At that moment, Makkachin’s puffy cheeks came onto the screen.
“Woah! Makka! Down girl!” Victor chuckled.
“Hey, Makka.” Yuuri smiled tenderly.
“She misses you.” Victor said, gently tugging Makkachin to sit next to him.
“I miss her too.” Yuuri softly smiled back.

“I, erm… so how are you?” Victor asked, gently ruffling Makkachin’s soft curls.
“Surviving.” Yuuri snorted. “Minako says I’ve finally got my role in The Swan Lake perfect though, so that’s a good start. How are you?”
“Oh! Whose role do you play? I love The Swan Lake! I’m just tired at the moment.” Victor replied with a soft sigh, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.
“Odette. Her character really intrigued me, and so does her story. I suppose I kind of see myself in her – lonely, and isolated. She keeps to herself a lot, though, not by choice. I thin she’s very like me, with the way she feels, and her past.” Yuuri sighed with a frown. “It took literally forever to connect with her but Minako says I’ve got it now, so I just have to keep practicing it to keep it perfect. I think when I began to realise that she was similar to me, I began to be able to… present her better. Sorry, I’m rambling…” Yuuri squeaked. “When do you start back training?” Yuuri asked.
“Don’t worry, I love hearing about your dance stories!” Victor said. “I started back the other day but… I’m just not really motivated. I think I need to find some inspiration…” Victor continued. Then, he had a thought. “Yuuri!” Yuuri’s head jerked up in full attention.
“Yes?”
“Wouldn’t it be great if I skated to the same piece you dance to!” Victor suggested with his infamous heart shaped grin.
“What?! But you don’t have long to come up with a choreography!” Yuuri exclaimed, and Yuuri learnt something new. Victor was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy.
“I’m gonna do that! Maybe for the exhibition though…” Victor thought again.

“Oh, right! So when is your show?” Victor asked, changing the subject.
“Well we had one a couple of weeks ago, but I’m not casted for the next one until March? Sixteenth.” Yuuri confirmed as he pulled up the calendar on his laptop.
“Oh! Good luck! You’ll be great!” Victor cheered, mimicking a clap with a grin.
“When’s your next competition?” Yuuri asked.
“European Championships in a few weeks time, so I have decent time to prepare a new choreograph for the exhibition.” Victor replied, Makkachin moving to rest her chin in his lap.
“Oh wow, maybe I’ll start watching some figure skating!” Yuuri chuckled softly.
“You should – my beautiful face is all over it.” Victor flirted with a wink. Yuuri immediately flushed a furious bright red, blood rushing up to his face.
“I— erm… y-yeah…” Yuuri smiled sheepishly, still furiously blushing.

Meanwhile, Victor was having a sneaky google of Yuuri’s dance show. Smiling to himself, he found it. March sixteenth.
“How’s uni?” Victor asked to keep the conversation running.
“It’s okay, I guess… I have some assignments due in soon though that I’m still not finished with.” Yuuri sighed. “I don’t even know how I’m gonna get them all done in time – I haven’t even gotten to the conclusion yet!” Yuuri sighed to himself.
“Oh… would you like me to leave so you can finish them?” Victor asked with concern. Quickly, Yuuri shook his head.
“No! Please… stay…” Yuuri mumbled, staring at his keyboard, cheeks pink.
“How about you do them now, and we can just sit quietly for a bit while you work? That way you can talk to me when you want, but I won’t be disturbing you!” Victor suggested with a smile.
“Are you sure? You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to…” Yuuri added quietly.
“Yeah. Go ahead.” Victor smiled tenderly. Yuuri smiled back and pulled up his assignments, quietly working through them.

About half an hour in to Yuuri’s quiet study session, he groaned.
“Is everything alright?” Victor asked, looking up from the book he’d been reading.
“Yeah… just struggling to word the start of this paragraph…” Yuuri sighed.
“Well what do you want to say?” Victor asked.
“I’m trying to evaluate Eysenck’s personality theory, but I’m struggling to link everything together. I have ideas but… I can’t link them to make it flow.” Yuuri sighed deeply again.
“You’re studying psychology?” Victor asked, and Yuuri nodded sheepishly.
“I didn’t really have any faith in my career as a dancer so… yeah.” Yuuri bitterly huffed.

Victor sighed softly.
“Yuuri. I really think you’re a wonderful dancer. You’re expressive and elegant, and talented too. I firmly believe you’re amazing. Have you thought about submitting an audition tape for Madame Lilia yet?” Yuuri shook his head.
“I… I don’t think I can do it…” Yuuri gritted his teeth. He could feel tears working their way into his eyes but he refused to cry. “The last time I tried to submit one I… never mind.” He murmured.
“I hope you give it some more thought Yuuri. I can even put in a good word about you to Lilia!” Victor said enthusiastically.
“No! Absolutely not!” Yuuri quickly flailed his hands, shaking his head. “Sorry…” Yuuri quietly apologised.
“You don’t have to apologise for everything, you know.” Victor chuckled.
“Sorry…” Yuuri blurted out before quickly covering his mouth with his hands.
—————————————————
Some hours later, Yuuri had fallen asleep at his work. Victor cut the call and sent a good night text.

To: Yuuri
Good night, Yuuri <3
VN

As Victor laid down in his bed he couldn’t shake the thoughts of what had happened to Yuuri that was so traumatic for him. Even though Victor was slowly peeling back the many layers to Yuuri, he still knew that deep inside Yuuri, the aforementioned event was truly the root of Yuuri’s trust issues, and his anxiety and depression. Victor wanted so badly to be able to do something nice for Yuuri.

And then Victor knew. He knew exactly what to do. Surprise him. Because after all, who is Victor Nikiforov without a ridiculous surprise?

Chapter Text

Victor was fourteen when it first happened. The beginning of this… vicious cycle. A cycle of him coming home, his father slapping him silly, his mother coming to save him. She was scared too, he knew, but she was the bravest person Victor had ever known.
One last time, it happened, when he was fifteen.
“Seeing another man again?! You’re a disgrace. Pull yourself together, Victor. This isn’t how I raised you.” A very angry Alexander boomed, his palm tingling as his son’s cheek was bright red and throbbing. Victor had tears in his eyes. He daren’t look up at his father, his eyes focussed on the floor whilst one hand cupped his cheek. Tears burned his cheeks. Victor said nothing, just stood and bared it.
Alexander snorted.
“I should never have let you take up figure skating.” He said bitterly, raising his hand back up to Victor’s face.
“Stop!” Yulia said, quickly gripping her husband’s wrist. “He’s just a child…” she said, eyes of pity looking back at Victor.
“He saw it coming. He shouldn’t have been seeing another man!” Victor flinched as Alexander’s palm came closer to his face. Yulia pushed him out of the way, and in a split second, her cheek was hot and burning, stinging with tears as she fell on the floor. Victor rushed to her side and Alexander’s eyes widened, staring back at his wife.
“Don’t you think you’ve hit him enough?” She asked quietly, kneeling on the floor as Victor held her close, too shocked to say anything. “Victor is your son, it doesn’t matter who he’s seeing!” She argued, pulling Victor close.
“What, are you defending that boy?!” Alexander screamed back.
“That boy is my son, so yes!” Tears were streaming down Victor’s face as he hid his face in her chest.
“Tch.” Alexander stormed away, shoving passed them both as he slipped his shoes on, leaving the house.

Yulia let out a sigh of relief.
“Mom… are you okay?” Victor’s small voice asked.
“I’m fine, Vitya. Are you?” Victor nodded and Yulia kissed his cheek.
“I don’t care who you’re seeing, but you must be careful, please.” She pleaded as she slowly stood up from the floor, gently pulling Victor up as well.
“I was so scared…” Victor whimpered, clutching his mother tightly.
“I know, solnyshko moya…” she comforted, running her hand up and down his back.

That night, Alexander never came back.

Victor wrapped his head around the memory. At first, Victor couldn’t believe that his father would leave just like that. But he did, and that was what mattered. Whatever relationship Victor had had with his father was no longer relevant, nor important.

The next week, Yulia came back with a small poodle.
“Vitya?” Victor came into the corridor to see his mother holding a small poodle. “I thought you could use the company while I work. I got a new job at your ice rink, so while you’re not training someone can keep you company.” She smiled sympathetically. Victor’s eyes widened at the soft poodle, who leapt out of Yulia’s arms, padding over to Victor, who bent down to pick her up.
“She’s beautiful, mom. Thanks.”Victor smiled gratefully. “Makkachin!” He declared with a grin. And from then on, Makkachin became Victor’s most important companion.

A year later, Yulia had worked herself up in the world, going from working in the ice rink, to working for a large banking company.
“Vitya, come down please?” Victor came downstairs, hair tied into a neat ponytail.
“What is it?” Yulia have a gentle sigh.
“I’ve had a work transfer.” She said. “I’ve been transferred to Moscow.” Victor’s eyes widened, and he could feel tears in his eyes.
“I start work in three weeks time, so I’ll be flying to Moscow in two weeks.” She added. Victor couldn’t say anything. “I’ll send you some money every week for food, and also for skating.”
“Are you… leaving me?” Victor asked, tears streaking his soft cheeks. Yulia shook her head.
“I’ll try to come back as often as I can.”
“You’re leaving me.” Victor squeaked quietly, his fists clenching, eyes focussed on the ground.
“I’m not leaving you, solnyshko, I’m just moving away for work.” She sighed again, sounding slightly more distressed. Victor turned quickly on his heels and ran back up the stairs, slamming his bedroom door.

Two weeks later, Yulia left for Moscow. Kissing her son goodbye, she picked up her things.
“I’ll come home as much as I can. Be a good boy, remember, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She smiled, kissing his forehead. Victor was crying again. Crying into her shoulder, he nodded.

It started off well, Yulia would text or phone when she was free, when he saw him compete on television, she would send a letter with “I’m proud of you,” written and sealed with a wax stamp. She visited, four months after starting her new job. But that all soon faded. Two years into her job, her texts and calls became less frequent. Her visits home were practically non-existent. He had tried to send her texts and emails, only for them to be seen and not replied to, or not delivered at all. The only thing left were her letters that would come through after every competition. And it was at that point when Victor realised, she had left him too.

When Victor turned nineteen, he moved into central Saint Petersburg, and bought a condo of his own, closer to the ice rink. He never sold their house, or went back, just continued to pay the bills. He just paid the bills, and carried on with his life, just him, and Makkachin, starting their own lives. This time though, on their own. Because why would he welcome anyone new, if he knew they were going to leave again?

These memories kept Victor awake at night for many years. He still has them now, every so often. He was always weary of meeting new people, making new friends, because why bother if they were just going to abandon him? Even at the rink, Victor kept himself to himself, finding himself unable to try and make new friend. Every time he opened his mouth to talk to them, no words came out. Victor tried his best to be social, he really tried, but his fear of abandonment kept kicking him in the teeth, telling him they’d just leave him later, so what’s the point?

From then on Victor was determined to never make anyone ever feel how he had felt. And when he met Katsuki Yuuri, he knew that this was the man he wanted to chase after, the man he wanted to make happy.
————————————————
Victor sighed as he woke up from his memories. He checked the time, seven forty six. He unlocked his phone to see a new text from Yuuri.

From: Yuuri
Sorry I fell asleep last night! Good morning, Victor <3
YK

Victor smiled down at his phone and punched out a good morning text in return.

Victor pulled up his laptop. He’d saved the website of the theatre where Yuuri was performing in March, and he opened it. He looked at the seat availability to see only the VIP seats remaining. Pulling out his debit card from his wallet, Victor punched the card number and sort code in, and booked out all of the remaining VIP seats. Next, he had to think of something else to surprise Yuuri with. Victor thought and thought. Obviously he was going to bring a standard bouquet of flowers, but what else? What else would really surprise Yuuri? But then he remembered; Yuuri liked things basic, not too extravagant or overwhelming. So Victor thought that even just his presence with a bouquet of roses and a nice suit would be enough.

Opening his Expedia account, Victor booked his flights to Japan, and another Air BnB. Three weeks would be fine, right? He’d be back just before the World Team Trophy. Content with his actions, Victor shut off his laptop and got out of bed.
“Morning, Makka!” Victor smiled as the poodle stirred at the foot of his bed.
—————————————————
Yuuri awoke from his sleep, neck aching and laptop black. Stretching his muscles, Yuuri picked up his phone to see a new message from Victor.

From: Victor
Good night Yuuri <3

Yuuri noticed the heart. Could it be that Victor really was interested in him? Then he thought again. No way. He’s probably just like that. After all, Victor could have anyone he wants in the world. Why would he want Yuuri? Feeling brave anyway, Yuuri typed out a reply with the same heart.

To: Victor
Sorry I fell asleep last night! Good morning, Victor <3
YK

Chapter Text

Victor slid his costume on, pulling the zip from the back bottom left corner right the way up to the right side of the collar. The costume was a deep, midnight blue, almost black, adorned with Swarovski crystals forming gentle patterns down the centre of the costume. Every angle he turned the crystals reflected beautifully, a rainbow of colours filling the air. White and black feathers adorned the edges of his shoulders, and right down the V shaped open back, tapering into the centre.
The pants portion of his outfit was the same deep blue, adorned with crystals going in a spiral motion down one leg. He put his skates on, tying the laces. Standing up, he slipped on his team jacket, and made his way out to the rink side.

His phone buzzed.

From: Yuuri
I’m watching, Victor. You can do it – good luck.
YK

Victor smiled contently at his phone before slipping it back into his pocket.
Victor stepped onto the ice. The crowd screamed and cheered, but he ignored them, focussing only on Yuuri’s good luck text. He played it over and over again, reading it in Yuuri’s voice as he circled the rink. He took his position at the centre of the ice. The soft piano keys began to fill the air. Victor glided beautifully across the ice, pulling himself into a slow spin before moving into a double loop. His facial expressions, his movements, everything was so… so Victor. The rink was silent, only the music and his blades could be heard. The blades scratched along the ice as he skated backwards, back arched down perfectly into a crescent shape, arms extended up and down. Victor lifted his back leg, tugging it into a gracious Bielman spin. He let his leg down, lifting his body up off the ice into a quadruple salchow, triple flip combination, before moving into an Ina Bauer, his legs perfectly arched. Yes,” Victor thought to himself. “This is the man I want.” He declared to himself. The music picked up, a deeper harmony of strings accompanied the gentle piano as he lifted himself off the ice into a perfect quadruple flip. A quadruple axel followed, accompanied by a roar from the crowd as he sped across the ice, blades scraping at every movement. Victor pulled off one more triple salchow, single flip combination, pausing abruptly with the music before he prepared himself to move into the final spin, gathering his body into a perfect spin before taking his finishing pose.

Victor panted heavily, poodle plush toys and bouquets of flowers coloured the ice. Take a deep breath, he skated off to the side, slipping on his blade guards. Victor felt his phone buzz and buzz and buzz with his text tone. He smiled to himself, pulling out his phone to check, before slipping it back into his pocket as he made his way to the kiss and cry.
—————————————————
Yuuri has never seen anyone so beautiful, so graceful. He watched as Victor skated, phone gripped tightly in his hand. He took every opportunity to shoot a text to Victor, telling him how well he was doing. Victor was breath taking, Yuuri had never seen anyone like him. How could one be so… elegant, yet fierce? Yuuri was almost crying as he meticulously watched Victor’s every move. This was the first time Yuuri had ever seen Victor skate, but to hell with that if it were his last. Yuuri continued to watch as Victor stepped off the ice, checking his phone and smiling. It warmed Yuuri’s heart to see Victor smile from his copious amounts of texts.
Victor’s Free Skate score was amazing – 223.40, the scoreboard presented, in white font over a blue banner.
Yuuri was so proud of him, he couldn’t wait to phone and tell him later.

Yuuri watched as Victor cheered and pulled that gorgeous smile, pulling his coach into a hug. He clutched tightly onto his Makkachin tissue box, letting out a deep sigh of relief as more flowers came his way. Yuuri watched him leave the kiss and cry, heading back through the curtain. Giving it a few minutes, Yuuri picked up his phone and dialled Victor. It rang for a few moments before Victor picked up, heart beating in his throat all the while.

“Yuuri!” Victor sounded happy.
“Victor! You did well. I’m so proud of you,” Yuuri said contently down the phone, releasing a deep sigh of relief.
“It was your good luck text, Yuuri.” Yuuri’s eyes widened.
“I’m glad.”
“I have to go now, Yakov wants me. Speak soon?”
“Mm. I won’t keep you then. Congratulations, Victor.” Yuuri replied, heart pounding as he twiddled with the hem of his shirt.
“Thanks, Yuuri.” Victor was about to cut the call – “hey Yuuri?”
“Yes?”
“Can I call you again? Later?”
“Of course. Drop me a text.” Yuuri smiled to himself again, his hands still playing with the hem of his shirt.
“Will do. See you.”
“Bye.” Victor smiled down the phone.
—————————————————
“Chrisssssss!” Victor screeched as he slammed open the changing room door. “Chris!!!” Victor was practically wailing.
“Jesus Christ Victor, what’s up?” Chris asked, startled and almost jumping out of his skin.
“Chris he phoned me!” Victor almost cried.
“Well considering you made up isn’t that pretty normal?” He snorted.
“He texted to wish me good luck and then he phoned to congratulate me! Chrisss! He’s so precious…” Victor sighed, dramatically collapsing on the bench.
“So? When are you gonna get his ass?” Chris smirked, and Victor feigned a gasp.
“Scandalous, Chris! You think I’m just after his ass?” Victor pouted.
“Well, I don’t know, is it good?” Chris asked.
“Well, he’s a dancer if that gives you any indication.” Chris thought for a moment.
“Totally just after his ass.” Victor pouted, flinching slightly.
“No!” He protested. “There’s so much more to Yuuri – Yes, he’s sensitive, his low self esteem makes him particularly shy, but he’s kind hearted and I want to know every detail about him!” Victor gushed. “Yuuri’s not just anyone, Chris. He’s amazing.” Chris rolled his eyes.
“Right, great, okay, but it’s no good telling me that, you should be telling him.” Chris sighed with a soft chuckle.
“But what if he doesn’t like me in that way?” Victor squeaked and Chris let out the loudest, deepest sigh.
“This boy texted you a good luck text just before you got on the ice. He immediately phoned you the minute you stepped off the ice to congratulate you. He literally cried to you about how sorry the way for the way he treated you. And you’re asking me what //if// he doesn’t like you? Jesus Christ, you’re a lost cause.” Victor looked at him like a lost child. “Oh for fucks sake Victor it’s not rocket science he likes you.” Chris put it bluntly.
—————————————————
Phichit came into the living room.
“He told me it was my good luck message that made him win.” Yuuri’s heart was warm with adoration. Yes, he still thought Victor was way out of his league, but… a man could dream, right? Phichit smiled.
“Go get ‘im Yuuri, you deserve him.” Phichit ruffled his hair but Yuuri quieted.
“I’m a barista and dancer who studies psychology, who can barely afford to survive, whose anxiety ridden state rendered my career dead, who couldn’t even keep a fiancé and you’re telling me I deserve him?” Yuuri snorted with a soft sniffle. Phichit sat down next to him and sighed.
“We’ve spoken about this before Yuuri. You deserve the best, and only the best. Even if he is way out of your league, take baby steps. You might just find yourself wrapped in his arms.” Phichit smiled as Yuuri looked up. “Besides, what if he wants a barista-dancer-student in one?” Phichit grinned.
“And failure.” Yuuri snorted under his breath as his tugged his knees up to his heat and buried his face in them. Phichit sighed.
“Look, he clearly likes you. Yuuri, he literally bought you a bouquet of flowers every time you met. He puts hearts on the end of his messages. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.” Phichit said, slightly frustrated.
“But why if he’s just… like that? Naturally flirty?” Yuuri questioned.
“Oh for goodness sake Yuuri I don’t know how to spell it out any clearer for you.” Phichit smacked his hand against his forehead. Yuuri groaned, curling further up into himself.
“Don’t you remember what happened last time I got into a relationship?” Yuuri asked rhetorically.
“Yes. Yes I do, but he was an entirely different person. Like I said before, I knew he was no good, but Victor? Victor sounds like a godsend.” Phichit smiled before sighing. Yuuri was a lost cause, a lost cause entirely.

Chapter Text

Victor was nervous. He sat at the airport, his hand luggage in one hand, passport and phone in the other. His leg was shaking as he took a deep breath. Just an hour until his flight was to board. Victor stood up and went for a walk to calm his nerves.
Victor placed an order for one hundred and twenty red roses in the shape of a heart for Yuuri, that he’d pick up in the afternoon.
“Hello?”
“Hi, I’d like to order a bouquet of one hundred and twenty red roses in the shape of a heart for tomorrow?” Victor requested.
“Sure thing. Name?”
“Victor. Victor Nikiforov.” He provided.
“They can be collected from noon. When do you want to come and pick them up?”
“At 4pm, if that’s okay?”
“Got it. That’ll be ¥57,923, which can be paid tomorrow.” Victor made a sound of approval.
“Thank you, see you tomorrow.” Victor cut the call.
He had just one last thing to do. Having a good stalk of Yuuri’s Instagram, Victor found Phichit and shot him a DM.

To: phichit+chu
Phichit! It’s Victor here, a friend of Yuuri’s. I’m surprising him tomorrow, would you be able to tell him to meet you outside the back entrance of the theatre tomorrow?
Victor :)

Tomorrow, he would surprise Yuuri.

The flight to Japan was nerve wracking. Heck, Victor felt even more nervous surprising Yuuri than he’d ever felt before a skating competition. Victor made himself comfortable, reclining his chair right back and tugging the quilted blanket up. He gripped tightly onto the arms of his seat, leaning his head back onto his pillow and tried to get some sleep.
—————————————————
Yuuri had spent all day at the dance studio, rehearsing and rehearsing for his recital. He was so close to having a break down it was unbelievable. During his break Yuuri ran off to the changing room. Slamming the door shut, he slid down the back of the door, kneeling on the floor. He silently screamed and cried to himself. His heart was racing, his palms sweaty and his breathing deep. Yuuri took in a deep and shaky breath to try to calm his nerves. Yuuri clasped a hand over his mouth, muffling his cries. Yuuri felt sick to his stomach, but he stood back up and took another trembling, deep breath.
“I can do it.” He said to himself as he opened the changing room door and stepped back out.

“Are you okay, Yuuri?” Minako asked, eyes soft and worried.
“Y-yeah… yeah, I’m fine.” He said with a weary smile. Minako nodded.
“One more run through?” Yuuri nodded.
“Yes, please.” Yuuri was ready. Yuuri was ready to smash this performance.

After rehearsals, Yuuri finally called it quits for the day. Returning to the changing room, he dressed himself and checked his phone. A text from Phichit? That was odd – they were going to see each other in fifteen minutes anyway…

From: Peach
Yuuri! Wanna meet me for dinner tomorrow after your performance? My treat to you!

Smiling, Yuuri typed out a reply.

To: Peach
That’d be great :) thanks! Where do you wanna meet?

Almost immediately, Yuuri received a reply.

From: Peach
Great! Meet me by the back entrance after your show :D

Yuuri smiled contently and slipped his phone back into his jacket pocket.
————————————————
Victor arrived at Tokyo Narita Airport early the next morning. Stepping off the plane, he felt like he was going to collapse from fatigue. Making his way awfully slowly through customs, he finally made it out of the airport before he turned his phone back on.

From: phichit+chu
Sure thing! I just let him know to meet me for dinner by the back entrance, so you’d better treat him for dinner!!
Treat him well, he deserves only the best :)

Victor thought it was funny how Minako had told him exactly the same thing.

To: phichit+chu
Thank you – I will!

Victor smiled to himself, his nerves relaxing a little bit more as he climbed into a taxi to get to where he was staying. It had just gone nine in the morning when Victor finally checked into the Air BnB, and he had just enough time to get some sleep, and get something to eat before he had to pick up Yuuri’s roses. Collapsing on the bed, he set an alarm for three thirty, before soon drifting off to sleep in his jet lagged state.

Six hours later, Victor’s alarm sounded. Groaning, he turned his alarm off and got out of bed. Victor pulled his suit out of his suitcase. It was a beautiful – a black, double breasted swallowtail jacket, with silky satin lapels and satin covered buttons. The shirt was a brilliant white shirt, with pin tucks right down both sides of the button plackets. The suit was paired with a simple black bow tie and some simple suit pants. Victor hung the suit on the bathroom door before getting ready. He showered and dried his hair quickly, styling and brushing it to its natural fringe direction. Victor washed and cleansed his face before applying concealer to his under eyes, and some highlighter. Finally, he was ready.

Victor grabbed his phone and stepped out of the apartment, making his way to the florists. The bell of the shop chimed as he opened the door and made his way to the front desk.
“Hi, how can I help you?” The florist asked.
“Hi, I ordered a bouquet of one hundred and twenty red roses for today? Under the name Nikiforov.” Victor said. The florist opened a notebook of some kind, checking for Victor’s name.
“Yes. And you’re going to pay all up front?” Victor nodded and pulled out his debit card. The transaction was quickly made, and Victor received his bouquet of roses.
“Thank you, have a nice day.” Victor smiled as he left the store.
—————————————————
Yuuri choked back a sob, his hand covering his mouth. His legs felt like lead, but were trembling like jelly. He sank to his knees on the dressing room floor and cried. The anxious tears flowed down his cheeks, staining his flawless cheeks. His throat closed up. Yuuri had always been like this before a performance, but it had gradually gotten worse. Slowly coming back up to his feet, Yuuri picked up his bottles of pills and took a couple, downing them with some water. After a few short breaths, he felt much better, much calmer. “Why am I like this?” He thought to himself as he clenched his fist tightly, digging his nails into his palms. “I can do it.” He reassured himself.

After taking a moment to compose himself, Yuuri redid his makeup. He reapplied his foundation and concealer, before adding some mascara and eyeliner. He’d just wrapped up when Phichit knocked.
“Yuuri? Can I come in?” Phichit asked cheerfully.
“Yeah, sure.” The door clicked and Phichit stepped in, immediately frowning.
“Were you crying again?” He asked sympathetically.
“Umm… e-err…” Yuuri struggled to come up with an answer. Phichit stalked over and pulled Yuuri into a hug.
“It’ll be okay. You can look forward to our dinner outing later!” He smiled. Yuuri clutched onto him tightly.
“Thanks, Peach.” Yuuri huffed contently.
“Also, you look great, Yuuri.” He complemented as they released each other. Yuuri smiled again – Phichit always managed to lift his spirits.
“Thanks.”

Yuuri was elegant. His shoulders were slightly broad, but he was tapered down at the waist. He was well sculpted, yet tall and slender. Almost feminine. Yuuri’s costume consisted of a white piece – it seemed to be strapless, with a rounded, heart shaped neckline. The neckline was elongated down his chest, exposing just a little bit of his toned muscle. It was adorned with beautiful crystals and gems, feathers flaring out from the centre point. Odette was Yuuri’s first female role, but he pulled her off perfectly, his stunning form just being one of the many elements that made him just right for the part. Yuuri took one last deep breath.

“Take a drink Yuuri. They’re almost all in.” Phichit suggested, handing him a bottle of flavoured water. Yuuri’s knees began to tremble again.
“You’ve worked hard for this, Yuuri. You can do it. You’ve done it before, remember?” Phichit reminded.
“But that wasn’t in front of so many people…” Yuuri’s voice squeaked. Phichit sighed softly.
“You’ll be amazing, Yuuri. You’re the best dancer I know.” He reassured. Yuuri gave him a weary smile before tugging him into a hug.
“I’ll be waiting for you around the back after your show.” Phichit reminded and Yuuri nodded.
“Now go get em, Tiger!”

Yuuri peaked from behind the curtain. That was strange – all of the VIP seats were empty? They were normally the first seats gone. Yuuri felt a bit of the pressure lift from his shoulders before he pulled back from the curtain and took his position on the centre stage. The lights dimmed, and spot lights shone over the stage. Yuuri took one more heavy breath, slowly exhaling.
—————————————————
Shit. Victor was late and stuck in traffic. Frustrated, Victor opened his wallet and pulled out a wad of money.
“Thank you, you can keep the change.” He tossed the money in the change and quickly got out of the taxi, practically sprinting the rest of the way to the theatre.
He finally arrived, panting heavily.

“Victor Nikiforov. I reserved all the VIP seats.” Victor said between deep breaths.
“Unfortunately sir the show has started and we can’t let you in.” The receptionist replied with a sigh.
“How much do you want?” The receptionist looked up.
“Excuse me?”
“I said, how much do you want?” Victor repeated, seething inside.
“I’ll have to talk to the manager—“ Victor’s patience was wearing thin. He pulled his wallet out and took out a bunch of notes, slamming them on the desk.
“Sir, I can’t—“ Victor pulled out another bunch, slamming them on the desk again.
“Sir—“
“Listen, I appreciate that you’re not allowed, but I’m here to surprise my boyfriend, who has the main role.” Victor pleaded, the bouquet of roses feeling heavy in his hands. The receptionist sighed.
“Right this way Sir,” she stood up and lead him to the entrance to the VIP seats. He stalked down the aisle, bouquet beautifully tucked into his arm. There he was, the man of his dreams, stood in position, looking at the floor, preparing to move. He looked up.
—————————————————
Yuuri prepared to change position as the scene shifted. The back ground dancers shuffled to the sides as he looked up. There he saw it – an enormous bouquet of red roses in the shape of a heart, and peaking out from them? A head of platinum hair, the hair colour he could recognise from a mile away. His heart pounded.

Chapter Text

Yuuri was about to cry. He looked up and he knew. Yuuri looked up and he knew he had to do his best. Victor took a seat and looked at him lovingly, setting the huge bouquet of roses on the seat next to him. Yuuri almost sniggered. Of course Victor would book out all the VIP seats.
Yuuri began to move, just as perfectly as that day at the dance studio. Yuuri took a deep breath as the sounds of the first soft keys of the piece began to fill the theatre. Yuuri’s perfect portrayal rendered Victor to tears. Seeing Yuuri’s most gorgeous, passionate form warmed Victor’s heart so much. Yuuri’s dedication, his determination to push past his own mental barriers was the most inspiring for Victor. He had never seen anyone so beautiful before - he just wished Yuuri could see what he saw.

Yuuri was elegant and expressive. He had so much to tell, so much to say. After all, Odette was trapped in the body of a swan, and who better to tell her story than someone else who is just as trapped? Yuuri drowned out the audience, focussing only on Victor. He couldn’t wait to finish the show and start sobbing. Yuuri’s heart was pounding wildly in his chest, blood pumping loud in his head and ears. Out of all his dancing days, today was the day he felt the most pressure, but today was also the day he felt the most confidence.
—————————————————
After the show Victor was the first person to stand up and clap, staring lovingly into Yuuri’s eyes as he clutched the bouquet of roses under his arm. The curtains drew, and Victor immediately dashed to wait outside the back door, waiting patiently for Yuuri. He tapped his foot nervously, taking deep breaths to calm his rapid heart. Victor wanted Yuuri, wanted him so badly to return the love Victor had for him. Victor planned to ask him out tonight – they’d been on a fair handful of dates together, they’d called and texted almost every day, and Victor, for sure, has pined for Yuuri every day. He could only hope that Yuuri wanted him too.

By the end of the show, Yuuri had a slight inkling that it wasn’t Phichit he was going to be meeting outside the back entrance. Yuuri, beaming and dazzling with glee, quickly changed out of his costume. He hung his costume, slipping it back into the costume bag before going to shower. The hot, steaming water fell down his back. His heart was pounding wildly, but not because of the show, because of Victor. Victor, the man who Yuuri thought was way too far out of his league, Victor, who Yuuri thought he’d be pining for forever, Victor, who Yuuri thought just saw him as a friend, had come all to Japan without his knowledge to surprise him. Not only that, had booked out every VIP seat for his show, turned up in a swallowtail suit, and was holding the most extra bouquet of roses Yuuri had ever seen. He didn’t even want to think about how much those costed.
Yuuri’s heart filled with warmth.
He stepped out of the shower and dried down, changing back into his leggings and top.

“You were amazing! Yuuri!” Phichit huffed him tight when he came out of the dressing room.
“Thanks. Hey, also…” he started, and Phichit gave a knowing smirk. “Why do I get the feeling it’s not you I’m meeting for dinner, since you’re here?” Yuuri asked with the same smirk. Phichit gave a sheepish smile.
“You’re surprised though, right?” Phichit asked and Yuuri gave such a bright smile.
“I’m very surprised. But how?”
“He found me on instagram and sent me a DM the other night saying he wanted to surprise you.” Phichit explained. “Didn’t I tell you he likes you! He’s so after you! He came all the way from Russia with a huge ass bouquet of flowers just for you! And you like him too!” Yuuri immediately turned bright pink.
“I… I do.”
“Well, what are you doing here! He’s waiting for you!” Phichit pushed him out of the changing room. “Go get ‘im! Let me know when you’re on your way home.” Wow, what just happened? Yuuri found himself about to open the back door.
—————————————————
Victor’s head jerked up as the back door clicked, before opening slowly.
“Yuuri!” He beamed, eyes wide and smile wide. Yuuri stood for a moment, still at the door as a tear came to his eye. He immediately threw himself at Victor, wrapping his arms tightly around him. Victor froze for a moment, before relaxing and holding Yuuri close.
“Surprise.” He chuckled as Yuuri sobbed into his nice suit jacket.
“You idiot! You almost gave me a heart attack!” Yuuri cried, his fingers gripping tightly into the back of his jacket. He sniffles and sniffles, tears of joy falling down his cheeks. God, Victor smelt so good – like… expensive cologne and berries. Yuuri inhaled deeply and refused to let go of Victor.
“Are you surprised?” Victor asked, even though he knew the answer already.
“Of course I am…” Yuuri sniffled again before pulling back, wiping his tears.
“But how did you get in? You were late.” Yuuri pointed out.
“Nothing running to the theatre, demanding to see you, and slamming some money on the desk can’t solve.” Victor chuckled as Yuuri smiled.
“Sorry about the suit.” Yuuri apologised sheepishly.
“It’s a small price to pay to see you happy.” Yuuri could feel his cheeks pinking slightly as Victor smiled that soft smile. Not the bright and gorgeous one, but the soft, gentle smile.

“Oh! These are for you!” Victor handed the bouquet of roses to Yuuri.
“They’re beautiful, Victor. Thank you. Dare I ask how many there are?” Yuuri asked jokingly.
“One hundred and twenty!” Victor said proudly and Yuuri cringed, thinking about how much they must have cost. “So, now that we’re here, can I take you out for dinner?” Victor smoothly asked and Yuuri let out a relieved huff.
“Of course. But by the looks of things, I need to change into something nicer.” Yuuri’s soft laughter filled the warm, March air.
“Then, let me take you back to change?” Victor offered Yuuri his hand, which Yuuri eagerly took. Victor called for a taxi and allowed Yuuri to get in, before climbing in the other side.

The ride to Yuuri and Phichit’s place was silent, just full of longing glances. Yuuri bravely placed his hand on op of Victor’s in the middle seat, gently holding on as he blushed, staring out of the window. They stepped into the elevator up to Yuuri’s floor, before stepping out. Yuuri clicked open the door.
“Aren’t you going out?” Phichit asked as Yuuri bolted to his room.
“We are, he just wanted to change.” Victor explained.
“Oh, I see. Remind Yuuri to let me know when you’re on you’re way back?” Victor nodded.
“Sure thing.”
“Oh! By the way I’m Phichit! Nice to meet you finally! I’ve heard a lot about you!” He beamed.
“Nice to meet you too, I’m Victor. Oh, you have? I hope Yuuri has said nice things about me.” Victor chuckled lightly.
“Of course! All about how much he—“
“Phichit!” Yuuri snarled with warning as he stepped out of the room. Phichit knew then to shut up, but he sniggered.
“I’m ready.” Yuuri smiled as he adjusted his tie.
“You look great.” Victor smiled back.
“See you later, Peach!” Yuuri said before waving.
—————————————————
“Oh, I think I forgot to say…” Yuuri looked up from his meal. “You were amazing tonight, Yuuri.” Victor’s compliments made Yuuri’s heart race.
“I— I… couldn’t have done it without you…” He quietly spoke, his cheeks turning redder than a tomato as Victor looked slightly shocked.
“I… Me?” Victor added, slightly confused, and Yuuri nodded, looking up at him.
“That night when we argued, I poured my whole heart into Odette. Displacement, I suppose you could call it, and Minako said I was perfect. I had trouble connecting with Odette before you came along. I saw her as distant, and lonely, but at the time, I was perfectly happy, worked in a well-knit place, was living a great life.” Victor still looked confused, his brain trying to put together pieces of this big puzzle known as Yuuri.

“But then you came along, and you made me realise that there was something I was missing in life. Something that I thought I would never, ever, ever have because the last time I had it it was so traumatic, so horrifying for me that I blocked most of it out.” Victor’s heart hurt. Yuuri was pouring his heart straight out to him, and Victor might finally find out what had happened to him. “That something I was missing was… was someone to love. Like Odette, I was missing that person, or so I thought. But you made me realise that you’re so much more than a famous figure skater, and that I’m so much more than just a dancer.” Yuuri was bright red again, tears forming in his eyes as he squeezed his hands together.

“Yuuri, is this a love confession?” Victor asked, but not in that teasing tone, in that gentle, yet sincere tone. Yuuri’s head shot up as his heart began racing up his throat. His throat felt tight and his lungs were burning.
“I… Erm… if… if you want to see it like that then… then I guess it is…” Yuuri muttered the last bit. Victor smiled in relief. Yuuri heard the sound of chair legs scraping against the hard, wood floor of the restaurant. He didn’t dare look up, lest he spare himself the humiliation of being rejected. His heart was wildly pounding, all the thoughts of the night his ex left him came rushing back. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, but then, two strong arms wrapped around his shoulders.
“You beat me to it.” Victor said into his ear and Yuuri looked up at him, partly puzzled, and partly shocked.
“Huh?”
“A love confession. You beat me to it.” Victor clarified and immediately, Yuuri turned to wrap his arms around Victor’s torso, burying his face into his chest from his seat. Victor chuckled, running his fingers through Yuuri’s soft locks of hair, playing with the small tufts at the base of his neck.
“Though you know, that was a very round-about way to do it.” Victor chuckled. “You could have just said that you love me.” He added cheekily, pecking the top of Yuuri’s hair.
“That’s not as easy as it sounds!” Yuuri whined, though muffled by Victor’s chest. Victor laughed.
“I know, I was just teasing.”By now, the rest of their meals were surely cold, and they were probably getting some funny looks, but Victor couldn’t bring himself to care. Not when Yuuri had just confessed to him.

“Don’t ever play with my heart.” Yuuri warned. “It’ll break into a million pieces and I’ll never be able to put it back together again.” Yuuri added.
“Don’t worry, I would never.” Victor reassured.
“Don’t ever cheat on me and try to lie about it, because I will know.” Yuuri said, face still buried in Victor’s chest.
“How could I cheat on someone as cute as you?” Victor chuckled.
“I’m a big emotional baggage, you have to keep reminding me that you love me.”
“I’ll remind you every hour of every day.” Victor’s fingers continued to play with the tiny locks of hair at the base of Yuuri’s neck.
“I’m scared.” Yuuri finally admitted.
“Of what, solnyshko?” Victor asked.
“What if you decide you don’t love me anymore, or what if you get bored of me?” Yuuri asked, voice small.
“I can guarantee you you don’t ever have to worry about that.” Victor comforted. “I want to know every last detail about you, Yuuri Katsuki.” Victor said, his voice soothing and low.
“Then, I leave myself in your care…”

Chapter Text

“How long are you back in Japan for?” Yuuri asked as they walked through the streets, fingers laced together gently.
“Just three weeks. I have to be back for the World Team Trophy, and all start some choreography for next season.” Victor responded, and Yuuri’s face visibly fell. “I’ll try and come back again during the off season.” Victor promised.
“No, you’ve already come to me, I think I should come to you.” Yuuri smiled. Victor’s heart warmed at the idea.
“But, don’t you have classes, and dance?” Victor asked. “I don’t want your education to suffer because of me. I’ll come to you, besides, I love it here in Japan.” Victor said, and Yuuri sighed.
“Just promise me you’ll let me come to you one day, when I’m in a better position.” Yuuri smiled.
“I’ll pay for you to come over, don’t worry! It’s only two plane tickets, after all. You can stay at my place!” Victor exclaimed.
“Are you sure that’s okay?” Yuuri squeaked.
“Yuuri, you’re my boyfriend. Of course it’s okay!” Yuuri’s heart relaxed at his response.

“Let’s take a seat!” Victor led Yuuri to a bench at the edge of a park and they sat down. They sat in silence for a few moments before Victor spoke.
“Yuuri.”
“Hmm?”
“Earlier, you mentioned that… something traumatic had happened to you. What was it? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Victor asked. Yuuri’s heart thumped.

“I had been dating someone. Ryan, since I was eighteen. At first, we were great together. We ate together, were in the same classes, we worked together, and things like that.” Yuuri paused for a moment, and Victor continued to listen.
“After we’d been together for two years he asked me to marry him, and of course, I said yes. But things quickly went downhill. We were sharing an apartment, and, he got lazy. Never did his share of the chores, or the groceries or anything like that, and one day I… I confronted him. We had an argument about it, and he stormed out. He didn’t return until the next morning. I texted him, called him, but he never responded, and obviously, I was worried sick.”
“Always do the chores…” Victor said to himself.

“He came back the next morning smelling of alcohol, and pretty much still drunk. I was angry, of course, he’d left me worrying all night, didn’t respond to my texts or calls, and then comes back home drunk. But I let it slide, because I didn’t want to argue with him again. From then on, I kept silent about what was bothering me, and instead, I just… cried to Phichit about him. And one day he asked me, “You’re always hanging out with that Thai boy. Is there something going on?” And I remember his face, his words like it was yesterday. He was angry, and malicious.” Victor gritted his teeth. If he ever met this man he would for sure, hit him.

“I told him that we were just friends, studying in the library, and he could check with the librarian. Obviously by this point I knew this wasn’t going to last. He accused me of lying, and we argued again. This time, he hit me. Slapped me straight across the face.” Yuuri flinched as he remembered how much it stung. “I ran out of the apartment and went straight to Phichit. He texted me bullshit like “I’m sorry,” and “it won’t happen again.” But I didn’t respond. I suppose you could say that I did to him exactly what I hated when he did to me – ignore him for the night.”

Victor’s heart hurt. How could anyone treat Yuuri that way? He clenched his fists.

“Phichit told me I should just leave him, but I told him I wanted to give Ryan another chance. I was naïve, stupid, if you will, and I went back. He apologised and apologised, and just like that, I’d forgiven him. Now I know I should have just left, but like I said, I was naïve. That night we argued again and he… h-he…” Yuuri couldn’t say it. Something so, so shameful, so, so disgusting had happened. Something he’d repressed for so so long.
“You don’t have to—“ but Yuuri shook his head.
“He r-r… he… f-forced himself…” Victor didn’t force him. Instead, he hushed him.
“You don’t have to tell me that.” Victor comforted, kissing his head gently.
“I… I pretended it never happened, and I refused to acknowledge it. We were alright again, for about a month. We were planning our wedding, picking a venue, and things like that.” Yuuri gritted his teeth, tearing up as he spoke. Victor pulled him close, and he leaned his head on his shoulder.

“After that he tried to stop me from meeting with Phichit, from seeing anyone, from having friends. He became manipulative and controlling, but I brushed it off as him being protective and worrying. But then something came up. I started noticing other people’s cologne around him, and I realised that when I came home from work or class, that my side of the bed had been touched. I knew he was cheating on me, and… I don’t know… I started slowly moving my things to Phichit’s place, and it started with clothes, and books. I didn’t have much to begin with, just everything I bought from Hasetsu to Tokyo.” Yuuri clutched tight on to Victor’s jacket, burying his face into Victor’s chest again.

“There’s something I specifically remember. I came home from work one night and Ryan was in our room, on the phone. I don’t think he heard me come back, but I sure heard him say “I think Yuuri might be suspicious, so we should start meeting elsewhere.” It stung. Why wasn’t I enough? What had I done to deserve this?” Yuuri clenched hard onto Victor’s hand.
“I followed him one day, and caught him meeting up with another guy. Obviously it wasn’t solid evidence that he was cheating but… it still hurt. I followed him again and they ended up outside a love hotel. I didn’t need to see anymore. I immediately ran home and packed up more of my things, taking them to Phichit’s place before preparing to break it off. After all, why would I wanna be with someone who has such little respect for me?” Yuuri was about to cry again, but Victor just ran his hand up and down his back in an attempt to comfort him.

“I waited and waited for him to come home, and when he finally returned, his hair was a mess, his shirt wasn’t even done up properly. He didn’t even try to hide it. I confronted him about the cheating. About how I’d noticed my side of the bed had been touched, about the phone conversation, about following him. His response? “You were following me?!” He screamed at me, and he didn’t even try and deny it. I got hit again. I was tired and crying, and I just wanted to go home.

“I remember that night when we broke up. It was horrible, and messy, and I almost died.” Yuuri squeezed out. “We fought again, and I told him I was breaking up with him.”
—————————————————
“We’re over!” Yuuri screamed, clenching his fists.
“You’re breaking up with me?” Ryan scoffed.
“Yes!”
“Fine, go ahead! No one loves you anyway! I’m the only person who has ever loved you.” Ryan shouted bitterly. Yuuri refused to cry, but he couldn’t help but think maybe Ryan was right. In that moment, Yuuri began to reflect on everything that had happened. How did their relationship become so… bitter and toxic? Why hadn’t he broken it off when he was first hit? Yuuri began internally blaming himself, blaming himself for not leaving, and for allowing it to continue.
“No one loving me is far better than what you’ve put me through.” Yuuri spat back, storming into their bedroom to hastily pack what little remained of his things, shoving them into a bag.
“Get back here, I’m not done yet!” Ryan screeched, following him.
“Well I am!” Yuuri screamed back physically pushing him out of the way. Yuuri left that night, and never came back.

Yuuri walked for miles on end, finding himself at the top of a bridge, overlooking the flowing Tokyo traffic.
He stood, crying to himself, wondering what he had done to deserve this, wondering why he wasn’t good enough.
—————————————————
“I wanted to jump that night, but Phichit phoned just as I took my glasses off, screaming and crying and worried sick. That was when I realised that yes, somebody did love me. People did love me, and I’d hurt a lot of people if I died. I told him I just needed to let off some steam, and that I’d be there soon.” Yuuri explained, still holding on to Victor.
“After that I told him that I was about to jump, and I told him about when he… and I told him about how he was cheating. I cried my eyes out, and I promised I’d never fall in love again.” Yuuri sighed.

“I’m glad I didn’t jump that night, because you stepped into my life. And I’m glad I’ve managed to fall in love again.” Yuuri was crying now, tears of sadness or joy, he wasn’t sure, but he was sure that Victor was crying too.

“God. I will slap him if I ever see him. I promise I will never ever let that happen to you again.” Victor gripped tightly onto Yuuri. Yuuri could feel Victor’s hot tears of anger in the crook of his neck, soaking through his shirt.
“It’s okay, Victor. It’s long behind me now.” Now it was Yuuri’s turn to comfort him.
“It’s not! He… he touched you when you didn’t want to be touched!” Victor was holding so tightly onto Yuuri, afraid to let go.
“You’re right, it’s not okay. But it’s behind me now. You’re my present, Victor. And my future. So let’s just forget about it.” Yuuri said, kissing Victor’s cheek. Yuuri still had painful tears falling down his cheeks as Victor held him tightly. Despite their conversation, Yuuri had never felt so loved. Victor held him tightly as Yuuri’s held-back tears finally fell. Years and years of resenting himself, hating himself, doubting himself, might finally be coming to an end.

Chapter Text

“Let’s get you back, before Phichit starts worrying.” Victor chuckled. Yuuri lifted his head from his shoulder and nodded. The walk back was almost silent, but neither Victor nor Yuuri needed to say anything. They arrived back, and stepped into Yuuri and Phichit’s apartment.
“How was your date?” Phichit asked.
“It was fine, thank you.” Yuuri smiled. “Do you want to stay a bit longer, Victor?” He turned and asked.
“Sure thing. I can stay a bit longer.”
“I’m just gonna get changed – won’t be a minute!” Yuuri said, going into his room.
“Anything to drink?” Phichit asked.
“I’m alright, thanks.”
“He told you, didn’t he?” Victor looked up as Phichit sat down next to him. “About Ryan.” Victor nodded.
“How did you know?” Victor asked.
“Yuuri only gets prickly like that when he talks about him.” Victor’s heart fell.
“I wish I could make things better for him.” Victor sighed.
“You have already. He smiles, now. He’s happier now. He really likes you, you know. So if you like him too…”
“Actually we’re… already… erm…” Phichit feigned a gasp.
“Yuuri! Scandalous!” Phichit screeched.
“Wait, what?!” Yuuri came out of his room and sat on the sofa between Victor and Phichit.
“You never told me you were dating?” Phichit wailed. “I feel cheated!” Victor chuckled.
“Chill out, we’ve only been going out a few hours.” Phichit immediately stopped the dramatic act.
“Oh! Didn’t I tell you he liked you too, Yuuri!” Phichit said and Yuuri immediately perked up, blushing.

They spent the night talking before Yuuri cracked a yawn.
“You should get some sleep, Yuuri. You’ve worked hard today.” Victor said, running his fingers just through Yuuri’s hair. Yuuri moved to lay his head on Victor’s shoulder.
“Just a bit longer.” Victor chuckled, before hearing the camera click.
“Phichit!” Yuuri growled.
“Sorry! You both look so cute! I’m sure Victor won’t mind if I send them to him!” Victor pulled out his phone.
“Stick your number in and send me that photo.” He said eagerly.
“Victor!” Yuuri blushed.
“You’re really cute when you get embarrassed. You get all blushy and adorable.” Victor grinned, poking at Yuuri’s cheek.
“Stop embarrassing me!” Yuuri squeaked tiredly as he closed his eyes. Victor chuckled lightly.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna go to bed?” Victor asked again.
“I only get three more weeks with you, don’t make me go to bed yet.” Yuuri mumbled with a soft pout.
“Alright then.” Victor smiled.

Whilst Victor and Phichit were talking, Yuuri had quietly fallen asleep on Victor’s shoulder.
“I’ll put Yuuri to bed and leave.” Phichit nodded, as Victor gently lifted Yuuri up, nudging the door open with his back before slipping into the room. Victor laid Yuuri on the bed, tucking him in.
“Good night, Victor… thank you for everything.” Yuuri said sleepily.
“Good night, Yuuri. Thank you too. I’ll text in the morning, and if you’re not busy we’ll go out. I love you.” He said tenderly.
“I love you too.” Yuuri responded sleepily as Victor turned to leave the room.
“Wait—“ Victor paused and turned back around.
“Yes?”
“Kiss.” Yuuri boldly asked, turning to face him, and Victor chuckled. Victor leaned in, and pressed his lips to Yuuri’s soft, plump lips with a loud smack.
“Mwah.” Victor emphasised, pulling away with a smile.
“See you tomorrow…”
“See you tomorrow, Yuuri.” Victor stepped out before closing the door.
“Bye Phichit, I’ll be stealing Yuuri again tomorrow if he’s not busy.” Phichit gasped.
“My child! Being stolen from under my wing!” He dramatically sighed. “I’m kidding – that’s fine! Just let me know where and when so I can check up on him.” Phichit smiled, and Victor agreed.
—————————————————
When Victor arrived back at the Air BnB, he got changed and immediately climbed into bed. Wow, what a rollercoaster of a day – Victor had finally got his boy. He picked up his phone.
“Victor do you even realise what time it is—“ Chris asked sleepily with a yawn.
“CHRIS! I DID IT!” Victor screeched.
“Did what?” Chris yawned again.
“I got Yuuri!”
“The cute barista?” Chris clarified and Victor made a sound of agreement.
“Oh? Did you ask him out?”
“Well I flew to Japan to surprise him, and I took him for dinner and I was gonna ask him but… he beat me to it…” Victor mumbled the last bit, and Chris let out a sigh.
“Well at least you got him. Can I go back to sleep now?” Chris complained.
“Yes, you can go back to sleep now. Bye Chris!” Victor cut the call. His heart was pounding and screeching and racing. He couldn’t believe it – Yuuri was his to protect now, and he had to make damn well sure he did.

To: Yuuri <3
Good night, sleeping beauty <3
VN

Victor plugged his phone in and sat up on the bed. Now, he had to take Yuuri somewhere nice – after all, it’s their first date as an official couple. Yuuri was his boyfriend. Wow, Victor loved the sound of that. His boyfriend. His. Victor pulled up the TripAdvisor page and had a look at what there was to do in Tokyo.

To: Yuuri <3
Phone me when you wake up? <3
VN
—————————————————
The next morning, Yuuri woke up at half seven, as he normally did, to see two texts from Victor.

From: Victor <3
Good night, sleeping beauty <3
VN
From: Victor <3
Phone me when you wake up? <3
VN

Yuuri smiled down at his phone. Quickly, he selected Victor’s contact and dialled. The phone rang for a moment before a sleepy voice answered.

“Morning Yuuri…” Victor sounded half asleep, his voice low and groggy.
“Morning, Victor. Did I wake you up?” Yuuri asked.
“Yeah but it’s okay, I asked you to.” Yuuri heard a shuffle and a yawn. “I just wanted to ask if there’s anything you want to do today?” Victor asked, sounding slightly more awake.
“I don’t have anything in mind at the moment… we could get lunch together?” Yuuri suggested.
“Any recommendations?”
“There’s a nice sushi place near mine where we can get something to eat? Oh! We can go shopping? I need some new cloths ‘cause I only have training gear and loungewear.” Yuuri laughed.
“Sounds like a date! I’ll come by at noon then?” Victor said.
“Noon sounds great. See you then.” Yuuri smiled.
“See you then – love you.” Victor said lovingly, the words felt so nice to say.
“Love you too.” Yuuri’s heart was pounding. The words sounded so sweet from Victor’s mouth. Wow, how did he land someone so amazing? Yuuri cut the call, feeling warm and bubbly.

Smiling, he climbed out of bed and went to get breakfast.
“Morning Peach.”
“Morning…” Phichit sighed, downing his coffee. “You’re awfully cheerful this morning.” Phichit pointed out and Yuuri’s smile immediately went flat and a red glow came to his cheeks. “I’m kidding. You deserve to be happy. What time is Victor coming?” Phichit asked.
“He’ll be here at noon. We’re going for lunch and then we’re going shopping.” Yuuri smiled.
“Have fun, Yuuri!” Phichit winked. Yuuri blushed, thinking that Phichit was implying something explicit. “No, really, enjoy yourself. Let me know where you are every so often.” Mamma Peach was surfacing again.
“I will, don’t worry.”
—————————————————
Noon was soon coming around fast, and Victor was on his way to Yuuri’s house, in a grey shirt and black jeans. The top two buttons of his shirt were undone, exposing a little bit of his perfect, chiselled chest. Victor has a grey and black scarf around his neck, hanging loosely as the front triangle of the scarf just covered his chest.

Yuuri slid on a loose, pink cardigan on over his white shirt. It was paired with some blue jeans, rolled up at the ankles. He waited anxiously for Victor to arrive. A few minutes just past noon, Victor arrived.

“Hey.” Yuuri tenderly smiled.
“Hey yourself. These are for you.” Victor leaned in and kissed Yuuri’s forehead, handing him a bouquet of forget-me-nots.
“They’re beautiful, Victor. Thank you.” Yuuri tugged him into a warm embrace, burying his face into his chest and inhaling his scent. Phichit stealthily snapped a picture as Victor’s arms came around his back, but Victor’s eye caught the camera, and he smiled silently. Phichit gave a thumbs up and Victor turned his attention back to Yuuri. He moved one hand up to gently stroke his hair.
“Are you okay?” Victor asked, playing with his hair and Yuuri nodded softly.
“Just really happy.” He muttered as Phichit snapped a few more pictures. Victor let out a soft laugh.
“Shall we get going, then?” Victor asked as Yuuri pulled away.
“Yeah. Sushi place isn’t far from here. Hold on—“ Yuuri quickly went to set the forget-me-nots in a vase on the dining room table. “Let’s go.” Yuuri grasped Victor’s hand and laced their fingers together.

“You look beautiful, by the way.” Victor said smoothly as they left the apartment complex. Yuuri blushed, his cheeks immediately pinking.
“I… Erm… thank you. You look handsome too…” Yuuri squeaked and Victor chuckled.
“You’re the cutest.” Yuuri said nothing, but he clutched Victor’s hand tightly.
“Oh, we’re here.” Yuuri pointed out as they turned into a small side shop.
They stepped in and took a seat.
“I can translate for you, if you want. I know the English translations of the menu aren’t particularly great.” Yuuri chuckled, but Victor just stared at him.
“Victor?” Victor snapped out of his trance-like state.
“Sorry Darling, what were you saying?” Victor asked. Yuuri blushed at the pet name, stuttering.
“I— I was saying t-that I can translate for you i-if you need…! Because I know the translations aren’t great…” Yuuri repeated.
“Oh, that’d be great! They are a little rusty.” Victor agreed as he took a quick glance at the menu. Victor looked a little bit longer, scanning through all of the dishes.
“What’s this one here? Pork… what bowl?” Victor asked.
“Oh! That’s katsudon! It was and still is my favourite dish, it’s like… pork in bread crumbs and it’s fried and has egg and sauce and it’s beautiful and—“ Yuuri cut off his ramble when Victor chuckled. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine, Yuuri. I love seeing you happy and smiley.” Victor reached a hand across the table to cup Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri laid his hand on top of Victor’s, gently nuzzling.
—————————————————
Yuuri and Victor were looking through shelves and shelves of clothes, only, Victor had a very… very… very expensive taste. Yuuri almost coughed up a lung looking at the price tags.
“Yuuri! You’d look so cute in this!” Victor was holding up a simple knitted jumper. It was kind of a midnight blue-black colour. It looked big and fluffy, perfect for Yuuri to curl up in. But then he saw the price tag, and almost had a heart attack.
“Victor, I am not going to buy a jumper for ¥92,000.” Yuuri said firmly, raising an eyebrow.
“Let me buy it for you!” Victor pulled that heart shaped grin that made Yuuri’s heart weak, and he almost agreed. Almost.
“No, Victor I’m not letting you buy me a jumper for ¥92,000.” He repeated.
“But it’d suit you so well!” Victor protested, still clutching the jumper.
“Victor, I think you have more money than sense.” Yuuri joked with a gentle chuckle.
“Mean Yuuri! You wound me!” Victor feigned a pout, quickly smiling when Yuuri kissed his cheek. “Does that mean—“
“No.”

Victor kept his eye open for a congratulatory gift for Yuuri. He looked and looked for the perfect gift, and whilst looking through the glass cabinet displays, he came across some cuff links. He scanned the rows for the letters “Y” and “K”, but also “V” and “N” for himself. Cute, right? Victor picked up the cuff links in the correct letters and bought them.

“Do you wanna come over? Phichit has classes today.” Yuuri asked as they were on the way back.
“Oh! I’d love to.” Victor smiled. By the end of their trip, Yuuri and Victor had bags and bags of stuff. Yuuri’s full of jeans, and some tops, whilst Victor’s was full of ridiculous designer scarves, and things he really didn’t need.
As soon as they stepped into the apartment, they flopped on the sofa.
“Can I lie on your lap?” Yuuri asked shyly, staring at the floor.
“Of course you can!” Victor said, and Yuuri moved to lay his head on Victor’s lap.
“What did you buy today, Yuuri?” Victor asked, carding his fingers through his hair. Yuuri sat up and pulled his bags up.
“I got these jeans,” He pulled a pair of black skinny jeans out of the bag. “I also got some tops.” One top had a cute cone of chips on the shoulder, and a fallen chip at the bottom that said “I’m chipped!” And another had a small pocket on the corner with a moustache. And finally out of the bag, Yuuri pulled out a pair of Doc Martens, bright yellow with a smiley face on each shoe.
“What did you get?”

Victor moved to pull his big bags up.
“I got a coat!” Victor pulled out a long black double breasted coat with a big collar. “I got some scarves too,” Victor held up three scarves, one of which was black and grey, another one that was black and white, and one last one that was just plain black.
“I also bought some shirts and ties too. Oh! And also, this is for you.” Victor handed Yuuri a velvet box tied with a bow.
“For me? You didn’t have to.” Yuuri smiled and he lifted the lid – two silver cuff links in his initials with diamonds encrusted all over.
“I got me some matching ones too!” Victor showed off his own cuff links in the same style.
“Thank you, Victor, really. I love them.” Yuuri tenderly smiled. “Oh, I just remembered… can I talk to you?” Yuuri saw the flash of panic shoot across Victor’s face. “It’s nothing bad I promise!” He rushed to say to avoid Victor’s mind running. Victor’s face relaxed into a smile.
“What would you like to talk about?”

Chapter Text

“You remember that article… the one you sent me?” Victor nodded.
“Yeah, what about it?”
“Did you ever respond to it?” Yuuri asked, twiddling his thumbs as he pulled his knees up to his chest.
“No, I just ignored it, but it seems that it hasn’t really died down yet.” Victor sighed. “Is It bothering you?”
“No… I don’t know… it’s just… I’m worried… what if someone finds out who I am and suddenly I’m being pulled into this frenzy and I don’t wanna be a burden to you and—“ Victor silenced him with a kiss.
“Would you like me to speak out? Of course, I won’t name you or anything, and I’ll post a picture without your face, but would you like that?” Victor asked softly, his voice calming Yuuri’s racing heart. He nodded.
“I’m sorry, I know it shouldn’t bother me but it just does and I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that you actually like me too… It’s taken me so long to leave my last relationship behind but so much of it just lingers and I’m just scared. I promised myself I would never put myself through another relationship like that again but I can’t help but have this innate fear that I’ll never be able to live without being scared, or be loved without being taunted by what happened…” Victor smiled sadly.
“You don’t have to be sorry, Yuuri. I understand. I promised I’d never ever treat you like he did, and I intend to keep that. You pick a picture of us for me to post, and I’ll post it with an explanation and a request to not try to find you?” Yuuri nodded once more and Victor handed him his phone. Yuuri scrolled through their collection of pictures when he found one he loved.

“This one.” Yuuri smiled. It was Victor holding the camera and turned to the side, Yuuri’s face buried in his chest. One of his hands was holding tightly onto the fabric of his coat as his face was hidden. Victor smiled softly as one hand cradled Yuuri’s head. Victor nodded and took the phone back.

@v-nikiforov; Hello everyone. I’m here to address the recent article surrounding speculation around whether I have found someone. And I would like to say that yes, yes I have. This person has been nothing but a huge support since I’d met them, they’ve been nothing but amazing and understanding and patient, and this person makes me very happy. We haven’t been together for long, but I can assure you that this is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. However, my love does not wish to be known, so I will respect that wish. Just know that I love this person with all my heart, please do not try to identify them. Thank you for understanding. Victor Nikiforov.

“How does that sound?” Victor passed Yuuri the phone. Yuuri read it, and found himself almost to tears.
“I love you too!” Yuuri squeaked, hiding his blushing face. Victor leaned over and quickly pecked his cheek.
“I’ll take that as it’s fine?” Yuuri nodded and handed the phone back. Victor posted it on his Instagram and his twitter before turning his attention back to Yuuri.

“How long has this article been on your mind?” Victor asked Yuuri cautiously.
“Since you first sent it to me… and then… again when we started dating…” Yuuri admitted, his voice just short of a mumble. Victor let out a soft sigh.
“You know you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?” Yuuri nodded.
“Sorry for not saying… I’m still trying to adjust to… to us. I’m not used to being able to comfortably rely on someone after…” Yuuri’s brow furrowed as he let out a sad sigh as Victor ran his fingers gently through Yuuri’s hair.
“I understand, don’t worry. I just want you to know that you can talk to me.” Victor kissed the top of his head.
“I know, thank you. Sorry… I’m just… sorry…” Yuuri apologised again. Victor’s heart hurt, knowing that Yuuri’s conditioning to just apologise after every sentence was a result of his abuse. He promised to never put him through that again. Victor wrapped his arms around him.
“Stop apologising, silly. I don’t want to force you to rely on me, so take your time. I understand” Victor kissed the top of his head. “It’s okay if you’re not ready to completely depend on me yet.” Victor reassured as Yuuri cuddled up closer to his side.

They sat in silence, enjoying each other’s presence until Victor’s stomach growled.
“Are you hungry?” Yuuri asked.
“I must be.” Victor chuckled. “Shall we get a take out?” Victor asked.
“Take out isn’t great here, but I can cook, if you want?” Yuuri offered. Victor’s eyes beamed.
“You can cook?” He has the widest smile.
“How does katsu curry sound?” Yuuri stood up from the sofa and began to make his way to the kitchen.
“Perfect! Do you need any help? I can’t cook but I can help?” Victor asked as he stood up and followed Yuuri to the kitchen. Yuuri chuckled.
“You can’t cook? How have you survived?” Yuuri joked as Victor leaned on the counter.
“My dietician normally provides me with meal plans and I just have to tip everything in a pan and try not to burn it…” Victor sighed.
“You can cut onion for me, if you want.” Yuuri smirked, holding out an onion for Victor to take. Victor cringed, but reached out for the onion. Yuuri chuckled.
“I’m kidding, I normally blend it so I don’t have to chop it.” Yuuri kissed his cheek.
“Mean Yuuri, teasing me!” Victor feigned a pout. “Love you.” He then smiled.
“I love you too.” Yuuri returned. Victor watched in awe as Yuuri cooked. His Yuuri was so talented, so amazing. Victor’s heart warmed. Whilst Yuuri was cooking the sauce over the hob, Victor came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Do you know how long I pined for you?” Victor asked and Yuuri snorted.
“How long has my prince been after me?” Yuuri asked back.
“Since you asked me for my order the very first time I stepped into your coffee shop.” Yuuri’s heart squeezed. Dammit! He could have gone after him so much earlier! Yuuri turned the job off and turned around in Victor’s arms, wrapping his own around his neck.
“You know, I wish you asked me for my number that day.” Yuuri said passionately, touching his nose against Victor’s own.
“Me too. But it’s okay, because I have you now.” They lingered in their embrace before Victor heard the door click open. Phichit stepped into the apartment and footsteps began padding into the kitchen.
“Oh? Cooking date?” He smiled. Yuuri mumbled.
“Yeah.” Then Phichit turned to Victor.
“I hope you’re treating my son well.” Phichit warned.
“Of course I am, the most adorable and beautiful and gorgeous person on the planet is all mine, of course I’m going to treat him well.” Victor laughed lightheartedly as Yuuri blushed, pulling away.
“You’re just in time, Peach. I just made katsu curry!” Yuuri smiled as Phichit reached for the cupboards.
“I’ll get the table set.” Phichit pulled down some bowls before reaching to get some cutlery.
—————————————————
After dinner and a bit of a chat, Victor looked at his watch. It was getting late.
“I should probably go now, it’s getting late.” Victor sighed.
“Do you… want to stay the night?” Yuuri asked, a pink hue climbing up his cheeks.
“I would love to, babe. Is that okay with you, Phichit?” Victor turned his attention to the Thai boy who was scoffing down snacks.
“Whatever makes Yuuri happy. Would you like me to grab a blanket for you and pull out the sofa?” Phichit asked, setting down his bowl of snacks.

“Actually I… Erm… would like t-to…” Yuuri stuttered, his voice quiet, almost a whisper. By this point, his cheeks were a deep red.
“Are you asking me to share a bed, Yuuri?” Victor asked with a gentle smile.
“I-if you don’t want to it’s okay!” Yuuri blurted out, waving his hands frantically. Victor, amused, laughed a little.
“I don’t mind sharing a bed with you, but I do sleep in only my boxers.” He winked, and Yuuri wasn’t sure if his head or his heart just exploded.
“I-I! That’s fine!” Yuuri rushed to say.
“If you can find me some sweatpants I don’t mind wearing them if you’re more comfortable.” Victor added, but Yuuri shook his head.
“It’s okay.” Yuuri clarified, still blushing deeply.

“Keep it quiet kids!” Phichit winked before escaping to his own room.
Yuuri ignored him. “Thank you.” He leaned up and kissed Victor quickly, smiling. “I’ll grab you a toothbrush and you can get yourself ready.” Victor nodded, releasing Yuuri’s hands. He didn’t even realise he was holding them. Yuuri rushes off to his bathroom and from their packet of extra toothbrushes, he pulled one out.
“Yours is the dark blue one on the end. You can hang your clothes on the door, if you’d like.” Yuuri sat down on the bed.
“I’ll be back in a moment.” Victor left the room and made his way into the bathroom. Wow, what just happened? Yuuri pulled himself from his thoughts and stripped down, pulling on some sweats and a top. Victor returned in just his boxers and God, Yuuri was drooling and staring.
“Like what you see?” Victor teased.
“Sorry!” Yuuri tore his eyes away and stared at the floor. “I’m gonna get changed...”

When Yuuri returned, Victor was curled under the blanket with his phone in one hand.
“Ready for bed?” Victor asked, setting his phone on Yuuri’s bedside table. Yuuri didn’t respond, just slid under the covers and wrapped his arms around Victor’s torso. God, he was so warm. Victor’s heart pounded against Yuuri’s ear as he wrapped his arms back around Yuuri. Yuuri didn’t realise how tired he was until he was falling asleep to Victor’s breathing and the beat of his heart. Yuuri breathed deep, trying to calm his racing heart. Yuuri felt a sense of security, safety. Absolutely nothing like when Ryan hugged him at night. Victor felt different. He made Yuuri feel loved, feel safe and cared for. He planted a soft kiss to Victor’s chest, who returned a kiss to his forehead.
“I love you.”
“I love you.” And with that, Yuuri found himself falling asleep.

Chapter Text

The nightmares about Ryan had stopped ever since Victor stepped into his life, but occasionally, they slipped back into his head.
Yuuri’s head was throbbing and screaming down his ear. Everything was loud, noisy, and overwhelming. Yuuri whimpered, pushing his face further against Victor’s chest, and clawing tightly onto his back. Victor awoke to Yuuri almost thrashing, tossing and turning in his arms.
“Darling, wake up.” Victor tried to shake him awake.
“Yuuri, Yuuri you need to wake up.” He tried again. Victor’s voice rang deep inside Yuuri’s head, waking him with a start.
“Are you alright?” Victor asked as Yuuri’s eyes shot open. Tears began to fall down Yuuri’s face, staining his pretty pink cheeks.
“Y-yeah...” Yuuri squeaked, shaking and burying his face deeper into Victor’s chest.
“Are you sure? You can tell me anything, you know.” Victor comforted, carding his fingers through Yuuri’s soft locks.
“Had a nightmare…” Yuuri mumbled, his arms squeezing around Victor.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Victor asked, his voice sweet and calming.
“He came back. Just out of nowhere and he touched me. I screamed but no one could hear me. Everything I’d forced myself to forget suddenly came back. He slapped me across the face and s-shoved it into my mouth… I remember choking and screeching and… it hurt so bad. The way he violated me made me want to just die and never come back. Everything he did was horrible. Awful. But I forced myself to forget it, telling myself that we were going to be married and it wouldn’t matter but…” Yuuri’s voice was quiet and fragile. He was trembling in Victor’s arms, squeezing his eyes shut. “And I remember it… I remember it like it was yesterday and that’s why it’s so scary! It’s so scary because I’m with you now and I should just forget it and feel safe with you but…” Yuuri cut himself off with a whimper, and Victor ran his hand up and down his back.

“It’s very difficult to just forget about it, Yuuri. But you’ve done so, so well over the last year to forget all about it. I’m so sorry for bringing it back up.” Victor kissed the top of his head.
“It’s not your fault at all, Victor.” Yuuri reassured, returning a kiss to his bare chest.
“You know you can wake me up whenever, if you want to talk. If I’m here, or back where I’m staying, or back in Russia, I want you to phone me if you need me.” Victor’s voice was so soothing – it made Yuuri feel warm and fuzzy inside.
“Sorry for waking you…” Yuuri’s small voice was strained and hoarse from crying. “Like I said, I want you to.” Victor smiled.
“My parents and sister used to tell me the same thing. I once phoned Mari at 4am crying down the phone to her about Ryan and she threatened to snap his neck.” Yuuri chuckled.
“Wow, what a sister. Better be careful of her.” Victor joked.
“She’s just protective. Do you have any siblings?” Yuuri asked.
“No, it was always just me as a child. I did always want a sibling, either a younger one, or an older one, a twin… I didn’t really care. I had a really lonely childhood, but then Makkachin came along!” Victor smiled at the thought of his beautiful poodle awaiting his return.
“Makkachin has always been my only support. She’s always been my most amazing friend. She’s the only support who’s never left me…” Victor gave a sad smile, his brow creasing.
“What about your mother?” Yuuri asked and he heard a soft sniffle. Shit. He’d said something wrong. “Y-you don’t have to answer! Sorry for seeming nosey…”
“It’s alright. She’s just hard for me to talk about.” Victor sighed.

“After my father left, my mom got a job at a bank, and she bought me Makkachin to keep me company. But then she got transferred to Moscow. We used to chat and text every day, and she visited, but eventually, she left me on read, never returned my calls, and never came home. All I ever got were congratulatory letters after a competition with like… three words on them.” Victor scoffed. Yuuri’s heart bled for him – his own family were his biggest support, but Victor had virtually no family at all. “So I packed up my things and bought a condo near the ice rink. I never sold our house. I still pay the bills on it.” Victor was near tears.
“Oh…” Yuuri didn’t know what to say.

“It’s been a long time now, so I suppose it’s nothing now.” Victor bitterly laughed.
“How does it feel to have a sibling, and loving parents, Yuuri?” Victor asked, burying his nose into Yuuri’s hair. Yuuri took a deep breath.
“It’s… it’s wonderful. They’re my biggest support, my biggest fans. They call and text as often as they can, and even though they can’t visit, I try and visit them when I can. We’re a very close knit family, and I’m sure we’d love to welcome you, too.” Yuuri’s tender voice bought warmth into Victor’s chest. “I’d love for you to meet them, one day. They’re truly amazing.” Yuuri smiled.

“I’m glad for you, Yuuri. I’m jealous, but I’m so happy that you have family at home to care for you.” Victor’s sigh was almost trembling. Victor was opening up to Yuuri, the world’s most adored bachelor was crying in his arms.
“Mom would love you. One day, we’ll and visit them.” Yuuri assures him, squeezing Victor close.
“I’d love that.” Victor and Yuuri held each other close, their bodies touching, wrapping in their own warmth. Both Yuuri and Victor were more fragile than they could ever have first thought, but they were coming together.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” Victor asked, breaking the peaceful silence. Yuuri looked up at him.
“Yeah. I have an early shift at the coffee shop tomorrow, from 8 till 4, so I’ll be gone when you wake up, unless you’re an early bird.” Yuuri chuckled.
“I’ll stop by for a coffee on your lunch break or something.” Victor smiled. “How about the evening?” Yuuri shook his head.
“I have dance rehearsals again. Even though the shows have started I still have rehearsals. And then on Sunday I have another show.” Yuuri cringed as he thought about his jam-packed schedule. “You can watch my dance rehearsal, if you’d like? Though, the rest of the cast will also be there this time.” Yuuri suggested.
“I’d love to. Now, back to sleep?” Yuuri nodded and closed his eyes.
“Thank you.”
—————————————————
To Yuuri, the weeks with Victor flew by. They were within their last two days together before Victor had to fly back, and Yuuri had spent every night of that last week at Victor’s rented apartment, making the most of it. He’d even taken that week off work, and every day after class Victor would be waiting outside for Yuuri with a bouquet of flowers. They laid in bed together one night, snuggled up under a thick, thick duvet.
“Yuuri?”
“Hmm?”
“Have you decided whether you’re going to audition for the Bolshoi school of ballet yet?” Victor asked, carding his fingers through yuuri’s hair.
“I want to, but I haven’t had a chance to discuss it with Minako yet, with the show and all. I would love to audition for it, but Minako’s feedback would be really helpful as there would be no point auditioning if I don’t stand a chance.” Yuuri sighed softly.
“I would love for you to join me in Russia.” Victor said warmly, nudging his nose against Yuuri’s temple.
“I’m just worried about Phichit. I know he’s got friends and he’s a social butterfly but… there’s just something unsettling about leaving him alone.” Yuuri expresses his worry, furrowing his brow gently.
“I’m sure he’d be fine, but talk to him about it, if it worries you.” Victor suggested.

Only tomorrow, and that’s it. Only tomorrow and Victor leaves. Yuuri let out a loud sigh.
“A penny for your thoughts?”
“You’re leaving after tomorrow, but I’ve become so used to seeing you every day I don’t know what I’m gonna do.” Yuuri’s brows knitted together, but Victor ran his thumb gently through the soft wrinkle.
“Don’t frown babe, or the wind will change.” Victor teased. “I don’t really want to leave you here either, but I have one more competition of the season, and some stuff to do for next season. I’ll try to visit again soon, promise.” Victor pulled Yuuri closer, their chests touching. Victor rested his hand on the small of Yuuri’s back.
“Phone me every day?” Yuuri requested. “I wanna see your face.” Yuuri smiled up, a hand coming to cup Victor’s cheek.
“Of course I will. And a good morning text, and a lunch time text, and an evening text, and a good night text, and a FaceTime call…” Yuuri chuckled.
“You don’t need to send that many if you have no time.” Yuuri nuzzled his face deep into the crook Victor’s neck, inhaling his scent.
“I’ll try my best.”
“You’re too sweet.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before Victor spoke up.
“Yuuri?”
“Hmm?”
“I erm… I want to ask you this in advance, but if you’re not comfortable, and not up to it, you don’t have to say yes.” Yuuri continued to listen. “Before I leave in two days time I’d like to… I’d like to make love to you.” Victor was blushing, but Yuuri could feel his face flare up. He let out a gasp. “It’s okay if you don’t want to!” Victor rushed to clarify.
“I want to make love to you too Victor, but I don’t know if mentally I can…” Yuuri squeaked. “I’ve never dared to try to be with anyone else since…” Yuuri paused. “Let alone be intimate with someone else…” Yuuri could feel tears beading in the corners of his eyes. “I want to, I really do, but I’m not sure if I can.”
“It’s okay if you’re not up to it. We can give it a go, and if you’re uncomfortable, we’ll stop. Simple as that.” Victor reassured. Yuuri cuddled closer, hiding his blushing face.
“Then… I leave myself in your hands…” he mumbled, just quiet enough for Victor to catch.
“I’ll take good care of you.”

Chapter Text

Victor removed his coat and hung it on the back of the hotel room door and dropped his bag on the floor by the bed before turning his attention to Yuuri.
“You looked beautiful. You did so well in the ballet today, I’m so proud of you.” Victor stepped forwards and held Yuuri close in his arms. Yuuri’s heart was boiling over with love and adoration, so much that Yuuri could feel his heart swell.
“I love you so much.” Yuuri said, just quiet enough for Victor to hear.
“I love you too, baby.” Victor gently picked Yuuri up and led him onto the bed. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Yuuri bit his lip, his eyes averting to the wall. Hesitantly, he nodded.
“I’ll be okay.” He let out a shaky breath.
“You’ll tell me if you want to stop?” Yuuri nodded again as Victor leaned down to kiss his nose. Adjusting his position, Victor moved himself just between Yuuri’s thighs, his hands gently undoing each button of his shirt.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” Victor softly tugged the shirt off Yuuri’s shoulders. Shaky, cold hands came up to his own buttoned shirt, slowly undoing each button. Victor leaned down to kiss Yuuri’s jaw, beautiful silver hair just brushing at his cheek. Yuuri let out a soft whimper as Victor moved down his neck. Yuuri’s soft whimpers drove Victor on as he made his way down his chest and to his nipple.

Victor took Yuuri’s pink nipple between his lips, his tongue lapping and sucking as it perked up. Yuuri began to moan louder, his hand moving up to cover his mouth. Immediately, Victor’s hand came up to hold Yuuri’s own, gently tugging.
“I want to hear you, Yuuri.” Victor’s soft voice prompted Yuuri to remove his hand.
“Ahh!” Yuuri let out a startled gasp as Victor’s lips were back at his nipple.
“Ahh… ahh, ahh… Victor! P-please… hold on…!” Yuuri’s soft voice squeaked and Victor immediately stopped.
“Are you okay? Was I too rough?” Victor sounded panicked as he squeezed Yuuri’s hand.
“N-nothing like that…” Yuuri panted. “J-just a bit too much…” Yuuri took a few deep breaths to calm his pounding heart. “I… You can… you can carry on…” Yuuri quietly said, squeezing Victor’s hand. Victor nodded, moving his focus to Yuuri’s other nipple.

Victor’s kisses worked down his torso to his navel, his hand still tightly intertwined with Yuuri’s. Victor touched the fastening on Yuuri’s trousers.
“May I?” Yuuri nodded quickly.
“P-please…” he whimpered, and Victor unfastened Yuuri’s black jeans and unzipped the zip before tugging them down his soft legs. Victor pulled back to remove his own trousers, and even though Yuuri had seen him in only his underwear many a time, Victor’s figure never failed to amaze him. Victor moved back, placing a kiss on Yuuri’s hip.
“Can I take these off?” Victor’s soft voice sliced through the whimpers and moans.
“Y-yeah…” Yuuri immediately tensed up as Victor removed his boxers. His knees reflexively closed and his hands shot down to cover over his hip. Yuuri’s breath hitched and he squeezed his eyes closed, his fists clenching tightly.
“Are you alright, Yuuri?” Victor’s concern made Yuuri’s heart throb.
“J-Just need a minute…” Yuuri’s voice was croaky and shaking as Victor moved back up.
“Let me know when you feel okay.” Victor pulled Yuuri against him, carding his fingers through his hair.

After a few moments of silence, Yuuri began to rock his hips against Victor’s thigh, burying his face in Victor’s neck.
“Alright, baby, I got you.” Victor chuckled, moving back down between Yuuri’s thighs. He reached over to his bag and removed their newly purchased bottle of lube and a pack of condoms, placing them on the bed. Victor ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s soft, yet formed thighs.
“You’re beautiful.” Yuuri’s breath hitched as a large, yet warm hand gently grasped his member.
“Is this okay?” Yuuri quickly nodded.
“P-perfect…” Yuuri groaned, his fingers gripping the bedsheets as Victor’s hand moved up and down. After a few strokes, Victor pressed a soft, gentle kiss to the head. Victor took the tip just into his mouth and began to suck.
“Haa!” Yuuri’s back arched beautifully, his hand flying down to grip Victor’s hair. Victor continued to suck as he coated his fingers in lube. Softly, he pressed the pad of his index finger to Yuuri’s fluttering entrance. Yuuri’s breath hitched as he bucked his hips upwards into Victor’s mouth, and then back into the single finger holding him open. Victor pulled back.

“Does that feel alright?” He asked, releasing Yuuri’s tip. Yuuri nodded, blushing and biting his lip.
“O-okay…” Yuuri grabbed the pillow next to him, gripping it to his chest as Victor worked a finger into him. Once it was all the way in, Victor held it there, marvelling in the way Yuuri clenched down, fluttering against his finger as he tried to hold back his whines.
“Let me know when it’s alright.” Victor said, voice soft and reassuring. Yuuri took a few deep breaths, trying to will his body to relax. He whimpered, his muscles clenching and unclenching. Eventually, Yuuri felt himself begin to relax, no longer tensing up.
“You can move…” a small voice said, and Victor tenderly leaned up to kiss Yuuri’s soft lips as he moved his finger. Gently, at first, in, and then out, before he began to crook his finger.
“Are you ready for another one?” Yuuri nodded, face red from passion. Victor slipped his finger out, earning a whine from Yuuri. He squeezed another generous amount of lube, coating his fingers again. With his clean hand, he lifted one of Yuuri’s legs onto his shoulder. Yuuri, embarrassed, smashed a pillow into his face to hide his fluster. Victor pushed both finger in at once, slowly working them in.
“Ahh… ahh… ahhhh… V-Vic—“ Yuuri’s breath hitched, his body squeezing around Victor’s fingers. Victor spread his fingers, scissoring them to open Yuuri up. He hooked his fingers up towards Yuuri’s navel, looking for—

“Nahhh! V-Victor! There! Ahh…! Ahh— Victor…” Yuuri panted, his breath heaving. His thighs trembled violently as Victor’s fingers scraped perfectly across his sweet spot.
“One more?”
“M-more…” Victor slipped a third finger in, continuing to attack the bundle of nerves inside Yuuri. Yuuri was almost crying, tears were filling his eyes as he whined under Victor’s ministrations.
“Is this okay?” Yuuri, biting and clenching the pillow between his teeth, nodded. Victor fingered him gently for a few more minutes, constantly teasing his prostate.

