Lindsay wasn’t sure to what extent people could really change. She wanted to believe they could; she’d spent the past year trying to reform herself. So long athlete, goody-two-shoes. Hello skipping class and partying. Yet, somewhere inside her, Lindsay knew that wearing an army jacket and ditching Millie for Daniel’s merry band of freaks didn’t necessarily mean she was a different person. She still cared about her grades, got a little uncomfortable when someone offered her pot, and liked spending time with Sam and her parents.
At the same time, would the Lindsay Weir of a few months ago have lied to her parents and skipped out on an academic opportunity to follow the Grateful Dead across the country?
That’s a hell no.
Lindsay was ripped out of her identity crisis by a familiar flash of blonde hair and blue Gortex, followed by the impact of someone plopping their weight on to her lap.
“You’re crushing me, Kim,” she wheezed, secretly hoping the blonde girl wouldn’t get up.
“Serves you right for taking so long,” Kim huffed, “Everyone else is ready to go what are you doing sitting in the van?”
“Nothing, I was just thinking.”
Kim rolled her eyes, “And there’s your problem. You think too much, Linds. You need to just do.” With that, Kim lifted herself up and offered her hand to the shorter girl. Wanting to ask how you can stop thinking but deciding against it, Lindsay accepted the help up and didn’t drop the other girl’s hand even after they exited the van.
Talk about change. Getting so close to Kim was almost more unbelievable than the renegade road trip. Wasn’t it just recently that Kim was snapping at her and calling her a poser? it felt like just the other week but the easy comfort of walking at Kim’s side and hearing the swish of her jacket, indicated that the days of their rivalry were long past. Maybe Kim had changed too.
No, Lindsay decided, that wasn’t exactly right. Kim still ragged on her whenever she thought the brunette was being a stick in the mud or “thinking too much”. And she was still the loud, abrasive, and opinionated girl that Lindsay had always known her to be. It was just that the closer they got, the more Kim let her guard down, letting Lindsay see the person who lay underneath the quick temper and bravado. Now, insults were followed by crooked grins and arms looped through hers. Angry fits of yelling were replaced by small shrugs and laying her head on Lindsay’s shoulder. Cold, blue eyes melted into a look so open and, sometimes she dared to think, caring that Lindsay found herself struggling to remember to breath. She’d wake up in the night to find a heavy arm across her waist and slow breath on her neck. Knowing Kim was too deep a sleeper to wake, Lindsay would press a kiss on her head and scoot even closer to the snoring blonde.
Lindsay guessed that there were two things to attribute to the cracking of Kim’s hard exterior. First, not living in that house with her screaming, dysfunctional family. Without having to worry about her mother’s disapproval or her step father’s anger, a weight seemed to be gone from Kim’s shoulders. Even the way she stood and sat seemed more open. The second thing was undoubtedly being away from Daniel.
Lindsay hadn’t realized how much of Kim’s time was spent getting mad at Daniel, fighting with Daniel, breaking up with Daniel, and making up with Daniel. Without her greasy-haired boyfriend around, Kim Kelly was almost peaceful. Apparently not having to worry that about you boyfriend having a bad day and taking it out on you by calling you a crazy bitch was better for your mood.
Lindsay shifted her hand to intertwine her fingers with Kim’s. The blonde short her a sideways glance but said nothing.
“OW! Fuck you, man!” Kim glared at the guy next to her who, in his dancing revery, had crushed her foot with his heavy boot.
He seemed about to respond when Lindsay pulled Kim back to face her, not wanting a fight to break out and ruin the concert, “It was an accident, Kimmy. Just ignore him.”
“Yeah but it fucking hur-…wait, what did you say?”
Lindsay grinned, this pot had her feeling really good, she was glad she hadn’t turned it down this time, “I said just forget about him, let’s keep dancing.”
The look in Kim’s eyes was one she’d never quite seen before, “You called me Kimmy.”
Lindsay faltered for a moment, “Oh…did I? I, I guess it just came out, sorry, it’s not-…” A hands clapped over her mouth. Lindsay raised her dark eyes to meet her favorite blue ones, which were, to her great relief, twinkling in laughter.
