No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Her brain could not seem to form other words.
This could not be happening. She was not prepared for this. She didn’t have time for this, not now. Maybe ten years from now, when they’re no longer trying to save the universe from the Galra Empire. But of course, it was happening now.
“Oh, there you are,” she heard Lance’s voice and immediately trying to hide the device, “Hey? What’s that?”
“Nothing,” she said too quickly.
He arched an eyebrow, “What’s going on, Pidge?”
“Nothing!” she said again.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Nothing!” she said then corrected herself, “It’s nothing. Just something I need to figure out.”
His expression softened, “Is there anything I can do to help?”
‘Oh, you’ve done enough. Trust me,’ she thought to herself.
“No, really, it’s fine. It’s just something I need to deal with myself before I share it with you, okay?” she asked.
“Okay,” he said.
“Did you need something?” she wondered.
“Oh, right! I was…uh, just going to tell you that Hunk made cookies,” he said.
That’s not what he had planned to tell her. He had planned to tell her that he loved her. But, just like every time he had tried to do it before, it never seemed like the right time.
He had realized he was in love with her a little over a week ago, when she had fallen asleep with her head on his chest. He played with her hair while she snored lightly. The thought had come so casually, 'I love her,' but it had caught him off guard. He had never been in love before, but he knew that's what it was. He could not imagine life without her and would die for her without hesitation.
“Save me one? I need to go talk to Allura,” she told him, snapping him out of his flashback.
“Okay,” he agreed, wondering if he could convince Hunk to actually make some cookies, “See you later?”
“Definitely,” she replied. That would give her enough time to figure out how to tell him that she was pregnant with his baby.
She breathed a sigh of relief when he left the room.
‘How had this happened?’ she asked herself. They had been using protection.
The worst part was that they hadn’t even told anyone else that they had been dating up for a little over two months now—with the exception of Hunk who had walked in on them—and she wasn't sure she was ready for everyone to find out.
Soon, it would seem, she would have no choice.
Hunk was actually the one who had suggested that the chronic nausea that had plagued her for the past two weeks was pregnancy related, prompting her to construct a high-tech pregnancy test to detect hCG hormones.
She must have run the test ten times. Each time it turned up positive.
It explained a lot, she supposed. Not only the nausea, but also why her bras suddenly didn’t fit right and why her breasts were so sore.
She sighed and left find Allura, who, after all, was the only other girl on this ship. Although, Pidge wasn’t exactly sure how much help Allura would be, considering they had completely different biological processes.
“Allura?” she asked poking her head into the control room, thankfully, the princess was alone.
“Oh hi, Pidge. Lance was looking for you earlier,” she said.
“Yeah, he found me. I was wondering if I could ask you a question,” Pidge replied.
“Of course,” Allura smiled.
“I understand if this is too personal, but I was just wondering, how does reproduction work on Altea?” Pidge asked.
“Oh…Well, it works by combining the lifeforces of two people. It is usually done in a ceremony surrounded by close friends and family,” she explained.
“So probably not the same way it works on Earth then,” Pidge remarked. If it was that would be weird.
“I would think not. How does it work on your planet?” Allura asked.
“Uh…are you sure you want to know?” Pidge asked. Allura had been weirded out by the fact that the cow produced milk, she didn’t know how she would react to the concept of sex and pregnancy.
“Yes,” Allura said.
“Okay…Um so when two humans of opposite genders uh…well they…you know what, just read this,” Pidge said, pulling up information about human conception on her tablet and handing it to Allura.
She watched as Allura’s face went from neutral to disgusted, “You do what?”
Pidge nodded, “I know it probably sounds really gross—it is a little gross when you think about it, but it’s not as bad as it sounds.”
“You’ve done it?” Allura asked, half intrigued, half surprised, “Do you have a child?”
“No!” Pidge said, ‘Not yet,’ she added mentally, “It’s not just done for means of reproduction, usually it’s done for pleasure or to represent a deeper connection in a relationship. It can actually be really romantic.”
Allura looked dubious but kept reading.
“Gestation lasts for almost a deca-phoeb? That seems like an exceptional amount of time. Altean reproduction is completed at the end of the ceremony and it usually only lasts a varga,” Allura explained, “And, am I reading this correctly? Is that really how a human child enters into the world?”