“V-Victor… Victor…” Yuuri called to get his attention.
“Yes?” A low, seductive voice responded.
“‘M ready…” Yuuri squeaked. Victor removed his fingers and picked up a condom, tearing it open with his teeth.
“You’ll tell me if you want to stop?” Victor asked as he removed his boxers.
“Yeah…” Yuuri’s breath hitched at Victor’s size, whimpering as he stared.
“See something you like?” Victor teased with a smirk, making Yuuri tear his eyes away as he squeezed more lube into his hand.

“Hold on—“
“Mm?” Victor tugged Yuuri up gently and swiftly turned them over, pulling Yuuri into his lap.
“This way, you’re in control.” Victor smiled, holding onto Yuuri’s hands. Victor aligned the tip to Yuuri’s entrance and slowly began to nudge in. Yuuri gasped, his hands clutching on to Victor’s chest. “It’s okay, take your time, Yuuri.” Victor said, one hand cupping Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri nodded, tears in his eyes as he slowly began to lower his hips.
“Hnng…” Yuuri panted as the thick member filled him up inch by inch.
“Slow down, Yuuri.” Victor chuckled. “We have all night.” Yuuri flushed at Victor’s comment. Eventually, Yuuri was fully seated on Victor’s dick.
“You feel alright?” Victor’s tender voice asked as he held Yuuri’s hips.
“Y-yeah… just… big…” Yuuri blurted out without thinking. Victor immediately blushed, then smirked.
“Thanks.” Victor chuckled.
“Ahh! Sorry I didn’t mean—“ Yuuri was cut off by a gasp erupting from his throat as Victor rolled his hips slightly.

Yuuri’s breath caught as he slowly began to lift his hips, holding his position before gently dipping back down. He slowly worked himself on Victor’s dick, up and down gently until he pulled out all the way to the tip. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri slammed his hips back down.
“Ahh!” He yelled, nails digging into Victor’s chest.
“Jesus Yuuri!” Victor’s breath hitched as Yuuri came slamming down. His fingers gripped his hip tightly, bound to leave nail marks and bruises the next day.
“Nngh… Haaa…. Ahh…” Yuuri’s soft moans filled the room as the moved together.
“V-Victor… I…” Yuuri whimpered, clenching hard around Victor. “G-gonna cum…” Victor pulled Yuuri down against his chest, kissing the shell of his ear.
“Together, Yuuri…” Victor panted through deep moans as they continued to love together.
“V-Victor… l-love you…!” Yuuri let out a high pitched moan as he spurted creamy, white fluid between their chests.
“Y-Yuuri!” Victor came with a low moan against the crook of Yuuri’s neck. “Love you too…” He panted.

Victor slipped out and pulled the condom off, tying it before tossing it into the bin near the bed before reaching for a wipe to wipe them down. Yuuri was crying against his shoulder.
“Are you alright? Does it hurt?” Victor asked, alarmed at Yuuri’s hot tears. Yuuri shook his head.
“I’m gonna miss you…” Yuuri squeaked. Victor ran a soothing hand up and down Yuuri’s back.
“Oh baby…” Victor’s heart bled. “I’ll miss you too. God, you’re gonna make me cry as well.” He chuckled, kissing Yuuri’s temple. “I’ll be back before you know it.” Victor reassured, hushing Yuuri as he cried. Victor gently tugged the thick blanket over their bodies.
“I don’t want you to leave…” Yuuri mumbled against his shoulder.
“I don’t want to leave you either, but that wouldn’t bode well with Yakov.” Victor chuckled. “The season is almost over, so I’ll be back soon.”
“You have to tell me next time, or I might actually have a heart attack.” Yuuri joked through the remnants of his tears.
“Alright.” Victor let out a laugh that Yuuri could feel rumble deep in his chest.
“You should go to sleep, Yuuri. You must be tired.” Victor said, his voice, soft and soothing, was making Yuuri’s eyes droop.
“I only have a few hours left with you, don’t make me sleep yet.” Yuuri complained, tucking his head under Victor’s chin as he shifted on the bed slightly.
“You’re so cute.” Victor said quietly, making Yuuri’s face heat up. “I’m gonna miss your blush when I leave.” Victor frowned.
“You’ll phone me when you can?” Yuuri asked.
“Of course. If you aren’t there to pick up, I’ll leave a message.” Yuuri nodded against his chest.
“I’ll try my best to answer the phone and to phone you too.” Yuuri said, eyes closed contently.

They laid in silence, just listening to each other’s breath, and feeling each other’s heartbeat. “Tomorrow,” Yuuri thought. “I have to let him go.” His heart sank as he held on tighter to Victor.
“Tomorrow,” Victor thought. “I have to leave him behind.”

Chapter Text

Victor awoke the next morning to Yuuri clinging on to dear life for him. There was a crease between his brows, the words “gears turning” practically written on his forehead.
“What are you thinking about?” Victor asked. Yuuri didn’t say anything, just clinged to Victor some more. After a few moments, Yuuri spoke.
“You. Always you.” Victor reached for a Yuuri’s hand and held it gently, lacing their fingers together. His hand was warm against Yuuri’s cold palms – they made him feel safe, secure.
“What about me?” Victor pressed.
“How handsome you are. How caring and sweet you are. How loving and romantic you are. But more so how lucky I was to meet you.” Victor planted a gentle kiss on his temple.
“Well, Yuuri Katsuki, I think you’ll be glad to know I have these thoughts every day about You.” Victor shifted slightly, tugging Yuuri’s waist against his own. Yuuri let out a deep sigh, tucking himself further into Victor.

“Is there anything you want to do today?” Victor asked, and Yuuri shook his head.
“Just cuddle with me.” He sighed softly.
“Your wish is my command.” Victor laughed lightly.
“What time do you have to leave?” Yuuri asked.
“I have to be at the airport for ten o’clock, so I’ll have to go back to the apartment I rented to quickly grab my stuff at about nine.” Victor recalled. Yuuri took Victor’s wrist to check the time on his watch. 9am. He still had twelve hours.
“Do you really have to go?” Yuuri asked, even though he already knew the answer.
“Unfortunately I do. Though I wouldn’t mind having you join me when you don’t have classes.” Victor said as he kissed Yuuri’s head.
“I have a holiday at the end of April but I have exams in May, so I can’t really afford to come over.” Yuuri sighed.
“Would you like me to come over? After your exams, since it’ll be the end of the season?” Victor asked.
“Are you sure? Don’t you have to prepare for next season?” Yuuri asked.
“Think of it as a reward for your hard work during exams.” Victor kissed his cheek.
“Then, I’ll look forward to it.” Yuuri laughed lightly. Three months ago had Victor proposed the idea of coming back in eight weeks for Yuuri’s benefit, Yuuri would have been flabbergasted and immediately declined, unable to even think of the idea that anyone would go so out of their way for him. But now, three months later, Victor has taught him that yes, there will always be someone willing to drop everything to make him happy, and that person was Victor himself.

There was a long silence, before Victor spoke.
“I want to show you around Saint Petersburg one day. Where I grew up, where I went to school, my training rink, my favourite places… so if you’d allow me, I’d like to take you there for Christmas?” Victor asked, and Yuuri gasped at the proposal.
“I would love that, Victor. I want you to share your childhood with me, and everything you love about Russia.” Yuuri smiled into his chest. “I’d absolutely love to spend Christmas in Russia with you.” Yuuri leaned up to capture Victor’s lips between his own. “I’d also like to take you to see where I grew up, where I lived, and everything I love about Hasetsu.” Yuuri added.
“The pleasure would be mine.” Victor said, planting soft kisses on Yuuri’s face.

Victor and Yuuri starved for the day, preferring to cuddle and talk, both phones turned off through the night.
“Hey, Victor,”
“Hmm?”
“You’ll let me know when you’re home, right? And send a picture of you and Makkachin?” Yuuri asked.
“Of course I will. The picture too?” Yuuri nodded, turning in Victor’s arms.
“Yeah. I’m in need of a new home screen photo.” Yuuri smiled and Victor chuckled.
“Then, can I take one of us now for my home screen.” Victor asked back.
“N-now?” Yuuri stuttered and Victor nodded. “I… I guess I don’t mind.” Yuuri smiled softly. “Glasses on or off?”
“I love both, so I don’t mind.” Yuuri nodded and reached over to the bedside table and grabbed his glasses, setting them on his face. Victor grabbed his phone.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.” Victor tugged Yuuri into his chest, holding his phone just above them. He leaned in and kissed Yuuri’s temple as he smiled, taking the picture. The camera went off with a click, and Victor inspected the photo. It was perfect, just their shoulders and upwards exposed, with a tiny bit of Victor’s chest.
“I love it.” Yuuri smiled, gently brushing his nose against Victor’s. Victor quickly set the photo as his home screen and set his phone back down, pulling Yuuri close again.
——————————————————
Eight o’clock rolls around fast and Victor has to get a move on.
“Darling, wake up.” He gently called to Yuuri, who had fallen asleep against his chest. Yuuri’s hazel eyes fluttered open. “Babe, I have to get ready.” Yuuri could feel tears welling, but he moved to release Victor. “Let’s take a shower together.” Victor suggested and Yuuri’ face lit up in the softest smile.
“Yes please.” Yuuri climbed off the edge of the bed, moving towards Victor.

Victor and Yuuri stayed huddled against each other under the spray of the water for what felt like forever.
“Let me scrub your back?” Victor asked and Yuuri nodded, turning around. Victor grabbed the hotel shower gel and a soft cloth, and began cleaning Yuuri’s back.
“I’m gonna miss this when you leave.” Yuuri sighed quietly.
“Enjoy it while it lasts.” Victor replied, kissing his cheek.
——————————————————
Yuuri was crying as he let go of Victor’s hand.
“I’ll text you when I get home to let you know I’m back safe.” Victor kissed the tears away from his eyes, gently swiping his thumb across his cheeks.
“I love you.” Yuuri felt more tears come to his eyes as he tugged Victor into a tight, warm embrace.
“I love you too. Have a safe flight.” He wished with a sigh.
“I will. I’ll be back soon.” Victor reassured him, pressing one last gentle kiss to his lips. “I have to go now.” Yuuri’s heart sank as he released Victor. Yuuri pressed one last kiss to his nose before bidding him goodbye.

Yuuri watched as Victor turned around, luggage in one hand, passport in the other, as he headed towards the check in desk. Victor turned around, cracking a soft smile at Yuuri, who smiled back through his tears. As soon as Victor turned back towards the desk, Yuuri also turned around, making his way to the exit where Phichit waited for him.
“In alright?” Yuuri nodded, his head just staring at the floor. They climbed into a taxi, and Yuuri stared out of the window. A few moments later, his phone lit up.

From: Victor <3
Just checked in and about to go through security. Let me know when you’re home safe. Love you <3
VN

Yuuri smiled down at his phone and typed out a reply.

To: Victor <3
Just in the taxi now, so will be home soon. Love you too <3
YK

The apartment door clicked open and Yuuri hauled himself into his room, closing the door behind him. He pulled Victor’s scarf over him and cuddled under the blankets.

To: Victor <3
Home now so don’t worry about me. Text when you’re home safe. Miss you (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)♡
YK

Yuuri turned his phone back off and set it on the bedside table as he closed his eyes. Unable to sleep, he picked himself up and emerged from his room.
“I’m going to the dance studio.” He said to Phichit who was sat on the sofa taking pictures with his hamsters.
“Alright. Let me know when you get there.”
“I will.” Yuuri picked up his dance bag and left promptly.

To: Minako
Heading to the dance studio. Will lock up after.
YK

When Yuuri arrived, he plugged his iPod into the dock and went to quickly get changed before returning.

Waking up to kiss you and nobody's there
The smell of your perfume still stuck in the air
It's hard
Yesterday I thought I saw your shadow running round
It's funny how things never change in this old town
So far from the stars

Yuuri danced blindly, just letting his limbs move freely. His thoughts ran straight to Victor. Victor, who was his boyfriend, his best support, the person who had loved him so so much that Yuuri began to find himself unable to imagine life without Victor, even though he had managed to do so for twenty two years. This man Yuuri would have to watch through a computer screen. He would have to watch as Victor’s posts were flooded full of comments telling him how much they love him. He would have to watch as Victor was flirted with and touched and all those other things that came with dating a celebrity.

And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now

Victor had taught Yuuri what it felt like to really be loved. He was gentle, and patient, but most importantly, he was oh so loving. Of course, he had his worries about a long distance relationship, because after all, he couldn’t even keep the person he was living with from cheating on him. But Victor was different. Victor was so, so different. He’d taught Yuuri how to trust, how to rely, and all those other things that a lover should teach you and more.

 

If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

Then Yuuri thought about Victor. Victor, who has to be so, so careful about being seen with Yuuri. Not out of shame, oh no. But out of fear. Imagine if people knew who it really was holding Victor close. Imagine if people knew about Katsuki Yuuri. All the comments, the horrible slurs, they made Yuuri’s heart tremble just thinking about them. Yuuri hasn’t dared to open the comments section on Victor’s most recent announcement – he didn’t want to find out what everyone thought of him, despite not even having a clue who he was. In fact, even Victor hadn’t checked up on his muted social media.

I saw that you moved on with someone new
In the pub that we met he's got his arms around you
It's so hard
So hard
And I want to tell you everything
The words I never got to say the first time around
And I remember everything
From when we were the children playing in this fairground
Wish I was there with you now

Yuuri was the luckiest man alive. Victor was perfect, and beautiful, and handsome. Yuuri was just Yuuri, and he couldn’t help but think about how far apart they really were to other people. But then Yuuri realised that he wasn’t just anybody, but he was the person who stole Victor’s heart, and he was the one who had taken him from the world. So many anxious thoughts ran through his mind when they first started dating, so many thoughts about whether he was good enough for Victor. Even now he still has doubts. But it’s okay, because Victor is always there to tell him that he is worthy, and that he is beautiful and loved and amazing.

As if the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you

Yuuri missed him dearly. The man who he’d spilled all his trauma to, the man who had loved him so dearly the night before, the man he had his arms wrapped around when he woke up. Yuuri wanted to hold on to him and never let go.

And I know that it's wrong
That I can't move on
But there's something about you
If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you
Drive highways and byways to be there with you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
You still make me nervous when you walk in the room
Them butterflies they come alive when I'm next to you
Over and over the only truth
Everything comes back to you
Everything comes back to you
————————————————
Victor finally, finally landed.

From: Yuuri <3
Home now so don’t worry about me. Text when you’re home safe. Miss you (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)♡
YK

Victor smiled and immediately typed out a reply.

To: Yuuri <3
Glad you’re home safe. Just waiting for my luggage now! Will let you know when I’m home and tell Makkachin you miss her. I miss you too ♡ what are you doing today? I need a nap before I do anything!
VN

Victor reinstalled all his social media apps and was bombarded by tweets and comments asking about his mysterious man. Sighing deeply, he ignored them for now and just focussed on getting home to Makkachin. Finally his luggage was in sight. Reaching over, he grabbed it at the speed of light, just wanting to get home.
——————————————————
He opened the door to his condo and Makkachin immediately came bounding by. Yuri stood up from the sofa.
“Finally. Here’s your mutt.” Yuri scoffed and Victor feigned a gasp.
“How could you! My only family!” Then he turned to Makkachin. “Were you good for Yuri?” He smiled, leaning down to scratch her ears.
“She was good, by the way. Also, congrats. Now I don’t have to hear your cheesy gushing.” Yuri spat.
“Thank you. You can go home if you want.” Victor smiled.
“Will do. Check your social media though. Reporters outside the rink every day waiting for you.” Victor scoffed.
“Why can’t they just leave me alone…” He sighed deeply.
“Honestly as the world’s most adored bachelor I’m not sure what you expected. See ya.” Yuri snorted, tucking his hands into his jacket pocket.
“Bye.” Before doing anything, he shot a quick text to Yuuri.

To: Yuuri <3
Home now! Love you ♡
VN

Hesitantly, Victor opened his Instagram.

@christophe-gc; told you you could do it ;)
@y-plisetscry; gross. Congrats.
@mila_babich; oooh! Tell us everything when you’re home!!!

He smiled at all the comments from his friends, wishing him a happy relationship. Then he came to the sour ones – his “fans”.

@nikiforlove__; urgh. Who is it. Bets?
@viki_niki_love; who stole our Victor?!!?!?
@victorsno1fan; probably a gold digger.
@nikiforlife; just after his wallet. Probably ain’t even cute.

Victor was fuming. How could people say that about someone they’d never even seen the face of? Such spiteful people. Bitterly, he deleted the comments and blocked every user who had left a spiteful comment. Next, he had to tackle Twitter. That would be fun.

@v-nikiforov; I will not tolerate any spiteful comments towards my partner. You’ll find yourself blocked and deleted. Please have some respect, you’ve never even seen his face. Thank you to those who stood up for him.

Some of his fans were amazing supporters, but others were just disgusting and spiteful. Just as he was fuming, Makkachin jumped into his bed, demanding attention.
“Oh? You want some cuddles?” Victor asked. “Did Yuri feed you?” Makkachin panted and licked his face. “Alright I’ll take that as a yes. Oh! Yuuri misses you, and wants a picture! Shall we take one now?” Makkachin, as if she understood the command, climbed into Victor’s arms.

Victor quickly snapped an adorable photo of Makkachin licking his cheek and sent it to Yuuri.
——————————————————
From: Victor <3
Glad you’re home safe. Just waiting for my luggage now! Will let you know when I’m home and tell Makkachin you miss her. I miss you too ♡ what are you doing today? I need a nap before I do anything!
VN

Home now! Love you ♡
VN

Victor sent an image.

Yuuri opened the image first, his heart swelling at the adorable picture of Victor and Makkachin. Saving it with a smile, he set the image as his home screen. If anyone asked he supposed he could just pass it off as being a fan.

To: Victor <3
I have classes today, and a night shift at work. Gonna be a long day… I take it you’ve had your nap? <3
You’re both adorable. Thanks for the picture :) <3
YK

Chapter Text

Victor’s alarm sounded for nine o’clock. Urgh. Surviving the day on three hours of sleep. He sighed deeply and slid the alarm closed, picking up his phone. He saw a text from Yuuri and quickly slid it open.

From: Yuuri <3
I have classes today, and a night shift at work. Gonna be a long day… I take it you’ve had your nap? <3
You’re both adorable. Thanks for the picture :) <3
YK

Victor smiled at the last part of the message and formulated a reply.

To: Yuuri <3
Aww… good luck – power through! <3 Yeah I did, just woke up! Looks like I’ll be surviving on three hours of sleep today… Still need to adjust to being back home.
Haha, not as cute as you are! We miss you lots. Gotta face the reporters later today when I go to the rink, I’m dreading it. Just leave me aloneeeee (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥`)
Love you <3
VK

Victor looked at the clock on his phone. It was about three o’clock in the afternoon in Tokyo, so Yuuri should be finishing up classes soon. He slid his phone back onto the bedside table and sat up with a sigh. Makkachin was still asleep at the foot of the bed, so he left her to sleep. Victor climbed off the bed with a long groan and headed to get ready for the day. When he came out of the bathroom he saw Makkachin sat by her food bowl.
“Alright girl, I’m coming, I’m coming.” Victor chuckled before going into the kitchen to grab a bag of her wet food. He then took her water bowl, refilling that too.

Finally, Victor was ready to face the reporters. He clipped Makkachin’s lead to her collar and grabbed his skating bag, ready to leave.
“Shall we face them, Makka?” Makkachin boofed, wagging her tail happily. “Lets go then.” Victor led Makkachin out of the apartment complex, shutting the door behind him. The walk to the rink was just… nerve wracking. Okay, Victor lied – he was definitely not ready to face the crowd. He decided to try the back entrance.
“Okay, Makka, gonna need you to be really quiet, can you do that for me?” Makkachin just looked at him and panted. “Shh…” He hushed as he went around the back of the ice rink.

“THERE! MR NIKIFOROV—“
“Shit…” Victor thought as he sighed and stopped in his pathway as reporters and cameramen came dashing up to him.
“Mr Nikiforov! May we ask you a few questions regarding your partner?” Victor immediately sighed.
“Like I said on my post I will not be revealing anymore about him and I ask that you leave both me and him be.” Victor was already irritated and they’ve only asked one question.
“Just a few questions – is he Japanese? We saw that your picture was taken in Tokyo?” One reporter asked, shoving a microphone in his face. Makkachin began to growl as more and more people came crowding in. Victor knelt down.
“Makka, sit.” Makkachin immediately sat at his feet, still growling. “It’s alright, they’ll be gone soon.” He said, though more aimed at them than Makkachin. He stood back up.

“Like I said earlier I will not reveal anymore about him.” Victor sighed.
“We assume he isn’t famous or well known, as we have not seen anyone posting about being your other half?” Another, way too keen reporter asked.
“Please do not assume things about him.” Victor said, trying to avoid the question.
“We’d like to know how—“
“I will not be answering anymore questions. Please respect my privacy.” At that exact moment, Victor’s message tone went off.
“Mr Nikiforov! Is that him?” A voice at the back shouted.
“I haven’t had a chance to look yet. I need to be on my way as I need to catch up on training.” Victor tried to escape but—
“Were you in Japan seeing your partner?!” One last question squeezed out before Yakov appeared.
“That’s enough! He will answer no more questions!” Yakov’s loud voice boomed, and Victor and Makkachin took the opportunity to escape into the rink.
“The only part of Victor’s life that concerns anyone is his professional life. That is all.” Yakov turned his back, following Victor in. Victor immediately let out a deep sigh. It was only ten o’clock and he was already tired and ready to go home.

He finally read Yuuri’s text.

From: Yuuri <3
Good luck – you can do it! Love you lots ♡♡♡
YK

To: Yuuri <3
Thank you – I love you too ♡♡♡ are you free for a phone call? It’s okay if you aren’t <3
VN

Victor just wanted to be left alone… He sat down on a bench at the side of the rink and changed into his skates. Immediately, his phone began to ring.

“Hey.” An angelic voice spoke at the other end of the line.
“Hey yourself. Are you okay?” Victor sighed.
“Yeah… just need to… destress myself I guess. I wanted to hear your voice.” He smiled.
“Oh? You did?” Yuuri replied, slightly amused.
“Yeah. How’s your day been? You have work soon, don’t you?”
“It was okay. It was just cold when I woke up. I really miss you. It took all my will power to get out of bed this morning. I spent all of last night at the dance studio thinking about you, and how much I love you. So I guess I just wasn’t really prepared to wake up alone… Class was alright, after work I need to write up tonight’s lecture notes, then head to the dance studio. I have another show in two days time so I have to prepare for that. Also gotta speak to Minako about my performance and all that jazz… so fairly mediocre I guess. How was the flight home?” Victor was so absorbed in Yuuri’s soft, silky voice that he didn’t even her the question.
“Victor?”
“Sorry solnyshko, your voice is just really soft… I miss it… what did you say?”
“How was your flight home?”
“It was alright. Lonely, I suppose. Likewise, it wasn’t very nice waking up alone. I had Makkachin but she’s just not the same as cuddling you to sleep. I guess I just really miss you too. Urgh, this morning I couldn’t even get into the rink without being stopped. They just kept asking and asking and asking. Just leave me alone…” Victor sighed. “I just want you in my arms now.” Victor chuckled.
“You’re so sweet.” Yuuri chuckled. “I’m sorry you had to put up with that. I hope they stop harassing you soon, or I’ll kick their butts!” Yuuri threatened, though it was empty. Victor laughed.
“Please don’t kick anyone’s butts Yuuri, as much as I’d love you to. Thanks for talking to me, I feel better now.” Victor tenderly smiled.
“Anytime. I have to go and get ready for work now, so I’ll have to let you go.” Yuuri said sadly. “Text me after training and I’ll text back in my break. I’ll phone again later if you’re not busy or anything?” Yuuri said.
“I’d love that. I’ll let you go and I’ll drop a text later. Kisses.” Victor smiled.
“Kisses.” Yuuri laughed. “Mwah.” He loudly kissed.
“Mwah!” Victor returned before cutting the call.

“You two are gross.” Yuri scoffed. “So so gross. You’re already acting like a married couple.” He added.
“I wish.” Victor bitterly laughed.
“VITYA! Get on the ice!” Yakov called. “Seriously, you’ve not been back a day and I’ve already had to clean up your mess.” He sighed, the fingers on one hand rubbing at his temples.
“So who’s the man?” Mila skated to the edge of the ice just as Victor stepped on.
“A man doesn’t kiss and tell.”
————————————————
Yuuri’s shift was slow.
“You alright?” Phichit asked.
“Yeah…” But really, Yuuri wanted to cry. Hearing Victor’s sweet voice made his heart soar – he just wanted to hold his hand, lace their fingers, touch their foreheads… was that too much to ask for? Yuuri sighed.

Business was slow, no one was really wanting a coffee today, so Yuuri went and disappeared for his break.

To: Victor <3
I’m on break now so if you’re free we can phone? ♡
YK

Immediately, his phone began to ring.
“Victor!” Yuuri sounded so happy.
“Hey. I’m actually not free but I decided to make some free time. Yakov always tells me off for using my phone during practice but I have a good reason. How’s work?” Victor laughed fondly.
“You should really listen to your coach more, Victor.” Yuuri chuckled. “It’s slow. I suppose no one really wants a coffee today. Decided to take my break earlier since no ones here. I can’t wait for this shift to be over. How’s practice?”
“Ehh… decided to start some choreography for next season to give me more time to come and see you! Then I’ve gotta practice my short program and free skate for the World Team Trophy next week. But other than that, it’s pretty normal. Still getting back into the routine I suppose.” Victor sighed deeply.
“You don’t have to deliberately force things in to come and see me you know.” Yuuri frowned.
“I know, but I really want to see you, and I know you really miss me, so I’m willing to work a bit harder.” Victor justified.
“God, I love you so so much.” Yuuri replies softly, his heart climbing up his throat.
“I love you too, angel. I’d better get back on the ice before I receive a bollocking. Kisses, Love you lots!”
“Love you too, kisses, mwah.”
“Mwah.” Yuuri cut the call.

“You two are so so sweet.” Phichit smiled. “I feel like a proud mom!”
“It would be sweeter if I could hold him.” Yuuri sighed bitterly, face falling and heart sinking.
“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” Phichit provided with a smile.
“I guess so.” Yuuri sighed.
————————————————
Victor’s absence kind of made Yuuri feel like he’d lost a limb. But that was okay, because every morning, he would wake up to a good night text from Victor, and immediately reply with a good morning text. Yuuri missed him. A lot. Everyday. Some days Yuuri just wanted to wake up wrapped in Victor’s arms but of course, that wasn’t possible. Most morning started with a huge sigh and a bit of a grumble about how Victor wasn’t next to him. Yuuri supposed he could deal with it, each day leading closer and closer to Victor’s return. God, he sounded like a wife waiting for her husband to return from war.

The day after his last show, Yuuri finally had some time to think about auditioning for Madame Baranovskaya’s Bolshoi School of Ballet. He recorded his piece for The Swan Lake and looked through it, making sure it was absolutely perfect.
“Minako?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you help me look through my piece please? I know you’ve looked through this piece a million times but I want it to be absolutely perfect.” Yuuri said, handing her the SD card to the camera.
“Yeah, sure thing. But why? The show is finished now.” Minako queried, slightly confused as she took the card.
“I want to audition for the Bolshoi School of Ballet in Saint Petersburg.”

Chapter Text

Minako’s face lit up.
“Have you finally decided you’re good enough to aim higher?” Minako teased.
“Yeah… had a bit of help from Victor with that.” Yuuri said sheepishly.
“Good. I’m glad he’s good for you.” Minako smiled. “Sure thing, I can have a look through, I’ll write down anything I think needs improving, anything I think is great and stuff.” She smiled.
“Thanks. I really want to send it off soon.”
“I’m happy for you, Yuuri.” Minako smiled warmly, laying a hand on his shoulder.
“Thank you, really, Minako. Thanks for everything.” Yuuri smiled back.
“You’re welcome, you squirt. I didn’t teach you to dance your entire life for you to not thrive.” She snorted and pulled Yuuri into a hug.
“I’ll get back to you ASAP about the tape. Now go home, you’ve had a long day.” Yuuri nodded and grabbed his stuff.
“See you tomorrow.”
——————————————————
To: Yuuri <3
Makkachin stole the jumper you left me ;A; she won’t give it back!! :( what a traitor!
How’s your day been? <3
VK

And… send!

Victor was holding Yuuri’s pink woolly sweater to his chest as he laid in bed when suddenly, a huge poodle known as Makkachin grabbed it, yanking it away.
“Makkachin! Give that back!” Victor feigned anger as he chased after Makkachin.
“Makkaaaaa! How could you do this to me!!!” He whined as Makkachin tucked the jumper under her as she laid on her bed.
“Makkachin Nikiforova you will surrender that jumper!” Makkachin seemingly ignored him, closing her eyes and snuggling up into it. Victor’s phone chimed.

From: Yuuri <3
Aww, Makka <3 I’ll send you another one, if you don’t manage to get it back :)
My day has been pretty boring… just classes and work and dance all crushed into 24 hours :(
How about you? <3 love you lots!
YK

Victor smiled down at his phone, quickly forgetting about Makkachin. Quickly, he typed out a response.

To: Yuuri <3
You’ve done well <3 keep going!! Just practice, practice, choreograph, practice… kind of… boring… but I’m really happy with next seasons ideas so far! Gonna try and get your jumper back one more time :( :(
Love you too <3 <3
VN

Victor virtually challenged Makkachin to a tug of war to get Yuuri’s jumper back and eventually, his childish efforts paid off.
“No! This is mine!” He called to Makkachin who just held the jumper under her body before letting go. Victor went back off to his room, jumper in hand, calling out his victory. Makkachin’s nails clicked behind him on the tiled floor as he went back to curl under the blankets. As he got comfy, his phone chimed.

From: Yuuri <3
I’m excited to see you skate next season! Surprise me <3 anyway, I need to sleep now, early start tomorrow!
Good night, lots of love <3
YK

To: Yuuri <3
I will do!!’ I’ll do my best!
I got your jumper back btw! I win HAHAHA!!!
Alright, good night my love! Lots of love <3
VN
——————————————————
The next morning, Yuuri was up early for classes. Sighing, he stepped into the building when he heard some whispers.

“You know that Russian figure skater has a new boyfriend? Someone told me he comes here!! Know who it is?” A male voice caught Yuuri’s ear and he listened in. His heart began to pound, the sound of blood rushing in his ears. His blood ran cold.
“Oh my god you remember that article a few months back that recently resurfaced after Victor Nikiforov’s post? I can’t quite tell who it is but isn’t that taken out by the gates here?” A female voice added to the conversation, and Yuuri could feel his palms begin to sweat.

Yuuri’s heart began racing. His legs were trembling as he forced himself to block the voices out, quickly dashing to his lecture hall.

“A week ago Victor finally spoke live about his boyfriend but refused to answer anything! It was on TV this morning - heard he comes here though, I wanna know who!”
“Urgh. You reckon whoever’s dating him is dating him for his money? What a gold digger.” Definitely a jealous fangirl. If only she knew who was really dating the great bachelor of the world.

Yuuri gritted his teeth, body tensing up. All throughout his lecture he just tried and tried to block the voices out but they just got louder and louder and louder, voices mixing and merging together into a lump of yells and shouts in his ear. He was gritting his teeth, his leg shaking and his breaths quake and uneven. He could feel tears coming to his eyes, his head spinning and eyes seeing spots.
The whispers were going on and on and on. What would they do if they found out Yuuri was dating Victor? He couldn’t have them trying to attack Victor, and ruin his reputation. Maybe Yuuri was wrong. Maybe this wasn’t going to work.
“No.” He told himself. “It will work.”
But he couldn’t help but doubt. When everyone found out, would he have to let Victor go?
He couldn’t take anymore.

“Victor’s probably just messing with him. He’s untouchable.” A female voice snorted, loud and clear.
“What’s so special about him? No one even knows who he is!”
“They don’t deserve Victor, what the hell.” Wow. That was spiteful.

Half way through his lecture, Yuuri dashed out of the room and ran straight for a quiet courtyard at the corner of the university.

To: Victor <3
They’re talking about me… I don’t know what to do…

Yuuri sent it and as fast as lightning, a text came through.

From: Victor <3
What do you mean? You want me to phone you?

To: Victor <3
Please… I’m really scared…

Immediately, his phone started to ring.

“He—“
“Baby are you alright? Do you need me to come over?” Victor’s voice was laced with worry and concern.
“T-they’re talking… about your mystery man…” Yuuri squeaked. “T-they figured out I come to this uni and… and they…” Yuuri’s voice hitched with tears.
“Baby, baby. Take a deep breath. In and out.” Yuuri followed Victor’s breaths.
“T-they started saying things… saying I… I was a gold digger… a-and I was only after your money…” Yuuri was sobbing, tears staining his pink cheeks as he gritted his teeth. “T-they said you were only playing with me a-and there’s nothing special about me…” Yuuri quietly sobbed.
“Oh… solnyshko… are you alright?” Victor asked, even though he thought it was a stupid question.
“I’m fine… just wish you were here…” He sniffled, choked sobs seeping through.
“Do you want to FaceTime me?” Victor asked. His voice was so tender and soft, it calmed Yuuri’s beating heart and racing mind so much.
“C-can I phone again when I get home?” Yuuri asked quietly.
“Of course you can. I’ll wait for you.”
“Thanks…”
“Yuuri?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you, so, so, much.” Victor smiled. Yuuri was crying again.
“I wish you were here…”

Yuuri fought back tears all the way home.

“Yuuri! I’m so worried about you! Are you alright? Are you getting enough sleep?” Victor’s frantic voice asked as soon as Yuuri called.
“I don’t wanna let you go…” Yuuri whimpered as he pulled his blanket up to his chin tighter, Victor’s scarf clutched between his fingers.
“Who said anything about—“
“W-when they all find out who I am I don’t want to let you go! I don’t want to give you back! But I don’t want them to attack you and… I don’t want to ruin your career…” Yuuri’s voice squeaked.
“Malysh, I would never let you go. Ever. No matter what anyone says, I will never let you go.” Victor’s calm and patient voice said firmly.
“B-but what if they start saying things about you? Because of me? What if they start attacking you a-and h-hurting you…” Yuuri was so worried. Finally he’d found the man he wanted to hold close forever, but maybe it was too good to be true. “I don’t think I could handle it if I ruined your career…” Yuuri cried.
“The only ones who would be ruining my career are those people saying nasty, spiteful things about you, baby. I love you so so much.” Victor reassured him, giving a soft smile.
“I love you too… but I can’t help but think what if… What if I have to let you go?” Yuuri’s tears fell harder, even saying it made his heart rip out of his chest. “What if I had to let you go? So everything could be normal again for you…” Yuuri cried. “I want to keep you for myself…” He squeaked.

“Yuuri Katsuki. You will always have me. Even if you break me, throw me away, toss me out like garbage, you will always, always have me. You don’t have to let me go. Even if you did, I would never let you go.” Victor said, trying to calm Yuuri’s trembling form through his phone screen.
“But… how can you be so sure?” Yuuri asked quietly. Victor chuckled.
“Yuuri, you ask me how I’m so sure I love you with all my heart, yet you’re so sure that you’ll have to leave me if everyone found out who you were? You’re an odd one, you know that?” He laughed slightly.
“What do you mean?” Yuuri asked, looking at him like a confused lamb.
“What I’m trying to say is, you’re so so sure on everything negative, yet so doubtful of everything positive. I want you to know that around me, you can always be sure of the positives. You will always be the one for me, Yuuri. Even if one day you find out I’m not the one for you, you’ll always be the one for me.” Yuri teared up at the last bit.
“I love you so much more than I could ever tell you…” Yuuri’s small voice quietly spoke.
“I’d give you the moon if I could. Now, have I soothed all your worries?” Victor asked and Yuuri nodded, face red from crying.
“Good. Would you like me on the line a little longer?”
“Please.” Yuuri requested as he closed his eyes. “Tell me a story? I want to hear your voice.” Yuuri said, curling up with Victor’s scarf.

“Alright. Once upon a time, a lonely, lonely prince walked into a small café, just wanting a coffee. But, a beautiful, gorgeous angel caught his eye. This angel was… fascinating. Adorable. Those blue rimmed glasses, thick, black hair. He was simply perfect. For weeks, the prince tried to go after the angel, with very minimal success. But one day, he just… bumped into him! And he landed himself date. Much to the prince’s surprise, this beautiful angel was a dancer. A very shy, yet talented dancer. The most graceful dancer. Slowly, they began to fall in love. Even after the prince had returned home, their love only grew stronger and stronger. Word got around that the prince had potentially found a consort, but no one knew who this mysterious man was. This angel was so, so shy, so, so scared when murmurs went around about him. But of course, his knight in shining armour came in the form of his prince. And our story still goes on.” Victor finished. Yuuri snorted.
“You’re such a dork. Such a romantic.” He smiled softly.
“I’ll be the biggest dork in the world if I can make you smile just once today.” Victor smiled lovingly.

Chapter Text

Yuuri felt a lot better after having spoken on the phone to Victor. But that didn’t exactly make anything better.

Whispers and rumours began circulating fast around the campus.
“Isn’t that him?” A female voice said, rather quietly, but not quiet enough for Yuuri. Yuuri’s blood ran cold.
“Are you sure? Why would Victor wanna date him? He’s boring!” Another female voice added.

“Keep walking…” Yuuri told himself. “Just keep walking.”

“Hey is that who Maya was telling us about?” A male voice, this time. God. The voices were so much louder. Yuuri wouldn’t even bag an eyelid at these people’s conversations on a regular day but… he was catching every word of every conversation about him.
“Seriously? Victor went for him? I don’t think so.” Another voice sighed. As Yuuri stepped into the classroom, murmurs picked up. He took a seat, and more whispers began.

“Didn’t he suddenly run out of class yesterday?” A voice behind him asked to the person next to him.
“Yeah. I didn’t realise he was in our class until yesterday.” Oh no. This was going to be a horrible day. Yuuri tried to drown everyone out and just focus, focus, focus on his work.

“… if you’re so curious why don’t you ask him?” The girl behind him scoffed. Not a few moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around.
“Y-yes…?”
“Is this you?” Another girl held her phone up to him with a picture. The image was that one on the article Victor had first sent him. He just stared at it.
“I…” Yuuri didn’t know what to say.
“Is It?” She pressed, her voice firm,
“I… I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Yuuri squeaked, his head quickly whipping back down to his work. Just saying that hurt. He never wanted to deny how much he loved Victor. Yuuri released a deep breath. It was only now that he’d realised how clear that picture of him was. How had no one noticed it was him until now? Surely someone must have at least recognised him…

“Just look! The glasses and the way he dresses! Everything! Even his height! It’s definitely him!” Wow, talking about him like he’s not sat… Right in front of them.
“Ehh… but Victor could have anyone! Why him? Why not me?” The other girl groaned. “Victor’d just leave him after a week anyway and go after someone else.” She snorted. “He’s probably a playboy like that.” Yuuri tried to ignore them for the rest of the lecture.

An hour later, it was finally, finally over.
“I’d appreciate it if you would stop talking about me like I’m not there. I’d also appreciate it if you didn’t make assumptions about someone you don’t know.” He hissed bitterly as he stood up, grabbing his bag.
“So? Is it you? In that photo?”
“If you think it is, why are you still asking?” Yuuri said in anger, slightly louder than he’d intended.
“Jesus. What’s with the attitude?” She scoffed. “Don’t think you and Victor will last long.” Yuuri’s head immediately whipped around. He couldn’t care less about being ashamed or embarrassed anymore. He couldn’t stand the things being said about him, but more importantly, about Victor.
“You don’t get to dictate me and Victor’s relationship. You know absolutely nothing about me or him. You can say all the shit about me that you want for all I care, but keep Victor out of it.” Humiliated and angry, Yuuri left the lecture hall quickly, almost in tears. He didn’t even bother to stay and hear what they had to say about Victor. He made a dash for the main gate and ran and ran and ran home.

Sobbing, he tipped out a combination of pills and swallowed them down with some water. Still crying, he phoned Victor.
“My love! I was just about to call y— are you alright?” Victor’s voice softened as he heard choked sobs coming from the other end of the line. Yuuri sniffled.
“I… I’m fine… just a bit overwhelmed…” he responded quietly.
“Did something happen?”
“Yeah…”
“Hold on, lemme switch my camera on.” Victor hit the camera icon on his phone and was greeted by Yuuri’s tear stained face. “Oh babe… what happened?” He asked sorrowfully.
“S-some girls were talking about me and asking me if it was me in the photo. I said “if you think it’s me why are you still asking?” And she said me and you wouldn’t last long, and she was implying that you were a cheater and a playboy and I got so angry…!” Yuuri’s eyes leaked angry tears. “I couldn’t stand and listen to them say horrible things about you…” Yuuri sniffled.
“Thank you for standing up for me, Yuuri. But did you remember to stand up for yourself too?” Yuuri looked up.
“I don’t care what they say about me, I care what they say about you!” Yuuri exclaimed, wiping his tears.
“You’re the sweetest Yuuri, I love you so much. But don’t worry about me. I’m one thousand times more fabulous than they are and everyone knows it!” He scoffed, making Yuuri chuckle.
“You’re right, you are.” He smiled tenderly as he wiped the last of his tears.
“I wish I could hold you…” Victor said sadly, holding Yuuri’s jumper to his chest. Immediately, tears started welling up in Yuuri’s eyes again.

“I miss you…” Yuuri smiled lovingly.
“I miss you too, my love. I’ll be back soon. When do your exams start?” Victor asked, trying to change the topic.
“In six weeks time. We’re just doing revision in classes at the moment but I really don’t wanna go to them…” He sighed sadly.
“You’re better than they are Yuuri, don’t worry about them. And don’t worry about me. Always put yourself first.” Victor advised with a smile as Yuuri groaned.
“I just want to run away from them and never come back.” He chuckled.
“You can do it – two more months and you never have to see them again.” Victor smiled.
“Urgh I’m so embarrassed! I can’t believe I shouted at them like that…” Yuuri held his head in his hands. “I’ve never even spoken to them before that!” He whined and Victor laughed.
“Well, they were talking about you first so if you ask me they kind of deserved it.” Yuuri chuckled.
“Thanks for listening to me. You might get one of these calls every day for the next two months.” Yuuri chuckled and Victor snorted.
“As if I’d mind that.” He smiled.
——————————————————
More rumours went around campus about Yuuri. Wow, word sure got round quick here. He felt much better after having stood up for their relationship the day before. For now, he ploughed through the day, focussed only on his studies. The things they said bothered him deeply. He wanted to scream and shout and screech at everyone, but what good would that have done for him?

Here’s the thing; had these rumours started circulating before Yuuri and Victor started dating, Yuuri surely would have had a nervous breakdown. He would have cried to himself, not turned up to class, isolated himself, and all those other old habits that surfaced during anxious episodes. Yuuri would have fallen into depression again, refused to see anyone, refused to do anything… but Victor, Victor. Victor was… a magical being. Because he made Yuuri realise his own self worth. Yes, he still sometimes doubts it. Yes, he still sometimes doubts everything, but who wouldn’t, after what Ryan had put him through.
But Victor, this miracle of a man, is the most important person to him and Yuuri is willing to do just about anything to hold onto him. And that includes standing up for them both, it includes facing his deepest fear of humiliation, it includes fighting his own head, all whilst putting on a brave face.

Chapter Text

Spiteful sayings went around Yuuri’s university, spreading like wildfire. Literally anything from “Katsuki Yuuri? As in dancer-psychologist-quiet-doesn’t say a word Katsuki Yuuri?!” To “why would anyone wanna date him? Victor must be blind.” Yuuri’s outside had grown immune to these insults, but inside he could feel his heart being torn to pieces.
“It’s okay.” He said to himself softly. “Victor loves you.” He told himself, even though the things being said about him made him cast some doubts. What if they were right, and Victor was just playing with him? No, he wouldn’t do that, right? Not if he flew half way across the world to surprise him. But huge what ifs continued to swarm Yuuri’s head, filling him with not only anxious thoughts about things being said about him, but heart breaking thoughts about Victor too.
“Stop thinking…” He screeched to himself. He was going to break soon.

As soon as Yuuri got home, he could feel himself release a deep breath, full of worries and sadness. He slid down the bedroom door and took another trembling breath. After the first few days he’d been pretty brave about it, but two weeks down the line he’d had just about enough.

Yuuri cried to himself. Not just because of the things going around about him, but because of his finals, trying to balance his job on top of that, as well as still trying to find time for dance. The rumours surrounding Yuuri were just the cherry on top. He let himself wallow in his own pity for an hour before he lifted his pounding head. Yuuri stood up He switched his phone off and slid it into the bottom drawer of his bedside table. Thank god it was the weekend, he could finally get some proper revision done. Finally leaving his room, Yuuri grabbed a crate of bottles of water and hauled them to his room. Immediately, Yuuri buried his head in revision.

The week went by, Yuuri tried his best to ignore anything and everything. He cut himself off from everyone and everything – even Phichit barely saw him, and they live together. Each morning he would go to class, go to work, go home and revise… Dance only really fit in on the weekends, which was a shame. His only stress reliever and he couldn’t even find time for that. Yuuri hadn’t even thought about Victor.
——————————————————
Victor was worried sick. Yuuri had replied to his good morning texts every day since they started dating. But this time, Yuuri hasn’t replied for three days straight. He hadn’t even read them.

To: Yuuri <3
Good morning <3
VN

To: Yuuri <3
Are you alright darling? Text back when you can? ♡
VN

To: Yuuri <3
Good morning :) are you okay? ♡
VN

He tried phoning this time. The phone rang for a few seconds before—
“The person you have called us not available. Please try again—“ Victor hit the end call button. Alright, no phone call either then.

To: Yuuri <3
I take it you’re busy. Make sure you eat and drink lots too ♡
VN

To: Yuuri <3
Is it something I’ve done? Sorry for being a bother… Don’t overwork yourself ♡

Victor was actually about to cry. Suddenly it was like Yuuri had completely disappeared. His Instagram was down, his twitter was down too. Victor was worried sick. What if Yuuri was getting bored of him? Had Yuuri found someone else? Victor’s heart was about to shatter into pieces. He tried to block out his black and white thinking but he just couldn’t help it. He wouldn’t be surprised if Yuuri didn’t want him anymore. After all, his father didn’t want him, his mother clearly got bored of him too. If he couldn’t even keep his parents around, what even possessed him to think he could try to keep a long term boyfriend either?
After six days of Yuuri’s radio silence, he decided to give it one more shot and contact someone else.

To: phichit+chu
Hi Phichit – is Yuuri alright? He hasn’t responded to my texts in four days… let him know I love him?
VN

A reply came back about an hour later.

From: phichit+chu
Honestly I don’t know… he wakes up, goes to class, goes to work, revises, and it just repeats. He hasn’t spoken to anyone all week and even I haven’t spoken more than a word to him. I’ll let him know for you. I’ll keep my eye on him too.

That rendered Victor even more worried, not quite the outcome he was expecting. Victor couldn’t keep Yuuri our of his mind.
——————————————————
“Victor is really worried. He says he loves you. You should probably check your phone.” Phichit said with a knock on Yuuri’s door.
“Thanks, Peach.” Yuuri sighed and reached for his phone from the bedside cabinet. Turning it on, he immediately was flooded with messages and calls from Victor. At that moment, Yuuri’s phone rang and he picked it up.
——————————————————
“Victor, please not now.” He sighed. He sounded… stressed. Like he was going to break.
“Yuuri! Thank god you’re alright…” he sighed deeply. Yuuri said nothing. “I just wanted to phone to say I love you…” Victor’s heart sank as there was a long pause. “I’ll… let you go now…” Victor squeaked. God, he sounded so… vulnerable. Hesitantly, he moved to cut the call.
“I lov—“ Yuuri started, but he realised Victor had just cut the call. Yuuri wanted to cry. It was the first time Yuuri had heard his voice in a week. Even if it was just for the ten seconds they were on the phone. But… Victor had just cut the call. Just like that. Yuuri didn’t even get the chance to—

But then Yuuri realised. Victor had given him plenty of chances to reply. Through texts, calls, even their call just then. But instead of saying “hi, thanks for checking up on me!” Yuuri basically told him to go away. Angry at himself, Yuuri threw his pen across the room. All this time Victor had been worried, had wanted to let Yuuri know he was worried, but Yuuri just… didn’t even think about him. God, he must have made Victor feel like shit. Yuuri opened all of Victor’s messages.

From: Victor <3
Good morning <3
VN

From: Victor <3
Are you alright darling? Text back when you can? ♡
VN

From: Victor <3
Good morning :) are you okay? ♡
VN

From: Victor <3
I take it you’re busy. Make sure you eat and drink lots too ♡
VN

From: Victor <3
Is it something I’ve done? Sorry for being a bother… Don’t overwork yourself ♡

Yuuri cried. He’d been so shitty towards Victor that Victor even thought it was his fault he was being ignored. How could he have done this? All he had to do was check his phone once. He didn’t even have to do that. He just had to tell Victor he loved him too, and that he was okay. But Yuuri even failed to do that. Everything was just falling apart under his feet. His school like, his studies, his work, his dance… his relationship.

Shaky fingers tried to dial Victor back.
“The numbed you have called is unavailable—“ Yuuri let out a heavy sigh and tossed his phone on the bed.

To: Victor <3
I love you too, thank you for checking in on me. Sorry for ignoring you… I love you ♡♡♡
YK

Yuuri anxiously waited for a reply.
——————————————————
Victor almost cried. Yuuri hadn’t said “I love you,” back. Maybe Yuuri really was bored of him, and ready to toss him away. Maybe Victor really was just that easy to throw out. Frustrated and upset, Victor tossed his phone down on the sofa and grabbed his coat and scarf, taking the opportunity to take Makkachin out for a walk. Thoughts, worries, and insecurities all clouded his head. He couldn’t be upset at Yuuri but… what had he done to deserve the cold shoulder? He just wanted to make sure he was okay. Victor tried his best to not think too deeply. Maybe Yuuri was also thinking just as deeply as he was, but he just couldn’t help but feel a little hurt.
Victor knew Yuuri had a lot to think about. He could understand the text messages, but when they were on the phone… a simple “I love you” wouldn’t take much, right?

Chapter Text

Yuuri wanted anxiously for a reply, phone clutched in his trembling hands as he took a shaky breath. He couldn’t focus, his mind spinning and making him dizzy. The wait was nerve wracking. He sent another text just to be safe.

To: Victor <3
I really am sorry. Please text back soon ;A; I want to talk to you…
YK
——————————————————
Victor managed to clear his head. The cold Saint Petersburg air hit his face, calming his dizzying mind. He thought about Yuuri. Anything. Everything. He thought back to when they first met on a frosty December morning, how they first got together on a chilly mid-March night, how they parted for the first time as lovers on a warm April evening. Then he thought back to when Yuuri began having a hard time in university, about how hurt and angry Yuuri was, about how he cried almost every night for a week to Victor about how aggravating the situation was.

And then Victor realised that everything he’d thought about Yuuri before, about Yuuri no longer wanting him, or not loving him, just couldn’t be true. They couldn’t be true because Yuuri’s heart was so pure and fragile, he was so shy and sensitive that Victor was the only person he’d ever wanted to hold on to tightly. The whole world seemed to be against Yuuri at the moment, and the most important thing he needs right now is Victor’s support, even if he doesn’t know how to ask for it, or show he needs it. Victor was an idiot.

After half an hour he rushed home, Makkachin following at his feet. As soon as he opened the door he slipped his shoes of and picked his phone up from the sofa, quickly unlocking it.

From: Yuuri <3
I love you too, thank you for checking in on me. Sorry for ignoring you… I love you ♡♡♡
YK

From: Yuuri <3
I really am sorry. Please text back soon ;A; I want to talk to you…
YK

Immediately Victor phone him.
——————————————————
Yuuri’s phone sounded to life, vibrating in his hands. His heart pounded as he quickly answered it.
“Victor!”
“Yuuri!” Yuuri could feel tears coming to his eyes.
“I love you so much I’m so sorry for giving you the cold shoulder and ignoring your texts and calls and I understand if you’re angry with me and—“
“Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was soft, yet firm. “I’m not mad at you.” Victor said quietly, and Yuuri gasped a little. “I was upset, frustrated, even. I also thought you got bored of me, or maybe you didn’t want me anymore, but I realised that you’re busy and stressed, so I shouldn’t bother you. I know you love me, I really know that you love me, and I love you too.” He quietly spoke, his voice full of love and adoration. Yuuri’s heart clenched, almost splitting. He could feel it crack down the centre as he realised how much he’d hurt him.
“I should never have made you feel like that…” Yuuri squeaked. “I didn’t mean to ignore you and I didn’t mean to… to sound so harsh down the phone…” Yuuri was almost crying again. He sniffled, nose puffing up and eyes watering.
“Yuuri, Yuuri. It’s okay. I understand. It’s okay.” Victor tried to reassure him.
“It’s not! I made you feel like shit and I made you doubt me and… I’m sorry…” Yuuri’s voice was sad, full of sorrow.
“Baby, really. It’s alright, I understand. Can I see your face?” Victor asked softly. God, Yuuri missed this man.
“Yeah.” Yuuri pulled the phone away from his ear and tapped the camera icon.

“Hey.” He sniffled, slotting his phone onto the dock in his desk.
“Hey yourself.” Victor chuckled. Yuuri’s eyes averted to stare at his hands, his thumbs twiddling as he held his breath.
“Yuuri?” Yuuri’s head shot up.
“Yes?” He responded.
“I love you.”
“I can’t help but think you’re still angry at me or you don’t want to talk to me anymore and I’m—“
“Yuuri?” Victor cut him off abruptly. “I love you.” His voice was tender and soft, patient as Yuuri rambled.
“I love you too... I’m sorry.” Yuuri releases a deep breath he didn’t even realise he was holding.
“You don’t have to apologise, Yuuri.” Victor chuckled with a smile, his turquoise pools staring back at Yuuri’s own hazel irises, glittering and full of love.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise—“ He clamped his hand over his mouth as Victor let out a lighthearted laugh.

“How’s your revision been going?” Victor asked, attempting to change the subject.
“It’s… there’s still a lot for me to do. I need to finish and submit my dissertation, write up my final piece of research, as well as revise the other half of the content.” Yuuri sighed deeply.
“Would you like me to sit with you while you revise?” Victor asked, and Yuuri nodded.
“Please.” He sighed again. “I feel like I might tear my hair out.”

Victor watched him quietly for fifteen minutes, just staring lovingly at his beautiful love. Still to this day Victor couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have landed Yuuri. He longed everyday to just… hold him tight and never let go. Victor wanted to wake up to Yuuri’s sleeping face, he wanted to kiss him awake everyday, watch him dance every night, share meals with him every evening. Victor wanted to marry him so badly.

“Yuuri?”
“Hmm?” Yuuri looked up from his notes.
“I’d gift you the moon if I could.” He smiled contently, amused by the immediate rise in colour to Yuuri’s previously pale cheeks. “I love you.” He added, just another way to give Yuuri a heart attack.
“Victor?” Yuuri composed himself.
“Hmm?”
“I’d hang every star in the sky for you.” He said, embarrassed, but so in love. “Because I love you too, you cheesy dork.” Yuuri chuckled as Victor felt his heart swell, beating and coming up his throat. His sucked in a deep breath of air, the corners of his lips turning up into the most passionate smile. They stared longingly at each other before Yuuri put his pen down.

“Victor?”
“Yes?”
“You know that picture of us, the one where you’re kissing my cheek and we’re holding hands?” Yuuri asked, Victor mentally flicking through his cognitive photo album.
“Quite a few fit that description, Yuuri.” He pointed out.
“The one where we have matching hats and matching scarves!” Yuuri added. “Can you… erm… p-post that on your Instagram?” He asked, voice soft, almost shy.
“But that one shows your face…?” Victor was confused, baffled for a moment.
“I…” Then Yuuri mumbled something quiet and inaudible, a mumble of some kind.
“Huh?” Victor raised an eyebrow as he leaned to adjust his position.
“I said…! I want to… show the whole world that you belong to me…” he repeated, cheeks bright red as he stared down at his desk.

Victors face lit up, brighter than the sun, if you were to ask Yuuri.
“Is my Yuuri getting possessive and jealous?” Victor teased, his tone playful, yet happy.
“I-I’m not jealous!” Yuuri protested. “I just… may as well give everyone something to talk about, right? Since they’re already talking about me.” He pouted as Victor let out a soft laugh before moving to lean his cheek on his palm.
“Alright alright, if you insist. What do you want me to write?” Victor asked as he slotted his phone onto the dock of his table before pulling the picture up on his iPad.
“Surprise me.”
“Your wish is my command.”
——————————————————
Half an hour later, Victor had made the post.
“I did it!” Victor smiled as Yuuri opened Instagram.

The picture of Victor and Yuuri wearing matching hats and scarves was posted, Victor’s soft lips against Yuuri’s pillowy cheek as they smiled contently, Makkachin between them.

@v-nikiforov; in spite of recent events, both me and my love have decided it would be best to introduce you all.
This beautiful man is the love of my life, the man who stole my heart, and the man who all of you have been so eager to meet. He has been my biggest and best support, the most important person in my life, but also, my inspiration. He’s beautiful, elegant, and everything I could ever want. He’s been so patient with me, he’s been simply amazing. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him wrapped in my arms. Everyone, meet Yuuri Katsuki, the love of my life ♡

“It’s perfect.” Yuuri smiled. “Just like you.” Victor’s heart fluttered. “You’re the sweetest. I can’t wait to see you again.” Yuuri added. God, Victor was going to have a heart attack.
“I can’t wait to hold you, and love you, and shower you in kisses.” Victor’s heart was pounding, he was so in love with this man. If you’d asked Victor whether he believed in true love he would have laughed in your face and told you such thing is a myth. But Yuuri, precious Katsuki Yuuri opened his eyes to just how beautiful life was with someone to love. Someone to wake up to texts from, someone to call every night, someone to tell you they loved you. That last one was something Victor lacked in his life – he still remembers the first time Yuuri said he loved him, because to Victor, it was the very first time someone had said those words and genuinely meant it.

They stayed up a bit later, chatting and fawning over each other before Yuuri cracked a yawn.
“You should go to sleep. You sound like you’ve had a tired week.” Victor said.
“I’ve had a… stress inducing, tiring, on the verge of tears kind of week.” Yuuri sighed.
“Don’t over work yourself. I want to be able to hold you when I come over in six weeks time.” Victor chuckled as Yuuri let out a quiet yawn.
“I just want these two months to be over…” Yuuri complained with a pout.
“You can do it, my love.”

Chapter Text

“I told you it was him!” A female voice exclaimed. Yuuri turned around to see her holding her phone, a crowd of her friends staring down at the device. Yuuri whipped his head to stare back at the floor as he walked. He just wanted to get his classes over and done with but of course, that was too much to ask for.

“Did you see Victor’s post over the weekend? It’s actually Katsuki Yuuri! Can you believe that?”
“How did someone like Katsuki land Victor Nikiforov?!” Another voice sighed. “He’s so quiet and boring!” Yuuri could feel himself start to tremble, gritting his teeth and biting his cheek to stop himself from crying.

“I wonder what Victor sees in him.” A male voice scoffed and Yuuri made a quick sprint before stopping. That one hurt, really hurt. Because not only did it insult him, but it was an insult to Victor too. Yuuri just wanted to curl up and drown.
Trudging the rest of the way to class, Yuuri sighed as he took his seat at the front of the lecture hall. Yuuri’s head was spinning – he’d stayed up ridiculously late the night before, trying to force information to go into his head for his exams in a few weeks time.

“No way it’s actually him!” Urgh. Not again. Yuuri just wanted this to be over.
“I already told you it was him!” A voice behind him argued back. Seriously, they weren’t even trying to be discreet. How rude.

Yuuri’s head turned around slowly.
“Could you at least pretend I’m not right in front of you…” Yuuri tiredly sighed, releasing a deep breath. His face was pale, a weeks worth of tiredness present in the heavy bags under his eyes.

“So it is you? You admit it then?” Urgh. Yuuri just wanted to hit her.
“It literally says my name at the bottom of the caption.” Yuuri turned his attention back to the lecture, deciding to ignore her unwanted pesters. Yuuri was tired of all this. “At least talk about me when I’m not here.” He quietly requested with a sigh. Yuuri wasn’t even sure what was making him so tired anymore; so many things were whirling in his head like there was a huge weight on his shoulders.

“Victor could do so much better.” She sneered from behind and Yuuri just sighed again. It was clear to Yuuri that she was just full of bitter jealousy. Knowing this kind of… sparked a flame in Yuuri. Because only he could touch Victor, and see him in his most beautiful form.

“I know. You’ve already expressed how much you dislike me.” Yuuri gritted his teeth, clutching his pen that little bit harder. Yuuri found himself growing a little more thick skinned, yet also more self conscious. He could take the insults, just about, but… is that what people really thought of him? Most of these people didn’t even know him. In fact, they probably didn’t even realise he existed until recently. The hard shell Yuuri put up to protect himself was slowly crumbling, like a shield that had taken too many hits.

It had been months since Yuuri’s last real anxiety attack, but maybe it was all coming back to haunt him. However… this felt different. He felt faint, a dizzying blackness clouding the backs of his eyes. One hand cradled his head as it began to spin. Yuuri could feel his breathing becoming laboured, like… like his lungs were full of cotton. His hands began to get cold, his fingers beginning to tremble as veins began to surface faintly at his hands. Yuuri dropped his head on the table, trying to clear his mind but so much was going on and…
——————————————————
Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open, his vision blurry and white. Coming to his senses, Yuuri blinked a few times, trying to focus his eyes. He groaned, looking up at the white ceiling.
“Yuuri!” Phichit immediately stood from the chair and raced over to the bed.

“Peach… what happened?” Yuuri asked with a gentle grumble. He forced himself to sit up, heaving himself up with his hands. He leaned up against the headboard of the hospital bed, shuffling to get comfortable.
“You fainted in class.” He sighed. “Are you alright? I need to phone Victor!” Phichit pulled his phone out.
“I’m fine Peach.” Yuuri smiled.

“Yuuri!” Victor’s voice called from the other end of the line as Phichit passed him the phone.
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” Yuuri sighed sadly, one hand holding over his chest.
“You had me completely frightened, but what matters is you’re okay.” Victor replied, his soft voice soothing Yuuri’s nerves. “The doctor said you fainted due to stress?” Victor asked.

“Err… I suppose? The doctor hasn’t arrived yet so I haven’t had a chance to speak to him since I woke up.” Yuuri looked over to Phichit before the curtain of the room shuffled. The doctor pulled the curtain back and stepped in before pulling the curtain closed. “Oh, he’s here now. I’ll phone you back after?” Yuuri asked, watching as the doctor stepped in.
“Sure thing. Kisses, love you lots.”
“Mwah. Love you lots too, kisses.” Yuuri smiled tenderly.
“Mwah.” Yuuri cut the call and handed Phichit his phone back.

“Sorry, my boyfriend.” Yuuri apologised as the doctor stepped forwards, picking up the clipboard from the end of the bed.
“It’s alright. Katsuki Yuuri, is it?” Yuuri nodded. “Nice to meet you, I’m Doctor Ishida.” He held out his hand and Yuuri’s delicate hand took it, shaking gently. “My first thought is stress. Chulanont-san tells me that you’ve been having a bit of a rough time?” The doctor asked, clicking his pen as he scribbled on his clip board.

“Yeah it’s been pretty difficult but… I suppose I should have expected it.” Yuuri scoffed with a huff and a sigh.
“I’d like to take a sample of your blood, if that’s okay? Just to check that everything is okay.” The doctor slipped the clip board back into the pocket at the foot of the bed.
——————————————————
“Hey babe, what did the doctor say?” Victor asked tenderly.
“Hey. Just sent blood samples off to see if I’m okay. I’ll probably phone again when I get the results back.” Yuuri chuckled lovingly. “How’s my superstar figure skater?” Yuuri asked back.

Victor’s heart raced and he let out some kind of cute screech down the phone.
“Yuuri! Aww you think I’m a superstar?” Victor grinned, and Yuuri could practically hear that beautiful heart shaped smile. Yuuri could feel himself grow a little bit embarrassed, just a little bit at calling him his superstar. But then again, it was true. Oh god, Victor’s habit of dorky nicknames was rubbing off on Yuuri.

“Only my superstar. So, how are you?” Yuuri repeated. Victor thought his heart was going to explode.
“I’ve got most of my choreography down for next season, just need to practice jumps and put it all together, stuff like that!” Victor cheerfully said.
“I can’t wait to see.” Yuuri tenderly replied, his voice as always, full of affection.
“Dedicated to my one and only.” Victor giggled.
“You dork.” Yuuri laughed softly. “Anyway, I need a nap, so… I’ll let you go?”

“Sure thing. Sleep well my love, kisses!”
“Kisses, mwah.” Yuuri chuckled with a soft blush.
“Mwah.” Yuuri cut the call and laid back down on the bed.

“You can go back home if you want, Peach. You don’t have to stay.” Yuuri said tenderly as Phichit looked over from the seat.
“I’ll go out and bring you some food for when you wake up. The shit here is nasty!” He chuckled as he stood up.
“Thanks.”

“Course. Now take a nap, I’ll be back in a bit.” Phichit waved and left behind the curtain as Yuuri closed his eyes with a sigh.
——————————————————
Yuuri awoke an hour to two faint chattering voices, one was Phichit and the other… the doctor, perhaps?
“Katsuki-san, good timing. Your blood tests came back.” The doctor said as Yuuri pushed himself to sit up, grabbing his glasses. He pulled his knees up to his chest and adjusted the blankets.

“So aside from your stress, there’s quite a low level of iron in your blood. Anaemia. I’d like to keep you for the night just to monitor your iron levels, then I’ll prescribe you some iron tablets.” The doctor said, scribbling down some notes on the clip board before slipping the clip board back into its pocket. “Any questions?” Yuuri shook his head and the doctor nodded. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

“I bought you some food. I got you some Katsudon, also got some onigiri and a bottle of lemon tea!” Phichit held up a plastic carrier back full to the brim. He stood from the chair and set the bag on the pull out table, pushing it a bit closer to Yuuri.
“Thanks, Peach.”
“No problem. You eat up, phone Victor, and I’ll go home. I’ll be back in the morning. I also phoned work to tell them you won’t be in.” Phichit said as he stood up, grabbing his things.
“Text me when you get home.” Yuuri smiled, pulling Phichit into a hug.
“Course I will!”
——————————————————
“Is everything okay?” Victor’s tender voice asked as he sat on the sofa, makkachin’s head rested in his lap. His fingers carded through her soft coffee curls as she quietly whined for attention.
“Yeah... I have anaemia though. I’m staying in hospital another night and then I have to take iron tablets.” Yuuri sighed.

“My poor baby…” Victor sighed softly. “Remember to take naps and eat more, Yuuri. Please. And take it easy as well.” Victor pleaded.
“I will, don’t worry about me.” Yuuri chuckled softly.
“It’s difficult not to worry about you when you’re half way across the world fainting and I can’t be there.” Victor pouted softly. Yuuri could practically hear Victor’s pouting and whining through the phone and he laughed softly.

“I’ll be okay, Victor, I promise.” Yuuri said softly. “I hate it here, but I suppose at least I’m not in class.” Yuuri frowned, his brows knitting together.
“Have people been talking about you again?” Victor sounded worried, like he just wanted to protect Yuuri from everything.
“Yeah… they talk about me like I’m not even there. Literally I’m right next to them and they’ll still voice their opinions loud and clear.” Yuuri frowned softly.

“I’m so sorry baby… I wish I could be there to hold you.” Victor huffed with a gentle pout as his brows furrowed in the middle.
“What’re you sorry for?” Yuuri snorted softly.
“I just feel like it’s my fault and I should be there for you.” Victor sighed once more, one hand running fingers through his hair.

“Just hearing your voice is enough.” Yuuri smiled before cracking a quiet yawn. “I’m so tired… this hospital just makes everything so… dull and boring… I hate it.” Yuuri complained, his hands gripping the blankets tightly. “It’s lonely.” He quietly added as he shuffled down the bed and further into the scratchy hospital blanket.
Victor frowned from the other end of the line, but his expression sooner relaxed.

“You should get to bed babe. Time will pass faster when you sleep.” Victor laughed lightly. “You’ll be our before you know it.” Yuuri sighed softly.
“Good night Victor, love you. Kisses” Yuuri smiled.
“Night Yuuri, love you too. Kisses!”
“Kisses, mwah.”
“Mwah.” Yuuri cut the call and released a deep breath, placing his phone on the bedside table. He shuffled down the bed a little bit further, burying his face into the plasticky bed sheets.

Yuuri struggled to get to sleep as his head pounded, his thoughts spinning. He grumbled and groaned to himself, tossing and turning. Yuuri released an agitated groan as he clutched at the blankets. After a frustrating hour, he sat up and grabbed his phone.

To: Victor <3
Are you still awake? <3
YK

Yuuri sighed, locking his phone as he set it back down, eagerly awaiting a reply.

Chapter Text

Yuuri’s phone buzzed to life.

“Can’t sleep?” Victor’s voice was soft and silky, like music to Yuuri’s delicate ears. Yuuri released a quiet sigh, clutching his phone tightly. The hospital was dark and so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

“No… I’m so tired but I just can’t sleep and I don’t know if it’s because I miss being home or I miss you or it’s just… being in hospital.” He voiced his worries with a soft whine, the pain in his head unwilling to fade. “My head is pounding as well…” Yuuri grumbled, one hand clutching his head.

“Oh darling… is there anything I can do to help you?” Victor asked, his heart bleeding for Yuuri. Victor was concerned for Yuuri; not because he was in hospital, but because when he was out of hospital he was just always tired and seemed miserable.

“Not really… I just wanted to hear your voice.” Yuuri quietly responded, his free hand fiddling with the top of the blanket as he sighed to himself. “I’ve just been so horrible and crabby lately I don’t know what’s up.” He sighed again, almost scoffing. Victor chuckled.

“You’re just stressed, my love. You have a lot going on after all. Have you been taking your medication?” Victor asked. Yuuri nodded before realising that Victor couldn’t see that.
“Yeah I have, don’t worry about that.” He smiled wearily before releasing a quiet yawn. “No matter how tired I am I just can’t fall asleep…” Yuuri squeaked, the exhaustion overwhelmingly present in his voice.

“Do you want to try and sleep again? If you still can’t fall asleep you can always phone again?” Victor suggested, his soft voice already sending Yuuri to sleep.
“Are you sure that’s alright? I don’t want to bother you anymore…”

“It’s always alright, beautiful. Now, get some sleep. Love you lots, kisses.”
“Night again… love you too. Kisses.”
“Mwah.”
“Mwah.” Yuuri cut the call once more and set his phone back on the bedside table. He curled under the blankets, gripping them hard as he forced his tense body to relax, willed his headache to leave him alone, and he let himself be consumed by sleep.
——————————————————
In the days leading up to his exams, Yuuri had been… exhausted to say the least. But so much had happened in the short few weeks that it seemed like his life was just racing ahead of him.

Yuuri focussed wholeheartedly on finishing his dissertation.
“Just four hundred words to go…” he said to himself as he gritted his teeth, fingers tapping away vigorously at the keys of his keyboard. His eyes simultaneously scanned an array of resources to help him form a conclusion.
Three days of hardcore, determined and rigorous typing, Yuuri was finally done. His final piece for university was finally submitted. Yuuri cried down the phone to Victor that night, just so happy that that was finally out of the way.

Time ticked and ticked as Yuuri crammed those final pieces of information into his head, forcing every last bit of information into his head. So much of his head space had previously been overtaken by negative self views because of his situation at school, but Yuuri willed himself to forget about everyone and everything, focussing solely on revision. He stood on top of his bed, whiteboard marker in one hand, rubber in another as he scribbled mind map after mind map on the whiteboard above his bed.

The atmosphere over the last few weeks had been so tense it could be cut with a pair of scissors. Yuuri had been so concentrated and buried in his revision that he’d almost forgotten about Victor, and god forbid history to repeat itself. Yuuri made sure to phone Victor at least once a day, even just to say “I’m alive and I haven’t forgotten about you and I love you”, just so Victor knew he was still on his mind.

Yuuri could see the light at the end of the tunnel. He took a deep breath as he sat down at his desk, staring down at the paper. The last paper he ever had to sit. Three hours long. In three hours time it would all be over. With a shaky hand, Yuuri picked up his pen and opened the first page. He stared at the questions intensely, finding himself unable to process the question. Yuuri’s breath began to pick up, his hands beginning to sweat. This would be the worst time to have a panic attack. Quickly dropping his pen on the table, he held his head in his hands for just a moment to clear his mind. He took slow breaths, attempting to slow his throbbing heart and calm his laboured breathing.

After a little while Yuuri managed to pull himself together and read the first question. Yes. He could do this.

Three hours passed like the click of a finger and Yuuri was finally done. All those weeks and months of hard work finally paid off.
——————————————————
The next thing on Yuuri’s mind was his audition tape.

Yuuri first released three months worth of stress in the studio, dancing away before Minako interrupted him.
“Yuuri!” Minako called and Yuuri stopped immediately, stopping the music before heading over to Minako.
“Yeah?”

“Sorry to interrupt you, but I finally had a look through your tape.” Minako started, and Yuuri waited patiently for more. “It’s technically perfect. Your transition between different technical elements is seamless, and it’s obvious that you know what you’re doing. One thing I will say is that sometimes, you lack expression. But that’s not because how or what you’re dancing, it’s more because you tend to be absorbed in your own thoughts when you dance.” Minako commented and Yuuri stared at her. “I think you can send it.” Yuuri’s face lit up.

Yuuri and Minako sat down on the bench at the side of the studio and she pulled up her laptop.
“Ready to send?” Yuuri took a deep breath and nodded, full of sheer determination.
“Yeah.” Minako hit send and Yuuri watched like a hawk, holding his breath as the email sent. His fingers were trembling and his leg was bouncing up and down as the time passed, feeling like hours. When it was done, he released a breath of relief.

“It’s about time you realised your worth.” Minako ruffled his hair. There they were – Yuuri’s first steps to a successful dance career. For once, he felt proud of himself and he couldn’t wait to tell Victor.
“Thank you so much.” Yuuri could feel the hottest years beginning to fall from his eyes down his delicate cheeks as he grinned.
“I just taught you how to dance. Victor taught you how to feel through dance.” Minako wisely added.
——————————————————
“I sent it, Victor.” Yuuri gleefully smiled.
“Sent w—“ Victor’s face went from confusion, to understanding, to absolute pride in a matter of three seconds.

“Yuuri! I’m so proud of you, beautiful!” Victor exclaimed excitedly as he watched Yuuri’s cheeks turn pink. “You’ll let me know as soon as possible if you get in, won’t you? I’d ask Lilia and pester her to tell me but she just wouldn’t.” Victor chuckled, the overwhelming feeling of happiness still evident on his heart shaped grin. Yuuri smiled back.

“I’ll let you know, of course I will. I’m just glad I finally had the courage to do it. I’m so thankful for you.” Yuuri smiled tenderly, staring back into Victor’s electric blue irises, his heart overflowing with love, love, and more love for the Russian skater.

“Me? Shouldn’t you be thanking Minako?” Victor queried.
“I did, but she said that she only taught me how to dance, but you taught me how to feel.” He cleared up, and Victor had a look of shock and confusion on his face as he raised an eyebrow.
“I… did?” Yuuri nodded and Victor’s face visibly relaxed.

“You’re my pride and joy, Yuuri Katsuki. I can’t wait to have you in my arms in a week and a half’s time. It’s been the longest two months and I’m so touch deprived.” Victor chuckled lightly. “I’ve missed you so so much you honestly have no idea.” Victor sighed, sad that it had been so long, but content in knowing that soon he would have Yuuri.

Yuuri giggled. “I can’t wait to see my beautiful Victor either.” He tenderly smiled.
——————————————————
Two weeks past heart wrenchingly slowly, but finally, the eighth of June had arrived.
Yuuri waited patiently at the airport arrivals, his hands cold and trembling as his leg bounced up and down. His fingers fiddled with the hem of his jumper as he kept an eye out for Victor’s signature platinum hair. Then, he saw it. Those silver locks perfectly falling over one eye. He stood up with a small bouquet of ten roses.
“Victor!”

That beautiful head of hair whipped around and stared straight at him.
“Yuuri!” Victor abandoned his luggage a few feet away in favour of running to Yuuri. Victor’s legs carried him as far as they could and Yuuri practically launched himself into his arms. Victor’s arms immediately lifted Yuuri up and as if by reflex, Yuuri’s legs wrapped around Victor’s toned waist. Victor pressed a deep, passionate kiss to Yuuri’s plush lips. Yuuri closed his eyes, his fingers delicately holding Victor’s neck. Short of breath, they broke apart.

“I missed you, beautiful.” To finally see Victor’s smile, to hear his soft voice and to hold him after so long bought a tear to Yuuri’s eye. Seeing those beautiful rounds of teal, that soft head of silver, holding those large and calloused hands… Yuuri bursted into tears.

“God you have no idea how much I missed you…” Yuuri squeaked, tears beginning to fall down his cheeks. Yuuri buried his face in Victor’s chest as he let him down back on the floor. He clutched onto Victor’s coat hard, afraid to let go.

Chapter Text

Victor and Yuuri shared a few more quick, delicate kisses before Yuuri tugged him into a deeper kiss.
“I can’t believe you’re really here…” he smiled through sobs as he buried his face in Victor’s chest, holding him close, not an inch between them. Victor’s hand ran softly up and down Yuuri’s clothed back, gently leaning to kiss his jaw.

“Congratulations on finishing university, Yuuri.” Victor said quietly into his ear as Yuuri sobbed into his shoulder. Yuuri pressed his face into the crook of his neck as he stood on his tiptoes. Time seemed to fly by as they embraced each other for what felt to them like hours. Victor pulled away.

“Oh, these are for you.” Yuuri shyly held out the small bundle of roses. “Sorry they aren’t as elegant as the ones you’ve gifted me...” Yuuri said sadly as he stared at the floor. Victor’s face lit up as he took the bouquet of roses, pressing a kiss to Yuuri’s nose.
“They’re beautiful, Yuuri. Thank you, I love them.” They stared at each other for a few short moments before Victor leaned in to quickly capture his lips again.

“Let’s go.” Yuuri smiled as he released Victor to allow him to reclaim his abandoned luggage. “Phichit has gone home so we have the apartment to ourselves for two weeks.” Yuuri added, holding out his hand for Victor to take. Victor took his hand, lacing their fingers together as he held his luggage in the other hand.
——————————————————
The taxi journey was silent. Victor and Yuuri sat with their hands linked, Victor running his thumb over Yuuri’s knuckle as Yuuri squeezed his hand. They stole longing glances at each other as the flew through the city centre, watching the night move.

In quick time they pulled up outside Yuuri’s apartment and made their way up. Victor moved his suitcase into Yuuri’s room and collapsed on the sofa, tugging Yuuri down with him. He laid down, pulling Yuuri under his arm. Yuuri was quick to bring his arm around Victor’s waist, turning to snuggle up into his neck.

Victor hooked two fingers under Yuuri’s chin, gently pulling his face up to meet his own. Smiling, Victor leaned down, capturing those plump pink lips between his own. Yuuri turned on top of Victor, wrapping his arms around his neck as they kissed slowly.
“Mmngh…” Yuuri moaned softly into the kiss as his lips parted in an attempt to suck in a breath as his pants became just a little too tight. Victor’s hands ran down Yuuri’s back, cupping his ass as he slipped his tongue between the pillow soft lips to suck Yuuri’s tongue.

“V-Victor…” Yuuri panted as they pulled apart, a thin chain of saliva still joining them as it snapped. Yuuri was heavy with lust and he could feel Victor’s growing hardness grinding into his thigh. “V-Victor…” Yuuri whimpered again as he caught his breath, laying his head on Victor’s chest.

“Yes, my love?” Victor smirked a little bit, kissing the top of Yuuri’s head as his heels flushed pink. Yuuri began to shift his hips slightly, his thighs locked with Victor’s own.

“D-do you want me t-to… ya know… suckyouoff?” He squeaked, his cheeks turning bright red as he whispered the last bit, almost inaudible as he squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face in embarrassment. Victor teasingly smirked.
“To what, Yuuri?” He asked, his voice deep and sultry as he carded his fingers through Yuuri’s soft locks of hair. Yuuri cleated his throat,
“To s-suck you off…” Yuuri squeaked slightly louder this time. Victor immediately stood up and tugged Yuuri up as well, Yuuri’s legs wrapping around his hips.

“You’re so adorable, how could I ever say no?” He asked as he pushed Yuuri’s bedroom door open with his back, slamming it shut. Yuuri groaned into the crook of Victor’s neck as he felt his back hit the bed, Victor’s lean form leaning over him. Victor straddled his hips, yanking his t-shirt over his head as Yuuri stared in awe at Victor’s beautifully toned chest. “See something you like, baby?” He teasingly asked as he felt Yuuri’s hardness grow under him.

Yuuri moaned as he stared longingly at Victor’s muscles. Bravely, he reached his shaking hand out to palm Victor’s half hardened mast. Victor inhaled sharply as he bit back a groan. Yuuri sat up and quickly pushed Victor back and began fumbling with the button on his trousers. Victor leaned up and tugged Yuuri’s shirt off as Yuuri wiggled out of his trousers.

Yuuri stared. God, he’d forgotten how big Victor was. How he’d felt inside him. Yuuri groped him through his boxers, squeezing as he watched Victor squirm. Slowly, he leaned down and planted a kiss to the clothed length before sucking gently, soaking the thin fabric.
“Y-Yuuri…” Victor threw a hand into Yuuri’s hair as one hand gripped the pillow his head was laying on. Yuuri coaxed the soaked fabric off Victor’s hips to reveal his long, thick member, perfectly pink at the tip, a prominent vein underneath.

Shyly, Yuuri lowered his head and kissed the crown, his hot breath clouding the tip as he took it between his lips, his tongue flicking soft kitten licks on the head. Victor groaned as Yuuri looked up at him with beaming eyes. Yuuri sunk down to the base, almost choking as the tip hit the back of his throat, his nose buried in the pale grey pubic hairs.
“Y-Yuuri…” Victor placed his second hand on Yuuri’s cheek, feeling his length. Yuuri could feel it grow thicker in his throat and mouth as he groaned. “M-may I…?” He gently thrusted his hips to silently ask and Yuuri groaned his consent.

Victor began to slowly move his hips in and out of Yuuri’s warm cavity, gently cradling the name of his neck. He could feel his throat clenching and squeezing down on his member as Yuuri moaned in an attempt to hold back from gagging. Then, Yuuri looked up at him. Beautiful hazel eyes glossy with lust, tears forming and falling down his pretty cheeks. That did it. Victor gripped his hair and pushed down Yuuri’s throat as far as he could go before bursting down his throat. He shouted, “Yuuri!” as he gritted his teeth and shivered through his orgasm. He felt Yuuri swallow around him, groaning as salty fluid trickled down his throat. Yuuri pulled off.

Victor, quick to pounce back, pushed Yuuri back onto the bed. Yuuri released a surprised shriek before relaxing into the sheets as Victor wrapped his hand around his erection. Yuuri whimpered at the cold touch of his hand, grabbing a pillow to bite into.
Victor began working his thumb into the head of Yuuri’s cock, pushing lightly into the slit.
“Ahhhhhh… V-Victor…” Yuuri panted heavily, squirming under Victor’s red hot touch. Victor continued to move his hand up and down, his finger nail tracing the vein that followed he underside of his member.