“You’re right, Linds, let’s just keep listening to the music,” Kim turned Lindsay around by the shoulders so she was facing stage. She was about to protest that she’d rather be facing Kim when a new song started.
Well maybe I’ve got no star to spare, or anything fine, or even rare
A pair of arms wrapped around her waist and she felt Kim’s chin rest on her shoulder. Lindsay opened her mouth to say something but snapped it shut again. No need to overthink and ruin the moment.
Only if you let me be your world, could I ever give this world to you
She covered Kim’s hands with her own and leaned back into the embrace. Closing her eyes, she heard Kim singing softly under her breath.
Could I ever give this world to you
“Oh just scoot over, Lindsay! It’s a huge bag.”
“Why can’t you just get another one from the van?”
“Everyone’s asleep, just move over, you hog,” Kim started unzipping the sleeping bag. With a roll of her eyes, Lindsay moved to make room for the blonde girl.
After the show, everyone had gone back to the van and built a bonfire. They had eaten hotdogs and marshmallows in the flickering glow, the stories and jokes making Lindsay laugh harder than she could ever remember. She felt on top of the world, brave and bold in a distinctly un-Weir way. Bold enough that when Kim shot her a wide, unabashed grin in response to something she’d said, Lindsay looped their arms and rested her head on Kim’s shoulder. For a moment, Kim’s body had completely stilled and Lindsay was worried that she’d pushed their ever-increasing boundaries too far. But then Kim relaxed into the physical contact and placed her free hand on top of Lindsay’s. the rest of the night was spent with Kim’s fingertips gently ghosting over the back of Lindsay’s hand. She wondered if Kim could feel her skin breaking out in goosebumps.
As Kim crawled into the sleeping bag, Lindsay realized she was no longer feeling particularly bold. When the taller girl had finally settled, so they were on their sides facing each other, the coil in her stomach had wound so tight that Lindsay was concerned she might throw up. Having Kim’s warm legs pressed against hers and her face so close was doing nothing to stop the growing tension in her stomach and chest.
“You alright there, Linds?” Kim’s voice was teasing, clearly not oblivious to the effect she was having on the brunette.
Lindsay was looking anywhere but Kim’s face, “Oh yeah, I’m fine, I think I’m just…you know, coming down from everything. It’s been such a crazy week and I’m not used to all this, you know, partying and I’m super tired and-…”
Something in her friend’s tone made Lindsay’s eyes snap up to see her face. When she did, her breath caught in her throat. Kim’s eyes, lit by the dying fire, were so blue and clear that Lindsay felt for a second that she was falling forward.
Kim seemed to be struggling to formulate her own sentence, “We don’t have to…I mean, we can just…we can just go to sleep.”
Kim’s face was so earnest and open, desperately trying to make it clear to Lindsay what she wanted but wouldn’t push for. Not if Lindsay didn’t want it too.
The unexpected softness that Lindsay was becoming more and more accustomed to struck her as so absurdly touching that she didn’t know what to say. So she surged forward and caught Kim’s lips with her own.
An overwhelming falling sensation once again overtook the shorter girl. It was almost too much to bear, every nerve in her body seemed to be alive. Then Kim started moving her lips against Lindsay’s and she decided that she didn’t care if she fell for a thousand feet and hit the ground.
This was so much better than kissing Nick, it was pretty unbelievable. Kim was soft but eager, her hands were smooth and certain as she glided them from cupping Lindsay’s jaw down to her waist. When they touched the exposed bit of skin between her shirt and pajama bottoms, it shocked Lindsay so much that she bit down, nipping Kim’s bottom lip. Kim gasped and drew back.
“Geez, I’m sorry, Kim. I didn’t mean to but your hands were so cold and I-…”
“Do it again.”
Kim’s eyes were dark and she was looking at the brunette with something close to awe, “Bit me again. On my neck. Please.”