“Most of the time, unless the mother has a c-section, which involves cutting her open and taking out the baby,” Pidge explained, fighting the urge to cringe as she said it. Truth was, labor scared the shit out of her.
“Remind me never to ask about human biological processes again,” Allura said, handing the tablet back to Pidge, “Why the sudden interest anyway?”
“No reason,” Pidge lied looking down, her lips pursed.
“Pidge?” Allura asked, “Is there something you want to tell me?”
Pidge sighed, glancing around hoping they wouldn’t be overheard, and sighed, “…I’m pregnant.”
Allura’s eyes widened, “By who?!”
“Lance,” Pidge muttered, “Don’t say anything to him or anyone, not yet. I haven’t told him yet. I’m still trying to deal with it myself—I just needed to talk to another girl.”
“I didn’t even know you were a couple,” Allura said.
“Yeah, we didn’t really want anyone to know,” Pidge told her, “We’re not even that serious yet—definitely not serious enough to be having a baby. I don’t know how he’s going to take this. It’s not like either of us are really prepared for this.”
Allura nodded but said nothing.
“If…I decided to end the pregnancy, is there a way I could do that?” Pidge asked her.
Allura nodded, “Yes, we’d just calibrate the sleep pods to consider it a parasite. But, are you sure you want to do that?”
“I don’t know,” Pidge said, “I don’t know if I can do this—especially not now. Not while we’re fighting the Galra.”
“It’ll be alright. But perhaps the person you should be talking to is Lance,” Allura suggested.
“Yeah…I know, I’m just…scared, you know?” Pidge said.
“I know,” Allura said, “Whatever it is you decide to do, you have my support. And don’t worry, this will all stay between us.”
“Thanks, Allura,” Pidge replied, “I’d better go find Lance.”
“Good luck,” Allura called.
The first person she found wasn’t Lance, it was Hunk.
“Hey, are you alright? You ran off so quickly earlier,” he asked.
“Yeah, I kind of needed to test something,” she replied.
“Something…relating to what we were talking about?” he asked.
“And?? What were the results?” he demanded.
“Positive,” she said. Hunk sucked in a sharp breath.
“Have you told him yet?” he asked.
Pidge shook her head, “I was going to do that now, have you seen him?”
“Not since he went looking for you, sorry,” Hunk said.
“That’s okay. Do me a favor and keep this between us—I mean, I guess you can talk with Allura since I just told her—but don’t tell anyone else,” Pidge told him.
Hunk nodded, “Okay. I’ll be happy when this is all out in the open and I don’t have to hide it anymore.”
“That makes one of us,” Pidge chuckled, “See you later, Hunk.”
“Bye, Pidge,” Hunk called.
After a thorough search of the ship, she still hadn’t found Lance anywhere, so she returned to her room and yelped in surprise when she saw Lance sitting on her bed.
“You’re awfully jumpy today,” he noted.
“Yeah,” she said, grabbing the high-tech pregnancy test and sitting next to him on the bed. She handed him the device.
“What is this?” he asked.
“It’s a device to detect hCG. I built it to try and figure out why I’ve been so nauseous lately,” she began.
“And did you?” he asked.
“So, this hCG stuff is causing your nausea? Is there a way to make it go away?” he asked.
“…Not really. But the nausea should go away on its own in six to eight weeks,” she said. That would be the end of the first trimester, most sources said that’s when morning sickness tended to dissipate.
“Why so long? What is hCG?” he asked.
“It’s a pregnancy hormone,” she told him, meeting his eyes.
All the color drained from his face and he dropped the device which shattered on the floor, “What?”
“I’m pregnant, Lance,” she told him.
“But…but I used a condom,” he said.
She shrugged, “It’s not always effective.”
“There’s a baby in there?” he asked putting a hand over her stomach, “My baby?”
All she could do was nod. To her surprise, she felt a tear streak down her face and then a sob caught in her throat, “I’m scared, Lance.”
He pulled her into his arms, and rubbed her back, “Hey, it’s going to be okay.”
She snuggled into his chest, tears staining his jacket, “What are we going to do?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, “We’ll figure something out. Whatever you choose to do, I support you.”