“It’s beautiful, Yuuri. So pink and pretty for me.” Yuuri shivered, whining as his back arched under Victor’s touch, his words ringing in his ears. “So sensitive and responsive, you’re beautiful, Yuuri. God, I love you.” With one last hard squeeze, Yuuri’s back arched upwards into a beautiful curve and he screamed Victor’s name, white fluid spurting up his chest and coating Victor’s hand.

Victor brought his hand up to lick his hand, staring straight into Yuuri’s eyes. Yuuri groaned at the sight.
“Y-you didn’t have to…” Yuuri squeaked as he watched that tongue curl around Victor’s fingers

“God, you’re beautiful.” Victor huffed and Yuuri smiled shyly. “You look hot after you come.” Victor added before lying down next to him, tugging his chin up.
“Come ‘ere, you.” Victor crashed his lips with Yuuri’s, pulling him on top as the tasted themselves between eachother’s lips. One hand cradled Yuuri’s ass as the other came around his waist.

“That was amazing, beautiful.” Victor breathily smiled. Yuuri sleepily buried his face in his shoulder and began to move his hips against Victor’s thigh, his arms wrapping around his neck.
“Do you wanna—“ Victor started before noticing that Yuuri was out like a light, already fast asleep on his shoulder. Chuckling to himself, Victor pulled the blankets up.

“Good night, beautiful. I love you.” Victor kissed his head before turning onto his side, holding Yuuri by the waist.
——————————————————
The next morning Yuuri was greeted with kisses to his forehead and cheeks. He grumbled, one eye opening as Victor’s beautiful face came into focus.
“Morning…” Yuuri groaned before closing his eyes again and leaning into Victor’s kisses.

“I’ve always wanted to kiss you awake.” Victor smiled, carding his fingers through Yuuri’s hair. Yuuri smiled giddily as his cheeks pinked slightly before he wrapped both arms around Victor’s toned waist. He threw one leg over Victor’s hip, really holding him close. They’d been so touch starved recently without each other, Yuuri took every opportunity to cling to him.

“You huge dork.” He sniggered, planting a soft kiss to Victor’s chest. “I love you.” He added, moving his hand up to the nape of Victor’s neck to play with the soft locks of platinum laying at the base of his neck. “I’ve missed you so god damned much…” he sighed contently, squeezing his eyes shut as he pressed his bare chest against Victor’s, semen now crusted dry on his skin.

“I love you too, darling. You’ve been all I’ve thought about.” Victor pressed soft kisses to the top of Yuuri’s head, nuzzling his nose into the crown of his hair. “I’ve waited so long to hold you like this it hurts.” Victor sighed sadly as he noticed Yuuri’s breath hitch. Yuuri knew all too well how bare everything felt without Victor.

Yuuri braved and asked the question that tugged his heartstrings. “How long are you staying for?” Yuuri asked quietly. Normally whatever answer Victor gave Yuuri would be happy, but this time he hoped Victor would be able to stay long enough to see him graduate.

“I can’t stay too long this time, because it’s the beginning of the off season, so I can only stay for three weeks.” Victor sighed again as he shuffled to pull Yuuri closer.
“Oh…” Yuuri squeaked. He decided not to mention his graduation lest he burden Victor to completely change his airfares or something like that.

Yuuri and Victor stayed wrapped up in each other for a few silent moments before Yuuri’s stomach grumbled. Yuuri squeaked as he blushed pink, groaning into Victor’s chest.
“We can shower and get something to eat, if you want.” Victor chuckled. Yuuri nodded courtly, but still clung to Victor.
“You have to let go of me if we wanna shower baby.” Victor laughed as Yuuri grumbled in disappointment, untangling himself from Victor’s warmth. Yuuri sat up and rubbed his eyes as Victor leaned on one elbow. “You look beautiful today.” Victor chuckled.

Yuuri smiled softly and kissed his cheek.
“And you look handsome today.” He replied, running his fingers through Victor’s silver locks of hair.

“Let’s go out for dinner today. Something fancy, something expensive and extravagant.” Victor suggested.
“Eh?” Yuuri stared at Victor.
“For finishing uni. You deserve the best.” Victor sat up next to Yuuri and kissed his head, gently ruffling his hair.
Yuuri chuckled, kissing him back. “If you insist.”

Chapter Text

The water pattered down their backs. Yuuri closed his eyes as his arms tangled around Victor’s back. Victor’s fingers drew soft patterns on the small of Yuuri’s back as he held his hips, pulling him in close.
“I can see the cogs turning in your head. A penny for your thoughts?” Victor asked as Yuuri released a soft sigh. Yuuri grumbled something quiet and inaudible.
“Huh?”
“Tell me you love me.” Yuuri mumbled, a soft blush coating his cheeks. Victor chuckled, moving one hand up to cradle Yuuri’s head. He pressed his lips to Yuuri’s hair whorl with a smile.

“I love you. I love you with all my heart. I love you to the stars and back.” Yuuri’s cheeks were turning a furious shade of berry red, his heart pounding wildly against Victor’s chest. Victor could feel Yuuri’s heart beat against his. He continued. “I love you with my whole being. I love everything about you. I love—“ Yuuri cut him off with a kiss.

“Okay okay I get it!” He squeaked, embarrassed. “I love you too. More than I could ever express...” Yuuri tugged him in for another soft kiss, planting his soft hands in Victor’s wet hair. Yuuri pulled away, his cheeks still pink from embarrassment.

“What were you thinking about?” Victor asked. Yuuri stayed quiet for a few moments.
“I… just that… Never mind.” Yuuri sighed. “It’s just me being stupid. I suppose my anxiety is back to kick me in the gut again.” He furrowed his brow with another sigh as he pressed his face into Victor’s chest.

“If it’s making your brow crease and making you hold on to me for dear life it’s not stupid, my love. Your feelings are perfectly valid. But it’s okay if you don’t want to tell me.” Victor reassured with a smile, kissing his head again as his fingers continued to draw soft patterns into Yuuri’s wet skin.

“Thank you… Sorry I’m like this.” Yuuri mumbled quietly.
“There’s nothing wrong with how you are. If you didn’t have your insecurities, your emotions, and everything else that makes you you, you wouldn’t be the Yuuri I fell in love with, would you?” Victor said. “Just imagine yourself without emotions, without sentiment and feelings.” Yuuri snorted.

“Sometimes I do and I think maybe I wouldn’t be this anxious, depressed mess.” Yuuri sighed.
“But you also wouldn’t be the living, caring, beautiful, amazing man I fell in love with either.” Victor reminded.
“I suppose not.” Yuuri chuckled, leaning to press a kiss to Victor’s lips.

“Was something making you anxious?” Victor asked. Yuuri stayed quiet for a little while before responding.
“Yeah… I… I’ll tell you when I’ve sorted myself out.” Yuuri released a deep exhale.
“Take your time, there’s no rush.” Victor said quietly.

They stayed under the burning beads of water for a little while longer until Yuuri’s stomach growled again.
“I take it that’s our cue to get out and get lunch.” Victor chuckled, reaching to turn the water off. “What do you want for lunch? My treat.” Victor said.

“It’s always your treat…” Yuuri mumbled.
“I just love to spoil you rotten.” Yuuri furrowed his brow at that, his arms tightening around Victor. “Yuuri?” Yuuri looked up and shook his head.
“It’s nothing.” Yuuri sighed.
“Just remember you can tell me anything.” Victor reminded. “Now, what do you want for lunch?” Victor asked once more before Yuuri could eat himself from the inside out any more.

“There’s a crepe house not far from here? Phichit says it’s nice and we haven’t been yet, so maybe we can try it out?” Yuuri suggested, untangling himself from Victor and stepping out of the shower. He wrapped a towel around himself to dry off.

“Sounds like a plan.”
——————————————————
“Can we share one?” Yuuri asked. “I’m hungry but I just don’t really feel like eating.” Victor squeezed his hand as they walked to the small café.
“Let’s take a detour.” Yuuri looked at him and Victor led him to a quiet park.

They sat down on a bench.
“Something is bothering you. Really bothering you, but I can’t help you if you don’t tell me, Yuuri.” Victor pulled Yuuri into his shoulder, wrapping his arms around him. Yuuri’s hands gripped the front of Victor’s shirt, squeezing the fabric as he buried his face in his shoulder.

“What if you find someone better than me?” Yuuri’s voice was shaking, as if he were on the brink of tears. “If you find someone smarter than me, better looking than me, more talented than me?” Yuuri could feel tears slipping down his cheeks, staining them. Ahh, Victor finally understood. “I don’t want you to feel like you’ve wasted three months of your life with me when you could have had someone better.” Yuuri squeaked.

“So what if I meet someone smarter, or better looking, or more talented than you?” Victor asked. “No matter who that is, if they’re more popular, or richer, or whatever that silly head of yours is telling you, they will never be you. They will never be the man I fell in love with.” Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hand tightly.

“I hate to brag, but I could have anyone in the world. Anybody. But I don’t want anybody. I only want you. And it will always be you.” Victor reassured him, running his thumb across the knuckles of Yuuri’s hand.

“But what if one day you find someone you love more than me? Someone else you want to spoil rotten?” Yuuri asked. Victor knew exactly what he was implying, but from Yuuri’s perspective, it was understandable. He’d been cheated on before by just a regular person. It’s no wonder he’s worried about dating the world’s most decorated bachelor who could have anyone he wanted.

“There will only ever be one person I love more than you, Yuuri, and that would be if we had a child. You will always be first.” Victor said firmly, kissing his head.
“But how can you be so sure?” Yuuri pleaded.

“Because what draws me to you is something no one else anywhere has. Nobody. Nobody will ever have what draws me to you.” Victor replied softly as he brought Yuuri’s hand up to kiss his knuckles.
“What’s that?” Yuuri dared to ask.

“Your personality. You’re sweet, you’re caring, you always put others first. Not only that, you’re so, so talented. No one dances like you do. Never in my career as a skater have I ever met anyone as expressive, as thoughtful as you. Everything you do makes me fall in love with you all over again.” By now Yuuri was sobbing, hot, wet tears soaking Victor’s shirt. “Is that what’s been bothering you, Yuuri? The idea of me finding someone else?” Yuuri nodded.

“You know, in my twenty seven years of living I’ve never met anybody who I wanted to hold onto. I’ve never had a lover before you, I’ve never had any dates before you. So the chances of me finding anyone after you are also just as slim.” Victor chuckled, kissing his head.

“I just wish I could be better for you.” Yuuri whimpered, his voice frail and delicate.
“You don’t need to be better for me, Yuuri. You’re way more than I deserve already. All you need to do is see for yourself how much you’re worth.” Victor reassured him. Yuuri stayed quiet, nuzzling into the crook of Victor’s neck.

“It still hurts me, why I wasn’t good enough. Was I really worth so little?” Yuuri asked. Victor could feel his anger grow at how Yuuri had been treated, but he kept it together.
“He simply couldn’t see your worth. And it’s a shame because thanks to him, you struggle to see your own worth as well.” Victor sighed. “All I can do is hope that I can make you feel as loved as you deserve to feel and more. And hope that one day you’ll be able to see how much you really are worth.” Victor added.

“What did I do to deserve you…” Yuuri asked with a deep breath and a teary smile.
“Probably a lot of really bad things in your past life.” Victor joked and Yuuri laughed. “Feel better yet?” Victor asked and Yuuri nodded. “Do you still feel anxious?” Yuuri shook his head. “Feel hungry?” Yuuri nodded again. “Then I’ve done a good job.” Victor smiled.

Yuuri tugged Victor down for a kiss.
“You always make everything so much better.” He smiled, gently brushing his nose against Victor’s.
“Let’s go back for some crepes then.” Victor stood up, holding his hand out for Yuuri, who gratefully took it with a smile.

They walked quietly back to the café.
“Yuuri?”
“Hmm?” Yuuri acknowledged.
“You look beautiful with a smile.”

Chapter Text

Yuuri blushed, his face turning pink at the cheeks as Victor chuckled.
“Thank you…” he mumbled quietly as they stepped into the café. As they waited to be seated, Victor pressed a sneaky kiss to Yuuri’s temple, holding his head in one hand. Yuuri turned to face him with a smile.
“Table for two please.” Victor held up two fingers and flashed that camera worthy smile. The waitress led them to their table.

“Excuse me if I’m wrong but are you… Victor Nikiforov?” She asked and Yuuri seemingly froze, his mind wondering. This waitress… she was pretty, seemed cheerful and confident. It seemed to Yuuri that her personality would be much more compatible with Victor’s than his was. Yuuri began to twiddle his thumbs, his eyebrows knitting together in the middle as he stared at the menu.

“Oh! How long are you in Japan for?” She asked, her voice way too enthusiastic for Yuuri’s liking.
“Just a few weeks, then I’ll be back home.” Victor responded with a charismatic smile.
“Ahh I see. Can I have a selfie with you?” She asked, pulling her phone from her apron.
“Sure thing!” Victor pushed a hand through his hair to tidy it up a bit before leaning into her camera with a wink.

Yuuri continued to frown down at his menu. It was like she hadn’t even noticed he was there. Her and Victor continued to talk for minutes on minutes, her hand moving to rest on his shoulder. Yuuri was beginning to get annoyed, though he wasn’t even sure with who. He was supposed to be in a date with Victor, but he hadn’t said a word to him since they sat down. And then her. It was like he didn’t exist!

Yuuri stood up, his chair scraping across the floor as he stood up to go to the toilet. Victor abruptly stopped their conversation and stared.
“Yuu—“ but Yuuri had already disappeared into the toilet.

Yuuri locked himself in a stall and stood with his back leaning against the door. Jealousy was such an ugly feeling, Yuuri hated it. Yuuri allowed himself to release a deep, shaky sigh as a couple of quiet tears leaked down his cheeks. He shook his head and grabbed a piece of toilet paper to dry his face. Yuuri was wondering if Victor even realised he wasn’t sat at the table anymore. Probably too busy talking to that waitress still.
——————————————————
“Excuse me a minute. We’ll be back in a moment.” Victor stood up and followed Yuuri into the toilets. Quietly, he stepped into the bathrooms, careful not to make a sound. He heard a quiet sigh coming from behind the door of the stall at the very end, followed by what sounded like a small sob.

Hesitantly, he knocked on the stall door.
“Yuuri?” Immediately the sobs ceased. After a few moments, a small voice spoke up.
“Yeah..?” Yuuri replied. So he had noticed he’d gone.
“Are you okay?” Victor asked, concern lacing through his voice. His brow furrowed slightly as he stood by the door.
“Yeah I’m fine.”

Yuuri, from the other side of the door, continued to quietly pat his tears away with a piece of tissue before tossing it in the toilet and flushing it. Reluctantly, he unlocked the door to see Victor stood there. Victor immediately noticed the splotches of discolouration in Yuuri’s cheeks as he sniffled.

“Were you crying?” Victor dared to asked as Yuuri moved to the sink to wash his hands. Yuuri shook his head.
“No, it’s nothing, don’t worry.” Yuuri smiled wearily. Victor stepped closer towards Yuuri and wrapped both hands around his waist. Nuzzling his nose against Yuuri’s he kissed his lips gently as Yuuri wrapped his arms around his neck.

“It’s alright to be jealous, you know. If anything, it’s even more endearing.” Victor reassured and Yuuri frowned.
“Sorry…” Yuuri mumbled, pressing his face into Victor’s shoulder. “I hated the way she touched you.” Yuuri gritted his teeth as he continued to cuddle up to Victor.
“I’m sorry as well. I should have paid more attention to you.” Victor kissed the crown of Yuuri’s head, tangling his fingers into the locks. Yuuri chuckled.

“It looks like we’re both still learning.” Yuuri sighed softly.
“Yeah, we are.” Victor agreed, pulling away from Yuuri. “Now, crepes?” Yuuri nodded.
“Sorry, that’s twice today I’ve interrupted our crepe date.” Yuuri sighed again with a soft smile.
“Don’t be silly.”

Victor and Yuuri re-emerged from the bathrooms and sat back at their table.
“Victor?”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
———————————————————
“Yuuri? Ahh~!” Victor held a piece of his crepe on his fork, smothered in chocolate and marshmallow fluff. Yuuri chuckled and opened his mouth, allowing Victor to skip the piece between his lips.
“Good?”
“Good.” Yuuri said, slightly muffled as he covered his mouth with his hand.

“How’s training treated you?” Yuuri asked as he scooped another piece of crepe between his lips. Victor sighed quietly.
“Just a little bit slow. A lot of the choreography is out of the way no, so hopefully training should pick up the pace a little bit when I get home. How’s dance?” Victor asked back.

“Back breaking, hip snapping, muscle straining pain all around.” Yuuri chuckled. “I’ve been really pushing it lately because during exams I couldn’t train often. I also picked up pole dancing just to change it up a bit!” Yuuri added with a soft laugh as he watched Victor’s face light up.

“Can I watch you pole dance one day?” Victor asked, a little bit more enthusiastically than he had originally intended, but the thought of Yuuri pole dancing made Victor’s heart leap and his nose gush with blood. Victor watched Yuuri’s face turn red with a soft squeak.

“I… if you want…? I’m not very good yet…” Yuuri squeaked his reply, face blushing a bright cherry red as he scratched the back of his neck. Victor chuckled as he leaned his chin on the heel of his palm, watching Yuuri become a bit of a flustered mess.
“You’re too cute, Yuuri.” Victor’s smile was endearing, and it made Yuuri turn just that much more red.

Victor immediately leaned across the table and kissed Yuuri’s red cheek, catching him by surprise. Yuuri heard the camera click and Victor soon pulled away.
“V-Victor!” Victor studied the picture, Yuuri’s face red, beautiful hazel eyes wide open as a head of platinum grey sported a wide smile with lips pressed to his cheek.
“It’s perfect, Yuuri.” He turned his phone I face Yuuri, who blushed deeper.

@v-nikiforov; After the longest two months separated, I’m finally reunited with the love of my life.
He’s struggled so much over the last few months and now I can finally hold him. May the next three weeks be filled with the most beautiful, and amazing person to ever step foot in my life. I love you, @y-katsuki ♡♡♡ #TheLoveOfMyLife

He watched as Yuuri picked up his phone and unlocked it. Victor stared longingly at Yuuri, watching as his eyes scanned across the screen. He watched as Yuuri’s nose began to puff a little and turn red. He watched as tears came to Yuuri’s eyes.

@v-nikiforov You make my life so much brighter. I don’t know how I survived over twenty years without you. I love you so much♡♡♡

Yuuri put his phone down on the table and Victor held out his hand for Yuuri, who took it gracefully, trying to hold back those happy tears.
“You’re the biggest sap, you know that?” Yuuri chuckled, squeezing his hand.
“Only for you, my love.” Victor pulled that beautiful heart shaped grin. Their phones, specifically Victor’s, buzzed and buzzed to life with comment after comment.

@christophe-gc; Better introduce me one day, Nikifolove ;)

@phichit+chu; @y-katsuki @v-nikiforov you both look adorable!!

@nikiforehead; Look at how cute they are together!

@victorsno1fan; Aww! Yuuri is too cute!

They smiled through the comments together, Victor blocking and deleting the… less than pleasant ones.
“They love you, Yuuri. I’m glad.” Victor sighed in relief before turning off his phone and slipping it into his jeans pocket.

“I’m glad too. But even if they didn’t, as long as you still love me then that’s okay too.” Yuuri chuckled with the warmest, most angelic smile Victor had ever seen. God, Yuuri was beautiful. “Shall we go then?”

Chapter Text

“I have to go to work in two hours time, but I only have a half shift to ease back into it, so I finish at seven. Is there anything you want to do after I finish work?” Yuuri asked, licking an ice cream as he held Victor’s other hand.

“Hmm… do you have dance practice tonight?” Victor asked.

“It’s not scheduled, but you can watch me dance, if you want. Though now that I have no more shows to prepare for it’ll just be… me… dancing…” Yuuri chuckled awkwardly as he took a quick glance at Victor to see him with a heartwarming smile on his face. Victor’s eyes seemed to reflect and gleam in the sunlight, deep tones of turquoise filling his irises. Yuuri loved to just stare at Victor. Stare while he was sleeping, while he ate, while he sat on his phone. Everything Victor did warned Yuuri’s heart, and to this day it amazed Yuuri what he’d done to deserve Victor.

Though as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait. And Yuuri had waited the longest, most painful length of time to find someone as amazing as Victor.

“I’d love to watch you dance.” Victor fondly smiled as he began to swing their arms back and forth, gently tracing Yuuri’s knuckles with his thumb. Yuuri gave a shy glance before continuing to nibble on his ice cream. “We should head back now,” Victor said after a moments pause, “So you can have a rest before work.” He continued as Yuuri turned his attention to Victor. Yuuri nodded, and quietly, they headed back to the apartment.
———————————————————
Victor sat on the sofa, his legs up with Yuuri’s head rested on his lap, fast asleep. As Victor scrolled through his phone camera roll, one hand carded through Yuuri’s soft locks as he slept. Yuuri had his face cuddled up against Victor’s stomach, his hands flopped around his own waist with his legs tucked up slightly. Victor chuckled down at the sight. He could feel a numb feeling crawling up his legs like a stabbing of pins and needles, yet he couldn’t bring himself to wake Yuuri from his slumber to move them.

Victor moved one hand down to Yuuri’s, resting on top of his stomach. He gently laced their fingers together, Yuuri subconsciously giving him a brief squeeze before relaxing again. Victor had noticed that even in his sleep, Yuuri had a soft crease between his brows when something was on his mind. With a gentle sigh and a chuckle, Victor put his phone down and used his thumb to smooth the forming crease between his brows. He’d have to ask what was on Yuuri’s mind after he came home.

Victor kept a close eye on the time, and soon enough, the clock read 3:30pm. Gently, Victor shook Yuuri’s shoulder.
“Babe, it’s half three.” Yuuri grumbled, but stayed asleep, curling up just a little bit more. Victor tried again.
“My love, you need to get up for work.” Victor whispered quietly, gently stroking his finger across Yuuri’s cheek. Yuuri shuffled once more and whined, throwing his arm around Victor’s stomach. Victor chuckled.

“Just a few more minutes…” Yuuri mumbled with a soft pout. Victor couldn’t help but laugh softly as he carded his fingers through Yuuri’s fluffy hair.

“No, darling. You have to get ready for work.” Victor chuckled again, gently pinching Yuuri’s cheek, pulling softly as he watched Yuuri pout.

“Noooo…” Yuuri whined as he groggily sat up and shuffled into Victor’s lap and leaned on Victor’s shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Victor’s waist, burying his nose in Victor’s neck as he closed his eyes again. Victor chuckled again, kissing the top of Yuuri’s head.

“Come on, get up.” Victor gently patted Yuuri’s ass with a soft squeeze, smiling as Yuuri squeaked, glaring up at Victor with the most adorable pout. “I’ll walk with you to work and pick you up, and we’ll go for dinner, how about that?” Victor asked as Yuuri finally released a sigh, fully waking up.

“Yes, please… urgh…” Yuuri grumbled as he rubbed his eyes and felt around for his glasses. “Victor have you seen—“ Victor quickly placed a set of thick glasses on Yuuri’s face, smiling down at his adorable face, cheeks nice and chubby and pink.

“Looking for these?” Victor asked, kissing each cheek before kissing the top of Yuuri’s nose.

“The absolute best. My favourite.” Yuuri giggled before standing up in front of Victor. Victor gently grabbed both of Yuuri’s hands, kissing the knuckles of one hand slowly with the sweetest smile.

“Likewise, babe. Now, go get changed and I’ll take you to work.” Victor smiled as he stood up, looping Yuuri in his arms quickly before releasing him. Yuuri nodded and with a stretch and a yawn, he padded off to his room to dig out his work wear. Victor chuckled as he waited for Yuuri, preparing him a bottle of water and something to eat for him while he changed.

Yuuri stepped out of his room, his work clothes on, holding his apron and hat.
“This is for you. There’s some water, a sandwich, and some snacks for you on your break!” Victor said with a beautiful heart shaped grin. Yuuri couldn’t stop smiling as he took the packed lunch.

“Wow, you really are amazing.” He chuckled, taking the lunch bag from Victor’s hands as he pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“You ready to go?” Victor asked as he stood by the door and slipped his shoes on. Yuuri nodded and quickly padded over, slipping his trainers on. “Let’s go.” Victor held the front door open for Yuuri and tugged the door shut behind him before reaching to grab Yuuri’s soft hand.

The walk was silent. Neither Victor nor Yuuri said a word to each other. The silence was comfortable and relaxing – Yuuri could feel Victor’s soft pulse in the palm of his own and it warmed Yuuri’s heart. Soon they arrived.

“I’ll pick you up at seven, we’ll get dinner, and if you’re still up for it, you can treat me to some dancing.” Victor chuckled, squeezing Yuuri’s hands as they stood at the door. Yuuri giggled.

“I’ll let you know if I’ll be late.” Yuuri pressed the softest kiss to Victor’s lips with a smile. “I love you.” Yuuri said tenderly as Victor nudged their noses together gently with a huff and a smile.

“I love you too, babe. I’ll see you later. Mwah.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s lips before smiling.
———————————————————
“May I take your order?” Yuuri asked with a soft smile as the customer in front of him stared down at the menu stuck to the counter top. The customer lifted his head and Yuuri inhaled sharply, visibly taking a step back as he flinched.

Oh no. Yuuri would never fail to recognise those eyes anywhere. He would never ever forget those dark, predatory eyes. The ones that sill haunted his dreams today. The ones that shattered him and left him riddled with insecurities. There was a sour taste in his mouth as he tried not to cry right then and there, his throat closing up as his heart rapidly sped up.

“Yuuri.” Yuuri immediately froze up. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists under the counter as he stared at the floor, anger swelling in his chest. All of a sudden he began finding the magnolia coloured tiles very intriguing. “Can I talk to you?” The deceivingly soft voice asked.

“May I take your order?” Yuuri repeated, almost machine like as he averted his gaze from the floor to the colourful buttons on the machine. Yuuri could feel his legs begin to tremble, his palms beginning sweat as he took a heavy breath, trying to maintain some professionalism.

“Just a few minutes.”
“Absolutely not.” Yuuri bitterly responded, gritting his teeth as he continued on with his firm face. “Now, can I take your order?” He asked once more, clearly irritated and agitated by the man’s sudden appearance.

“I just want to talk.” Yuuri sighed.

“You have one minute to spit out whatever it is you want to say.” Yuuri dared to look up, releasing a heavy breath. He stared, Yuuri’s honey eyes piercing holes into the other male’s body, almost like he was burning two and a half years worth of grudges into his torso. The man who had once controlled his life and manipulated him had resurfaced, along with every other repressed nightmare.

Chapter Text

“I miss you.” Ryan muttered, Yuuri could already smell the lies as he continued to stare at the countertop, fiddling with the side of his apron. “I was horrible to you, and I’d do anything to make it up to you.” Yuuri huffed, almost in amusement, but continued to listen. “Yuuri, I’d like to give you another chance. I want to build a life with you, if you’ll let me.” Ryan reached a hand out to touch Yuuri’s face, but he immediately batted it away.

“I want you back. I want to show you that I can love you.” Ryan sounded like he was almost… begging. But Yuuri was much less naïve now. Yuuri could smell the manipulation from a mile away and it wrecked. “I really did love you and I never meant to hurt you.”

Lies. All lies.

“You never loved me. You only loved that I would cook and clean for you. That I would wait every night keeping the bed warm like an idiot for you.” Yuuri snarled. “You loved that you could lie to me, smash the pieces of my already shattered heart, physically hurt me. Because I would always love you all the same. Like an idiot.” Yuuri almost cried, his nose flaring and his eyes welling with tears. “You treated me like a fool. And a fool I was. But not anymore. So don’t ever tell me you loved me.” Yuuri sharply spat through angry tears.

“It should be me giving you another chance, not the other way around.” Yuuri gritted his teeth as he faced Ryan properly. “But you don’t deserve one.” Yuuri had learnt from that last relationship what came out of Ryan’s mouth when he was feeling particularly manipulative. “Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the way you treated me. The way you cheated on me. I always thought I was never worthy of your love, but now I realise that in fact, it was you who never deserved me.” Yuuri declared clearly.

“Yuuri please—“ He tried to reach out again, but Yuuri once more swatted his hand away with a loud slap. The staff and customers turned to look at them, the café falling silent, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Yuuri heard the blood rushing in his ears.

“Don’t touch me.” Yuuri took a deep breath. “You ruined my life. You used me and controlled me. You have made it so impossible for me to love anyone out of fear that I would go through what you put me through.” Yuuri snarled through gritted teeth, his brows knitted. He continued. “But I landed myself someone. Someone I don’t deserve. But they treat me so well. So much better than I ever knew was possible.” Yuuri paused, and Ryan was about to open his mouth.

“You don’t get to walk into my life again asking for a fresh slate after what you did to me.” Yuuri hesitated before continuing. “I never realised how toxic and disgusting and awful you were to me until I met Victor. Someone who really treats me how I deserve to be treated.” Ryan seemed to be frozen, staring dazedly as Yuuri spilt his anger.

“You took everything away from me, and I’ve finally managed to get it all back and more. You took my money, my house, you broke my trust in half, you trampled all over me. Heck, you could have done that all again but now?” Yuuri paused, taking a deep, angry breath before continuing. “You will never force your way into my life and take those things away from me again. Especially the one person that means the most to me. So get out.”

“Yuuri please, let me prove myself to you.” Ryan almost pleaded, but Yuuri was not about to give up everything he worked so hard to build for one piece of trash. He wasn’t having any of Ryan’s bullshit, not anymore. After a year and a half of picking up his own pieces and building himself back up, he was anything but ready to be smashed again.

“Get out.” Yuuri said loudly, emphasising his anger. “Don’t ever turn up to my work again. I never want to see you again.” Yuuri turned away from the till and made a dash for the back room. The café was left in silence before momentarily returning to its regular business. Yuuri was sure he was going to get fired.

Yuuri flung himself onto a chair and pulled a concoction of anxiety medication and antidepressants, tossing them into his mouth with a shaky hand as he took a sip of water. He took a few trembling breaths, curling himself up as he cried his eyes out, his heart shaky and rapid. His head was spinning and he felt sick to the stomach, his skin immediately beginning to feel itchy and scratchy. Yuuri clawed at the skin on his arms as he cried, leaving long pale pink marks, along with crescent shaped divets.

Yuuko came in not long after to see Yuuri curled up on himself on a chair, knees tucked up and face buried in his arms.
“Are you okay?” Her soft voice asked. Yuuri nodded before slowly lifting his head.

“Sorry… I shouldn’t have brought my personal issues to work. I’ll go back out now. Sorry for the inconvenience.” Yuuri squeaked as he uncurled himself and wiped his face before standing up.

“It’s not your fault, so you don’t need to apologise. When you get home, have a long well deserved cuddle with Victor.” Yuuko chuckled and Yuuri giggled.

“Thanks, Yuuko.” Yuuri looked at the clock. Just thirty minutes to go.

Those thirty minutes passed quietly, but inside Yuuri’s head was anything but quiet. Yuuri’s head was jumbled. Everything was a mess in there, yet he still managed to serve coffee without missing a single beat. He thought he’d finally forgotten about him, but somehow he found a way to try and worm himself back into Yuuri’s perfect life. It scared him, knowing that Ryan was still around, still alive and kicking.
—————————————————
Seven o’clock rolled around fast and Yuuri just wanted to go home. Yuuri stepped out of the café, his knight in shining armour waiting for him.
“Hey Victor.” Yuuri wearily smiled.

“Hey. Where do you wanna go for dinner?” Victor asked as Yuuri grasped his hand.

“Can we just… go home and grab take out?” His small voice asked as he squeezed Victor’s hand. “I just… I’m not really feeling it…” Yuuri squeaked and Victor pressed a kiss to the crown of his head, gently pushing his fringe out of the way.

“Sure thing. Did something happen at work?” Yuuri hesitantly nodded, holding on tighter to Victor’s hand as he stared at the ground. Victor decided not to press it, deciding that Yuuri would tell him when he was ready.

The walk back to the apartment was silent, and Victor was beginning to get worried. As soon as they stepped into the apartment, they toes off their shoes.
“Go get changed, and I’ll phone for a takeout. How does sushi sound?” Yuuri nodded, pressing a soft kiss to Victor’s lips before moving off to his room.
———————————————————
Yuuri stepped out from his room in sweats and a t-shirt to see Victor at one end of the sofa on his phone with a blanket. Victor looked up and smiled, placing his phone faced down on the coffee table. He opened one arm, lifting the blanket to invite Yuuri in. Silently, Yuuri slipped under his arm, a soft frown covering his face.

“Are you alright?” Yuuri nodded silently, nuzzling his face into Victor’s side as he tucked himself under the blanket, his legs tucked up to his body as well. Both arms came around Victor’s waist, holding onto him tightly.

“Sorry for cancelling our dinner date.” Yuuri mumbled quietly, unwilling to look Victor in the eye.

“It’s okay. You’ve obviously had a stressful shift, so let’s just eat take out, cuddle, get fat together…” Victor chuckled, and Yuuri huffed in amusement, smiling softly at Victor. “You know you can always tell me if something is bothering you, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know. Thank you.” Yuuri leaned up, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of Victor’s lips with a content smile.

The doorbell rang.
“That’ll be our sushi. I’ll go down to the door and grab it.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s head as Yuuri lifted himself from Victor, allowing him to get off the sofa.

Moments later Victor returned with their takeout and Yuuri smiled, shuffling back further to the right to let Victor have his space back. Victor sat down.
“You wanna talk about work?” Victor asked, and Yuuri frowned, his jaw freezing for a moment.

“He came into the café.” Yuuri mumbled, subconsciously snuggling up to Victor more, almost like his unconscious seeking a feeling of security.

“Who—“ Victor’s face went from confusion, to understanding, to a bitter kind of anger within three seconds. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” Victor sighed, setting his chopsticks down to wrap both arms around Yuuri.

Yuuri shook his head. “He came in asking for another chance. Spewing lies about how much he supposedly loved me but I just… I lost it. I was so angry that he thought he could just rock up into my life again like he didn’t cheat on me and abuse me.” Yuuri gritted his teeth. “Talking bullshit about how he wanted another chance. I told him he took everything from me, and he could easily have done so again. But that all changed after I met you. Had he appeared before I met you… I don’t even know what’d be of me.” Yuuri sighed sadly, but then he released a calm breath.

“But it’s okay. Because I have you.” Yuuri smiled up at Victor with the most angelic smile. “And you are all I will ever need.”

Chapter Text

Victor felt his head explode with adoration for this man because that was the sweetest thing he’d ever heard. Stunned silent, tears began to fill Victor’s eyes as he cracked the hugest, most gorgeous yet dorky smile Yuuri had ever seen.
“Yuuri…!” He squeaked, throwing himself at Yuuri some more, as if they weren’t already a hair’s width away from each other. “I love you so much.” Victor smiled, snuggling up to Yuuri. Yuuri pulled away, cupping Victor’s cheek.

“And I love you too.” He smiled sweetly before leaning to kiss Victor’s lips. “So like I said, what happened at work doesn’t matter. All that matters now is that you love me, and I love you.” Yuuri smiled once more, nudging his nose against Victor’s.
———————————————————
Victor was in the last week of his stay. The time had gone so fast, almost like a blur as the weeks passed.
“When’s your graduation, Yuuri?” Victor asked as they cuddled in bed. Phichit, who had just returned from Thailand, had spent the day cooing and taking sneaky pictures of the couple.

“Oh. I graduate next month. On the twentieth.” Yuuri smiled as his fingertips drew gentle patterns on Victor’s hip.

“It’s a shame I can’t be here for it.” Victor sighed. “But I know you’ll be great.” He smiled, but Yuuri looked visibly deflated. Victor thought. “Would you like me to come back and see you graduate?” Yuuri jerked his head up.

“No, no! You can’t! I’ve already taken up so much of your off season training, I can’t let you take anymore time off.” Yuuri justified with a shocked expression, before relaxing. “I’ll take pictures for you. Lots and lots of pictures.” Yuuri smiled, but deep down, he was still pretty disheartened, despite knowing he couldn’t always have Victor. “You focus on skating, okay? I’m sure Peach with flood your texts with pictures.” Yuuri giggled.

“I’ll make sure he does.” Victor huffed with a smile. “I’m sorry I can’t be there.” He sighed.

“Don’t be silly.” Yuuri smiled. “You can’t always be here after all, you have your own life in Russia to live as well, so don’t worry.” Yuuri ran his fingers through Victor’s soft platinum hair with a smile. Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head with a soft smile. “I am a little sad you can’t make it, but you can just make it up to me when you’re next here.” Yuuri smiled with a gentle boop to Victor’s nose with the tip of his finger.

“I’ll spoil you rotten.” Victor smirked.

“I can’t wait.”

The two laid in silence for a little while, Yuuri’s hand resting on top of Victor’s heart. He could feel each pulsing beat against his palm, the loud lub-dub sounding on his hand and resonating through his body.

“Hey Victor,”

“Yes?”

“Do you want to accompany me to the dance studio tomorrow?” Yuuri asked.

“Don’t I always?” Victor asked back.

“Normally yeah, but I’m helping teach a group of children tomorrow, so I wasn’t sure if you were interested in coming.” Yuuri sighed quietly.

“Yuuri. It’s my last week with you, I wouldn’t pass up any opportunity to be with you.” Victor smiled reassuringly. “I’m always interested in every little bit to do with your life – even the tiniest detail.” Victor chuckled.

“You’re sweet.” Yuuri giggled. “Starts at five tomorrow, so we can get lunch beforehand, and dinner after?” Yuuri asked, peering up at Victor.

“My treat.” Victor said.

“No way. You always treat me.” Yuuri giggled. “My treat to you, for being the most amazing and the most caring and the most gorgeous person in the world.” Yuuri smiled sweetly and Victor laughed.

“You absolute sweet bean.”
———————————————————
Victor watched from the sidelines, carefully observing as Yuuri taught the group of young children. About three or four years old, five at the most, Victor was willing to bet.

“Lift your leg just a little more, Maia-chan.” Yuuri cooed softly as he watched a little girl practice an arabesque. “That’s perfect.” Yuuri clapped with a gentle smile as he knelt down to her height. “High five?” Yuuri held up his hand and a small hand, maybe even less than half the size of Yuuri’s own, met his hand.

Yuuri stood back up.
“Left arm up, righttttt passed your head.” Yuuri said, and all the children imitated him in the mirror. “That’s great, now, left leg right out in front of you, then up, bend your knee.” He instructed, one leg outstretched in front of him before bending at the knee. “Everyone got it?” He looked around the studio.

Yuuri was glowing. His smile radiated throughout the room and it warmed Victor’s heart. Yuuri seemed to be great with kids – he was patient with them, they could make the same mistake ten times and Yuuri would remain just as eager to teach them. He was passionate too, the way he interacted with them, made them smile.

“Makoto-kun, bend your arm just a little more.” Yuuri watched in the mirror. “Yes, like that, that’s great.” He smiled fondly. “So we’ll go from the beginning now, slowly.” Yuuri began to move, the children following him just milliseconds behind.

This dance session made Victor realise two things. Firstly, Yuuri was great with kids. Secondly, Victor wanted kids with Yuuri. Maybe it was a little early to be thinking about that. But Victor knew that Yuuri would be a great father. He’d be a father who entertained, yet also taught. He would calm their crying child and tell them everything would be okay, tuck them in bed and kiss their foreheads goodnight.

“Victor… Victor… Victor!” Victor snapped out of his thoughts to find Yuuri stood right in front of him.

“Sorry my love, I was daydreaming.” Victor chuckled. “Yes?”

“Just thought I’d see how you are. The kids are taking a bit of a break at the moment. Sorry for dragging you along, it must be really boring for you.” Yuuri sighed deeply with a frown. Victor ran his thumb gently between the crease of his brows.

“Don’t be silly, nothing with you could possibly be boring.” Victor smiled, and Yuuri looked up at him with large, beautiful eyes. “On the contrary, I think you’re mesmerising. I never realised how great you were with kids.” Victor complemented, and Yuuri turned that adorable shade of pink.

“I… Erm… thanks…” Yuuri sheepishly smiled, though more embarrassed than anything.

Victor hooked two fingers under Yuuri’s chin and gently tugged his face up to kiss his lips. “I think you’d make a great parent.” Victor hunted with a smile as he rubbed his most against Yuuri’s, wrapping both arms around his toned, slender waist.

Yuuri chuckled. “Wouldn’t a little boy and a little girl be adorable?” He smiled shyly, adoring the idea of having children. Yuuri looked up to see Victor with the cutest blush. “Oh? It’s not often that I get to see the great Victor Nikiforov with a blush.” Yuuri teased.

“Do you want kids in the future, Yuuri?” Victor asked hesitantly. Yuuri gazed back at him, surprised at first, before his expression quickly relaxed into a smile. Yuuri had to admit it was a little early to be thinking about kids, but they were something he had thought about and absolutely wouldn’t mind.

“I erm… I have thought about it, and… I definitely wouldn’t mind?” Yuuri responded timidly as he stared at the floor. “Do you?” Yuuri asked back, just as the alarm on his phone sounded. Quickly, Yuuri turned it off. “Sorry, that’s break over. We’ll talk about it later?” Yuuri asked, pecking Victor’s cheek.

“Yeah.” Victor smiled as he returned a kiss to Yuuri’s forehead before letting him go.

Chapter Text

The class was nearing the end. Victor continued to watch contently as Yuuri carried on with his class, and wow, Yuuri had the patience of a saint. Children seem to bring a huge smile to Yuuri’s face – an ear to ear grin every time.

The class soon ended, and Yuuri and Victor stayed behind to make sure all the children had been picked up.

“Yuuri-chan! Who’s that?” Victor was snapped out of his thoughts when a little girl with twin pig tails pointed at him. Victor smiled. “Are you two married, Yuuri?” She asked enthusiastically. Both Yuuri and Victor turned a berry red shade at their cheeks.

“Erm… err… n-not quite, no!” Yuuri frantically answered, and Victor chuckled, walking over. He knelt down to her.

“Hey. I’m Victor.” He smiled, a genuine, happy smile. “What’s your name?” He asked.

“Sakura.” She quietly responded.

“Sakura-chan, what makes you think I’m Yuuri’s husband?” He asked, and Yuuri stood, bright red, staring at the floor.

“Well you hug and kiss and do those things that my parents do, and they’re married?” She cocked her head to the right and put a finger to her lip. Victor chuckled.

“We are a little bit like a married couple, aren’t we?” Victor laughed as he spared a glance at Yuuri, who let out a squeak, covering his blush with his hands. Sakura nodded with a big grin. Victor stood back up, pulling an embarrassed and shy Yuuri into his arms.
———————————————————
A very tired Yuuri collapsed on the sofa, immediately curling up.
“Welcome back! How was dance?” Phichit asked, popping out of his room.

“Tiring.” Yuuri huffed with a soft laugh. “I feel drained.” He complained with a heavy sigh.

“Do you want anything, Yuuri? A drink or something?” Victor asked as Yuuri flopped on the sofa. Yuuri shook his head.

“Come and cuddle with me.” He demanded quietly, releasing a fatigued sigh. Victor chuckled.

“Of course.” Victor stripped himself of his jacket and undid the top couple of shirt buttons, rolling his sleeves up before coming to sit on the sofa. He pulled Yuuri to lean on his shoulder, wrapping them in a blanket.

“Urghhh… my feet are killing.” Yuuri sighed with a soft whine. Victor chuckled.

“Foot massage?” Victor asked.

“You don’t have to.” Yuuri smiled fondly.

“I insist. Treat it as a reward for your hard work.” Victor justified. “So. About your question earlier.” Yuuri knew exactly what question he was referring to, and turned pink at the cheeks as he turned to lay his feet on Victor’s lap.

“Honestly, in the beginning I never wanted kids. Not because I didn’t like them, nothing like that.” Victor started. “More because I was scared. I never wanted to treat a child the way I was treated when I was young.” Victor took a breath, feeling Yuuri curl up to him a bit more before continuing. “I’d never had… I suppose… unconditional love from my parents. Of course, my mother loved me. Very much, actually, but…” Victor let out a huff of air, almost a scoff. “She left. Obviously. So I suppose I never knew how a child should be treated.” Yuuri seemed deflated, but it was easy to understand why Victor didn’t want kids.

Victor dug his knuckles into Yuuri’s heel, massaging the muscle in an attempt to relax them. His fingers squeezed Yuuri’s toes lightly, easing some of the tension as Yuuri kept a close ear on his answer. He switched feet, moving to massage his infers into Yuuri’s right foot.

“How about now?” Yuuri’s small voice asked, quiet and… seemingly vulnerable. Victor pressed his thumbs into the knots of Yuuri’s feet, pressing at his toes, and the arch of his foot.

“Now? I guess you could say it’s a lot different.” He smiled softly. “Now I have someone else to spend the rest of my life with, someone else to teach me how to love a child.” Victor smiled. “Someone else to show me how a child should be loved.” Victor spared a loving glance to Yuuri.

“We’d be great parents, wouldn’t we?” Yuuri chuckled quietly as Victor continued to press into Yuuri’s toes. His soft fingertips ran over the hard callouses of Yuuri’s feet, gently rubbing his thumb over each scar and bruise. To Victor, Yuuri’s feet were the perfect representation of everything he’d worked for – full of scars, blisters, bruises… everything was a sign of Yuuri’s determination.

“We could sure as hell give it a damn good shot.” Victor chuckled.

“I think we’d be bomb ass parents.” Yuuri giggled. He pulled his feet off of Victor’s lap and moved to lay his head on Victor’s lap. Yuuri immediately grabbed Victor’s hand and lacing their fingers together. They sat in silence for a little while, Yuuri closing his eyes and releasing a deep breath.

“Also…” Yuuri started, “about what you told Sakura-chan? About us being like a married couple?” Victor hummed in acknowledgement. “Do you… do you really think that?” Yuuri asked, his voice just a little bit nervous.

Victor thought for a moment before responding. “I do.” Yuuri looked up at him with beaming eyes. “Somethings, of course, are a little unconventional, like the fact that we live an entire continent apart.” Victor snorted. “How do you feel about that?” Victor asked.

Yuuri didn’t hesitate to respond. “It scares me.” He said quietly. “The idea of being engaged, of getting married terrifies me so much.” He gritted his teeth, squeezing Victor’s hand tightly. “I’d love to be engaged, to be able to plan a wedding, to be able to get married. But the idea of it just brings back so many memories of me being sat at home alone, looking for wedding venues whilst my fiancé is off snogging someone else.” Yuuri squeezed out. “It reminds me of all those times I stayed at home alone all night, designing wedding invitations while my fiancé was off sucking someone else’s dick.” Yuuri was almost crying. “And I know that it shouldn’t bother me, but it does. It bothers me because it makes me scared of anything to do with being married.” Yuuri took a deep breath as Victor listened, running his thumb over Yuuri’s knuckle.

“The idea of us being like a married couple warms my heart, especially coming from a little girl. It really does, but when I think about it I can’t help but think that one day my perfect paradise is going to shatter beneath my feet.” Yuuri sighed.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be thinking these things. It’s just me being stupid, I guess.” Yuuri apologised, turning to bury his face in Victor’s stomach. Victor let go of Yuuri’s hand, but before he could question it, he was quickly tugged to sit in Victor’s lap.

“Your feelings are perfectly valid.” Victor reassured. “Besides, it’s not like we’re desperate to tie the knot.” Victor chuckled. “We have time to grow and develop, we have all the time in the world. So don’t worry about that. You’re allowed to be scared, to be terrified, but you’re absolutely not allowed to beat yourself up over it, alright?” Victor gently swept Yuuri’s fringe out of his face, pressing a soft butterfly kiss to his forehead. Yuuri sighed.

“Thank you for being so understanding.” Yuuri contently smiled, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Victor’s neck.

“It’s my pleasure to grow with you, and learn with you.” Victor smiled.

Chapter Text

Victor and Yuuri checked into their hotel room after a long day.
“I’m gonna get changed.” Yuuri went off to the bathroom after digging out some sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Okay.” Victor removed his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt, stripping down to just his boxers. He climbed onto the bed, plugging his phone in. Just a few seconds later, Yuuri came out of the bathroom. He climbed onto the bed next to Victor with a deep sigh.

They tucked themselves under the covers, and Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor’s waist.
“You’re leaving tomorrow.” Yuuri stated with a mumble.

“I am.” Victor sighed sadly.

“I’m gonna miss you…” Yuuri sighed deeply, burying his face in Victor’s toned chest. His fingers idly drew patterns across Victor’s bare abdomen.

“I’ll miss you too. But I’ll be back before you know it.” Victor reassured, tugging Yuuri on top of him. Their chests touched as their faces were mere centimetres away from each other.

“I don’t like letting you go.” Yuuri buried his face in the crook of Victor’s neck as Victor brought his arms around Yuuri’s waist, holding him close. “It’s like a limb has been ripped off my body and I can’t function without it.” Yuuri squeaked. He sounded so vulnerable. He sounded so fragile and it broke Victor’s heart to see him like this. Victor moved one hand up to cradle Yuuri’s head, gently playing with the tufts of hair.

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?” Victor hooked two fingers under Yuuri’s chin and brought his lips to touch Yuuri’s, soft, plump, and pink. Yuuri closed his eyes, his lips moving against Victor’s. Victor swiped his tongue across Yuuri’s lips, almost pushing his tongue between those soft, delectable lips. Victor tangled his tongue with Yuuri’s, sucking and licking.

“Mmhaaah…” Yuuri moaned, a blush covering his cheeks as he panted heavily. They pulled away, a string of saliva connecting their lips for a split second before it snapped. Victor stared into Yuuri’s eyes, before moving in for another heated make out.

Victor moved his hands to Yuuri’s sweatpants-covered ass, one hand squeezing each cheek. Yuuri pulled away.
“V-Vic…” Yuuri began to rock his hips, feeling himself, and Victor, grow hard.

“Yuuri… May I?” Victor asked, slipping the tips of his fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants. Yuuri nodded quickly.

“Y-Yeah…” Victor slowly slipped the sweatpants down Yuuri’s thighs, moving his hands to squeeze the beautiful meat of his thighs. Victor’s hands slid back up his thighs to his ass, pinching softly through his briefs. His hands gently tugged at the briefs, sliding them down Yuuri’s thighs. Each touch of Victor’s fingertips sent sparks down Yuuri’s spine, making him quake and shudder.

Victor clumsily reaches over to the bedside cabinet, grabbing the newly purchased bottle of lube. He brought it behind Yuuri and squeezed a generous amount onto his hands before tossing it down onto the bed. With his clean hand, he pressed down on the small of Yuuri’s back.
“I’m gonna start now, tell me if you feel uncomfortable.” Yuuri nodded frantically against Victor’s collarbone, his arms squeezing tight around Victor.

Victor brought one finger between Yuuri’s cheeks, smearing the warmed lube down his taint. His finger quickly found Yuuri’s hole, furled and twitching slightly. With a soft smile, he pressed his finger into the ring of muscles.

“Hnng!” Yuuri inhaled sharply, clutching tightly onto Victor as he tensed. Yuuri tried to force himself to relax around Victor’s fingertip, clenching and relaxing his hole. Victor hushed him, running his hand up and down Yuuri’s back, his fingertips softly running over the bumps of his spine.

“Shh… just relax… you’re doing great.” Victor kissed his ear, continuing to ease his index finger into Yuuri. “Are you okay?” Yuuri nodded, breathing out a faint “yeah…” against Victor’s shoulder, breathing deeply. Victor worked his finger in and out before adding a second finger.

Victor pushed his fingers in as deep as they would go before spreading them open against Yuuri’s velvety hot walls.
“Ahh… ahnnn…” Yuuri panted heavily against his neck as Victor withdrew his spread fingers almost all the way out before shoving them back in.

He began to pick up the pace.
“I’m gonna add a third finger, you ready?” Victor asked, preparing to slip his third finger between the fluttering, soft walls of Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri’s channel immediately twitched in excitement at the suggestion.

“P-please…” Yuuri panted. “D-don’t make me wait anymore…” Yuuri whimpered, attempting to grind his member against Victor’s own erection. Victor’s size still baffled Yuuri – even though he had taken it before, in his ass and his throat, every touch against it made Yuuri tremble and shake in pleasure and excitement. “I want m-more…” Yuuri whined, holding onto Victor.

“Alright, alright, be patient my love.” Victor chuckled. Yuuri’s breath hitched at the slight burn of the stretch.

“Nngh… Haa… Ahnn…” Yuuri groaned with heavy breaths, whining as Victor moved his fingers. He began to search around for the spot he knew made Yuuri writhe in pleasure, pressing around the soft walls to find that sensitive bundle of nerves. “Ahh!!” Yuuri whimpered, immediately tightening as Victor’s fingers struck his prostate. “Hhnnng…”

“Does that feel good, Yuuri?” Yuuri bit into his shoulder, attempting to hold back a loud moan.

“Tell me, beautiful.”

“Y-yes… Victor… god, please… please I want more…” Yuuri begged, scratching his nails and digging them into Victor’s back. Victor withdrew his fingers slowly, and Yuuri whined as Victor’s fingers gently teased the pink rim.

“Condom or no?” Yuuri shook his head rapidly.

“Want to… to feel you…” Yuuri squeaked, breathless and panting, his hot breath sending shivers down Victor’s spine.

“Alright. Take a deep breath.” Victor’s hands grasped Yuuri’s plush cheeks, pulling them apart. He released one in order to line himself up as Yuuri inhaled a sharp, shaky breath. With a gentle push of Yuuri’s hips, Victor’s tip slipped in with a lewd pop. Yuuri’s breath hitched, whimpering softly.

Victor’s hands moved to Yuuri’s hips, his thumbs massaging gently into the soft flesh just above the bone. Yuuri began to lower his trembling hips, his thighs burning and shaking at the numb ache.
“L-lube…” Yuuri choked out, stopping as he grasped Victor’s shoulder.

“Sorry, sweetling.” Victor quickly grasped the lube, squeezing a generous amount on his hands before beginning to work it into Yuuri’s rim and around his cock. Yuuri released a deep sigh of relief he didn’t even know he was holding, as he took the rest of Victor’s length in. As his weight fell onto Victor’s lap, he pulled Victor’s face down for a deep kiss as Victor’s hands ran up and down his back softly.

“You’re doing great, baby.” Victor panted between kisses. Yuuri stayed seated in his lap for a few moments, allowing himself to adjust to the burning stretch. “How do you feel?” Victor asked, peppering Yuuri’s soft face in butterfly kisses, his hands roaming over Yuuri’s soft, pale skin.

“G-good… h-hurts a little…” Yuuri breathed as he began to bring himself up gradually.

“Take it slow, babe. We have all night.” Victor chuckled breathily as he felt Yuuri begin to pick up the pace. Yuuri whined, almost like a child as he muttered random nothings into Victor’s neck. Yuuri clenched his ass muscles hard, as if to punish Victor for his sassy mouth. “Ahh, babe—“ Victor gritted his teeth, digging his fingertips into Yuuri’s hips as Yuuri’s ass tightened and relaxed repeatedly around him.

Victor began to thrust his hips up, meeting Yuuri’s hips.
“Nghh… Vic-Victor… Ahh… You f-feel… good… Ahnnn…” Yuuri babbled. “Ahh… S-So much… V-Victor…” Victor slammed into Yuuri’s prostate, his head swimming and drowning in Yuuri’s beautiful moans. Yuuri groaned and moaned as he held on tightly to Victor, leaning their sweaty, sticky foreheads together.

As they continued to move in unison Victor moved one hand up to Yuuri’s hair, holding onto it tightly as he tugged their faces together in a messy kiss. Yuuri moaned loudly into the kiss, their tongues tangling and licking together. Hot breath mingled before Yuuri pulled away.

“I’m… Vic… g-gonna come…” Yuuri whimpered. “V-Victor… I-inside… please… I want it… want it inside…” Yuuri pleaded as released a loud moan.

“V-Vitya…” Victor tried to coherently string words together, but failed. “C-call me… V-Vitya…” Victor panted as Yuuri held tightly onto him as he rode Victor’s sizeable length.

Yuuri tried to choke the diminutive out.
“V-Vitya… Vitya…” And God, the way the pet-name rolled of Yuuri’s tongue was just… It did wonderful, wonderful things to Victor. Just hearing the name from the love of his life warmed Victor’s heart. It sent a burning feeling through his chest, spreading and spreading.

“G-gonna come…” Victor choked out as he began to move his hips erratically. He buried his nose in Yuuri’s neck, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s slender waist, hugging him close. “Coming, Yuuri… Yuuri… I love you…!” Victor groaned deeply, holding his breath as he came inside Yuuri, filling him up.

The warm feeling spread throughout Yuuri’s body, his muscles tensing as he wailed loudly, Victor’s name chanted almost like a mantra.
“Vitya… Vitya… Vitya!” Yuuri screamed his release, hot, white fluid coating their abdomens. “L… Love you… too…” Yuuri quietly whispered, voice hoarse from it’s use. Yuuri’s forehead fell onto Victor’s shoulder as Victor laid back on the bed, breathless and sticky with sweat and semen.

Victor and Yuuri finally caught their breath.
“I love hearing my name on your lips.” Victor admitted with a breathy chuckle.

“Really?” Yuuri asked. Victor nodded. “Vitya… Vitya… Vitya… Vit—“ Yuuri was cut off when soft, kiss-bitten lips attacked his own. Smiling into the kiss, Yuuri moaned softly as Victor kissed him hard.

“I’ll have a heart attack if you keep saying it.” Victor chuckled, slipping out of Yuuri with a wince and a sharp breath. Yuuri smiled, laughing quietly as he pressed soft kisses to Victor’s face.

“Vitya… I love it. I love that name.” Yuuri said, cupping Victor’s cheek lovingly with the most angelic smile Victor had ever seen. It was… bright, beautiful. But most of all, it belonged to the love of his life. “And I love you.”

“Not as much as I love you, beautiful.” Victor smiled softly, nudging his nose against Yuuri’s before pressing a careful butterfly kiss to his lips.

Chapter Text

Yuuri stood on his toes, fisting the lapels of Victor’s coat as their lips connected. Tears poured down his cheeks as they kissed, Victor’s arms refusing to release Yuuri’s waist, pulling him in close. Their eyes were closed, noses side by side of each other as their lips worked together, trying to force as many months worth of kisses as possible into one. Breathless, Yuuri pulled away.

Victor brought his hand up to cup Yuuri’s cheek, staring into those glassy chocolate eyes. His thumb swiped away Yuuri’s tears.
“I’ll be back before you know it. I can promise you that, beautiful.” Victor promised, his thumb running over Yuuri’s cheek as his other hand moved to grab Yuuri’s. “I love you a million times over, darling daisy.” With a squeeze of Yuuri’s hand, Victor’s sweet words turned Yuuri into mush. Tears flowed down his cheeks some more, staining them as he sniffled his sobs.

“Come back soon.” Yuuri squeaked with a soft sob. “I love you so, so much, Vitya.” He cried, forcing his face into Victor’s neck, inhaling the scent of his expensive cologne one last time before Victor had to leave. Yuuri lingered in Victor’s warmth, seemingly too scared to release him.

“Keep dancing for me. I want to see every choreography you make.” Victor chuckled, sweeping some hair out of Yuuri’s eyes as he sniffled with a nod.

“You too. I wanna see all your skates.” Yuuri smiled back with a tearful chuckle. Yuuri tugged Victor down for another passionate kiss, locking their lips together as Yuuri’s hands found purpose in Victor’s silver locks. Victor’s arms held Yuuri’s beautiful form against his own.

Victor felt his heart squeeze and tear in two at the sight of Yuuri crying. It bought soft tears to his own eyes as he heard Yuuri’s stifled sobs, heart-wrenching tears slipping down his cheeks and landing at the corner of his lips. Victor pulled away, pressing his forehead against Yuuri’s and holding his face with both hands as he closed his eyes.

“I love you, gorgeous. I’ll see you soon.” Victor whispered as Yuuri’s cried between heavy breaths.

“I love you too… Let me know when you’re home.” He said lovingly between tears before pressing one last kiss to Victor’s lips.

“Of course I will.” Yuuri took Victor’s hands in his, staring up at him for bare moments before Victor pressed a kiss to his nose. Yuuri felt Victor’s hands slide out of his own and he so desperately wanted to squeeze and hold onto them.

The feeling of Victor’s large hands against his, the feeling of those warm palms against his, the feeling of those fingers drawing soft patterns into his skin. Yuuri was going to miss it. He held gently onto the tips of Victor’s fingers, wanting to feel that soft sense of security once more.

To let go of his hands felt like… like dropping his shield. Victor, who had protected him, who had held him when he cried, who had told him everything would be okay. Letting go of his hands just felt like it would make him so much more vulnerable.

Since the longest time Yuuri finally felt like he could trust someone with his life, like he could depend on someone. After hiding behind the walls that protected him for so long Victor had broken them down, smashing them down with a sledge hammer, forcing Yuuri out of his shell. Victor was the only one who made Yuuri genuinely smile. The only person to ever step into his life and stare at him with the most adoring expression.

With a heavy heart, Yuuri released his hands. Victor grabbed the handle of his suitcase. One more soft whisper of “I love you” brushed the shell of Yuuri’s ear and with a choked cry, Yuuri managed to squeeze those three words out in return.

Yuuri felt Victor’s soft hair brush against his cheek as he pulled away. He watched as Victor turned his back, his suitcase trailing behind him as he walked towards the checkout desk. Victor turned back around, blowing Yuuri a kiss. With a teary smile, Yuuri blew one back, his cheeks blotchy and pink, his eyes puffy and red. Yuuri gave one lad longing stare at the back of Victor before turning on his feet and leaving the airport.

As Victor headed straight up to the first class check-in desk, he turned around to look at where Yuuri was previously stood, his love no longer present. He felt his heartstrings tug, his heart cracking as his smile faded.
———————————————————
Yuuri went straight to the dance studio, face still tear stained and heart still hurting.

He slotted his iPod into the dock, moving to the centre of the studio.

“Kissing in the rain, walking on the beach.
I can see it now almost happening
Sneaking out at night, living like we're free.
You and I can do anything we please.
You've got the face to fit the frame
I cannot look away.
Can't you see I'm hypnotised?”

Yuuri zoned out, tuning into his thoughts instead. He could still feel Victor’s burning touch on his hips from the night before, the feeling of Victor’s hands holding him tightly engraved into his skin. But at the same time, Victor’s soft hands, Victor’s loving touch was engrained onto his hands, his soft cheeks, everywhere tingled. Yuuri just wanted Victor.

“We're picture perfect, sweet like candy,
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.
Picture perfect, barefoot beauty
You stole my heart just like in a movie.
Got the key to me,
Tell me, tell me I'm your darling daisy.
Picture perfect, sweet like candy
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.”

Yuuri danced like water, fluid and free. His body just… flowed. Every swift flick of his wrist, every smooth lift of his leg told a different part of Yuuri’s story. Some of the things on his mind couldn’t be said with words, only through the way he danced. Yuuri struggled with his words, he really struggled. Often he found his tongue tangled, his lips caught together as he tried to put words together. He had trouble expressing himself after being told for years that no one loved him. After being told for years that he didn’t matter. Only now, he does matter. He knows now that he is important and people do love him. How do you go about suddenly trying to voice that? Despite Yuuri’s difficulties in using words to express himself one thing Yuuri is good at was using his body to tell his story.

“Spinning me around, falling on the ground,
Got to say your voice is my favourite sound.
Counting every star, dreaming every dream,
You and I could live out the perfect scene.
You've got the face to fit the frame
I cannot look away.
Can’t you see I'm hypnotised?”

Victor made Yuuri’s heart beat. Even after three and a half months together Victor always brought a blush to Yuuri’s face, along with a smile. Victor was Yuuri’s biggest pillar, his biggest support. God, Yuuri thought he could write a bible about how amazing Victor was. Victor was his best friend, his shoulder to cry on, his biggest fan. And without Victor Yuuri often found himself… lost. He found himself needing a few days to adjust to his missing soulmate, to readjust to his less than mediocre life.

“We're picture perfect, sweet like candy,
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.
Picture perfect, barefoot beauty
You stole my heart just like in a movie.
Got the key to me,
Tell me, tell me I'm your darling daisy.
Picture perfect, sweet like candy
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.”

Yuuri dreamed of marrying Victor. He dreamed of it often. Even though the idea of marriage made his legs tremble and his heart squeeze and his eyes water, even though the very thought marriage brought back painful memories, caused repressed thoughts to resurface, rendered him terrified… the idea of holding onto Victor for the rest of his life really and truly was worth all of those sickening feelings he felt when even thinking about marriage.

Yuuri wondered if he’d ever get to marry Victor, if he’d ever get his dream wedding. However his doubts were not within Victor, but within himself. Victor tells Yuuri he loves him more than anything, but Yuuri’s anxiety tells him Victor might leave him. His depression likes to remind him that the last person who told Yuuri they loved him was unfaithful. Victor tells Yuuri that he sees themselves a bit like a married couple. But his anxiety tells him Victor’s just joking. His depression likes to remind him that the last time anyone ever saw him as part of what seemed like a married couple his significant other was sneaking off with another behind Yuuri’s back.

“I saw your face in my dream,
You and I had everything.
A fairytale, a fantasy,
We could be anything.
I saw your face in my dream,
A fairytale, a fantasy.
We could be anything.”

But none of that matters anymore, Yuuri concludes. If only Victor could see Yuuri dance right now. If only Victor were there to understand everything Yuuri was trying to tell him; “I love you, Vitya.” “I never want to let you go, Vitya.” “I can’t function without you, Vitya.” “You’re the only person ever on my mind, Vitya.”
Tears silently fell down Yuuri’s face as thoughts of Victor plagued his mind. They invaded his head, throwing out anything that wasn’t to do with Victor. Victor, only Victor. The way he smelt, the way he smiled, the way his Russian accent was just so prominent when he was sleepy. The way his hair fell, the way his eyes sparkled, the way he pouted. Yuuri missed it all. He missed everything. He missed the way those strong arms wrapped around his waist. He missed the way that soft, slightly pointed nose tickled his collarbone in the morning. He missed the way Victor’s lips felt against his cheek.

Without Victor it feels like the whole world is against him. It felt as though the poles of the earth are just tugging them apart like magnets. Yuuri brought his arms together at his chest, his head tilted up to the ceiling as he lifted himself on his toes, bringing his body into a gracious spin. He brought himself into a leap, his legs long and slender as they launched him in the air.

“We're picture perfect, sweet like candy.
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.
Picture perfect, barefoot beauty
You stole my heart just like in a movie.
Got the key to me,
Tell me, tell me I'm your darling daisy.
Picture perfect, sweet like candy
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.
Got the key to me,
Tell me, tell me I'm your darling daisy.
Picture perfect, sweet like candy
I'll be your girl, yeah, I'll be your baby.”

After the track came to an end Yuuri fell to the studio floor, curling up on himself as he brought his knees up, releasing more tears. He was surprised he still had tears to shed, to be honest. That mental image of Victor releasing his hands, turning his back to go to the check in desk replayed over and over. And it seemed as though each time Victor left it got more and more painful.

Chapter Text

Victor collapsed on the cold bed, Makkachin immediately pouncing up to join him.

To: Yuuri <3
Just got home... I miss you lots :( Makkachin says hi <3
Love you, sweetie <3
VN

Victor locked his phone, sliding it on the bedside table with a heavy sigh. He pulled Makkachin close, burying his face in her fur. Victor knew he’d have to wait endlessly for a reply from Yuuri, who had a jam packed day ahead of him.
Victor looked at the time – 12:35. That would mean in Tokyo it would be 6:35 and Yuuri should be finishing work soon. Victor smashed his face into a pillow, groaning as Makkachin moved to lick the side of his exposed face.

To: Yuuri <3
Let me know how your day was? Love you, beaut <3
VN

To Victor’s surprise, a reply came quite quickly.

From: Yuuri <3
Glad you’re home safe. I miss you lots too – the bed is cold without you… I don’t like it… (´;ω;`) Hello Makkachin! <3
My head is pounding… I was let off work early today, at 6 instead of 7.I spent most of the rest of the day coaching again… the kids seem to miss you! Love you too ♡
YK

Victor grinned like a dork as he read Yuuri’s message.

To: Yuuri <3
Ohh… I wish I could be there to warm the bed with you and watch over you! It’s cold here without you by my side too… :(
Awww how sweet of them! I miss them too!
Are you free to phone? ♡
VN
———————————————————
From: Vitya <3
Ohh… I wish I could be there to warm the bed with you and watch over you! It’s cold here without you by my side too… :(
Awww how sweet of them! I miss them too!
Are you free to phone? ♡
VN

Yuuri chuckled at the message and tapped Victor’s contact icon to tap call.

“Yuuri!” A cheerful voice called from the other end of the line as Yuuri tapped the camera icon. It put a soft smile on Yuuri’s face. “Yuuri! I miss you…” Victor whined and Yuuri chuckled.

“I miss you too, Vitya.” Yuuri said gently as he pulled the blankets up to his chin. “Makka! Hello, girl.” Yuuri smiled as Makkachin boofed at the sight of Yuuri appearing on Victor’s iPad screen. “How was the flight home?” Yuuri asked quietly, turning his attention back to Victor.

“Cold, lonely, sad…” Victor sighed, and Yuuri could virtually hear the pout in his voice, as well as see it. “It’s just nowhere near as exciting as when I’m coming to see you.” Victor murmured sadly.

“It’s lonely here without you too… Yesterday was the first time I’d slept alone in three weeks and it just wasn’t the same. I can’t wait to hold you again.” Yuuri could feel the emotions welling up in his eyes.

Victor’s face lit up as Yuuri’s cheeks pinked a little in colour. “Yuuri! You’re so sweet! I wish I could have brought you home with me…” Victor pouted, prompting a soft giggle from Yuuri. “How’s your head?” Victor asked quietly as he saw the way Yuuri’s eyes fluttered, almost deliriously as he laid in bed.

“It kills… I feel like my head is going to explode.” Yuuri sighed. “It’s just throbbing behind my eyes and it’s sharp and really hurts.” Yuuri released a deep breath, massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers.

“My poor baby… I wish I could be there for you.” Worry glassed over Victor’s eyes as his brows knitted together. “Have you taken any paracetamol?” Victor asked. “Drank any water or eaten anything?”

“I’ve got some water here. I did eat earlier but my head just killed so much I couldn’t eat much.” Yuuri looked like he was on the verge of tears. Victor’s heart aches for him. “I haven’t had any painkillers yet because… because my Auntie used to be in pain so frequently that she became immune to them and I don’t ever want that to happen to me…” Yuuri briefly explained with a grumble and the clutch of his head.

“Is Phichit home?” Yuuri nodded.

“Hold on.” Victor picked up his phone and shot a quick text to Phichit.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Can you grab Yuuri one of those cooling pads for his head? He has a headache.
VN

“What are you doing?” Yuuri asked as Victor sent the text.

“Making sure you’re comfortable.” Victor smiled.

“You’re not sending one thousand roses or something extra are you?” Yuuri joked lightly as pain coursed through his head.
Victor didn’t get a reply from Phichit but he did hear him come into the room.

“At your boyfriend’s request.” Phichit smiled, sticking the patch on Yuuri’s forehead. “Thank him.” Phichit said before leaving.

“You’re so sweet, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled weakly with a fragile, yet loving expression as he sighed in relief at the coldness of the patch.

“It’s the least I could do since I’m in Russia… I really left at a bad time!” Victor whined quietly as he worryingly stared at Yuuri. Yuuri laughed lightly.

“Every time you leave is a bad time, Vitya. Because you’re not here for me to hold.” Victor’s heart squeezed and his eyes widened. “I can’t wait to be reunited forever with you. One day.” Yuuri said hopefully with a content gaze into those ever so bright eyes.

“One day, my love. When both our lives are passed the busy phase.” Victor said. “One day when I’m retired from skating, and you’re still dancing away. One day we can buy a house together, get a dog together, adopt a child together, retire together. And all those other things I wish you were here to do with me.” Victor sighed quietly, more to himself than Yuuri. “Maybe you’ll be a dance teacher and I’ll be a skating coach. Our child would be a figure skater and a dancer all in one. Can you imagine that?” Victor smiled to himself before realising that Yuuri had closed his eyes.

“We’d be the best parents.” Victor continued. “Spoiling our kids, spoiling our dogs, still being helplessly romantic and in love. Wouldn’t that be cute?” Victor asked, but got no response from the sleeping form on the other end of the line. “Are you asleep?” Victor asked, just to be sure. The adorable marshmallow-like slump continued to lie still, cuddled up in himself. Victor’s heart longed to be the one Yuuri cuddled every night.

“Sweet dreams, lyubov moya. I love you.” Victor ended the call at Yuuri’s sleeping face with a gentle smile before letting out a sigh.
———————————————————
Yuuri woke up the next morning, head more numb than painful. His phone was still in its dock beside him, and his heart deflated slightly, remembering he’d fallen asleep on Victor.

To: Vitya <3
Sorry I fell asleep on you last night… text when you wake up? Love you lots ♡♡♡
YK

Yuuri sat up, immediately reaching for a bottle of water with a heavy sigh. He peeled the cooling pad, now lukewarm, off his forehead. He sluggishly dragged himself out of bed and went to the bathroom for a shower.

Near scolding water hit down on Yuuri’s soft skin, his arms up as his fingers carded through his hair. The steam rose, clouding Yuuri’s head as water trickled down the beautiful curved and divets of his muscle.
Yuuri took a deep breath, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.

It felt nice to have Victor’s arms around his waist while they showered, to have his chin on his shoulder while water scorched their skin. But now, even with the shower at the hottest temperature, the shower felt… cold.

Even as the hot water flowed down his skin no warmth could compare to the space heater that was his boyfriend. Nothing felt nicer than that large chest pressed against his back, arms holding him tight.
———————————————————
Victor awoke at five o’clock the next morning, unable to sleep due to jet lag. Picking up his phone, he saw Yuuri’s message.

From: Yuuri <3
Sorry I fell asleep on you last night… text when you wake up? Love you lots ♡♡♡
YK

Quickly, he typed out a reply.

To: Yuuri <3
It’s okay ♡ you looked adorable :) I’m awake now! It’s 5am but my body just… AHH… are you free for a phone call? Love you lots <3
VN

From: Yuuri <3
Good morning sleepyhead ♡ Just got home from coaching so I’m free. Didn’t have to move so much today!
Still adjusting to not having you in my bed…
YK

Victor smirked, a bright idea coming to his head.

To: Yuuri <3
Unfortunately we can’t fix that but I have an idea… if you know what I mean ;) are you home alone, beautiful?
VN

Chapter Text

Victor’s phone immediately rang.

“He—“ Victor started, but he was quickly interrupted.

“W-were you suggesting t-that… I… we…?!” Yuuri struggled to string words together as he understood what Victor was suggesting. He found his cheeks heating up quickly as he stammered, his heart thumping at the thought of what Victor was suggesting.

“Suggesting what, Yuuri?” Victor’s voice dropped low, rumbling in Yuuri’s ear as he dragged out the syllables of his name. It sent a shiver down Yuuri’s spine, hearing his voice deep and enticing. Yuuri whined.

“T-that we… h-have…” Yuuri was blushing so hard, Victor could literally see that beautiful fluster covering his soft cheeks. “S-sex… on the phone…?” Yuuri allowed his voice to trip over as he failed to keep his racing heart at bay.

“Are you up for it? You can say no, if you want, and we can just talk.” Victor’s voice returned to its normal soft tone, gentle and lilting. Yuuri gulped hard, taking a deep breath.

“I-I’ve never… done this before…” Yuuri squeaked quietly, and Victor chuckled, a smile appearing on his face.

“That’s alright.” Victor reassured as he could hear the gears turning in Yuuri’s head. “If you would like, we can take it slow.” Victor added.

“I want to.” Yuuri’s voice had a little more confidence to it.

Victor took a moment, almost as if he was switching to his bedroom alter ego.
“Alright. Make sure you’re comfortable, baby.” God, Victor’s voice dropped octaves again, down to his bedroom voice. Yuuri immediately felt himself harden. He whimpered. Was a voice kink a thing? Because if it was Yuuri had just discovered he might have one – damn, Victor’s voice.

Victor put Yuuri on speaker and set his phone down, slipping a hand into his sweatpants.

“Yuuri~?” Victor’s Russian accent was so heavily prominent. “I want you to think about me when you touch yourself.” Victor heard a soft moan at the other end of the line.

Yuuri’s hand slid into his yoga pants, grasping the half hardened length slowly. “V-Vitya…” he gasped, bringing his hand down to the root and squeezing. Yuuri panted hard, trying to even out his shaky breaths. “V-Vit…” Yuuri tried to choke out.

“Do you feel good, Yuuri?” Victor’s sultry voice asked as Yuuri whimpered. His hand came around his hardened member and he began to work his wrist up and down.

Yuuri thought he might come just from Victor’s voice if he kept talking.
“Not…” Yuuri’s breath hitched as his nail grazed the tip. “Not as good as you…” He breathed deeply, his words trailing into a soft moan.

“How does it feel when I do it, Yuuri? Tell me, How does it make you feel?” Victor asked as his member throbbed in his hand, tinted pink and slightly red at the tip.

“H-hot… Sensitive…” Yuuri blurted out the first words that he could think of as his eyes, fingertips stroking over his burning tip, pearly beads of semen already beginning to leak from the tip. “I always—“ Yuuri cut himself off with the hitch of his breath as his finger grazed over a sensitive spot. “Feel loved when you do it.” Yuuri managed to pull words together, his body now sweaty and just a little too warm.

Victor bit the corner of his lip, squeezing down to calm his nerves and cool his head before continuing.
“Push your nail into the tip, Yuuri. Gently.” Victor’s shaky voice ordered through gritted moans of pleasure. “I know you love it when I do it.” Victor smirked as his hand moved down, giving the softest touch to his sac.

“Nngh…” The very thought sent shivers down Yuuri‘s spine. He brought the tip of his index finger to the sensitive head of his cock. With his nail, he pushed it gently against the entrance of it. “Ahhh!” Yuuri’s legs shuddered and trembled as he held his nail against the tip, more semen bleeding out from the hole. “V-Vitya…”

Victor bit into his knuckle, quieting the low moans that vibrated in his throat. Victor’s member was thick in his hand, the prominent vein pulsing as Victor’s fingers went up and down against it.
“Hnngggg… Y-Yuuri…” Victor breathed heavily.

“Y-your voice…” Yuuri’s soft voice whispered. “M-more…” Yuuri pleaded as his other hand came down to fondle his sensitive sac. He squeezed tightly, gently rubbing together. Lightning bolts shot up his spine, his toes curling into the sheets of the bed as his back arched.
“Ahhh!” Yuuri loudly moaned, accompanied by a series of deep pants.

“More what, Yuuri?” Victor bit through soft moans. “More of my voice?” Victor panted heavily as he teased the head of his cock. He took the tip between his thumb and index finger, squeezing the tip with a loud groan.

“Y-Yeah… I want… more… your voice…” Yuuri whispered softly.

Victor smirked and managed to even out his breathing, pulling himself together to give Yuuri what he wanted.
“Does my beautiful boy have a voice kink? Hmm?” Victor’s voice was so… hot. It seemed to drop another octave, rumbling deeply in Yuuri’s ear. “Does it turn you on when I speak?” Victor didn’t get a verbal response, only a quiet whimper as he heard Yuuri’s bed rock slightly.

Yuuri’s back arched and he shuddered as Victor’s voice rang low in his ear.
“V-Vitya… g-gonna…” Yuuri bit the corner of his lip, squeezing hard on his length in an attempt to last just that bit longer. His fingers tangled themselves in the pillow as his cheeks flushed, his teeth sinking into his lip and drawing tiny amount of blood.

Victor, close to orgasm himself, smirked in satisfaction as his hand ran up and down his engorged member.
“You’re doing great, Yuuri. Are you going to come for me?” Victor asked, and with a sharp inhale, Victor heard Yuuri scream.

“Ahh! V-Vitya!” Yuuri shuddered and shook as his orgasm trembled through his body, electricity coursing through his limbs as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Victor bit his lip, a mumble of “Yuuri…” on his tongue as he splattered his hand in semen.

Yuuri, overcome with emotions, came back to his senses minutes later and immediately, tears flooded his eyes.
“Vitya…” his soft voice trembled, clearly upset. He sounded… vulnerable.

“Malysh? Are you okay?” Victor’s voice returned to its usual gentle tone. “Why are you crying?” He asked as Yuuri’s muffled sobs filled Victor’s ears.

“Miss you… I miss you so much…” Yuuri clenched his fist into the pillow had his head on, shoving his face in the pillow. Victor’s heart broke in two at hearing Yuuri’s cries. Yuuri’s arm tugged Victor’s shirt towards him and he buried his face in it.

“Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you sure everything is okay?” Victor asked, concerned that Yuuri’s sudden mood change was just a little deeper than missing his boyfriend.

“‘M okay…” Yuuri mumbled, sniffling into Victor’s shirt as he sighed deeply.

“I miss you too, beautiful. I’ll come back before the season begins.” Victor softly smiled, listening as Yuuri sobbed. Victor gave Yuuri a moment to compose himself.

“Sorry for being so emotional.” Yuuri muttered after he’d had some time to bring himself together. “I’m just lonely.” Yuuri pouted, patting his eyes dry.

“Oh baby…” Victor quietly sighed. “I wish I could be with you.” Victor’s brow furrowed. He heard Yuuri shuffle and he presumed Yuuri was wrapping himself up in the blanket or something. Victor’s eyes were drooling as he yawned loudly.

“Shall I let you go back to sleep? I have to go back out later for work.” Yuuri asked, shoving his negative emotions to the back of his head.

“Sorry baby…” Victor yawned again. “I’ll text when I wake up again?” Victor shuffled down back under the soft covers, his eyes quickly slipping closed.

“Yeah. Sleep well, love you lots.” Yuuri smiled, “kisses, mwah.” Yuuri imitated a loud kiss.

“Love you lots too. Kisses.” Victor chuckled. “Mwah.”

Chapter Text

Victor needed a new way to surprise Yuuri. Though, to be perfectly honest, even Victor just being there for Yuuri when he graduated was a pretty damn good surprise in itself.

To: Phichit Chulanont
PHICHIT PLEASE HELP

To: Phichit Chulanont
PHICHIT PLEASE

From: Phichit Chulanont
VICTOR WHAT DO YOU NEED

To: Phichit Chulanont
I WANT TO SURPRISE YUURI AT HIS GRADUATION

To: Phichit Chulanont
CAN YOU HELP ME GRAB A TICKET AND HELP ME PLAN

From: Phichit Chulanont
Oh, if only Yuuri knew the great Victor Nikiforov was kept awake by dorky thoughts of how to surprise his love! Of course I can help you there.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Thank you omfg I’ll text again when I’ve planned something! Also don’t tell Yuuri – I know he hasn’t been very happy recently so I want to make this special :)

From: Phichit Chulanont
Sure thing, just let me know! Yeah, I noticed. Yuuri is really happy with you btw, I guess he just doesn’t like the idea of being far apart :(

To: Phichit Chulanont
I wanna fix that ASAP for my Yuuri <3

From: Phichit Chulanont
*GASP* ARE YOU TRYING TO KIDNAP MY SON

Victor chuckled to himself at that.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Who knows… we’ll see!!
———————————————————
Victor spent a long time pondering about other ways to surprise Yuuri – he thought about a nice expensive watch, a diamond ring, a bangle… but all of those things seemed to be more about monetary value than sentiment. Victor sighed deeply, tossing his head back as he rubbed his eyes. Then he thought. What about rings? Promise rings, specifically.

After a bit of a surf on the internet Victor came across simple bands made of titanium, nice and simple. He decided a cute idea would be to have “always” on the inside of the ring, debossing the word onto the skin. Great. Now he needed Yuuri’s ring size, or at least, the circumference of his finger.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Phichit! Can you do a Mission Impossible for me and find the ring size of Yuuri’s right ring finger without being too obvious?

From: Phichit Chulanont
Yeah idk how I’m gonna do that but I can give it a damn good shot! Will text when I get it. Are you proposing?!!?!?!? ;))))

To: Phichit Chulanont
Thank you! You’re a godsend! Haha no not yet, I don’t think Yuuri’s ready for that yet, just getting some promise rings!