Kim didn’t ask for things. She demanded them. So when Lindsay heard her pleading tone, she felt warm heat pooling in her stomach and a new surge of confidence. Pushing the wide-eyed blonde on her back, Lindsay crashed her lips back on Kim’s with a new desperateness that wasn’t there before. She trailed from her mouth down to Kim’s neck, nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin.
Kim Kelly was a loud girl in general and this was no exception. As Lindsay alternated attacking her neck with teeth and soothing the skin with her tongue, Kim’s moans were getting progressively louder. It got to the point where Lindsay tore herself from Kim’s neck and silenced her mid-moan with a kiss.
“Shhh, Vic and the others are sleeping like 10 feet away.”
Kim, cheeks flushed, raised an eyebrow, “I guess I’ll have to find something to do to keep me quiet.”
Before Lindsay could ask, she was flipped on her back and Kim was questioningly tugging at the hem of her shirt. In one motion, Lindsay had it off and thrown behind her.
“You’re not…,” Kim choked out, “not wearing a bra.”
“Obviously,” Lindsay laughed, attempting to make how exposed she felt while Kim’s eyes were running appreciatively over her body.
“I…you’re…,” Kim, for maybe the first time, couldn’t think of what to say and so she elected to show Lindsay just how much she appreciated what she was seeing. Peppering kisses across Lindsay’s bare chest, she lifted on hand up to massage Lindsay’s breast. Lindsay let out a harsh breath and arched her back closer to Kim’s mouth and hand.
Kim had never done this before but from the euphoric groan Lindsay made when she flicked her tongue against one pink nipple, she guessed she was doing pretty well. Keeping a hand on whichever boob she wasn’t ravishing with her mouth, Kim decided she would be happy to stay right here forever, coaxing whimpers and mewls from this girl’s mouth.
Until Lindsay placed her hand over Kim’s and began to push it down, making it clear where she needed the blonde next.
Kim stopped her hand at the shorter girl’s waistband and looked up at her, “You sure, Linds?” Lindsay said nothing but craned her head up to catch Kim’s lips with her own and pushed Kim’s inside her pants.
Lindsay was surprisingly wet and when Kim began to gently massage her clit, she threw her head back and moaned the single word, “Kim!”. No further encouragement was needed for Kim to quicken her movements and mover her lips to Lindsay’s throat.
It only lasted a few glorious minutes, Lindsay’s moans getting louder and louder until Kim sucked the skin right over her pulse point and she wordlessly pressed her face into Kim’s shoulder, riding out the waves of pleasure.
Kim pulled her hand of of Lindsay’s pajamas and collapsed on her back, bringing the brunette’s head to rest on her chest. Lindsay seemed unable to talk for a moment so Kim contently played with her hair.
“That was…,” Lindsay finally said, lifting her head up to look at Kim.
“Fucking amazing,” Kim finished, grinning.
Lindsay frowned, “But you didn’t even…”
“Still awesome,” Kim ran her thumb along Lindsay’s jaw. The former mathlete was staring at her with a look Kim didn’t quite know what to make of. She’d never seen the other girl’s dark eyes look so impenetrable.
A crooked smile broke out across Lindsay’s face, “That’s not good enough.”
Before Kim could ask what she meant, Lindsay had covered her mouth with her own, tongue brushing Kim’s lower lip. The blonde responded eagerly, placing her hands on Lindsay’s hips and pulling her closer. She was already worked up from earlier so when the shorter girl slide one of her legs between Kim’s, her hips bucked up in a desperate attempt to relieve the throbbing ache.
Lindsay’s hands lowered to her stomach, running them all over and scratching the skin on her sides. Kim hissed in pleasure. She couldn’t take much more of this so began to push one of Lindsay’s hands toward her crotch but the other girl pulled her face back and shook her head.
For a moment, Kim was afraid she’d somehow pushed it too far. Her fears were quickly assuaged when Lindsay scooted back and began tugging off the blonde’s sweatpants. Jesus, Kim thought, never underestimate a Weir again.