“I don’t know what to do. I’ve been going back and forth about this since I found out,” she exclaimed, “I’m not sure I can do this. I’m not even sixteen yet and we’re fighting a war. I’m not usually very good with kids, but…I don’t know, part of me doesn’t want to end the pregnancy either.”
Perhaps it was her Catholic upbringing, but she didn't like the idea of abortion—she felt guilty just thinking about it.
“I have an idea,” Lance said, fishing around in his pocket and pulling out a quarter.
“Lance, I think this is a little more serious than a coin toss,” Pidge remarked.
“Just trust me, okay?” he said, “Heads you keep it, tails you get rid of it, okay?”
She told herself that it didn’t matter what some stupid coin said, that this was still her decision. But she couldn’t stop her eyes from following the coin into the air then into Lance’s open palm, then flipped onto the back of his left hand.
“Tails,” Pidge said when he uncovered the coin. That was certainly the easier—and probably the smarter, more practical/decision. Logically, she knew that was the better decision for both of them, but emotionally, she couldn’t help but feel disappointment, like she had lost something. How could she feel loss over something she never even had?
“So, you’re keeping it,” Lance said.
“What?” Pidge asked.
“I saw the look on your face, you were upset when it turned up tails, right? Now you know how you feel about it and we can make a new plan,” Lance told her.
“Very clever,” she remarked, realizing he was right, “But this isn’t just my decision. This is your baby too. How do you feel about all of this?”
“Honestly? I’m terrified,” he said, “My mom had me at the same age I am now and…I don’t know, I just never thought I’d be doing the same thing.”
“Do you even want to keep it? Because if you don’t…I don’t want to do this on my own,” she said.
Lance was silent for a minute.
“Yes. If you’re keeping it, I’m with you,” he said finally, “My dad left my mom and me when I was little, I’m not going to do the same thing to my kid.”
“That’s not exactly answering the question,” she said, “Do you want it or not?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, “It’s a lot to take in. I support your decision either way, and if you keep it I’m going to help you take care of it. But it’s not like I was expecting to be a father right now.”
“But do you want to be?” she pressed.
“Maybe,” he said, “Listen I…”
‘Love you,’ the words died on his tongue; he couldn’t let the first time he told her he loved her be when they were arguing.
“I just need some time to adjust,” he said finally, “Please don’t make any decisions yet. Just give me a chance to figure out how I feel about it.”
“Okay,” she agreed. She owed him that much, after all, she had spent all morning worrying about how to tell him.
He left the room and she flopped back on her bed, even more torn than before.
Ten coin tosses later, he still didn’t know how he felt about it. Apparently, that trick didn’t work nearly as well when you truly don’t know what you wanted.
“You okay?” Hunk asked when Lance wandered into the kitchen. He was careful not to let anything slip, not sure whether Pidge had told him yet.
“Yeah…I’ve just got something I need to deal with,” Lance said, leaning against the countertop.
“She told you, huh?” Hunk guessed.
“You knew?” Lance asked.
“Yeah. I was the one who suggested she might be pregnant,” Hunk said, “How are you handling this?”
“Not great. I told her I needed more time to think about it,” he said, “She wants to keep it.”
“And you?” Hunk asked.
“I don’t know. I mean…I love her, and it’s not like I haven’t considered marriage and kids with her. But not now. This is like ten years too soon—we’re way too young for this. I’m not ready to be a dad. Not to mention we’re in the middle of a war,” Lance sighed.
“Would you rather she got rid of it?” Hunk asked.
“I don’t know!” he exclaimed in frustration, “I mean, my mom was in the same situation when she was my age and she kept me. She always said that I was the best decision she ever made. I just never thought I would have to make that decision. This is going to change everything.”
“Yeah, but so did getting on a giant blue lion and flying into space,” Hunk pointed out.
“What are you saying?” Lance asked.
“I’m just pointing out that life-altering doesn’t necessarily equal bad,” Hunk said, “I mean, I was scared out of my mind to go into space with you guys, but now I’m really glad I did.”
“So you’re saying I should do it?” Lance asked.