From: Phichit Chulanont
I know I am ;) Ohh! Cute! Yuuri’s home now so I’ll let you go. I’ll text when I get that ring measurement!

Victor smiled to himself. He saved the order for now and shut down his laptop.
———————————————————
Phichit couldn’t help but laugh at the stupidity of his idea, but guess what? It worked.

“Yuuri!” Yuuri’s head turned towards the Thai boy, who came over holding a pot of play-doh.

“Yes?”

“Can I borrow your right hand?” Yuuri raised an eyebrow and Phichit tried his very best to look totally normal.

“What are you up to?” Yuuri asked suspiciously and Phichit squeaked in surprise.

“Nothing!” He blurted out. “Can I borrow your hand?” With a roll of his eyes, Yuuri put his book down and passed Phichit his right hand. Phichit quickly seized his hand and stabbed Yuuri’s ring finger into the pot of play-doh.

“Gross!” Yuuri protested. “What the heck are you even doing?” Yuuri asked in disgust as he quickly withdrew his finger from the pot, shivering at the slimy feeling and the salty smell.

Yuuri did not get an answer.
“Thanks!” Phichit made a dash back to his room and tipped the prepared plaster of Paris into the mould. If you asked Phichit, this was a genius idea. He smirked as he set the cast of Yuuri’s ring finger to dry.

The next morning he peeled the play-doh away to reveal a perfect cast of Yuuri’s ring finger. Quickly, Phichit made a run for the nearest jewellery store. Honestly, he’s never run so fast in his life.

“Hi, what are you looking for today?” The shop assistant was smartly dressed, in a black suit with a contrasting white dress shirt.

“I was wondering if you could get me the ring size for… Erm… this?” Phichit sheepishly asked, handing the shop assistant the cast. The shop assistant looked very, very confused to say the least. If he bought anything was beyond weird, he didn’t say anything.

“Erm… sure thing… I’ll be back in a moment?” The shop keeper took the… finger… off behind a counter to measure the ring size. He returned quickly.

“The size of your… cast is a size 9. Would you like me to show you a selection of rings for that size?” The shop assistant asked, handing Phichit back the cast of Yuuri’s finger.

“No thank you, bye!” Phichit made a rush for the door, determined to get out of the situation in which he was so heavily judged. Dammit, the things he did for Yuuri. Well, Victor, but Yuuri indirectly.

To: Victor Nikiforov
YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I GOT

From: Victor Nikiforov
Omfg. You legend.

To: Victor Nikiforov
That’s you btw. SIZE 9. I WENT THROUGH SOME DRASTIC MEASURES TO GET THAT. INCLUDING SOME FUNNY LOOKS AND LOTS OF JUDGEMENT.

From: Victor Nikiforov
Omfg you’re amazing you deserve a Lamborghini or something. Seriously!

To: Victor Nikiforov
I don’t need anything in return. Just make Yuuri happy <3

From: Victor Nikiforov
Sure can do!!!
———————————————————
Victor never slammed check out so fast. Finally. Finally the rings would be on their way.

He’d left the obtaining of graduation tickets to Phichit, and next on his list were plane tickets. How long should he stay for now? Victor pondered for a little while. It was still the off season, and he’d have everything choreographed. A few extra weeks couldn’t hurt, right? And nor could a scolding from Yakov. As recklessly as the first time, Victor booked a return ticket for the nineteenth of July, and then for the fifth of August.

Victor couldn’t wait to see the look of sheer happiness on Yuuri’s angelic face. This man meant the world to him.
———————————————————
Yuuri was sat on the windowsill, a blanket wrapped around him as he stared up at the starry sky. Phichit stepped out of his room, Yuuri catching his sight.

“What’s up?” Phichit asked, approaching Yuuri and sitting on the other end of the windowsill.

“Huh?” Yuuri looked up and questioned. “Sorry I wasn’t listening.” He confessed with a sigh.

“I asked you what’s up.” Phichit repeated himself.

“Oh. Nothing, I guess.” Yuuri leaned his head on the cold glass, his warm breath fogging up the glass.

“You can tell me, you know. If you’re not okay.” Phichit reassured. “I know I’m not quite Victor, but ya know, just in case.” Phichit smiled, but the way Yuuri frowned just a bit more at the mention of Victor’s name didn’t slip his sight.

“Is It Victor?” Phichit asked after a moment of silence. Yuuri nodded.

“I just miss him, I guess.” Yuuri took a breath, the window misting up slightly before turning clear again. “I know he’s been really busy lately, so I don’t want to phone and pester him by being too… needy. I don’t want to seem too clingy or something like that.” Yuuri sighed. “”I mean, we normally text every day and call every couple of days but it’s just not the same as hearing him next to me.”

“I’d love to hear his voice before I sleep at night, I’d love to hear his voice when I wake up. I want to hold his hand wherever I go. But I suppose shit just happens.” Yuuri mumbled. He could feel tears building in his eyes, his throat going a little dry as it closed up a little.

“I’m sure he doesn’t mind if you phone a little more often, or if you text a bit more. I think he’ll appreciate it. Talk to him about it, if you’re feeling lonely. I’m sure he’ll be glad to know you miss him.” Phichit said.

“I just don’t want to be a bother… sometimes I remember that he’s… he’s this big celebrity image, someone who could have anyone but… I’m just me. I’m just a dime-a-dozen dancer and I guess I just wonder what it is he sees in me that I don’t.” Oh no, Yuuri’s insecurities are back.

“Sometimes I wonder out of everyone he could have chosen why would he choose me? What is it that draws him to me? Because I can’t help but think that one day he’ll leave me and I’ll just be that easy to replace and all those nasty comments about me under Victor’s posts could just become true.” Yuuri’s voice cracked as he squeezed the corners of his blanket in his hands.

“I just feel like maybe if I knew why he loved me and what it was about me that he loved maybe… sorry. Sorry for rambling.” Yuuri buried his face in his knees.

“Ask him.” Phichit suggested. Yuuri’s head shot up. “You’ll never know what it is he loves about you if you don’t ask.” Yuuri nodded and hesitantly pulled out his phone.

To: Vitya <3
What is it you love about me…?

Chapter Text

Yuuri’s phone rang immediately. Hesitantly, he answered it.

“V-Vitya?” Yuuri’s trembling voice answered.

“I’ll let you go.” Phichit mouthed, and Yuuri smiled.

“I love your quiet voice. It’s so warm and soothing. It helps me sleep, and it relaxes my heart.” Victor started. “I love your soft personality. You’re so warm hearted, you always try your best. I love those beautiful honey eyes. When something is on your mind, your pupils dilate, and your eyes glaze over and they really shine. I love your button nose. When I kiss it, it scrunches slightly, and you make this adorable face you’re not even aware of.” Victor took a deep breath.

“I love your hair. It’s so soft. I love it in the mornings when I wake up and I run my hand through your soft hair. I love the way you smell. You remind me of apples, cinnamon, and honey. I love waking up with my nose to your neck, inhaling your sweet smell. I love your hands. They’re so soft, just a little smaller than my own, and love feeling the palm of your hand against mine. Even now, I can feel your hand resting against mine, smooth and small. I love your feet. Even though it sounds weird, the callouses from your ballet shoes, the blisters and bruises are all a sign of how hard you work. How determined you are. Even when you let your own doubts cloud your head, nothing ever stops you being your best.” Tears were flowing down Yuuri’s cheeks as he sniffled.

“Would you like me to carry on?” Victor’s voice was tender.

“Mm.” Yuuri hummed in desperate approval, nodding his head as he stared out at the dark night sky as the stars twinkled.

“It’s not just you that fascinates me, it’s the way you dance, the way you express yourself, the way you treat others. I love the way your body bends when you dance. The way your feet pivot and your arms lift. When you want to say something, you can’t always use your words, and that’s what makes your dancing all that more meaningful to me.”

“I will never stop loving you, Yuuri. You are the one for me. You are the one I want to marry, to buy a house with, to adopt a child with. It’s only you, and it will only be you.” Yuuri bursted into tears.

“I love you so much…” Yuuri squeaked.

“And I love you too, beautiful. You wanna tell me what’s up?” Victor asked softly, giving Yuuri a moment to just pull himself together first.

“I just… I really miss you… I know you’re busy so I try not text or phone too much because I don’t want to bother you and I don’t want to seem too clingy or needy and then I started thinking about what if one day you decided you didn’t want me anymore and what if one day you just replaced me and…” Yuuri’s lips pursed.

“Sorry… I know I shouldn’t think like that but sometimes I just can’t help but remember that you’re the Victor Nikiforov… the man everyone lusts for and you could have anyone. I’m sorry…” Yuuri sighed with a trembling breath.

“My beautiful Yuuri. I could have anyone in the world. I could have anyone I wanted. I could have the next best actress, I could have the next best singer… but I don’t want any of them. I don’t want any of them because they aren’t you. They will never compare to you. They will never be you.” Victor said. “Thank you for telling me. Even though I’m busy nowadays, I love it when you phone or text. Yakov scolds me for being on my phone on the ice but I always tell him the love of my life is on the other end for me.” Victor chuckled.

“I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone else before. I’ll scream it from the top of the world if I have to.” Victor’s voice soothed Yuuri’s racing heart.

“Thank you for… for putting up with me. For putting up with my insecurities and my low self esteem and my doubts and—“

“That’s what love is, Yuuri. I’m here to kick those insecurities in the ass.” Yuuri laughed, his eyes lighting up as he relaxed, pressing his forehead to the windowsill.

“I feel better now.” Yuuri sighed, smiling to himself as one hand subconsciously pressed against his chest, just above where his heart lay.

“I’m glad. Now, I believe it’s quite late in the night?” Yuuri looked at his watch. “And I think you need your beauty sleep.”

“Yeah. It’s almost three and I have to be awake at ten.” Yuuri sighed. “Thanks for listening to me, Vitya.”

“Babe, I’m always here for you to speak to. Goodnight, Yuuri. Love you lots, kisses.” Victor said fondly. “Mwah.”

“Night, Vitya. I love you too. Kisses, mwah.” Yuuri cut the call and released a happy sigh. Slowly, he climbed off the windowsill.

“Feel better?” Phichit asked.

“Yeah. Thank you, Peach.”
———————————————————
A month later…

Yuuri was panicking. Really, really panicking. He couldn’t find his tie and he couldn’t find his hair gel and he could find his shoes and he needed—

Yuuri’s phone rang.
“V-Vitya! Can I phone you back I need to—“

“Good luck tomorrow, Yuuri. You’ll be amazing. I know you can do it.” Victor said tenderly, his voice calming Yuuri’s racing heart and shaking knees. “Don’t forget your speech lines!” Victor joked.

“T-Thank you… I’ll take pictures for you. And I’ll try not to forget my entire speech.” Yuuri chuckled, sounding much more relaxed than when he first picked up the phone.

“I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.” Victor chuckled. “You sound like you need the time!” He laughed.

“Thank you. I love you lots. Kisses.” Yuuri smiled.

“Love you lots too. Kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.”

Now Yuuri could go back to panicking.

“Phichit, have you seen my tie? The navy one with the stars?” Yuuri called as he continued to rummage through his drawers.

“I’ve got you covered Yuuri.” Phichit came in, playfully tying the tie around Yuuri’s forehead. Yuuri released a sigh of relief.

“You’re a life saver, Peach.” Yuuri stood back up, tugging him into a hug.

“You can thank me later.” Phichit smirked, patting Yuuri’s head.
———————————————————
Victor tapped his foot nervously, slipping his phone back into his pocket as he sat down in his seat, strapping in. What had only been a month, seemed to have felt like years, but finally, Victor would be able to hold Yuuri. The plane took off. In nine hours time Victor would be that much closer to holding his Yuuri.

Victor spent the nine hour flight thinking about Yuuri. Last time Victor made a surprise appearance, Yuuri had cried and told him never to give him that same heart attack again. Victor chuckled. This time it was going to be an even bigger heart attack, though, in hind sight, he wasn’t really sure if that was a good idea or not. Nevertheless, it was too late to have second thoughts now.

Restless hours passed and finally, Victor arrived arrived in Tokyo, completely shattered but exhausted.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Just landed! Will be checking into the hotel now.

From: Phichit Chulanont
Gotcha.
———————————————————
Yuuri’s main fear was tripping over his graduation gown and falling off the stage face first. With trembling fingers he slipped it over his head and fastened the pin to keep it in place before placing the hat on his head.

“Yuuri, are you ready?” Phichit asked, just as his phone chimed.

From: Victor Nikiforov
I’m here, but hiding out in the café until Yuuri. Keep him away please!!!!

To: Victor Nikiforov
Sure can do! Your seat is at the front, so just turn up and act normal HAHA I’m sat elsewhere so he doesn’t think I’m involved in this plot lmao

“Yeah!” Yuuri called from the changing booth as he stumbled out, almost tripping over his own feet. “How do I look?” Yuuri asked, turning to try to look at his back.

“Perfect.” Phichit smiled, snapping a photo. “High five!” He held up his hand. Yuuri, with a sigh and a smile, gave it a hard smack, a thwacking sound resonating through the air. “Let’s get you that graduation certificate.”

Phichit dragged an incredibly nervous Yuuri to the main building.
“I need to take my seat. Deep breaths, if you forget your speech, make it up. It’s only short, so you’ll be okay. I’ll be outside for the photographs!” Phichit grinned, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Thanks… I’d better be off.” Yuuri sighed releasing Phichit hand.

Phichit smiled as Yuuri turned away and made his way over to the other undergraduates, staring like a proud mother. Right, but now, he had to catch up with lover boy. Just at that moment, his phone chimed.

From: Victor Nikiforov
SHOULD I MAKE A DRAMATIC LATE GRAND ENTRANCE

To: Victor Nikiforov
Victor wtf can’t you be normal

From: Victor Nikiforov
What’s life if your boring?

To: Victor Nikiforov
You’re gonna get yourself kicked out for being so extra lmfao keep it normal you love stricken dork

From: Victor Nikiforov
:( okay T___T
———————————————————
Victor made his way to his seat, a huge bouquet of roses in his arms. His leg bounced nervously, his eyebrow furrowed as he took a deep breath, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

There was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around.

“Excuse me, are you Victor Nikiforov?” Dammit, sometimes he forgets he’s a celebrity of some sort.

“Yes, I am.” He flashed that charming smile, the one that wooed everyone, Yuuri included.

“May I get a picture with you?” She asked, already pulling her phone out.

“I’m actually here to surprise someone so… unfortunately not. I’m sorry.” Victor responded as politely as he could, watching her face fall. “If you catch me later though?” Victor asked, hoping to lift her spirits.

To Victor’s surprise, she shook her head.
“It’s okay, you’re here to support someone, so I won’t disrupt you.” She smiled wearily.

“Thank you.” Wow. The first fan Victor had ever come across that wasn’t rude or arrogant or insistent. What a rarity. Victor snorted quietly to himself at the thought.

A text came in;

From: Phichit Chulanont
Nikiforov you’d better not be doing anything stupidly extra—

To: Phichit Chulanont
Chillax I’m sat down (´;ω;`)

From: Phichit Chulanont
G o o d.
———————————————————
Yuuri felt sick. Just the feeling of being stood in front of so many people made his knees quiver, let alone having to present a small graduation speech. Cold shivers went down his spine as his heart rate rose. He nervously tapped his foot as he waited for his name to be called, completely oblivious to the fact that the man of his dreams was just rows behind him.

His palms began to sweat as the people To the left of him began to stand, moving towards the stage as they were called up one by one. Yuuri clenched his fists as his legs quivered, taking a deep breath.

“Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuuri’s shaking legs stood as he slowly walked to the end of the row of chairs, then down the aisle towards the steps to the stage. There were five people before him to speak. Yuuri’s eyes focussed on the carpet, the very interesting blue carpet. Five people became four, four people became three. Yuuri’s heart raced as he moved forward, more people joining behind him. Three people became two, and soon, there was just one person to go before him.

Yuuri swallowed a lump in his throat as he took a step up to the microphone stand. He looked up. A sharp inhale followed as his eyes widened.

Victor.

Chapter Text

Victor!

Yuuri couldn’t stop staring, his eyes fixated on those turquoise pearls. Victor flashed a beautiful, bright smile that had Yuuri frozen on the spot. Yuuri felt tears well in his eyes as that platinum hair shone and those baby blue gems gleamed.

Yuuri tried to get that speech out.
“I—“ he started, immediately forgetting the whole speech.

“Mr. Katsuki?”

Yuuri took a deep breath.
“I really struggled. Especially in the last year. My last year was so stressful, and I probably cried nightly about it.” He laughed, before continuing. “But what really got me through the year was one person, who has given me eternal love and support, who has given up time to keep me company when I needed it.” Yuuri’s mind scrambled, trying to piece together the rest of his speech.

“Towards the end of the year I really, well and truly, struggled to keep my head together. But this person was patient, and caring with me, and no matter how snappy I got, they just put up with it.” Yuuri chuckled. “When I felt like the world was against me, crashing down on me, this person stood beside me and fought the world for me. They would stay up all night with me, watching me write my dissertation and my final project. They stayed up with me even if it was four in the morning and needed to be up at six.” Yuuri sighed.

“This person gave me a heart attack, to be honest, surprising me at my graduation, flying nine hours just to be here for me today. They gave up a lot for me, and I can only hope I can do the same. Because of them, I am here today, actually graduating – who would have thought.” Yuuri smiled in Victor’s direction. “That person is right there.” Yuuri’s hand gestures towards a very prominent head of silver hair.

He took a deep breath.

Yuuri, who was stood on the stage, made a dash down the stairs and down the aisle towards Victor. Victor, who was on the end of the row, stood up, opening his arms in welcome. Yuuri jumped, his arms coming around Victor’s neck and legs wrapping around his waist.

“Vitya!” Yuuri’s tears fell, a wide smile covering his face as he buried his face Victor’s shoulder, warm hands running up and down his back.

“Hi, baby. Surprised?” Victor chuckled.

“Too.” Yuuri sighed happily, removing himself from Victor. “I graduated, are you proud of me?” Yuuri asked with a smile, clutching his certificate.

“Too.” Victor echoed. “Can I whisk you away now?” Victor asked.

“You can whisk me away any time.” Yuuri giggled, holding Victor’s hand.

“Good, because I’d like to take you to dinner after your grad photos.” Victor smiled, leading them out of the theatre through the side door. “I want one just with you.” Victor chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose.

“I believe you have some explaining to do over lunch.” Yuuri smirked, squeezing Victor’s hand tightly as they stepped into another building.

“I suppose I do, don’t I?” Victor chuckled as they waited patiently. Yuuri’s phone pinged at that moment.

From: Oka-san
Sorry we couldn’t see you graduate… send pictures :) congratulations, we miss you. Love, mom, dad, and Mari. <3

Yuuri smiled down at his phone.

“What’s got my love so happy?” Victor asked, smiling.

“Just a text from mom congratulating me. They said they’re sorry for not being able to come, but I should send them pictures.” Yuuri summed up the text, deciding to reply a little later.

“Is Phichit coming for photos?” Victor asked Yuuri, and Yuuri shook his head.

“Phichit has to work now, and he has to save his holidays for Thailand so I told him it was fine if he couldn’t make the photos.” Yuuri said, just sounding a little bit sad about that. “I suppose if you didn’t surprise me I wouldn’t have any photos at all.” Yuuri sighed again.

“Do you miss them?” Yuuri looked up at him. “Your family in Hasetsu.” Victor clarified.

“Oh, yeah, I do. Even though they’re only a train ride away I understand that they can’t just leave the inn to come over. It is a few hours train after all.” Yuuri frowned. That made Victor feel sad. It was one thing not having a family to go home to, but another to not be able to go home to your family. Maybe that should be Victor’s next surprise.
———————————————————
Yuuri stood in front of the blue cloudy backdrop, holding his graduation certificate.

“Okay, if you stand to the left at first and we’ll see how that looks?” The photographer moved Victor to the left of Yuuri, one hand on his shoulder. The photographer snapped a quick photo. A couple more pictures were taken, just in time for a figure to come running in.

“Sorry, Yuuri! I made it to your photos!” Phichit said, quickly tying his tie.

“Peach! I thought you had to work!” Yuuri smiled, his face immediately lighting up.

“Half way to work someone phoned to swap shifts with me.” Phichit panted, sorting himself out. “I got lucky. Oh, how do you like your surprise?” Phichit smirked.

They watched Yuuri’s face flick from confusion, to understanding, to sheer joy.
“Y-you two…” Yuuri gestured between them. “You… you planned this together?” Yuuri squeaked, his smile wide from ear to ear and water filled his eyes. “You guys!” Yuuri sniffled, and Victor pulled a tissue to wipe his eyes. “Thank you, Phichit.” Yuuri smiled through soft tears.

“Thank me later. Let’s get these pictures done!” Phichit stood the other side of Yuuri, the photographer must be so done with their shenanigans by now! He snapped a few more pictures, and then handed Yuuri a form.

“If you put your address and your photograph ticket number here, you should receive the photos in the mail within a few weeks.” The photographer said. “Enjoy the rest of your day.” He smiled.

“Thank you.”

“Now, I believe I need to kidnap you for lunch?” Victor said, grasping Yuuri’s hand.

“Yeah, I need to get out of this first.” Then Yuuri turned to Phichit. “Thank you so much, Phichit.” Yuuri tugged him into a hug.

“No problem dude. We’re best friends! I’ll leave you to go for dinner, I take it you’ll be going back to Victor’s hotel tonight for some… catch up?” Phichit smirked knowingly.

“P-Phichit!” Yuuri’s face turned ten shades red.

“Text me so I know you’re safe, alright? Congratulations, Yuuri!” Phichit snapped a quick selfie.

“Will do.”
———————————————————
“How does Thai food sound? Then we can have a bit of Phichit joining us for dinner too.” Victor joked.

“Thai food sounds great.” God, Yuuri couldn’t keep that angelic smile off his face. Seeing Victor again was just… magical. He’d grown so attached he felt like every time Victor left his heart tore in two. Yuuri was pulled from his thoughts upon approaching a quiet, nicely decorated Thai restaurant.

“Mmm… I’m thinking a Thai green curry. How about you?” Victor asked as they were seated. Yuuri opened the menu.

“Can we share one? Just because that’s a domestic couply thing to do.” Yuuri shyly said, looking down at the table as he twiddled his thumbs. Victor chuckled.

“Of course we can.”
———————————————————
Yuuri stared fondly at Victor instead of his food. Victor glanced up.
“What are you thinking about?” Victor asked, putting down his fork as he reached across the table to take Yuuri’s hand in his.

“You. Always you.” Yuuri responded with a soft smile, squeezing Victor’s hand tightly. Yuuri’s thumb ran over the knuckles of each of Victor’s fingers slowly, feeling the baby soft skin covering those warm digits.

“Oh? What about me specifically?” Victor asked, Yuuri’s hand soft and small in his own.

“Everything. Specifically about how much my heart breaks when you leave, and how you always take a piece of it with you home.” Yuuri said with a slightly bitter taste to it. “But also about how you… you complete my heart just that bit more every time I see your face.” Yuuri’s smile was heartwarming and beautiful, filling Victor’s heart with warm, fluttery feelings.

“I hate to be the one who breaks your heart like that. I wish I didn’t do so.” Victor sighed, furrowing his brows. Yuuri lifted his free hand, his thumb gently smoothing out the creases of Victor’s eyebrows.

“Don’t forget you make me fall so much more in love too.” Yuuri chuckled.

Chapter Text

Yuuri had only just stepped out of the shower when he felt Victor’s hands on his shoulders. With a soft push, Yuuri’s back fell backwards onto the soft hotel sheets as Victor’s lips attacked his own.

“I’ve missed you so, so much over the last month and a half.” Victor sighed against Yuuri’s soft plump lips, gently nibbling before kissing them again.

“Mnghh…” Yuuri groaned into the kiss. “I… I missed you too…” Yuuri panted between Victor’s delicate kisses. “Been too long.” He mumbled as he pushed his knee between Victor’s legs, feeling the sizeable bulge in his pants. “I need you.” Yuuri said clearly as he pulled away from Victor’s lips.

“Then… let me give you everything.” Victor kissed the tip of his nose as his hands came to Yuuri’s shirt buttons, undoing them one by one. Yuuri’s delicate hands trembled as they undid each of Victor’s own shirt buttons, making their way down his toned chest.

“You’re so beautiful, Yuuri. The love of my life.” Victor sighed, kissing Yuuri’s forehead, down to his cheeks and his nose. “I’ve missed touching you so much,” - a kiss to Yuuri’s jaw and down. “I’ve missed your warmth when we cuddle at night,” – kisses were planted down the column of Yuuri’s neck as his neck craned, exposing more of his gorgeous neck for Victor’s lips. “I’ve missed holding your hand,” – kisses went across Yuuri’s collarbones, and Victor sucked gently, leaving soft purple marks in their wake. “But most importantly, I’ve missed the way you sound when you tell me you love me, the way you blush when I tell you I love you.” Yuuri was almost crying due to Victor’s ramblings.

“V-Vitya…” Yuuri shivered as Victor’s lips left soft bruises, his breath hitching as his hands flew up to the pillow his head was on. “I… I love you…” Yuuri said through pants and gritted teeth as Victor’s tongue circled his nipples, pink and peaked.

“That’s the voice I miss the most.” Victor whispered, licking the nipple again. “I love you too, baby.” Victor’s tongue flicked over Yuuri’s sensitive bud once more as Yuuri whimpered. Victor’s lips played with Yuuri’s nipple, his tongue coating the nub in a think coat of saliva. It glistened as Victor gave one last duck and pulled off.

Victor continued to work his way down Yuuri’s chest and abdomen, right down to his navel.
“May I?” Victor asked, words mumbled against the soft skin of Yuuri’s stomach. Yuuri nodded.

“Yes.” Victor, with a smile, fumbled to undo Yuuri’s trousers, sliding the zipper down. Yuuri flinched a little under his touch, but quickly relaxed. Victor tugged Yuuri’s trousers down his hips, exposing a prominent tent in Yuuri’s boxers, a small wet spot already forming on the surface.

“How does slow and gentle sound?” Victor asked, his hands touching all over Yuuri’s hips and thighs, making Yuuri shiver under the softness of his fingertips.

“P-perfect…” Yuuri said with a soft smile, his hand reaching for the back of Victor’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. As Victor moved to reach the carefully placed lube from under the pillow, Yuuri’s small hands moved to undo Victor’s own trousers, his hands lingering just a little bit longer than they need to. Victor shimmied his hips, pulling the trousers down the rest of the way.

Victor moved back between Yuuri’s thighs, pushing them apart just a bit more. His fingertips traced the pale stretch marks and the divets of his muscle before his lips moved to press soft kisses down from Yuuri’s knee to where his arousal lay confined against his stomach. Slowly, he slid Yuuri’s boxers down his smooth, toned thighs and the rest of the way down his legs.

Yuuri whimpered as the cold brushed against his sensitive erection, causing his breath to hitch just a little bit.

“If only you could see what I see right now,” Victor smiled, leaning up to kiss his lips. “You would see a handsome face,” Victor pressed a smooch to his nose. “A beautiful body,” Victor pressed another kiss to his cheek and Yuuri closed his eyes, letting himself relax into Victor. “And a heart made of glass, sensitive, yet caring.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s neck.

Yuuri smiled.
“I know I don’t see what you see,” he wrapped his arms around Victor’s neck. “But I do see the most adorable, dorky smile,” he kissed Victor’s forehead. “And a heart of gold.” Yuuri brushed his nose against Victor’s, feeling the cold tip brush just above the tip of his own button nose. “It’s like you’re my own gold medal – my pride and joy.” Yuuri chuckled, opening his eyes just to see Victor stunned speechless.

“Yuuri! You’re too cute!” He attacked Yuuri’s cheeks with soft, butterfly kisses as he felt Yuuri’s hands move from his neck down his back. Yuuri smirked a little.

“Am I? Tell me again.” Yuuri cheekily demanded.

“You’re too cute.” Victor smiled, repeating himself.

“Again.”

“You’re too cute.”

“Again.”

“You’re the most amazing and adorable and extraordinary being to ever step foot into my life and I never ever ever want to let you go.” Victor said with a grin as he watched Yuuri’s smirk fall and a blush crawl up his face. Yuuri quickly shoved his face into Victor’s shoulder.

“Show me how much you love me.” Yuuri said, nuzzling into Victor’s neck.

“My pleasure.”

Victor ran his hands up and down Yuuri’s thighs before popping the cap of the lube open. He squeezed a generous amount onto the tips of his fingers before using his clean hand to lift one of Yuuri’s legs onto his shoulder. He pressed the first finger in.

Yuuri’s breath hitched as he tightened around the intrusion before forcing his body to relax.
“Ahh…” He breathed, squeezing the pillow between his fingers.

“Are you okay?” Victor asked as he slowly worked the rest of his finger in.

“Yeah… it’s good…” Yuuri sighed contently. Victor began to move his finger, sliding it almost completely out before pushing it back in. After a few thrusts, he slipped in a second, then a third.

Victor slipped his fingers out and Yuuri watched intently as he tugged down those tight fitting hip-huggers. Yuuri accidentally released a groan as Victor’s arousal surfaced, and Victor smirked.

“Like what you see?” Victor smiled, leaning up to capture Yuuri’s lips in a kiss.

“I’ve missed it…” Yuuri mumbled behind hands with a bright red set of cheeks. Slowly, Yuuri spread his legs a little bit further apart, exposing the beautiful pink hole, winking and shining, just waiting to be filled.

“Tell me if it hurts.” Victor lifted yuuri’s leg again, returning it to its resting spot on his shoulder. He opened up the lube again and coated his thick girth in the strawberry scented fluid before lining the tip up with Yuuri’s hole.

“Take a deep breath.” Victor suggested, and Yuuri did, inhaling deeply and holding the air in his lungs. With one hard push, Yuuri felt the tip stretch his tight entrance, entering with a sharp pop.

“Nngh!” Yuuri moaned, releasing the air from his lungs as he took deep breaths. “K-keep going…” Yuuri requested sounding grumbly as he pushed his hips back into Victor’s length.

“Impatient aren’t we. We have all night baby.” Victor chuckled, amused at Yuuri’s eagerness. Regardless, Victor pushed in, and in one deep thrust, Victor’s length was completely in.

“Ahh! Oooh… oh god… ahhhhhhhh…” Yuuri moaned as one hand subconsciously came to rest on his stomach, idly stroking as he felt Victor’s length in him. “God, it’s deep… big…” he groaned, followed by a series of moans.

“You have a dirty mouth in bed, don’t you, my Yuuri.” Victor teased as he pulled back, thrusting in again. Yuuri blushed at Victor’s teasing.

“D-don’t laugh at me…” Yuuri pouted, sticking his bottom lip out as his brow furrowed. Victor removed Yuuri’s leg from his shoulder and reached down, lifting Yuuri up to press their chests together. Yuuri’s legs clutched Victor’s waist.

The new position forced Victor’s tip right against that spot just under Yuuri’s navel that he knew he loved.
“Nnahh!!! Ahh! V-Vitya!!!” Yuuri’s breath hitched as his legs together around Victor’s waist and his hole clenched around Victor.

Yuuri’s nails scratched down Victor’s back as he moaned at the feeling of Victor hitting his sweet spot.
“V-Vitya… gonna… gonna come…” Yuuri’s breath hitched.

“Me too… Yuuri… god…” Victor’s forehead hit Yuuri’s shoulder as his breathing became ragged, thrusts becoming uneven. Yuuri began to rock his hips faster against Victor’s before he came with a loud “Vitya,” on his lips. He squeezed, and Victor bit his lip as he released inside Yuuri, warm and wet.

“God I love you…” Victor panted as Yuuri whimpered, sensitive and hot.

“Love you… too…” Yuuri fell forwards against Victor’s chest, closing his eyes.
———————————————————
Yuuri woke up, his forehead pressed against Victor’s beating heart. Smiling to himself, he inhaled deeply, pressing a soft kiss to his heart.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Victor teased, his fingers brushing through Yuuri’s hair.

“Morning… Yuuri replied sleepily. “Kiss,” he demanded, tilting his head up.

“Yes, my darling.” Victor chuckled, capturing Yuuri’s soft lips with his own. Victor smiled into the kiss before pulling away, remembering something.

“Before I forget, I bought you a graduation present—“ Victor leaned over the edge of the bed to pull his jacket up from the floor. From the pocket, he carefully pulled out a black, velvet box. “This is for you.” He opened the box and pulled the ring out. Yuuri couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful platinum band.

“For me?”

“Pass me your right hand.” Yuuri slowly presented his right hand, waiting in anticipation for Victor to slip the ring on. “A promise ring, if you will, for my beautiful Yuuri. I got myself one too.” Victor’s forehead gently tapped Yuuri’s as he smiled. Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears falling.

“Can I put yours on?” Victor nodded and plucked the second ring from the box, handing it to Yuuri. Yuuri’s shaky fingers took the ring in one hand, and Victor’s hand in the other. His cold fingertips touched Victor’s warmth as he slid the ring to the base of his finger.

“They’re beautiful.” Yuuri marvelled at the cold metal gradually warming from his finger.

“Perfectly complimentary to you, my love.”

Chapter Text

Five Months Later…

Tokyo’s December air was frosty – warm breath condensed in seconds, toes frostbitten in minutes.

Yuuri cling to Victor’s side as they headed out for dinner. It was the week of Victor’s birthday, and their first Christmas together. Victor’s stay was short, only two weeks and Yuuri was absolutely determined to spend every minute with Victor, not only to properly fulfil those two weeks, but to make up for lost time over Yuuri’s birthday.

Yuuri spent his birthday very much alone, Victor, off in Canada for Skate Canada. They’d spent hours on the phone that night, Victor apologising for not being there, Yuuri congratulating his gold medal.
To Yuuri it didn’t matter that Victor couldn’t be back for his birthday. After all, Victor had surprised him so many more times than Yuuri could even begin to thank.

“What do you want for dinner, Vitya? My treat to you.” Yuuri smiled lovingly as they walked hand in hand.

“My Yuuri is so sweet! Shall we go for something simple? Traditional maybe? Surprise me.” Yuuri thought for a moment.

“Sushi and ramen? It’s been a while since I last had sushi.” Yuuri suggested.

“Sounds great.”
———————————————————
They were part way through their meals when something, or rather someone, caught Yuuri’s eye. He immediately stopped talking, his jaw freezing as his hands trembled.

“Yuuri? Are you okay?” Victor asked, noticing the sudden change him aura. A figure approached their table. As the figure came closer Yuuri could feel food coming back up his throat.

“What do you want?” Yuuri mumbled, the mood suddenly turning sour as Ryan stood at the foot of the table looking particularly sadistic.

“You never let me speak. So now I’m forcing you to listen.” Ryan spoke through gritted teeth. Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand, thinking of how to get out of this situation.

“I have no reason to listen to you.” Yuuri said quietly, obviously uncomfortable with the situation. Victor could feel Yuuri’s hands begin to sweat, squeezing a bit harder.

“You left me when I was the only person who ever loved you.” Ryan began. “I still am the only person who will ever love you. This man? You think he could love someone like you?” Ryan laughed. “You’re pathetic. No one will ever love you.” Yuuri, took a deep breath, his bottom lip beginning to quake as everything Ryan said began flicking switches in his head.

Yuuri opened his mouth, yet no words came out.
“See, you’re not even denying it.” He snorted. Yuuri bit the inside of his cheek, determined not to cry.

Victor was quickly panicking about what he should do, when of course, the obvious thing to do was to speak up.
“That’s enough. You’ve said enough now.” Victor gritted his teeth. “You hurt Yuuri more than I could ever fix for him. I never want to see you again. Leave.” Victor’s voice was stern – this was the first time Yuuri had ever heard Victor get angry.

“No. He deserved it. He was cheating on me with that Thai boy.” Ryan’s voice was increasing in volume, heads around the restaurant turning to them.

“Stay away from us.”

Ryan snorted.
“I can’t believe you even think anyone could ever love anyone as difficult as you. Whiny, clingy, but a whore.” That one struck Yuuri, he physically jolted. It hurt – it made Yuuri think Victor might have this tainted idea of Yuuri, this flighty cheater sort of image when in reality, Yuuri just was not.

“That’s enough, you need to leave.” Victor raised his voice.

“You should be on your knees begging for my forgiveness, using that whore mouth for better things.” Yuuri’s heart was squeezing. Repressed memories of when Ryan violated him began to surface, flooding his head as he squeezed Victor’s hand harder, digging his nails into his hand and breaking the skin. Yuuri’s skin began to itch, his fingers coming to his arms to scratch.

Victor finally stood up.
“If you aren’t leaving then we will.” At that moment, a waiter came over.

“Sir, we’re going to have to ask you to leave.” The voice was deep and firm.

“No! He needs to be taught a lesson. No one will ever truly love someone like you.” Yuuri trembled, shaking as his lower lip quivered. He was on the verge of tears.
Finally, Ryan was dragged away.

“Yuu—“

“I feel sick.” Yuuri mumbled, releasing Victor’s hand before dashing off to the toilet. Victor quickly chased him but Yuuri had already locked himself in a bathroom stall.

“Baby?” Victor knocked on the door. “Please open the door…” Victor pleaded, but Yuuri just cried. He released choked sobs, sniffling as tears spilled down his cheeks. “It pains me to see you like this…” Victor said quietly, his heart squeezing.

“I… I can’t…” Yuuri squeezed out through tears and deep breaths.

“Why not? Let me in, please?” Victor heard Yuuri swallow as more tears streamed down his cheeks.

“I don’t want you to see me any differently…” Yuuri squeaked, choking on his tears.

“Beautiful, you know that no matter what I were to find out about you I would love you all the same.” Victor smiled, trying to get Yuuri to open the door. “I know what Ryan said about you isn’t true. I know that you’re not all those things he called you. I know that. Please open the door.” Yuuri was still sobbing, tears now staining his face and running down his neck.

“I’m sorry…” Yuuri’s voice was trembling as he spoke, his fists clenched tightly. Yuuri’s head was pounding. Was he so difficult? Really? Did Ryan despise him so much? Maybe he was right. Maybe Victor would just leave. What if Victor changed how he felt about Yuuri after this? Had Yuuri been so blind over the past nine months? What if this was a huge joke to Victor? What if—

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” That was when Yuuri knew that everything Ryan said was a lie. Someone did love him. And that someone was less than a foot away on the other side of the door. He just had to open it. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love y—“ Yuuri unlocked the door and immediately fell straight onto Victor, his fists clenching so hard onto Victor’s back as he buried his face in Victor’s shoulder, sobbing.

“I’ve got you, baby. You’re alright now.” Victor reassured, hushing in his ear as one hand carded through his soft hair and the other ran up and down his back.

“I’m not a whore Victor I promise I never was…” Yuuri’s voice was weak and vulnerable, quaking in fear with every word. “I’m not I’m not!” Yuuri cried into Victor’s shoulder, squeezing so tightly into Victor.

“I know, beautiful. I know. Even if you used to be I wouldn’t care. What matters is that you’re here in my arms now.” Victor kissed his cheek, slowly sliding down the frame of the bathroom door, Yuuri following. Victor cradled Yuuri for what felt like hours.

“I’m sorry I ruined our date…” Yuuri quietly mumbled. “I’m sorry Vitya…” Yuuri apologised.

“It’s not your fault darling. I’m sorry I failed to stick up for you.” Victor really felt bad. All that time he spent wondering what to say when really, he should have just screamed at Ryan to piss off.

“Nothing he said about you is true, don’t ever forget that. I love you, beautiful.” Victor kissed him again.

“A-are you sure?” Yuuri was so insecure at the moment. “If you don’t it’s not too late to say so now and I’ll just forget this ever happened and move on and you can go back home and—“ Victor silenced him with a kiss.

“I love you, Katsuki Yuuri. Only you. Always you.” Victor declared.

“I… I love you too.” Yuuri sighed contently, tucking his face further into Victor’s neck.

Chapter Text

Yuuri stared at the bedside clock at it struck midnight. Turning in Victor’s arms, Yuuri pressed a kiss to his nose.
“Happy Birthday, Vitya. When we wake up later, I have a present for you.” Yuuri smiled, both hands coming to cup Victor’s cheeks.

“Merry Christmas, Yuuri. Sorry I couldn’t prepare anything for you on short notice.” Victor sighed sadly, but Yuuri just kissed him.

“You’re the best Christmas gift I could have ever received.” Victor, stunned to silence, felt heat rising to his cheeks, his face turning a burning shade of red. Immediately, he pressed his face to Yuuri’s chest.

“You’re too sweet!” Victor laughed, muffled by Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri chuckled.

“Go to sleep, Vitya.”
———————————————————
The next morning Victor awoke to Yuuri clinging to his waist, arms pulling him tight and legs tangled around his own, smiling, Victor took a sneaky selfie with his sleeping beauty, pressing his lips to his temple.

The picture showed Victor pressing a kiss to Yuuri’s temple, blankets pulled right up to their necks as Yuuri’s face stayed hidden beneath the sheets. Victor debated on posting it on Instagram, but decided against it, wanting to at least wait for Yuuri to wake up first.

Victor spent a good half an hour just playing with Yuuri’s hair and twisting the soft locks between his fingers. Then, he heard a soft grumble. Yuuri began to wake up.

“Morning, gorgeous.” He smiled, pecking his forehead.

“Morning… how long have you been awake? You should have woken me up.” Yuuri smiled, kissing him back.

“Only about half an hour, so not long.” Victor thought about bringing up the photo. “Hey Yuuri?”

“Mm?”

“I took this photo,” Victor reached for his phone and unlocked it, pulling up the photo he’d taken earlier in the morning. “And I was wondering if it was okay to post it?” Yuuri’s smile softened.

“Of course it’s okay, you don’t need to ask – it’s just a cute picture after all.” Yuuri said with a smile, squeezing Victor a little.

“I just thought it’d be best to ask because obviously you were asleep and I didn’t wanna do anything without your consent.” Victor said, sighing in relief.

“You’re too sweet.”

@v-nikiforov; Happy Birthday to me♡ @y-katsuki makes me the happiest man alive. Love you, sweetie ♡

Yuuri reached for his phone across the bed.

@y-katsuki; v-nikiforov Happy Birthday my handsome superstar figure skater ♡ you deserve only the best. Will take you out for dinner later ♡

@v-nikiforov; Aww how sweet of you! I look forward to it ♡ also you could have just told me we’re right next to each other haha!

@y-katsuki; I’ll tell you now then <3

@christophe-giacometti; look at these two cuties omfg @v-nikiforov you have to introduce me one day!

@phichit+chu; @v-nikiforov @y-katsuki have fun and stay safe! Happy birthday and merry Christmas y’all, text when you’ll be back :)

“I’ll take you for dinner later, something a little bit different that I think you’ll like.” Yuuri smiled, watching Victor’s face of surprise.

“Oh? Where are you taking me?” Victor asked, the corner of his lip turning up slightly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever taken you for traditional street food before, have I?”

“Oh! Sounds good! I can’t wait.” Victor said, nuzzling his nose into the crown of Yuuri’s hair. “Merry Christmas, my sweet. I’m so happy to be spending it with you.”

“You know, we could have spent it together last year if you asked.” Yuuri chuckled. “I wouldn’t have said no.” He teased.

“How was I meant to know you were interested in me!” Victor protested with a soft pout, pushing his bottom lip out playfully.

“Well after getting to know you I’d have thought you’d have asked me out in the most extra extravagant way so I just thought you weren’t interested in me!” Yuuri defended before smiling, kissing Victor’s pouting lips.

“I guess we were both idiots.” Victor chuckled, nudging his nose against Yuuri’s.

“We still are, the only difference is we’re each other’s idiots.” Yuuri giggled, nuzzling up to Victor’s chest as he let out a soft sigh.

“Right you are.” Victor agreed. “This is the most relaxed I’ve been in three months.” Victor released a heavy sigh, almost cutting the thick tension in his life at the moment.

“You’ve worked hard, you deserve to feel relaxed.” Yuuri smiled, his hand coming up to gently cup Victor’s cheek. Victor nuzzled back against Yuuri’s hand, his own coming up to take Yuuri’s hand in his own, giving the soft fingers a gentle squeeze.

“Mmm I wish I could cuddle you all the time. It’s back to my busy life in three days time.” Victor sighed again, his brow creasing in the middle. Yuuri’s soft thumb came up to smooth out the crease. Yuuri could see something was on Victor’s mind by the way his eyes turned glassy, almost like a thin coat of tears covered them, reflecting the light shining through the curtains.

After a moments of silence, Yuuri asked.
“What’s on your mind, Vitya?”

“You. Always you.” Yuuri chuckled, amused by the response very similar to what he himself would have said.

“Really? What about me?” Yuuri asked, an echo of what Victor would have said to him.

“I don’t know… I just feel like… like I’m not supporting you enough. I’m supposed to be here for you all the time but I’m not and it sucks. I should have been here when you went into hospital, but I wasn’t. I should have been here when you were taking your exams but I wasn’t. I just worry about you constantly because I’m not here to keep you safe.” Victor sighed deeply, tucking his face into Yuuri’s neck. Wow – this was the first time Yuuri had seen Victor look so vulnerable. It was the first time Victor had voiced his insecurities.

“I’m not really sure what to say because it’s normally you comforting me.” Yuuri chuckled before continuing. “But I can tell you now that you do way more than enough to support me. The two of us are obviously in no shape to be able to constantly support each other yet but you especially try your best. You visit as often as possible, you text and phone every day, you’re honestly the most supportive person in my life.” Yuuri’s smile was tender, comforting. There were a lot of firsts today, one of them being the first time Victor felt… almost like a motherly comfort.

“If anything, I feel like I’m not fully supporting you. I’ve never been able to visit you, I’ve not watched you compete like you watched me dance. Sometimes I wonder if one day you’ll get tired of me. Because I’m not doing enough. Sometimes I feel really on edge – am I supporting you? Could I do more to be there for you like you are for me. And I only realised today that you think the same things, only… you do support me the best you can, and that you have watched me dance, and you have comforted me. But I’ve not been able to do any of that for you.” Yuuri’s sigh was sad. Victor never realised he felt like that and not once had Victor ever thought any of that about Yuuri.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is I know how you feel, because I’m the same. The only difference is you’ve done more than enough for me but I haven’t for you. I just want to be able to change that.” Yuuri’s fingers ran through the soft locks of Victor’s hair, twisting softly.

Victor shifted, leaning against Yuuri’s chest so his ear pressed to his heart, listening to the quiet lub-dub of his heart.

“I understand that you can’t support me in the same way. You have a job, a life here, you have rent to pay and dance classes to attend. You can’t just drop everything for a few weeks and I understand that. But I can. I don’t have rent to pay, my income comes from sponsors, I don’t have dance classes to attend and I do what I like when I like. I should be coming over more, seeing you more, but I don’t. I guess I just have this feeling of guilt inside that just festers.” Victor’s cheeks were suddenly warmed by two soft hands cupping his face, gently guiding his face up to Yuuri’s.

“I would never ever expect you to give me something I can’t give to you. I can’t give you what you’re giving me now. You do way more than enough for me considering what I give you in return. Like I said before neither of us are in the position to be there twenty-four seven for each other, so don’t dwell on it. I love everything about you.” Yuuri saw water creep up to Victor’s eyes, threatening to fall down his face. Yuuri got there first, kissing them away with soft smooches.

“I’m sorry.” Victor squeaked.

“How long has this been on your mind?” Yuuri asked, brushing soft pieces of hair out of Victor’s face.

“Since you found out you were anaemic.” Victor admitted.

“I’m glad you told me. But do you see what I’m saying? I don’t care that you can’t always be here. It doesn’t matter to me because even if you can’t be here physically I know you will always support me. Do you see? Yes, it’s sad that we live a continent away, and that we can’t kiss and hug like everyone else, yes, it sucks. But one day we’ll get there. We’ll get there and that’s why it doesn’t matter at the moment.” Yuuri kissed Victor’s soft lips, smiling at the soft cherry flavour coating them. “Soon it’ll be just us in our world.”

“Thank you.” Victor smiled, nudging the tip of his nose against Yuuri’s.

“Only doing for you what you would have done for me.” Yuuri pressed soft kisses across Victor’s cheeks and face until Victor pulled the biggest smile.

“I love your smile.” Yuuri said, watching Victor’s face light up.

“You’re feeling extra sappy and fluffy today, Yuuri.” Victor teased, softly pinching Yuuri’s nose.

“You were feeling bad, on your birthday nonetheless, of course I had to be extra sappy.” Yuuri laughed, tucking some hair behind Victor’s ear.

“You’re the cutest, Yuuri.”
———————————————————
“Oh! Takoyaki!” Yuuri pointed to a small stand with a decently sized queue.

“What’s that?” Victor asked, following Yuuri’s lead as they held hands.

“Octopus balls! They’re soft and have this sauce and— Vitya!” Victor was howling, collapsing over himself with laughter. Yuuri’s cheeks turned pink and the childish joke – of course Victor would think of that. Then Victor composed himself and stood up, gently guiding Yuuri’s chin up, their faces close.

“Do they taste better than my balls, Yuuri?” He said, almost erotically if it hadn’t have been for that terrible reference to the takoyaki. Victor pulled away and started creasing again, keeling over as Yuuri playfully hit him. “Ow!”

“Is the sauce salty?” Victor couldn’t not ask, his childish mind coming to the surface. But Yuuri smiled inside – seeing Victor be able to laugh and relax and act like a person for once, instead of putting up this celebrity façade with fake smiles was one of the most relieving sights ever.

“Come on you big child, you’re lucky you didn’t choke or something.” Yuuri chuckled, dragging Victor to the end of the queue.

A few minutes later Victor said, “You never answered my question.”

“Which one?”

“Do they taste better than my balls?” Immediately Yuuri turned bright red, his soul leaving his body. After a few moments of embarrassment, he hit Victor’s arm again with a pout.

Chapter Text

“I love you, cupcake.”Victor whispered as Yuuri sobbed.

“I love you too, Vitya.” Yuuri’s face was tucked into the crook of Victor’s neck, his arms tangled around his waist, praying he didn’t have to let go.
He felt a comforting hand on the back of his head, gently playing with the soft locks of black hair. Tears soaked the shoulder of Victor’s jacket as Yuuri took a deep, shaky breath, just indulging himself in Victor’s scent.

“I’ll be back again after the season ends. Just three months, my sweet.” Victor pressed soft kisses to the top of Yuuri’s head, his nose just brushing the thick hairs. Three months was the longest they’d ever been apart for. Yuuri was already missing him – he had no idea how on Earth he was going to survive without Victor.

Yuuri pulled away and Victor’s two palms came up to Yuuri’s cheeks, guiding his face up to his own. Victor’s forehead gently touched Yuuri’s, their noses brushing briefly.

“You know I love you to the stars and back.” Victor’s soft words filled Yuuri’s heart, and again, the tears beginning to fall once more. It hurt Victor to see Yuuri crying. Carefully, Victor pressed butterfly kisses to Yuuri’s eyes, swiping the tears away.

Victor pushed his lips against Yuuri’s, feeling the softness of those plush lips, plump and pink. He lost himself in the taste of his cherry lip balm, pulling Yuuri close against him once more.

Yuuri pressed his face against Victor’s chest, inhaling the scent of expensive cologne, yet the smell of Victor’s berry scented wash seeped through still. Yuuri never wanted to let this man go. He just wanted to hold on, tug him back into a taxi and never let him leave. But that would be selfish. That would be selfish, wouldn’t it?

“You’ll be safe, right?”

“Of course, I’ll text when I’m home.” Victor smiled, lacing his fingers with Yuuri’s.

“You’ll text everyday?”

“Don’t I always?”

“You’ll call when you can?”

“Only to hear your voice, my sweet.”

“I love you.” Yuuri mumbled into Victor’s chest, indulging in Victor’s warmth. “I’m gonna miss you so much.” Victor’s heart beat against his ear, the gentle “lub-dub” against his ear and entraining in his head.

“I love you too, my sweet. You’ll be on my mind always.” Victor kissed the crown of Yuuri’s hair again, his fingers playing with the hairs at the base of Yuuri’s neck. “My beautiful Yuuri. You’ll let me know, right? If you get in.” Victor asked, pulling away from Yuuri slightly.

Yuuri nodded.
“You’ll be the first to know, I promise.” Yuuri sighed. Damn, Yuuri just wanted to know now. He didn’t think he could wait any longer. Yuuri wanted to sleep with Victor, to shower with Victor, to hold hands with Victor.
“Kiss.” Yuuri demanded, pushing his lips out.

“Always for you.” Victor chuckled, pressing his lips against Yuuri’s, smiling into the kiss. His arms looked around Yuuri’s waist once more, his hands squeezing softly.

“I have to leave now.” Victor sighed sadly, releasing Yuuri’s waist to grab his hands. Yuuri nodded, his forehead gently touching against Victor’s chest. “I love you, beautiful.” Victor said, giving Yuuri one last kiss on the forehead.

“I love you too, Vitya.” Victor’s hands slowly slid from Yuuri’s palms, the warmth leaving along with tiny fragments of Yuuri’s glass heart. As Victor’s hands slipped further and further away from Yuuri’s grasp, he felt the hole in his heart grow and grow, fill and fill with loneliness. A loneliness that would fester until Victor’s return. Victor’s calloused fingertips brushed against Yuuri’s baby soft fingertips, and finally, Victor was out of Yuuri’s grasp.

Yuuri watched as Victor turned to grab his luggage. He flashed one last charming, loving smile towards Yuuri. Yuuri stared longingly as Victor turned on his heels, stalking to the non-existent check in queue. Yuuri stayed stood in the same spot until Victor was dismissed from the desk and made his way to security. Wiping the tears from his eyes, Yuuri turned away and left the airport.
———————————————————
To: Vitya <3
Miss you, my love ♡

To: Peach
I’m going to the dance studio. Will text when I’m done :)
YK

(AN: The track Yuuri dances to has no words, so I recommend listening to this while you read the rest: https://youtu.be/t7Ca7Va-GHY)

This piece reminded him of Victor. It was… striking, yet so elegant.

The thing is, Yuuri used to think he had the ideal like. He had a job, a great flat mate, he was doing a degree, he was dancing. But then Victor. Victor came along, crashing into his quiet life and wow, his seemingly ideal life was now evidently, mediocre.
Yuuri was insecure. That hadn’t always been the case, but it had been over the past two years. It’s a slow process, but finally, Yuuri is beginning to see what he’s really worth. After all, it takes a special type of person to have Victor Nikiforov completely whipped, doesn’t it?

Yuuri was on his toes, his leg coming up gracefully, extending past his head as he span slowly, his arms coming out and up.
His back arched beautifully, his head almost touching the back of his knees as his arm came up.
Yuuri moves like water. He flows with the music, and he’s absolutely gorgeous. He watched himself in the mirror as his leg came up in a perfect split, his arm wrapping around the outstretched leg.

Yuuri missed Victor dearly. He missed having Victor’s nose gently pressed against the back of his neck as they slept. He missed the way Victor’s arms pulled him close and their legs tangled together under the covers.
Yuuri would notice the way Victor bit his lip when he was thinking. He’d notice the way Victor tossed his hair back when he showered, the way his smile gleamed when Yuuri woke up in the morning. Every morning would be cold, every night would be cold, because Yuuri’s personal space heater would not be there.

Yuuri was the most beautiful dancer. His slender arms moved gracefully in the air, one arm around his waist, the other brought just above his craned neck. Yuuri’s legs were powerful. Powerful, yet elegant. With a strong push of his toes against the floor, Yuuri launched himself into a graceful leap, his landing virtually silent as the balls of his feet hit the floor. Yuuri admires himself in the mirrors as he danced, watching his slender, toned limbs sweep through the violin filled air. The taps of his dance shoes echoed through the room, a perfect accompaniment to the beautiful music.

Victor was exceptionally amazing. He made Yuuri’s heart come up his throat, made his lungs tighten up, made his hands sweat. Victor lit up every room he walked into, pairs and pairs of eyes turned to stare in awe at his Vitya every time they were together. To be honest, sometimes being with Victor made Yuuri nervous. He found himself a little on edge, not because of Victor, oh no. It was just the thought of hearing nasty comments on the streets made him nervous. Victor would never care what anyone else said about him, but Yuuri wasn’t like that. He just wasn’t. Yuuri heard everything, and it dug under his skin.

By the end of the track Yuuri was crying, tears disguised under beads of sweat. The studio fell silent, only Yuuri’s heavy breaths echoing through the air. He hesitantly trudged to the mirror, staring back at his own crying face. Slowly, his back slid down the mirror, and he buried his face in his knees, releasing a trembling sigh.
———————————————————
Yuuri danced well into the night, completely losing track of the time and all the while, his mind wondered towards Victor. By the time he next checked his phone he saw a list of frantic texts from Phichit.

From: Peach
When are you coming home?

From: Peach
Are you alright?

From: Peach
Do I need to phone the cops?

From: Peach
Yuuri it’s been 4 hours where are you?

Yuuri let out a squeak and quickly typed out a reply.

To: Peach
Ahh! Sorry! I lost track of time. Will be home in 20

Chapter Text

From: Yuuri <3
Miss you, my love ♡

Victor’s heart pounded. Yuuri wasn’t ever really one for endearments, so to have Yuuri call him his love just send so much joy through his whole being. Yuuri often got embarrassed by pet names, both being called by them and calling Victor by them. He always adorned that beautiful scarlet blush every time Victor called him “my sweet”, or “cupcake”, or “sweetling”, so to have Yuuri call him “my love” sent surprise and complete adoration to run through his veins, coursing up and down his body.

To: Yuuri <3
Just got home. Miss you too, my sweet ♡ I need a nap! Can I phone you tomorrow? Love you beaut <3

Victor put his phone away in his pocket and flopped on the bed, Makkachin immediately plopping down by his side. Victor tugged Makkachin up and buried his face in her fur, grumbling and sighing.
Sleeping most certainly wasn’t the same without Yuuri – he missed burying his nose in his neck, kissing the crown of his head, wrapping his arms around him. Makkachin was good too, but she just wasn’t the same, she just felt different to Yuuri, obviously.

Yuuri was warm. The way Yuuri trembled when Victor pressed the ice cold tip of his nose against the back of his nose made Victor chuckle, his cold fingers coming up god shirt and squeezing his belly softly, laughing as Yuuri squirmed and squealed. Yuuri sometimes rambled sweet nothings into Victor’s chest while they laid in bed as Victor’s fingers ran through his soft hair, sometimes talking about his day, or a story from his childhood. While Makkachin would always be Victor’s life long companion and best friend, she just wasn’t Yuuri. She just didn’t fill that “Yuuri” criteria.

Victor had a hard time falling asleep. The air was cold, the bed was lonely, almost too big for him and Makkachin. He’d choose Yuuri’s single bed over this any day. Victor tossed and turned, grumbling into his pillow. Makkachin, on the other hand, slept soundly at the foot of the bed, little puffs of air coming from her as she slept. Victor heard his phone ping and he immediately whipped over to the bedside table to grab it.

From: Yuuri <3
Just woke up ♡ I have a dance class to teach at 3 so if you wake up before then you can phone :) love you <3

Now wouldn’t be too bad to phone, right?

To: Yuuri <3
Can I call now! Can’t sleep T__T love you too ♡

His phone started ringing and immediately, Victor picked up.

“Hey, sweetling.” Victor’s soft, yet slightly hoarse voice spoke with a smile.

“Morning, sunshine. What time is it?” Yuuri’s angelic voice always sent love coursing through Victor’s bones, a gentle smile covered his face.

“Five o’clock.” Victor let out a tired sigh. “Jet lag, probably. How are you, my sweet?” Victor asked, tucking himself back into Makkachin’s fur.

“Tired, cold, and lonely. The bed is empty without you.” Yuuri sighed sadly. “But other than that I’m okay I guess. I have a class to teach later, and then a doctors appointment to renew my prescription for my meds. How are you?”

“I have to be up at nine for training but I think I’m just gonna skip today I’m so tired. My body just refuses to sleep.” Victor dramatically sighed with a soft grumble as Yuuri chuckled.

“My poor Vitya. Would you like me to stay on the line while you see if you can fall asleep?” Yuuri offered, putting his phone on speaker so he could go about his morning – technically afternoon – routine.

“Yes please…”

“Hold on, I’ll put my camera on.” Yuuri tapped his phone, setting it on his phone dock and Victor’s tired face appeared, smooshed into a pillow as Makkachin’s brown fur was just visible.

“You look gorgeous.” Victor tiredly smiled, closing his eyes and burying his face into his pillow.

“Not as much as my handsome super star figure skater.” Yuuri chuckled. “Now close your eyes, I’ll still be here.” Yuuri smiled as Victor nodded weakly, the crease between his brows straightening out.

Victor zoned out, paying attention only to the sounds of Yuuri going about his day – the soft clinking of his cutlery as he ate, the quiet shuffling of his socks against the wooden floor, the thumping tumble of things as Yuuri knocked his pot of markers off his desk. Even the faintest sounds of Yuuri’s breathing out a soft smile on Victor’s face and he closed his eyes, listening as Yuuri sat down to talk about his plans for the week, ramble about his dance class, smile about his job. Soon after, Victor was out like a light, his breaths light as a feather as he cuddled his face into Makkachin’s soft curls of fur.

“Night, Vitya. Love you lots, mwah.” Yuuri chuckled, cutting the call.

Yuuri smiled at Victor’s sleeping face, taking a screenshot of that adorable face, adorned with fluttering long lashes and platinum strands. He stayed on the line just a little longer, watching his beautiful lover, longing for him for just a few more moments. Eventually, Yuuri ended the call with a bittersweet smile. He looked at the time – just past one.
———————————————————
Three weeks later – Friday, January 27th, 2017

Yuuri was absolutely exhausted. After a morning dance class and a night shift at the café, he just wanted to flop down on the bed and sleep for god knows how long. He opened the door of his apartment and let out the heaviest sigh as he came home. As he was about to step in, something caught his eye, that something looked like a letter. The envelope was an ivory colour, sealed with a burgundy wax stamp. He turned the letter over and his hands trembled, heart pounding up in his throat as he read the address.

Administration Office
Bolshoi School of Ballet
Xxxx xxxxxx xxxx
St. Petersburg
Russian Federation
Xxx xxx

Yuuri almost didn’t want to open it. His heart was racing and his palms were sweating. He was about to find out if his future would lead him to Victor’s arms much sooner than he ever dared to dream of. Not ready to face an almost certain rejection, Yuuri hastily set the letter down on the shoe cabinet by the door. Taking a deep breath, Yuuri left the letter untouched as he went to change out of his dance wear and shower.

Scalding water patterned down Yuuri’s back, burning his skin like tiny pin pricks as he stood in the shower. Did he really want to open that letter? It was bound to be a rejection anyway. But what if it wasn’t? What if, on the off chance, he wasn’t rejected? Faced with a new determination, Yuuri stepped out of the shower.

Yuuri touched the slightly textured envelope, and with shaking hands and trembling breaths, Yuuri glided his thumb under the wax seal, popping it open. He carefully slipped the letter out, on ivory card. He closed his eyes and unfolded it. Slowly, his eyes opened. He read the letter.

“Dear Mr. Yuuri Katsuki,
We would like to inform you that your audition to the Bolshoi School of Ballet, based in St Petersburg, Russia, has been processed. With the result of this audition, we are pleased to be able to offer you a place here to further coach you to success.

Your course starts: March 21st, 2017

We look forward to welcoming you.

Lilia Baranovskaya,
Coach and Head Mistress”

Yuuri’s hands were trembling. He did it. He made it. Finally, his dreams were coming true. Finally. Yuuri took a photo of the letter and sent it to Victor.

To: Vitya <3
[Image]
I leave myself in your care ♡

Chapter Text

Victor’s phone went off while he was skating. Skating to the edge of the rink, he slipped on his blade guards and picked up his phone. He squealed to himself as he saw the text was from Yuuri. Swiping, he unlocked his phone.

From: Yuuri <3
[Image]
I leave myself in your care ♡

Victor let out the loudest screech, silencing the rink, not that he noticed. Or at least, if he did notice, he didn’t care. His eyes watered as he held one hand over his mouth. Hands trembling slightly, he immediately phoned Yuuri.

“Vit—“
“Yuuri! I knew you could do it! I’m so proud of you, my sweet.” Victor’s voice softened as he sat down on the bench, one hand subconsciously placed over his heart. Tears were almost falling down the apples of his cheeks, a smile spread ear to ear. “When are you coming over?” Victor was practically jumping up and down, almost about to cry as his eyes began to water, his hand coming up to rest just on top of his lips.

“Hey to you too, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled. “It’s all because of you. My course starts on March twenty-first, so probably around the end of February beginning of March? I haven’t told Phichit yet, so I need to tell him when he gets home. Are you training?” Yuuri’s voice was soft, incredibly calm for someone who’d just been accepted into the most prestigious ballet school in the world.

“Why do I sound more excited about this than you do?” Victor chuckled with a happy sigh. “Yeah but you texted so it’s important enough to stop training!” Victor justified.

“I guess it just hasn’t really sunk in. I’ll be crying and trembling and panicking mess when it finally sinks in. You’re gonna get your head bitten off by your coach, you know.” Yuuri’s laugh was gentle, almost like a gust of wind. Victor’s heart boiled over with adoration because he would finally have Yuuri in his arms forever. There were so many places Victor wanted to take Yuuri to, so many places he wanted him to see.

“Yakov’s used to it. I can see steam coming out from his ears already. What are you doing later?” Victor asked, crossing one leg over the other and brushing his hair away from his face.

“You shouldn’t do that to your poor coach.” Yuuri smiled. “Fill out a student visa form and send it off, then hope it gets processed before my course starts.” Yuuri sighed softly, suddenly a bit worried. “I really should have done that earlier but it would have been a waste if I didn’t get in. I’ll do it after though.” Shit, it really was something Yuuri should have done earlier. Now he had to pray to the gods for it. One more hung to add to his list of stresses. “Then I’m going to the dance studio later to tell Minako, and probably cry and panic.” Yuuri joked with a quiet sigh of happiness.

“I should let you go so your coach can take your head off.” Yuuri giggled as Victor let out a dramatic gasp. Oh how Yuuri could hear the drama.

“Mean Yuuri! Letting my coach kill me!” He sobbed dramatically. “You wound me!” Yuuri snorted.

“Get back to practice, drama queen.” Yuuri laughed.

“See you soon, Yuuri. I can’t wait for you to come over.” Victor smiled tenderly, eyes gleaming and heart clenching at the thought of Yuuri moving in.

“Honestly my sweet I’m so so proud of you. I have a lot to show you when you get here.” Victor smiled softly, pulling a tissue from his tissue box to pat his eyes dry. “I can’t wait to share my childhood with you, and my future too.” He sniffled, before continuing. “Sorry I’m getting all sappy.”

“Thank you, Vitya. For giving me this chance. I can’t wait to share my life with you too.” Great, now Yuuri was crying too. The idea of spending the rest of his life with Victor seemed like a fantasy at the beginning, but now? Now it was becoming a reality.

“I need some time to cry and look for a new place like a huge penthouse or something so I’ll let you go. I’m so happy, Yuuri. See you soon, love you, kisses.”

“Don’t go that extreme Vitya! Get back to practice. Love you too, kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.” Victor cut the call after a slight lingering pause. Victor then slipped his phone away, completely giddy and over the moon.

“What the fuck old man?” The blonde teen looked completely disgusted. “Whatever. I don’t care. Gross.” Yuri snarled, huffing before skating away again.
———————————————————
When Victor arrived home with the hugest smile ever, he was greeted by Makkachin who also had the greatest smile ever. It was like she knew.

“Makka! Yuuri’s moving over!” Victor picked Makkachin up and ran for the bedroom, pulling his laptop up. Now he had to make some decisions. Would Yuuri appreciate a new kitchen? He could get an island, a new fridge, some new appliances maybe? He could get the bedrooms redone too and get a bigger bed and bed frame, more wardrobe space, or even a walk in closet. He could get a jacuzzi put into the bathroom for Yuuri to relax in. Maybe he should just find a new house.

To: Yuuri <3
Babeeeeee I’m thinking of getting a new condo or a penthouse for when you move in! Do you have any colour scheme preferences or anything like that? I thought of just redecorating but I want a place to build new memories with you only (*´♡`*)

Victor looked around the central St. Petersburg area, looking for a penthouse. It should be an easy task, but it just wasn’t. You see, Victor had a very specific… specification. He wanted all the luxuries to make Yuuri comfortable. Like that jacuzzi, huge living space, even a pit to cuddle in. A few spare rooms would be nice, for when Yuuri’s family visit, and a few nice bathrooms to enjoy too. Just as he was reaching the core of his conundrum, Victor’s phone went off.

From: Yuuri <3
Victor wtf you don’t need to buy a whole new house! I’m sure the one you have is fine – we can make it our own :)

Victor pouted.

To: Yuuri <3
But babeeeeeee I don’t think my place has enough space ;)

From: Yuuri <3
I refuse to believe the great Victor Nikiforov does not already own a 10 bedroom 7 bathroom apartment.

To: Yuuri <3
Okay but what if I just wanted a new place?

From: Yuuri <3
If you genuinely want one then go ahead, but please don’t buy one just because of me <3

To: Yuuri <3
Okay, I’ll buy one for “””my own benefit””” ♡

From: Yuuri <3
Pfft. You’re ridiculous. Love you ♡

To: Yuuri <3
Love you too ♡
———————————————————
Victor spent hours on end looking for a nice penthouse, and finally, he’d found one. Absolutely perfect. Now he just had to grab it before someone else got there.

The penthouse was beautiful. It was everything Victor could ever want, and he hoped Yuuri felt the same. It had a pool and jacuzzi hot tub on the rooftop, huge glass windows, a fireplace, and a gorgeous kitchen. In the living room there was a large pit, with steps leading down to a huge sofa which filled the entire pit. Spiral staircases connected the second floor to the first floor, with mahogany wood steps and stainless steel handrails. Victor could just imagine Yuuri walking down those steps in a boyfriend shirt.

Despite its large size, the penthouse only had three bedrooms. Up on the second floor was a master bedroom with an ensuite. The bedroom was a brilliant white, with grand glass pane windows. The skirting boards were a dark grey colour, and the sapele wood floors contrasted the bright walls. A walk-in closet was on the left of the room, directly opposite the ensuite. The ensuite had two marble sinks, a toilet, a shower cubicle, and a deep sided white bathtub. The sparkly black floors really brought the bathroom together.

Victor fell in love with it. Immediately, he phoned up to find out more.
———————————————————
“Hey sweetling.” Victor smiled down the phone.

“Hi. How’s your day?” Yuuri asked. His heart fluttered at the angelic voice on the other end of the line, and the reality still hadn’t dawned upon him that he’d get to hear that voice every single morning.

“I have some news!” Victor started. “I put down a deposit for a new place today.” Yuuri was about to open his mouth, but Victor stopped him. “I know you told me I shouldn’t but… there’s a lot of reasons I bought a new place.” Victor sighed quietly.

Instead of scolding him, Yuuri smiled softly. “I can’t wait to see. But why did you buy a new place?” Yuuri couldn’t help but ask.

“I guess I wanted a fresh start. I’ve had some pretty bad memories there and I didn’t want a place that was mine and is now ours, I wanted a place that started off as ours to begin with.” Victor frowned, before peeking up again. “But it is beautiful! I don’t have a move in date, but I want to move in at the same time with you.” Victor said fondly.

“You’re too sweet. I’m really excited.” Yuuri chuckled. “Anyway, I have to go now, gotta work soon.” Yuuri said sadly.

“I’ll let you go then. Love you, kisses!”

“I love you too, kisses, mwah!”

“Mwah.”

Chapter Text

The night after the arrival of the letter, Yuuri waited patiently for Phichit to get home from his shift. He was sat on the sofa, letter in hand, waiting to hear the click of the front door. Tense moments passed, but finally, the front door opened.

“I’m home!” Phichit called.

“Welcome back. I have something to tell you.” Yuuri turned around to face him with a soft smile as he heard Phichit toss his keys into the bowl on the shoe cabinet. Phichit’s head perked up as he kicked off his shoes.

“Oh! What’s up?” Phichit quickly came and sat down on the sofa and Yuuri handed him the letter. He watched as Phichit’s eyes scanned the letter, face going from concentration to surprise to a huge smile.

“You did it!” Immediately, Phichit tossed the letter on the coffee table and swung his arms around Yuuri’s neck. “I’m so proud of you!” Phichit pulled away with a big grin. “You’d better be accepting this offer!”

“Of course I am! I just… we never really discussed me leaving you, or the other way around so… you’ll be okay, right?” Yuuri asked, more concerned than anything.

“Yuuri. I should be asking if you’ll be okay. I’ve lived here for years, but you’ll be moving somewhere totally unknown!” Phichit expressed, frowning slightly.

“Eh? I’ll be fine! Victor will be there, after all.” Phichit. Squealed. Loud.

“I’m so happy you can finally be with Victor! I better be the first to get a wedding invitation and the first to see your child and—“ Yuuri glared at him with a soft pout. “Sorry, sorry! But really, I can’t wait to see your life go forwards!”

“I’m scared though. About leaving you, this life, all of that behind. It scares me.” Yuuri frowned, his fists clenching.

“Why?”

“It just scares me. What if Victor one day decides that I’m not the one for him? We’ve never lived together before. What if we clash and he gets annoyed with me? Or he starts to hate me? I’d end up stranded in Russia with nowhere to go and no one and no guidance at all.” Yuuri’s voice faded into a quiet squeak and he buried his face into folded arms which sat atop his knees.

“I’m moving all the way to a whole new continent, with only one person to rely on. What if that one person doesn’t want me anymore? Then what am I going to do? I’ve dreamt about living with Victor for so long but now that that reality is just around the corner it just terrifies me.” Yuuri sighed, before continuing. “I shouldn’t be thinking like that because I know Victor loves me but I just have this nagging feeling that secretly he finds me annoying. Am I even ready to move away?” Yuuri was about to cry.

“You’ve dreamt of this for so long, if not Victor, your ballet career. It’s something you’ve always wanted to do. And it’s something you have the opportunity to do now.” Phichit put a reassuring hand on Yuuri’s shoulder, squeezing gently.

“What if it all goes horribly wrong and it turns out I’m not the person Victor wants though?” Yuuri mumbled with a frustrated sigh. He removed his glasses, folding them and putting them on the coffee table.

“I highly doubt anything will go drastically wrong. But if it does, and you feel like you can’t stay there any longer, I’ll still be here to welcome you back.” Phichit reassured, although he wasn’t sure if it was reassurance that he’d still be here for Yuuri or reassurance of Yuuri’s insecurities about his relationship.

“Promise?” Yuuri turned his head out of his arms, holding out his pinky finger. Phichit softly chuckled, hooking his pinky with Yuuri’s.

“Of course! That’s what best friends are for, right?” Yuuri nodded. “Please talk to Victor about this, though. He’ll know how to make you feel welcome.” Phichit smiled. “He really is a keeper, you know. He’s obviously madly in love with you, after all, he tries to come back as often as possible to see you. He sends you gifts through the mail, he’s never failed to give you a bouquet of flowers whenever he visits.”

“You’re right… I just can’t help but think this is all too perfect. What if God or Satan or whatever decides that’s not what I deserve?” Yuuri sighed again, tossing his head back onto the back of the sofa.

“Well, fuck whoever’s up there because you deserve just that. You’ve put up with a lot over your life and it’s about time something amazing happened. Even more amazing than meeting Victor.” Phichit flashed a bright smile, pearly whites glowing and it made Yuuri smile too.
———————————————————
When Yuuri told his family he was moving to Russia they were ecstatic for him. His childhood dreams were finally coming true, and with a beautiful man at that.

“He’s not some playboy is he?” Mari asked, lifting one eyebrow at the camera. Yuuri shook his head.

“He’s very sweet. I’m sure you’ll love him too. We want to come over one day. It’s been a while since I’ve visited.” Yuuri chuckled.

“I’m glad you’ve found him, Yuuri.” His Mother smiled, her chubby cheeks glowing with a cute pink blush, one that was often found on Yuuri’s cheeks too.

“Me too.” He smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t see you guys one more time before I leave. Now I’m out of school I should be on a more regular schedule in Russia so I hope I can come over.” Yuuri sighed sadly. He often got very homesick, and whilst he’d gotten used to it over the years, no home would ever top the hot springs at Hasetsu. Hasetsu would always be his home.

“Don’t worry about it! We know you’re very busy, got things to pay, and we’ve been busy too. Just know that we’ll always love and support you.” His father flashed a toothy grin, the same one that used to warm Yuuri’s heart as a child, and actually, still did.

“Thanks, guys.” He sniffled. God, he wasn’t expecting to cry. “I miss you so much.” Yuuri bitterly smiled.

“It’s a big step, moving country. Maybe we can find some time to come to you in Russia one day. After all, we’d love to see you dance live for once, and not through Phichit’s recorded videos.” Hiroko laughed.

“As soon as I’m settled and I have a schedule I’ll let you know. I have to go now, gotta get to the dance studio.” Yuuri’s family waved.

“Bye guys, love you.”

“Bye, Yuuri, we love you too!”
———————————————————
Just short of a month before his course started, Yuuri finally managed to obtain a visa, after a month and a half of stressing out. Now, he had to decide what was coming to Russia, and what was staying here in Tokyo.

“You’ll keep my room for me, wont you? Even if you find a new roomie?” Yuuri asked with a small pout.

“It’s always yours!” Yuuri smiled softly in response.

“Thanks.” He cleared out his drawers, packing a good portion of his clothes and his dance things into a suitcase, and some books, a few figures, and some less essential things into a large box. Phichit promised to send said box once Yuuri had an address. Yuuri didn’t want to take too much with him – he still wanted this apartment to feel like home when he visited.

Yuuri knew home in Russia was going to be… big, almost too big. He already felt a little uneasy about that. He’d always been so used to smaller spaces, cost and a little more jam packed. It was a bit like a mental barrier for Yuuri, in which he could hide behind his things and find comfort in his own space. Something told him he wouldn’t be able to do that in Russia.

Yuuri had packed up most of the things he wanted to take with him, leaving behind little memoirs, some clothes, and other miscellaneous items.

To: Vitya <3
[image]
I packed ♡
———————————————————
Victor was clearing out his belongings to prepare to move when his phone’s text tone sounded. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he swiped it open to see the message.

From: Yuuri <3
[image]
I packed ♡

The image was just one large box and two suitcases, Victor was kind of surprised at the lack of things Yuuri owned. Just that simple image of Yuuri’s belongings made Victor smile, warmth over flowing. He couldn’t wait to greet him with open arms.

To: Yuuri <3
I’m clearing out atm. Just dumped a lot of old things and packed away some other things! You don’t seem to be bringing much with you haha! Can’t wait to see my sweetling ♡

From: Yuuri <3
Most of my stuff is still Hasetsu, so I don’t have much in Tokyo. But quite a bit of my stuff is staying in Tokyo too so it feels like home when we visit :)
I can’t wait to see you either, my Vitya ♡

Victor could have sworn his soul just left his body. One would have thought that a romantic like Victor would be used to these pet names, considering he uses them himself, but that just wasn’t the case. Victor was sure he was blushing bright red as a tomato, trying not to squeal as he read the last line over and over again, his heart pounding in his throat.
———————————————————
In the last week before Yuuri was moving, he shoved the last few items into his suitcase and released a heavy sigh. His room looked very bare, various books and collectibles missing from their shelves, numerous miscellaneous items missing from his desk. This time next week, he’d be starting a brand new life in a brand new place.

Chapter Text

Yuuri got off the plane with trembling legs and cold hands. He took a deep breath and took his passport from his pocket, preparing to go through customs, making absolutely sure he still had his visa.

“You’re here to study?” The customs officer asked, scanning his passport.

“Yes, I am.”

“Do you have any proof of where you’ll be studying and for how long?” The customs officer asked, taking a close look at Yuuri’s visa. Yuuri’s face fell. Shit. He’d left his acceptance letter in Tokyo.

“I… I’m studying ballet at the Bolshoi School of Ballet for three years.” Yuuri’s voice was small, his heart pounding in his throat. The officer raised an eyebrow.

“Any proof? A letter or some kind of document?” Yuuri hesitantly shook his head, swallowing the lump in his throat.

“I forgot my acceptance letter at home.” The customs officer sighed and stepped out of his booth.

“And how are you paying for your education?” The officer asked. God, Yuuri was tired.

“Partly by scholarship, partly by savings, and partly by my boyfriend.”

“Follow me.” Yuuri’s legs were shaking, his blood running cold as he followed behind him, and into what seemed to be an interrogation room. He took a seat.

Yuuri sat there for what felt like forever, answering question after question about why he was coming to Russia, what he was going, and so many questions he already answered at the gate. He sighed heavily and he could feel tears welling in his eyes. His heart raced as he clenched his fists, trying to keep himself calm.

“I’m going to have to phone the school to confirm your place. In the meantime, please fill out these forms.” Yuuri nodded, picking up the pen. His hands were so cold he struggled to hold the pen properly.

The officer tapped away at the phone.

“Is anyone waiting for you outside?” Yuuri nodded.

“My boyfriend is waiting for me.”

“Name?”

“Victor Nikiforov.” The customs officer quirked an eyebrow, but nodded. He hit the call button on the phone, and it rang for a few moments before someone picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hello, is this the Bolshoi School of Ballet?” A stern, female voice answered.

“Yes, it is. May I ask who this is?”

“This is customs at Pulkovo International Airport, and it has come to my understanding that you’re expecting a student from Japan to be coming over?” He took out a notepad and pen. “By the name of Yuuri Katsuki.”

“Yes, I am. He is expected to start in two weeks time. Is there a problem?” Yuuri could already hear the slight agitation in her voice, god, he hoped she wasn’t that stoic in real life.

“Just confirming his acceptance and place as he’s forgotten his acceptance letter.”

“Well, yes, he is due to be enrolled here. Is that it?”

“Yes, you’ve been helpful, thank you, have a nice day.” The officer put down the phone and handed Yuuri his passport and visa. “You can go, I’ll escort you out.” Yuuri released a deep breath of relief that he didn’t even realise he was holding.
———————————————————
As soon as Yuuri saw Victor, he ran. Ran straight for those open arms and buried his face in Victor’s chest, inhaling his intoxicating scent. It was so calming to be able to hold Victor and it made his heart jump, the thought of being able to wake up next to him every morning. Makkachin pawed at Yuuri’s leg, licking and happily barking for affection. Yuuri chuckled.

“Hey, sweetling.” Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head, his hands running up and down Yuuri’s clothed back. “Welcome home.”

“Sorry I kept you waiting… had some customs issues.” Yuuri sighed deeply. “I almost cried.” He chuckled bitterly into Victor’s chest.

“Well now we can see our new home, can’t we? My stuff is already delivered, but I wanted to move in at the same time, so I haven’t been there yet.” Yuuri pulled away and knelt down to Makkachin, holding his hand out for her to lick.

“Did you miss me?” Yuuri asked, petting her soft fluffy ears before standing back up. “Well, what are we waiting for?” Yuuri asked, taking a hold of Makkachin’s leash in one hand, and Victor’s hand in the other, while Victor took his luggage.
———————————————————
They got out of the taxi outside a luxury apartment complex and made their way to the very top.

“Are you ready?” Yuuri bit his lip and nodded with a smile as Victor unlocked the door. He pushed it open and Yuuri gasped, hands coming up to cover his mouth. Makkachin immediately bounded in and ran straight for her bed in the spare room. “Will you allow me the honour of carrying you into our first home?” Yuuri frantically nodded, helping when Victor picked him up with one arm around his shoulders and one arm under his knees. Yuuri laughed as he was carried in, releasing another squeak as Victor stepped down into the large, soft pit in the middle of the living room and tossed him down, landing on a plethora of pillows and blankets. Victor kissed his forehead before climbing off of him.

“I’ll just grab your suitcase.” Victor stepped up and out from what was now known as the “cuddle pit” and went to get Yuuri’s suitcase from the door before joining Yuuri. He tugged him by the hips and pulled him into a hug, his arms wrapping tightly around his torso. Slowly, Victor’s hand slipped up Yuuri’s shirt.

“Victor Nikiforov, what are you doing?” Yuuri asked with a small smirk, the corner of his lip turning up.