Once her pants were fully removed, Lindsay somewhat unsurely kissed her way up Kim’s legs, leaving a hickey on her inner thigh that made Kim’s eyes roll back. She stopped just short of the other girl’s wet heat, glancing up.
Never one for patience, Kim pouted and tugged gently on Lindsay’s hair, “What are you waiting for?”
Lindsay raised an eyebrow and began running her fingers mindlessly along Kim’s inner thighs. Switching tactics, before the sensation drove her mad, “Please, Linds. I can’t take much more of this, just please…”
There were little spots of color on Lindsay’s cheeks but her eyes were bright, “I like hearing you beg, Kimmy.”
Kim’s jaw dropped. Before she could even fully process what the other girl had said, Lindsay licked one broad stroke up Kim’s center.
“FUCK…oh Jesus fucking…” Lindsay smiled a little, hearing the explosive expletives she’d caused, but most of her concentration was on what she was doing. She didn’t strictly know what the best technique was when it came to this. After all, she had never even imagined that one day she’d be in the position where she wanted to do this to another girl. But here she found herself, between her best friend’s legs, experimentally flicking her tongue around. Thinking back to sex ed, and what Kim had done to her, Lindsay shifted up a little and her tongue found Kim’s clit.
Again, she didn’t exactly know what she was doing, but from the way Kim’s hips had bucked and the delicious moan she let out, Lindsay figured she was doing just fine. She focused on getting herself into a rhythm, moving her tongue in a pattern on Kim’s clit. The blonde was beginning to rock her hips in time with Lindsay’s mouth, her noises getting more high pitched.
Lindsay glanced up and her movements faltered for a moment. Kim had lifted her shirt and bra up and was playing with her own chest, eyes closed and mouth open. Lindsay almost came again from the sight alone.
No, focus on her, she chided herself and returned to her rhythm, adding more pressure and quickening the pace. She reached a hand up and pushed Kim’s out of the way, kneading the flesh of her breast and rolling her nipple beneath her palm.
“Ugh…Lindsay,” Kim gasped. Her breath was coming faster and her hips were moving unthinkingly. Going on pure instinct, Lindsay took Kim’s clit in her mouth and sucked hard.
“Fucking shi-…” Kim cursed and thrust her hips up one more time. She stayed like that for a few moments, waves of pleasure racking her body. Finally, she crashed back to the ground, eyes closed.
Lindsay sat up and wiped her mouth, unsure what to do. Glancing around, she noticed her shirt and reached to put it on. A hand grabbed her wrist. Kim had one eye cracked open, chest still heaving.
“Don’t even think about it,” she panted, “Just come here.”
Lindsay climbed back up, so that she was leaning on one arm with her face hovering above Kim’s. Blue and brown eyes searched each other solemnly.
Until Lindsay couldn’t stop the smile from breaking out over her face and Kim let out a little laugh.
“Well fuck, Linds.”
“You can say that again,” Lindsay leaned down and softly kissed the other girl, slowly and tenderly letting her lips caress Kim’s. When she pulled back she let their foreheads rest together. They stayed like that for a few minutes.
“What do you mean?”
Lindsay shifted so they were lying on their sides facing each other before she responded, “I mean when we go home. What happens when we go back to our lives and um…the people in our lives?”
Kim stared at her, seeming to seriously consider Lindsay’s question. It’s true that back home there was Daniel and Nick and their families, were they going to pretend that this had never happened?
Kim wrapped her arms around the brunette and pulled her closer, “If you think I’m ever letting you go again, the you’re not as smart as you think are. Get used to this, Linds, because you are officially property of Kim Kelly. And I don’t share.” She punctuated her sentence with a quick kiss.
Lindsay ran her thumb along the blonde’s cheekbone while her eyes traced over the rest of Kim’s face. Finally, she nestled into Kim’s neck and began to laugh.
“What the hell’s so funny?”
It took Lindsay a little while between peals of laughter but she burst out, “Kim Kelly is dating a mathlete!” She fell back into hysterics.
Kim grinned and placed a kiss on her forehead, “Yeah yeah yeah. A freak and a geek.”