“No. You need to do whatever is best for you. I’m just saying you need to sit down and evaluate your feelings and figure out if change is what you’re really afraid of,” Hunk said.
“What else would I be afraid of?” Lance asked.
Hunk arched an eyebrow. He knew better. Lance was afraid of commitment, but at the source was a fear of rejection. He had been rejected by a lot of girls before he had started dating Pidge. And even though they'd been in a relationship for two months now, Hunk knew that Lance was still afraid of falling too hard and winding up even more heartbroken if things didn't end up working out.
A baby complicated this, of course. Because, no matter what happened, they would always be tied together. It would also make any break-ups that much harder, and would remind Lance too much of how his dad had left him.
“Have you told her you love her yet?” Hunk asked pointedly.
“I was going to, then she told me this,” Lance said.
“You’ve been wanting to tell her for over a week now and every time you seem to have another excuse. Listen, you said you wanted her to know you’re serious. I think she needs to that now more than ever,” Hunk insisted, “Whatever you decide, you need to tell her how you feel.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” Lance sighed standing up.
“Oh, and Lance? Just know that if you guys do decide to keep it, you’re not going to be doing this alone. You’re family, and everyone on this ship is going to love that kid,” Hunk said.
Hunk, for one, loved kids. He had three older sisters who were all married and beginning to have kids, so he frequently got to babysit his nieces and nephews.
“Thanks, Hunk,” Lance said. He left the kitchen and didn’t realize where he was walking until he stood right outside of Pidge’s room.
Before he could turn around to walk back to his room, her bedroom door opened.
“Oh, hey,” she said.
“Hey,” he replied, “Can we talk?”
“Of course,” she said. The two sat on her bed.
“Why do you want to keep it?” he asked finally.
“I can’t really understand why. Every logical part of my brain says it’s stupid to keep it…but my heart already feels this weird bond with it—maybe it's a maternal instinct—but I feel like I need to protect it, you know?” she said, “And I’m afraid that, if I did get rid of it, that I would spend the rest of my life wondering how things would have been if I didn’t.”
“…I’m sorry I put pressure on you. I guess it’s not fair to force this on you when I’m the one who wants to keep it,” Pidge said.
“It’s okay,” he said, “Listen, I’m not going to say that this whole thing doesn’t still scare the crap out of me, because it does. But…I want to do this with you. I want to be the baby’s father.”
“Really?” she grinned, hopefully.
“Yeah. I’ve been wanting to tell you that I’m—”
The door slid open. Every time. He was never going to be able to confess that he was in love with her.
“What are you guys doing in here? It’s dinner time,” Matt asked.
“Just talking gaming strategies, we’ll be up in a sec,” Pidge lied with ease.
“Okay,” Matt called and the door shut behind him.
“I guess we’re going to have to tell them, huh?” Pidge asked.
“Yeah, they’re going to find out eventually. But I’m not really looking forward to getting murdered by Matt for knocking up his little sister,” Lance joked. When Pidge didn’t reply he said, “This is where you’re supposed to reassure me that he’s not going to kill me.”
“Yeah…I can’t do that,” she gave him a sheepish smile.
“Great,” Lance muttered, “When did you want to tell them?”
“Soon. It doesn’t have to be tonight, but I want to get it over with,” she said.
“Okay. Let's do it at dinner,” Lance sighed.
“For your sake, I hope Hunk isn’t serving anything that requires a knife,” Pidge joked standing up.
“Oh sure, you can joke. I’m the one who’s going to die,” Lance allowed her to drag him to his feet, “How did you want to break this to them?”
“I’ll think of something, just follow my lead,” she said.
“Okaaay,” he drawled.
Whatever plan she might have had fizzled out the second she sat down at the table. It’s not exactly easy to tell an entire table of people, one of whom is your older brother, that you’re pregnant when none of them even knew you were in a relationship. The expectant looks from Hunk, Lance, and Allura certainly weren’t helping. Neither was the fact that all food was still making her sick.
“Are you still ill, Number 5? You’ve hardly touched your goozbin steak,” Coran asked.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Damn, still?” Matt asked, “That’s like two weeks you’ve hardly eaten anything.”