“Yuuri Katsuki… would you like to join me in the christening of our new home, starting with the living room?” Victor’s voice seemed to drop an octave and suddenly, his pants were too tight.

Yuuri turned in Victor’s arms. “Hmm,” he pretended to think, his arms coming around Victor’s back and down his trousers, grabbing and squeezing. “I don’t know, Victor Nikiforov, will I?” Yuuri teasingly smirked.

“I highly suggest that you do.” Victor freed his hands to unbutton Yuuri’s shirt, working his way from the bottom up.

“Well then I guess I shall be joining you in christening our new home.” Yuuri worked his hands at Victor’s trousers, quickly pulling the fly down. His hand slid into his trousers, squeezing the growing bulge. “How does a blowjob sound?” Yuuri whispered in his ear, kissing the shell.

“Mmm… my Yuuri got so bold.” Victor turned on his back, tugging Yuuri on top and spreading his legs. Yuuri placed himself between Victor’s legs, his shirt slipping down one shoulder. Victor groaned. Yuuri released Victor from his tight hip-hugging underwear, smiling as it sprang up to his stomach. Leaning down, Yuuri grasped the girth in his hand and placed a teasing lick to the tip.

Victor took a sharp breath, a hand flying down to grip Yuuri’s hair as he engulfed the bulbous tip, his tongue playing and flicking the slit. Yuuri closed his eyes and took in another two inches, his tongue tracing the prominent vein on the underside of his dick. The way Victor twitched on his tongue made Yuuri’s eyes roll to the back of his head and he released a deep groan. It send vibrations down Victor’s dick, electricity coursing through his body.

“Y-Yuuri!” Victor tightly gripped Yuuri’s hair, tugging. Yuuri moaned again, louder this time, with a soft gasp at the tug. He took more of Victor’s thick girth in his mouth, working his way down until his nose was brushing against dark silver hairs. His lips were stretched wide and slick. Feeling Victor’s length enter his throat made tears well in Yuuri’s eyes and whimpers fall from his lips. He clenched and relaxed his throat repeatedly, slowly withdrawing. Victor was mewling and shuddering above him, pulling and tugging his soft jet black locks.

Yuuri’s bottom teeth scraped softly against the vein, working back up to the tip where he pulled off to kiss and suckle the thick head. Yuuri was tempted to grind against the cushioned floor of the pit, but refrained from it, in favour of pleasuring Victor instead.

“Ahh!” Victor bucked his hips, the tip hitting the soft, spongy back of Yuuri’s throat. Yuuri gagged slightly, pulling back before quickly recovering to take him right down his throat again.

“Y-Yuuri… c-can I… Can I f-fuck your face?” Victor choked out with heavy pants. Yuuri’s eyes lit up. He released the longest groan Victor had ever heard. Yuuri’s head dropped right back down again and Victor’s hand moved from his head to the back of his neck. He guided Yuuri’s head up and down, moaning and twitching every time Yuuri’s groans vibrated up his length. Yuuri whimpered and swallowed every time he felt Victor hit the back of his throat, tightening it and moaning around it.

Yuuri felt his throat get fucked open as Victor’s free hand moved to the front of Yuuri’s neck, gently feeling as he felt his girth bulging out of his throat, the bulge disappearing every time he withdrew, and reappearing under his fingertips as he fuck back into Yuuri’s throat. Yuuri relaxed his throat and mouth, allowing Victor to freely fuck his face.

“Y-Yuuri… I—“ Victor tapped his neck gently. “I’m gonna come…” Yuuri smirked around his length and swallowed, his tongue running up the vein as he moaned. God, that sent Victor straight over the edge. “Haah! Y-Yuuri!” Victor bucked his hips hard, throwing his head back as he came down Yuuri’s throat. Yuuri pulled off, the rest of Victor’s load coating Yuuri’s thick blue frames. Victor released deep, heavy breaths as Yuuri climbed up his body.

Victor’s eyes fluttered open and the sight of Yuuri’s face splattered with his semen almost made him pop another boner.

“God. You’re beautiful.” Victor immediately tugged Yuuri’s face down to meet his own, capturing his lips in a salty, sweet kiss.

“Where are we christening next, Mr Nikiforov?”

Chapter Text

Victor carried Yuuri up from the sunken sofa and out into their new bedroom.
“I’m loving the princess curtains, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled, his voice slightly hoarse and rough, throat scratchy as he leaned up to kiss his nose.

“Picked especially for you.” Once again, Yuuri was tossed onto the bed, his back hitting the mattress with a soft “thwump” sound. “I’d love to have the honour of being inside you to christen our room, Yuuri.” Victor chuckled, and Yuuri blushed, cheeks down to his chest. Victor pulled back. “Cute!” He thought as he kissed Yuuri’s button nose. “You just had my dick down your throat but you’re blushing now?!” Victor exclaimed, surprised, before chuckling softly.

“T-that was different!” Yuuri squeaked, turning his face away in embarrassment.

“You’re so adorable, my sweet.” Victor gently bumped his forehead against Yuuri’s before turning on his back and pulling Yuuri into his lap. Yuuri smiled, leaning down to kiss Victor’s soft lips, his own lips swollen and red and slick with saliva. Victor reached for the strategically placed lube on the bed, which had seemingly been slipped into a pillowcase.

“Why’s that there? I thought you hadn’t been in yet?” Victor smirked.

“I hadn’t – I hid it in a pillow when everything was being moved and packed up, so when the movers set it all up, it was conveniently there.” Victor snorted, grinning ear to ear at his own genius.

Yuuri pouted.
“So extra.” Yuuri’s pout broke out into a content smile as Victor popped the cap open. He squeezed a generous amount of lube into his fingertips, warming it up slightly.

“Hey, Yuuri?” Victor grabbed his attention as he slipped the tip of his finger into Yuuri’s pink pucker as Yuuri gasped sharply.

“M…Mm?” Yuuri responded behind gritted teeth as Victor’s finger slid all the way in. He held it there, allowing Yuuri to adjust, feeling the soft passage clench and unclench repeatedly around him.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Victor chuckled, wiggling his finger just a little bit.

“S-Shut up! I only… onlylikeitwhenyoutouchmethere…” Yuuri mumbled, his face collapsing into Victor’s shoulder. Victor smirked.

“What was that?” Victor chuckled as he slowly began to slide his finger out.

“N-nothing.” Yuuri’s face was burning from embarrassment and pleasure, his fingertips digging into Victor’s shoulders.

“Hey Yuuri?” Victor repeated.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t you think it’s cute? That you moved in two weeks before our anniversary.” Yuuri felt his breath catch and he froze, immediately lifting his head, eyes wide and mouth gaping. He almost screeched, but settled for a merge between a groan and a sigh.

“Did you forget?” Victor chuckled, slipping a second finger inside Yuuri, next to the first.

“Nngh!” Yuuri shuddered before nodded. “It slipped my mind…” Yuuri breathed heavily, soft moans spilling from equally soft lips.

Victor chuckled. “Well, we can still celebrate.” Victor spread his fingers as he pulled them out, stretching Yuuri’s rim. “We can go out for dinner…” Victor’s fingers pushed back in, right to the knuckle, feeling around. “I could take you skating…” Victor began to pump his fingers in and out, spreading them apart before pushing them back in. “We’ll spend the night at a luxury hotel and spa…” Victor continued, Yuuri melting in his lap with his face buried in Victor’s shoulder, the cutest quiet moans escaping his lips. “We’ll soak in the jacuzzi, get a massage, and I’ll take you back to our room…” Victor added a third finger and Yuuri let out a high pitched whine, clenching up before relaxing. “How does that sound?” Victor asked, pushing his fingertips just so the touched the very edge of that bundle of nerves.

“Ahh! V-Vitya… t-there… good…” Yuuri groaned, his nose pressed up against Victor’s neck and inhaling deeply. “There… feels nice…” Yuuri whimpered, his thighs squeezing around Victor’s lap.

“How does our date sound, Yurochka?” God, that nickname did wonders to Yuuri and he almost, almost came. He struggled to form any kind of coherent sentence. “Wonderful…” he tried to say, but it came out more like “won…nuhhhfu…” Victor let out a breath of air as his fingers assaulted Yuuri’s prostate.

“Do you like it when I call you that, Yurochka?” Victor teased, and maybe, just maybe, Yuuri had a language kink. Yuuri nodded frantically, moans constantly pouring from his lips as Victor’s fingertips teased his sweet spot relentlessly.

“Yurochka… Yurochka… Yurochka…”

“V-Vitya… ahh… nngh…”

“Ya lyublyu tebya, Yurochka…” Yuuri was gone. His ass squeezed and swallowed Victor’s fingers, semen painting between their stomachs. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, panting hard as Victor’s fingers withdrew.

Victor grabbed the lube and squeezed another generous dollop as Yuuri pulled back to press his forehead against Victor’s.
“Do you like it that much when I speak Russian to you, Yuuri?” Yuuri moaned quietly with a nod as Victor’s tip pressed up against his rim.

“Ты прекрасна, мой мед…… (You’re beautiful, my honey…)” Yuuri’s heart was beating up his throat, pounding so hard he could hear the blood flow in his ears. Victor’s hands rested on Yuuri’s hips as he pushed in slowly, allowing Yuuri to take deep breaths, adjusting to the girth stretching him wide. Yuuri felt warm around Victor’s cock, making him groan and shudder.

“Does this feel good, Yuuri?” Victor’s sultry voice asked, his fingertips running up and down the gentle bumps of his spine. Yuuri nodded against his shoulder.

“Y-Yeah…” Yuuri quietly moaned, his breath hitching as Victor’s hips gently thrust up to Yuuri’s.

“Мой великолепный мальчик… (My gorgeous boy…)” Yuuri was moaning and whining, almost crying with pleasure at Victor’s use of Russian, regardless of whether he understood a word of it or not. Yuuri’s legs clenched around Victor’s waist as they picked up the pace a little bit more, Victor hitting just that little bit deeper inside Yuuri.

“Nngh! Ah! V-Vitya… t-there… more…” Yuuri’s breaths were hot and heavy against Victor’s shoulder, his whole body coursing with a liquid heat that made his limbs weak and his head spin.

“I love you, my Yurochka.” Victor firmly declared, his voice still not much louder than a whisper. Yuuri shuddered and squeezed tightly around Victor.

“I l-love you too, Vitya.” Yuuri breathes deeply, nails scratching softly down Victor’s shoulder blades.

“Can I come inside, Yuuri?” Victor asked and Yuuri nodded profusely against Victor’s shoulder.

“G-gonna come…” Yuuri’s voice was hoarse from moaning, coming out as a vulnerable, yet utterly adorable squeak.

“Lift your head, Yurochka. I want to see your face when you come.” Flushing a deep shade of pink that spread down his chest, Yuuri slowly lifted his head, his eyes squeezing shit at the sight of Victor. Victor with his fringe stuck with sweat to his forehead, face red and eyes clouded with lust. And it kicked Yuuri over the edge.

Almost seizing up, Yuuri bit his lip before releasing it. A string of loud moans left his plush lips as he came, squirting between their stomachs again. Victor captured his lips in a passionate make out, grunting and groaning from the base of his chest before coming inside Yuuri.

Yuuri gasped, his breath hitching as he felt Victor jolt and come inside of him, warmth spreading through his body. His forehead fell forwards onto Victor’s shoulder, panting hard, his head a little dizzy and muddled. Victor slipped out, smirking as Yuuri let out a quiet mewl, and he tugged Yuuri down onto the bed, pulling him close.
———————————————————
Yuuri and Victor’s next victim was their kitchen. Yuuri’s back was hot and sticky against the cold marble island, his eyes wide with love and adoration as Victor moved gently inside him. His legs were sore, hips bruised and voice rough.

Victor pulled him up into his arms and stood, Yuuri’s legs automatically wrapping around Victor’s hips.
“Still feeling okay?” Victor asked, pressing loving kisses to Yuuri’s face and neck.

“Y-Yeah… god… feels so nice…” Yuuri was on cloud nine, pleasure racing through his blood like electricity through a wire. His arms wrapped around Victor’s neck, fingertips playing with the soft silver tufts of hair at the base of Victor’s neck.

Victor pushed Yuuri’s back against the fridge, the sudden movement making him slam straight into Yuuri’s prostate.

“Ahh! V-Vitya!” Yuuri released a hitched gasp, hands immediately grabbing Victor’s shoulders.

“Are you close, Yurochka?” Victor’s sultry voice asked and Yuuri mewled at the use of the pet name again. “Мой детка… (My baby…” Yuuri moaned out a loud “yes…”, his nails digging into Victor’s shoulder blades, squeezing as his breath got trapped in his throat, coming silently and mouth agape.

“Shit…” Victor bit his bottom lip as Yuuri squeezed around him and he came, moaning low and loud into Yuuri’s shoulder.
———————————————————
Victor held Yuuri close in his lap as they soaked in the lavender infused bath water. Yuuri’s eyes were closed, head leant back against Victor’s shoulder, their hands intertwined together.
“So? What do you think of our new home?” Victor asked, nosing just behind Yuuri’s ear. Yuuri chuckled.

“My first thought is if you’re paying for the mortgage I’ll be paying for the bills.” Victor pouted slightly, but Yuuri continued.
“My second thought is it’s beautiful. It’s far more amazing than I ever imagined, and I can’t wait to make it ours.” Yuuri leaned his head up just enough to capture Victor’s lips.

“Don’t you think we’ve very much made it ours yet? Do we need another christening?” Victor smirked, watching Yuuri turn bright pink.

“Vitya!” Yuuri squawked before saying, “Maybe when you bring me that gold medal.” The corner of Yuuri’s lip turned up in a small smirk as Victor’s face lit up.

“Yuuriiiiiiiii!” Victor hugged his shoulders, peppering his face in soft butterfly smooches. “Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!” Victor was smiling wide and bright and Yuuri laughed, turning in Victor’s arms to hug him.

“I’m really really tired.” Yuuri yawned.

“Let’s get out and tuck you into bed then. Tomorrow, we’ll go for lunch and I’ll take you around!” Yuuri closed his eyes again, nodding against Victor’s chest. Victor hooked an arm under Yuuri’s legs and back and lifted him out of the bathtub and he carried him back into their bedroom, sheets soft and fresh against Yuuri’s sore skin.

“I’ll be back in a second.” Yuuri watched as Victor’s toned ass went back into the bathroom. Moments later Victor returned with two robes;

“Fluffy or satiny?” Victor asked, holding one in each hand.

“Fluffy, please.”

Victor nodded and went back into the bathroom to grab another fluffy robe and he strolled back in, pulling the robe onto Yuuri’s body before slipping on his own. Victor climbed onto the bed, holding Yuuri in his arms.

“I’m so happy to have you here with me. I’ve waited so long.” Victor tugged the blankets up, pulling Yuuri close to his chest. Yuuri’s eat rested just on top of his heart, hearing each beat pounding against his ear.

“At first I didn’t even dare to dream about being able to move in with you but now… it’s come about so fast.” Yuuri chuckled before sighing contently, and his laugh was music to Victor’s ears.

“Are you hungry?” Victor asked, and Yuuri blushed slightly pink as his belly rumbled, stuffing his face against Victor’s toned pectorals.

“Later… tired…” Yuuri grumbled like a child, and Victor just laughed, running his fingers through Yuuri’s hair.

“Go to sleep. Let me know how the mattress was too, I can change it if you don’t like it.” Victor suggested, and Yuuri sighed quietly.

“You don’t have to do that for me.”

“I do if it disrupts a good nights sleep.” Well, Yuuri couldn’t really argue with that.

Chapter Text

Bright sun shone through the large glass panes, the unfamiliar surroundings confused a half-awake Yuuri before he remembered. Yesterday he’d moved in with the love of his life. The next thing Yuuri noticed was the dull ache of his ass and the slightly numb feeling in his hips. He flinched slightly, peering over at the sleeping form of his boyfriend. Smiling, one finger ran over his cheek, cupping gently before reaching for his hand to squeeze.

Yuuri’s hand continued to cup Victor’s cheek, watching as the love of his life grumbled cutely in his sleep, his slightly sharp yet button nose twitching as he released a tiny sneeze. Yuuri chuckled, pressing a kiss to his soft nose, lingering just a little before pulling away.
Victor’s eyes fluttered open, vision going from blurry to clear with a couple of blinks. His love was smiling brightly as he felt the warm pressure of Yuuri’s hand against his.

“Morning, Vitya.” Yuuri’s smile was almost as bright as the sun light, Victor’s heart constructing as he brought himself to full alertness.

“Morning, Yuuri. How are you feeling?” Victor asked sitting up next to Yuuri and tugging his head to lie on his shoulder.

“Just a little sore.” Yuuri contently sighed, snuggling up to Victor’s neck, arms coming around Victor’s waist under the blankets as they tucked their knees up.

“Sorry if I overdid it. If you want, I can pop out and grab you something to soothe the soreness?” Victor offered, tucking some of Yuuri’s hair behind his ear.

“I’ll be okay. I am a bit hungry, though.” Yuuri said, looking up at Victor with big hazel eyes.

“We’ll get lunch and go for our first food shop together!” Victor excitedly suggested with that heart shaped smile that melted Yuuri’s entire being, warming him through with adoration.

“That sounds great.”
———————————————————
Victor slipped some black jeans over his long slender legs, a white shirt with the top few buttons undone. Yuuri, however, was much less decisive than Victor. He’d just finished hanging up his clothes in the walk in closet next to Victor’s, yet flicking through them, they all just looked kind of… sad. Yuuri frowned, sighing before Victor came up behind him, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist, Victor’s chin resting on his shoulder.

“Let me help you out, mkay?” Victor had a look through the currently rather empty shelves. His fingers stopped at a dusty pink shirt, and he picked out some blue jeans. Yuuri took them gratefully.

“You look beautiful in pink you know.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s blushing button nose.

“Thanks.” Yuuri smiled sweetly before Victor released him.

“I’ll meet you in the living room when you’re done?” Yuuri nodded, and Victor left Yuuri to get ready.
———————————————————
“You look great.” Victor smiled, curling his arms around Yuuri’s slender waist. Yuuri tucked his nose into Victor’s exposed collarbone, a blush hidden.

“You too, handsome.” Yuuri chuckled softly before pulling away from Victor with a tender smile to grab his trainers. Slipping them on, he tied the laces and rolled up the bottom hem of his jeans to reveal frilly white socks.

“Yuuri! They’re so cute! You look adorable!” Victor gushed, noticing the new style.

“Oh, err… I just thought I’d try something new.” Yuuri smiled sheepishly. “Thank you. I kind of like them, maybe I’ll make this a more regular thing.” He said, looking down proudly at his frilly socks.

“You definitely should. Shall we head out? We’ll get lunch, then I want to show you around.” Yuuri took Victor’s hand.

“Our first lunch date as new homeowners.” Yuuri chuckled as Victor opened the door to the penthouse.

“There’s a café my mother used to take me to every weekend. We’d get pastries and cakes, and I’d have a pastry before practice, and a cake after dinner. I stopped going after she left though, even though I walked past it every day following to go to practice. To this day it’s still the same sweet old man who runs it, so the cakes should still be delicious.” Yuuri could see Victor’s bittersweet smile as the corners of his lips turned up ever so slightly, yet his eyes remained glassy and full of thought.

“I couldn’t really bring myself to step foot in there again after she left because… well… I always wanted to avoid any questions about her whereabouts because, truth be told, I’m not sure I even really knew myself.” Victor sighed sadly, looking lost in thought before Yuuri broke the tension.

“I hope I can help you overcome that.” Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hand, watching his face soften.

“You’re a real light in my life, you know, Yuuri. I love you.” Victor’s thumb ran over the soft space between Yuuri’s thumb and index finger. Yuuri suddenly stopped walking and Victor turned around. “Yuuri?”

Yuuri released his hand and stepped forwards, pulling Victor into a warm embrace.
“I love you too.”

“Pfft.” Victor laughed. “You’re too cute.” Victor smooched the top of Yuuri’s head before pulling away. “We’ll get some cakes to take home too. Kind of like our own housewarming present. Probably not great on my diet but I don’t mind.” Victor chuckled.

Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand as they stepped into the café. It was just as he’d remembered it – walls a mint green colour with vintage décor and delicate table cloths. They took a seat.

“Pick anything, and then after we’ll take some back.” Victor opened the menu and had a scan down the list of cakes and pastries. His eyes stopped at a strawberry tart, something he always picked with his mother. Yuuri noticed Victor’s eyes, glossed over in wonder, far away from where they were now.

“Vitya?” Yuuri called. No response. “Vitya?” He tried again, but once more, Victor didn’t seem to hear. “Vitya?” This time Yuuri places his hand on Victor’s, and Victor visibly jolted from his thoughts.

“Sorry. Yes, my love?”

“Are you okay? We can find somewhere else, if you’d like.” Dammit, Yuuri was always so considerate.

“It’s okay. Have you decided what you want?”

“I think a slice of apple pie and a coffee will do. How about you?” Yuuri slipped his menu back into its holder.

“Strawberry tart and a coffee. I’m sure Yakov won’t mind me breaking my diet a little.” Victor chuckled, picturing the old man’s anger when he found out about his cheat day.

“You shouldn’t give him such a hard time, you know.” Yuuri laughed. “It’s like you deliberately set out to rip his hair out.” Yuuri smiled wide, watching Victor’s face light up.

“Well, someone has to give him a hard time.” Victor said cheekily.
———————————————————
“I used to come to this park with Makkachin whenever I needed to get away.” Victor said as he led Yuuri through a spacious park, and through a slightly wooded area. “There’s a bench here that we used to sit for hours on end until we were shivering before we dared to return home. It was sad but there was only Makkachin who I felt like I could talk to.” Yuuri’s heart broke in two, imagining what Victor’s life as a teenager was like.

“Oh… I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay though now, because I have you too.” Victor smiled brightly, squeezing Victor’s hand. Yuuri’s heart felt more at ease seeing Victor smile.

“This is where I went to school. My school days were pretty uneventful, until I became THE Victor Nikiforov rather than just Victor Nikiforov.” Victor snorted. “I mostly had no friends, and no real acquaintances either, but it was okay. I got qualifications at least.”

Yuuri stares up in awe at the huge building. It was a traditional, old style building, tall and grand with wearing bricks and vine covered walls. Definitely a private school.

“Did you have a favourite subject in school?” Yuuri asked as they continued on their venture.

“I really enjoyed art and psychology. They were both things I would have considered as a career but… well… you know how it went.” And Yuuri did. Yuuri knew exactly how Victor was pretty much forced into a competitive figure skating career and how it flushed any other career possibility right down the drain. Yuuri often wonders. If Victor weren’t a figure skater would they ever have met?

“Vitya?”

“Hmm?”

“If you never took on a figure skating career, do you think we’d have met?” Yuuri blurted out, blushing as he realised what he just said. “S-sorry! That was a stupid question you don’t have to a—“

“I’m sure any career path I would have taken would have brought me to you, my love.” Victor answered sincerely. “Earlier, later, or even right at this moment I don’t know, but I’m sure I would have been led to you. You’re my soulmate, after all.” Yuuri’s heart was pounding in his throat, blood rushing to his face at Victor’s sweet words.

“What about you? Do you think we would have met, if you stayed in Hasetsu?” Yuuri had a think about it.

“Honestly, I would never have stayed in Hasetsu.” Victor looked shocked.

“But you miss it so much?”

“I miss home so much. I love Hasetsu, but there was nothing there for me. It was all local businesses, hot springs, family run tourist places, and as much as I love it, that’s not what I wanted at all.” Yuuri sighed. “I want a career. A career that I really love, one that I know I can be the best in. And that’s just not in Hasetsu. If anything, it’s here.” Victor looked like he had a bit of a hard time piecing the puzzle together.

“So I suppose my answer is yes. Because whether it would have been you, or someone else who convinced me, I think I would have found myself here in St. Petersburg either way, and I’m almost certain I would have bumped into you along the way.” Yuuri’s smile was like a gift from god. The way the apples of his cheeks puffed out, pink and adorable, and the way his dimples were ever so prominent when he smiled.

“We really are destined to be soulmates, weren’t we?” Victor chuckled.

“I guess you can we are.”

“Can I take you to the rink next?” Victor asked after a moment of silence. “It might not be that interesting but I spend a lot of time there and most of my life is there so…” Victor’s voice faded away, thinking Yuuri wasn’t very interested. Yuuri senses that Victor felt uneasy sharing his life with Yuuri, maybe because it wasn’t the best, maybe because he thought Yuuri would find it boring.

“I want to hear about every part of your life, Vitya. Everything about your life interests me, so don’t ever think you’ll bore me with your life story because you won’t.” Yuuri reassured, watching Victor’s face change from a hint of sadness to a content smile.

“Sorry… I guess I’m just not very used to anyone being interested in the non-professional aspects of my life.” Yuuri stopped walking and tugged Victor into a deep embrace.

“You have a knack of doing this in public, don’t you?” Victor joked.

“I don’t care.” Yuuri gripped tightly onto Victor, whose eyes widened before closing. “I know you’re not very comfortable with sharing your past, I know. But I’m willing to listen to every bit you’re willing to tell me. You can tell me everything. Everything that happened when you were a kid, everything that happened when you were a teenager, everything that happens now.” Yuuri gritted his teeth. His heart broke for Victor – all this time Victor was alone, only to be used and abused by people for popularity, to achieve dreams he didn’t even want for himself. All while Yuuri was being pampered by everyone around him.

“I never want you to think you can’t tell me things because you think it’ll change how I see you, or because you think it’ll bore you, or for whatever reason your silly head is telling you.” Yuuri pulled away, kissing Victor’s forehead before leaning up on his tiptoes to press his forehead against Victor’s, hands cupping his cheeks.

And that’s when Victor broke down, and Yuuri knew he’d finally torn down that wall of steel. This was the first time Yuuri had really seen him cry and pour out his feelings. Victor’s forehead fell against Yuuri’s shoulder as he held onto him. The world stopped around them, and suddenly everyone around them disappeared.

“It’s okay, Vitya.” Yuuri ran his hand up and down his back in a soothing manner. Yuuri let Victor cry until he had no tears and his head hurt.

“Sorry… I ruined your shirt.”

“I don’t care about my shirt. Do you feel better?” Victor nodded. Yuuri hadn’t realised how many insecurities Victor had, but he felt that maybe, just maybe, he could help Victor just as much as he’d helped Yuuri.

Chapter Text

“I know what,” Yuuri said, capturing Victor’s attention. “We’ll go food shopping, then go home and cuddle. We’ll make some hot chocolate and eat those cakes and pastries we bought home, and you can take me to the rink later.” Yuuri said, putting a soft smile on Victor’s face. “I can tell you aren’t really feeling up to being social at the moment.”

“I… Yeah. Yeah, we’ll do that.” Victor smiled tenderly. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise.” Yuuri squeezed Victor’s hand. “Where do you normally like to go food shopping?” Yuuri asked, trying to pull Victor from his distant thoughts.

“I erm… I never really go food shopping so… I know there are a few supermarkets round here but I couldn’t really tell you where’s good and where’s not though.” Victor chuckled, and Yuuri mentally facepalmed. Of course, because Victor had a dietician to send him food.

“We’ll need to get some home supplies too.” Yuuri pointed out, swinging their intertwined hands back and forth as they walked down the street. “Things to make it homey.”

“Oh! Shall we have a look in here? I know Yakov likes to shop here.” Victor led them into a large supermarket, and in the last two days, this was the first time Yuuri has realised that everything was in Cyrillic. He let out a squeak at his very blond, very late realisation.

“What’s wrong?” Victor asked, turning to Yuuri with a raised brow.

“I just realised everything is in Cyrillic… I don’t read Cyrillic…” Yuuri blushed, embarrassed because now Victor probably thought he was an idiot for not realising earlier.

Victor, confused at first, broke out into laughter.
“That’s what I’m here for, isn’t it?” Victor chuckled, watching Yuuri’s flustered face pout.

“I just feel a bit useless not being able to read anything, but I suppose I could have a good guess!” Yuuri sheepishly smiled with a soft chuckle, scratching the back of his neck.

“You’re not useless, my love. Here, I’ll teach you along the way.” Victor said as they walked into the supermarket. “Look, these are “yaytsa”, eggs.” Victor said, picking up a box of eggs to put in the basket.

“Y-yaytsa…?” Yuuri repeated with a finger on his lip, trying to get to grips with the Russian accent.

“Yeah. Yaytsa. Remember that, I’ll test you later!” Victor joked before moving on. Yuuri looked around at the shelves stacked high with household items. He wandered off to the kitchen isle, having a peek at some of the bowls and plates.

Yuuri’s eyes sparkled looking at the home items. It must have just been the thought of really living with Victor. Maybe that reality was finally setting in – for the longest time Yuuri dreamt of settling down somewhere with a partner, but obviously that had been shattered. This was his chance for that to come true. He was picking out home items and food shopping with his partner in their new home.
He gaped at the array of bowls and plates and cutlery, looking for a colour scheme that suited their new penthouse.

“Is there a particular colour you want?” Victor asked, arms coming up behind him to wrap around his torso. Yuuri jolted a little in surprise at the soft voice in his ear before relaxing.

“Vitya.” He smiled up in surprise. “I’m thinking of something to match our apartment… it’s mainly white and grey so maybe slate coloured dishes would be good?” Yuuri said reaching for a large box of plates and bowls.

“You’re the one with a better artistic eye, my sweet, so I trust your instincts.” Victor then looked at the Cyrillic on the side of the box and he pointed at it. “Tarelki. Dishes.”

“Ta… relki?” Yuuri repeated with a finger to his lip, looking up at Victor with gorgeous, beady eyes. God, Victor was falling so much deeper in love.

“Yeah. Tarelki. What was the word for eggs?” Yuuri thought for a moment.

“Yaytsa.”

“Good. You can have a kiss as a reward.” Victor chuckled, audibly smooching a giggling Yuuri on the cheek.
———————————————————
After a successful food shop and a home item haul, Victor was in a much better mood and Yuuri had a slightly more advanced Russian vocabulary.

“So. Shall we drop the stuff off and head to the rink?” Yuuri asked, holding a large bag in each hand as Victor too, had a large bag in each hand. Now they might have regretted walking instead of taking the car. “We’ll take Makkachin too, if that’s okay!” Yuuri suggested.

“Sounds like a plan! We’re not supposed to have pets inside the rink but I’m sure Yakov can make an exception. I normally have to tie him outside. My poor fur baby!” Victor dramatically sighed, one hand on his forehead as he pretended to faint. Yuuri giggled.

“You’re cute.” Yuuri smiled cutely before grabbing Victor’s hand. “Come on you dramatic dork, let’s head home.”

After a seemingly long trek home, Victor and Yuuri gathered in their sunken sofa to cuddle, Makkachin joining them. Victor rested his head on Yuuri’s lap, releasing an exasperated sigh before closing his eyes. Yuuri places a hand on his head and began softly carding his hands through the soft slate locks.

“Are you feeling better now?” Yuuri asked, thumbs lightly feeling the roots of Victor’s platinum hair.

“Yeah. Thank you, Yuuri.” Victor reaches for Yuuri’s hand, lacing their fingers together tightly. “When do you wanna head to the rink?” Yuuri asked, bright eyes looking up at Yuuri.

“Whenever you want.”
———————————————————
“VITYA!” A loud gruff voice bellowed across the rink as Victor walked in.

“Oh! Yako—“

“NO DOGS IN THE RINK!” He snarled, but Victor was completely unfazed.

“Aww, but I couldn’t leave Makkachin at home alone, especially since she knew Yuuri was coming too!” Victor sheepishly grinned.

“KEEP YOUR MUTT AWAY FROM ME.” Another loud voice screeched across the rink, and a head of blond hair came flying to the edge of the rink.

“Not you, Yuri, Yuuri!” Yuuri stepped out from behind Makkachin, already almost about to belt for the door as he stood with Makkachin at his feet.

“HUH?! He has the same name as me!” Yuri growled, clenching his fists as his eyebrow twitched. Yuuri was looking more than a little pale.

“Sorry, Yuuri.” Victor sighed softly. “This guy’s been hit by hormones.” Victor joked with a smirk. “Just a bit on the aggressive side but he doesn’t bite.”

“You basta—“

“Yuri Plisetsky!” Oh great, another stern voice in the rink. “Watch your mouth.” A tall woman stalked into the rink from the corridor, heels echoing as they hit the floor. Her hair was pulled back and tight, up in a ballerina bun, her facial features sharp and eyes piercing.

“Vitya. I haven’t seen you in the studio in a while. I suggest you get back there soon.” She said, obviously hinting that Victor had been skiving sessions.

“Sorry Ma’am, I’ve been busy moving.”

“Moving?”

“Yes. I moved house just yesterday to welcome my gorgeous boyfriend, Yuuri.” Yuuri have a wave and a smile as Victor wrapped his arm around his waist.

“Yuuri Katsuki. It’s a pleasure. I look forward to seeing you in my class.” That’s when Yuuri has that sudden realisation. It clicked. This was Madame Baranovskaya. Of course! How did he not recognise her immediately? He squeaked, feeling himself jolt and his face heat up.

“P-pleaded to meet you, Ma’am! I’m looking forward to… working with you.” He said shyly with a soft smile, just the corner of his lips turning up, accompanied by a bow. At that, she turned her attention to Yuri.

“Yuri Plisetsky. Here.” Immediately the blond’s spine straightened and he skated over. Yuuri watched, mesmerised at the fact that there was no back chat. As if Victor were a mind reader, he said “I think he’s scared of her – she’s the only person he doesn’t screech at.” Victor chuckled.

“He gives me bad vibes.” Yuuri pouted softly.

“He’s a huge softy at heart, he’ll get used to you soon.” Victor smiled.

“How long do you tend to spend at the rink?” Yuuri asked, intrigued to know first hand what Victor’s training life was like.

“Only about three hours a day, excluding Sundays, in the off season. In the on season, I tend to spend about seven to eight hours a day, with lunch in between. I obviously won’t skate for hours, but I might do some work with Lilia, some body conditioning, and working with some of the juniors if I get a bit tired. I tend to only work in thirty minute blocks and then I take a quick break.” It seemed like maybe Yuuri was going to be a little more lonely during the skating season. Oh well – it’s not like he wasn’t already used to it. Who knows, maybe his schedule at the dance studio would keep him busy too.

“Wow, that’s a long time. I’m glad you have Sundays off at least.” Yuuri chuckled. “Maybe we could have Sundays together to do something.” Yuuri suggested. “Oh, but I suppose when it’s the skating season you’ll probably need Sundays, won’t you?” Yuuri sighed thoughtfully. “Though maybe—“ that’s when Yuuri noticed Victor staring at him. He squeaked, face flushing slightly pink. “Sorry for rambling! I—“ Victor cut him off with a kiss.

“You’re god damn adorable, you know. Of course I’ll spend all Sunday every Sunday I can with you.” Victor chuckled before that same gruff voice of Yakov interrupted their musings.

“Vitya! Get out if you’re not skating!”

“Yes, yes!” Victor called back before turning to Yuuri. “There’s a few more people I want you to meet, but I suppose you could come back when I next come to practice. And you can watch me!” Victor said excitedly, throwing his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders.

“I’d love to watch you, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled lovingly before picking up Makkachin’s lead. “Shall we head home, then?” And oh, how the word “home” made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. It made his heart leap and his eyes glow and his face smile.

Chapter Text

Victor stared at the gleaming silver ring on Yuuri’s finger and he reached his hand out to touch the cool metal. He smiled, pulling the ring back slightly to see the word “always” pressed into the skin of Yuuri’s finger. Victor remembered the look on Yuuri’s face when he first saw the rings, the tears streaming down his face.
———————————————————
July 21st, 2016 – Yuuri’s Graduation Day.

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Victor teased, his fingers brushing through Yuuri’s hair.

“Morning… Yuuri replied sleepily. “Kiss,” he demanded, tilting his head up.

“Yes, my darling.” Victor chuckled, capturing Yuuri’s soft lips with his own. Victor smiled into the kiss before pulling away, remembering something.

“Before I forget, I bought you a graduation present—“ Victor leaned over the edge of the bed to pull his jacket up from the floor. From the pocket, he carefully pulled out a black, velvet box. “This is for you.” He opened the box and pulled the ring out. Yuuri couldn’t stop staring at the beautiful platinum band.

“For me?”

“Pass me your right hand.” Yuuri slowly presented his right hand, waiting in anticipation for Victor to slip the ring on. “A promise ring, if you will, for my beautiful Yuuri. I got myself one too.” Victor’s forehead gently tapped Yuuri’s as he smiled. Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears falling.

“Can I put yours on?” Victor nodded and plucked the second ring from the box, handing it to Yuuri. Yuuri’s shaky fingers took the ring in one hand, and Victor’s hand in the other. His cold fingertips touched Victor’s warmth as he slid the ring to the base of his finger.

“They’re beautiful.” Yuuri marvelled at the cold metal gradually warming from his finger.

“Perfectly complimentary to you, my love.”
———————————————————
Victor’s little memory was interrupted when soft, big eyes fluttered open. Hazel orbs gleamed in the sunlight, staring back at Victor, whose hand was still fiddling with Yuuri’s.

“Happy first anniversary, my sweet.” Victor tenderly smiled, his hand releasing Yuuri’s and coming up to cup his cheek gently.

“Happy anniversary, Vitya. The first of many.” Yuuri let out a soft giggle at the feel of Victor’s hand against his cheek, his hand coming up to cover Victor’s. “I got you a present. Do you want it now?”

“Funnily enough, I got you one too.” Victor chuckled. “You first.” Yuuri nodded and reached under the bed. Carefully, he pulled up a large scrapbook.

“I had some troubles deciding, so I came up with this. I erm… hope you like it?” Yuuri smiled sheepishly, watching Victor’s face light up as he opened it.

The cover was a brown leatherette cover, all handmade and the spine held by bolts to add more pages in. Victor opened the first page, and the first image as the very first picture Victor and Yuuri had ever taken together; “Our first picture together! 20th December, 2015.” The image was of Yuuri and Victor on a day out in the park, Makkachin between them as Yuuri seemed to have been caught off guard. He read the second part of the caption; “Remember this? Makkachin almost jumped into that lake!” Victor smiled at the memory and flicked the page. This time it was a picture of Victor, knelt down next to Makkachin and giving her a fuss. Yuuri was stood leaning over the small table in the kitchen, watching them. “25th December, 2015. That time you didn’t tell me it was your birthday!” Victor cringed at the memory slightly, but laughed.

“But you know that’s my birthday now, right?” He asked and Yuuri huffed.

“Of course I do, you dork.”
It didn’t take Victor long to realise that the scrapbook was full of every single picture they’d ever taken together, but this one stood out the most. The picture was an Instagram screen cap, more specifically, the picture where Victor first introduced Yuuri as his boyfriend.

Victor and Yuuri were wearing matching hats and scarves, Victor’s soft lips against Yuuri’s pillowy cheek as they smiled contently, and Makkachin slotted in between them. Yuuri even included the caption Victor had put with the photo;

@v-nikiforov; in spite of recent events, both me and my love have decided it would be best to introduce you all. This beautiful man is the love of my life, the man who stole my heart, and the man who all of you have been so eager to meet. He has been my biggest and best support, the most important person in my life, but also, my inspiration. He’s beautiful, elegant, and everything I could ever want. He’s been so patient with me, he’s been simply amazing. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him wrapped in my arms. Everyone, meet Yuuri Katsuki, the love of my life ♡

“This one is one of my favourites. I love your added caption too.” Victor chuckled, reading the caption out loud – “16th March, 2016 – the day I stole Victor Nikiforov from the world. I love you to the stars and back.” Victor could have sworn he was almost in tears. “And guess what?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m finally spending the rest of my life with you wrapped in his arms.” Yuuri’s eyes widened into an adorable expression, mouth gaping as he realised that yes, Victor Nikiforov was going to spend the rest of his life with him. Yuuri’s arms came around Victor’s waist, his head coming to rest on Victor’s shoulder.

“I love you.”

“I love you more, my sweet.” Victor kissed the top of his head. “Oh,” Victor opened the drawer to the bedside cabinet, releasing Yuuri. He pulled out an envelope. “Open it.” He said, passing it to a confused Yuuri.

Yuuri took the white envelope and turned it over, reading it. “To My Dearest,” he read, “Now you can introduce me to the wonderful parents who brought you to me.” Yuuri’s breath hitched and his head whipped to face Victor who smiled softly. “You… you didn’t… did you?” Yuuri could feel soft tears filling his eyes, the corners of his lips forming upwards.

“You know I’d give you the moon if you asked.” Yuuri was speechless, his mouth hung open and small tears fell down his cheeks, hitting the blankets. His fingertips opened the envelope and pulled out two sheets of paper, each with a boarding pass on. “I wasn’t sure how long for so I hope one and a half weeks is alright? If it’s not I can change our flights, oh, I wasn’t sure if your parents would mind if we stayed so I booked a hotel but if you let your parents know and they’re alright I can cancel that too, or if you—“

“It’s perfect, Vitya. One and a half weeks is perfect.” Yuuri couldn’t stop smiling. “God I’m so happy it’s been five years and I’ve never been able to afford to come home but…” Yuuri’s hands covered his face and his head fell on Victor’s shoulder once more. “God I love you so much.” Yuuri huffed, reaching to press kisses to Victor’s face, slowly moving to his lips.

Victor smiled, returning the soft kisses and wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist.
“I love you too, my sweet.” Victor squeezed his arms around Yuuri, pulling him into his lap for another kiss. “Mmh.” Victor moaned lowly. “Mmh, not now.” Victor pulled away with one last peck you Yuuri’s lips. “I booked us a nice hotel for that later.” Victor huffed, smiling at Yuuri’s red cheeks.

“V-Vitya?”

“Hotel and spa to be precise. With an in-room hot tub and jacuzzi.” Victor winked.

“We have those at home.” Yuuri giggled.

“Yeah, but it’s no fun when we have to clean up after ourselves, is it?” Yuuri squeaked, blushing further at Victor’s suggestion. “Yuri will be taking Makkachin in a bit, so we can head to the hotel in a bit. I wasn’t sure if you’d like a massage because I didn’t know how you felt about being touched, so I didn’t book one, is that okay?”

“That’s perfectly fine, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled. He was starting to feel a little guilty – Victor had put so much into their anniversary present, but Yuuri just had a scrapbook. Without even realising it, Yuuri’s face became contoured with soft frown lines.

“What’s wrong, Yuuri?” Victor asked, watching as the creases in Yuuri’s face softened out a little.

“Nothing I… you… you put so much into my anniversary gift and our date night that I just… never mind.” Yuuri mumbled with a frustrated sigh as he struggled to string sentences together.

Victor tugged Yuuri into his lap, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on his shoulder.
“It doesn’t matter how much you spent on me. You put so much time and effort into making a scrapbook and logging all the pictures we take together and everything that happens in our lives. It’s such a beautiful and fun and creative idea.” Victor kissed the tip of Yuuri’s ear, fingers moving up to play with his hair. “Any gift from you is a great gift, regardless.” Yuuri sighed.

“I just don’t feel like I put enough in.”

“Yuuri Katsuki, my darling daisy, my sweetling. Like I said, monetary value means nothing to me. I love to spoil you rotten, but you already know that. It doesn’t mean that you have to break a leg to give me back every penny I’ve ever spent on you, you don’t have to do that, okay?” Victor continued to fiddle with Yuuri’s hair, his soft voice soothing Yuuri’s racing heart. “In fact, I don’t want you to do that. I just want you to be you. I love our little scrapbook. I can’t wait to put more of our adventures in it, I really can’t. My gift will last you one and a half weeks, but yours will last us forever.” Yuuri tucked his face into Victor’s neck, sighing contently.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be silly. Let’s enjoy our day, yeah?”
———————————————————
Victor sat in the hot tub in the corner of their premium suite, Yuuri sat between his legs. His arms wrapped around Yuuri’s toned waist as bubbles popped through the hot water. Yuuri’s head leant back against Victor’s chest, staring up at turquoise irises.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” Victor said, fingertips drawing little patterns cross Yuuri’s hip and waist.

“No, I don’t. Tell me again.” Yuuri smiled cheekily up at Victor, his hand coming to rest on top of Victor’s own.

“You’re beautiful. You’re gorgeous. You’re all those wonderful adjectives and I look at you like you hung every star in the sky.” Victor’s nose brushed against Yuuri’s hair, his arms squeezing his waist. “I honestly believe that holiday to Japan was the best decision of my life. I can’t wait to marry you, to have kids with you, to watch our kids grow up with you, to retire with you.” Victor continued, every word overfilling Yuuri’s heart with love.

“Show me.” Yuuri demanded quietly.

“Oh? Is this Yuuri Katsuki‘s way of asking for sex?” Victor chuckled, but to his surprise, Yuuri nodded instead of blushing.

“Yes.”

Victor immediately stood and climbed out of the tub and picked Yuuri up. Instinctively Yuuri’s legs wrapped around Victor’s waist, allowing him to carry Yuuri to the bed. Victor tossed him down onto the bed and Yuuri’s back landed with a soft thump as Victor moved between Yuuri’s legs, lifting one leg up onto each of his thighs.

“How does my love want it tonight?” Victor asked, and Yuuri put a finger to his lip, humming teasingly, pretending to think.

“I think I want my handsome man to love me slowly tonight.” Victor nodded.

“As you wish.” Victor leaned down to capture Yuuri’s plush lips into a passionate kiss, his tongue swiping over Yuuri’s lower lip before pulling away. Immediately his lips found themselves back on Yuuri’s lips, pressing soft and delicate smooches together. “You’re utterly adorable.” Victor said, his lips beginning to work down his jaw.

Soft kisses decorated Yuuri’s skin, one prominent red mark just on the crook of his neck stood out, bound to turn purple later. Victor’s hands roamed Yuuri’s chest, feeling the relatively toned muscle. Victor’s tongue reached Yuuri’s nipples, pink and peaked. His tongue swiped large strokes over the left nipple, coating it in saliva, watching as Yuuri whimpered under him.

“V-Vitya…” Yuuri whimpered, his fingers clutching onto the soft hotel bedsheets.

“Yes, my sweet?”

“Touch me… down…” Yuuri spreads his knees a little further apart, making it obvious where he wants Victor to touch. Victor, unable to resist an adorable Yuuri, placed both palms on the insides of Yuuri’s thighs, spreading them further apart.

“Pass me the lube?” Yuri reached for the bedside cabinet, grasping the lube to pass it to Victor. “Let me know if it hurts.” Victor smiled lovingly, opening the lube to squeeze a generous amount onto his fingertips.

“You never hurt me, Vitya. Don’t worry.” And god, Yuuri’s beautiful smile did wild things to Victor’s heart, and Victor wanted nothing more than for Yuuri to feel good. Unable to form any words, Victor nodded with a tender smile.

Victor touched the pad of his finger against Yuuri’s pink hole, watching as Yuuri shuddered at the cold lube, his hole twitching against his finger. With a bit of pressure, the tip of his finger pushed in, slowly inching in.

“Ahh…” Yuuri closed his eyes, releasing a pleased sigh as Victor’s finger withdrew, pushing in once more. “M-more…” Yuuri breathed deeply, holding his breath as Victor pushed in a second finger. Yuuri’s breath hitched, his hands gripping the bedsheets.

Victor pumped his fingers slowly, spreading them each time he pulled out, smirking at Yuuri’s soft mewls. He crooked his fingers upwards, just brushing against Yuuri’s sweet spot, feeling for the edge of the hard nub.

“Nngh! Ahh! Ooh… oh…” Yuuri’s thighs quaked and his hips jerked, back arching as bolts of electricity surged through his body. “There… feels good…” Yuuri mumbled, beady eyes opening to stare back at Victor. Victor’s heart leaped at Yuuri’s glazed eyes, a smile breaking out on his face.

Victor pushed a third finger in, fingertips forced against Yuuri’s prostate as Yuuri wailed out loud, his body shuddering and his dick leaking a steady stream from the red tip. Yuuri clenched his teeth, groaning as he squeezed a pillow against his chest. Yuuri’s legs were trembling atop of Victor’s thighs as Victor’s free hand squeezed the plush meat of Yuuri’s thighs, hiding his toned muscles. Victor’s fingers slid out and he watched Yuuri’s hole, now slightly gaped, flutter, eager to be filled. It leaked with lube, now glistening and shiny and Victor just couldn’t tear his eyes away.

“Vitya…” Yuuri’s thighs spread further apart, more lube trickling down his ass and onto the bed. “Please…” Victor smiled softly and planted both hands on Yuuri’s hips. He lined the tip of his member up, pressing ever so slightly and watching as Yuuri’s puffy rim twitched against his tip, almost trying to suck him in. “Don’t tease me…” Yuuri moaned, his hips pushing back against Victor.

Smirking, Victor down, hands by the side of Yuuri’s head and he pushed in. Yuuri’s hands flew up to Victor’s back, breath hitching and nails digging in.
“Ahhhhhhh…” Yuuri released a drawn out moan as Victor penetrated him inch by inch, stopping half way. They had had sex multiple times, but still, each time felt like the first. Yuuri would never get used to the feeling of having Victor inside, he always felt so full when he first went in.

“Okay?”

“Y-yeah… just… stuffed.” Yuuri weakly huffed in an attempt to crack a joke.

Victor chuckled before pushing in the rest of his length until it was all the way in. Yuuri released a heavy breath of relief as he let go of Victor’s neck, head falling back into the bed. Victor dared to take a glance down at where they were connected, immediately growing even harder as he watched the pink rim stretch around his girth, squeezing tightly.

“Ooh! You got… bigger…!” Yuuri squeaked with a gasp, watching as Victor blushed.

“I can’t help it, you’re just too cute.” Victor chuckled. “Are you ready?” Yuuri’s head nodded quickly.

“You can move.” Yuuri closed his eyes as Victor began to move slowly, his hands holding onto Yuuri’s hips with a tight grip. “Ahh… nghh… oh god…” Yuuri keened and moaned as he felt the sensation of Victor’s girth stretching and touching every sensitive spot inside him. “Mhm…”

Victor’s hips began to pick up the pace, moving ever so slightly faster. Within a few hard thrusts, he found Yuuri’s favourite spot.

“Ahh! Oh! V-Vitya! There!” Yuuri squeezed tightly around Victor, his back arching as Victor continued to abuse his prostate. “Oh god!” Victor loved the faces and sounds Yuuri made, he loved knowing how good he made Yuuri feel. Victor’s hands hooked under Yuuri’s thighs, tugging them up and dragging him down the bed. Victor leaned down, his face nearly touching Yuuri’s. Yuuri immediately jolted forwards, capturing Victor’s lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

“I’m gonna come…” Yuuri heavily breathed, panting against Victor’s lips. “Come with me…” Yuuri demanded weakly, squeezing tightly around Victor.

“Nghh…” Victor groaned lowly, his teeth attaching themselves to Yuuri’s collarbone, and god, if people could purr, Yuuri would be one purring mess.

“V-vit… Vitya!” Yuuri’s legs tightly clenched around Victor’s hips, his whole body shaking as semen splattered between their chests, and landing right over Yuuri’s nipple.

“Shit…” Victor swore under his breath as Yuuri tightened around him. With another deep moan against Yuuri’s neck and heavy breaths tickling his chest, Victor came, heat spreading through Yuuri’s stomach.

“Ahh…” Yuuri moaned as Victor came, hear filling him as he moved one hand to his lower belly. “I love you too… Vitya…” Yuuri fell limp against the bed, Victor leaning up to pepper soft butterfly kisses against his temples, his forehead, and his cheeks. Slowly, he pulled out, leaning back with a gentle sigh.

His eyes caught sight of Yuuri’s rim, now red and wet and puffy. White cream dribbled out of the gaping hole, squeezing out as Yuuri clenched. Slowly, Victor’s thumb pressed against Yuuri’s hole and pushed in.

“V-Vitya! W-what are you—“

“Sorry I couldn’t help it…” Victor pulled his thumb back out, tracing around the sensitive edge of his hole and spreading the semen. Slowly, he bought his thumb up to Yuuri’s plush lips. Yuuri, with side eyes, parted his lips to suck on the tip of Victor’s thumb.

“God you’re so sexy.” Yuuri whimpered at the praise as Victor laid down next to him, pulling him into an embrace. “Sleep now, shower later.”

Chapter Text

“You’ll be great, Yuuri. You really will. Lilia seems scary at first but I promise you, she’s amazing. Like a mentor, if you will.” Yuuri was trembling and so so nervous. “Don’t forget, just be yourself. She’ll love you, she really will!” Yuuri nodded, taking a deep breath. “Anxiety meds?” Yuuri nodded. “Antidepressants?” Yuuri nodded again. “Dance belt?” Another nod. “Dance wear?” One more nod. “Ballet shoes?” Yuuri nodded again. “Great. You’ll be wonderful, Yuuri, don’t worry. She really is the best.”

“Thank you, Vitya. God I’m so nervous.” Yuuri took a deep breath.

“It is scary at first, but you’ll fall into routine quickly. I’ll walk you to and from the studio until you know the way, how does that sound?” Victor offered, grabbing his skating back from by the door. “And we’ll walk Makkachin when we get home.”

“I’d appreciate that. Oh god I’m terrified!” Yuuri’s hands were pale and shaking as he clutched his bag.

“This is your dream, Yuuri. Don’t forget. Hey, if she likes you enough maybe you can ask her for a key to the studio so you can use it when you like.” Victor patted Yuuri’s back as they left the apartment.

The walk to the studio was virtually silent, Yuuri’s cold palm rested against Victor’s own and Victor could feel the soft tremors against his hand. When they reached the studio Yuuri looked like he was going to cry.

“You’ve already met her before, so just be calm. When you get through the door tell the receptionist who you are and she’ll take you from there.” Yuuri nodded his head courtly, squeezing the handles of his bag. “Good luck kiss?” Victor pouted his lips and Yuuri chuckled, kissing him gently. “I’ll pick you up when you phone.” Victor smiled.

“Thanks, Vitya. I’ll see you then.” Yuuri smiled back, waving as Victor made his way to the rink.

With his head held high and a new found determination, Yuuri entered the building. Remembering Victor’s instruction, he walked up to the receptionist.
“Umm… Hello, I’m Yuuri Katsuki, I’m supposed to be starting classes today?” His voice was small and shy, and he just felt vulnerable.

The receptionist looked down her list.
“Ahh yes, come and follow me.” She came around the desk and gestures for Yuuri to follow her. “When you get there Madame will give you your timetable. You can also come in during out of hours as long as you let her know. The locker rooms are here to your left…” she pointed at a door on the left of the corridor. “The toilets are to the right, here, and up ahead is the studio, where you will be dancing. It’s very rare for you to change studio or practice elsewhere so you can see this as your home base.” Yuuri nodded dumbly as he stood outside the door. “Well, good luck.”

“Thank you.” Yuuri took a deep breath and pushed open the double door to the studio. Lilia looked up from her desk in the corner of the studio.

“Yuuri Katsuki. Great to see you again.” Lilia stood up tall and stalked over to him, heels echoing as her shoes hit the hard wood floors.

“I-it’s lovely to see yourself too, Madame Baranovskaya.” Yuuri shyly spoke, stumbling over his own words.

“Here’s your timetable. Most days you will be with a class for two hours. Then, the rest of the time table tends to be relatively open unless you are cast for a show. You may use the studio as you please as long as you let me know beforehand that you’re coming. When you’re not in a class but you wish to stay you can use the other half of the studio just through that door there. Make sure to turn the sign to “occupied”.” Lilia handed him his timetable before continuing. “When you are cast for a show you will receive another time table that is complimentary to your current timetable. Again, if you wish to practice alone you may use the other half of the studio. The studio is open until six in the evening, and opens at seven in the morning, so feel free to come in whenever you please. Any questions?” Yuuri thought for a moment.

“Not at the moment, thank you Madame.”

“Great. Head to the changing rooms to get changed, and then come back. You can use the studio to dance alone for now whilst the rest of the class arrives. There are only four other people in your class so hopefully it won’t be too much pressure. The code to the changing room is 2506.” Yuuri nodded with a soft smile and turned to make his way to the changing room.

His heart was racing, god, that was nerve wracking. Yuuri punched the code into the door and opened it, pushing the door open. He sat down on the bench and rested his head in his hands, trying to pull his thoughts together. Wow. This was really happening. Yuuri quickly got changed and shoved his things in a locker, taking only his phone with him. With his ballet shoes in one hand and his phone in another Yuuri returned to the studio.

“Other than ballet do you do any other type of dance, Yuuri?” Lilia asked upon Yuuri’s return.

“Oh, erm… yes, I also do contemporary dancing, and I did some pole dancing whilst in university as well.” Yuuri smiled.

“Your contemporary dance skills will be useful through this course.” Yuuri nodded, and right at that moment, another student walked in. Yuuri took the time to stretch whilst Lilia gave the next student the same pep talk.

Not long later the whole class of six people had arrived.

“It’s been lovely meeting you all. I’m going to start by assessing where each of you stands in terms of skill set, so your first assignment is to put together a two minute piece for me to assess.” Yuuri nodded, already beginning to gather ideas. “You may also include elements of other dance types if it adds to the piece. Now, pair up. You’re going to have to get to know each other to be able to work together.”

Yuuri stood, a little bit clueless as he watched everyone else pair up.
“Excuse me?” A voice spoke from next to him. “Do you… have a partner?” He asked. Oh thank God, someone who seemed just as shy as Yuuri.

“Oh, hey. No, no I don’t. May I?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m Mikhail. You don’t sound Russian, so I take it you’re from abroad?” The blond asked.

“Oh, no, I’m from Japan. I recently moved here.” Yuuri replied sheepishly. “I—“ Lilia clapped her hands to get the class’ attention.

“I’ve paired you up because you’re going to be seeing a lot of each other. This task is about creativity and improvising. I’m going to play a track and you have two minutes to brainstorm ideas. You will present the short piece to your partner to criticise.” Oh god, that seemed intimidating. Great, stumbling at the first hurdle. Yuuri took a deep breath. He improvised all the time, no different this time, right?

Lilia watched closely as each pair danced, taking down notes regarding technique, fluidity, and things like that. Something about Yuuri caught her eye, and it was something she also noticed in his audition tape. Yuuri tended to show no facial expressions when he danced, even though his body spoke volumes about how he felt. It was bizarre – normally bodily expressions and facial expressions came hand in hand, but for Yuuri they seemed detached. She turned most of her attention to Yuuri, and continued to observe him through the class. After class, she called him over.

“Yuuri, may I speak with you?” Oh god, they were the words Yuuri feared the most.

“Sure. Is there a problem?” He dared to ask, quickly making his way over.

“I’m not sure. I’ve noticed you seem to lack facial expressions when you dance, even though your body language is clear and emotive. It’s weird as the two normally come together.” Yuuri swallowed a lump in his throat. “You tend to let your mind wonder when you dance, don’t you? And you use dance as a way of relieving stress.” It was as if Yuuri were an open book.

“Yes, I do. How did you know?” Yuuri asked, his voice quiet as he anticipated an answer.

“I can see it in the way you move. Even though your face says nothing, your body tells anyone watching what you’re thinking about.” Lilia explained, her dark eyes burning holes into Yuuri’s own eyes as she stared intensely.

“O-oh… I will try to work on my facial expressions and keep my mind in the dance.”

“You are an excellent dancer, but expression is just as important as technique.” Yuuri just nodded dumbly. Oh man. She probably thought he was an idiot.

“Thank you, Madame.”

“You may go.” Yuuri nodded and made a run for the locker room, releasing a deep sigh of relief as he entered. He’d successfully made it through the first class.

Honestly though it wasn’t as stressful and scary as he’d first thought – he could get used to this.

To: Vitya <3
Just finished. Can you pick me up please?♡

From: Vitya <3
On my way! ♡

After Yuuri finished getting changed he waited patiently for Victor to arrive. He admired the beautiful St. Petersburg scenery, the slightly frosted March air brushing his face and cooling the tip of his nose. Just as he was lost in his thoughts, a head of silver locks came into view. He smiled, walking to meet Victor.

“So? How was it?” Victor asked, holding his hand out for Yuuri to take.

“Hi to you too.” Yuuri chuckled before responding. “It was nerve wracking, but not as scary as I thought it would be. I guess I just need to fall into routine.” Yuuri sighed contently as he stared at the sky.

“I take it you’re enjoying it? I’m glad. I can’t wait to see what you’ll be doing.” Victor smiled, swinging their arms together. “Lilia. She’s strict, but a really great teacher. You’ll learn a lot from her.”

“I wouldn’t say she’s strict, but she definitely is stern and knows how to teach. Never in a million years would I have ever imagined that I’d be able to learn from her.” Yuuri’s eyes glistened, the taste of a successful dance career and a dream coming true were on the tip of his tongue.
———————————————————
It only took Yuuri three weeks to fall into routine. Yuuri just wished the studio was open at night too. Yuuri dances up until closing time one night, just letting time fly by at his feet, until Lilia came into the studio.

“Yuuri. We’re closing up now, are you done?”

“Ahh, is it okay if I stay a little longer? Sorry if it’s inconvenient, I can go now if you want but I just want to finish off this bit and get it down.” Lilia softly sighed and Yuuri almost cringed. From her pocket, she pulled a key.

“I trust you to lock up once you’re done. Don’t forget to let Victor know you’ll be home late.” She said, stalking across the studio to pass him a key.

“Thank you, Madame. I’ll lock up once I’m done. See you tomorrow.” Yuuri smiled, taking the key gratefully.

“See you tomorrow.” She turned and headed back for the door. “And Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve heard you’re quite the night owl, so I trust that if you come at a ridiculous hour you’ll lock up then too.” Lilia said, opening the door to leave.

“Does that mean I can…”

“The key is yours.” Yuuri’s face lit up.

“Thank you, Madame! Good night.”

“Good night.” Yuuri quickly pulled his phone out to shoot a text to Victor.

To: Vitya <3
Guess who got a key of Madame! I’ll be home about 7. Love you!

From: Vitya <3
Congrats! You’re in her good books! Alright, I’ll take note. You know I can’t cook so I’ll order in for when you get home. Love you too!

Yuuri was exhausted by the time he finished dancing. He checked the time – 6.40pm. He untied his pumps and slipped them off. Yuuri got through way more pairs of ballet pumps now in Russia than he did in Japan. Firstly because a lot of the time, in Japan, he did contemporary dance too, and only for an hour or two a day. But now, dancing took up a much bigger part of his day, spending anywhere from six to eight hours a day at the studio on weekdays.

Pumps lasted Yuuri at least two weeks before they had to be replaced, but now he could get through three to four pairs in a week. Yuuri looked at his feet. Every day there were fresh wounds and blisters from his pumps, cuts layered upon scarred tissue. He sighed. He’d have to soak his feet when he got home. Yuuri decided that tomorrow, contemporary dancing it was. His feet needed a rest – maybe he wouldn’t even stay after hours tomorrow.

The transition from doing ballet for two hours every few days to doing it for six hours every day was excruciating. His feet were aching and bruised and swollen, far more than they used to be. Yuuri frowned at the ugly scars. At the hideous cuts and the gruesome blisters. He couldn’t look at them anymore. Quickly, he slipped his shoes on and headed home instead.

When Yuuri finally made it home he climbed into the sofa and just collapsed, Makkachin jumping down to join him.
“Dinner will be here soon. Are you alright?” Victor asked the marshmallow lump with a chuckle.

“Feet hurt…” Yuuri mumbled, and Victor laughed slightly, coming to join Yuuri.

“Would you like a foot massage?” The question made Yuuri think even more about how horrible his feet were. The patchy coloured bruises, the scarred tissue, the scabbing cuts, the— “Yuuri?” Victor interrupted his train of thought. “Are you alright?” Yuuri nodded. “Would you like a foot massage?” The repeated question caused Yuuri to tug his knees up to his chest in an attempt to hide his feet.

“No… please don’t…” Victor sighed, but just came behind him and hugged him by the waist.

“Is something on your mind? You’re never normally this quiet, even when you’re tired.” Victor asked, but Yuuri shook his head. “You don’t have to tell me what you’re thinking about, if you don’t want to.”

“I just think my feet are hideous and you shouldn’t have to even look at them, let alone touch them. They’re battered and bruised and all weird looking and—“ Victor cut him off with a soft kiss.

“Every part of you is beautiful. Whether it’s odd coloured or weird feeling or scarred or whatever, every part of you is beautiful.” Victor sat up and reached a hand down to Yuuri’s bare foot, freezing as Yuuri tensed. “May I?” Hesitantly, Yuuri nodded.

“Look at this scar.” Yuuri didn’t need to look to know which one. “What’s this scar from?” Victor asked, tracing his finger over the textured flesh.

“Breaking into new dance pumps.” Yuuri answered, wondering what the purpose of this conversation was.

“How about this one, what’s this blister from?” Victor asked, his finger touching over the raised bump smooth skin, circling it gently.

“The backs of my dance pumps.” Yuuri answered once more.

“And here, what’s this from?” Victor asked, his fingers touching a cut on his toe.

“My pointe shoes.”

“Do you see, Yuuri?” Now Yuuri was confused.

“See what?” Yuuri sat up to stare back into cerulean pearls.

“Each scar has a story. Whether it’s as small a story as just getting new pumps, or if it’s a big story like cutting your feet on the wood of your pointe shoes. This is a diary of your hard work. You see these as ugly, but do you know what I see?” Yuuri looked like a lost puppy, with big, beady eyes. Victor didn’t give him a chance to answer before responding. “I see success. I see an archive of each bit that has lead to where you are now. You are beautiful, Yuuri. You may doubt it yourself, but please don’t doubt me when I tell you.” Yuuri was speechless. He’d certainly never thought of them like that. Moreover, he never thought Victor would see them like that. Yuuri tugged Victor by the neck and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“Sorry I… I’ve just been feeling a bit out of it lately… especially about all my cuts and scars.” Yuuri sighed, his head falling on to Victor’s shoulder.

“That’s okay. It’s fine to feel that way. I’ll always be here to make you feel better.” Victor smiled, kissing the crown of Yuuri’s head.

“Mmh… my knight in shining armour.” Yuuri chuckled, lifting his head.

“Now, about that foot massage…”
———————————————————
“Yuuri, before you leave, may I speak with you?” Lilia asked, just as Yuuri was about to move into the other half of the studio.

“Sure.” Yuuri released the door handle and made his way over to Lilia.

“I have a proposal. You may decline, if you wish, but I believe you of all people would be best suited.” Yuuri waited eagerly to hear what Lilia wanted. “Would you like to help me teach a class of children? I know you have experience teaching children before, so I thought I would offer the job to you beforehand.”

Yuuri’s face lit up at the opportunity. Finally, he could earn something of his own after spending a month living virtually free lance with Victor. Teaching was something he loved doing, and Victor had always said he was great with kids anyway. It’d be no harm trying, right? At least he’d have a job.

“It will cut into your free time but I will be paying you eight hundred rubles an hour.”

“I’ll take it.” Yuuri immediately responded.

“Perfect. I will have you a new timetable made soon.” Yuuri nodded. “You may leave.”

“Thank you, Madame.” Yuuri was over the moon! Thinking about it now, he’d really missed teaching children. It’s been something he loved doing back in Japan and it was amazing to have another opportunity like that. He just hoped it’d go just as well in Russia as in Japan.

Chapter Text

“What if they don’t like me?” Yuuri asked, burying his face in his hands as he cuddled with Victor in the comfort of their sunken sofa. It was the day before Yuuri’s first day teaching, and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He was almost as nervous as when he first joined, because now, not only did he have to impress Madame Lilia, but he also had to impress and teach a group of three or four year old kids!

“I can’t name a single soul who doesn’t love you. You’ll be amazing, Yuuri, trust me.” Victor reassured, tangling his fingers in Yuuri’s hair. “You’ve taken huge leaps in the past few months. I’m really proud of you.” Victor smiled, kissing Yuuri’s hair whorl.

“Thank you…” Yuuri mumbled with a soft sigh. “I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere with my life, after so long.”

“You should be proud of yourself. Since we both have Sundays off, I’ll take you to dinner to celebrate your new job. We’ll go somewhere fancy, or we could go and watch a ballet, or we could do anything else you want.” But Yuuri shook his head, even after all the suggestions.

“Just being with you is enough. At most, we’ll cook something nice together and put on a movie.” Yuuri laughed weakly, his arms finally wrapping around Victor’s waist and tugging them even closer together. “Urgh. I feel sick to my stomach.” Yuuri grumbled, clutching his stomach.

“Would you like some moral support? I can ask Lilia if I can come in with you if you want?” Victor suggested, his hands running up and down Yuuri’s back. Yuuri thought for a moment before nodding.

“Could you, please.” But then, Yuuri thought a bit more. Isn’t that selfish, knowing Victor has training? “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t even be asking, you have practice and you should go.”

“I offered, don’t worry. I can afford to skip some practice to be there for you.” Victor reassured, kissing the top of Yuuri’s head.

“No, it’s selfish of me to ask. I shouldn’t need you to come in with me.” Yuuri sighed, snuggling up to Victor.

“Don’t be silly. I’ll ask Lilia, and if she approves, I’ll come and watch you.”
———————————————————
Yuuri changed into his leotard and occupied the studio an hour before his class to relieve some stress. He had a whole lesson planned out but something told him that it was not going to go to plan. Victor was stood in the corner of the studio, watching Yuuri before he approached him.

“May I dance with you?” Victor asked, grasping Yuuri’s two hands, one in each.

“You… Dance?” Yuuri asked, his voice small and eyebrow cocked as Victor chuckled. Yuuri had this adorable clueless expression and Victor couldn’t not kiss his cheeks.

“Lilia doesn’t just choreograph my skates, you know. I have learnt something whilst working with her, contrary to popular belief.” Yuuri chuckled.

“Then I suppose I don’t mind.” Yuuri chuckled, pulling Victor closer to him. “I never took you to be the dancing type you know. I always saw you as much less graceful, no offence.” Yuuri chuckled and Victor feigned a gasp, pretending to be offended.

“And there we have it! The love of my life has wounded me! How will I ever recover!” Yuuri snorted, playfully hitting Victor’s arm with the back of his hand.

“Love you, you dork.” Yuuri chuckled, pressing an audible kiss to Victor’s cheek as they danced to the music.

“How are you feeling?” Victor asked, his hands moving down to Yuuri’s lower back.

“Definitely, definitely still nervous. But much better, thanks to you.” Yuuri sighed happily, his heart feeling warm and fuzzy.

“Kids will start flowing in soon.” Victor released Yuuri’s hands and pressed a kiss you Yuuri’s button nose. “Good luck.”

“Thanks.” Yuuri sighed, releasing Victor who went to stand in the corner of the studio. “Love you.”

“Love you too, darling. You’ll be great.” Yuuri released one more sigh before he opened the studio door, propping it open with a door stopper.

Yuuri’s nerves faded quickly as he saw the children he would be teaching. Kids, around the ages of three to four, filed in with bright smiles and full of energy. Yuuri’s heart melted – he adored children and to be teaching them was a great feeling.

It wasn’t long before Yuuri encountered his first barrier – language. It didn’t take him long to realise that actually… everyone he’d needed to speak to spoke English, but… his class were all kids, unlikely to speak any English at all. Oh man. He already stumbled at the first hurdle trying to introduce himself and they’ve only just walked in! Determined to not screw up, he put his incredibly limited Russian to the test.

“U-um… Privyet, menya zovut Y-Yuuri… (Hi, my name is Yuuri.)” Yuuri looked to Victor for some kind of confirmation, and Victor smiled contently, reassuring Yuuri that he was doing well. It took Yuuri a long, long while to get into the swing of the class, trying not to trip up too much on his very weak Russian, as well as trying to keep up with what each child was saying.

“Sorry, could you speak slower please?” Soon became Yuuri’s new favourite phrase, albeit not by choice. He managed to set up a steady sequence of moves to follow, whilst trying to make sense of the rapid fire Russian from each child, until Victor decided to step in.

“Would you like me to translate?” He asked, but Yuuri frowned.

“I’d love to but you can’t translate all the time for me. I’ll figure it out.” Yuuri smiled as Victor stepped away. “Thank you.”

“Always.” Yuuri took another deep breath and tried again, once more, putting his limited Russian to the test. He actually did pretty well, for the most part, as his actions helped convey his message despite a language barrier. Yuuri had made it about half way through the lesson when he just couldn’t figure out how to tell his class what he wanted them to do. He tried to stick to simple words within his vocabulary, but alas, he was defeated.

“Vitya… could you…” Yuuri sighed with a pout.

“Sure can do.” Victor stepped forwards and Yuuri released a comforted breath as Victor began to translate what he said for him. Yuuri felt more at ease with Victor being able to help him, even though he’d made it through a lot of the class on his own, sometimes you needed the extra help, you know? It seemed to Yuuri that he had to brush up on his Russian – he’d have to ask Victor for that. See, it wasn’t naming moves or anything that was the difficult part, it was when he had to correct their posture that his words just got tangled in a big jumbled mess.

All the kids were a pleasure to teach, but one child in particular stood out to Yuuri. Alina was not just quiet, but also very shy and timid. Through out the whole class she hadn’t said a word to Yuuri or to anyone else. He’d noticed during group activities she would not speak to anyone, she just stood, staring at the floor.

Yuuri, determined to break through to her, walked over.
“Alina, te v poryadke? (Are you okay?)” Yuuri asked in slightly broken Russian as he knelt down to her, his knees hitting the floor as he looked up at her. Once more without a word, she simply nodded. “Khotitye prisoedyinitsya? (Do you want to join in?)” Hesitantly, she shook her head. Yuuri didn’t know what to do, and with pleading eyes, he looked to Victor for guidance. Victor moved from the wall and came over, kneeling down on one knee to look up at the girl.

“Chto-to ne tak? (Is something wrong?)” Victor asked, but again, she refused to look up at them, continuing to stare at the floor as she shook her head again. Victor looked at Yuuri, also not knowing what to do. They stood back up. “Maybe she’s just nervous.” Victor suggested with a soft sigh.

“I hope so…” Yuuri looked back at her with worry, and then back at the other kids who were happily engaging in group task. He decided to let it slip for now, concluding that she just wasn’t very familiar with the situation.

Yuuri continued to watch her through the following classes, but found that her behaviour remained the same. She would come in, silently follow Yuuri’s instructions to a T, but refused to engage with everyone else.

“Madame,” Yuuri approached Lilia after his own class a couple of weeks later.

“Is something the matter?”

“Yes. I… I am a bit worried about one of the children in my class, Alina? When I first started teaching I noticed that she didn’t want to participate with the others, and she didn’t speak at all. I thought she was just nervous but it’s been a few weeks now and still she hasn’t changed.” Yuuri explained as Lilia’s face remained expressionless.

“Naturally she will be quiet. Alina is an orphan, albeit not since birth. She lost her parents and sister in a car accident last year and you can probably see that she isn’t handling it particularly well.” Yuuri’s heart hurt and he gasped. “Her and her family were on the way to visit her grandmother when a car hit them. She lived with her grandmother for some months but then she was unable to take care of Alina.” No one as young as Alina should be left an orphan. He truly could not imagine what that would feel like. “I suggest you take your time with her.” That was all Lilia had to offer.

“O-oh… I didn’t… I didn’t know.” Yuuri replied dumbly because duh, of course he didn’t know. “I’ll keep that in mind, thank you Madame.” Yuuri smiled softly. “See you tomorrow.” Yuuri bid Lilia goodbye before leaving the studio for the day.

All the way home Yuuri felt like he was going to cry. His nose was glaring up and his cheeks heating, and he didn’t even realise it. She was so young – no one Alina’s should be losing parents. A part of Yuuri wondered how. He wondered if Alina had ever smiled since, especially since losing parents is the probably the most devastating and confusing trauma for a child. He didn’t even realise when he’d arrived home. Yuuri absentmindedly opened the door and slipped into the apartment, throwing himself into the pit of their sofa and pulling a cushion to his chest.

Just then, he heard padded footsteps of socked feet against floorboards.
“Yuuri?” Victor called, but Yuuri sighed couldn’t or wouldn’t hear him. “Yuuri? Are you okay?” Yuuri looked up at Victor with big, ogling eyes threatening falling tears and honest to god Victor had never moved so fast. He joined Yuuri, laying next to him and tugging him in by the waist. “Did something happen?” He asked, his voice soft and soothing, yet slicing through Yuuri’s sadness. Yuuri shuffled in Victor’s arms, turning in his arms to nuzzle his face into Victor’s neck, arms coming around his waist.

“Her parents and sister died in a car crash last year. Could you even imagine that? Imagine losing your whole family in a matter of seconds and suddenly you’re an orphan.” Victor knew immediately who Yuuri was talking about. Yuuri’s voice was quivering and quiet, and a little higher than usual. “One moment you’re off visiting family and with the snap of your fingers they’re all gone.” Yuuri was on the verge of tears, his heart heavy with sadness. “No wonder she doesn’t speak or interact with anyone.” Victor didn’t even know what to say. What could he say? Victor opted to hold Yuuri comfortingly without saying a word.

“Well all you can do is try your best with her. Be patient and let her know that you care. Because I don’t think that as an orphan, she gets much of that.” Victor’s hand ran up and down Yuuri’s back, fingertips drawing soft shapes on the small bumps of his spine. “Maybe she’ll start to open up a little if she knows you’re there to support her.” Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head, smiling softly.

“I hope so.” Yuuri mumbled softly.

Yuuri’s spirits were down for the rest of the night, and Victor hoped that tomorrow would make him feel better.

“I’m going to bed. Good night, Victor. Love you.” Yuuri wrapped his arms around the soft yet firm body, embracing in the comforting warmth of Victor’s chest.

“Good night, my sweet. I love you too. I’ll join you later.” Victor leaned down to kiss Yuuri’s lips softly before pulling away, his arms lingering around Yuuri’s waist for just a little bit longer before releasing him. Slippered feet padded into the bedroom, the door closing and leaving a rather worried Victor in the kitchen. Yuuri had a heart of glass, soft and fragile and Victor could tell that the situation deeply upset him. With a sigh, Victor finished off the chores for the day and joined Yuuri in bed, who was sound asleep when Victor walked in. Makkachin had already claimed her spot at the foot of the bed, her soft snores filling the silent room. He climbed in next to Yuuri and wrapped both arms around Yuuri’s waist, his nose pressed to the back of Yuuri’s neck.

“She’ll be okay if she can talk to you, you know. I think you could become really close.” Victor’s fingers touched Yuuri’s soft locks, twisting and playing with them. “You don’t have to worry. Besides. Don’t you think having a kid would be cute?” Victor chuckled, thinking Yuuri was asleep but actually, Yuuri’s eyes shot wide open and he blushed deep, smiling to himself. “Love you, my sweet. Good night.”
———————————————————
“Higher Yuuri!”

“Yes ma’am!” Yuuri’s leg came up higher into a perfect split, his back arched completely over as His hands touched the floor. He gracefully flipped himself over, his feet touching the floor smoothly.

“Curve your back more, Yuuri!”

“Yes ma’am!” Yuuri repeated the same move, this time his back curving more in towards his feet as his hands supported his body, his kicked up leg bringing itself over.

“Good. You may carry on.”

“Thank you, ma’am.” Yuuri smiled and continued with the choreography, his body dripping in sweat as he heaved and panted heavily, his legs burned and his feet ached but damn, dancing made Yuuri feel good. He’d successfully broken into new pointe shoes today, but something told him that with the amount of ballet he was going he was going to need to break into another pair within the next three days.

Lilia continued to watch her class, particularly focussed on Yuuri.

“Yuuri! Do that again!” Lilia’s voice was sharp and piercing, but her eyes more so than her voice.

“Yes ma’am!”

By the end of the session Yuuri was exhausted and about to collapse. He couldn’t wait to get home and soak in the hot tub – this was by far the hardest he had worked himself since he first started. His eyes were drifting closed by the end of class, his legs numb yet his feet screaming in pain.

“Yuuri, come here please.” Lilia gestured Yuuri to come over, and he saw she was holding something. He came over.

“Yes, Madame?”

“This is yours. Congratulations.” Yuuri took the booklet and glanced at it – “The Nutcracker – Clara Stahlbaum”. Yuuri was beaming. Inside was a run through of the plot, where Yuuri would be dancing, either in group or in solo, and a new timetable. “You will be learning the choreography for each of the dances listed here.” Lilia explained, her face still stern as Yuuri took the booklet.

“Thank you, Madame! I’ll do my best!” Yuuri was over flowing with joy. He couldn’t keep a grin off his tired face, and when Victor picked him up he couldn’t help but think about how radiant Yuuri looked with a smile, even if he was drenched in sweat and red and fatigued.

“Something happen?” Victor asked, immediately noticing Yuuri’s significantly happier mood.

“I guess you could say it did.”

Chapter Text

“Yuuri! I’m so proud of you!” Victor smacked a big kiss on Yuuri’s forehead – “mwah!” Whilst sporting the biggest grin. “You’ll be amazing I’m sure!” Victor beamed and Yuuri smiled sheepishly.

“I’m not sure… what if I can’t learn it well enough? Lilia says I need to still work on my expressions. I guess I’m really nervous…” Yuuri sighed, his brow creasing in the middle.

“Lilia never makes wrong decisions, apart from marrying Yakov. Obviously. But she always knows what she’s doing, and she has faith in you.” Victor reassured, throwing his arm around Yuuri’s waist. “We can celebrate when we get to Hasetsu.” Victor smiled fondly. “I really am proud of you, Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was full of sincerity. He was so happy for Yuuri, the fact that Yuuri was finally being seen for all his worth. “You could potentially get some sponsors from this show!” Victor was overjoyed by Yuuri’s success, and Yuuri laughed at Victor’s childish manner.

“Thank you, Victor. I really appreciate your support.” Yuuri’s face pinked with a subtle blush, his eyes averting to the floor. Victor suddenly stopped walking, catching his attention. “Victor, what—“

Faster than lightning, Victor softly grasped Yuuri’s chin and leaned in to kiss his plump, kissable lips. Yuuri immediately kissed back, his hands grasping at Victor’s jacket as he struggled to breathe.

“God I love you so much.” Victor declared, his forehead touching Yuuri’s as Yuuri closed his eyes.

“I love you too.”
———————————————————
“Finally.” Yuuri thought as they boarded the plane to Hasetsu. It had been the longest time since he last saw his family, and to be going back to see them was an amazing feeling, especially now that he was returning with a significant other to meet them too.

“How are you feeling?” Victor asked, holding Yuuri’s hand as they sat down and strapped in. Yuuri thought for a moment.

“Strange, I guess. A little anxious. I never really expected to get to see them again so soon, especially with a boyfriend to introduce them too.” Yuuri smiled. “I’ve told them a lot about you though, so I just hope they love you as much as I do.” Yuuri chuckled, his cheeks slightly pink as he laced his fingers between Victor’s own. “I can’t wait to show you around where I grew up, just like you did for me.”

“I can’t wait to meet the wonderful people who gave me you.” Yuuri’s head collapsed on to Victor’s shoulder, his eyes closing contently as they waited to set off. “How’s Alina?” Victor asked. It had been a week since Yuuri told Victor about Alina, and since then Yuuri hadn’t mentioned much about her.

“I’ve managed to get some words from her which is a start, even if it is just a “good bye” and nothing else. I haven’t managed to get her to work with others yet, she prefers to try and do a two person co-ordination by herself.” Yuuri replied, chuckling fondly. “Lilia has someone else covering my class for the next three lessons so I hope she’s okay.” Yuuri sighed, just a little more than worried.

“I’m sure she’ll be alright. Let’s get some sleep.” Yuuri nodded and moved his hand onto the divider between their seats, his hand grabbing Victor’s once more. “I’m really tired.” Victor huffed, his thumb running softly over the join between Yuuri’s thumb and index finger.

Yuuri was almost instantly knocked out the minute he closed his eyes. Victor chuckled, pressing his lips to the top of his head. “Sleep well, my love.” Victor realised Yuuri must have been really tired – the night before Yuuri hadn’t returned from the studio until close to eight. By then, Victor was partway through cooking and when Yuuri came into the kitchen, he wrapped his arms around Victor’s back and almost fell straight asleep. Not only that, but he’d almost fallen sleep in the bathtub as well, and Victor had to carry him out and put him to bed.

Now, they had been up since four in the morning for their eight o’clock flight, and Yuuri was very obviously shattered. Victor ran his fingers through Yuuri’s hair, carding through the fine, yet thick locks of jet black. He watched Yuuri’s adorable expression, the way his lips were slightly parted, the little huffs of air escaping as he slept. Yuuri has luscious lashes, long and fluttery, like they were just naturally coated in mascara. This was the first time, Victor believed, that he’d really had the chance to admire every inch of Yuuri’s beautiful face, his soft skin, his cute button nose, his plump lips.

Victor couldn’t not snap a picture. The picture was Yuuri with his head on Victor’s shoulder, Victor’s head leaned on top of Yuuri’s with a small wink. Using the aeroplane’s internet, he uploaded the picture.

@v-nikiforov; My sweetling has been working particularly hard over the last few weeks, but now we’re off on a well deserved break as an anniversary present from me to him. Sweet dreams, my sleeping beauty – you deserve only the best ♡ #theloveofmylife

Victor’s finger ran softly over Yuuri’s cheek, brushing his soft hair out of his eyes as he slept. Soon, Victor’s own eyes began to slip closed, losing himself to sleep.

When Yuuri woke up, his phone was buzzing with notifications. He turned to see Victor asleep on his shoulder, and with a smile, he kissed his forehead. Reaching for his back pocket, he reached for his phone to find an abundance of social media notifications. Curious, he slid his phone open to see what they were.

Yuuri smiled at the picture Victor had uploaded, his heart overflowing with adoration as he saved the photo to his phone before replying.

@y-katsuki; @v-nikiforov you’re so cute. Love you to the stars and back, my dearest <3

Yuuri couldn’t not smile at how sweet Victor was. Not only in his actions, but when he was most vulnerable too. During the summer months Yuuri had noticed that soft freckles appeared on the bridge of Victor’s nose, ever so faint, but most definitely there. He ran his finger just down the side of Victor’s pointed nose, touching the tip before bringing his palm to Victor’s cheeks.

Yuuri, much like Victor did, took a photo of him sleeping and posted it.

@y-katsuki; Isn’t he the cutest. This man is so sweet and he means the world to me. Thank you for everything, my darling. It’s thanks to you that I can see my family again♡ #theloveofmylife

Yuuri’s face blushed, watching as comments appeared one by one after it had been uploaded. Comments full of love and joy, whilst a few less than pleasant ones were also dotted about. Frowning, Yuuri deleted them with a pout. Admittedly, comments as such tended to bring his mood down for quite a while, but then, he turned to stare at Victor on his shoulder, soft huffs of air coming from him as he slept, and Yuuri couldn’t help but melt. So. Who was the real winner now, haters?

Victor slept for almost the remainder of the flight, Yuuri holding his hand and running his thumb just between his index finger and thumb. He woke up just before landing.

“How did you sleep?” Yuuri asked, brushing a piece of hair out of Victor’s face and behind his ear as Victor woke himself up.

“Mm… would have been better cuddled up with you.” Victor smiled tiredly, stretching his slightly stiff neck. Yuuri spluttered.

“You’re so embarrassing.” He squeaked quietly with a soft pout that was quickly kissed away from Victor’s face.

“Not embarrassing, just madly in love.” Victor laughed before reaching to check his phone. Sliding it unlocked, he saw the picture Yuuri had posted. He read the caption out loud, grinning widely as Yuuri’s cheeks began to heat. “Wow. I’m so in love with you.” Victor sighed contently, leaning over the seat to kiss Yuuri’s forehead.

“Funnily enough, I’m very in love with you too.” Yuuri chuckled, allowing Victor to pepper his face in kisses.

It wasn’t long before they landed in Fukuoka, and after an airport conundrum, Victor and Yuuri were finally off to Hasetsu.
———————————————————
“I’m home.” Yuuri called as he slid the inn door open. A head of red hair whipped around so fast, her face lit up as she waddled over. She was an exact splitting image of Yuuri, with the same puffy cheeks and adorable button nose.

“Yuuri! You’re home!” Hiroko glomped her son, beaming in delight.

“Hi mom, I missed you. Where’s everyone else?” Yuuri asked, looking around.

“Come on in! Everyone’s waiting for you.” Hiroko took her son by the hand and tugged him into the main room, Victor following with a smile.

“Hi, dad, Mari-nee.” There were a lot if familiar faces too – Yuuko and Takeshi, their triplets had come back from Tokyo too, also some regular customers. “Oh,” Yuuri stepped to the side. “This is Vity— Victor.” Wow, he hadn’t called him Victor for a long time before now. “Vitya, these are my parents, and my sister Mari, and my childhood friends, Yuuko and Takeshi.” He explained in English.

“Vicchan! Nice to meet!” Hiroko said in broken English, her eyes lighting up as Victor smiled.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you too, mom, dad, Mari-san.” Victor smiled, being pulled into a hug by Toshiya and Hiroko.

“We’ve heard a lot about you!” Toshiya smiled. “Our Yuuri is very fond.” Yuuri blushed slightly, smiling up at Victor.

“You’re treating him well, aren’t you?” It seemed to Victor that Yuuri had an overprotective sister. He contently smiled, already falling in love with the family dynamic that he never had.

“Only the best for my sweetling.” Victor chuckled, tugging Yuuri into a hug and kissing his soft cheeks. Yuuri’s face broke out into the widest smile as Victor’s plush lips collided with his cheek. “Mwah!”

“Eww okay, brother, too much PDA.” Mari snorted.

“Are you boys hungry? Dinner is cooking and if you’re tired you can take a nap and Mari will wake you up when it’s ready? We also cleared the large banquet room for you.” Hiroko asked in Japanese and Yuuri nodded.

“Thanks, mom, we will.” Yuuri was very grateful to have such a loving family, and he couldn’t wait to share that with Victor. He turned to him. “She said they’re making dinner and we can take a nap for now.”

“That sounds great! Thank you, mama!” Victor kissed her cheek as Yuuri moved to stand by the door, waiting for Victor.

Victor and Yuuri changed into the robes that Yuuri’s mother had placed on the bed, and immediately collapsed into the comfy mattress. Victor pulled Yuuri in at the hips, spooning him as he buried his face in Yuuri’s neck.

“I’m jealous.” That piqued Yuuri’s interest.

“Oh? Of what?” Yuuri asked, turning in Victor’s arms to face him.

“You have two loving parents, and an overprotective sister. It’s clear that they cherish you more than anything. They’re always here to welcome you home, even though you moved away and couldn’t come home for five years, even though you moved to a whole new continent, there’s always a place at home for you.” Victor sighed, pulling Yuuri closer, as if he were afraid to let go. “It’s reassuring to know that you’re always welcome back home. That if anything ever happened to me or to you that you’d always be cared for. I’m happy, but I can’t help but just be a bit jealous.” Yuuri pulled away and kissed Victor’s nose.

“You silly goose. You’re a part of my family now too. Where there’s a place for me, there’s a place for you too. If you lose a leg or if you grow an arm or if you end up mute or deaf or blind or even all those things, there will always be a place here for you too. My home is your home as well, because you’re mine, and I’m yours.” Yuuri kisses the tip of Victor’s nose again, his fingertips tangling in the hair at the base of Victor’s neck.

“Besides, I see you’re already calling mom, mom and dad, dad too!” Yuuri pointed out with a breathy laugh.

“Thank you, Yuuri.”

“Anything for you.”

After a quick power nap, Mari came to wake them up.

“Hey, squirt, dinner is ready.” She peaked her head around the door to see Yuuri sat up, Victor’s head in his lap. She secretly smiled herself.

“Alright. We’ll be down in a second.” Yuuri quietly replies, careful not to wake Victor. His fingertips played with Victor’s fine hairs as he slept, allowing him a few more seconds of slumber before waking him up.

“Vitya, dinner is ready.” Yuuri’s hand shook his shoulder slightly, attempting to wake him. It didn’t take much, as his eyelids fluttered open to reveal pools of deep cyan. “Mom’s cooking is the best, so we’d better get there quick.” Yuuri chuckled as Victor sat up.

“I can’t wait.” Victor stretched, pressing a quick kiss to Yuuri’s lips before getting off the bed. Yuuri followed him out of the bedroom and took his hand, lacing their fingers as they walked down the steps.

“Vicchan! Dinner is ready.” Hiroko said, placing a large bowl in front of him, and immediately, he recognised it, his eyes gleaming and smile wide.

“Katsudon?” Victor asked hopefully, and she nodded.

“Only the best for my son.” She replied with a smile before placing a bowl in front of Yuuri too.

“Hey, Yuuri, if you feel a bit full, or you’re going vegetarian or something you can always surrender your Katsudon…” Victor teased leaning close to him and resting his head on his shoulder.

“Even if I were vegetarian I’d force this down my throat it’s so good. No way.” Yuuri snorted, watching Victor’s brow furrow and his lips pout.

“I’m just saying that he offer is there!” Yuuri chuckled, kissing the tip of his nose before leaning his forehead against Victor’s, hands cupping Victor’s cheeks with a smile.

“You big dork. Love you.” Yuuri smiled, audibly smooching his nose.

“Yeah but I’m your dork. Love you too.” Victor giggled as Yuuri kissed his nose, moving to tug Yuuri by the waist into a hug.

“Too much guys I don’t need to see this.” Mari said coldly, cringing slightly as she imitated a gag. Yuuri just laughed.

“When you find someone as great as my superstar figure skater you’ll understand.” Yuuri chuckled, pecking one last kiss to the freckles bridge of Victor’s nose.

“Aww, but could anyone truly be more amazing than my beautiful miracle of a dancer?” Victor cooed, kissing Yuuri once more, though now, he wasn’t sure if they were doing this to deliberately tease Mari or just because they’re as sweet as a bag of sugar.

“Still gross.” Mari scoffed, lifting her bowl to move and sit elsewhere. Yuuri and Victor sniggered to themselves before tucking into their oversized bowls of Katsudon.
———————————————————
“Vitya, are you awake?” Yuuri’s voice was soft as his eyes opened, turning in Victor’s arms to face him.

“Hmm? Yeah, are you alright?” Victor asked as his eyes fluttered open, a hand coming up to tuck a tuft of hair behind Yuuri’s hair.

“I want to take you to the beach.” Yuuri declared at close to one in the morning as he sat up from the bed, Victor following suite, tugging the blankets up to cover them.

“I’m all down for it, but any reason?”

“Not really. I just can’t really get to sleep, I guess. I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Yuuri mumbled, staring down at his hands which were sat on his lap.

“No problem, my sweet. We’ll go together.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s temple, his lips gentle against the soft skin of Yuuri’s head.

“I’m really sorry for waking you up… we can always go in the morning if you want to go back to sleep.” Yuuri wearily smiled as he bought his knees up to his chest, his forehead resting on his arms.

“What’s been keeping you awake? I’ve noticed it over the last couple of weeks, sometimes when I turn over you aren’t in bed.” Victor asked, bringing his arms around Yuuri. Oh, Yuuri hadn’t realised that Victor had noticed.

“Oh… I… I normally just get a cup of tea and sit on the kitchen counter.” Yuuri explained with a soft sigh. “I don’t really know… I guess I’m just… urgh I don’t know.” Yuuri frustratedly sighed, his head turning to stare at Victor.

“Let’s go to the beach and we’ll talk about it.” Victor said, slipping out from under the sheets.

“Vitya, really, it’s okay, it can wait, you can go back to bed.” Yuuri tried to reassure him, reaching his hand out to stop him before he got out of bed.

“Nonsense, I won’t sleep unless you can sleep.” Victor smiled softly, tugging on a top and a pair of grey sweats. “Besides, how can I sleep if I know something is troubling you?” Well, Yuuri couldn’t really say much about that. He climbed out of bed to join Victor.
———————————————————
“Thank you, Vitya. I really appreciate you coming out with me. You really didn’t have to.” Yuuri smiled, taking Victor’s hand as they walked along the shore of the beach.

“I know I didn’t, but I wanted to. I want to make sure that you’re okay and that you feel like you can tell me your problems.” Victor sat down on the sand, Yuuri’s head falling into his lap. “I know you don’t think your problems are worth talking about, but they are. If they keep you awake at night they are. I love you to the stars and back and it kills me knowing that while I have the ability to sleep like a log thoughts keep you tossing and turning and awake.” Victor pouted, but with a smile Yuuri reaches one hand up to cup Victor’s cheek.

“I know that sometimes I don’t say the right things, in fact, sometimes I say the complete wrong things. Sometimes I accidentally run my mouth, sometimes I say things I completely regret, but I really do love you, and I care so much about you. Like now I’m completely rambling and I haven’t even given you a chance to tell me what’s wrong and I should probably stop but I—“ Plush lips pressed firmly against Victor’s, cutting him off and taking him by surprise. But with a relaxing breath, he kissed back.

“You’re right. Sometimes you say the complete wrong things and you make my anxiety skyrocket. But we’re still learning. We still don’t know how to function properly with another person stuck to us. And that’s okay. I do the same. I say things wrong, I say things that don’t make sense but like I said, we’re still learning.” It was funny – an outing meant to relieve Yuuri’s anxieties turned into an outing of Yuuri reassuring Victor of his own anxieties, or something similar.

“Sorry for rambling.” Victor chuckled. “You’re right, we’re still learning, aren’t we?” Victor’s smile was bright. They stared at each other, eyes beaming and glazed over with love. The waves crashed, hitting the shore mere metres from their feet as seagulls squawked.

“I am very madly in love with you, you know.” Victor spoke tenderly, a fingertip just touching the tip of Yuuri’s nose and tracing his features.

“Funnily enough, Victor Nikiforov, I am very much in love with you too, hence why we’re dating.” Yuuri teased with a laugh and Victor snorted.

“Oh you’re definitely right about that. So. Back to why we’re here. What’s keeping you up at night?” Victor asked as his fingers continued trace the delicate features of Yuuri’s face.

“Sometimes I’m not sure myself. A lot of the times it’s me thinking about my choreography, and it keeps me awake at night thinking about how I can do better. I’m not dancing as a hobby anymore. I’m a professional in training and I guess it just scares me.” Yuuri sighed, trying to organise his thoughts before continuing. “And other times, it’s us. Because I’m living a real fairy tale and I can’t quite get to grips with it. I know I’ve told you this before but I can’t help but think that one day it’ll collapse under my feet. This life that I’ve worked so hard to build with you is the only thing I’m holding on to more than anything and… well… what if one day that rope I’m holding slips from my hand? What if it crumbles away? Every minute I spend with you is phenomenal but there’s a nagging thought that I have to be so cautious not to lose you because there’s a chance that I could say something that will make you hate me. Or it will drive us apart and it’ll be all my fault.” Yuuri turned to bury his face in Victor’s stomach, his arms coming around his waist.

“You know, I think the same. Because like I said before I say the wrong things and I talk too much and even when we just have a small argument about the littlest things I’m so scared of saying something I’ll regret and driving you away. I’ve never feared anything more than that. Even when I compare it to being slapped by my father, or my mother leaving without a word, even they didn’t scare me as much as the thought of losing you. Losing you especially to my own mistakes. You know what? If anything does drive us apart, it will never be truly your fault, or truly mine. It takes two for a relationship to work, and therefore two for it to fall. So it will never be all your fault, always the two of us.” Victor took a breath. “I know you probably don’t feel any better about that but I hope that you knowing that I have exactly the same worry just eases you a little.”

“I’m so happy. It still makes me stumble on my words and blush furiously each time I remember that you value our relationship just as much as I do. I know a lot of the time you have to ask me what’s wrong but I really want to try and bring my problems to you myself.” Victor smiled as Yuuri let out a content sigh.

“Can we lay here for a while before we go back?” Yuuri asked, his face turning to stare back at Victor with big eyes. Victor didn’t need to respond, he simply manoeuvred himself to lay down next to Yuuri, his arms wrapping around his waist and his most tucked into Yuuri’s neck.

Chapter Text

By the time Victor and Yuuri collapsed back in bed it was near four o’clock. Yuuri let out a content grumble as he settled down in Victor’s arms, tucking his head under Victor’s chin. One of Victor’s palms came up to gently sweep the hair away from his forehead, before resting there, fingertips just caressing his temple. Victor’s other arm found itself wrapped comfortably around Yuuri’s torso, his fingers splaying over the soft creamy skin of his abdomen, hiding his toned muscle.

“Can I take you around town tomorrow?” Yuuri asked quietly as Victor’s fingertips traced nonsense patterns on his stomach.

“You can take me anywhere. Wherever you go, I will follow.” Yuuri chuckled, turning to face Victor before brushing the tip of his nose against Victor’s. With a soft breath, Yuuri closed his eyes, arms wrapping tight around Victor’s slim waist as he exhaled.

“Will you be following me into my descent to hell then?” Yuuri joked with a lighthearted chuckle.

“Like I said, wherever you go, I will follow.” Victor reiterated with an equally lighthearted laugh. “Good night, my sweet.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s hair whorl, one hand moving to cradle his head against his chest.

“Good night, Vitya.”
———————————————————
The next morning Hiroko and Mari went upstairs to call Yuuri and Victor down for breakfast.

“Yuuri, Vicchan,” Hiroko gently opened the door to their shared room, peaking her head just inside. It was dark, but she could just make out Yuuri tangled in Victor’s arms, the blankets half kicked off the mattress.

Yuuri’s head was tucked just under Victor’s chin, fingertips clinging onto the back of his t-shirt. Victor’s arms were holding on to Yuuri’s waist, arms crossed behind his back and their chests touching.

“Let’s leave them for now.” Hiroko whispered to Mari, silently closing the door with a soft click. Yuuri let out a soft stirred grumble at the click of the door, turning further into Victor’s chest.

Just a couple of hours later Yuuri’s eyes fluttered open. Looking up, his eyes immediately met with beautiful aqua pearls, staring right back at him. Victor was leaning up, elbow pressed into the mattress and head resting on his palm.
“Morning, princess.” Victor chuckled, his fingers carding through Yuuri’s hair.

“Morning. How long have you been awake?” Yuuri asked, blinking away the sleep in his eyes before grabbing his glasses and sliding them onto his face.

“Only about an hour.” Victor reached for his phone to check the time. “It’s eleven o’clock now, just gone.” Victor said, placing his phone back on the bedside table.

“You could have woken me up if you were getting bored, you know.” Yuuri pouted softly, and Victor couldn’t not kiss those plump, pink lips. He kissed the pout away.

“I could never get bored watching you. Even when you sleep.” Victor tenderly kissed Yuuri’s forehead, brushing strands of hair away from his face and tucking it behind his hair. Yuuri spluttered, flushing slightly red as he stared at Victor. “What? It’s not often I get to watch you sleep!” Victor protested before Yuuri could say anything.

“Y-you weirdo…” Yuuri pouted, his brow furrowing.

“Yeah, but I’m your weirdo.” Victor stuck his tongue out with a smirk as he watched Yuuri snort.

“Pfft. Can’t dispute that, can I?” Just chuckled, reaching a hand up to cup Victor’s cheek, leaning in to press a soft butterfly kiss to his lips.

“Mmh.” Victor pressed another kiss to Yuuri’s lips, and another, and another. “Out of bed then?” Victor asked with one last brush against Yuuri’s baby soft lips.

“Yeah.” Victor kissed him again. “Out of bed mmh—“ Yuuri’s lips were attacked again by Victor’s, the heat of the kisses melting Yuuri’s hair. “Come on,” Victor kissed him again. “Out of— bed.” Yuuri patted his arm, trying to get Victor to stop kissing him so they could actually get on with their day.

“Mmh. Can’t help it.” Victor finished his sentence with another smooch to Yuuri’s plush lips. “Taste good.” This time, Yuuri moves his head away.

“Come on, we have things to do.” Yuuri expressed, biting his nearly swollen kiss bitten lips. They sat up, Victor immediately wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist. “So touchy.” Yuuri giggled, and it was the laugh of an angel that did wonders to Victor’s heart.

“Things being you?” Victor smirked, watching as Yuuri once again turned bright red.

“Shut up, come on let’s get out of bed.” Yuuri pouted, his brows knitting together in the middle.

“One last kiss.” Yuuri chuckled, indulging in Victor once more before climbing out of bed.

“Hey,” Victor’s soft voice called as Yuuri reached the door. Yuuri turned around, one hand on the door.

“Hmm?”

“You know I love you, right?” Victor’s smile was tender as he stared back at Yuuri. The corners of Yuuri’s lips turned up, heart going gooey.

“Well Vitya, if the number of times you’ve kissed me in the last five minutes was any indication, I do, indeed, know you love me. And funnily enough, I love you too.” Yuuri chuckled before turning back to head out of the door.

Victor couldn’t stop staring at his ass, so pert and firm and round. The globes fit perfectly in his hands, and Victor would happily die with Yuuri’s ass in his hands. What Victor hadn’t noticed, was that Yuuri was still stood at the door, back to Victor.

“Vitya, are you staring at my ass?” Victor let out some kind of inhumane sound, definitely sounding like he’d been caught like a deer in headlights.

“I can’t help it… it’s so firm yet just that bit jiggly and god… I just wanna bite and lick and squeeze…” Victor almost wailed and Yuuri could hear the pout in his voice.

“Well, for future reference, I’ve never been eaten out. Plenty of opportunity for that when we get home.” Yuuri smirked with a huff before continuing to the bathroom. God, Victor was whipped for this man – it was a miracle he didn’t just pop a boner. Yuuri was into rimming?! Oh man, what a way to destroy Victor’s ability to think for the remainder of their stay.

Oh god Yuuri was most definitely blushing. He couldn’t believe he’d actually just said that! What if Victor’s not even into that? He’d do think Yuuri was disgusting. That was horrendously embarrassing and Yuuri almost screeched when he realised what he’d implied. In fact, it wasn’t even implied. He’d literally said he wanted Victor to eat his ass. God he was never going to let himself live this down.

No. Victor couldn’t let the rest of their stay go on like this. Immediately, Victor shot out of bed and went to the bathroom.

“Vitya, what are you—“ Victor didn’t say anything. He just tugged Yuuri by the hips back to their room and closed the door. He pulled Yuuri down onto the bed, clambering on top of him. With both forearms next to Yuuri’s head, he rested his forehead on Yuuri’s.

“You can’t say that to me and not expect me to want you immediately!” Victor whimpered like a puppy. He was preparing to be told it was a huge joke and that Yuuri actually finds that a bit gross and that— but Yuuri parted his thighs with a smirk.

“You’re so cute, you know that?” Then, Yuuri leaned his lips up to Yuuri’s ear. “If you can hold on until we get home, you can have as much of me as you can handle.” Yuuri lovingly chuckled and at that, he sat up and pushed Victor off him with a playful shove before getting up making his way to the bathroom once more. “Come on you horny dork. Let’s get ready.” Yuuri laughed.
———————————————————
Much to Yuuri’s surprise, Victor had managed to keep his hands to himself the whole day. Not a single squeeze of his ass, or a feel of his chest, just the occasional hug around the waist. Victor was exceptionally proud of himself, but it was easy to become distracted anyway, with all the sights to see in Hasetsu.

“I used to come here when I was a teenager to get some air. Sometimes I needed a good luck charm, sometimes I needed somewhere to cry.” Yuuri stared up at the sky from the bench they were sat on, just beyond the main gate of the temple. “They’re friendly, the people here. All very traditional too. The priest who ran the temple when I was younger used to comfort me when he saw me crying. But one day he didn’t come to the temple. Or the day after, or the day after. And I learned he had passed away.” Yuuri explained, still staring up at the clouds in the sky. “He was like an uncle, if you will. Very sweet.”

Yuuri recounted memories of his childhood to Victor, from when he first started dancing, to when he was bullied in school for his weight, right up to when he moved to Tokyo. Victor was fascinated – he hadn’t realised just how much there was about Yuuri that he didn’t know until today, such as the fact that Yuuri, alongside Japanese, and English, also speaks Korean, Mandarin, and a little bit of Thai.

“You never told me you were multilingual!” Victor exclaimed after Yuuri had spoken about the comment Phichit made to him once – “seriously, you learned to speak three other languages on your own, but now with me as a teacher you find Thai hard?” It baffled Phichit, actually, how one could be so competent independently but fall upon the help of others.

“Well you never asked about it so I just didn’t really need to mention it.” Yuuri sheepishly grinned.

“Should I start asking about other hobbies, like, hey Yuuri, do you happen to like free diving? Or jet skiing?” Victor joked.

“No, and no, Vitya. I don’t do either of those things.”

“Well what else have you not told me?” Victor asked, raising a brow as Yuuri thought.

“I used to play the piano. From childhood right up until I moved to Tokyo I played the piano. I played up to grade eight, so I was technically qualified to teach. But I guess when I got to Tokyo I never picked it back up.” Victor was dumbfounded – Yuuri was musically talented too?! “I also played the cello. I really enjoyed playing but we couldn’t afford for me to do both, and so I had to drop one. I really wish I could learn again, but I suppose with my schedule I’d have trouble fitting it in.” Yuuri sighed sadly.

“I’m buying you both of those things when we get home.” Victor declared, and Yuuri squeaked.

“What Vitya you don’t—“

“I wanna hear you play!”

“I’m probably embarrassingly bad…” Yuuri said, but Victor remained undeterred.

“Nonsense, I’m sure with some practice, you’ll be great, just like you are with everything else you do.” That, that melted Yuuri’s heart. Just the way he’d said that was so sweet Yuuri could feel his teeth rotting.

“You’re so sweet, you know that?”
——————————————————
“How does it feel, being in Russia?” Hiroko asked as they sat down for dinner that day. Yuuri looked up from his meal, temporarily setting his chopsticks down.

“It’s… different. Much different to being in Japan. The standard of dance is much higher, though I guess I couldn’t expect anything less. Victor’s been great though.” He said, casting a fond smile in his direction, going completely unnoticed as Yuuri lovingly watched Victor stuff his face with food. “He’s helped me translate and learn more Russian, he’s given me a lot of guidance and support too. So I have no complaints, other than the freezing temperatures.” He chuckled softly.

“I’m glad he treats you well and you’re happy.” Hiroko depressed, with a ruffle of her hand through his hair, tucking a few tufts behind his ear.

“Oh, I also got the part for the main character in The Nutcracker!” Yuuri’s smile was proud, but no where near as proud as his parents were. Toshiya’s face lit up.

“That’s my boy! Finally living your dream! When’s the show?” Toshiya asked, his own hands clasped together as he sat down opposite Yuuri and Victor.

“October. Late October, so about five months from now. I still have a lot to learn and practice though.” Yuuri said sheepishly as he stared down at his hands. Hiroko looked at Toshiya.

“Don’t you think our son’s first act as a professional is one to see?” She asked, and Yuuri’s head whipped up, mouth gaped in surprise and eyes wide and gleaming. To have his parents watch him would be a miracle, especially with their busy schedule. Yuuri always told them, and himself, that it was no big deal if they couldn’t make his ballet shows, but deep down, something he’d always longed for was the opportunity for them to watch him, just for a bit of support.

Of course, Yuuri knew that in reality it wasn’t possible with the bookings in the inn and the things they had to do to care for the inn, but one could hope and dream, right?

“We can certainly try! Any dates, Yuuri?” Toshiya seemed excited, it had been such a long time since he watched Yuuri dance, and to watch him professionally would be phenomenal – he was a true proud father.

“Mmh… not yet. Madame hasn’t mentioned any, so I don’t think so.”

“Please let us know when you find out.” Hiroko requested, standing and running her hand through Yuuri’s hair as he nodded.

But Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a little… uneasy at the thought of his parents coming to Russia. Was it the fact that they were going to watch him dance? Was it nerve wracking? Or maybe that if he messed up they would be disappointed in him? No, certainly not that – he knew that he was their pride and joy, so what was it? Then it came to him. “Oh,” Yuuri thought, “I’d be inconveniencing their busy schedule.” Hiroko and Toshiya were both very busy people – if they weren’t at the inn, they would have to close and refund bookings, or they would have to have Mari stay at the inn and run it herself, which was an inconvenience for them. It was a spur thought in Yuuri’s mind – the last thing he wanted to do was burden them.

“Is something the matter?” Victor asked, putting his empty bowl down. “You haven’t touched your meal.” Victor noticed, catching the faint glint in Yuuri’s eyes that appeared every time he was lost in thought.

“No, no, I’m just thinking.” Yuuri brushed him off, picking up his bowl and chopsticks.
——————————————————
The rest of their vacation was peaceful.
“One last meal before you leave.” Hiroko said in Japanese as she prepared to set two bowls of Katsudon down in front of Victor and Yuuri.

“Thanks mom, it’s great being home.” Yuuri tenderly smiled at her, heart slightly broken at the thought of leaving again. “You know, it’s okay if you can’t make it to my show. I know you’re busy.” Yuuri was beginning to feel guilty asking them to come and watch him, especially since the inn was their only source of income, and he’d be taking that away from them for a week at least.

“Don’t be silly. It’s your first show, we have to be there.” Hiroko reassured, smiling softly at her son’s worried expression. “It’s important to you so it’s important to us.”

“I don’t mind paying for you to come over and watch, if you would like.” Victor offered, as his bowl was put down in front of him. “I know it can’t cover your lost income but if you would like, I can pay.”

“Don’t worry, Vicchan. Will be fine, you don’t need to pay. Eat up, Vicchan. Last meal in Japan.” She said in broken English, but Victor was already digging in. He gave a delightful noise, and something that sounded like “thank you, mama!”

“We will try our best, Yuuri. You know we’re very proud of you.” She pressed a soft kiss to the top of Yuuri’s head before standing up.

“Thanks, mom.” Yuuri smiled as she stood up to go back to the kitchen.

Yuuri looked lost in thought, a faint smile on his face as he watched Victor dig in, staring at him like he hung the moon and the stars. Yuuri was enamoured by this man, and the fact that his parents and sister loved him too was a huge relief, like a weight off his shoulders. Yuuri’s heart warmed.

“What’s up?” Victor asked with a mouth full of Katsudon as he noticed Yuuri staring.

“Nothing, just… contemplating life, I guess.” Yuuri ran his hand right through Victor’s fringe, exposing his forehead. “Cute.” Giggling, he placed a loud kiss right in the middle.

“Ah!” Victor scrambled to cover his forehead before Yuuri could attack it, but alas, his forehead was left exposed. “Yuuri! Don’t be mean!” Victor pouted with a soft whine as his hands struggled to bring his fringe back down. Yuuri kissed his forehead again.

“Your forehead is beautiful, Vitya. Don’t worry.” Yuuri reassured, brushing the tip of his nose against Victor’s.

“It’s not! It’s big and shiny and—“

“And adorably beautiful. And charming.” Yuuri chuckled, both hands cupping Victor’s cheeks.

“You two are so gross.” Mari commented. “Bleugh.” She imitated a gag, making Yuuri laugh out loud, watching as Mari rolled her eyes with a sigh.

“There’s really nothing wrong with your forehead, Vitya. I’m sorry for making you feel self conscious about it.” Yuuri apologised under his breath, pulling Victor close.

“No it’s okay. Sometimes I just don’t like how… big it is.” Victor pouted.

“Well, that’s more of you for me to kiss, isn’t it?” Yuuri chuckled, watching as a loving smile crept upon Victor’s face.

Chapter Text

“Have a safe flight home, Yuuri. It’s been great to have you home.” Toshiya ruffles Yuuri’s hair as they stood by the door with their luggage.

“We’ll call when we get home. We’ll miss you.” Yuuri smiled at his father, picking up his last bag.

“See you again, mama!” Victor beamed, kissing Hiroko’s cheeks and pulling her in for a hug. “I can’t wait to come home again.” He chuckled at the smaller woman.

“Always room for your welcome here.” Hiroko reassured, giving Victor another big hug.

“Thank you, mama, papa, we should be going now, are you ready, Yuuri?” Victor asked as he released Hiroko, grabbing his suitcase and his bag.

“Yeah.”
———————————————————
The flight home was long. Yuuri was fast asleep on Victor’s shoulder, and Victor was lost in his own thoughts, his hand carefully intertwined between Yuuri’s fingers. Victor reflected on their trip. He’d learnt a lot about Yuuri – about his childhood memories, other talents, his family life. He’d learnt all about the foundations that built his Yuuri, the things that made him smile as a child, the things that made him cry. Even his baby photos. Yuuri doesn’t know it yet, but Hiroko gave Victor that album full of Yuuri’s baby photos.

At first, Victor thought it had been over a decade since he truly felt a proper, loving family dynamic. But as soon as he stepped into the inn, he knew for sure that he’d never felt a real part of a family. Until now. Yuuri’s parents were so sweet – even though they didn’t speak much English they tried their best. They’d always offer him a piece of whatever they were having, a share of whatever they were giving. Hiroko had packed their bags full of traditional snacks, like crisps in many different flavours, noodles in many different styles. She’d also packed him gift upon gift, one of which was a lucky charm strung on a necklace.

But the greatest gift they’d ever given was Yuuri. Sweet, sweet Yuuri. Victor was infatuated by Yuuri, and now that he knew more about him, he fell deeper and deeper for him. Yuuri had given him a lot of things – a chance, was the first thing. He’d also given him inspiration. A reason to skate. Yuuri had given Victor a family to love and be loved by and another place to call home. Victor wished he could give Yuuri all those things too.

Perhaps, Victor thought, that was why he loved to spoil Yuuri with gifts. Firstly because he’d never had a family to really spoil him with gifts, and he’d never been gifted anything out of the kindness of ones heart either. Secondly because Victor knew he couldn’t give Yuuri anywhere near as much as he had given Victor. The difference between Victor and Yuuri was that Yuuri saw every kind gesture and every gift given as something to be returned. If Victor bought Yuuri an expensive watch, Yuuri would immediately feel bad for not giving a gift in return. Without having realised, Yuuri had already given Victor more than enough. Victor, on the other hand, hoped he could give Yuuri abstract gifts, like inspiration, or motivation, much like Yuuri has so kindly given him.

Victor pouted as his fingertips played with Yuuri’s soft locks of hair, but he couldn’t help but break out in a smile at Yuuri’s sleeping face.
———————————————————
Yuuri was incredibly groggy when they got off the plane, already half-falling asleep as they struggled through customs. By the time they made it to the taxi, Yuuri’s brow was furrowed, his lips pink and pouty and his glasses askew as he grumbled about how he was “on his death bed” and couldn’t wait to throw himself into the comfort of their sofa.

“You’re cute when you’re irritable you know.” Victor chuckled, tucking some hair out of the way of Yuuri’s face, his eyes sparking in adoration even as Yuuri sported the darkest, deepest eye bags, and the messiest, grossest hair Victor has ever seen on him. Wow. He was infatuated by this man.

“I look a tired, gross, horrendous mess.” Yuuri argued quietly in a mumbled voice. Sighing, he closed his eyes, head toppling to hit Victor’s shoulder. Victor spluttered a chuckle.

“Maybe so, but you’re MY tired, gross, horrendous mess.” Victor cooed, smacking an audible smooch on Yuuri’s forehead, fingertips drawing gentle patterns on Yuuri’s shoulder as he napped.

They’d had a mare at the airport with their luggage allowance, and then with the liquids in their hand carry, and then their flight was delayed and all Yuuri wanted to do was get home. Get home, pick up Makkachin, and go to sleep. When the taxi pulled up outside Yuri’s place, Victor got out of the car to pick up Makkachin. Yuuri watched from the window as Victor cooed at the oversized puppy, smiling. He watched as Makkachin gave him her paw, and then as they headed for the taxi. After picking up Makkachin, finally, they arrived at their building Yuuri actually sobbed at the thought of having to get their luggage up forty-ish floors, even if they did have a lift, it was still an effort.

By the time they’ve hauled their bags into the living room, Yuuri had found that his feet are numb and his knees are sore.
“I’m going for a bath.” He heavily sighed, grabbing a towel from the towel rack in the corner of their room. “Care to join me?” Yuuri asked, and at first, Victor thought it was for reasons other than showering, i.e to make love, but upon turning around and seeing Yuuri’s tired, exasperated face hold a soft, angelic smile, Victor quickly dismissed that.

“I— yeah, yeah. I will. Give me a moment. Which bath are you gonna use?” Victor asked, sliding his coat off his shoulders and tossing it on the foot of their bed. Too tired to deal with it now.

“Probably the big tub. My muscles need a massage.” Yuuri replied, pulling out a fluffy dressing gown and his (Victor’s) night shirt. Victor didn’t even hear him. He was too busy staring lovingly at the mop of messy, ink black locks to even pay attention.

“Mmh. I’ll come and join you once I’ve fed Makka and got her settled down. Throw in a bath bomb and an oil too, we could do with that.” Victor chuckled, gesturing for Makkachin to follow him. “I’ll bring out some wine and candles too.” Victor added and Yuuri nodded with a content smile. Wow, he was getting spoilt tonight.

“Alright. Come and join me when you’re ready.” Yuuri scrambled to the bathroom with their clothes and towels. As soon as he reached the tub, he turned the hot water on full blast and threw in a pink bath bomb. Then, he picked up two bottles of essential oils – one was named “ocean waves” and the other “red roses”. He went for ocean waves. He watched as the bath bomb exploded into a pinky pearly piece of art before stripping down. Just as he’d tossed his clothes in the hamper, Victor came in.

Arms wrapped around Yuuri’s waist, Victor kissed his neck. “I got some white wine, just a bit. And the candles too.”

“Makkachin down and asleep?” Yuuri asked, and Victor made some kind of non-commital hum before releasing him. Yuuri climbed into the tub, watching with wide eyes as Victor undressed, his toned ass and sculpted back right above him. Victor could feel the burn on his back.

“You like what you see?” Yuuri spluttered.

“O-of course I do!” Victor chuckled and lit the candles, placing them on the corners of the tub before handing Yuuri a glass of wine.

“Scoot up.” Victor said and Yuuri shuffled forwards, allowing victor to slit himself behind Yuuri, back leaned against the back of the tub. Once victor had settled, Yuuri relaxed himself against Victor’s broad chest, his head resting just at his collarbone. Victor leaned down to kiss his soft, plump lips with a gentle sigh. “You know, Yuuri,” Victor said as pressed another short, sweet kiss to Yuuri’s lips. “I kept my hands to myself all holiday. You promised me…”

“Mmh, you did, didn’t you, my Vitya. I know exactly what I promised you, but tomorrow, please? I’m way too tired today.” Yuuri let out a fatigued chuckle, or, more like a huff of air as he pulled back from Victor’s lips. “I’m just okay staying here with you. Urgh, I could fall asleep in this water.” Victor reached over to the other side of the tub and hit the button on the water jets, and they hit just right against Yuuri’s aching legs.

“How does that feel?” Victor asks as his arm replaced itself right back around Yuuri’s slim waist. He took a small sip of his wine, nuzzling his nose into Yuuri’s hair, fingertips just tangling through the tips of his hair.

“Good. My legs are so tired, I’m glad Madame has given me tomorrow off too.” Yuuri sighed heavily, letting out a relaxed groan as his body went slack against Victor’s chest. “Does Yakov want you for training tomorrow?”

“Yeah. “Too much time off, Vitya!” He says. But I might just take it off to be with you.” Victor chuckled at his own imitation of Yakov, but Yuuri frowned.

“You should listen to your coach, you know.”

“Hmm… No.” Victor poked his tongue out at yuuri, who laughed tiredly. “Yakov isn’t as nice to me as Lilia is to you. I’ll at lease phone and let him know!” Victor smiled that infamous heart shaped grin which melted Yuuri’s heart every single time.

“He’s gonna have no hair.” Yuuri joked, plucking Victor’s glass from his hand and setting it down. Careful not to disturb the water, Yuuri turned in Victor’s lap, his arms coming around his waist and his face buried in his chest.

“He’ll survive without hair.” Victor cradled a yawning Yuuri in his arms, allowing him to wind down. “Sleepy?” Victor asked and Yuuri made a bit of a grumbling hum. “Let’s get you out and to bed how does that sound?” Yuuri, once again, made an exasperated hum, eyes closed and face buried in Victor’s chest.

“Sorry, I’m just so tired.” Yuuri said through a yawn muffled by Victor’s chest.

“It’s alright, come on, let’s get to bed.” Yuuri released himself from Victor, who climbed out, grabbing a fluffy towel. He helped Yuuri out of the tub, wrapping the towel around him. Victor towelled Yuuri dry, delicately running the towel over his hair and down his body.

“Thanks, Vitya. I love you.” Yuuri smiled, bringing his arms around Victor’s damp neck and pressing in for a kiss. “Mmh. I love you too, my sweet.” Victor smiled as he pulled away from their kiss, pecking his nose gently.

After getting changed Yuuri immediately threw himself on Victor’s side of the bed, throwing his face into Victor’s pillow. Victor chuckled, seeing his side of the bed occupied when he returned after draining the bath water. “Am I gonna get my side of the bed back?” Yuuri shook his head with a grumble. Victor sighed in defeat, kissing Yuuri’s forehead before climbing into the other side of the bed. “Smells like you…” Yuuri grumbled into the pillow his face was pressed into.

“Well, I do sleep there.” Victor pointed out as he kissed the back of Yuuri’s neck. “Good night, my darling. I love you.”

“Night, Vitya. I love you too.”
———————————————————
Rays of blinding light pierced through the blinds of their room, forcing Victor awake. With a soft yawn, Victor buried his nose back into the back of Yuuri’s neck, breathing in the scent of their berry bath gel and his natural smell of honey and lavender. Victor pressed the softest kiss to the nape of Yuuri’s neck, his lips brushing ever so gently on top of the kiss.

Victor’s arms tightened around Yuuri’s torso, his hands slipping under his nightshirt to feel the soft muscle of his abdomen.
“Yuuri…” Victor called, trying to wake him. “Yuuri…” Victor tried again, and Yuuri responded with a tired groan.

“Too early…”

“Yuuri… I kept my hands to myself all holiday…” Victor reminded pitifully, and Yuuri turned around, staring right at victor with big, hazel eyes.

“I can’t believe it’s almost seven a.m but you can only think about sex. At least let me wake up properly.” Yuuri grumbled, turning right over to pull Victor into his arms. He’d just about closed his eyes again when he shrieked. Cold, large hands squeezed his ass, pulling the cheeks apart and kneading them. “V-Vitya! What the fuck!” Yuuri screeched, glaring at a pouting Victor.

“I’ve been so patient…!” Victor whined, squeezing his ass cheeks one more time. Yuuri snorted.

“Honestly Vitya, you’re so insatiable.” He huffed with a soft smirk. “I suppose you have been patient, haven’t you?” Yuuri pulled himself away from Victor, sitting up on the bed and tugging the blankets away. Victor, with a low growl, pulled Yuuri straight into his lap, immediately attaching his neck. “Ahh! V-Vitnuhhhhh…” Yuuri’s protests dissolved into a needy moan. “H-how are you so… enthusiastic this early in the morning?” He uttered out as Victor suckled marks on his neck, kissing and licking over the soft bruises left behind.

“Easy. You’re an aphrodisiac.” Victor chuckled, pulling his lips away from Yuuri’s now spit-slicked neck. Victor guided Yuuri down into the mattress, his body towering over Yuuri. Yuuri’s arms tangled around Victor’s neck, pulling him down for soft, staccato kisses. “I love you so much, you know.” Victor smiled, brushing his nose against Yuuri’s as he sat back between Yuuri’s thighs, leaning down to unbutton the buttons of Yuuri’s night shirt.

“I love you too.” Yuuri released a shaky yet content sigh as he allowed victor to undo the buttons on his shirt. Yuuri helped Victor shuffle himself out of his shirt, shivering as Victor’s hands moved to remove his hip-hugger boxer briefs. Yuuri blushed a subtle shade of pink, his hands holding on to Victor’s hips as he moved back up to pepper Yuuri’s face in kisses. Victor’s lips move down Yuuri’s jawline, soft smooches working their way down the column of Yuuri’s craned neck, occasionally stopping to nibble.

“Mmh…” Yuuri let out a soft moan, eyes squeezing shut at Victor’s teeth took the soft skin of his collarbone, pulling at it gently. Victor smiled into Yuuri’s skin at the soft mewls before his lips continued their voyage down Yuuri’s body, soft, butterfly kisses marking his chest. Victor’s lips sealed around one of Yuuri’s nipples, pink and pert and perfectly round, and he began to suck. “Hyaaa!” Yuuri’s breath hitches in shock, dissolving into a groan as Victor’s tongue dragged across his nipple eagerly. Yuuri keened under the attack of Victor’s lips, fingertips playing with Victor’s soft hair in an attempt to tear his mind away.

Yuuri whimpered as Victor kissed his nipple, turning his attention to the other side of his chest. “V-Vitya… p-please… don’t tease…” Victor released Yuuri’s nipple from between his lips. He leaned up, brushing his nose against Yuuri’s in a soft Eskimo kiss.

“I can’t believe how lucky I am.” Victor tugged Yuuri’s thighs up to rest on his own, fingers roaming around his thighs, watching as Yuuri’s legs shuddered and soft whines left his lips. After a few soft caresses of Yuuri’s thighs, Victor turned Yuuri onto his stomach, hands on his hips to lift his bare ass. “You’re gorgeous, you know what, Yuuri?” Victor stated, kissing each cheek gently, his lips lingering just a little longer on the creamy skin. Yuuri’s heart swelled at the praise, heat rising to his face as Victor’s delicate fingers tugged his cheeks apart, exposing the pink textured flesh, already winking in arousal.

Victor’s lips pressed kisses against the dimples on Yuuri’s lower back, working their way up the dip of his ass, and down the curve of those perfect orbs of toned muscle. “Are you ready, Yuuri?” Yuuri eagerly nodded.

“V-Vitya… please…”

“We can stop at any time.” That was Victor’s last warning before he placed a sloppy kiss at Yuuri’s hole, making out with it just like a mouth. Yuuri let out a startled moan, rocking his hips back against Victor’s tongue, fingertips gripping and squeezing the sheets between his fists. The pleasure was overwhelming – Yuuri was incredibly sensitive to each kiss of Victor’s lips, and each swipe of his tongue. He whimpered when Victor pulled away.

Victor admired his handiwork, Yuuri’s hope glistening and shiny with saliva, now bright pink and clenching, desperate to be filled. Victor leaned in once more, his lips sealed around his hole as his tongue flicked at the rim. The tip of Victor’s tongue wiggles slightly, before forcing itself past the tight clenches of muscle.

“Oh god! V-Vitya! O-oh!” Yuuri gasped and heaved as Victor’s tongue plunged deeper into his hole. Victor moaned at the sounds Yuuri made, the vibrations causing Yuuri to squeal and meek at Victor’s movements. Victor pulled away to spit in Yuuri’s hole, his thumbs tugging the entrance open slightly. Spit trailed from Victor’s mouth, landing on the open, red rim of Yuuri’s ass. Yuuri moaned, god, that was so unbelievably hot and aroused. Victor watched with a smug look as the saliva trickled into Yuuri’s hole, immediately trying to squeeze shut. Victor’s thumb pushed in gently, working the saliva into his sloppy hole. Victor tugged his thumb away and Yuuri whined at the brief empty feeling. It was short-lived as Victor’s tongue immediately settle back into it’s rightful place – Yuuri’s ass.

Victor reached a hand down to his own engorged member, immediately moaning as he realised how pent up he was. Yuuri’s ass was a beautiful work of art. The cheeks were bubbly and round, but underneath all the roundness were the firmest muscles. Victor always loved to give his ass a good squeeze, feeling the flesh splay out between his fingers. Victor moaned at the hot feeling of his hand gripping his length, sending shivers down Yuuri’s spine.

“V-Vitya… Vitya I— c-close…” Yuuri let out a deep moan, biting his lip. Victor sealed his lips around Yuuri’s entire pucker and sucked. “Ah—Ohhhhhhhh! Ah!” Yuuri screeched, hips bucking back onto Victor’s face as he came, coating his chest and the bedding beneath. Victor moaned as he came, white coating his fist as he groaned into Yuuri’s delicious ass, working him through his orgasm until Yuuri was squirming in oversensitivity.

“V-Vitya… s-sensitive…!” Yuuri gasped, hips shaking and trembling uncontrollably as his ass throbbed.

“Mmh…” Victor pulled off with a noisy pop. “Vkusno.” Victor smirked, wiping his mouth on his hand as Yuuri fell down to the side of the bed, lungs overworked and legs trembling, eyes wide and glazed over in lust and love. Yuuri immediately tugged Victor down, relaxing in his arms and holding him close.

“How was that?” Victor asked, brushing some hair away from Yuuri’s face.

“‘Mm… Absolutely breathtaking, amazing, ten out of ten would do again.” Yuuri chuckled, pecking Victor’s forehead. Victor leaned in, expecting a kiss before he was pushed away. “Gross! You just ate my ass! Go brush your teeth first.” Yuuri ordered, smiling as a pouting Victor sat up.

“Yuuriiiiiiiiii! Why do you hurt me so!” He sighed dramatically, but Yuuri just snorted.

“You big dork. Come on, let’s get out of bed, since you rudely awoke me.” Yuuri chuckled, brushing his fingers through Victor’s hair as he sat up.

“Mmh, but you didn’t seem to mind.” Victor added, following Yuuri to the bathroom.

“You’re right, in fact, I wouldn’t mind if you woke me up like that all the time.”

Chapter Text

Even though it was July, Yuuri was still feeling a bit of the St. Petersburg chill. He grumbled as he got out of bed, sliding his feet into slippers as he greeted Victor in the kitchen.
“Morning…” Yuuri yawned, arms coming around Victor from behind and grumbling in comfort as his forehead hit the space just between Victor’s shoulder blades.

“Morning, sleeping beauty.” Victor put the knife he was holding down on the chopping board and turned in Yuuri’s arms to pull him close. “I was cutting some fruit up for porridge, so you can take a seat and I’ll make you a coffee.” Victor smiled, kissing Yuuri’s head. Yuuri shook his head.

“I’ll make coffee, since you’ve made breakfast.” Yuuri pulled away, kissing Victor’s soft lips. “Thank you, Vitya.” Yuuri smiled back before moving to the coffee machine. “Oh, I’ll be back a little later this evening, about seven, because Madame wants to go through the pieces for The Nutcracker. I’ll be home in time for dinner though.” Yuuri added, hitting the button on the coffee machine.

“Alright, text me when you’re on your way home then. I’ll be staying back a bit later too. Yakov wants to go through where I’m gonna put the jumps in. The scoring system has changed so I have to rethink everything.” Victor sighed heavily, spooning the array of fruits into their bowls of porridge.

“Well wherever you’ll put them you’ll be amazing. Always my gold medalist.” Yuuri said tenderly as Victor brought porridge to the table, setting them down next to their mugs of coffee.

“Aww Yuuri, you’re so sweet!” Victor pulled that heart shape smile, leaning over to kiss Yuuri with a grin. “You’ll be amazing too. I can’t wait to see your show. Let me know when I can book out the entire theatre for myself.” Victor chuckled, and Yuuri snorted.

“Please don’t book out the entire theatre for one person.” Yuuri laughed, spooning porridge into his mouth. “Thanks for breakfast, Vitya.” Yuuri put his bowl and mug in the dishwasher and kissed Victor’s temple. “I need to get ready. Class starts at eleven, then I have a class to teach at three, and then practice with Madame at four. It’s gonna be a long day.” Yuuri pouted, already grumbling at the thought of such gruelling hours.

“It’ll all be worth it, my love. How about we go out for a nice dinner to relax tonight? Treat you to your hard work?” Victor asked, holding Yuuri’s hand and swiping his thumb over the space between his thumb and finger.

“That sounds great. You’re amazing, you really are.” Yuuri sighed contently.

“Alright. I’ll book it for seven. Go get ready. I love you.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s hand, amused as he watched Yuuri blush red.

“I love you too.”
————————————————————
“Again, Yuuri! Dmitri, higher!” Lilia clapped her hands, orders echoing in throughout the dance studio. The atmosphere was tense as the class attempted to keep up with Lilia’s instructions.

“Yes, Madame!” Yuuri replied back, lungs burning as he took heavy breaths, sweat dripping down his face and rolling down limbs. The sound of pointe shoes hitting the varnished wood floors resonated through the studio as Yuuri repeated his arabesque penchée, his toes aching and legs burning. Lilia watched Yuuri carefully.

“Well done Yuuri, and relax.” Yuuri exhaled a deep breath, picking up his water bottle and gulping down almost half of it. He took a quick break, resting his aching legs for a few minutes before standing back up. Yuuri was drenched in sweat from head to toe, his tank top and leggings stuck to his body and his hair was matted with sweat and stuck to his forehead.

Yuuri was exhausted by the end of class. With a sigh of relief, he picked up his empty water bottle and wiped his face with a sweat cloth.
“Madame, I’m going for lunch, is that okay?” yuuri asked as he finished wiping himself of sweat.

“Go ahead. You’ll need it before you teach.” Lilia approved, and Yuuri nodded before heading to the changing rooms to change his shoes and grab his lunch.

To: Vitya <3
Are you free atm? It’s alright if you’re not <3

A reply came almost instantly.

From: Vitya <3
Always free for you my love! Can I phone? ♡

Yuuri tapped on Victor’s contact and hit “call.”

“Yuuri! Are you on lunch?” Victor’s voice was cheerful. In the background Yuuri could hear blades scraping and hitting the ice.

“Yeah. I’m teaching after lunch, so I thought I’d take the opportunity to see if you were free. How’s training?” Yuuri asked, smiling down the phone. His voice was soft, echoing slightly in the empty changing room. He brought his bare feet up to the bench, gently massaging them as he spoke.

“Intense. I have to rearrange all my jumps, and because I can’t repeat a quad more than once in my free I’m trying to learn a new quad before September. Crazy, aren’t I? But I do love a challenge.” Victor snorted with a soft huff. “And how are you, my sweet?”

“Mmh.” Yuuri nodded in agreement. “I can tell. You’ll be amazing, won’t you? My superstar figure skater.” Yuuri chuckled, and he could just see in his head Victor’s gushing heart shaped smile. “I’m exhausted. My feet really hurt and my legs ache. Absolutely dead.” Yuuri groaned tiredly, letting out a heavy sigh as he continued to rub at his feet.

“I’ll make you proud of me.” Victor beamed, his voice laced through with adoration. “Oh… My poor darling. I’ll treat you to a foot massage before bed. The good news is, dinner is at seven. Treating my sweetling to a nice dinner tonight.” Victor laughed sweetly and Yuuri smiled. He couldn’t wait to get home.

“I’m always proud of you, silly. You’re a godsend, honestly. I love you so much.” Yuuri let out a content breath, his heart swelling at Victor’s sweet notions. “I can’t wait for dinner.”

“I can’t wait either. Anyway, I have to get back to training. Enjoy the rest of your lunch break, my sweet. I love you.”

“I love you too, Vitya. Kisses, mwah.”

“Kisses, mwah.”

Yuuri spent the rest of his break icing his aching feet to relax them before training with Lilia later on. He was glad that he was teaching for the next two hours, rather than dancing, because his feet were killing. But like Victor said – it would be all worth it. He couldn’t wait to get that foot massage, just to loosen the tension in his feet.
——————————————————————
“And up… and hold, one, two, three, and down.” Yuuri was at the front of the line, hands on the railing in front of the mirror as he lifted his leg at a ninety degree angle, his class following. It felt nice to be back to basics, even just for an hour or two, to remove some of the strain off his feet and toes. It felt almost… nostalgic – the last time he’d seriously thought about these moves were when he was teaching Minako’s class in Japan so many months ago. Yuuri had made it so far from where he used to be, just an amateur dancer who danced to take his stresses away, to a professional-in-training with a first class honours degree in psychology and his first major role coming up.

Behind Yuuri was Alina. Yuuri still hadn’t managed to get her to open up quite yet, but she greeted him with a soft smile each class and had small, meaningless conversations with him, even speaking a couple of works to the other children, even if it was just a simple “hello”. He kept a close eye on her. Not because he thought she might need extra help, oh no, Alina was a very competent dancer. But her social skills had a lot to be desired. Often, she didn’t quite know how to respond when others wanted to talk to her, and she would shrug them off, shying away instead of talking to them. It was understandable, of course, but Yuuri didn’t really know what he could do to help her. Even with a psychology degree it baffled his mind on what he could do to help her open up.

Alina found herself being able to talk to Yuuri a little more. When he asked how her day was, instead of shrugging like she used to, she would give him a proper response. It was a small step, but it made Yuuri smile. If he could help one child through their trauma, then that would be amazing.

“Find a friend, we’re going to do some team work.” Yuuri watched as the class diffused to pair themselves up. Apart from Alina. This was a common occurrence – Alina was very reluctant to try and find someone to work with, and she took a bit of convincing to pair up with the poor child she had left hanging. “Alina, do you want to work with Sasha?” Alina was hesitant, looking down at the floor before turning her head to look at Sasha, who was looking just as lost as Alina. To be honest, Yuuri has never been able to get Alina to work together with someone, and she often worked alone, leaving Sasha to join a group. This time, Yuuri was determined to get her to work with him.

“He’s really friendly, you know.” Yuuri encouraged, but Alina was still hesitant to work with him. “I think you’ll enjoy working with him.” Alina took a glance at Sasha, who flashed a shy smile. “Do you want me to come with you?” Yuuri offered, and with eyes fixed to the floor, she nodded. “Come on then, let’s say hi to Sasha.” He took her hand and lead her to Sasha.

That conversation had exhausted all of Yuuri’s Russian knowledge, but he was very happy with his achievement. Finally, he’d gotten Alina to work with someone else.
———————————————————————
After training with Lilia Yuuri was dead on his feet. After showering, he trudged home, finally allowing himself to get excited about dinner. With a soft sigh, he clicked the door of the penthouse open.
“Vitya? I’m home.” He called, closing the door with a soft click. Makkachin’s nails tapped on the tiled floors, immediately jumping for attention. “Where’s our Vitya? Hmm?” Yuuri asked, scratching her ears.

“I’m here!” Victor came down their spiral steps in an all black suit – a double breasted swallowtail jacket and a pair of slim-fit pants, just finishing up his tie.

“Wow. You look amazing.” Yuuri blushed, walking over to pull him in for a kiss.

“Thank you, my love. There’s a suit wrapped for you on the bed too. I’ll meet you down here.” Victor pecks Yuuri’s forehead, sweeping his hair back.

“You didn’t have to, you know. You bought me enough, I don’t need a new suit every time we go to dinner.” Yuuri chuckled, moving past Victor.

“I just want to spoil you!” Victor pouted at Yuuri, who was halfway up the steps.

“I love you, you dork.” Yuuri kisses Victor’s lips once more before making his way up the stairs to their bedroom. Victor’s heart gushed, eyes beaming as he watched Yuuri head upstairs. Wow, Victor was one lucky man.

Not long later, Yuuri came down in a matching suit and tie, and god, Victor was whipped. Yuuri took his breath away – his hair was slicked back, glasses replaced by contacts. Victor felt himself blush as he stared with wide eyes at his beautiful boyfriend. Yuuri took his breath away.

“Seriously Vitya, was—“ Yuuri realised Victor wasn’t paying attention to anything. “Vityaaaaaaa?” Yuuri called, the endearment trailing out. Victor finally noticed Yuuri was trying to talk to him.

“Sorry my love, you just look… gorgeous.” Victor swallowed, blushing deeper as his eyes met Yuuri’s, fingertips fiddling with something in his pocket. Yuuri chuckled and kissed his soft lips, pushing some hair behind Victor’s ears.

“And you too.” Yuuri chuckled. “Anyway, I was saying, seriously Vitya, were the swallowtail suits really necessary?” Yuuri laughed, bringing his arms around Victor’s waist, tugging him close.

“Well we’re going somewhere fancy today, so of course they were. Heaven forbid Victor Nikiforov and his boyfriend turn up to The Ritz hotel in a mediocre suit, right?” Yuuri almost screeched, face cringing when Victor mentioned the Ritz.

“Victor Nikiforov are you crazy it’s only a date night!” Yuuri laughed. Victor was so extra, seriously, who even books to go to The Ritz hotel for a simple date night? Obviously Victor Nikiforov does. Yuuri chuckled, leaning his forehead against Victor’s, brushing their noses together. “Honestly, I’ve never met anyone as extra as you.”

Victor simply smiled. “I do, clearly. Come on, let’s go and enjoy our date night.” Victor took Yuuri’s hand and led him the rest of the way down the stairs. “We’ll be home later, Makka!” Victor cooed as he knelt down to give her a big kiss.

“Be good for us.” Yuuri chuckled, pulling her in for a hug before letting go.
———————————————————————
The restaurant was relatively dark, dim candles lighting the dining hall and their table. Beside them were a glass of water and a glass of champagne. Normally, Victor would opt for champagne too, but being the designated driver caused him to sacrifice the alcohol for the night. “How’s the duck?” Victor asked as Yuuri cut off another piece of duck. He looked at Victor’s pink lips and held the fork out.

“Have a try for yourself.” Yuuri smiled. “Ahh~” Yuuri encouraged Victor to open his mouth, who gratefully took the fork between his lips, humming in approval.

“The skin is crispy and the sauce is good too.” Yuuri said, taking a sip of his champagne as he let out a soft laugh, watching Victor’s face as he chewed. “How’s the lamb shank?” Yuuri asked back, his cheek leaned on the palm of his hand as he stared lovingly at Victor. Victor, mimicking Yuuri, scooped a piece onto his fork.

“Have a try for yourself.” Yuuri let out a huff, smiling as he took it from Victor’s fork, groaning as he tasted the tender lamb and the smooth mashed potato. “Good, isn’t it?”
———————————————————————
It was about nine o’clock when they finished dinner.
“Ahh, I’m so full. Thank you, Vitya, for taking me out.” Yuuri grabbed Victor’s hand, squeezing it as they walked to the car.

“You deserve only the best, my sweet.” Victor stopped, pulling him in for a passionate kiss, full of feelings of adoration. Yuuri smiled into their kiss before pulling away with a soft sigh. “I love you.” Victor quickly kissed Yuuri’s plump lips once more.

“I love you too.” Victor opened the car door for Yuuri, who climbed in, before shutting the door and making his way into the drivers seat. “Do you mind if we go for a drive before heading home?” Victor asked, starting the car. “I want to take you somewhere.” Victor explained as big beady eyes looked at him in confusion.

“Oh, of course we can. But I thought you’d taken me everywhere you wanted me to see?” Yuuri questioned, thinking back to the first week in St. Petersburg, where Victor took him around to see his favourite places.

“I did, but this one is especially special in the summer, so I didn’t take you when you first came.” They drove for half an hour in a comfortable silence, Yuuri’s hand rested on Victor’s thigh. “We’re here.” Victor stopped the car, and immediately Yuuri could see why it was so special. Yuuri stepped out of the car, staring in awe at the multitude of yellow-green fire flies filling the dark skies. Yuuri walked towards the edge of the lake, staring at the reflection of the fireflies.

Victor got out of the car, shutting the door. He reached into his jacket pocket, clutching a small box.

“Vitya, these are beautifu—“ Yuuri turned around and gasped. There, Victor knelt on one knee, a black box with a diamond ring sat on a satin pillow. Yuuri’s heart skipped a beat. His hands came up to cover his mouth as his breath hitched, tears already filling his eyes.

“I know we’ve only been together for just over a year, but I’ve already envisioned my whole life with you. With a child, and another dog, maybe even in a different country.” Victor was trembling, his heart soaring and racing. His hands were sweating. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath before continuing. “But something from these plans was missing – the fact that we aren’t married. So I was wondering… Yuuri Katsuki, will you marry me?”

Chapter Text

Yuuri’s voice was stuck in his throat, any words that were trying to escape were trapped. Victor held his breath, his hands shaking. The long silence began to worry Victor as sweat rolled down his face. He gripped the box tighter, waiting for something, anything to break the silence. Fireflies buzzed around them, only the sound of their fluttering wings could be heard amongst the thick silence.

Yuuri was trapped in his own thoughts, and suddenly everything came rushing back. The last time someone proposed to him said person was sleeping around behind his back, fucking someone else’s ass while Yuuri worked tirelessly to plan a wedding that proved to be fruitless. His heart was beating so hard he could hear it in his ears. Voices were running around in his head – “Remember what happened last time?” “Weren’t you left behind last time?” “Remember when Ryan hit you?” “Didn’t you feel like an idiot?” Yuuri’s breath hitched, tears beginning to stream down Yuuri’s face. Victor’s voice broke his thoughts.

“Yuuri?” The voice was hesitant – vulnerable. Yuuri had never heard Victor lack any confidence whatsoever. But his voice was quaking with fear and Yuuri knew he had to give him an answer. An answer he didn’t want to give himself.

Yuuri so badly wanted to say yes. He wanted to run into Victor’s arms and laugh and cry. He wanted to phone his family in Japan and squeal at them. He wanted to turn up to the dance studio and scream at the top of his lungs. He wanted to post on Instagram with paragraphs and paragraphs about how much he couldn’t wait for their wedding. He wanted to sit and pick a venue and a date, design some invitations and taste wedding cake. He wanted to pick a suit in secret, pick wedding gifts for Victor in secret. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do it. Something stopped him and Yuuri knew exactly what it was - insecurities.

“I… I’m so s-sorry, Vitya…” Victor’s heart stopped, then shattered. With shaking hands, he shut the box and gripped it tight. His cold fingertips idly stroked the velvet covering the box as his eyes diverted to stare at the ground, trying his hardest not to cry. He felt his nose turn red as he squeezed his eyes shut, tears filling the corners of his eyes. Yuuri’s voice was quiet and unsteady as he spoke. “I… I’m sorry but I… ’m not…” Yuuri couldn’t get his words out, spluttering and choking on his words. “I— I…”

“It’s okay, Yuuri. I understand.” Victor flashed a smile, a wide, wide smile, but it was so fake. So fake. Yuuri had never seen a smile so sad, or so artificial. He didn’t like this fake front, this strong front that Victor put up. Even Victor’s media front had a more genuine smile, but who was Yuuri to comment on that? Victor was heartbroken, and Yuuri knew it. Yuuri was the cause of his heart break. Victor stood up. “I… I should have waited.” Victor swallowed, trying to fight back more tears as he stood up with trembling legs.

“I’m r-really sorry…” Yuuri was sobbing, bawling his eyes out and it broke Victor’s heart more to see him cry. With hesitant arms, Victor slowly pulled him close. “I’m sorry, Vitya I really am…” Yuuri apologises, words broken up by soft chokes of his tears. Tears began to slip silently down Victor’s cheeks, biting the inside of his mouth to try and stifle his cries as he held Yuuri close. “I… I’m sorry Vitya b-but… I-I’m not ready…” Yuuri’s voice was so quiet, almost a whisper as he sobbed into Victor’s chest, fists balling into the back of Victor’s jacket. Victor just stood in silence, playing with Yuuri’s hair as he allowed his own faint tears to fall.

Yuuri thought he was ready. He really thought he was ready to marry Victor. In fact, he was waiting for it. But as soon as the question finally popped all of Yuuri’s thoughts just came crashing down. They came tumbling down and Yuuri had no idea what to think or do. He so badly wanted to say yes. But sour memories plagued him. They haunted him, even three years later. They tainted him. They were a constant reminder of his own insecurities. Not just his insecurities, but the things that made him… unloveable. They reminded him that the last time he got engaged it turned bitter quicker than Yuuri could snap his fingers. He didn’t want that. Especially with Victor.
———————————————————————
The drive home was absolutely silent, much like it was on the way there. Only this time, Yuuri’s hand was not settled on Victor’s thigh. His hands were cold, balled up in his own lap as he stared at them, trying his hardest not to cry again. Victor, on the other hand, looked pale. Much paler than usual. He looked lost in thought, staring at the roads as he drove. Yuuri wanted to break the silence, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Victor probably didn’t want to talk him right now anyway. Yuuri clenched his teeth, sniffling quietly. No. He couldn’t cry anymore – he had no right to cry, after all, it was him who rejected Victor.

The drive home felt like the longest hour of his life, Victor didn’t say a word, and nor did Yuuri. When they finally pulled up in the car park of their apartment complex, they got out of the car in the loudest silence, the kind that rang in your ears and overpowered thoughts. They stepped into the lift. Yuuri’s hand flinched, almost grabbing for Victor’s, as they normally would hold hands up and down the elevator. But tonight, Yuuri didn’t feel like he was entitled to that privilege. He kept his hands to himself.

Victor was waiting for Yuuri to grab his hand when they stepped into the elevator. After all, it was normal routine. After a few seconds, his hand was still cold and hanging, waiting for Yuuri. But his hand never came. To be honest, it was a bit of a kick in the teeth for Victor. Not only had he been rejected, but Yuuri hadn’t spoken a word in the car and now he was seemingly refusing to hold his hand. It was such a minute detail but it plagued Victor’s mind and for the first time, Victor wondered whether Yuuri was falling out of love for him.

“I’m going to get changed and go to bed.” Victor sighed with a soft smile, walking past a sleeping Makkachin. Yuuri made some kind of hum of acknowledgement, deciding to get changed later when it would be less… tense. “Love you.” Victor said quietly under his breath, completely slipping past Yuuri’s ears. Victor went upstairs and stripped himself of his suit, uncaring of wherever it landed and climbed straight into bed, the ring still in the pocket of his suit. He closed his eyes, pulling Yuuri’s pillow close as he waited for Yuuri to come upstairs.

When Yuuri finally came up, it was just to get changed. Victor felt him linger in the room for a few more moments, he could feel eyes burning into his back before the door opened and closed again, Yuuri slipping out. Victor squeezed his eyes shut, trying to think nothing of it. But he couldn’t. By three a.m, Yuuri still hadn’t come up to bed. He couldn’t take it any longer. He got up, grabbed his water bottle and snuck downstairs, footsteps light as a feather. Light from the kitchen was spreading into the living room. From the stairs, Victor took a closer look and saw Yuuri. He was holding a mug, probably full of tea, glasses returned to his face as he sat on the kitchen island, legs dangling as he watched outside the window at the rainy weather.

Victor stood and stared, feeling sorry for himself before he noticed faint sobs coming from Yuuri. It made his heart twist and churn and tear in two to see Yuuri cry. But what could Victor do? Maybe Yuuri needed some space. Victor wanted to go in a hug him and kiss him but at this stage Victor just felt it’d probably be better to give him some time alone. With a silent sigh, Victor made his way half way up the steps and sat down, his bottle of water in hand as he stared at the cactus on the windowsill of the corner step. Victor leaned his head against the wall, contemplating life. Maybe they’d still be talking and laughing in bed with each other if Victor had just… waited.
———————————————————————
The sun was starting to rise by the time Yuuri had finished letting himself cry. Sliding off the kitchen counter, he washed his mug and sighed. His eyes were puffy and red, he could feel them burn slightly. He turned off the lights in the kitchen and made his way up the stairs… Before encountering a sleeping Victor. His heart squeezed. How long had he been sat there? He must have realised Yuuri didn’t come up to bed. He could just about make out red splotches on Victor’s soft cheeks, and it didn’t take him long to realise that Victor had been crying too. Yuuri hesitantly rested a hand on Victor’s cheek, and upon touching his face, more tears threatened to fall from his eyes. Yuuri took the opportunity while Victor was still asleep to sit down next to him and hold him, his head rested on Victor’s shoulder. He leaned up to kiss Victor’s soft cheek, his lips lingering just a few moments longer before he replaced his head, arms squeezing around Victor.

Unbeknownst to Yuuri, Victor was awake, albeit, barely. He was awake enough to notice Yuuri’s hand on his face. The warmth of Yuuri’s arms squeezing him made Victor turn and pull him closer, hearing Yuuri’s startled gasp as he buried his face in Yuuri’s chest. “I love you.” Victor immediately blurted out, words muffled by Yuuri’s chest. Yuuri’s breath caught in his throat and his finger tips came up to play with Victor’s hair.

“I love you too. I’m so sorry I made you cry.” Yuuri took a deep breath. “I never meant to hurt you and… you have no idea how much I wanted to say yes.” The last bit was more of a whisper coated in sadness. “It scares me to death. Engagement literally haunts my dreams and corrupts my thoughts and it’s just unfair to drag you down with me.” Yuuri’s words got stuck in his throat as he willed himself not to cry. Victor didn’t say anything, but his arms tightened around Yuuri’s waist. Yuuri took a deep, shaky breath. “I need to feel like I deserve you before I can say yes. Because the last thing I want is… is to be left behind.” Yuuri murmured quietly into Victor’s hair.

Victor wanted to protest. He wanted to tell Yuuri that he does deserve him and that he’s worthy of all things beautiful and amazing in life. But he knew Yuuri would disagree in an instant. He decided to keep his mouth shut, bringing his thoughts to the sound of Yuuri’s beating heart against his ear.
“Can we go to bed?” Victor’s soft voice asked Yuuri nodded against his hair. Slowly standing, Yuuri held Victor’s hand and they finally made their way to bed.

Climbing in, Victor immediately pulled Yuuri close, his forehead hitting the space between Yuuri’s shoulder blades as his arms tightened around Yuuri’s torso, afraid to let go. Yuuri slowly brought his hands to rest on top of Victor’s, before taking one hand and lacing their fingers together.
“I love you, Vitya.” Yuuri turned in Victor’s arms, still holding his hand, and kissed his lips.

“I love you too.” Victor mumbled into their kiss, squeezing Yuuri’s hand.

They didn’t sleep for very long, only an hour or two. When Victor awoke he realised Yuuri’s side of the bed was empty. He shot up, breath hitching as he wondered where he was. His mini heart attack soon relaxed as he heard the toilet flush and footsteps approach the door. When Yuuri returned, Victor visibly relaxed, sinking back into the sheets. He tugged him back into his arms, releasing a deep sigh of relief. “Yuuri?”

“Hmm?”

“When you’re ready, will you let me ask you again?” The question took Yuuri by surprise, and he tended up. Quickly, he relaxed and kissed Victor’s nose.

“Of course you can.” There was a moments silence, a pretty long moments silence, before Yuuri spoke. He was hesitant at first, trying to find a way to get his words out. “Can we get lunch today?” Yuuri’s voice was quiet, and Victor hadn’t really expected a question like that from Yuuri, as it was normally him to suggest a date. “I don’t want the atmosphere to stay this tense. It’s like we’re too scared to talk to each other at all.” Wow, he really didn’t expect that. Was Yuuri always this perceptive? To be honest, Victor had noticed it too, he just didn’t expect Yuuri to be he one to say it.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought that.” Victor chuckled, a little sad. “I’d love to take you out for lunch, my sweet.” That went better than Yuuri expected, but he brushed it off in favour of kissing Victor.

Dragging themselves out of bed, they got changed and put Makkachin on her leash, setting out for a normal lunch date. “Anywhere in particular you wanna go to?” Victor asked as they entered the elevator, Yuuri taking his hand. Yuuri pondered for a moment, humming in thought.

“We could go to the little cake shop you like? Get some cake and coffee, and take Makkachin to the park?” Yuuri suggested as the lift descended to the ground floor. Victor nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s break our diets for the day.” Victor chuckled, running his thumb over the space between Yuuri’s thumb and index finger. “I want a fruit tart and a coffee.” Victor chuckled. As they excited the lift Makkachin was quick to run ahead, Victor clutching the leash hard. “M-Makka! Stop now!” Victor struggled to keep up with her, having to release Yuuri’s hand in order to not lose her. Yuuri let out a laugh, pulling out his phone to take a picture.

@y-katsuki; Look at these two <3 Can you believe our dog has my super star figure skater wrapped around her paw? @v-nikiforov even though my answer was no, I still love you just as much, if not, more♡

By the time Yuuri had caught up, Victor was gasping for breath outside the bakery. “I don’t know what on Earth we’ve fed her today but holy hell, she is full of energy.” Victor sighed with a soft huff, and Yuuri laughed.

“Well, hopefully we’ve burnt her out for today so we don’t need an hour long walk.” Yuuri chuckled. “Come on, let’s go in.” Yuuri grasped Victor’s hand again, dragging him into the café, Makkachin following suite. They sat down and quickly ordered. Yuuri noticed Victor was staring into space. Reaching over the table, Yuuri put his hand on top of Victor’s, lacing their fingers. Victor brought his attention to Yuuri and smiled.

“I love you, Vitya.”

“I love you too.”

Victor noticed his phone continuously buzzing, and with a confused grumble, he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Curious, he unlocked his phone to see the photo Yuuri posted. He read the caption to himself, and his eyes widened. Yuuri knew he’d seen it. Smiling, he typed out a reply.

@v-nikiforov; @y-katsuki it’s because we spoil her too much! I love you too, my darling Yuuri, regardless of your answer ♡

Standing to lean over the table, Victor rested one hand on the back of Yuuri’s neck and pulled him in to kiss Yuuri. “You’re too sweet.” Victor chuckled, brushing his nose against Yuuri’s. Just at that moment, their sweet treats arrived and Victor returned to his seat. Yuuri chuckled, squeezing Victor’s hand before releasing it.

“Do you want some?” With a smile, Yuuri parted his lips.

“Ahh—“

Chapter Text

Memories of the night Victor proposed kept Yuuri awake at night. He couldn’t help but feel horrible about it, but no matter how much Victor told him he understood and it was okay, there was just this lingering feeling of absolute guilt eating at him. With a sigh, Yuuri sat up on the bed and picked up his phone and glasses. He smiled softly as he watched Victor’s sleeping face stir ever so slightly. With a grumble, Victor’s eyes fluttered open, trying to focus his vision amongst the darkness

“Yuuri? Why are you awake? Are you alright?” Victor asked, leaning up on one elbow, squinting at the light from Yuuri’s phone as Yuuri turned his thoughts to Victor.

“I’m alright, Vitya. You can go back to sleep – sorry for waking you.” Yuuri cupped Victor’s cheek, running his thumb over the soft skin with a smile.

“Are you sure? I’ve noticed you haven’t been sleeping well lately.” Victor pouted, his brow furrowing as he looked up at a very tired Yuuri.

“Really, Vitya, it’s okay. I guess I’m just thinking too much. I’ll be okay.” Yuuri dismisses Victor’s concerns with a squeeze of his hand.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” Victor assured, biting his bottom lip between his teeth in worry. “You can tell me anything and how I see you would never change.” Victor had noticed Yuuri would awake during the night and he’d be awake for at least an hour or so before going back to sleep. It worried him, that Yuuri couldn’t sleep, not only because as an athlete he should be getting plenty of sleep to keep up with the day, but also because that meant something was keeping Yuuri awake. Something Yuuri didn’t want to mention for whatever reason. Victor sighed softly.

Victor shuffled closer to Yuuri, wrapping an arm around his waist. Yuuri’s hand immediately came to stroke his hair, fingertips carding through the fine silver locks.
“You can go back to sleep, Vitya. I’m okay, really, I am. I just need to sort my thoughts out.” Yuuri said quietly as Victor stuck himself to Yuuri. Victor closed his eyes again, and Yuuri smiled in awe as his fingertips continued to run through Victor’s soft hair and down his cheek. “I love you.”

“Mmh… Love you too, my Yuuri.” Victor mumbled, nuzzling his face into Yuuri’s stomach. Yuuri chuckled, listening as Victor’s breathing evened out a little, his fingers mindlessly tracing shapes and patterns in Victor’s hair.

Yuuri let his thoughts run wild as he stared at the ceiling, then back at the man sleeping in his lap. But no matter where he led his thoughts they always led him back to the night at the lake. “Yuuri Katsuki, will you marry me?” echoed over and over in his head and he replayed the scenario so many times. Every time he replayed it he focussed on different things. The first time, how he felt. The second time, how Victor felt, and the third time, if he’d said yes.

For the longest time Yuuri struggled to pull his heart away from Victor’s pained expression, the way he shut the box to cover the bright stone with shaking hands. The way Victor’s eyes dulled, hope that once flooded his bright eyes now dim. The brilliant cyan has lost its shine, now a greying turquoise as he watched Victor’s face fall in disappointment. He remembered Victor’s gaze diverted at the ground beneath them, the way his head hung low like he’d just been kicked in the stomach. But the reflection of his tears falling to the ground struck Yuuri the most. Because Victor never cried. He never cried. Even when Victor spoke about his parents he didn’t cry.

There were so many things Yuuri wished he could have changed. The first one being his worth. Maybe if Yuuri could see himself as worthy, or maybe if he’d done something to deserve Victor. And he knew immediately that Victor would shower him in love and tell him he was amazing and worthy but… Yuuri just didn’t see what Victor saw. What was it that Victor could see in Yuuri that Yuuri couldn’t see himself? Yuuri couldn’t marry Victor until he found that out for himself and it was eating him alive.

Yuuri’s fingertips traced Victor’s brow bone and down his cheek, then, running down the side of his nose. He chuckled, his hand cupping Victor’s cheek. He’d harboured so much guilt for having hurt Victor, seeing his fragile smile tugged at Yuuri’s heart strings, but as soon as he saw Victor’s soft, genuine smile as he slept, it became just a little easier to forgive himself.

Yuuri tried to fall asleep again, shuffling down the bed as he curled himself into Victor’s body, his head tucked under his chin and arms curled around his waistz
“Good night, Vitya.” Much to Yuuri’s surprise, a voice replied.

“Night, my Yuuri.”

“You were awake?” Victor nodded sheepishly, eyes still closed and arms still wrapped around Yuuri.

“I’m sorry for keeping you awake, especially when you need to be awake early.” Yuuri sighed, kissing Victor’s jawline, his lips staying connected for just a few more seconds.

“Hey, it’s alright, I don’t mind. Though I would love to help you with whatever is running around in your noggin.” Victor chuckled tiredly as his fingers ran up and down Yuuri’s spine. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, but the offer is there.” Victor reassured Yuuri as his fingertips circled around the bumps of Yuuri’s spine.

“I know. I’m sorry… I just can’t seem to get my thoughts into place.” Yuuri muttered, closing his eyes against Victor’s chest.

“Mmh… it’s okay. I know you’ll get there soon.
———————————————————————
Yuuri did not get there soon. He spent a long time thinking and thinking about anything, everything, nothing. General anxieties, insecurities, The Nutcracker, but most importantly, Victor. Yuuri still couldn’t find the answer to his own question – what did Victor see in him? He honestly hadn’t given it much thought until Victor wanted to marry him. Then it became his only thought. Or rather, the only question that he needed to answer that he seemed to trail away from searching for an answer.

“Yuuri…” Yuuri stared at the ceiling, his breakfast porridge not yet touched. “Yuuri.” Victor tried again, and this time, Yuuri was able to answer. Snapping out of his thoughts, he looked at Victor.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, I’m just tired.” Victor pouted.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Yuuri?” Yuuri nodded and smiled.

“Yeah… Well, no, but yes. I um… I’ll be okay.” Yuuri diverted his gaze to his oats before looking back at Victor. “Really, I’m okay.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll be going to the rink then. I’ll be back normal time, so be careful to and from the studio. I love you.” Victor leaned down to kiss Yuuri’s lips, who melted under him, smiling as he kissed back.

“I love you too. Did you get your lunch?” Yuuri asked as they parted, pressing one last kiss to his lips.

“I did indeed. Don’t forget yours too. Text when you’re on lunch?” Victor called from the door, picking up his bag. “We’ll take Makka for a walk when we get home.” Yuuri nodded, smiling.

“See you later.”

“See you later.”
———————————————————————
“What the fuck is wrong with you old man?” Yuri clicked his tongue, growling as Victor glided across the ice.

“Huh?” Victor brought his attention from his thoughts to Yuri. “Nothing. Just distracted.” Victor flashed a smile before bringing his head back to the rink.

Maybe Victor should have thought more clearly before proposing. It was definitely not wise, now that he thought back. After all, Yuuri was sensitive and it didn’t take much to break him apart. When you trust someone enough to marry them you don’t expect to be cheated on and abused. A year stuck in a manipulative relationship did things to a person. Victor was such an idiot. Even though Victor swore to always protect Yuuri and care for and love him, there would always be lingering effects of his trauma that Victor couldn’t and may not ever be able to heal. Victor was such an idiot.

He should have talked about marriage first. Yeah, they’d spoken about it once before but never deep enough to actually consider getting married in the near future. Now he couldn’t get Yuuri out of his shell and he felt like he was back at square one. Yuuri had promised to come to him once he’d thought his thoughts through but that didn’t seem like it was going to be any time soon. He didn’t even know what he could do to get him to open up.