Lance caught her eye and knew exactly what she was going to say next. He couldn’t help but brace himself, knowing where this conversation would lead.
Pidge swallowed her reservations and said, “Yeah. But I did finally figure out what’s causing it.”
“That’s good. What is it?” Matt asked.
“I’m pregnant,” she said, causing Matt, Shiro, and Keith to choke on their food.
“What?” Shiro and Keith exclaimed in unison.
“That’s a joke, right?” Matt laughed nervously, “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“I’m not joking,” she said.
“That’s not possible, because that would mean that my fifteen-year-old sister has had sex,” Matt said.
“Yep,” she said. She resisted the urge to add, “Multiple times.”
“What is sex?” Coran asked. Allura whispered in his ear and his face took on the same disgusted expression on his face, “You do what? That’s disgusting.”
“Who did this?” Matt demanded picking up his steak knife.
“Oh, for shit’s sake put down the knife, Matt,” Pidge ordered, mirroring her brother’s fierce expression.
“I did,” Lance said.
The next five seconds happened in a blur. Matt lunged across the table towards Lance shouting “You’re a dead man, McClain!!!” and was pulled back by Shiro and Hunk. Pidge moved to block Lance, her bayard out. She knew Matt would never hurt her, so it made sense to place herself between him and Lance.
“Let me go!” Matt shouted, struggling against Hunk and Shiro’s grip.
“Matt sit down,” Pidge ordered, “This isn’t his fault.”
“Like hell it’s not!” Matt tried to lunge again.
“Enough of this,” Allura commanded.
“Matt, I know what you must be thinking. But it’s not like that. I would never do anything to hurt her—I’m in love with her,” Lance said, stepping out from behind the protective shield of his 4’11” girlfriend (which he found absolutely adorable).
“You’re what?” Pidge asked, stunned to say the least. He had never said that before. She hadn’t even known his feelings were that serious.
“I love you, Katie,” he said, taking her hand. She could count on one hand the amount of times he had called her Katie, he only did it when he wanted her to know he was serious.
“I love you too,” she replied with a smile, putting her arms around his neck and kissing him.
Hopefully more to come soon, thanks for reading, hope y'all enjoyed it!!
“I guess I should go talk to Matt,” Pidge sighed when her brother stormed off right after she had kissed Lance. The confrontation had gone about as well as she was expecting, that by no means meant it had gone well. She didn’t think she had ever seen Matt so angry, certainly not at her.
“Good luck,” Lance told her, meeting Keith and Shiro’s glares and knowing he was in for a difficult conversation himself. He swallowed the lump in his throat.
“You too,” she said, noting the tension level in the room—all of which was directed at Lance. She gave his hand a squeeze before running down the hall towards Matt’s room.
“Hey,” Pidge rapped her knuckles on the metal door frame, poking her head inside her brother’s room, “You okay?”
“Am I okay? My baby sister is pregnant at fifteen, of course I’m not okay!” he exclaimed, “And then I had to find out at dinner, the same way everyone else did. You used to tell me everything.”
“Well, surprisingly enough, I didn’t consider my sex life to be something I felt comfortable talking to you about,” she remarked, and then remembered that she had gone in here with the objective of being nonconfrontational. Oops. That had never been one of her strong suits.
“That’s not what I’m talking about and you know it,” Matt bit out in response, “You never even told me you were in a relationship with him.”
‘Nonconfrontational,’ she reminded herself again.
She took a deep breath and sat cross-legged on his bed, “I know, and I’m sorry. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“How long have you known you were pregnant?” he asked.
“Just since this morning,” she replied, and he seemed to be a little relieved that she hadn’t been hiding her pregnancy longer than a few hours.
“How long have you and Lance been together?” Matt asked.
“Two months,” she said.
“You’ve been hiding your relationship from me for two months?” Matt asked he was still angry, she could detect the hurt in his voice, “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I wasn’t ready to tell anyone—Lance was ready like the second day we started dating. But…I just felt like there would be too much pressure once people knew. Like everyone would want to know every little detail, and I just wanted it to be mine for a little while,” she sighed, “Lance thought I was ashamed of him, but I’m not. It’s just…this is my first real relationship and I really care about him and I didn’t want to screw it up.”