Rationally, Victor knew that all of Yuuri’s thoughts were to do with him. But what about him? Was it something else Victor had done? Why was it so plaguing that Yuuri felt he couldn’t tell Victor? Every time he asked the response would be “I’m fine, just trying to sort my thoughts out.” But Victor was growing just a bit agitated. Not at Yuuri though, never at his Yuuri. But agitated at how these thoughts were making Yuuri feel. Worst of all, those thoughts were of Victor – it was how Victor was making Yuuri feel.

Victor was not a mind reader. But he also was not stupid. But he certainly feels stupid now – Yuuri can’t even come to him with his problems anymore. Victor felt like he’d forced tension into their relationship because of this. He was so eager to really make Yuuri his that he didn’t even stop to think about how Yuuri would have reacted or how it would have affected him. Now he was sure Yuuri didn’t want to talk to him at all. He had no idea what was even on his mind or what to do about it. All Victor wanted was for Yuuri to be able to rely on him and tell him things. Far from it, now.

Then he thought.

Lilia.

Of course! Who saw Yuuri deepest in thought other than Victor? Who was the most analytical person he’d ever known? It’s a good job Yuuri was in her good books. Victor decided he would talk to Lilia later.

“Vitya! Focus! What is wrong with you!” Yakov screeched across the rink, but Victor just continued to be lost in his own plaguing thoughts, mainly about Yuuri. Yakov got no response and either Victor didn’t hear or he didn’t want to hear. But what would he even ask Lilia? “Hey can you find out why Yuuri is acting out of it?” “Hey Madame could you do me a favour and spy on Yuuri to make sure he’s okay?” Pathetic. Victor can’t even keep his own boyfriend close. The last thing he wanted was to hear the words “you’re too much for me,” fall from Yuuri’s mouth. They’d broken him before but they’d break him even more now.

All Victor could do was try to pull Yuuri closer before he slipped out of his grip.
———————————————————————
“Yuuri! Focus! What’s the matter with you today?” Lilia’s voice echoed in the studio and Yuuri snapped out of his thoughts. “Come here.”

“Yes Madame.” Yuuri immediately stalked over, standing in front of her.

“Something is distracting you. We can either talk about it later or not at all but whatever it is do not let it affect your performance.” Yuuri internally debated on whether he should ask Lilia for advice. After all, she had been through marriage and divorce. But Lilia was confident in herself, in her abilities, her qualities and Yuuri wasn’t. It was a stepping stone he wasn’t sure she would quite understand.

“Can I erm… talk to you later then?” Yuuri asked quietly, staring at the ground.

“I’m not just your coach and instructor Yuuri. If it affects your dancing then I want to help you. Come and see me before your free session. You can go.” Lilia said with a sigh. Yuuri has never been so distracted, and nothing in dance has changed, so it surely wasn’t that. She shook her head as she watched him take his position again.

After class Yuuri immediately went to Lilia’s office.

“So? Spill.” Yuuri, honestly, didn’t know where to start at all.

“Victor asked me to marry him the other day.” Yuuri blurted out, staring at his hands curled together in his lap.

“Oh? And what was your answer?” Lilia asked, but immediately, Yuuri’s eyes started to well with tears. “Oh. Okay. Why not yes then?” Lilia questioned, hoping to get something more than some tears.

“I wanted to. I was so ready to marry him. But…” Yuuri paused to take a deep breath. “But I can’t… I’m not ready to be left behind again.” Yuuri’s voice was small – Lilia had never noticed Yuuri was this fragile. “Marrying Victor… isn’t the first time I intended to marry someone.” When Yuuri wanted to explain his voice just got stuck. Stuck in a lump in his throat, any words forced back down. But Lilia was patient. She waited for Yuuri to be ready to speak.

“You don’t have to tell me about that if you don’t want to.” Lilia assured him, but he still tried to force the words out, dragging those suppressed memories back to the surface.

“I was… I was engaged. I was planning our wedding, looking for somewhere nice, designing invitations for our friends and family.” Yuuri took a deep breath and Lilia offered him a tissue to wipe his face. “It started small. We argued, no big deal. But then he tried to stop me from seeing my friends, talking to my family. And it progressed. He hit me, but I endured it because he loved me.”

“But one night I… I overheard him on the phone to someone, talking about how I was suspicious of something and that I can never know. So I followed him and…” Yuuri couldn’t say anymore without crying.

“Like I said, you don’t have to tell me anymore.”

“I’m scared. I was ready to settle down with Victor and marry him but I can’t shake the feeling that one day he… what if he finds someone he loves more? I don’t… I don’t know if I’m ready to face that all over again.” Yuuri was sobbing by now. “I’m sorry for being so pathetic and useless and—“

“Yuuri. Stop this now.” Yuuri immediately swallowed and looked up at her like a confused child. “You are not pathetic or useless. You have perfectly valid and understandable reasons for being hesitant and that is okay. What isn’t okay is sitting here and degrading yourself for something that was absolutely not your fault. Am I clear?” Lilia had a funny way of saying things, but Yuuri was already feeling better.

“Yes Madame.”

“Now, what else was stopping you? I can tell there’s something more?”

Yuuri hesitated. “What does Victor see in me?” Yuuri swallowed the growing lump in his throat. “I need to feel like I’ve done something, anything to deserve him. But the more I think about it the more I think I’ve driven us apart.” Yuuri released a sigh, blowing his nose. “When I remember his face when I said no… he was so hurt… the way his fingers were trembling when he closed he ring box. He cried, Madame. He cried. He cried and it was all my fault. I’ve done nothing but hurt him and force him away. So I don’t think I deserve to marry him.”

Lilia stared at him, processing everything before she spoke.

“I think you’re completely missing the point.” Yuuri looked at her once more, like a confused child. “It doesn’t matter what Victor loves about you. It really doesn’t. What matters is he loves you, and all of you. You’re so focussed on finding something specific that Victor loves about you that you haven’t even bothered to stop and think he loves you as you are, and loves everything about you.” Yuuri really couldn’t deny that, she was very very right. “You really need to talk to him. It’s one thing hearing it from me, and another hearing it from him.” Yuuri released a sigh of relief. How was he supposed to tell Victor all of that without sounding like a pathetic, gross mess?

“Thank you for listening, Madame.” Yuuri smiled sheepishly.

“You can come to me with anything. Now go and enjoy your free session.”

Chapter Text

Lilia’s phone rang. Turning her phone over, she looked at the ID. Victor? Was she going to become some kind of relationship councillor?

“Vitya? What is it?” Lilia sighed, putting down her pen to give her full attention to Victor.

“Madame, has Yuuri been acting out of it recently?” Victor asked. His voice was laced with concern, and Lilia raised her brow before responding.

“What kind of “acting out” are we talking about?” Lilia prepared to be another councillor, this time, for someone she doesn’t even (really) teach.

“He’s been very… distant at home. Every time I ask if he’s okay he just dismisses me and says he’s fine. But he just stares into space and it really worries me.” Victor voiced his concerns with what sounded like a teary sigh. “I’m at a loss of what to do because I have no idea what’s going on and no idea how to help.” Victor sounded like he was about to cry.

“I told him already he should talk to you. But don’t force him to tell you anything.” Lilia said courtly, and Victor looked shocked. Yuuri had told Lilia what was up? Victor was happy that Yuuri felt like he could talk to someone at least, but it was a bit disheartening to find that it wasn’t him.

“What did he say?” Victor asked cautiously, a part of him not really wanting to know the answer. Victor felt absolutely hopeless. Yuuri was his boyfriend for God’s sake, but for days Victor still had no idea what was troubling him.

“I’m sure it’s nothing you don’t know already, but if you want him to open up it might be best for you to tell him what’s up with you first. I assume your only problem is that you don’t know what Yuuri’s problem is?”

“How did you know—“

“I didn’t coach you from the ripe age of nine for me to not be able to tell when something is wrong.” Lilia pointed out and, well, she wasn’t wrong. “You need to be patient with him. There’s a lot he wants to say to you, but sometimes, he doesn’t know how to use his words. But I can assure you he is okay.” Lilia rolled her eyes. How on earth did Victor even think to speak to her?

“Are you sure? He’s so quiet and he doesn’t sleep well at all and he wasn’t like that before.” Victor almost wailed in distress, chewing the inside of his lip, worrying it between his lips as his brows knitted together.

“He is fine. Try and talk to him.” Lilia suggested. Jesus Christ – did she have to knock them with a hammer to get them to communicate?

“I tried but he just dism—“

“Try harder. You of all people should know that it’s not a walk in the park to get Yuuri to talk.” Oh my god, now Lilia was convinced that Victor was an idiot.

“Yes Madame.” Victor sighed in defeat. How was he meant to get Yuuri to talk to him without forcing him?

“Good. Now get home and speak to him. I assume you’re still at the rink?”

“Yes Madame.”

“Vitya.”

“Hmm?”

“Be careful with how you speak to him. Don’t shout at him, and don’t get irritated.” Lilia advised before cutting the call.
———————————————————————
“Yuuri? I’m home.” Victor called, slipping his shoes off. “Yuuri?” He called again, and this time, Yuuri came shuffling out of the kitchen, eyes a little bit red and puffy. Victor walked over and pulled him into a hug. Yuuri had been crying again, and Victor could tell not only by his face, but by the way Yuuri fell into his arms.

See, whenever Yuuri cries or has just cried, his whole body goes lax when he comes into contact with Victor. His arms around Victor are the only things that keep him up right, and his forehead falls right on Victor’s collarbone, sometimes with a soft thud. These were all little things Victor had noted whilst comforting a crying Yuuri. With a quiet sigh, Victor kissed the top of his head, carding his fingertips through the gentle locks of ink black hair, smiling at the softness of the fine hairs.

“Welcome home.” Yuuri quietly said, releasing a sigh of relief and holding Victor tight against his chest. He instantly felt more relaxed now that Victor was in his arms. He clutched him tighter, feeling as Victor’s hands wrapped around the small of his back, almost afraid to let go.

“Let’s take Makkachin out.” Yuuri pulled away.

“Right now?” Yuuri asked, eyes wide and victor nodded.

“Right now.”

Yuuri held Makkachin’s leash in one hand, and Victor’s hand in the other. It was getting dark, the number of cars flying passed them getting smaller and smaller as they walked a long their usual route.

“Yuuri?”

“Yes?”

“I’m really worried about you.” Yuuri stopped in his path and looked up at Victor with wide eyes, glazed over with anxious thoughts. “I want to help you, but if you don’t tell me what’s wrong then I can’t help you.” Yuuri felt hot tears run down his face in soft trails. He held his breath, willing the tears to stop.

“I’m sorry for worrying you Vitya. But I don’t even know where to start there’s so much going on in my head and I just want to be able to stop and think clearly for a second.” It broke Victor’s heart, seeing him so vulnerable. Even though Yuuri hadn’t told him exactly what was wrong, Victor figured that this was a start. Kissing his forehead, he wrapped both arms around him, tucking his head under his chin. “I’m sorry. I promise I will tell you but I just don’t know how to get words out or put thoughts together and every time I try and think of speaking it just gets stuck in my throat and I can’t breathe and…” Yuuri paused.

“I’m scared.” Yuuri blurted out words between clenched teeth and aching jaws as Victor ran his hand up and down Yuuri’s spine. Yuuri was sobbing, his fists balled in the back of Victor’s coat. Yuuri didn’t say much more, just let out floods of tears which had clearly been building up for a while. He stood, hushing him softly as he peppered his head in kisses, Makkachin pawing at their legs.

“Scared of what, my love?” Victor asked, Makkachin whimpering at Yuuri’s feet as Victor gently rocked Yuuri as they stood in an attempt to calm him down.

“I— I’m terrified… I’m so scared of losing you.” Yuuri didn’t elaborate any further, and to be honest, Victor didn’t think he was capable of elaborating with the floods of tears falling from his eyes. Victor was at a loss for what to do – all he could do was stand and hold him while he cried.

Yuuri cried for what seemed like hours but eventually, Yuuri’s sobs reduced to heavy breaths, Victor still with his arms wrapped around him, fingers drawing soft patterns up and down the small of his back. It was here when Victor realised that in fact, Yuuri was in more pain than him.
“Hey. I love you to the stars and back, you know.” Victor pulled away, kissing Yuuri’s puffy red face. “I will never hate you. Never. Nothing you say or do could ever drive me away. Is this what’s been bothering you?” Yuuri nodded weakly against his chest. “You know there’s no one I could ever love more than you. You’re the first person to share a home, a dog, a life with me, and I want to keep it that way forever. I don’t think words could describe how much I love you.” Victor pulled back, kissing Yuuri’s salty tear stained lips.

“I love you too. Thank you for… listening to me cry I guess.” Victor kissed his cheek.

“Do you feel better now that you’ve let it out?”

“Yeah… Kinda? I’m not… I don’t know…” Yuuri sighed tiredly, a dull headache beginning to set in. His head throbbed slightly, but he ignored it in favour of enjoying the rest of what was supposed to be a routine walk. “I’m sorry. I still don’t… really know what’s going on in my head.” Yuuri apologised, muffled by Victor’s coat.

“Love you.” Victor pressed a big kiss to a now smiling Yuuri’s face.

“Love you too.”
———————————————————————
A few weeks later Yuuri broke down. It was nothing Victor didn’t already know about, but he hadn’t realised it had been plaguing Yuuri like this.

It started when Victor found Yuuri curled up in a ball in their pitted sofa when he came home. The door clicked shut quietly, and with a soft sigh, Victor kicked off his shoes and immediately went down to curl up with him. No words were needed on Victor’s part, Yuuri just turned towards him and buried his face in his chest.

“I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I’m just… scared. I’m absolutely scared shitless and I’m so terrified that one day I might… might find myself trapped, or lost. Back at square one.” Yuuri’s voice was trembling slightly, his fists balled into the back of Victor’s training top as he willed himself to continue.

“Imagining a life without you would destroy me. It would destroy me because I’m not ready to face the possibility that you might find someone you love more than me and having you leave would be so much more painful. I’ve had it happen before and no matter how much I tell myself it won’t happen again I can’t shake that haunting feeling. If by not marrying you I can keep you as close as I can then I’m okay with that.” Yuuri was sobbing, hitched gasps falling from his plump lips and tears staining Victor’s top as his hand ran up and down Yuuri’s back.

“But I know you’re not. You’re not okay with that. You asked me to marry you for a reason. But I’m not sure I’ve done anything to prove to you or anyone else that I deserve to marry you. I want to be ready to marry you. But I’m just not and I don’t know when I will be. I don’t want to keep you waiting because I’m scared you’ll get bored of me, or you’ll think I don’t take us seriously and we’re going nowhere.” Yuuri feared he’d said something wrong. And here as where it was all going to come crashing down and Victor was going to leave him and—

“There will never be anyone else I love more than you.” Victor tried to reassure him, but Yuuri still had his doubts.

“How can you be so sure?” Oh, Yuuri.

“Well, how can you be so sure there’ll be someone I love more?” Victor asked back, and Yuuri thought for a moment, hands relaxing against Victor’s back. “You’re always so sure that I might find someone who’s, ahem, better than you, as if that’s possible. But has your silly head ever told you that maybe you are where I belong? And that no matter who comes by me it will only be you I belong with?” Victor kissed the top of Yuuri’s head, bringing his hand up to play with the soft tufts. “Even if you aren’t certain, I am. I’m absolutely certain that you are the one I’ve waited twenty seven years to be with.”

Yuuri opened his mouth to dispute that, but he closed his mouth, unable to get any words out.

“If you aren’t ready to marry me yet, that’s okay. If I’m waiting five months, five years, that’s okay. Heck, if you never want to get married, then that’s okay too. I’ll admit, I’d love to plan a beautiful wedding with you, but if you’re not ready for that then again, that’s okay.” Victor sat up, pulling the lump of Yuuri up with him and tugging him to lean against his chest between his legs.

“You will always always always deserve me. If anything, it’s me who doesn’t deserve you.” Victor chuckled. “So I can wait for you.” Yuuri turned in Victor’s lap, sighing against his neck as he closed his eyes. “Is it all off your chest now?” Yuuri nodded. “Are you sure?” Yuuri nodded again, letting out a shaky sigh as Victor kissed his tear-stained cheeks and wiped his puffy red eyes.

“Love you, my silly Yuuri.”

“I love you too. Thank you, Vitya.”
———————————————————————
It took a few more weeks for Yuuri to really pull himself back together. Bur finally, he felt like he was getting himself back on his feet.

“Morning, Yuuri! I made you a coffee, so you can wake yourself up while I finish up breakfast.” Yuuri immediately came and flopped on Victor’s back, grumbling something about it being too early in the morning and how he needed a nap. Victor chuckled. “Come on sleeping beauty. Let’s eat.” Victor turned away from the stove top, Yuuri still clinging to his waist before he pulled away to sit down.

After downing his coffee Yuuri slowly began to wake up.

“Let’s go on a date tonight.” Yuuri looked up in confusion. Had he missed something? It was only the first week of August, it was neither of their birthdays, nor was it their anniversary; that was in March. Yuuri was almost certain there was nothing special upcoming either.

“Why? Have I missed something? Is there an event?” Yuuri asked confusedly.

“No, but the season starts next month so training is going to be horrific this month. We might not get many more opportunities soon.” Victor pouted, and Yuuri chuckled, leaning up to kiss his lips.

“Well then, we’ll go out tonight. And then my super star figure skater will have another amazing season.” Yuuri smiled.

“Well, it’s a date then.”

Chapter Text

Mid August was an exceptionally busy time for figure skaters. The season was about to start, and soon Victor would be flying here, there, and everywhere to compete. August was the time to polish and practice practice practice. August was the time to identify your rivals and act accordingly.

“Hey, Vitya, are you alright?” Yuuri asked as he picked up the phone. Yuuri was currently on his lunch break, stretching to cool down when his phone rang. His legs were currently set into a complete split on the floor, back arched towards his well shaped ass as he spoke on the phone.

“Hi my sweet. I’m fine, I just rang to tell you I won’t be home in time for dinner today.” Victor sighed, and Yuuri chuckled to himself as he imagined Victor’s pouted face. “Yakov wants to keep me later today to polish off my programs so I can start… well… skating them over and over till my legs snap. You should eat without me, I might be home late.” Victor sounded disheartened, by Yuuri dismisses it. After all, duty calls, right?

“It’s okay, you have important things to do. I’ll take Makkachin out when I get home, so just let me know when you’ll be home. Do you want me to save you some dinner?” Yuuri asked, bringing his back back up straight.

“Yes, please. That’d be nice. I shouldn’t be home too late, but I can guarantee that I might be a bit shattered. I’ll let you know when I’ll be home.” Victor smiled contently. “I’ll make it up to you on our day off.” Victor promised.

“You know you don’t need to. Duty calls, remember?” Yuuri chuckled, and Victor grumbled. “But I’ll look forward to our day off anyway. I love you, Vitya. Be safe on the way home. Kisses, mwah.” Yuuri smooched down the phone and Victor’s heart leapt. This man was too sweet.

“I love you too, baby. You too, be careful on the way home. Kisses, mwah.” Yuuri cut the call. It would be lonely to eat without Victor, but Yuuri understood – Victor needed to scratch up his programs for the season. Lifting himself from the floor, Yuuri went to fill his water bottle and enjoy the rest of his lunch break.
——————————————————————
It was nearing nine o’clock in the evening. Yuuri sat in the sofa with Makkachin on his lap, staring down at his phone for any texts from Victor. It was getting seriously late for a training session – had something happened on the way home? No, Victor would have phoned to say he was on the way home. Did something happen at the rink? No, surely he’d have heard something. Yuuri chewed his lip, fingers finding comfort in Makkachin’s fur. Finally, his phone rang.

“Hi, my sweet. I’m on the way home now.” Victor’s voice warmed Yuuri’s heart – he was beginning to worry when it got past eight.

“Hi. I was starting to worry. Alright. Fifteen minutes?” Yuuri asked with a soft smile and a chuckle.

“Yeah. I’ll be home soon. Yakov kept me way longer than I expected so I’ve already been fed, but I’ll take dinner to the rink for lunch tomorrow.” Victor said, not wanting Yuuri’s dinner efforts to go to waste. “But yeah, just phoned to say I’ll be home soon.” Yuuri sighed softly.

“Be quick. I’m snuggle deprived. I love you lots.” Yuuri laughed, running his fingers through Makkachin’s soft brown curls.

“I’ll be home to you A-S-A-P my sweet. You’ll have all the snuggles you need when I’m home. Love you lots, kisses.” Victor chuckled, walking in the warm St. Petersburg air with his training things in one hand and his phone in the other.

“Kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.” Yuuri’s heart slowed itself and he released a sigh of relief, his hand over his heart, glad that Victor was okay. Yuuri waited patiently for Victor to return, and soon enough, the front door clicked open, then closed again.

“Where’s my cuddle deprived monster?” Victor called into the penthouse, slipping off his shoes and dropping his bags to the floor. Yuuri gestured for Makkachin to shuffle off his lap and he immediately stood, coming up from the sofa to give Victor a hug.

“Welcome home.” He sighed contently, inhaling Victor’s scent. “I missed you.” Yuuri felt soft fingertips card through his hair as Victor chuckled.

“It’s good to be home.” Victor pulled away and kissed Yuuri’s forehead before going to join Makkachin in the sofa. “I’m so tired.” Victor chuckled with a soft sigh, as Yuuri tucked himself between Victor’s legs, Makkachin flopping herself down on top of their legs.

“Shall we go to bed, then?” Victor nodded against Yuuri’s shoulder. With a soft laugh, Yuuri leaned back to kiss his cheek. “Let’s go then.” As if she could understand, Makkachin lifted herself from Yuuri’s legs, allowing them to stand and move themselves upstairs to their bedroom.

“I’m gonna get changed, I’ll be right back.” Victor ran his fingers quickly through Yuuri’s hair, sweeping it back a little before picking up a pair of thin sweat pants and heading to the bathroom. Yuuri curled up on his side of the bed, waiting for Victor to return. Finally, after what seemed like ages, Victor emerged from the bathroom. “Budge up.” Victor chuckled and Yuuri shuffled over before making himself comfortable in Victor’s arms.

“So how was your day?” Yuuri asked, closing his eyes as Makkachin jumped up and placed herself at their feet.

“So I did three hours of work on my exhibition skate, though there are a couple of things I’m not quite sure about yet so I have to consult Lilia about them. Then I had a lunch break, and spent a little while figuring things out for my short program, and then my free skate too. I also helped Yakov with teaching a smaller class, and did some conditioning. Then thought about things I need to change for the Grand Prix series, and then Yakov bought us dinner.” Victor sighed tiredly, snuggling up to Yuuri, their bare chests pressed against each other. “And then that’s a gruelling cycle repeated from Monday to Saturday until the Grand Prix series begins in October. Hopefully you had a better day than me?”

“It’ll all be worth it, don’t worry. I know you’ll be great.” Yuuri reassured. “It was alright, just the usual class with Lilia, then teaching, then another session with the cast for the ballet, and then an individual session with Lilia to go through my pieces. So I guess my bones are dead too.” Yuuri groaned, listening to Victor’s breathing evening out – Yuuri realised Victor had fallen asleep and was totally knocked out. With a chuckle, Yuuri kissed him. “Good night, Vitya.”
———————————————————————
Their morning routine was the usual, Yuuri wakes up grouchy, clings to Victor in the kitchen, they eat, then they go their separate ways.
“I’ll text you when I’m on the way home.” Victor kissed Yuuri’s forehead, brushing some hair out of his face. “I’ll be home for dinner today, Yakov doesn’t need me to stay, so I can cook. My beautiful chef deserves a break.” Victor chuckled, kissing him one last time before picking up his skate bag.

“You’re too sweet. Alright, I’ll see you tonight then. Be careful on the way to and from the rink.” Yuuri brushed some of Victor’s fringe behind his ear with a smile.

“You too, take care my love. See you tonight.”

“Bye.” Yuuri stood by the door as Victor waved him goodbye before closing the door with a quiet click. He still had a bit of time to kill before he needed to be at the studio.

Yuuri turned his attention towards Makkachin, who followed him back into the kitchen as he reached up for the kitchen cabinet to grab some food to fill her bowl. Makkachin stood patiently by her bowl, waiting for it to be filled with her tongue out. Yuuri chuckled, kissing her head before taking her water dish to fill that up too.

“Daddy’s been exceptionally busy lately, hasn’t he? It’ll be nice to have him home earlier today, won’t it?” Yuuri said as he sat on a chair next to Makkachin as she waffles down breakfast. “It’s been a little lonely without Vitya during the evenings but let’s cheer him on for a good season.” Yuuri played with Makkachin’s ear as she ate, though she seemed not to care or even be remotely interested in what Yuuri was saying.
———————————————————————
“Yuuri!” Lilia called and Yuuri turned his attention towards her, making his way over.

“Yes?”

“I’ve rechoreographed a couple of the elements to suit you better. I noticed that while you’re almost technically perfect the way you dance it is stone cold. So that’s something we need to work on, but in the meantime, have a look over these instead.” Lilia handed him a file full of all his pieces for The Nutcracker.

“Yes, Madame. I’ll have a look over them during my free session.” Yuuri took the file with a nod.

“If you have any questions about it you can ask during your individual session later.

“Yes Madame.” Yuuri quickly slipped out to take the file back to the locker room for now, since he wouldn’t need it until later.

When Yuuri looked at the choreography he’d realised that Lilia had removed some of the easier elements and replaced them with more difficult ones. There were even some elements Yuuri hadn’t quite got down yet. They would need more practice before October, but Yuuri was okay with that. He thought back to what Lilia said, that he was stone cold when he danced some of these pieces. Minako had said the same thing eight months ago back in Tokyo too. Yuuri sighed. Why couldn’t he get it right? He stood up from the floor and slid the disc into the CD player.

Too busy thinking about the piece, he hadn’t noticed Lilia enter the studio.
“Relax your face, Yuuri!” Lilia called from the door, and Yuuri, startled, jumped and turned to the voice.

“Oh, Madame,” Yuuri quickly went to pause the CD. “I’m sorry, I didn’t notice you had come in.” Yuuri apologised.

“It’s okay. Try to relax your face more Yuuri, you look too stiff, almost like you’re being forced. Relax, and don’t think too much.” Lilia called to him as she moved away from the door for a better view.

“Yes, Madame.” Yuuri turned the track back to the beginning and moved back into position. He took a deep breath, and went through the first section again. “Relax, relax, relax.” He said to himself as he closed his eyes, trying hard to focus less on the dance and more on relaxing his face. When Lilia made no comment, he assumed he was successful, or at least, for the most part. When Yuuri normally danced, his face contorted into various facial expressions, normally his his brows knitted together with a frown as he tended to be lost deep in his own thoughts.

“Good. How are you finding the new choreography?” Lilia asked as Yuuri’s track ended. “Have you had a chance to look at the others yet?”

“I feel much more comfortable with it, I think I can connect more with Clara. The original choreography… it wasn’t that it was difficult or anything like that, I just… struggled to make sense of it, I guess? But this choreography is much clearer.” Yuuri expressed. “I haven’t had the chance to go through the other ones yet, I was going to go through them tomorrow.”

“Okay. I will keep you back longer tomorrow. There are a few things I wasn’t entirely sure would suit you, so if they do not I would like to make changes at the earliest possible chance.”

“Yes, Madame.”
———————————————————————
Yuuri arrived home, and not long later, Victor returned.
“My sweet, are you home yet?” Victor called, and Yuuri’s socked feet came padding in from the dining room to greet him. With a smile, Yuuri wrapped his arms around Victor and kissed him.

“Welcome home.” Victor smiled into the kiss, pulling back with a “mwah”.

“How was dance?” Victor asked, tugging Yuuri into the comfort of their sofa to join a napping Makkachin. Makkachin shifted and stirred slightly, grumbling in her sleep before waking up. She climbed into Yuuri’s lap, begging for attention as she boofed, resting her head on Victor’s thigh.

“You awake now?” Yuuri chuckled, his hand running through Makkachin’s soft curls of fur. “Lilia has rearranged some of the choreography in my pieces for me. She didn’t think the original choreography was very… me, so she changed it up a little bit. There are a lot of things she’s put in that I haven’t quite mastered yet, so I’ll have to spend more time on them.” Yuuri sighed, his poor legs already trembling at the thought of the intensive training that they would be put through to perfect these pieces.

“Oh… well, I’ll make duck for dinner, you should relax and take a nap. I’ll wake you up when dinner’s ready.” Victor ran his fingers through a tired Yuuri’s hair, who had flopped down on top of Makkachin. With a kiss to his forehead, Victor got up and headed for the kitchen.

As he was cooking the duck breast in a pan Victor thought about Yuuri. Many nights, Yuuri would get home hours before Victor did. He would spend at least three hours home alone before Victor returned, and then he would cook dinner as well. Often, dinner was on the table as soon as Victor got home. Victor could tell Yuuri was incredibly tired and incredibly lonely. It made this boiling feeling of guilt build up in Victor, like he wasn’t spending enough quality time with Yuuri. Sure, they ate dinner together and slept together but most days they were just too tired to have more than a conversation about their day before they were both knocked out.

Once he had dinner plated, he went to wake Yuuri up from his nap.
“Solnyshko, dinner is ready.” Victor gently shook Yuuri’s shoulder and he stirred, groaning as his eyes fluttered open and he pushed his askew glasses straight. Yuuri sat up, disturbing Makkachin who was asleep as well, and he climbed up, trudging to the dining room. “Eat up, you’ll feel a little more awake.” Victor smiled, passing Yuuri a knife and fork before sitting himself down.

“Mmh… tastes good.” Yuuri smiled dreamily, cutting a piece of duck to put in his mouth. “Thank you, Vitya.” Yuuri chuckled. Each bite was heavenly, the orange sauce beautifully tangy and sweet, and the potatoes crisp as his teeth sunk through the crispy skin with a crackling sound.

“I should be cooking for you more, Yuuri. I’m sorry I haven’t been.” Victor sighed softly, bringing his hand up to touch Yuuri’s cheek. “It’s always you cooking, so why don’t we take it in turns? Though, dinner might be later on some days.” Victor suggested as his hand moved away from Yuuri’s face.

“I’d like that. Then, could you cook tomorrow, please? I have to stay back late to work with Lilia. She wants to make changes to the choreography if they need it.” Yuuri explained, and Victor nodded.

“Yeah, I can do that.”
———————————————————————
A few days later, Yuuri was waiting for Victor to come home when his phone rings.
“Vitya, are you on your way home?” Yuuri asked.

“Hi baby. The team asked if I wanted to go to dinner with them. Is that okay? I can come home if you want I know I haven’t been spending—“ Victor was cut off by Yuuri.

“Hey. Why are you asking me, silly. Go if you want to. Don’t worry about me, you deserve to chill out for a bit. Just text when you’re on the way home.” Yuuri smiled, albeit a little bit sad. “Have fun, Vitya.”

“Alright. Sorry, Yuuri. I know I should be spending more time with you. I’ll make it up to you on our day off.” Victor promised, his voice full of worry for his poor boyfriend. “I’ll see you later. I love you, kisses.”

“Don’t worry about me, really, Vitya. Just get home safe, okay? I love you too, kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.” When Yuuri got off the phone he went straight to the fridge to see what he could make to eat for one person. There was a ready meal, a portion of borscht that he could eat. Taking it out of the fridge, he unwrapped it and bunged it in the oven for thirty minutes.

He ate slowly, Makkachin sat at his feet as he jabbed at a piece of beef with his fork, sighing. Makkachin was whimpering and whining, pawing at his leg.
“Shall we go out for a walk, Makka? Since we’re both a little bored.” At the word “walk”, Makkachin’s face lit up, her tongue out as she boofed. “Alright alright, let’s go then.” Yuuri slid his chair back with an awful screeching sound as the feet scraped the tiled floor. He moved away from the table, gesturing for Makkachin to follow him. Makkachin followed him to the front door, where Yuuri grabbed her leash and hooked it onto her collar before slipping his shoes on. “Let’s go.”

Yuuri stared up at the sky as they crossed the bridge on their usual route. “It’s warm today, isn’t it? Even for the evening.” Yuuri chuckled as if Makkachin could understand. “I wish Vitya could enjoy the sun with us, but maybe over the weekend instead. Daddy’s busy right now.” Makkachin boofed, tongue out as they reached the park. “Alright, let’s get you off this leash.” Yuuri laughed, kneeling down and unhooking her leash from its collar. Yuuri watched as Makkachin bounded off down the park, keeping a sharp eye on her as he took his phone out to snap a picture.

@y-katsuki; look at our precious Makka <3 too cute for my heart ;A; #blessed

It didn’t take long for Victor to see the photo.

@v-nikiforov; Awwww our precious Baby <3 Miss you both, I can’t wait to get my cuddles!

@y-katsuki; @v-nikiforov we can’t wait either <3

Yuuri chuckled, slipping his phone back into his back pocket as he sat down and waited for Makkachin to tire herself out.eventually Makkachin returned and flopped at Yuuri’s feet, pawing at his leg.
“Alright alright, let’s get you home before it gets dark.” Yuuri chuckled, clipping her leash back on to her collar.

As soon as they got home Yuuri immediately kicked off his shoes and threw himself into the comfort of their pitted sofa, dragging Makkachin with him. Sighing, he curled himself into Makkachin, arms around her soft fur. Yuuri felt his hooded eyes begin to droop, all sense of awareness drifting away as he closed his eyes. His breathing evened out, glasses now askew on his face as he fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Their days continued as normal – Victor and Yuuri went their separate ways, Yuuri came home earlier, and Victor came home later. Sometimes, Victor went to dinner with his rink mates after a long day, and Yuuri didn’t mind.

Yuuri didn’t mind.

Yuuri woke with his bare back pressed to Victor’s chest, arms tight around his waist.
“Morning, Yuuri.” Victor mumbled, groaning into Yuuri’s shoulder. “You fell asleep on the sofa last night so I carried you to sleep. Sorry I got home late last night.” Victor sighed.

“Morning. It’s okay, did Makkachin find her way to bed?” Yuuri asked, turning in Victor’s arms with a yawn as he closed his eyes again, head tucked under Victor’s chin.

“She did, after I got home.” Victor replied, bringing his fingers up to run through Yuuri’s soft locks of ink hair. “Anyway, I have to get out of bed now. Yakov wants me to help him coach a couple of junior skaters before he coaches me later. And then it’s endless hours of running through my programs. Can you believe that? Four hours of coaching juniors on top of my own training. I’m surprised I still have legs.” Victor released Yuuri, who wanted to pull him back in. Yuuri stopped himself.

“Oh. Okay then. You should get ready then. I don’t need to be at the studio until eleven today so I can lounge about a little bit longer.” Yuuri smiled. Victor smiled and kissed his forehead as he climbed out of bed. Yuuri immediately tugged Victor’s pillow close, gazing as Victor’s bare ass came into his view.

“Something catch your eye?” Victor teased as he caught Yuuri staring. Yuuri immediately blushed, smashing his face into a pillow.

“It’s too early for this.” Yuuri groaned, even though it was already nine o’clock. Victor laughed, turning back to kiss him again. “Hurry up and put some clothes on. Jeez, don’t make me implode this early in the morning.” Yuuri whined into Victor’s pillow as he turned his head slightly to face Victor, uncovering his blushing face.

“But you have no complaints, right?” Victor teased again.

“I do when I have to make it through the day whilst keeping my dick calm.” Yuuri frowned, pouting as Victor sauntered off to the bathroom to get changed, laughing at Yuuri’s adorably flushed cheeks.

Yuuri took a moment to compose himself before he sat up in bed, reaching for his phone and glasses on the bedside table. He went through his social media, keeping up with his friends and family, as well as his finally checking his own comment feed to reply.

Not long later Victor re-emerged from their bathroom in leggings and a top. Yuuri put his phone down and reached up to loop his arms around Victor’s neck. “I’ll see you later. Be careful on the way to the rink, love you.” Yuuri kisses Victor’s soft plump lips, pulling away.

“I’ll text when I’m on the way home. You too, careful on the way to the studio. Love you too.” Victor chuckled, brushing his nose against Yuuri’s. Yuuri contently smiled as Victor left the room before willing himself to get out of the comfort of their bed.
——————————————————————
It was nearing nine at night, and Victor still hadn’t texted to say he was on his way home. Dinner was set on the table, two plates, two sets of cutlery, and two cups of tea. Yuuri sat tapping his foot, Makkachin at his feet as he sighed, constantly checking the phone in his hand for any new texts. Yuuri had been very patient, but now he was just worried. With a sigh, he got up and Makkachin followed him. Yuuri watched he minutes on his phone tick and tick.

To: Vitya <3
Where are you? Are you okay?

From: Vitya <3
Ahh ;A; sorry my love! I forgot to say I went out with the rink mates. Sorry for not letting you know <\3

Yuuri sighed and put his phone down. He took a forkful of his meal and decided he couldn’t really stomach anymore. Twirling his fork in his pasta, he lifted his head from where it was rested on the palm of his hand. He put the fork down, pasta still twirled around the prongs and he stood up. Makkachin followed him upstairs and Yuuri tucked himself under the bedsheets, pulling Makkachin close as he let out a frustrated grumble. He couldn’t help but just feel a little bit angry.

Yuuri didn’t mind that Victor went out for dinner with his rink mates. He didn’t mind. Until he did.

Feeling just a bit more than lonely and upset, he buried his face in Makkachin’s soft locks of fur before closing his eyes, letting out one last sigh.
———————————————————————
It had just gone half nine when Victor finally returned home. “My sweet, I’m home.” There was no response. Victor dropped his skate bag down on the floor and kicked his trainers off. Brow furrowed in confusion, he looked around at the darkness of their home. “Yuuri?” He called again, but still, there was no response. Socked feet padded towards the kitchen and dining room. Victor’s fingers felt along the wall for the light switch, flicking it on. What caught his eye was the table. There laid two plates of pasta, one perfectly untouched, the other with a fork still rested in the twirls of pasta strings. Oh. Yuuri hadn’t eaten.

Victor then looked around for Makkachin, seeing her empty bed in the dark room. Quickly, he made his way upstairs to the master bedroom. The door was creaked slightly open, entirely dark. He pushed the door open a little bit more, light from the landing coming in in rays, illuminating the marshmallowy lump of blankets and human and dog. Yuuri was tucked under the covers, hugging Makkachin tightly as he curled into a ball. With a soft sigh of relief, Victor entered the room and shut the door, heading for the bathroom.

Yuuri heard the front door click open, then closed. “Finally.” He thought to himself. Then he heard the bedroom door creak against the floor boards as it opened, and he heard Victor’s sigh of relief. He could feel Victor’s stares on his covered body as footsteps made their way to the ensuite. Yuuri waited patiently for Victor to climb into bed, and soon enough, the other side of the bed dipped and creaked, and warm fingertips touched his hip as those same arms wrapped around Makkachin.

“Are you awake, Yuuri?” Yuuri chose to just keep his eyes shut. He was too tired for night time musings. The day had already been pretty gruelling even without factoring in a very absent Victor. He just wanted to sleep now that he knew Victor was safe. He heard Victor sigh quietly, before the covers shifted to cover him. Victor’s fingers felt their way through Makkachin’s fur until they found Yuuri’s fingertips. Yuuri felt soft fingers touch his own and he grasped them gently.

When Yuuri awoke the next morning Makkachin had slipped out of his arms, and Victor had slipped in. With a sigh, Yuuri turned away from Victor, closing his eyes again.
“I’m sorry.” Yuuri’s eyes opened again as Victor shifted behind him, tucking his forehead into the space between Yuuri’s jawline and shoulder. “I know you’re mad at me, and I would be too. So I’m sorry for not telling you I was going out.” Yuuri pouted his lips, eyebrows knitted together in the middle.

“It’s fine. I’m not mad at you.” Yuuri said quietly, back still turned away from Victor as he sighed softly.

“Are you sure? I understand if you’re mad at me. I promise I’ll make it up to you and we’ll go out for dinner tomorrow night.” Victor promised, running his fingertips up and down Yuuri’s back.

“I’m not mad at you, but I’d like that.” Yuuri turned and smiled wearily, Victor’s fingertips brushing some hair away from Yuuri’s forehead. Yuuri breathed a sigh of relief, tucking himself up to Victor’s body.
———————————————————————
That dinner didn’t come.

Yuuri sat at a small table at the café they had agreed on, waiting for Victor to turn up. To be fair, Yuuri had arrived early, so it wasn’t a huge deal that Victor hadn’t arrived yet. Yuuri patiently waited, staring at the menu and the empty seat opposite him. Yuuri had noticed that recently Victor had skipped out on a few of their dinner dates and sometimes hadn’t come home for dinner. It didn’t bother Yuuri but it’d be nice if he did actually show up.

“Are you ready to order, sir?” A waitress approached his table, ready with a notepad and pen to take his order.

“Not yet, just a little longer, please. Could I get two glasses of ice water please?” Yuuri asked and the waitress nodded.

“I’ll be right back.”

Yuuri sipped at his water, still waiting for Victor to arrive when his phone rang. It was Victor.

“Vitya? Are you on your way yet?” Yuuri asked as he picked up the phone.

“Baby I’m so sorry but I have to stay back at the rink tonight.” Yuuri sighed. He wasn’t surprised. “I just realised my short is thirty seconds too long and I have to cut and rechoreograph some of it. I’m so sorry baby. I’ll be home as soon as possible.” Victor explained, his voice laced with concern as he sighed in frustration. Yuuri could tell he was agitated, and he let it go.

“It’s fine.” Yuuri sighed sadly, putting his glass of water down and setting his menu back down on the table with it. “I’llsee you at home. Love you.” Disheartened, Yuuri cut the call and got up, leaving. He felt like he’d just been stood up. Eyes turned on him and he felt slightly humiliated. After all, who even turns up to a café, asks for a table for two, and leaves after a glass of water? Obviously, Yuuri does. He could feel eyes of pity on him, like they could work out that his date wasn’t coming. Yuuri made a slow walk home, sighing to himself.

In all honesty, Yuuri didn’t really feel like they’d spent anytime together at all. It was more like they were housemates rather than partners. Victor came home after Yuuri, ate, then slept. Sometimes he would just come home and go straight to sleep. They didn’t really speak much apart from through texts at lunch and a short conversation before bed. Yuuri frowned. He waited every night for Victor to come home before going to sleep but it was just draining him. Realistically Yuuri knew that the average skater did not skate from ten o’clock in the morning till eight in the evening, but Victor was not an average skater. He was an Olympic champion. A world champion. A coach’s assistant. A choreographer. He spent more time working with other skaters than working with himself. And Yuuri understood. He really did. He just wished Victor could free up just another hour each day to spend with him. Of course, that was too selfish to ask – Victor has a life of his own too.

Yuuri couldn’t even bring himself to be mad at Victor, because Victor had a very understandable and legitimate reason for not turning up. He was just upset. Upset that multiple dinner dates just seemed to be an empty promise. When he finally made it home he slipped his shoes off. Immediately Makkachin came pawing at his leg, whimpering as she followed Yuuri upstairs. “I’m alright, girl. You wait here and I’ll be back in a bit.” Yuuri slipped off to the bathroom to change into his night shirt.
———————————————————————
“Kisses, I lov—“ The line went dead and Victor pulled the phone away from his ear. Victor sighed, his eyebrows knitted together as concern and worry plastered all over his face. He had definitely upset Yuuri. With another heavy sigh, he stepped back into the ice.

“Oi old man what the fucks wrong with you?” Yuri growled as he noticed Victor’s suddenly changed demeanour.

“Nothing. Nothing you’d understand at least.” Victor muttered.

“Fight with your man?”

“Not quite.” Victor sighed and skated away, notebook in hand to try and rechoreograph his piece to make it shorter.
———————————————————————
When Victor arrived home Yuuri was sat up in bed, Makkachin on his lap and phone in his hand. His glasses sat on the bedside cabinet, the lamp turned on next to him.
“Yuuri I’m sorry. I really am. The other day I didn’t let you know I wouldn’t be home and today I cancelled. If you’re mad at me that’s okay but I’m sorry.” Victor sighed as his brow quivered, soft tears beading at the corners of his eyes. Yuuri put his phone down.

“Victor I’m not mad. I’m really not mad. Yes, the other day I wasn’t very happy but today you had something to do. I’m not mad that you had to cancel dinner.” Yuuri turned the lamp off and slid down under the covers, Makkachin shuffling up next to him.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you. Can I make it up to you over the weekend at least?” Victor asked.

“Victor, no. Please, let’s just drop it. Good night.” Yuuri sighed once more, closing his eyes tightly.

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Vitya, really I’m not mad at you. I know you have more important things to do with the season coming up and I get it. It’s not your fault.” Yuuri mumbled.

“Okay. Good night, my Yuuri.” Victor sighed and he shuffled to the bathroom to get changed before tucking into bed.
———————————————————————
It had been a while since Yuuri felt the need to dance his stresses away, but The Nutcracker was really getting to him. Finally he had a free hour to himself before a session with Lilia. He plugged his phone into the iPhone dock and selected a track.

You know I want you,
It's not a secret I try to hide.
I know you want me,
So don't keep saying our hands are tied.
You claim it's not in the cards,
Fate is pulling you miles away,
And out of reach from me.
But you're here in my heart,
So who can stop me if I decide
That you're my destiny?

Yuuri closed his eyes, and allowed himself to sink into the music. The lyrics rang in his head, flooding his body with movement. Yuuri missed contemporary dance. It was much less rigid than ballet was – it was much less straining and much more relaxed. Contemporary dance used to be such a huge part of his dance life but nowadays, it was but a mere fragment of the week that was slowly fading.

What if we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine.
Nothing could keep us apart,
You'd be the one I was meant to find.
It's up to you, and it's up to me,
No one can say what we get to be.
So why don't we rewrite the stars?
Maybe the world could be ours,
Tonight.

The balls of Yuuri’s feet hit the varnished wood floors, becoming a beautiful spin before he leaned back on one foot, the other leg hanging free next to it as his back arched backwards. Sweat rolled down down his face and forehead, sticking to his jet black hair as his head pushed itself back before coming back up.

You think it's easy,
You think I don't want to run to you.
But there are mountains,
And there are doors that we can't walk through.
I know you're wondering why,
Because we're able to be,
Just you and me,
Within these walls.
But when we go outside,
You're going to wake up and see that it was hopeless after all.

It had been ridiculously lonely at home recently. Every evening Yuuri would come home to a dark apartment, with only Makkachin to keep him company. Victor came home late after a day of coaching and training himself, exhausted and tired. They hadn’t been on a proper date since July, they hadn’t had sex since June. Yuuri sighed heavily. Obviously, he loved Makkachin and her company dearly but something was just missing. That something was the presence of Victor.

No one can rewrite the stars.
How can you say you'll be mine?
Everything keeps us apart,
And I'm not the one you were meant to find.
It's not up to you,
It's not up to me,
When everyone tells us what we can be.
How can we rewrite the stars?
Say that the world can be ours,
Tonight.

Yuuri moved like water, arms coming out and back in as his free leg hung behind him, still gracefully trailing. Sweat soaked his leggings, his bruised and battered feet gently hitting the floor. One leg stayed planted, the other lifted up backwards and almost over his head, grabbed by his arms as his back arched beautifully.

All I want is to fly with you,
All I want is to fall with you.
So just give me all of you,
It feels impossible (it's not impossible)
Is it impossible?
Say that it's possible.
How do we rewrite the stars?
Say you were made to be mine?

His lungs burned as he took heavy breaths, each sharp breath slicing the back of his throat. Yuuri lifted off on one foot, landing on the other before toppling. “Shit,” he sighed as he crushed his ankle under his own weight. Standing up, he pressed his fingertips to the tender flesh of his ankle, wincing at the pain.

Nothing can keep us apart,
'Cause you are the one I was meant to find,
It's up to you,
And it's up to me.
No one can say what we get to be.
And why don't we rewrite the stars?
Changing the world to be ours…

Yuuri carried on, putting less pressure onto his right ankle as he danced, squirming at the slightest contact of his foot to the floor which sent shockwaves up his foot. He’d had to get an ice pack after this and tell Lilia. He scowled at his carelessness, mentally cursing himself for injuring himself just months before their production.

You know I want you,
It's not a secret I try to hide.
But I can't have you,
We're bound to break and my hands are tied…

Chapter Text

It had been a long day for Yuuri.
“Alina, good morning.” He smiled fondly and Alina smiled back before responding with a quiet “morning, Yuuri.”

With time Yuuri was able to get Alina to fit in with the rest of the class. He was able to get her to open up about how she was feeling, and able to get her to talk to other people. He felt achieved, especially when Alina felt like she could talk to him.

But throughout the day Yuuri noticed Alina wasn’t her usual self. Today she was much more withdrawn and much less focussed. He pulled her to the side.
“Alina, is something wrong?” She shook her head. “Are you sure?” Even though she nodded, Yuuri knew that something was going on in her head. He consulted Lilia afterwards.

“Madame, can I talk to you?” Yuuri knocked on her door, poking his head in.

“Come in, have a seat. What would you like to talk about?” Lilia asked, removing her glasses and spinning around on her chair to face Yuuri as she put her pen down on her desk.

“It’s Alina. Recently she’s been okay, I’ve managed to get her to talk to others and work with others, but today it’s like she’s gone back to the way she was when she first started. She was very upset about something, and I don’t know what I can do to help her.” Yuuri released an exasperated sigh, worrying his lip between his teeth as a troubled expression clouded his face.

Lilia hummed and took a look at the calendar.
“Ahh. Today is the anniversary of the loss of her family. To be honest, there isn’t much you can do at all for her. Just keep an eye on her, and make sure she’s okay.” Yuuri’s eyes widened, tears forming in his eyes.

“Oh no… I’ll try my best Madame.” Yuuri promised.

“How are things with Vitya?” Lilia asked, changing the subject and Yuuri immediately averted his gaze to the floor.

“Honestly Madame I… I don’t know. He comes home late, eats, then sleeps, and repeats. I’ve barely spoken to him. Sometimes he eats out and doesn’t tell me and I’m sat at home waiting for him to come back with two meals going cold in front of me. I don’t really know anymore Madame but… I’d rather not… not talk about it.” Yuuri’s voice trailed off into quiet words and Lilia nodded.

“Well then, you know you may speak to me at anytime?” Lilia reminded him and Yuuri nodded.

“Yes Madame.”

“If that is all, you may leave.” Lilia dismissed him and Yuuri stood up with a faint smile.

“Thank you, Madame. See you later.”
——————————————————————
“Vitya, welcome home. How was your day?” Yuuri smiled as Victor stepped through the front door. Yuuri hobbled a little on his injured foot, an ankle support under his sock.

“Sorry Yuuri. I’m just tired. Can I go to bed?” Victor sighed, moving past him to give a gentle fuss to Makkachin’s ears.

“Oh. Yeah, yeah. I’ll come up later. Good night.” Yuuri furrowed his brow.

“Night.” Yuuri watched as Victor moved upstairs and he sighed, flopping himself down onto their sofa, Makkachin crawling up beside him for some company.

Yuuri sat, contemplating his life and after a couple of minutes, he went upstairs to join Victor in bed. He crawled into his side of the bed, noticing as Victor turned away from him. He turned to face the other way, lying on his side. He tried to close his eyes, but his mind was spinning. Victor nowadays didn’t say much more to Yuuri than “good morning,” or “have a nice day, be careful,” or “good night.” It was normally Yuuri who asked about Victor’s day, never the other way around. Yuuri’s heart squeezed, insecurities running wild in his over anxious mind.

Yuuri’s eyes were wide open, unable to sleep. He stared at the clock as it turned two o’clock, and he sighed and sat up, slipping out of bed. Victor stirred and woke.
“Where are you going?” Victor asked as light from the landing creeped into the room as Yuuri opened the door.

“To the dance studio.” Yuuri left, closing the door behind him as he grabbed his dance things and headed out. His ankle ached a little but he really didn’t care. He just wanted to get some fresh air.

On the way to the dance studio he passed the park bench that they used to sit down on whilst Makkachin ran around, talking about their day, talking about dance and skating, talking about their dreams. But nowadays it tended to just be Yuuri who sat there, waiting for Makkachin to tire herself out. Yuuri sat down and pulled out his phone.

To: Peach
Are you awake?”

From: Peach
Yeah, wassup

To: Peach
Nothing, just checking in. How’s Tokyo?

From: Peach
Lonely without you still :( idk if I should find a new room mate or not but I kinda don’t wanna lmao. How’s Russia?

Yuuri thought for a minute.

To: Peach
Okay I guess… I miss being home tho.

From: Peach.
That doesn’t sound reassuring. Are you not enjoying it? Is it victor? Shall I hit him for you?

Yuuri chuckled. Phichit always put a smile on his face without failure.

To: Peach
Please don’t hit anyone… it was great at first, and I really loved it but it’s just lonely. Victor leaves to coach and train at 10am and then he doesn’t get home until 8/9 and he’s tired and he eats and then just goes to bed. Sometimes he just goes to bed. I can’t even count on 1 hand how many times I’ve cooked dinner only to be told he went out to eat with Yakov or something.

To: Peach
He “stood me up”, so to speak, on a date the other week. It wasn’t his fault tho, his program was too long and he was panicking about it so I wasn’t mad. But that date was supposed to make up for dinners he’d missed with me. I’m not mad about it cause I know he’s busy but I guess I just wish he wouldn’t make me promises he isn’t sure he can keep…

To: Peach
Sometimes I wonder if it has something to do with the fact that when he proposed I said no, and if he spends more time at the rink to just avoid me… idk maybe I’m just being stupid. Sorry for bothering you.

From: Peach
You’re never a bother Yuuri!
Oh no… that doesn’t sound good. Have you tried telling him how you feel? Victor is normally one to be understanding!

To: Peach
Idek how to even start a conversation anymore…

From: Peach
Well how long has this been going on for?

To: Peach
I guess since July/August time… I can understand because it’s almost he beginning of the season and it’s really busy. I guess as a dancer who doesn’t have a specific season I can’t relate to it. I just wish he’d spend some more time at home with me, but that’s selfish of me to ask…

From: Peach
It’s not selfish, it’s perfectly normal to ask to spend time together. I thought he has a day off on Sunday?

To: Peach
He does but he tends to just stay in bed until 2, take a long bath, and we’ll walk Makkachin in almost complete silence, eat, and then sleep again. To be honest I think he’s just avoiding me for whatever reason so…

Then Yuuri thought.

To: Peach
What if he’s found someone else…

Yuuri began to tear up as his breath hitched at the possibility. It could be that Victor met someone he loved more than Yuuri. That would explain his avoidance, his late outings, their lack of actual dating… Yuuri felt his heart rate begin to speed up, his breathing began to get heavy as he clutched his phone with shaking hands, trying to keep himself together.

From: Peach
WOAH WOAH WOAH you just said yourself it’s the beginning of the season and he’s busy. Don’t jump to any conclusions Yuuri. I can practically see you now, take a deep breath. You said it yourself – he’s just busy.

Phichit was right – Victor was just busy. He was just a person with a full schedule.

To: Peach
Are you sure?

From: Peach
Yuuri, no jumping to conclusions, am I clear? Like you already said, he’s a busy person. So stop thinking like that and trust me future you will thank you.

To: Peach
You’re right… thanks for listening to me.

From: Peach
No problem <3

Yuuri told himself that Victor was extremely faithful. He told himself that. Standing up, he started the slow walk back to the apartment.

When he came back home Yuuri decided to spend the night in the spare room. He needed to clear his head. He swallowed a concoction of his anxiety medication and antidepressants and closed his eyes, trying to sleep again. It was the first time in months he’d felt the need to take his anxiety pills.

The next morning Victor woke up and the bed was empty. That was strange, Yuuri never woke up before him. He put his hand on the bed – cold. Yuuri didn’t come back in last night. Shooting out of bed, he called for Yuuri, phoning his phone. To his relief, he heard it vibrate from just beyond the door of the spare room. Victor smiled, calming his racing heart. But why had Yuuri spent the night there? Dismissing the question Victor went downstairs to make a coffee.

Yuuri came down not long later, looking more grumpy and miserable than usual.
“Morning, my Yuuri. How come you didn’t come back to bed when you came home?” Victor asked, setting two cups of coffee on the table.

“Sorry. I didn’t want to wake you.” Yuuri mumbled, resting his top lip on the rim of his coffee mug.

“Are you feeling okay, my sweet?” Victor asked, voice laced with worry as he swept his fingers through Yuuri’s soft hair. The act made Yuuri tear up. He missed the feeling of Victor’s soft hands touching him, stroking his hair at night while they laid together, touching his hips when they hugged at night.

“I’m fine.” Yuuri smiled wearily. “Just tired I guess.”
———————————————————————
There was a recent struggle of starting a conversation.

“Vitya, there’s a new movie I want to see, can we go to the cinema on Saturday night?” Yuuri asked, hopeful to spend some quality time with Victor for once.

“Sorry Yuuri, I have a photo shoot for Edea on Saturday, promoting their new range of skates and I’ve arranged to have dinner with them.” Yuuri stayed quiet.

“Oh.” Yuuri wasn’t sure what was worse, the fact that Victor just didn’t really seem to want to spend any time with him anymore or the fact that Yuuri would have been waiting on Saturday night with two plates of food only to find Victor wouldn’t be home for dinner had Yuuri not asked – it wouldn’t be short of the first time that has happened either. “Never mind then, it’s okay.” Yuuri sighed.
——————————————————————
The weekend rolled around and Yuuri hoped that Victor had some time to spend with him.
“Vitya, can you help me unload the dish washer please?” Yuuri asked, poking his head through the kitchen door.

“Can I do it in a minute? I think my legs are gonna fall off.” Victor sighed with an exhausted smile.

“Oh, uhh… sure.” Yuuri smiled back before returning to the kitchen. Yuuri reemerged from the kitchen a few minutes later to find Victor had fallen asleep with Makkachin on the sofa and with a soft sigh, he unloaded the dish washer himself.
———————————————————————
“Vitya, can you help me cook today, please, my feet and arms are burning.” Yuuri asked as he collapsed into their pitted sofa, Makkachin curled up with him.

“Can we just order a takeaway?” Yuuri sighed and pulled up a take away menu from the stack they kept.

“Fine. Choose something.” Yuuri handed him a menu and stood up to get a glass of water from the kitchen. He sat back down, feeling irritable and agitated. But a soft smile covered his face as Makkachin cuddles back up next to him, his fingers weaving through her soft curls.
——————————————————————
“Vitya, can you help me hang some of the clothes up?” Yuuri asked, but Victor sighed heavily.

“Can I have a break?” Yuuri was beginning to grow agitated – Victor hadn’t done any house chores in a while and quite frankly, Yuuri was getting a bit annoyed.

“Don’t you think you’ve had a long enough break?” Yuuri sighed quietly, clenching his fists as Victor whipped his head around to retaliate. For goodness sake, he had no energy for this.

Victor was ratty and tired and frustrated, and to put it bluntly, snapped.
“I pay most the bills, I paid for the apartment and part of your dance tuition what more do you want from me? I only have so much energy to share around you know.” This was the first time Victor had ever raised his voice at Yuuri and to be honest, it terrified him. Yuuri was stunned silent. Tears began to well in his eyes and his mouth fell open, before it closed again. Yuuri couldn’t believe his ears. His heart shattered into pieces, blood coursing through his eardrums. Victor then realised what he had just implied – that all Yuuri wanted was money. “Yuuri, I—“

Yuuri exploded, releasing everything that had plagued him for the last month or so. “Are you trying to guilt trip me? Is that what this is? Do you think I’m just a gold digger, who’s after anything I can get from you? Is that all our relationship is to you? You’ll spend your lousy money on me and I’ll never bother you again? Do you think that of me? I never asked you to pay for my dance tuition. I never asked you to buy a new apartment. I already told you why I never wanted to trust anyone ever again because this is exactly what would happen. I would be made to feel guilty because I’m a low earner with a dead end career. But no. Me, naïve and ignorant, believed that could never happen to me again. But look where I am.” Yuuri paused to take a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. But he was just so angry. Victor was the last person he expected to treat him like this.

“I thought moving here would be good for me, so I left everything behind. I packed my small suitcase and dropped everything. I left my best friend behind, I left my parents and sister behind, I left my work family behind. But I’m beginning to think I would have been better off back at home.” Yuuri’s knuckles turned white with the pressure he exerted clenching his fists, trying to keep his voice steady as small tremors threatened to ruin his demeanour.

“You aren’t the only one battling your own body you know. I still have to make an effort to cook and clean, and stay up waiting for you to come home. I still cook for you, knowing that the chances are you’ve already eaten without telling me but there’s an off chance that you haven’t. I still try and make dinner plans with you, only to be stood up. Sorry for wanting to spend some time with my virtually absent boyfriend, even if it is just doing house chores together.” Yuuri hissed venomously and Victor didn’t know what to say – he was at a loss for words.

“I—“ but no words come out.

“This is pointless because you don’t understand how I feel at all. I don’t know what happened to the man I fell in love with, but this certainly isn’t him. The man I fell in love with was considerate and caring. He told me he loved me every hour of every day. He comforted me through my own battles. But the man in front of me is not the same person I fell in love with. The person in front of me is… cold. Dismissive. Inconsiderate. It’s like I don’t even know you anymore.” Yuuri squeezes his eyes shut, trying to stop himself from crying as he looks dead into Victor’s eyes.

“And to answer your question, I guess I just wanted to feel loved. I don’t care about your money and I never did. Maybe I didn’t make that clear enough to you. And maybe for once you should try and see things through my eyes.” Yuuri stopped to try and calm his racing heart and cool his boiling blood before continuing.

“If you don’t love me anymore, then please just tell me so I can give up trying to live a fairytale. So I can go back to living a normal life with a café job.” Yuuri went quiet, sentences becoming quiet whispers, vulnerable and full of insecurities.

Yuuri turned towards the front door, grabbing the door handle.
“I thought you were ready to marry me, and it was just me who wasn’t ready. But I think you need to rethink that.” Yuuri was seething. “To be honest, this has really tormented me over the last month and a half. Not that I expect you to have noticed.” Yuuri left before Victor could say anything.

“Yuuri, wait—“ A feeling of guilt and regret shot through Victor and he got up, trying to chase Yuuri out of the door. Turning a corner he saw the door of the stairs slam shut, and Victor tried to chase after him, losing sight of him after a few flights of stairs.

Yuuri ran as fast as he could, enduring the slightly sharp pain shooting through his ankle as he flew down three flights of stairs before catching the elevator the rest of the way down. He sobbed to himself, chewing his bottom lip hard between his lips, and bolting out of the lift as soon as the doors opened. Yuuri ran to the studio, ankle pains forgotten and crying his eyes out, breathy sobs tumbled from his lips and silent tears fell down his pink cheeks. Now he was certain that Victor wanted to break up with him.

Chapter Text

Fumbling fingers struggled to unlock the back door to the dance studio and he finally made it in, slamming the door shut and immediately sliding down the door, tucking his face into his arms that rested atop of his knees.

After a few heavy breaths, he willed his stumbling legs to stand, and he pushed himself into the locker room to put on a top and his dance leggings. He needed to clear his head. Trembling thumbs selected a song on his phone, and he stood, allowing himself to think about the lyrics before he moved.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere, I would've followed you…
Say something, I'm giving up on you.

Yuuri wasn’t sure which emotion was more prominent – anger or sadness. His lungs burned from crying, his head already pounding. His eyes closed as he inhaled sharply. The pain in his ankle began to numb a little as he allowed himself to balance on the ball of his foot, spinning aimlessly as a plethora of emotions filled his head.

And I am feeling so small,
It was over my head,
I know nothing at all.
And I will stumble and fall,
I'm still learning to love,
Just starting to crawl.

Yuuri could feel tears mingling with sweat beading down his face and trickling down his neck. His heart pounded, blood rushing in his ears as his heart squeezed and pulled and tugged and split. His teeth gritted and his brow furrowed as he tried to drag his thoughts away from Victor and on to something else. But Yuuri realised he didn’t have anything else. The only things close to his heart were Victor and Makkachin, and dancing. There was nothing else for him to bring his attention to. There was no one else for him to talk to, no one else to comfort him. He only had Victor. And now he wasn’t even sure he was going to have him for much longer. Maybe Yuuri was wrong. Maybe Victor wasn’t the one for him, or rather, maybe he wasn’t the one for Victor. Insecurities from when they first started dating resurfaced again – how Victor could have anyone, but he chose Yuuri of all people and how Yuuri would be tossed aside when Victor was done.

Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Anywhere, I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you…

Yuuri brought his arms to his chest as his back arched, one leg gracefully extended back behind him. His back began to arch back a little further as his arms slowly unwound, reaching up towards the ceiling, as if to grasp for something. Arms reached back down to take a hold of his lifting leg, pulling it up gently into a perfect one hundred and eighty degree angle.

And I will swallow my pride,
You're the one that I love,
And I'm saying goodbye.

Yuuri was really trying hard not to cry anymore. Back in Japan when he was upset he had Phichit to cry to, Minako to talk to, Yuuko and Takeshi to cheer him up. He had his parents to check in on him, he had his friends to spend time with. In Russia it was Victor who fulfilled all of those roles. Yuuri began to realise that maybe he’d depended on Victor too much for these roles. Anxieties were creeping up again, the fear of losing Victor forever plaguing his mind. He was afraid. Yuuri was terrified of ending up back at square one, with no one and nothing to hold on to. Yuuri was so afraid of being abandoned and thrown away like a piece of garbage, kicked to the side and replaced by a newer, more confident, more successful model. This is not how he envisioned happiness to be.

Say something, I'm giving up on you,
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
And anywhere, I would have followed you.
Oh, say something, I'm giving up on you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you...
———————————————————————
Victor stared at the back entrance of the studio, panting heavily. He was about to go in when he saw Yuuri already there. He held himself back, resorting to just watching him instead. As he stared Victor has realised how much better and more experienced Yuuri had become as a dancer. He noticed the fluidity of Yuuri’s body, the way his arms stretched and his legs bent and his back arched. Everything he’d overlooked before. Because he hadn’t been paying attention to him.

Victor noticed the little cuts and blisters on his feet, the scabs from where his pointe shoes had rubbed. Victor noticed the tiny plasters covering fresh cuts, also from his pointe shoes. Victor noticed the ankle support – how long had he been wearing that? Victor noticed the bruises, all blue and green on his elbows and on the lower half of his calves. Everything he’d overlooked before. Because he hadn’t been paying attention to him.

But it was the tears that did it for him. Yuuri’s furrowed brow and bitten lips and tear stained cheeks. His red face and fresh tears falling over dried tears. Victor couldn’t hear the music, but he knew it ended when Yuuri let himself go, bringing himself down to the floor and burying his face in his arms which sat atop his knees. He so desperately wanted to go in and tug him in and hold him close. He wanted to keep him to his chest as Yuuri would try and squirm away from him. He wanted to apologise and pepper his soft cheeks in kisses and tell him over and over that he was sorry.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t because it was obvious that Yuuri did not want to see him. He did not want to see him.

To: Yuuri <3
I’ve apologised for a lot of things recently, but this one is the most painful. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to shout at you and snap. I never meant to make you feel insignificant and insecure. I’m sorry for not spending any time with you, for shouting at you for just wanting some attention. Please just come home.

Victor forced himself to pull away from the door, tugging his eyes away from a very distraught Yuuri and he forced himself to make the long and painful walk home.

Victor sat on the sofa, Makkachin sat by the door. His phone was in his hand, waiting for anything from his Yuuri.
Victor took a moment to think back to all of those dinners he’d not told Yuuri about, all of the cold meals on the dining room table that had gone to waste. He thought about that time he cancelled their first date in months. All those times Yuuri had curled up in bed with Makkachin because he was lonely, and all those times Yuuri stayed up waiting for Victor to come home. Was this how Yuuri felt? Worried sick and waiting for Victor to come home?

Victor had been a terrible partner, but Yuuri just endured it. Victor had been awful, he hadn’t paid Yuuri any attention, he hadn’t shown Yuuri any affection. Victor had been awful to Yuuri, snapping at him for something that wasn’t his fault, snapping at him for just wanting to spend some time together. Victor had been awful.

Guilt and regret courses through his body, his heart clenching as he waited tirelessly, on edge for Yuuri to walk through the door. And when he did, Victor would greet him with open arms, he would beg for Yuuri’s forgiveness and tell him how much Yuuri really meant to him.

To: Yuuri <3
Please come home… I love you so much I can’t even tell you how much I love you…

To: Yuuri <3
I’m sorry…

To: Yuuri <3
I know you just wanted to spend time with me, and I’m sorry I couldn’t see that.

Victor waited and waited for Yuuri to come home, much like Yuuri waited endlessly for Victor. The only difference was tonight, Yuuri wouldn’t come home.
——————————————————————
After what seemed like hours Yuuri finally made himself stand up. He left, wandering aimlessly around St. Petersburg, looking for a hotel to spend the night in.

“A room for two nights, please.” Yuuri sighed tiredly at the desk of a small hotel.

“Seven thousand three hundred rubles please.” Yuuri pulled out his card and slid it into the card reader. Oh, there wasn’t much left on it. He’d have to take up extra hours at the studio to put money back into his account.

The bed was cold. There was no dog, no boyfriend, no warm blanket. It was so empty. There was no soothing dog in his arms, no warm chest against his back, just empty, empty, empty.
Yuuri laid in bed, eyes wide open and throat on fire. He contemplated checking the texts received from Victor but to be honest, he didn’t want to hear it. Yuuri hated these feelings. He hated them so much.

He gripped the blankets hard, missing the feeling of Victor’s fingers tangled in his hair, something he hadn’t felt for a while. He missed the feeling of Victor’s fingers drawing soft patterns on his stomach, heavy breaths down the back of his neck. Fingertips touched the spot on his abdomen where Victor’s fingers used to wrap around, the touch burning and stinging. Yuuri gripped the soft, crisp pillow, turning his face to bury into the rented fabric.

Yuuri was so tempted to reach for his phone. He wanted to grab it and read every text Victor had spammed him with. But he knew that would be bad for him. That would be bad for him because Yuuri knew he had to teach himself to stand on his own two feet, without crumbling under someone else’s affection. Especially someone who seemed to only show it when it was necessary.

Yuuri was so… he couldn’t even describe it. Heck, he didn’t even know if he was distraught or livid or what. He loved Victor with all his heart, and it hurt him. It hurt because when you love someone as much as Yuuri loved Victor it should never be a question of whether they love you just as much. But that was a question. Yuuri’s heart beat hard, slipping and jumping at the very idea that Victor didn’t love him anymore. He’d always told himself that of course Victor loved him. Of course he did. And he always believed it. But Yuuri was not feeling that love and it was like his heart had just been kicked and tossed around.

Yuuri forced his eyes closed, unable to sleep due to his wild running thoughts.
———————————————————————
To: Yuuri <3
Let me know you’re okay at least…

Victor chewed his bottom lip between his teeth, his trembling hand grasping his phone hard. He looked at his phone – it was nearing three a.m and his eyes were beginning to fall shut. Victor willed himself to stay awake, his brows knitted together in the middle.

To: Yuuri <3
Just an “I’m okay” will do…

Victor didn’t sleep the whole night.
———————————————————————
Yuuri felt like shit the next morning. His eyes peeled open, immediately blinded by the sunlight. He furrowed his brow at the unfamiliar setting, before memories of the previous night came flooding back. He sat up, immediately feeling tears well up in his eyes. He gritted his teeth. “No,” he told himself. “No more tears.”

He picked up his phone and hesitantly unlocked it.

To: Yuuri <3
I’ve apologised for a lot of things recently, but this one is the most painful. I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to shout at you and snap. I never meant to make you feel insignificant and insecure. I’m sorry for not spending any time with you, for shouting at you for just wanting some attention. Please just come home.

From: Vitya <3
Please come home… I love you so much I can’t even tell you how much I love you…

From: Vitya <3
I’m sorry…

From: Vitya <3
I know you just wanted to spend time with me, and I’m sorry I couldn’t see that.

From: Vitya <3
Let me know you’re okay at least…

From: Vitya <3
Just an “I’m okay” will do…

Yuuri’s eyes watered. He bit his lip between his teeth, hitched sobs squeezing out of his throat as he read through each of Victor’s messages. Delicate fingertips lingered over the keyboard of his phone. Yuuri chewed his lip so hard he was sure it was going to have a hole in it. His thumb tapped out message after message full of feelings, only for them to be deleted - “I’m sorry too…” “I miss you.” “I love you.”

To: Vitya <3
I’m okay

Yuuri went through his camera roll, looking through each of the photos they had taken together. The pictures full of colour and smiles and laugher, the ones of their beautiful dog, the ones of them on a date, the ones of them in Hasetsu. They were full of life and colour. He reached the bottom of his camera roll – they hadn’t taken a single picture since June. The pictures they once took together were so bright and shiny, they were so happy. So why was everything suddenly so black and white?

Yuuri was at a loss for what to do. He’d never felt so lost in his life before; his surroundings were still unfamiliar, his situation was unfamiliar, everything was just so… scarily different than back home. Yuuri didn’t know how to deal with it.

To: Vitya <3
I need some time away. Sorry.

To: Peach
I wanna come home for a bit..

From: Peach
WOAH WHAT what happened WHAT DID HE DO what about dance? DO I NEED TO SLAP VICTIR

To: Peach
Please don’t slap anyone… Can you help me get a flight to Tokyo asap?

From: Peach
Yuuri are you sure?

To: Peach
Please… I need to get away for a week or so.

From: Peach
Alright hold on

From: Peach
Okay. You need to be at the airport for 5 today. Flight at 8
———————————————————————
From: Yuuri <3
I need some time away. Sorry.

Victor’s heart was racing. What could that mean? Where was Yuuri going? Victor felt tears filling his eyes, choked sobs tumbling from his lips. Then he realised. Yuuri was going to leave him.

Chapter Text

To: Yuuri <3
Baby where are you going please tell me

To: Yuuri <3
I’m so sorry please come home I just want you back safe

Knowing he probably wasn’t going to get a reply, Victor’s fumbling fingers phoned Yuuri. The phone rang.

“Hi, this is Yuuri. I can’t come to the phone yet, but if you leave a message after the tone I’ll phone back soon! Alternatively if it’s something you can tell Victor too, please try and phone him! See ya later!” Tears were welling up in Victor’s eyes. He phoned again, but this time, just to hear his voice.

“Hi, this is Yuuri. I can’t come to the phone yet, but if you leave a message after the tone I’ll phone back soon! Alternatively if it’s something you can tell Victor too, please try and phone him! See ya later!”

“Hi, this is Yuuri. I can’t come to the phone yet, but if you leave a message after the tone I’ll phone back soon! Alternatively if it’s something you can tell Victor too, please try and phone him! See ya later!”

“Hi, this is Yuuri. I can’t come to the phone yet, but if you leave a message after the tone I’ll phone…” Victor let out a shaky sigh before putting his phone down. Time was slipping through Victor’s fingers like sand. Yuuri was slipping through Victor’s fingers like sand. He couldn’t lose someone so important to him, he couldn’t. It would break him forever.

The phone rang.

“Yuur—“

“Vitya! Where are you?! You’re late! If you’re not here in ten I’m going to drag you here! Hurry up!” The gruff voice of Yakov shouted down the phone, almost deafening Victor.

“Yakov- wait!” But Yakov has cut the call already. With a frustrated grumble and a sigh, Victor grabbed his stuff. “Come on Makka, let’s go before Yakov has our heads.”

Victor couldn’t focus at all. He skated slowly along the edges of the rink, lost in his own thoughts. He was worried sick. He’d been so awful to Yuuri but he hadn’t even realise it until it was too late. Victor wanted to cry. He wanted to cry and scream and yell. He wanted to tell Yuuri over and over how much he really loved him and how sorry he was. A sharp voice pulled Victor from his thoughts.

“Vitya! Focus! What’s wrong with you today?!” Victor ignored him, continuing to ponder.

Where could Yuuri be? Victor thought. He could be anywhere, he could still be in Russia, he could be down the street at a hotel, he could be half way across the world. Victor just knew he wasn’t here. One place he was always welcome at, one place he would always get support at. Where could that be? Then Victor thought. Tokyo.

To: Phichit Chulanont
OKAY I MESSED UP AND IM SORRY BUT IS YUURI GOING TO TOKYO

From: Phichit Chulanont
If you tell me what you did I might tell you

To: Phichit Chulanont
Well Yuuri asked if I could help with the laundry and I asked if I could have a break first and then he said “haven’t you breaked long enough?” And I said something I totally regret and I’m sorry I just want to know if he’s safe ;A;

From: Phichit Chulanont
What did you say

To: Phichit Chulanont
I said that I already paid for the house and I pay the bills as well as your dance tuition what more do you want and I didn’t realise what I implied until after aND I REGRET IT AND IM AWFUL AND IM SORRY AND I KNOW YOURE GONNA SLAP ME BUT PLEASE TELL ME WHERE HE IS

From Phichit Chulanont
YOU SAID WHAT

From: Phichit Chulanont
I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO NOT TELL YOU

From: Phichit Chulanont
AND YOURE RIGHT I AM GONNA SLAP YOU

To: Phichit Chulanont
I KNOW IM AWFUL AND IM SORRY BUT PLEASE I JUST WANNA KNOW HES SAFE PLEASE TELL ME

From: Phichit Chulanont
Beg some more.

To: Phichit Chulanont
Please tell me… I’m worried sick and I just want him back ;-;

From: Phichit Chulanont
He’s on his way to Tokyo. You’d better think up a ridiculous way to make this up to him. And if you’re not on your knees GROVELLING and BEGGING for his forgiveness I’m going to make sure you can never hurt him again.

To: Phichit Chulanont
THANK YOU SO MUCH I OWE YOU BIG TIME

From: Phichit Chulanont
You don’t owe me anything – just make him happy.

Victor sped to the edge of the ice and whipped his skates off in quick time.
“Yakov, please take care of Makkachin for me. I have to do something.” Victor frantically asked.

“What the fuck is—“

“Please!”
———————————————————————
Yuuri sat in the taxi, staring out of the window. His stomach dropped as he reached the airport. He so desperately wanted to get out and run. Run back home, run to the rink, run to wherever Victor was. He wanted to run into Victor’s arms and sob and sob and sob and pound his fists against Victor’s chest. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t do that. He had to do this for himself. Yuuri needed this space to clear his head and get his thoughts together.

Everything was cold. Even for summer in St. Petersburg it was colder than when he’d first arrived in March. Everything had gone so downhill so quickly Yuuri couldn’t deal with it any longer. He couldn’t deal with this attitude Victor had, it was destroying him. Yuuri squeezed his eyes shut, allowing silent, painful tears to fall.

After he’d checked in he made it straight to his gate, sitting nervously. He was so alone and so cold and so upset. He wanted to lean his head on Victor’s shoulder and wrap himself in his arms. Yuuri was so conflicted with how he felt. He loved Victor so much but Victor only seemed to show him affection when it was absolutely necessary. It was like he didn’t care until now. All Yuuri wanted was some attention from Victor but apparently that was too much to ask.
———————————————————————
Victor sprinted. He sprinted the five miles to the airport, thanking his lucky stars that he never removed his passport from his travel bag after they came home from Hasetsu. Sprinting into the airport he was amazed to find very few people.

“When’s the earliest flight to Tokyo?” He asked, approaching the check in desk.

“You’re unlucky enough to have just missed one but the next one is in three hours time. There is one stop over in Beijing though.”Victor tutted.

“How long is the stop over in Beijing?”

“Five hours.” Victor pondered.

“When is the next available direct flight?” The woman hummed, rapping away at the keyboard.

“There’s one tomorrow morning at six o’clock.” Even if he stopped over in Beijing it would still get him there faster than waiting for the flight tomorrow.

“Can I have a first class return ticket for the flight in three hours time, returning in four days time.” Victor pulled out his wallet and opened it.

“That would be four hundred and ninety eight thousand seven hundred and sixty rubles please. Paying by card?” Victor nodded and swiped his credit card.

“That way to security then.” She pointed him towards the right and down past the other check in desks.

“Thank you.”
———————————————————————
Yuuri sat on the plane, waiting for it to take off. He leaned his head against the window, trying to fall asleep to the subtle rumble of the aircraft engines. He thought about Victor. About what he was doing right now, if he had eaten lunch, if he was worrying over where Yuuri was. Yuuri, to be honest, was beginning to slightly regret this. He wanted to get off the aircraft and run. But he couldn’t. He forced himself to try and sleep but his thoughts wondered to Victor again.

Yuuri tried to tug his thoughts away from Victor to something else but Yuuri realised he only had Victor. Victor was the only pillar, the only person he had here. Yuuri didn’t have anyone else and right now, he didn’t even have Victor. Yuuri’s heart hurt as it tore in two just thinking about him. About his gorgeous cerulean eyes, his shiny platinum hair, his one hundred kilowatt smile. Yuuri missed him greatly. The way he smelt of his berry cologne, the way his fingers slipped perfectly through the smooth silver locks. Thinking about Victor was making him cry because he loved him so much. But isn’t it difficult to love someone who you aren’t sure loves you the same?

Maybe Yuuri was difficult to love and maybe he’d have to come to terms with that soon. But he wasn’t ready to let go of Victor yet. He still wanted Victor more than anything in the whole world and he was willing to fight to the stars and back for Victor, he just needed time to clear his thoughts. They couldn’t talk to each other when Yuuri was so angry and emotional. Sometimes, Yuuri wished he’d told Victor how he felt before it all boiled over and blew up right in front of their faces, but then Yuuri remembered - it’s difficult to try to talk to someone who’s barely ever there, isn’t it?
———————————————————————
After a struggle with security about why he’d only bought a ticket half an hour ago and why he has no luggage and why he’s returning from Hal way across the world in four days time, Victor was finally able to relax a little, knowing that soon, he’d be chasing after Yuuri. However, Victor found himself restless, his leg bouncing up and down as he sat outside the gate.

Victor had taken Yuuri for granted. Everything Yuuri did for him he’d taken for granted and hadn’t realised until now. But one thing stood out to him. Yuuri stayed awake until Victor came home to make sure he was safe, cooking dinner every night even though Yuuri knew Victor had probably already eaten. Victor thought back, and so many nights he’d noticed two cold, untouched meals on the dining room table. Yuuri would always wait for Victor to come home so they could eat together, but a lot of the time Victor had already eaten. Yuuri didn’t eat on those nights. Victor thought back to Yuuri’s smile, his precious smile that lit up the world and everything around them. The smile he hadn’t seen in weeks.

Victor was riddled with guilt. He wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if Yuuri decided he was done with him. Was it too late to turn around? Victor wasn’t ready to face the possibility. Victor could handle being dropped and abandoned by other people but not by Yuuri. He’d stood back up when his father left, he’d stood back up when his mother left, he’d stood back up when ex lovers left but being abandoned by Yuuri would destroy his heart and his soul, and his body too. He would not be able to stand back up again. Victor’s skin crawled with fear as he scratched at his arms until they were peeling. Victor was difficult to love and he knew it. He knew that already and the last thing he expected to happen was to find someone who could stand him and who could love him for who he was. It surprised Victor, at first, that Yuuri found him so easy to get along with. Victor weakened under Yuuri, he found himself loosening up and able to let go a little.

Victor had always had a clear outlook on life. He always knew what he wanted to do, what he wanted from himself, when he wanted it, and how. But for the first time in a long time, Victor was lost. His path was clouded by feelings of sadness, regret, and guilt, all looming over him. For once, he didn’t know how he wanted anything. He just knew he wanted Yuuri. He didn’t know how to get there.

Victor knew Yuuri wasn’t made of steel. In fact, possibly the complete opposite. Yuuri was soft, yet strong, and even he had a breaking point. Victor had pushed him to that breaking point. Victor used to be strong and independent. But not anymore. He needed Yuuri more than anything and everything, and he was about to lose him.
———————————————————————
The flight was long. Too long, if you asked Yuuri. He was unable to sleep for more than half an hour at a time – his head was just too full. Full of irrational thoughts, full of rational ones, full of terrifying ones that haunted him in his sleep. Yuuri’s eyes peeled awake, his hand automatically reaching for Victor’s non-existent hand. Oh, he wasn’t there.

Yuuri had never felt so alone before. He’d felt alienated before in university, but there was always Phichit there to make sure he was never alone. But here in St. Petersburg, he truly learnt the meaning of the word “alone”. Yuuri hated that feeling. He felt like he was beginning to lose himself and lose sight of himself.