“I really don’t want to ask this, but I have to know, were you…you know…using protection?” he asked, his face contorting into a grimace.
“Of course, dumbass,” she remarked, rolling her eyes, “Jeez, Matt, do you really think I wanted to get pregnant?”
“I would have hoped not, but I had to know,” Matt retorted, before moving on to his next question, “So, do you actually love him? Or did you just say it because he said it?”
“I actually love him,” she said, unable to help but smile a little.
She had actually had a crush on Lance since the first day she started at the Garrison. But, she didn’t have much time to worry about it because she was so focused on finding Matt and her dad. What she didn’t know, was that Lance had also developed a crush on her at some point.
Two months ago, on a jealously fueled whim, she demanded to know why he flirted with every female in the universe but her. To say Lance was caught off guard was an understatement, but it did prompt him to confess his feelings for her, which, caught her off guard. He then explained how he assumed she only thought of him as the goofball, and how he thought she was out of his league simply because of how much smarter she was than him.
That was when she kissed him and confessed her own feelings. She then proceeded to break down his argument by assuring him that he is smart, just not necessarily in the same way. She reminded him how he’s incredibly observant. He’s fluent in English and Spanish. He creates great strategies and plans, sometimes on the spot. How he’s a great sharpshooter, which, in itself takes a lot of intelligence. And, how he got into the Garrison, which wouldn’t have been possible if he wasn’t intelligent.
Lance, who had been struggling with a lot of self-doubt lately, needed to hear that more than he had realized.
They started going out shortly after that, which basically meant finding an excuse to go on scouting missions together, so they could spend time alone. At night, once everyone was asleep, they would sneak into each other’s rooms to talk, play video games, or cuddle.
She had actually only realized she was in love with him earlier today, after he had left the room. The realization had hit her like a truck: she loved him, she loved this baby, and she didn’t want to lose either of them. This, of course, only made her mental dilemma worse. She had never been more relieved than when Lance had said he wanted to be the baby’s father, and then again when he told her he loved her.
“What are you planning to do?” Matt asked Pidge, interrupting her thoughts.
“We’re going to keep it,” she told him, firmly. She was still scared to death at the idea of having a baby—of being a mother—but she didn’t want Matt to know that.
“Katie…please think about this,” Matt implored, “You’re only fifteen, and a baby is a huge responsibility, especially during a war. This is a commitment you’re going to have for the rest of your life and it’s going to change everything—probably including your relationship with Lance.”
“I know. Trust me, I spent all day going back and forth about it, but my mind is made up,” she said. If she was honest with herself, changing her relationship with Lance was her third biggest fear behind one or both of them dying, and labor itself. But, she acknowledged, change wasn’t always a bad thing.
“I’m just afraid you’re too young, that you’ll wake up one day and realize you wasted your entire young adult life raising a kid when it may or may not work out with its father,” Matt said.
“I know, but arguably, I’m also technically too young to have flown into space and become a paladin of Voltron,” she pointed out, “And…if it doesn’t work out with Lance…then it doesn’t work out. Of course I'll be upset, but relationships with kids fail all the time, and I think we both respect each other enough to not let our differences hurt our child.”
“Seems like you’ve put a lot of thought into this,” Matt said, suddenly it felt like he hardly recognized his little sister anymore, “What if something happens and you end up doing this alone? I mean, we are in the middle of a war.”
“I know, and that’s probably the thing that scares me the most. But…I think I can do this. Besides, I’ll never really be alone. I’ll have the baby’s favorite uncle to help me, right?” she gave Matt a playful elbow to the side.
“Favorite uncle?” he grinned, “I like the sound of that.”
“Oh, I was talking about Shiro,” she teased.
“Oh yeah? Well I’m the real uncle,” he replied, “No one can take that away from me.”
She laughed, glad to see that she had managed to thaw some of the ice.
“Are we okay, Matt?” she asked him.
“Yeah, we’re okay,” Matt replied.
So...uploads tend to be feast or famine with me. Either I'll get inspired and start writing a ton and upload all at once or I'll go a long time between uploads. Sorry about that.
Anyway, I hope y'all are enjoying it so far. Let me know what you think!
Thanks so much for reading, love y'all!!