These habits, reaching over every morning to grab Victor’s hand, and trailing his fingertips towards Victor’s before letting them go, were habits he’d developed over the last six months. If Victor ever left him these habits would haunt him for years to come. He’d broken a lot of habits before, such as biting his nails, tapping his feet, scratching his hands, and it was relatively easy. But these habits with Victor were ones he wasn’t sure how to break. He wasn’t sure they could be broken. In ten years time maybe Yuuri would be reaching over every morning to an empty side of the bed, still trying to find the hand he’s so used to grabbing.

Yuuri couldn’t wait to land and break down and cry.

Yuuri used to be strong and independent. But not anymore. He needed Victor more than anything and everything, and he was about to lose him.

Chapter Text

Yuuri landed. He stood with shaking legs to exit the aircraft, thankful that he didn’t have to wait for any cargo luggage. The rest of the journey out of the exit was like a trance, going through security, going through customs, all a huge exhausted blurry fragment of his mind. What finally put a smile on his face was Phichit waiting to pick him up. Yuuri released a sigh of relief.
“I missed you.” Yuuri said being pulled into a hug.

“I missed you too. Let’s go home, order takeout, and you can cry.” Phichit chuckled, ruffling his hair before hopping into the taxi. Yuuri sheepishly smiled, slipping into the taxi. He leaned his head against the window, letting out a soft sigh and watching his breath condense on the window. The car journey was relatively quiet, just the occasional direction from Phichit to the taxi driver. Yeah, Yuuri missed being in Japan.

They got back and Phichit immediately ordered a take out.

“So. Tell me everything.”

Yuuri went right back to the beginning of August.
———————————————————————
Victor nervously twiddled his thumbs as he sat on the aircraft, impatient and eager for it to land. The flight to China was eight hours long, and then he had a three hour lay over before his four hour flight to Tokyo. Victor just wanted to get there faster than fast. Victor wished Yuuri were here. But then again, if Yuuri were with him, Victor wouldn’t be on this flight in the first place. Suppose he wishes Yuuri were with him instead. Victor remembered on the plane to Fukuoka Yuuri would grab his hand and lace their fingers together when he slept. The weight of Yuuri’s head on his shoulder and the warmth of the hair tickling his neck would send Victor to sleep.

Victor couldn’t sleep. He sat awake for the entire flight, not having slept in almost twenty four hours. Victor thought about how he couldn’t sleep without Yuuri wrapped in his arms, but it took him a moment to realise that he’d been doing that for weeks – Yuuri had Makkachin wrapped up in his arms instead. More guilt began to flood Victor’s body and he gritted his teeth, forcing himself not to cry. Victor wished he had noticed something wasn’t right earlier, much earlier. He wished he’d held Yuuri to sleep every night, told him he loved him every day, bid him to be careful every morning. He wished he’d made more of an effort to help Yuuri with his insecurities, he wished he’d made more of an effort with house chores, he wished he’d spent quality time with Yuuri.

Victor had made many mistakes in his life. Many, many, many mistakes. But driving Yuuri away and making him feel unloved was the worst. It was the worst mistake of his life, and he’d give up anything to fix it. Victor wanted to treat Yuuri as he deserved to be treated – like a king. But would it be too late for that? Victor could only answer that when he landed in Tokyo.
———————————————————————
“I just want to know what I did wrong.” Yuuri said quietly. Was it something I did? Or didn’t do? Is it because I’m insecure and difficult to live with?” Yuuri questioned. “Is it because he’s wasting money on something I’m not even good at? I just want to know.” Yuuri bit his lip, his hands gripped together, squeezing and digging his nails into his own palms, threatening to piece flesh.

“Does he just… not love me anymore? Maybe I should just move back to Japan and leave. He’ll be happier without me anyway – he won’t feel the need to help me pay for my dance tuitions if I just quit and leave. He won’t have anyone to nag him and make him help around the house. He’ll have a whole bed to himself. I should just clear out and leave. It doesn’t seem like he wants me around anymore anyway.” Snot was leaking from Yuuri’s nose as he sat on the sofa, knees tugged up to his chest and arms around his folded legs.

“Maybe if I never served him that day I wouldn’t be in such a mess.” Yuuri gritted his teeth, the light in his eyes dull and clouded by tears.

Yuuri couldn’t stop the droplets in his eyes anymore. He let his eyes run and run until they were dry, until his nose was empty and his lungs were burning and his throat was sore. Phichit handed him a box of tissues and some water.

“There’s no one more lovable than you are, Yuuri. You’re kind hearted and sweet, and you just care too much about people who might not even be worth it. It’s Victor’s mistake, not yours. So I’m gonna beat him up, and you’ll be okay.” Yuuri couldn’t even hear over the high pitched ringing in his head and Phichit sighed softly, covering Yuuri in a blanket. “You’ll be alright, it’ll be alright.”
———————————————————————
After crying a river and humiliating himself Yuuri was out like a light, and Phichit carried him to his old bedroom, covering him with a blanket.

Yuuri found himself tossing and turning, searching for some kind of warmth or contact, a hand to hold, a dog to cuddle. He was looking for a nose pressed against the back of his nose, and a slightly wet nose tucked under his chin. He was looking for muscular, smooth legs tucked between his own, and four fluffy legs rested next to his hips and thighs. Neither of those things were found.

Yuuri sat up and stared out of the window, staring up at the night sky.

When they first met, Victor would surprise him with a bouquet of flowers and a date. When they started dating he would get flowers, a date, and a kiss. When he moved to St. Petersburg the flowers would be replaced by silly stereotypical tourist-y memoirs like St. Petersburg magnets, and those cheesy key-rings to decorate their home, but he would still get a date and a kiss. Now, Yuuri couldn’t even tell you the last time he got a date and a memoir.

When they first met, Victor would pick him up from dance or work, and they would get lunch, sometimes dinner. They would chat and smile and laugh together, trying to get to know each other a little better. When they first started dating Victor would still pick him up from dance or work, he’d get a kiss, and they’d get lunch or dinner. They would chat and smile and laugh together, holding hands across the table and fondly kiss each other. When Yuuri first moved to St. Petersburg, Victor would pick him up from the dance studio. They would walk Makkachin home, they would laugh and smile and chat, then get dinner. Now, Yuuri couldn’t even tell you the last time they walked Makkachin together.

Tear droplets began to fill his tired eyes, the pale skin of his cheeks reddening along with the tip of his nose. Hitched and choked sobs forced their way out of his throat as he clutched his blanket, pulling his head under the covers and thoughts of where Victor’s once ever-sparkling love for him disappeared to. Yuuri had never felt so isolated.
——————————————————————
When the aircraft finally hit the ground in Beijing Victor let out a sigh of relief, eager to get out of the stuffy, muggy air of the plane. He was growing impatient and agitated, tapping his foot on the floor as he waited to disembark. Victor sped past everyone as they got off the plane, power walking to follow “flight transfer” signs. Great, now he had five hours to kill before he could finally finish the last leg of his journey. He couldn’t bring himself to sleep until he got on the plane to Tokyo. Restless and ratty, he decided to calm his nerves with a sad, sad premium meal for one in the airport’s priority suite.

Victor took two bites of his noodle dish and found himself unable to stomach anymore. Even though he hadn’t eaten in close to a full day he just wanted to throw up whatever he ate. Even on the way to Beijing he didn’t eat anything. His stomach growled and begged for something, anything, but Victor was just unable to eat out of nerves. He downed an entire bottle of water as sharp pains of a headache hit his head. He hissed, sighing deeply.

To: Yuuri <3
I love you so much ♡

Standing up, Victor tried to change his chain of thoughts by looking at some of the souvenir shops, looking for something to add to their collection of cheesy souvenirs from Tokyo, Hasetsu, and St. Petersburg. It took a while but eventually he found a snow globe with an admittedly sloppy sculpting of the Forbidden Palace. Victor picked it up and chuckled.

A memory hit Victor from when Yuuri first moved in with him.

“Vitya! Look at this!” Yuuri rushed over to Victor, with a large grin, with a snow globe in hand. The snow globe had a rather haphazard miniature model of the St. Catherine’s palace stood inside, snowflakes floating around in the clear, glittery glass. Victor chuckled.

“I can have one custom made for you, if you want. The paint work is a little sub-par if you ask me.” Victor laughed, and Yuuri pouted.

“But don’t you think it’s cute? A little bit of décor for our home.” Victor chuckled again and plucked it from Yuuri’s fingertips.

“I guess it is quite cute. Won’t it look nice on our mantelpiece?” Victor said, asking towards the till as a happy Yuuri reaches to hold his hand.

“It would.”

Victor pulled his head back to the present day, snow globe in hand as he went up to the till to pay for it. Another memoir, albeit a sad one, for their mantelpiece. If it were going to still be their mantelpiece in a few days.
———————————————————————
Yuuri tugged his knees up to his chest, arms wrapped around his knees as he silently cried to himself. He unwrapped himself from the blankets and sat up, tugging his knees to his chest again. He glanced around at the near empty room, with a half empty wardrobe, and a bedside swept clean. Except for one thing.

Yuuri’s cold hand reached for a black photo frame on his bedside table and he held it. The picture was of him and Victor, Makkachin slotted between them. Makkachin was licking Yuuri’s face, Yuuri’s eyes closed in a big, heartfelt smile as his arms curled around Makkachin. Victor held the phone, just a step or two in front of them with his heart shaped smile.

Yuuri smiled sadly at the photo, then set it back down. He remembered something. Opening the drawer closest to him, Yuuri pulled out a little pouch covered in pink hearts and he unzipped it. Inside was a collection of small pieces of card, taken from every bouquet of flowers Victor had ever gifted him.

“To Yuuri!
I hope you like sunflowers!
Victor”

“My dearest Yuuri,
Here is 120 roses as a congratulations for your show <3
Victor”

“My sweet Yuuri,
Congratulations on your graduation. I love you <3
Victor <3”

Yuuri flicked through all of the tiny cards, prominent messages bringing forwards recollections of which bouquets they were attached to. A bright smile came to his face as he read each of the little notes of love, some of them sweet, some of them cheesy, but every single one full of love.

“My beautiful Yuuri,
A hand picked selection just for you! I hope you like hydrangeas. I love you!
Victor <3”

Yuuri slipped all of the notes back into the pouch and zipped it back up, careful hands placing the pouch back into the drawer, closing it softly. Yuuri picked up his phone from the bedside table, going to check the time when he remembered it had been switched off for the last day or so. He resisted the temptation to turn it on, resorting to setting it back on the bedside table.

Yuuri stayed awake, watching the sunrise. He hadn’t even noticed he’d been awake until Phichit knocked on his door. He snapped his attention towards the door as it opened.

“How long have you been awake?” Phichit asked, coming in with a cup of coffee.

“Oh. I… I couldn’t sleep… to be honest I don’t really know.” Yuuri sighed as Phichit sat at the end of his bed.

“Feeling better?” Yuuri shook his head.

“Not really.”

“Wanna go out for lunch?” Yuuri shook his head again.

“Not really.”
———————————————————————
Victor stared at the snow globe, hoping it would at least crack a tiny smile from Yuuri’s face. He found his eyes flicking between the clock on the wall and the snow globe as he sat at the gate, waiting for the last leg to Tokyo. His head whipped around when he heard the doors to the tunnel slide open, and the calling of first class seat passengers to come forwards. Releasing a deep breath, Victor stood up and went to queue up.

Chapter Text

The second flight felt even longer than the first flight, and it was half as long as well. Victor leaned his head on the window, drowning out all the sounds that weren’t the subtle growl of the engines. Soon enough, an air hostess came down the aisle with a notepad. Victor looked at the time on his TV screen.

“Good evening sir, today we have a selection of stacks and sandwiches on our menu, would you like to order now or would you like me to come back?” Victor reached for the menu in the pocket of his seat, but he still wasn’t feeling well enough to eat.

“I’m sorry, I’ll just have a cup of water please.” Victor sighed, sliding the menu back into the pocket. The hostess nodded.

“I’ll be right back.”

As he watched the remaining flight time get shorter and shorter Victor grew more and more nervous. His leg began to bounce up and down as he tried to calm his racing heart and trembling hands as the minutes ticked.
Victor was very very tired. His skin was pale and slightly dry, his lips chapped and dark circles highlighting his tiredness. The air conditioning on the plane was drying out his eyes and lips, yet his palms were sweating like crazy.

He just wanted to be in Tokyo already.
———————————————————————
What was simply mere hours felt like days. Days of heart racing, palm sweating, leg shaking agony but finally Victor landed in Tokyo, tired, and pretty certain he was about to collapse. Victor was irritated – he experienced the same customs and security struggle as he had in St. Petersburg, about why he bought a ticket yesterday, had no luggage at all, was only here for four days… Victor just wanted to scream his lungs burning out.

It was nearing one o’clock in the morning when Victor finally freed himself from the airport. Tired, frustrated, and sure Yuuri would be asleep, Victor found a room at a hotel for the night.

“Room for three nights please.” He sighed to the woman at the reception desk. She tapped away at her keyboard to find him an available room.

“One hundred and sixteen thousand please. Card or cash?” Victor pulled his card out of his wallet and slipped it into the card machine.

Once he’d paid and received his key, he flopped down on the bed and immediately closed he eyes. He didn’t even care that he was sweaty and gross – he’d have to deal with that tomorrow and go and buy a change of clothes or something. He sighed into the fresh sheets and pulled out his phone.

To: Yuuri <3
The bed is cold without you… I miss you ♡
———————————————————————
Yuuri moped around all day, only leaving his room once Phichit had left for work, and refused to eat anything but an apple and a glass of water. Food just… wasn’t appealing in the slightest. His stomach grumbles and growled and churned after only taking a few bites of dinner yesterday, but he just couldn’t really eat.

He’d tried to entertain himself, turning on the TV, reading a book, but nothing was working. Yuuri wasn’t even sure what he was upset about anymore, whether it was Victor, whether it was missing Victor, whether it was himself. Yuuri didn’t even know what day it was or what time it was, just that he wished time would pass faster. Like they say, time heals even the deepest of wounds.

He couldn’t help but feel bitter. He was so, so bitter about how Victor had treated him like a second class citizen, someone that wasn’t worth his energy or attention – something rather than someone. Yuuri liked to try to convince himself that he was worth everything he had, that he deserved to be loved and appreciated. But that’s pretty difficult to do when even your own loved doesn’t seem to think that.

Yuuri finally plucked up the courage to turn on his phone. Immediately what caught his eye was the many messages from Victor, dating back three days. His heart hurt. Guilt filled his pained heart as he realised he’d ignored Victor for over seventy two hours. He slid the messages open and read them all, the latest one making him cry.

From: Vitya <3
The bed is cold without you… I miss you ♡

Yuuri felt exactly the same. Nothing was the same without Victor. Shaking fingers looked over the keyboard of his phone, tears falling from his eyes as his nose ran. He hesitated. Yuuri couldn’t get his fingers to move. They froze, as the series of Victor’s texts replayed over and over in his head and all Yuuri was filled with was guilt. Guilty because he’d just fled without even telling Victor where to. Guilty because he’d screamed at Victor and hadn’t even given him a chance to speak. Guilty because he’d ignored all texts and messages. Guilty… guilty… guilty.

Yuuri clenched his fists in frustration, gritting his teeth together to stop himself from screaming. His trembling heart was breaking in all of the wrong ways as he realised how much he truly needed Victor’s company. Yuuri sat in bed, crying his eyes out as his head throbbed and his throat ached. He was craving comfort, craving a hug off Victor. He wanted those warm arms wrapped tightly around him, embracing in the skin on skin contact that would soothe his racing heart and his jumbled mind.

Yuuri’s face tucked into Victor’s neck, his nose brushing Victor’s jaw would pull his drowning mind from its poisonous thoughts. The hand running up and down his thigh would give Yuuri’s mind some guidance, somewhere to follow. The soft hush in his ear would calm his frantic mind and bring him nothing but love and reassurance.

Yuuri needed Victor so much because he was painfully in love with him. It was official – he did not know how to live without Victor anymore. He just wasn’t sure if Victor was just as infatuated.

After crying until his throat was like sand paper, Yuuri finally was able to type out a reply. He pondered for eons about what his response should be. “I miss you…” “I love you…” “I’m sorry…” “I need you…” “everything is wrong without you…”

To: Vitya <3
I just want a hug…
———————————————————————
Victor ordered room service but was still unable to eat without wanting to be sick. He slowly sipped the coffee, far too milky for his liking. Yuuri would have made it perfect, the balance between bitter and milky just right, with an extra bit of caramel he knew Victor loved. The chicken thigh was bland, the skin no where near crispy enough for Victor. Yuuri would have pan fried the skin first, exactly how he knew Victor loved.

He sat on the hotel bed with his phone in his hand, still waiting for something, anything from Yuuri. Every time his phone lit up with a notification, Victor scrambled to check it, only to be disheartened and disappointed each time.

The next time his phone chimed, he was not disappointed. It was from Yuuri. His heart rate sped up by a million times and his palms were sweating like mad. The storms outside his window were deafening, ringing in his ears as his breaths grew heavy. Trembling fingers slid the message open.

From: Yuuri <3
I just want a hug…

Victor’s eyes widened. Yuuri wanted a hug, and Victor was going to give him the biggest hug, even at almost ten o’clock at night. In essence, yes, he flew half way across the world for a hug. But not just any hug. A hug that he was hopeful would be the first steps in drawing them back together.

He immediately got out of bed and went to sort himself out. He looked in the bathroom mirror, and looked much much less than presentable, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He brushed his teeth and sprayed, and was out the door in quick time.

Rain was tumbling down the Tokyo evening skies, thunder rumbling and disrupting what would have been a very peaceful, cloudy night. When he made it out onto the streets Victor had to compose himself and focus his mind to read the street signs and piece together where he was and where he had to go.

All the times he’d gone to Yuuri’s had been from the direction of a different prefecture to where he was. With a foggy mind and an unclear memory, Victor pulled up a map on his phone to try to determine how he was going to get to Yuuri. The stormy weather was not helping at all, his hair becoming matted to his forehead with rain, and his yoga pants stuck to his legs, the rain chilling his already cold flesh. Victor shivered, but tried to focus his mind on the map.

Victor sprinted, putting his minimal Japanese to the test to ask for directions, and still being confused after getting what would have been a perfectly coherent answer. The rain hit his silver promise ring, sending chills up the whole of his body as the cold metal sat on his finger. He stared at the ring.

This ring was his promise to Yuuri to always be there. “Always”, the ring said. Victor reminisced in the beautiful, gleaming smile on Yuuri’s face when Victor had gifted him the ring in a satin covered box on the day of his graduation as a congratulations gift. He remembered the soft touch of Yuuri’s palm against his as they held hands, their rings clinking together and the metal reflecting sunlight. Victor’s heart did back flips at Yuuri’s smile. It had him weak at his knees, weak at his heart. With a new found determination, Victor cleared his head.

It was getting towards late evening. The night skies were emerging, and so were a multitude of people – tourists out late night shopping, party-goers our at clubs, friends out having fun at bars. Victor still had no idea where he was as he got on the subway, trying to remember what area it was that Yuuri used to live in. He could recognise the name but it was a little difficult to remember. It took him two changes on the subway to finally get to where he needed to be. God, it would have been so much easier to take a taxi, but hey, Victor likes a challenge. Especially if that challenge can prove to Yuuri that he is well and truly very much in love with him.

It had taken him literal hours to navigate himself from the airport hotel to the other side of Tokyo to find Yuuri. It was almost midnight, and if he didn’t find Yuuri now it’d be a gruelling, heart breaking journey back to the hotel. Victor’s head hurt, a dull ache radiating in the back of his eyes and the frontal lobe of his brain. He clutched his head as he walked into a convenience store to grab some water.

Victor was dizzy. He was so dizzy by the time he reached Yuuri’s street. He hadn’t eaten in close to three days, had barely slept at all. His stomach was crying and so were his burning, ice cold legs. Rain ran all down his top, sticking it to his abdomen as he carried his tired legs the last bit of the way.

Victor finally made it to Yuuri’s building and up the stairs. He got to Yuuri’s floor and suddenly his stomach dropped. Something stopped him. Victor couldn’t get his feet to advance and the sudden urge to turn around and fly home took over his whole body. Something just nagged at him, biting at the back of his mind and the fact that Yuuri might not ever want him back was suffocating him. Victor’s legs wanted to collapse under him, cold hands trembling as his heart pounded.

Victor bit his lip. Anxieties ran through his head, and flash backs of every time a lover had dumped him played back and forth, back and forth, back and forth like a record player stuck on replay. Victor did not want to add another record to that player, especially a record of Yuuri saying those dreaded words – “I’m sorry Victor, but I can’t be with you anymore.” “I’m sorry Victor, but you’re just too much.” But the absolute worst one, “I’m sorry Victor, but I don’t love you anymore,” would be the one to break him the most. The one that would tear his heart up and break his mind and snap his bones.

Victor paled. He felt sick to his stomach, unsure of whether this was ever a good idea. He was so stupid. There are so many things he should have done better, so many things he wish he had and hadn’t done. Victor craved a second chance, but he wasn’t very confident he’d get one.

After a short battle with his own head, Victor forced his legs to move towards the door of Yuuri’s old apartment. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but his hand stopped just before he hit it. Victor couldn’t stop himself having second thoughts. Tears were streaming down his face and silent cries tumbling from his lips. His hair was still matted to his head, leggings and top still stuck to his body and soaked through with rain. Victor felt dazed and dizzy, but taking another shaking breath, Victor’s hand collided with the door.
———————————————————————
Yuuri thought it was strange when there was a knock on the door. Phichit had a key – why did he need to knock? He slipped out from his pile of blankets and went to the door, opening it.

Much to his surprise, a very pale, very red, very wet Victor stood before him, his legs threatening to buckle beneath him.

Yuuri’s breath hitched.

Chapter Text

“V-Vit— w-what are you… Vit—“ Tears began to well in Yuuri’s already wet eyes, his hands trembling as they came to cover his face in shock, squeezing his eyes shut. What was Victor doing here? How did he know Yuuri was in Tokyo? Questions and questions flooded Yuuri’s mind, but only one thing flooded Yuuri’s heart – love.

“Yuuri…” Victor stepped forwards into the apartment, his heart pounding and his palms sweating as he waited for Yuuri to say something. Yuuri lifted his head slowly, his head turning away quickly as he clenched his fists, soft cries filling the air between them. Yuuri took a deep breath and took a glance back at Victor. This was real – Victor was right in front of him.

Yuuri realised Victor was soaked through, his leggings and top almost clear as they stuck to his skin, rain dripping all down his back and front and down the tips of his now dull grey hair. Yuuri’s heart sank. Victor’s cheeks were red and splotchy, the outline of dried tears covered his cheeks. The sight of Victor so disheveled bought tears to Yuuri’s eyes. He sobbed.

Yuuri sobbed because Victor had gone out of his way to find Yuuri, to chase Yuuri, to leave Russia for him so close to a major competition. Not only that, but Victor seemed to have run in the rain to get to him. A trembling hand reached up to cup Victor’s cheek. It was icy cold, almost frozen but Victor did not care.
“You’re… f-freezing…” Yuuri swallowed the hard lump in his throat.

Victor snapped out of his trance. He stared at Yuuri’s face, glowing and stained with dried tears. The sight split Victor’s heart into a million pieces and immediately his knees buckled under Yuuri’s warm touch.
“I’m so sorry Yuuri…” Victor’s hands came up to cover his face as he kneeled at Yuuri’s legs, broken breaths falling from his between his gritted teeth as his eyes squeezed shut, his body shaking. “It’s my fault for driving you away. I never meant to hurt you or make you feel unloved. All I cared about was myself when really I should have spent every free hour I had with you.” Victor was too ashamed to even look up at Yuuri.

“You were all alone all this time and I was too blind to see anything and too naïve to even think to notice anything.” Victor gritted his teeth, his hands still hiding his flooded face and red cheeks. “All I ever wanted was for you to be happy but I was just so…” Victor couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Yuuri had no words, just teary, heartfelt cries of sadness. He dropped to his knees and wrapped both arms around Victor’s neck, his head falling on his shoulder. Hesitant fingers gripped Yuuri’s back tightly as quiet, choked sobs mingled in the air.

Yuuri missed the scent of Victor so much. He buried his nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply and releasing a shaky sigh of relief amongst their cries. Victor’s normal fruity smell was faint, too faint. The normal glint in his eyes had dulled, along with his bright smile now dark. Yuuri held on to Victor for dear life, afraid to let him slip through his fingers. His fingertips scratched at his own arms anxiously, afraid that Victor was just going to disappear into thin air.

Victor missed the scent of Yuuri so much. The normal smell of honey and roses now dissipated, replaced by a salty aroma of tears. Yuuri’s normally smooth skin was hoarse, dry patches covering his cheeks and nose. Victor’s fingertips dig into Yuuri’s back as he cried, never wanting to let him slip by again. Victor noticed the way Yuuri’s skin had paled, his arms cold around his neck, begging for contact.

Yuuri was almost screaming into Victor’s shoulder, loud sobs resonated through the apartment as hitched cries and stuck breaths forced their way up Yuuri’s sore throat. Yuuri’s head throbbed but he didn’t care. He didn’t care at all. The last few weeks had been awful, but the last few days had been hell. They had been terrible and Yuuri had never been so close to losing it.

Victor tried to pull himself together as he forced himself to stop crying, his hands coming to run up and down Yuuri’s back. Victor quietly hushed Yuuri, kissing his ear and his temple as Yuuri gripped onto him tightly, shaking with fear.
“Shh… it’s okay.” Victor was desperately trying to fight back more tears as he cradled Yuuri in his arms. “It’s okay Yuuri.” Victor breathed deeply, Yuuri hiccuping and between tears and squeezing Victor tightly.

Victor had never held someone so vulnerable in his arms before. Yuuri was shaking like a leaf, tears soaking his already wet shoulder, fingertips digging into the flesh of his shoulder blades. Victor felt so culpable. He had made Yuuri feel like this – feel unlovable and insecure and anxious. He was the reason Yuuri was sobbing in his arms, heart breaking into a million and one pieces. It was his fault. It was all Victor’s fault, and it took him weeks to realise. It took him almost losing his boyfriend to realise.

Victor held Yuuri tightly in his arms until he stopped crying. Yuuri eventually cried himself to sleep on Victor’s shoulder and Victor was unsure whether he’d fainted or was just exhausted. He sat for a moment, contemplating everything that just happened. It was nearing two o’clock in the morning and Victor picked Yuuri up, one arm under his knees and the other under his neck and shoulders. He had to balance to kick his shoes off before carrying Yuuri to his room.

Victor hadn’t watched Yuuri while he slept in so long. Victor stayed propped up on one elbow as he watched Yuuri’s tear-stained yet peaceful face as he slept. Victor brushed a strand of hair behind Yuuri’s ear, cupping his cheek and running his thumb across his soft face.

Victor really took his time to admire Yuuri’s features. Yuuri’s adorable button nose was cute and round, and twitched ever so slightly when he snored. Victor’s next focus were Yuuri’s lashes. They were long and luscious and thick, and when Yuuri danced sweat cling to the tips of the fine lashes, reflecting light and really brightening his eyes. Victor knew that Yuuri often coated his lashes in Vaseline, making them ever so slightly longer and thicker.

Victor still appreciates the feel of Yuuri’s slightly dry skin under his hands, despite the fact that his skin is normally soft and smooth. It just tells Victor that Yuuri has failed to take care of himself recently. With a gentle sigh, Victor reached over to the second drawer of the bedside table to reach for the small pot of face cream he knows Yuuri keeps there. Scooping a small dollop on the tips of his fingers, Victor swiped the slightly whipped cream over Yuuri’s cheeks, gently massaging as he slept.

Victor kissed the tip of Yuuri’s nose before laying back down on the bed. His arms came around Yuuri’s torso, tucking his nose into the back of Yuuri’s neck just as he’d missed so dearly.
“I love you, my Yuuri.” And for the first time in days, both Victor and Yuuri felt like they could sleep.
———————————————————————
Rays of sunlight pierced through the curtains of Yuuri’s room. A sudden warmth confused him, but he quickly relaxed in Victor’s arms. Yuuri began to feel uneasy at the dreaded conversation that would inevitably arrive. He swallowed down a lump of fear in his throat, closing his eyes again to try and sleep. At that moment, Victor grumbled and shifted awake. Yuuri turned in Victor’s arms to bury his face into Victor’s collarbone and tucking his head under his chin. Victor sighed contently, running his hands up and down Yuuri’s back, fingertips tracing shapes and patterns on the small of his back.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I snapped at you. You just wanted to spend time with me, but I was too… self absorbed to even think of you.” Victor took a deep breath, waiting for Yuuri to say something, anything.

“I t-thought you were gonna hit me…” Yuuri’s quiet voice whispered. Victor’s heart hurt. “Y-you’ve never shouted at me before a-and I—” Yuuri felt heavy breaths left his lungs and Victor’s heart snapped. Now he felt even more guilty. He knew about Yuuri’s abusive ex, in fact, he knew more than anyone else. Victor should have known not to raise his voice at Yuuri. Victor should not have raised his voice at Yuuri.

“I never meant to… to open old wounds. You know I would never hurt you intentionally. I never intended to make you feel scared or… or unsafe that’s the last thing I’d ever want.” Victor gritted his teeth, tears threatening to stream down his face. Guilt on top of guilt on top of guilt filled his whole being. “I promise you with all my heart I never wanted to hurt you and I never will hurt you.” Victor felt so horrible. His heart dropped. He’d hurt the love of his life and that to him was unforgivable. He gritted his teeth, desperately holding back tears.

“But you did! That’s exactly how I felt!” Yuuri exclaimed. “I r-really thought you were going to hit me…” Yuuri sat up, pulling his knees up to cry. “You are the last person I would ever expect to make me feel that way.” Victor sat up next to Yuuri and tugged him into his side.

“I’m sorry. I should have been more sensitive towards you. I should have thought more about you and your needs, and thought more about how I treated you.” Victor took a deep breath, kissing Yuuri’s greasy hair. “I’ll never raise my voice at you ever again.” Victor vowed, kissing a crying Yuuri on the temple.

“What do I have to do to be better for you, Yuuri?” Victor asked anxiously, scared to get a response of “nothing”.

“I just want you to care. I don’t want much from you Victor I really don’t. I just want to know that you love me.” Yuuri mumbled.

“I love you. I love you so much. I’m afraid of driving you away, of scaring you away, of forcing you away. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone before. I love you more than I ever loved my own family, more than my friends and rink mates out together. Heck, I’d put you on the same pedestal as Makkachin.” Yuuri laughed a little at that.

“Well, she is cute, isn’t she?” Yuuri smiled softly, wiping his tears.

“She is. And she misses you.” Victor said, running his fingertips through Yuuri’s hair. “So if you’d like… you know, the bed at home is cold and all, and I don’t think Lilia would be very happy b-but I understand if you need more tim—“ Yuuri leaned in to kiss his lips, silencing Victor.

“I miss our little pupper too.”

Chapter Text

It was admittedly a little strange, waking up in Victor’s arms for the first time in what felt like months. It took Yuuri a few days to be able to cling to Victor during the night, but with a little bit of self encouragement, Yuuri let himself fall into Victor’s arms. The warmth against his back was so welcoming, yet so different, and the arms around his waist were loving, but unfamiliar. Yuuri sighed a breath of relief and smiled, turning himself in Victor’s arms. Victor’s eyes fluttered open, and his cerulean eyes stared back into Yuuri’s

“Morning, my love.” Victor murmured tiredly as he gently brushed his nose against Yuuri’s. Yuuri brought his arms around Victor’s waist, indulging in the warm feeling of Victor in his arms. It felt somewhat different compared to the first time they’d shared a bed. Victor’s arms felt secure and safe, like they could protect Yuuri from anything and everything.

“Morning, Vitya.” Yuuri sighed tiredly, closing his eyes again as he turned Victor onto his back, lying on top of his chest. Yuuri’s fingertips took their time to familiarise himself with the dents and curves of Victor’s muscles, from his pectorals to his abdominals, and everything in between. The muscle was hard against his own chest, emitting a comforting heat.

“We need to get up, you have a dress rehearsal today, and I have to get to practice too.” Victor chuckled, ruffling Yuuri’s hair and running one hand up the back of his shirt, fingertips feeling the little bumps of his spine.

“Mmh. Later… I’m not ready to face two whole dress rehearsals and a class…” Yuuri pouted, grumbling under his breath. It was domestic – to Yuuri, it was much like when they first began dating. Victor would visit him in Japan, and he would spend mornings coaxing Yuuri out of bed. Yuuri couldn’t help but smile.

“Well,” Victor drew out with a soft smirk. “I will be finishing at four today, so I can pick you up from rehearsals, if that makes getting out of bed seem anymore appealing?” Victor asked, his fingertips tangling with soft locks of Yuuri’s hair, twirling them around and between his fingers. “I don’t need to help Yakov coach during the peak season soooooo…” Victor grinned, brushing hair behind Yuuri’s ear. “After your dress rehearsal, we can go out for a nice dinner, spend the night in a hotel, catch up on lots of missed… sex…” Victor smirked, watching as Yuuri screeched in alarm, face turning cherry red.

“V-Vitya!” Yuuri pouted with a squeak.

“Well? Doesn’t it seem appealing? We both have Sundays off anyway, so it’s not really a problem, is it?” Victor said with the most knowing and teasing grin.

“I have most certainly missed the feeling of you in me.” Yuuri sighed contently, and at that moment, Makkachin pounced on top of the bed, tucking herself next to Victor and Yuuri.

“Morning, baby girl.” Yuuri chuckled, giving her ears a scratch before allowing her to lick his hand. Makkachin boofed, lifting up her paw for Yuuri to grab hold of. “I take it you need feeding and a quick walk?” Yuuri chuckled and Makkachin boofed again.

“I take it that’s really our cue to get out of bed.” Victor chuckled with a sigh, slapping Yuuri’s ass playfully to encourage him to get up. “Come on, out of bed, you.” Victor chuckled, as a still-half asleep Yuuri groaned, climbing off of him. “Let’s get ready. We’ll feed you in a little moment Makka!” Victor said as he got out of bed, following Yuuri to the bathroom.

After a few playful kisses and teases Victor and Yuuri finally got themselves dressed and ready. Yuuri made it downstairs first. He filled Makkachin’s food bowl and then moved to the coffee machine, preparing two mugs. He hit a button on the machine, then scrambled to the countertop to prepare breakfast for two. When Victor came downstairs, Yuuri was juggling coffee and a pan of porridge oats. He smiled.

“I’ll take over here, you can finish up on the coffee.” Victor said, plucking the wooden spoon from Yuuri’s hand.

“No it’s okay I got it—“ Victor glared at Yuuri with a soft pout. “Okay.” Yuuri sighed a relax breath. “Thank you, Vitya.” The dynamic was much more positive. It was quite unfamiliar to Yuuri – for what had felt like the longest time Yuuri used to juggle breakfast himself, so it’d be ready by the time Victor came downstairs. So it was nice to have Victor around.

Victor watched as Makkachin waffled her breakfast down, laughing as he finished up at the stove and made his way to the dining room table to join Yuuri for breakfast. “So I’ll pick you up from the dance studio when you’re finished, and we’ll go fo dinner, and have the night to ourselves.” Victor said suggestively and Yuuri’s face turned crimson with embarrassment.

“Y-yeah, that sounds nice.” Yuuri sighed contently through his blush.
———————————————————————
It took Victor a few days after they returned home to be able to encourage himself to pull Yuuri into his arms at night, but he went for it, pulling Yuuri close. And much to Victor’s surprise, Yuuri seemed to have the same idea. The air felt clean when Victor awoke. It was like they were two new people. For weeks Yuuri and Victor had woken up at the same time, barely exchanging any kind of morning greeting as they separately got themselves ready. But the feeling of Yuuri’s body against his was something Victor realised he had very deeply missed. The soft touch of Yuuri’s hair against his chin and the soft feel of his hands on Yuuri’s back was incredibly relaxing.

On this fine morning they exchanged good mornings, they exchanged kisses, as well as plans for the day. It felt blissful, finally knowing what it actually was that Yuuri got up to at the studio.

On the plane home Yuuri was incredibly quiet, Victor remembered, and it seemed to Victor like Yuuri was still missing something. Apologies had been made, and forgiveness had been found, but Yuuri had this glint in his eyes when he thought too hard, and it was normally something Victor could read straight away. Yuuri was a little bit like an open book when you knew him well, his thoughts written on his forehead, so Victor thought about what it was Yuuri loved about their relationship.
Of course! A date! It had been almost two months since they had last been on a date. Connecting to the aircraft’s internet, Victor went scouring for somewhere to take Yuuri. Let’s see, a Michelin star dinner, a five star hotel, and maybe a little more. And thus, a dinner date was booked.

Presenting Victor’s dinner plans had been a cute encounter with Yuuri’s ever-so adorable blush. Victor had missed that blush far too much. It took Victor a little by surprise that his asking for sex went well. He was preparing to be told that Yuuri didn’t want that yet, but to his delight Yuuri had missed Victor just as much.

Normally by the time Victor came downstairs breakfast was on the table and Yuuri was sat with Makkachin on his phone. But today, Yuuri was juggling tasks. Victor frowned as he watched Yuuri scramble around the kitchen – he didn’t realise that Yuuri had so many tasks on the go each morning just for breakfast. When he entered, the first thing he did was greet Yuuri and take over, as any good partner should. And it felt nice to help Yuuri out, even with something as simple as the task of breakfast.

Yeah. This is what happiness feels like.
———————————————————————
Yuuri put his costume on for the first time and instantly fell in love with it. It was much different to The Swan, even though it had the same sort of feel it had a whole different silhouette than the costume for Odette. This costume was a powdery pink dress that for tight at the body and flowed loosely into a skirt. It had short sleeves with a bit of a poof, and buttons down the front. Admittedly, it was a little old fashioned but it was much more comfortable than any other ballet costume he’d ever worn. He supposed the out-datedness of the costume was relatively accurate to the time period, but still, he hoped it would be at least slightly flattering.

Yuuri put the costume on, slipping it over his head before doing up the buttons. He dusted his hands over the skirt portion and stared at himself in the mirror. Yeah, the shape of this dress really wasn’t up his street. Regardless, he sat down and slipped his sore feet into a new pair of pointe shoes. Standing, he stared himself down in the mirror again with a sigh before smiling to himself. Lifting one leg into a split, he snapped a picture.

To: Vitya <3
[New Image]
I must say, this dress isn’t particularly flattering on me :(

A reply came faster than lightening could strike.

From: Vitya <3
You look beautiful, my love you really do ♡ even if the dress isn’t flattering, it doesn’t make you any less beautiful. Love you sweetheart <3

Yuuri couldn’t stop smiling.

To: Vitya <3
You’re too sweet – I love you too. See you later <3

From: Vitya <3
See you later ♡

Victor’s texts put a smile on Yuuri’s face, pinking his cheeks as he slipped his phone into the pocket of his bag. Standing up, he made his way backstage to prepare himself for the dress rehearsal.

Yuuri already couldn’t wait for the second dress rehearsal to be done and he was only just getting ready for the first one. This morning comprised of teaching his regular class for the last time until after the show.

Alina had been sad that she wouldn’t see him again until after the ballet. She looked very disheartened, and to be honest, Yuuri would miss this class too. They had been at the school almost as long as Yuuri had, and it was just a little bit bittersweet that he wouldn’t teach them for a while. It had been a great few months with his little class. He’d learnt so much about each kid little by little, especially about Alina. She seemed to have grown attached to him, but who could blame her? Yuuri was just so approachable and patient.

It would be a hard month ahead with rehearsal after rehearsal after rehearsal, and as much as Yuuri loved to perform, he couldn’t wait for it to be over. His legs and feet were full of pain after a rehearsal, especially his toes and his thighs. One would have thought he’d be used to it after so many rehearsals and so many years of dance practice, but alas, a new injury of some kind always manages to make its way to Yuuri. He couldn’t wait to see Victor tonight for dinner and… he blushed hard. It had been ages since he’d felt Victor’s hands intimately against his body and the more he thought about it the more he craved the contact. Shaking his head from his thoughts, he stared at the mirror ahead of him and pulled out his makeup bag.
———————————————————————
Victor was incredibly, incredibly, incredibly glad not to be coaching anymore. He had time to himself just to focus on his programs and focus on his upcoming competitions. Victor pulled his costume out of its bag. This one was for his free program, which was of course, dedicated to his one and only.

The bodysuit had a series of turquoise gradients, going from white, to teal, to slightly green, and finally to navy blue. The sleeves were white, and the costume adorned many bright Swarovski crystals, complimentary to the gradient dye. The fabric had been sewn in such a way that the costume ripples across the whole body, almost like the waves of the ocean. The pants portion was made of a velvet fabric, the crystals falling down the hips and gradually fading away. Victor stared at it intently, admiring the way each crystal glimmered in the sunlight coming through the windows. Of course he’d seen the costume in construction, but it was much different being able to touch and hold the completed garment.

Victor pulled the costume on and zipped it up at the back. It fit perfectly to all of his contours, hugging his body tightly whilst maintaining an extraordinary ability to move. Lifting one leg into a straight split, he took a picture in the mirror.

To: Yuuri <3
[New Image]
Looks like we both got new costumes today! This one’s dedicated to my darling of course. Love you beautiful ♡

From: Yuuri <3
Wow it’s beautiful! Much more flattering than mine :( you look great <3 haha aww, you’re too sweet. I love you too, Vitya♡

To: Yuuri <3
Shhhhhh you look amazing. Beautiful. My gorgeous Yuuri♡

From: Yuuri <3
You make me blush :’) too sweet to me <3

To: Yuuri <3
Of course! ♡

Victor smiled, sliding his phone into the locker before closing it. He headed back in the direction of the rink, costume on and skates back on and covered. He couldn’t wait to get off training and treat Yuuri to a nice weekend.
———————————————————————
After the first act Yuuri took a water break. They were halfway through rehearsal yet to Yuuri’s pleasant surprise, he was not as tired as he’d first anticipated. He looked at the clock. Five hours before he would be done. Yuuri shook his mind away from home time and changed his pointe shoes, unwrapping a new pair. He noticed a new blister on the top of his foot. With a frown, he carefully covered it with a blister plaster before bandaging his toes in blister plasters and bandages.

Yuuri slid the new pointe shoes on his feet, wincing a little at the pain before tying them.
After moving to St. Petersburg Yuuri found himself sustaining many more damages to his feet – a plethora of bruises up his legs, various sizes of blister on his feet, various shapes of cuts on his toes. The wood in the tip of the pointe shoe often dig into his toes, damaging the bones and even breaking them. Yuuri had suffered through many broke toes and damaged bones. He couldn’t wait for the show to be over – it would be a chance for his feet to heal a little.

Yuuri stood back up and moved back stage from the locker rooms and prepared to start the next act.
——————————————————————
Finally it was four o’clock. Victor never raced off the ice so fast.

“Vitya what are you—“ But Victor ignored the booming voice in favour of slipping the guards on his skates.

“I have a boyfriend to see! See you on Monday!” Victor called back with a heart shaped infamous grin that made Yakov’s blood boil as he raced to the locker room. Victor got changed in record time and left for the dance studio.

To: Yuuri <3
I’m outside! See you soon :)

Chapter Text

At the end of the rehearsal Yuuri was knackered. His legs ache and his toes burned and he just couldn’t wait to strip and shower. After the last act he immediately removed his pointe shoes and moved from the theatre straight to the locker rooms bare footed. Yuuri closed the door and sat down, sighing heaving as he unbuttoned the very much unflattering dress. He stepped out of it and released the biggest sigh of relief as he zipped it back into the dress bag.

Yuuri opened his locker to pull out his clothes and belongings. Just then, a message popped up.

From: Vitya <3
I’m outside! See you soon :)

Yuuri chuckled.

To: Vitya <3
Just getting changed now. See you soon ^^

Yuuri stripped. He couldn’t wait to hop in the shower when he got home, heck, maybe it was a bath tub kind of day. Their dinner reservation wasn’t until seven, after all, so he had time. He changed into a pair of jogging bottoms and a loose top before grabbing his things. On painful feet, he came out to meet Victor.

“Hey beautiful.” Victor smiled, tugging Yuuri in by the hips to give him a big kiss on the forehead. “How were rehearsals?” Victor asked as he grabbed Yuuri’s hand.

“Hey. They were painful. My feet are killing and I desperately need a shower before we go to dinner.” Yuuri chuckled, lacing their fingers together as they began the walk home.

“My poor Yuuri. Am I welcome in said shower?” Victor asked teasingly.

“Mmh… save it for later.” Yuuri smirked.

“Yuuuuuuuuri!!” Victor whined. “You can’t say things like that!” He whined once more and Yuuri laughed, kissing his cheek.
———————————————————————
As soon as they got home Yuuri made a dash for the shower.

“I’ll leave your clothes on the bed, my love.” Victor called from the bedroom to the ensuite as he stripped out of his training gear.

“Thank you!” Yuuri called from the other side of the bathroom door as the shower turned on. Victor smiled, pulling out their matching suits from the wardrobe, setting Yuuri’s on foot of the bed. Victor slid a black shirt on, buttoning all the buttons before attaching cufflinks, one silver V and another silver N.

He finished changing and quickly brushed and gelled his hair before heading out.
“I’ll see you downstairs my love.” Victor hard a hum of approval before going down the stairs.

“Vitya?” Yuuri called from the middle of the stairs. Victor turned around, stood at the bottom of the stairs and he smiled, holding his hand out.

“Gorgeous.” Victor sighed, kissing Yuuri’s hand as his ring glittered in the artificial room light. Their wrists were adorned with matching Rolex watches, a gift that Victor insisted on after seeing the unique diamond accents and Yuuri’s gleaming face. In Victor’s hand was a Louis Vuitton briefcase, holding a change of clothes for the next day, and a bottle of lubricant.
———————————————————————
“How’s the pigeon?” Victor asked as Yuuri took the first bite. He chewed for a moment before responding.

“Wow. That’s beautiful. Here, have a bite.” Yuuri insisted, cutting off a piece and holding it to Victor’s lips. “Ahh…” Victor took the piece of meat off Yuuri’s fork.

“Mmh. That is nice.”

“How’s the salmon?” Yuuri asked as he took another bite of his pigeon breast.

“It’s good. Flakes nicely, the mash potatoes are really good too. Here, have a bite.” Victor held a forkful of salmon to Yuuri’s pink lips. “Ahh…” yuuri took the salmon from his fork and smiled in delight.

“That’s good.”

“Right?!”
——————————————————————
After dinner they checked into their hotel room, a balcony room that overlooked the St. Petersburg city. The room has huge glass pane windows. There was a large king size bed in the middle of the room, a fridge, and a TV. Down just three or four steps, there was a large vintage sofa with a small coffee table. The bathroom had two sinks and a large shower unit, as well as a bathtub. Yuuri gawped in awe.

“We didn’t need somewhere this fancy just for a night, you know.” Yuuri chuckled, leaning back to kiss Victor. Victor helped Yuuri remove his jacket and tie, hanging them up before proceeding to remove his own.

“I know, but you deserve the best, and unfortunately this hotel was the closest I could get to the best.” Victor chuckled, setting the briefcase on the stool after removing the lube at the foot of the bed. Victor kicked his shoes and socks off and climbed onto the bed.

He gestured for Yuuri to join him. Yuuri kicked his socks and shoes off and climbed into Victor’s lap, straddling his stomach. Victor’s hands moved to Yuuri’s trousers.

“Can I?” Yuuri nodded.

“Yeah.” Victor’s fingers delicately undid the metal clasp, then, tugged the zipper down. He slipped his hands into Yuuri’s trousers, hands on his hips, and he squeezed the soft, toned flesh before his hands lowered to his ass, caressing ever so slightly at the flesh of the cheeks through Yuuri’s right boxers. Victor’s hands came back up to tug the trousers off Yuuri’s slender legs, Yuuri lifting himself slightly to shuck them off.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” Victor breathed, bringing one hand up to Yuuri’s face to cup his cheek. Yuuri chuckled.

“Yeah I know. But I’d look more gorgeous under your mercy, don’t you think?” Yuuri smirked, watching Victor implode. Victor let out a low, sultry groan as his forehead fell forwards and hit Yuuri’s shoulder.

“God… baby you can’t say things like that… it make me want to do things to you…” Victor whimpered and Yuuri chuckled again.

“Go ahead. No one’s stopping you.” Victor’s breath hitched again, his erection now very, very prominent and very, very painful. Victor’s hand came up to cup Yuuri’s prominent bulge, watching his beautiful face as he gasped, bringing his hands up to cover his mouth.

“Let me hear you, Yuuri…” Victor tugged Yuuri’s hand away as he continued to massage his bulge. Yuuri quickly batted Victor’s hand away and his own hands flew down to Victor’s tented trousers. Ignoring the bulge, Yuuri’s hands fumbled with the clasp on Victor’s trousers. Victor kicked them off, eager to feel Yuuri against him. He tugged him down, clothed chests pressed together.

“Mmmh…” Victor groaned as Yuuri ground his erection against Victor’s. Victor’s hands tugged at Yuuri’s boxer briefs, pulling them down his thighs and off. “Your ass is amazing, have I ever told you?” Victor said under his breath as his hands roamed around the soft, toned globes.

“Mmh. Wouldn’t it be even more amazing if I had a surprise in there for you?” Yuuri smirked, licking the shell of Victor’s ear as he ground down harder on Victor’s erection.

“Y-Yuuri?” Victor’s breath hitched in question as his hands roamed towards what he knew was the beautiful, pink and puckered entrance. Victor was surprised indeed. There, he felt the rigid shape of a diamanté, nestled between Yuuri’s cheeks. “Oh my god… you’re a goddess.” Victor groaned, running his finger around the slightly curled skin that hugged the butt plug tight. “Oh god… that’s so… where did you even get this?” His finger felt the end of the plug, feeling the thickness of the little stalk that connected to the large gem. “Oh my god Yuuri…” If Victor’s mind hadn’t exploded before, it was gone now.

“I bought it a few months back, isn’t now the perfect time to use it?” Yuuri’s confident rambles were cut by a hitch of his breath as Victor gave the butt plugged a soft tug. “I-It’s big too, it fills me nicely. I must admit, it took me a while to get used to.” Yuuri took deep breaths as Victor pulled and pushed and teased at the butt plug.

“Ahh! Ohh…!” Yuuri yelped at a particularly hard push, forcing the tip of the plug against his sweet spot, sending electricity up his spine.

“That feel good?” Victor asked as he fucked Yuuri with the plug, smirking at the resistance from Yuuri’s reflexive clenches as he pushed the plug in.

“Y-yeah… oh god…” Yuuri moaned loudly, his arms coming around Victor’s neck as he continued to grind against Victor. “V-Vitya… need you…” With a smirk, Victor tugged Yuuri up and flipped them over, Yuuri pinned beneath him before turning Yuuri onto his stomach.

Victor tugged the buttplug free with a noisy, wet pop, watching as the glistening entrance squeezed, begging for something to fill it. Victor couldn’t help it. Immediately, he dove in, his tongue attacking the velvety soft entrance. The tip of his tongue stiffened, tugging and pulling at Yuuri’s rim.

“Ahhhhh! Oh! V-Vitya! Ahh! Ahh!” Yuuri wailed, his fingers gripping the pillow hard as he panted, indulging in the feeling of Victor’s tongue in his ass. Victor moaned into his ass, his lips wrapping around and sucking hard. “Oh god!” Yuuri shouted, hips jerking as he came across the blankets.

Victor, however, ignored his climax in favour of parting those beautiful cheeks. Victor worked his thumb into the beautifully wet hole, pressing in ever so gently to tug the hole open.
“V-vit— ahhhhh…” Yuuri whimpered as Victor sat up, a trail of spit falling from his lips and landing perfectly in Yuuri’s hole. Victor chuckled.

“Had enough?” Yuuri nodded eagerly.

“M-more… please… need you in me…” Yuuri whimpered, staring back at Victor with big, beautiful eyes hidden behind blue frames. “Vitya…” Victor squeezed a generous amount of lube into his hands and gently coated his throbbing erection. With firm hands on Yuuri’s hips, he lined the tip up, watching as Yuuri’s hole tried to swallow him.

“Ahh… ah, ah, ah, ahhhhh…” Yuuri let out little staccato moans as Victor pushed in, inching himself in a little at a time until he was all the way in.

“Deep breaths, my love. Take a deep breath. You feel amazing.” Yuuri whimpered, hissing a little as he felt Victor enter him. Once Victor was pressed to his back, two strong arms came around his waist and tugged him up.

“Ah!” Yuuri yelped in surprise, teaching his arm back to loop around his neck, his face turned towards Victor’s cheek. Victor kissed Yuuri deep as they began to rock together, Victor rolling his hips with Yuuri’s. “V-Vitya… ahh…” Yuuri couldn’t help the little moans tumbling from his lips as they parted, his lips now plump and a kiss-bitten red colour.

“You’re stunning, Yuuri. So amazing. I can’t believe you’re all mine.” Victor purred in Yuuri’s ear as they continued to roll their hips together, Yuuri moaning lewdly at the feeling of Victor’s tip against his prostate.

Yuuri’s head was hazy, moans and whimpers tumbled from his plump lips as he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip. Victor’s hands caressed his hips, one hand moving to gently circle Yuuri’s stretched rim with one finger.

“Vitya… I… not gonna… last…” Yuuri panted between breaths as Victor’s assault on his prostate continued. It felt like his orgasm was going to be forced out of him, the tension in his lower belly rising as Victor’s tip massages his sweet spot. “Ahh… Ahhh…” Victor peppered butterfly kisses down Yuuri’s jaw, whispering words of encouragement.

“Are you gonna come, Yuuri? Just from riding me? Yeah?” Victor was close to the edge himself, his throat closing up as he tried to stave off his own orgasm. Yuuri was almost crying from the pleasure, trying to force himself to not come, but it was almost too intense.

“I love you, my Yuuri.” And Yuuri was gone, kicked over the edge.

“Ahhhhhhhhhh! Oh! Vitya! Ahhh!” Yuuri cries and wailed and screamed as the thread snapped, semen spurting from his flushed tip and painting his stomach in a matte white.

Yuuri’s ass twitched and clenched, massaging Victor’s already very sensitive length, causing him to hit his sweet spot twice as hard.
“Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Vi-Vitya! T-too much… s-sensitive…” Yuuri whimpered. Victor gritted his teeth, the floodgates bursting as he came, coating Yuuri’s prostate and his velvety soft walls in come.
“Ohhhhhhhh!” Yuuri moaned again before Victor collapsed backwards, taking Yuuri with him.

“Your mouth…” Victor panted, “is amazing… how do you feel?” Victor asked, running his fingers through a tired Yuuri’s hair as they remained connected.

“F-full… full… but good…” Yuuri tiredly yawned, closing his eyes as he nestled his head under Victor’s chin, Victor’s arms around him as they just missed the drying patch of semen.

“I love you too, Vitya.” Yuuri mumbled tiredly, allowing himself to be peppered in butterfly kisses.

Chapter Text

“Madame,” Yuuri caught Lilia’s attention one night after practice.

“Yes?” Her stern voice responded.

“Victor has his first competition of the season soon and I’ve never been able to go before and I was wondering if I could go and support him?” Yuuri was pretty certain he already knew the answer, but he had nothing to lose.

“Absolutely not.” And there it was, the much anticipated answer. “Especially not so close to the opening night, I forbid it.” Lilia was quite to bite back a reply, and to be honest, Yuuri was not surprised. She was right – the first show was fast approaching.

“Yes, Madame.” Yuuri sighed in inevitable defeat.
———————————————————————
“Are you sure you can’t come?” Victor pouted, holding Yuuri tightly in his arms. He had a suitcase next to him and a bag over his shoulder. Yuuri was warm in his arms, his breath brushing just over Victor’s slightly exposed collarbone. Yuuri closed his eyes with a soft sigh, his arms tangling around Victor’s waist.

“I’m sorry. Madame forbade me from coming. It’s the opening night in under two weeks and I guess she’s right – I can’t really afford to miss any rehearsals. I’m sorry.” Yuuri mumbled into Victor’s shoulder, his hands running up and down Victor’s back. Victor pulled back a little to kiss his lips.

“You’ll come and see me at the Grand Prix final though, right?” Victor asked, pecking Yuuri’s button nose, smiling as Yuuri chuckled, his cheeks pinking.

“You have to qualify for it first.” Yuuri teased, flicking Victor’s nose with the tip of his finger.

“Mean Yuuri!” Victor whined, pouting again as Yuuri laughed.

“Get me that gold medal.” Yuuri smiled, tugging Victor down for another long, passionate kiss. “Mmh…” Yuuri moaned quietly before pulling away for one more quick kiss. “I love you.”

Victor tapped his forehead against Yuuri’s.
“I love you too. I’ll be back in five days time. Text me whenever you want and I’ll try my best to reply. If you can’t watch me skate, that’s fine. I know Lilia is strict about rehearsals.” Victor sighed, brushing Yuuri’s hair out of his face and up.

“I’ll try and watch you if I’m not busy. I’ll pick you up from the airport too.” Yuuri promised as Victor knelt down to pet Makkachin.

“Be good for Yuuri, Makka! I’ll be home soon. Take care of our Yuuri.” Makkachin boofed, panting as Victor ruffled just behind her ears, touching them softly. She leaned up, licking his face and Yuuri laughed as Victor spluttered before tugging her into a big hug.

Victor stood up.

“I’ll be going then. Stay safe.” Victor brushed his hand against Yuuri’s cheek before opening the door.

“You too, have a safe flight.” Yuuri closed the door as he watched Victor get into the elevator, waving back at him.

“Just you and me, baby girl.” Yuuri chuckled, settling into the sofa and coaxing Makkachin into his lap.

Yuuri took a picture of him and Makkachin curled up together. Makkachin was licking Yuuri’s cheek, Yuuri pulling the most precious smile as he took time photo.

To: Vitya <3
[New Image]
Love you♡
———————————————————————
From: Yuuri <3
[New Image]
Love you♡

Victor’s heart squeezed at the picture. He missed them both so much – he couldn’t wait for the next few days to be over. Was it too late to withdraw? Yakov would probably snap his neck or something. With a sigh, Victor climbed into a taxi and headed for the rink.

To: Yuuri <3
You’re both so cute ;A; I love you too <3

The drive from the rink to the airport was, honestly, a really huge daze. Victor just stared out of the window, and back at his phone, and back out of the window again. He looked at the time – eleven o’clock. Yuuri would have just arrived at the dance studio. Victor pouted, unable to hide his rather irritable mood.

“What’s wrong with you old man?” Yuri growled, hitting Victor over the head with the back of his hand.

“Nothing.” He muttered as they got off the coach, grabbing their things.

Victor was constantly checking his phone, staring at the adorable picture on his lock screen of his beautiful boyfriend and beautiful pupper. He knew for sure that if yesterday’s schedule was anything to go by, Yuuri wouldn’t have time to phone him until at least three o’clock, in which Victor would already be flying. Miserable and ratty, Victor brought his feet to the check in desk and checked in.
———————————————————————
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Yuuri thought to himself as he absorbed himself into Act One; Scene Eight – A Pine Forest in Winter. Of course, his thoughts were referring to no other than Victor. Yuuri missed him already. Even though they were normally apart at this time of day just knowing he wasn’t going to be home when he got home was sad. Just knowing he wouldn’t feel Victor’s chest against his back at night was sad.

Yuuri was so distracted that is success rate of landing a grand jeté was… not particularly high today.

“Yuuri!” Lilia’s voice tore across the silence in the theatre. Yuuri’s head turned sharply towards her. “Focus! Whatever is on your mind forget about it! He will be fine!” Lilia was like a mind reader, and Yuuri turned bright red, the rest of his team mates staring and waiting for Yuuri to take his position again.

“Y-yes Madame!” Yuuri repositioned himself at the centre of the stage and they went again, following the orchestra.

By the time it was lunch Yuuri’s legs were burning. He removed his pointe shoes, tossing them away before heading to the changing rooms to treat the new wounds on his feet. Sighing, he rubbed his feet, soaking them in warm water. He picked up his phone.

To: Vitya <3
You free for a chat? <3

Almost immediately, Yuuri’s phone rang. He picked up, turning the camera on and Victor’s disheveled platinum hair and tired eyes came into view.

“Hey beautiful.” Victor smiled, his face relaxing as Yuuri’s gorgeous features filled the screen.

“Hi. Waiting for your flight?” Yuuri’s voice was angelic, it could send Victor to sleep in minutes with how tired he was.

“Yeah. Got about forty five minutes till we board.” Victor replied. “Are you on lunch? How’s rehearsal?”

“Tiring.” Yuuri let out a heavy sigh, wincing a little at the sting in his feet. “My legs are on fire and my feet are very battered… luckily I have a longer break to let my legs rest and soak before I go again.” Yuuri ran his hand up and down his sore leg, an ice pack in hand to relax his muscles.

“Oh, my poor baby. I’ll treat you to a massage when I get home, how does that sound?” Victor suggested, pulling out his iPad to look for a spa hotel. “My treat to you for all your hard work.” Yuuri chuckled, the beautiful sound filling Victor’s ears.

“You’re the best. I’d love that.” Yuuri sighed quietly. “I think my legs are about to fall off, I can’t wait for the show to be over.” Yuuri grumbled, sweeping his hair back out of his face.

“Aww. Well I’ve just booked us a spa and massage date to relax those poor legs of yours when I get home, so you have that to look forward to.” Victor slid his iPad back into his bag before looking up again. “Other than tired, how are you?” Victor asked.

“Urgh I don’t know what’s wrong with me today, but I couldn’t land a grand jeté to save my life. I guess I was just distracted.” Yuuri sighed heavily. “After you left I took Makkachin for a quick walk, we sat on the sofa and just moped around for a bit before I had to leave.” Yuuri chuckled as he remembered Makkachin lying on top of him, refusing to move.

“Aww, well, I’ll be home soon, it’s only five days. I’ll get that gold medal for you.” Victor reassured him with a bright smile that warmed Yuuri’s heart.

“I know. Just come home safe. As long as you come back safe it’s fine.” Yuuri sighed contently.

“You haven’t changed out of your costume yet.” Victor observed as he caught a glimpse of the dusty pink collar and the puffy sleeve cap on the screen.

“Oh, no I haven’t, I wanted to phone you before you board. When you board I’ll be changing into the other one so this one can be washed.” Yuuri explained. “We normally change costumes after each show and this one will get washed. Some people change during the interval too, if they require a different costume or there’s a costume malfunction, those happen. Madame actually provided me with two of these dresses, so that I get a fresh one for each show.”

“Do you get to keep them after the show?” Victor asked, he knew Yuuri had kept a couple of costumes from previous ballet shows, but this was Bolshoi.

“Yes, we do. They’re custom made to fit, so only I fit in this anyway. So I have another addition to my costume closet.” Yuuri smiled contently, and even though the costume was not particularly flattening, it was a very important memoir of his first professionally choreographed show.

“Anyway, how long’s your flight?”

“A very very long and tiring seven hours. I’m just glad it’s direct and there’s no stop overs. I’ll be eight or nine hours behind you though!” Victor sighed, almost whining as Yuuri chuckled.

“Well, you know you can text when we you want and I’ll text back as soon as I can.” Yuuri reassured. “I wish I could touch your hair at night.” Yuuri sighed sadly – he could already feel the soft locks between his fingertips.

This reminded Yuuri very much of when they first started dating; they would have late night phone calls, they would miss each other and kiss each other through the screen. The phrase “I wish” came up a lot – “I wish I could hug you at night”, “I wish I could kiss you”, “I wish I could feel you”. And there was a lot of that right now.

Yuuri reminisced in the memories of how hard their relationship had been when they first started dating, and also how far they’d come, their ups and downs included. The line was blissfully silent, bar some background noise, for a few minutes.

“What are you thinking about?” Victor asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

“You. Always you.” Yuuri replied with a delightful laugh, the kind that Victor could listen to all day. “But I have to go now, need to prepare for the next rehearsal.” Yuuri sighed sadly.

“Alright, I’ll let you go. I’ll be home soon, my love.” Victor smiled sweetly before preparing to hang up.

“I can’t wait to see you. Have a safe flight, and just return home safe.” Yuuri wished.

“I love you, darling. Kisses.”

“I love you too, kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.”

Yuuri cut the call and released an exasperated sigh. He missed Victor so much already.
———————————————————————
Yuuri hadn’t had the chance to talk to Victor all day. When he woke up, he sent him a good morning text, even though Victor was definitely still asleep, and would be for at least the next seven hours or so.

To: Vitya <3
Good morning ♡ we’re missing you here :( Good luck on your short, I’ll be watching the replay <3

He knew the next few days were going to be the longest days of his life. Sighing, he climbed out of the cold bed and greeted Makkachin, who seemed to be feeling just as lonely.

Yuuri had slept on Victor’s side of the bed that night, burying his face into Victor’s pillow and inhaling his scent and hugging the pillow close to his body. He stared at the framed picture of him and Victor that Victor kept on his bedside cabinet and picked it up, smiling to himself. Then, he remembered about the scrapbook he gifted Victor on their anniversary. Opening the drawer, he pulled the book out.

Victor had added to it more recently, but Yuuri had yet to have the chance to see it, until now.

One of the pictures that stood out was a picture of Victor’s hand holding a snow globe, the same one that Yuuri had noticed mysteriously appeared on their mantelpiece along with their other cheesy touristy gifts. He read the caption;

“August 21st, 2017 – Beijing, China
Chasing Yuuri to Japan and I picked this up at the airport. I’ll be there soon, my love ♡“

Yuuri‘s heart squeezed. That was the day after Yuuri arrived in Japan after their huge falling out. It took Yuuri some time to realise that maybe running half way across the world was not the solution to fixing their relationship problems, but it was a learning curve. He smiled, thinking about how far they had come. Yuuri’s eyes continued to scan the pages.

The next image was a picture of Yuuri laying blissfully in a bathtub full of bubbles and rose petals – when had Victor taken that? Yuuri smiled; at least it was a flattering picture.

“August 30th 2017 – My treat to Yuuri <3”

Eventually, Yuuri had to actually get ready to leave. With a sigh, he slid the scrapbook back into the first drawer and slid it shut.
———————————————————————
Victor woke up on the morning of his short program feeling less than… satisfactory. He missed the feeling of Yuuri’s warmth against his chest, and the feel of their tangled legs. Sighing, he got up from the empty hotel bed.

Victor unplugged his phone and swiped it open to read the text from Yuuri. It brought a smile to his face.

From: Yuuri <3
Good morning ♡ we’re missing you here :( Good luck on your short, I’ll be watching the replay <3

To: Yuuri <3
Good morning beautiful ♡ I miss you too… Hope you had a great day <3 Thank you darling, I’ll bring you home a gold medal!

He already couldn’t wait to get home to Yuuri. Climbing out of bed, Victor got himself ready and brushed his teeth, preparing to meet the rest of the national team to head to the arena.

When Victor arrived at the arena’s locker room he pulled his costume out of the bag, once more, admiring the beautiful gradient tones of aqua and blue all reminding him of the many faces of Yuuri. Victor stepped into the costume and pulled it up, zipping it up at the back.

To: Yuuri <3
About to skate my short. I hope you’ve had a great day, beautiful ♡

Victor knew Yuuri would likely be in bed – it was currently three p.m and their schedules just clashed. When Victor awoke Yuuri was in rehearsals, when Yuuri had rehearsals Victor had been stopped by the media during warmups. When Victor was getting changed Yuuri was back in rehearsals, and now that Victor was just about to skate Yuuri was likely in bed already. He sighed, his mood low, to put it bluntly.

Victor stepped out on the ice and flashed that fake, camera smile as he skated laps around the rink before taking his position on the ice. The arena fell silent as Victor waited for the music to start.

Soft piano keys filled the air as Victor began to move, the sound of his blades scratching along the ice resonated in the arena, perfectly accompanied by the soundtrack. Victor prepared his body for the first jump; a triple toe. He dug his toe pick into the ice and launched himself into the air, spinning a perfect three counter clockwise rotations before allowing the edge of his left blade to hit the ice.

Victor’s thoughts drifted to Yuuri. His perfect, beautiful boyfriend. Victor really didn’t deserve him – sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder if Yuuri wanted more from him. Victor really was trying his hardest to make amends after their rift but he wondered if he needed to do more. He wanted to do more – help Yuuri out when he needed it, treat Yuuri to nice things whenever Victor wanted.

The crowd cheered and roared but Victor drowned it out. He drowned it out in favour of thinking of Yuuri, who he dedicated this program to. Victor allowed himself to feel the music as he pulled his arms straight and arched his back, parting his legs into an Ina Bauer.

Yuuri had been so considerate and patient with him - In all honesty, Victor was very thankful that Yuuri screamed at him and ran halfway across the country. It made Victor realise just how close he was to losing Yuuri and how much he needed Yuuri. It was a huge eye opener. The experience showed Victor how much of a douche he had been to Yuuri, and how much he had hurt him.

Victor pulled his body into a perfect triple flip quadruple salchow combination, his blade only just hitting the ice, hopefully enough not to get a deduction. Victor brushed off the wobbly landing and continued, dancing with the soft violins and the keys of the piano.

But now Victor was clear. Nothing had ever been clearer to Victor; he needed Yuuri because he loved him. Victor loved Yuuri so much it was painful. His soft smile, his puffy cheeks, his adorable glasses. His shy, yet bubbly personality, his kind and caring heart, his— everything. Yuuri was Victor’s everything.

The rest of the program passed by in a daze and before he knew it, Victor was striking his finishing pose on the ice.

Victor couldn’t wait to come home to Yuuri.

Chapter Text

Yuuri bit his lip nervously as Makkachin laid in his lap, eyes fixated on the TV screen. Victor was about to skate. His heart skipped a beat as Victor came into view on the sidelines, whispering to his coach and fiddling with his costume.

Victor’s free skate outfit was a white and black bodysuit. The white top had a low cut V at the front and an even lower cut V at the back. Black and white feathers flared out from the neckline, right down to the tip of the V shape on both the front and the back, as well as from the sleeve cuffs. Feathers adorned the waistline too, softening the transition from the top to the trouser portion. All down the sleeves and on the feathers were black and silver Swarovski crystals, reflecting light and glittering as Victor took his position on the ice.

Yuuri thought there was something strikingly familiar about this costume, it reminded him of something, or rather, someone. Yuuri’s breath hitched when the music started and that’s exactly when Yuuri knew who Victor reminded him of – himself.

Yuuri brought his mind back to a conversation back when they first started dating;

“Whose role do you play? I love The Swan Lake! I’m just tired at the moment.” Victor said with a soft sigh, leaning back against the headboard of his bed.
“Odette. Her character really intrigued me, and so does her story. I suppose I kind of see myself in her – lonely, and isolated. She keeps to herself a lot, though, not by choice. I thin she’s very like me, with the way she feels, and her past.” Yuuri remembered the conversation pretty clearly, how he explained the importance of Odette’s character to him.

“Yuuri!” Yuuri’s head jerked up in full attention.

“Yes?”

“Wouldn’t it be great if I skated to the same piece you dance to!” Victor suggested with his infamous heart shaped grin.
“What?! But you don’t have long to come up with a choreography!” Yuuri exclaimed, and Yuuri learnt something new. Victor was a spur-of-the-moment kind of guy.
“I’m gonna do that! Maybe for the exhibition though…” Victor thought again.

Yuuri brought his head back to Victor’s skating, staring in awe as Victor landed a triple flip, admiring the way Victor’s form was so slender as he landed on one blade, hitting the ice. Victor was perfect, and Yuuri could not believe this man was his. The way Victor glided enamoured him. Victor was so fluid, he moved like water across the ice, feeling the soft rhythm of the soundtrack and making it his own.

Yuuri never thought Victor would actually follow through and create a program complimentary to Yuuri’s arguably favourite piece. It made him reminisce in the memory of that day when Victor surprised him at his show, and when he confessed his feelings to Victor, albeit through a pretty long winded, roundabout story. This memory was so important to Yuuri. It was important because it was the first step to being able to fall in love again. And now, Yuuri was falling in love with Victor all over again.

Yuuri was almost crying as he watched Victor land a quad flip, Makkachin licking the tears from his face. Yuuri was so absorbed in watching Victor. He paid attention to every detail about his skate – each jump, each spin, each step. Victor’s Ina Bauer was Yuuri’s favourite element. It showed of all the contours of Victor’s torso and arms and legs perfectly. “Yes,” Yuuri thought as the crowd cheered for Victor. “I stole this man from the world.”

To: Vitya <3
God I love you so much ♡

Yuuri uploaded a picture of Victor just after his skate.

@y-katsuki; Almost a year and a half ago Victor made a joking comment about how he should choreograph and skate a performance that was complimentary to my role of Odette in The Swan Lake. I really thought he was joking, he’d never mentioned it again. But little did I know of the surprise Victor had up his sleeve. Odette is a particularly important character to me; I was once like her, and it was so easy to understand her struggles. But then a Victor came along and he pulled me out of this downward spiral I didn’t even know I was in. The truth is… Me and Victor have had more ups and downs than anyone ever has and will see. I felt myself falling back into that “Odette” persona. I was so close to slipping but Victor never let go of me and he pulled me back up again. For Victor to have this piece that he choreographed especially for me is so enchanting. I love this man so so much, he’s so romantic and endearing ♡@v-nikiforov I’m so sorry I couldn’t come with you to your first competition of the season, but reserve me a sideline seat at the GPF <3 I love you so much, I can’t wait for you to come home in two days time.

Needless to say, Yuuri was helplessly in love all over again.
———————————————————————
Victor stepped off the ice as Makkachin after Makkachin after Makkachin flew into the ice, heaving and panting as he sat at the kiss and cry waiting for the results.

Victor drowned out the arena, everything falling silent as his eyes focussed on the large screen, specifically at the bottom right corner.

The scores came up. And in white font backed against a blue banner – “324.40”. Shifting his focus up – “204.60”. He was in first place. Suddenly he pulled his head back into the arena as the crowd screamed and cheered. He could hardly believe the numbers himself. Victor’s face broke out into a huge smile as he threw himself at Yakov, startling the old man.

“I did it! First place!” Victor smiled gleefully as he clung to a grunting Yakov, murmuring something about skipping five days straight of practice and then skiving weekends to go on a spa date and still managing first place. Victor was ecstatic, he couldn’t wait to go home and tell Yuuri. In fact, he wanted to hop on the next plane home to wrap Yuuri in his arms. Victor left the kiss and cry swiftly, immediately shooting a text to Yuuri;

To: Yuuri <3
I’m glad you loved it <3

Then, he saw the post Yuuri had written about him. Each word warmed Victor’s heart a little more, and Victor could have sworn he was almost in tears. How is it even possible for Yuuri to be that precious?

@v-nikiforov; @y-katsuki GOD you make me fall in love 10 times over. I’m so happy you enjoyed it, I wanted this for last season but it seemed more reasonable to choreograph the perfect piece this season. And this piece, my love, is dedicated to you, Yuuri, the love of my life. I’m so grateful for you, you have taught me how to love and be loved, you’ve taught me how to make it through anything, and you’ve held my hand through everything. As Yuuri has said, we have had more ups and downs than anyone has and will ever see. I really thought I could lose him forever. But I refused to give up – I refused to give up on someone who would do anything for me, and I would do anything for. This piece I worked tirelessly on. I did a lot of things wrong, a lot. But in the end, I ended up with the perfect choreography just for you ♡Don’t worry, that sideline seat is yours forever, as am I. I can’t wait to see you in two days time♡ I love you <3

To: Yuuri <3
Are you free to phone, darling?

Immediately, Victor’s phone rang.

“Hey, bab—“

“Vitya!” Yuuri cried. “You were amazing.” He sniffled. “Boof!” Victor heard Makkachin down the phone and the sound of his little family on the other end of the line brought the biggest smile to his face.

“All for you, my love.” Victor said contently. “Hi baby girl! Have you been good for daddy?” Victor cooed at Makkachin, who boofed again down the phone.

“We’ve missed you a lot.” Yuuri sighed softly. “It’s nice hearing your voice. It’s been too quiet these last few days. Makkachin stole your side of the bed.” Yuuri chuckled as Makkachin boofed at the mention of her name.

“Makkachin you meanie!” Victor whined and Yuuri could literally hear his pout from the other end of the line. “Stealing Yuuri from me!” Yuuri laughed out loud at Victor’s dramatic outburst.

“I’m sure she’ll give you your space back, if not you’ll have to sleep at the end of the bed where she normally sleeps.” Yuuri joked, laughing again at Victor’s hurt reaction.

“Yuuri you traitor! Exchanging me for Makkachin! How could you!” Yuuri continued laugh, his side hurting as Victor continued with his melodramatic reaction.

“I’m kidding Vitya, you can kick her off when you get home.” Victor lit up.

“Good! Me and Makkachin are enemies now, hmph.” Victor huffed, causing Yuuri to giggle again. “Anyway, how have rehearsals been?” Victor asked.

“Difficult. My feet are just covered in more and more ugly cuts and bruises and scars and they ache and it’s awful and urgh.” Yuuri sighed heavily, shifting to lie down on the sofa, Makkachin cuddled next to him. Yuuri was laid out in a starfish shape, all the pillows and blankets under him as Makkachin touched herself under his arm, settling down for a nap. “They just look and feel… ugly. I hate it. I love ballet but it just does horrible things to my body.” Yuuri released an exasperated breath as he fiddled with Makkachin’s fur.

“Oh baby…” Victor let out a pitiful sigh. “Let me tell you now that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with your feet. They are a story of your hard work, of everything you’ve done to make it this far. I know you don’t see them like that, but believe me when I tell you.” Victor knew ballet did awful things to Yuuri’s bones and muscles, after all, figure skating did the same to him. So Victor could understand. “I think we might need to adjust your diet to help your bones and cartilage. Just remember, after the show please take it easy. I know dancers don’t have a peak season and an off season like skaters do, so please take it easy on yourself.” Victor suggested.

“Thank you. Honestly I don’t really feel any better about them but I really appreciate it.” Yuuri sighed with a gentle smile. “Yeah. Maybe that’s a good idea. I can’t wait for you to come home.”

“Just a couple more days, my love. I’ll be home soon. But for now, take care of yourself, treat yourself to a bath. I have to go now, Yakov is trying to find his best student to throw at the media.” Victor snorted.

“Alright, I’ll let you go then. Well done again, Vitya. I love you, kisses.”

“Thank you my sweet. I love you too, kisses, mwah.”

“Mwah.” Victor prepares himself to face the cameras again as he slid his phone back into his pocket, heading back to meet Yakov on the other side of the arena. With a heavy sigh, Victor put on his best camera face and prepared himself to answer questions completely unrelated to his gold medal.
———————————————————————
Victor sighed, taking a seat at the press conference table as he adjusted the microphone in front of him, preparing to be bombarded with question after question.

“So? How’s your lover boy?” Chris asked as he sat down next to Victor, propping his elbow on the table with a knowing look. “What happened between you?” Chris asked, catching Victor’s attention.

“How do you—“

“It’s obvious, what he posted and what you replied with. What happened? You didn’t tell me anything.” Chris pointed out, feeling just a little bit offended.

“Nothing. It’s something we’ve moved on from. I don’t really like to talk about it.” Victor sighed.

“S’okay, sorry for asking. You know you can tell me anything, though?” Chris reassured as Victor brushed the topic off, watching the conference room fill.

“Yeah yeah, I know. It’s just something we struggled through and we don’t really like to discuss it.” Victor explained.

“That’s fine. You also didn’t tell me about your proposal though.” Chris had a bit of an inkling about it, but didn’t press any further.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t really been in great contact lately.” Victor sighed. “I’ll try better. That was… it… he wasn’t ready.” Victor said courtly. “It’s y fault I just rushed in too fast but he wasn’t ready so yeah. That’s that…” It was obvious that it was a sensitive topic for Victor, so Chris didn’t ask any further questions.

“Oh. I’m sorry man. But like I said, you can talk to me if you need to. Honestly man, let me know you’re alright every so often.” Chris chuckled lightly, setting his hands on the table as the press conference was about to begin.

“Sorry, I will. I’ll try.” Victor smiled softly before turning his attention to the audience.
———————————————————————
Yuuri’s phone chimed – it was a text from Phichit.

From: Peach
YO how are things between you and Victor now? Forgot to update me!!! >:(

Yuuri screeched – he’d promised to text more often when he was less busy. Frantically, he typed it a reply.

To: Peach
AHH sorry I forgot! I’ll text more often I promise! Yeah, things are great. He’s away in Canada for a competition atm tho… missing him lots :( But yeah, things are good :)

From: Peach
GOOD. You haven’t texted since you told me you were running to Japan lol THAT WAS LAST MONTH! But I’m glad he’s treating you right now.

To: Peach
I KNOW IM SORRY ( ;∀;)
I’ll text more I promise, I shouldn’t be so busy after the show //Thank the Lord I need a break//

From: Peach
GOOD make sure you tell me you’re alive lol ANYWAY I’ve got work so I’ll catch up L A T E R see ya!

To: Peach
I will I will, see you! Say hi to everyone and tell them I miss them <3

From: Peach
SURE THING

With a soft snort, Yuuri put his phone away and gently nudged Makkachin off him. Standing, he made his way to the kitchen.
———————————————————————
“Mr Nikiforov, how does it feel to hold your first gold medal of the season?” A member of the conference asked, and Victor sighed, contemplating the question before giving an answer.

“It feels… great. I mean, it felt good last season too after I had a break but… it feels much different now. This gold medal actually means something this season.” Victor sighed contently as the cameras clicked and flashed in his face.

“Do your programs have any particular meaning this season? In previous seasons you’ve stated that your programs were not that meaningful. Has that changed this year?”

“It has. A lot went on this year, and I have learnt a lot about me, about my partner. So this season I’ve been able to give some meaning to my programs. This year, they’re dedicated to my beautiful boyfriend and my adorable poodle.” Victor chuckled fondly, excited to fly home to his little family. “Especially my free program, which holds a very important place to my boyfriend.”

“Will you be getting married, Mr. Nikiforov? I’m sure a lot of people are curious.” Victor sighed.

“No personal questions, please.” Victor expressed quietly as he averted his eyes to stare at the table.

“Do you intend to retire soon? Many people have suspected that you could be retiring soon.”

“It is true that I am past my peak fitness, but I have not made a definite decision. There are certainly other things in life I would like to achieve after skating, but right now, I am still competing, and most likely will be for the foreseeable future.” Victor explained, but he brought his thoughts to what he would do after skating. Marriage, hopefully at least, adopting a child, opening a skating school?
———————————————————————
When Victor collapsed on his hotel bed, he let out a loud grumble before pulling out his phone.

To: Yuuri <3
How was your day? I can’t wait to come home ( ;∀;) The press conference was so boring… Love you lots, I’ll be home soon <3

From: Yuuri <3
I’ve had a good day! Lilia told me that Alina isn’t really getting on with their new teacher, so I guess I just can’t wait to take my class back again. Lilia said she’s been really quiet again and not really working well with others :( maybe it’ll change soon! I’m hopeful :) awww, well, it’s over now and you can look forward to coming home!! <3
Love you lots too, come home safe!

Victor sighed quietly with a smile as he read the text.

To: Yuuri <3
Aww, poor Alina :( I hope she improves soon! Maybe when you’re back she’ll open up again.
Anyway, I’m going to sleep now, so I’ll text again tmr. Love you, darling ♡

Victor plugged his phone in and headed to the bathroom. He stripped out of his tracksuit, folding it up as he leaned over the sink to brush his teeth. Victor just wanted the next two days to be over so he could go home. God, if he was this irritable about leaving Yuuri for five days, he couldn’t even think to imagine how he would feel about leaving Yuuri more frequently as the season progressed. With a slightly annoyed grumble, he spat out the toothpaste and washed his face.

Victor climbed into the scratchy hotel sheets, grumbling to himself about how they were no where near as soft as his silk dupioni sheets back at home and how the bed was cold and the mattress was too soft. He picked up his phone to read the last message from Yuuri.

From: Yuuri <3
Good night, Vitya <3